#Defense World Staff
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biglisbonnews · 1 year ago
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EDP – Energias de Portugal (OTCMKTS:ELCPF) Stock Price Up 1.2% EDP – Energias de Portugal, S.A. (OTCMKTS:ELCPF – Get Free Report) rose 1.2% during mid-day trading on Friday . The stock traded as high as $4.62 and last traded at $4.50. Approximately 12,083 shares were traded during mid-day trading, an increase of 251% from the average daily volume of 3,439 shares. The stock had previously […] https://www.defenseworld.net/2023/09/16/edp-energias-de-portugal-otcmktselcpf-stock-price-up-1-2.html
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugl#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fuckin#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half o#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like…#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jf#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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deadpresidents · 8 months ago
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"What emerged in two interviews with Trump, and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisers and confidants, were the outlines of an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world. To carry out a deportation operation designed to remove more than 11 millions people from the country, Trump told me, he would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military, both at the border and inland. He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress, according to top advisers. He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney who doesn't carry out his order to prosecute someone, breaking with a tradition of independent law enforcement that dates from America's founding. He is weighing pardons for every one of his supporters accused of attacking the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, more than 800 of whom have pleaded guilty or been convicted by a jury. He might not come to the aid of an attacked ally in Europe or Asia if he felt that country wasn't paying enough for its own defense. He would gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen."
-- "How Far Would He Go", TIME Magazine's interviews with Donald Trump, April 30, 2024.
I know we're saturated in coverage of Trump and it's easy (and probably better for our mental health) to usually ignore most of the articles when we see them, especially since he's so full of shit and infuriating. But it's also important to recognize that he is going to be the Republican nominee for President and he could absolutely be elected in November, and if you thought his first term was scary and dangerous, you need to understand that in a second term he's going to have people around him that are better prepared and VERY willing to do the crazy shit that he wants to do to this country. They aren't even hiding the fact that they are seeking vengeance against political opponents whom they feel have wronged them, and are ready to fundamentally dismantle the democratic foundations that are barely holding this country together after nearly 250 years.
Just look at what Trump says about the people who he incited to attack the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and halt the peaceful transfer of power that has happened every four years since 1789:
"Trump has sought to recast an insurrectionist riot as an act of patriotism. 'I call them the J-6 patriots,' he say. When I ask whether he would consider pardoning every one of them, he says, 'Yes, absolutely.' As Trump faces dozens of felony charges, including for election interference, conspiracy to defraud the United States, willful retention of national-security secrets, and falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments, he has tried to turn legal peril into a badge of honor."
Oh, and please note that Trump -- a former President of the United States and possible future President of the United States -- said on the record in these interviews with TIME: "There is a definite antiwhite feeling in the country and that can't be allowed either." We are at a point where political leaders are outright saying that in this country again, and it's because of Donald Trump.
So, take the time to recognize that Trump is straight-up telling us the country we're going to be living in if he wins again in November. And understand that your vote matters -- and WHO you vote for matters -- because, as I've been saying for years now, ELECTIONS HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES.
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luveline · 7 months ago
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Oooooo carmy request: him being jealous of readers friendship w richie cos they re like buddys and he thinks she doesn't like him cos shes not like that w him
—you realise what Carmy wants from you. fem, 1.4k
Richie isn’t technically an upstanding citizen, but he’s a good guy. 
“I’m telling you, sweetheart, you just need to be more aggressive.” 
You’re sitting on a stool behind the counter filling the ketchup and mayonnaise bottles with the huge ones from the walk-in. Richie isn’t doing much of anything, which is fine by you; he’s good entertainment for a shitty job. 
“I don’t want to be more aggressive, I want people to be nicer.” 
“We don’t get what we want,” he mutters. 
You frown expressively. “Aw, baby, we don’t get what we want. You don’t get what you want, huh?” 
“What’s your problem?” he asks, though he laughs brightly. “You’re the fucking baby. You’re not doing that right.” 
You point at your extremely slow drip of ketchup. “No, you think? I know I’m doing it wrong, Richie. Doing it right is a lot of arm effort. Have you seen my arms?” 
“You’ve got muscle.” Richie lifts your arm up by the wrist. “Flex. Flex your arm.” 
“I’m flexing. You can’t see that?” 
“What are you guys doing?” Carmy asks. 
He comes up behind Richie and they’re almost twins. Not in appearance —Carmy’s lighter facially and broader physically— but in stance, their mussed up aprons and the rags on their shoulders a uniform. 
You flex. “Weight training.” 
Richie drops your arm. “I’m showing her how to fill the sauce bottles.” 
“And you didn’t know how to do that?” Carmy asks you. 
“I’m the one that taught Richie.” You absolutely didn’t teach Richie how to do it, that much is obvious. Richie laughs heartily, and Carmy frowns, and you realise that Richie thinks you’re both laughing at Carmy, which isn’t what was happening. Not totally. 
It’s hard to navigate The Beef without Mikey; Carmy is nothing like his brother, and Richie’s an asshole. 
Carmy nods at you. You’re worried his lip is gonna curl like it does when he’s mad and you’re gonna get told to do something you’re uninterested in, but it’s Richie who gets punished. “Can you finish Sydney’s prep?” 
“Why can’t she do it?” 
“Her stomach thing. It’s just onions.” 
Richie wants to argue, but can’t. He’s paid a wage to work. “Fine. But tell Syd I’m not her gopher.” 
Richie saunters away. 
“He’s not her gopher,” you tease when he’s out of earshot, to Carmy’s surprised delight. “God, Carm, don’t you know anything?” 
Your Richie impression isn’t your best. Carmy must enjoy it, still smiling to himself as his attention is turned to the register, where he begins wiping down the keys. 
“Is that really the way to do that?” he asks, gesturing to your sauce bottles. 
You’ve turned the cap upside down, feeding sauce into the bottle one drip at a time. It would be quicker to remove the cap entirely and pour straight from the big bottle, but that sometimes requires three hands, the big jugs are that heavy. 
“Despite what you might think, Carm, I’ve thought it through.” 
“You sure?” 
You could get defensive. When Carmy first took over the restaurant, you thought, What the fuck, Mikey. Leave your shithole restaurant to your world class brother and get your entire roster of staff fired in one fell swoop. But Carmy never fired you, hasn’t cut your hours, doesn’t treat you like an asshole. He is a jerk, that much is certain during busy dinner service, but he has yet to take it too far. (Ish.)
So you won’t defend your laziness, or expect him to like it. You get up from your stool and turn the cap right side up, tapping what’s yet to drip through the spout into the bottle. You set the cap aside, and you uncap the big ketchup to decant sauce until the bottle is full. 
Carmy glances at you from the corner of your eye. He looks at you, looks away again. 
You think he might like you. In the don’t have a choice, grown on him like moss way. He gets cagey when you and Richie are having fun, and he stares altogether too much, but he can be pretty when he’s smiling (or really yelling) and he has nice hands, and nice arms. He has a nice way of saying things. You don’t mind his attention.
There have been worse bosses to want to push you up against a wall. 
Not that you think Carmy could. He whines like a bitch at you for stupid shit, but Carmen Berzatto shoving you into a wall for a rough kiss? That’s never gonna happen. 
And yet… his frown tells a different story. 
“Why do you get so weird about me and Richie?” you ask. 
“I don’t get weird about you and Richie.” 
You open the mayonnaise bottle and set the cap aside. “He’s nicer than you think.” 
“Yeah?” He sounds vaguely depressed, which isn’t uncharacteristic. Seriousness colours his voice with a strange charm. “I’ll take your word for it.” 
“He is, he makes me laugh. He makes sure I eat, he shouts at guys when they’re mean to me.” 
“Who’s mean to you?” 
“Carmy.” You give up on the mayonnaise and wipe your hands down your apron, to his ire. You’d prefer not to smell like egg and oil during this conversation, but it’s better than smelling like burnt chicken, sort of. “Richie’s a nice guy, whether you agree or not.” 
“That’s great, I’m glad he’s so nice to you.” He sounds angry now, but he’s stuck as you are —walking away is losing. 
You really don’t get it. “Is he not supposed to be nice to me?” you ask. 
“He can do what he wants. You can do what you want.”
You laugh, and hope to diffuse the situation with a joke, “Okay, thanks for your permission, Chef.” 
“Fuck off.” 
He sounds less tense, but not fixed. And you might find it harder to keep up with him, constantly wanting to impress him, knowing you can’t, but you’re not out of touch. You aren’t a huge dick. 
Carmy beats you to it. “I was kidding, about the bottles. You can do it how you want.” 
“I wasn’t offended.” 
“But you don’t– with Richie, you– I don’t know what I’m doing wrong with you.” 
You look him up and down, lengths of his arms, tattoos and the cut over his elbow. His clean t-shirt, his neck, the strong line of his nose and his bright eyes. 
“You’re not doing anything wrong,” you say, smiling at him, knowing your expression says lots of weird stuff. 
Working here in the kitchen makes a busy atmosphere normal. Richie’s telling a story at the top of his lungs, Angel’s swearing about a dropped plate, knives scratch on boards and ovens hum. Being overwhelmed is something you’re good at, and big feelings don’t scare you. 
“You’re jealous of Richie?” you ask, playfully pitying. “Get it together.” 
“Fuck off,” he says again. 
“Seriously? Richie Jerimovich. He’s telling Tina a story right now about how the last date he went on ended with her asking if he’d ever been abducted by aliens.” 
“I’m not jealous of Richie.” 
“No, I don’t think you are,” you say, taking a step too close, and refusing to take the step back. 
Carmy doesn’t look mad anymore. 
You wonder if anybody’s ever held his hand. You used to think he must’ve had a ton of girlfriends, he got so famous everywhere he went, but… He looks like he’s never been this close to someone before. Like you’re making him nervous. 
“Me and Richie are friends,” you say quietly. “Is that what you want us to be?” 
His hand twitches at his side. 
“There, cousin, I cut the fucking onions. You happy?” Richie asks, and laughs as he steps back out to the front of house, unaware of the tension. “That’d be the day, right?” 
“Yes, Richie, I’m happy you did your job. Thank you.” 
“Was that hard for you, baby?” you ask Richie with a pout. “Here, let me kiss your poor hands.” 
Richie gives you the bird with both of them. 
You look to Carmy. Making fun of Richie together isn’t quite as good as holding hands, but you hope it’s a start. 
Carmy catches on, can’t hide his grin, “There’s tylenol in the office if you need it, cousin.”  
“Are your wrists feeling tender?” you prompt. “Or is that motion one you’re used to?” 
Carmy laughs and the sound takes on the shape of his smile, nearly giddy. 
“Fuck both of you.” 
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typheus · 2 years ago
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hey! not gonna give my 2 cents on the situation or anything but i did want to give u some clarification on why the spin-off is on s2 and the other one hasnt even gotten a proper ep 1 yet: the main show was picked up by a studio and the spin-off is self published. they dont have control over the production or release schedule like they do w the spin-off :)
aah i see thank you for clarifying that, i knew the show got picked up by a big production company but thats p much all i knew about it till this week 😅 (kinda wish it had stayed that way!)
but the second show being self published does kinda explain why theyre being so overly defensive of it. but also that level of closeness to the project is all the more reason for them to stay away from twitter tbh :/
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bet-on-me-13 · 1 year ago
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The Villains Daughter
So! Years ago, back when the Justice League was only just starting out, only a year or two after their initial team-up, they had one of their biggest battles to date. A group of Extra-Dimensional Beings had burst into their reality, hellbent on destroying a Government Facility and the nearby small town in Illinois.
They barely managed to beat the Invading Army back, although the Government Facility and a part of the nearby Town had been destroyed in the battle.
Later, they would learn about what had happened. Apparently the Government Base, called a GIW Facility, had managed to finally Crack the secret to Interdimensional Travel a few days earlier. Unfortunately, they had opened a Portal into a Dimension known as the Ghost Zone, ruled over by a Tyrant King who wanted to enslaved all world under him. Their Breaching of the GZ had alerted the Tyrant King to the existence of their Dimension, and he had launched an immediate Invasion to try and take it over.
And the evidence supported this.
Wonder Woman shared Legends of her People, telling that their Founding Ancestor had fled the rule of a Tyrant King when she passed into the Afterlife.
Zatara shared his Magic Tomes, showing them passages detailing the horrific Rule of the Tyrant King of the Infinite Realms.
They even asked Boston Brand, the Deadman and resident Ghost about it. He hadn't been the the Ghost Zone in Years, but even he told them that he had personally fled the Tyrant King.
And they also learned that when the Tyrant King set his eyes on something, he did not falter on his Warpath to acquire it. The Tyrant King, Pariah Dark, would be back for their World, again and again.
And they needed to be prepared. This Battle was what kickstarted their true Commitment to the idea of a Team. They knew they could not defeat Pariah Dark alone, so they needed to remain as a Team.
But there was another thing that came about from the Battle.
While the JLA had been helping clean up, Wonder Woman came across a strange sight. A Baby had been left in the rubble of the GIW Building.
She asked around, investigated, and did all she could to find the babies parents. At first she thought that one of the GIW Agents had brought their kid to work that day, but their records indicated that none of the Agents had children of that Age. And Neither did any of the other workers who worked on the base, like the Janitors or the Kitchen Staff. And of they did, all of their children were accounted for.
She eventually came to the conclusion that the Baby must belong to somebody in the nearby Town, but that lead led nowhere either.
She finally came to the conclusion that the Baby's parents must have died in the Invasion, a very unfortunate but very real possibility. She was going to place her into the System, but over the course of her investigation she had grown fond of the Child.
She decided to Adopt the baby herself. She didn't know the child's name, so she had to come up with a new one.
"How do you like the name, Stella?"
The baby gurgled in delight.
...
Over the next decade of their Teams Existence, the Justice League had to fend off the Legions of the Ghost King's Army many more times. It seemed that Pariah had grown wise to the fact that they were the ones defending the Human Realm, as almost all of the later attacks were directed on them personally.
It made sense, they were the First Line of Defense against his Armies, if he managed to defeat them, their World would soon fall.
But they dealt with the attacks as they came. They had made it their mission to defend their Home from the Forced of Pariah Darks Army, and they would not falter now, or ever.
In the case of Wonder Woman, he Daughter had grown to be a fine little lady. Stella had eventually developed Powers similar to her mother, in that she could fly and had super strength, and had begged to be trained as a Hero.
And who was Diana to deny her Daughter her greatest wish? Over the next 5 years, Diana trained Stella in the ways of the Amazon's. Then, when Stella was 15, she had her join the newly formed Young Justice.
She made a great group of friends on that Team, and even started going by Ellie as a Nickname. Her best friend was by far Conner, though she didn't know why she felt such a strong connection to him? It felt like she could relate to him, but her situation was completely different?
Ah well, her Mom wouldn't mind having another kid, would she? She always wanted a Brother!
...
Meanwhile in the Ghost Zone, the Ghost King was getting anxious. After 15 years, his Agents in the Human Realm had finally managed to set up the Ritual needed to Summon Him into the Human Realm.
Who knew that accepting the Ghost King's Throne would bar him from entering the Human Realm through normal Means? He couldn't even use the Portal, he needed to be summoned or he simply wouldn't be able to leave his new home dimension.
But now, it was almost time. Just another year or two, and he would finally be able to enter the Human Realm. He would finally be able to Find Her. His Daugther.
Danny would finally be able to reunite with his daughter, Ellie.
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yelenasbraid · 4 months ago
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home to me — joe burrow
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summary — bengals are now 0-3, and joe couldn’t feel worse about it. luckily, you’re there to help pick up his broken pieces
warnings — fem!reader, major angst, fluff, crying joey (SORRY)
note — surprise! and don’t come after me!
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YOU WATCH WITH AN ACHING HEART the last 4 seconds of the game. you wished so badly for a miracle, for an interception, for something to turn that 33 into anything higher than a 38. offense looked great, defense? you could do better than they did without the padding.
that was your bitterness talking.
you filed out of the stadium and down to where you usually met joe; outside the locker room. you knew that this wasn’t going to be the celebration you hoped for. you knew that joe wasn’t going to have that boyish grin on his face, and it broke your heart. you felt like you haven’t seen joe smile in weeks.
you stood there, anxiously swaying as you watched player after player shuffle in from the field. those who noticed you gave you a small, sad smile. others kept going, angry at themselves and at the world.
joe appeared at the end of the crowd of players, as he usually did, with his head down. his shoulders sagged, but it wasn’t until he looked up and locked eyes with you that you saw everything.
joe was devastated, and rightfully so.
he parted from the staff member and walked over to you, a small pep in his step as he did so. no words were spoken as he threw his arms around you, bringing you as close as he could get you. you embraced him back, cradling his head as he nuzzled into your neck.
he’s never done this before, even after a win. for joe to express this level of emotion right after a game was unusual. it worried you, but maybe you were overthinking. you hoped you were.
joe separated from you, sniffling and keeping the tears at bay. you held onto his hands and watched him with a worried eye.
“i’m fine,” he answered your silent question. you knew he wasn’t, and he knew that you knew. that much was obvious.
“ok,” you hummed, but that’s all you were going to say right now. you didn’t believe him, and he knew that. joe gave you a single look, his eyes opening a gateway into his heart, the depth of his sadness. he was beating himself up, and pretty badly too.
“i might be a minute, go on home. i’ll see you later,” he told you. driving separately wasn’t abnormal, sometimes you had to. especially if it was an away game. what was odd was the way he seemed to stick around, unable to move his feet.
“ok, i love you,” you reminded him. his face softened, letting your words permeate through the tension in his chest. he just needed to make it through the press conference.
“i love you,” he replied. he gave you a lingering kiss on the forehead before he stepped away. he didn’t want to, though. he wanted to stay where it was safe, where it was comfortable. he wanted to stay with you because he didn’t have to explain himself. somehow, you always knew.
you were showered and in your pajamas by the time joe got home. you sat on the couch, blanket draped over your legs and your phone in your hands. you saw the comments, the videos of disappointed fans. you saw the posts all about how much of an upset the loss was. the more you read on, the more you realized that the fans didn’t think joe was at fault. they’d be right, it wasn’t his fault.
your eyes flicked up from your phone as joe made his way further into the house. his footsteps are heavy, as is the rest of his body. he’s exhausted, and there’s only a thread keeping him from falling apart.
“babe?” you called out to him, and he slowly turned his eyes towards you. his eyes were puffy, his face was red; did he cry in the car on the way home? silence met your questioning tone, but it did stop him in his tracks.
usually after a bad game, or a loss, joe needed space. he’d trudge up to his office and stay there for a few hours, pouring over film and noting strategies they needed to try next time. he was still going to do those things, but tonight was different. you knew it was the second he hugged you like he did after the game.
“i’m fine,” he replied, his voice breaking. joe didn’t like crying, in fact, he hated it. but he grew used to it, learning that just because he cried didn’t mean he was any less or he was weak. it took him a while for him to trust you with that vulnerability, but once he did, the flood gates couldn’t be locked tight for long.
“you’re not,” you hummed softly. he knew he wasn’t, and he wasn’t trying hard enough to hide it. he screwed his eyes shut, trying to make the tears go away, but all it did was make his eyes burn more.
“don’t run away from me, don’t shut me out,” you stood up from your spot on the couch, slowly walking over to him. he was battling himself as he stood there, tears sliding down his raw cheeks. his mind was waging a war against him, telling him lies about himself and about how he played.
“why?” he asked you.
“why what?”
“i’ve lost three games, and i’ve treated you horribly after two of them. why are you still with me?” he voiced his vulnerability, his fear. his heart told him you wouldn’t leave him because of a losing streak, but the malicious whispers in his mind told him a different story.
“one, you apologized to me and we talked about it,” you started, “secondly, joey, i’m still with you because you are the love of my life. you’re there to pick me up when i’m down, you’re able to make me laugh, you’ve helped me put pieces of myself back together that you didn’t break in the first place. you’re protective, and you’re a fighter, that’s why i’m with you and will always be with you,” you finished, peering into his eyes. you saw your words sink in and start to meld him back together, but it wasn’t enough.
“i’ve lost three games, three. no matter how hard i fight, no matter how well i think i did, i can’t seem to win a damn game!” joe spoke through gritted teeth, his hands going through his hair. he’s frustrated, he’s angry, and he’s beating himself up. he’s not blaming the team, he’s blaming himself.
“all of these people, all of the fans, you, i’ve disappointed them. i’ve disappointed you, i promised myself that i was going to bring home a superbowl ring, for both of us, and if we keep losing-”
“stop, joey,” you interrupted his spiral with a soft hand to his chest. he’s panting, out of breath from the amount of anxiety he’s giving himself.
“listen to me, look at me,” you tilt his chin so his eyes meet yours, feeling the soft starts of scruff against your finger tips, “you did not disappoint me, and you most certainly didn’t disappoint the fans watching you tonight. you played well, you made decisive plays, you were quick to release the ball. you did your job and did it well. and you will get that super bowl ring, i believe that, and so do you. you’ve beat the odds before, you’ve showed the world to never underestimate joe burrow, the small town kid from athens, ohio. so, show them again. show them what this kid can do,” you went on, shining light on the things that made joe joe.
“i’ve failed that kid,” he whispered, afraid to say it out loud. he’s fought so hard his whole life, and he still fought. joe’s never given up and he doesn’t plan on it, but the anger hasn’t settled in yet. the vengeance hasn’t taken root yet.
“no, no love you didn’t, you haven’t. you didn’t fail him when you tore your acl, you didn’t fail him when you went to the superbowl, you didn’t fail him when you went to the afc championship, you didn’t fail him amidst the injuries and the doubts. that kid would do anything to play football, and that’s exactly what you’re doing,” you told him, cradling his cheek with your hand. you could see the crack in his hard exterior, the way his blue eyes showed the depths of his soul. you could see glimpses of baby joey, the anxiety that ran deep, that threatened to take hold.
when joe looked at you, that anxiety slithered away. it tucked its tail and ran; you were his god given solace. he felt at home, he felt the warmth and the safety that radiated off of you.
“what did i do to deserve you?” he asked, melting into your touch.
“absolutely nothing,” you replied. you took his hand, guiding him back to the couch. you sat down, resting your back against the arm rest. you didn’t have to offer him, joe just found himself laying against your chest, his arms wrapped around you. you wrapped your arms around him, kissing the top of his head and threading your fingers through his frosted tips.
“i’m so proud of you, you know that?” you asked.
“i do,” he replied. he melted into you, relaxing against the feeling of your fingers against his scalp and your steady heartbeat in your chest.
“panthers don’t stand a chance,” he mumbled against your chest, making you laugh.
“show em who’s boss, baby,” you chuckled. joe would always come home to you, which wasn’t always physically. sure, home was a place, but it was also a person. you were his home, and he was home as long as he was with you.
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i wrote this in one sitting!!! it took some editing and some rethinking, but i’m pretty proud of it! this may not be totally accurate joe but whatevs. enjoy this lovely, angsty piece!
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reiding-writing · 3 months ago
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Can i get a workshop session? How about spencer with a reader who's actually smarter than him? Maybe she's younger too, thanksss
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GENIUS² — SPENCER REID!
working alongside another genius was a blessing, in more ways than one.
early!seasons!spencer x reader | fluff | 1.3k | event masterlist.
main masterlist.
a/n— the genius x genius trope is great i love it
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Spencer Reid prided himself on being one of the smartest people in the room.
At 24 years old, he was a genius with an IQ of 187, three PhDs under his belt, and an eidetic memory that made him practically a walking encyclopaedia.
His mind moved faster than 99.7% of the world’s population, processing information, analysing patterns, and solving puzzles with ease.
But none of that prepared him for you.
You were younger than him by two years, and while you didn’t have a wall lined with degrees like Spencer, your intelligence was undeniable.
A bachelor’s degree in Theoretical Physics had been enough to earn you a spot in the BAU, something that had surprised even you.
Hotch had seen something in you—your ability to not only understand the unsub’s behavior but to intuitively connect pieces of information in ways most people couldn’t. It was something the team found invaluable.
And it didn’t take long for Spencer to notice.
Where Spencer excelled in academic brilliance, you had a talent for thinking outside the box. You connected dots faster than most people even realized there were dots to connect.
Spencer was used to being the one with all the answers, the one who could solve problems others struggled with, but you? You were different. You weren’t afraid to speak up, even if it meant contradicting his carefully constructed theories. You didn’t care about bruising egos, least of all his, and it fascinated him.
The first time Spencer realised you were special was during a particularly tough case.
The team had been chasing down a serial killer for weeks—a cryptic unsub who left strange, undecipherable messages at each crime scene.
Spencer had spent hours poring over the notes, scrawling down numbers, symbols, and trying to make sense of the pattern, but nothing clicked. His frustration was palpable; his fingers were tapping restlessly on the desk, and his usually sharp mind felt like it was hitting a wall.
An iron wall, covered in spikes and barbed wire.
Then you had walked in. Quietly, unassuming, you hovered over his shoulder for a moment before making a suggestion that cut through his fog of confusion.
“You might be thinking about this too literally,” You said casually, your voice breaking through the silence.
Spencer looked up, frowning slightly, both intrigued and a bit defensive. “What do you mean?”
You slid into the chair next to him, your eyes scanning the pages spread out across his desk. “You’re trying to solve this like a mathematical puzzle, but uh— the letters in the corners of his notes are literally just spelling out ‘library’, so I went to the nearest library and spoke to the librarian on staff, she gave me this,”
You pull out a scrap piece of paper from your pocket and hold it out towards him, a handwritten poem.
Spencer blinked, the pieces clicking together in his mind with almost audible force as he took the poem from you.
You’d identified the connection instantly, something Spencer would have done himself had his mind not been knotted up in frustration. But instead of feeling defeated, he was astonished.
“How did you-?” He asked, genuinely curious.
You shrugged, as if it were obviousLooking at the bigger picture can be really useful sometimes,”
Spencer stared at you for a moment longer, watching as you calmly began jotting down more notes, your mind racing ahead as if you’d never even paused for breath. He realised, in that moment, that you weren’t just another member of the team. You were his equal—possibly even more than that.
From then on, Spencer found himself constantly intrigued by you. The two of you often ended up working side by side, bouncing ideas off each other in a way that was both exciting and intimidating for Spencer.
You were quick, your mind moving in a different way than his, and he found himself almost eager to keep up with your train of thought. You saw things he didn’t, caught details he might have missed, and he wasn’t sure how to handle that. No one had ever made him feel… not inferior, but challenged in such a unique way.
The conversations between you were often odd. Both of you were too intelligent for typical small talk, so you found yourselves discussing obscure facts or debating over scientific theories in the most random of moments.
Spencer would mention something about a 14th-century mathematician, and you would immediately counter with a parallel discovery made in physics centuries later. Neither of you really knew how to navigate personal conversations, so you stuck to what you both understood—facts, theories, and knowledge.
One evening, after a particularly long day spent on another complex case, the bullpen was empty except for the two of you. The team had gone home, but you stayed behind, just like Spencer always did, combing through the evidence again, searching for a missing piece.
You were seated across from him, your brow furrowed in concentration, scribbling notes onto a pad of paper.
Every few minutes, Spencer found himself glancing at you. It wasn’t something he could control—his curiosity about the way your mind worked was something that pulled him in, a constant mystery to unravel.
You were focused, absorbed in your task, and Spencer couldn’t help but admire how quickly you picked up on things. Sometimes, you were faster than him, and that realization both thrilled and unnerved him.
“You’re staring again,” you said, your voice breaking the silence without even looking up.
Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise. He wasn’t used to being caught off guard, and you did it effortlessly. “I—I wasn’t staring. I was just… thinking.”
You finally looked up, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. “What were you thinking about?”
He swallowed, his brain scrambling for an answer that didn’t sound ridiculous. “You’re really good at this,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Your smirk softened into something more genuine. “You are too.”
Spencer opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure how to respond. Compliments weren’t his strong suit, and he wasn’t used to receiving them either. “I mean, you’re younger than me, but you’re just as—no, sometimes more—effective than I am. It’s… impressive.”
For the first time since he’d met you, you looked almost shy. “I’ve always looked up to you, you know,” You admitted quietly. “When I first started here, I thought you were kind of untouchable. Like, how could anyone keep up with a guy who knows literally everything?”
Spencer stared at you, speechless. The idea that you—someone he viewed as his intellectual equal, if not superior—had once looked up to him was almost unbelievable. It made him see you in a different light.
“Well,” he said, after a long pause, “I guess we keep each other on our toes.”
You smiled at that, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. It was a strange dynamic—two people too intelligent for normal conversations, yet too awkward to fully acknowledge the unique bond that had formed between you.
But it worked. You pushed each other, kept each other sharp. Whenever Spencer stumbled over an obscure reference, you were there to catch it. When you went too far into the realm of abstract thinking, Spencer reeled you back in with hard logic.
You were a perfect balance—an unstoppable team, even if neither of you would say it outright. And in a world where people rarely understood either of you, you had found something important in each other, an unlikely equal.
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magics-neptunes-things · 5 months ago
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Trouble
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Hi guys!
So this come from a request I had several weeks before, but I deleted it like the dumbass I am :) Sorry dear Anon, but they were asking for a long story like the one I did for Alessia and Caitlin.
So here it is :) I hope you'll like it, it's a long one. And I haven’t proofread it, sorry for the mistakes I’ll do it later 🙃
Please enjoy ♥
TW : Pregnancy, Angst, Injuries, mention of breakup, concussion and I think it's ok like this. Please tell me if I forgot anything.
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Even if you are from Spain, you are a figure from your youngest age at Arsenal. You are here since your 20 birthdays, and you just finished your seventh year in the north London. You have seen a lot of people coming and leaving, the last one leaving being of course Vivianne Miedema. It was a sad day honestly; you are anyway happy to see Mariona coming with you and Laia to extend the Spanish population in Arsenal. You are three now. Laia, Mariona and you.
You get along pretty great with all the people, even the new signings like Kyra or Alessia. In reality there only is one person with who you don’t really get along.
Leah Williamson.
It wasn’t like that at first, to be honest. You were coming from Real Madrid, but it was to run away from the RFEF and everything’s coming around. You talked about it with your Arsenal teammates, even in 2017 you already had several troubles right there.
Like your Spanish teammates, you sign the letter against the RFEF and like a lot of them you decide not to keep playing under those conditions. But like Mariona, Ona and Aitana, they promised you some changes and you trusted them. So you get back. How wrong you were. But it was too late to change your mind, too many things were engaged. It was in 2022.
Maybe it was at this point that Leah really became hostile towards you. At least she wasn’t afraid to show it off.
You are playing in the defense, usually just next to the same Leah. Like you said you weren’t really closed, but you were doing a great job together. A lot of things happened during those seven years, you have several breaks up with one intervening in 2022 after your ex-girlfriend, Gio, left for Everton and then Spain.
Late spring 2022 too, you got hurt and stayed away from football for several months. You chose to do your rehab in Spain, much to your teammates’ misunderstanding. You still came back several times to meet your doctors at Arsenal, but that’s all. You still managed to come back on the pitches for the World Cup and won it with Spain.
This year you weren’t injured so you were able to play all the games Jonas wanted you to, and you won several other things with Spain.
Which takes us now, at the beginning of a new season.
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It was a little hard to come back in Arsenal’s training without seeing Viv. You started at Arsenal at the same year than her, with Beth too. Talking about Beth, it’s probably way harder for her. But you can’t approach her, Leah being always around and looking at you like she’s going to kill you.
You pass all your time with Laia and now Mariona, even if the girl seems to enjoy being able to see her girlfriend as long as she wants now. Which you don’t blame her for a second. You don’t miss Leah’s glare when you enter the gym training, rolling your eyes while Mariona fly to Lia.
You chose a machine next to Steph, who greats you with a smile. You smile back before starting your training, your mind maybe a little somewhere else. You were still training when Jonas comes to you to mumble something in your ear, asking you to follow him.
He takes you to his office, where you find other members of the staff too. That make you frown, but they smile at you from the start, probably to ease your mind.
“Hi, Y/N. We just wanted to see how you are doing?”
“I’m fine, thanks” you answer, always a little suspicious.
Well, it was before you spot Win, Arsenal’s dog, who comes to boop your hand with his nose. You smile and start to stroke him, looking back to the other people on the room when they start talking.
“How are things at home?”
“Oh… It’s pretty great actually, thank you”
You give them a sincere smile, who seems to convince them. It was Jonas who talk next.
“We just wanted to remember you that we have a daycare reserved for Arsenal in the building. Are you still sure that you don’t want that? It could be way easier for you.”
“No” you answer, shaking your head.
Here is the real reason why you were absent during several months. You had a baby. A non-wanted baby after a simple fling with a boy who live somewhere else in the country. He visits sometimes and take your kid for a day or two, but he still lives in South Shields and told you in the early hours of your pregnancy that he won’t be able to move on in London.
You didn’t ask him to do it and you didn’t want to move from London too. So the things settled like this and you manage your career and your baby as good as you can. Your parents come from time to time to help you with, too. But your mother is sometimes a little too much, honestly.
“And what about the fact to talk about it with your teammates?”
You shake your head one more time. Here is the other thing, you haven’t talk to any of the girl about your pregnancy. You don’t really know why, you were scared to be judged, even if you know that they almost all are really understanding and sweet. You had to inform the staff and you find a compromise by saying to the world that you were injured. Which was wrong.
“Maybe it could be easier too if th- “
“I said no”
They all share a look, but you stand your ground. Leah flows in your mind, you are pretty sure that she would be piss off about the situation and the mystery around it. And the idea of your little perfection being talking badly makes you sick, to be honest.
“Ok well, you can go back to training.”
You mumble a thank you, stroke Win a last time before getting up. You are a little angry about this conversation, this isn’t the first time they tried to make you talk about it to the other players. Maybe it could explain a lot of things to them, why you are late sometimes or why you look very tired several times too. Why you skip almost all the team’s bonding too.
Well, you probably wouldn’t come if you could, Leah’s here and you stay away from her as much as possible.
You are still angry when you find your teammates and you have never been a good person when it comes to hide your feelings. Everyone in the team can see it but you ignore the whispers and the looks exchanged.
They were now in the room where Jonas talks about strategy and new of the team for the team’s meeting. You go sit next to Mariona, who gently pushes you with her shoulder. You smile softly at her, before putting your head on her shoulder.
“I’m fine” you mumble.
Mariona knows, like Laia, but only because they are your Spanish teammates, and you couldn’t hide it from them during the World Cup or the Olympics. Safe to say that they all became aunties, with Alexia Putellas of course being the favorite one. She’s really great with kids.
You intercept a furious glare from Leah and arch an unimpressive eyebrow at her.
“Can’t she give it a rest from time to time?” you groan silently when Jonas enters the room too.
“Basta” Mariona mumbles back and you groan back.
It’s only when Jonas starts to talk that Leah turn her eyes and you sight softly, sitting correctly on your chair. You hate team’s meeting, it always at those moments that the tiredness comes harder. While you are in movements, it’s ok, you can manage it. But when you are supposed to stay still, it’s harder than anything. Thanks god, Mariona keeps crushing your foot when she feels your attention getting low.
You totally avoid Jonas for the rest of the day, but you couldn’t escape Leah during the training. You are on the same team during the mini-games and we can’t say that the agreement is very courteous.
“For God’s sake Y/N!” almost shout Leah when Caitlin managed to score after passing you.
“If you were in your position, I wouldn’t have to defend the entire field alone, Leah” you spit back.
“I was trying to score! I can’t do everything”
“The keyword being trying here” you snort.
Leah is furious, but you are too. The frustration of the conversation from this morning is still here and you aren’t able to cool off like you usually do. The blonde is now facing you, but you don’t move. You both have literally the same height and you are not afraid of her.
“At least I’m trying things, not like you. Always doing the same boring tricks every single day of your life.”
“What the fuck is your problem, Williamson?”
Just when you wanted to push her away from you, Katie is here to take you away from Leah, while Alessia does the same with Leah.
“Hey breath Mate, it’s just training yeah?”
You nod and take the bottle of water Laia is giving to you, taking several longs sips. You shouldn’t have reacted that way, but Leah is getting on your nerves. You don’t know what Alessia is saying to Leah, but the blonde answer something quickly and animatedly to her.
At the end of the training, Jonas takes Leah and you on the side, scolding both of you like children. You put your best poker face; arms crossed on your chest. There is a hint of challenge in your eyes when you look at the man. You are still piss of about the conversation from this morning. You had a deal about your pregnancy, and they still try to turn it in their way.
“Y/N can I give you a word alone?” he asks after her speech.
“Not again Jonas, I’m sorry. I really have to go.”
He sights and makes a gesture with his hand, to tell you to go. You don’t hesitate to go to the locker room, taking a quick shower before leaving the facility. Your baby is waiting for you in the daycare and you have to go as soon as possible.
“Y/N?”
You turn when you hear Mario’s voice and stop in your run to your car.
“Yeah?”
“You know about the team night this weekend?”
“Yeah?” you say one more time.
“It’s at Lia’s. And she asked me to make sure that you will come too.
You sigh and roll your eyes. Mariona as a guilty smile and shrug. You can perfectly picture how the conversation went, and you can’t help but being amused by it.
“Will Leah be here?”
“Probably. It’s at Lia’s.”
There is a beam of silence.
“Y/N, come on please. I’ll missed you.”
“What did Lia promised you if you make me come?”
“Nothing” Mariona laughs. “She just looked at me with those green doe eyes and she knows I can’t deny her anything.”
You sigh once again while rolling your eyes.
“Alright, I’ll be there. But I’m not passing the night.”
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You haven’t exchanged a single word with Leah since your fight during the training. Unlike the other times, you don’t even look at her now, you just ignore her. Making like she doesn’t exist, even if there probably is another more mature way to deal with things. But you have to be mature every day, so if a teammate decides to shout at you without reason, you are just going to ignore her and that’s all.
Of course, Leah is here when you enter Lia’s house, looking stupidly attractive in her white top and jeans. But Laia immediately takes you by the arm to lead you in another part of the room. You don’t know if they planned something together, but you decide to ignore it.
“Where’s your little one?” Laia whispers softly.
“With his usual babysitter” you answer quietly. “He was asleep when I left, maybe he’ll sleep well tonight.”
There is a big hint in your voice telling Laia that you absolutely don’t believe it. Your son has the worst sleep in the world. Laia smiles and pat your back with affection, and you snuggle against her, never against hugs, kisses and a little of love.
“Can’t she keep her hands for herself?” Leah groans on the other part of the room.
Lia, who was sitting next to Mariona, laughs softly. She’s the first-person Leah goes when she wants to grumble about you, but the Swiss woman never took it seriously. Until your fight the other day, you never have a word against each other, to be honest.
“Just stop looking at her” Lia smiles.
“Hard to do when she’s so noisy”
“You’re acting in bad faith” Lia points, making Mariona smiles next to her.
Leah snorts and drag her attention somewhere else in the room. Katie and Caitlin are giggling on a sofa, thanks god there are people as single as her in this team too. Leah was thinking about getting up to find Alessia and Lotte when Mariona talks.
“When are you going to do something about your crush for her anyway?”
Leah is so stunned that she looks at Mariona blankly for almost one minute.
“I’m sorry?”
“Don’t look surprised. The sexual tension between you two is hard to miss. You fancy her and it’s ok, really. Just do something about it.”
“I don’t fancy her” Leah seems really outraged. “She’s so annoying and full of confidence, it gives me the ick. Plus, she can’t stop to touch everybody, even people she knows are with someone, just like you.”
Leah’s looking at Mariona, who arch her eyebrows. It’s Lia who answer something at that though.
“She’s Spanish, Love. They are just touchy” Lia shrugs.
“We are” Mariona confirms with a knowing smile towards Lia.
“You both are disgusting.”
“At least I’m being disgusting with someone else, I’m not just starring at a girl pretending hating her.”
“I’m not pretending” Leah growls before getting up.
From your point of view, you just see Leah getting up, complaining something that no one can really understand. You watch Lia and Mariona talking before Laia takes your attention again by asking you a question. You are now sitting with Stina and Frida, in addition to Laia and you were casually talking with a glass of alcohol in your hand.
The night went pretty great, you don’t drink a lot and you are having a lot of fun, catching up with your teammates. You talk to a lot of them, usually going away from Leah. You don’t realize that she’s looking at you from time to time, you are still ignoring her. It’s hard for you, you have to admit. Every time you spot some blonde hairs, your eyes always turn in her direction.
“Oh, I have to take this one” you frown, picking your phone from your pocket.
It’s the babysitter and it’s never good when you received a call from her. Usually, she’s able to manage your son’s cries or behavior.
“Hello?” you answer when you are on the other room.
“Hi Miss, I’m sorry to disturb you… But you probably need to come home.”
You feel your blood freeze in your veins, hearing this poor girl explaining to you that your son caught his feet in the carpet while wanting to join his babysitter in the living room after waking up.
You are livid when you end up your call before turning around, just to face Leah. You swear inside your head but for once she’s looking at you with something else than disdain. She seems concerned.
“Are you ok?” she asks.
“I… Can you get me Mariona or Laia? Please.”
She looks at you several seconds before nodding. You saw her form going in the living room while you are on your phone, asking for an Uber.
“Y/N? Que passa?”
Mariona’s voice startle you, but you are relieved to realize that Leah hasn’t follow her. Even if your friend is talking in Spanish and Leah probably don’t talk a single word, even if she likes to go to Ibiza on holidays.
You explain to Mariona what is happening in a quick Spanish, going to grab your coat when your Uber informs you that he’s coming in five minutes. The Balearian promises that she will say goodbye to Lia and the others for you and just with that, you left the house.
You took your son and his big bump on the hospital, where you pass the night. The doctors decided to keep him under observation in case of concussion. You kept Mariona and Laia informed and ring his dad too. You feel a little alone, sitting on that awful plastic chair while your son is peacefully sleeping on his bed.
You almost regret refusing Mario’s offer to come with you, but it was her girlfriend’s party. And you would have need to explain a lot of things to the others.
You skip the training two days later, wanting to stay with your son. He’s good to be honest, but you prefer not to take any risks with his health. He’s still little after all, he’s not even two years old. And seeing him in pain just break your heart.
Laia visited you and brought you some groceries and fun things for your little man. He likes when Laia or Mariona are visiting, he seems to love talking in Spanish more than English.
He was already sleeping when someone knock on your door that night and you hesitate before getting up to open the door. You aren’t waiting for anyone rand you aren’t in the mood for some canvassing.
But it isn’t someone wanting to sell you some assurance who you face when you finally open your door. It’s Leah.
You look at her blankly.
“What are you doing here?”
There is no harm in your question, almost no one came to your apartment since your delivery. You changed one of your guestrooms for a nursery, where your baby is sleeping right now.
“I don’t know. I just… You weren’t in training today” Leah shrug.
“You could have text me” you point.
“Would you have answer me?”
There’s a beam of silence.
“Probably not” you smirk before sighing when you realize that Leah isn’t moving. “So, why are you worried for me?”
“I’m not worried about you” she snorts. “I’m your captain, I need to check on my players.”
“You could have asked Jonas” you shrug.
“After our little commitment from the other day, I wasn’t sure that he would have answer something to me”
You exchange another look before you sigh one more time and let her come inside your apartment. She came here several years ago, so it’s not a surprise for her. Not a lot of things have changed, and you are a little neat freak, so there isn’t any toy on your living room.
“You can sit” you point your couch.
“Why are you whispering?” Leah whispers back.
“I’m not whispering” you whisper.
You are whispering. You really hope that your son is dead asleep and will not hear that you are having a late visitor.
Leah groan in frustration and briefly press her hands on her eyes while sitting on your couch. She then raises her head again and looks at you, sitting on the arm of the same couch.
“Look Y/N, I know things are a bit tensed between us for several months now…”
“Yeah, I still don’t know why. Just saying.”
Leah bites her lips and looks at the windows, probably trying to sort her thoughts in the right order. You are really intrigued, you never really understood why Leah’s behavior changed with you. You only have assumptions, but nothing to be sure of.
“Would you understand if I… - “
“Mamá?”
Holly shit. Leah turns so quick to the voice coming from the entry of the living room that you actually don’t see her making the move. You ignore the strange feeling in your throat and turn yourself to your son, putting the sweetest smile on your face.
“Que passa Cariño?”
He reaches out to you while you approach him, and you don’t hesitate to take him in your arms.
“Who dat?” he mumbles, switching automatically in English, his face half-hiding behind your shoulder.
“It’s Leah, you saw her on telly, do you remember?”
He nods and Leah waves at him still under the chock.
“Number 6”
“Sí Cariño.”
His big eyes are looking at her with intensity and curiosity, but it’s not the time for him to do that.
“I’ll take you back to bed” you inform him.
He nods again and wave back at Leah. You don’t have the courage to look at her and take all your time to put the toddler to sleep, even if he falls back asleep very quickly. You almost hope that Leah would have left when you come back in your living room. But of course, she’s still here.
“So… This was why you were whispering” Leah finally comments after several minutes of silence.
You roll your eyes and let you fall on the couch. Leah knowing your secret is the worst thing honestly, if you had to choose someone on the team you definitively wouldn’t have chosen Leah.
You must look desperate, because when Leah talks to you again, it’s with the most caring voice ever.
“Look, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
You just have to look at her eyes to know that you believe her. Your eyes follow her hand when she puts it on your knee, and you remember the first months of your arrival in Arsenal. Leah was sweet and caring with you too. You were getting along so great. This gesture makes you realize that you actually miss it.
“Thank you” you mumble.
“Who else know?” she asks softly.
“Mario and Laia, and I have to tell the staff obviously” you sigh softly. “And the players of my national team know too, it was impossible to hide during the World Cup. The fans assume that it was Mateo’s cousin.”
“That’s why you went to Spain during your recovery” Leah realizes aloud, before frowning. “Wait, you weren’t really injured, were you?”
“No” you sigh. “But my pregnancy wasn’t really wanted, and I panicked. I needed to go back to my parents, and they helped me with it. Then he was born and now he’s here. I sometimes want to tell you all but it’s harder everyday and I really wanted to protect him from the media and stuff. But the staff wanted me to talk to you all for several weeks now”
“Is that why Jonas calls you to his office sometimes?”
“Yeah” you breath, still annoyed. “We had an agreement with me not talking about my son but they try to make me change my mind.”
“Oh.”
You raise your eyes on Leah, to see that she seems a little uneasy and thoughtful at the same time. You don’t know why you are explaining all of this to Leah, even if she knows now, it’s still Leah.
“I was sure that you had something happening with him.”
“With Jonas?” you ask with disbelief and grimace when she nods. “Ew. No.”
Leah laughs slightly and you can feel her looking at you with attention. It’s maybe the first time she’s looking at you without animosity from a long time now. You feel yourself blush slightly, but she doesn’t point it.
“I have like a billion of questions” she admits.
“I’ll answer them, but I need a drink before. What do you want?”
“Same thing as you.”
You come back with two Spanish beer, and you smirk when you watch Leah looking at the name of the brand on the bottle before drinking.
“Who is the father?”
“You don’t know him. He was a random hookup after my breakup with Gio. I was trying to forget it; I didn’t expect to forget it that way though. He lives in South Shields.”
“So, you raise him alone?” Leah frowns.
“No, he comes from time to time. Sebastian loves him and he’s great with him, but he has his life in South Shields, and I couldn’t ask him to let everything down to come in London. And the closest place to South Shields would have been Manchester, there was no way that I leave Arsenal for United.”
Leah has a vague grimace, and you can’t help but smile. You heard her too many times talking about the fact that Alessia left the wrong team to come for the best. She then drinks her beer, seeming to register what she just learned.
“Does Gio know?”
You shake your head before answering.
“I haven’t talk to her since the breakup” you mumble.
“Would you have liked to if you hadn’t been pregnant?”
“I don’t know, Leah.”
She nods once again, looking lost in her thoughts one more time. You take advantage of it to look at her really for the first time for ages. You always loved her eyes and found the wrinkles around them very cute. But Leah is beautiful, it’s not something new. She isn’t fancied by dozens of fans for nothing.
“Sebastian is a pretty name”
She suddenly raises her head on you, catching you staring at her. Well, almost checking her, you have to admit.
“Oh, thanks”
You clear your throat nervously before talking again. You didn’t realize how hard you were staring at her and you hate her smirk and the cockiness with which she raises her eyebrows.
“I should go. I’m sorry I showed up like this without warning and kind of force you out with your secret.”
“Don’t worry, I’m used to it” you roll your eyes, thinking about Arsenal’s staff.
“I can tell a word to Jonas if you want me to. Asking him to leave you alone.”
“I can defend myself” you frown.
“I know.”
Her answer makes your annoyance subside as quickly as it had ridden. She just wants to help; she’s not judging you. You look at her eyes maybe a little longer that what you should before smiling at her softly.
“I’ll ask you if I need you, ok?”
“Deal.”
Leah stands up and you are a little sad to see her leave, but you should probably go to bed too. You follow her to the door, opening it for her. She passes the doorstep before turning in your direction.
“Will you be at training tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Sebastian is going back to daycare.”
Leah smiles and before you can react, she kisses your cheek before going to her car. The way your cheek burn stupidly even minutes after annoys you prodigiously.
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After that night, you realize that Leah is looking at the best way to recreate the friendship you had in the first place. She’s awkward sometimes but that make you laugh. The others have realized that something changed between both of you, and you informed Mario and Laia about what happened. It makes sense for them, but not for the others.
Leah comes from time to time at your house with a coffee for you and a hot chocolate for Sebastian for breakfast. You like those moments together and after several moment of shyness, Sebastian is now really at ease with the blonde.
“He looks so much like you” Leah points one morning while you are sitting to drink your coffee while Sebastian is playing on the ground with his little cars, his bump almost impossible to see now.
“Well, I hope so, after all the hours I worked for him to go out of me” you roll your eyes.
Leah imitates you before answering.
“Of course, he looks like you. But he has the same eyes color, the same mimic too. The only thing changing is that he doesn’t have your Spanish accent while talking English.”
“What?! I don’t have an accent anymore” your frown deeply.
“Of course you have” Leah laughs.
You keep frowning. You are living in London since almost seven years, you are pretty sure that you haven’t any accent anymore.
“Don’t make that face” Leah still laughs. “It’s kind of cute and hot honestly.”
You raise your eyebrow while looking at her. Does Leah just say you are hot? You can’t say anything else though, because Sebastian is coming to you with a frown and one of his cars in one hand, a wheel in another. You look at him wordlessly handing it to Leah, who puts it back without hesitation.
Others changes came in your relationship with Leah. Your favorites people to cuddle have been Lia and Beth, before Alessia and Kyra came to Arsenal. Leah seems surprised when you put your legs on hers for the first time during a team bonding while you were sitting on a couch, but you didn’t really think about it. You just did what you wanted without thinking.
Thanks god, Leah’s rigidity faded as quick as she came. Since that day she’s the one initiating hug from time to time.
And she takes the habits not to prevent you when she comes to your house for breakfast or in another moment of the day. She usually doesn’t come at evening because she knows that Sebastian might be sleeping.
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It was another day like the other when Leah comes to your house with her bag of pastries and your hot drinks. She rings the bell like every time but she’s not facing you when the door is open. She’s facing a man around your age, looking at her with the same surprise as she is.
“Who are you?” he asks, and Leah arch her eyebrow.
“Who are you?” she snaps back.
She doesn’t like the way he’s standing on your apartment like he owns it. She read to many news items and watched to many dark television reports about men killing women.
But she doesn’t have the time to get scared a little longer, because there is suddenly a sweet, happy voice that she knows very well.
“Leah!”
Sebastian is running from the living room for Leah, jumping on her knees. Leah takes him in her arms and hug him, before looking again at the man.
“Where’s Y/N?”
“Mamá is in the bathroom” Sebastian says happily, looking in the bakery bag with appetite. “Did you buy me Mince pies?”
“Sur, Buddy.”
With his pastry in her hand, Sebastian runs back inside the apartment to sit at the dining table. Leah follows him and was starting to get really annoyed by the other man in the room just when you arrive.
“Leah! Hi.”
She smiles at you and let you kiss her cheek with a side hug. You then put your attention on your son and his pastry, obvious of the tension in the room.
“So, you met Jeff?” you ask, cleaning Sebastian’s cheeks.
“Not really” Leah mumbles, sitting next to Sebastian.
You only raise now your gaze to realize that Leah and Jeff are actually looking at each other from the corner of their eyes with almost hostility.
“Jeff is Sebastian’s dad. He came for the weekend to pass time with Sebastian” you explain.
“’e ‘o ‘o o’ie” Sebastian says, mouth full of food.
“Try after chewing your food Cariño” you roll your eyes at him playfully.
“We’re going to watch a movie and then watch Mamá and you play” he pips up with happiness.
“That sounds good Bud’.”
Leah smiles but you can say that it’s not a real smile. Jeff finally sits next to you, and you manage to entertain a conversation between the four of you, very helped by Sebastian. Around ten, Jeff and Sebastian both left to the cinema, and you hug him tight and verify his bag before letting him leave with his dad.
“I’ll keep you update about our day” Jeff says, kissing your cheek goodbye. “See you, Leah.”
Leah grumbles something back and you don’t lose a second to have a real and long look at her once the door is closed.
“What?” Leah moody ask.
“You tell me. What’s happening to you?”
“Nothing” she shrugs.
You hum in answer, not trusting her for a single second. But you don’t want to push too much. You offer her another tea before cleaning the kitchen and making your bag for the game. Leah’s here so she will drive you to the stadium.
“Where is he staying? During the weekend?”
“In the guestroom, why?”
“He’s sleeping at your house?!”
“…Yeah?”
Leah doesn’t answer. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the way he kissed your cheek like you’re still his, even if you never have really been. She doesn’t like him around you, sleeping in the same house as you are.
“Leah what’s happening?”
You are lost. Leah seems angry but you don’t understand why. She doesn’t answer once again, only looking at you when you put your hand on her arm. You can see torment in her eyes, but you still don’t understand why.
“You know he still fancy you, right?”
“What?” you laugh softly.
But you realize quickly that Leah isn’t joking. The way she looks at you make you feel something funny in your stomach. It’s intense.
“It’s nothing like that between us. We are friend for Sebastian, nothing more. Nothing happened since the night Sebastian was conceived” you say with a comforting voice.
Leah hums once again, her brows still frowning. You erase them with a tentative finger, trying to read her eyes.
“Why are you asking that, Le?”
“Nothing, he was just acting like you’re together or at least like he lives here too.”
“Well he’s not. You or Mario and Laia are here way more often than him.”
Leah still seems moody when you left to take her car to go to training, but at least she’s talking to you and not sulking.
“I was wondering” Leah starts after you chose a music to listen during the trip “What’s your type? I mean it’s obviously tattooed, blond and disgusting bodybuilder for the men, but what about women?”
“He’s not a bodybuilder Leah” you laugh while rolling your eyes. “And for women, you saw my ex-girlfriend, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but Gio has brown eyes and hair. And I totally saw you with a blond before.”
She’s right. You bite your lips softly while trying to find the best way to explain how you “choose” your crushes.
“It’s not a physical preference with women. It’s more… The charism, you know? It can be someone with blond hair and clear eyes, or a brunette. It doesn’t really matter.”
“I see” Leah answer thoughtfully, before smiling. “Who was your first celebrity crush?”
“Dianna Agron” you answer without any hesitation.
How much you are sure about it makes Leah laugh, and you can’t help but smirk back. You were kind of obsessed with her in Glee, I mean have you seen that girl? It would probably be strange not to be, in your humble opinion. You don’t have time to ask Leah’s, because the blonde is parking the car in the stadium. You maybe will be able to ask her the question back after the game.
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You don’t let your son coming a lot to the games, there is really less spectators than for the men’s games and you don’t want him to be exposed to someone from the staff or something. But you can’t always say no to him when he begs you to come. Today Jeff is here, so it can easily pass for a dad-son moment to anyone.
You discreetly great him with a wave during your training, internally rolling your eyes when you see him with a bucket of chicken nuggets and some chips, even if it’s like three in the evening. But after that you are focused on your training, you are on the starting eleven today and you have to be more ready than ever.
The game was hard, but it went pretty great. Leah and you managed to block almost all the shoots took by the other team and when they passed, your goalkeeper stopped the ball every time. Caitlin and Mariona scored today, with Alessia being rested. Jonas informed you that you will be sub off around the seventy minutes during the half-time and you just nod softly. You are sad not to play every minute of the game while your son is here, but he knows now that you are sub to be rested to be able to play better the other games.
You knew that at the next stop during the game you will be switch, so you decide to play as best as possible when you see that a ball is coming across the field, for a header from an opponent. You jump to try to take it first, but your head is soon hits by something very strong who made you groan in pain. You fall on the ground without being able to stop your fall, pain radiating in your head.
You are not aware of the opposite player lying somewhere close to you, in pain too. You hear the footstep of the other players around you and you open your eyes just to see Lotte’s short crouch next to you.
“Do you hear me?” Lotte says.
There are other hands on you, stabilizing you on your side. You groan in answer to Lotte, who let a breath of relief.
The pain is awful, but you know that somewhere in the crowd there is your son who is probably mad concerned. You don’t want him to see you like this. Mariona has been subbed for Chloe some minutes before so she’s not on the pitch anymore. There is just one person who can help you now.
“Leah” you whisper.
You can’t hear yourself, so you are really surprised when you hear her answer, from behind you.
“I need to get up” you mumble, rolling slowly on your back.
“It’s not a good idea” one of the medical team answers.
Opening your eyes is painful, thank God there isn’t any sun but only grey sky under you. Leah’s frame block a little of the light, which is good too. You look for her eyes before talking again.
“I need to get up. I can’t worry…”
You don’t finish your sentence, but you see that Leah understands quickly. Her eyes went just for a second where Sebastian is seated with her dad before nodding.
“I’ll help you” she says, frowning. “It’s ok, you have to take her inside, she was going to get sub off anyway”
With Leah and Lia’s help, you managed to get up and went straight to the infirmary. Laia and Mariona came with you, sitting quietly with you while you are being checked by the team.
“Do you want me to go take your things? You can maybe write to Jeff like this?” Laia proposed in Spanish.
“Yes please” you whisper back.
She pats your hand when she sees you wince because of the pain before getting up to close discreetly the door between her. Mariona holds your other hand during all the time and when Laia came back with your phone, you had to ask her to write to Jeff for you.
You both decide that you will meet at your flat after the game, you don’t know if you have a concussion for now, but it’s still better for your son. Jeff says to you that he wasn’t really happy with this thing, but that he will manage to busy his mind. You know he will.
Several minutes later, there are knocks on the door and you mumble a vague “Come in”. Leah comes inside almost hesitantly.
“How are you?” she asks, standing awkwardly next to the door.
“Tired. I have a concussion but other than that I’m ok” you answer to her.
She nods softly and you close your eyes again, looking to have a little of relief for your head. You don’t see Laia and Mariona exchanging a look before the Mallorcan talks to you again.
“We are going to get a shower. Do you need a lift to go home?”
“I can take her home” Leah interjects. “If you’re ok with that, of course.”
“Yeah” you answer only.
Mariona hums while Laia kisses your cheek.
“Call me if you need anything yes?”
“I will Mario, don’t worry”
You snap her hand when she pinches your cheek, making her laugh. You can’t help but smile back, sitting a little more when they are gone. This time Leah comes closer to you, and you can see in her eyes how worry she is.
“I’m fine” you assure her.
She groans in answer, and you almost roll your eyes again but stop the move before it’s too late. The medical staff comes right after, with a paper with the medication you will need for your recovery.
“You can’t be alone at home. Do you have someone to look after you?”
You frown softly, Sebastian can obviously not take this role. And you will need someone to take a look at him probably.
“My… A friend is at home for now. He’s supposed to stay until tomorrow late afternoon” you assure.
“No way” Leah snorts. “I will stay at your home to take care of you.”
There is now way in Leah’s mind that Jeff takes this opportunity to come closer of you in any way. You accept her offer (even if you don’t really have the choice) and with that you are walking to Leah’s car. Well, it’s more like Leah is carrying you and both of your bags.
Like you were imagining, Sebastian is still up when you come home, still wearing his Arsenal kit and looking by the windows to see you come in. He jumps in your legs when you arrive inside, and you take all your strength and concentration to take him in your arms.
“Hi buddy. Did you enjoy the game?” you ask while Leah ruffle his hair.
“Mama hurt” he mumbles, hiding his face in your neck.
“Yes, but I’m alright, ok? Have you eaten something?”
“Nothing since his fries at the stadium” Jeff intervenes. “I wanted to see if you want to eat with us before starting to cook something”
“I’m not really hungry” you shrug.
“The doctor said that you have to eat, Y/N” Leah remembers you.
You sigh softly and look at Sebastian for several seconds. He need a bath and you definitively need a shower too. Then you can all eat together before heading all in bed, that should be something possible to do, right?
“Leah, would you like to help Sebastien with his bath while I’m taking a shower? So Jeff you can cook us something, honestly just pasta with one pot of salsa I have in the cupboard would be great.”
You will see tomorrow for vegetables for your son. Sebastian seems happy to learn that Leah will give him his bath, but you see Jeff frown softly behind her.
“Is Leah staying for diner?”
“Mh in fact, Leah is staying for several day to have a look at me” you shrug.
Sebastian takes your hand to drag you to the bathrooms, so you miss the rejected look of Jeff and the happy smirk that Leah addresses him. You probably would have rolled your eyes, which is still a very bad idea.
Thirty minutes later, Sebastian is finishing his second plate while you struggle to eat more than five pastas. You can see Leah’s concerned gaze, but you start to get really tired, and you would kill to be able to go to sleep right now.
“You should go to sleep” Leah frown while looking at you.
“But Sebastian…”
“I can put him to bed” Jeff says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
Leah proposed to wash the dishes, so you just say goodnight to your son before going to your bedroom. You change for a pajama and go to a quick toilette before going back to your room and your bed.
You recognize Leah’s path in front of your room when you realize that you are the worst host ever.
“Leah” you whisper-shout.
You can’t help but smile when she passes her head through your door.
“I’m sorry I just realize that you don’t have anything to sleep in” you bite your lips. “You can take something from my stuff”
“Thanks” Leah just answer, turning to your furniture to take some short and t-shirt.
“Also, I hope you were not expecting to sleep on the couch, are you?”
Leah froze before turning in your direction, looking a little lost. Even with your brain being a new kind of jell-o, you can only notice how cute she looks.
“I did. Why?”
“Sebastian might wake up this night and maybe Jeff will take him there. If you don’t mind, you can sleep with me?”
“Oh.”
Oh? You arch an eyebrow at her reaction. It’s almost hurtful to be honest, but Leah seems quickly to find a way to recompose herself.
“Well like this I can have a real look at you”
“If you say so” you grumble, before turning your back at her and closing your eyes.
You don’t see Leah’s affectionate smile when she looks at you before she changes her clothes for yours and went to the bathroom. She wasn’t expecting you to ask her to sleep with you when your ex is around. She smirks when she thinks that she beats him there and he probably will get mad about it.
When she joins you in the room again, you weren’t far from sleeping but you still have a pout on your face. Leah lays down next to you and have to put an hand on your hips to kiss your cheek because you still have your back turning to her.
“Sleep well Princess Spain” she smiles.
How can you not smile at that? You do smile, softly.
“Night, Lee.”
“Wake me up if you need something yeah?”
She kisses your cheek again and you hum, moving a little for your back to be press against her. She lets you, even passing her arm around you. You fall asleep very quickly like this.
Like the doctor’s recommendation, Leah wakes you up every three hours just to be sure that you still have all your head working correctly. It’s only when you menace her to make her sleep in Sebastian cradle that she stops.
The next morning, when you wake up, Leah isn’t next to you anymore. You are a little lost, your head is pounding awfully, and you grab you look at your phone to know what time it is. It was before realizing that Leah hides it because you are not supposed to look at screens for now.
You were about to get up when the door of your room is open, just for Leah to be entering.
“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were up” she says.
“Not for long” you mumble. “Where’s Sebastian? What time is it?”
“Your ex took him to have breakfast somewhere and go to a playground, the weather is nice” Leah explains. “How’s your head?”
“Hurt”
She smiles with sympathy and give you some pills and a bottle of water. You probably haven’t saw her so careful with someone when she helps you to sit, unless with Sebastian maybe. She lets you take your medicine before pressing her hand on your forehead.
“You don’t have fever. Are you feeling dizzy?”
“A little” you admit.
“You should probably eat something. What do you want?”
“Just bring me some of cereals who are at Sebastian” you shrug.
But Leah frowns softly.
“You need a real breakfast”
“You don’t know how to cook” you point with a small smirk.
But you just challenged Leah who snorts and gets up from your bed, answering something like “Try me” before leaving the room. You don’t see her for twenty minutes, time you used to get fresh and change your clothes.
You look at the tray she brings you. Fresh press orange juice, some fruits and grilled toast with butter. You realize that some of toasts are plain and when Leah comes back in bed with you, you understand that she will eat with you.
“I’ve read that you guys are eating bread with tomato in the morning. Sorry but I don’t know how to do that” she says while putting the orange juice in your hands.
“Have you typed What Spanish people eat for breakfast? on Google?”
You just wanted to tease her, but when you realize that her cheeks are suddenly a little pink, you can’t help but laugh. Leah doesn’t seem to take it bad though.
“No. More like How to feed a beautiful Spanish girl in the morning”
“Flattery will get you everywhere”
She just smiles, probably wanting to let you enjoy your breakfast. You are not really hungry to be honest, but you know you need to eat something. Leah seems to enjoy the strawberries, so you lot them to her, eating slowly your toasts. From the outside you probably look like a couple, and you can’t explain why you like that idea so much. You raise your eyes on Leah who smiles at you, and you smile back, trying to ignore the strange feeling she cause in your belly.
It isn’t new, honestly. You don’t know when it started, but it’s not the first time. You already felt your heartbeat go faster when she hugs you or kiss your cheek. Trickle on your skin where she touched you. You are a casual cuddly and touchy person, and you might have taken advantage of it to be closer to Leah.
She doesn’t comment your lack of talking, probably putting it on your concussion. You are feeling pretty great for someone who has one, but probably because it’s a light one.
“Do you need anything else?” Leah asks when you’re finished.
“Cuddles?”
She smiles and get on her back, and you don’t waist a second to almost straddle her, your head on her shoulder, one of your legs between hers and your hand stroking her arm. To be honest, you are almost entirely lying on her.
“Thanks for taking care of me” you whisper, your eyes lost somewhere facing you.
“I wouldn’t have let anyone else take care of you.”
His fingers going up and down your spine would be enough not to make you realize what her words can mean. But your foggy brain seems to be able to do it anyway.
“Why?” you ask.
“Because I care for you, Missy”
She boop your nose with her finger. She could have put teasing in her voice, but there isn’t. She seems a little breathless, which is very strange for someone just lying in a bed. It feels like it’s time for some confessions, so you decide to push your luck a little more.
“Lee?” you continue when she hums. “Why did you hate me?”
“I didn’t hate you”
Her answer seems genuine, but you know that it’s not true. You groan when you roll your eyes, remembering too late that it’s better for you not to do it.
“You did, Leah. We reached a point where we never even say hello to each other. And I felt like even me breathing was annoying you.”
Leah’s lips stretch to a small smile. It was true, but she never hated you anyway. She just needs a way to explain to you without looking like crazy. You were waiting patiently for her answer, you never really understood Leah’s behavior with you.
“I just… Felt like you were turning yourself to anyone but me. You never really talked to me about what you were living with the RFEF, but you did with Viv, Lia or Katie. You weren’t touchy with me like you were with Beth or almost everyone around. Sur we were laughing together but I felt like you never considered me for me. Then Gio came and you were always together, ignoring the rest of the world.”
You frown hearing her confessions. You need some seconds to process all of this information and it’s not because of your concussions this time.
“Gio and I were always together because we were together” you point.
“I know!”
You hear her sights of frustration and feel her moving under you when she passes her hand in her hair. Her stroking in your arm has stopped and you miss them already. You don’t add anything for now, feeling like there is something else to come.
“Then you got your injury and you decided to go to Spain, like if we weren’t enough here. And I have to learn all the shit you got through your damn federation like the public, with your petition and then you finally came back to the team. But I still didn’t know why.”
Even if you don’t know if there is a place more comfortable than Leah’s arms, you push yourself to sit anyway and have a better look at her. She’s still frowning, of course she is. You let your eyes take a look at her face, her eyes, before answering something. You don’t know what you could answer to all that, to be honest. Maybe it’ll better to start from the start.
“I never was touchy with you because I didn’t know how you will react. I know it’s different from Spain, Beth has always been extravagant so I knew she wouldn’t mind. I felt like touched depraved honestly, not in the sexual way but I missed hug and just display of affection” you shrug, playing with a piece of bedsheet.
You can feel Leah’s gaze on you, but you are lost in your thoughts and says, looking only at the bedsheet you are playing with.
“For Gio, we had a good time together but if I knew she will break up with me as soon as she wasn’t here anymore, I wouldn’t have lost time with her. She’s nice, but I was looking for something serious, not just a fling to pass time, you know?”
Leah nods softly.
“When I heard about your breakup I wanted to come to you, but I didn’t know how to approach you anymore. And then Jonas announced us that you hurt yourself during a private practice and that you went back to Spain for recovery.”
You nod softly too, biting your lips softly.
“I didn’t want to talk to you about my pregnancy because we had all of those injuries. I was pregnant because of a one nightstand which wasn’t really clever of me. I didn’t have the courage to be judged by someone. And in Spain I had my parents, even if I had the right of a lecture first.”
Leah puts softly her hand on yours, making you look at her for the first time since you started talking. Her eyes are way softer that what you were expecting.
“I understand. I can’t speak for anyone, but I probably won’t have judge you. I’m not gonna lie though, given our tensed relationship, I don’t think I’ll be helpful with you.”
You smile softly, before shrugging. You still have the part with the RFEF to talk about, which you don’t really like. You are not fond of your new coach to be honest, but at least it’s a little better.
“And for the national team, like other I tried to stand up against them while signing that paper with the other girls. They tried to make us comes back for World Cup, making promises and everything. I called Alexia about it and she explained to me that if we don’t come back, they will call younger players. And I couldn’t let younger girls having to deal with all this shit. Ale managed to convince Ona, Mariona, Aitana and myself to come back. We fight to win, hopping that after being World Champions people will hear us more”
You frown too, not far from Leah’s habits. You hate what happened after the World Cup, all this fuss with the former president and Vilda.
“But people keep calling us traitor and were laughing about what happened to Jenni. Then we made this petition attesting that we won’t come back until the RFEF change, like our coach. They changed the coach but then we got forced to come back, they threatened to take away our professional player licenses if we didn’t come back.”
You shrug, still looking at Leah. She’s silenced for now, but you can see all things getting together in her eyes.
“So, I came back because I didn’t have the choice. We talked a lot, sometimes until like three in the morning, and things aren’t great honestly, but it gets better”
“That’s a lot to process” Leah says slowly.
“Yeah. And I had a baby who couldn’t sleep at night during that time” you add with a smirk.
Leah smiles back, her face getting softer when you mention Sebastian. You can’t miss the bond existing between the two, Sebastian adores Leah, and you are pretty sure that Leah likes him a lot back.
“It was hard, but I never had a single regret about my pregnancy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“He’s a sweet boy” Leah confirms.
You watch her scratch her forehead before putting a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She still seems thoughtful. You look at her while tilting your head, wondering what is still in her mind.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.
“What would have been different if I was there for you instead of sulking stupidly.”
You shrug before biting your lips softly.
“Can I do one more confidence?”
“Of course.”
Leah sits in the bed too, her back against the bed.
“I had like the biggest crush on you on the first day at Arsenal.”
There is a blank before Leah laughs softly.
“You’re joking?”
“No”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She seems almost outraged by that information but arch an eyebrow before answering.
“You had a girlfriend, Leah. And I’m pretty sure that neither of you would have been interested in a threesome.”
You laugh at Leah’s awkwardness and the grimace she makes soon after. But now that everything was spilled out, you feel a little better to be honest. Lighter. There is no more secrets between you. Or almost, because you still have that crush for her anyway.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you during those times” Leah says, softly stroking your hand now.
“It’s ok. I wasn’t here for you neither when you had your ACL and your breakup.”
Leah shrugs one more time and at this rate she will have done her shoulder-training exercises for the day.
“Plus, you are here now.”
“I am.”
She smiles this time and it’s hard not to have a crush for her when she smiles like this. Leah is a beautiful woman; you must have sore eyes if you don’t realize it. You found her beautiful even when you were at loggerheads, but now that you find back the personality you loved before, it’s even better.
“Would you like to-“ “I was wondering if-“
You talked at the same time, just to shut up at the same time too. You smile at her and she’s smiling too, but this time you are the first to talk.
“Sorry, go on.”
“I was wondering” Leah starts slowly “If you would go out with me one night?"
“Like, for a date?”
“Yeah?”
You really hope that it’s really happening and that you are not dreaming or something. You bite your lips softly before answering.
“I would love to.”
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“Are you sure you will be ok?” you ask Mariona in Spanish for the hundredth time.
The usually calm and composed Spaniard sights and throw one of Sebastian’s toys at your head, the poor duck falling on the ground with a “quack”.
“Y/N I swear to God that if you are not leaving now, I will kick you out of your own house. Go get ready.”
You grumble something under your breath, roll your eyes when Mario shouts, “I heard you” and leave for the bathroom. You are already dressed, but you need to do your hair. Tonight is the night where Leah takes you out and you are more stressed than ever.
Mariona accepted to play the babysitter for Sebastian, and she will be sleeping in the guestroom if you are coming home late. You are not the kind of mom who lets you kid to go out usually, when you are not with him it’s because you are at training or at a game. It’s during the week so you were a little reluctant to ask the teen who usually babysit Sebastian.
When you confessed to Mariona and Laia they proposed to come, Laia hasn’t been able to come, but Lia must come soon to help Mariona. Which you find very cute and teased Mariona about. It’s only when she starts to tease you back about Leah that you stopped.
You are just finished to prepare yourself when the doorbell rings and you hear Sebastian’s footsteps running to the door.
“Leah!” he shouts happily.
You frown when you hear him call Leah a second time, but when you go to the living room you understand that it was in fact Lia who he was calling.
“Pwetty” he points you when he spots you coming in the room.
“Gracias mi Amor” you say, kissing his cheek.
“He’s right” Lia says when you great her with a hug. “Maybe I’ll change my Spaniard”
You blush, Leah glares at Lia and Mariona snorts. You then turn to Sebastian to tell him the last recommendations, like eat all his vegetables and to behave with Lia and Mariona. You finally get out of your house before Mariona does, turning in Leah’s direction with a slight strange nervousness.
“So… Where are we going?” you ask, playing with your fingers.
“You’ll see when we will be there” Leah smiles.
She puts a hand in your back to drive you to her car, which she starts as soon as you are both sitting inside. You smile when you hear Taylor Swift singing in the background and hums the melody. You are glad to realize that the conversation between both of you is still easy when Leah asks you a random question and it starts a small talk very appreciated.
You can help but look at Leah from the corner of your eyes, appreciating the way she is dress. Everything is perfect for her, but she’s really beautiful tonight. In fact, you say it to her when you are seated in the table of the new Italian restaurant Leah reserved, suggested by Alessia.
“You’re beautiful, by the way.”
“Thanks” she smiles casually. “I’ll say you are too, but Lia got ahead of me already.”
“She said I’m pretty” you smirk.
Leah laughs softly and you feel your stomach make a special squeeze. She seems so relaxed and when you remember how were things between you two months ago, it seems pretty unbelievable.
“You are beautiful” she says, looking at you right in your eyes.
Cursed be she and her incredible blue eyes. You are saved from fainting by the waitress who came with the menus. You chose to drink a little of wine, it’s not every day that you get out after all.
“It’s the first time I have a date since Sebastian is born” you confess like it was nothing, your eyes still fixed on the menu.
“Really?”
Leah seems genuinely surprised and you arch an eyebrow while looking at her.
“A pregnant woman or a woman with a baby then a toddler aren’t exactly what people are looking for” you shrug.
“Mh. Well, lucky me.”
She smirks and you smile back, trying to ignore the red creeping on your cheek. You like cocky Leah, you always had. You didn’t like when she was harsh and almost mean to you though, but it was time to forget about this moment. You are really happy to have another relationship with her now, even if it seems to be the start of something new.
The night went great, the food was delicious and the company amazing. You and Leah exchanged several longs looks when there is a blank in your conversation. But everything seems so fluid and you love it. You love the subtle flirt from Leah too. She makes you feel special, which you didn’t feel since a long time.
After sharing a dessert, it was time to going home. You don’t hesitate to accept when Leah proposes you a last drink at her house. Mariona informed you two hours ago that Sebastian is dead asleep after having his bath and eating her plate full of spaghetti.
Leah puts something on TV and you both sit on the couch just to ignore it. You are resisting to the urge to kiss her since you left the restaurant, but it’s becoming harder and harder every minute.
Leah was rambling about a random story about her mother’s dog when you finally crack. You just lean in without even taking the time to prevent her, your hand on her hips while you press your lips against Leah’s. She stays still and when you retreat yourself, she’s looking at you with wide eyes. Ok, maybe you read her behavior wrong.
You feel so ashamed that you would rather being struck by lightning right now.
“Madre mia Leah, I’m so sorry. I thought – “
But Leah doesn’t let you the time to add something else. She grabs your face with her both hands and drags you against her to kiss you. You are surprised, maybe less than Leah when you first kiss her, but you kiss her back and you definitely never feel something like that before.
Leah knows how to kiss, and you work on yourself not to jump on her. You follow the move when Leah lays down on the couch, your lips never detached from hers for a long time.  
“I wanted you to make the first move” Leah admits later, when you are cuddling on her couch. “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure”
You just hum and given Leah never refuse you a kiss since the first, you raise yourself to put a peck on her lips.
“Do you want to have the big talk now? About how we see our relationship, or do you want to wait?” the blonde asks you after that.
You frown softly, a little bit surprise by that question. You might have some random hookups at one point, but after your reciprocal confessions and tonight, for you it was more than obvious that you want something serious with her. So you may as well get it clear now.
“I am looking for something serious, I’m not going to lie. I have a toddler and I’m not interested in wasting my time, especially with you because I like you a lot.”
“Work for me baby” Leah smirks, before becoming more serious. “Another thing.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t share” she frowns.
“Okay?”
You don’t understand what she wants to say with it. I mean of course you understand what she means, but not in this situation. You are not really interested to have an open relationship.
“I’m not going to ask you to stop your arrangement with Jeff because it seems working for the three of you now, but it’s not because he’s sleeping at your house that he can say a word in your life or our relationship. And since now he better has his eyes in his pocket.”
You roll your eyes with a little smile. In your eyes, Leah is making a little too much with this story. You are sure that your ex doesn’t have a single interest in you, so you are not lying when you answer to Leah.
“There is nothing between Jeff and me, Lee.”
“For you maybe. We’ll see how he’ll react when you’ll tell him about you and I. But stop about him” she decides soon after.
You were going to ask her if there is another topic that she wanted to talk about, but it was before she shows you what she has in mind by kissing you once again. You don’t complain though, you could probably spend hours kissing her without being tired of it. Everything in Leah is intoxicating, in the right way.
“Is it time for me to get you home?”
It is, but you don’t want to. You agree nevertheless, unable to hold a pout at the thought of separating yourself from Leah, even for some hours. But it’s better this way, even if Lia and Mariona are sleeping in the guestroom, you’d rather to be there when Sebastian gets up.
Leah grabs your hand to takes you to her car and takes it again when you are going to your door.
“I had a perfect night. Thanks” you say when you turn in her direction, passing your arms around her shoulders.
“I have a perfect night too. I can’t wait for the next one”
Her lips stroke yours while she talks, and you can’t help but smile softly.
“Who says it will be another one? Maybe you’ll have to bribe me?”
“Can’t wait” she smirks cockily.
You laugh softly and exchanged another kiss before you have to let her go. She kisses your cheek softly and you enjoy a last time her smell before looking at her going back to her car.
“Text me when you are home?”
“I will. Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night.”
There is only the light in the living room who is still on when you enter the house. Everything is perfectly tidy, way more than when you clean yourself after Sebastian falls asleep. You smile when you see the drawing Sebastian made for you, in evidence on the table in the kitchen.
You pass in your Son’s bedroom to kiss him before going in your bathroom to change for your pajama and prepare you to go to bed. When you are ready, you happily find your bed, looking at your phone just to see that Leah messaged you several minutes ago.
Leah 🌹 I’m home, Lovely. Can’t wait to see you again 😊❤️
You Have a good night too 😊 see you tomorrow?
Leah 🌹 Sure, I wouldn’t want to deprive Sebastian of his morning pastry  🙃
You Seeing you makes him happy too you know, with or without pastry He probably gets it from his Mama 😉
Leah 🌹 Stop and go to sleep, you little flirt 😂
You 😇 Sleep tight ❤️
Leah 🌹 Sleep tight. See you tomorrow ❤️
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goldfades · 7 months ago
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★ AND YOU SAY I ABANDONED THE SHIP / BUT I WAS GOING DOWN WITH IT / MY WHITE KNUCKLE DYING GRIP / SO HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU THINK I HAD, DID YOU THINK I HAD IN ME? / HOW MUCH TRAGEDY? / JUST HOW LOW DID YOU THINK I'D GO? ─── PB⁵ (part 1/2)
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❪ requested -> paige and ex gf!reader that plays on iowa where theres a lot of tension on the court bc they ended on rough terms but u can see that they still care abt each other yet have to prioritize the game // hii could u write for paige x ex gf iowa!reader where they play against each other in the final four and everyone can tell theres sm tension on the court between them bc they ended on rough terms ? they still care abt each other a lot but r forced to put those feelings aside for the sake of the game (but they def had a talk afterwards) - u can make it so that iowa still won or uconn won i think either one would be interesting ! tysm ❫ part two!!!!!!!!!!
─ warnings | ANGSTTTTT!!!!!! mentions of transfers, fighting, paige being a BITCHHHH LIKE so mean (but its for the plot trust), banter at the end, mention of cc and kate martin, jealous!paige
─ ev's notes | tried a new format for the third little part thingy idk if yall like it but lmk (like the iowa game part)
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!
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JUNE 2022
Y/N L/N ANNOUNCES ENTERS THE TRANSFER PORTAL AFTER ALLEGED DISAGREEMENT OVER PLAYING TIME. In a surprising turn of events, UConn defensive star Y/N L/N has announced her decision to enter the transfer portal.
Despite the official narrative focusing on playing time, insiders report that L/N's decision is rooted in a desire to find a new environment where she can heal and focus on her game without the added stress of her recent breakup with Paige Bueckers, another star player for the Huskies. The emotional toll of the split has reportedly affected her performance and well-being, prompting her to make a fresh start at another school.
UConn’s coaching staff and teammates have expressed their support for L/N, acknowledging the challenges she has faced. "Y/N is an incredible athlete and person," said Coach Geno Auriemma. "We respect her decision and wish her nothing but the best in her future endeavors."
As L/N navigates this difficult period, she remains committed to her basketball career and is looking forward to finding a new team where she can continue to shine both on and off the court. While the specifics of her next move remained uncertain for a short time, it has now been confirmed that she will be transferring to Iowa.
Fans and fellow players have taken to social media to show their support for L/N, emphasizing the importance of mental health and personal well-being in the demanding world of collegiate sports. Iowa's coaching staff has expressed their excitement about welcoming L/N to the team. "We are thrilled to have Y/N join us," said Coach Lisa Bluder. "She brings exceptional talent and experience to our program, and we are committed to supporting her both on and off the court."
As Y/N L/N begins her new journey with the Iowa Hawkeyes, there is no doubt that she will continue to be a formidable presence in collegiate basketball. Her resilience and determination promise to make her time at Iowa just as remarkable as her tenure at UConn.
──
"So you're really doing it?" Paige's expression was unimpressed, bordering disgusted as she pushed herself between you and the door.
You sniffled, glaring at the blonde. "Get out of my way, Paige."
She crossed her arms, standing firm. "So that's it? You're just going to run away? Because of us?"
"It's not about that," you snapped, the weight of your duffel bag making your shoulder ache. "It's about me needing to be okay. And I can't do that here."
Paige's eyes softened for a moment, but she didn't budge. "Y/N, we're a team. You can't just leave us like this. Leave me like this."
You shook your head, frustration boiling over. "This isn't about the team. This is about us, Paige. I can't be around you every day, pretending like everything's fine when it's not. I'm not okay with being on the same team as you, do you get that, Paige?"
Paige's expression flickered with a mix of anger and something else — maybe hurt. "You think Iowa is going to magically fix everything? Running away doesn't solve anything, I promise you that."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "This isn't running away. This is me choosing to put myself first for once. I have to do this."
"What happened to loyalty? As soon as things get hard, you're running away! How does that make sense?" Paige let out a bitter laugh as you bit your lip, trying your best not to blow up. "God, what is wrong with you?"
You couldn't hold it in anymore. "You shouldn't be talking about loyalty, Paige! You left me, remember? We've been through-"
"Don't you dare say it, Y/N." Paige's voice was sharp, but you pressed on, the dam of emotions breaking.
"We've been through so much together, and you just threw it all away! You can't expect me to stay here and pretend like everything's fine when it's not."
Paige's eyes blazed with anger. "Oh, don't turn this around on me! You think you're the only one who got hurt? You think it was easy for me to make that decision? You're such a selfish-"
"Selfish?" you interrupted, your voice rising, ringing throughout the locker room. "I'm selfish for wanting to protect my mental health? I'm selfish for needing to get away from the constant reminder of what we had and lost?"
"You're selfish for abandoning the team! For abandoning me!" Paige shouted, her voice cracking. "Do you have any idea what it's going to be like without you here?"
"You don't get to play the victim," you shot back, tears streaming down your face as you sniffled. "You're the one who ended things. You don't get to decide how I cope with that."
Paige took a step closer, her face contorted with rage. "Fine, go to Iowa. Run away like a little pussy. But don't you dare come back and expect everything to be okay. Don't you dare think you can just waltz back into our lives when it suits you."
"That's not what I'm doing," you retorted, your voice shaking as you averted your gaze. "I need this, Paige. I need to get away from you."
"Then go!" she yelled, her voice echoing in the empty locker room. "But don't expect me to forgive you for this. For leaving when things got tough. For being a pussy."
"Oh, really?" You laughed, anger filling your body. "Fuck you. I thought we could be mature, but apparently we can't."
Paige's eyes flashed with fury. "Mature? You're the one who's bailing when things get hard! That's not mature, that's cowardly."
You clenched your fists, trying to keep your composure. "You think this is easy for me? You think I want to leave? I'm doing this because I have to, not because I want to. I'm trying to survive, Paige!"
"Survive?" she scoffed, stepping closer. "What about me? What about the team? We need you, and you're just walking away."
"I'm not your crutch," you shot back. "You have no right to make me feel guilty for taking care of myself. This isn't just about you, Paige. This is about my sanity, my well-being."
Paige's face twisted with a mix of anger and hurt. "Fine, go ahead and leave. But don't expect me to be here waiting for you when you decide to come back."
"I don't expect anything from you anymore," you replied coldly. "I'm done expecting anything from you."
Paige's expression darkened further, and she took another step closer, her voice lowering to a venomous whisper. "You know what? Maybe it's good you're leaving. No one needs your drama and bullshit. You're not as important as you think you are."
The words stung, cutting deeper than you expected. But Paige wasn't finished. "And let's be real, Y/N, Iowa's not going to "fix" you. You're still going to be the same fucked-up person, running from your problems. Maybe if you weren't so broken, none of this would have happened."
You felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room. Her words were like a knife twisting in your gut. You blinked back tears, feeling your heart shatter into even smaller pieces. "You... you have no idea what I've been through," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "To get here, to prove myself to everyone."
"Clearly, I don't," Paige shot back, her voice full of disdain. "Because if I did, maybe I would've seen what a complete waste of time it was to care about you."
The finality of her words was like a slap in the face. You stood there, stunned, feeling the weight of her anger and your own heartbreak. Without another word, you turned and walked out of the locker room, each step feeling heavier than the last.
As you stepped outside, the cool evening air did little to soothe the burning pain in your chest. Iowa was waiting, but now it felt more like an escape from a nightmare than a fresh start. You knew you could never go back, not after what had been said. The bridge between you and Paige was not just burned — it was incinerated.
Driving away, tears blurred your vision. The future was uncertain, and the path ahead seemed daunting. But one thing was clear: you were done with Paige, done with the hold she had over you. It was time to find a place where you could heal, far away from the person who had just torn your heart apart.
──
NOVEMBER 2022
"Welcome, everyone, to what promises to be an exciting game tonight!" The commentator's voice boomed through the arena. "We have Iowa facing off against Ohio State, and all eyes are on Y/N L/N, the transfer from UConn. Let's see how she gels with her new teammates, especially standout stars Caitlin Clark and Kate Martin."
"Y/N L/N, the former UConn star who made headlines with her controversial transfer, had seamlessly integrated herself into the Iowa lineup. Her defensive prowess, combined with her sharp shooting skills, had brought a new dimension to the team's gameplay."
"And there she is, folks! Y/N L/N, number 89, making her presence felt on both ends of the court. She's been a force to be reckoned with tonight, shutting down opponents left and right while sinking those crucial shots when her team needs them most."
From the moment the game tipped off, Y/N was in her element. She moved with a grace and confidence that captivated the audience, her presence on the court undeniable. Within minutes, it was clear that she had found her rhythm with her new team.
"Clark passes the ball to L/N... she fakes, drives to the basket... and what a beautiful layup! L/N puts Iowa on the board first with an impressive move."
The crowd erupted in cheers, and Y/N's teammates swarmed her, sharing her excitement. Clark gave her an encouraging pat on the back as she jogged back on defense.
"That's the kind of play Iowa fans were hoping to see from L/N," the commentator continued. "She brings a fresh energy and versatility to this team."
As the game progressed, Y/N's synergy with her teammates became even more apparent. She seamlessly integrated into the flow of Iowa’s offense, making smart passes and setting effective screens.
"Clark with the ball now, looking for an opening... she finds L/N at the top of the key. L/N drives, kicks it out to Martin on the wing... and it's a three! Kate Martin nails the shot, and L/N gets the assist."
Kate Martin and Caitlin Clark were all smiles, high-fiving Y/N as they took a moment to savor the play. The three of them were quickly becoming a formidable trio on the court, their chemistry undeniable.
"Y/N L/N is not just playing well—she's thriving," the commentator observed. "Her ability to read the game and make those around her better is exactly what Iowa needed."
In the second half, Y/N continued to shine, her defensive efforts just as impressive as her offensive contributions. She hustled for rebounds, dove for loose balls, and her tenacity was infectious.
"Ohio State struggling to get past L/N's defense... and she steals it! L/N on the fast break now... passes to Clark, who finishes with a perfect layup! What a dynamic duo!"
As the final buzzer sounded, Iowa secured a decisive victory. The scoreboard read 82-67, and Y/N's performance was a significant part of that success.
"And that's the game! Iowa takes the win, and what a debut for Y/N L/N. She finishes with 12 points, 7 assists, and 5 rebounds. An all-around stellar performance."
"And there you have it, folks! A stunning performance from the Iowa Hawkeyes, led by the dynamic trio of L/N, Martin, and Clark. With players like these, the sky's the limit for this team, and the rest of the league better watch out!"
As Y/N waved to the cheering crowd, she couldn't help but smile. This was the fresh start she needed, and it was only the beginning.
──
"Great game tonight, ladies!" The reporter started, a broad smile on her face. "Y/N, this was your debut with Iowa, and you were nothing short of fantastic out there. How does it feel to be part of this team?"
You smiled, your eyes twinkling with a mix of relief and joy. "It feels incredible. The support from the coaching staff, my teammates, and the fans has been amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better start here at Iowa."
Caitlin, sitting to your right, nodded enthusiastically. "Y/N has been a fantastic addition. Her energy and skills have really brought a new dynamic to our team."
Kate Martin chimed in, a playful grin on her face. "Yeah, she fits right in. It's like she's been here all along, like seriously."
The reporter continued, "Y/N, you and Caitlin seemed to have an almost telepathic connection on the court tonight. Can you tell us a bit about how you've built such strong chemistry so quickly?"
You glanced at Caitlin, who gave you an encouraging nod. "Honestly, it's been pretty natural. Cait is such a smart player, and she makes it easy to connect and play off each other. We've been putting in a lot of extra time together, and it's really paying off."
Caitlin added, "Y/N is a hard worker, and her basketball IQ is off the charts. We clicked from day one, and it's only getting better."
Kate, not wanting to be left out, jumped in with a laugh. "Don't forget about me! The three of us have really gelled as a unit. We push each other to be better every day."
You put your arm around the blonde, earning a laugh from her. "Don't worry, Katie we wouldn't leave you out."
The reporter smiled, clearly enjoying the dynamic. "It's great to see such strong teamwork and friendship! What's next for this Iowa team? How are you planning to build on tonight's performance?"
You looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "We're just going to keep working hard, stay focused, and take it one game at a time. Tonight was a great win, but we know there's a lot of work ahead of us."
Caitlin nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. We have high expectations for ourselves, and we know we can achieve great things if we stick together and keep pushing."
Kate leaned in, her expression serious but with a hint of a smile. "We're aiming high. We want to make a deep run this season, and with Y/N on board, we feel like we can compete with anyone."
The interview wrapped up, and as the cameras turned off, the three players shared a group hug, your bond clear for everyone to see.
As they headed back to the locker room, Caitlin threw an arm around your shoulders. "You did great tonight. Welcome to the team, officially."
Kate added, "Yeah, we're glad to have you, Y/N. And this is just the beginning, trust."
──
"The fuck," Paige grumbled as she watched the post-game interview on TV, bitterness clear on her face. Nika and Aubrey exchanged amused glances as they watched Paige, who's eyes were glued on the screens.
Despite the fallout with Paige, you were still close with the rest of the team. You wouldn't let Paige get in between you and your old team, no matter the circumstances.
Paige's gaze finally averted from the screen, looking at the girls. "Does this shit not bother you guys like, not even a little bit?"
"Nah, P." Nika responded as she sighed, leaning back on the couch. "We're proud of her."
Aubrey continued, her tone gentle but firm. "I mean, you guys dated and shit. There's bound to be some bitter feelings, y'know."
Paige scoffed, crossing her arms tightly. "Yeah, well, it still sucks seeing her over there, acting like everything's fine."
Nika gave Paige a sympathetic look. "I get it, Paige. It's hard seeing someone you care about move on, especially after everything you two went through. But she's doing what's best for her. You have to respect that."
Aubrey nodded in agreement. "And honestly, she's killing it over there. Seeing her happy and thriving makes us happy, too. It's not about choosing sides—it's about supporting our friend."
"Did you hear her?" Their words went in one ear and out the other, her gaze turning back to the TV. "Oh Katie! We'd never leave you out. Like shut up," she mocked as Aubrey let out a laugh.
It was obvious she was jealous, it was a rare sight for the usually, confident blonde. Nika and Aubrey exchanged another glance, this time with knowing smiles. They could see right through Paige's facade.
"Wow, Paige, are you actually jealous?" Aubrey teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Never thought I'd see the day."
Paige rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. "I'm not jealous," she protested, though her tone lacked conviction. "I just don't like seeing her act all buddy-buddy with them."
"Sure," Nika said, leaning back and stretching. "It's just because she's happy and thriving without you, right?"
Paige shot her a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. "Shut up, Nika."
Aubrey laughed again, patting Paige on the shoulder. "It's okay to admit you miss her, Paige. We all miss her. But she's doing what she needs to do, and we have to respect that."
"I do respect that." Paige interjected, her voice defensive. The three of them quieted down, continuing watching the TV. "I guess she has a thing for blondes," she mumbled under her breathe.
"Come on, Paige!" Nika groaned as Aubrey began to laugh uncontrollably. "Stop encouraging her, Aubrey."
Paige rolled her eyes, a faint smirk playing on her lips despite herself. "What? It's true. First me, now Kate. Seems like she has a type. Blonde, 6ft and hoopers, I mean..."
Aubrey wiped away a tear from laughing so hard. "Oh my god, Paige. You're insane."
Nika shook her head, trying to suppress her own laughter. "First, you are not 6ft. And maybe it's time to focus on your game and let Y/N do her thing. You can't keep dwelling on this."
"Yes, I am! With shoes, I am." Paige sighed, the humor fading from her expression. "And I know. It's just hard, you know? Seeing her so happy without me. Without us."
Aubrey softened, leaning in to give Paige a reassuring pat on the back. "You'll get there. It just takes time. And who knows, maybe this will be a good thing for both of you in the long run."
Paige nodded, her eyes drifting back to the screen where Y/N was still beaming in the post-game interview. "Yeah, maybe you're right."
Nika stood up, stretching her arms above her head. "Alright, enough of this. Let's hit the gym. We have a season to focus on, and we need you at your best, Paige."
Paige took a deep breath, standing up as well. "You're right. Let's go."
Aubrey joined them, a supportive smile on her face. "That's the spirit. And remember, we're here for you, no matter what."
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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biglisbonnews · 1 year ago
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CTT – Correios De Portugal (OTCMKTS:CTTOF) Shares Down 2.6% CTT – Correios De Portugal, S.A. (OTCMKTS:CTTOF – Get Free Report)’s stock price was down 2.6% during trading on Friday . The company traded as low as $3.70 and last traded at $3.70. Approximately 500 shares were traded during trading, a decline of 52% from the average daily volume of 1,033 shares. The stock had […] https://www.defenseworld.net/2023/09/09/ctt-correios-de-portugal-otcmktscttof-shares-down-2-6.html
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pucksandpower · 1 year ago
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Mine
Carlos Sainz x Reader
Summary: Carlos wants everyone to know you’re his and he knows exactly how to make that happen
Warnings: 18+ content heavily implied, manipulation, tampering with birth control, pregnancy
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“Who was that?”
You glance up to find Carlos’ gaze fixed on the rearview mirror of his sleek Ferrari, eyebrows furrowed. His usually cheerful brown eyes are clouded with something you can’t quite place.
“Who?” You ask, feigning ignorance though you know he’s referring to the tall, blond man who had lingered just a bit too long by your side during the after-race party.
“The cabrón in the blue suit,” he grinds his teeth. “Never seen him around before.”
“Ah,” you laugh, reaching out to playfully flick at the bridge of his nose, “just someone from the event planning team. Harmless.”
Carlos doesn’t smile back. His grip on the steering wheel tightens and the set of his jaw becomes more pronounced. “He touched your arm.”
“He was just being friendly,” you reason but a hint of defensiveness creeps into your voice.
There’s a pause as Carlos winds the car through the foreign streets. You can feel his frustration.
“You’re being naive,” he finally says. “It’s not just him. Everywhere we go, I see them looking at you. The way Daniel winks at you, how Lewis always finds an excuse to chat, even the staff and the fans. Don’t you see it?”
It’s not like you can deny that. Ever since the two of you went public with your relationship, attention has been inevitable. You’re the envy of many and the object of desire for countless others. But Carlos’ brooding possessiveness is new and you’re not sure how to address it.
“They’re just our friends,” you murmur. “And fans are fans. They’re excited to see you and by extension me too. That’s all.”
He exhales heavily. “It’s not just about them being friends or fans. It’s the entitlement, the audacity they have, thinking they can just ... approach you like that. Like they have any shot with you.”
You roll your eyes even though he won’t see it while focused on the road. “I can handle myself. Besides, I chose you. They’re nothing to me.”
The car pulls up to the entrance of a crowded nightclub, its entrance flashing with neon lights. Carlos stops in front of the valet, swiveling in his seat to face you.
You’re taken aback by the intensity in his eyes.
“Yes,” he says in a husky whisper, “you chose me. And I chose you. But I can’t stand by and watch these pretenders think they have a shot with you.”
You swallow hard, shocked by the raw emotion in his voice. “You can’t control who talks to me or looks at me. I love you and that’s all that matters.”
He leans in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I know,” his lips brush your skin. “But I also know how men think and I won’t stand for them disrespecting you or our relationship.”
“We’re in the public eye. This is something we will always have to deal with. Trust me, trust us.”
His gaze searches yours, dark eyes imploring. “I trust you,” he says. “It’s them I don’t trust.”
You wrap your fingers around his much bigger ones. “We’ll get through this. Together.”
Carlos sighs, resting his forehead against yours. “I just … I can’t bear the thought of anyone else ever having you.”
Your heart swells. “Mi amor, I’m not going anywhere. The ring on my finger is there because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He pulls you across the console, setting you on his lap as he wraps his arms around you while ignoring the valet waiting right outside the car. “I know. I just ... I need to make sure that everyone else knows too.”
***
Carlos finds himself in a dimly lit pharmacy aisle, heart racing. The overhead fluorescent lights throw ghostly shadows between the narrow rows. He can hear the soft hum of a distant conversation, punctuated by the rustling of paper bags and the occasional beep of the cash register.
But for Carlos, everything feels distant, like he’s viewing the world through a thick veil.
He stops in front of a shelf, his gaze locking onto the birth control pills. Rows upon rows of them, each promising freedom … autonomy.
His mind rushes back to the countless conversations he’s had with you.
“I want to finish school first,” you would always say earnestly. “Kids are a big responsibility. We have all the time in the world for them later.”
But Carlos doesn’t feel like he has time. He has fought with this internal battle for months. The thought of marking you as his, of the world knowing through the unmistakable swell of your belly, appeals to his most primal instincts.
“Can I help you?” A voice interrupts his thoughts.
He turns to see the pharmacist looking at him with a tentative smile. He tries to gather his thoughts, suddenly feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “I, um, need some pills. Sugar pills.”
The pharmacist frowns. “For a placebo effect?”
Carlos nods, trying to seem nonchalant. “Yeah, something like that. My little cousin needs them for her science fair project.”
She hesitates for a moment then reaches behind the counter, pulling out a small box. “We have these. They’re usually used for clinical trials but they should do the trick.”
He pays for the pills and quickly hides them in his pocket. He thinks about how you would react if you ever found out. But the thought of you carrying his child, the undeniable mark of his claim clear for all to see, is too much to resist.
The next morning starts as it always does. You stretch and make your way to the bathroom, your daily routine staring with the familiar sound of the pill package being opened.
Carlos stands at the doorway, watching as you take your daily birth control. He knows he should feel guilty but instead he is consumed by a heady mix of anticipation and possessiveness.
He imagines your body changing, growing round.
“Morning,” you smile up at him.
He steps closer, wrapping his arms around you. “Morning. How did you sleep?”
You lean into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and solidity of his body against yours. “Like a baby. Must have been the post-race celebrations.”
Carlos chuckles but there’s a tension to it, an undercurrent of something more. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins.
You pull back slightly to look up into his eyes, “Mmmh. About?”
“Us. Our future.”
Your heart skips a beat. “What about it?”
He hesitates, his gaze searching yours. “I want to start a family with you,” the words come tumbling out in a rush. “I know you want to wait but the thought of you carrying my child … our child ... I can’t get it out of my head.”
“I love you," you choose your words carefully. "So much. But I’ve told you how I feel. I’m not ready.”
He lets out a heavy breath, the weight of his decision pressing down on him. “I know. I just can’t help how I feel.”
“We’ll get there when the time is right,” you press a kiss to his bare chest. “I promise.”
***
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, feeling his eyes linger on you as you change out of your dress. The dimly lit bedroom is filled with the ambient sounds of Mallorca nightlife. From the open balcony door, you can hear the soft crash of waves and distant murmurs of evening revelers.
Carlos chuckles lowly. “Like what?”
“Like you’re planning something,” you eye him suspiciously but your voice is playful
He stands, taking a few purposeful steps towards you. “Maybe I am,” he corners you against the wall. The heat of his body warms your own, even through the layers of clothing.
You wrap your arms around his neck. “Planning what?”
He leans down, lips grazing the curve of your ear. “To remind you,” he whispers, “that you’re mine.”
You shiver at his words, the dominant tone sending a thrill down your spine. “Is that so?” You challenge, arching a brow.
His hands slide down your waist, pulling you impossibly close. “Very much so,” he replies, sealing his words with a searing kiss.
As the two of you move to the bed, there’s an urgency, a raw need that wasn’t there before.
Every touch, every kiss, every caress feels even more intense than usual.
“Why are you so ... insistent tonight?” You gasp out through the overwhelming rush of sensations.
Carlos halts momentarily, gazing down at you with hooded eyes. “I want to make sure you never forget,” his voice is rough. “Forget what we have. Forget how deep this goes.”
“I could never forget,” your fingers move with a mind of their own to tangle in his hair.
His lips find yours again. “Promise?”
You nod, getting lost deeper and deeper in the moment. “Promise.”
Hours pass in a blur of passion and whispered confessions. The intensity of Carlos’ actions betrays an underlying need and desperation that are hard for you to place.
As the sun rises above the horizon outside, you find yourself curled up against Carlos’ chest, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.
“You were different tonight,” you murmur as your eyes slowly lose their battle against sleep.
Carlos tenses momentarily. “I just wanted to make sure you know," he says lowly. “Know how much I need you. How much I want you.”
You prop yourself up on an elbow, studying his face. “I know,” you brush a stray lock of hair off his forehead. “But what brought this on?”
Carlos hesitates, searching for the right words. “I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to try to come between us,” he admits. “And I need to make sure that never happens.”
Your heart aches at his words and the vulnerability in his eyes. “Nothing is going to come between us,” you lean over to capture his lips tenderly. “We’re much stronger than that.”
Carlos smiles and flips himself on top of you once more. “I’ll make sure of it.”
***
“Ouch!” You exclaim, pulling away as Carlos’ hands brush against your chest. The sudden sensitivity catches you off guard.
Carlos raises an eyebrow, eyes darkening with a mix of concern and something else — something unreadable. “Mi corazón? What’s wrong?”
You shake your head, trying to make sense of the unexpected pain. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling kind of ... off lately.”
He moves closer, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. “How so?”
You shrug, “Just more sensitive, I guess. And tired. And don’t even get me started on how my clothes have decided to stop fitting properly.”
Carlos smirks, a hint of smugness playing on his lips. “Maybe you’ve just been enjoying Spanish cuisine a little too much.”
You roll your eyes, swatting him playfully. “Funny. But seriously, it’s weird. I’ve been doing my workouts, eating right, and still ...”
He pulls you close, fingers tracing the smooth curve of your waist. “I like the changes,” his voice is muffled as he presses a soft kiss to your neck.
You shiver, torn between the pleasure of his touch and the lingering feeling that something just isn’t right. “It doesn’t feel like me,” you try to shake off the unease.
Carlos tightens his grip, gaze intensely locked on yours. “Maybe it’s just ... natural changes. You know, as we get older.”
You frown, pulling away slightly. “But I’m in my twenties. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”
He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “Look, bodies change. I’m sure everything is fine.”
You’re not convinced but you nod, pushing the uneasy feeling to the back of your mind. “Maybe.”
Carlos watches you closely, the smugness returning to his features. “Besides,” he says, voice dropping to a husky whisper, “I kind of like the changes. You look ... fuller.”
You blush. “Thanks, I guess.”
He laughs, pulling you close again. “Always so modest,” he presses a soft kiss to your lips.
You melt completely against him, the warmth and familiarity of his touch pushing away the unease, at least for the moment.
But as the days pass, the changes become more pronounced, the nagging feeling that something is wrong growing stronger.
Carlos, on the other hand, seems happier than ever, his possessiveness reaching new heights. He is constantly by your side, his touch lingering, his gaze intense.
“You’re glowing,” he comments one day, eyes tracing your body.
You roll your eyes but hide a smile. “I think you need to get your eyes checked.”
“I’m serious. There’s something … different about you. I like it.”
You frown, trying to make sense of his words. “Different how?”
He thinks for a moment, searching for the right words. “You just seem more radiant. More alive.”
You shake your head, laughing softly. “I think you’re seeing things.”
Carlos smirks. “Maybe,” his hands slip under the material of your shirt, caressing your slightly bloated belly. “Or maybe I just know you better than you know yourself.”
***
“I’m what?” Your voice wavers as you clutch the edge of the doctor’s desk in shock, the coolness of the surface grounding you.
The doctor, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, looks between you and Carlos. “You’re pregnant,” she repeats gently, handing over the sonogram.
Carlos breaks into a wide grin. “That’s incredible!” He pulls you into a tight embrace, placing kisses all over your face.
But as the news sinks in, panic sets in. Your future plans — graduating with your degree, establishing a career — all seem to crash around you.
You gently extricate yourself from his hold, taking a deep breath. “How is this possible? I’m on birth control! We’re always so careful.”
The doctor tilts her head, looking through her notes. “No birth control method is 100% foolproof,” she says. “It’s rare but it can happen.”
Carlos’ fingers lace through yours, his touch warm and reassuring. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, squeezing your hand.
Tears well up in your eyes, the overwhelming emotions threatening to drown you. “I still have a year of school left. I wanted to be established in my own career … this wasn’t part of the plan.”
Carlos cups your face. “Hey,” he murmurs, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “You don’t have to worry about any of that. You have me.”
You blink. “Carlos, I want to work. I want a career. I don’t want to be dependent on you.”
He smiles. "You won’t be dependent. You’ll be cared for. Isn’t that what you want?”
You take a step back. “I want to be my own person. I want to make my own choices.”
Carlos’ gaze darkens, the dominant edge returning. “You will be. But you’ll also be mine. That’s what is important now.”
***
You’ve quickly come to love the sensation of your growing belly, cherishing each gentle flutter and kick from the perfect being within, knowing that it’s a bond that only you and Carlos share.
“Good morning, little bean,” you whisper, rubbing the gentle swell of your belly. Every morning, this small act helps you bond with the life growing steadily inside of you.
Carlos enters the room, his hair still tousled from sleep. The morning sunlight casts a warm glow on his chiseled features. “Frijolito is lucky to have a such a beautiful mama,” he murmurs, sidling up to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. His hand finds its place on your belly, fingers splayed and feeling for any hint of movement.
“I am huge,” you complain with a mock pout.
He leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss then pulling back to tilt your chin up. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.”
“You have to say that,” you tease. “I’m carrying your baby.”
“Partly,” he admits, sliding his hand up to cup your face, “but mostly because it’s true. You would put Helen of Troy to shame.”
Weeks pass and your body continues to transform.
There’s a softness, a roundness, that wasn’t there before, and it’s something that Carlos revels in. His hand is constantly on your belly, possessive and protective. Every time another man’s gaze lingers a little too long on you, Carlos’ lips curve into a smirk, silently declaring his ownership.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” You ask one evening as the two of you settle into bed.
Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Enjoying what?”
“Having every man that looks at me know that I’m yours,” you poke him playfully on the chest.
“Maybe,” his hand slides down your body. “Is that a problem?”
You sigh, nestling closer to him. “No,” you admit. “It’s kind of nice, actually.”
Carlos grins, pressing a kiss to your belly. “That’s my girl.”
The months fly by and soon the reality of your impending motherhood sets in. There are nursery preparations, birthing classes, and endless discussions about baby names. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, excitement never wavering.
“Can you believe we’re going to be parents?” You marvel one day, looking around the nursery.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Carlos says. “You and our frijolito are my everything.”
Happy tears well up in your eyes. “I love you,” you whisper, burying your face in his chest.
Carlos tightens his grip, resting his chin on top of your head. “Yo también te amo.”
The next race day arrives and as always, Carlos calm and collected. But recently there has been a different kind of energy to him, an intensity that was never there before.
“Promise me you’ll be safe,” you clutch his hand.
Carlos smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips and then another on your belly. “I promise,” he says, eyes locking with yours. “I have too much to come home to ever do otherwise.”
***
“It’s time,” you gasp, clutching the bedsheets as another contraction hits.
Carlos lets you grip his hand impossibly tight. “Breathe, mi corazón,” he urges, wiping the sweat off your forehead.
Hours pass in a blur of pain and anticipation. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, his touch both comforting and grounding.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, a small cry pierces the air. Tears stream down your face as you catch your first glimpse of your son, his tiny face scrunched up in protest.
“He’s absolutely perfect,” Carlos says thickly, tears gathering as he kisses you gently.
You smile weakly, the exhaustion of a long labour weighing you down. “Our little bean,” you whisper, cradling your son close.
Carlos wipes away an escaped tear. “Our frijolito,” his gaze never leaves your son’s face.
As you start feeding your son for the first time, Carlos’ face softens and his eyes fill with awe. “I can’t believe we made something so amazing,” he traces a finger over your son’s tiny hand.
You smile, heart swelling with love. “He’s perfect,” you whisper, tears streaming down your face.
Carlos leans down to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead and then another to yours. “You did incredible. Thank you for giving me everything I could ever ask for.”
You smile. “We did this together.”
Carlos nods, his gaze locked onto your son’s face. “I promise you that I will always take care of you both. You will never have to worry about a thing.”
“I know," you whisper as you let contentment and tiredness drift you off to sleep.
As the days pass, Carlos becomes even more possessive and protective, his love for you and your son deepening with each passing moment. He is constantly by your side, reluctant to leave either of you for even a second.
One evening, as the two of you sit on the balcony, watching the sunset while your son dozes away, Carlos turns to you. “I want to give you more.”
You raise an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on your lips. “More what?”
Carlos smirks and pulls you close. “More children,” he murmurs, pecking your lips. “I want to fill you with my babies.”
You laugh, “One is enough for now.”
Carlos chuckles but his face is serious. “We’ll see.”
Carlos knows that he will ensure it happens just like he did before.
He’ll keep you bound to him forever.
2K notes · View notes
bucketbueckers · 28 days ago
Text
I'D RATHER PRETEND
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CHAPTER FOUR
tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur wc: 9.7k notes: mama a MASTERLIST behind you 💜 lots of filler content but it's kinda pivotal ig 😛 hope you're all enjoying, reading all of your comments makes my day 🫶
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‘South Carolina Basketball Star Apologizes for Destruction Tour'
After a month of out of control behavior, Tess Kennedy has officially put an end to her destruction tour. In a heartfelt message on her socials, Kennedy apologizes to her team, coaches and staff, and basketball fans and she opens up about how her ACL injury “flipped [her] world upside down.”
“My injury forced me to consider a future where I could not play basketball,” Kennedy writes. “I moved to the States at a young age and basketball was the one thing that made me feel at home here. Believing that I’d lost basketball made me feel like I’d lost the one place I belonged. My thoughts were, ‘if I can’t play, then what’s the point?’”
Many fans responded well to Kennedy’s apology, understanding the guard’s feeling of homelessness. Many others appreciate the candor. One commenter noted that athletes don’t tend to discuss the darker parts of the ACL injury, claiming that this transparency is paramount in making mental health resources more accessible and more normalized for athletes. There are others who are firm in their belief that Kennedy’s reaction was unacceptable. Supporters rallied in defense for Kennedy.
[IMAGE TRANSCRIPTION: USER THOMASBLINKY39: “GOOD ATTEMPT AT SAVING FACE. YOU OVERREACTED AND LET DOWN MANY, ESPECIALLY YOUNG GIRLS WHO LOOK UP TO YOU. TELL YOUR PR MANAGERS TO WRITE A BETTER APOLOGY NEXT TIME.” | USER TESSKENNEDYUPDATES: “IT’S THE SAME WITH YOU PEOPLE, ISN’T IT? A MAN IS ALLOWED TO REACT. A WOMAN CAN ONLY OVERREACT. DON’T PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TESS IS GOING THROUGH. ALL YOUR COMMENT DOES IS SHOW THE YOUNG GIRLS YOU PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT THAT THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL AND FALL APART WHEN THEY’RE HURT. TESS SHOWS THEM THAT THEY CAN COME BACK EVEN STRONGER.” END TRANSCRIPTION.]
Reactions aside, one thing is for certain. Tess Kennedy is fully on the road to recovery and things are looking up for her.
“I’m connected with great physical therapists to rehab my knee and I am meeting with a psychologist to address my mental health and alcohol dependence,” Kennedy shares. “I am thankful for my friends, family, and support system. They were patient and loved me when I couldn’t love myself. This process hasn’t been pretty and it won’t look pretty for a while – but I owe it to myself to do what I need to so I can play the game I love again. This is a new opportunity to compete, only I’m against myself this time, and the one promise I can make is that I don’t lose to the same opponent twice.”
-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report
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MAY 9, 2023
Tess’s alarm wakes her on Tuesday morning. It takes her a moment to blink the sleep out of her eyes, still feeling the residual exhaustion from accidentally staying up later than she’d been accustomed to the past week. It’s only 8am, but she can hear Kamilla and Bree milling about in the kitchen, presumably making breakfast, quietly laughing over the gentle hum of whatever music they have playing. Tess hauls herself out of bed, stretching the ache out of her body and making her way into the bathroom.
Tess was never usually one for sleeping in. It was a hard habit to break after years of being up bright and early to go on morning runs and hit the gym. She fell off of that part in her routine after her surgery, and although she can’t exactly do much running or lifting currently, trying to repair her sleep schedule and other routines helps bring back some normalcy in her life. So far, it was working pretty well, though it’s been a struggle to figure out what to do with her time on the days she doesn’t have PT in the morning.
As she brushes her teeth in the bathroom, she’s distracted by thoughts of the upcoming 12 hour drive she’ll have to power through. It was her only choice – she wasn’t cleared for air travel just yet, so it’s an unfortunate fact of life she’ll just have to deal with. She’s less stoked about the long conversation she’ll have to have with her parents. Between PT and her other obligations, Tess hasn’t really had the time to truly sit down and give her parents the closure they deserved. They’d texted and called numerous times; Tess felt terrible for ignoring most of it, but she just couldn’t stomach their worry and disappointment. She couldn’t stomach her own shortcomings, either, nor the fact that she let it get so bad and that she iced out the people who have been in her corner since day one. The more she thinks about how she ghosted her own parents and let them watch her crash and burn through gossip articles and online videos, the more she feels like she’s going to throw up.
She can’t avoid it forever, though. Not when there’s nothing between her and her parents besides their car’s center console and 715 miles of open road.
Tess rinses her mouth out, splashing water on her face, reaching for her cleanser and moisturizer. When she begins applying her skincare, it’s the first good look she gets of her face all morning. She stares at herself for a long moment. The bags under her eyes are fading and her cheeks finally have their fullness back. She feels okay – she really does, which she thinks is a weird feeling to celebrate, but she’s celebrating it regardless, knowing she’s felt anything but okay in the past month. The one feature, however, that almost brings a smile to her face is the subtle shine in her eyes, the flash of life that has otherwise been missing.
She looks good. She feels good. That much is enough to improve her mood. She ventures out into the kitchen, grinning at Kamilla and Bree who look up with matching smiles as they work. Kamilla is flipping something in a pan at the stove while Bree chops veggies. “Hey, guys. Need a hand?”
Kamilla shakes her head, waving the spatula at her in a way that reminds Tess of her nonna. “Nuh-uh. Sit. You want an omelette?”
Knowing better than to test Kamilla, Tess slides into a stool, careful of her knee. “Yes please.”
Kamilla hums, cracking a few more eggs into a bowl, adding milk, and whisking them together. “We didn’t wake you or anything, right?” Bree asks, dumping some peppers and onions into Kamilla’s bowl. Bree lowers the volume on their music just slightly so she can hear Tess’s response.
“Nah,” she reassures her. “I had an alarm set. My parents should be here around noon.”
Kamilla turns on her heel suddenly. “Oh, speaking of, you got a package like, twenty minutes ago. It’s by the door. What the hell did you buy? It was heavy as shit.”
Tess can’t help the flush that covers her cheeks, though she doesn’t understand why Kamilla’s question makes her feel as though she’s been caught red-handed. “Uh, I might have bought a PS5,” she admits, and Bree snorts. Tess shoots her an indignant look. “My therapist says I need new hobbies. Turns out I had zero personality outside of basketball, so I’m trying to find out what else I like.”
“Besides a certain blonde hooper, of course,” Bree says, straight-faced and deadpan. Kamilla nudges her with her elbow and they both break out into giggles.
Tess narrows her eyes. “You guys aren’t funny. We are literally just friends.”
“Well, you said y’all was strictly business last week, so which is it?” Bree teases. “I saw those photos of y’all at the airport, too. You looked heartbroken –”
“Stop,” Tess whines, burying her face in her hands. “It’s just for the media.”
“Cheer up, T,” Kamilla says comfortingly. Tess looks up to watch as Kamilla dumps the omelette onto a plate, sliding it her way with a fork. “Bree’s just jealous. The football player she’s been plottin’ on for months has a girlfriend back home, so she’s sad.”
Bree gasps, shooting her a scandalized look. “First of all, I wasn’t plotting on Shawn. I was just testing the waters, and the waters say football players are not husband material. Second of all –” Bree redirects her attention to Tess, whose fork hovers halfway to her mouth as she stares at her teammate, “–Tess is the worst actress I’ve ever seen in my life. Remember that time we tried to plan a surprise party for Aliyah and Tess couldn’t stop grinning the entire day?”
“That’s different!” Tess interrupts, the egg falling off of her fork. She groans as she scoops it up again. “I can’t lie to my friends. But I can lie to the media.”
“No the hell you can’t!” Bree retorts. “You can’t control your face. That’s why you trend on Twitter after pressers because half of the country turns you into a meme.”
Tess’s face falls. “Wait, they do that?”
Bree points at her as Kamilla snorts. “This is exactly what I’m talking about! Anyways!” She claps her hands, gathering her thoughts. “You can’t control your face. You are the worst liar I’ve ever met. Which is why I know that look on your face at the airport was real. You aren’t lying to the media – you’re lying to Paige, which is why you’re fumbling the bag. You fuck with Paige, whether you’ve realized that or not.”
Tess’s face burns red as her thoughts race. “What are you, my therapist? I don’t fuck with Paige, whatever the hell you mean by that.” Bree narrows her eyes at her, and Tess has to look away. “Christ,” Tess mutters, fingers pressing into her temple. “Look, me and Paige are just friends. I’m just a mess emotionally with everything going on and she’s like, the only person I’ve hung out with that’s not you two.”
Kamilla nudges Bree with her elbow, drawing her attention as she breaks her silence. “Maybe we don’t need to grill her on this now,” she suggests, but her tone of voice leads Tess to believe that it’s more of a demand. “She’s going through a lot. Let her friendships just be friendships.” Tess shoots her a grateful look as Bree sighs, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter.
“I’m just looking out for you,” Bree says after a while. “I know you – you’re my girl, Tess. You’re not good at lying, or keeping secrets, or pretending, or doing anything casual. You’re real, maybe blunt to a fault, and you always give everything your all. I just want you to be careful. Blurring those lines with Paige can make things really complicated and you need to focus on recovery – not her.”
Tess frowns, pushing around the egg on her plate. She suddenly doesn’t feel hungry anymore. The anxiety creeps up into her chest, kickstarting her heart, and she has to breathe through the what-ifs and the slight panic that comes with questioning everything you’ve known for the past week. “I know you mean well, Bree, but I’m good,” Tess states once she gathered her thoughts. She gives her two teammates a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and judging by the way Bree deflates, she knows that she knows she’s soured the mood. “Trust. I’m not going to fall for Paige and I’m not going to blur those lines. We’re just friends who have to make the best of a weird situation because we fucked up our reputations. Nothing more.”
Bree stares at her long and hard, as if she doesn’t believe her. Tess doesn’t believe herself, either, but she has all the time in the world to start convincing herself that she’s just fine with her situation and there’s nothing to read into. “If you’re sure,” is what Bree says instead.
Tess can only give a half-hearted nod, suddenly feeling a lot less sure.
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Her parents arrive shortly after noon as expected. She moved all of her packed belongings to the living room, anticipating their arrival, and she’d nearly teleported to the door once she heard the knock. Kamilla and Bree made themselves scarce after their uncomfortable conversation after breakfast. Tess isn’t sure if it’s because they knew that she needed time alone with her parents or because they were regretting bringing up the Paige situation at all. Maybe it was a mix of both, but Tess remembers she has other things to worry about as she opens the door to her apartment, coming face to face with her parents.
Her mother and her father, Alessandra and Mateo, stand just a few inches taller than she does with her father tallest of their trio. When she was younger, she used to hate that she stopped growing at 5’10 when her parents were 6’0 and 6’3 respectively. It used to make her feel small, like she wasn’t meeting her potential. Now, after everything she’s been through, she falls directly into their open arms and it feels like coming home all over again. They wrap her up tightly, engulfing her completely, and she finds that she has a newfound respect for being the shortest of them.
She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she feels her tears soak her mother’s blouse and her mother starts smoothing the hair at the crown of her head. The gentle touch is enough for the dam to finally break. Tess shudders through heaving sobs as her parents hold her tighter, whispering pleasantries in murmured Italian that only makes her wish she’d never shut them out. She wishes she asked them to come down for her surgery, that she asked them to take her home after the fact. She wishes she was cognizant enough to have asked for their help before she let everything consume her. It’s too late for ill-timed wishes, although there’s still plenty of time for her to make up for her misgivings.
Her parents let her cry until there’s nothing left, and only then do they pull away. Her mother wipes away the residual tear tracks on her cheeks with her thumbs, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead as her father stares at her with a look that mirrors both his concern and his love for her. She stares back at him, at her mother, at the two people who have dropped nearly everything to support her and her dreams. They let her have her way when she couldn’t bear to see anyone after her surgery, they let her have her way when she wanted to move several hundred miles down south for basketball because she believed in what Coach Staley was preaching. Tess feels so much remorse and grief and love constrict around her heart and she can’t stop herself when she rushes out, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I–”
“You have nothing to apologize for, piccola,” her father says, interrupting her spiraling thoughts, but his understanding does nothing to quell the guilt.
“Yes I do,” she chokes out, eyes wide as she stares at the both of them, fresh tears beading at her waterline. “I got hurt and I pushed you guys away and I almost killed myself. I spiraled for a month straight and said awful things and almost ruined my knee for good. People tried so hard to help me and I didn’t let them.”
Her mother squeezes her hand, smiling softly at her. “We are your parents. You do not need to do anything to earn our forgiveness. You have it. Unconditionally.”
Tess’s lip trembles. She tries to fight the tears. “That’s not how that works,” she says weakly. 
“Some things don’t have to work any certain way,” her father says. “Sometimes they just are. We’re proud of you, Tess.”
Growing up, people always said that Tess was a mix of her parents. She had her mother’s coiled, dark brown hair, her laugh, her nose, her sarcasm. She had her father’s eyes, his smile, his heart, his drive. Now, she’s beginning to realize that the trait her parents share – their ability to forgive – hasn’t quite reached her just yet.
“You don’t need forgiveness from other people,” her mother says, halting her racing thoughts. “You just need to forgive yourself, sweet girl. Learn from this, bounce back and recover, but you cannot do any of that if you hold the blame close to your heart.”
“I’m trying,” Tess confesses.
Several thoughts swim in her brain. She hears it all. Trying isn’t enough. Try harder. Why did you let it get this bad in the first place? It takes her far too long to realize the voice is her own. Her parents would never say any of that to her. But what they do say instead is, “Sometimes trying is all you can do,” and that’s enough to make her bottom lip wobble again. She launches herself back into their arms as her father continues, “We know you can heal from this. We know it’s hard. But you need to believe in yourself and try.”
The words get stuck in her throat as she tries to breathe through the pounding in her chest. All she can manage is a nod, but they understand her – they always do. Her parents hold her until she comes back to earth, her mother flashing a familiar smile at her. “Are you ready to go?”
Tess nods again, wiping her cheeks again. “Yeah. Just let me say bye to Kam and Bree first.”
Her parents nod, picking up her suitcase, her backpack, and her Amazon box by the door. They exit her apartment with her belongings in tow as Tess makes her way to Bree’s door first, knocking on it gently and waiting for her to open it.
When Bree does, she opens her arms immediately and Tess falls into her embrace. “Have a safe drive, okay?” Bree says, squeezing her. “Call if you need anything.”
“I will,” Tess promises, pulling away.
“Listen,” Bree says. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t be in your business like that.”
Tess shakes her head. “It’s okay. I know where you’re coming from. Thank you for looking out for me. Just trust that I can look out for myself, too?”
“Done,” she agrees, and she sweeps Tess into one last hug before saying her goodbyes and venturing back into her room.
Kamilla’s room is her final stop. She doesn’t even have to knock before Kamilla opens the door and wraps her arms around Tess. “Don’t miss me too much,” Tess says jokingly, and Kamilla laughs, her chin resting on Tess’s head.
“Too late,” her best friend states. “Come home, Tess Kennedy. The kids miss you.”
Tess grins, rolling her eyes. “Sorry, Kam. I gotta go my own way.”
Kamilla pulls away but smiles fondly at Tess. “Text me when you’re home safe. I don’t care how late it is.”
“I will,” she promises again. Kamilla wraps her up one more time, saying goodbye, and returning to her room.
When Tess makes it back to the living room, her parents are back and empty handed. Tess smiles at them, slipping her crutches under her arms, and together, the three of them begin the 12 hour journey back to Brooklyn.
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The first few hours of the drive are dedicated to the much needed conversation with her parents. Tess recaps the last few weeks to her them, explaining her thought process, the loneliness, the near constant knee pain. It’s all smooth sailing until she reaches last week’s events and the meeting with Amaya. She honestly has all intentions of leaving out the Paige situation, not wanting to lie to her parents because she and Paige agreed they wouldn’t tell anyone. If there was one thing Bree was right about, it was the fact that Tess was a shitty liar, and she would prefer to avoid the situation as a whole.
“So what about that blonde guard you’ve been hanging out with?” her dad asks innocently, completely ruining her entire plan.
Fuck. So much for that.
“Um,” she says smartly, a blush rising on her cheeks. Her dad glances up, meeting her eyes in the rear-view mirror, and his lips twitch into a smirk. “We’re taking things slow right now,” she says slowly. “Paige reached out after I tore my ACL and offered her condolences. I didn’t really want to accept help from anyone, but she flew out and surprised me after my meeting with Amaya, and, I don’t know, but it was really nice.”
“Do you like her?” her mother asks.
“Mamma,” she groans, exasperated. Her mom levels her with a look that makes her insides crumble. She remembers that her and Paige aren’t even publicly official, so what’s the harm in downplaying it? “I mean, she gets it, you know?” She gets me, is the clarification that goes unsaid, but Tess gets the idea that her parents understand her meaning just the same. “We play on different teams. I didn’t, um, want to let her get close,” she says tactfully, feeling as the words hit a little too close to home. “But I couldn’t stop it. I like being her friend and talking to her. That’s good enough for me for now.”
Her parents share a look in the front seat. Tess is sweating bullets in the back, trying desperately to distract herself by flipping her phone mindlessly in her hand. Truth be told, she’s not even sure where the truth ends and the lie begins. This whole situation is so messy, she thinks to herself, only snapping out of her thoughts when her mother speaks up. “Well, you sound happy,” she says, which genuinely surprises Tess. Another thing Bree was right about. She cannot control her expressions. “She may be good for you, piccola.”
Tess swallows thickly, craning her head to stare out the window. The trees on the side of the interstate pass by in a blur. She finds them much more interesting to look at now. “I hope so,” Tess says, the words coming to her easily.
Thankfully, her mother cranks up the AC and adjusts in her seat, aiming to take a power nap before she swaps places with Tess’s father to finish out the drive. Her father glances at her once more through the rear view, a knowing smile on his face, which unsettles Tess more than she’d like to admit, but the underlying softness in his eyes makes it hard to be too worried. Releasing a deep breath, she pulls her own blanket over her legs, pops her earbuds in, and leans against the car door as she closes her eyes, hoping to speed the drive along by sleeping through it. They still had another 10 hours to go, and Tess will be close to losing it if she has to talk about Paige for any longer.
The rest of their drive passes in relative peace. Tess crashes for a few hours and wakes up in time to order dinner from a drive-thru. Her parents switch driving duty an hour later at the closest rest stop and Tess takes the time to get out of the car to stretch her leg and use the bathroom. She stocks up on a couple of overpriced vending machine snacks, and before she knows it, they’re back on the road again.
She tries to nap again, but after the three hour snooze she took, she feels more restless than anything. Combined with being in the car for six hours, she’s ready to start running laps, knee be damned. She’s running out of playlists to listen to and she can only play Subway Surfers for so long before she starts getting exhausted of it. As if she senses her turmoil, a text from Paige comes through, and Tess can almost cry with relief, knowing that the blonde will have something stupid to say that will distract her.
Are you alive?
barely the longer we drive the more i wish i took a plane there’s got to be a donor somewhere out there who can give me their knee
So I don’t think that’s actually how that works!
so i don’t think you’re qualified to say that!
I am The ladies call me Dr. Bueckers Okay that was actually worded really bad
“the ladies” huh
Please don’t make this a thing I regretted it as soon as I sent it
every day i wonder how and why girls throw themselves at you you literally can’t flirt for shit you just annoy people and say the stupidest things so confidently
Well you’re still talking to me I think it works
my choices right now are entertaining you or staring out the window for another six hours
This is progress cause a week ago you would have said you’d prefer to stare out the window Tess Kennedy MIGHT like me 🤩
paige bueckers MIGHT be delusional 🤩
The line between delusion and manifestation is thin but I get what I want so just keep on hating
ok bars ur still delusional though
One day I’ll get you to admit it I’ve grown on you
much like a fungus
You think I’m a fun guy!
[8 Ball]
Don’t deflect
are you chicken?
Okay I see how it is
Tess and Paige probably set the record for the most pool games played in one sitting, which is surprising for two reasons. The first being the fact that Paige apparently had nothing going on for six hours, the second being the fact that Paige actually sat and played pool with Tess for six hours. Tess’s eyes had started drooping around 11:30 pm, but she and Paige were tied in how many wins they had (318 each – they kept track in a shared note), so she kept pushing through, even though her eyes burned and she wanted to crash. When Tess claims victory 319, Paige almost loses it.
You’re actually cheating
how tf am i cheating at 8 ball?
You seem like the type to take a screenshot and use the ruler
i’ll have you know i’m a woman of honor and integrity you’re just ass
You say the nicest things Okay one last round and I need to go to bed You’re almost home right?
we have like 20 more min yeah
Lock in
Tess, in fact, does not lock in. Six hours of pool is probably detrimental to her eyesight, so she cuts her losses and accepts one final draw between her and Paige. 319 each is good enough for her – especially with the time inching closer and closer to midnight and the fact she’ll likely see the pool table in her sleep.
Rematch tomorrow?
i don’t think i can ever play 8 ball again it will be too soon when my therapist said to find a new hobby i don’t think this is what she meant
You’re welcome!
i did not say thank you
You didn’t have to But you’re welcome for spending 6 hours on 8 ball with you
thank you
Oh my God that sounded genuine
and you just killed the moment
We were having a moment? 🤭
ok goodnight don’t text me again
You’ll miss me Lemme know when you’re home for real I’ll stay up
you don’t have to
So notice how that wasn’t the request
fine i'll let you know
Paige simply reacts to her message with a heart, and with a soft smile, Tess shuts her phone off and finally gives it a rest after six hours of non-stop use. Her screen time was probably off the charts, but that’s a problem for another time.
The last fifteen minutes of the drive passes by quickly and before she knows it, her mom is pulling into the driveway of their house. Tess could cry in relief, though whether it’s from lingering homesickness or the need to get out of the car, she doesn’t know. Her mother shakes her father awake and together, the two of them grab Tess’s bags from the back while she slips her crutches under her arms as they make their way into the house.
Tess hardly has the time to soak it all in. The last time she was home was during spring break, but right now, her main concern is hauling her ass to bed and passing out. Her parents carefully deposit her belongings on the floor in her room. Sharing one last hug for the night and exhausted goodnights, her parents leave her be and Tess all but collapses into bed. She adjusts the pillow under her knee, plugs in her phone, and opens her messages with Paige.
i'm home
Paige’s response is near instantaneous. Tess wonders if she was hovering, patiently waiting for her message before she let sleep consume her. Tess doesn’t dwell on it, not liking the way the thought made her chest tighten.
Thank you Night ma 🫶
Tess bids her goodnight, too, and she shuts her phone off, placing it on the bedside table. She stares at the ceiling, wondering why Paige’s message leaves an almost foreign stirring feeling in her stomach. But as her eyes slip shut, she determines she’ll just have to deal with it at another time, and she lets sleep finally take her.
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MAY 11, 2023 - JUNE 20, 2023
The next month of Tess’s life passes in a blur of PT, weekly therapy appointments, mentoring from various Liberty members (although that was unplanned for), movie nights with her parents, and truthfully far too much Fortnite with Paige. She had her first PT appointment with Theresa, or Terri as she’d insisted Tess call her, on May 11th. As her appointment was in between the Liberty’s first two preseason matches, Tess saw a lot more of the Liberty players than she was expecting to. Stewie is taller than her Wikipedia led Tess to believe and Betnijah was even prettier in person. They all expressed their condolences as they filtered in and out for last minute screenings and check ups, and Tess couldn’t quite lose her stupefied awe no matter how many pros she talked to. She even got a follow back from Stewie, who joked that she was “alright for a Gamecock.” 
Tess genuinely felt like she won the lottery. She couldn’t believe Sabrina had reached out for her or that it was even this easy in the first place, though she probably has to give more credit to the Liberty front office for granting their permission and monopolizing on the opportunity. So far, it’s been pretty mutualistic — Tess works with Terri, learns from seasoned veterans, cleans up her image a little more, and honestly increases her draft stock through league exposure; in turn, the Liberty monopolizes on Tess’s branding and status as a college athlete, aiding in growing the scene. There’s a lot of viewers out there who tune in solely for college athletics. The Liberty have already reported an increase in traffic on their websites and even some ticket sales, which Tess is honestly surprised by. She still has another year minimum in college; the fact that people are tuning in for her (when she isn’t even in the league yet) and the fact that she’s helping grow the WNBA simply by hanging out with the Liberty and rehabbing her knee is insane. 
That was something Paige had teased her relentlessly about when they both found the time to FaceTime that Friday. Paige’s flight back to Minnesota was delayed a few hours, so she spent most of Thursday at the airport. She and Tess were supposed to chat after she landed, but the blonde went straight to bed once she made it home. 
“With the 1st pick in the 2024 WNBA Draft, the New York Liberty select—”
“Okay, you’re not funny,” Tess gripes, narrowing her eyes at Paige, who can’t control her laughter from across the screen. Tess is in the middle of setting up her Playstation account, trying — and failing — to remember where most of the buttons are on the controller. Paige already has Fortnite loaded up on her screen and tries her best to help Tess with the logistics, but she keeps getting sidetracked. “The Liberty won’t have first pick for a hot minute. And you’d think they’d take me over Caitlin?”
“Stop talking about other women!” Paige cries. “Am I not enough for you or what?”
“You are so easy to mess with, it’s unreal,” Tess states. She leans in closer to her screen. “What the hell is L1?”
“Top button on the left,” Paige supplies. “The one on the back is the trigger, L2.”
Tess sighs, pressing the button and finishing up some of her customization as she navigates her way to the console store to download Fortnite. “Nerd,” she says under her breath, but the indignant gasp from Paige is the only reaction she needs. “Honestly,” she begins, hesitating slightly. “I might not declare in 2024.”
“What?” Paige blurts. “Don’t tell me you’re quitting ball. An angel just lost its wings.”
“Not like that!” Tess rushes to say. She stares at the download bar as it fills up, not looking at Paige. “I was talking to Sabrina this morning — chill, she is grown and she has a man —” her words do nothing to quell Paige’s dramatic huff, “and she suggested I use my redshirt eligibility and take an extra year. I mean, I’ll be back in time for March Madness and can play a few games with the new redshirting rules, though I’m honestly not feeling confident in returning from an injury, taking on high level play with little to no practice, then declaring for the draft fresh off of recovery. I’m not, like, worried about my ability, but from a purely logistical standpoint, no team would willingly want to draft me in this condition, right? It wouldn’t be safe. I wouldn't be a reliable pick. I feel like it would be good for me to stay, get back into it, and declare when I’m actually at my best.”
Paige is quiet for a moment, and when Tess glances down at her phone, she can see that Paige is deep in thought. When she finally responds, her voice is soft. “I know what you mean. I think you should,” she says. “Stay, I mean. I don’t think I’m declaring in 2024, either.”
Tess smiles knowingly at her. “Oh, you just wanna keep getting dunked on by me, huh?”
Paige rolls her eyes, but grins at her. “You’re 5’10. Only way you’re dunking is if they lower the rims.”
“You’re such an asshole!”
“You started it!” They dissolve into laughter. Tess’s download finally finishes and she opens Fortnite. “I’m serious, though,” Paige continues thoughtfully. “I’ve missed so many games due to injuries. I want a healthy offseason. A healthy season in general. A natty.”
“I always forget you barely have two seasons worth of games played,” Tess admits. “Your stats are kinda crazy.”
Paige smiles smugly. “Super efficient, I know. Don’t get too jealous.”
Tess scoffs. “Every time I say something nice, I immediately regret it. You can never just say thank you, can you?”
“Thank you, Tess Kennedy, I can’t wait until we play each other in 2025 and I stat pad my 3-point percentages 'cause you can’t guard me,” Paige declares confidently. 
Tess’s jaw falls open. “I’m more likely to go #1 in the draft than you are to score on me,” she states. Paige raises a brow, as if to say really? and Tess rolls her eyes with an amused smile. “Okay, friend me or something. I don’t know how this works.”
“What’s your Playstation name?”
“tkennedy25.”
“Super original,” Paige says dryly, but quickly enough, she gets a friend request from pboogers1. “Don’t ask.” Tess accepts it with a wry smirk, as well as the party invitation. She watches as Paige’s character spawns on her screen, fully decked out. Tess’s character honestly looks like a loser next to hers, though it’s probably because her starting character is a man. “Where’s your drip at?”
“I don’t know,” Tess whines. “Why am I a man?”
“You gotta play more to get skins,” Paige supplies unhelpfully. “Are you ready to spend the next month playing Fortnite?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope! Ready up!”
Tess does just that. Her first few games are frustrating. She’s still getting accustomed to the button layout and the building in the game sucks, but Paige has endless patience (somehow) and Tess finds herself having more and more fun as Paige tries to guide her through it. She spends a fair bit of time begging for Paige to revive her (fall damage is not a fun concept) and even more time yelling that she’s getting shot at. They’re halfway through a match and making their way into the zone when they come across another duo.
“Flank them!”
“What the fuck does that even mean?!” Tess cries, trying to aim and shoot. Multitasking has never been so difficult.
“I’m at the top of the key,” Paige says. “Go to one of the wings.”
“What do you – ohhhhh.” Tess does as instructed and with both her and Paige firing, the other players are quickly taken down, leaving their loot. “Wait. Why was that actually a good call?”
“There may be hope for you yet, ma,” Paige says, placing a hand over her heart like she’s swooning, and it’s enough to make Tess crack a smile despite the flush on her cheeks.
When they take the win at the end of the round, Tess isn’t sure who’s more surprised – her or Paige. Tess drops her controller on her bed as she cheers – loudly – and Paige buries her head in her hands. If her knee was in better shape, she’s certain she’d be taking victory laps by now.
“I can’t believe you stole my fucking kill,” Paige says in near disbelief. “I did so much damage–”
“Oh, my God!” Tess screams, not processing any of Paige’s words. “We won! Did you see that?” she asks excitedly, barely hearing Paige’s initial response. She digs around in her blankets to locate her phone. When she finally fishes it out, Paige is already gazing at her through the screen, face and smile softening as she takes in Tess’s excitement.
“I did,” Paige confirms. Tess finally keys in on her stupid grin and she feels the flush travel the length of her body.
“I feel like you’re making fun of me.”
“I’m not!” Paige exclaims, and her grin widens. “Just proud, s’all. You went from not knowin’ where X was to gunning people down.”
“We make a good team,” Tess says nonchalantly, but, fuck, Bree is always right – she can’t keep the dumb expression off her face. Her eyes are bright with elation, with the satisfaction that comes with finally understanding something. Paige’s raw honesty and the simple ‘Just proud’ means something different coming from her, even if her pride stems from Tess sucking just a little less at a video game.
Paige’s smile turns tender, and instead of a witty remark, her voice is soft when she admits, “Yeah, we do,” and it makes the warmth creep onto Tess’s cheeks once more. “Couple more?” she asks hopefully. “I got nothin’ but time.”
And that’s how they spend the rest of their day, learning more and more about each other in between game queues and early game rotations. Tess eventually has to get off to save her eyesight and do some PT, but it’s hard to get rid of her smile even after she shuts off the console and she and Paige hang up. When she ventures out of her room for dinner, Tess tries her best to ignore her parents’ knowing smiles. The look in their eyes explains more than their words ever could, and briefly, as she’s layering salad on her plate, Tess thinks of a future where everything is less complicated, where she and Paige don’t have to put a fake label to something they’re not.
But that thought sounds suspiciously like something Tess isn’t ready to face, so she wipes it from her brain and drizzles the balsamic over her salad.
On Saturday, Paige introduces her to Drew. He’s off school for the weekend and Paige asked if she’d be interested in running trios with him. Tess honestly couldn’t think of a world where she’d say no to that, to learning more about who Paige Bueckers is outside of basketball and being a charming mix of annoying and unbelievably sweet. Looks aside, Tess would have assumed that Paige and Drew were fully blood related the way their mannerisms were exactly the same, all the way down to their sassy, “Alright now,” that never failed to make her laugh. Drew tells her all about how his classes are going and how he’s going to be better than Paige at basketball one day. Tess is pretty sure she and Drew become best friends when she tells him, “I think you’re already better than her,” and Paige gasps so indignantly that she almost chokes.
Tess is an only child, but with the speed at which she and Drew bond, she thinks he might become an honorary brother. She’s so focused on Drew that she misses the look of complete adoration on Paige’s face, the tender curve of her smile. She only registers something is off because Paige is unnaturally quiet – which never happens because Paige has a near inability to shut up. It was something Tess had to convince herself was annoying, but now she knows it’s just another part of who Paige is.
“Lock in, Paigey,” Drew tells her, realizing she’s unfocused, too, and his demand makes Tess erupt in laughter.
“Bro, I am locked in!” she exclaims.
The three of them load into the game and Drew drops a marker in the middle of the map. He looks at Paige with an expression that is menacing in the way only a younger sibling can ever be capable of. “You should pay more attention to the game,” he says innocently, “and less on your girlfriend.”
“Drew!” Paige cries, her face reddening. Tess feels the burn on her cheeks but she can’t stop herself from bursting into peals of laughter. Paige drops her controller long enough to bury her face in her hands in exasperation. Drew’s giggles are infectious, which makes it harder for Tess to get the air back in her lungs. “Bro, do not kill my girlfriend. I will hunt you down, swear.”
Drew sticks his thumb and index fingers up in an L shape, shoving his hand in Paige’s face, who pushes him back dramatically. “You both need to lock in,” Tess gripes, but she can’t wipe the smile off her face. “You promised me a win, Paigey.”
Paige scoffs, picking her controller back up. Together, the three of them begin their descent, along with dozens of other players, into the most populated location on the map. “Don’t trip, ma. You know I got you.”
Tess hums, unconvinced. Eventually, they do end up taking the win at the end of the match, which results in Drew showboating after he successfully stole the final kill from Paige. Tess giggles as she watches him run a victory lap around their living room over the phone. Paige meets Tess’s eyes, a fond expression on her face, although she rolls her eyes good-naturedly. The blonde isn’t a different person around her brother by any means. She’s still sarcastic, freakishly charming, but there’s an underlying softness in how she speaks to him that reminds Tess of how Paige speaks to her. She’s not soft because Drew is younger or needs coddling, but Tess suspects that Paige just treats him that way because Drew just means that much to her. There’s an immeasurable amount of care in her heart that most people miss simply because Paige likes to tease, but having grown up similarly, Tess is fine-tuned to the way Paige shows her love, fine-tuned to the way it manifests in their own friendship.
For the next month and some change, this is their routine. Tess and Paige spend hours on FaceTime playing Fortnite. Sometimes it’s with Drew, who yaps just as much as Paige does, but as the time goes by, Tess finds that she truly enjoys listening to the both of them go on. They talk about their blended family and their other siblings, Ryan and Lauren. Paige lights up when Tess asks more about them – it’s obvious that she’s an amazing older sister and her siblings clearly adore her. In turn, Tess opens up about her cousins. Her mother had fertility issues and Tess was their miracle baby; her cousins were the closest people she had to siblings, and she wouldn’t change a thing about it. One day, Drew declared that Tess is his sister now, too, and that was enough to shock Paige and make Tess tear up.
Other times, it’s just her and Paige hanging out alone. They talk about any and everything, poking fun at each other over the simplest things, laughing at stupid shit, and stirring the pot online when they share photos of their wins with cringey captions like, “my duo.”
Tess has never verbalized it before, but she knew it was just as true: Paige gets her. The knee, the on-court pressure, their other shared interests. The understanding between her and Kamilla is different from the one between her and Paige. She lacks the ability to define it, and honestly, she’s not sure how important the actual definition is anymore. She’s acutely aware of just how much of her life she’s inadvertently dampened by trying to understand something before experiencing it. The moral is that Paige has quickly become an integral facet in her life. That thought doesn’t scare her as much as it used to.
“Okay, so what do you notice that’s different about me?” Tess asks coyly one day after she props her phone up on her nightstand, taking a few cautious steps backwards. She places her hands on her hips, watching as Paige taps her chin dramatically.
“Wait, you’re not using your crutches anymore!” the blonde exclaims.
“Nope! Officially cleared.” Tess wiggles her leg, a beaming grin on her face. “Still got the brace, though.”
Their friendship progresses over the month and so does Tess’s recovery. Her wins easily become Paige’s wins. Paige celebrates her with just as much enthusiasm as she celebrates wins on the court, all teeth and wide smiles when Tess reports back with crucial developments in therapy or new developments with her knee. Tess is just as invested in Paige’s life as she is in hers; Tess “officially” meets some of her teammates when they’re on live one night and Paige forces her to join. They spend hours together, and judging by all of the screen recordings they’re tagged in the morning after, they clearly did a good job at pretending to be together (although Bree’s factual statement about Tess being unable to lie swims in Tess’s head on repeat).
When they’re not playing Fortnite or fucking around on the other games Paige forces her to try out, they’re building LEGO sets together. They were on FaceTime one night building two different sets: Tess with a tuxedo cat and Paige with a red rose, and the jokes were flowing. When Paige finished her rose, she displayed it proudly with a cheeky smile, holding it up to her phone screen as if she was giving it to Tess. While Tess rolled her eyes, she couldn’t curb her growing fondness for the blonde, and they both seemed to know it.
“What do we think about the white?” Tess asks another day, holding the aforementioned dress over her body, displaying it for Paige, who sits patiently on the other end of the phone.
The blonde raises an unimpressed brow. “Who all’s gonna be there?”
Tess levels her with an unimpressed look of her own, lowering the dress slightly. “P, it’s my cousin’s baby shower. Take a wild guess.”
Paige raises her hands defensively. “All I’m saying is the white looks good as hell on you. I might have to fly out to make sure no one brings a plus one who’s on some funny shit.”
Tess flushes, but rolls her eyes with a pleased expression. “The white’s nice, right? But look at this gold one I have, too.” Tess hangs the white dress back in her closet, returning with the gold one in tow – it has a slightly longer skirt but it’s a little more snug at the top. Paige is quiet for far too long. Tess narrows her eyes at her, stepping closer to the phone to see what’s going on only to realize Paige is just shamelessly checking her out. “Eyes up here, Romeo. White or gold?”
Paige clears her throat. “Can’t you just wear a paper bag or sum’?”
“To my cousin’s baby shower?” Tess deadpans.
Paige stares back at her with a serious expression. “Well, it’s either the paper bag or you figure out how to become ugly. Only one of those is possible.”
“You are no help at all. Let me call Sabrina –”
“Gold,” Paige interrupts quickly. “You don’t need Sabrina. She’s not even six foot.”
“And her height makes her unfit to pick out dresses, because…why?”
“She don’t see the vision like I do,” the blonde says simply, smirking in a self-satisfied way. “The gold? Immaculate.”
“Spell immaculate.”
Paige gasps indignantly. “Alright! It’s like you’ont even want my help. What am I even here for?”
Tess grins mischeviously at her, returning the dress back to the rack in her closet. “Clearly just to stare at me. You have no shame, Paige Bueckers.”
She raises her eyebrows suggestively, her expression appreciative. “Well, I mean–”
“Goodnight, Paige!”
Somewhere in between late night FaceTimes and breaking the Internet one Instagram comment at a time, their friendship seems to shift. It all becomes natural. She wakes up, responds to Paige’s timely Good morning! texts, reposts her stories and comments on her posts. The longer that this goes on, the less that Tess cares about whoever they’re supposed to be pretending for. Her brand deals are trusting her again and the trolls in her comments start disappearing. Her PT and therapy appointments are going well and she starts feeling like herself again. She’s sure she could credit that to Paige’s near constant presence in her life, but she knows the blonde well enough by now – Paige would emphasize that it’s all Tess. For a while, Tess was fearful of letting this get out of hand, but she’s coming to realize now that she doesn’t mind how their friendship has evolved.
But Tess has been around for long enough to realize that the ball drops sooner rather than later. Late at night in early June, Tess gasps awake with debilitating pain in her knee. It was unexpected – she hadn’t felt it like this in quite a while. Her exercises were going well and she was usually cautious to not overwork herself, but perhaps she did a little too much that day and it’s coming back to bite her in the ass. She groans in pain as she pushes herself into a sitting position, blinking the sleep out of her eyes and blindly reaching for the insulated cup full of ice that she keeps on her nightstand for times like this. Tess digs through her blankets until she finds her phone and turns the flashlight on. She pours some of the ice into a ziplock bag she keeps on hand, zipping it shut tightly and pressing it to her knee. It does little to soothe the pain, but it’s better than nothing, and her breathing becomes a little easier.
It’s only after she takes care of her knee that she finally registers the dryness of her mouth, the thirst for something to numb the pain. She falls back onto her pillows in equal parts frustration and grief – she thought she was past this. She’d made so much progress in therapy and figuring out how to fill her time with new hobbies and activities to distract her. She hadn’t felt an actual craving in a few days, but now, it feels like undoing a month’s worth of work. Tess reaches into the cup and shovels a handful of ice into her mouth. As she chews, it soothes the dryness and the cold is enough to shock her brain, but it’s not enough to regulate her. The pain in her knee combined with the urge to do something she’ll regret makes her feel like she’s drowning again. She could easily satiate it – her parents moved their liquor (not out of distrust, but to keep it out of mind), although she knows where the hiding spots are. She grew up with younger cousins. Knowing how to keep it out of reach was just a matter of responsibility. But now, that responsibility feels uncomfortably like temptation, and it takes everything in her to keep herself rooted to the bed.
Tess reaches for her phone before she even fully processes what she’s doing. She types in her passcode, swipes over to her contacts, and hits call. The phone only rings twice before the line clicks through.
“Tess?” Paige’s voice is quiet, but rough with sleep. Part of Tess feels guilty for waking her up, although the other part of her knows that Paige would have been upset if she didn’t call.
“Hey,” Tess says softly, unconsciously relaxing.
“Are you okay? What’s up?” Paige sounds a little more awake now, shifting around on her bed, and Tess exhales. She hates how much better she does feel just from hearing her voice. Her knee still aches but her brain clears. It’s like coming back up for air after diving.
“I’m sorry for waking you–”
“Don’t,” Paige says firmly, interrupting her. “What's wrong, ma?”
Tess smiles, forgetting Paige can’t see her. “I woke up and I was in so much pain,” she admits in a near whisper, listening to the sound of Paige’s breathing. “Felt like I was tearing my ACL all over again. And then the cravings came back. I was doing so well, like I was improving, but… I’m frustrated and exhausted and my knee hurts so bad, and, I don’t know, I just wanted to hear your voice.” Her confession rings out in the silence of her room. She tries to ignore the way her voice cracks, but her honesty makes the weight on her shoulders feel a little lighter.
“You know you can call me whenever,” Paige says after a while, her voice soft. “I’ll answer.”
“I know.”
“You are improving,” she continues, trying to find the words. “This isn’t a set back, ma, just part of recovery. It’s never gonna be linear. Some nights are gonna be harder than others. But that doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It just means you gotta fight a little harder.”
“I don’t want to fight anymore,” Tess admits. “I just want to be okay again.”
“You will be,” Paige says confidently, endlessly patient. “Tess Kennedy doesn’t lose to the same opponent twice, right?”
Tess chuckles. “That was kind of a bar.” Paige hums in agreement. “Thank you for picking up.”
Paige makes a noise in the back of her throat, like the idea that she wouldn’t pick up is preposterous. “Always, Tess, you know I got you.” Tess can’t stop the slow smile from spreading across her face. “You want me to stay?”
Tess opens her mouth, hesitating, but reminds herself to be honest. “Can you? Please?”
Paige hums again, her voice sounding sleepy, and Tess relaxes as Paige begins to ramble. “Lauren and Ryan are comin’ up this week. We’re just gonna hang, do a big dinner and shit. I wish they lived closer, but I mean, I’m in Storrs most of the year and they’re getting older so they’ll be goin’ off to college, too. I just really miss them a lot. I think you’d like them. Maybe you can fly up for the holidays and I can introduce you. My parents ask about you. They might like you more than they like me, which is insane…like these past 21 years didn’t mean anything to them.”
“Poor baby,” Tess teases in a soft murmur. She hears Paige snort.
“Are you free, um, fuck – on the holidays?” Tess listens to Paige shuffle around, a smile growing on her lips. “Do you celebrate?”
“Thanksgiving, no; Christmas, yes,” Tess responds. “My parents and I usually just watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV and order a pizza.”
“Lemme fly you out for Thanksgiving? Meet my family?”
Tess hardly has to give it a second thought. “Sounds perfect to me,” she says. “You wanna fly out here after Christmas? New Year’s in New York?”
“Whatever you want,” Paige replies. “You’ll have to give me that insider Kennedy knowledge. How do I get your parents to like me?”
Tess laughs, feeling her eyes droop. “You don’t have to worry about that, trust. My mom thinks you’re good for me. And my dad thinks you’re the worst kept secret in the history of Tess Kennedy’s worst kept secrets.”
“Yeah?” Paige huffs out a quiet laugh. “And what does Tess Kennedy think? Am I good for her?”
Tess struggles to stifle her growing smile as she answers coyly. “What do you think?”
She can almost visualize Paige’s grin. “I make you smile. I think ‘m doing somethin’ right.”
And for that, Tess truly has no rebuttal, embracing the warmth that creeps up her cheeks. Paige keeps speaking and Tess tries her best to stay awake to listen, but the timbre of Paige’s voice reverberates throughout her room and lulls her to sleep. It makes her forget about the ache in her knee and the chaos in her mind. Paige’s soft laugh as she recounts her first dunk is the last thing Tess hears before she succumbs to a blessedly peaceful slumber.
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antimonyandthyme · 2 months ago
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2k, paul/carlos
(written after the c2 / paul vid, and this post came out with the brilliant @formulahs suggesting an auction LMAO)
He goes without the expectation of buying anything. He looks forward to a good time, even with all the cameras around. The shoes his stylist wants him to go in are fanciful, shiny monstrosities, and he nearly insists for the sneakers to stay on. Then he remembers that he’s technically there for Ferrari, and dutifully swaps them out.
Technically. Paul can go for other reasons too. Charles is lovely, if a little vacant around him. Carlos is. Carlos is, he’s—
It’s early days and Paul isn’t one for poetry, and yet here he is. He hopes to god he isn’t being obvious. Not to the staff when he spots Carlos and lights up like a schoolboy with a crush. Not to Charles, when he holds on to Carlos for a handshake that’s a little longer than necessary. Definitely not obvious to whoever watches these videos, when he mouths all of the answers to Carlos.
Can’t deny having a favourite. He can turn his nose up all he wants at the reputation that follows any young actor these days, but he can’t deny his appreciation for nice things. There are no trophies in his world—yet, just good food, good drink, good people. Beautiful people. For the third time since they rolled cameras, Paul is caught staring. Carlos always looks slightly lost, staring back, like he’s trying to figure Paul out, before he ducks his head and curls up. Large hands clasped in his lap. Maybe a little shy. Maybe a little pleased.
“He’s a little expensive,” Charles says, “but you should be able to afford him.”
Paul attempts to tamper his face into something palatable. Ungracious of Charles to lay out his desires so plainly. And then in the same breath insinuate that his ability to pay might not stack up. Somewhere past Paul’s eyeline, Carlos is returning his mic to the staff with a relieved smile. Unpacking his spine into something looser, now that the cameras are off. He tips his head at Paul, eyes inquisitive, as if guessing that they were discussing him.
Paul has to look away, guilty.
“I didn’t plan on buying,” he says. It’s the truth. Mostly. In his defense, it wasn’t like Ferrari were being subtle about shoving them in a room together, especially after they made this tradition known. It’s like asking someone not to think of elephants. On command, a safari blooms open in Paul’s mind.
Charles shrugs. “We’ll have another event later. Someone else probably will.”
The flippant way Charles speaks about it grates against Paul’s skin. He can’t tell if Charles is trying to rile him up. The thought of Carlos having to hang off a faceless person’s arm makes distaste churn so violently in his belly that it manifests into an ache.
“Carlos wouldn’t mind, if it’s you.”
“How would you know,” Paul grits out. The mental fidget spinner he has for Charles keeps going around in circles, flickering from Empty to Dickhead to Helpful, maybe?
“Ah, he’s used to it no? People looking at him like that.” Charles’s voice dips low, like he’s sharing a secret. Paul’s an actor for fuck’s sake. He knows when someone’s selling him something, a mediocre contract, a shitty line. Still, he can’t help leaning in closer, puts his ear right next to Charles’s mouth.
Further away, Carlos’s mouth twists down, his gaze shutters. Just a minute, baby, Paul wants to tell him. Just—give me a minute.
“He looks back, when it’s you,” Charles says, and Paul’s done convincing himself otherwise.
--
They tell him, in one of the most bewildering conversations Paul’s ever had, that Carlos will be delivered in the evening, at whatever time suits Paul best. Delivered, like he’s some kind of package. What the fuck, sings one part of his brain. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what have you just done. The other part, the part that’s mostly primitive and hedonistic, somehow takes charge and sends him off on multiple errands. He gets his hair trimmed, just a little at the sides. He buys some wine. He changes into the sneakers. He considers getting another tattoo, before he snaps himself out of it.
Poetry and tattoos. Paul’s lost his mind.
The time in between gives him room to vacillate between wanting to feed the open maw within him and growing shamefully aware about the shape of his yearning. He hadn’t realized he had enough space within his ribcage to stuff another man entire. There are so many other ways he could have gone about this. But he doesn’t have Carlos’s number. He can’t text. Even if he could, Paul wouldn’t know what to say.
Tick tock, tick tock. Paul rearranges furniture, door dashes some flowers, after spending half an hour reading up on flower language, interspersed with vapid scrolling of his socials. Tick tock.
By the time Carlos arrives, he’s in a bit of a wreck. People who move in Carlos’s world would certainly be familiar with Ferrari’s clauses, and would know how to act. The muted greeting Carlos gives doesn’t help either. He’s dressed up but down, in a plain, almost translucent shirt that leaves little to imagination. He toes off his shoes with an unconscious gracefulness, and comes to stand in front of Paul. He’s waxed, which Paul knows, just from being so close to him this afternoon, had to have happened in that space where Paul was questioning all his life choices. He looks wonderful, except for the fact that he looks so visibly uncomfortable.
“Do you,” Paul starts. Swallowing around the dry lump in his throat. “Do you want something to drink?”
Carlos fidgets. “If you’d like,” he says.
That’s, ow.
They’d assured him, again and again, that Carlos always had the final say, but his teeth are buried in his lower lip, hard enough to blanch, and his toes dig into the carpet like a lifeline. It’s not like Paul’s hung out with Carlos more than a handful of times, but it’s hard to ever picture him in such distress. Carlos is—larger, than what he’d ever seen on screen. You have to witness him in person, to understand.
Faced with this shrunken version of Carlos, Paul can’t bring himself to continue.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks. “I really am. I assumed you’d want—I’m sorry.”
Carlos flinches, jerks his head up. “Wait.”
“It’s alright,” Paul says. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You could just leave. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Wait,” Carlos says, more urgently. “I don’t want to—” His voice grows small. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Of course not,” Paul nearly yelps. “But you’re. You’re…”
Carlos’s cheeks are very pink. His toes tap an erratic beat on the floor. His hands are clasped in front of him, almost in supplication.
“You’re nervous!”
“Yes!” Carlos blurts out, before looking very mortified. “I’m. Ah, fuck. Paul, I’m never. Never like this.”
Tension bleeds out of him. Something so relieved escapes out of Paul’s mouth in an embarrassing giggle. “Carlos. You should have just said.”
“I don’t know why…” Carlos trails off, scrubbing at the back of his neck vigorously. “With you, I’m like this. I don’t know. I want.” His toes tap some more. “I want to.”
“Want to?” Paul says, coming closer, watching Carlos sway in eagerly.
“Make it worth it,” Carlos mutters. “What you paid.”
Paul groans. He wants to shake Carlos. Then decides, hey, he actually can shake Carlos. Gentle hands around his shoulders, shaking him like a beloved ragdoll. “Oh my god. You can’t be serious.”
“It’s a lot of money,” Carlos protests, but the corners of his mouth are turned up now.
“Shut up, you’re ridiculous. Do you think I would have even paid that if, if I. Oh my god, Carlos. You have to know, right?”
“Know what,” Carlos says, enjoying being a little shit now that they’re joking.
“Can’t take my eyes off you, when you’re in the room,” Paul says. “I thought I was being obvious.”
“You were,” Carlos says brightly. “I thought I was obvious right back.”
“Okay, so. So why are you—?”
Carlos’s face twists. “This season has been. Ah.” He shakes his head reluctantly. “You don’t have to listen to this.”
“Go on,” Paul says. “Come on, tell me. Twelve hours of your time, remember?”
“Been hard to live up to expectations, this year,” Carlos says. “I didn’t want that with you.”
“You are so.” Stupid. Hot. Stupidly hot. “I’m going to shake you some more,” Paul says. “I cannot believe you.”
“That’s fine,” Carlos says. He goes along with the shaking, in a way that shows exactly how much of his body he’s putting into Paul’s hands. A neck as thick as that and he’s somehow limp under Paul’s touch. That’s, well. That’s a lot. “Then maybe, maybe. You could kiss me?”
Yes, yes. Yesssssssss, sings both parts of Paul’s brain. Yes.
Carlos is still now, expectant. A long, lean line of muscle, rooted to the ground, that Paul can trace hungrily with his eyes. He could pull at Carlos with all his strength and Carlos would not move, if he did not want to. But when Paul nudges a finger under his jaw, Carlos goes, looks up, right at him. Leans in.
--
He’s a greedy little thing, isn’t he. Swallows Paul with ease, every which way. He makes insane noises, deep, and guttural when Paul fucks him hard, high, and breathless when Paul thumbs at his nipples. Carlos clutches at Paul like it’d physically hurt to let go. Everything he’s meant to do, he does and is wonderful at it. And somehow, he’d managed to assume he wouldn’t live up.
“Unbelievable,” Paul says to the ceiling, some time after he’d come so viciously it felt like he’d been wrung out like a dish towel. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Are you still mad at me,” Carlos says, amused.
“Yes.”
“Ay, don’t be,” Carlos says, softly. “I really was nervous.”
Paul turns on his side, hand supporting his head as he gazes at Carlos. Crazy intimate. Terrible, the way he’s setting himself up for the worst time. He can’t bring himself to care.
��You’re allowed to stay the night?”
“Twelve hours,” Carlos says. “You can ask me to do anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything,” Carlos confirms. “Sleep at the foot of the bed, if you want.”
Why would he even say such a—Paul is going to shake him again. If he can unpretzel himself from all that easy comfort following an earth-shattering orgasm. He nudges at Carlos’s hip instead. It’s the closest body part he can find.
“I kick in my sleep,” Paul says seriously, delighting in the way that makes Carlos giggle. He pats the scant space next to him. “I’d rather you be right here.”
“I’ll be right here,” Carlos says, then clears his throat. He probably was just parroting Paul, didn’t mean for it to sound so much like a promise.
But Paul… is also a greedy little thing, isn’t he? So greedy he paid for it, and so greedy he wants more now that he’s had a taste.
“And after?” Paul says. Will you be…?
“After,” Carlos says, “after Las Vegas is Qatar. Then Abu Dhabi.”
“Fine,” Paul says. As let downs go, this is pretty devastating, but he’ll live. It’s not like he had expected—never mind.
Carlos shifts. His jaw unlocks, then clicks back. “You get discounts, after, did you know that? Very good discounts.”
“Oh,” Paul says, a little wobbly. “Do I?”
“Yes. And after Abu Dhabi, it’s. It’s free.”
“Ah.” His chest is squeezing tighter than a fist. The space in his ribcage! Expanding and contracting to accommodate whatever Carlos sees fit. He lets himself imagine pressing up close to Carlos in a quiet apartment, pulling out every sound in Carlos's vocabulary with time, unlimited, on his hands. Buying flowers he knows for sure Carlos likes.
“I guess I need to stick around."
“Guess so,” Carlos says, smiles. “Make it worth your while.”
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27moremoons · 24 days ago
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Quds News Network:
Al Jazeera journalist Hossam Shabat posted on Twitter:
“I am writing to you as the final appeal and this message is to the world from the north of the Gaza Strip:
Northern Gaza is being annihilated and Kamal Adwan Hospital is subjected to intense bombardment and shelling, as well as patients and medical staff being starved.
All the necessities of life have been damaged by the Israeli occupation, so there is no food, no water, no ambulance services, or civil defense, and the bombing has been going on for about 80 days. What is the world waiting for?”
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brunchable · 4 months ago
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Winter King, Part Three : Cruel Summer. . .
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Pairings: King AU Bucky Barnes x Out of place Queen Reader Words: 17.4K Themes: Royaltycore AU, love and power, Arranged Marriage, georgian/regency era misogyny, profanity, Eventual Smut. Summary: Y/N finds herself struggling to prove that she’s more than just a pawn in this dangerous game of power. But when Winnifred demands answers, it’s not just Y/N’s loyalty to the king being tested—it’s her resolve to carve out a place for herself in a world determined to see her fail. A/N: Inspired by Queen Charlotte. I must say I love the chase scene between Steve and Y/N here HEHEHE. Let me know what's your fave scene? I'm actually curious about what ya'll want to see next ;) credits to the gif owners, it ain't mine.
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Your fingers played nervously along the rim of your teacup, your gaze flicking to the tall windows that overlooked the estate gardens. It should have been a peaceful view. Instead, it only reminded you of how small you felt within the grand expanse of this new life.
Opposite you, the Dowager Queen, Winnifred Barnes, was the very picture of feminine authority. Even in the soft light, she seemed to carry the shadows of experience with her, the weight of a crown long set aside but never truly removed. Her eyes, a steely blue that seemed to pierce through all pretenses, were trained on you with an intensity that made it impossible to look away.
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” you murmured politely, dipping your head in a respectful nod as she took her seat.
“Y/N,” she acknowledged with a curt nod, her gaze lingering on you for a beat longer than necessary. She motioned to the staff, who swiftly poured the tea and set delicate plates of pastries before you both. The clinking of porcelain was the only sound in the room until the servants exited, leaving you alone in silence.
Winnifred took a slow sip of her tea, her eyes never leaving your face. “I thought it best we have breakfast today,” she began, her tone measured but holding an edge that made your heart quicken. “After all, there’s much to discuss following last night’s... eventful proceedings.”
You tried to keep your expression neutral, but the knot in your stomach tightened. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
She set her cup down, her gaze on you sharpening. “How did you find your first night as a married woman?”
It was a simple question, and yet difficult to answer. You hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. The truth of it all was still a bitter pill to swallow—that you’d spent your wedding night alone, while Bucky had left for his estate in Annecy. A flash of disappointment coursed through you, but you tamped it down, forcing a polite smile.
“It was... different,” you said cautiously, choosing each word with care. “We still have much to learn about one another.”
Winnifred’s brow arched ever so slightly, a glimmer of disapproval, or perhaps curiosity—lighting in her gaze. 
“Different, is it?” She leaned forward slightly, her voice lowering to a deceptively soft tone. “You mean to say that he left.”
Your breath caught, but you nodded, refusing to drop your gaze. “Yes, Your Majesty. He thought it best, given the circumstances.”
For a moment, the Dowager Queen was silent, her eyes studying you. Then, slowly, she tilted her head, the corners of her lips curving into something that might have been a smile—if it weren’t so sharp. 
“And you... let him go?” she asked, each word pronounced with a chilling clarity that made your chest tighten.
You blinked, taken aback. “I—”
“You didn’t make him stay?” she pressed, her tone holding a note of challenge. “You are his wife now, Y/N. The Queen of this realm. It is your duty to keep him by your side.”
The words struck like a lash, the implications behind them sinking deep. You opened your mouth, struggling for a response that wouldn’t sound weak or defensive. 
“I... I didn’t think it was my place to—”
“Your place?” Winnifred interrupted, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. “Your place is precisely what you make of it. Do not expect him—or anyone else—to show you the respect you deserve unless you demand it.”
Her gaze bore into you, and you felt yourself shrinking. There was no malice in her words, no cruelty—only a harsh kind of truth that left you reeling.
“I didn’t want to—” You paused, taking a steadying breath. “I didn’t want to force him. We... barely know each other, Your Majesty. I thought it best to give him space.”
Winnifred leaned back slightly, her eyes never leaving your face. “Space?” she echoed, her voice low. “You have given him space, Y/N. Now watch how quickly it turns into distance.”
She was right, of course. Bucky’s absence already felt like a chasm between you, one that you weren’t sure how to bridge.
“You are a queen now,” Winnifred continued softly, the steel in her gaze tempered by something gentler—something almost like understanding. “But more importantly, you are his wife. And being a wife means more than simply standing by his side in public. It means holding your ground in private. Pushing him when he needs to be pushed. Because if you don’t...” 
She trailed off, her eyes searching yours. “If you don’t, then others will step in to fill that space you so graciously allowed.”
The implication hung in the air like a warning, and you swallowed hard, the reality of her words washing over you. This was about more than just Bucky leaving for the night. It was about control, power, and the dynamics that would shape your marriage—and the kingdom.
You straightened your spine, meeting her gaze with as much resolve as you could muster. “I understand, Your Majesty. I won’t make the same mistake again.”
Winnifred’s lips curved into a faint smile—one that was both approving and calculating. “Good,” she murmured. “Because while my son may be king, it is the queen who sets the tone of the court.”
She lifted her teacup once more, taking a measured sip. “Now, tell me what else happened last night. Did he say anything that would suggest his intentions regarding your marriage?”
You hesitated, recalling the heated exchange with Bucky, and a message passed on to you shortly after he left. “He... spoke about needing time,” you said quietly. “Time to adjust. But he assured me that I am the only one he’s loyal to.”
“Did he now?” Winnifred’s gaze darkened, but there was a glimmer of something like pride in her eyes. “That is a start, at least. But loyalty is not the same as affection.”
You nodded slowly, unsure of how to respond.
“Listen to me, Y/N,” Winnifred continued, her tone soft but unyielding. “He may keep his distance now, but do not let it remain that way. You must find a way to close that gap. The sooner you do, the sooner the court will fall in line. Show them that you are a force to be reckoned with—both as a queen and as his wife.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Winnifred’s gaze softened just a fraction, and she set her teacup down gently, fingers tracing the delicate handle as if recalling a distant memory. 
“There was a time,” she began, her voice quieter now, “when I, too, thought loyalty was enough. When I believed that if I simply did as expected—kept quiet, remained the dutiful wife—things would naturally fall into place.”
You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in her tone. Winnifred rarely spoke of herself, of her past. It was as if every part of her life before the crown was locked away, buried beneath layers of duty and decorum.
“But I learned,” she continued, her eyes taking on a distant, almost wistful look, “that being quiet, being passive, only serves to diminish your place in the marriage. To let others dictate your worth.”
She leaned forward slightly, her gaze locking onto yours with a newfound intensity. “So, I stopped being passive. I took control—not just for myself, but for the kingdom. And for him.” Her expression softened, but there was a sadness there, too. “Because even kings can falter. Even kings need someone to remind them of their place. Their worth. Their responsibilities.”
You stared at her, feeling as though you were seeing the Dowager Queen in a new light—a woman who had fought for her own place in a world determined to silence her.
“What I’m saying, Y/N,” she murmured softly, “is that you cannot let James dictate the course of your marriage. You must stand firm, push him if need be, and make him see you. Truly see you. If you don’t, you will always be the girl who stood in the shadows, watching others take your place.”
You swallowed hard, the force of her words settling deep within you. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I won’t forget that.”
Winnifred nodded, a small, approving smile playing on her lips. “See that you don’t. Because once you have his attention—once he realizes the strength you hold—he will never let you go.”
She straightened, the softness in her gaze receding, replaced once more by the composed authority of a queen. “Now, eat, my dear. You’ll need your strength for whatever comes next.”
And as you reached for your fork, her advice settled over you like an invisible crown—one you’d have to wear with as much grace and power as you could muster. Because from now on, this marriage would be yours to shape, yours to control.
× × × ×
High ceilings of the grand council chamber stretched above, adorned with elaborate chandeliers that cast glittering reflections onto the polished marble floors. The long, gleaming table in the center of the room was flanked by dark wooden chairs, each occupied by men whose expressions were masks of restrained curiosity and barely concealed tension.
The Dowager Queen, stood at the head of the table, her regal posture unyielding as she faced the most powerful men in the kingdom of Montelune. Prime Minister Nick Fury, with his one good eye keenly observing every subtle shift in the room, sat closest to her, his fingers steepled thoughtfully. Around him were the Duke of Hanover, Lord Pierce, and Lord Rumlow—all high-ranking noblemen with a vested interest in the stability and future of the crown.
The men exchanged uneasy glances, their eyes occasionally flickering toward the dowager as if uncertain how to broach the subject that loomed over them like a dark cloud.
Finally, it was Fury who cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Your Majesty, I trust you are well-rested?” His voice was smooth, but the weight of unspoken questions hung heavy in the air.
Winnifred’s gaze was cool as she regarded him, one eyebrow arching ever so slightly. “Rested enough,” she replied crisply. “Thank you, Prime Minister.”
Another awkward silence settled over the room, and the noblemen shifted uncomfortably in their seats. There was something almost comical about seeing men of such power and influence falter in the presence of a single woman, but Winnifred knew the source of their unease. It wasn’t just her title or her presence that made them wary—it was the nature of the matter at hand.
Lord Pierce leaned forward, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally managed to speak. “Your Majesty, we... we thought it prudent to gather today to, ah... discuss certain affairs.”
The Dowager Queen’s lips twitched in a faint semblance of a smile. “Affairs?” she repeated softly, her tone laced with just enough amusement to make him squirm.
“Yes, well,” Pierce continued, his face reddening slightly, “it is... as you might understand, a rather delicate matter. One that pertains to... er, ensuring the continuation of the royal line.”
Winnifred’s eyes narrowed, and she tilted her head, considering him with a look that could cut glass. “Are you inquiring whether the consummation of the marriage has taken place, Lord Pierce?” she asked bluntly.
The man’s flush deepened, and he coughed awkwardly. “Well, not in so many words, Your Majesty, but—”
“Say what you mean, Pierce,” Fury interjected dryly, his gaze unwavering as he looked between the dowager and the other noblemen. “We all know why we’re here. There’s no need to dance around it.”
“Indeed,” the Dowager Queen agreed, a steely edge creeping into her voice. “And let us dispense with the niceties, shall we? The answer is no. Nothing happened last night.”
Her words fell like a stone into a still pond, sending ripples of shock and discomfort through the room. The men exchanged uneasy looks, clearly taken aback by her directness.
Fury’s gaze remained steady, though his jaw tightened. “That is... concerning, Your Majesty. Considering the importance of securing the royal line—”
“Considering the importance of the king’s reputation,” Lord Rumlow cut in, his voice low and gruff. “If word gets out that he didn’t—”
“That he didn’t perform his marital duties?” Winnifred finished for him, her voice cold. “Yes, I am aware of the implications, Lord Rumlow.”
The silence that followed was almost suffocating. The men seemed at a loss, unsure how to proceed with such a delicate subject in the presence of a lady—no matter that the lady in question was the Dowager Queen herself.
Lord Pierce cleared his throat again, clearly floundering. “Perhaps, Your Majesty, there are... reasons for the delay. A need for time, perhaps, to... adjust?”
Winnifred’s gaze turned icy. “Time is not a luxury we have, Lord Pierce. Nor is it a cure for whatever holds my son back.”
Fury leaned forward, his expression thoughtful. “Your Majesty, with all due respect, if His Majesty is reluctant... might there be another way to ensure that the matter is handled discreetly? Some form of... encouragement?”
“Encouragement?” The Dowager Queen’s voice was deceptively calm, but there was a dangerous glint in her eyes that made the noblemen stiffen.
“What exactly are you suggesting, Prime Minister?”
Fury held her gaze, unfazed. “I’m suggesting that perhaps His Majesty needs to be reminded of his responsibilities. He must be made to understand that this is not merely about him and his bride—it is about the future of Montelune. The stability of the crown.”
Winnifred’s expression did not soften, but she gave a single, sharp nod. “I am well aware of that, Prime Minister. But James—” She paused, catching herself, and then continued more firmly. “The King has always been... stubborn.”
“Then perhaps he needs a push,” Lord Rumlow muttered under his breath.
Winnifred’s gaze snapped to him, and he immediately looked away, his bravado fading under her scrutiny.
“A push?” she echoed icily. “Do you honestly believe pushing the King of Montelune will achieve anything other than further resistance?”
The men fell silent, and Fury’s shoulders tensed, his expression tight with frustration. “What would you have us do, Your Majesty? If the King refuses to—”
“The King does not refuse,” Winnifred interrupted, her voice ringing with authority. “He hesitates. There is a difference.” She paused, drawing herself up to her full height, her gaze cutting across the room like a blade. “But as I told you, this matter has already been addressed. The Queen will handle it.”
There was a collective pause as her words sank in. The Queen? Their glances darted back and forth, disbelief and confusion clear on their faces. It was Lord Pierce who finally voiced what they were all thinking.
“Your Majesty, the Queen is... well, she’s rather—”
“Inexperienced,” Rumlow supplied curtly, a hint of disdain lacing his tone.
“Meek,” Pierce added, though he looked apologetic.
The Dowager Queen’s gaze hardened. “You underestimate her.”
The Prime Minister’s lips pressed into a thin line. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, the Queen is still unproven. This court is filled with those who would tear her down the moment they sense weakness. To place this matter in her hands—”
“Is exactly what needs to be done,” Winnifred interrupted, her voice like steel. “She is not a child. She is a queen. And she must learn to wield her power—now, not later.”
The noblemen exchanged uneasy glances, clearly unconvinced. The silence that followed was thick with skepticism, and it was all too clear that they did not share the Dowager Queen’s confidence in Y/N.
But Winnifred stood her ground, unflinching. “Mark my words, gentlemen,” she said softly, a dangerous edge to her voice. “You may doubt her now, but she will prove you wrong. She will make you see her strength.”
“And if she doesn’t?” Lord Pierce asked quietly.
“She will,” Winnifred replied, the certainty in her voice absolute. “Because I have seen it. I know what she’s capable of.”
Another tense silence fell over the room, the men still wary but unwilling to argue further.
“Very well, Your Majesty,” Fury said at last, his tone resigned but respectful. “We will... defer to your judgment. For now.”
“Good.” Winnifred’s gaze swept over the room once more, as if daring anyone to question her again. “Now, unless there are other matters to attend to, I suggest we all turn our focus back to ensuring the stability and prosperity of Montelune. The rest... will be handled in due time.”
With that, she rose gracefully from her chair, the noblemen following suit. And as she left the room, her back straight and her gaze unflinching, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the Dowager Queen was a force to be reckoned with—one who would see this matter resolved, no matter what it took.
Once the door closed behind her, the men shared a look of relief mixed with lingering anxiety.
Lord Pierce let out a shaky breath. “I don’t envy the queen one bit,” he muttered.
Fury nodded slowly, his gaze still fixed on the door. “No, I don’t imagine many would,” he murmured. “Because if there’s one person who can push her to act, it’s the Dowager Queen herself.”
× × × ×
It had been five long days since you’d last seen Bucky, and the estate that was meant to be your new home felt more like a gilded cage with each passing moment. Every day unfolded like clockwork, precise and unchanging, as if someone had wound up a porcelain doll and set it down to perform its routine.
You would rise from your cold, empty bed, get dressed in yet another resplendent gown chosen by the maids, and eat breakfast alone in the grand dining room. Lunch, the same—only the time of day changed, the vast silence swallowing every bite of food, every clink of porcelain against silver. Dinner was no different, the emptiness of the long table a stark reminder that you were isolated, adrift in a sea of marble and gold with no anchor in sight.
Even your attempts to fill the hours felt hollow. Books, once a source of comfort, blurred into meaningless words on a page. The piano keys beneath your fingers, no matter how delicately or forcefully you played, only echoed through the cavernous halls, sounding less like music and more like a lament. You’d tried wandering the estate, but at every turn, there was a servant or guard with polite words and unyielding eyes.
“You mustn’t go out, Your Grace. It’s for your safety.”
Your safety. The words grated against you like sandpaper, their false concern suffocating. Safety from what? From whom? No one would say. No one ever did. And every day, you could feel your sanity slipping, unraveling thread by thread, as the confines of the estate closed in around you.
And now, standing at one of the grand windows overlooking the manicured gardens, you turned abruptly, spotting Scott lingering nearby as always. The man had become a constant presence, a shadow, his careful attention both protective and irritating. You narrowed your eyes at him, frustration bubbling up like a storm.
“Scott, I want to invite Lady Natasha, Lady Wanda, and Lady Pepper for tea tomorrow morning,” you stated, your tone clipped and firm, already expecting resistance. “Make the arrangements.”
Scott’s expression shifted, a mixture of unease and hesitation. He lowered his gaze briefly before speaking, his voice quiet but unwavering. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Your Majesty.”
Your brow furrowed. “And why not?”
“My Queen… you’re still within the period of your honeymoon.” He chose his words carefully, as if speaking too freely might shatter the fragile peace that lingered between you. “It’s traditional for the queen to remain in seclusion during this time.”
“Traditional?” The word tasted bitter on your tongue, like bile. You let out a derisive laugh, shaking your head incredulously. “What, precisely, is there to seclude myself for? The king is nowhere to be found, and I—” You broke off, swallowing the sharp edge of your anger. “I am not permitted to invite anyone into my own home?”
Scott straightened slightly, his discomfort plain as day. “It’s not a matter of permission, Your Majesty. It’s simply how things are done. You are to stay within the estate until the period of seclusion ends.”
“Customary.” You echoed the word again, as if tasting its bitterness for the first time. You let out a short, sharp laugh that was entirely devoid of humor. “The king can do whatever he pleases while I am expected to sit idly and await his return. Is that what you mean?”
Scott’s mouth opened, but no words came. He simply stared at you, his gaze flicking nervously to the maids who were also watching, wide-eyed and tense.
You took a step closer, your voice softening into a dangerous whisper. “Tell me, Scott—how long is this period of seclusion supposed to last?”
“Until the tenth day after the wedding, Your Highness,” he murmured, lowering his gaze respectfully. “It is meant to provide you time to acclimate to your new role and… to reflect upon the responsibilities that come with it.”
“Reflect,” you repeated bitterly. “All I’ve done is reflect, Scott. Reflect on how little control I have over my own life. Reflect on how I have been shuttled around like a prized possession instead of a human being. Reflect on the fact that I have no voice, no say—no freedom.”
Silence fell over the room, the weight of your words hanging in the air like a dense fog. Scott shifted uncomfortably, his gaze darting to the floor.
“Your Majesty,” he said quietly, “these traditions are not meant to confine you, but to protect you. To ensure your position as queen is established and—”
“Stop,” you cut him off, your tone ice-cold. “If you’re going to say one more thing about traditions or customs or protection, I would rather you not speak at all.”
Scott’s mouth snapped shut, and he gave a small, stiff nod. “As you wish, my queen.”
“Good,” you murmured, turning back to the window, your gaze hard and unyielding. “Leave me.”
You didn’t look back as Scott and the maids slowly withdrew from the room, the door closing softly behind them. The silence that followed was almost suffocating, and you stood there, staring out at the gardens that were just as closed off to you as the rest of the world.
No freedom. No voice. No choices.
× × × ×
Later in the evening, as you sat restlessly by the fireplace, staring at the flames that offered no warmth, the door to the drawing room opened, and Captain Steve Rogers stepped inside. His tall frame seemed to fill the space, and for a moment, you allowed yourself a flicker of hope. Perhaps he’d brought news, or perhaps—just perhaps—he’d come to take you away from this unending monotony.
“My Queen,” he greeted formally, bowing his head slightly.
“Captain,” you acknowledged, trying to keep the edge of desperation from your voice. “It’s good to see a familiar face.”
He offered a small, sympathetic smile as he approached. “I apologize for not visiting sooner, Your Majesty. Things have been... busy.”
Busy. The word sent a fresh wave of bitterness through you. Busy for everyone but you, it seemed. You forced a smile, gesturing for him to sit. “No need to apologize, Captain. But tell me—where is the King? I haven’t heard from him since I arrived.”
Steve’s jaw tightened imperceptibly, his gaze flickering toward the floor before meeting yours again. “He’s still in Annecy, My Queen.”
“I see.” you said softly, the name foreign on your tongue. “How exactly is Annecy?”
“It’s about a quarter of a day’s ride south, through the forest and along the main road,” Steve explained, his voice careful, measured. “It’s a secluded place, one he visits often when he needs to... reflect.”
The way he spoke made something inside you snap, your control fraying at the edges. 
“Reflect,” you murmured, the word a bitter taste in your mouth. All this time, he had been in Annecy, brooding and reflecting, while you languished here, alone and forgotten. The distance between you felt more like an abyss.
“How would one get there, exactly?” you asked, feigning nonchalance. “Just in case I wanted to... send a letter, perhaps?”
Steve’s brows furrowed slightly, suspicion flickering in his blue eyes. “It’s not safe for you to travel alone, my queen. The roads can be treacherous.”
“I’m not asking for permission to travel, Captain. Merely inquiring out of curiosity,” you replied, your tone light but your heart pounding in your chest. “If I were to send a messenger, I would need to know the way.”
He hesitated, but then sighed, relenting. “It’s a straight path through the eastern gates of the estate, then along the main road until you reach the first fork. You’d take the left path, following it through the forest until you cross the river at the stone bridge. From there, it’s just another few hours until you reach the edge of Annecy.”
You nodded thoughtfully, your gaze dropping to the floor, committing his words to memory. “Thank you, Captain. That’s... very helpful.”
Steve shifted uncomfortably, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watched you. “My Queen, if you’re considering—”
“I’m not considering anything,” you interrupted smoothly, your lips curving into a placating smile. “I’m merely... curious.”
He didn’t seem convinced, but he nodded nonetheless. “Very well. If you have any other questions—”
“Actually,” you cut in, your voice suddenly brighter, almost too casual, “I was wondering if I might step outside for a moment. The fresh air might do me good.”
“My Queen, it’s already quite late,” Steve said carefully, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his sword. “Perhaps it would be best to wait until morning.”
A flicker of frustration flared within you, but you forced yourself to remain calm, nodding graciously. “Of course. . .of course. You’re right, Captain.”
Steve’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but his gaze remained watchful as he bowed his head. “Goodnight, Your Majesty.”
You offered him a demure smile, waiting until he turned to leave before your expression hardened, determination flaring to life in your chest. You watched him leave, each step of his boots echoing down the hall, the sound growing fainter until you were sure he was gone.
And then, moving swiftly, you slipped into your chambers and changed into a riding outfit, the dark fabric molding to your form like a second skin. Your heart pounded in your ears as you quietly made your way through the estate, avoiding the servants and guards as you made your way to the stables.
It was time to take matters into your own hands.
The stables were dimly lit, the smell of hay and leather filling the air. You slipped inside, your footsteps quiet as you glanced around—and then you saw it: Steve’s horse, a powerful white spotted stallion, already saddled and prepared for his return journey. He must have left it ready to go, just in case he needed to leave in haste.
A thrill shot through you as you crept closer, your fingers trembling with both fear and excitement. This was your chance. You stroked the stallion’s neck gently, murmuring soft words of reassurance before swinging up into the saddle. Steve’s horse shifted beneath you, but you steadied him, your resolve hardening.
You turned the stallion toward the eastern gate, your heart hammering with a mix of exhilaration and dread. The estate was still and silent as you urged the horse forward, guiding him through the gates and onto the open road.
Just as you reached the edge of the estate grounds, you heard a shout—Captain Rogers, his voice laced with both alarm and disbelief. 
“Your Majesty! What are you doing?”
But before he could reach you, you dug your heels into the stallion’s sides, sending him into a gallop. The wind whipped past your face, the thrill of freedom and fear mingling as you urged him faster, faster—
“Damn it!” Steve’s curse echoed behind you, and you risked a glance over your shoulder to see him sprinting to the stables.
Within moments, he’d mounted another horse, spurring it forward with a sharp command. “Your Majesty, stop! You can’t just—”
But his words were lost to the wind as you rode, your stallion’s hooves pounding against the dirt road. For the first time in days, you felt alive, the adrenaline coursing through you like fire.
Steve was gaining on you, his horse closing the distance quickly. You could hear him shouting your name, the words muddled and frantic, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop.
Not until you reached Annecy.
Not until you reached him.
× × × ×
The night was alive with the sound of hoofbeats thundering down the narrow, moonlit road. The crisp air bit at your cheeks as you leaned low over the stallion’s neck, the wind whipping past your ears in a deafening roar. The exhilaration coursing through you was intoxicating—a reckless thrill that washed away the numbness of the past days.
You were free, if only for a fleeting moment.
But behind you, not far off, you heard the determined pursuit of another horse—a powerful, steady rhythm that only a seasoned rider could command.
“Your Majesty!” Steve’s voice rang out over the pounding of hooves, a mix of frustration and exasperation lacing his words. “Stop, damn it! You’ll get yourself hurt!”
You clenched your jaw, pushing the stallion faster, your heart racing with equal parts fear and defiance. Let him chase me, you thought stubbornly. You weren’t turning back now. Not when you were this close to escaping.
The darkened forest loomed ahead, the path winding and treacherous beneath the canopy of towering trees. Shadows stretched and twisted, the moonlight barely penetrating the thick branches. But you didn’t falter. You knew how to handle a horse, knew how to navigate even the trickiest of trails. You just had to stay ahead.
A glance over your shoulder revealed Steve, his broad form hunched low over his mount, his expression tight with concentration. His horse was closing the distance, its powerful strides gaining on you inch by inch. A thrill of panic shot through you, and you urged your stallion forward, digging your heels in as you veered off the main road and plunged into the woods.
Branches clawed at your sleeves and hair, the underbrush thick and uneven beneath the horse’s hooves. But you pressed on, darting through the narrow gaps between the trees, your breath qyickening. You could hear Steve’s curses behind you, the snapping of twigs and the rustle of leaves marking his relentless pursuit.
“Your Majesty, this is madness!” he shouted, his voice closer now. “Stop now, before you hurt yourself!”
“Go back, Captain!” you called over your shoulder, the thrill of the chase making your blood sing. “I’m not turning around!”
“Damn it, woman!” Steve growled, unable to hide his frustration with you. “You’re going to regret this!”
The path ahead narrowed even further, the trees pressing in on all sides. Your horse stumbled slightly, its hooves slipping on the loose soil, but you quickly regained control, urging it onward. You could feel Steve’s presence like a shadow at your back, his horse matching yours stride for stride, the sound of their breathing harsh and heavy in the cool night air.
And then, with a burst of speed, Steve’s horse surged forward, drawing up beside yours. You stole a glance at him, your eyes meeting his briefly in the dim light. His gaze was fierce, determined—and utterly unyielding.
“Pull up, My Queen,” he commanded, his voice low and dangerous. “Now.”
You shook your head, setting your jaw stubbornly. “No. Not until I see him.”
Steve cursed under his breath, his hand darting out to grasp at your reins. “I’m not letting you—”
You yanked the reins sharply, steering the stallion to the right and away from his grasp. The horse whinnied in protest, but you held firm, pushing it onward. Steve swerved to avoid colliding with you, his horse skidding on the loose gravel before regaining its balance.
“Damn it!” he shouted again, his voice raw with a mix of anger and concern. “This isn’t a game!”
“No, it’s not!” you shot back, your voice rising with the intensity of the chase. “It’s my life, Steve!”
Something flickered in his eyes—something that looked almost like pity—but he didn’t relent. He tightened his grip on the reins and urged his horse forward, drawing up alongside you once more.
“I’m not letting you go,” he ground out, his jaw clenched. “Even if I have to drag you back myself.”
“Try it,” you dared, the words slipping out before you could think better of it. “Just try.”
His eyes flashed, and for a moment, you thought he might actually do it—might tackle you right off your horse and force you back. But instead, he gritted his teeth, his knuckles white where they gripped the reins.
“Fine,” he bit out. “You want to do this the hard way? We’ll do it the hard way.”
And with that, he urged his horse even closer, the two animals almost neck and neck now. He reached out again, his hand brushing against your arm, and you tensed, your heart hammering wildly.
But instead of pulling you back, he yanked sharply on the reins of your stallion, forcing the horse to slow and swerve, breaking your pace. You let out a cry of protest, your grip tightening on the reins as you fought to keep control. Steve’s horse blocked your path, cutting off any chance of escape.
“Let me go!” you shouted, your voice trembling with a mix of fury and desperation.
“Not happening,” Steve growled, his eyes blazing as he leaned in closer. “You think I’m going to let you ride off into the night alone, to God knows where, just because you’re stubborn?”
“You don’t understand—”
“I understand perfectly,” he interrupted, his tone harsh. “I understand that you’re hurting. That you feel trapped. But this—” he gestured to the dark woods around you, his voice rising with exasperation—“this isn’t the way to fix it.”
You glared at him, your breath coming in short, furious gasps. “And what would you know about it, Captain?”
“Enough to know that if you keep pushing like this, you’re going to get yourself hurt,” he shot back, his voice cracking slightly. “And then what? Do you think that’s what he’d want? For you to risk everything like this?”
You stared at him, your chest heaving, and for a moment, the fight drained out of you, leaving you hollow and aching. He was right. You knew he was right. But the thought of going back—of returning to that empty, suffocating house—was unbearable.
“I just... I need to see him, Steve,” you replied, your voice breaking on the words. “I need to understand.”
His expression softened, his grip on the reins loosening slightly. “I know,” he murmured. “But not like this. Not alone.”
The silence stretched between you, thick and heavy with unspoken words. And then, slowly, hesitantly, you nodded, the fire inside you dimming to a flicker.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Okay.”
Steve released a breath he seemed to have been holding, his shoulders relaxing. “Good,” he said quietly, his voice rough with relief. “Let’s head back.”
But as he turned his horse, you saw your opportunity—a split-second chance—and before he could react, you kicked Steve’s horse into a gallop, the sudden burst of speed propelling you forward, back onto the path.
“Princess—Queen—Y/N!” Steve roared, the sound of his curses following you as you tore through the woods, the wind whipping past you.
This time, you didn’t look back. You couldn’t afford to. You had to reach Bucky. You had to know why he’d left you there—alone and abandoned.
Steve’s shouts echoed through the night as he raced after you, his horse’s hooves pounding against the ground like thunder.
“Stop, damn it!” he bellowed, his voice raw and desperate.
“Enough!” you shouted back, your voice cracking with the force of it. “Stop telling me what I should and shouldn’t do!”
Steve’s horse pulled up beside yours again, his face tight with worry and anger. “This isn’t safe, Y/N!”
“Don’t you dare!” you snapped, your eyes blazing as you looked at him. “Don’t you dare tell me what’s safe. You can’t keep me locked up like a caged bird just because it’s easier for you to watch over me!”
Steve’s mouth opened as if to argue, but you cut him off, your voice trembling with fury. “I’m not turning back, Steve. Not this time. So either let me go... or help me.”
He stared at you, the conflict clear in his eyes. For a moment, it seemed like he might refuse, might force you to return despite everything.
But then he let out a harsh breath, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Damn it, Y/N... fine.”
“What?” you breathed, barely daring to believe it.
“If you’re going to do this, then I’m coming with you,” he ground out, his jaw clenched. “Because I’m not letting you ride off into the night alone.”
You swallowed hard, the fight draining out of you as his words sank in. Slowly, you nodded, a shaky breath escaping your lips.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the horses’ hooves.
Steve’s gaze softened, and he gave a terse nod. “Just... try not to get us both killed, all right?”
A faint, breathless laugh escaped you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a small flicker of hope.
With one last glance at each other, you turned your horses toward the open road, the path to Annecy stretching out before you.
× × × × 
The cold night air nipped at your cheeks as you and Steve rode side by side, the rhythmic gallop of the horses’ hooves creating a steady, almost soothing cadence in the darkness. The road ahead was long, the path winding through the forest illuminated only by the pale light of the moon, casting everything in a muted, silvery glow.
Despite the tension simmering between you, there was something almost... peaceful about it. The silence that stretched between you and the captain wasn’t oppressive like before.
Steve’s gaze slid sideways, lingering on your determined profile. He wasn’t sure what he expected when he’d first seen you at the palace, but it certainly wasn’t this. A princess—no, a queen—in every sense of the word, but also something else entirely. Impulsive, stubborn, unrelenting in your resolve to push forward no matter what stood in your way. Every action you took seemed to defy the expectations of your station.
And yet, here you were, riding through the wilderness in the dead of night, your chin lifted high as if daring the stars themselves to challenge your resolve.
The corner of his mouth twitched in grudging admiration. “You ride well,” he offered, breaking the silence.
You turned to him, arching a brow. “Are you surprised?”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Maybe a little. I didn’t expect a queen to handle a horse like that.”
Your lips curved into a small, almost wry smile. “My father made sure I knew how to ride from a young age. I learned when I was six.”
Steve blinked, his gaze sharpening with curiosity. “Six? That’s... early.”
You shrugged, your expression turning thoughtful. “I suppose it is. But in my country, it wasn’t unusual. There was a lot to navigate, and horses were a necessity for both travel and safety.”
Something in your tone—a flicker of something distant, a shadow—caught his attention, and he studied you with newfound appreciation. He’d thought you reckless before—impulsive, driven by raw emotion. But perhaps he’d underestimated you. There was more to you than he’d thought, more beneath that composed surface you kept so carefully guarded.
“You’re more capable than most people give you credit for,” he murmured, his voice almost contemplative.
You glanced at him, your gaze sharp and discerning. “They don’t see what they don’t want to see, Captain. I can read, too, you know.” A dry chuckle escaped you. “I can speak three languages, play music, excel in archery. I know more about strategy and history than some of the advisors who sit in the council chamber.”
Steve’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, but he quickly schooled his features, nodding slowly. “That’s impressive.”
“Is it?” you asked softly, a hint of bitterness creeping into your tone. “It’s not impressive if no one cares to know.” You shook your head, letting out a sigh. “No one’s ever bothered to ask. Not even James.”
His chest tightened at the way you said it, the quiet hurt that laced your words. He looked down at the reins in his hands, feeling a pang of guilt. You were right. No one had asked. Steve certainly hadn’t. He’d only ever seen you through the lens of a title, a role. He hadn’t seen you—not until now.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, the words sounding inadequate even to his own ears. “I should have... I didn’t realize—”
“It’s not your fault, Captain,” you interrupted gently, your voice carrying a tired acceptance. “I’ve had to learn to hide things. If I didn’t, I’d be seen as a threat—or worse, a failure. Women aren’t supposed to read, to know things beyond sewing and dancing.” Your lips twisted wryly. “But I never liked being told what I could and couldn’t do.”
Steve couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “I can see that.”
You rolled your eyes, though the gesture was light. “I’m serious, Captain. No one sees me for who I am, only for what they want me to be. And if they did see the real me... I wonder if they’d be disappointed.”
The raw honesty in your voice cut through him like a blade, and he swallowed, a knot forming in his throat. He couldn’t imagine anyone being disappointed by the fierce, unyielding woman riding beside him. If anything, he was completely, utterly astounded by you. Your strength, your determination—it was unlike anything he’d ever encountered.
And yet, you spoke as if it were something to be ashamed of.
“I doubt that very much,” he said quietly, his gaze steady and sincere. “If they could see what I see, they’d realize just how wrong they’ve been.”
You blinked, surprise flashing in your eyes before you looked away, your lips pressing together. “Thank you,” you murmured, the words barely audible over the sound of the horses’ hooves.
He nodded, his chest tightening again. “You deserve to be seen, My Queen. All of you.”
Silence fell between you again, but this time it was different—softer, gentler. The tension that had wound itself around you began to ease, loosening its grip ever so slightly. You stared ahead, your mind still spinning, but something in his words soothed the ache inside you, if only for a moment.
“Just... try not to run off on me again, all right?” Steve added after a moment, his tone lightening. “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”
You couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled up at his exasperation. “No promises, Captain.”
He shook his head, a reluctant smile on his lips. “Of course not. You’d never make it that easy for me, would you?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” you teased, and for the first time since you’d left the estate, the tension in your chest began to loosen, the weight of it lifting just a little.
Steve glanced at you, his gaze warm and admiring. “You really are something else, my Queen.” He paused, his expression turning thoughtful as he murmured, “Bucky has met his match, it seems.”
Your smile softened, a faint flush rising to your cheeks. “And you, Captain Rogers, are far too kind.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, I’m just speaking the truth.”
× × × ×
The flickering glow of torches cast the estate’s front steps in a soft, golden hue, and a figure stepped forward from the shadows. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and his eyes, narrowed and assessing, were locked on you as if you were an intruder. The guards flanking the entrance straightened, their hands subtly tightening on the hilts of their swords.
“Who are you?” the man asked, his voice carrying an edge of command.
You instinctively straightened in your saddle, your gaze meeting his. “I am the queen.”
His brows rose ever so slightly, a flicker of something—surprise, perhaps—passing through his expression. But he didn’t step aside. Instead, he squared his shoulders and planted himself more firmly in your path, his jaw set.
“And why is Her Majesty arriving at such an hour without an escort?” His tone was polite, but there was an undercurrent of steel that made your pulse quicken.
Before you could respond, Steve cleared his throat, guiding his horse a step forward, his gaze fixed on the man with an unflinching intensity. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Sam.”
Sam glanced at Steve, recognition sparking in his eyes, but he didn’t move. “Captain Rogers,” he said evenly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Didn’t expect to see you standing in the way of the queen,” Steve shot back, his tone calm but firm. “I suggest you step aside.”
The man—Sam—hesitated, his gaze sliding back to you, lingering with a mixture of wariness and something else... respect? Curiosity? You couldn’t quite tell.
“Your Majesty,” Sam said slowly, his voice measured, “I’m under strict orders to keep the estate secure.”
You squared your shoulders, lifting your chin as you met his gaze head-on. “I have come to see my husband. I am certain his orders do not extend to preventing me from entering.”
Sam’s lips twitched, as if he were fighting back a smile. For a heartbeat, you thought he might refuse again. But then he stepped aside with a graceful nod, sweeping his arm toward the entrance.
“Welcome, Your Majesty. Forgive me for the delay.” His eyes shifted to Steve, a knowing look passing between them before he turned back to you. “Shall I announce your arrival?”
You hesitated, glancing at Steve, who merely shook his head. “No,” you said softly, feeling a strange surge of determination. “I’ll find him myself.”
With a nod, Sam stepped back, gesturing for the guards to lower their weapons. As you dismounted, handing the reins to a stable boy who had appeared from the shadows, you felt Steve’s steady presence beside you—a silent pillar of support.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he murmured under his breath, his voice barely audible over the rustle of leaves in the breeze.
You nodded, squaring your shoulders. “I didn’t ride all this way to be turned back now, Captain.”
He gave you a small, tight smile, his eyes flicking briefly to Sam before returning to you. “Then let’s go find him.”
The grand entrance of the estate opened before you like the maw of some great beast, its stone walls and towering pillars casting deep, ominous shadows. As you stepped inside, the air seemed to change—thicker, almost suffocating, like a place that held too many secrets. The floors gleamed under the flickering light of candles set in wall sconces, the polished surfaces reflecting the nervous tension tightening in your chest.
Steve followed closely behind, his hand hovering near his sword, his gaze scanning the dimly lit corridors with the sharp, alert intensity of a soldier on high alert.
“He’s this way,” he murmured, gesturing with a tilt of his head.
You nodded, your heart pounding louder with each step. The estate was grander than you had expected, the hallways long and winding. For a moment, you felt disoriented, as if you’d stumbled into a labyrinth. But you forced yourself to focus. You were here for a reason—to speak to James. To confront him, to demand answers.
After what felt like an eternity, you reached a heavy wooden door, slightly ajar, warm light spilling through the crack. Steve slowed, his hand coming up as if to stop you, but you shook your head. You needed to do this alone.
Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open gently, stepping inside.
The heavy door creaked shut behind you as you stepped fully into the observatory. Your gaze swept over the large telescope set up at the far end, its towering structure silhouetted against the backdrop of the star-strewn sky. 
You saw him—standing beside it, a shadowed figure against the soft glow of the evening, the faint town lights far below barely piercing the darkness up here. His fingers traced the metal frame of the instrument, the careful precision of his movements almost reverent. It was unexpected—seeing him like this. Vulnerable, focused, his usual air of authority and distance replaced by something quieter, more human.
“Why are you here?” he asked, his voice clipped and cold. The question sounded more like an accusation, his grip tightening on the edge of the telescope.
“I think you know why,” you replied, your words as sharp as the air between you. “You can’t just keep sending me away like I’m some piece of unwanted baggage.”
He exhaled harshly, his shoulders shifting, but he still didn’t turn to face you. “You’re supposed to be at the estate. This is not—”
“Not what?” you cut in, your own frustration spilling over. “Not where I’m supposed to be? I’m your wife, James. Is it not my right to stand beside you, wherever you may be?”
Finally, he turned, his jaw set, eyes hardened as he stared at you across the room. “You’re making everything more complicated than it needs to be.”
“Complicated?” The word tasted bitter, and you threw it back at him like a weapon. “Complicated is this entire charade of a marriage you’ve thrown me into. You can’t even be in the same room as me, can’t look at me without acting like I’m some burden you’re forced to carry.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze never wavering. “You knew what was expected from the very beginning. I never misled you.”
“Never?” you shot back, stepping closer, heat rising beneath your skin. “What about everything you said that morning in the garden? You made me believe—” You stopped yourself, anger tightening in your throat. “You led me to believe there was more. You looked me in the eye and made promises without saying a word.”
Bucky scoffed, shaking his head sharply. “You’re twisting things, Y/N.”
“Am I?” Your voice rose, matching his, the words bursting out like they’d been waiting for this fight. “You led me on, made me think there could be something real between us. Did you really mean it? All those sweet words? Or am I just another woman you can disregard?”
His expression didn’t soften, didn’t waver. He took a step forward, eyes burning into yours. “You’re not just another woman. You’re my wife. And that’s exactly why I’m telling you to go back where it’s safe.”
You laughed, a cold, hollow sound that felt like it echoed through the observatory. “Safe. You keep saying that. But you know what’s unsafe, James? Being married to someone who treats me like a ghost. Like I’m here but not really here. Like I’m nothing more than a title to you.”
“You don’t understand,” he snapped, his voice dangerously low. “You think this is about you? It’s not. It’s about—”
“Don’t you dare tell me what this is about!” you interrupted, your anger roaring back to life. “You’ve been pushing me away since the day we married. You send me to that estate like I’m some delicate flower who can’t handle the truth. You won’t even give me the courtesy of honesty.”
“I am being honest,” he growled, his voice vibrating with suppressed rage. “You just refuse to accept it.”
“Then tell me why you shut me out!” you demanded, taking another step closer, refusing to back down. “Tell me why you can’t even bear to look at me!”
“Because it’s easier that way!” he exploded, the words crashing between you like a thunderclap. “Because every moment I spend with you, every look, every touch—it makes it harder to keep my distance. And I need that distance, Y/N. I need it.”
“Why?” The single word felt like a challenge, a dare, as you stood your ground. “Why do you need to keep your distance?”
He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes wild with something you couldn’t quite decipher. “Because if I don’t, I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” you pressed, your voice cutting through the silence like a blade. “You’ll feel something? You’ll actually let yourself care?”
“Damn it, stop twisting my words!” he snapped, his voice echoing off the walls. He pointed toward the door, his hand trembling slightly. “This conversation is over. Go home.”
But you didn’t move. Instead, you square your shoulders, staring him down with a determination that only seemed to make his fury burn hotter. “You’re just a coward, James.”
“What did you say?” His eyes darkened, the heat in his gaze scorching.
“I said you’re a coward,” you repeated, your voice unyielding. “It’s not about protecting me, is it? It’s about protecting yourself. You can’t handle feeling anything real, so you shove me away and pretend it’s for my sake—”
“Enough!” he roared, slamming his fist down on a workbench. The sound reverberated through the room, you flinched, but didn’t back away. He took a deep, shuddering breath, his voice a raw growl when he spoke again. “I’m commanding you to go home, Y/N. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“And what if I don’t?” you shot back, your heart hammering in your chest. “What if I stay here and make you face me?”
He took a step forward, the distance between you closing until he was towering over you.
“You want me to be honest? Fine. I’m being honest now.” He leaned in, his voice a dangerous whisper. “Go. Home. Because if you stay, I can’t promise I won’t hurt you.”
The threat hung in the air, his gaze blazing with a warning you knew he meant. But even then, you didn’t move. You held his stare, refusing to look away, refusing to give in.
But then something shifted in his eyes—something dark and final.
“Leave,” he bit out, each word a sharp command. “Go back to the estate. This is not up for debate.”
“James—”
“Go.” His voice cut through the room like a blade, and for the first time, you felt the full force of his resolve, the cold, impenetrable wall he had built around himself.
Slowly, you stepped back, your eyes still locked on his, the ache in your chest spreading like a poison.
“You really think you’re protecting me?” Your voice wavered, the frustration and pain that had been building over the past five days bubbling to the surface, spilling out like a torrent you could no longer contain. “But all you’re doing is pushing me away. You think that sending me back to that estate, is what’s best for me? Locking me up like some prisoner while you hide away here?”
Bucky’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing, his expression an unreadable mask of ice.
“Every morning I wake up in that empty bed, wondering if today will be the day you finally show up. If maybe, for once, you’ll decide that I’m worth more than a few fleeting words, worth more than some shadow you keep at arm’s length.” Your voice shook, but you pressed on, refusing to let the lump in your throat silence you. 
“I eat alone. I read alone. I play music for walls that don’t listen. I’m trapped in that place, surrounded by people who refuse to let me leave, because you’ve ordered it. ‘For my safety,’” you scoffed, the bitterness heavy in your tone. “But safety from what, James? From whom?”
He flinched, just barely, but you caught it. You saw the way his fingers twitched at his sides, the way his gaze flickered with something—regret, maybe—before he buried it beneath that cold, stony facade.
“Your silence is worse than anything else. Worse than the gossip, the rumors,” you continued, each word sharp, slicing through the air. “I didn’t marry a title, James. I married you—or at least, I thought I did. But the man I met in the garden… the man who promised me something more… that’s not who I see now.”
He didn’t respond, his gaze unyielding, his stance unrelenting.
“Fine. If you want to let this crumble to dust, then fine. But don’t you dare think that you’re doing it for me,” you spat, turning on your heel and heading for the door. “You want me to leave? I’ll leave.”
With that, you stormed out, slamming the door behind you, the echo of it reverberating through the silence he left behind.
And in that silence, Bucky stood alone, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes fixed on the door you’d just walked through, the words he didn’t say choking him from the inside out.
× × × × 
You stormed down the spiral staircase until you arrived at the hallway, each step punctuated by the echo of your boots against the stone floor. You barely registered the curious glances of the servants or the soft rustling of skirts as maids darted out of your path. Everything was a blur of color and sound, your heart pounding in your ears like a war drum.
You reached the grand foyer, your breath coming in ragged, furious gasps. You hadn’t meant to let him get to you—hadn’t meant to let his coldness, his indifference, chip away at the fragile hope you’d nurtured.
But he had.
And now the hope was gone, replaced by a searing anger that burned hot and unforgiving in your chest.
“My Queen!” Steve’s voice called out urgently somewhere behind you. You didn’t stop, didn’t even glance back. “What happened? Did he—”
“I do not wish to talk about it, Steve,” you snapped, not breaking stride as you pushed through the front entrance. The cold night air hit you like a slap, the sharpness of it biting into your skin, but it was a welcome relief—anything to douse the fire raging inside you.
“Y/N, wait—”
But you ignored him, striding toward the stables where your horse was already saddled and waiting. A stable boy jumped at your sudden arrival, his eyes wide with uncertainty as you approached.
“Bring my things. I’m leaving,” you ordered, your voice taut with barely contained fury.
“But—Your Majesty—” the boy stammered, glancing nervously between you and Steve, who had followed you out.
“Do as she says,” Steve murmured, his tone resigned, though there was a hard edge to his gaze as he watched you mount the horse.
“Y/N—” Steve tried again, his hand lifting as if he might reach for you, stop you. But you jerked the reins sharply, cutting him off.
“Are you coming?”
He fell silent, his shoulders slumping slightly as he watched you, the conflict clear in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something else, wanted to protest—but then his gaze flicked back toward the darkened silhouette of the estate, and he let out a low, frustrated sigh.
“Yes,” he muttered, his voice tight with suppressed emotion. “I’ll escort you back to Byron—but allow me to have a word with the King.”
“Do whatever you want,” you bit out, the bitterness in your tone making his jaw clench. 
Steve approaches your horse, looking up at you with a hardened look, “Do not leave without me.”
“I won’t.”
× × × × 
Bucky stood in the center of the room, the soft, amber glow of candlelight casting deep shadows across his features. His breathing was labored, each inhale and exhale scraping through his lungs like broken glass. He stared at the closed door, his hand still clenched around the edge of the workbench, his knuckle white with the force of his grip.
“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath, his voice a harsh, broken sound in the empty room.
The door creaked open suddenly, and Bucky’s gaze snapped up, his eyes blazing with a dangerous mix of anger and fear.
Steve stepped inside, his expression tight, his shoulders squared. For a moment, the two men simply stared at each other, the air crackling with unspoken tension.
“What the hell was that?” Steve demanded, his voice low and fierce, like the growl of an animal poised to attack. He took a step forward, his gaze never leaving Bucky’s. “What the hell did you say to her?”
Bucky’s jaw tightened, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he turned away, his shoulders stiff. “That is no concern of yours.”
“Like hell it’s not,” Steve shot back, his voice rising with barely contained fury. He took another step forward, his eyes blazing. “She came here for you. She rode all the way from Byron—alone, at night—just to see you. And you turn her away like she’s nothing?”
“Watch it, Rogers,” Bucky warned, his voice a low, dangerous rumble. “This is between me and her.”
“Bullshit,” Steve spat, his fists clenching at his sides. “She is my queen. You may be her husband, but you are not acting as such. You are simply pushing her away—”
“Watch how you speak to me, Captain,” Bucky warned further, his voice low and simmering with barely controlled rage. He turned back to face Steve, his eyes flashing with a dangerous, unyielding intensity. “I am your King before I am your friend. Don't you ever forget that.”
But then Steve’s expression hardened, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he took a deliberate step closer, refusing to be cowed.
“You may be my King,” Steve ground out, his voice tight and edged with anger. “But that does not mean I will stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I know why you’re doing this. And it’s tearing her apart.”
“I’m doing what I have to,” Bucky interrupted sharply. He stepped forward, his hard gaze latching onto Steve’s. “Do not presume to know what is best for her, Steve.”
“And you do?” Steve challenged, his voice dripping with contempt. “Because from where I stand, it seems you are doing everything in your power to hurt her.”
Bucky’s expression twisted, a dark, bitter smile tugging at his lips. “You think I wish to cause her pain?”
“I think you’re terrified,” Steve replied quietly, his voice calm and unflinching. “You’re scared of what you feel for her, afraid of getting close—because losing her would destroy you. But this… pushing her away, pretending you don’t care… that’s just cowardice.”
Bucky’s eyes flared, his hand darting out to grab the front of Steve’s coat, yanking him forward until their faces were inches apart. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then explain it to me,” Steve demanded, his voice low and unrelenting. “You are sabotaging yourself and tearing her down in the process—I am done watching you destroy the one good thing you possess.”
For a moment, they stood there, locked in a silent, seething battle of wills. Then, slowly, Bucky released his grip on Steve’s coat, his shoulders slumping as if the fight had drained out of him.
“You should leave, Steve,” Bucky muttered, his voice thick with exhaustion and defeat. He turned away, his gaze falling to the floor. “Go take her back to Byron. Make sure she’s safe.”
“Bucky—”
“Just go,” Bucky bit out, his voice rough and ragged. He didn’t look back, didn’t give Steve a chance to argue.
Steve’s gaze lingered on him for a long, tense moment, a dozen words hovering on the tip of his tongue. But then he turned sharply on his heel, his boots echoing through the silent observatory as he left, the door slamming shut behind him.
And then, slowly, he sank down onto the nearest chair, his head dropping into his hands, his shoulders shaking with the force of emotions he couldn’t quite suppress.
But no tears fell. He’d learned long ago how to bury them deep, how to lock them away where they couldn’t hurt him—or anyone else.
Because this was the price of keeping you safe. The price of keeping his distance.
Even if it destroyed him in the process.
× × × × 
The maids moved quietly, arranging fresh flowers and setting a delicate porcelain tea set on a polished table. Queen Winifred sat gracefully in her high-backed chair, sipping her morning tea, her posture as rigid and refined as ever.
She barely looked up as her lady-in-waiting, Lady Harriet, approached hesitantly. There was a slight shift in the atmosphere—something unspoken crackling between them. Harriet glanced around, making sure no one else was within earshot, before leaning in closer.
“Your Majesty, I thought you should be informed… the Queen…” She paused, choosing her words carefully. “Last night, she left the estate. Captain Rogers accompanied her.”
The Queen Dowager’s hand stilled, the delicate teacup hovering just inches from her lips. “She did what?” she asked, her voice even but laced with incredulity.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Lady Harriet continued, her voice dropping lower as if speaking the words any louder would make them more scandalous. “She rode all the way to the King’s estate in Annecy. It caused quite a stir among the staff, even with Captain Rogers by her side.”
For a moment, a thick silence settled in the room. The Queen Dowager’s eyes narrowed slightly, as though considering the implications of such an audacious act. But then… something unexpected happened.
The corner of her lips twitched.
Lady Harriet blinked, surprised, as a soft chuckle slipped past the Queen Dowager’s lips—a sound so rare, it seemed to startle even her own maids. Winifred set the teacup down gently, a wry smile spreading across her face as she tilted her head in quiet amusement.
“She rode to Annecy,” she repeated, a hint of disbelief mingling with a spark of admiration in her eyes. “With Captain Rogers…” She shook her head slightly, as if she could scarcely believe it herself. “That girl…”
Her chuckle grew a little louder, a quiet, knowing sound. Lady Harriet exchanged a glance with one of the other maids, clearly perplexed by the Queen Dowager’s reaction. This wasn’t the disapproving reprimand they’d expected.
The Queen Dowager leaned back in her chair, her gaze turning distant as she stared out the window. 
“So, she did listen after all…” she murmured to herself, almost as if speaking the thought aloud would make it more real.
Lady Harriet hesitated, unsure whether to continue or to remain silent. “Your Majesty?”
The Queen Dowager waved a hand dismissively, still smiling to herself. “It’s nothing, Harriet.” 
She took another sip of her tea, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “The Queen may have more steel in her spine than I initially thought.”
“Should we… take any action regarding her behavior, Your Majesty?” Harriet asked tentatively, still clearly baffled.
Winifred’s smile widened, a gleam of something almost like pride flashing in her eyes. “No, Harriet. Leave her be.”
She glanced down at her teacup, swirling the liquid gently. “Let her make her bold moves. Let her surprise them all.” She lifted her gaze, the hint of a satisfied smirk tugging at her lips. “It’s about time someone shook things up around here.”
Lady Harriet shifted, still looking uncertain. “But Your Majesty, if Captain Rogers was with her, it might imply—”
“Captain Rogers may be a steadfast soldier, but he does not dictate the queen’s actions. She made her choice.” Winnifred paused, her smile deepening. “And if I’m not mistaken, that girl has enough fire to make any man, king or captain, follow her lead.”
And with that, she returned to her tea as if nothing had happened, the faintest smile lingering on her lips—a smile that spoke of a plan unfolding, of something more significant simmering beneath the surface.
Yes, the queen was proving to be quite a force, indeed.
× × × ×
You sit perched on a thick branch of the grand oak tree, high above the garden path. The cool breeze plays with the hem of your skirts and rustles the leaves around you. A delicate porcelain teacup is balanced carefully on a knot beside you, the matching saucer nestled securely on a branch above, where a glimmer of sunlight catches the floral patterns. 
Below, the world feels distant—removed. From this height, you can watch the maids flit about like little insects, pretending to ignore you while stealing glances up at your odd choice of seating.
Your book lies open in your lap, but you haven’t turned a page in a while. The words blur together as your gaze drifts away from the text, caught instead by the blue expanse of sky peeking through the foliage, your thoughts miles away.
It has been two days since you rode to Annecy in the dead of night. Two days since you confronted your husband, demanding answers he seemed unwilling—or unable—to give. And now, silence. Not a single word from him. Not even a letter. The ache of that silence lingers in your chest, tightening every time you think of him.
With a sigh, you look back at the pages, willing yourself to focus. But even now, the ache of anticipation tugs at you. A soft crunch of boots against gravel draws your attention. From your elevated position, you glance down and find Captain Rogers standing beneath the oak, his brow furrowed in a curious frown as he peers up at you.
“Your Majesty?” His voice carries a note of genuine confusion and surprise. “How did you get up there?”
You blink, taken aback, before a smile tugs at your lips. “I climbed, Captain Rogers.”
His eyes widen slightly, and then he glances at the tree trunk, scanning the branches as if trying to piece together the puzzle of how a queen—of all people—managed to scale a tree like a child escaping her governess.
“Climbed,” he repeats, disbelief tinged with admiration. “And no one stopped you?”
“No one saw me until I was already here,” you reply, a faint note of mischief coloring your tone. “And by then, what could they do? Order their queen to come down?”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a reluctant smile as he steps closer, his gaze still on you. “Well, I can’t say I expected to find you up a tree, but… may I join you?”
You raise an eyebrow, looking down at him as he places one hand on the trunk, testing his grip. “Do you think you can get up here, Captain?”
“Only one way to find out,” he murmurs.
You watch, surprised and a little amused, as he hoists himself up, his powerful arms making easy work of the climb. He’s not quite as graceful as you’d been, but soon enough, he’s straddling the branch in front of you, facing you, his legs on either side of the limb to keep himself balanced. The limb dips ever so slightly under his weight. The closeness between you makes the air seem charged, a tension simmering beneath the surface.
“Impressive,” you say softly, tilting your head to regard him. “For a soldier, you climb trees like a schoolboy.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I suppose that’s one way of putting it.” He shifts his position slightly, leaning forward, his hands braced on either side of the branch, bringing him closer, his gaze holding yours with unsettling intensity. “But what are you doing up here? Escaping the palace? Or just trying to find some peace?”
“Perhaps both,” you reply with a small sigh. “The view is nice up here. It gives me a different perspective.”
“Perspective,” he repeats thoughtfully. “Or maybe it’s a place to hide.”
Your gaze snaps to his, a flash of irritation rising at his too-accurate guess. “And if it is?”
“Then I understand.” His voice is soft, devoid of the teasing lilt he’d used earlier. “But sometimes… sometimes what we’re running from follows us, no matter how high we climb.”
His words strike something deep within you, and you avert your gaze, looking out at the horizon instead of meeting his eyes. “What do you want, Captain? Surely you didn’t climb this tree just to talk about running away.”
He shifts closer, his knee brushing against yours, the rough bark digging into your skirts as he leans forward slightly. His proximity is dizzying, his eyes searching yours with a kind of determination that makes your pulse quicken. “I thought… perhaps some company would be welcome. It’s a lovely day, and you seem… alone.”
“Alone, but not lonely,” you lied, the words almost a whisper. “Still, I appreciate the thought.”
“But you shouldn’t have to handle things alone,” he counters gently, his gaze softening as he watches you. “Sometimes, it helps to share the burden. Or at least… know there’s someone willing to share it.”
You glance down at the garden below, where the maids are casting furtive glances up at the two of you, their curiosity barely concealed. A murmur rises among them, speculation sparking like dry kindling. You can practically hear the gossip spreading like wildfire.
“Is this... concern for my well-being or more... personal interest, Captain?” you ask, your voice laced with challenge.
He holds your gaze, his expression softening in a way that makes your heart skip a beat.
“Perhaps a bit of both,” he replies quietly.
A murmur rises among the maids, their eyes widening as they exchange knowing looks. Your gaze shifts briefly to them before returning to Steve’s, suspicion and confusion swirling in your chest.
“Captain Rogers, I—” You begin to speak but falter, unsure how to respond to this unexpected display of interest. 
He leans back slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. “It’s just... Your Majesty, you deserve someone who sees you. Not just the crown, not just the queen, but you.”
The maids’ murmurs grow louder, and you force yourself to smile, though it feels brittle on your lips.
“That’s very kind of you to say, Captain,” you reply, your voice steady despite the confusion roiling inside you. “But perhaps you should keep such thoughts to yourself. I would hate for anyone to misunderstand your intentions.”
“Misunderstand?” he echoes, his smile widening just enough to be noticed. “I’m not sure there’s any misunderstanding when a man speaks his mind.”
Your eyes narrow, a flash of irritation sparking behind them. What game is he playing? Before you can press further, one of the maids drops a basket of flowers, the sudden clatter drawing both your attention. The young woman quickly bends to pick them up, her cheeks flushed, but not before she casts another furtive glance at you and Steve.
“Let them talk, Your Majesty. Sometimes, a little attention is exactly what’s needed.”
“Attention for whom?” you ask, your voice dropping to a whisper, your suspicion growing. “For me? Or for... someone else?”
His gaze doesn’t waver. “For whoever needs it,” he murmurs softly, the words thick with unspoken meaning.
You inhale deeply, holding his gaze as you speak. “I think it’s best if we don’t continue this conversation.”
With a quiet sigh, you carefully swing your legs over the branch and drop down, landing gracefully on the grass below. Steve follows suit, descending with a thud beside you, his presence lingering too close for comfort.
“Thank you for your... company, Captain,” you say quietly, smoothing down your skirts.
He dips his head in a respectful bow. “Of course, Your Majesty. I apologize if I overstepped.”
Without another word, you turn on your heel and make your way back to the estate, leaving him and his cryptic words behind among the watchful eyes and eager whispers of the maids.
The afternoon sun cast dappled shadows across the marble floors of the corridor as you made your way back to your chambers. Each step you took felt heavier, weighted down by the encounter in the garden, by Captain Rogers’ unexpected behavior, and the murmurs that had buzzed around you like a swarm of bees.
As you turned a corner, you caught sight of Scott—your valet—hovering a few paces behind. His presence was a familiar one, but something about it now felt... different. Obtrusive. You slowed your pace until you came to a halt, turning abruptly to face him.
“Scott,” you called softly, your tone edged with irritation and confusion. “Why are you following me?”
Scott, ever the stoic presence, dipped his head in a respectful bow. “Your Majesty, it’s my duty to attend to you.”
Your eyes narrowed as you took in the determined set of his shoulders, the way his gaze remained fixed just over your shoulder, never meeting your eyes. He’d been like this ever since you returned from Annecy—hovering in the shadows, always lingering close by.
“Yes, I know that, Scott,” you said slowly, studying him with a scrutinizing gaze. “But lately, you’ve been… hovering more than usual.”
His lips twitched, a fleeting sign of discomfort. “I apologize, Your Majesty. I merely wish to ensure your safety.”
“Ensure my safety?” you echoed, suspicion prickling at the back of your mind. You glanced around the empty corridor, a sense of unease settling in your chest. “Who ordered you to follow me around like this?”
Scott hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor before he glanced back up, his voice low. “It was the order of the king, Your Majesty.”
Your breath caught. Bucky? You frowned, confusion and frustration warring within you. Why would he do that? He hadn’t even bothered to see you, to speak to you since the night you confronted him. And yet, now he saw fit to have you followed?
“And… What of Captain Rogers?” you asked, your voice quieter now, a strange apprehension curling around your words. “Why does it seem like he’s been lingering around more often? Was that also at the king’s order?”
Scott shifted slightly, his expression remaining neutral, though there was a faint trace of something—sympathy, perhaps?—in his eyes. “Yes, Your Majesty. The king… he wanted to ensure you were… properly attended to.”
“Properly attended to?” You scoffed softly, shaking your head. The absurdity of it all threatened to choke you. “So, let me get this straight: His Majesty won’t speak to me, but he’ll send his best men to guard me as if I’m some helpless child in need of constant supervision?”
Scott stiffened slightly, but he didn’t respond, his silence speaking louder than any words could.
A bitter laugh escaped you, the sound harsh and brittle. “And here I thought I was being foolish for imagining things.” You looked back at Scott, your gaze piercing. “So, this—this is the king’s way of keeping me under lock and key?”
“It’s for your safety, Your Majesty,” Scott replied softly, his voice almost apologetic. “He wants to ensure nothing happens to you.”
“Nothing happens to me?” You shook your head, disbelief and anger simmering beneath your calm facade. “Nothing is happening to me. What does he think will happen to me? I’m not the one who’s running off and avoiding our marriage.”
Scott’s gaze dropped to the floor again, his silence confirming what you already knew. This wasn’t about your safety—at least not entirely. It was about control. About Bucky’s way of maintaining a grip on something he couldn’t seem to confront directly.
“Well,” you muttered, turning away sharply and continuing down the hall, your heart pounding in your chest. “I’ll be sure to thank him for his... consideration.”
Scott fell into step a few paces behind you, his presence a shadow that only deepened your frustration. With each step you took, the realization settled deeper into your bones.
Bucky might have ordered this, but he was still keeping his distance. Still choosing to watch from afar, rather than face you. And that, more than anything, was what made your heart ache.
You stopped abruptly, your irritation bubbling to the surface as you turned back around to face Scott, a sudden thought lighting up your eyes. 
“You know what?” you murmured, voice edged with determination as a small, dangerous smile curled your lips. “I think I’d like to shoot some arrows.”
Scott’s eyes widened, a look of surprise flickering across his face. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze darting away before he cleared his throat. 
“Your Majesty, I—” he started, hesitation written in every line of his posture.
You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head as if considering his reaction. “Is there a problem, Scott?” Your voice remained calm, but there was a sharpness beneath it, the kind that could cut through any excuse he might offer.
Scott’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, struggling to keep his composure. “I, uh, I don’t believe it’s wise, Your Majesty,” he murmured carefully, his voice almost too soft, too placating. “Perhaps… a walk in the gardens or a relaxing moment in the music room instead? Or I could—”
“Scott,” you interrupted sharply, crossing your arms over your chest as you leveled him with a pointed look. “Are you refusing your queen?”
The tension between you hung heavy in the air as his shoulders tightened, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the right words to say.
“Of course not, Your Majesty,” he managed finally, though his voice trembled ever so slightly. “It’s just… your safety—”
“My safety,” you echoed dryly, the irritation you had been holding back spilling out now. “Tell me, Scott, how exactly do arrows pose a threat to my safety? Unless I plan on aiming at myself, I believe I’ll be fine.”
His mouth twitched, struggling between his duty to follow orders and the fear of displeasing you. “It’s not the arrows, Your Majesty,” he murmured, choosing his words carefully. “It’s just… we were instructed to keep you... away from—”
“Instructed?” you cut in, incredulity and frustration sharpening your tone. “Instructed to keep me away from what? Activities that make me feel like I have a shred of control over my own life? I can’t even invite Lady, Romanoff, Potts and Maximoff.”
Scott shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor as if it held all the answers. “No, Your Majesty, of course not. It’s just—”
“Just what, Scott?” Your gaze was unrelenting, your patience wearing thin. “If you’re so worried about my safety, then be a good valet and stand by as I shoot. Ensure that nothing happens to me, since that is your duty, after all.”
He blinked, clearly caught between his loyalty to the king and his loyalty to you. The silence stretched long, taut and crackling with unspoken defiance. Finally, he exhaled softly, shoulders slumping just a little in reluctant acceptance.
“Very well, Your Majesty,” he said quietly, though his eyes remained wary. “I shall arrange for the equipment to be brought to the archery range. But… might I suggest a different method for alleviating your frustrations?”
You raised an eyebrow, lips curving into a faint smirk as you glanced at him. “Such as?”
“Perhaps a ride through the woods?” he offered quickly, hope lighting up his eyes. “Or I could arrange for a music instructor, or even some time in the library. Anything that would allow you to... relax.”
You let out a soft, humorless laugh. “You think a music lesson or a book will do the trick, do you?”
Scott hesitated but nodded, his voice gentle. “You’ve had a trying few days, Your Majesty. It’s natural to feel… frustrated. But there are ways to—”
“Enough,” you interrupted, your voice firm but not unkind. “I appreciate your concern, but I know what I need. Fetch the equipment. I won’t be persuaded otherwise.”
He sighed softly, bowing his head in reluctant submission. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”
You turned away sharply, your gaze fixed on the distant view through the windows. The truth was, this wasn’t just about shooting arrows. It was about the tightness in your chest, the simmering anger beneath your skin, the need to do something other than sit around like a caged bird. Bucky had placed you under watch, yet he refused to see you.
If no one else would let you be free, then you would take what freedom you could. Even if it was just the satisfaction of a well-aimed arrow hitting its mark.
× × × ×
You stood at the archery range, your fingers gently tracing the fletching of an arrow. You could feel every set of eyes on you—Scott’s gaze wary and apprehensive, the handmaids’ murmuring softly amongst themselves, the guards standing at attention with blank faces. But most notable was Captain Rogers, his presence a solid, quiet reassurance, yet even he stood back, watching you like a hawk.
Taking a deep breath, you nocked the arrow, the smooth wood and feather a comforting weight in your hands. You narrowed your gaze, focusing on the target ahead. The world around you blurred, leaving only the taut string and the distant bullseye. And then, with a practiced release, you let it fly.
The arrow sailed through the air with a sharp hiss, striking the target with a satisfying thud. A few inches off-center, but still well within the mark. 
“Not bad,” Steve commented, a hint of admiration in his voice. “For a first shot.”
You turned to him with a raised brow, a glint of amusement in your eyes. “First shot of the day, you mean.” Then, without breaking eye contact, you nocked another arrow, your movements smooth, effortless.
Steve’s lips twitched, almost forming a smile. He crossed his arms, stepping closer, though he kept a respectful distance. “Of course. I stand corrected, Your Majesty.”
Scott cleared his throat softly, stepping forward as if to remind everyone of the gravity of the situation. “Your Majesty,” he said, his voice laced with concern, “perhaps it would be best to—”
“To what?” you interrupted, the arrow poised and ready. “Put down the bow and take up knitting? Perhaps have a nice cup of tea and read a dull novel while I bide my time?”
Scott blinked, his lips pressing into a thin line, but he said nothing. Instead, his gaze shifted to Captain Rogers, almost as if hoping for support.
“Let her be, Scott,” Steve murmured, his tone gentle but firm. “If she wants to practice, let her practice.”
With that, you turned your attention back to the target, drawing the string taut. This time, the arrow flew with a deadly precision, landing just shy of the bullseye. A small ripple of approval murmured through the handmaidens, but Scott merely sighed.
You tilted your head, a sly smile curving your lips as you glanced at him. 
“Scott,” you began casually, as if speaking of the weather, “do we keep any paintings of His Majesty around the manor? Perhaps one in full regalia?” Your tone was innocent enough, but the implication hung heavy in the air.
The handmaidens exchanged startled glances, a few stifling giggles behind their hands. Steve’s gaze shifted sharply to you, his lips twitching, but he said nothing, watching the scene unfold with a barely hidden glimmer of amusement.
Scott, however, did not find it amusing in the slightest. His eyes widened slightly, and he straightened, his voice dropping into a low, chiding tone. “Your Majesty, that is not a funny joke.”
“Isn’t it?” You tilted your head, feigning a look of mock surprise. “I find it quite humorous.”
A muscle in Scott’s jaw twitched, but he composed himself quickly, his gaze flickering to Captain Rogers as if asking for assistance.
But Steve merely shrugged, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at his lips. “The queen does have a unique sense of humor,” he said lightly, his gaze still on you. “One might even say it’s… refreshing.”
You shot him a grateful glance before nocking yet another arrow, this time releasing it with a force that sent it whistling through the air. The arrow struck the outer ring of the target, and you clicked your tongue, feigning disappointment.
“Perhaps I need more inspiration,” you mused aloud, not bothering to hide the bitterness in your voice. “A better target. Or maybe something a bit more… personal.”
“Your Majesty,” Scott said warningly, stepping forward as if he might dare to take the bow from your hands. “This—”
You turned on him sharply, your expression hardening. “What?” you demanded softly. “This is my one small act of freedom. This range. These arrows. This target. Would you deny me even this?”
Silence fell over the group, thick and uncomfortable. The guards shifted uneasily, glancing at one another, unsure of how to proceed. The handmaidens fidgeted, casting worried looks in your direction. But Steve held his ground, his gaze never leaving you.
Scott swallowed, his eyes darting between you and Steve, then back again. “No, Your Majesty,” he said quietly, his shoulders slumping just slightly. “I would never deny you.”
“Good,” you murmured, lifting the bow again and taking aim, your gaze focused, unyielding. “Then let me have my small comforts, if nothing else.”
And with that, you released the arrow, the force of it reverberating through your arms. It struck the very edge of the target, just shy of missing altogether. You lowered the bow slowly, your heart hammering in your chest as you stared at the arrow, frustration coiling tightly within you.
“Perhaps next time,” you said softly, almost to yourself. “I’ll find a better target.”
Scott said nothing, his silence louder than any reprimand. But as you turned away, your gaze met Steve’s once more, and the warmth in his eyes—unspoken understanding, quiet admiration—was enough to dull the edge of your anger.
× × × ×
“Have you heard?” Lady Leah’s voice, soft but carrying the weight of scandal, broke through the hushed quiet of the drawing room. She leaned forward, her eyes wide with feigned innocence. “They still haven’t consummated.”
Lady Ravonna’s teacup paused halfway to her lips, a delicate brow arching. “The king and queen?” she murmured, as if the very notion were inconceivable. “How do you know?”
Leah’s lips curved into a smug smile. “People talk,” she said simply, glancing sideways at Sharon, who sat rigid, her fingers drumming against the arm of her chair. “And apparently, they talk quite a bit.”
“Seven days,” Lady Maya added softly, her gaze flitting between the women. “A week, and still… nothing?”
A delicate scoff escaped from Sharon’s lips, though her eyes were cold, calculating. “I’m not surprised. Our queen,” she sneered, the title dripping with disdain, “is too busy batting her lashes at Captain Rogers to notice she has a husband.”
The other women exchanged startled glances, shock and intrigue flaring to life in their eyes. Ravonna set her teacup down with deliberate care, her gaze narrowing slightly. “You’re saying there’s something between them?”
“I’m saying there’s enough for people to start talking,” Sharon replied coolly, her voice a low, dangerous purr. “You know how these things start—one whispered word, one lingering glance… and suddenly, there’s a story worth telling.”
Maya’s brow furrowed slightly, a hint of concern crossing her face. “But… the queen and the captain? It seems—”
“Impossible?” Sharon cut in sharply, “Hardly. The way he hovers around her, like she’s some delicate flower in need of protection… the way she looks at him, like he’s the answer to all her problems. It’s disgusting.”
The other women exchanged wary glances, sensing the venom simmering beneath Sharon’s words.
“Sharon, you should be careful,” Leah murmured softly, her gaze darting nervously to the door. “If people hear you speak like this—”
“Like what?” Sharon snapped, her voice laced with bitterness. “Like the queen is nothing more than a conniving bitch?” Her lips curled into a cruel smile, her eyes gleaming with malice. “Because that’s exactly what she is. A lying, manipulative whore who thinks she can just—”
“Sharon!” Maya hissed, glancing around the room frantically. “You can’t say that!”
But Sharon continued, undeterred, her voice lowering to a dangerous whisper. “She’s a whore,” she repeated, the word dripping with venom. “Parading herself around like some saint, when she’s got Captain Rogers hanging on her every word. And for what? To make a fool of the king?”
Ravonna shifted uncomfortably, leaning forward to place a calming hand on Sharon’s arm. 
“Sharon, enough,” she murmured firmly, her tone gentle but insistent. “You need to calm down. Words like that will only bring trouble.”
Sharon’s gaze snapped to Ravonna’s, her eyes blazing. “No. Words like that will bring the truth to light. The truth about what she really is.”
“But you don’t know that for sure,” Maya whispered urgently. “It’s all just… whispers. Hearsay.”
Sharon let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Whispers are all we need. Whispers will turn into rumors, and rumors will turn into truths, whether they’re real or not.” She straightened, her gaze steely. “I’ll make sure of it.”
The other ladies exchanged uneasy looks, their faces pale. But it was Leah who spoke up, her voice trembling slightly. “And what if this all backfires? What if the king doesn’t believe it?”
“Then we make sure he does,” Sharon said coldly, “We make sure everyone believes it. Because if she thinks she can just waltz in here and steal everything I’ve worked for… she’s got another thing coming.”
“What exactly are you saying, Sharon? What do you intend to do?” Ravonna frowned, her gaze skeptical.
Sharon’s smile was slow, almost sinister.
“Nothing. For now.” She leaned back in her seat, the picture of composed fury. “The court will tear her apart on its own, once they realize she’s unfaithful. Once they see her for what she truly is.”
“But… how?” Leah asked hesitantly, her brow furrowing. “There’s no proof. No evidence.”
“There doesn’t need to be,” Sharon said dismissively. “People love a scandal. And the more outlandish it seems, the more they’ll believe it.”
“But Sharon,” Ravonna murmured, her voice tight with unease. “You’re playing with fire. If the king finds out—”
“Let him,” Sharon snapped, cutting her off. “Let him see what his perfect queen is really like. A disloyal wife. A disgrace. He’ll thank me in the end.”
They exchanged uneasy glances, none daring to speak, none daring to question further.
Finally, it was Maya who broke the silence, her voice barely above a whisper. “But… what if it backfires?”
“Then it backfires,” Sharon said coolly, shrugging as if it were of no consequence. “But it won’t. Because I’ll make sure it doesn’t.” Her gaze hardened, her expression fierce. “No matter what it takes.”
× × × ×
The grand council chamber in the main palace was abuzz with tension, the air thick with barely restrained impatience and worry. High-ranking noblemen lined the long table, each one glancing nervously at the Dowager Queen as she entered the room with her head held high, her presence alone commanding silence.
Queen Winifred took her seat at the head of the table, her gaze sweeping over the gathered men. Prime Minister Fury, seated directly to her left, leaned forward, his brows knitted in frustration.
“It’s been seven days,” he began, his voice carrying a distinct edge of impatience. “Seven days, Your Majesty, and they still haven’t consummated their marriage.”
A murmur of agreement rippled through the room, voices low but urgent.
Lord Haynesworth, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, spoke up next, his tone carefully measured but no less troubled. “Your Majesty, the lack of consummation is… troubling, to say the least. The kingdom needs stability, and without a legitimate heir, we risk giving dissenters an opening to question the monarchy’s strength.”
“Indeed,” Duke Townsend of Lancaster agreed, his fingers drumming restlessly against the polished wood of the table. “There are already whispers. Rival factions are looking for any sign of weakness, and this... delay is giving them all the ammunition they need. We cannot afford to let them think the crown is vulnerable.”
Queen Winifred’s gaze narrowed slightly as she listened to their concerns, her face a mask of calm composure. She had expected this—expected the panic, the finger-pointing, the thinly veiled attempts to shift blame.
“And without an heir,” Lord Pierce added, his voice rising, “we’re risking more than just whispers. We’re risking civil unrest. There are already reports of some nobles openly questioning whether the king is... able to fulfill his duties.”
Another wave of murmured agreement swept through the chamber, the words laced with anxiety and fear. But Queen Winifred remained impassive, her fingers resting lightly on the arm of her chair.
“Gentlemen,” she said, her voice cutting through the noise like a blade, “you are all acting as if I do not understand why there needs to be an heir.” She leaned forward slightly, her gaze sharp and unyielding.
“You forget that I am the one who secured the throne for my son after the turmoil of his father’s reign. I am well aware of the consequences should there be no successor.”
A strained silence fell over the room as the noblemen shifted uncomfortably in their seats, chided by her words. But it didn’t last long.
“Then what is being done, Your Majesty?” Lord Haynesworth pressed, his voice lower now, but no less insistent. “The queen has failed to... inspire confidence in the king. If this continues, we may have to consider alternate measures.”
A tense murmur followed, the suggestion hanging ominously in the air. Queen Winifred’s gaze turned icy, her eyes boring into the man who dared to voice such a thought.
“Are you suggesting,” she said softly, dangerously, “that we undermine the queen’s position? That we destabilize her standing at court?”
Lord Haynesworth cleared his throat, looking away, but Prime Minister Fury leaned in, his voice grim.
“Your Majesty, we’re suggesting that you take action—swiftly and decisively. It’s clear that Queen Y/N is not—”
“Careful, Fury,” Queen Winifred interrupted, her voice low and lethal. “Choose your next words very carefully.”
The Prime Minister paused, visibly reining in his frustration. “Your Majesty, the queen’s actions have been... questionable. If she cannot perform her duties as a wife, how can we expect her to perform her duties as a queen?”
Another murmur of agreement rose from the table, the men nodding, emboldened by the Prime Minister’s words. But Queen Winifred’s gaze remained cold, calculating.
“There are still three days left before the period of seclusion ends,” she said firmly, cutting through their mutterings. “We will not resort to drastic measures based on impatience and rumors. The queen is more than capable of fulfilling her role, and I will not have her judged prematurely.”
“But Your Majesty—” Duke Townsend began, only to be silenced by a sharp glare from the Dowager Queen.
“Need I remind you all,” she continued icily, “that this entire situation was precipitated by the king’s absence and neglect? My son bears just as much responsibility for this situation, if not more. Do not lay the blame solely at the queen’s feet.”
“Of course not, Your Majesty.” A smooth, honeyed voice cut through the murmur of agreement, drawing all eyes to Lord Carter, seated near the middle of the table. He inclined his head slightly, his expression the picture of respectful deference. “We know the queen is… new to this role. As you said, she has shown great patience. But we must ensure she understands the gravity of her position.”
Queen Winifred’s gaze shifted to him, her expression cooling a fraction. “Are you implying that she does not?”
Lord Carter smiled gently, his fingers tapping lightly on the table in a rhythm that seemed almost contemplative. “Not at all, Your Majesty. I merely suggest that perhaps the queen might benefit from… additional guidance. From those more experienced in navigating the complexities of the court and the expectations that come with the crown.”
His tone was mild, even reasonable, but beneath the surface, there was an undercurrent of something dangerous, something quietly undermining. A subtle criticism wrapped in a layer of politeness, creating ripples of doubt with each carefully chosen word.
“And what sort of guidance would you suggest, Lord Carter?” Winifred asked, her voice deceptively soft.
He spread his hands, a faint smile touching his lips. “Nothing drastic, Your Majesty. Just… an assurance that she understands the full extent of what is at stake. We would not want any misunderstandings to arise, after all.”
Queen Winifred’s eyes narrowed slightly, but she nodded once, her gaze never leaving his. “I see. Well, rest assured, Lord Carter, I will make certain that the queen is fully aware of her responsibilities. And I will remind all of you once again—there are three days left. We will revisit this matter then.”
The subtle warning in her tone was not lost on the gathered men. They shifted uncomfortably, casting uneasy glances at one another.
“Three more days,” she repeated, her gaze sweeping over each of them, daring them to argue. “Until then, I expect every one of you to refrain from spreading further discontent and to let me handle this matter. Is that understood?”
A chorus of reluctant nods and mumbled affirmations followed, but none dared to protest further.
“Good,” Queen Winifred murmured, rising to her feet with regal grace. “Because should any of you take matters into your own hands before the honeymoon period ends, you will find yourselves facing more than just my displeasure.”
With that, she turned on her heel and swept out of the room, leaving the noblemen in stunned silence. As the heavy doors closed behind her, the men exchanged wary looks, unease settling like a shroud over the council chamber.
“She’s defending the queen,” Lord Trenton muttered, disbelief etched into his features. “I never thought...”
Lord Carter, his gaze lingering thoughtfully on the closed doors, smiled faintly, his expression carefully neutral. “Three days,” he repeated softly, his voice carrying a measured tone. “We shall see if the queen can prove herself worthy of that defense.”
“Three days,” Duke Townsend muttered, shaking his head. “She expects us to wait three more days while the court fills with rumors and discontent. This cannot end well.”
“Waiting is no longer a luxury we can afford,” Lord Pierce interjected quietly, his gaze darting toward Lord Carter. “We’re already seeing signs of division among the lower houses. If this continues…”
Prime Minister Fury leaned forward, his voice a low, harsh whisper. “It’s not just the lower houses we need to worry about. Every day without an heir gives the rivals more time to gather support. We need stability now.”
“Then perhaps,” Lord Carter said softly, his tone calm amidst the brewing storm, “it is not the queen we should be questioning.” His words drew curious, cautious glances, and he smiled faintly. “There are two parties in a marriage, after all. If an heir is what we need, perhaps we should be focusing our efforts elsewhere.”
A silence settled over the group, heavy and charged with unspoken meaning.
“You mean the king,” Duke Townsend murmured, a slight frown pulling at his features. “But His Majesty—”
“—Is just as responsible,” Lord Carter finished smoothly, his gaze steady. “We’ve already seen how his absence affects the queen’s standing. Perhaps it is time we remind him of the consequences if he continues to... neglect his duties.”
“Careful, Carter,” Prime Minister Fury warned, his voice laced with tension. “Tread lightly. The queen dowager may have left, but her influence hasn’t. One wrong move, and you’ll have more than the crown’s displeasure to contend with.”
Lord Carter’s smile never wavered, but his eyes held a dangerous glint. “I assure you, Prime Minister, I am well aware of where the true power lies. But if the queen dowager wishes to protect the queen, she must remember that protection does not extend to inaction.”
The men exchanged wary looks, the conversation shifting into murmured agreement. The line had been drawn, the challenge subtly issued. And even as they debated, the weight of Lord Carter’s words lingered in the air, thick with intent and unspoken plans.
Three days. Three days to see if the queen would succeed… or if the cracks in the crown would deepen beyond repair.
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