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fakescenariosbeforesleepblog · 3 months ago

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Have you had enough?

Targaryen reader x Aemond Targaryen x Aegon Targaryen.

Your husband and brother, Aemond, have been taking everything that belonged to Aegon. You're tired of it, the drop that spilled the glass was Aegon's incident. Your brother, the one who you actually love, badly injured, that was the end of your patience.

Warning ⚠️: Credits of this images goes to whoever they belong to, I took them from the Tumblr blogs: bbygirl-aemond / Winterswake/ tarth. Grammatical and spelling errors, I haven't watched this chapter of HOTD yet, I just needed to take the idea out of my mind so I can continue with a new chapter of the story (By fire and heart).

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Everybody running and walking from one room to another, you didn't understand at first why all the scandal until you saw a group of guards carrying your brother.

Aegon and you were close, spending much time together which your mother clearly didn't see with good eyes, you loved him in the way you couldn't love your husband.

Aemond took you as a wife and treated you with respect but not love, he never loved you, he simply took you because both were single and your little brother was far away from home to save you from that terrible unhappy marriage, it was only you and him, when he heard about your little secret romance with Aegon, he made you his wife before you could dishonor yourself that was his argument, but the truth was he did it for the simple fact to not give Aegon the satisfaction to also be the owner of you, or your body, silly Aemond never thought what actually mattered it was your heart, Aegon was deep inside your heart. A thousand men could be between your legs but only one could have your heart, loyalty and devotion.

You walked behind the guards questioning what happened. None of them could answer you, once they're in the king's chambers, one of the masters asks you to not interfere and wait out of the room.

- My princess, please you have to wait and let us work. In your conditions the least you need is stress.

You're going to respond when you see Aemond walking inside, he doesn't even stop to see you, you're sure he didn't listen to what the master told you, he walks directly to Aegon's bed. You walk and stay behind him, your tears falling as soon as you see your beloved brother, his precious face now half burned as much as the rest of his body, you're sure Aemond was behind all that, you left the room looking for Ser Criston, you found him on the way to your mother's chambers.

- What happened?

- My princess, I don't know, everything was fast, I just saw the king and his dragon falling.

- Don't dare to lie to me. Did my husband have something to do with this?

He doesn't talk but silently nod at you. Your body is burning with rage, you're furious you would love to burn your husband alive. His thirst for... power? Revenge for the traumas of childhood? Whatever it was, has taken it too far. Your nephews death and now your brother fighting for his life, Rhaenyra claiming the throne, dealing with a war and the pain of her newborn and Lucerys deaths, the poor Helaena trying to accept her son's death too and now carrying with a husband who probably will end as your father ended, in that bed looking the days and nights go until the gods have mercy and let him die.

You've been avoiding Aemond since they arrived, you spent much of your time with Aegon, Helaena doesn't complain, she's okay with it, she always knew your feelings for her husband, she's glad you're taking care of him and occasionally visit the king's chambers to help you or at least to talk with you. Even your mother visited Aegon, but there were no signs of Aemond.

Until one evening, you were holding Aegon's hand, whispering something close enough to him hoping he somehow could listen to what you were sharing with him, when the doors of his room opened, you did not see him but you were sure it was Aemond for the sound of his boots on the floor, you know his way to walk by heart.

- Ao spend olvie jēda kesīr (you spend much time here)

- Se ao spend olvie jēda sitting va zȳhon dēmalion (And you spend much time sitting on his throne)

You don't Even look at him, you're still holding Aegon's hand, contemplating what once was his face.

- Perhaps my wife could support me as much as she's supporting our brother. Your devotion to him is admirable, but it's what I'm expecting you to give me, not to him.

- Why would I support you? All the atrocities you've been causing and you expect me to congratulate you, to love you?

- Are you accusing me of something, wife?

His jaw tensed, his eye looks at you full of anger.

- Don't pretend you're innocent, I know you. You always wanted to take Aegon's place. You always take what is not yours, tell me husband, have you had enough? What else do you want?

Before he can argue again, Aegon opens his eyes, with the few strength he still has, he squeezes your hand.

Aemond notices it and pushes you aside, he starts to talk with Aegon, asking him what he remembers, he insists it wasn't his dragon who attacked him. Aegon simply says he doesn't remember anything, but you know he's lying, Aegon always has been good to keep himself safe, his facility to preserve his own survival and right now his only chance to survive it was to pretend he did not remember what happened.

Aemond was not going to leave the discussion in the air. He left but you're sure he will be back to try to make you regret your accusations.

Just as you predicted, At the hour of the owl, he appeared in your chambers, you were awake, looking through your window, you know how much he hates your indifference against him.

- So, what else will you take from our brother this time?

You say without any worry. Aemond walks until he's right behind you, you can feel his jaw against your head.

- What he expected to claim too. You.

He whispered while placing his hands around your waist, you couldn't contain your laughing, Aemond confusion made it harder to keep. You laughed loudly on his face, you are now face to face with your husband, he has never seen that look, your eyes darkened and your smile was full of evil, giving him a small kiss on the lips, murmuring almost whispering.

- Oh Aemond, do you seriously think I was still a pure untouched little princess?

He stepped back, his face doesn't show any emotion but you can feel his blood boiling.

- I am pregnant.

- Liar. I made everything to be sure he would not put a finger on you.

- Ask the master, I'm waiting for my first child.

Seeing his body tensed and full of anger brings you a new kind of feeling, it's an addictive pleasure you didn't know could exist.

-You know what makes it funnier? Even if one day I have your child, he will be just like you.

- What do you mean?

- A Second son who will not inherit anything. Or even better you will never have a child with me because I will prefer to be burned alive before giving birth to your children.

He quickly takes you by the neck and slams you against the wall, pressing his body against yours, even with the lack of air in your lungs, the pleasure of seeing him frustrated makes you feel alive, excited. He released you and left the room without saying more.

Once you take some air, you smile to yourself, your husband and his poor try to keep you away from Aegon, expecting to have you all for himself, but not even your body belongs to Aemond, he never thought he would be so frustrated about such a little thing like that, not having your love or your respect was the last thing he thought he would care about, the last thing he would desire to have more than anything else.

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agathaswoman · 4 months ago

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Blood or Loyalty

Pairing — Rhaenyra Targaryen x Queensguard Fem!Reader and Alicent Hightower x Kingsguard Fem!Reader's Twin

Word Count — 1,254

Request — Yes or No

Hi how have you been

I have a story that I think will be interesting if you don’t mind writing it

so if have watched the latest episode of HOD then you know the twin ser arryk was sent to pretend to be his brother ser errik so he can murder the queen but in the fanfic idea I have the reader has a twin who stayed back in kings landing with the greens because she’s in love with Alicent, but aegon sends the reader’s twin to dragon stone to pretend to be the reader and kill rhaenyra and you can decide how it ends

Does she die or does she catch on

Summary — Having to face your twin with your sword pointing at her and vice versa. Will your moral and loyalty for the rightful heir Queen Rhaenya will falter while trying to stop your beloved twin from harming the Queen?

Warnings — violence, anxiety attack, and breaking down

A/N — hi, yes, im back after years of hiatus T_T and im here again because of House of the Dragon omg i just love this series so much and tbh i still haven't watched any episodes on season 2 since im still waiting for it to finish hehe BUT i've seen some clips so i have bit of an idea about the request. what team are y'all on? im team black since day 1 !!!

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. i do not own any of the characters.

It is currently a slow night for you as you are patrolling the castle grounds, clad in your full armor while clutching the hilt of your sword that you named, ‘Porphura Hexen.’ Whereas ‘Porphura’ means purple, which is associated with “nobility, power, and ambition” while ‘Hexen’ comes from how people make rumors about you practicing witchcraft because of the unexplainable deaths of the men that tried to win your heart, where it's a guarantee that they will meet their demise. It's either they die on battlefields, catch a sickness that does not have a cure, or even how the family of those men slowly lose their riches and connections.

You were looking over the castle's embrasure when you heard unusual heavy footsteps that you hadn't heard ever since Queen Rhaenyra made you her Queensguard. You quickly unsheathed ‘Porphura Hexen’ as you stealthily followed the noise, you immediately quickened your pace when you heard Queen Rhaenyra's soft voice saying your name. You immediately barged into her room, and there, you saw your twin sister clutching her sword tightly and pointing its tip toward the Queen.

“Sestra!” You called your twin in your native language.

Without hesitation, you charged forward with your sword to attack your twin to take her attention off the Queen. She instantly turned your way and blocked your attack.

“What are you doing, sestra?!” You shouted at her trying to put some sense in her head.

“King's order! This is the King's order!” She shouted back at you as she was trying to prevent your sword from getting close to her neck.

“King's order, my arse! Stop this madness now! Are you out of your mind for trying to harm the rightful heir of the Iron Throne?!” You screamed at her as you put your strength on your legs so you could stand your ground and let the Queen run out of the room.

“My Queen! Go! Leave the room!” You said as you pushed your sister's body far from the Queen's way with the help of the force from your legs.

You heard your sister's body crash on a shelf which made the books fall on top of her head. So, you immediately went to your Queen's side and helped her up so she could escape the room along with the servant who got involved in the mess.

“Go, My Queen. I'll handle this,” when Rhaenyra was about to run along with the servant next to her, you reached for her wrist and gave her your dagger, quietly exchanging silent stares, “Take this. Be careful…my Queen.”

You didn't wait for Rhaenyra's response as you immediately dodged an attack from your twin when she aggressively swung her sword at you.

“Go! Alert the guards!” You felt guilty for trying to order the Queen but it will always be your mission to guarantee the Queen's safety, no matter what.

Once you were sure that the Queen had a safe distance from your twin, you gave all your focus towards her and only deflected her attacks to you.

After a minute of only deflecting your twin's attacks, she cornered you into a corner with her blade's tip pointing at your neck, “Sestra…we should be in this together. You and I, just like the old times. We're born together, aren't we?” she tried to convince you.

“This isn’t just about the King's order…isn't it?” You asked, staring right into her eyes. Ever since the both of you are young gals, she can never hide the way her eyes falter when it is faced with your own piercing eyes.

She avoided your gaze, “It's about the Queen Dowager, ain't it?” She remained silent, only her shaky breaths indicated that your guess was right. “She's only using you, sestra!”

“My affairs with the Queen Dowager aren't and shouldn't be any of your concern,” she raised her voice a little bit when you spoke the truth.

“Not my concern? Have you gone mad?!” You looked at her with anger, not seeing the person in front of you as your twin sister anymore. You scoffed while frowning at her, “Just like the old times, huh? We took an oath! A vow, sestra! We are to fulfill our sacred duty To protect and serve the realm! Where have your honor and morals gone to, huh? They usurped Queen Rhaenyra's throne! The rightful heir!”

You sighed, leaned your head on the wall behind you, “Sestra…” Your twin whispered as she slowly lowered her blade pointing at your neck.

You looked straight into her eyes, “We were born together, weren't we?” You said as you swiftly plunged your extra dagger into your twin's stomach, “You parted us…you forgot your oath, our vow, sestra.”

You watched her fall on her knees with blood coming out of her mouth and eyes going dull in seconds, “But I still love you, sestra.”

A thud was heard when your twin's body completely fell on the floor, her eyes looking at you with a lone tear streaming down to her cheek and the stone-cold floor.

You fell on your knees as you stared at her cold dead body. You heard multiple footsteps entering the room but you only focused on your twin's form as you slowly closed her lifeless eyes.

You took a deep sigh as you stood up with a grunt whilst picking up your sword. You faced the small council that gathered in the room with only their sleeping garments, “The assassinator of the Queen that was sent by The Greens has been exterminated.” You reported to them.

You swallowed deeply when you felt the urge to sob, but not here. Not in front of them. As the small council kept on discussing the event that happened, Rhaenyra only stared at you. She saw how your hands were quivering while trying to calm them by gripping your sword's hilt.

Rhaenyra cleared her throat, and the small council immediately turned silent, “Ser Y/N, you're dismissed. You've done enough for the day.”

You immediately turned your head at the Queen, “But, My Queen. With all due respect, as your Queensguard, it is my dut–”

“I am fully aware of what your duty is, Ser Y/N” Rhaenyra took a deep breath, “As my Queensguard, I need you on your best. So, please, take a rest. At least, just for a while.”

“We will still need you, Ser Y/N,” Rhaenys, Ser Corlys's wife, added.

Ser Alfred approaches you and pats your shoulder, “I'll take care of the things here myself. Now, in the meantime, take a rest.”

You sighed as most of the votes were against you staying around the small council. So, you dismissed yourself and went straight ahead to your room.

As you entered your room, you carefully took off your silver armor on your body and placed it neatly on its storage. You took your bloodied dagger as you sat on the edge of your bed.

The moment you sat on your bed, your twin’s voice rang inside your head, “Sestra, you…a-are always the better between the both of us. K-Keep believing y-yourself…and keep p-protecting the Q-Queen…Rhaenyra. I love you…” Your twin sister breathed her last breath after saying her last words.

You sighed deeply as you stood up and took a damp cloth to clean your dagger. As you are cleaning your sharp dagger, you feel your tears falling onto your hands. Soft sobs rang inside your room as you broke down behind closed doors, missing your twin's presence more than ever.

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murasaki-cha · 4 months ago

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hello, may I ask where are you reading the newest chapters of tcf in english? i've seen screens on your page up to 300+ chapters and on eatapplepies chapters are only up to 200... (part 2 ofc).

Also, what do you think of part 2 in general? I was hesitant to start it since I've heard some negative opinions, is it true there's barely any heartwarming interactions between characters like those from part 1?

I read the raws on Kakaopage and translate it with google translate.

As for me I am thoroughly enjoying part 2 so much! It's been great so far in my opinion and the character interactions are just as I expected.

I think people were disappointed because the Soos didn't have a more "touching" reunion but for me their reunion fits with their feelings right now. They still haven't completely opened up about their feelings about LSH and CJS death and the fact that both of them jave been watching over KRS all this time. Right now they're just content with being reunited again.

Also there were a lot of touching interactions for example between Choi Han and Choi Jung Soo, Sherrit and the Dragon Half Blood, lots of Dad Cale and his children averaging 10-years-old, there was this touching moment of of Lock saying that Cale felt like a father to him, bext arc is going to be more Alberu centred, there was this funny moment where Cale had to give a speach in front of a whole academy and Alberu and Sui Khan were laughing at him because he REALLY didn't want to give that speach, etc.

Also we have gotten a lot of new characters that are instantly becoming some of my favourites like our beloved Heavenly Demon! And honestly because a lot of different genres are being uncluded as Cale travels to different worlds the spoilers I get to give people just keep getting more and more confusing it's hilarious🤣🤣🤣

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #tcf novel #tcf part 2 #laws of hunting #cale henituse

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dorkynerd23 · 2 months ago

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My Problem With Vanitymoth/My Thoughts.

Hello guys!! Hope you're all doing good and well and you've been having a good and wonderful day/night. Now, this will sorta be a mixture of a critical/rant post, as this is someone I've been wanting to talk about as they're someone who's been criticized and talked about (mostly negatively) In regardless to the Murder Drones Community and I wanted to give my thoughts and opinions on this dude, as I don't think he's a very good cartoon reviewer but before I start PLEASE DON'T SEND ANY HATE!! This isn't meant for me to bash and send hate towards this dude, please don't do that shit as it's not worth it and doesn't make you any better, I just wanted to give my thoughts and criticisms about Vanity and his content, your allowed to critique him but don't send any hate. Anyways, the one I'm gonna be talking about is Vanitymoth and if you're not familiar and haven't heard of him, Vanity is basically a cartoon reviewer with about 12.8K subscribers and his first video which was uploaded back in 2022 (around the same year his channel was created) and was about Panty And Stocking and his channel wasn't as popular when he first started out and I discovered him around this time and thought his videos were decent and fine enough at the time, especially as he had a small following around the time but I honestly think it wasn't until he made his first MD video is when he really started to get more popular and I subscribed to him once he started making MD reviews as I was a huge fan around the time.

In the beginning I thought Vanity was a fine and decent enough reviewer and he seemed valid and gave some interesting points in his videos, but I started to notice some changes once he started putting out some more negative videos with one of the ones being his trashfire of a review on Lackadaisy and most of the time for his review he's just complaining and nitpicking as some stuff, (even though I do think in some aspects he can be valid) being negative most of the time, the only thing he really praises in Lackadaisy is the animation but doesn't bother really giving any more positive thoughts even though there is so much to adore and love about Lackadaisy, even if you aren't 100% familiar with the source material I think you'd still be able to follow along fine and enjoy the Pilot. But with Vanitymoth, it seems just didn't seem to understand and get the Pilot or what even the concept of a Pilot Is..the whole point of a Pilot Is to introduced you to the world, the setting where the story is taking place in and introduce the characters we'll be following along, and although Lackadaisy isn't perfect at all, no piece of media is, but I think they did a good job. Another thing Vanitymoth is that in his reviews for most of the time he thinks his opinions are the definitive answers to the direction the show is going and bashes people who actually know to have fun with the show and sees his opinions as definite facts.

He also constantly whined and complains about TADC getting more attention than MD, like he's complained about it a lot, he mentions it at some points in his "The Slow Death Of Murder Drones Fandom" and it seems he had an issue of another Glitch having another show going on that was more popular, like...you don't have to enjoy and like TADC but you don't need to put one show down to praise the other, why not enjoy both shows?? Also, the thing about the MD fanbase dying after the show ends, which I don't think will happen as the fandom has gotten bigger and popular since the Pilot's release and the show will still be rewatched and beloved by fans and others even now the show's over and just because a fandom doesn't interact 24/7 doesn't mean it's dead, that's like saying the Gravity Falls fandom died after the show ended..like the show is still popular and the fandom is still huge even years after the show's finale, besides Glitch has expressed that they wanna do more with MD in the future so we'll probably be seeing more of these characters in the near future, so that doesn't make sense and it seems Vanity only wants Glitch to favor MD only and it's just frustrating.

Now, let's discuss his MD reviews..alright so first let me started off my saying that I'm fine with being critical and being criticism and there's many things you can critique about MD as it's NOT a perfect show but as I said the thing with Vanity is that he seems so damn negative in almost all his MD reviews even though some points can be valid, but most of the time to me..his criticisms just seems in bad faith, not valid and just him pulling stuff and random theories out of nowhere to fit his own narrative. Let's point out and start on how he just doesn't understand and gets the characters in the slightest, he doesn't shy away or even try to hide in the slightest that he's got hatred for both N and Uzi, Nuzi especially as a couple..but is totally fine and ships Cyn and N together and then got pissed at the fanbase and acted like a baby because nobody liked the ship, like jesus dude..

And he's also mischaracterized the characters like most in the fandom do unfortunately but he's done it the most to both N and Uzi especially, like I said he doesn't shy away that he hates them with a burning passion. He's shown his hatered for Uzi (not even surprised in the slightest as he commissioned some hate art of Uzi getting beat up by J) and mischaracterized her and saying how her whole character is only involved around N and is blaming her just like some haters of Uzi and it's just frustrating..like UZI DIDN'T do anything wrong at all and characters can be characters on their own and have a love interest, I'm really sick and tired of all the Uzi hate is annoying as hell and frustrating, even after the finale Uzi is still getting hated and it's just so unjustified, Vanity and others need to realize that Uzi has gone through something called..."CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!" ✨💜 Y'all seem to NOT understand and get it and just wanna say certain things to make characters look worse and awful and overall don't get these characters, oh and don't get me started on his video about N's character analysis..and similar to Uzi, he doesn't understand and get N and called him "obsessive" over Uzi and and killed "Tessa" without a second thought and seems to see N as some yandere or something. And he's doing this all because he hates Nuzi, like you don't have to like this ship but acting this way and getting this mad and acting the way you do over a FUCKING ship is childish as shit, and another thing is that he literally pulled something from non-canon and called it a "pattern" because of Liam Vickers or some stuff like that and reading Vanity's so-called theories and analysis just reminds me of "Analysis so bad you don't even know what it's talking about anymore" thread over on Twitter, his video and the way he analysis N's character by ignoring his feelings and trying to paint him as this savior lunatic that's so obsessed with Uzi that he'd sacrifice the universe and loved ones just to have her is just...mischaracterization is an understatement, a straight-up bastardization of his entire personality and arc, Vanity doesn't understand or get any of these characters and gives these bad takes to make them look worse.

He's currently working on his review on the finale and I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest like as I said, I'm all for giving criticisms and you're allowed to love and be a fan of show I'm the same way, and I'm sure others are the same and don't blindly praise whatever they like 24/7 and see them as perfect, you're allowed to feel how you feel and you're valid and allowed to not like the finale. But most of the time in Vanity's videos is that it's mostly negative and he complains about almost anything, even nitpicking the smallest things and he barely discusses the positives about he reviews and uses his opinions as definite facts. It sucks because I really did enjoy and liked Vanity as a reviewer in the beginning as he did bring up some valid points and was decent as a YouTuber but as he kept on putting out more videos, getting more popular he just seemed to get more and more negative and I saw a quality drop in his videos, he's barely positive in his videos and it just makes him unpleasant and boring to watch and hard to fully enjoy his stuff.

Really hope this little rant sounded fair and was okay, I don't really do these type of posts anymore and don't wanna be mean as the intension of this post was to give some opinions on this person. Once again, this isn't me trying to send any hate to Vanity and I'll say once more, please DON'T send any hate and bother him, I just wanted to give my thoughts and opinions about him and his content as I've had some issues with his content since 2023'ish and wish he could improve as an reviewer and just be more fairer when it comes to what he reviews, along with seeing that people are allowed to enjoy and love more than one show and just because one show is getting more popular doesn't make another show any lesser, both TADC and MD are great and incredible shows made by talented and amazing people, Meta Runner is also another good (very underrated, btw) show and I know Gaslight District will probably be a great too, nobody shouldn't be holding and putting these shows against each other, bashing and praising different shows, please support all shows and indie animation as a whole. ❤️

#murder drones #liam vickers animation #glitch productions #vanitymoth #rant post #critical thoughts #cartoon reviewer

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zorosq · 1 year ago

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out of touch ; roronoa zoro

↻ angst, character death, grammatical error :<

↻ pairing ↬ zoro x gn!reader!

a/n my writing skills are rusty 😭 haven't wrote anything decent in months. hope this is good tho <3

to be fair, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. he doesn’t understand it. he really doesn’t. when did he last saw your smile? what happened? what happened to your smile? what took it away?

he misses it. he misses talking to you. he misses your smile. he misses everything about you. he misses you.

so, really? what went wrong?

“y/n,” zoro called out to you as per usual, his expression remained empty yet his eyes held so much love and affection for you. you wished you could return his love-filled gaze. but you couldn’t.

you only stared at him blankly and nod in acknowledgement.

he really doesn’t understand it. why were you treating him this way? had he done something unforgivable for you to suddenly act cold towards him? but then again, you were suddenly acting that way towards everyone in the crew. he wondered what was wrong.

“i will curse you! i will curse you that you will suffer all alone! if you dare to show your true feelings, all the people you love and care for will die!” the words rang in your ears as clear as day.

it was all your fault. you made a miscalculation and ended with a curse. you could not speak about the curse, you could not show your care for others. you couldn’t do anything. you were helpless.

the only way was to shut everyone out.

the battlefield was filled with blood. fallen bodies everywhere. you frantically tried to find your beloved family. your beloved lover...

your eyes turned to every corner of the building, trying to find any signs of the straw hats. but they were nowhere to be found. amidst it all, you didn’t realized how the enemies were trying to attack you all at once.

you returned to reality the moment a sword plunged into you.

and only then you could hear the others screaming for your name. and you could hear his voice the clearest.

without wasting time, zoro quickly went to your side, his face filled with panic and despair. “hey, stay with me,” he said softly, resting your head on his lap. “chopper will he here soon. chopper! chopper!” zoro frantically tried to find the reindeer.

“zoro...” your voice croaked out. “it’s fine...” you forced a smile. “it’s not fine! you’re going to die!” he raised his voice, you could see tears filling his eye. your hand reached up and quickly wiped away the tears before it fell. “i love you... i’m sorry for not being able to show you that...” you smiled softly. “i love you so much... it hurts me to leave you...”

“please...”

“tell the others that i love them,” you smiled, your visions slowly fading out. you could see the pain in his eye as he tried to call out to you. his voice echoed in your ears, slowly fading to nothing.

the last thing you heard was him saying, “please... stay...”

#zoro x reader #one piece zoro #one piece fanfiction #one piece #one piece scenario #one piece fandom #zoro #roronoa zoro #angst #zoro angst #x reader

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jessaerys · 8 months ago

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your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

#death note #meronia #mello dn #near dn #mihael keehl #nate river #mello #near #fic recs #this took so long to compile dfkgjfdjkgfdjk

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isabeauwolf · 4 months ago

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Alright.

Since it's been days since we've gotten to see our beloved birdman Kai Chisaki one more time in the manga, we've all let our feelings out about his ending, either you hated it or not. Felts depressed and sad.

I gotta ask all of my fellow Overhaul, Kai Chisaki stans and fans: What made you pick Overhaul as your favorite character/ Villain in MHA?

What made him draw you in?

Fascinate you?

Fall for him so hard, he drew you away from your previous anime/manga husband or wifu?

Where you a manga or anime only before his handsome villainous yakuza birdman came into your life?

Was it is character design? Mannerisms? His powerful quirk? His plan to erase quirks, his serum and determination to restore the Shie Hassaikai into power? His godly voice by both Kenjiro Tsuda and Kellen Goff?

(Pst, honestly, I love it all ;) His man's got my heart is a death grip; even if, he's competing with Trafalgar Law for my attention and affection, and now Dabi.)

Instead of throwing around all the hate surrounding this man. Let's send him off with a bang! Love, support, the whole she-bang, even if, you still high disagree with his actions towards Pops and Eri.

-------------------------------------------------------------

(If every seems out of order or all over the place, I'm sorry! Please be, patient with me, and thank you!)

I've give my personal thoughts on Kai Chisaki, Overhaul. My yakuza birdman husband here! (huge breakdown/ summary, rant about this man; spoilers ahead!) Not like, I haven't been doing that the whole time, I've been on here XD I've talked with other Overhaul/Kai stans and fans on here, giving my two cents, which I love and appreciate to everyone who's talked and fangirled/boyed with me!

Be warned that I might to ramble, and this whole thing might now make sense, or is all over the place, again, I'm sorry! But if you don't mind, I thank you!

I started off as an anime only, and watched on my own time. Even if I heard AFO's introduction, and All For One's and All Might's battle at Kamino Ward and All Might saying goodbye One For All in subbed first; my husband was watching it the living room while I was on my laptop watching a different series. The music drew me in and I couldn't look away, watching the whole battle with baited breath until it was over.

Then I watched the series by myself since I couldn't sleep months after. Cheering for Deku, smiling and crying with hm.

I watch in dubbed first, since it's hard to focus on subbed while having a toddler running around. XD Then rewatch it in subbed form.

Anyways, at the end of season 3 we get a tease of Overhaul's introduction. His voice, golden eyes drew me in, hook line and sinker.

I've always been a sucker for bad boys and I love a man that wears a suit. lol So it gave Overhaul some brownie points. I know it isn't just me! Don't lie, haha.

The fact that Overhaul straight up challenged Shigaraki for the spot as the next King of the Underworld, pointing out his mistakes and lack of motivation once more; the same as Stain had in the previous hard, showing that Overhaul himself had been in the game a bit longer than Shiggy.

Overhaul while insulting the younger villain was indeed asking the right questions. Shiggy had misused and lost his powerful NPC's during the Training Camp attack with the Vanguard Action Squad, Muscular and Moonfish.

He had every right to question his motives.

Overhaul is blunt and spoke the truth about Shiggy's leadership skills, even if it ending with Magne's death. As sad as it was she did attack him first when if she was defending her belief's and the league, she didn't have to die. Compress didn't have to lose an arm.

The confrontation and damage done on both side makes you see that Overhaul is a dangerous man, with an equally dangerous quirk on top of being able to bring someone back to life if he wanted to, showcasing the quirk erasing bullets. We hadn't really seen an onscreen death before then, or at least, not that I remember.

Overhaul is cold blooded and driven, but calm and calculated; he's a man who's not afraid to get his hands dirty when he needs to, despite his quirks drawback and hate of the aftermath.

When we meet him again with Shigaraki at the Shie Hassaikai underground meeting room, and the bits given by Sir Nighteye, it's clear that Overhaul has the means to til the scales of Villain and Hero society, if he was given more time and wasn't fighting against the clock. He still needed more funding and man power to mass product both sets of bullets.

Had he succeeded and gotten away with his arms still intact, despite losing Eri to the Heroes, we might have seen him and the right bullets again down the line, but it wasn't in the cards.

(We finally get to see Kai, our birdman unmasked and his poor man get's done soooo dirty! First it's his stoic and impressive, criminally handsome face, then Shiggy took his hard work, him and Mr Compress tag-teamed taking his hands away, leaving him quirkless, helpless, in despair and he's terrified! Not for himself, but because without his quirk he can't reverse the damage he's done to pop's, he can't wake him up or talk to him again.)

Underestimating the Heroes, The League, and being overly cocky and arrogant played a major part of his own fall. His isolation from others and seeing his subordinates and closest friend as pawns to be used and thrown away didn't help, yet the men closest to his inner circle were indeed the most loyal of his followers.

It wasn't outright said, but shown that Overhaul himself was forgiving and understanding when Chrono or Nemoto made mistakes, he didn't scold them or yell at them.

( If I missed anything in this summary, let me know. XD )

He's a well written character and villain. A man possessed and obsessed with fulfilling his goals, repaying Pops, the man who took him in and gave him a home, a place to be himself.

The way Pops found Chisaki as a boy, alone, covered in filth and I imagine he was hungry, always made me feel as if we were missing something from his past. He wanted more than anything to replay the man who saved him and rebuilding the Shie Hassaikai's former glory and reputation along with returning people quirkless.

Might have saved so many lives who were eventually lost, but at the end of the day, he still choose the darkest route and solution.

If the Quirk Doomsday theory we've heard about and snippets we've seen so far. Different combinations of quirks are getting stronger and stronger, people like Touya who's bodies destroys itself while using his fire. There may come a time where not even support items could save a person from their overly strong and destructive quirk.

Could you imagine what he could have done with his quirk, if he was a doctor?! He could have replaced recovery girl's position as UA's school nurse or even a Doctor since healing quirks are so rare.

Of course, I'm not saying what he did was justified by any means.

Kai Chisaki, Overhaul is practically The Fullmetal Alchemist in MHA without the use of Equivalent Exchange! Yes, he threw away his human name, becoming, "a demon with no heart" as Pops says.

As we see him fuse with Nemoto and Rikiya Katsukame, each fusion he becomes more monstrous, a much more darker version of himself; fulling giving into "Overhaul," his villain persona, not carrying who he has to hurt to get his way.

I will admit that I'm down bad for Kai/Overhaul and his Monsterhaul form, Nemoto version, but the giant monster form, lol

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Knowing about him being in Dr Garaki's/AFO's orphanage and that Shigaraki has a copy of his quirk. They more they parallel each other so much more after that reveal.

It explains so much about his character!

Kai Chisaki won't flat out say it or address it, neither has Horikoshi but its clear that he was heavily traumatized and abused as a kid before Pops found him.

Oh yes, the trauma bucket! Like our beloved characters in the series doesn't have enough trauma as it is. Let's see how far that habit hole goes for Kai? -_-

The lack of remorse for his victims, justifies his action, manipulative, lack of physical response to violence, deception, and hostel, his acts are usually well planned in advance, irritability and aggressive behavior when provoked, reckless disregard for safety of others - antisocial and sociopathic tendencies.

Lack of empathy, believes he's special and the only one who can cure the world, need for admiration from Pops, his abandonment and self-worth issues go hand-in-hand with his fear of his father figure throwing him out of the Shie Hassaikai with his final ultimatum of dropping his plan.

Out of everything, we only get sprinkles here and there that Kai had done before snapping.

You can see it, the way he tenses and his hands ball into a fists, no doubt, surprised, shocked, hurt even before redirected into anger and violence.

Putting his father figure into a coma, and taking matters into his own hands. Become the villain, we all know and love, adore, praise, however you see him as.

Before becoming "Overhaul," Kai used to get into brawls with anyone who dared disrespect the Shie Hassaikai, and wants to help the boss; protecting the honor of the yakuza and protecting them from being called, "Villains." (Classic delinquent behavior, I imagine he did it in high school since we've seen him do it as an adult.)

We see him wear normal clothes: black dress pants, blazer and purple dress shirt, no gloves and a black duster mask over his face. (I'd honestly, love to see Kai in more civilian, classy outfits! More unbuttoned shirts and all, please!)

Even if Pops scolding him and explaining that they must protect civilians instead of hurting them, the old man still affectionately pets the top of his head and praises him for protecting their honor. Which in itself is a kind gesture, but something I think he took a little too much into his heart.

The scolding for doing something dishonorable, but praised for his intentions has overtime been taken form into the most cold and logical extreme actions.

Nobody can deny that Overhaul's got drip! XD

Overhaul's more professional outfits: the red and gold plague doctor's mask, and white gloves. Borrowing inspiration from All For One, he uses his quirks name as his alias, his Villain name and quirk ability, the idea for his quirk erasing and serum, as "Overhaul", he can kill and wants to change the world.

To preserve the past, he must engage with the present and became a villain out of necessity.

What's the difference?

The differences between a young Kai standing up for his father's honor and the snarling demon he has become. All of it against a world that had clearly outgrown him and the old ways of the Yakuza, but he refused to accept it and to protect his only family and most precious person, Pops.

As we've been in the latest chapter of MHA, without his quirk, without his arms and plague mask, and the last time we saw him. Kai Chisaki, inside is still a boy who wants to make his father figure proud and wants attention and praise.

As Pop's said before he took things too far again, shoving the older man's wisdom and wishes aside, taking action into his own hands, not only crossing the line between the gray that Pop's held against the Villains' and Heroes, Black and White, Kai instead, erased the line and jumped over it, making his own line and walked into a dangerous and dishonorable path.

======= What I missed last minute, sorry guy's.... I'm almost done, I swear! =======

It's clear, that he's smart and well educated, he could have studied as a medical student, read medical journals during his free time or just because he was a huge science and medical geek, we will never know.

My bet's on the ladder, practicing how to control his quirk and for the fun of it. He's the type of person to obssess with something and run away with it, a concerting amount.

You can't tell me that Pop's didn't walk in to Kai's room or living room, seeing Kai asleep on the couch or floor with a book either on his face or on his chest! Or Kai geeking out over a first edition or rare medical journal he found or Pop's and Hari had given him as a birthday present!

The birdman is such a workaholic that he's no doubt forgotten about his birthday, if Pop's or Hari didn't plan something for him!

If Kai is such a health nut and germ, wash your hands after every speck of dusk lands on your hands, then I need to know his skincare routine!

Do you think his hands is soft?

We know he works out from how jacked he is from his back and abs, fuck, I'd gladly claim him like a tree X////////////x

I'm not the only one who wanted him to have those traditional tatts, right? Of course, it's optional and traditional, but come on! I excepted to see the Shie Hassaikai's embalm, sakura or at least, a raven something! Anything! Hell, all three! Well, in my fanfic he does.

Also, Lady Nagant, you lucky woman, getting to touch and dress Kai!

Wish, I could trade places to pamper and comfort this man.

Screw you, AFO, Kai comes first.

I don't care if Kai comes off as stuck-up, spoiled rich brat, a bubble bath princess, narcissist and a asshole. If given the change to rock this man's world and fuck his brains out, you bet your ass I would!

If he could put up with my ditzy, clumsy, sassy, way too honest and smart-ass mouth, then fine. Baby needs to laugh more! I wanna see him smile!

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Well, it's almost 2am and I'm going to be. XD If you've had to through my rant/rambling of Kai. Share your thoughts with me... again, sorry for it being too long and wayyyyy all over the place.

Of course, I always forget something...... XD

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lioncourtie · 4 months ago

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hurricanes & sun-dented rooms: a symbolic analysis of relationships in interview with the vampire.

˖⋆࿐໋

hello. i have decided to resurrect this blog to point out a symbolic element that caught my eye after my first watch of interview with the vampire’s eighth episode, the unholy finale of what was quite frankly one of the best seasons out there.

now, i know that maybe this wasn’t that intentional, even if the remarkably talented crew behind the show loves incorporating hidden, symbolic details in it , but the visible sunray during the loumand reunion (post burning the theatre des vampires, all hail the pointe du lac heir) was so flagrant to me. quite literally, i felt as thought it was denting the scene, keeping both characters apart, louis on one side, calmer, proud of his newly accomplished plan, yet still tormented by the trial, and armand, desperately trying to lie, to convince, to make louis stagger so that they'd once again end up on the same side.

different feelings, different states of mind, different motivations.

now, we all know how vampires die most of the time: sun exposure, right? and what was right in the middle of the room, as present as a third entity? the sun, keeping them apart, even if, for the seventy years that followed, louis had granted armand his forgiveness, however never whole, after the latter had lied to him about his implications in the trial, and therefore, in the death of his beloved daughter.

but alsoooooo. one thing that i keep hearing is armand being a seventy year rebound for louis, and while i do agree with that statement, i also feel like that postburningodowntheatredesvampires paris apartment scene showcases that very aspect of their relationship well. two people who will never be able to fully merge, to fully meet, to be one, because they'll forever be set apart by the sun, by death. the death of louis and lestat (the real soulmates, after all) after that scene in magnus’ lair. the death of claudia, as orchestrated by armand, even if unknown at the time, remains still in the midst of their closeness, their proximity clouded by that energy, those lies. louis flew toxicity only to make his home in a manipulator's, a liar's warm, welcoming, yearning arms, only to realize that the abuse had shape shifted. a relationship built on lies and fragments of memories can never last forever, after all. and while lestat isn't that much better, (and boy am i not getting into this conversation today!!!!), he is louis’s love. one and only real love, bound together by the unique maker creation red string of fate, by shared dreams, promises, tragedies, and a daughter. who (arguably) died at their hand, but first and foremost, in front of their eyes. anne rice's characters will always be toxic, part vile, part good, but always fucked, and everyone has their own interpretation of why these two or these two belong together: that was mine, heavily shortened.

now, if we take a peek (not too long or i’ll curl up in a ball and die), at the loustat reunion scene, yes, as in, those ten minutes of emotional torture, what do we hear? the almost ominous sound of windy weather. yeah, nature was having a breakdown too lmfao.

This Odette, said to be at least a three. Could be a four.

typical new orleans: a hurricane is on its way. and louis du pointe du lac has business to tend to. he's eternal. all is well. he sees the rat killing sketchy gangstpire, follows him, dives into whatever the hell remains of lestat’s lair, they talk, they bawl, they embrace each other like two star-crossed fucking lovers who haven't touched each other in a millenium… and the hurricane outside, odette’s introduction, grows stronger. the windowpanes rattle, clatter, sirens are heard from the streets, the wind only grows stronger, fiercer. and amidst all that chaos, that upcoming destruction, they stand as one, in the middle of it all, holding onto one another.

if loumand were to forever have that fossé, that gap between the two of them, loustat were the opposite. hurricanes bring death and havoc, but those two things were keeping them together. they saw death, gave death, offered death to strangers, to one another at a certain point, and that is what their love is about, in the end. lies and death kept louis and armand seemingly apart, but louis and lestat built their relationships on death, mourning their daughter’s demise and their love’s revival in the middle of a damn hurricane. loumand's relationship was always headed towards its death, its extinction, as if the bricks were meant to crack sooner or later, as if that sun ray would have lured them in and set the whole thing ablaze, then to dust. but loustat were always meant to find each other again, in my most humble opinion, fighting the chaos side by side.

know your soulmates, folks.

𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི

#interview with the vampire #loustat #loumand #louis de pointe du lac #armand #lestat de lioncourt #amc iwtv #iwtv season 2 #iwtv spoilers #iwtv analysis #ahhhhhhhhhhh

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kimberlyannharts · 9 months ago

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So I may have been slightly hyped for this book the past few months

For the three of you who haven't heard about this, MMPR: The Return is a story set in the future of an alternate universe of the MMPRs; one where Jason, Zack, and Trini didn't give up their powers upon the eve of the Peace Conference, and thus the team stayed together even after high school. But fast forward twenty-two years later, and the team has broken up due to some sort of tragedy - we know from the Re-Imagine prologue in the 30 Year Anniversary book, Zordon and Alpha were destroyed by Zedd and Rita. But other stuff seems to have happened too. What is that stuff? I guess we're about to find out!

Oh, and I should mention this was written by the original Pink Ranger herself, Amy Jo Johnson. (and her partner, Matt Hotson.) That might be important to know.

It's Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Return #1!

= Three pages in and Jason's already getting his ass kicked. You're forty-five years old, man, you should be at the club

= I know this was debated a bit when the book was announced - how it would line up with Thuy and JDF's passings, especially after coming off the heels of Once and Always, where the focal point was Trini's daughter taking up her powers after Trini's death. (For what it's worth, this book was first conceived pre-pandemic, long before OaA. Making comics takes a long time.) And while Tommy is still a bit up in the air (despite what we'll see in a few pages) Trini does seem to have definitively passed due to illness.

While I definitely get the frustration of Thuy's passing essentially sealing Trini's fate - especially in a comic book, where you don't have to worry about actor restrictions - I'm a little more generous towards it here because Amy and Thuy were close friends and she actually dealt with her death personally compared to how the OaA writers, well......didn't. And this issue is clearly paralleling Kimberly's motivations and feelings to Amy's real-life ones, so this just feels like another part of that.

(Also to contrast OaA's handling of Trini - a) her passing here isn't caused by a graphic onscreen explosion, proving the whole "well they HAD to show it onscreen for more impact!!!" was bullshit b) her friends AND THE WIDER COMMUNITY are actually grieving and talking about her impact on everyone as well as using the non-actor-restriction to SHOW it and c) The book actually gives her a JOB. TWO jobs!!!!!!! Yeah OaA why the fuck did you send ZACK to Congress WHEN IT CLEARLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRINI

also I like her middle-aged design. prettyyyyyy)

= onto lighter topics HEYYYY IT'S THESE GUYS!! Bulk and Skull are married and you just can't see the ring through Bulk's gloves, it's real and true

= speaking of which this whole flashback is adorable and nostalgic but I want to point out some background details

= Ernie is just trying to run a fucking business here

= go white boy go

= ZACK/KIM HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO ME MY FUCKING BELOVEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, when WAS the last time they actually talked one-on-one in the main series

= FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

= so along with some other stuff I'm definitely taking this as foreshadowing that Trini wasn't cut off from Kim like the boys were. That's the power of WOMEN (and also if we get Aunt Trini flashbacks with Olivia I'll fucking CRYYYYYY)

= Absolutely obsessed with Billy's face here

= D:

= So besides the Trini stuff I want to the keep the Once and Always comparisons to a minimum but it's very funny how both storylines involve Billy using a company as a front for his embezzlement schemes. At least his telecom company PROBABLY isn't war profiteering

= also Alpha's rose <3

= so anyway Jason's gone rogue and was pretending he's the main character until he suddenly went missing, as shown in the first few pages. And Billy and Zack want to become Rangers again to try and find him.

= but the thing is guys, Kim has won the idgaf war. She's depressed, she's traumatized, she spent twenty-two years raising a child with Tommy's genes all by herself, she's tired. She does NOT want to be wrapped up in Jason's midlife crisis drama

= Zack getting so mad and wanting to risk it all for Jason hell yeah those are my Jason/Zack crumbs

= Mysterious shadowy figure watching the old people drama from a distance, you are just like me fr

= OLIVIA THAT'S FUCKING OLIVIAAAAAAAAAAAA and she already sounds so CUTE. If you go back to the diner scene you can see the phone constantly buzzing until Kim finally puts it away. She's like mom. mom. mom. MOM

= also just because the tragic Tomberly family storyline already makes me want to kms do you think that ring is kind of small and plain because Tommy and Kim were so young when they got married and it's all Tommy could afford. And Kim still wears it to this day. I want to die

= It's already been confirmed that Selena is indeed referring to Sylvia here, so I won't talk about that. What I DO want to talk about is Kim's casual momwear. Those sweatpants!!!!!!!!!!

= It would be really funny if Kim just. immediately slammed the door shut

#text #mmpr #mmpr comic #comic recap #TR 01

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princess-of-the-corner · 2 months ago

Note

tbf Death Battle does remove things that prevent a character from Killing but Aang vs Ed is really bad about characterization in general. (Funnily enough I remember the debate for that episode being really big and the Fan Prediction Blog went Ed winning for reasons I don't remember).

In general Older seasons tend to be a lot rockier on characterization (so many examples, just way too many to list). I think Season 8 is where the show started to get a lot better with characterization consistently and season 10 just has some phenomenal characterization. (Chef's kiss at Guts vs Dimitri, Bill vs Discord, Cole vs Alex and Goku vs Superman 2023).

That season also funnily enough had them use a character that is unwilling to kill and they got the characterization down perfectly from what I understand. (haven't watched any Doctor Who so I dunno if it's accurate but from what I've heard they were spot on). So they probably will do a much better job with Aang this time. Also related to Ozai vs Endeavor, they probably wouldn't go full Omniman vs Homelander since Endeavor is a controversial character but something like what Cole vs Alex did with innocents being involved (even if only implied) would work well with what they'd go for.

wild.

Also it's funny you say Endeavor is a controversial character because like. The bnha character poll is going on right now and some people are big mad that he managed to get to the #7 spot and 'how could he possibly be so beloved when he's so awful.

(ofc they say nothing about the fact that Dabi and Shigaraki are /also/ in the top ten)

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neroushalvaus · 2 months ago

Note

Musical asks! 23, 24, 25?

Thank youu 🤗❤

23. What's a song you love from a musical you don't otherwise like?

I do have songs I love from musicals I'm indifferent about or haven't seen, and I do have songs I like well enough despite them being in shows I otherwise hate, but I don't think there is one I really like despite it being in a bad show...

oh wait. Oh wait. There is a movie musical. Maybe I don't love The Other Side from The Greatest Showman (enemy eternal), but it is catchy and the choreo is fine, and it has been an ear worm for me, so. That.

24. Which three cast recordings would you take with you to a deserted island?

Sigh. As you've said, they call Les Mis TAC "The Dream Cast in Concert" for a reason. Second, Operation Mincemeat (let's call it Original London Cast for manifesting reasons), since I can apparently shout along with it in a car for two years and it's still not dead to me despite it being rather short. Third, Hadestown: The Myth. The Musical. This is partly assuming I have no other music at all and I have to satisfy my folk needs. But also because a girl needs to cry.

25. What catches your attention in a musical and makes it interesting to you? Is there a subgenre of musicals you especially like?

Me looking at this question, then looking at my favourite musicals, and trying to find something they have in common... Well, musical as a genre is a good medium for tragedies, I think. I'm talking about hopeful songs getting tragic reprises, I'm talking about having the death song of a character as an ear worm as you watch them sing to their beloved, I'm talking about a powerful sense of catharsis at the end, I'm talking about that scene in Titanic the musical where Mr Andrews experiences a feeling too powerful for mere words, and then he drowns. You know. So maybe that answers the question of the kind of musical I usually like.

Things that catch my attention are characters, mostly, and to be honest I'm also a sucker for clever wordplay in lyrics. If you've ever heard a lyric and thought "they put that in just to sound quirky and clever", wrong, they put it there for me, and only me.

I also like it if there is a big song where a character talks to God and is like "what the fuck, man (gender neutral)".

Send me number and I'll explain my passions

#❤#ask games

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cadhla182 · 2 years ago

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Rwby is such a gulity pleasure show for me because I know the show has a lot of problematic elements from the drama behind the scenes, some questionable writing and the fandom having the craziest and insane fans ever, that they put Voltron fans and maybe Miraculous Ladybug fans to shame. However, when the show does something good it's really good and it has the potential to be something great. You can't really stop watching Rwby completely because there are some aspects to the show that are genuinely good. Volume 9 is possibly my favortive volume because it actually gave Ruby character development and finally made bumblebee canon , it's not great but not awful either. It's still has issues but I still enjoy it regardless. Honestly the only reason I almost stop watching the show is because of the toxic fans constantly fighting back and forth if Rwby is a great show or sending death threats to anyone who dare talk shit about their beloved show. But the "youtubers critics" are possibly the worst because everytime I heard them trying to critique RWBY they're always mean spirited and only watch the show just to shit on it.

I can't really speak to the fandom, I miss out on most of that drama crap with RWBY, but there's like a weirdly dedicated anti-fandom. Like I'm not sure why a popular nice guy youtuber turns on a current episode and openly says "I haven't watched in seven years but oh my god what is even happening this doesn't make sense I wonder why that is" instead of just not having his head up his ass, but here we are.

The behind the scenes stuff... That hurts because I bought into the whole cult of RT thing but if I take a step back I can't feel guilty about this and watch any MCU movie, or play any Blizzard game, or read any comic ever made. I loved Arcane despite Riot's whole nightmare situation and bigger company means more people were hurt.

The truth of the matter is that all of the media we consume is made from the abuse of the people doing the work in order to benefit the rich guys up top. Some places are worse than others, RT was real bad and other than RWBY I've cut myself off from them, but they're all bad. The whole system is fucked. We're in a perpetual loop of rich people controlling everything and abusing everyone to become more rich. The only answer is revolution.

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applepiesandalibis · 1 year ago

Text

My God Bless Your Black Heart (by The pAper chAse) analysis/interpretation/I'm not very sure how to call it

General content warning: lots of dark stuff like murder, suicide, death in general, abuse, sexual and religious themes. Pretty sure this will be a loooong post

Please keep in mind that it's mostly just *my* personal thoughts and views on this record and the story it tells. I will go into some details about other possible interpretations though, but it's not something I will be mainly focusing on, as I'm writing this to connect it with my original characters based on this album. I got a lot of things I'll mention here are from genius.com (my beloved) annotations, so keep that in mind too, not all of these are my original thoughts, but of course I will mostly focus on them.

OH AND ALSO, English is not my native language, so excuse any dumb mistakes of mine if I didn't notice them...

Alright, let's start :)

1. Said the Spider to the Fly

The first thing we see before the actual lyrics start is "Entry number one, I still hear the boots in the hallway". GBYBH is divided by five of these "entries", we'll get back to them soon. The line itself is a reference to I Did a Terrible Thing from the band's previous album, Hide the Kitchen Knives, where an almost identical line can be heard ("I hear the boots in the hallway again"), so we can assume, that this album is a direct continuation of HTKK.

Also, in the official lyrics the song seems to have two separate parts: words that are being said by the "Spider" (from the first line) and the ones that belong to the "Fly" (from "So if I fight a good fight" until the end). I don't have anything to say about this and the exact thought behind this, but I guess it's pretty obvious that this is our first introduction to our main characters (who appear to be a straight couple with very complicated relationships). I'm also pretty sure that the chorus is sang by neither of them, but by some third person.

Alright, let's talk about the song itself. It has a looot of references to Jeffrey Dahmer and even uses a sample from his trial, though it was proven by John Congleton himself that it's not directly about this individual. He's being used as a metaphor for someone/something else. It's not uncommon for TPC to reference serial killers and other criminals in their stuff. It was done on their previous records and will also be done on the later ones.

In this song we hear the phrase "God bless your heart" for the first time. It will appear again several times throughout the album. The interesting thing is: this phrase could be used both as an insult and as a genuine expression of sympathy. Again, I'll go into some deeper detail about this later.

In general, I think this track works as some kind of foreshadowing to the next ones, especially the chorus. One of the main ideas this album explores is people not sinning just because they want to go to heaven or deserve some "prize".

Okay, it's not a very interesting song to analyze (I still absolutely love it, though, don't get me wrong!), so let's move on.

2. One Day He Went Out for Milk and Never Came Home

In the lyrics before this track we see "Entry number two, at one point I had the time... now time has me". I don't think this worth commenting?

This song gives us a more clear view on what the characters' relationships are like. The main character seems to be abusive towards his partner, judging by the next lyrics. "Your smoke alarms and barred windows / Can't save your house, God burn your soul" could mean that the victim (A.K.A. his partner) cannot escape from him, he also promises to "never let [her] die", which could, again, mean the unwillingness to let her go. "Is my dinner in the oven? / Lovebird, you haven't touched your bread" may be about the protagonist only caring about her serving him (cooking for him, etc.) even if she will literally starve because of it or lose interest in her own life to the point that she refuses to eat.

Then, we are exposed to the way our protagonist manipulates his victim and calls her various cute nicknames, to make her believe he loves her:

My tender jewel, my precious pearl / My ruby red, my diamond girl

"I'll never touch a hair on your pretty head" may be about the same thing — him denying that he is abusive towards his girlfriend/wife.

This song contains some references to the previous one ("I want your heart, I want your head") and one of the next ones ("The sinking ship, the grand applause", which is the name of another song).

There's also some religious things: for example, "Do you want to go to heaven?" being repeated several times. And the song ends with a bunch of lines from The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying.

3. What I'd Be Without Me

We are witnessing the protagonist writing something in his diary — it can be taken both as a metaphor and/or literally. It also explains the "entries" we see throughout the album.

There's a line that says "My sweet body will turn on me", which could be one of many lyrics about a body (or, more specifically, hands) not being fully controlled with one's mind in The Paper Chase's discography. That was a common theme in Congleton's songs, I'll link the genius annotation here if you want to read more about it, I'm not really good at explanations. This could mean that our protagonist can't control himself, he makes big mistakes because of this and they look like awful ink spots on a white paper in his "diary". Maybe I'm going too deep into this, I don't know, that's just an assumption.

The main character starts to think about "what girls and boys want/need", and basically about the relationships between a man and a woman.

Then, the first name on this album is mentioned — Abeline, or Abby (it would make sense if you assume both names belong to her. I'm sure you can make a different interpretation as well, where they are two separate people, but let's just go with it). The protagonist tells her to "not forget what she'll be without him", so yeah, he's being a manipulative asshole again, I guess.

Let's move to the next song on this note.

4. The Sinking Ship, The Grand Applause

One of my favorite songs on this album. And it's very interesting to analyze!

Let's start with a little fact I found out about recently while googling this song: there's a Gotham episode that was possibly named after it! I'm not familiar with this series, but from what I've heard, it's not uncommon for its episodes to be named after songs, so yeah, I just think it's really nice. :)

Now, about the track itself.

The lyrics start with "Entry number three, I've come to the conclusion that I am not in fact a messiah after all". Pretty self-explanatory, I guess, especially after you listen to the song. John has also said that it's kinda autobiographical. In general, it's just about realizing that the world doesn't revolve around you.

Grandfather burned up to ash and returned to the earth it spawned / This nefarious prank that's controlled by the lengths of his arms / And the kindred is gathering by coffin and chaplain on his behalf / And [a] discreet tender man clears his throat, waves his hand following a laugh

This appears to be about a funeral of some old man ("grandfather"). We'll talk about him later.

The next verse goes like this:

Like a fat baby's birth, like a cry and a curse at the breathing space / While the mother rejoices, ten fingers, ten toes, and a handsome face / And the family is gasping, each one can't help asking «How was it, my dear?» / Like a scorn for the one that was torn and deformed for the next cruel years, next cruel years

Obviously, some woman has just given birth to a child. Her and her family are celebrating and all of them are glad that the child is "normal". Meanwhile, somewhere else there is also the one who isn't — the one who will remain "torn and deformed for the next cruel years", which can refer to either physical or mental condition of this person. And I'm pretty sure it's about our main character again: he is that one child who was born "wrong" and can't do anything about it. He couldn't live normally because of something that wasn't accepted by society and that probably traumatised him and not getting help resulted in him becoming a terrible person he is. The first child could be literally anyone, probably even Abby herself, which could also explain why is he so abusive towards her — he simply envies her.

So I'll cut you all open, I'll see what's inside you or what's missing / While this virgin, your daughter, skirt down in the altar - she don't owe you a God damn thing / 'Cause she's gorgeous, I'll take her to the house by the lake where I'll write her a song / While you fat pigs with call-girls, they dance in the ballrooms shaking their wallets at God / And the notes fill the pages, I scramble to paste up my bleeding heart / And this sick song moves on, if you're lucky lifelong you can sing a part as it falls apart

Okay. I have a lot to say about this one.

These lyrics can be interpreted in many ways, depending on who you consider the "daughter" to be — Abby or someone else. In the first case the line is about the past, when her and protagonist just met and were genuinely in love with each other. However, if you see this as some other character — it's most likely about the protagonist cheating on Abby with someone who he will be truly happy with.

Anyway, in both of these cases it's clear that the "daughter" is not like her father, who seems to be hated by the main character for being one of the wealthy greedy people who, again, believe in god just so they can get something from him, all they do is "shake their wallets" at him. The protagonist has already expessed his hatred towards this type of people, but here we can see it perfectly. Actually, this phrase can also be referring to the "call-girls", so they're the ones shaking wallets at god. Anyway, you get what it's criticizing. Also, the theme of some guy saving a girl he loves from the hands of her awful abusive father can be seen in some other TPC songs: for example, At The Other End of The Leash is most likely about it, and there are some other songs where it's mentioned as well.

So, in both of those scenarios it starts as pure and innocent love, but soon we'll see that everything is ruined.

The last two lines, as well as the "And the band plays on" that we can hear several times throughout the song tell us that life is... kinda cruel. When someone's suffering or dying it's a tragedy just for this person and, maybe, for the ones who know them — everyone else on this planet doesn't care. Because they simply don't know about it. And the one who's suffering don't care about the people they don't know. The band will keep playing, some people will keep celebrating their happiness while someone else is experiencing horrible things. That's just how life is. You don't really matter. No one does. But maybe it's for the best.

And, well, our protagonist is the one who is not the part of this "orchestra", so he has to listen to their awfully festive melodies that feel absolutely wrong for him.

Okay, feels like I got too serious... Next one!

5. Piggy's Had Too Much Wine

One of the sample/"divider" tracks on the album. Don't have that much to say about it, honestly.

We can hear someone talking about loneliness and there's also a line that says "you're 60 years old" — in this context can be easily seen as "you're running out of time", "you're going to die soon", etc.

Well, I'm pretty sure the main character is somewhere in his 20s, but it can still be about him being scared of getting older and dying alone.

I couldn't find any information on where this sample comes from, though.

The song ends with "Get rid of 'em"...

6. Ready, Willing, Cain and Able

...and in the next one we hear the following:

See, but once you bury somebody, it was already gone. Once they were in the ground, they weren't my problem.

Something I really like in TPC songs is the way they're connected between each other: a sample starting in one song and continuing in the other, like here, is a good example of this. That's why I always recommend listening to their albums in the correct order.

This sample itself comes from an interview with John Wayne Gacy, an infamous serial killer. As I've said before, it's not an uncommon thing for the band to use samples of criminals, especially serial killers. That can also be seen comparing one or some of the characters to such people.

This song has an interesting name: it's a word play that combines a story about Cain and Abel (a religious reference once again) and most likely the name of a 1937 movie "Ready, Willing and Able". I've never watched that movie, so I really can't say anything about it and if there are any references to it in the song.

A line I'd like to mention is "I'm 26 and running out of time". According to John Congleton, it is, again, pretty much autobiographical and he really was 26 at the time when he wrote it, but it can also be about the main character. The fear of getting older and dying before you make something meaningful has been already expressed a bunch of times in previous tracks (and will also be expressed on the band's next record, Now You Are One Of Us, just in a bit different way. I'll probably write about that album too someday!)

The rest of the lyrics contains the narrator being critical of religion (once again) and a lot of what can be easily seen as threats. "They're coming for you" can be read in different ways:

1) It's something the main character says to his victim (whoever that victim is. Could be Abby's abusive father who is being killed by the protagonist, or someone she cheated on him with, or someone completely different, you can imagine basically anything here), meaning that he and "his guys", or something like that, are coming to kill that person;

2) It's the protagonist thinking about how someone is coming for him after what he did.

But yeah, in these two interpretations it's clear that he murdered someone he really hated and now is suffering because of guilt/paranoia/whatever.

3) The protagonist never killed anyone, but still did something that led him to being threatened by some evil guys. So, in this case the song is not from his perspective, it's some other person or group of people.

Anyway, the song ends with "Yes, a war is coming", which is a sample from a 1988 movie called Talk Radio. And also... Bingo! The name of a track that will appear on this album soon. It possibly means that some kind of "war" between our main character and whoever the second side is has started.

7. Now, We Just Slowly Circle the Draining Fish Bowl

This one starts with "I'll come back from the war", which could means that it has already ended or it's just the main character imagining what will happen after. The whole verse goes like this:

I'll come back from the war / But everything I'll touch seems to break / And I won't be the same man / I won't be the same man you knew / And I was somewhat tickled by your gauge / Of your ticker tape parade / Now you know and you know that I know / We could dance all night here on their graves / God bless our black souls

Let's keep assuming that "war" means whatever happened in the previous song, with the MC finally escaping/getting rid of whoever threatened him. The protagonist is being compared to a soldier, who comes back from the war, but can't live the same anymore and can't bring himself to care about all the parades thrown to honor him. This metaphor can seem kinda weird, especially considering that the MC is not a "hero" and he shouldn't be compared to people who risk their lives at war, but still, for him it was a war, his own battle that he won.

Also, regarding the last lines: it's clear that he's saying them to someone he loves, but it's most likely that this time his feelings are genuine, so he either has changed his mind about Abby (and it wouldn't be the last time he does so), or he's simply refering to the second woman, who he truly loves.

Later, the protagonist starts to wish himself all kinds of bad things ("Hope I choke, hope I stroke, catch the flu"), probably regretting what he did and hating himself.

Wife resents kids that fuck in your room / When we laugh, we’ll be laughing at you / When you circle your draining fish bowl / Sell your house, sell your car, sell your soul / Spend your whole life just praying to spend your life

Finally, those lines imply that he keeps wasting his life by spending it with a family he hates and thinking he'll never feel happy again. That's why he seeks love somewhere else, escaping his tragic reality and building a new relationship without his wife and kid(s) knowing about it, or simply spending time with women he barely knows. Maybe, family life wasn't made for him at all, but it was way too late when he realized it. That's pretty sad.

8. A War Is Coming

Entry number four, welcome home Henry. So table for one, is it?

Wow! A name! Who is Henry, you may ask? Pretty sure that's the name of our protagonist (and now I can finally stop referring to him that way). You'll get why I think so later, this isn't the last mention of this name on the album.

So, Henry is being welcomed by someone in a restaurant or some place like that. He probably visits it very often, so it starts to feel like home. Maybe even like his real home.

The track itself is simply just a repeating of various common sayings with the word "heart" — including "God bless your black heart", which is the name of the album (in case you forgot).

What does a heart usually symbolize? That's right — love and feelings. So, for me this track is a representation of Henry's feelings. It sounds extremely chaotic, and so are they. We can imagine that emotions have always been a hard thing for him to deal with and it seems like it simply drives him insane when there's too many of them.

Now, another question: why is it called A War Is Coming if we decided that the last track was about the main character already coming back from his "war"? I don't really know. But probably it's about how he still has to go through the hardest battle — the inner one. He has to deal with his feelings and maybe... forgive himself... Um, I'll get back to this later.

Well, at least that's how I see it, but maybe I'm thinking too much yet again.

9. Your Ankles to Your Earlobes

This song is basically about Henry running away after all of the shit he had done.

So Abby, it's far too late for me / I left a notebook on the shelf / Just take the keys, just save yourself / My little Abby, and soon they'll come for me / Just tell my son that I'm sorry / I'll disappear, you now are free

He leaves Abeline alone and asks her to give his apologies to their son. It feels like in this song his words actually mean something. Like, he seems more genuine, probably he's truly sorry about the terrible thing(s) he have commited and that is the reason he's leaving now. It is possible that he will be murdered by someone as a "punishment" for whatever he did — or just simply will end up in prison — so, obviously, he doesn't want his family to know about it and everything he can do is just leave them. You start appreciating something more after losing it, so that's probably the case here too and that's why he finally starts to care about those people.

And Abby, it's far too late for me / I left a checkbook on the shelf / Just take the keys, just save yourself / My little Abby, I hope you die laughing / All fat and cheeky in your warm bed / The raven, the vulture won't circle your head / My sweet queen bee, I hope it comes quickly / I hope your thoughts don't drift to me / I'll die in here, you now are free

Why is she dying? Of course these words could have a literal meaning, but very unlikely, so let's not focus on that. Remember the songs we discussed earlier — I think it's because she simply can't live without him. If Henry will leave or (god forbid!) die, her life would be absolutely ruined. So, even when he seems more "kind" in this song, he's still himself and still can't bring himself to care about Abby more than about his own life. He still has chances to get away and live happily with a new family (if we look at some of the next songs, seems like it's actually what happened then), but Abby will suffer. And Henry knows that. What a bastard, am I right?

This verse also really contrasts with the second song, where the protagonist promised he would never let her die.

10. Let's Be Bad, Henry, Let's Be Really Bad

(As if he wasn't bad enough already, huh)

Oh, what a song. Okay, so it starts with:

Henry, tell your wife everything / Henry, put your bible under your hand/head / Henry, bite your lip if she says / "Do you love me? Do you love me?"

Someone (or something) is convincing him to come back to his wife until it's too late and, considering the bible being mentioned, even confess all his sins and pray to be forgiven. Sounds interesting, if you remember his disgust towards religion that has been expressed many times before.

The "voice" that tells it is most likely his own inner voice. Deep down he knows that what he did was incredibly wrong and he should at least try to accept it and ask for forgiveness (even if he doesn't deserve it).

Wife bedside, she's in heaven right now / A voice from the ground / Come to me, come to me, come to me, come to me / Wife bedside, the good son says his goodbye / A voice from pine box / Come to me, come to me, come to me, come to me

Feels like he's also very much paranoid about this whole thing. He can "hear" the voices of his, probably now deceased, wife and child. And they're inviting him to come with them. Obviously, the "pine box" here is a coffin, so they want him to be dead, just like them. It doesn't matter if it's about literal death or it's a simple metaphor to "feeling" dead, it's clear that they want him to suffer like they did. Or at least that's what he thinks.

The girls you got inside? Tell me every time you tried / Tell me everything / Come to me, come to me, come to me

Also pretty obvious, but this is about him cheating/having one-night relationships with sex workers. Henry probably thinks Abeline will also find out about that soon and the shame he feels makes him want to "come to her" even more.

I think it's *also* worth mentioning that there's a little instrumental sample that repeats a melody from Your Ankles to Your Earlobes, one of the next songs. Love how literally everything on this album is so beautifully connected.

There's really not much to say about this track as it's pretty self-explanatory, but I adore the atmosphere it creates. It's so heartbreakingly sad and you can really feel every emotion that the narrator goes through, so even if you think he's a terrible being (which is a very valid point) you can still kinda symphatize with him here. One of my favorites, not only on this record, but in the whole TPC discography!

11. Now You're Gonna Get It

That's funny how in this song it seems like Henry lost all of his good feelings to Abby again. He probably have changed his mind about her a hundred times by now. My guy has some terrible mood swings, or whatever even is that... Seriously, this could be a result of untreated mental ilness(es), because it's pretty clear that he's not mentally stable (and I really doubt Abby is).

Well, the song starts with:

Are you planning your escape? / Are you crumbling for the evening when I'm asleep and you're awake? / I swear to God, I'll take it to the grave / Are you planning your escape?

This could be Henry saying this to Abby, or vice versa, or it's from someone else's perspective, I don't know. This verse can have a lot of different interpretations, so it's up to you to decide which one you like.

The phrase "She's a wonderful actress" can be heard a bunch of times in this song. Of course it's our poor little angel Henry once again saying that Abeline just manipulates him by playing a victim! But wait, when did we decide that she was absolutely innocent?

Okay, I'm not gonna do any kind of victimblaiming here, but I'm trying to say that we never got to hear the full story. Maybe both of them are abusive and these relationships are harmful for both sides? That could be the case, considering human sins being the main theme of this album. None of the characters mentioned here are "good".

Honestly, no idea what to say about the rest of the lyrics. Again, this song doesn't have only one "correct" interpretation, so I'd like to stop here. Though it's clear that the song is about hatred and abuse, once again. Just listen to this song and imagine your own story based on it, I think that would be even more interesting than just reading me reciting every single variation that can be seen here.

One more thing: there is a sample that says:

Tired of your suffering, tired of your having pain, tired of your being misunderstood".

This comes from Funeral Eulogy For Elder Marguerite McClain (Excerpt), which is the first track from Dancing With The Dead: The Music Of Global Death Rites. The sample is probably completely out of context, so here it can easily be read in the same hateful nature, and that's why it suits the rest of the song very well.

12. Abby, Your Going to Burn for What You've Done to Me

As we can see from the name, Henry just keeps blaming his beloved wife in everything for reasons that will not be revealed to us for the rest of the album.

The track itself also contains a sample from that exact source I mentioned just a minute ago. This time it says the following:

Better off as a result of having died, glory to God, and we all too must die one day. But the thing about it is, will you be ready?

Then it's just some slightly changed lyrics from One Day He Went Out for Milk...

Alright, so Nobody_of_any_importance on Genius made this annotation that I'd really like to share because it's so well written:

The album enters its final stages, beginning with this reprise of “One Day He Went Out For Milk And Never Came Home.” However, whereas before there was fire and brimstone, now there is quiet resignation in its place.

I really can't think of anything that could describe this track and this album better, so credits to this person! By the way, they have done a lot for the TPC fandom in general which I think is very cool.

Although the exact details of what occurred across the prior tracks of this album are open to interpretation, there were certainly a lot of bad people who did a lot bad things. From this point on, the album’s tone shifts radically from vengeance and rage towards themes of guilt, remorse, and fear of God’s judgement as they relate to the terrible things that the narrator has done over the course of the album.

13. Your Pretty Little Head

We're being meet with a melody from The Sinking Ship, The Grand Applause, and a sample from The Green Mile (1999), which simply says "I hope it hurts like hell" and which was also used in The Sinking Ship... (but I did not mention that before for some reason).

Then there's yet another sample from Funeral Eulogy For Elder Marguerite McClain. This one says:

If there's any out there today that have not made preparation for this final day, now is the acceptable time. You don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring. Will you be ready? Will you be ready? Will you be ready? Will you be ready? I'm like you, I hate to give her up, we just hate to give her up, but we've got to give her up. Will you be ready? Will you be ready?

Okay. Don't you dare thinking I'm just being lazy to write my own thoughts, I still have a lot to say, but let me just paste one more annotation by the same user:

Following an album full of madness, vengeance, and murder, the narrator is seemingly overcome with guilt and regret. There is nothing left for him now, except to contend with the idea that there may be an afterlife and a god to whom he will ultimately have to answer (hence the sampled pastor talking about making preparations for “this final day”).

Also, I think that the name of this song could be, once again, a reference to the second track. Don't you think it's being referenced too many times? Hm? But that might be just a stretch.

Now, we're heading to our most important part...

14. Dying With Decent Music

We're being met with "Entry number five, you now are free" (which was also a line used in Your Ankles to Your Earlobes btw).

And the final song begins.

Well, maybe better you than me / You're much weaker, you're more clumsy / When I forfeit my patience to you / So maybe you've had too much wine

For me this sounds like Henry trying to accept that he is the bad one here. Again.

"Maybe you've had too much wine" is possibly him trying to find an excuse for Abby's behavior that he (for whatever reason) hated so much while they were living together. It also references track 5 which is called Piggy's Had Too Much Wine. Or vice versa, it was named after this line.

We can see him once again confirming that he spent a lot of his time with prostitutes: the song contains lyrics like "...ankles swell up as my lady works the room" and "Oh my hostess, oh my pick up, oh my dreadful… my white slave" (all of these words can be used for sex workers).

"Let them die while some decent music plays" probably refers to... Well, everyone Henry knew in his life. While having sex with some lady and really enjoying it, he's thinking about wanting to let all of them go ("die"), stay with this woman forever, keep pleasing himself and finally become free.

When the shit shoe stumble, that's me, dirty nails and awful thoughts / I'll use the words used up on commercials / Like such sharp boys like to write songs, music, and quick lines / This feeling, I can't confine that to a rhyme / But maybe I can, if I see you on the other side

The "shit shoe" can be a different way to say "shit heel", which is simply used to describe "a contemptible person". The alternate version of this line, heard in one of the band's live perfomances is "When the shit shoe stumble, that's me, scratching nails outside your box". Again, the "box" here means coffin and probably implies him trying to reach out to Abby, even if she's already "dead" (at least to him).

Henry tries to use pretty words to describe his feelings, but fails: he wasn't made for it, he's not one of those poets/songwriters and everything he's going to say will sound awful. Just like him.

I really like how this verse uses an unidentified (as far as I know) sample of a woman screaming and it's being used as a part of the instrumental. It fits in this part so well you barely pay attention to it, but then it ends right when John says the word "rhyme" and it creates such a great feeling. I can't even explain it, but I think you'll get it if you listen. They also did almost the same thing in the chorus of Said the Spider to the Fly.

And that's not the only thing that connects these two tracks. Once again, probably a big big stretch, but it came to my head that this can be linked to "You'll never have to find the words, they come spilling unrehearsed / But you and I will never find that peace" — a line from the first song.

Also think it worth mentioning that "lines", "rhyme" and "side" do rhyme pretty well. And that's probably intentional.

So, our narrator is dying, or probably even killing himself — this theory is supported by the fact that John Congleton used to mime a rope around his neck in several live performances of this song. This also looks like a little foreshadowing to their next album, Now You Are One Of Us, which has a hanged man on its cover, but I'm 99% sure that's not the case. Just a silly thing I thought about.

Henry wants to reconnect with one of the women mentioned on the album after his death, so they can finally be together, in peace. Though it's not entirely clear if he believes in afterlife (that's why it's "if I see you on the other side"). I think it's about his wife, because she's the one who "died" and earlier on this track he finally forgave her.

The track is coming to its end with Mr. Congleton tragically screaming "I will be free" for a couple of times while the most amazing instrumental you will ever hear in your entire life is playing. If this part doesn't make you incredibly emotional and you don't think it's absolutely beautiful, then... Well, I strongly disagree with you.

We can hear one last sample from The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying :

What is born will die / What has been gathered will be dispersed /What has been accumulated will be exhausted / What has been built up will collapse / And what has been high will be brought low

And then... footsteps. You may remember the first entry which also mentioned them ("the boots in the hallway"). My favorite part about this is actually the fact that in Said the Spider... there's the sound of footsteps at the very beggining and in this track it's at the end, so the album can loop perfectly.

Now, what does all of this mean?

Hm. Maybe, the main character is in his own personal hell now, and the loop is the way to tell us that he will suffer forever, even after his death, so he can finally pay for his sins. Or maybe he didn't die at all — it was just a metaphor, the way to show us the chaos going on in his sick head. Maybe nothing was real? Maybe some of these things never happened? I don't think this "Henry" guy is a very reliable narrator, so who knows.

We're not supposed to know. We can only guess.

And that's what I find so amazing about this album: it can have a million different interpretations. You can see it as a totally different story rather than what I wrote here. Or maybe you don't see a story with some plot and characters here at all, and for you it's just the artist's thoughts and feelings being presented this way. It's up to you to decide.

For me, God Bless Your Black Heart is one of the greatest albums ever made (sorry for sounding dramatic, but really). There's just SO many little details and references you can think about, it almost makes my little brain explode. It hurts to see it being so underrated. If you never listened to The pAper chAse before but somehow got to this point of my hilariously long essay and you're interested — please do. You won't regret it.

And, well, reblogs are incredibly appreciated. I spent A LOT of time on this (for a bunch of different reasons), so of course I want this post to reach... at least someone, lol. Also, if you have anything to add — it's always welcomed. I'd really love to hear your thoughts! :)

Thank you for reading!!!

UPD 9/12/2024: I came back to this post after a year because I am writing the same thing for Now You Are One Of Us right now and noticed a couple of mistakes/little things that I now think were unnecessary, so I got rid of them. Didn't make any big changes (even though I have some things to add — my interpretation has changed a bit after writing this — they are just less important than what I've already written here), but I still think it's worth mentioning. Just in case someone reads this.

#my posts #the paper chase #john congleton #god bless your black heart #album analysis

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