#Dear God why is this 7000 words

[irithnova]

Consolidating my thoughts on the Golden Horde

Warning: This is an extremely long post (7000 words)

I've been wanting to tackle this part of the Golden Horde for a while now but the definitions of certain things bogged me down and I just didn't have the time until now (Christmas break yay) to really delve into it.

Words that are referring to the same wing of the Horde:

Right Wing/Western Wing/Golden Horde/Batuid wing/Batuids/White Horde (born to Mongolia in 1220. The OG)

Left Wing/Eastern Wing/Ordaid Wing/Ordaids/Blue Horde (born in the 1280's. A "branch" off of the OG Golden Horde)

I refer to the fusion between them later on as only "Golden Horde"

In this post I am going to be talking about the two wings of the Golden Horde. The Golden Horde was never originally called the Golden Horde, it was rather referred to as the "Ulus of Jochi" meaning Kingdom/domain of Jochi. This was because Jochi was Genghis Khan's eldest son, and before Genghis Khan died, he split his empire between his sons, electing Ogedei, the 3rd oldest, to rule as the great Khan over all of them. It is claimed that Genghis was pressured to organise his empire between his sons before the invasion of Khwarezmian empire in 1219 by Empress Yisui. The Secret History of the Mongols state that he elected Ogedei to be his heir and historians such as Christopher P Attwood agree that Ogedei was chosen as the heir in 1219, "According to the Secret History of the Mongols, Chinggis Khan passed over both Jochi and Cha'adai (Chagatai) and chose Ogedei as his successor in 1219" (Encyclopedia of the Mongol Empire, Christopher P Attwood). This is probably due to the fact that Genghis knew his time on earth was limited now that he was older, and this is around the time the whole "Genghis Khan trying to find the elixir of life" spiel took place. This is why I made Golden Horde/Chagatai Khanate and even Ilkhanate be born around this time. I have more detail here in my previous post about them.

Note: I'll also be referring to OG Golden Horde as "Ulus of Jochi" throughout this post, just so there's no confusion as to who I am talking about.

For a lot of my posts I've referred to the Golden Horde as the Golden Horde for simplicity's sake (also because it's the most well known name for him) however as stated previously, it was not originally called the Golden Horde by the rulers of the Horde. It was a later name given to the Horde. There were two wings of the overall (Golden) Horde. The Western wing (right wing) and Eastern Wing (left wing). These wings were also given colours, the White Horde and Blue Horde. However what Horde was what colour is widely debated amongst historians because historical records on which was which often contradict each other. Some historians like Marie Favereau and Christopher Attwood have argued for the idea that the Western Wing was the White Horde and the Eastern Wing was the Blue Horde. However, for my post, I really would like to emphasise not emphasising the "Blue/White" delineations as the be all end all of what Horde was which as we pretty much know that there was an Eastern and Western Wing, who ruled these wings, and how things played out. 

I know on popular sites like Wikipedia, it's shown in the reverse order, and the blue horde is the West wing instead of the East wing, and the white horde is the East wing instead of the West Wing. I'm just going to go with what Marie Favereau and Christopher Attwood are saying as they've been two of my main sources for this post.

So back to the purpose of the post which is explaining how the two wings of the Horde played out with the character of the Golden Horde. As I said before, I made Ulus of Jochi be born in 1220, one year after Genghis made a decision on how his empire would be divided between his sons. Ulus of Jochi was the representation of future Jochid lands. However, Jochi died unexpectedly around 6 months before Genghis Khan did, which meant that he never had the chance to rule these lands himself. This opportunity was given to his sons, Batu and Orda. Batu initially administered the Western Wing (or White Horde or Right Wing) of the Horde and Orda administered the Eastern Wing (or Blue Horde or Left Wing).

Golden Horde as we know him was initially supposed to be the representative of the future Jochid lands (hence why he is also called Ulus of Jochi). In fact, as Christopher Attwood states "The Golden Horde, originally the Ulus... of Jochi, emerged as a separate entity earlier than any other of the successor states of the Mongol Empire."  However these lands were split between Batu and Orda as Jochi died before Genghis Khan did. There was also the more obscure Shaybanid/Grey Horde, ruled by the descendants of Shiban, who was Jochi's fifth son. The Grey Horde acknowledged the superiority of Batu and Orda's hordes until the mid 14th century. 

Between the two superior hordes - Batu and Orda's, Batu of the Western Wing was considered the overall leader of the whole Horde, and even after Batu's death, the Ordaid lineage continued to recognise the supremacy of the Batuid lineage. This is despite the fact that Batu was younger than Orda. Mongol succession culture was ultimogeniture, meaning that the youngest sons were the ones who had succession privilege rather than the oldest sons. This was not an unusual choice. 

Orda was selected to administer the Eastern part of the Ulus of Jochi which would then become the "Blue Horde", however despite this he acknowledged that his younger brother, Batu, was the ruler of the whole of the Ulus of Jochi. Both hordes were harmonious with one another (as in,  the Eastern Wing was subordinate to the Western Wing and they did not step on each other's toes), with the Eastern Ordaid Wing acknowledging the supremacy of the Western Batuid Wing. Some may try to argue that both Wings had completely different interests almost from the get go, and imply that they pursued their own interests at the cost of the other. This is not the case. As Mary F. says in her book "The Horde", "For many years, these primary hordes were at peace with each other and ran the Ulus of Jochi in concert". 

There is one instance however where it seemed like both Hordes had differing interests, and this was with the ascension of Guyuk Khan as the Great Khan. Batu, leader of the Western Wing, wanted nothing to do with it, and did not show up to the coronation, instead choosing to continue to focus on expanding the Ulus of Jochi. Orda on the other hand, not only attended it, but actively helped in making sure it ran smoothly by aiding Guyuk in tracking down and executing his attempted usurpers. Keep this event in mind as I'll talk about this further down and how it relates to Ulus of Jochi balancing himself between the Hordes of Batu and Orda.

Because I see "Golden Horde" as embodying/being the Ulus of Jochi (as the reason of his existence was that he was the personification of future Jochid lands), I don't make a distinction between Orda and Batu's hordes by creating two separate Horde personifications until the the years after the 1260's with the death of Berke Khan and the breaking away from the greater Mongol Empire. Why I chose this date will be explained thoroughly throughout this post.

So how do I think Ulus of Jochi/Golden horde coped with initially being administered between Orda and Batu? I don't think it was a difficult feat, however I think for the most part, Ulus of Jochi was more involved in Batuid Western Wing/Right Wing affairs due to the foreign policy being expansionist, and relied on the Ordaid Eastern Wing/Left Wing for diplomacy (normalfacing) and trade. This is because, where the Eastern Wing was situated, if it adopted an expansionist foreign policy like the Western Wing, the only neighbours it would be able to expand into would be other Mongol Khanates (this is unlike the Chagatai Khanate who never really cared about that) and that would cause unnecessary trouble (the Eastern Wing was mostly peaceful, in comparison to the Western Wing). 

In addition, as talked about previously, it was Batu who was considered the overall leader of the Ulus of Jochi, and the Ordaid lineage acknowledged the supremacy of the Batuid lineage for many years (due to the fact that Batu was 1) Considered the overall leader 2) It was the Batuids who focussed mainly on expanding the Horde). Once it was revealed to Genghis that Jochi died, "Chinggis designated a new heir to the Ulus of his eldest; Jochi's son Batu would take over" (Marie F. The Horde), it was Genghis himself who gave his blessing for Batu to take over, and Orda had no problem with this. 

I headcanon that until the death of Berke Khan (of the Golden Horde) and the breaking away from the greater Mongol Empire in the latter half of the 13th century, who we know as Golden Horde (original son born to Mongolia) was the personification of the overall Ulus of Jochi. Once Berke died, the Ulus of Jochi gave rise to 3 main hordes and this was the beginning of the Hordes having more independence from one another, hence why I chose the date of Berke Khan's death as one of the foundations that gave rise to the Ulus of Jochi dividing into separate personifications. "After Berke's death, three hordes rose to dominate the Ulus of Jochi" (Marie F. The Horde).  Who we know as Golden Horde was aligned with the Western lands of the Horde alongside the Batuids who were considered the supreme rulers of the horde. 

The new personification for the Eastern Horde/Left wing materialised itself in the years after Berke Khan died and during the period in which the Horde became more independent from the greater empire. The personification of this Horde respected the supremacy of the Batuid Horde/Left Wing (Golden Horde) and all the hordes worked together and "were at peace with each other and ran the ulus of Jochi in concert" (Marie F. The Horde).

Until then however, I see who we know as the Golden Horde as the personification of the whole of the Ulus of Jochi, including the Hordes that were within the Ulus. Golden Horde was still the Ulus of Jochi even when the blue Horde/Left Wing had its own personification materialise. This is somewhat similar to what happened with his father:

Mongolia was the original personification of the whole of the Mongol Empire, he has children that are born as (initially) representations of the divided sections of the overall empire but were still one with/loyal to the Great Khan and Mongolia and Mongolia continues /as the official representative of the Mongol Empire and is aligned with the lineage of the Great Khan. These Children then eventually go their own ways/infighting occurs.

Golden Horde was born as the future/original representation of the Ulus of Jochi. Jochi unexpectedly dies and his Ulus is ruled by two of his sons and split into two wings, with Batu and the Batuid lineage being the supreme rulers of the Ulus of Jochi, appointed by Genghis himself. The Ulus of Jochi's three Hordes become more distinct in the years after Berke's death and new personifications arise. Golden Horde is aligned with the Jochid/Batuid Ulus in the West, the other two Hordes (Ordaid and Nogay Horde) acknowledge his supremacy and he is still considered the overall personification of the Ulus of Jochi by the other two Hordes. These Hordes then go on to start fighting with each other at some point. 

Here is a really badly pictured map here which sets out what the Horde looked like from the 1270s. 

Note how the Western/Batuid Wing/White horde is called "Horde of the Jochid Khan '' thereby signifying its supremacy over the other Hordes (yes that is my nail sorry).

Elaborating on why I chose the years after Berke's death to give rise to the Ordaid and Nogay Horde personifications is not only because the hordes became more distinct at this point but this was also the period when the Ulus of Jochi broke away from the greater Mongol Empire (1260s) and ruled itself with pretty much it's own autonomy. 

Once that happened, it allowed for greater autonomy within the Horde, thus, allowing for these new personifications to emerge alongside the OG Ulus of Jochi. I see Berke's rule as the foundation for the other personifications within the Horde to manifest themselves because Berke's rule was the foundation of the Ulus of Jochi becoming independent of the greater Mongol Empire/Great Khan. Berke was the first ruler of the Horde that was elected without the approval of the Great Khan - he was "installed exclusively by Jochid begs" (Marie F. The Horde). Further, when Berke died in 1267, a quriltai (political meeting) was conducted to elect a new Khan. As Berke did not have an heir, this was used as a chance to finally solidify the line of Batu as the supreme/legitimate rulers of the Ulus of Jochi. 

I'll be a bit less vague here and give the approximate date of when I believe the Left Wing had its own personification materialise. I think that the aforementioned reasons were the foundations of the Left Wing having its own personification, and that the Left Wing's personification appeared in the late 1270's/1280 when Qonichi Khan came to rule it. This was because under Qonichi, the Left Wing/Ordaid Wing truly began to become more distinct from the Right/Batuid Wing (Golden Horde). This did not mean that they fought between each other - as mentioned before, the different divisions of the Ulus of Jochi generally worked together pretty well for many years. 

However it was this time period in which the Left Wing started to distinguish itself even more from the Right Wing "During these years [Qonichi's reign], Orda's ulus became independent from Batu's ulus" (The Golden Horde in World History Sh. Marjani Institute of History of the Tatarstan Academy of Sciences). Representatives of Orda's family discontinued the previously agreed vassal relationship with Sarai (Capital of the Golden Horde) and Karakorum (Capital of the Mongol Empire before it was moved to Beijing). According to Rash al-Din, they considered their ruler to be the deputy of Batu, however members of Orda's family did not often go to the Khan's of Batu's family, as they were far apart and ruled independently in their own territories, "...to consider their sovereign and ruler the person who is the deputy of Batu, and their names are written at the top of the labels" but, "from the very beginning there was no case that some member of Orda's family, who took his place, went to the Khans of Batu's family, as they are distant from each other and independent sovereigns of their uluses."

The personality of this Left Wing personification? I somewhat fashion it after Qonichi Khan himself. Qonichi's reign was largely peaceful. Marco Polo himself noted "The Tsar (Qonichi) has a lot of people, but he fights no one and peacefully rules his Kingdom." So in general he was a pretty chill and outgoing guy with a love for food. It's quite funny contrasting his personality with the Right Wing who's always been a bit of an aloof edgelord.

Berke's rapid expansion of Jochid independence was not all good for the Golden Horde though when it came to relations with his family, though, I don't think he cared much about if his family were happy with him or not. First let's start with the worsening relationship with the Ilkhanate. The relationship was already pretty bad from the get go (Mongolia giving more attention to Ilkhanate as a child) however once the Ilkhanate was officially installed, Hulegu (first Khan of the Ilkhanate) was essentially hogging all the power south of the Caucasus and not only that, was hogging his wealth. He was not sending the previously agreed portioned amount of booty to Berke Khan. Not only that but he executed Jochid princes who partook in the destruction of the Caliphate, most notably Quli, under suspicion of sorcery. Ilkhanate was pretty much being a spoiled, petulant brat and was absolutely not sharing with his older brother who he detested so much. 

Berke had had enough of this and expressed his rage at Hulegu for sacking Baghdad (Berke was Muslim). Whether Golden Horde really cared about that didn't matter, he hated Ilkhanate and Berke's rage was his ticket to attacking him. He allied with the Sultan Baybars of Mamluk Egypt, allying with a non Mongol group to attack his own brother in 1262.

Further, Golden Horde becoming more ballsy with Berke around meant that the Jochid retainers alongside the Muslim elite in Bukhara tried to declare Berke sovereign there. This led to Alghu Khan of the Chagatai Khanate to destroy the Jochid's Bukhara appanage and then invade their territory in Khorazam and Otrar. 

With Berke being the first Jochid Khan elected exclusively by Jochid begs therefore creating a new succession culture independent of the Great Khan, breaking away from the Great Khan/greater Mongol Empire, and the line of Batu being solidified as the supreme rulers of the Ulus (therefore Golden Horde would have aligned with the Batuids similar to how Mongolia aligned himself with the Great Khans), this eventually gave rise to the 3 hordes of the Jochi Ulus having their own distinct personifications during this era, with Golden Horde being the overall personification of the Jochi Ulus as 1) That's why he was born 2) Aligned with the Batuid lineage, Batu being chosen to rule the Ulus by Genghis Khan himself.

I've mentioned previously a time where it could be argued that the two hordes had different interests, therefore the Hordes should have distinct personifications earlier - the ascension of Guyuk as the Great Khan. Batu wanted nothing to do with it, however Orda actively participated in it to the point where he helped Guyuk dispose of those who wanted to usurp him. This however did not halt the cohesion/harmony between the two hordes. Orda still continued to acknowledge the supremacy of his brother's rule and the supremacy of Batuid rule was acknowledged even after the deaths of both brothers. I mentioned before how Ulus of Jochi/Golden Horde relied on the Ordaid Wing for normalfacing/diplomacy. 

I believe he continued to do this even when the Ordaid Wing got its own personification, but instead he was being relayed the tea by the Ordaid personification through letters and sometimes meetings (remember the quote from Rash al-Din, they were quite distant from one another) rather than being told by the Khans or the elite of the Ordaid Wing . I see this as sort of a funny situation. Golden Horde essentially wanted to put his middle finger up at his father by staying with Batu and not attending the coronation of Guyuk, but at the same time used Orda's attendance and aid during the coronation to maintain a somewhat stable relationship but to also let him in on the goings on with the rest of his family without unnecessarily directly involving himself (because he hates them-). 

So yeah. Even before the Ordaid Wing personification emerged in the 1280's, Golden Horde was using the Ordaid wing for diplomacy, trade, and to spy on his own family lol. The Ordaids were used to represent the Jochids during quriltais, and aligned their politics to those of the Batuids and came together to make political and military decisions. The Ordaids kept okay relations with the Great Khan/Yuan whilst the Batuids remained frosty (the spying). Rashid Al Din noted how the Ordaids "ruled their Ulus with autonomy" however still acknowledged that they "recognise Batu's successors and write their names at the top of their decrees". 

I love drawing parallels between Mongolia and the Golden Horde with this. Like Mongolia, Golden Horde created his own unique succession culture, and his Ulus was also divided and gave rise to new personifications within the Ulus. However Golden Horde was at this point in belief that he had usurped his father/had become better than him. Not only has he managed to carve out success for himself and create his own unique succession culture, but he had other personifications within him who were extremely obedient to him and acknowledged his supremacy over them with no problem. Unlike Mongolia, who's own children got tired of him pretty quickly, Golden Horde's branches were almost devoutly loyal to him, and were loyal to him for far longer than Mongolia's children ever were. I don't think I'd say they were exactly his children but I'll say they were his branches for now.

Whilst Mongolia had a separate relationship with his children because he was too busy doing his own things and only realised too late that maybe he should have been more present and it was to his detriment, Golden Horde also had a somewhat "separate" relationship from his branches but did this purposefully and for his own benefit. The Batuid Wing was both separate and intertwined with the Ordaid Wing. The Batuids (who Golden Horde aligned himself with) kept out of internal politics of the Ordaids, and never appointed a Khan for the Ordaids. However, as mentioned before, both wings came together to make joint political and military decisions. 

Whereas his father failed to maintain a harmonious - let alone good relationship with most of his sons (I mean can we really say he had a "good" relationship with Ilkhanate..."), Golden Horde found a perfect balance. He was not even half his father's age and he's already overtaken him in these aspects, which did not help with his superiority complex.

Mongolia did not appreciate Golden Horde's frosty attitude with him and found negotiating with the Ordaid Wing personification awkward. The Ordaid Wing personification emerged after the fallout of the Golden Horde and the rest of the empire and so he was unfamiliar with him personally and was unsure how to deal with him, unlike Golden Horde who he knew better because he was "born" to him. Even if the Ordaid Wing was a member of Mongolia's family, Mongolia did not like the loss of control (?) with the fact that he did not raise him personally (if you can call what Mongolia did raising) and so felt like the relationship between them was artificial.  His (usually) diplomatic nature and friendly tone just reeked fake to him (even if the Ordaid Wing was being genuine at times) and if not fake then it creeped him out but he couldn't quite put his finger on why. 

What Mongolia did not further appreciate was the Golden Horde seemingly wanting to be frosty with him but at the same time, as he would put it, meddle with his affairs. Ogedei Khan during his reign allowed the Jochids certain rights in the Middle East such as "the right to nominate the governors from their own retainers, the right to receive first tribute from the client Kings, and the right to a fifth share of all war booty" (Christopher P. Attwood Encyclopedia of the Mongol Empire). However once Guyuk Khan came into power, this changed. 

Not only did the Jochids lose their rights in the Middle East, earlier on, Guyuk publicly ridiculed Batu by laughing about his apparent lack of skill on the battlefield/reputation as a coward. Batu later got revenge when he skilfully planned the ascension of Mongke Khan to the throne as Great Khan - a Toluid, rather than continuing on with the House of Ogedei. This was due to the fact that "Batu invoked his authority of Senior Prince of Chinggis Khan's descendant.  He had decided to replace the house of Ogedei... the House of Tolui would rule the Empire" (Diane Wolff, Batu Khan of the Golden Horde).

The Ordaid Wing was very much in tune with what the Batuid Wing (Golden Horde) wanted. The amount of time that they remained in a mostly harmonious relationship with each other is quite impressive considering what usually happens when different divisions are created within empires. Golden Horde (Batuid Wing) inspired leadership and trust with the Ordaid/Left Wing and both were perfectly separate and intertwined at the same time.

The Ordaid Left Wing personification was a (usually) calm and sometimes overly friendly individual who was fiercely loyal to the Batuid Ring Wing (Golden Horde/Ulus of Jochi) and acknowledged/accepted his supremacy over him/the whole Horde and the fact that he was the rightful spearhead of the Horde with no hesitation, however both Horde's were in many respects independent from one another too. This reflects the relationship between the brothers Batu and Orda. 

I talked about how the Left/Eastern Wing became more independent from the Right/Western Wing during the reign of Qonichi and the various justifications I have for making him materialise around this period. But what happened after Qonichi died? What happened to the Horde in the 14th century onwards?

Once Qonichi died in 1302, all hell broke loose in the Eastern Wing. Civil wars broke out and it was split into different parts. Some of the contenders for the title of the Khan of the Left Wing was Bayan (Qonichi's eldest son and heir), Makuday (Qonichi's fourth and youngest son), Kubluk (Timur-Baka's son from a different branch of Ordaids, and Kushtay, who was the son of Kubluk. Rash al-Din's words indicated that Bayan was the true heir of the Left Wing, and he said that Bayan "was responsible for the bigger part of Orda's ulus). 

However this meant another contender, Kubluk, was also ruling a part of the Left Wing/Orda's ulus, albeit a smaller section. However this smaller section included the military, which itself broke away from Bayan. In addition, Kubluk was receiving support from Kaidu and Duwa, so despite the amount of fighting that Bayan participated in against them, he eventually stood defeated and had to flee to the Left Wing/Western Wing of the Horde to Toqta -- where the Batuids ruled. 

The reason why Qaidu sponsored the rebels that went against Bayan is because Qonichi himself went against Qaidu to establish friendly relations with the Yuan and Ilkhanate, so Qaidu wanted to get back at him for doing so by supporting the rebels that wanted to go against his son and rightful heir. Before 1284 when Qonichi came to rule, "Orda's successors followed the policy set by the rulers of the Golden Horde as a whole, supporting first Ariq-Boke and then Qaidu against Khublai Khan."

Bayan did attempt to seek help from Temur Khan of the Yuan (Mongolia) to defeat Kaidu and the Chagatai Khanate. However nothing came of it due to the distance between them (and in hetalia terms I'd mean that figuratively too. Remember, I said that Mongolia did not warm up to the Eastern Wing personification and was wary of dealing with him because he was not born to him like Golden Horde was, despite the fact that politics wise their relationship was fairly friendly).

It was during this period that the Right Wing of the Horde almost re-established its supremacy over the Left Wing, and the Left Wing was reminded of its dependance on the Right Wing. The Right Wing eventually helped Bayan in consolidating his rule over the Ordaid Wing, Toqta of the Batuid wing sent an army to aid Bayan in his struggle for power, "Toqta (of the Right Wing) came to his aid with a myriad bloodthirsty army and prevailed. Mumkiya fled, and his father's place was confirmed for Bayan." (Abu'l Qasim al-Kashani).

So what were the dynamics between Golden Horde and the Eastern Wing during all of this? Golden Horde certainly was not impressed by the rapid fallout of the Eastern Horde once Qonichi died, and he was definitely not happy with the fact that the recognition of his supremacy over the Eastern Horde seemed to be waning due to these internal conflicts, and that the Eastern Horde was being ruled by now someone who he considered not the rightful heir. Further, he was enraged that the Eastern Horde's inability to control itself lead to Kaidu(de facto leader of the Chagatai Khanate)/Duwa(Khan of the Chagatai Khanate)/Chagatai Khanate into meddling with internal Jochid affairs, as Kaidu was sending aid to Kubluk in order to use his help in order to fight against the Ilkhanate. As I've talked about before, Golden Horde has had a deep hatred of Chagatai Khanate since they were young. Toqta of the Golden Horde was enraged at the situation himself, and warned Kaidu to not give help to Kubluk/the rebels. In short, Golden Horde was angry. 

Qonichi, as mentioned previously, went against the previously established agreement that included the Western Horde to ally with Kaidu against Khublai/the Yuan/Mongolia. In fact, ultimately both Tode Mongke (of the Golden Horde) and Qonichi made peace with the Yuan in the 1280s and returned Numugan, Khublai's heir, from captivity.  When Qonichi died and Kaidu sponsored his heirs (Bayan) rebels, Chagatai Khanate thought that it was justified as Qonichi went against their previous alliance that was established in 1269 by Mengu-Temur (of the Golden Horde) in order to be friendly with the Ilkhanate and Yuan.

Once the Golden Horde aided Bayan in securing his rightful reign as the Khan of the Eastern Horde in the early 14th century, the Eastern Horde forever acknowledged his dependence on the Golden Horde. 

"The most likely explanation for the less of their (Left Wing) autonomy is that the descendants of Bayan, faced with continuing internal and external threats to their power, were forced to turn to Oz Beg (Right Wing) for help and protection and the payment, which was demanded by their patron for support, was the unprecedented subordination Left hand princes to the Right hand princes."

After this debacle, Golden Horde and the Eastern Horde became ever closer. Eastern Horde was already fiercely loyal to Golden Horde but this took it to a new level. Natanzi recorded that Bayan's heir, Sasi-Buka "followed the path of obedience and submission... and in all that time he never took a step off the path of service to Tugrul Khan (of the Nogay Horde) and Oz Beg Khan (Golden Horde) and never contradicted or refused Quriltai".

Now let's talk about the era of political turbulence during the 1360's. The seed of this discord was planted with the assassintation of Tini Beg of the Golden Horde. Tini Beg came into power once Ozbeg Khan died in 1341, however this did not last long. Before he ascended to becoming Khan though, his younger brother, Jani Beg, served as regent. Prior to ascending to Khan of the Western Horde, he was the governor of the Eastern Horde. His mother, Taydula, ordered for him to be killed once she heard news of him returning to court in 1342 out of fear of Jani Beg's life. Jani Beg subsequently ascended as Khan of the Golden Horde. 

It was with Jani Beg's own assassination in 1357 though, which eventually opened up the Horde to a period of political turbulence (called "the great troubles") His son Berdi Beg succeeded him. Berdi Beg took it upon himself to kill many of his closest kinsmen, and by doing so he (most likely) ended the Batuid lineage upon his own death,he himself being killed by his own brother, Qulpa, in 1359. 

Seeing all of this commotion in the West, princes of the Eastern Horde took this as an opportunity to seize power, "first in Saray (Capital of the Golden Horde) and then in Bulghar" (encyclopedia of the Mongol Empire, Christopher P. Attwood). Mamai, of the Western Wing, became a defacto ruler/kingmaker. He could never be Khan himself because he was not of Chinggisid descent. A lot happened during the great troubles, and the black death did not help because it hit both Hordes pretty hard. Further, the disintegration of the Ilkhanate and Yuan dynasty was to their detriment. Which is funny when you consider that "the demise of the Ilkhanids was supposed to be the Horde's crowning victory - the realisation of its moral right to vengeance and an opportunity to solidify the supremacy of the Northern Road." However with the Ilkhanids gone, this meant that the Jochids now had to deal with "smaller, unreliable neighbours" who weren't the "strong challenger[s] who played by the rules" from before (The Horde, Marie Favereau).

It was ultimately Toqtamysh, who was originally from the Eastern Horde, who consolidated the Horde into one polarity . Toqtamysh, however, was not of Batuid or Ordaid descent. He was not the first to become Khan who was not from either of these lineages though. The first was Qara-Nogay (also of the Eastern Horde), whose lineage was traced back to Toqa-Temur, Jochi's youngest son. This happened during the time after Berdi Beg of the Western Horde died and the Western Horde cycled through a huge number of "rulers". The Eastern Horde quickly chose Qara-Nogay after their Ordaid Khan died. Urus Khan, his cousin, took his place, and was particularly bloodthirsty. He murdered a chieftan by the name of Toy Khoja, who was also a contender for the position of Khan. 

Then comes Toqtamysh, who was Toy Khoja's son. He wanted revenge and so he sought it out with the help of Tamerlane/Timur of the Timurid Empire. In around 1378, he declared ultimate victory over Urus, and declared himself the Khan of the Jochi Ulus. Urus was later killed when he sought refuge in Caffa in 1380/81, when he was killed by the Genoese so they could prove their loyalty to Toqtamysh. The "last powerful" defenders of the "right hand leadership" were destroyed, Toqtamysh of the Left Hand Wing, a Jochid but not of Batuid or Ordaid descent, brought the Horde into one entity (Encyclopedia of the Mongol Empire, Christopher P Attwood)

During the great troubles, Golden Horde was severely weakened, both politically and physically. It was not a good time period for him. He relied on Mamai to be his Kingmaker, however as mentioned before, the Golden Horde cycled through rulers quickly. He felt somewhat humiliated that the Eastern Wing seemed to be far more stable than he was during this time seeing as he was the dominant party in their relationship. Whereas before, Golden Horde helped the Eastern Wing during a tumultuous period of his own during the rebellions against Bayan Khan, which ultimately led to the Eastern Wing depending on the Western Wing thereon after, the Eastern Wing was now the stable one who was "helping" Golden Horde become more stable, albeit at the cost of the destruction of the last defenders of the right hand leadership.

This meant that now there is only one personification for the Horde. Not only were both Hordes now under single supreme leadership under Toqtamysh, but the Horde underwent a change in leadership altogether. As Marie Favereau puts it, "The consolidation of power under Toqtamish was a creative response to the collapse of the Ordaids and Batuids." Once the Ordaids and Batuids died out, there were only two Jochi lineages left that were worthy of taking the throne, the Toqa-Temurs (Who Toqtamysh descended from) and Shaybanids. I do have a seperate OC for the Shaybanids/Grey Horde but I need to probably write another post for her lol. The Toqa-Temur line emerged as the favoured contender, as Toqa Temur was Jochi's youngest son. In Mongol culture, the youngest son was the "otchigen", meaning "keeper of the hearth", so those who were of the Toqa Temur lineage were seen as the protectors of the Jochi ulus.

So what do I think happened to the two personifications of the Horde once Toqtamysh consolidated it? The great troubles is seen as a East vs West wing thing, and while that's not entirely false, Toqtamysh did gain the loyalty from some Western begs during his rise to power, as they were not all loyal to Mamai. This might sound crazy or convoluted but I think some sort of fusion happened between the two of them? As pointed out before, Toqtamysh was a creative response to the collapse of the Ordaids and Batuids so I guess I wanted to be uh. Creative with this too. It wasn't just the Golden Horde/Western Wing who's ruling family died out, but also the Eastern Wing. Though the new ruling family (Toqa-Temurs) continued to be Jochid and had comfortable reasons to be the ruling family, this was still a major change as both the Eastern and Western wings identities were also built upon the Batuid/Ordaid lineage and the dynamic between them were shaped by the relationship between these two lineages, with the Batuids (Golden Horde) reigning supreme.

 

I don't want to get too philosophical about mind/body/consciousness arguments because this is hetalia and it's good to keep some things ~mysterious~  but yeah it's my headcanon that these changes and the consolidating of the the hordes into one polarity under Toqtamysh meant that a singular Golden Horde personification now emerged who came from the fusion of the two previous hordes, not born as a child (and I do not see this new Golden Horde as being some sort of child between the Eastern and Western Wing) but emerged as an adult. The previous two hordes did not die upon this fusion but lived on through this fusion (who I will refer to as Golden Horde for the rest of this post).

I think this fusion named itself "Altan", which means "Golden." There are many theories on why the Golden Horde was named the Golden Horde, like the fact that the Khans had golden tents or that it arose from bad translations. But I think it would be fun if it also stemmed from the fact that the Horde chose a personal name for itself that meant golden. 

In fact I believe that the original Golden horde, who accompanied the Batuid lineage in the West, changed his personal name at some point to be "Altan" to distance himself from his old name that was associated with his past/family. This is because the first known use of "Golden Horde" was in the Russian chronicle "History of Kazan" written in 1565. Then in the 19th century, the term "Golden Horde" was "assigned to designate the Jochi Ulus as a whole or (depending on the context) its Western part with its capital in Sarai" (The term Golden Horde is a mistake of the interpreter of the 16th century, Neil Maxinya). 

This is more of a fun headcanon, but seeing that Russian chroniclers began to use the term "Golden Horde" to mean the Horde as a whole or just the Batuid Wing, I think that the OG Golden Horde renamed himself "Altan", and then the fusion of the Eastern and Western Wing also named itself "Altan". This was all recorded by Russian chroniclers so uh perhaps Russia remembered the personal name the OG Golden Horde and the Golden Horde (fusion) gave to themselves, hence this is the reason why "Golden Horde" refers to either the Jochi Ulus as a whole and often just the Batuid Wing (that conquered Eastern Europe) but never the Ordaid Wing. 

Ultimately though, the Horde would fall again. Golden Horde with his newfound vitality (I mean he went and sacked Moscow in 1382 lol) got a bit too cocky and attacked the person who helped him come into existence (Timurid Empire, Timur). In 1385 the Golden Horde sought out an alliance with the Mamluks to go against his former ally, the Timurids. Toqtamysh wanted to revive the old alliance between the Horde and the Mamluks, as they came together before to go against the Ilkhanids. This is because "Tamerlane, Toqtamish's erstwhile partner, was on the Horde's caucasian doorstep, having launched military operations into Azerbaijan" (The Horde, Marie Favereau). A decade-ish conflict between the Golden Horde and the Timurids erupted with different players at hand, including Edigu of the Manghit clan. 

Contrary to popular belief it was not Tamerlane himself who destroyed the Golden Horde and the reason why Toqtamysh lost was primarily because he could not maintain the loyalty of the nomadic elite. Toqtamysh did not take the Golden Horde with him when he lost - it lived on for a while, however the political landscape became quite different. It was Edigu of the Nogays/Maghit who emerged victorious and he ruled, despite being a non-Chinggisid. It was his legacy along with the previous Hordes legacy that those in the future traced themselves back to, which in turn made them carry on Jochid tradition even after his death. He had a very influential political career, though he "only maintained something of the Horde's unity until 1411, but by 1425 independent regimes were ensconced throughout the Golden Horde territory" (Encyclopedia of the Mongol Empire, Christopher P Attwood) . 

It also formed part of the key link between the Golden Horde and the states that came from it, such as the Kazakh Khanate Uzbek Khanate, Karakalpaks, etc. which have backgrounds descending from Golden Horde (The Eastern Wing) and Manghit confederations, and this is confirmed in common clan names and folklore.

The Great Horde rump state was created after the death of Edigu which was based around the old Golden Horde capital of Sarai, and various different Khanates broke off from this state. This tiny state could have been the very last stand of the Golden Horde.

Eventually the Golden Horde became no more and lived to around 1502/3 at the very latest, as the Crimean Khanate finally destroyed what was left of the "Great Horde" state at this time. 

Closing thoughts

Anyways I spent way too much time on this and wrote way too much. There are some things that can be chalked up to the “mysterious nature of nation personifications” hence why I didn't want to mindfuck myself or anyone who reads this into trying to explain the intricacies of the “fusion” that made the new singular Golden Horde personification and I think nations can go through similar situations that the Western and Eastern wing did with no fusion involved and a different outcome for the personifications involved. Again it's all mysterious I guess and I want to keep some of the mysticism behind the nature of nation personification beings. Sorry for any spelling errors.

Anyways happy horde-posting 🐴

[smileinthedark]

.

[beybaldes]

i swam a lake of fire, I’d have walked across the floor of any sea

masterlist

Sejanus plinth x gn!reader

summary: While you don’t enjoy being in the arena, you’d spend the rest of your life there if it meant you were there with him.

warnings: okay I wrote a second part lol but can definitely be read as a stand-alone fic, loosely accurate but not like word for word scene for scene or anything, I typed Coriolanus about 7000 times for this and it doesn’t feel like a real word anymore, slightly angsty once again but fluff I promise! title is hozier unreal/nth

an: dear all my Ted lasso mutuals that may be seeing this, the gods have struck me with inspiration but for this man and this man only, Roy Kent will one day renter my heart and when I do you will get 10 million fics, I love you all dearly

Only hours ago you were sat on the steps of the academy, not an inch of space between you and Sejanus, him alive and breathing and right in front of you. And now, Dr Gaul was on the other end of the phone line, telling you that Mrs Plinth and Coriolanus Snow were on their way to pick you up, and that the three of you were to go to the arena and get Sejanus the hell out of there.

If you knew him any less, you’d say you didn’t know what got into him, but this was exactly who Sejanus was. You had no doubt in your mind that he had snuck his way in there for Marcus, for something that only he could understand; it’s why you hung up the phone without another word and practically ran down to the street, waiting for Mrs Plinths car to come for you.

Within a minute of you getting to the curb, a long, sleek, black car pulled up in front of you, and Coriolanus Snow came out of it, holding the door open for you and gesturing for you to get inside. You’d never seen him so gentlemanly. Sure, he was always polite, especially to others at the academy, but it always held a limit. A condition.

“Thank you, Coryo.” Coriolanus was startled by the three little words. You’d never called him Coryo before. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue, or maybe Sejanus’s use of it over the years was starting to wear you down and warm you up to the blond.

As you entered the car, you moved to sit directly next to Sejanus’s ‘Ma’ reaching and taking her hand in your own. “It’s going to be okay Mrs Plinth. We’ll get him out of there.” Her grip on your hand tightened with each second you got closer to the arena, just like Sejanus’s had hour earlier when the two of you were sat side by side in the safety of the academy. He definitely had his mothers smile and tenderness, and ability to ease your worrying soul just by being in her presence.

The rest of the car ride went in tense silence, no one daring to say a word until you had seen that Sejanus was alive and well, and out of the arena. Gaul and the peacekeepers had no problem all but shoving you and Coriolanus into the arena upon your arrival, the two of you gripping onto each other in mutual fear as you walked yourself into what could be your deaths.

Silence filled the arena, and it seemed as though all of the tributes had gone into hiding for the night. For all you knew Sejanus, kneeled in the middle of the room beside Marcus’s body, was the only living thing here.

As the two of you neared him, Coriolanus’s foot hit a stone, making just enough noise to startle Sejanus, who jumped as he turned around, thinking this might finally be his end. Upon seeing you and Coryo, he turned back to Marcus, letting out a breath of relief. “I thought they’d send in my Ma.”

“She’s outside, waiting for you.” You stepped forward before Coriolanus could say a word, not allowing his nerves of being in the arena to let him speak to Sejanus in a harsh tone. Sure, coming into the arena was stupid, of course it was, but that thought didn’t dare cross your mind right now. All that mattered was him. “Sejanus, what are you doing here?”

“I’m making sure Marcus has enough food to get to the afterlife with.” Sejanus explained softly, his head hung low and eyes unmoving from Marcus’s still body. “It’s a tradition, in district two, to make sure they don’t go hungry. I can’t let him go hungry.”

A clang could be heard in the distance, the children from the districts slowly beginning to stir around the amphitheatre after the noise made by you and Coriolanus emerging through the barricades. You knelt by Sejanus’s side, taking his hands briefly in your own.

“That’s beautiful, you’re beautiful, but we need to leave.” Your hands were once again against Sejanus’s face, cradling his cheek and frantically pushing his curls out of his eyes. His brow creased, confused with the whole situation before him; he thought you knew how important this would be to him, that you’d let him stay, stay with him even.

“But you were right.” Oh God. What had you said to make Sejanus think that this was a good idea, an idea at all? If Sejanus was to die in here you’d never forgive yourself. “I have to go where the cameras are. I have to do this.”

“Sejanus, no.” Tears threatened to pool at your waterline, knowing that what you’d said only hours ago could’ve led Sejanus to his death if he hadn’t been spotted sooner. “Not like this. Please.”

He went to fight against it, knowing that if he wanted to make change his best chance was from here, at the heart of the problem, but he never got the chance, you cutting him off before he could even begin to speak. “Gaul has cut the cameras, if you die in here she will just pretend that you died of the flu. There are better ways to make change, and I know you can and you will.” Closing what distance there was left between the two of you, you rested your forehead against his. Would anything be enough to get him to leave with you now? “You will be the change you want to see in this cruel world, Sejanus, but not in here, not like this.”

Despite the loud clanging of metal against the concrete floors of the arena, you kept your head pressed firmly against his, running your thumb across the apple of his cheek in hopes he’d leave the arena with you now, before things had the chance to get worse. As the clanging of metal got louder, and Lamina, the girl from 7, began to rise from her slumber above you, Coriolanus stepped closer to the two of you, moving away from where he had been keeping watch.

“Sejanus please, we need to go.” No sooner than Coriolanus had got the words out, Bobbin, the boy from 8, came charging at the three of you from the darkness, a large, machete-like blade in hand. Coriolanus reached out for your hand as you reached out for Sejanus’s, the three of you breaking into a sprint in hopes to escape the tribute before he could hurt any of you. The whole run he was hot on your feet, swinging his sword carelessly in hopes he’d land a hit on one of you. And as you jumped over the barriers, ready to rush for the gate, you thought you’d gotten away scrape and scratch free, however, Sejanus’s knee caught against the turnstile, sending him crashing to the floor while you and Coriolanus landed on your feet.

“Sejanus!” Without hesitation you turned back for him, coming to his side and reaching to help him up, but before you could lay a hand on him, Bobbin swung for you, slashing your arm from shoulder to elbow over the barricade. “Fuck.”

Coriolanus had grabbed a plank from the rubbled floor, swinging at Bobbin in an attempt to get him to back away from the three of you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Your arm, your arm.” Sejanus gasped, his hand flat over the wound as if he could heal it with his touch. “This is my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” You repeated, pulling Sejanus to his feet and slinging his arm over your shoulder while you wrapped your arm around his waist. As you turned to see if Coriolanus was still alive, you were met with the sight of him pummelling the tribute to death, blood coating the concrete floor. You don’t think you’re ever going to forget the sight of Coriolanus snow heaving in breaths as he stared down at the dead child. The child he’d killed. Though right now you didn’t have time to dwell on it, Coral and her gang running directly towards you, weapons in hand and ready to slice. Coriolanus jumped across the barrier in one swift movement, coming to Sejanus’s other side to help practically drag him through the tunnel and out of the gate. “Open the gate! Open the gate!”

“Open the gate!” Coriolanus yelled, the gate opening just enough that the three of you could get out to the other side, and closing immediately after, Coral and her team trapped on the other side of the gate as the three of you fell to the floor.

As Coriolanus stood, staring down Coral as she spat insults and threats at him, you turned to Sejanus, throwing an arm around his neck and crushing him in a tight embrace. “You’re okay, I’m okay, we’re okay.” Taking a second to breathe, you pulled yourself away from his touch, only enough that you could see his face and make sure he actually was okay. Sejanus leaned into the soft touch of your palm to his cheek, pressing a dazed kiss so delicately to the inside of your wrist. A smile curled on your lips. “We’re okay.”

“Your arm.” Sejanus started blubbering apologies, both to you and Coriolanus, not only for having to come into the arena to get him, but for the injuries you’d sustained in doing so. “I’m so sorry.”

Coriolanus just walked away from the scene, nodding at Mr and Mrs Plinth as he went to get his bloodied shoulder attended to and speak with Gaul, but you stayed with Sejanus, paying absolutely no mind to the searing burn that emitted from your shoulder as you helped him up. It could wait. You once again held him up by his waist, allowing him to put his arm around your shoulders despite the pain that seared through them at his touch, and helped him walk over to his Ma, who’s arms he fell into almost immediately.

“I’m sorry, Ma. I had to do it, I had to do it.” Mrs Plinth just ran her hand over his back, soothing his worry with each gentle touch.

“You need to get your arm bandaged up.”

“I’m fine, Coryo.” The blond had appeared beside you, shirt in his hands as he’d just been covered in bandages and gauze. His whole body appeared stiff and you weren’t sure if it was due to the fight he’d just won or the consequence of it.

“You’re not, you’re bleeding.” He stated, poking you at the breach of your wound as if to make a point. “See, that must hurt.”

“I’m fine, Coryo, seriously.” You folded your arms across your chest, stealing the expression on your face and taking in a long deep breath as though it would ease the pain and stop you from showing just how much it hurt. “Sejanus will need his knee looking at, I will get my shoulder looked at after.”

Coriolanus only scoffed, his sympathy for you extremely limited now. If you wanted to bleed to death to make sure Sejanus, who nearly gotten all three of you killed, was okay, then who was he to stop you? “Suit yourself. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Only you and Sejanus made it to the capitals hospital, his father insisting that if he was grown enough to go into the arena by himself, then he was grown enough to go to the hospital by himself. And though his Ma had insisted she come with, Strabo had made it clear she would not. While the damage to his knee hadn’t been terribly bad, it was still likely that Sejanus would feel sore and walk with a limp for a while. You hadn’t thought about the cut along your arm once the whole time, but Sejanus clearly had, distracting himself while the nurse put his knee in some kind of splint by tracing his finger along the jagged edge of your uniform, split open by the curve of Bobbins knife. The second the nurse announced she was done with sorting his knee, he made his move. “Can you look at their shoulder? It’s still bleeding.”

The nurse took one look over you, noticing the torn material of your red blazer and the deeper red of the blood that coated it, then ordered you to take off your clothes except for your undershirt, so she could tend to it. “Oh sweetheart, this looks nasty. Why didn’t you say anything sooner.”

“It’s not that bad.” However, your lie almost immediately fell through as she poured some kind of transparent, white liquid on the wound, you gasping as it made contact with your skin. Sejanus immediately reached for your hand, squeezing it and offering a channel for your pain, his other hand coming to rest against your temple, his fingers brushing back though your hair, much like you had done to him earlier in the day.

“You’re okay.” Sejanus soothed his thumb running across your cheek. “You’re okay.”

You were okay, but not because your shoulder was finally being tended to. Sejanus was safe. Alive and safe. And you didn’t plan on letting him out of your sight for as long as you possibly could. When the nurse had finished cleaning up the wound, she excused herself to go and find some gauze and a big enough roll of bandages, promising to be right back.

“Did you mean what you said?” Sejanus asked, his eyes not quite meeting yours, instead focusing on where his thumb met the skin of your cheek, it running over the slightly grazed skin. You must have scratched it against the floor when you fell. “Before? Outside the academy?” When it was clear to him that you weren’t sure of which thing you’d said that he was talking about, he let out a short laugh, rolling his eyes at you lovingly. “That you’ve… grown fond of me?”

“Sejanus…”

You didn��t get to chance to give your obvious answer - you’d only ever been honest with Sejanus, and you weren’t about to change that now - he started talking again. “Is that the reason you came to get me out of the arena?“

Slowly, as he continued to stream out endless questions in your direction, you leaned over from your seat in front of him, placing your hands either side of where he sat on the cot and placing your lips softly against his. Sejanus froze under your soft touch, entirely unsure of himself; he’d never kissed anyone before, and he’d thought so often about kissing you that it didn’t feel real. At least for a second, anyway, as when you tried to pull away at his unresponsiveness, he pushed his lips against your own, not too rushed and not too firm, one of his hands coming to rest against the small of your back.

“I have grown so much more than just fond of you, Sejanus plinth.” You pulled your lips away, smiling to yourself as he chased after your kiss. Less then an inch separated the two of you from locking lips again, and the only thing seeming to restrain Sejanus from kissing you again and again right then and there was the fact he wanted to hear what you had to say. He always did. “I’d follow you anywhere across Panem, from across the districts to the arena itself. They haven’t invented a word for what it is I feel for you yet.”

Sejanus seemed to be in a daze, his mind not quite up to speed with the rest of his body. One of his hands moved to cup your neck, and his eyes kept scanning over your face and repeatedly landed on your lips no matter how hard he tried to look elsewhere. Now that he’d kissed you, he worried the only thing that would be able to come out of his mouth would be the fact that he’d kissed you, at least until he had the fortune of kissing you again. Almost breathless and with a slightly shaky hold on you, Sejanus knew what he had to do.

“Will you kiss me again?”

an: mwah!!! Thank you for reading guys and for all the love on my other Sejanus fic/part one!! Potential third part set in the districts when Sejanus becomes a peacekeeper what do we think??

part 3: of the goodness, love, that I still carry for you out now!!

[aristrocrat]

Chapter 3

S2 Episode Three

SUMMARY: Y/N and Stiles keep getting cockblocked. The pack goes ice skating. Y/N can’t stop resisting the urge to use her powers.

WORD COUNT: 7000 (damn wtf i went OFF with this chapter. had so much fun writing this omg)

TW: Sexual language, cursing, blood. What else is new bitches 😐

“A tail?” You furrowed your brow as you looked over at Stiles. “Like a dog tail? Did it wag?”

“What? Only you would ask if it wagged,” He stopped to look at you with sass. “No, it did not wag, and no, it was not like a dog tail! Scott said it was almost.. lizard-like.”

“Gross,” You mumbled.

“And dangerous,” Stiles deadpanned, looking up at Scott and Allison. You both stood in silence for a moment before he spoke up again. “So about last night-”

“Oh my god,” You blushed, hiding behind your hands. “I’m so sorry about that. I seriously don’t know a bigger buzzkill than my mom.”

“I was gonna call her a cock block but that works too,” He smiled before taking your wrists into his hands and lowering them before looking into your eyes. “Hey, it’s alright! Don’t be embarrassed. I get it. She came home early and found you gone so you had to leave. I’m not in any rush. We can do this on your time.”

“You mean my mom’s time?” You groaned. “At least my dad’s coming home tonight. I don’t know if I could stand another day with her crazy ass.”

“Your dad’s coming home?” He perked up. “Oh, we are so going to his apartment tonight! He’s making dinner, right?”

“Yup, some sort of pasta I think,” You laughed. “You know you’re always welcome! He’s like in love with you.”

“Are you kidding? I’m the one who’s in love with him!” He smiled, making you giggle and roll your eyes. “Seriously! He’s the coolest person I know.”

“Hey!” You protested.

“I said what I said,” He shrugged, chuckling boyishly as you pushed him away.

“Alright, Y/L/N, Erica! You’re up!” Coach called as Allison climbed down.

“Saved by the bell, asshole!” You joked before walking up to the rock climbing wall. You strapped on the safety rope and looked over to see Erica nervously fumbling with it. “Here let me help. These things are so awkward.”

“Thanks,” She smiled, facing you so you could buckle her into the strap. You nodded once before making your ascent to the top. Though it was far from effortless, it was your favorite day in gym class so you had fun climbing. You hopped down again and raised your arms with pride.

“WOO!” Stiles shouted, making those around him jump as he looked over to Greenberg. “That’s my girlfriend!”

You laughed and blushed at the scene he was making before you look over to see Erica was still gripping at the middle of the wall, clenching for dear life as she hyperventilated. Your eyes widened as everyone approached.

“Erica!” Coach called, running up next to you. “Dizzy? Is it vertigo?”

“Vertigo’s a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear,” Lydia scoffed before looking up in annoyance. “She’s just freaking out.”

“Would it kill you to be a little nicer?” You returned her tone, making her eyebrows shoot up. She opened her mouth to speak before Coach spoke up again.

“Erica!”

“I’m fine,” Her voice trembled.

“Coach, maybe it’s not safe. You know she’s epileptic,” Allison informed.

“Wh-Why doesn’t anybody tell me this stuff?!” He huffed before looking at you. “Y/L/N, climb up there and tell her to kick from the wall! Just coax her down. Kick her off if you need to!”

You nodded before making your way up again, stopping right next to her.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” You smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder as you leaned against the rope. “Look, this thing’s pretty safe. I’ll climb down with you. Just tell me when you’re ready.”

She nodded and hesitantly let go of the rocks, quickly gripping the rope. You smiled. “There you go. Now just hop down like this.”

Her shaky breath relaxed a bit as she watched you descend slowly, following your lead. Once she landed, Coach began to speak to her softly and tried to soothe her before the crowd of students erupted in howls of laughter. Erica looked around before walking off in shame, making your heart drop at the sight.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Coach pat your back before dismissing the class. You all rushed to the locker rooms for a quick shower. Lydia gave you the cold shoulder for your comment so you stuck with Allison, waiting in the hallway for your boyfriends.

———

“What do mean tonight’s not a good idea?!” Stiles asked as he changed into another shirt.

“I don’t know. That thing that we saw last night, Isaac missing, Allison’s grandfather- All this stuff happening with Derek just doesn’t feel right. Y/N told me she had a bad feeling about something. I mean what are the odds?” Scott responded as he closed his locker.

“No, you’re not backing out! Do you wanna know why?” Stiles stood his ground. “Because you and Allison are obviously having quite a good time together. And you know who else wants to have a good time? Stiles! Stiles wants to have a good time. And for that matter, so does his girlfriend! Many, many times. Several times in a row. In several different positions!”

“Dude! Spare me the details, that’s basically my sister you’re talking about,” Scott cringed. “Besides, I thought you were gonna have a good time last night?”

“We were! We were on the fast track to having said good time. But I only got to like second base and a half before her mom called and told her to get her ass home!” Stiles sighed before realizing Scott’s aloof face. “Are you even listening to me?! This is serious!”

“Y/N,” He muttered before looking up with panic.

“Yes. I am talking about Y/N. Who the hell else would I be talking about?!” Stiles shouted before looking at Scott’s shaking hands and sighing. “What is that?”

“I think something’s wrong,” Scott said before the two took off, running back into the gymnasium to see you trying to pull the matt out under Erica who was halfway up the rock climbing wall again. “Oh shit!”

“Don’t help me! Go stand under her in case she falls,” You breathed as you continued to pull. Stiles quickly took the place beside you and began helping. “Thanks. I got this bad feeling in my stomach that led me back in here. I saw her on the wall and I think she’s about to have a seizure.”

“Put her on her side! On her side!” Allison shouted as she approached her boyfriend. You and Stiles let go of the mat and ran up to the girl Scott placed on the ground. “How’d you know?”

“I don’t know. I felt this pull. Like I needed to check on..” He whispered before the pack’s eyes landed on you. “You.”

Your lips parted, remembering something from an article you read recently. If a Delvoux connects with a supernatural being on a spiritual level, there’s an unbreakable bond between them. A twin flame. With time and trust, your blood no longer affects them, leaving you fully vulnerable to their attacks. In times of need, they feel drawn towards you. It takes a pure bond on both ends; something you shared with Scott since birth.

“The article,” Stiles whispered, pulling you aside. “It was true.”

“I hope not,” You scrunched your face.

“Why? Isn’t it a good thing?” Stiles furrowed his brows.

“Not if I go crazy,” You hesitated. “He’ll feel every emotion. All the chaos and the destruction, he’ll feel it on a spiritual level. It won’t look pretty for either of us.”

“It’s not going to happen,” He reassured, holding your shoulders. You sighed and looked back at Scott who held Erica’s head, trying to minimize any impact from her subconscious jerking.

“I fucking hope not,” You breathed.

———

“Ew, does being your twin flame mean we’re like gonna fall in love or something?” Scott cringed.

“Okay, first of all, ouch!” You laughed, throwing a green bean at his head. He, of course, caught it with a smile. “I don’t think you could sound any more grossed out at the thought of me if you tried! And second of all, ew! No, it just means we’re like platonically bonded. Think of it as siblings but with our souls instead of our blood.”

“So you can say ew but I can’t?” He took a bite from his apple. “And you call my ego fragile.”

“I’m saying ew because of the fact that we’re basically siblings. I didn’t call you gross!” You giggled, grabbing his apple out of his hands and taking a bite.

“Hey!” He reached for it as you pulled it away again. “Eat your own apple!”

“I ate mine already!” You shrugged before Stiles walked up and slammed a keychain on the table, making you jump.

“Got ‘em!” He smiled. “I’ll pick you guys up right after work tonight and we’ll meet at the rink, cool?”

“I’m not working tonight actually. I was planning on going to Allison’s after school to get ready together,” You said, looking up to see their eyes had drifted towards the doorway. You sighed and turned only to be greeted by a pair of long, tan legs. Your jaw dropped at the sight of Erica walking in, repping a new look. “Holy shit..”

She proceeded to walk up to a boy and take a bite from his apple, seductively wiping her bottom lip afterward. She looked good. Her hair fell into loose ringlets, her walk was powered with confidence, and her smile made everyone in the cafeteria stop what they were doing. It was like everyone was entranced by her beauty.

“What the holy hell is that?” Lydia slammed her hands on your table.

“It’s Erica,” Scott responded.

“She’s hot?” You mumbled, more as a statement, before feeling two dainty fingers slip under your jaw and push it closed. You looked up at Lydia who smirked down at you. Stiles’ eyes widened at the way she touched you, pinching himself to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“I’m still hotter,” Lydia leaned down, only inches from your face.

“I was just thinking the same,” You smiled, grabbing her face and pretending like you were gonna kiss her. You both giggled and pulled away.

“I-Is this how girls joke around?” Stiles squeaked before Scott got up and walked after Erica. “Can I come with you to Allison’s after school? And every other day for that matter?”

“Come on,” You laughed, taking his hand and running behind Scott. He followed behind you but not without a smart remark.

“Wait, I wanted to see what the two of you were going to do!” He whined as you pulled him behind you.

“Keep dreaming,” You looked back before running into Scott, bumping back into Stiles. You looked past him to see Erica getting into Derek’s black Camaro and driving off with him.

“Well that’s not good,” Stiles muttered.

———

“What about this?” You asked, twirling to show your outfit off to your friends.

“Try the red dress!” Lydia smiled. “That one looks really good on you!”

“Okay,” You giggled. “Unzip me.”

She gladly abided before pausing to look at the door. You glanced over to see Mr. Argent knocking as he entered the room. He pulled Allison away for a few moments as you continued to play dress-up with Lydia. She added a few accessories on you and worked on your makeup as Allison entered the room again.

“So you have a date?” She grinned, looking at Lydia.

“Well, I did,” She grumbled. “He just texted saying he can’t tonight. Can I just tag along with you guys?”

“Uh,” You raised your brows and looked at Allison. “I mean-“

“If you don’t mind hanging out with a group of couples, then sure!” She laughed, almost positive Lydia would back down at her comment.

“Beats being alone,” Lydia shrugged. “This is gonna be so fun!”

“Yeah,” Allison looked over at you with wide eyes. “So fun..”

———

“Lydia,” Stiles forced a smile as she walked past him. You walked up to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “You invited Lydia?!”

“Lydia invited Lydia,” You corrected, watching her walk into the rink. He groaned. “Don’t worry! My full attention is yours tonight.”

“I don’t think you even believe that,” He grumbled. You smiled and gently took his cheek into your hand. “Fine. But you owe me.”

“I texted my dad and asked him to make your favorite tonight,” You tilted your head sweetly. “He can’t join us for dinner though. He‘s going out with a few college buddies tonight.”

“Damn it, I was actually looking forward to seeing him,” He sighed. “But I’ll settle for lasagna.”

“Stiles.”

“Hm?”

“He’s leaving the apartment to ourselves for a few hours.”

His eyes shot wide open with excitement.

“Okay, you’re forgiven! For everything you’ve ever done ever and everything in the future,” He spoke quickly, making you throw your head back in laughter before you waltzed into the arena. He stayed behind to watch the way your hips swayed as you walked up and got a pair of ice skates before proceeding to do the same.

“You know,” Lydia started you took the seat next to her. “I know I’ve given you a lot of shit in the past for dating Stiles. But he’s actually really cute.”

You looked up at her only to see her eyes on your boyfriend as he chose a pair of black skates. As much as you hated to admit it, you felt a spark of jealousy ignite, a feeling you hadn’t gotten in a long time. Not because of her words, but the way she said them. It was a challenge.

“Thanks,” You smiled, lacing up your skates. “I think so too.”

“Like really cute!” She giggled.

You knew bringing her was a bad idea. She wasn’t going to let your little comment from earlier slide as easily as you thought she would. You hated her psychological warfare but had no choice but to participate.

“What’re you guys talking about?” Stiles smiled as he took the seat next to yours.

“Nothing,” You smiled.

“You, silly,” Lydia corrected. “Well, you and Y/N, that is. God, it’s so cold in here! Do you have a jacket I could borrow?”

“Uh, yeah, I think I have something in my bag,” Stiles responded, completely oblivious to her attempt at flirting. You clenched your teeth, holding back any sort of smart remark. “Here.”

“Oh, she hates orange,” You commented. “She thinks it clashes with blue. What were the words you used, Lyd? The worst color combination ever?”

“But it’s the colors of the Mets,” Stiles pouted.

“I don’t remember saying that! I love the Mets!” She smiled, taking the jacket. You rolled your eyes and looked over at your boyfriend.

“Oh, before I forget- Look at what I brought you!” He grinned, reaching in his bag to grab a Reece’s peanut butter cup.

“I love Reece’s! Thank you!” You perked up, reaching for the orange package.

“I should’ve eaten before I came,” Lydia sighed. “My stomach is growling like crazy.

You looked over in annoyance, only to receive yet another smile.

“Oh, give it to Lydia. I don’t mind,” Stiles mindlessly spoke as he laced up his skates. You pressed your tongue against the inside of your lip before holding it out to her.

“Thanks, Stiles!” She smirked, taking the package from your hands and opening it.

You looked over at your boyfriend and watched as his hands fumbled with the laces, getting an idea. You leaned over and kissed the spot behind his ear that drove him crazy, making him look up at you with an amused smile.

“What are you doing?” He whispered. You shrugged before rubbing your hand on the base of his neck, using your thumb to stroke softly as his jaw.

“Nothing,” You responded innocently. “You’re just really attractive.”

“Oh?” He smiled as you leaned in. You placed your lips on his own, almost instantly deepening the kiss. He wrapped his hand in your hair, almost forgetting where he was for a moment. You pulled away with a grin before turning to face Lydia again.

“You two are so cute,” She forced a smile.

“Aren’t we just?” You scrunched your nose and smiled back. She bitterly hummed in response before walking onto the ice.

“What was that about?” Stiles chuckled.

“I’ll tell you later,” You shook your head before standing up. “Ready to skate?”

You spent the first few minutes holding on to each other, giggling every time one of you almost fell.

“Hey, I think I’m starting to get the hang of it!” Stiles called as he let go of your hand to skate ahead a little bit. “This isn’t so- Oh my god. Oh my god! I’m falling! Y/N! I need you! HELP!”

You laughed and reached out for him as he stumbled around, trying to stabilize him through your laughs. He finally stood still before his feet went out from under him. He yelped and subconsciously grabbed your waist as he fell, taking you down with him. You both lost it, wheezing as you laid on top of him.

“Ouch,” He chuckled. “You’re so mean!”

“Me? I tried helping!” You barely could get the words out. “You’re the one who took me down with you!”

“Yeah, but like the fantastic boyfriend I am, I cushioned your fall!” He argued, smiling as he pushed a few stray hairs behind your ear.

“That was so not on purpose!”

“Uh, it so was!” He shook his head, pretending to be baffled by your comment. “But don’t thank me. Thank my tailbone. He really took most of the blunt force.”

“Aww, are you okay?” You said, getting up and holding out your hand. He gladly took it.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’d be a lot better if you kissed me though,” He grinned before puckering up and tapping his lips with his pointer finger.

“Ah, okay, well just as long as it makes you feel better,” You smiled as he pulled you towards him and placed a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Y/N! Stiles! Watch this!” Lydia called before she performed a whole ass figure skating routine. You both looked over as she twirled away on the ice. You rolled your eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. “Y/N, can you do that?”

“Y/N,” Stiles warned. “Don’t do it. It’s not worth wasting your magic on-.. and she’s gone. I’m talking to myself now. Great.”

You channeled the familiar part of your brain that you used for school, using it to guide you elegantly on the ice. You began skating and twirling and jumping around, performing a perfect routine. Lydia watched, jaw agape, with utter shock. You skated towards her with a smirk.

“Can you do that?” You asked innocently, making her give you a look of annoyance. Stiles reached out for you as you skated by, stopping you. “Sorry. I know, I know. That was reckless.”

“I think you mean awesome!” He shouted with glee. “Oh my god! That was seriously like something out of the winter Olympics! I wonder what else you can do!”

“Thanks! But I’m not trying to find out,” You grinned. “Wanna go take some pictures in the photo booth?”

“Uh, ch’yeah!” He laughed before you both skated off. Scott and Allison crawled out of the booth and smiled at you two. “Hey! Come take pictures with us!”

“Stiles, it’s only meant for two people,” Allison giggled.

“That’s what we’re for!” Scott offered, taking a seat and patting his lap.

Allison looked up at the two of you and shrugged before happily plopping down. Stiles sat down next to them and held out his arm for you. You laughed at how ridiculously small the space was but took a seat on his lap regardless.

You all posed, smiling for the first picture and growling like a wolf for the second. The third one was a shot of the four of you laughing at the previous pose and the fourth was one of each person kissing their significant other, still evidently laughing. Two photo prints came out, one of which you took for yourself.

“Scott, your eyes!” You laughed at the way they flashed back with the flash. He looked at the one in Allison’s hands before tearing off the top half and handing her the normal side.

“Keep this one,” He smiled. “I like this half better anyway.”

The moment was suddenly interrupted by screaming. You all looked at one another and stumbled out of the photo booth to run back to Lydia. You all saw her gripping the ice and sobbing, skating up to her to calm her down. It took a few minutes to snap her out of it, but when she finally came back to reality, she spent the rest of the night looking as if she saw a ghost.

Allison drove her home shortly after. The rest of you shuffled into Stiles’ Jeep and drove back to Scott’s to drop him off before driving back to your father’s new place.

You sighed as you entered the vast and empty space that was your new home. A note was laid neatly on the counter that read: Lasagna’s in the fridge. Pop a slice or two or five in the microwave. Love you!

“Hey, so you wanna tell me what was up tonight?” Stiles spoke up from behind you. “What happened to not wanting to use your powers? I thought you needed to reserve them.”

“I do,” You sighed. “Lydia was taunting me all night because of the small remark I made about her in gym class. She knows exactly how to piss me off enough to make me want to show her she isn’t superior or better than me.”

“Damn,” He raised his brows. “What’d she do?”

“She was messing with my head,” You opened the fridge and popped a plate in the microwave before turning back to him. “Okay, I know how stupid this is going to sound. But she was flirting with you and it was driving me crazy.”

He laughed. “Lydia. Flirting with me? When?!”

“All night!”

“Look, I don’t want to sound like I don't believe what you’re saying is true but I really don’t think she was,” He smiled.

“Oh, please! Stiles, can I borrow your jacket? I’m so hungry! Y/N, your boyfriend is soooo cute! I love the Mets! She doesn’t even like baseball!” You huffed, crossing your arms. “And she took my fucking Reece’s cup!”

“Not the Reece’s cup!” He gasped before laughing. You lowered your jaw and gave him an unamused look. “Aww, don’t get mad! I’m sorry! I believe you. I guess it just went right over my head. I was so focused on you that everything she said was like background noise. All I kept thinking about was how hot you look in that dress.”

“Whatever,” You giggled.

“No, I’m serious!” He responded. “She can flirt all she wants but it won’t get her anywhere. I mean I genuinely didn’t even realize she was doing it because I am so, utterly captivated by you. It’s actually really annoying, thinking about you all the time. Yeah, it’s like a million times as bad when around you too. Hence the flirting going right over my head. She really doesn’t stand a chance.”

“You’re so cute,” You smiled, walking over to wrap your arms around his neck. “How do you know exactly what to say all the time? It actually baffles me just how perfect you are sometimes.”

His eyes danced between your eyes paired with a smile that teased the corner of his lips. He shrugged as a response.

“You’re really cute when you’re jealous,” He said softly.

“Am I?” You let out a breathy chuckle. “Well, I definitely don’t feel cute when I’m jealous.”

“Your competitiveness really comes out. God, and that kiss was so hot. Please, for my sake, be jealous more often,” He begged.

The microwave went off, but with the way he was looking at you, your mind barely registered it. His hazel eyes were focused completely on your own before they made their way down to your lips. You simply smiled and leaned in.

The kiss that started so soft and sweet slowly deepened, as if you were mutually agreeing to take it further. The second you slid your tongue on his lower lip, asking for entrance, he walked you into the wall behind you and the night began.

You felt his hands slowly trace your figure from your hips, up to your shoulders, and down to your wrists, taking a hold of them and pinning them on top of your head. He took his time kissing your neck before he let you go and entangled his hands in your hair, tugging slightly with desire.

Your now free hands mindfully and seductively traced up and down his chest before pulling him in closer by his belt loops. He groaned into the kiss, sending vibrations through your skull and a shiver down your spine.

“Let’s go to my room,” You said in between kisses.

It was your turn to grab onto his own wrist, guiding him towards the first room on the left. As soon as you closed the door behind you, his lips were on yours again.

“Are you sure?” He pulled away breathlessly, making you smile. “We don’t have to if you aren’t absolutely-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Yes ma’am,” He grinned, abiding your word before guiding you towards the bed, laying you down gently. He raised your dress up and left wet kissing on your stomach before you reached behind you to unzip it. “Wanna step out of that dress for me?”

“Mhm,” You hummed against his lips before you flipped positions, leaving you straddling his hips as you pulled off the red dress. You were left in nothing but the lacy black panties you’d bought for tonight.

“Woah,” He muttered, taking a moment to soak in your breathtaking figure. “Just.. wow. You’re stunning.”

You felt your everlasting smile widen before leaning down to kiss him once again. The pace slowed down; you both wanted to take your time and do this right, making sure to continue with enthusiastic consent.

Right as you began rubbing your hand up and down over his pants, you heard the front door open and close. You both paused before pulling away and looking at each other with wide eyes.

“Did you hear that?” You whispered.

“No,” He said a little too quickly. “I heard absolutely nothing.”

“Y/N? Honey, are you home?” You heard your father call out, making your boyfriend groan in frustration.

“Yeah, I’m changing into my PJs. I’ll be right out!” You called before lowering your voice. “Hide in my bathroom.”

He looked around, seeing it was the only place to hide, and nodded. He quickly collected his shirt and checked to make sure his shoes were still on; a rookie mistake he made in the past. You turned on the light as he rushed to your bathroom. You reached past in your bag to grab an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts to throw on before quickly checking and fixing your appearance in the mirror.

“Hey, Dad!” You greeted with a smile as you walked bag into the living room. “How was your night?”

“I’m very drunk,” He slurred before giggling. “Man, oh man, those boys know how to make the best apple martinis. It tasted like juice so I downed them like water. Did you know we used to water down your apple juice when you were little so you wouldn’t get hyper?”

“You got drunk off of apple martinis?” You chuckled, taking the lasagna out of the microwave.

“Who knew they were so delicious? Here I was drinking beer, never knowing the delight that was mapple tinis,” He paused before thinking. “Mapple.. Apple martinis.. I meant apple martinis!”

“Yeah, I got that,” You smiled as he clumsily took off his shoes. “Did you have fun?”

“So much fun!” He grinned before stumbling over to the counter. “Can I have that lasagna?”

“Go for it. I’m not that hungry anyway,” You giggled, pushing the plate towards him as he took a seat at the island. “I was actually about to hit the hay.”

“Boo!” He grumbled. “That’s boring!”

“It’s a school night! And from the looks of it, you should probably go to sleep too,” You reached in the fridge to grab him a bottle of water. “Drink this before bed. I don’t wanna nurse your hangover tomorrow.”

“I’ve got the liver of a 21-year-old athlete, foo,” He hiccuped before taking a bite. “Damn this is the best lasagna I’ve ever tasted in my life! Of course it is, I made it! Thanks, me.”

“Goodnight, Dad,” You laughed, walking over to kiss the top of his head.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams,” He responded before drawing in a big breath. “GOODNIGHT STILES!”

You froze before hearing a small voice from your room.

“.. Goodnight, sir,” Your face fell into the palm of your hand.

“If you sleep with the door open, I won’t tell your mom that he’s over so late,” Your dad offered. “He can borrow my Star Wars PJ bottoms. They’re in the top drawer. Oh, and you can take the car to school tomorrow! I won’t need it.”

“Really?! Thank you!” You grinned.

“No problem, kiddo,” He said with a mouthful of lasagna. “I’m gonna watch movies and eat popcorn.”

“You do that!” You said as you walked into his room to grab the pajama bottoms before going back to your own bedroom and throwing them at Stiles who sat on your bed. “Rain check?”

“Raincheck,” He affirmed before shifting uncomfortably. “How does he always know I'm here?"

“Maybe it's the Delvoux blood," You shrugged before smirking. "Or the fact that you literally parked your car at the entrance of the building."

"God damn it!" He huffed, recalling his obvious parking spot of choice. "The Jeep! Fuck, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," You giggled, placing a sweet kiss on his lips. "Now we know what not to do next time."

"It sucks knowing what we could've gotten away with tonight if we'd thought it through beforehand," He grumbled as he made his way to your bathroom.

———

“Y/N, we think Boyd is Derek’s next victim. Wanna go with Stiles to check to see if he’s home or with me to the rink?” Scott approached quickly as you shut your locker, Stiles right on his heels.

“I think you already know my answer,” You laughed.

“No, no, I need her to go with you,” Stiles argued.

“What? Why?” You both questioned.

“She needs to stop using her powers, dude. You can protect her better than I can,” He turned to Scott. “Plus, she brought her dad’s car so she can drive you there. It’ll be quicker.”

“But-“

“He’s right. I think it’s better this way. I’m almost positive he’s at the rink anyway so Stiles should be fine,” Scott grabbed your wrist and gently pulled you behind him. “Call if you need anything!”

“Will do!” Stiles shouted before running out to his Jeep. You and Scott made a beeline to your dad’s car, hopping in and speeding off.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this,” He mumbled. “Am I getting it from you?”

“Yeah, I think so,” You nodded, gripping the wheel.

“So why can’t you use your powers?” He asked as you made a sharp turn to the left.

“I don’t know if it’s true, but there are some articles that say the more you use it, the more likely it is to like.. make you go crazy in a sense,” You spoke up, looking over at his stunned face.

“So that’s the secret you’ve been hiding from us,” He mumbled. “Have you felt any different?”

“I honestly can’t tell. I mean, normally when Lydia tries to get under my skin, I can just laugh it off. Last night though.. It’s like I had this overwhelming urge to outdo her and I kind of channeled the magic or whatever to compete with her,” You sighed. “But I’m also just competitive. So who knows?”

“Maybe it’s triggered by anger the same way it is for me,” Scott pondered for a moment before speaking up. “You might be able to ask Allison if she knows something. Her family's gotta have some sort of book. And it’s not like she’ll tell anyone or anything.”

“You mean my worrywart of a friend? I don’t know, Scott. She’s got a lot on her plate right now, I’d hate to worsen her anxiety,” You breathed.

“She’d hate to see you not ask for help. She’d rather see you reach out than go crazy,” He shrugged. “But it’s up to you.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. It’s not a bad idea,” You nodded as you pulled into the rink. “Now, come on. Let’s go get Boyd.”

Scott rushed into the building before you, scanning the vast space for any presence besides for the boy who sat on top of a Zamboni.

“Boyd!” Scott called as you walked in behind him. “I just wanna talk.”

He continued to drive the ice resurfacing machine, ignoring the two of you.

“Hey, come on, Boyd. Please,” You spoke.

“Did Derek tell you everything?” Scott asked. “And I don’t just mean going out of control on the full moon, I mean everything.”

“He told me about the hunters,” The boy broke his silence, grinding the machine to a stop.

“And that’s not enough for you to say no?“ You questioned, without judgment but with genuine concern. He fell silent once again.

“Whatever you want, there’s other ways to get it.”

“I just want to not eat lunch alone every day.”

“If you’re looking for friends, you can do a lot better than Derek,” Scott shook his head.

“That really hurt, Scott,” The familiar voice boomed behind the two of you. You turned to see Derek standing with his newly formed pack behind him. “I mean if you’re going to review me, at least take a consensus. Erica, how’s life been for you since we met?”

“Hmm. In a word, transformative,” She said before showing her teeth and growling. You rolled your eyes.

“Isaac?” Well, I’m a little bummed about being a fugitive, but other than that, I’m great,” He smiled at you, looking at you up and down.

“Okay, hold on. This isn’t exactly a fair fight,” You scoffed.

“Then go home, kid,” Derek smirked.

“She meant fair for them,” Scott slammed his fist into the ice below him before growling. You took your stance, hoping your magic wouldn’t fail you now. The two betas approached, Isaac going for Scott and Erica towards you.

“Didn’t he tell you, sweetheart?” You smiled. “You can’t hurt me.”

“No, I just can’t make you bleed,” She scoffed before running and throwing you back. You landed on the ice with a thud, groaning a bit as you slid before standing up again. “Doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” You chuckled before feeling the power run through your veins in a way that it never has before. It made you feel unstoppable. You could see how this could be addicting; it was euphoric.

She launched at you again but you jumped up, managing to kick her on the side of her head and knocking her down. “Woah..” You smiled.

“You bitch!” She growled, coming at you again. You waited for her to approach before manipulating her force against her to flip her into the ground below you. “That’s it!”

She whipped out her claws and stood up.

“Make me bleed. I dare you,” You taunted. She paused, realizing who she was up against. In the moment, she let her anger take over her judgment before she continued to march towards you with her claws fully retracted.

The power in your nerves surged excitedly through you. With it, came a feeling you’d never had before; you wanted to hurt her. You wanted to show her your power and frighten her to the point of pissing herself. You didn’t care at the moment if it killed her; you wanted retaliation to the extreme.

You saw a black flame-like aura appear on your hands as she continued towards you, you held them out as the black aura grew, bursting a black flame towards her chest. It sent her flying into the Zamboni headfirst, knocking her unconscious. You turned in time to dodge Isaac as Scott launched him back next to Erica.

“Don’t you get it?!” Scott shouted. “He’s not doing this for you! He’s just adding to his own power, okay? It’s all about him. He makes you feel like he’s giving you some type of gift when all he’s done is turn you into a bunch of guard dogs!”

“It’s true. It is about power,” Derek spoke. You looked at him breathlessly as you wiped your nose. Your eyes widened at the black blood that now decorated the back of your hand. “You look tired, Y/N. Let the big boys take care of this.”

He approached Scott, eyes now glowing red as he slowly transformed into his werewolf form. You saw as Derek head-butted him before slashing his claws through his stomach.

“Scott!” You yelled, feeling something drip out of your nose.

“Stay out of this, Y/N! You’re bleeding!” He shouted before receiving more blows to his chest and jaw, returning them back to Derek and sending him stumbling backward.

You wiped at your nose and saw black blood smeared on the back of your hand. Maybe the whole black aura thing wasn’t such a good idea. You couldn’t help but wonder if your body was warning you against the type of magic you’d summoned. You’re thought were interrupted by Derek’s growl.

The alpha smiled before beating Scott senseless, sending him into the ice. He stepped up to him, pressing his heel into his throat. You looked up a Boyd, taking the keys from his hands and clenching your eyes as you sliced through the palm of your hand.

“God damn,” Boyd cringed as you approached Derek from behind. You grabbed his face with your bloodied hand before he turned around with shock.

“Oh shit,” You muttered before he flipped you over his shoulder, sending you flying forcefully into the ice next to Scott and knocking the breath out of you. He quickly took a small, silky fabric out from his jacket and wiped the blood off of his face, seeming to be just fine before walking back to his pack.

“Don’t,” Scott breathed as Boyd approached the two of you. “You don’t wanna be like them.”

“You’re right,” He lifted his shirt to reveal a bite, making you sigh and drop your head back in disappointment. “I wanna be like you.”

The four werewolves gathered before making their exit. Scott rolled over to look at you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, wiping the blood from under your nose and looking back at you. He took your wrist in his hand, seeing that the blood from your hand was still red. You nodded and sat up. “You have to be more careful. But I’ll admit- that last stunt you pulled? That was a killer move.”

“Literally and figuratively,” You smiled, looking down at the cut. “I wonder why it didn’t work though.”

“If you ask me, it probably has to do with that rag he wiped his face with,” Scott looked back as the door swung closed behind the last of them. “We need to find Stiles.”

“We need to take you to the clinic,” You argued, looking at the nasty bash in his stomach making him wince and hiss in pain as you lifted his shirt to take a closer look.

“It’ll heal,” He shook his head.

“Wouldn’t the healing process have started by now? He slashed it at the beginning of the fight,” You furrowed your brows, seeing it bleed a significant amount compared to his more recent wounds. You got up, helping him up before you both made your way back to the car. “Try to keep the blood off of my Dad’s seats.”

The drive to the clinic was quick but it was enough time to call Stiles to check his location. You drove with your left hand as Scott pressed your old hoodie against the wound on your right palm, keeping it from bleeding more. You swung by an alleyway and watched Stiles crawl into the backseat of the car, reeking of garbage.

“Jesus. What happened to you? You smell like shit,” Scott gagged.

“Erica happened! That bitch is ruthless,” He huffed, leaning forward to see his gaping cuts. He looked over at you to see your upper lip covered in dry blood and your hand covered by a blood-soaked cloth. “Oh my god! What happened in there?! Are you okay?”

“Derek happened. He happens to also be a ruthless bitch,” You smiled before driving towards the clinic. “Look, I know I need to stop but I had no choice but to use my powers this time. It was Derek’s pack versus us.”

“It’s okay! But you just have to be careful. We don’t know how to control it yet,” Stiles reassured.

“I get what the articles mean by magic controlling my bloodline,” You breathed, remembering the feeling it gave you. “It came so naturally. And it felt like a drug. It was like utter power and euphoria pumping through my veins. I think it could be addicting. I really need to stop using it.”

“Bro, you should’ve seen her though! Her hands were like covered in this black mist, dude. She beat the living hell out of Erica,” Scott looked back smiling. “She was like a jujitsu master before her hands started smoking. Then she just knocked Erica into the ice smoothing machine and knocked her out without even touching her!”

“Damn,” Stiles’ brows raised, he was impressed. “What happened to her hand?”

“Derek knocked Scott to the ground and held him by the throat with his foot,” You began to explain before Scott chimed in with excitement.

“Y/N sliced her hand open with Boyd’s keys, dude. Then she came up behind Derek and grabbed his face, smearing her blood all over him!” He all but shouted. “It was awesome!”

“Yeah, except for the part where it didn’t phase him and he flipped me over his shoulder,” You mumbled. “My back feels like it got snapped in half now that the adrenaline is going away.”

“Wait, it didn’t phase him?!” Stiles’ jaw dropped. “How?! That shit knocked Scott on his ass with just the fumes or whatever!”

“He wiped his face with this like silk cloth. Scott thinks it has to do with that. I feel like it was because I over-exerted my powers fighting. Who knows,” You shrugged, pulling into the vet clinic’s parking lot. You all got out and proceeded to walk in. “It’s not like we can test it. Scott’s basically immune to my blood now.”

“God, why isn’t this thing healing..” Scott winced as he walked beside you.

“Because it came from an alpha. And that’s not true, Y/N,” Deaton’s voice echoed as he saw the three of you walk in. You froze, how did he know? “The blood of a Delvoux can help cure those she’s bonded with. The women in your family were well known to join werewolf packs as an alliance. They protected your ancestors and your ancestors healed them in return. All it took was love and trust. Mixing the blood of a bonded werewolf with your own can heal you too. Physically and mentally.”

“You know?” You muttered, making him smile. “How?”

“I know everything about this town,” Deaton shrugged. “We have a lot to talk about. I wanna show you something. But before I do, unwrap your hand and rub it on Scott’s wounds. I have to warn you, it’ll burn.”

You nodded, hesitantly taking the hoodie off of your hand as Scott lifted his shirt. You looked up at him as if to ask for permission; he nodded. You placed your bloody hand on the beginning of the top gash. You removed your hand across every gash, feeling a warm sensation in your hand.

“Oh, that’s not too bad!” You smiled as you pulled away.

The second your hand left his final scratch, you felt it. Both you and Scott screamed in pain, feeling as if you were being branded. You held your wrist and fell to your knees, clenching your eyes in midst of the blistering pain. And just as quick as it appeared, it went away. “Fuck, remind me never to do that again.”

“Agreed,” Scott said, trying to catch his breath.

“How do you feel?” Deaton chuckled.

“Like I just placed my hand on a stove,” You looked down at your hand. All that was left from the wound was the dried blood where the hash previously laid.

“Mentally. How do you feel?”

You took a moment to realize that your head suddenly felt light. The anxiety, the anger that boiled deep within you, the darkness that loomed in your mind- it was gone. Your eyes widened at the silence in your head. You didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten until it was gone. It snuck up on you, eating at your mind silently and subtly. The gravity of the situation finally sank in; you were well on your way to insanity before that moment.

“Holy shit,” You whispered. “It’s gone.”

“Come with me,” Deaton’s tone darkened before he led you to the back room. Before you laid a corpse, slashed through like he’d been through a human cheese grinder. “I think we better have that talk now.”

EPISODE FOUR ->

———

As always, please let me know what you think of this! I love love love to hear from you guys :) Plz like and/or reblog, it really helps me out! Comment or DM if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

AHHH, I’M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE WITH SEASON TWO! not me avoiding all of my responsibilities to write this shit 😀 but i literally love witchy y/n. and i love y/n and stiles’ relationship. poor babies just wanna lose their damn v card but i won’t let them 😭🤚🏽

@okay-j-hannah @mitchloveswriting @itscheybaby @cevans-winchester @moon-child @rrrogertaylor @janalustare @loveangelic69 @angelxfics @blueberry-birdie @rebelbagel @fandoms-fandoms-everywhere99 @ifilwtmfc @dianewowslt @aloha-lush @crockercorpbakers @taysirene @take-me-to-ny @captainfrisbee @darkenwolfie @stilesbxtch @youaintabadbitchyoujustabitch @raynelbabe @michellebarista @chervbs @lovingchildperson @littleboysmile @mushroomroyal l @luvforstiles @naynay2319 @xannaelizx @igotmajordaddyissues @andrew-garfield-is-my-mj @stephhevring

[mirror-juliet]

Kinked out of bed-Yeosang and Yunho smut

Holy fuck, as i was writing this i got inspiration for three more poly chapters. This is the fucking gateway chapter right here folks XD

So i've made this chapter for two reasons 1) I was involved in a thirst ask and was asked to make it into a chapter. I also got one of my favorite writers to follow me! Thank you @vocalyunho

2) I've been wanting to make a poly au with ateez for a while now, inspired by @atotheteeny   so this is dedicated to both of them. I love you guys. I didn't go over this other than to make sure there were no spelling errors. So kinda unedited but i trust myself enough

warnings: Heavy fucking, dirty talk, nsfw with a few other members but you only have sex with the two listed in the title. Oral sex (Male and female receiving) Fingering, light mentions of sounding-not too much, good cop bad cop, angry sex, Teasing, the word fuck is the staple of this oneshot, Very unprotected sex (Wrap before you tap) Both holes fucking. (I probably forgot a few)

I got very self indulgent with this, i hope you enjoy~

Word count: 7000 words cause i got carried away.

This morning definitely isn't the best one you've woken up to. The floor isn't the best place to end up on, you've found. The reason as to why you're on the floor now is in your former spot on the bed next to Yunho. You aren't mad that Yeosang decided to worm his way into you and Yunho's night together at three am, he was warm to cuddle against but that mindset changed about five minutes ago when he literally kicked you out of the bed. Now the two of them are cuddling together. Both of them will feel your wrath today.

Downstairs the kitchen is already alive with Seonghwa cooking breakfast, the smell of kimchi rice already filling the air. Your arms wrap around his busy form. "I need help daddy." He rests a hand over yours. "I was wondering when you would wake up. What happened?" How did he- "I saw Yeosang in the bed when i went to check on you earlier. He looked like he was about to push you away from Yunho, let me guess; he kicked you out of bed?" you huff into his back. "Why didn't you take me to your room, or wake me up?" Seonghwa shrugs and flips the pan. "I guess i wanted to see you fired up, you're really sexy when you are." He still didn't tell you if he would help you or not. The both of you sway in place.

"So will you help me?" Small fingers prod into his sides hard enough to make him do his awkward laugh. "If you tell me what you plan on doing i could maybe help you."

"I wanna tease them! So will you help me and tell the others?" Honestly, it's like pulling teeth to get help from him. "If you go wake the others up before breakfast gets cold, yes." A giggle erupts from you as you make your way towards the stairs. "If......." There it is, the damn catch. You do a 180 to look at him, leaning against the counter with a shit-eating grin  on his face. "You let me use the chastity belt on you." A small grimace forms on your face, the bottom of your stomach tossing however.  "Deal." "And..." "Oh what now?"

He starts to pout at you. "Wheres my kiss?" Oh, how could you have forgotten. Seonghwa pulls you into the kiss before you get completely to his spot, a light sound coming from him that could easily grow into a moan. He was already aroused by the idea of using the belt on you, seeing you in your panties setting him off even more. A smacking noise pulls your lips apart as you pull away from him giggling. "I have to go get them up Hwa, I'll come back down soon." Seonghwa reluctantly lets go of you but not before leaving one last peck on your lips.

The first few rooms were the easy ones to get up, Jongho ad Hongjoong were already awake. Then you arrived at San's room where you hear noises on the inside making you hesitate before opening the door. Whats the worst he could be doing, Masturbating?

"San~ faster~" Your breath catches in your throat. Wooyoung takes notice of you, quickly pushing San off of him. Though his dick is still in San's hand. "Hwa has breakfast done. But you two just come down when you're ready. No need to stop, just finish up-" You break out in laughter, you should have listened to the door better. Hopefully Mingi isn't too pre occupied. "Baby?" You gently call out, the light from the hallway illuminates his body enough to show him sprawled out on the bed; his boxers just barley hanging on his leg. It's such a cute habit of his, though it does have you entertaining certain activities in the morning. His eyes gently peel open once you start to shake him, he grabs your hand and pulls you into his chest and rolling over. "No baby, we gotta get up." Mingi lets out raspy giggles as you kiss over his cheeks, unable to get away from you. God he was so attractive in the morning. You almost don't want to leave the bed. "Stay with me." Dear sweet Jesus take me now. "I cant, Hwa has breakfast ready. So please get dressed and go down for me?" He lets out a sleepy "Okay" ad lets you on your way. In the hallway you pass Wooyoung who's hair is even more frazzled than when you saw him, his curls bouncing with each step.

In Yunho's bedroom you rip the blankets off of them but it's only enough to stir them. You take in their forms, wondering how you can piss them off today. Well, you have to start somewhere; you flick on the lights to their highest setting. Yeosang's eyes open up to glare at the lights bothering him. Throwing yourself in between them is enough to startle Yunho awake enough for you to bug. "Good morning sleepy heads! It's time to get up because Hwa made breakfast."

"But i want you for breakfast." Yunho grabs you by the waist, kissing the marks he left on your neck last night. You push him off, bouncing off the bed. It leaves him confused and adorable as hell in his morning blush state. "Hurry up now boys, or we'll eat without you." Both of them take in the sight of you dawned in Yunho's over sized shirt and the pink lacy underwear peaking out from underneath. You wiggle your hips for good measure, padding out of the room soon as you do. The other six of your boyfriends are already in the kitchen eating the delicious breakfast Hwa made. "Thank you for breakfast daddy." You give seonghwa a kiss as he hands you a plate. Mingi pulls you into his lap, resting his head on your shoulder. "Feed me?" His hands wrap around your waist not waiting for you answer.

You don't notice the blonde next to you until ne nuzzles into the side of your face. He always does this when he wants a kiss. All you do is ignore him and continue to feed the red head under you. Yeosang grumbles something under his breath and kisses you on the cheek. Everyone continues the conversation like nothing's wrong, after breakfast you take everyone's plate and giving them kisses. Except Yunho and Yeosang, you don't even take their plates. "Oh! I'm so sorry i forgot." They both give you the okay, but their tones say otherwise. One you're done with the dishes you follow everyone into the living room. Wooyoung grabs you by wrist and pulls you into his lap. He kisses and licks up your neck, making you sigh in content, what makes it even better is Yunho setting right beside you two and Wooyoung keeps batting his hands away every time he tries to help out. Hwa must have already informed everyone on the plan for today. "Hmm" Wooyoung grinds into you and tugs at your shirt.

"Did you get this out of Mingi's closet? It's far too big to be yours."  It's obviously Yunho's shirt on you , he was wearing it before he whisked you away to his room, starting your night of pleasure. Everyone knows it's his shirt on you. "It's mine." Speak of the devil, Yunho looks at Wooyoung in disbelief. "Oh sorry,  guess I've never noticed you wearing it." Even though that's the exact shirt Woo complimented him on yesterday, but good try baby. Woo uses a condescending tone, he dismisses the other man without a second though to pull you into him more. He slips his hand in between your thighs to palm your covered crotch. Perhaps he was trying to rile Yunho up by making you whine so close to his lap, or maybe he was just trying to get back at you for this morning but he stops his movements and just rests his hand on your pussy. No one in the room takes notice of you beside Yunho who can't take his eyes off of Woo who now has his other hand up your shirt to cup your boob.

Yunho's breathing hitches when he watches San also crawl into Wooyoung's lap, pressing his chest against yours. He takes your lips in his own, a hand slipping down past your lacy underwear, the ones that Yunho had bought for you. Something in Yunho sparks up as he see's San hand in your panties. Because he had bought those so he could be the one to slip his fingers past them, to pull them off your body; Not san. "You did such a good job picking these out for us baby doll." Sn forces you to rut against his hand, he needs you to crave more of his touches. "It's so easy to slip fingers past them. Oh look at her, she's whining for more. Look at her Yunho~" He grabs your face and turning it to Yunho, pressing his cheek against yours. "Doesn't she look so good for me? I bet she wouldn't mind me ripping these off right here in front o everyone. Wouldn't you Y/n?" The only response you give is a mewl, San takes this as a chance to slip two fingers up into you to curl. You make the most beautiful face towards Yunho but it isn't because he's making you feel good. He storms up out of the room, clearly having a flustered friend in his pocket he should calm down.

San kisses you hard, shoving his tongue into your mouth making sure he remembers you correctly. He takes his fingers out of you and replaces his tongue with them. "Now be a good girl and clean them off." He's turned himself on too much, his eyes now dark and the look of corruption in his eyes. He wants nothing more than to be able to bend you to his every will right now. Your tongue swirls around his fingers, saliva dripping out the corners of your mouth. Wooyoung makes sure he isn't forgotten by gently pressing kisses to your shoulder blades that have been exposed due to the shirt shifting, he still molds your breast like a clump of clay in his hand. You pop off of San's fingers watching as he takes them into his mouth to collect the saliva you left behind. He slips off of Woo's knees into the spot Yunho used to be.

Across the room Yeosang looks at you in utter shock and something else you can't quite read. What the fuck did you three just do that you're able to convert back to your bubbly selves so quickly? A second ago San was all but mounting you and now it looks like you're a bunch of church kids getting ready for worship. He changes his mind as you look at him with dark eyes, eye fucking him on the spot.  "Well i think i'm going to go grab a shower." Yeosang stands up almost too quickly and latching himself to your waist. "How about i join you?" He whispers in your ear, pulling your ass to rest on his crotch. Looks like your little Yeosang has a thing for live action porn. "No i'm fine Sangie." You whip around and give him the most innocent smile ever, one that you only show Seonghwa. As you leave Yeosang can't help but feel embarrassed in front of everyone, his hard on visible to all eyes.

By the bathroom door you wait and watch for Yeosang to come up the stairs. Phase two of your plan commencing as you see him turn the corner. You slip back in the shower and start your act. "Augh~ Yeosaaaang!" The footsteps stop. "Oh fuck Sangie I love your fingers so much!" The footsteps now come closer to the bathroom. "Y/n?.....Are you okay?" Perfect, he grabbed the bait. "Yea Sangie, did you need something?" Your voice is back to normal. "Oh, no i just thought i heard you crying. I love you."

"I love you too!" He begins to walk away. "Yeosang i love your tongue on my pussy! God i want your cock" You make sure to say it very dramatically this time. The knocking on the door is almost immediate. "Y/n are you sure you're okay. Can i come in for a second?" He sounds so confused and worried, right where you want him. "Sangie i told you 'm fine." You laugh at him, your voice doing a 180 again. "Can i just please come in for a second?" You wrap a towel around yourself and open the door, showing him your wet hair and running water. "Yes?" Your voice feigns annoyance, watching him grow pink in the face. "I-i'm sorry. I'll be on my way then. Thank you." He walks off and enters his room, shutting it with more force than intended. This plan of your's is growing beautifully.  

**************

"Yea i'm good Umma, How's Noona doing?" Jongho pokes your side, motioning to Yeosang on the phone. You give him a little high five and a kiss, breaking up your little cuddle session to give Yeosang a warm hug; witch he returns with his free arm. Meanwhile your small hand creeps down to the back of his waistband, shimmying their way to the front. He gives you a warning glance, his blonde locks falling into his face and making him even more tempting. How rude of him to look at you so coldly, you counter his face by giving him a warm and smiley one. Your hands slip past his jeans and underwear, his Adams apple bobs hard to keep his sounds from going into his poor mother's ear. Your delicate fingers swipe over the slit of his cock, one of your nails poking into it. A loud whine leaves him. "I just stubbed my toe is all, i'm fine." he covers his next moan with a laugh, your nail sliding further in until it reaches your nail bed, his breaking point. "Hey, i actually have to go. Yea no, i know i just got called to a last minute meeting. Thank you for calling Umma. I love you, tell dad for me?" Never in his life has he ended a call so fast, his hand trapping yours in place by your wrist. "What the fuck are you doing Y/n?" He forces your other hand in his pants, not caring about the boy mere feet from him. "What do you mean Sangie?" Your voice is angelic, it pisses him off that you can keep your composure so easily. Your phone in your back pocket buzzes, Yeosang's eyes grow to the size of dinner plates. You rip both of your hands out of his pants, he doubles over and lets out a strangled cry. If only he knew the culprit for his pain is Jongho who texted you winky faces. You saunter back over to him to resume your movie spooning session, Yeosang drags himself to the couch opposite of you glaring, wide eyed, mouth agape and breathing erratic. He runs a hand through his hair to ground him back into reality.

After about five minutes when he looks somewhat normal again, his eyes light up once you sit on his lap, grinding your hips against his. He made the mistake of letting you get away before, he won't make it again. Sangie keeps your hips on him as he grinds you into him harder and faster planning to get off on your clothed heat. He rests his head on your shoulder to moan into your ear. "God, you little sphinx. Why do you do this to me?" Not a question he expects you to answer, instead moaning into you harder.

The front door opens, startling him enough for you to slip out of his grip, bouncing over to Yunho and Seonghwa who just game back from the store, grocery bags in hands. You can hear Yeosang's groan of frustration from the living room, soon followed by Jongho's string of laughter. The groceries in Yunho's hands are quickly forgotten once you start to pull him away. "C'mon Yunho, i wanna play a game with you~" He's confused but his male hormones easily allow you to guide him to his room where you push him onto the bed, ripping his shirt off in the process. He helps you pull off your pants, his shirt falling over your panties. "God i love these panties." Yunho pushes the shirt up to show off your belly as you crawl over his crotch, beginning to unbutton his pants. He leans back on his forearms as he pulls you into a desperate kiss. "I've been wanting to rip them off of you all day." You let him throw you under him, shoving his large hands up your shirt. "Is this why you've been teasing me all day, You wanted this too?" His tongue is hot in his open mouthed kisses on your belly.  "Just didn't get enough last night, did you?" He presses down on your belly. "Were you craving my cock again?" He presses harder. "Were you wanting it to bulge out your stomach right here cause you're just so fucking small for my cock to go anywhere else." His hand presses harder, eliciting a moan from you. "Look at you, i haven't even touched your pussy and you're already moaning. Why is that? Is it because of my hand?" The pressure on your stomach almost becomes painful, a whimper leaving.

"Sangieeee~" The last motion of your plan set and it's working out beautifully. Yunho stops touching you, instead looking at you in shock. "What did you say?" He asks in a tone that has you wishing you never called out your other boyfriends' name. "Yunh-" "What game are you playing Kitten?" Both of you look to the doorway that has Yeosang leaning against it angrily. The man on top of you looks from him to you. "What is he talking about?" Yeosang shuts the door roughly. "Look back on today Yunho, why is it that she's only been teasing us?" Yunho keeps his eyes on you to think. "Ate breakfast when she 'Forgot' to take our plates and give us a kiss, that show beside you that her, Wooyoung and San put on. When she was taking a shower she was calling out my name in there, and right before you got home she was about to let me use her to get off on the couch. I came up here to see what she was doing only to find her calling out my name instead of yours. So tell us kitten, what did we do so wrong to make you treat us so coldly." He sits next to you and Yunho on the bed, holding your head by your chin. "Answer me. Now." You don't, only pulling him into a kiss which he gladly takes part in then tightening his grip and ripping you off of him. "That isn't an answer kitten." His glare is so cold, you hide in the crevice of Yunho's shoulder, wrapping your limbs around his body. "So that's how you're gonna be huh?" Before you can register it, you're sitting upright and leaning against Yeosang's chest against the headboard. Yeosang pulls you away from Yunho to be more against him, you sit in between his legs as he reaches his hands up your shirt to play with your breasts. "Isn't this how Woo does it kitten, just how you like it." Yunho rests on his calves, pulling your legs to rest over his hips to expose your core to him. He rubs on the outsides of your thighs. You respond to Yeosang's touches by melting into him and reaching up to play with his hair. Yunho takes notice and pulls your fingers out of his blonde locks. He begins kissing your knuckles, traveling up your arm as he continues. "Hmm" Your eyes close in bliss. Your plan couldn't have been so bad to have two gorgeous men's hands on you like this.

"I'm so glad to see you enjoying yourself Kitten, now will you tell us what's upsetting you?" Yeosang's voice tickles your ear as he husks into it. Again, you don't answer him. He places light kisses to your neck. "Augh!" You squeeze Yunho's hand hard, feeling teeth indents from Yeosang's fang-like canines that refuse to let go of the skin of your neck. No matter how hard you whimper and squirm underneath him, he refuses to let go; Yunho's hand taking hard abuse. You try to pull into Yunho when Yeosang holds you in place with his knee's squeezing around your hips, his hands holding your chest in a painful grip. "Y-Yeosang...It hurts!" Your hands now unable to move, restricted by Yunho. "Just tell us what's wrong Y/n. Please? we want to make you feel better. I'll make him stop if you do~" Yunho's sweet words are tempting but your resolve is much stronger than the jaw of your boyfriend. You refuse to tell them why you've been a brat all day. "It hurt when you pulled your hands out of my pants, this is your punishment kitten."

"AH!" He clamps down on the other side of your neck, aiming for the crook, it sting is far worse now that he's hit a tendon. "That was stupid of you baby. You probably made Yeosang's cock hurt when you left him. Don't forget i should be punishing you too~" You brace yourself as Yunho draws his face closer to the fresh bite marks Sangie left, letting out a cry of relief as you feel his hot moisture of his tongue rub over the track marks. He relaxes your muscles with every lap, sucking on the spot just above the bite marks.

You can't deny the moisture that pools between your thighs as they continue. Yunho's grip is hard as you try to pull your hands away from his. You try to wiggle away harder, this predicament any other time would be heaven if not for the heavy teasing that might actually snap their ego's more. Now you want to tease them more, seeing how far you can test your luck and the rope they keep letting out for you to tug on. They only react harder with their mouths, whines and whimpers leaving your own. You grind against Yunho's crotch, your back hitting lightly against Yeosang. He rips his hand out of your shirt and grabs your jaw, turning it so your ear is against his mouth. "Stop fighting, right fucking now." Or what? What will he really do? You grind your ass into him, your back hitting against his chest rather hard.

Yeosang pushes Yunho off of you, almost off the bed. He pulls your shirt over your head, pushing you down and holding you there by his knee in the small of your back. "No, i want her to see this." Yunho gently pulls the shirt over Sangie's head, he helps flip you over onto your back, Yeosang replacing his knee on your stomach with his shin resting in between your legs. He made sure to place your hands behind your back before pinning you. "I swear to god if your hands move from behind your back i promise you i will make it to where no one in this house will give you an orgasm for months." Only when you nod your head does Yunho puts his hands back on the younger's chest. They lean in above you, beginning to kiss one another.

The wight on your stomach gets heavier as their tongues get involved with one another. It's sexy as hell, Yunho's shirt must have gotten lost in the mix up because Yeosang licks a stripe up his bare chest as he works on unbuttoning his pants. You breathe in deeply as Yeosang removes his leg from you. "Sit up straight on your knee's, spread them." It would be stupid of you not to obey him and heed his warning. Yeosang would be able to fulfill it before the night is over, he's damn good at charming people into doing his bidding. You climb off the bed and rest your knee's on the pillow Yunho had dragged off his bed for you. "Your marks are so pretty baby, me and Sangie did such a good job of coloring you in. Well- I guess we've only colored the outside of you so far." Yunho laughs at his own Joke, his tone changing too fast for your liking. "Don't worry, we'll fix that soon." Even though his tone changed, somehow he manages to make his words sound comforting. "Now be a good Kitty and make Yunho feel good." Yeosang drags you to Yunho's half erect member by your hair. You take hold of it in your hands, it's quite large for only being half hard. Your fingers make quick work to pump him a few times to get the rest of him up and running. Yeosang's harsh fingers are replaced by Yunho's gentle ones. "Open up for me baby~" He coaxes, helping you slide himself into your mouth, understanding of it's size. Your tongue flattens as much  as it can, caressing the long under-vein as his head makes it's way to the back of your throat. Once it reaches your uvula you tap his thigh on his thigh telling him he's deep enough. He's only one third in your mouth but your jaw is already sore. "Baby, cant you take even a little mor- AISH!" Your jaw clamps down hard on Yunho as Yeosang lands a hard smack to your ass. Yunho wiggles his thumbs into the corners of your mouth to open your jaw faster. He steps back and nurses his hurt dick. "I'm so sorry Yunho-ah, i wasn't expecting Sangie to sm-ACK!" He laid another to you. "I told you to spread your legs, do as i say." He spreads them for you, your knee's just barley on the pillow still.

"AH!" Another hard slap, but you did as he said, so why? "That was for biting Yunho, better suck his dick good to make up for it." Yeosang leaves your side again, Yunho in front of you once again smiling like you didn't almost clamp off his most prized possession. You take it in your hands, licking the slit in an apology before wrapping your lips around the head; doing your best to fit it in your mouth again. He still helps you until you take the rest of him in your hands, what wont fit in your mouth. "Your mouth is so nice baby~" He holds your hair gently as he rocks his hips into your mouth.  "Oh god baby, you're always so nice to me. Always so willing to droll around my thick cock in that little mouth of yours O-Oh just like that." You squeeze the base of him and suck as you bob back and forth. "Don't forget this is a punishment whore." You whimper on Yunho's dick as Yeosang drags his tongue along your folds. You didn't realize he had slipped in between your legs on the pillow. Did Yunho put the pillow down for you or him?

Your focus is lost on Yunho as Yeosang flicks his tongue inside you. Avoiding where you want him most. "Don't forget about me now Baby." Yunho tightens his grip on your hair, moving you for him. "Aww, it's okay baby, i'm not mad. Sangie must be making you feel too good Isn't that right?" You nod your head, not really listening to his words, They're already making your head feel fuzzy and you know you're no where near started. You and Yunho moan in unison as Yeosang slips a finger inside you, the vibrations traveling to his dick. Your hips rock into Yeosang, you feel his lips curve into a smile. He flicks his tongue faster, digging his free hand into your ass.

You gag on Yunho, swallowing hard and coughing. Yunho's hips buck violently and you watch him smirk deliciously. "Relax your throat for me baby...C'mon you can do it, just tap out if you need to." He senses your foggy brain, willing to help you pleasure him as Yeosang continues to tease your hole. It clenches tightly every time he slips his fingers out and rub it against your folds. You relax your throat the best you can, Holding onto Yunho's thighs for support. Once you give him the okay he begins the torture against your windpipe. He forces his cock down your throat enough to hit the back of it, his pelvic bone only a few inches away from your nose. He lets out higher pitched moans and grunts, making sure to keep constant eye contact with you. "God damned baby girl-Oh shit. Fucking shit!" Yunho now has both of your hands against your head, abusing your mouth, imagining it as the hole Yeosang is taking. Said man stops his actions to look up and watch Yunho's dick disappear in your mouth almost as soon as it pulls out. Right now is the perfect time for him to make you go crazy. Without warning Yeosang shoves three fingers inside of you, wrapping his lips around your clit. All the new stimulation drives you into a frenzy of moans and whines. If Yunho didn't have his dick in your mouth, you're sure you would be screaming. "Oh fuck i'm gonna cum!" Yunho's hips begin to falter. "Gonna make you swallow all of it. All of my fucking cream down your goddamned throat.--God you're gonna thank me so m-u-uuch" Ribbons of his semen spurt down your throat, you're unable to even taste it before it begins to fill your stomach, You're hitting on his thighs harshly; desperate for any intake of air. He quickly pulls out for you to cough up cum and gasp-nearly sucking it down your windpipe as you heave. Your body collapses, Yeosang still strong in his work. "Hmmmmma~" Your nails dig into the floor as Yeosang bites on your clit. Yunho comes in front of you to scoop up your torso and lean it against his chest as you sob in pleasure.

You let out a cry when Yeosang pulls away from you. You were so close to bursting the balloon in your abdomen too. Yunho rubs your back to help you come down from the cliff you were so close to jumping off of. "Did you think he was actually going to let you cum?" He leans back to lift your head up by two fingers.  "You really are a dumb slut." He says it with a smile, rubbing your noses together. Yunho lifts you up and puts you in the middle of his bed, giving you a kiss before bending down to place kisses on your lower lips. "Yunho please....S-sensitive." You groan as he puts two fingers inside you, curling them. "I know." Another kiss right above your clit, then on your inner thigh where he starts to suck a hickey into it. "Watch Yeosang and maybe i'll let you cum on my fingers." You quickly obey, wanting to cum so badly. You watch Yeosang as he leans his back up against the door, His member in his hand, lube in the other as he jerks himself off rapidly.His blonde baby mullet sticking to his forehead. He holds the lube up high, letting it fall down his stomach onto his hands where it rubs into his dick. Yeosang always loves to be messy while jerking off, it makes him get off faster.

Yunho slips out his fingers and shows them to you, they're a transparent creamy color, coating his fingers thickly. "Look how naughty our baby girl is."

"Oh Shiit." Instead of putting his fingers in your mouth like you thought he would, he pushes them into your asshole. Your hand wraps around his wrist that's in your asshole, trying to slow his thrusting down. "It's gonna be hard for you to take me if you don't let me prep you first baby. But maybe you want it to hurt." He puts two more fingers in and your pull your cheeks apart to help fit them better, tears falling past the corners of your eyes.

"Fuck Yunho, bring her over here. I can't wait anymore." Yeosang moans out, frustrated dick in his hand. Yunho picks you up by your hips, your back resting against his chest as he opens your legs up, Yeosang putting some lube on his dick for him to slide into your tight ass. Your fingers dig into your worn skin at the stretch. You feel so full by the time he bottoms out to his balls inside you. Looking at Yeosang with greediness in your eyes, your head all but lolls to the side as you struggle to breath evenly.

"Yeosang.....Please fuck me. He wont let me feel good until you do. Please sink your cock into me." Yeosang is swift to fulfill your wishes, grunting as he quickly grinds your hips together. Your body shivers as he pours the lube on your stomach and breasts to match his own slicked up form. His hands rub the lube into your skin, that's when you notice it's oil based, it's gonna be a bitch to wash off later. You grip on his forearms once Yunho begins to move and bring pain to your back end. It's been quite a while since you've accommodated anyone back there. Yeosang's thrusts aren't gentle themselves, and he isn't trying to be. Shoving himself into your tight hole over and over, pushing your knees up against Yunho's chest. "Fuck, you tight bitch. How the fuck did...Yunho not stretch you out last night~" Yeosang says between thrusts.

"Our girl recovers fast Sangie, didn't you know?" Yunho then giggles. "You probably forgot since it's been so long since she's let you." That pissed Yeosang off more, making him thrust harder.

"Fuck both...of you.." A smirk comes to your face. "You are though Sangie." He grabs your face and makes you look at him. "Don't get smart with me, whore." He then spits into your mouth, covering it so you cant spit it out. "Swallow it, like the slut you are." You swallow it, as he's making it hard to breathe. "Good girl." You moan hard at that, melting into Yunho.

"I think she likes that." Yunho lifts your face up gently. "Don't you baby~ Such a good Baby~" You nod through your moan this time. "I do Yunho, i really do." You lock your lips with his, tangling your hand in his hair. "Fuck i'm gonna cum Yunho." You moan into his mouth, but then you whine as Yeosang pulls out completely. "No you aren't. You won't cum until i make you." Yeosang growls. Your whines become more frequent "Yunho~ Please let me cum." He isn't listening, more focused on slowing down his thrusts and holding you up. Yunho then slips back in and continues his treatment until you're clenching around him and he pulls out again.

"Sangie. Please." He pushes back into your cunt and just sits there. "No." is all he says. Yunho however is busy changing the speed of his thrusts, going as fast as he can muster then slowing down to almost nothing. He's edging himself.

"Yunho how close are you?" Yeosang asks. He lets out a groan, breathing heavy in your ear. "I....Have to...soon." He leans against your head, Yeosang brings him into a kiss. "Can you let me edge her three more times. Can you hold out till then?" His tone is so much more sweet than when he talks to you. You feel Yunho nod against you, his thrusts stopping completely.

"Are you glad you've made Yunho a mess slut? Proud of your work?" His fast thrust start up again. you hold onto his shoulders so he cant slip too far away, taking advantage of the fact that Yunho cant pull your arms back. "Answer me!" Yeosang thrusts in a way that it's painful. "Yes! I'm proud. I'm a proud little slut." Yunho's grip on you isn't as strong anymore and you grind against Yeosang. He has to pull out so he doesn't loose focus and he slaps you across the face.

"Don't do that again or else you won't cum at all." Your eyes go wide, understanding his threat loud and clear. He's true to his word he promised Yunho, he edges you twice before he brings Yunho into a last heated kiss. "You can work yourself back Up Yunho, i think she's learned her lesson." You had, you were so close to cumming, the knot in your stomach painfully swollen. You're out of breath , sweaty and fucked out of your mind. At this point you feel like you could fall asleep if not for the issue at hand, more like Yeosang's hands.

Yunho starts thrusting again, bringing the pleasurable sting to your ass once more. "Alright Whore, are you ready to scream?" You're already crying in frustration, moving your head to what feels like a nod but at this point you can't really tell.

"Yunho look, I've fucked her up enough she can't even say words. Just so cock hungry." More sobs fall past your lips and Yunho isn't too far behind from crying himself. "I'm gonna make you cum so hard." Yeosang slams his hips into yours and you can feel the bruises he's forming on your hips already. Then you feel Yunho saying things in your ear that you can't decipher other than guessing it's more praises, his hips stuttering on your ass cheeks and making them jiggle. You look down to watch Yeosang's dick slip in and out of you, you can see a bulge forming on your stomach where the both of them are pressing against each other and forcing the bump. You also see Yeosang;s pretty nails dig and scratch at your skin as they slip on the lube coating you two. The high that's approaching comes quickly, you let out strangles sobs as the dam begins to crack on them. You feel kisses on your neck and Hot liquid spilling into your ass, Yunho's grip on you getting tighter as his thrusts stop. Yeosang presses his forehead to yours. "Do it slut, Break on my cock." That skin on skin contact and comment is all it takes for the dam to break completely, liquid squirting out of your vagina and onto Yeosang's chest, all over your legs. Your arms wrap around Yeosang's neck as you sob into him, not able to form anything else with your mouth.

Yunho pulls out of you, his cum leaking out of your ass in an uncomfortable way, he transfers you into Sangie's arms and you koala yourself around him. He holds you up by your hips and takes you to the bathroom. You lazily open your eyes to see Jongho who looks worried at your state. He follows you two to the bathroom where they place you on the toilet to finish leaking out and to wipe the sweat off of you.

"Is she okay?"

Yeosang whips around, not noticing the boy following you two."She's okay. She just needs to go to the bathroom and take a shower is all." Yeosang gives you a peck to the forehead and rubs a damp cloth over your face. "Will you put a couple bottles of water and some cookies in my room?"

Jongho nods his head walking over to give you a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Yunho comes back into the bathroom with three sets of p.j's, looking in a better state than you but still worn out. He turns the water on and gets you into the shower with Yeosang's help. You can barley stand on your own, having to lean against one of them at all times while they take turns washing you and themselves off. Yunho kisses the top of your head, holding you close to his chest. "You did so good baby. Such a good job."

Yeosang kisses your back, rubbing small circles into your hips to further help calm you down. You stand in the shower until your fingers start to prune up. They help you get dressed and carry you to Yeosang's room. His sheets are much more clean to sleep on. They sit you up on the headboard and hand you a water bottle and a cookie packet.

"You can lay down after you eat a cookie and drink about half the water." Yeosang sits next to you, Yunho on the other side as you all eat the snack and down the waters. You manage to drink all of the water bottle before handing it back. You curl into each other, sandwiched in between the two of them. Yunho snuggles his head into you hair and you begin to hear him snore.

Yeosang puts your foreheads together, making sure to kiss all over your face before stopping. "Why did you decide to tease us today, i forgot to make you tell me." A cheeky smile forms over your face.

"You kicked me out of bed this morning." He looks shocked, just staring at you. "That is why you gave me blue balls all day, because i kicked you out of the bed." You nod your head, snuggling into him even more. "You're in the middle so i won't be able to now."

[commonpigeon]

why is this one 7000 word chapter taking me like 2 hours to read dear god. my academic brain has atrophied

[saelwen]

Lost in Middle-Earth

Thranduil x reader

Part1 / Part2 / Part3 / Part4 / Part5 / Part6 / Part7 / Part8

Summary: Y/n finds herself falling asleep after watching all the Lord of the rings movie on Friday night, tired after a week of studying and working. What will happen when she finds herself in the middle of a forest with orcs running after her

Warnings: just a little make out

Words:1,327

A month have passed and my relationship with Thranduil greatly improved. He was more patient with me and more gentle, every day we will to his office, where he teach me sindarin then we go take a walk in the garden and after that he goes do his King job, see if his kingdom is safe, if is there enough food for the year and other stuffs. I must say that I really am loving living in here, the people here were really nice to me, always helping me and show me how elf culture is beautiful. Tauriel was also a huge help to me, she was kind and really funny sometimes, making funny jokes about the mood of Thranduil, making us start a beautiful friendship.

I was strolling in the garden, just finish my lesson with Thranduil. Not going to lie, I'm pretty good elvish language even Thranduil was impressed with how fast I'm learning.  

I stop and look at some flowers, but one of them catch my attention. It’s was a white Lillie, it was gorgeous however it was wither. The branch had a fade color and some of his petals were start falling, I don’t know why but the more I stay staring to the flower the more I feel her dying.  

I bend down, touching the flower with one of my hands, feeling the petals under my fingers. Poor thing...i wish I could do something, I close my eyes, letting go a deep breath but suddenly a bright light came out from my hand that was touching the flower. My eyes widened and a small gasp falls from my lips, the light extinguished and the flower was looking good as new, like she was never about to die. What the hell was that??? I just stand there, looking to the flower then to my hand, still feeling it warm from what happen. DID I JUST CURE THE DAMN FLOWER?! I hear a loud gasp from behind me, I turn around and saw Thranduil standing there with wide eyes looking at me “...Amazing...” he whispers, I shot up, feeling panic running through my veins. What’s happening with my body?! I feel Thranduil hand grabbing my wrist, rubbing his thumb on my skin “Breath Y/n...It’s okay.” I do what he said, taking deeps breaths. My heart start to beat normally, my hands stopped shaking. He moves his other hand to my cheek, rubbing it softly, I look up, letting myself lose into his ocean like eyes. He starts bending his head down, closing the distance between us, crushing his lips into mine. The kiss was soft but passionate, his hand let go my wrist and move behind my neck, grabbing it softly. He starts nibble my lower lip, making me gasp, he took that as an opportunity to push his tongue inside, exploring my mouth. A moan fall from me, grabbing his robe harder for not falling on the floor as my knees were like jelly. He pulls back, letting me breath.  

He looks around and gasp, I look to him confused but that vanish as see almost a jungle around us. Various plants and flowers have grown around us, a sweet smell surrounded us from the flowers, beautiful butterfly and dragonfly flew around, little rabbits and other forest animals started appearing from the middle of the plants, then a huge white elk walks towards me, he stops and lift his head high in the air, looking more huge as his horns almost touch the tree branches. I took a step back, afraid from the beast, Thranduil put himself in front of me, protecting me. But then the elk look into my eyes and nod, bowing his head to me, then he leaves, leaving me and Thranduil shocked. What the hell was that? Thranduil looks back to me with wide eyes and a smile “You are truly amazing!” he gives me another kiss but this time more softly, I feel my face burning up as I remember the events that happen. God, we just kiss! “W..What happen? What was all that?” I shudder a bit, trying to look normal. He smiles “My dear, it seems that you have power over nature and animals. That white elf was the guardian of the forest, very wise creature. He has taken you as his Queen!” now I was speechless. I have power over nature and animals??? Fuck, so this was what Eru was talking. “I don’t know that I had this power...How I can control it? What if I hurt somebody? It seems that my power is related to my emotions.” I look to Thranduil eyes, trying not to have a panic attack again.

He pulls me to him, embracing me softly “Shhh...It’s okay. You will not hurt anybody. I will send a message to Rivendell, Lothlórien and to Mithrandir telling about your power. Maybe they could help you control it.” I nod and rest my head on his firm chest. We stay like that for a while but a small yawn escape from me, grabbing Thranduil attention “You should rest. Let me accompany you to your chambers.” I try to argue, not wanting this wonderful time with him end, but he was stubborn like I was, so we ended walking to my room.

We arrive to my door, he turns to me and grab my face with his large hands, bend down crushing his lips to mine, kissing passionate. We pull away “Rest well, My Lady.” I say a small goodbye and walk inside my room.

I close my door and run to my bed, jumping on it. A giggle falls from my lips as I think about what happen between me and Thranduil. Jesus, I feel like a teenager girl.

Well I must say that this day was the best day in my life, I discover that I have power over nature and animals, which I was a bit afraid, and me and Thranduil have kiss. He really a good kisser but that don’t surprise me since he has 7000 years of experience. I walk to the balcony and sit on the chair, letting the warm sunlight touch my skin. Cuddling into the soft pillow that was there, I relax a bit, letting my energy return.

(Thranduil P.O.V)

Sitting on my throne on the meeting room, trying to listening to my council discuss so problem about a pack of orcs wonder in the forest but all was on my mind was Y/n. Wanting to kiss those plump soft lips again.

I was surprised about her power, how nature bend to her will, like she was some kind of Istari. It’s known that some elves could interact with nature and animals but not like that. I could see the fear on her eyes as she tries to contain her power, it was obvious that she didn’t have those kinds of powers in her world. Suddenly a though made way into my mind, maybe she could cure my forest. Make Greewood alive again.

I was so distracted with Y/n that I didn’t notice my council was calling me, I shake those though away and concentrate on the meeting “My King, are you alright?” I nod and ask what he was asking me earlier, “My King, I was asking you if the mortal was going to the feast that will happen this week? I would like her to ask her if she would want come with me.” with those words, I feel my blood boiling. Who this silvan elf think it is? Y/n was too good for him “Yes, she will come, as MY guest. Well if this is all, this meeting is over.” with I leave the room. No one will have my Y/n. NO ONE!  

Hey guys!!! I’m so happy that all of you are liking this story. Here’s a new part, hope you like it. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think! XOXO

Taglist: @tigereyesf @icarus-fell-in-spring @bowtothewitch @aeryntheofficial @yes-captainstark @gwendelerynan @llama2264 @lespaceboi @crazyonesarethebest @hyppodamia

[naturepointstheway]

“Inanimate” Chapter 5

Finally, the last chapter of “Inanimate”! I would especially like feedback on the first part with Agathe and the prince and Adam, as it seems too...quick. So it’d be awesome to get feedback on that before I put it on AO3 and ff.net. Otherwise, enjoy the final installment in this fic! Make sure you have a spot of time, as it’s just over 7000 words!

Tagging @morgaine2005 @chooseandact 

Inanimate - Chapter Five

He isn’t sure if she is mocking him with her cool greeting, but either way, he grips on tighter to Belle’s hand, as though to give him strength to help him hold his temper at bay. He could control his temper far better now than before, but damn if there were moments like now where it threatened to rip loose out of him.

I can’t lose my temper now, not if I want my servants free again.

He has to control his temper, has to show he’s worthy of being listened to this time. Prove that he has changed for the better, that he is no longer the selfish and tempestuous man he used to be before the curse was laid upon the castle.

For all the thoughts that are whirling through his head right now in search of anything, anything to say to this Enchantress, he only manages a single word.

“Why?”

The enchantress tilted her head at the question, but did not dignify him with an answer.

“Why?” he demanded again, drawing to full height, “Why save me and not my servants? The Italian musicians?”

“I saw Belle loved you. I heard her confession of love as I watched by the petal-less rose.”

His world spun for a moment, even in the midst of his indignation.

It had fallen. The last petal had fallen.

“Adam?”

Belle’s arm had come around his waist, supporting him. He took a deep breath, steeling his shoulders, his will, eyes never wavering from the Enchantress’s.

“If you could save me even after the last petal had fallen, then why not the servants? If you could bring me back to full human form, then why not them?”

“But you love Belle.”

Of course I love Belle! Why—

Then Belle said it, her voice angry and somehow betrayed at the same time.

“Romantic love isn’t the only kind of love worthy of recognition, Agathe!”

Agathe tilted her head, looking over at Belle now. “Isn’t it the most important to humankind?”

This time, both Belle and Adam spoke the same word, emphatic in its single sound, firm and quietly furious.

“No.”

“The first love anyone knows when they’re born, Agathe,” Belle began, her voice hard and yet compassionate at the same time, “Is that of a family’s love. Do you not understand that?”

I understand, Adam thought, recalling when he had seen Belle at her most vulnerable moment when she discovered what had happened to her mother.

“She’s right,” Adam agreed, holding her closer to him, “It is a mother’s love—is that love any less or more worthy than romance?”

“And a—” Belle stopped herself midsentence, her eyes locking with his, shining with tears, “A good father’s love.”

He dropped a quick, devoted kiss on the top of her head, sure that it was impossible to have fallen even more in love with her than before.

“Yes, Belle,” he murmured, and letting her go, he stepped toward the Enchantress, voice shaking with hidden fury. “Would you dare look me in the eyes and say my love for my dear, departed mother is unworthy? Say it, Agathe. Say it. Tell me that my mother’s, and Belle’s mother and father’s love is less important than romantic love. Say it!”

“Why do you wish me to say it?”

“Because you clearly believe it to be so.” His words grew in volume, untethered in their indignation, “Tell me if I’m wrong, but do you believe the love of friends and family insignificant in the presence of romantic love?” Adam’s glare is hot iron, burning into her eyes as he continued. “Will you refuse to acknowledge the pain you must know I’m going through right now, knowing my friends—who were as close as family—are gone, forever, and knowing every hour of every day since that I am at fault for it too.”

“He’s right,” Belle agreed, “He loved his servants, and his servants loved him in return, despite his flaws.”

“He was spoilt, selfish, and unkind.”

“So you cursed him for being human? You cursed the servants for simply not doing anything?” Belle demanded. “What could they have done against a king?”

“More,” the Enchantress responded, face still neutral as ever, but the prince is sure he saw a flash of uncertainty in her eyes.

“They were servants,” the prince argued, “They had jobs at stake! If they disobeyed the king, even in good intentions, they would have been fired…or worse.” He swallowed, trying not to imagine all the gruesome ways his father could have executed the servants before his own eyes as a child—and his father would have made damn sure he witnessed every second of it. “If they ever were at fault, then it was for wanting to keep their jobs at the castle and their own goddamn lives at worst. And thank God for that—because now I know how lifeless the castle is without them. No laughter, no love, no warmth. Why?”

His heart nearly stopped mid-step as another terrible thought hit him.

The Enchantress as good as executed them and left their remains for me to find.

Of all the things his father could have done, now he knew none would have been as graphic as any execution the Enchantress could—and had—come up with.

“And why me and my household in particular? Why not any one of hundreds of others out there who possess no hearts?”

“Remember Gaston?” Belle cut in, “Or the other villagers who made it known how they felt about me? Why not them?”

“They are not the rulers of a village.” Agathe said, “They did not tax the poor to fill their house with grandeur.”

Adam’s shoulders sagged. “Actions I look back upon and regret.”

“They showed more compassion than the prince had to an old beggar woman—”

“Gaston would never have shown you the least of compassion, let alone take you in to their home! Agathe, many in the village saw you as just “that old spinster”.” Belle argued, “How are they any different than how the prince had been before you turned him into a Beast?”

“They do not have riches to tax their people with, as princes and nobles do.”

Belle shook her head. “You can be poor and still a terrible person, Agathe. Have you not seen how the village treated me, aside from the very few who treated me well? For all the people there, it was a lonely village. Almost as lonely as the prince’s castle.”

Now even lonelier with the loss of my servants.

“I have my own reasons for why I did what I had to do,” the Enchantress said, “I only wished to warn the Prince if he doesn’t change, worse would be to come.”

“Like what?” Adam demanded.

She simply turned unreadable eyes on him. “France is changing, and her monarchy and nobility will soon be in fatal straits. You are one of the few who still had an inkling of warmth in his heart. Forgotten too long, but then remembered in time.”

“What is it that you see changing?”

“It is not for me to reveal what the future will hold. This is all I can tell you, I have told you as many of my reasons as I could, Prince Adam, for why I had to do what I did.”

“Why are you being so cryptic?”

“The future is not to be divulged to those unknowing of it,” the Enchantress now offered a small smile, “I’m afraid I cannot tell you more than what I have.”  

The prince would have continued to argue with her, but a sudden, heavy tiredness sagged into his bones, the fatigue of sorrow and forgotten hunger now returning to him. Strange how even a conversation—especially an emotional one—just wore him out so much more easily now. He was just so…tired, the energy of confrontation having drained him much too easily in the midst of all this pain and sorrow.

Whatever future she can see, I don’t want any part in it, if my servants are not free and human too.

Closing his eyes, the image of his servants in their inanimate forms flashed against the undersides of his eyelids. He tried to remember what they had looked like once upon a time, tried to imagine them being human again, free to do anything, even leave the castle.

I wouldn’t stop them either.

He opened his eyes, and turned to gaze upon Belle one last time, hoping she saw all the love he had for her.

I love you, Belle.

Turning back again, he drew closer to the Enchantress, who did not waver from where she stood. He was ready to do anything, anything so long as his servants were returned to human life.

“I have told Belle once that I would willingly endure the pain of returning to Beast form, giving up my humanity for good, if it meant my servants—my family, blood relatedness be damned—will be human again. I love Belle with all my heart, but I love my servants too, perhaps just as much.”

The Enchantress’s eyebrows arched up to her hairline in a show of surprise.

“You would give up your humanity in exchange for theirs?”

“Yes. My servants—my friends—didn’t abandon me even when I was at my worst, and I will not abandon them to their fate if I can help it. If you can bring me back to humanity, then you can give them back their humanity too. If it takes me returning to Beast form forever to do it, then I, Prince Adam, command you to do it. Even at the cost of my humanity, if not my own life.”

The Enchantress quietly considered him, eyes never wavering from the prince’s face.

“And the villagers,” he added, “If it means the villagers will remember their loved ones at the castle again, and reunite with them. My life and memories for theirs, Enchantress.”

Was it just his imagination, or did the Enchantress’s lips curl at one corner in the smallest hint of a smile?

“You have changed, Prince Adam.”

He shook his head. “I do not care to know how much I have changed, as long as I am too aware that my servants have not regained their own human forms.”

“You are willing to sacrifice your own humanity for your servants’ lives, and the villagers’ memories.”

The Enchantress regarded him and Belle for what felt like forever, before she finally spoke again, but whatever Adam expected her to say, it certainly wasn’t what he thought it would be.

“Take me to your castle.”

The prince expected another long walk back to the castle, and he wondered how on Earth they would get there before nightfall. It would be a long, dark walk through the forest, even with a bright moon up.  

“Why are you taking us back to the castle, Agathe?” Belle asked of her, her voice fraying with her own impatience. “What is the point of this?”

“You will see,” was their only answer.

“See what?” Adam demanded, almost tripping over an unseen rock, hand gripping Belle’s shoulder to steady himself, “See what I have done to all those who live in the village and the castle? Believe me—”

“No, it is not for that.”

“Then what is it for?”

“You will see. Stop.”

They halted in their tracks as Agathe held up a hand, before pointing off in another direction. The sun had already set below the treeline, cool rays filtering through the leaves, coating them in weak light. It would not be long before stars peeked through shivering leaves as owls hooted softly from high in the branches.

“We must have sustenance before moving on,” she told them, “My home is this way.”

“Wait, you have a house?” Belle asked, surprise plain for all to hear.

“It’s modest, but comfortable.”

Modest and comfortable were the perfect adjectives to describe the Enchantress’s small abode in a well-hidden part of the forest. But it was the scents that caught Adam’s attention first—earthy herbs, wildflowers, and fresh soil danced in his senses. He flinched a little when he heard the screech of some sort of unseen animal.

“Athena, yes, I’m home.” On Belle and Adam’s enquiring look, she explained, “Athena is my owl.”

Agathe’s home was a small wooden home with an outside porch sheltered by overhanging tree branches and a small roof. On the porch stood several careworn chairs that nonetheless looked achingly inviting to Adam’s weary body which was now crying out for somewhere to rest his aching feet upon.

I do not think I have ever walked this much in one day in my whole life.

“Take a seat, any seat,” Agathe waved over at the seats on the porch, “We will rest and eat for a few hours before continuing. There is a bright moon out tonight.”

Belle and Adam took their places on the largest sofa next to each other, his beloved snuggling into his side, her head resting on his chest, rising and falling with his breath. She always looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, and he couldn’t resist stroking the side of her face, smiling when her lips curved up in a small smile at his tender touch.

Oh Belle, how could I ever tell you how deep my love runs for you? I love you, God as my witness, I love you so much more than anyone could ever say.

The food and drink Agathe served up was simple—large bready buns heavy with herbs, and some peculiar slightly bitter-tasting liquid in small mugs. At first, Adam had been wary of the food—as had Belle—but hunger won out. When he bit into the floury bread, he suddenly realised just how little he had been eating the last couple days. Maybe Agathe had put some enchantment in the food and drink, but his stomach suddenly became more welcoming of the sustenance without so much as a complaint or hint of reluctance. He even managed to have a second bun, but declined to have another sip of the bitter drink with what he presumed to be herbs floating in the liquid. When he and Belle finished their little meal, Agathe offered another small smile.

“Now you have more energy to continue the trek, if you are ready.”

At least Agathe was right about the bright moon tonight, shining through leaves stencilled against the stars, lighting the earthy path as the Enchantress led them onward to the castle. The heavy bread and bitter drink felt heavy in his stomach, but nor did he feel ill from the meal. His legs did not wobble with weariness, nor his feet ache with fatigue. Nor did he feel drowsy, though sure that the hour must have been growing late. Time didn’t seem to exist, how late the hour a complete mystery. All he could do now was follow the Enchantress, praying she would finally put things to right, that his servants would once again be human. All he could do now in the presence of owls’ hoots and a restless breeze rustling through the trees was hold on to Belle’s hand, hers just as tight on his.

After what seemed to him like hours of walking—at least a couple hours anyway, judging by how much the moon had moved in the sky overhead—they finally arrived at their destination, the palace shining in the moonlight. Adam’s heart clenched as he saw just how dark it was inside. There was always at least a few torches lit, especially outside, but not even one wick burned tonight. No light but for the moon staring down at the land far, far below. The castle gates loomed before them, the iron rungs glinting and glowing with the moonlight falling over them.  The shadows of the rungs fell over the ground, stretching over their feet where they stood.

“Allow me to open them,” Agathe whispered, raising a hand to the gate. “I have done it once before.”

A loud, metallic clang rang in the couple’s ears, telling them the lock had been undone, even though all the Enchantress had done was raise a hand, and had not touched the gate at all.

“Follow me.”

As Belle and Adam followed the Enchantress, the gates creaking shut behind them, he allowed his mind to wander over the sight of the courtyard bathed by the light of the moon. Flowers looked so different at night, their blooms closed to the stars, waiting for the sun to rise again. The water spouting from the marble fountains turned into streams of liquid pearl under the moon’s touch, dissolving in the water at its base, winking with broken moonlight. Something about it gave him that utter sense of calmness, soothing his sorrows like fine red wine.

The magic of the moment shattered when they came upon the steps of the main entrance into the castle. Though the moonlight cast the silent musicians mostly into shadow, the silhouettes of a wardrobe and harpsichord still stood out in sharp relief. And now, to Adam’s stricken eyes, the moonlight suddenly became cold and harsh, delivering a slap to his face with the reminder of all that had been done.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying not to sway too much on his feet, desperately thinking of Belle’s warm hand clutching his.

Belle is here, she’s right here, holding my hand. Belle, Belle, Belle…

“These were the musicians, am I not mistaken?”

His eyes fluttered open, seeing that Agathe had stopped right between the wardrobe and the harpsichord.

“Yes,” Adam managed, “Madame de Garderobe and Maestro Cadenza. And we would have brought them inside too, were they not so impossible to carry in their forms.”

“And the others?”

Adam started to explain, but his voice caught in his throat, choking out any words that might have come.

“He laid them to rest in the servants’ quarters—Lumiere and Plumette with each other, and Mrs Potts with Chip,” Belle explained on his behalf, “And believe me, I was there when we carried them there. If you had seen how he broke down in my arms after, perhaps you would have realised how much he loved them.”

Adam inhaled a shaky breath, gesturing at the harpsichord and wardrobe with his hands. “I may have met them before that night, but believe me, I care about the Maestro and Madame too.” His voice hardened, summoning more courage from somewhere in him. “Now is your chance, Enchantress, to show you will return them to human form.”

Silence from the Enchantress, silence that seemed to stretch forever, her silhouette framed by moonlight. When she finally spoke, it was in a voice no louder than a whisper.

“When the sun rises, Prince Adam, all will be well within the castle, everyone returned to humanity. The villagers will awake at sunrise, their memories restored.”

“Promise?”

Silence, and then—

“Yes. Now go, sleep, and you will see all is well in the morning at sunrise.”

Without another word, the Enchantress glided past them, back down the steps, not looking back at them even once. Belle and Adam remained silent, arms around each other, as they watched her disappear into the darkness of the courtyard, the distant creak of gates cutting through the night as she returned to the forest.

“I don’t think I could sleep tonight,” Belle confessed.

“Nor will I,” the prince agreed, leaning his head on Belle’s, “But much as I distrust her, she is right. We must at least sleep even a little while.”

Arm in arm, they walked up the rest of the steps, both turning at the same time to look at the wardrobe. Belle began to reach out toward the wardrobe, but then withdrew her hand, hesitant, instead letting it drop back by her side.

“She sung so beautifully,” Belle murmured, “I can’t help but miss her singing now.”

“Europe has been bereft of her voice and memory for far too long.”

“You will sing again, Madame,” Belle said to the wardrobe that once was the opera singer, “And as a human, not a wardrobe.” A pause, then, to the prince, “She won’t hear me, yet…”

“It’s alright, Belle,” Adam stopped her, “It’s not silly at all. I did it all the time in my mother’s rose garden. Until—until father stopped me. Said only fools did that.”

“He was absolutely wrong,” Belle declared, sounding indignant on his behalf, “I don’t think it is foolish at all.”

“I don’t think so either, my love.”

With that mutual reassurance, they fell quiet again, regarding the wardrobe they prayed would be human again come the sunrise. Adam looked down to see the footstool, remembering how it had once been the opera singer’s lapdog.

“You were a good boy,” he told it, “You didn’t deserve any of this—the Enchantress had better restore you too.”

Standing up, he turned around, as did Belle at the same time, to regard Cadenza, or at least, the harpsichord that once had been the musician.

“Europe needs your music, Maestro. I only hope you will be allowed to make fine music again as a man, not a harpsichord.”

If only they could somehow hear us, even now.

Taking one last look at Cadenza, Garderobe, and Frou-Frou, the couple turned to face the entryway into the castle. A chill ran down Adam’s spine as he stared into the darkness of the entranceway, yawning away into what seemed to be nothing but the pitch black of night.

Is this how Belle and her father felt the first time they walked into this dark, still castle?

Suddenly, he wanted to stay out here, even though the air had already become cool enough that goose-bumps leapt up along his arms. But he had to be strong, he had to believe that the castle would return to its days in the sun.

Taking a deep breath, holding Belle close to his side, he slowly made his way into the castle, but not to their own rooms. Instead, they headed down the hall leading to the servants’ wing, where they could stay in the sitting area until dawn finally swept over the castle. The thought of getting a few hours’ sleep made him feel even sleepier than before, a deep drowsiness overcoming him, and he had to force his eyes to stay open.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Belle asked just as his hand touched the door handle. “We can turn and go back to our rooms now.”

The prince stalled as he asked himself how sure he was that he wished to return to what he knew was a wing devoid of life.

If the Enchantress keeps her promise, it won’t so lifeless by dawn.

“Stay with me,” he murmured.

Opening the door, the prince stepped inside, letting out a slow breath in an effort to steady himself, to try to keep himself together. He had Belle at his side, she would not abandon him, not now, not ever.  He would not be completely alone in here, as long as she was at his side.

“Perhaps we should look for some blankets?” Belle suggested, “I believe there are spare ones in my room.”

A shiver up his spine from the cool night air had him nodding and murmuring his agreement.

“I won’t take too long,” she promised, “Just sit down somewhere. I’ll be back.”

Feeling his way into the room as Belle departed to find some blankets, the prince eventually found a sofa to flop down on, lying back on it with his head tucked up against one armrest, and his feet against the other. The cushions and material was so soft, so comforting, like a warm embrace. Or did it only feel comfortable because he was so sleepy?

I’ll close my eyes for a few minutes…

Someone was shaking him awake, gently calling his name. With a jolt, he woke up, only to find it was Belle leaning over him, her facial features just discernible in the deep blue pre-dawn light. He realised sub-consciously that a couple blankets had been draped over him—Belle’s work, no doubt.

“Adam?”

“Mm—I’m awake.”

“Adam, it’s just dawn now,” Belle whispered, “I had thought I should go down to be with Maestro Cadenza and Madame de Garderobe to be with them when they become human again. But I can stay here if you desire me to. I just thought if you’d rather have a few minutes alone with the servants while I’m with the musicians, I will understand.”

Much as he would have loved to have Belle with him, at the same time, he felt he would be grateful for a few minutes alone with his servants. Besides, the musician couple outside would be confused were they to turn human again only to find no one else around.

“Thank you, Belle—best you keep the musicians company so there’s someone there with them when they become human.”

“Are you sure?”

Adam managed a weak smile. “Very sure.”

“Then it’s settled.”

They shared a soft kiss for a few moments, before Belle pulled back, tucking strands of his hair behind his ear with tender fingers.

“I love you, Adam.”

“You too, my love.”

One last, quick kiss on the lips, and Belle straightened up, turning and walking away, departing from the servants’ wing, leaving Adam alone with his still sleepy thoughts. But he couldn’t go back to sleep now that it fully hit him that it was dawn.

Pushing the blanket off himself, the prince raised himself to his feet, walking to a window that faced east over the gardens. Though the sun had not yet peeped out from beyond the horizon, the eastern sky glowed yellow, melting into the pale blue unique to dawn. The clouds hovering in the east seemed to glow with an intense red-orange hue, spilling lighter shades of pink onto other clouds in the sky. He tried to imagine that same light flowing over the rose garden that had been so dear to his mother, and how the flowers would be brushed in soft dawn hues. Somewhere, he could hear a chorus of birds heralding the coming dawn, and he closed his eyes, praying in that moment that once sunrise came, the servants would be able to see and hear the peace of dawn once again.

It would be even more enchanting, if only you were all human again.

A memory, unbidden, tip-toed into his head of how he would often sit on his mother’s lap as a small child, cuddled up in her arms, watching at a window as the dawn stretched sleepily over the sky, staining the clouds with puddles of pink and brushes of orange and red. How she would sing her favourite lullaby to him as the east yawned golden light, leaving behind wonderful colours as it stretched into the sky.

Days in the sun, where my life has barely begun…

Casting his eyes away from the dawn, Adam looked around at the silent quarters, still so quiet, the doors shut, leaving them to rest in peace. They had all been so loyal to him all his life, never leaving even when they could have done so. How did he ever deserve such loyalty and love from them? They didn’t have to stay, not even when they were still humans, and yet they did, even despite his cruellest and darkest days as a prince before the curse. How could he ever repay their loyalty and love?

Not until my whole life is done, will I ever leave you.

But as the dawn lightened until everything inside and outside was in sharp relief, his tension and deep fear grew. He tried to push the thoughts away, the ones that asked what if it was a lie, but still they persisted. What if the Enchantress had tricked them? What if the sun rose and rose until it was already midday, and still it was all too still in the castle, the spell still upon his subjects?

No—no, I have to be strong. For their sake. For Belle’s sake. For mine.

Then—the first peek of the sun, an intensely bright sliver of gold flashing on the eastern horizon. He tried to listen for anything, anything that would tell him all was well, closing his eyes as he strained his ears as much as possible.

Please come back, please come back…

His shoulders tensed, arms wrapping around himself as he stood there, brow furrowed, eyes shut, desperately begging for a sign, any sign that all was well. The sun was already rising, its light intensifying under his closed eyelids.

His eyes flew open at the sound of a door clicking open, its movement caught in his peripheral vision. Forgetting the sunrise, he whirled around, eyes wide, barely breathing, hardly daring to believe it was real. But there—there! One of the doors was opening, opening—slowly pushed aside to reveal a very stunned-looking Chapeau, who stood in the doorway to his own room.

Human, he’s human, not a cloak hanger.

Chapeau was as tall as the prince remembered him to be—or was he just a little taller than before, as though some remnant of the tall cloak hanger remained in him? His clothes were as immaculate as ever, golden shoes—once the feet of a cloak hanger—standing out against the man’s otherwise all black attire.

Chapeau. He’s Chapeau. Human. Human again.

Chapeau turned his head, face breaking out in an expression of great astonishment on seeing the prince. His mouth opened once, twice, as though he wanted to say something, but the words would not come. Giving up on verbalising whatever he had intended to say, Chapeau simply bowed—as deep a bow as the prince ever had seen him do--in Adam’s direction, and when he straightened up again, there was a great, relieved grin on his face. The prince couldn’t help but smile back in return, a small one to be sure, but no less relieved than Chapeau’s.

“Human again!” Chapeau exalted as he held up his pale hands, staring from one to the other in amazement, before looking back at the prince again, “Thank you, my Prince.”

Adam could only nod in acknowledgement of Chapeau’s gesture of gratitude and respect.

Both men turned their heads to the sound of another door handle jiggling, Adam watching with bated breath as it, after what seemed an eternity, finally opened to reveal Cogsworth leaning on his cane, a monocle held up to an eye. No longer a clock made of springs and gears and wood and metal. Now he was once again an elderly stout man, decorated in medals of past victories in battles, his buttons’ engraved Roman numerals a ghost of the clock he once had been. Now, at last, he was human again. Adam could breathe just a little easier now.

Cogsworth. Chapeau.

Cogsworth’s mouth fell open when he finally made eye contact with the prince, blue eyes wide with surprise at the sight of the human prince still standing at the window.

“Prince Adam!” he exclaimed, all smiles and movement as he began to shuffle in the prince’s direction. “True love really did save the day!”

Adam swallowed back his guilt, trying to smile anyway, glad Cogsworth and Chapeau didn’t seem any the wiser about what had happened—for now anyway. Perhaps when Belle came back, and he knew everyone were no longer inanimate, lifeless house-ware, then he might gather together whatever strength he could to explain.

“True love,” Adam echoed, as Chapeau walked across the room to join him and Cogsworth as well. “At first, anyway.”

He hoped neither would notice how his voice cracked, choked back with unshed tears of relief, or see the way his eyes shifted downward, or how his hand tightened on the window sill as he leaned heavily on the wall next to it. But despite that hope he had somehow hid his turmoil from them, Chapeau had apparently seen through it anyway.

“Something amiss, Prince Adam?” Chapeau asked.

Prince Adam bit back a sigh, lifting his head back up, not quite meeting their concerned gazes.

“I think…it is better if I explain when Belle returns,” was all he managed before he couldn’t trust his voice not to shake, not to halt or choke midsentence.

“I did wonder why I was back in my room,” Cogsworth mused aloud.

“As did I,” Chapeau agreed.

“When Belle—” Adam took a deep breath, “When she returns…”

“Speaking of, where is the girl?” Cogsworth looked around the room, turning a little to look behind him.

“She is with the Maestro and Madame outside—so they won’t be alone when they become human, after all that has happened.”

Chapeau turned to look at him, “What had happened?”

But before Adam could try to muster up the strength to explain, another door opened—this time, Mrs Potts’ room. But the first person to emerge was not the woman, but Chip, who was no longer a little teacup, but a human boy all of four or five years of age. He froze as soon as he spotted the three men standing together, but his eyes fixated completely on the prince.

“MAMA!” he shrieked back into the room, running back inside, “Mama, come quick!”

Not half a second later, Chip re-emerged, now pulling a broadly smiling Mrs Potts by her hand.

She’s alive. Chip and Mrs Potts are alive. They’re here! Human!

“Mrs Potts!” Adam blurted out, his legs now finding enough strength to rush him to where the lady was, “Chip!”

The prince stopped short of Mrs Potts, who looked at him with bright, proud eyes, the smile, if possible, becoming even more delighted as she reached out to take his face in her hands, reminding the prince of how his own mother used to do the same.

“I knew you could do it, Adam,” she said, “See? We’re all here now.”

Adam’s vision wavered, a burning behind his eyes as he threw his arms around Mrs Potts in a tight embrace, leaning his forehead on her shoulder, savouring the feeling of hugging another real, living person he’d had come to care about so much since childhood. No longer a fragile teapot who had to watch what she did lest she broke, but now a fully grown human woman whom, while nurturing and warm, was also refreshingly honest and no-nonsense.

Her hands came up and alighted on his back in a small, but no less heartfelt, hug, giving him a small comforting pat with a hand.

“It’s alright now,” she assured him, “We’re all here again. I foresee no cold tea in your future.”

Adam managed the weakest of laughs as he lifted his head off her shoulder, letting go of her. He could see her eyes were brighter than before.

“I’m proud of you, and I like to think we all are.”

The prince nodded, too moved to trust himself to speak—but Mrs Potts seemed to understand anyway. An insistent tugging on his shirt diverted his attention downward toward Chip, who was grinning up at him, the gap between his front teeth an echo of the crack in the rim of his old teacup form.

“I’m a little boy again!” he exclaimed at the prince, “Can I hug you?”

How could anyone, least of all the prince, say no to such a charming request? At once, Adam knelt down to the boy’s level, and pulled him into a warm hug, feeling the little boy’s arms curl around his neck.

“I like you lots more as a human than as a Beast,” Chip commented.

“Chip!” his mother admonished gently.

But Adam didn’t mind a bit—to be honest, he rather agreed a hundred percent with the child. Pulling back from the hug, his hands on the boy’s shoulders, he raised a hand to ruffle Chip’s hair playfully.

“I like me better as a man than a Beast too, Chip.”

Standing up, he took a moment to glance around the room, his heart skipping a beat when he saw Plumette and Lumiere were nowhere to be seen. A tremor of fear crawled down his spine.

Oh dear God, don’t tell me they’re still inanimate.

Cogsworth seemed to have noticed this as well.

“Where’s Lumiere and Plumette?” he asked, a deep concern setting into his aged features.

“I put both of them in Lumiere’s room,” the prince explained, remembering all too vividly when he and Belle had carried the couple to the servants’ quarters, “I didn’t want to part them even as inanimate objects. If they’ve…returned, I expect they’re likely having a private moment together.”

A little shiver seemed to go through Cogsworth as he turned around to stare intently at the prince, some sort of realisation deep in his eyes.

“Stop me if I am mistaken, Master, but from what you are saying, you saw us in our inanimate forms after we had…faded away.”

A nod. Cogsworth bowed his head in deep empathy.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“And you brought us all up here?” Chapeau asked.

“Belle and I—we both did.” A deep breath here, looking around at the gathered household staff and Chip, “I—I cannot begin to put into words how—how terrible it was,” he caught Mrs Potts’ eye, “I didn’t think I would experience a worse loss than when mother passed away, but for the last two days…”

Chapeau exhaled audibly, his face white, clearly shaken. Cogsworth appeared stricken by the news, hand tightening on his cane.

“Two days?” Cogsworth echoed.

Adam felt more than saw Mrs Potts approach his side, one of her arms coming up to hug his shoulders, squeezing gently with her hand. When he glanced at her, he could see a tear rolling down her cheek.

“I cannot imagine how awful you must have felt, even if you had Belle for company.” Cogsworth shook his head with unspoken regret for all that his prince had to go through.

“If it weren’t for her, I believe I probably would’ve just…wasted away,” Adam confessed, “It was only because of her insistence that I had eaten anything at all.” He offered Mrs Potts a small, ironic smile. “I may have drank one or two cups of cold tea. In the dark.”

Mrs Potts looked like she was searching for something else to say to this, but everyone’s attention was then distracted by the last door starting to open. Adam’s breath caught in his throat, heart pounding—were Plumette and Lumiere alright after all?

Adam exhaled in dizzying relief when the head that popped out of the door to look out at them all was Plumette’s. Her eyes stared up at them in wonder, her face breaking out into a small, relieved smile before she disappeared back into the room, but did not close the door. Adam could only presume she was talking to Lumiere, and he wasn’t wrong, for the door was then pushed open all the way, revealing the maitre’d in full human form, no longer a cold, unlit candelabra. What once had been lifelessness was now a grown man full of his old life and energy. The prince could not think of a time when he had been more relieved to see Lumiere’s human features, no longer encased in stiff, immovable gold. Once again, he had the familiar blue eyes Adam knew so well—gone now were the embossed gold irises that passed for eyes in his candelabra form.

“Oh! My prince!” Lumiere greeted Adam, bowing to the prince with a great flourish of an arm, still as theatrical as always. Adam couldn’t help but smile in overwhelming relief at this.

As Adam paced from where the others were standing, toward Plumette and Lumiere, he paused as the former gave a little curtsey to him.

“Plumette,” he addressed her, “Thank heavens you’re here.” Then he turned to Lumiere, who was holding his arms out as if expecting a hug. Rendered speechless again by emotion, the prince threw his arms around Lumiere in a fierce embrace, closing his eyes in relief that he finally had his closest friend back too—now full of life and human again. This was the Lumiere he knew, full of vivaciousness and cheerfulness, not sombre, lifeless, his spark stolen by the last petal of that cursed rose.

Lumiere finally pulled back from the embrace, still grinning, hands clasping Adam’s arms—were they always that warm before? But at least now they were warm, and not replaced by candlesticks.

“Hello old friend.”

Adam nodded, managing a genuine smile himself—it was hard not to with Lumiere’s infectious cheer—relief singing through him that he knew at least now they were all here—and he sorely hoped the same could be said for the musicians too.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Adam conceded, before Lumiere pulled him into another strong hug, quicker than the first one, but no less sincere.

They parted their embrace when another distant sound, the most beautiful, wonderful sounds floated up from down the hallway, Adam’s heart in his throat.

Is that the musicians? Say it is so!

Then—his heart soared to the heavens on hearing Belle’s shouting that the musicians were well, my love! The musicians are human again! Frou-Frou was a dog again! All was well! The Enchantress had promised them the truth after all! Adam’s jaw dropped when he saw that indeed the musicians were both human again, resplendent in their dramatic costumes from the night the Enchantress had visited.

“Adam!” Belle gasped, hands clapping over her mouth as she stared wide-eyed at the now-human castle residents. “Oh Adam! All is well!”

He couldn’t help it, couldn’t help tearing away from the others to grab her in a strong embrace, dipping her with a fierce, thankful kiss, feeling it returned with equal fervour.

We are alive, so, so, alive!

When they finally parted the kiss, then there was Chip’s exuberant voice again, shouting for Belle’s attention.

“Belle! It’s me! It’s Chip!”

Adam could see Belle was barely holding herself back from bursting into tears when she bent down to give him a hug as he ran into her arms with infectious happiness. While Belle was reuniting with Chip, Adam looked over at Madame de Garderobe and Maestro Cadenza, bowing his head in quiet thankfulness, pleasantly surprised when they bowed and curtseyed in return, their hands still clasped tight, clearly refusing to let go of each other, not for a long time now they were together again.

“Thank you, Prince Adam. Thank you.” Maestro Cadenza said, as he affected another deep bow, “You have our eternal gratitude for the rest of our days.”

Adam sunk into the nearest armchair and let his head sink in his hands, shoulders shaking not only from such utter, deep, wordless relief that everyone had their humanity returned to them, but also in the release of all the pain and grief he could now let go.

Their days in the sun had finally come shining through.

[savagegardenforever]

Darren's Diaries

These are Darren's Diaries from the first tour (Future of Earthly Delites/To the Moon And Back) from 1998.

There are six entries - 4th July, 7th July, 12th July, 20th July, 15th August and 8th September.

4th July

   Well here I am sitting on a tour bus. It's a twelve    sleeper and there are 8 of us...Daniel and I...our band...and our tour manager. We have    completed over 50 shows since the start of this tour in Australia in January. Finally we    are in America. For the next two months we will be playing 40 shows in the States and    Canada. It is going to be an incredible experience. Exciting and Exhausting I'm sure.

So far we started production rehearsals in Rockford Illinois. Our first show    was in Chicago for the B96 radio show with Boyz to Men and Mariah Carey. Minneapolis was    next. We then travelled into Canada for two incredible shows in Saskatoon then Edmonton.    As I type this we are headed for Calgury. The Canadian audiences have been really cool.    Very into the music and very LOUD!!

Our band are playing really well together. I am very proud to be on    the stage with them every night. We have Anna Maria Laspina and Nicole McIntyre on backing    vocals. Karl Lewis on Drums. Ben Carey on Guitars and Lee Novak on Bass. I have included    some pictures of us during hot and sweaty production rehearsals. You'll also find the new    stage clothes provided by Diesel and on my fave pics ever...Me with fans after the    Minneapolis gig.

Sharing a tour bus together is kinda strange. It's    like...HUGE...with two loungerooms with tables and videos and soundsystems etc...then    there is a little kitchen where we all make cups of tea and sandwhiches after gigs. It's    almost like the Brady Bunch on Tour. Our beds have little T.V's in them and little    curtains to block out the rabble. It's actually a lot more comfortable than I thought it    would be. Let me get back to you on that in a few weeks though!

7th July  

 So now I'm on my way from Seattle to    Portland. Still on the bus...I swear it's like the Partridge Family. I took a little    family shot to demonstrate how pathetic and domesticated we have all become. Andy our bus    driver is very cool...he makes me vegetarian meals sometimes... and puts up with our table    manners.

The Vancouver show was probably one of the tightest    shows we have played ever...good crowd...and we were really on it. It's so funny...I just    read a report from Edmontone where the reviewer thought that maybe I lip synch my vocals    because...in his words..."Hayes hits some unnaturally high notes.."!!!    I think that is so ironic. I mean...I have good nights...and bad nights. Sometimes I sing    up a storm...and other nights it's not quite what I want it to be. To have someone think    it's all on tape is kind of an indirect compliment. I guess it means I sang well!! I'll    tell you...last night in Seattle...I was WISHING my vocals were on tape...I was so tired.    But the crowd seemed to get into it and by half way through I was in my own little world.

Playing live is definately something we are proud of. I personally    have a big problem with 'artists' who mime...or lip synch...or whatever you wanna call it.    I believe that seeing a band live is warts and all. If I hit a bum note...then so be    it...that is what you pay for. If I hit a brilliant note...then that's fantastic. That's    what makes some nights INCREDIBLE...and others not so. You never know. Also I figure if    you want to listen to the cd...stay home. Coming out to see a band live is all about    living in the moment.

So after the Portland show we get a much needed day off...before we    start the San Fransisco, L.A , Vegas leg. Viva Las Vegas Baby.

Outta here...

12th July

       Before anything happens I gotta tell you that playing    in Red Rocks...Colorado was the most incredible experience for me. The setting was like    something from heaven..the weather was incredible. It actually rained the entire show but    the 7000 plus crowd stayed to the end... It was so magical. The thunder and lightning in    that historical venue...and the crowd. It made me very emotional.

I kept thinking of U2's "Under a blood red sky" live    album...recorded there. It was just the same as it looked all those years ago when I sat    in my lounge room watching the video...looking at my heros. To play there...was a VERY big    deal for me.

I'm in San Antonio Texas writing this...in my hotel room. Just came    back from a fantastic show here. What a cool crowd. I really dig this town. It looks    NOTHING like the rest of Texas... Last night we went out and had fantastic Mexican food    and drank Starbucks while walking along the riverbank in the middle of the city...with all    cafe's and restaurants along the river edge. It was incredible...the night was windy and    the temperature was not as hot as it apparently has been. I thought in this email I would    include some more personal photos of the band and our crew...There is this beautiful man    from Texas called Chuck...who has been married for 25 years. Chuck is a sound/monitor    engineer on our tour. His daughter Victoria has these adorable little twins Joseph and    Jacob...so I managed to get a cuddle of the babies before our show in San Antonio tonite.    Boy did I get clucky. It was Nicole's birthday today...it's Daniel's on Wednesday...so we    have kind of been celebrating for a few days now. Nicole and Anna (our backing singers)    are dear friends of mine...and we have a blast.

We get along really well with Sneaky Pete...the production    assistant. He is evil...in the funniest way. His assistant Laurie is THE BIGGEST    SWEETHEART. I included a picture of me hugging her because she is my lifeline.

She is in charge of all sorts of things...but for me..her main job    is making sure the dressing rooms are set up...wardrobe and costumes are set out and    laundered...candles are lit...music is playing...holdiays are booked and roses sent to    family members. Basically she is my mom on the road...and she is incredible. Her attention    to detail makes coming into the dressing room such a pleasure..everything from my after    shave to the kind of tea I drink...she is aware of..and makes sure it is all in order.

I also included a picture of Daniel playing with his new Keyboard    backstage with Lindsay...one of our other fave people. Linds is a guitar tech on this    tour...but really he is an awesome drummer...who last worked with Pearl Jam doing drum    tech for them. Just the sweetest person.

Who else can I tell you about?? Motley our lighting designer is a    little yoda...he is so spiritual and deep..and a dear friend. Collin Ellis mixes our    sound...and is a very nice bloke!!

Crash...our sound engineer on stage..(does in ear monitors...) told    me tonite that the reason I get soo tired is that I need to 'take more exercise.'    Hahaha... I work out 5 or 6 days a week...two hours a day...as well as doing the show!!    The entire band just cracked up laughing at him. Oh well...he was only trying to help. He    is very funny...and oh..also good at his job.

I am getting excited because we are about to have three days off!!    Whoo hoo!! I mean...I love the tour...but I have been working on this album for 2 and a    half years...and touring it since January. We are all very tired...and looking forward to    the rest. When we start up again we will be HALF WAY... That is pretty cool.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was dreaming up the name...the front cover and the artwork for our new album. All we need now is the music!! Haha...

I am rambling...but it's late...and life is really good. God bless.

Darren

20th July

           Hey...welcome back to the tour. We have missed you. Let    me take you now to a very sacred place. This is my bed in the tour bus. I call it my    'monkey bunk'...don't ask me why...it's kinda private...! But that's what I call it...    Actually I have become quite fond of it. To the point that I am finding it hard to sleep    in regular beds now. I am used to the constant rocking of the highway. There is a little    T.V in there...but I rarely watch it. By the time my head hits the pillow...I am out! It    is actually very soothing...and I am someone who finds sleeping very difficult.

We have had a ball on tour with our new support...Billy Myers.

Billy Myers is just FANTASTIC. She is very talented...as are her    band. Billy is also VERY VERY funny. Here is a picture of her and I in my dressing room    about two seconds before our show in Miami. This was the day of our manager...Rebecca's    birthday. We got her all sorts of nice presents and this huge cake. Here is a picture of    my face in the cake.

Long Story! I am commonly known as 'tabu' in the band because I kind    of...well...I just take things to the extreme in terms of practical jokes and goofing about. Usually with birthday cakes I end of throwing them all over people...and sticking them to walls etc. You know...normal things like that. So this time the band got me  first...Laurie..our production GODDESS pushed my face into it when I was PRETENDING to  take a big bite. GRRRR!! Florida was hot and steamy...and reminded me very much of  Australia. Played some great shows...although something really stupid happened in Fort Lauderdale. For some bizarre reason..security allowed five audience members to run onto the stage during Truly Madly Deeply. But I don't mean just running up to say hello. They kind of scared the hell out of all of us...and ruined a beautiful moment in the song. We virtually didn't end the show...because they just wouldn't leave the stage. So we all learned a valuable lesson in security. I had my eyes closed as I sang the last notes of the last song of the night...and felt the stair case rumble...and when I looked up there  were three people on the stage with me. It just made no sense to me...I tried to talk to the girl...even say hi...but she was screaming...while her boyfriend spent his time  telling aggressively informing anyone who would listen that he had every right to be there    on stage because he won an after show pass.!!! THIS WAS DURING THE SHOW!!! I look back now  and kinda laugh it off but in the moment...I really felt that the incident ruined to mood    for the rest of the audience. I didn't really get to say goodbye to the crowd...we just    had to leave.

I spent my few days off in New York while the rest of the band  travelled to Myrtle Beach and apparently had a blast. I keep missing the really good    unexpected fun times. Apparently the break in New Orleans was wild as well. There will be news about this in the next fanzine I believe.

Delaware...Harrington was such a bizarre experience. We played at    the State Fair. This was a 4 hour drive from New York...in the middle of nowhere... A    great show with a really enthusiastic audience. Afterwards we went to the local TGI    Friday's restaurant and everyone who had a cell phone was informed that the band were    there...so we spent our evening binge eating while locals watched in horror. Our visit to    the local bowling alley was hilarious. I of course...the king of cool (really just a cover    for my lack of physical ability in sports) refused to play. For 'fashion reasons' I said.    But I don't think anyone believed me. I took a photo of their shoes.

Daniel refused to let me photograph his involvement in this    activity...but let's just say...at bowling...HE RULES. He beat the pants off everyone.

Here is my reaction to bowling... my thrilled to be bowling face.

And this is really what we have been reduced to. Bowling. Oh    yeah...we also play pictionary a lot. All jokes aside...we have had such a wonderful time    so far...it's already August ...and the tour has only 4 weeks to go. I think we are all    going to be very sad when it ends. We have just spent so much time together...we really do    feel like family.

We have met so many wonderful fans...been treated like royalty and  we want to thank you so much for coming out to see us play live. More soon I guess!

15th August

       I am once again sitting at the desk in the kitchen of    our tour bus. We are travelling from Missouri to Illinois. Can you believe that we have    performed 30 shows already on the North American leg of this tour? We have only 9 more    shows left and then the tour is officially over. We started in Australia in January...then on to New Zealand...Asia... Including Japan and India...Europe...and finally America. I  think when it winds up we will have played almost 80 shows. That's a pretty good feeling you know...I had no idea I would have the stamina to get through...and yet here we are looking at the end of the tour...and really the end of this album.

Here are a couple of shots from our show tonight in Missouri.  It's such a long way from where it all started.

It's funny you know... with this site I have tried really hard to    document all sorts of experiences...and not just the musical ones. Yesterday in    Indianapolis I decided that real life was just a little too normal...so I invented a drama    so that I could write about it...and photograph it...and present it to you...(How sad is    that!!)

To cut a long story short... Nicky and I decided to 'steal' a golf cart from the Indianapolis state fair officials. Well...we didn't really 'steal' it..we  kinda just borrowed it and deceived a few people into thinking that our backstage passes  were really licenses to drive a golf buggy. Here is a picture of our initial Evil plan...

It was so funny. Our crew and the security at the venue didn't know    what was happening. I actually took the buggy INTO the arena...where all the fans were    taking their seats for Billie Myers (BY THE WAY..BIG APOLOGY FOR SPELLING HER NAME WRONG    LAST UPDATE...!!!) So anyway...Nikky and I were spinning and flying around the    arena...some of the audience recognized me and started chasing the golf buggy. Although    fun...golf carts are NOT good escape vehicles. I managed to get away by fooling the    security guard that 'everything was in order'.

The cart was returned with lots of apologies and no feelings hurt.

Lots has happened since I last wrote. I never really told you about  the band's new obsession with Golf did I?? It kind of stems from Dan...but everyone...excluding me...has been getting into it. Anna and I generally work out...like A    LOT...which can be exhausting when on tour because you sweat so much on stage as    well...but it has been an adventure just trying to find gyms in every town we go to... But    we have been pretty successful so far.

Today I went crazy recording items in our dressing room. Don't ask    me why...but here are snapshots of shoes...and sunglasses. Lets face it...in Savage    Garden...these are very important elements of our success...(joke!!)

It's weird...I just figured I would have LOVED to have seen stupid    photos of Michael Jackson's wardrobe when I was like...a kid...so I figured...for those of    you out there who enjoy the small details... this is for you.

We really have had such fun with Billie Myers. Her band are very    talented...and friendly. Billie herself is incredible. Such an artist. I watched her    performing 'Tell Me' and 'Kiss the Rain' yesterday in Indianapolis and I was very moved.    She ran all over the stage...climbed EVERYTHING...and ended up at the back of the    auditorium with the audience...still singing. I will be very sad to say goodbye because I    have learned a lot just being around her. Beautiful soul. True performer.

Here is another pic of Billie and I just before the Missouri show.

Our shows have been wonderful lately. The crowds have just been    getting better and better. Some of the small towns have been incredible experiences. We    played a HUGE show in Bethlehem P.A. It was part of their MusikFest festival...and it was    one of the largest shows they have had there. Truly magical.

Soon we head to New York...(DUH...my fave city) for a few days as we    are involved in a private SECRET event that will be revealed to you in due time. But I am    very much looking forward to being there...

I will keep you updated.

Darren

8th September

It's over. 8 months and 85 shows later here we are    on a plane back to real life. I am so exhausted as I type this...and really unsure as to    how it all feels. I am going to go back for you...a few weeks to catch up on everything    that lead up to this final moment of reflection. I remember telling you in my last update    that we were in New York for a "secret" gig...well I can tell you now it was for    the Elite Modelling agency Look competition...and we performed at this club in Manhattan    called Life. It is one of those velvet rope deals...and to be honest...I had never been in    until that night.

We performed a very short set in front of a room full of beautiful    women..and famous people. Jerry Seinfeld was there... Apparently he offered to meet us    when we had sold 12 million albums as opposed to the 8 million that we actually    have. Haha. Thanks for the homework Mr. Seinfeld. Afterwards he hung out in the same foofy    area with us...smoking cigars, flanked by burly security guards. Anna said hi. I was too    busy working out how to sell 4 more million albums.

Our set was GREAT...some people say one of the best we have played    because of it's simplicity and audacity. We just PLAYED...didn't really give a damn...and    it paid off. We headed off ... back to the rest of the tour...but soon ended up back in    planet Manhattan (that's what Motley our lighting designer calls it...as it is like no    other place on earth) after our Boston gig (very pretty btw...nice venue) to play the    Beacon Theatre. What an experience THAT was.

Madonna attended. Rod Stewart was there with wife and kids. We were    sold out. Need I say there was a little tension in the air. But it turned out to be such a    powerful show...such an energy to it. Probably because of the whole Madonna vibe. Thing    is...Billie Myers had heard me singing "Ray of Light" at soundcheck...and told    Madonna and friends that we do it well. The day of our show we get a phone call from    executives asking where in our show it is performed as Madonna is possibly coming along to    have a look. Of course we freaked out...of course we immediately added it to our show even    though we have never performed it as a band!!

So Madonna did attend...and from all accounts...was standing and    grooving with the rest of them...and had a smile on her face... What more can you say?    Very VERY surreal moment...performing in front of someone who inspired me to be here. Did    someone say OH MY GOD???

So the next day was our end of tour party...even though we had two    more shows to do...where better to celebrate than NYC? It was in this place called Lot 61    in Chelsea...and we had a blast. It was actually very emotional and I think that is when    it really hit me that this was all coming to a close.

The next day we left for Cleveland...had a great show...and then    prepared for our last gig in Kentucky. All sorts of mad and weird stuff went on that day.    Last shows are traditionally weird anyway...as everyone feels kinda depressed but    exhausted and practical jokes are happening everywhere.

Some of the craziness?? Billie Myers appeared on stage during our    All Around Me routine on the shoulders of our road crew dressed in her best Scary Spice    outfit screaming SPICE UP YOUR LIFE. She then proceeded to spray us with Silly String    (that shaving cream gunk...) Very funny!! We almost couldn't do the song.

Members of our band were seen doing all sorts of weird things...like    kissing each other...wearing each other's costumes...and hamming it up. We managed to drag    every crew member on stage or under a spotlight during the band intro...and someone    painted the words WE'LL MISS YOU on the drum riser.

During the encore...we sang ONE OF US...and got a bit choked up as I    dedicated it to Chuck...our sound assistant who's Grandchild is going in for an operation    soon. I asked the crowd to say a prayer for him and that's when it really hit me that the    tour was over. Not just the tour either...but this album...this stage of our lives. Like    graduating from High School this felt like a real ending...and the beginning of a future    somewhere out there.

After the show...we all ended up on Billie's bus...disco dancing and    acting like complete morons. Had a blast.

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to each and every    one of you...for giving us this incredible experience...for listening to the music...for    understanding it...for coming out in droves to see our circus when it came to your town.    This is a thank you to you...the fans of the music...and our colleagues...the Savage    Garden Band...and Crew...It has been the most humbling experience to have know you...I    feel like a better man for having been through this all with you.

This is a farewell of sorts...for a long time. We have to take some    much needed rest...get our thoughts together and try and remember what real life is about    for a little while. Before you know it...we will be in the studio...working on more magic.    Until then...we are going to go away until we have something thoughtful to say.

Thanks for the memories.    See you in THE FUTURE.....

Darren

[40countdown]

This is it! The Final Episode! The Last Installment! The Swan Song of the Blog! I’m 40 as hell already! (01-14-18)

Original Goals 

Looking back at the goals I laid out in the first post for this blog… I didn’t do bad.

Body Goals:

My weight is where is should be.. Weigh in 158.5  

The 2 inches off the waist didn’t happen. Ha! The waist is as trashy as it was but probably no worse.. since I never measured with tape I have to judge based on which pants I can or can not button and how uncomfortable it is to put a sock on.. which still tends to fluctuate after a few good or bad weeks.. but I’d say I’m right about where I started.

(this is from today at the gym when I registered for a thing... :D) 

The elbow miraculously healed.. the pain is gone but last week I noticed it was radiating heat like a nuclear reactor so.. I might wanna get it checked out.. or maybe I just have a hot laser in my elbow from the spider bite. #superpowers

We all know that I pissed away any chance of being “11 months smoke free” a long time ago, but I recommitted to ruining that goal this past week during vacation/birthday celebrations when I torched 2 full packs of Marlboro Reds. I really do think the 2 Tough Mudders I’ve signed up for will help keep me from reaching for the reds in my weaker moments.

Blood pressure has not been checked but I’d be surprised if it’s great after the birthday week vacation I’ve had of all night bars and all day food closing out with a delicious “brisket burnt ends” sandwich from The Joint.

Career Goals:

Documentary is not finished, but it is much closer and I’m more fired up about it than ever! This one is gonna hit like a Bruce Lee kick, y’all. I aim to complete and submit to festivals by the end of March and that is still absolutely manageable with my much lighter spring semester schedule.

Longer term job offer.. I got that since I got the full time job offer this past August which I’ve accepted. I also did get accepted to an MFA Screenwriting program, but I declined to go in favor of the job and the chance to actually finish the film.

Feature film script.. I know exactly what I want to write next but.. that goal seems insanely over ambitious looking back.. I definitely assumed everything would go much faster with the doc than it did, but.. I’ll say now that by this time next year I fully expect to have achieved that goal. Can’t wait to write again!

Heart/Mind Goals:

I aimed at 7000 minutes and 20mins/day average.. The phone won’t tell me how many minutes unless I sit and add up each day.. but it does say 21 mins/day avg for the year, which is crazy! I touched on what I feel like I get out of meditation a few times earlier so I won’t yammer on rewording the same thoughts, but it feels good to know I’ve been able to take a small step in the direction I think is good for me. I want to do much longer sits this year.

Elliptical/Sauna.. 

I’m sure I also averaged 20/mins in the sauna for the year but the elliptical I walked away from in favor of shorter runs on the treadmill so.. I sorta traded that and my phone doesn’t track the treadmill so.. you’ll have to take my word that I feel I probably did also get that average. I was in the gym a LOT this year. Ha!

Fed My Head:

I aimed at 12 audiobooks and I did 17. I would love to do even more but editing requires the focus of all the faculties I possess.

I certainly however did not “read more than 10 books.” I read chunks of a lot of books mostly relating to preparing film syllabi and keeping my head in the film problem solving space. But I just finished of Year of Magical Thinking, given to me by my dad after my friend Palma died. It’s a tough read b/c of what the author went through, and not at all what I expected from the title, but I would recommend it for anyone who cares about people :)  

A Very Special THANK YOU to Scott McCarthy 

Owner of Balance Strength and Fitness Center www.balancefitnesstraining.com

Scott voluntarily gave me a 4 day workout routine. He tailored it to my situation, a slowly healing elbow and someone who can’t spend 3 hours in the gym everyday.. and while my food and beer habits probably prevented me from losing the belly flab, I definitely gained noticeable muscle in my arms, chest and legs. So, I’m certainly stronger than I’ve ever been and in a pretty well rounded way. Without Scott’s workout plan I’m sure that I would’ve waffled from one thing to the next w/o seeing any results, but with it, I had just the right amount of workout 4 days a week and I was able to push myself each time I walked into the gym. And it was great to know that I had a map from someone who looks like the Incredible Hulk and has been training people for 20 years. He just moved into a new place and upgraded the gym that he owns. He also knows a ton about nutrition and will happily call bullshit on a lot of fads that come through, but he’ll tell you exactly why it’s bullshit. Much Respect! Scott! I owe you some video work, brother! Let’s coordinate and we’ll put some cool spots together for the gym. If you (dear reader) are in the Delaware area and want to get real about training stop reading this and drive directly to his gym… unless it’s really late. Then just go FIRST THING TOMORROW!

Final Thoughts..

I want to thank every single person who read this thing even once and especially those of you who shot me a little word of encouragement or a book suggestion along the way privately or publicly. I truly do believe as an experiment it was successful even if all the goals weren’t met b/c I did have the idea of being held accountable for my actions in mind probably more than you’d imagine. And while it didn’t keep every cheeseburger or cigarette out of my face, it did get me to meditate on weeks where I might not have at all. And the fact that I mediated a few times or ate healthier a few times to be able to report that I had done so doesn’t make me feel like I’m somehow a fake. I was as honest as I could be about everything I did and in the case of food, exercise and mediation in service of the audience.. I still get the benefit of each thing even if it isn’t coming from some pure unpolluted source of willpower. I think there’s a bit of horseshit in most ideas that swirl around purity anyway, so.. I’m good with using the blog in the way that I did.

I’m also glad to be done. Ha! I’m happy that I stuck with it for the full year, but.. I’m looking forward to returning to keeping my shameful failures quiet like everyone else online. When I get time I will probably go back and read through the entire year and there’s a chance I might gain some personal insights from that, so I look forward to doing that. And after a borderline belligerent 10 days in New Orleans to celebrate the fact that I’m still standing at 40, I’m also looking forward to getting back to regular exercise (which I did none of in Nola even tho I brought the running shoes :D) as well as returning to eating more like an athlete in training than an idiot with a death wish. I did yoga Thursday and got back in the gym for the first full workout of the new year today - one week after getting back from vacation.

Goals for 2019:

Heart/Mind

Some kind of dinner with people once or twice a month Keep a daily food and exercise journal Mediate 30mins/day Listen to 20 Books Read 5 Books

Career

Get the film sold at a festival Finish a feature screenplay and get lead cast attached  

Body

Zero Cigarettes Lose most of the belly flab - I just signed up for an 8 week fitness challenge at my gym :) Maintain Gym routine (4-6 days/week weights, 2-3 mile runs 1-2 days/week) Keep doing yoga once a week Keep an eye on Blood Pressure

Food

Take probiotic stomach supplements for a year.  Beef no more than once a week (taper down to once a month by end of year) Quit fast food. AKA - quit being gross, AKA quit using my organs as an industrial sludge filter    

Eat more good for your gut stuff in general (straight copying my cousin on his cabbage soup/quinoa moves)  

Booze

Alcohol limited to dinner with friends and 1 glass of wine with dinner (I did this wine w/ dinner thing for a stretch of time in the past. It worked and I like it). Not drinking makes it a lot easier to quit smoking as well - I once quit both for 9 months.. I did the one glass of wine/night all last week. It worked. And I’m cutting beer completely for the next 8 weeks so as to get fucking shredded to maximum and win $750 from this god damn fitness challenge.

I think a big part of why some people find it hard to finish writing books.. or anything is b/c they don’t feel like the end is good enough.. and maybe this end is lacking. I put off writing it for a couple weeks b/c I wanted to make it special in some way.. I wanted it to feel like an amazing ending.. but done is better than perfect and I am now done. I love y’all! I really do! Thanks for all the support!

And remember.. “when things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up.. then you neither live nor win. That’s just the way it is.” - (fictional character) Josey Wales  

Get Mean in 2019 ;)

[otakada]

#service #story #mystory #witnessing #church #marriage #5016 - 7000 What is the way of Balaam and how do we identify them in our churches today? Let explore the church in Pergamum. Discipleship 101 in the marketplace 5016 of 7000  - The obedient disciples of  Christ is a bride of Christ waiting for the return of the groom to the marriage supper of the lamb and must be kept pure without spots or wrinkles. Proverbs 3:5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;he's the one who will keep you on track.Don't assume that you know it all.Run to God! Run from evil!Your body will glow with health,your very bones will vibrate with life!Honor God with everything you own;give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst,your wine vats will brim over.But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this. Revelation 2: 12 Write this to Pergamum, to the Angel of the church. The One with the sharp-biting sword draws from the sheath of his mouth—out come the sword words: 13 "I see where you live, right under the shadow of Satan's throne. But you continue boldly in my Name; you never once denied my Name, even when the pressure was worst, when they martyred Antipas, my witness who stayed faithful to me on Satan's turf.14-15 "But why do you indulge that Balaam crowd? Don't you remember that Balaam was an enemy agent, seducing Balak and sabotaging Israel's holy pilgrimage by throwing unholy parties? And why do you put up with the Nicolaitans, who do the same thing?16 "Enough! Don't give in to them; I'll be with you soon. I'm fed up and about to cut them to pieces with my sword-sharp words.17 "Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I'll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I'll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name." Revelation 19:7-9 7 Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife