#Desirdae tips

[desirdae-archive]

Desirhikkikomori  coping tips (coming from a Hikkikomori :3)

Try to avoid going outside / in public as much as you can 

If your able to stop caring as much about how you look (as in wear pjs for most of the day, don’t make your bed, don’t brush your hair/style it if you can)

Start referring to yourself as a Hikkikomori online

Look at posts about being a Hikkikomori 

Do research into the history of hikkikomoris 

Make a hikkikomori oc / sona that you roleplay as !

Don’t face time / call friends as much. 

Talk to friends over social media or text instead of meeting IRL

Avoid crowded spaces / places 

Don’t talk to people as much. If you need to communicate do it via texting

Btw for those who don’t know Hikkikomori is just the name for those who experience extreme social withdrawal ^.^!! The term hikkikomori originated in Japan but it’s now used universally to describe this experience !!!

Being a hikkikomori is not inherently harmful but it can be if you stop eating / sleeping / ignoring higeine completely it can be !!

Please make sure to stay safe <3!

[desirtips]

Any desirfat/desirchubby tips? it's ok if not

This is not something I am entirely sure on the ethics of. There's a lot of nuance in what can be done especially because I do not know what your desired weight is and or what your body is able to handle.

Here's what I can come up with off the top of my head

• layer your clothes if you are comfortable with that

• Depending on what's possible and your body type, wear clothes that are a little tight on you

• Keep lots of things or heavy things in your pockets

• Exercising can make your body feel heavier afterwards

• Be sure to eat healthy!!

• Allow yourself to get tired and take breaks

• Spend time watching plus sized creators, listen to their community, speak up when you can

-?

[desirfictional]

desire2010s tips pleas ,, ? (leaning towards 2010-2014)

ofc! here you go:

♡ watch youtube videos from the 2010s (you can make a playlist to keep track of the videos you like to rewatch them)

♡ engage with media that was popular in the 2010s (and look back at old fanfiction from that time period if you want lol)

♡ look at and save a lot of memes from the 2010s

♡ play old games or older versions of games that were out during the 2010s

♡ wear fashion that was popular in the 2010s

♡ look back at old posts from the 2010s and try to mimic the typing style

♡ use a fake social media app like twinote or a private discord server and pretend its the 2010s (or you could even make a discord server with other people and you could all pretend its the 2010s in there)

[tipdaes]

hello, welcome, come on in!

[pt: hello, welcome, come on in!]

We’re the Tipdaes System (Not our actual system name!) we’re mixed origin and here to help people/nonpeople with Desirdae transition tips!

We do NOT support harmful/unethical transitioning and do not support the use of slurs by those who cannot reclaim them.

Meet the mods!

Mondae! - Selective mute irl, types ‘quietly’, functional role doing homework for the system, will probably be the default for anything cryptic or eldritch, very nice though dw! Uses he/she/they pronouns!

Tuesdae! - punk, system’s protector, anything that seems ‘punk’ to xem he’ll probably do, uses he/xe pronouns and will also probably be the most outspoken person.

Wednesdae! - She/they, only sharing 1 of my roles; diffuser, will do anything related to introjects and anything related to skills,  and desirage (Older/more mature), etc.

Mod Thursdae! - System Host, they/flux + fluctuating pronouns, will do anything alterhuman, any terms I already use, etc., I like to kiss Mod Fridae /unrelated. I will not do anything having to do with b*gs as they can trigger my paranoia and etc.

Mod Fridae! - System Co-host, she/they, I like to kiss Mod Thursdae! I will also do alterhuman terms, the more chaotic the more likely i’ll do it! 

Mod Saturdae! - System’s curacormate, they/them but (she/he and most neopronouns are accepted, PRN Blacklist?: anything ‘singular’), I’ll also do introject stuff, I’ll do anything based off of heroes/villains.

Mod Sundae! - Syskid with no role! I’ll do anything that gives off soft vibes and desirage (younger) tips. I use he/him sometimes and they/them other times. I will not do anything related to dogs due to my traumagenic origin with them.

if anything sounds familiar to you, please ignore, we’d prefer to stay anonymous!

How to request:

You can ask for a specific Mod or Mods if you so wish, if you do not then it’ll be self-assigned.

You can (and probably should) ask for a specific term, but you don’t necessarily need to.

Even if it’s someone else’s specialty if you request a specific mod then they will do it either way. The only exceptions for this rule are…

Mod Thurdae and b*gs, they will not do anything b*g related (censored: ‘*’ instead of ‘u’).

Mod Sundae and dogs, they will not do anything dog related (uncensored)

When requesting something you must put trigger warning for B*gs and dogs.

We will not do anything s3xual for our own safety, security, and comfortability.

We do userbox requests for Desirdae only!

Desirdae userbox horde:

Oops! None yet.

[desirdumb]

Since we're talking about Desirdae here, be sure to clarify you're looking for coping tips and not transitioning tips ^^

-> learn everything you can Abt Japanese culture

-> pinterest board or camera roll folder full of pictures

-> moodboards, drawing, writing, roleplay, etc

-> online dress up games or even paper dolls if you can't dress the way you want for any reason

-> sideblog dedicated to your loli identity (I don't reccomend a side blog relating to being Japanese)

-> fake social media apps

-> finding people with similar identities (desir(sfw)bimbo and desir(sfw)loli could be similar if you think so ^^)

-> music

I feel the need to tell y'all that I identify as a loli (technically desirloli+desirjapanese). Not, like, an NSFW loli (yk, cuz I'm a minor) but I wanna mention this cuz people have loli in their dni+I tend to make some more NSFW jokes. Anyways, does anyone have some desirjapanese+desirloli tips for someone who's host is Hispanic+easily dysphoric and loves being a ✨manly man✨ (most respectful way possible!!!!!)

[succuguron]

desirmos/desirmoris ⸺

a desirdae term for those who desire/yearn/want to be like/behave like a fictional character! this term is against "transitioning" (tips, subliminals, advice, etc) if harmful to oneself or others!

[desir, mos/moris]

for anon

[pixxiesticksys]

I think a big problem with a lot of the people complaining about Desirdae is that they're just like. Expecting from us.

Like. As someone who experiences atypical dysphoria, I should be allowed to say "I want a word that describes my experience." Just because you don't want that doesn't mean that your want us finite. Quite frankly, I don't fucking care want you want. I want a word that describes MY experience

(bolded words I and My)

And some of you guys are being way too holierthanthou about this. This whole thing has existed for what. A fucking month? If that? Of course people who want to have one are going to hop onto make or find a word that fits their experience. I made words that fit my experience.

The transid community has existed and evolved for fucking years and you guys are comparing it to a newborn subject trying to find it's place in the world. Nearly everything the community is at this point is words to describe things and pretty pictures and people are getting pissy because we aren't fucking philosophers. I'm so so sorry that my coining post for a fucking word did not have in depth every little detail of what is and isn't okay in my holy opinion as the only person who is ever right.

So WHAT if a fucking coining post doesn't have every single way to transition ever or in depth explanation of what transitions are harmful or a 15 page pamphlet on ethics and morality and how nuanced that shit is. It's a fucking coining post. It's a flag and a word to describe an experience felt by an individual it isn't the fucking holy word of your specific God.

I am sure that desirdae help blogs will pop up. I will gladly make a desirdae help blog of my own, if anyone wants that just let me know! I'm literally in the process of creating the desirdae discord server and one of the biggest reasons I wanted to create this was so that we could communicate. So that we could talk about tips for transition and discuss ethics and nuances. Try to help label what is and isn't okay and what is more in depth than that. Try to find workarounds for transition that is harmful. I'm (NOT??) sorry that this community didn't spawn in with every single little thing done in the way YOU want it done. Maybe instead of getting on your little blog and complaining, YOU make the posts discussing the ethics of transitioning for certain terms.

Whining and calling us self hating radqueers literally just shows how little of a say you should have in this in the first place ! You canNOT be a radqueer without identifying yourself as a radqueer

And since we're already here, why don't we just take a poll

We ALL are JUST fucking beings on TUMBLR of all places. And we're all just beings with REAL lives OFF of Tumblr too! This discord server would be going by so much faster if I wasn't sick out of my mind, but that's not where I am in life. Some of us have jobs, school, Important events, disability, disorders, inspections or tests or whatever the hell else. Not everyone alive has the time to make this community fucking pitch perfect in a month! We're doing what we can day by day. No perfection comes in a day. Or a month. Perfect is not fucking possible, it's not real

The newborn community needs time to move past the coin flags and be represented stage. But If you wanted to see something else from it, all you had to do was ask.

@desirdae-archive can we get a boost for that poll there?

[desirdaehearth]

Welcome.

Desirdaehearth is a blog dedicated to providing advice, tips and other support to the desirdae community. ❣️

Links: desirdae coining post.

My tag for reblogs of helpful information is "#advice/info : rb"

Credits: psd. dividers.

desirdae is a term which is strictly against forms of transition* that cause harm to oneself or others. that's what this (and other help blogs!) Is for, in part: to provide desirdae individuals with advice for nonharmful transition* if they so wish.

* i use the term transition here for simplicity. what i mean by this is forms of moving towards one's desired things. for example, a term like desirautism is typically used by autistic people. it is used by those who experience imposter syndrome with their symptoms, who want to unmask, who are unable to obtain a formal diagnosis but wish to, etc. so moving towards the desire could involve: assuring oneself that autistic people are all different, telling loved ones about one's autism & seeking support, allowing oneself to stim freely, etc. It does not involve a non-autistic person acting in ways stereotypical of autism in order to 'become' autistic.

Apologies for the length. I just want to provide clarity. ❣️

[desirefortips]

Hi there! I am Nana and I use Shey/Fey pronouns and my main blog is @mogainursesoffice.

This is my blog for where I provide tips to help those who are desirdae! I take requests but will not answer any asks related to harmed/harmful terms for my own comfort!

[recovering-radqueers]

"Recovering Radqueer" using transabled and transharm

Anonymous sent: I'm a "recovering radqueer" but I still use transIDs, even the "harmful" ones like transabled and transharmed/ful. They're the only words that meaningfully describe my experience. The anti-transition stance of Dissomei just doesn't work for me when I fully intend to remove an eye and I know nobody in that community would approve. I want to get away from the radqueer community but they are the only ones who will accept me. Every anti-radqueer blog I talk to just spits slurs and tells me to kill myself over my identity. Do you have any advice? Other labels that aren't anti-transition? Blogs that are pro-transID but anti radqueer that I can interact with to separate myself from all the abusers in the RQC?

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that you've been told to kill yourself. I don't believe anyone deserves that and that's not fair to you.

I can absolutely understand wanting to still use transIDs, and the reasons you gave definitely are common. It sounds like you have some serious intentions, and while obviously I don't want anyone to harm themselves in general, I do also acknowledge that serious dysphoria makes it feel unavoidable. It reminds me a lot, in fact, of people with BID who have performed self amputation. At the end of the day, everyone deserves a chance to be happy - so don't worry, no judgement on that end.

Whether or not your wants/needs are understood by others, it’s important to honor that you’re experiencing something very real that makes you feel connected to these identities. The language you use to describe your experience doesn’t have to come from a bigoted/harmful place. It does suck, though, when it feels like there aren't exactly the right words to describe your identity. :(

Identity-wise:

Some people do genuinely use "transabled" in a 100% good-faith, non-radqueer-associated way. As far as I'm aware, this originated in the BID community, so if it's possible you may fit that disorder's criteria, you could switch to identifying as that. A 100% good-faith, non-radqueer-associated way transabled person. There's even a pride flag for this by antiradqueer if you like.

I recently heard of the term "dysfirming" to be a substitute for "transitioning" that applies to some atypical dysphoria-influenced identities. I don't know if this would be a helpful term?

I would suggest looking into communities focused on body mods, body autonomy, trauma recovery, and identity exploration. Find forums, Discords, Subreddits, etc, and see if it's a space you can vibe with. I think you could potentially find some people who think similarly to you. If you want me to specifically look and link you to some places, feel free to send another ask.

Dissomei as a term actually isn't anti transition! You can see a couple of quotes from the creator on this page, and one mentions that even amputations are accepted. Of course, it'll always be up to you what term you want to use.

Desirdae (Coining post)

Sensus (Coining post)

If you can do some introspection and try to pin down why you identify as any transharmful labels, it might be helpful. For example, if you wanted people to see you as dangerous, maybe a presentation label related to danger/violence, or perspesque (coining post). If it's paraphila-related, maybe Paraphikitós/Paramenos (coining post).

Intenxper (Coining post)

-vior (Coining post)

Archetrope (Tag)

Neurowiry (Coining post)

Enviren (Coining post)

Also general tips:

Find a therapist if you haven't already. I know, you've probably heard "get therapy!!!" a lot, haha, but I don't mean "get into therapy so they can make you stop identifying the way that you do". A truly good therapist would be someone you can trust to talk about how you feel and that includes being transID. And they could also direct you to any local IRL groups that might be good places to hang out!

Phew, sorry my response was so long! Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck! Please feel free to send another ask for follow-ups, specific advice, or just to say hi, okay?

-Mod Ally🍄

[mogainursesoffice]

Go check out my desirdae tips blog @desirefortips

[desirdae-archive]

Got any tips for any tips for Desirgodcomplex?

Desirgodcomplex tips 

Ignore others critiques/criticism , act as if it does not affect you 

Roleplay as a god/deity online

Start giving yourself affirmations about how amazing you are 

Try and start viewing yourself as a god/diety and others as mortals as opposed to viewing them as the same as yourself 

Use very formal language even in informal settings

Use unnecessarily fancy/“intellectual” words 

Refrain from swearing much 

Please make sure to be safe and not hurt anyone else !!

These tips are not supportive of treating others as your servants and verbally abusing others !!

hopefully these tips will be helpful ^.^??!

[desirtips]

tips for desirnativelanguage? i've already been learning it for several months now but it still feels weird if that makes sense

• Speak your desired language almost solely when you are at home or alone

• Slip words from your desired language into any other language you speak

• Put the languages you speak in your bio or intro post and list your desired one first

• When reading or watching a video in a language that is not your desired language, try to translate that into it for yourself

• Research! Make sure you learn jokes and understand phrases and sayings

• Engage in media in the language you are desiring

Any tip to help learn a language will help here. You cant transition into having a different native language, but you can become fluent in a second language and make the conscious effort to use that one more. Good luck

[desirfictional]

desirbite tips that dosent involve another being?

ofc, here you go:

♡ bite a pillow, stuffed animal, shirt, chew toy, etc (make sure its clean!)

♡ when you eat foods, bite them very hard (be sure to pick foods that wont hurt your teeth if you bite them really hard)

♡ chew on harder foods (like suckers or peppermints) or ice

♡ lightly bite yourself on the arm or somewhere else that it wont hurt (dont bite too hard, make sure not to break the skin at all)

♡ make biting motions with your mouth when you arent chewing anything

♡ if youre desirbitten you can also draw bite marks on yourself or lightly bite yourself (or buy plastic vampire teeth and use those to mimic being bitten)

[headmategen]

hi there, we currently have no system name but we collectively go by zey&/zem& and you&/your& plural pronouns with the names wish, lunar, or moonlight! on this account we will post headmate packs- you can give suggestions if you want, but theres no guarantee we'll do them because taking requests for this kind of thing stresses us out.

we are bodily an adult and are transmasc, gay, and polyamorous with ADHD, autism, DID, NPD, hypersexuality, and bipolar disorder. we are anti-radqueer and anti-transid, and ask that radqueer/transid folks or supports not interact at all because it makes us very uncomfortable. we are also wishqueer so please DNI if you dont agree with that!

the base we use in our posts for headmate faceclaims was created by @ghosting-emojis so thank you so much to them for making those bases!

about us individually (once again using fake warrior cat names for privacy reasons):

rivermoon: he/it + any ocean or night related neopronouns

crowdapple: he/it/ix

aurorastar: it/ix/god/moon/celest/cloud/star/nova/sky/rain/wing/deity

foxskip: he/pup/yip/play/loyal/paw/tail/fox/sea/purr/fluff/wag/prin/cub

finshine: he/it/fin/mer/sea/tide/splash/glow/wave/shark

check out our desirdae transitioning tips account @desirfictional also!

[cuntryhuman]

yes, and the issue is because of how loose it is, as of right now every term ive seen that is akin to harm[ed/ful] is extremely needing to transition, as with all desirdae posts ive seen frankly. i saw one, ill try to find it again, but it was an expansion of desirharm[ed/ful], in where it gave transition tips, of which one was to seek out the ed/ful counterpart to help eachother transition. I will also say my post was more so about the community and the fact we have become pretty bad ourselves with many of the alternate transID terms, in my opinion i think we should simply refer to it as atypical dysphoria around xyz, as i feel the creation of the labels will end ep snowballing or being hyjacked by the radqueers.

desirdaes entire concept is being a transitioning counterpart to dissomei, yes? while also being antirq, yet we accept the labels of desirharm[ed/ful] , which kind of defeats the whole purpose, it's become transIDs reskinned, and frankly i feel like this is reflecting the anti community overall, i feel like the communities just reskinned it and used the " but were not pro-xyz" while the labels mean almost the same thing, with the only difference really being the name and a very thinly veiled "transition without harm" which after a certain point isn't possible, and yet we let and accept the ones like harmed/harmful thrive, when there is no way to transition to them with out harm. there is a point where the community recreated the transIDs. The way we've did it [in my opinion] is honestly worse, as it ignores itself, desirharm[ed/ful] are such contradictions, but are defended because of its prefix when its simply the same thing, there are many harmful labels we've created and we excuse it with the simple idea that it is different because we coined it.