#listen paxton is hot

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Fluffcember Day 11 | I'm s-mitten for you

Pairing | Husband!Dad!Young!Tony Stark x Wife!Mom!Female!Reader

Word count | 1.6K

Summary | It's a perfect winter day outside, so you're all going to the Christmas market together. It's a fun afternoon filled with snow, lots of Christmas cheer, games, and festive snacks. In the evening you enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate or warm milk and a Christmas movie, before having a big sleepover in the living room.

Rating | General (G)

Warning(s) | Use of pet names: Sunshine, Love/My Love, Munchkins, Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Little One, mentions of breastfeeding.

A/n | This one-shot is written for day 11 of my Fluffcember 2023 Challenge. Once more, I want to give an incredibly huge thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for not only proofreading this one but also providing the GIF as well as listening to my ramblings of ideas. You're an absolute angel sent from heaven 🎄

Events Masterlist | Christmas market | @buckys-wintersoldier Masterlist | Holiday shopping | @sweetspicybingo

Banners by @vase-of-lilies | Divider by @firefly-graphics | GIF: @ccbsrmsf1

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | AU Masterlist | Read on AO3

Today is fun and memorable for yourself, Tony, and your three Munchkins because you will visit a Christmas market for the first time since Paxton was born almost a year ago.

Both Hudson and Orion have dressed themselves, and you're sitting on the couch while eating some fruit, watching TV, and breastfeeding your son while your husband, Tony, is whipping breakfast for himself and the twins.

''Sunshine, where did the cinnamon go?'' you hear from the kitchen. And you have just taken a bite out of a piece of apple, making you unable to answer, and it comes out in a stumbling mess.

''Where is it?'' he asked, his head poking around the corner because he didn't hear you.

''Sorry, I just took a bite of my apple! It's in the cupboard with the cereals and baking supplies, where it always is,'' you tell him, and he returns to let you know he found it so he can finish the waffles for the three of them.

It doesn't take long before the smell of waffles fills the air, and you close your eyes as you feel content. It's a nice winter day outside, and the house is filled with laughter, warmth, and an all-encompassing coziness.

Tony is making waffles, and the twins are coloring at the dining room table to keep themselves busy; you're catching up with the latest episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, and Paxton is almost falling asleep while feeding him. Perfect.

Your attention gets ripped from the TV screen when you see Tony walking into the room; his sweats hung low on his hips to reveal the perfect V leading into his pants, his abs on display, making your mouth water. He can walk around shirtless every second of every day, and you wouldn't complain for a second.

''I made one for you as well, Sunshine. Didn't want to leave my best girl out when I'm making her favorite breakfast,'' he tells you as he places the plate with the waffle next to you on the couch for easy access.

''What did I ever do to deserve such a sweet husband as you? I must have been a saint in a past life to deserve you, I swear!'' you say with a smile adorning your face. Tony leans in for a sweet kiss, leaving you hungry for more.

''Thank you for being my amazing wife, Sunshine,'' he whispers, followed by a kiss on your forehead before heading back to the kitchen to finish the waffles and have breakfast with the twins.

Paxton is a hungry boy this morning, and when he's done, you do not need to pump the excess, though you still make a mental note to bring it with you just in case.

When your fruit and waffles are gone, and Paxton is burped, it's time to head toward the Christmas market.

''I'm going to change this little hungry monster and get dressed as well, so I'll be right back,'' you tell Tony, who replies with a thumbs up as he just shoved the last piece of waffle into his mouth.

Paxton's diaper is changed in no time, and when you're dressing him in today's outfit, you feel a pair of strong arms sliding around your waist and pulling you closer.

''How's our Little One doing today?'' Tony asks as his head leans on your shoulder, and you let yourself melt into his touch while dressing Paxton.

''He's good; he's finally eating again, so I'm happy. I'm still bringing the pump in case he won't eat as much later, but I think it won't be necessary.''

He's been sick with a stomach bug for the last week, but now that he's healthy and eating again, he's his happy, chubby self and stealing everyone's hearts.

When you're about to finish dressing him, he lets out a huge yawn, making you giggle at how cute he is. He's the exact copy of his Dad, and you're very thankful to have gotten the gift of your little boy last Christmas.

''Someone's still a little sleepy, aren't you? That's okay, Little One; you can have all the naps you want today to regain some of your energy. Being sick for so long isn't nice, huh,'' you coo at him before picking him up and planting a loud kiss on both his cheeks, making him giggle uncontrollably.

''There's my happy boy again!'' you say before handing Paxton to Tony, who was already dressed in the outfit you laid out for him so you could match with him today.

''I'll be right with you if you can get everything ready and loaded; we'll be ready to go in about 10 to 15 minutes,'' you tell Tony, who nods, and as promised, 15 minutes later, you're fully dressed and in the car and off to the Christmas market.

''Mommy? Are we having a sleepover in the living room again tonight? It will be the first one with Paxton, too, and I want to sleep with all of you on the big mattress!'' he asks excitedly.

''Of course we will, Baby Boy! It's our tradition, after all! But before that, we will watch a Christmas movie, drink hot chocolate, and cuddle with everyone. How do you like that idea?'' you tell him, and both twins cheer happily in the backseat.

Tony grins widely, and his hand has found its home on your thigh, squeezing softly now and again. The drive to the Christmas market goes without a single problem, and you can park relatively close to the entrance, for which you're thankful.

You're about to get Paxton out of his car seat when you notice that he'd fallen asleep during the car ride, and you turn to Tony for help. You're usually carrying him at home when you're doing chores, but outside, you prefer to have Tony do it since you'll be walking a lot.

''He's a little sleepyhead today. Can you carry him in the cloth sling as we walk over the market?'' you ask him. Tony gets the sling ready for a smooth transfer and doesn't wake up once.

''You're still sleepy, huh? Are you comfortable in there, Little One?'' when he hears Paxton's soft snores, he kisses him on the crown of his head. When he's wrapped up and comfortable, it's finally time to stroll over the market and do some last-minute holiday shopping.

Hudson and Orion are holding one of your hands, and Tony has one hand in his pocket; the other is resting on Paxton's back over the cloth. It is a sight you will never get enough of, and you can't resist taking a few photos immediately shared in your family group chat.

''Mommy? Can we get a Santa plushy for Paxton's birthday?'' Orion suddenly asks when she's spotted a big Santa plushy, and she practically pulls you over to the stand.

In front of you is a big, 15'' crocheted Santa, and you can never say no to your daughter, so not even 5 minutes later, you're one crocheted Santa richer and $90 lighter, but it's all worth it to see the smile on your daughters face.

''He'll love it, Mommy, I know it!'' she tells you before running off to Tony so she can show him her present for Paxton.

After a bit more strolling, it's time to get something to snack on and a hot chocolate for everyone to warm up, and you have found the perfect stall. They sell hot chocolate with marshmallows and lots of different Christmas treats.

''Can we have a Cupcake, Daddy?'' Hudson asks, and Tony nods, ordering a red and green cupcake for the twins and a big slice of caramel pie for you and him to share, paired with hot chocolate for everyone.

''You can find a place to sit, and I will bring everything over in a minute,'' he tells you, and Hudson and Orion storm off to find the perfect spot while you're strolling after them, and it doesn't take long for them to find one.

''Who's ready for some hot chocolate and a snack?!'' you hear Tony say, and the twins instantly perk up at their Dad's question. The drinks and snacks are gone in no time, and before you know it, you're in the car back home, and your holiday shopping is officially finished.

When dinner is finished, Tony drags both the big mattress from the guest room and Paxton's travel bed down the stairs, and the living room is transformed into your own sleepover room.

With everyone wearing matching pajamas, you're getting ready to watch Home Alone before bed, and Tony is preparing hot chocolate for you and himself, and all three kids will have some warm milk during the movie.

Tony is sitting on the lounge part of your couch with you between his legs as you cuddled into his hold, and you're giving Paxton his last bottle of the day, and Hudson and Orion are cuddled up together under a big blanket as they're enjoying their warm milk too.

This is your favorite Christmas tradition, and when Tony places a soft kiss on your head before giving you a small, reassuring squeeze, you know it was the right choice to share your life with this man.

When the movie is finished, you transfer Paxton into his travel bed, and Tony and the kids have already found their place underneath the comforter, ready for you to join them.

''Is there room for one more, or do I have to tickle someone to make room?!'' you ask playfully, and you slide in next to Hudson before pulling him against you. Orion is cuddling with her Dad, and not long after, all four of you are asleep.

One thing is sure: Christmas has become much more enjoyable after you met Tony, and you wouldn't change anything for the world. Life has never felt this perfect, and you can't wait to do this with your grandchildren one day.

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Home Calling

Talos x Original Female Character/Keller x Original Female Character

Chapter 5

Keller saw his phone ring, the familiar sense of both dread and anxiety began to surge through him. He recognised the number and if his sources could be trusted, he had a very good idea what the call was about.

    He picked up the phone from the glass table in his back garden. The hot Los Angeles sun was beating down on his skin, he’d always liked the sun, especially now that he was retired.

    ‘Is she okay?’ He answered, listening to the pause from Talos on the other end.

    ‘She’s… she’s not doing great.’ The alien with his face answered. ‘Anya’s in pretty bad shape at the moment. She was stabbed.’

    Keller sat back down, not of his own accord and swallowed back his emotions. ‘Is… is she conscious?’

    ‘Not at the moment.’ Talos sighed. ‘Look, I just have one question: what the hell happened to her? I’ve got Fury telling me she broke her promises to not use her powers to help your enemies, but her face is telling me a different story altogether. So, I just wanna know, did she betray you?’

    Keller swallowed again, pushing his glasses up his nose and sitting back, sniffing slightly as he thought about what happened when Anya ran away from SHIELD.

    ‘She didn’t betray anyone.’ Keller said. ‘She took the fall for someone who did.’

    ‘Who?’

    ‘Me.’ Keller ran his fingers over his forehead as he thought. ‘Anya Paxton is probably one of the bravest people in the whole world… and I loved her more than anything.’ He could hear Talos sitting up and paying attention. ‘I have to say, I have been waiting for this call for a very long time.’

    ‘You have?’

    ‘Yes.’ Keller nodded, watching the calm view from his home on the west coast. ‘I still get updates on Anya’s well-being, I knew you and Fury and Hill were with her and the cracks had already started to show, suddenly I found myself counting down the hours until one of the three of you called.’

    ‘Okay, I called, so let’s talk. What happened?’

    Keller folded his arms over his chest, he wasn’t used to being on the other end of an interrogation, but this was important.

 THREE YEARS AGO

 Keller watched her in the lab, she was animated, witty and always smiling. He approached carefully, trying not to disturb her too much, as she entertained the lab technicians. It wasn’t hard to see that it was one of the few things Anya really enjoyed about her time within the SHIELD facility.

    It was a cruelty that she couldn’t leave as much as she would have liked, but it was in both the interest of safety and security.

    The second one of the lab techs saw him, they began to disperse, and Anya didn’t get to finish her story.

    ‘Sorry.’ He said, quietly admiring her.

    ‘It’s okay, I’ve told it before.’ She smiled, leaning on the counter. She looked at him through the distorted glass beaker on the shelf separating them. Big green eyes connecting to his blue ones. ‘So, what brings you down here?’

    Keller cleared his throat trying not to fall any harder for her. ‘We’ve got a situation upstairs.’ He spoke quietly, trying to make clear the seriousness of it all.

    The disappointed expression was one he hated to see, but she knew he wouldn’t ask for no reason, she knew he only ever asked for her help when it was truly needed. It still didn’t make things easier for either of them.

    ‘Okay.’ She nodded, trying to make herself seem busy with the files around her. Keller felt his heart drop.

    ‘Anya, you know I wouldn’t ask-‘

    ‘I know.’

    ‘Okay.’ Keller didn’t want to rock the boat, he wanted her to do this of her own free will, it was the least he could give her after all the years she had given to him. ‘You want me to wait outside until you’re ready?’

    ‘No.’ She shook her head, half laughing. ‘Don’t be silly. I can do this.’

    ‘I know you can.’

  Anya took a deep breath and it was the moments she was putting a brave face on that he loved her the most.

    Eventually Keller led her out of the lab and towards the interrogation room up a level. It was quiet in the lift, he knew she was preparing herself and he never liked to disturb that.

    ‘I should be allowed to leave the facility tonight.’ She suddenly said, making all of his attention turn to her. ‘They gave me a pass to have an evening to myself.’

    ‘That’s great.’ Keller smiled. ‘What are you planning on doing?’

    ‘Well, I’ll have to have a SHIELD escort,’ she folded her arms, always a little disappointed at that. ‘But I think I’m going to go to a bar, have a drink… pretend to be normal for a while.’ She said the last part a little quieter, tucking her thick, dark blonde hair behind her ear. He wished he could do that for her, he wished he could do a lot of things.

    ‘Maybe you’ll meet someone.’ Keller didn’t know why he said it, it just came tumbling out of his mouth.

    ‘Maybe.’ She chuckled. ‘And then I’ll run a mile.’

    Keller didn’t know what to say, they had this conversation routinely, and he always thought it was an opportune time to tell her how he really felt, but he never did.

    The doors opened before he was ready to leave her company, but there was work to do.

    ‘Forty-six year old male,’ Keller began briefing her as they entered the observation room where a couple of agents were sitting, moving out of the way to Anya more room than was necessary. How did she not feel effected by it? ‘We know he’s killed people, we know he’s dabbled in the drug trade and we know he used to be special forces.’ He watched her take another breath. ‘Beyond that, we’re specifically looking for the name and/or location of the individual he was meeting on the seventh. All we need to know for sure is if they discussed something called Touchstone.’

    ‘That’s it?’ She confirmed.

    ‘That’s it.’ Keller nodded. ‘You need a minute?’ He always asked and she always refused, but he always made sure to ask.

  He would never let her go in alone either. He always stood by, ready to help if it was needed, she insisted she was fine, but he always stood by her.

    Keller watched as the suspect was restrained and Anya stepped forward quickly, avoiding his gnashing jaws as she grabbed his arm, immediately letting go. He followed her out of the room and into the corridor where she leaned against the wall with one hand, crouching onto the floor and breathing steadily and deeply.

    He crouched down with her, staying close without touching her skin.

    ‘You’re okay,’ he spoke quietly, trying to be soothing. ‘Just breathe, nice and deep. Slow.’ He always did his best when she felt overwhelmed like this. He couldn’t imagine the toll she took every time, but he tried his best.

    Keller gently placed his hand on her back, the barrier of her lab coat and blouse beneath, the only thing separating them. It was always dangerous, but it was the comfort she needed more than anything and he wouldn’t dare refuse her.

    ‘The seventh.’ Anya’s eyes were shut tight as she tried to organise herself and wade through the memories she just took on board. ‘He met with a man called Ashton, no last name as far as I can tell. They talked about a shipment of guns coming in from Mexico… Touchstone.’ Her green eyes found his. ‘Yes, they talked about Touchstone. He said there was a problem, one of the board members, apparently, he wouldn’t give up a key piece of information, they can’t move forward until he does. They’re going to use his family to get to him.’

    Keller gestured to a nearby agent and gave them instructions to follow up on the board member. Once he was done, all of his attention went back to Anya.

    ‘Are you going to be okay?’ He asked, noticing she was struggling to even her breathing out entirely. Anya nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. ‘Come on, let’s get you to your room. You need to rest.’

    Anya offered no resistance. Keller couldn’t help her the way he wanted to, but he did his best to guide her towards her room. He took her lab coat and hung it up on the hook beside the door. He hated how domestic her room looked, it should have been used for agents to stop over during late nights, but Anya basically lived in the facility and made herself a home inside the small space.

    She lay back on the bed and he fetched her a glass of water, sitting on the edge of the bed, resisting the urge to stroke her soft hair.

    ‘Rest up,’ he said. ‘You’ve got a big evening planned.’ He tried to make her smile and it almost worked.

    ‘I’ll try.’ She whispered, her soft lips slightly parted and he was desperate to kiss her.

    Keller went against everything his body was telling him to do, he stood up and left her to rest for as long as she needed.

    The day rolled on and he needed to make sure the suspect went into the right hands, that all the paperwork was taken care of and everyone had their assignments. He decided to go out to the only bar that Anya would go to, hoping she would be there and hoping she would be having fun.

    He caught sight of thick, dark, blonde hair and wandered close to where Anya sat nursing a drink. She looked good in her black satin dress, long sleeves to cover her arms and a minimal amount of makeup. God, she was beautiful.

    Keller adjusted his tie and pushed his glasses up, making sure he matched her energy.

    ‘So, this is where you ended up?’ He said, casually wandering towards the empty seat next to her.

    Anya looked at him with an almost blank expression for just a moment, before her gaze softened slightly. ‘It is.’ She nodded, watching him curiously.

    ‘Did you succeed in your endeavours?’ He watched her frown in confusion. ‘I mean, did you meet anyone?’

    She shook her head, taking a sip of her drink.

    ‘Well, that is a shame.’ He felt for her, knowing she could probably meet a hundred men who would take her fancy for a while, but none of it would matter, she could never make a relationship work. ‘Can I buy you another drink?’ He offered.

    ‘Sure.’ She chuckled, taking another mouthful.

    Keller gestured to the barman for another round. ‘Did you get enough rest this afternoon?’

    ‘Plenty, thank you.’ Anya nodded.

    He observed her for a moment. This just wasn’t her usual attitude, she must have still been feeling the effects of absorbing those memories. Keller finally sat at the stool next to her and inhaled deeply.

    ‘Thank you for your help today.’ He said, her gaze still planted to her glass. ‘I know I said that already, but honestly, I don’t think you get enough credit for what you do for us. For me.’

    Anya shrugged. ‘You ask, I do.’ She said it simply. ‘What is Touchstone anyway? Why is it so important?’

   Keller gave her a strange look as the barman put their drinks down.

    ‘It’s classified.’ He said as if it were obvious. ‘You’ve never asked about an operation before. Something playing on your mind?’

    ‘I just don’t understand it.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll just… I’ll figure something out.’

    Keller considered her for a moment. If she was struggling that much, surely she could just come out and say it? He’d worked hard over the years he’d known her to make that clear. She could tell him anything.

    ‘Okay,’ Keller took a sip of whiskey. ‘What I can tell you is Touchstone is a classified operation involving the shipment of more than just guns. We’re pretty sure they’re operating in precious gems in Africa. We know that the man you encountered today was one of the drivers and an enforcer of some description. The information you gave us was enough to secure the identity of the man he was meeting. Anya, because of you, we can get ourselves in on a meeting happening in two weeks and dismantle the entire trade of illegal guns and precious metals. We’re cleaning up our country and you’re the key to all of that.’ He sighed, watching her green eyes dart around his face. ‘I’m so proud of you, you can’t even imagine.’

    Anya finally cracked a smile and turned back to her drink. ‘So, you’re sending someone to the meet?’

    ‘We’ll be sending a team.’ Keller nodded, knowing he probably shouldn’t have told her any of that, but she was good at keeping secrets. ‘It’ll be like the old days of drugs busts.’

    She smiled a little wider.

    ‘Does that settle you at all?’ Keller asked, sincerely.

    ‘Yeah, it does.’ She nodded. Anya cleared her throat and sipped her drink. ‘So, what brings you here?’

    ‘I was hoping to run into someone.’ He smiled.

    ‘And did you?’

    ‘I always do.’ Keller’s eyes took in every part of her face and body while her attention was on her glass. He tore his gaze away and frowned. ‘Where’s your escort?’

    ‘Around.’ She shrugged. ‘Aren’t they always?’

    Keller chuckled, nodding in agreement. ‘I suppose you’re right.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I know you want to live a normal life, I have high hopes that one day you can, but for the time being, I hope you understand I am doing the best I can for you.’

    ‘I know.’ Anya nodded.

    Keller decided she would probably like the space to continue her free evening however she liked. He wanted to spend more time with her, but he wouldn’t take up any of her time if she didn’t want that.

    He went home and tried hard not to think on how good she looked in her black dress.

    The next day he arrived to find that Anya was being arrested.

    ‘What the hell is going on here?’ He demanded as the two agents slapped restraints on her wrists, being careful not to touch her.

    ‘Sir, there has been a security breach.’ One of the agents said, by way of explanation, but Keller didn’t move out of the way.

    ‘You’re going to need to give me more than that, son.’ Keller almost growled, he hated to see her treated like a common criminal, people were already uncomfortable around Anya, she didn’t deserve this.

    ‘Touchstone, sir, we got word that there has been a dramatic change in their plans.’ The agent almost seemed happy that Anya was being arrested. He could tell he had too harsh a grip on her arm from the discomfort on her face. ‘She leaked information using what she had learned from the suspect yesterday.’

    ‘Keller, I didn’t-‘ Anya begged, tears filling her eyes.

    ‘Shut up!’ The agent silenced her.

    Keller felt his heart dropping, had she really used what she’d found out to leak information? It just didn’t sound like her.

    ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ the other agent spoke. ‘I know you’ve put a lot of man hours into this project.’ How dare he refer to Anya as a project, she was human being like they were, she deserved to be treated like one.

    ‘Yeah.’ Keller straightened his back. ‘Take her to the interrogation room upstairs, I’ll deal with this myself.’

    ‘Sir, we’ve been asked-‘

    ‘It wasn’t a request.’ Keller made himself clear.

    The two agents almost dragged Anya down the hall, she was still pleading, telling him she didn’t leak anything, that she would never.

    Keller pushed his glasses up his nose and sighed. He decided to do a little investigating himself.

    Her room was clean, no communication devices apart from her phone, which was probably being hacked into in that very moment. Her laptop didn’t seem out of place and would also be searched, there was nothing to suggest she’d even left the room since the day before. Either she was very good at hiding her steps, or something else was going on.

    Keller made it up to the interrogation room, she had a cut on her lip that hadn’t been there before and it made his heart hurt.

    ‘What’s that?’ He asked one of the agents in the observation room.

    ‘She tried to escape.’ He shrugged, but his posture and the way his eyes moved made Keller certain it was a lie.

    ‘Did she now?’ He asked, making it clear he knew it was a lie. ‘Who’s leading the investigation?’

    ‘Agent Blake, sir.’

    Keller nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose again. ‘Well, you can tell Agent Blake, I’ll be taking over.’

    ‘But, sir-‘

    ‘Again, not a request.’

    ‘Yes, sir.’ The agent’s jaw clenched, but Keller didn’t care, he needed to get to the bottom of this himself.

    He wandered into the interrogation room to find Anya was shaking, she was terrified. He pressed his finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet. He then took out a remote which blacked out the window to the observation room, and turned off the feed to the cameras and audio recording.

    ‘You wanna tell me what’s going on?’ Keller remained calm, sitting down in front of her.

    ‘I don’t know.’ She sniffed, shaking more than before, was she scared of him? ‘All I know is I went to sleep yesterday and was woken up this morning by those two agents telling me I was under arrest.’ She tried to hold back her tears. ‘I don’t understand what’s happening, I don’t know what they’re talking about.’

    ‘Okay.’ Keller nodded. ‘So, what about last night?’

    She frowned.

    ‘The conversation we had about Touchstone,’ Keller could see she was either a very good liar, or again, something else was going on. ‘In the bar, you asked me about the operation.’

    Anya shook her head, wiping her cheeks where the tears had fallen. ‘I’ve never asked about your operations, it’s classified.’

    Keller leaned forward, observing every part of her face and something was flaring in the back of his mind, something that terrified him more than anything.

    ‘Anya, you need to tell me the truth-‘

    ‘I am telling you the truth.’ She said, determined to make him see that. ‘I wasn’t in the bar last night, look.’ She pulled out the pass that she had been given, one that should have been taken from her at the entrance, yet she still had it on her.

    Keller’s throat went dry. He knew exactly what had happened. ‘Anya, you need to listen to me very carefully,’ he started, but quickly changed his mind, time was now a factor. ‘Better yet, take my hand.’

    ‘What?’ Anya immediately took her hands as far away from him as she could. ‘I can’t do that.’

    ‘Anya, you didn’t betray anyone,’ he made it clear, holding her green gaze. ‘I did.’ Her eyes widened. ‘It wasn’t intentional. Do you know what a Skrull is?’ She shook her head. ‘It’s an alien who can take on the form of anyone, I think I spoke to one in the bar last night, I think she had your face and gave the information I gave her to the organisation we’re investigating. I need you to take my hand so I can prove it to you.’

    She sat still for the longest time, before swallowing. ‘I believe you.’ She whispered.

    It was exactly like her. He knew how serious it could be if they ever came into contact, if she ever found out who he was in his past life, the secrets he kept and never told a soul. She would see it all.

    ‘I need to tell you something.’ Keller swallowed, knowing this would either be a very good or very bad idea. ‘We’ve known each other for the longest time and there has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t…’ he paused for a moment, finding his courage. ‘I haven’t felt something for you. While I know you would never allow me to touch you, I want you to know that I think about it all the time. All the time.’

    Anya’s tears were filling her eyes and a couple fell onto her soft, rosy cheeks. ‘Why are you telling me this?’

    ‘Because I’m going to make this right, and probably go to jail for treason.’ Keller could feel his own emotion getting the better of him.

    ‘I don’t understand.’ She shook her head.

    ‘The Skrulls are not bad people, they are refugees, and their identity must be kept a secret at all costs.’ Keller stressed the importance of what he was saying, hoping she could understand. ‘I, and a select few others, have been working towards finding them a new home world, their leader is a good person with his people’s best interests at heart, I cannot let them be exposed like this. So, I will confess to leaking the information and you will be allowed to go back to work.’

    Again, Anya was silent.

    ‘Anya, do you understand what I’m saying?’

    ‘I won’t ever see you again.’ Another tear fell.

    ‘No.’ He sighed, feeling the weight of that. ‘You won’t.’

    ‘I can’t let you do that.’ She sniffed.

    ‘I can’t let these people be exposed, it’ll cause chaos like we’ve never seen.’

    ‘I know.’ She nodded, composing herself. ‘So, I have a better plan. I trust you have a safehouse in London?’

    ‘Of course.’ Keller frowned.

    ‘Then I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you how in love with you I’ve fallen.’ She swallowed back the rest of her tears, but Keller’s heart stopped. ‘I think about you all the time as well, but I would never want you to give up anything unwillingly. The greatest dream I have is one where I don’t have these powers, and I can be normal. Maybe one day I can be, but for the time being I hope that confession is enough.’

    Keller swallowed, the urge to hold her and kiss her with everything he had had never been so strong. He wanted to burn the world away for what it was doing to her.

    ‘Why are you telling me this?’ It was his turn to ask.

    ‘Because I’m going to bury the memory of you, I’m going to tell myself to never look at it again, I’m going to forget all the things I feel for you.’ Her tears were coming out thick and fast and Keller was struggling with his own. ‘If what you say is true and the safety of these Skrulls is that important, then I believe you. I’ve never needed to touch you to believe anything you say to me. So, if there’s anything you’d like to say, now is the only time you’ll have.’

    Keller thought for a moment, time was running out. He couldn’t say everything he wanted to, he could never fit it all into a day let alone minutes.

    ‘I love you.’ He said, it was the only thing that came close.

    Anya began sobbing, knowing what was about to happen. Keller pushed his glasses up his nose once more and composed himself. He turned everything back on and adjusted his tie.

    ‘Do you confess to crime of leaking information on a classified operation?’ He asked, every piece of him praying she would say no.

    ‘Yes.’ She said it quietly, but it was loud enough that the audio would pick it up.

    ‘Okay.’ Keller nodded and thought about the best course of action. ‘You will be taken to a high security facility where you will never again be allowed to come into contact with anyone. The trust we… I have placed in you, has clearly been misplaced and I can no longer justify your privileged stay with us at SHIELD. Anya Paxton, you will not be charged with treason as I still believe you can be useful, but you will be useful at a time of SHIELD’s choosing. It’s non-negotiable.’ Anya kept her gaze down, but he wanted to see her beautiful green eyes once more. ‘Anya, look at me.’ She didn’t. ‘Look at me.’ He repeated and finally her bloodshot eyes met his. He swallowed thickly. ‘I want you to remember everything I have just told you, I want you to remember that you betrayed us and should the unlikely scenario occur that you escape, there is no where I wouldn’t go to hunt you down. Am I understood?’

    Anya almost had a thankful expression. He knew how it worked, she could bury some memories, but it was easier if there was something to replace it with. She would remember his cruelty, she would remember the cold way he spoke, but she would forget everything that made him warm and kind. She would forget his true self, all to protect a people that she hadn’t even heard of, only because it was important to him.

—

 Keller moved to the shade of his kitchen, listening to Talos absorb everything he’d just told him. He wondered if Anya was awake yet, she probably still hated him, it was the plan after all. It was the only way she would never come running home to him.

    ‘I helped her escape that night, called a friend who owed me one,’ Keller continued. ‘Smuggled her out of the country to London, decommissioned the safe house and gave her everything she needed to start a new life.’

    Talos sighed. ‘She was protecting my people.’

    If that was what Talos took away from the story, then he was a better man than Keller. ‘Yes, she was.’

    ‘That’s why she looked at me like that then.’

    ‘Like what?’

    ‘I don’t know.’ Talos exhaled heavily. ‘Like she wasn’t scared of me, just… curious, I guess.’

    ‘Did she understand what you are?’ Keller was suddenly finding himself much more interested in Anya’s reaction to Talos.

    ‘I’m not sure, but there was definitely something there that didn’t fit with the normal way people react.’ Talos told him.

    Keller swallowed, pushing his glasses up his nose. ‘Talos, listen to me, it is very important that Anya is protected. I can’t do it myself-‘

    ‘Don’t worry mate, I’ve got it.’ Talos said as if it were obvious. ‘I can see why you like her. She fearless.’

    Keller smiled. ‘She is that.’ He watched the gentle breeze sway through the trees at the end of his garden. Anya would have loved LA, she would have loved the peace and quiet of his home, but every time he thought on it, he felt himself getting emotional. He needed to remain stoic for his own sake.

    ‘What about the drugs? The syringes you sent her?’ Talos broke his focus on the serenity of his home.

    ‘You can’t imagine the pain of loving someone who can never remember who you are, not for any reason,’ Keller swallowed. ‘We never caught the culprit. We still have no idea who I was really talking to that night. The less Anya remembers, the safer she is. The drug was designed to take the load off for a while. From what she told us, it is a daily effort to keep certain memories repressed, some just find their way to the surface no matter what. I wanted to help if I could, if it meant her believing I was doing it for security reasons… then so be it. But to answer your unspoken question, yes, I did notice an increase in her alcohol consumption and decided to do nothing.’ Keller could feel his chest aching. ‘It is a decision I will probably regret for the rest of my life, but the life of two people can be sacrificed for the sake of an entire people. Even if she doesn’t remember, Anya agrees with that sentiment.’

    ‘Look, maybe once we’ve found a new planet, you and Anya could-‘

    ‘I’m sorry Talos, but I just can’t think about it right now.’ Keller swallowed, taking a deep breath to recompose himself.

    ‘I understand.’

    There was a long moment of silence where Keller was sure he could hear someone sleeping.

    ‘Is she there?’ He asked.

    ‘She’s asleep. Hooked up to machines, but she’s stable for the time being.’ Talos confirmed. ‘You want me to put the phone closer so you can hear her?’

    ‘No.’ Keller immediately said. ‘No, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to… well, you know.’

    ‘I do… look, I can’t imagine what it was like to be in love with someone that you can never even hold,’ Talos said, surprisingly kindly. ‘But I lost my wife, and I would give anything in the world for the opportunity to feel her once more.’ Keller again pushed his glasses up his nose, leaning on the glass window that stretched the length of his kitchen. ‘I’m going to put the phone next to her.’

    Keller barely had a moment to compose himself, before he could hear the soft snoring of Anya. He took his glasses off, resting his forehead against the cool glass and closing his eyes. How often had he imagined her sleeping next to him? Listening to the sounds of her breathing, feel her soft skin against his, kissing her awake and holding her for as long as she needed?

    Too often.

    ‘I still love you.’ He breathed, sniffing back his tears.

    The sound faded as Talos took the phone away. ‘I will do everything I can to keep her safe, Keller. You have my word on that.’

    ‘Thank you.’ Keller whispered, but he couldn’t take any more.

    Keller hung up the phone and allowed himself a moment or two to cry over what he lost.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

[thedvilsinthedetails]

time for my monthly late night rumination on daxton [Devi x Paxton] as I listen to heatwaves on repeat

I know Ben was the right one for her and I do ship Bevi but Daxton has an inexplicable emotional grip on me that I don’t understand

I need to like…make a power point presentation on it

the thing is i think it would come across wrong bc it’s not that I prefer Paxton bc I find him hot bc that’s not the reason [if anything Ethan was the hottest of her boyfriends]

I just find the emotional connection fascinating

[basiltonpitch]

I neeedddddd to know your predictions based off the trailer (of Benvi in particular, I really do care about other things in the show but I love them the most)

ooooh okay so.....not all of these predictions are actually serious some of them i just think would be FUN but i dont think they'll actually implement lmao. also....as usual i dont know when to shut the fuck up and stop typing SO. predictions under the cut!!

my prediction for benvi is: devi ghosts ben post-boinkening (basically confirmed; the trailer insinuates that they havent spoken since); ben goes after margot because she likes him (and we all saw how well it went the last time ben started dating someone else bc devi wasn't an option), it implodes, devi retaliates by dating ethan because he's hot or whatever the fuck (and honestly good for her im sure he's a tool but like.....rebound arm candy isnt necessarily a bad thing.....except in this case it is bc that is Also going to implode.) i think it would be HILARIOUS if margot and ethan ended up going out lmfao but. i doubt it. after both their rebounds fail (ben's i want to say around episode 2 bc i dont think they'll drag it out super long, and devi's probably episode 5?) they're still.....skirting around each other, in a will they/won't they kind of situation. i can see fab & eleanor trying to talk some sense into devi but devi just not listening bc she's stubborn as hell and of course she knows there's something there with ben but they've done this back-and-forth dance for so long that she's still nervous about taking that full leap.

and well. then she ends up getting like...accosted in new york (which im guessing the trailer may have been a bit misleading about that exact scenario because, ya know, it's a trailer) and ben tries to play knight in shining armor and well. we all saw what happened lmfao. cue devi icing ben's face n devi being like "why did you do that?" and ben just says "for you" or smthn cheesy as hell. this is probs around like? episode 7 i'd like to think? and they probably at least partially get their shit together but like. lbr it's ben and devi. so it can't be 100% smooth sailing. like you said im excpecing a tatbilb sort of thing - they agree to date & then break up before going to college. (we all know devi gets denied for early decision from princeton - this could play into her actually going to a school in new york - something prestigious, ofc, she graduates as valedictorian).

based on the trailer....im honestly torn on whether ben goes to prom or not! i know you said smthn about him perhaps going home and changing, but part of me also thinks - what if he didnt go at all? what if he stays home, because he knows this is gonna be one of his last good memories with devi and he just cant do it? i know we havent seen a lot of bts for season 4, but we have seen bts of maitreyi + lee + ramona in their prom dresses, and i dont recall jaren being there at all or wearing a suit (the only suit bts ive seen is of him in 2x10). so......maybe he doesnt go, but he comes to her after. idk exactly how that will play out but thats what im hoping for!!!

and of course, they end up going to the same school - thats been something ive been sure of since, well, forever lmao. i'm 100000% convinced that the last shot of the show is going to be devi coming up to ben in the library of their college or vice versa and if im wrong i will eat my mf words

as for other predictions....

i'm with you on thinking it might not be kamala's wedding anymore, but i'm still not sure who's wedding it would be - perhaps another family member? a family friend? who knows.

i think treleanor is going to break up, which is TRAGIC because they r everything to me <3 but i feel like they're the kind of couple to come back to each other after years apart so im holding out hope for them 🤞 in treleanor we trust u know !!!!

paxton's.....there. idk. he's there. devi probably like. goes after him or whatever in the midst of the ben/margot/ethan bullshit bc she doesnt want to be alone and shes like oh i finally like myself maybe i can have this since i can't have what i really want but ya know power dynamics due to him being sherman oaks staff or whatever so. im HOPING as the party with the upper hand in that scenario he turns her down or whatever. maybe she even waits until after this to go after ethan - make both ben and paxton jealous, kill two birds with one stone

i have no idea what else im hoping for and this is straight up a Wall of text aksjdss;d im SO SORRY u know how i get !!!!!

[catty-words]

cori your nhie fics are my favs and the consequence of reading the benvi s3x scenes over again is now I can't imagine a daxton "first time" without laughing because devi's go to when she feels embarrassed or vulnerable is to be mean or aggressive and while ben either rolls his eyes finds that hot and/or gives it right back it paxton is so used to following a specific script when it comes to sex that it kinda interrupts the mood plus devi would be so focused on being the ideal partner for paxton idk if she would enjoy it and the disaster implications of the whole thing just kill me lol

listen. you come to my house - me, a known lover of daxton - and challenge me to imagine what a first time would look like for them when you know i am dedicating all my time to 'a lie away', trying to stay focused so i can finish this fic within our lifetime...... the self-control i had to employ......

what i will say in response, instead of dropping a 2-4k fic that takes me three weeks to write, is this: devi's go-to when she feels embarrassed being to lash out is specific to ben. around paxton, she's more likely to posture and try to act as though she knew what was going on the whole time, duh. and i think, in that distinction, there is room for a patient eroding of facade until all that's left is something tender and loving. there's a version of the story where devi has a fulfilling and beautiful first time with paxton and it doesn't cheapen or at all resemble the fulfilling and beautiful first time i imagine she had with ben.

[megumiifushiiguro]

one thing about me is i can never decide between paxton and ben 💔

listen paxton is hot ok? but like ben and devi!!!! they are smth else completely!!!! but yeah i still get u :')

[faxpress]

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Clay & Buck in a Hurry

Highlights of the Podcast Feed

Week of May 8 to 12, 2023

Ken Paxton, Attorney General of Texas

The Lone Star State is bracing for a flood of non-Americans across the border as Biden throws it open.

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Stephen Miller on the End of Title 42 at the Border

The former senior adviser to President Trump lays out the scope of the mess and solutions.

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Andy McCarthy on Biden Scandal, Trump Verdict

The former federal prosecutor breaks down the legal side.

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Bridget Ziegler: Students and Explicit Content

What leftists are putting in school libraries will disgust parents.

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White House Comms Expert Roma Daravi

She's convinced Trump is the only one who can beat Biden in 2024.

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Miranda Devine on the Latest Laptop Lunacy

The author of "Laptop from Hell" joins us as the walls close in.

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Clay's Bud Light Experiment Goes Viral

Before the trans campaign, who would have turned down a free beer?

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Show Quotes of the Week

"Trump is the best television president we've had since Reagan. He was so compelling on the CNN Town Hall, it was almost impossible to look away." —Clay

"To be a true leftist today is to be a hypocrite." —Buck

"We've lost the federal government, but that doesn't mean all is lost. Democrats took this country locally and that's how we will take it back. Go take your freaking city back. You can take your city back, but that's not sexy." —Jesse Kelly, Host of The Jesse Kelly Show and Author, "The Anti-Communist Manifesto"

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[newmusicradionetwork]

Ahmen Inspires Listeners To Write Their Own Narrative In “AIYIYO”

Hip-hop mogul Ahmen just released his latest single, “AIYIYO,” the second single off his upcoming album, Per Aspera Ad Astra, dropping later this year. Some people sit back and wait their turn, allowing the universe to tell them who to be, without ever trying to take the first step. Ahmen is not one of those people, provoking listeners to unapologetically pave their path in their own way. “Growing up,” he admits, “I found my voice and swagger in hip-hop music, and that evolved into writing and channeling my music as a catalyst for others to discover and elevate their voices.”  “AIYIYO” is now available on streaming platforms worldwide.  Backed by a strong drum line and the intermittent punch of keys, “AIYIYO” exudes confident, competitive energy that brings the heat with powerful lyrics that distinguish Ahmen’s carefully honed writing skills and authenticity as an artist. The ‘Troublemaker’ pushes boundaries as an artist, propelling his actions with hard-hitting lyrics and credibility.  The song is punctuated by a well-admired sense of purpose everyone chases after, with Ahmen saying, “I love the feeling of walking into a room and catching people off guard. They see a Sri Lankan man with thick-framed glasses and expect one thing, but they hear me and all they can say is: damn… bars. ‘AIYIYO’ embodies that energy and raises every bar to a new level.” Ahmen sees the status quo maintained by so many rappers today and tramples over it – while discovering fuel to keep pushing forward towards his own apogee. “AIYIYO” was written by Ahmen and produced by Alpha Centori. When not onstage, Mohan Sivaloganathan, aka Ahmen, can be found embodying that idea of propelling oneself forward and working towards a better future with his education-focused non-profit. As the CEO of Our Turn, an organization focused on fighting for a reimagined and just education system, Ahmen is constantly aware of his presence as a leader. Our Turn has activated young changemakers in 35 states, secured the endorsement of 20+ social justice institutions and influencers, and has been featured in Teen Vogue, Huffington Post, Fast Company, The 74, and most recently on the podcasts EdCuration and You Said What? He hopes to inspire young individuals of all backgrounds to stand up for equity in education. Through his music and organization, Ahmen continues to expand his reach and share his message with people across the country. Drawing from influences like 2pac with his activism-focused lyrics and Kobe Bryant with his intensely focused drive to achieve success, Ahmen pours himself into creating music that speaks to people. His last single, “LOVE LETTER” ft. Angelica Sky and Jeremy Paxton, earned praise from outlets such as The Word Is Bond, New Scene Magazine, and VENTS Magazine. “AIYIYO” proves that Ahmen is a powerful force who is not afraid to show the world what he is made of. With that signature self-assured confidence in full swing, Ahmen invites listeners to take responsibility for their own narratives. “AIYIYO” is available to stream and download on all digital platforms. Fans can expect new music to be hot on the heels of this latest release. For more info on Ahmen’s upcoming releases and his progress in education activism, you can follow him on Instagram @Iam_Ahmen or @ourturnatl or visit his website at Ahmen.us. Read the full article

[fandammit]

Look how long this love can hold its breath (1/4)

Part Ben Gross character study, part slowburn adolescent romance. 

*******

I’ve hoarded

your name in my mouth for months. My throat

is a beehive pitched in the river. Look!

Look how long this love can hold its breath.

-Sierra DeMulder, “Your Love Finds Its Way Back”

The first assignment of their Freshman year Honors English class is to write a letter to themselves. 

“I want us to capture this very moment -- who we are, what we love, what we hate, what we want,” Mrs. Allen announces with a grand flourish, and he thinks that maybe she would be better suited for drama kids in Theatre than for neurotic, type-A students of this Honors class. “I want us to trap it in amber -- preserve it so that in four years, I can give you back those very same letters and we can marvel at who we were!”

He sneaks a glance over at Devi and can immediately see they’re both thinking the same thing -- it's ridiculous and cheesy, but they’re both willing to go along with it without any fuss.

English teachers tend to have some kind of corny getting-to-know you activity, and despite this overly sentimental first assignment, he’s only heard good things about Mrs. Allen’s class.

So, that night he loads up his printer with his 32 pound bond paper (to show that he takes this assignment seriously) and goes to work trying to capture this moment of his life in amber.

Even saying it in his head makes him want to roll his eyes (he thinks Devi must be thinking the same thing, then immediately thinks about how he can make his letter better than hers).

He knows what Mrs. Allen said -- that this isn’t really an assignment inasmuch as it is a time capsule; that it isn’t a resume, but just a friendly letter so she can get to know them.

But Ben Gross hasn’t gotten this far with his GPA and academic transcript because he’s taken teachers at face value.

He doesn’t lie  -- he honestly doesn’t need to, really. His list of extracurriculars and hobbies take up nearly half a page on their own, and his write-up about his pathway to becoming a diplomat is incredibly detailed and specific.

It’s only when he gets to the final question that he hesitates.

What’s one aspect of your life that you think would make a fun movie and why? Describe it to me!

He re-reads the question, then re-reads his letter and frowns. He clearly comes across as competent and confident -- which is what he was going for -- but also a little dry. This question is obviously designed to see if he has some personality.

Which, you know, of course he does. He’s just not sure how to put that on paper so that Mrs. Allen will see that he’s a well-rounded, intelligent but not overwhelmingly dull honors student.

He thinks about writing about his Bar Mitzvah and Blake Griffin -- that would be pretty cool to see in a movie -- but a voice that sounds suspiciously like Devi’s pops into his mind and calls him lame. He thinks about the time he sat next to Drake in first class on the way to Toronto with his dad, and this time an image of Devi rolling her eyes pops into his head.

He leans back in his chair and wonders what Devi is writing about. She probably has half a dozen stories to choose from, each one more exciting and endearing than the last, and each one bursting with the kind of personality that teachers -- for the most part -- seem to find charming rather than obnoxious (which is what it is).

He’ll never admit it out loud, but even though he knows that he can be charming when he needs to be, there’s an easy charisma to Devi that he’s never been quite able to replicate.  

He frowns at that thought, then scowls at the rather wide tangent his thought process has taken.

The cursor blinks at him as an idea slowly takes shape in his mind. He writes about the long rivalry between him and Devi -- the back and forth exchanges in class that became back and forth exchanges of first prize and first place and ‘best of’ certificates. The sixth grade disaster of their competing Oregon Trail projects, which almost got them both suspended and lead to a long enough truce for them to divide up any extracurricular and project they might ever take part in.

By the time he’s done with his fictional movie, it’s overtaken his letter; the answer to that one question as long as all the rest of his answers combined.

He reads over it and edits a word here and there, rearranges a couple sentences. Not to toot his own horn, but there’s now a buttload of personality in this letter in addition to proof of his competence, confidence and intelligence.

He ignores the smug-sounding voice of Devi in the back of his mind telling him that he couldn’t have done it without her.

*******

Mrs. Allen takes all their letters with a smile on her face and gathers them close to her chest.

“I can’t wait to get to know you better! Reading these letters is the best way to start my year, and in four years, you guys are going to love reading them back to yourselves.”

She turns and puts the letters in a filing cabinet, which gives him the chance to roll his eyes without her seeing.

She turns back to the class and claps her hands together.

“Now this second one -- it’s not everyone’s favorite, but I personally love it because it lets me see everyone in a different light.”

He groans inwardly, basically sure that she’s going to announce some kind of partner or group project, which he absolutely loathes. It’s way too early for someone to dull his shine in this class (or, in the case of Devi, threaten to eclipse him).

Unfortunately, the second assignment is much, much worse than a group project.

“This assignment isn’t for you,” Mrs. Allen says as she starts to hand out the assignment sheet. “It’s for your parents!”

Anxiety gnaws at the pit of his stomach the minute she says it.

“For homework, I need your a parent or guardian or uncle or aunt or grandparent to write a letter about you to me. It doesn’t really matter who specifically it is, it just should be someone who has helped raise you and shape you to become the person you are today. I give suggestions on that sheet about what I’d like them to write about, but really, those are just suggestions.” She smiles brightly at the class. “Basically, I want to see a different perspective on you. This helps me get to know you better and whoever takes care of you at the same time.”

The anxiety has eaten through his stomach and is now going to town on his liver.

“And I know that your parents are busy people, so they have until the end of the week to complete it.”

He slinks as far down in his chair without seeming disrespectful, trying to figure out a way to keep his anxiety from ravaging his lungs.

“What’s wrong, Gross,” Devi asks to the right of him. “Afraid your dad won’t be able to write anything nice about you?”

He shoots up in his chair and glares at her.

“More like I’m trying to figure out how to make sure my dad doesn’t go over the page limit because I’m so awesome.”

She rolls her eyes and turns back to talk to Fabiola, as he turns his attention back to the paper on his desk.

His parents are both out of town until Friday -- his mom’s at some kind of rejuvenation spa and his father is brokering a deal with some artist named Clairo -- so he knows he won’t be able to ask either of them. It makes sense -- they’re busy and this assignment is stupid, and he should really argue about it except that Devi doesn’t seem to care about it in the slightest and has already put the assignment sheet in her binder.

Putting up a fight about it would admit to a weakness -- his only one, really -- and he’d rather drop out of the class or fail than admit that to her. Er. To anyone.

For just a moment, he considers asking Patti, who does meet all the criteria -- she is someone who’s helped raise him and shape him to be the person that he is. He dismisses the idea in the next moment, because even if she technically fits the parameters, he can only imagine the kind of pity he’d get from Mrs. Allen when she reads a letter written by his house manager. He needs Mrs. Allen to be impressed by him, not feel sorry for him.

He thinks about that letter over the next few days and finally comes up with a compromise -- he writes it himself, but from the perspective of his dad.

He then emails it to his dad, who signs it, scans it and sends it back as an attachment with an email that says Couldn’t have written better myself! You’re so smart! Love you!

He takes that as confirmation that all those things he said about himself as his dad were true, and tries to tell himself it feels just as good as if his dad had actually written them.

*******

The following Monday, he overhears Mrs. Allen tell Devi that her father’s letter was so beautiful and heartfelt that it made her cry.

He doesn’t hear what Devi says in return -- some just-right mixture of pride and genuine gratitude, he’s sure -- just turns away and pretends to rifle through his backpack.

There’s a pang in his heart that he tells himself isn’t jealousy, and an odd sense of relief when Mrs. Allen passes by his desk without saying anything at all.

*******

That assignment is the second thing he thinks about when he hears about Devi’s dad and the orchestra concert (the first thought is something that can’t be put into words -- a kind of bottomless sadness shot through with a concern he doesn’t know what to do with).

He wonders if Mrs. Allen will give that letter back to Devi. If doing so would be an unbearable kindness or an unspeakable cruelty. If Devi would even open it if she did.

Mostly he wonders if Devi is ok, and what would make her feel better.

After hours of thinking about it, he realizes he doesn’t know. It makes him feel sad -- or useless, maybe -- that even though he’s known her for almost his entire life, all he knows is how to piss her off.

He briefly thinks about deliberately tanking a test this week to make her feel better, then realizes that he:

A. Is so smart that he probably wouldn’t be able to tank a test, even if he tried.

and

B. Devi would know -- she always knows when he’s up to something -- and it would do nothing but piss her off even more.

So he studies his ass off and gets a higher grade than she does on their Biology test. Her nostrils flare when she sees the grade on his test, and for a moment he really does feel bad -- maybe he should’ve tried to tank the test after all.

But then her eyes flash with something that isn’t sadness for the first time in weeks, and he’s so absurdly happy to see it that he doesn’t even come up with an insult when she lobs one in his direction.

He tells himself it’s because having a nemesis who’s all in makes him a better student, but when she gives a full-on victory cry in class a week later because she’s beaten him on their English test by half a point, that same absurd kind of glee is back with it.

A small part of him thinks maybe he’s just happy that she’s happy, in whatever small way she can be right now. The larger part of him ignores that, and studies twice as hard for their upcoming Algebra test.

*******

He thinks about that letter again on the way home from the Model U.N. trip, as he watches her freeze the moment an ambulance comes shrieking down the street.  

His mind is a jumbled mess of emotion -- anger at the way the conference ended, confusion at the way things have seemingly ended between him and Devi -- but all that fades away in a wave of concern as he sees Devi force herself to take steady breaths.

He almost wants to ask if she’s ok, but in the next moment she catches him looking at her and snaps a question, and he’s so mixed up and off-balance that he falls back on what the two of them do best -- insults and sarcasm.

It’s comfortable, but it doesn’t settle him, and for the first time (maybe not for the first time) he wishes he could be good at something that isn’t a way to hurt her.

*******

He thinks about that again when he’s sitting across the dinner table from Devi, her insults still ringing in his ears.

Now would be the perfect time to hurt her the way she hurt him, to make her as miserable as he feels right this moment.

But then he remembers that letter, thinks about the girl whose dad loved her so much that talking about her made a stranger cry, about the look of misery on her face as the ambulance went by and how awful it must feel every time she hears a siren.

He remembers the feeling of wanting to be good at something that isn’t supposed to hurt her.

So he swallows his bitterness at the way the Model UN Conference ended and swerves away from hurting her, makes some charming jokes about how good she is at diplomacy instead.

She smiles at him from across the table, and later even laughs when he tells her about his awkward pizza encounter (he won’t say it makes him feel better than he has in the last 24 hours, but something loosens in his chest at the sound of it).

It doesn’t take away the loneliness of the day completely or soothe all his disappointment, but even though the day still stings, at least he knows that he can be alright -- maybe even good -- at something more than just hurting Devi.

*******

He knows he’s had more grandma juice than is advisable when he finds himself staring at his reflection and telling himself that he didn’t throw this party just so Devi would come to his house.  

It’s his birthday, he reasons, and people throw parties on their birthday. It’s what his parents wanted when they left him, and he’s nothing if not a dutiful son. Plus, he has the house for it, and the money for it, and the friends --.

Well, he’s still not drunk enough to say -- even to himself -- that he has the friends for it.

But having parties is what cool kids do on their birthdays, and even if he can admit that he isn’t one of them, he’s at least adjacent enough to cool kids to be able to emulate their behavior.

So, yeah. That’s why he threw this party -- to be cool. Not because Devi asked him about throwing one. Not because seeing Devi look at Paxton like he was a goddamn chiseled marble statue come to life in the style of Pygmalion set off a hot spark of something that felt like jealousy in the center of his chest. His throwing this party had nothing to do with Devi, at all, in any way, shape or form.

He tells himself that a half dozen times as he looks at his blurry reflection in the mirror, as he splashes his face with water in the hopes that it’ll miraculously clear his vision, as he walks down the stairs holding his fourth cup of grandma juice.

Then he sees her come through the door and it’s like his vision clears up completely (if momentarily, because apparently emotions do not supersede biology) and he feels a warmth in his veins that has nothing to do with the alcohol currently coursing through it because Devi is in his house and she actually looks genuinely happy to see him.

He takes her on a tour of the house, pointing out the memorabilia from all his dad clients, showing her the game room and the gym and the two indoor pools (one chlorinated, one a saltwater pool), and she’s complimenting it all without even the slightest bit of sarcasm and laughing at his jokes and mocking him without the usual hard edge to her and he honestly can’t remember the last time he was this happy and --

Oh, fuck.

He totally threw this entire party just to invite Devi over to his house.

[chajonas]

Always wanting to experience the infamous enemies to lovers trope, especially in academic rival, but then I realized I need to be excellent in study, no time to procrastinate. And yet, I'm not that smart and the embody of procrastination.

[fbfh]

Paxton Hall Yoshida dating headcanons

Paxton would be the BEST FUCKIN BOYFRIEND

Seriously

He’s so chill and affectionate

Whenever there’s a party or event you have an automatic date

Even if it’s not his normal scene

You’ll be like yeah the cast party for the school musical is tonight after the last performance

He’s like cool i’ll be your date

You’re like you don’t really need a date to a cast party??

He’s like oh

Can i still come

Yes yes he can

He will very awkwardly and goofily participate in cast karaoke with you

That’s what’s so great about him

He’s not afraid to leave his comfort zone a little for you

Cause he knows you’ll always have fun if you’re together

He’ll teach you how to play his favorite video games

You teach him about the stuff you’re into

He loves hearing you talk

He could listen to the sound of your voice for hours

He’ll one hundred percent fall asleep on facetime late at night while you’re rambling about the show you’ve been watching

Cause the sound of your voice is so comforting

Or like

About leaving his comfort zone

If there’s a show or movie that you really like that’s not at all a genre he usually watches

He’ll absolutely watch the season finale with you cause you need someone to watch with

You’re freaking out over how they’re ending the season

It ends up taking twice as long cause you keep pausing to catch him up

By the end he knows almost as much about the show as you and has only technically seen one episode

And he’s so affectionate

Oh my god

He’ll always an arm over your shoulder or around you waist

Fingers intertwined

A hand on your leg

Or just being in a general affectionately close proximity

His friends know he’s down bad for you

They’ll catch him giving you the look

Over the most mundane shit too

You’ll like

Idk walk across the room to recycle your water bottle

When you turn to walk back you see his friends poking him and ribbing him for being whipped

You have a guaranteed lunch spot with him in the hot pocket now too

(even though devi and her friends are probably the only ones who calls it that, everyone else just calls it ‘where the swim team and their friends eat lunch’ but w/e)

If you prefer to sit with your friends or by yourself you’ll alternate sitting with his friends and in your favorite spot

Maybe eventually your friend groups kinda melt together and y’all just hang out in a big group

That’d probably be really fun

Cause something that’s important to remember is that even though paxton and his friends are kind of popular himbo jocks none of them are mean

They’re all feminists and allies and stuff yk

They’re all really chill and accepting

You’re both surprised at how well all your friends get along

But it’s really nice

You’ll also study together a lot

You help each other with whatever subjects you’re good at

Even if you’re both terrible at school, studying together makes it a lot better

You can bounce ideas off each other

You’ll catch each other’s little mistakes that leads to over all better grades for both of you

Plus you can make out during study breaks

He can’t do that with a tutor

Well he could but it’d probably be really awkward

You go to all each other’s events and games and stuff!!

He gets so excited when he sees you in the crowd during a swim meet

You have this cute little ritual and handshake for good luck that you do before every game

Sometimes you’ll just be hanging out cuddled up

And he’ll read you a couple chapters of one of the books he got from his grandpa

He wants to read through all of them

It’s really nice

At one point he’s ranting about one of them

About how the it’s really nice to read but the characters all make awful decisions

You’re like hey you should write reviews for the books you’re reading

He’s like haha bet

You’re like no seriously! You’ve got a lot of good points and you said you want to practice for writing college essays so that might be a good place to start

He’s like huh

He writes out his thoughts for some of the books

And eventually ends up posting them on good reads or something

Anonymously ofc

A ton of ppl agree with him!!! They’re like oh my god my thoughts exactly you said it perfectly!!!!

Huge boost to his confidence!!!!

He shows you some of the comments of people agreeing with him and praising him for laying out his thoughts in such a well organized manor

You’re so happy for him and so is he

And he knows he has you to thank

Your support while he’s becoming the best version of himself is so so important to him

And he makes sure you know that

(I don't think anyone's on the tag list for paxton/nhie so if you wanna be submit the tag list form in my masterlist/pinned post lol)

[hawkcoyote]

NEVER HAVE I EVER S3 SPOILERS AHEAD

So I just finished watching season 3 of NHIE. And I can confidently say this is the worst season of the show. For many reasons.

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For starters the season felt all over the place with no real direction. The pacing was awful. Felt like the show cut out on some of its best elements starting with Devi’s family and her family’s dynamics. Something that was central to the first 2 season fell to the background in season 3. It is completely bizarre decision because Poorna is the best actress and is was playing on of the most compelling characters on the show. Yet, she was cut out of the season like this. Also hated what they did to Kamala’s storyline. She literally couldn’t get married because she didn’t feel ready and wanted to focus on other areas of her life and yet the entire storyline centered around her boyfriend. We also barely saw any real backlash from her family.

Next up we have the whole Aneesa and Fabiola storyline. What was even the point of that subplot. Maybe I just didn’t get it but it really served zero purpose to either characters or the plot. And the worst part is is how the dropped Aneesa like a hot potato once they decided they didn’t want to do it anymore. 

I should also just take the time to highlight the weird fatphobia that keeps happening in the show. It was just Eric at first and now Mrs. Paloma? Idk her name, she was a teacher. 

Even the sessions with Dr. Ryan weren’t even good or as productive as they used to be in season 1 or 2. Mr. Shapiro was MIA. Also I am a bit pissed that we never found out how anyone did on the AP exam. It was a running joke for 3 seasons that Facing History was not from the AP curriculum with the characters complaining about how it didn’t prepare them for the AP exam. It felt hollow and empty that a class that we spent so much time in, just faded into the background like it didn’t matter.  

It’s finally time to talk about the husband(s). Points if you get that reference. 

Let’s start with our newbie, Des. Des was fine. I honestly didn’t find him that special or compelling. I just liked that at least Devi felt good about herself while she was with him. I was glad she was happy. I was glad for the representation of it all. That Mindy finally broke down and allowed her self-insert to date an Indian man. I know that is a big deal for her. But he was kinda lame as a character, but it is not his fault. He was essential a plot device. They actively refused to deepen his character even when there were several perfect places to drop any nugget. It was the same with his mother. There were scenes where I was watching and I was screaming “Say something!! Say anything about yourselves!!!” And then they don’t. It was so annoying. There were opportunities to give these characters more life. But instead they did this. Hated it. 

Next we are gonna talk about Paxton. So despite Daxton and Season 3 flopping this was actually a great season for Paxton. Like his character really seems to have grown and matured the most out of everybody on this show and it isn’t even a competition. What I don’t understand is how can we have that, but we don’t have Daxton? Also weird that their shared emotional growth they got from the relationship didn’t mean shit to Devi at the end. Someone needs to help me understand why despite Paxton constantly affirming her, the show treats it like it means nothing.  It’s all trash, because he isn’t as smart as Devi? That they have different interests?  I feel crazy. Like she got the hot boyfriend and the hot boyfriend was great! And Devi could just never see that. Is this part of the the show’s overall arc or something (and I will expand on this point in the Ben section). I mean a simple acknowledgement would be nice. But nope. Never not once.  Finally let’s talk about Ben. Ben is the worst character on the show. He is the worst character on the show. He is the worst character on the show. My goodness, Ben is shitty (pun very much intended). Listen, I will admit that season 2 Ben wasn’t that bad, but WOW season 3 Ben is just awful. They doubled down on his worst character traits. We seriously dedicated ANOTHER episode to that clown and it wasn’t even about addressing his smug condescending attitudes towards people. Several people bring this up to him multiple times and he hasn’t changed one bit. We wasted yet another episode pointlessly following Ben around (when the season had serious pacing issues we could have used that episode instead of giving it to that waste man), and what he got out of that was he needs to study less. WHO THE FUCK CARES!!!!! That was such a deeply unserious episode. Again I have to wonder is this part of some overarching plot? Because what the hell is this? 

Let me expand on why I wonder if this is a part of some overarching for Devi and the love triangle. Throughout the season Ben would highkey neg Devi. PLEASE tell me I wasn’t the only one that caught that shit. PLEASE tell me y’all saw that shit. Like that boy made a note about Devi wanting to kiss some guy, showed up, and started ragging on her. And you could tell he did it because if he made her feel bad enough she will want him. When she would still get/chase after guys after his failed at negging he would look all sad and hurt. And he would do this throughout the season. I mean the basis of the final scene, was him saying he would have sex with her if she is on her deathbed a still a virgin. They have the audacity to sprinkle in some moments of semi-human decent behavior, and sometimes Devi would actually buy into that  crap. Which had me thinking, stay with me, what if Devi’s attraction to Ben is related to her low self worth? Because why else would you like a person that spends most of their time cutting you down? Please explain it to the class. It’s either that or Mindy and Lang are truly pathetic people if they think Ben is a viable love interest. I do question Mindy because her taste is very questionable. She definitely likes guys like this. Anyway back to my theory, since season 1 ended I believed that Devi’s interest in Ben has always come from a place of insecurity.  She didn’t think she “deserved” a guy like Paxton. That he was too “out of her league” or whatever. And that is ultimately what killed their relationship.  But Ben gets second life after negging her for half the season? Why?  All of this and I didn’t even talk about Ben and Aneesa. Ben and Paxton. Ben and Fabiola? Jesus. Again Ben has an ugly personality. I mean Ben antis stand up because we won today. We might have lost the battle but we have won the war. 

Anyway rant over. I would also like to give a big shoutout to Trent and Eleanor. I personally wasn’t as excited about it as some of the fandom was going into season 3. But they got me. They were actually kinda cute, and not because they helped give me Daxton scenes after the breakup. Same with the 5 seconds of Fabiola and Daxton interaction. It was a funny scene.  

[philhoffman]

Twister (1996) might be the PSH movie I’ve seen most often, but this is the first time I’ve watched it as a ✨ Monday Philm! ✨

I seriously love everything about this movie. We share a birthday (shout out to May 10th!), it was one of my late uncle’s favorite movies, it was the first PSH film I ever saw on the big screen at a retro showing at my local theater (still one of my favorite theater experiences ever). Soooo cheesy, nearly every line is quotable, a fantastic cast, the best, most ridiculous behind-the-scenes stories. I love Bill Paxton and this is probably my favorite Helen Hunt role. Dusty is THE comfort character and this gang is THE best found family trope.

I wrote before about how Phil seemed to talk about Twister with a bit of embarrassment sometimes, but it’s such a fun, lovable, totally committed performance. He’s the standout of the ensemble cast, the happy-go-lucky golden retriever of the group and another one of those performances where he’s so immersed in the character it can be hard to recognize glimpses of Phil himself (which is what he wanted!), though it’s easier to find him if you close your eyes and just listen to his voice. Every time I rewatch it another line or expression sticks out to me, from the funny parts like “Give me a kiss, baby!” to the way he uses his big, beautiful hands to cover the others and cradle Preacher’s head during the drive-in theater scene. I also think about the story Phil told about eating too many hot dogs on set and gaining like 20 lbs over the course of the film, which screwed up the continuity LMAO

I’m so glad Twister happened to be this week’s movie — watching the film role Phil took so he could move back to NYC, the same week I visited NYC again for the first time in years. I can’t even believe the influence he’s had on my life sometimes, this big red-headed puppy dog of a guy with such singular talent, how much I love him. 

[boxboysandotherwhump]

Useless pets get hurt.

taglist: @ashintheairlikesnow @vickytokio @thefancydoughnut @orchidscript @haro-whumps @also-finder-of-rings @wolfeyedwitch @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @morelikepainsley

This is very early on in the timeline.

CW: negative self talk, low self esteem, whumpee struggling with past conditioning

Paxton stalked the apartment like a ghost. An extraordinary quiet, well mannered ghost, desperately searching for a way to be of help, to gain his master's favor and earn his right to wander the warm, well lit rooms for a little longer before Amal would realize how useless he was, how rotten. Until he’d send him away to be refurbished.

Paxton shivered.

His anxiety grew with each passing day, festered and spread from deep within his guts until his teeth ached with it and his scars itched.

Whenever he scurried into the kitchen to clean away Meryem's dishes, or fold Amal's laundry he was beaten to it and ducked out of the room while whispered apologies fell from his lips. Paxton didn’t understand why his master wouldn’t let him clean, or cock, or please him, but it wasn’t a pet's place to question its master's wishes. A pet's place was to obey. But how was he supposed to obey orders that were never given?!

Groaning, Paxton rolled onto his side on the makeshift sofa-bed he could never ever earn, but was given regardless, and listened into the quiet of the apartment. Miss Meryem and Mister Finnegan were both out. Only his master had remained, holed up in his room to work on a new tattoo design for a rather demanding client, as he’d put it. The sole disruption of this peace was the steadily rumbling washing machine. That, and Paxton’s thunderous heartbeat.

It did that sometimes, start beating out of nowhere like it wanted to rip from his chest and skitter away.

The washing machine beeped. Paxton shot up. Black strands of hair stuck up from his head every which way as bare feet hit the ground with a quiet ‘slap’. He ran, eager to unload the machine and hang up the laundry before his master banished him back on the couch. The laundry basket filled up with shirts and pants, damp and smelling of the flowery fabric softener Amal loved.

Paxton hurled the basket onto his boney hip, ready to run for the attic, when his master appeared in the kitchen doorway, a hot-water bottle, probably in need of a refill, clutched in one hand. His lips thinned. Displeased.

Paxton’s eyes dropped to the ground, zeroing in on a spot he’d missed to scrub last night, in the dim light of a candle. Legs buckling, he wanted to drop down and clean it up. Plead forgiveness for his negligence. Only that his master never ordered him to clean in the first place.

“Pax, hey. You don’t have to do my laundry.”

Tears burned hot behind Paxton’s eyes at the discomfort in his master's voice. He'd gotten it wrong. Again. All he did was fuck things up. Fail. He was a failure. He was a failure and nothing made sense. Why did nothing make sense anymore?!

The laundry basket dug into his hip, hard and white and unforgiving.

After that first night filled with his master's kindness, Paxton had hoped that Amal would be a more reasonable owner. One he could please and to maybe even earn his praise, if he worked hard enough, if he was good enough. But master hadn’t praised him. He didn’t give orders. Nor punishments. No slaps to the face or pats on his head, like his handler used to do for a chore well done. At that moment Paxton missed his handler. The clear cut rules of the facility. It’s icy, immovable stability.

Not bad, trainee. I wanna see you iron another. Quicker, now. Chop, chop. Or your hands are gonna get ironed next. Good boy.

He’d rather die than go back there.

Paxton just wanted to know what was expected of him. Who he should be, here.

“-ton. Paxton, what’s up?”

Masters' voice filtered through the memories of white hallways and black batons. Paxton gripped the basket tighter. His lips wobbled. He didn’t want to cry, but the first tears already rolled down his cheeks.

“Hey, hey, it's alright, everythings fine. I’m not mad. It’s okay. What’s going on?”

“Please-”, Paxton choked out. Vision swimming. “A- a useless pet is a p-pet that- that’s hurt, Sir. P- p- pl… please let m-me be useful. Let me serve you. It it it’s what I’m for.”

It’s all I know to be.

Master sighed. Paxton didn’t dare to look up. A haze of tears and fear distorted the tea stain still smeared over the floor. He should have cleaned that. He should have kept his mouth shut, too. Stupid useless pet! Bad pet! Worthless, pathetic, cryba-

“Okay. We- I’ll give you things to do.”

Paxton looked up, dark eyes glittering with tears and hope. A night sky full of stars and lingering storms.

“We’ll, uhm, we will figure this out.”

A smile spread across his master’s face, holding a sadness Paxton didn’t understand. His own smile was soft and grateful in turn.

Yes. Paxton thought, warmth pooling in his belly. I will learn to make you happy.

Master was still so young and Paxton his very first pet, he probably just needed some time to get used to being an owner. Paxton was determined to help his master with that!

They would figure this out.

[edwinas]

Hey :)

Is Devi still in love with the idea of Paxton? I personally think she *was* in love with the idea of Paxton and that changed through season 2. I was just hoping you could elaborate on this? I saw few comments about how she is still in love with the idea of Paxton and I'm confused again.

(also please ignore my previous ask lol)

Hi, thanks for sending this!

I think Devi accosted Paxton for sex in ep 1 because she had a fantasy of him or as you said, she’s in love with the idea of him. Prior to that scene, they had never interacted and she mooned from afar.

But once they got to know each other, Devi started seeing Paxton as a real person. There’s a 0% chance that a real person aligns with your fantastical expectations and that’s not bad! People, especially teenagers, are allowed to be human.

Devi had a crush on Paxton throughout S1 – he was dreamy, her knight in shining armour, hot etc. But she also saw a teenage boy with feelings. They were vulnerable and open to each other, some of the most truthful S1 conversations were between them. Paxton’s not an empty cipher Devi can project her fantasies onto anymore. Paxton protecting himself by ignoring her (not commenting on whether it’s right or not, that’s beside the point) cemented the fact that he was his own person, not someone who existed solely for Devi.

The more Devi got to know him in S1, the less she loved the idea of him and the more she liked him. Put simply, she got to know the real Paxton from Paxton, not through rumours or others, and her crush grew. He took care of her, listened, supported her, complimented her etc, nothing like your stereotypical jock! Paxton’s great friend and boyfriend material.

Also, being in awe of someone doesn’t mean you don’t truly like or know them. That’s such a weird argument against Paxton and Daxton.

So Devi saw and liked the real Paxton in S1, S2 was about them becoming closer. She still drooled over him but she sees saw him as a person. People show their true colours in adversity. Paxton went through some stuff and Devi saw that he’s human, just like everyone else. 

Once he said they’re better off as friends, she respected his wishes and helped him out with no ulterior motives. Sure she felt guilty for contributing to him loosing his scholarships but she went above and beyond to help him. She didn’t have to convince Shapiro to let him retake the test or rap lessons. She did that because she cares for Paxton on an intimate level, not as her idol. They were there for each other like in S1, when Paxton had his panic attack or Devi was crying about Eleanor.  

Devi breaking up with Paxton in the finale may seem like the scene where the Paxton fantasy shatters but she’s known and appreciated the real Paxton since the start of S1. She fell for the dorky boy who was overprotective of his sister, kept candy wrapper figurines, hit her with a car.

Paxton’s unapologetically himself and Devi fell for that, not an imaginary version of himself.

[eyedancer7a]

"It's my birthday today and I promised myself that I would publish another chapter. So here we go, I hope you enjoy it! 😉🙂😊

"Presents, Snow and Mistletoe" by eyedancer7a

CHAPTER 2 - It’s You

Summary:

Paxton was having a blast coming up with various activities and surprises for Devi. He wanted to start off small, just enough to pique her interest. He didn’t want Devi thinking she had a mysterious stalker in her midst.

Or Devi starts to receive surprises from her Secret Santa.

Paxton was having a blast coming up with various activities and surprises for Devi. He wanted to start off small, just enough to pique her interest. He didn’t want Devi thinking she had a mysterious stalker in her midst.

Paxton found out that Dr. Vishwakumar always took Devi to the local coffee shop for a quick breakfast on Thursday, since clinic started early on those days. This would be a great time for her first small interaction with her Secret Santa. He spoke to the manager about wanting to leave a special treat for Devi.

He ordered a large hot chocolate with the word “latte” written on it. Devi told him once, “You can be taken seriously if people think you’re drinking coffee.” Of course, she’d rather have delicious goodness to wake her up instead of coffee.

Paxton also left her a doughnut to go with her surprise hot chocolate. Who doesn’t like doughnuts? He remembered Devi ranting that she would rather be eating that scrumptious sweet treat than being at Ganesh Puja itself.

He thought about how stunning Devi looked in her traditional turquoise and gold sari that day. He had been quite surprised to see Devi kicking her locker in frustration since she was so beautifully dressed.

Devi stepped up to the counter to place her order. She had to remember to order a large black coffee for her mother. “Hey I remember you! You’re secret hot chocolate/latte girl!” exclaimed the barista. “You’re Devi right?” He proceeded to hand her the two coffees and the doughnut. Devi shook her head stating, “I didn’t order this.”

The barista handed her a bright green and red note with the message,

To: Devi

“Some Sweetness for Someone Sweet.”

 From Your Secret Santa.

Devi was floored that someone was nice enough to give her a treat! Was this kind of like pay it forward, she thought? She was even more surprised that her Secret Santa left a large black coffee too. Did someone really care enough about me to bring me a little joy?

Watching from the window, Paxton saw the happiness and surprise on Devi’s face. He wanted her to feel cared for. And the joy on her face made him feel happy too!

Devi couldn’t wait to get to school to tell Eleanor and Fabiola about her Secret Santa. Devi ran down the hall dodging students left and right. She waved her arms around trying to get her besties’ attention. She finally came across Eleanor and Fabiola gossiping about last night’s episode of “Riverdale.” Devi began to tell them about the mysterious incident that she’d experienced that morning.

“You will not believe what happened at the coffee shop today,” Devi exclaimed. Fab and El listened carefully to Devi recount the tale. “Who do you think would have left me this special surprise?” They couldn’t think of anyone that could have done this nice deed. But they were also ecstatic for Devi and the mystery behind her Secret Santa.

____________________________

The first period bell rang loudly as Devi and the rest of her classmates settled in for another boring lecture by Mr. Shapiro. Being an AP history teacher, Mr. Shapiro pushed his students to think outside of the box. He enjoyed assigning group projects. Paxton had already partnered with Devi twice this semester which had given him a chance to spend more time with her, even if it was just to do schoolwork.

He had apologized to Devi previously for not contributing more to their project with the Bunkr App. She had done most of the work for the project and of course Mr. Shapiro knew it and that’s why only she got an “A” for the presentation. Paxton wanted to prove to her that he wasn’t a dumb jock. He knew the importance of working hard and being a committed team player.

Lately, Paxton was more focused in school with Devi’s help. He strove to be a better version of himself because of Devi. He deserved to get into a good college, and not only for his swimming abilities. He wanted so much more for his life. Paxton wanted to go to college and have a career. Devi told him “that everyone deserves to follow their dreams and reach their goals.”

Mr. Shapiro needed to put the class into to several groups for their next project. Mr. Shapiro divided the students by putting them groups by their “birthday months”. “The first six people with birthdays in January, February, March and April are in group one,” he stated. “Group two can have students with birthdays in May, June, July and August." "The final group can will have students with birthdays months ending in "ber”, he laughed out loud.

All the members of the first group were standing near each other and Devi immediately grabbed a hold of Eleanor and Fabiola since they had birthdays in February, March and April. Fab couldn’t help reach for Eve to be in the group too since Eve’s birthday was in April like hers.

The gods were looking after Paxton that day! His birthday was in January so he lucked out again since he was placed in the same group with Devi.

Eleanor asked, “Trent when is your birthday?” He answered with a big grin on his face, “ I guess I’m in your group too since my day is in March.”

Devi was so excited that she ended up in a group with her besties. Of course, Devi beamed with joy when she heard that Paxton was going to be in her group again! He too was excited about getting to spend more time with her.

The group had a week to complete this project and they all had to contribute to the presentation. No slackers allowed here! Only over-achievers welcome!

The group spent every day after school on the project. They even found themselves eating lunch together just to perfect their ideas. They started to get to know each other better. Not just their ideas, but stories about their lives.

Devi had the best stories to share with the group. She had Paxton and Trent laughing so much they had tears in their eyes. Devi was never embarrassed about her adventures, and her personality made everyone gravitate toward her.

Paxton was having such a wonderful time with everybody that he forgot they were doing schoolwork.

Devi was so busy working on this project that it did not occur to her that she hadn’t heard from her Secret Santa in a few days. This didn’t bother Devi since she was having a blast working with the gang, especially Paxton. The happiness she felt working with her friends made her forget that her dad was not around to share in her happiness.

_______________________

Mr. Shapiro gave the group project a “A+”. He said the creativity from this group was “spectacular”! A jealous Ben rolled his eyes at the compliments that his teacher and his fellow classmates gave the group.

Paxton was so excited! Not even Ben Gross’s expression could bring him down off the high he was riding. The group killed their presentation! They had the entire classroom cheering and laughing, but most of all they had presented the subject material well.

He was walking tall, head held high with his chest pumped up. He was so proud of this accomplishment. Paxton had never received such a grade before in his life. He wanted to celebrate this win with these amazing people. He thought to himself, “These awesome people are my friends!”

The rest of the school day, every time Trent and Paxton saw each other, they would do a funny fist bump dance together. It reminded Devi of an endzone touchdown dance minus the spiked football. Everytime Trent saw the Coyote Girl, he howled, which made Devi giggle and smile.

Devi was waiting for her English class to start when she noticed a text message on her phone, but she didn’t recognize the number.

All of sudden her face became flushed when she noticed the message was from her Secret Santa.

Her Secret Santa congratulated her for nailing the group assignment with flying colors. How did her Secret Santa know about the presentation? Could they have been in her very own history class?

News travels fast around Sherman Oaks High. The gossiping network in the school could do some amazing things!

Devi’s Secret Santa sent her a Spotify link to enjoy some holiday music. All of the songs on the playlist were chosen to help her remember the joy, cheer, and love during this time of the year. The text message read

CONGRATULATIONS ON A JOB WELL DONE ON YOUR GROUP PROJECT IN FACING HISTORY!

To: Devi

Presents, Snow and Mistletoe Playlist

Please enjoy some holiday musical selections to help spread love, happiness, joy, and cheer during this special time of the year.

Click on the Spotify link here to begin listening to “Presents, Snow and Mistletoe”

“There are love songs on this list!” exclaimed Devi. Could someone have romantic feelings for me? No way! She was excited to start listening to these professions of love and cheer. Devi still could not believe these songs that were specifically chosen for her!

Notes:

I know it’s a stretch about the song choice. I couldn’t find a Christmassy LOVE song with hot chocolate in it.

Hot chocolate and lingerie

Sweet kisses and rainy days

That mistletoe love can't explain it

Ornaments Make your eyes light up right away

Smile running across your face

That mistletoe love can't explain it so….- It’s You by Jordin Sparks

Thank you for continuing this journey with Devi and her Secret Santa! ❤❤❤