#DayOneHundredAndSeven

[happyrealities]

Playbook

Bears talk to sand in men

After I’ve seen you

Take it down

Duress any moment

You’d pretty much be a monster

Knowing…

I did in fact always love dolls

They’re magical and romantic

They teach us the way to be

If it were a shoe you’d fit in it

Untied because I was bopped

Head bobbed with a face palm

Play

Your

Beaver

Game

Mine snaps honey

I roar

I growl

I howl

I bark

I purr

Forget that last one.

Find your teammates

I’m out

I just needed your yellow clean to find my caramel stains.

He’s doing amazing.

More than a comic too.

Caballeros out.

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day One Hundred and Seven

It was a weird start to the morning. 

I think one of my eyelashes fell out and got stuck in my eye. Because something was lodged in my eye for a good 20 minutes and refused to come out with a good hand rubbing or water. 

Finally, it disappeared on its own when I was nearly done with my shower. 

Tres bizarre. 

Then I had a lovely sneezing attack from about 07:00 till...13:00. 

I guess I had bad allergies. 

It was probably my lovely dust allergy that crops up every now and then when I fish old clothing out of the backs of of my wooden cupboards.

Good times. 

I finally begged C to have mercy on me and let me have some of her Benadryll. I was a little worried it would make me drowsy while chairing MUN, but I took a risk. 

Luckily, I didn’t get drowsy.

I even enjoyed a portion of ricotta bake that C made last night and brought to work for me during lunch. 

C’s got some mad cooking skills... 

I managed to teach my classes with minimal disruptions, plan my lessons for tomorrow and chair the MUN in one fell swoop. 

Thank God SH’s daughter, CC, made a script for all the delegates and myself. It helped us all stay on task and the introduction I created at the beginning got us moving along nicely. 

CH’s advice to say ‘delegate’ quickly on repeat helped a lot! I only faltered once when I said ‘delegate’ for the entire MUN session. 

EV had a meeting and only came to the MUN in the last 15 minutes. But she and CC managed to take most of the pictures while I chaired and I took the initial pictures at the start of the session. Some of the students didn’t project their voices very well. But their English was articulate all the same, I was very impressed. 

Everyone thanked me for chairing MUN, which felt great. But honestly, I was happy to help and honoured that EV asked me last month. I’m glad I did it, and now I can add that to my teaching CV. 

AS and I walked to the grocery store after work and she enabled me right into buying something sweet at the bakery too, haha. I made some chicken strips and threw into a bowl with lettuce and salad dressing and it called it a salad. 

It didn’t turn out too badly.   

I finished watching ‘Something New’ with Sonaa Lathan and Simon Baker. 

Between the two of them, I kept changing my mind about who I fancied more. I think it was still Simon Baker overall, but Sanaa Lathan is a fucking beautiful vampire who doesn’t seem to age! 

It was a fluffy romantic movie and I liked it. It reminded me of how much I still love romance. 

I’ve kinda been avoiding it lately. 

Not intentionally though. 

It just sort of happened ever since I finished rewriting that old story of mine two weeks ago. 

I guess I felt like I needed a break. 

So I skipped romance in any form like movies and stories. 

It’s still in my head all day every day, and it’s not like I can shut off my own brain. 

I guess I’ve been blaming my love of romance for everything that went down with X. If I hadn’t been so in love with romance, I wouldn’t have put all of those ideals and expectations onto a single person, expecting that she would make all of my wildest dreams come true. 

I fell so hard for X and then fell even harder onto the jagged pieces of my heart that she broke along the way. 

I don’t want to make that same mistake again by falling in love with romance and not  falling in love with an actual person, flaws and all. 

Anyway, I guess it’s all moot since I’m moving on bit by bit. 

I’m gonna book myself into a fancy hotel for the weekend in the city and just have some ‘me time’. Maybe it’s nonsensical to throw away money on a hotel when I’m not leaving my city. But I just feel like doing it anyway. 

AM texted me out of the blue and invited me to a house party in a villa by the lake in my city, which sounds awesome. But I’m still in two minds about whether I want to go. 

One, there’s an admission fee and I’m cheap as fuck. 

Two, I kinda wanted to enjoy my ‘me time’ and I’m feeling lazy with being sociable this weekend. 

Three, as much as I enjoyed mine and AM’s last furore at a bar and night club, I still ended up puking outside of a taxi window and outside of my apartment complex because I drank too much. 

I’m kind of worried I’ll get too crazy and end up killing my drunken buzz before I can fully enjoy it. 

Then again, maybe a house party in a fancy villa by a lake is exactly what I need. It doesn’t mean I have to go bonkers and drink myself straight into an ER. 

I’d never been inside a night club before a few months ago and I’ve never been to a house party either. 

Maybe 2019 is my year to break out of my introverted shell and have a few crazy adventures along the way.  

I’ll think about it some more and let AM know by Friday. 

It’ll be Pay Day then.

This might be shaping out to be a good week after all. 

[happyrealities]

Couldn’t Be Luckier To Love You

You’re wrong

You’re song sings though

You’re swimming constantly

You’re pining for nothing ever, however

You like to strike

You hit bottom lies

You pull out the truth

I don’t want to say I love you anymore

I want to tell you my memories

Get wrapped in folded shiny sappy paper

Leaving emboldened men behind your tapper

The crowds are big for your fans

I’d like them to be drugged by the Klan

I don’t make this up

I take bold emboldened cream and pour it thoroughly in my coffee every morning

I’m a pleasant flap for stop signs.

I’ve never stopped loving you.

But you’d have to know, I’d never hit Black near you.

That means about you.

That means because of you.

That means I dole out the utmost respect for my colored grounds until it’s caramel brown.

Orange.

Red.

Whichever color sounds the best.

I’m spiked.

But their horses-

Are entwined with whom crosses the line.

The hare.

No.

I don’t love me.

I don’t love-

Just you.

I love the stories you tell.

That’s the truth.

Their fun.

Spin some more.

Wink.

‘TIL next spine…

[happyrealities]

Oops Stoop

It fell down yesterday

My mind

Just-

All over the place

Everywhere

You picked me up.

You said the biggest idea hit when I didn’t quote you while writing.

I said I’d rather be a bit better at moving up and down and all around unquoted as well.

Yet, I speak.

Hear me.

You got the point.

Don’t compare me.

I was looking at you yesterday and I figured it was better than knowing a good thing didn’t find me. It was better than understanding that a bad thing will always move me. It shakes me. Down to my core. I like to know the difference between you and I, I like to know me as good and you as bad. Then, I hurt myself to see it that way. Because all you do is protect me when you walk away. But you’ve walked away. You’ve said we were over. So why am I writing this about you? Am I supposed to accept that you are good and I am bad? I’m noticing those differences after all.

Did we get back together?

It’s a valid question.

[happyrealities]

Stop Making Me Mad On Purpose

I always forgive you!

I tell the truth.

You tell the truth.

You’re turn!

Thank you for knowing better than to compare yourself to anyone else that fills their time following you.

You should know…

I said, “No, I didn’t say that.”

You’ve been slipping.

Get your feet back to covered.

Speak, then!

Since you won’t leave…

And I swear to our holier

Socks

That better be a full set of complaints you’re wearing.

Not the end of a strong man with me.

Lord.

I try.

I do.

God.

I always have.