#Day 4: Weird new neighbor/s

[melancholy-of-nadia]

nuts. (m) | knj

title: nuts. (m) pairing: knj x reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; neighbors au , age-gap au (reader is 25, namjoon is 30); grad student au summary: Your future is clear. Pass the LSAT. Go to SNU law school. Become a prosecutor, and be successful. At least, that’s what your mother wants. But when you fail the LSAT, you have to come to terms with the fact that your mother’s wishes might not line up with your own. Out sulking in the rain after an explosive argument, help comes in the form of your sex-crazed neighbor, Kim Namjoon - the very man who’s constant moaning and fucking from next door is the reason why you became so distracted from studying! And since it’s his fault things have resulted this way, it’s only fair that he take responsibility, right? note: heavily inspired by the first 4 chapter of the korean webtoon "where the heart is" - 가족이 되어주라 , with minor dialogue and event changes note 2: this is pretty unedited lmao.... so if there are mistakes i'm so sorry. warnings: language, reader is stressed, best friend! taehyung, dialogue heavy, namjoon is cold, very much rpwp joon, joon is half naked a lot, dilf joon, slight angst, a little too relatable to a mid life crisis, a little bit of drinking, kinda rough s*x, CONSENSUAL protected s*x, cunn*lingus, finger*ng, attempted blowj*b, b*ckshots, joon is too smooth, RIDING, n*pple play, french kissing, did i mention this is her FIRST TIME, yeah and first kiss, namjoon is vague about his living situation? drop date: May 28th, 2024, 1:00pm pst word count: 6.9k crossposted on ao3 here —

“Remember, you’re the one that asked me to show you.” Namjoon’s voice is a low, steady rumble, his breath hot against your ear as he pins you down on his bed, his strong hands gripping your wrists.

If you could, you’d give anything to return to that moment. And you really mean anything. On that extremely rainy day, when your neighbor approached you, trudging through the downpour.

That unforgettable day was the first time you had sex.

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚

You pace around your bedroom, frustration bubbling up inside you. The muffled moaning, thumping and groaning coming from the other side of your wall are impossible to ignore. You’re so done! You try to distract yourself, playing some lofi beats softly in the background but no, the noise is relentless, making it hard to focus on anything else.

How are you going to manage to pass your exam to get into law school if all you can hear is the fucking from next door? You need to get into law school and if you don’t, your mom is going to kill you. 

With a huff, you throw yourself onto your bed, staring at the ceiling in exasperation. Grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you unlock it and open the KakaoTalk app. You scroll through your contacts until you find Kim Taehyung, your best friend. If there's anyone who can offer some comfort or at least a distraction, it's him.

You begin typing furiously, your thumbs flying over the keyboard as you pour out your endless complaints and rants.

But all of a sudden, there’s a quietness. Huh? What’s going on? Why did the sounds suddenly stop?

You get up and lean your head against the wall, hearing a murmuring from people on the other side. You try to make out the words. Turn… Around…?

Wait. Turn Around?! Your face flushes in embarrassment from hearing these words and thinking about the implications of them.

The ding of a new text from Taehyung yanks you out of the depths of your mind and you yell, dropping your phone on your bed. A few seconds later, your mom opens the door to your bedroom. “Y/N, I brought you some snacks...”

“Mom!” You yell this time, startled by her sudden appearance and taking a deep breathe. “You… scared me.”

“Why are you so jumpy? Don’t tell me you’re looking at something weird again.” She scowls at you.

You grab your phone, faking a phone call with Taehyung. “H-Hey, you don’t have to yell into the phone like that. You startled me Tae!” You can't have her getting suspicious or hearing the sounds from next door.

Her scowl deepens. “You were reading those gay japanese comics again, weren’t you?”

“No, of course not, I was talking to Taehyung..!” you whisper urgently, hoping to divert her attention.

That was one time! Months ago, might you add! You should’ve never left your phone face up while you went to pick up your package from the front door. She doesn’t seem convinced by your excuse and sighs in exasperation.

You get up, head toward the front door of your apartment and slip on your slides. “Mom, I’m gonna step out for a bit and talk to Tae on the phone.”

“Be back in 30 minutes then,” she responds, her tone softening slightly.

You close the door behind you, leaning against it with a sigh of relief. That was close. If your mom ever found out you were eavesdropping on what the guy next door was doing, you'd never hear the end of it. You look at your phone again and check Taehyung's text.

You sigh, walking over to lean against the railing on the veranda, overlooking the city from the 4th floor.

The summer sun is bright and the heat is strong as it hits your skin. It’s been a while since you’ve had such a nice day. You’ve mostly been stuck inside studying. But despite not many people out and about, it’s so noisy. It’s all these cicadas.. And if you’re being completely honest, the noises from next door are nowhere near as loud as these damn cicadas. Your neighbors’ sounds are so faint that you have to press your head against the wall and yet, you’re the one who can’t stop eavesdropping on what’s happening next door.

You look at your phone again as you hear another text notification. You appreciate Tae trying to lighten up the situation, but you don’t want him to make too much of a fuss over it.

You begin to type a response: Nah, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll try to ignore the moaning… Before your finger hits send, It's in this moment that you hear a creak from a door opening behind you. You instinctively turn to view the source of the sound.

And there he is.

It’s your neighbor, pulling up an unlit cigarette to his lips as he walks to stand against the veranda railing for a smoke break. He wears gray shorts, his short-sleeved black shirt unbuttoned, with a full display of his upper body, abs and all. Wait, his abs? Chest? Oh my god, he’s basically naked.

He looks exactly like one of those dilf or daddy dom characters you read about in manga. Strong, commanding, and ridiculously hot. These men really do exist…

“Huh?” you end up saying out loud, which makes him look at you in confusion.

Fuck fuck fuck. What’s wrong with you? Eyeing your neighbor like this!? In a panic from being caught checking him out, you suddenly lean too far against the railing and feel yourself slowly falling off. Huh?! 

You try to grab relentlessly at the air for some sort of hold as a last resort, but it’s useless. 

Is this really it!?

You brace yourself, heart racing, but before you can comprehend what’s happening, a strong arm grabs you, pulling you back to safety. You find yourself pressed against someone’s chest, a strong male hand still gripping your arm firmly.

Holy fuck that scared you half to death!! When you turn your head, you see that it is your neighbor who saved you. What? How did he—? Before you can conjure up more questions, your eyes slowly look down and you are against his check. Holy shit… you never realized how broad he is. “Hey. You can move now,” he says, his voice deep and unamused. You nod, your face flushing with embarrassment as you quickly step back, putting some distance between the two of you. “O-Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to… um, fall.” Goddamn it, get it together, Y/N. “Thanks… you pretty much saved my life.” As you fully take a good look at him, you realize you had no idea he was hiding this hot ass body under those baggy t-shirts you always see him wear. But holy shit, he’s ripped. He may be some sex fiend, but no wonder he’s been getting all that action. You don’t realize you are still staring at him, frozen in your spot. But before he can say something, you hear another voice approaching.

“Hyung, when are you coming back inside?” A shorter male with a smaller build and blonde hair appears, his casual demeanor catching you off guard. Huh? A guy? “I’m just going to take a shower,” the guy continues, and this is when you notice he’s also shirtless. What?! “Sure, go ahead. I’ll head back inside after this smoke. Go on in,” your neighbor says nonchalantly, his gaze dropping briefly before returning to you.

No way… does he sleep with men too? Before you can unravel the tangled web of questions in your mind, your phone starts ringing. You check to see the caller ID is Taehyung.

"Hel–” “Hey! Y/N! Why aren’t you texting back?!” Taehyung interrupts, his voice loud and concerned. “Don’t tell me you went over to your neighbor’s place by yourself!” Fuck, not right now! “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about… Sh-Shut up…” You whisper aggressively, pleading to God that he gets the idea that you cannot be talking about this right now! “You’re the one that told me he’s a sleazy fuck boy that has sex with a different person every day!” Taehyung, oblivious to your situation, yells out. Did you mention you were on speaker? … oh.

Oh, fuck.

Without missing a beat and looking back, you hurriedly retreat inside your apartment. Despite not seeing his reaction, you could very well feel his eyes on you. Fuck…this is so embarrassing. Initially, it was just the sounds, and now this? This summer just got a whole lot more complicated. ╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚

After that day, you felt like you were in some kind of spy movie with the way you kept trying to avoid ever seeing the guy next door again. Every time you had to go outside, it was a mission of stealth and timing. Is he out there? Or is he not? You’ve tried to calculate and observe the times you’d hear him leave.

However, four days after the incident, as you walk out the door of your apartment, you find yourself face-to-face with him.

Shit.

There’s a long, awkward silence as you stare at each other before you finally break it.

“Uh, hello.”

No response. He slides a cigarette from the box and places it in his mouth, lighting it up and ignoring you as he looks out at the city, leaning against the railing. He’s on another smoke break, you say to yourself.

The way he can’t even casually say “hello” back to you just once? Be serious!

You groan, turn around, and decide to head to your old college library to get some more studying done before the LSAT in four days.

As you walk away, you catch a glimpse of him giving you a side glance before puffing out a cloud of smoke and sighing. ––––––––––––––––––––

On the day you got your LSAT results, the rain was so heavy that it felt like the raindrops could pierce through the walls of your rickety old apartment building.

The day when everything happened in a flash.

Coming home. Having to tell your mom you failed the LSAT. Having to tell her that you won’t be able to get into law school just yet. “Y/N, you graduated with honors from Seoul National University. There’s no need to be so disappointed just because you didn’t pass your law school exam.” She pleads, squeezing your hands. “You know I’m not asking for too much from you. All I want is for you to graduate from your university’s law school and become a prosecutor. That’s all I hope for, really.” This is pissing you off. She thinks that this is supposed to comfort you when it’s only adding to the pressure. “That’s all you hope for…?” you spat, words laced with bitterness, “You’re the one putting these burdens on me because you couldn’t be the one to do this.” “What…?”

Does she not get it? This was never your dream to begin with. All these years of studying, being the top student, going to the best university in the country, striving to get to law school… it wasn’t what you wanted to do at all. This was something your mom wanted for herself, but she couldn’t do because she got with your dad, gave it up and had you.

“You want me to live the life you would’ve had… for the rest of my life? I never asked for that!” You yell out, tears falling, frustration taking over.

You haphazardly put on your slide and leave out the front door with a slam, not giving your mother a moment to respond. However, she doesn’t chase after you. She stands there, stunned, only looking at the food and broken pieces of glass and plates that scatter your bedroom floor from the fight.

As if anything could make this worse, when you stand outside, you see your terrible and hot neighbor on a smoke break on the veranda. He turns when he hears your door automatically open and lock, then looks at you.

Dammit… He’s the last person you wanted to see you like this. You wipe your tears with your forearm, hoping that it’s not obvious that you’ve reached one of the lowest points in your whole life at the ripe age of 25. This is so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, your face—” He begins, but you immediately scurry away down the stairs, out of the apartment complex. ╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ You run. And run. Running as far as your legs and your cheap worn-out slides could take you. As exhaustion overcomes you, you stop and glance around. Oh, you’re at a park down the street? You take a deep breath for the first time realizing you don’t know what you’re even trying to achieve. Ha…this is so stupid. You sigh, taking cover under a slide in the playground, shivering as you hug your knees. After the adrenaline rush goes away, your body is now noticing that you’re cold. It’s no wonder since you’re drenched in the rain. You realize your eyes are probably puffy too from the outburst earlier. Things are starting to come back to you.

As you sit there continuing to watch the rain pitter patter against the playground and the sand, you hear footsteps approaching you. When you look up, you see that it’s him. Your sex fiend hot ass neighbor, holding an umbrella.

Your tear ducts start flowing tears once again. “Y-You startled me…” You sniffle, rubbing your eyes with the palm of your hand. “What’re you just standing there for? If you came here to mock me, then go ahead and laugh all you want.” He looks down, seeing your clothes completely soaked. He notices that your white t-shirt has become transparent, letting him see your nipples perking out. Goddamit, he thinks, looking away. “Here.” He places the umbrella next to you, now covering you from the downpour and walks away. “Ah..” Your hand reaches out to his figure as he slowly moves further from you. Something about him calls out to you. You don’t know what, and you can’t explain it. Maybe you should follow him back home for now. 

And you do.

You make it back to the apartment and up the stairs to the floor where the both of you live. As he unlocks his door and enters, you call out to him before the door can close. “Hey, wait…” Maybe you should go in and just give back his umbrella. Nah, you shouldn’t go into a stranger’s house. “Close the door if you’re not going to come in.” He calls to you from the inside.

And so, the door clunks shut, and now you’re inside. This is incredibly awkward. “To be honest, I didn’t think you were coming in,” he says, his voice low and slightly hoarse as he wipes his wet hair with a small towel. Droplets of rainwater cling to his skin, accentuating the contours of his jawline and the muscles in his arms. “Guess you changed your mind.”

“Well... I still had your umbrella, and... I can’t exactly go home right now,” you say carefully, fidgeting with your hands before crossing your arms under your breasts. His eyes flicker down for a moment, lingering on your figure before meeting yours again. “Could you lend me a towel, please?” you ask, shivering involuntarily as a chill runs down your spine.

He looks away, his expression unreadable, before sighing and handing you the towel he was just using. The fabric is warm from his body heat, and a faint scent of his cologne lingers on it. “Just use this to wipe yourself off.” Uh, why would he give me the one he was just using? And what’s with the sigh? “I don’t care if the floor gets wet, so you can go sit in the living room,” he suggests before walking into the bathroom, his figure disappearing behind the door. The sound of running water fills the air, mingling with the steady rhythm of the rain outside.

“Alrighty then…”

For the first time since entering his home, you take a moment to observe your surroundings. It’s a pretty ordinary looking small apartment...

No, it’s not. His kitchen table is riddled with bottles of soju and books lying around, their pages curled and yellowed with age. There’s laundry that has gotten stiff on the drying rack from who knows how long it has been there, giving the room a slightly musty smell.

You shouldn’t be so judgmental. It’s not like you live here anyway.

A better observation you note are the several paintings hanging up on the wall. Some look like contemporary Korean art pieces that you recognize from reading art books you enjoy during your free time. One is Sung Yeon-Woong’s “Korean People - I Love You,” 2022. The monochrome colors and bold strokes of the people embracing each other in the nude captivate your attention, momentarily drawing you in.

You’ve always liked art and wanted to pursue it, but those dreams were locked away when…

The illusion of being at an art museum fades, and you’re suddenly reminded of where you are when you feel your wet underwear sticking to you. It feels gross and icky, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to your skin.

You plop onto his living room floor, which you realize is also a makeshift gym area when you spot dumbbells of various weights beside you. The metal gleams dully under the soft glow of the overhead lights, a testament to their frequent use. Your hand moves against something and you notice a card on the floor. When you grab it, you realize what it is. His student ID card from Seoul National University?! He went to the College of Engineering? Or does he still go?

Woah? You’re from different departments, but it���s the same school. What the fuck… You had absolutely no idea. This is also the first moment you find out what his name is: Kim Namjoon.Bachelor’s DegreeCollege of EngineeringChemical Engineering Chemical engineering? He doesn’t look like one. Also why would he just leave his student ID lying around like this?

“Go and take a shower. I can’t have you catching a cold in my house,” Namjoon requests, coming out of the bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower. You slide his ID card back on the floor pretending you didn’t see anything. “Here, change into these clothes after.” “Oh, okay–” Your words are cut short when he throws a gray t-shirt and shorts on top of your head.

You can’t tell if he’s being nice or a complete jerk. When you walk into the bathroom and close the door, you finally notice in the mirror that you’re not wearing a bra.

“AHHHHHHH!” You scream internally over your stupidity and lack of rationality. How could you be this careless? How could you forget that you weren’t wearing a bra! Hold up, did Namjoon notice and not say a thing?! Oh god… This guy isn’t nice or a jerk. He’s a straight up sex machine. A fucking sex fiend pervert.

You can’t believe you just willingly stepped into a minefield. But wait! You can get out of here without any trouble so long as you keep your head straight.

Or not… you don’t have anywhere else to go. You don’t want to burden Tae with your shit. Sigh. Just be cautious Y/N and avoid eye contact as much as possible. You’ll get through this! After your shower and change of clothes, you walk out of the bathroom and see him on his futon bed sipping his beer and watching a variety show on his laptop. You plop down next to him, trying to pretend all is normal, but it’s not. Shit, this is still awkward. How can you become less aware of the situation you’re in? You notice an unopened beer can on his table and crawl over to grab it. Oh! This can work. He’s not going to mind, right? When you do that, Namjoon notices your exposed crotch in the loose shorts he gave you and begins choking on his beer. He can’t believe you didn’t put on your wet underwear again and are just walking around bare like that. Huh? What’s up with him... you think, confused, but not surprised. You crack it open and take a few sips.

You know what, everything will be fine if you keep a clear head. Clear thoughts. Clear mind.

Yeah, you can do that.

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚

She hasn't even finished her beer and already looks out of it, Namjoon thinks to himself, sighing. He reaches over and takes the beer can from your hand. “Hey, you’ve had enough to drink,” he says firmly. “I’ll get you some blankets, so just lie—”

“Honestly... It’s partially your fault...” you interrupt, your voice slurring slightly as you crawl over to him, suddenly pushing him onto the bed. Your movements are unsteady, but you manage to straddle him, arms planted on either side of his head. “...that I flunked my exam.” Namjoon is caught off guard by your sudden action, his eyes wide with surprise. He stares up at you, at a loss for words. “What the hell are you talking about? What did I do?” Namjoon asks, his confusion evident. “What are you on about? Why are you suddenly acting crazy.” “Get off m—”

“Is it fun... to live the way you do?” you interrupt, your tone dripping with a mix of sass and bitterness.

“What?” “If it’s that exciting... then can you show me how to live like you?” Your hands move to his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath his shirt.

“What exactly are you saying?” Namjoon grabs your right arm, but you swat it away.

“Well, you seem so carefree, and all you ever do is sleep with different people every day.” You scoff, your frustration bubbling over. Namjoon chuckles, a humorless sound, as he grabs your wrists and effortlessly flips you over, pinning you beneath him. Now, you’re the one looking up at him from the bed, stunned and embarrassed, and suddenly sobered up.

“I don’t know what’s going through that head of yours, but what makes you think you can say that when you don’t know anything about me?” His words are laced with annoyance. “And just to be clear, I have no reason to sit here and listen to you judge me, no matter what I do. If you’re so unhappy with your life, then do whatever you want. No one’s forcing you to live that way.”

You tremble slightly, anger and humiliation mixing as you look away. “You don’t know anything!” 

You smack his chest with your fists, but he doesn’t flinch. “Figures you wouldn’t understand since you do whatever the hell you want all the time!”

Namjoon sighs, clearly reaching the end of his patience. “Does this seem like the home of someone who’s content and living life on their own terms, to you?” He gestures around the room, his hands clenching the sheets beneath you. You have nothing else to combat his question with, so you pout and look away. Namjoon’s not going to let you get what you want though, and grabs your jaw to turn you to face him again. “Fine. If you really want to know, then I’ll show you.”

Keeping you pinned, Namjoon leans in, his lips inches from yours. 

Your heart races, and you freeze in place. You’ve never kissed anyone before in your life. But before you can feel his mouth against yours, he notices you flinch and decides to pull back, creating distance between you once again.

“You know what? You should just leave.” He chuckles, feeling the ridiculousness of the situation he’s found himself in. “Haha.. What was I thinking? There’s no way I’m doing anything like that with someone like you.”

Before he has the chance to get off from straddling you, your hands grab at his shirt and push him forward.

“W-Why am I the one who has to live like this?” You start to hiccup, tears streaming down your face once again. Why are you being like this? How many times have you cried today?

“What’re you talking about? Let go.”

This only makes you pull him even closer. “And you!! Why did you stop?! Why? Man, woman, old, young! I know you’ll sleep with anyone... so why not me?”

“The hell are you talking about?! I told you to let go!” He grabs at your wrists, trying to remove their grasp on his shirt gently. “You just… you just feel sorry for me… I know I may not be good enough. I might be a lousy daughter, not as conventionally attractive as other girls, and I’m painfully aware of my shortcomings just as a member of society… but still!”

“You’re driving me nuts here…”

“Fuck… it’s not like I want to live this way.” You cover your eyes with your forearm, sobbing.

“You’re fine as you are,” Namjoon says softly, the gentlest thing he’s said all day.

“What did you say?”

“I mean you’re good enough. In fact, you’re plenty good enough, okay? So stop crying and let go of my shirt, please.” He says, gently grabbing hold of your chin.

“Then... do you want to have sex with me as well?” Your face reddens, asking boldly.

Namjoon internally fights with himself, thinking about what he’s even supposed to do with you.

“Yeah, I do. Just not today,” he answers.

You turn your head to the side. “Liar. You don’t want to have sex with me.”

“I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret,” he tells you honestly, looking into your eyes.

You glare at him, and for the hundredth time today, he sighs.

“Okay, fine, fine. Let’s do it,” he declares.

“Wait..Really...?”

He looks at you, seeing your innocent expression. “You better not come crying to me afterward.”

Namjoon takes his shirt off, revealing his whole upper body in full view. His skin glistens slightly in the dim light, each muscle defined and firm.

“I’m saying this because it seems like you’re completely misunderstanding the situation, but I’ve already told you ‘no’ like a hundred times.”

You look at him, dazed, mesmerized by his pecs and defined abdominal muscles. As he nears closer to you, you think he’s actually going to kiss you this time, until he moves down, licking your collarbones. His hand squeezes your breasts

And I held back at least ten times, he thinks inwardly.

His right hand lifts the t-shirt, your breast coming into full view, jiggling from the action.

You’re the one that kept provoking me, so this is partly on you.

“Mmph..ah..” You moan out, and quickly cover your mouth.

“What’re you doing?” “Well, they can hear me moan next door…” You say, muffled. Namjoon looks at you as if you’re insane, “Your voice won’t carry through these walls that easily unless you let out a scream.” “Oh..” “Be honest. You were eavesdropping by pressing your ear to the wall, weren’t you?” He begins questioning.

Fuck.

He continues, “Unless there’s another pervert like you living in this building, then you don’t have to worry. No one will hear a thing.”

Oh. This changes everything, actually.

Namjoon suddenly turns you over, removing your shorts and pulling your ass up. “Y-You didn’t have to do that so suddenly! Or you could’ve at least turned the lights off..”

Namjoon stares blankly at your naked figure, then slowly rustles his hands in his shorts to put on an unopened condom he had lying.

“W-What are you doing?”

Is this what you think it is? I’ve only seen them in comics…

What… holy shit..

“W-Wait!” You move away towards the wall. 

“What now?” Namjoon groans, but then you leaned back up and start observing the large cock that he just pulled out from his shorts. 

Are they normally this big? But then again, you remember reading and watching hentai where the bottom characters struggle to take in a large penis… “Do you want to suck me off?” He looks down at you, overshadowing you as you appear small and curious.

Do I? Should I?

Your tongue peeps out and gives it one lick. Oh. Oh no. Oh god, that tasted gross. You start to cough and gag.

“Don’t you think it’s a little rude to gag like that when you’re giving someone a blowjob?”

“Then how do you expect me to react? The rubber tastes super weird! Have you tried liking one of these? Of course you haven’t!”

“It’s a condom, it’s supposed to taste like that. What, did you think it was going to taste like vanilla?”

“So you DO know what it tastes like…”

“Why would I? You know what? Forget it, what would I expect from you?” He leans forward and pushes you down on the bed again. He lifts your legs up in the air and settles in between them. 

“W-What’re you doing?!”

“What do you think? You keep getting distracted. I’m helping you concentrate”  He spreads you open on his tongue and licking every sensitive dip and corner he can reach. His tongue is warm and firm no matter where he licks, and only softens up when he goes to lick a flat stripe up your slit, essentially sucking up all of the wet you’re offering him and savoring it through whimpered groans at the way your legs attempt to squeeze around his head.

“Ah.. no! Wait! This is way too embarrassing..”

He pays no attention and continues at his task.

He knew you’d taste good but this is on a whole other level. He can’t help it when he grips your thighs and spreads your legs out further, and he certainly can’t help himself when he prods his tongue into you, trying to taste more of what you have to offer. 

“Ah!” You can feel his tongue dipping in, and the way he grips your thighs renders you nearly useless if you were to try and wiggle away, not that you’d ever want to but it almost tickles with how good it feels. Your legs begin to shake in his grasp, and he only spreads them further at that, tilting his head at an angle to suck and lick into you even deeper.

“I kinda figured you weren’t all that into this because you kept going on about stuff like how the condom tastes and feeling embarrassed. But you’re getting so wet I guess you are a little turned on…”

“That’s enough,” You sigh out, reaching down frantically to hold his head in place so that you can grind your hips forward against his stiffened tongue. 

“Yeah. Since, both you and me… are getting impatient…” Namjoon’s fingers are instantly at your entrance, sliding in so easily that it nearly makes you forget that you even told him to do it. His fingers are slender, and each joint on the digits are felt against your aching and gripping walls. The sounds of squelching only turn you on even more. “We might as well cut to the chase.”

He takes out his fingers, now moving them to hold his length. “This, might hurt a little.”

You look at him puzzled before you gasp, feeling a sudden pressure from beneath you. “Huh!? W-Wait, it won’t go in! I said it won’t go in!” Your handle trembles, grabbing onto the bedsheets harshly.

“It already is.”

No way.

“Ah… wait, really? It’s all the way in…?”

It has to be all the way in. It’s feeling really tight right now and you can’t imagine how the whole thing can’t be inside. You glance down at your cunt, seeing the point where you and him connect. Oh.

“No. Not all the way in.” He scratches his head. “You can tell me anything if you’re feeling too tired or just wanna call it quits. And I’ll stop.”

Arrogant little…

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! I’m totally fine! I can’t even feel you inside me…”

There, the two of you look at each other for a brief moment before you feel him suddenly start to thrust forward again, sliding his cock further into your drenched core. You let out a whimper.

Then, giving you no time to adjust to his whole size, he takes his cock out and quickly pulls you up and spreads you into doggy style, pinning your hands behind him. Without warning, he roughly thrusts into you, feeling yourself being split apart by his huge, thick cock. 

“Ah! Ungh…F-Fuck!” You moan, tears beginning to prick from overstimulation. His hips thrust brutally against your own at a set rhythmic pace, pulling almost all the way out before ruthlessly drilling back into you, it would probably be more painful if it wasn’t for your dripping arousal creating your very own lube and his fat cock hitting the right spot with every thrust.

“I thought. You said. You were. Fine?” He thrusts repeatedly, with each word being punctuated by a thrust.

He comes to a slow stop and you don’t respond, your lips agape as you remain stuck in a euphoric daze from how good this pleasure feels. You’ve never done this before. You’ve only read it in literature, watch it from hentai… but holy shit, does the real thing not compare.

“You’re making so much noise, I bet the whole neighborhood knows we’re going at it.” Namjoon whispers in your ear with a teasing tone.

Fuck!? You immediately cover your mouth and turn to face him, which makes Namjoon chuckle at your cute behavior, grabbing your hand. “No one’s actually gonna hear us with the rain pounding like this”, he thinks internally.

Namjoon takes this opportunity to switch positions and place you on top of him. You sit there with your legs on either side. Glancing down, you notice that his cock is still hard and it rubs against your clit, making you more and more impatient for him to keep on fucking you. 

He moves you forward a bit and raises your hips so he can line your entrance with his tip. For Namjoon, he needed to see you come undone. He deserved it after all the nonsense you kept scolding him about. And there’s nothing more satisfying than the moan you let out when the tip is in. His cock stretches you out once again, filling you in all the right areas, making you pant and whine from the girth. He grunts as you sink further down his cock. His hands grip your ass, pushing his cock in deeper and deeper before pulling back up, all in a rhythmic motion. The sheer tightness of his grip on your ass was sure to leave bruises tomorrow, but he was the last person to care.

You gasp when he lifts you up, almost pulling out with only his tip still inside, before bringing you down and slamming back into your cunt. A loud moan exits your lips and you throw your head back from the static of pleasure that shoots through your body. You grip his biceps in an attempt to ground yourself, your manicured nails dug into his skin and leave long scratches.

“Ah!!” You scream as the squelching and thumps get louder, making your pussy tighten around him even more. “Ungh, ah! W-Wait! I feel strange–!”

What is this feeling?! Is it what you think it is... It’s only with one more thrust hitting your cervix that leads you to your answer.

“F-Fuck…daddy!” As if on cue, the knot that had been building in your stomach pops, and your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your cunt clenches around his cock and your mouth flies open in a silent scream, thick and clear cum gushing on his cock.

Namjoon is surprsied by you using the word ‘daddy’, but continues at his ministrations, licking against your chest now and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth as you shake amid your orgasm. You continue your strong hold on his shoulders.

“Agh… I want you to stop squeezing so tightly.” He slowly holds you up and removes his dick from inside you. He removes his condom and discards it in the nearby bin.

“Huh? What did you say…? You want me to what?” You’re completely out of it, your mind fogged by the sex, and perhaps some remnants of alcohol. “Kiss you?”

“Huh? No, that’s not what I—” Namjoon starts to protest, but before he can finish, you gently grab his chin and press your lips against his.

The kiss catches him off guard. Your lips are soft and hesitant, trembling slightly. Namjoon’s initial shock gives way to a moment of stillness, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts. For a brief second, he almost kisses you back, but then he pulls away, his hands firmly but gently pushing you back.

“Holy shit, that was my first kiss…” you murmur, panic setting in. “I can’t believe it’s with some older guy like you!”

Namjoon sighs, exhaling sharply. “You’re not even trying to hide it, huh?” He gently grabs your cheeks, squishing them with his hand. “I figured as much, so I was trying to be considerate. And then you went and kissed me first.”

“If that’s what you were thinking, then you should’ve just told—”

“Too late for that,” he interrupts, taking his turn to kiss you. This time, he doesn’t hold back, shoving his tongue inside your mouth. The kiss is intense and demanding, catching you completely off guard.

Your mind blanks out, every thought drowned by the sensation of his lips and tongue moving against yours. His hands move to the back of your head, tangling in your hair, pulling you closer. You can’t help but moan softly into the kiss, the sound swallowed by his mouth.

Namjoon’s kiss is forceful, almost punishing, as if he’s trying to prove a point. You can feel the frustration and desire in every movement, in the way his hands grip your hair, in the way his tongue explores your mouth with a fervent urgency. You try to keep up, but your inexperience makes it hard, and you end up just following his lead, letting him control the kiss.

When he finally pulls back, both of you are breathing heavily. His eyes are dark, filled with a mix of emotions you can’t quite decipher. “There,” he says, his voice rough. “Now you know. Your first kiss isn’t something to take lightly. Understand?”

You nod, still trying to catch your breath, your heart pounding in your chest. The room feels like it’s spinning, and you’re starting to feel more sleepy as the seconds pass.

Namjoon sighs again, softer this time, and releases your cheeks, his fingers trailing down to your neck. “Just… think things through before you act next time, alright?”

You nod again, feeling a strange mix of embarrassment and exhilaration. This wasn’t how you imagined your first kiss, but something about it feels right, even if you can’t fully understand why.

He leans back, giving you some space, and you both sit in silence for a moment, the weight of what just happened hanging in the air.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice gentler now, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.

“Yeah,” you whisper, still trying to process everything. “I think so.”

“Good,” he says, leaning back against the headboard. “We can talk more in the morning. For now, just get some rest.”

You nod, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over you. Despite everything, you feel safe with him, and that’s enough for now. As you lie down beside him, the exhaustion of the day finally catches up with you, and you drift off to sleep, the taste of his kiss still lingering on your lips.

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ “I… uh, I’ll wash these clothes and return them to you later,” you say to Namjoon as he walks you to his door. The hallway outside his apartment is dimly lit, casting long shadows that dance across the walls.

“...Don’t. You can keep them or, better yet, throw them away.” His voice is calm, yet firm, as if he’s making a point.

“Um, okay. If you say so. Then I guess I’ll do whatever I want with them. Thanks for letting me stay over. And I’m sorry for saying and assuming things about you.” You glance up at him, feeling the weight of your earlier accusations hang between you.

“The assumptions you made about me being a sex fiend when it was just me inviting my friends over for a gym workout?” He arches an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“What?!” Your eyes widen in shock. Holy shit… were those groans actually grunts from them heavy-lifting those dumbbells and workout gear in the living room? It can’t be. It had to have been something else, right? “Are you being serious?!”

Namjoon chuckles, a low, rumbling sound that makes your cheeks burn. “I’ll see you around, girl next door.” You groan at him shooing you away.

“It’s Y/N...”

“Alright, Y/N,” he says, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing glint.

You realize he still hasn’t told you his name, but you already know it. You nod awkwardly and step back, your mind still reeling from his revelation. As you turn to leave, you hear the door click shut behind you. The rain has stopped, and the cool morning air feels refreshing against your flushed skin. You stand there for a moment, processing everything that’s happened. How the fuck can you go back to your regular life after that? Even Namjoon must think it’s insane that he just got tangled up with his younger neighbor.

You’ve both completely gone nuts.

-

-

-

a/n: ahhhhh the fic made it out of my brain! wow. i had read this webtoon last week right before rpwp came out and i thought how the male character was lowkey namjoon coded. and then when i heard nuts... oh you know i just had to cook this up! though i would like to add that the webtoon i based this off of goes in a completely different direction with different several plot elements added, and it's still ongoing, so this was just inspo from the first 4 chapters. thank you all for the support and for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist for future works! ➸ check out one of my current ongoing fic series "love u lately"

[undertale-fic-librarby]

✨Do you have any fic for anti harem skeletons x reader? I read there’s still magic by rosescry and have been dying to find more!✨

Howdy, thanks for asking! Here are some fics that might fit what you're looking for!

Babysitting with Extra Morbid Steps by charamelwrites (Teen And Up, Incomplete)

Act 1 (Chapter 1-25): Papyrus is dead. Frisk can't reset. Sans was losing his mind. His only solution was to pull through alternate versions of him until he finds him again. Unfortunately, you're the one in charge of babysitting your best friend and his dead brother's alternate versions. Act 2 (Chapter 26-?): Friendship and romance was the last thing on your mind. But the longer you spend time with the skeletons, the deeper you get entangled in their lives.

One Step At A Time by FuCkInG_FaBuLoUs (Explicit, Incomplete)

New City. New neighborhood. New Neighbors. New Job. New friends. New life. You wanted all this and more when you moved to Ebbot city, hoping to escape everyone and everything. Freedom was the only thing in your mind's eye. And, freedom was fucking amazing, for the first few days, but then you met an army of skeleton monsters and their bat-shit crazy, absolute psycho, probably an escaped asylum prisoner girlfriend Rachel. Lovely name for an absolute dumpster fire of a woman. But, she wasn't any of your business, so, as long as you kept your head down and carried on with your life, she wouldn't become a problem. And, for a while, she wasn't, but then you saw just how horribly she treated her 'boyfriends', and you knew you couldn't play the role of the bystander any longer. Knock Knock, Rachel, say hello to your new neighbor.

Runnin Down a Dream by TwilightStarChaser (Mature, Incomplete)

Good Morning Starshine! Can’t help noticing how burnt out and ran down you’ve been lately! So I’ve taken it upon myself to fix this problem of yours; free of charge. Now let’s see, where can we go...ah! How about the Undertale universe? It seems they have an opening. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you! After all, we all deserve a vacation!! Undertale is real? This worlds version of you is dead... The voices in your head are...real? All you’d wanted was a little break from your 3 jobs. Now you’re the focal point amid a crumbling harem. What actually happened to the other you? *UPDATE* Earlier chapters are currently being edited. Any future alerts will likely be in regards to a chapter being reposted. Chap1-4 Updated.

The skeleton (Glock'enspiel) dance by Okami_Norino (Mature, Incomplete)

You are a street musician who can play the incredible but not enough well appreciated glockenspiel. Life isn’t that bad especially after the monsters returned the city after being exiled in the exterior part of the country, it wasn’t pretty for the monsters, they basically lived in a mountain until they were helped to return human society by a child named Frisk that now works as a ambassador for monsters alongside with a carrier in politics just like Frisk’s father… Like father Like Son, after all you also chose your passion in life after admiring your father and his love for music. Sans your friend for 2 years is acting weird after reciving the untimely unannounced visit from all his 'cousins' that looks similar to him ans his brother Papyrus. Well, they are monsters and that's maybe normal for them... after all all the temmies and Froggits looks the same to you. You don't really care about it... except for the small but troublesome detail that Sans' family does hate you, they act as if you are disgusting and are trying to get you away from your friend... Why are those skeletons trying to kill you?

Too Kind For Your Own Good by balicor (Explicit, Incomplete)

Getting accepted into 'New Ebbot Monsters and Mortals University' seemed like a dream come true... at least until you see what the rent around there is. When an old friend reaches out with a place to stay, how can you say no? All she wants for rent is for you to keep the place tidy and cook meals every so often. Even when her roommates turn out to be her boyfriends, and her boyfriends turn out to have some weird hatred of you, staying in a goddamned mansion is a great deal. So long as you stay kind, you know you'll win them over. Right?

Thanks for the recommendation! The fic being recommended is…

There's Still Magic by RosesCry (Teen And Up, Complete)

At first, it seemed like a dream come true when your old friend offered to let you live with her and her….. friends? in their big ole house during college. For a small amount of rent of course, it was the cheapest option by far. But…. then… you started seeing behind the curtain…. …. And you really didn't like what you saw….

Here's a few more fics that are similar to what you're asking for!

[sweetismyaddiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist

SUCROSE

Paring: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Where the nicknames came from, how they meet, starts. (They live in the same building, in the same corridor, just in front of one another… which helps the friendship but couldn't stop Dr. Reid from falling in love)

Word account: 2005

Warnings: Fluff, friends to lovers, anxiety, mentions of menstruation and coffee facts?

A/N: English is not my first language. Reblog, like and comment. I am accepting suggestions for next parts. Please be nice. Past in italic. Gif is not mine, credits to the owner.

Chapter 2: Sugary

Spencer’s point of view

It has been weeks since Morgan met my neighbor and he can’t just drop it aside. At least he has capited a secret so far.

“I am just curious. That 's all. The girl has the key of your place and you never mentioned her.”

“I did talk about her…”

It's a murmur, Morgan almost can't hear it, maybe things were better when no one knew she existed besides me.

“She called you Sugarpout… Does Pretty Boy have a Lady?”

There is mocking in his tone, and a little of happiness.

“What exactly are you asking Morgan?”

“Are you two dating?”

“She is my friend, we ain't dating”

“Oh, pitty, she is beautiful, maybe I should gave a shot, she is very talkative”

“Leave the girl alone Derek.”

“Why? Are you jealous? Worried that I stil her? We could be your couple's best friend. Me and her would make cute babies”

“I am not jealous. Just shut up”

He leaves me be, we take care of paperwork, but he can't stop, it's like I can hear the engineers of his brain thinking.

“Ok, I just really got to know, where Sugarpout came from? I can't stop thinking about that”

“Why? Is just a nickname”

“A special nickname”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Why so much secret?”

The truth is, I don’t really know why, where, when it all started. Is if we have being knowing each other even before we existed.

—----------------------------------------------------------

It was a rainy day, and I was just getting to my building when a strange woman got under my umbrella tugging herself at me.

“My savior. Could you leave me there? To that building?”

Was my building… is she a stalker?

“Sorry for just throwing myself at you. Is just I am made from sugar, so I could have melted with the rain”

Ok, she gots a weird sense of humor. Doesn’t she know about the danger of talking with strangers? That is one of the reasons I get so much work to do. She smells nice though… What am I thinking? Why is she staring at me? Say something Spencer!

“Ahn… yes… I was just going that way too.”

We walk together to the building and she opens the door, almost closing it in my face.

“Sorry. Why are you coming in?”

“I live here”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that. I am a new resident. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too”

She didn’t try to shake my hand… so she respects boundaries and personal space the same way she doesn’t do that? She is so confusing, she seems like a very complex human being.

We both get to the elevator and she presses the button… is my floor button… How I didn’t know about someone moving to my floor? Maybe because I spent the last three days away in a case. The elevator stops and she gets out with me behind her, observing her body language. Wait a minute, that’s… she lives just in front of me.

“Are you following me?”

“Ehn…” she catch me staring, I am probably very red and more awkward then the normal me. “No, no. It's just, we are neighbors, I live here, just across the hall.”

She keeps looking at me, like if she is not sure to believe me or not, just open your damn door Spencer, and prove you ain't lying.

“See?”

“Nice place, very organized…”

When she ends up beside me? Her eyes run across my place, making quick analysis scanning what she can see by the door.

“Ok, I will live you be, sorry for being so intrusive, and thanks for the umbrella ride.”

“You’re welcome. Also, welcome to the building”

She smiles, her smile is pretty.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a nock on my door. Weird, I basically don’t get visited. I open it slowly and there she is the rain day girl, and she has something in hands.

“Hi, I made some cookies, and decided to give you some, since you were so nice to me that day”

“Oh, thanks.” I was very surprised. “You didn’t have to.”

“No problem, it is a pleasure. I hope you like them. It is the classic one, with chocolate drips.”

“It was very thoughtful of you. I really appreciate it.”

I take it from her hands, every time I see her there is that warm feeling, she is always so nice to me.

“How is the moving going?”

“Slow, I'm still putting things in place. The kitchen is almost ready. I am not in a rush to finish it to be honest. Just, baby steps, one day at a time…”

“Well, it is your space, your stuff, it is alright going slow, its you, it should go in your pace”

“Thanks. Well, when you finish the cookies you can return the ball.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

The cookies were the most delicious ones I have eaten in my life. I made sure to compliment her, and the way she smiles and giggles, makes my heart beat faster in my chest.

Today I discovered that I am out of sugar, so why don't I go to the new girl? She made cookies and other delicious stuff she is always happy to share with me, for sure she has sugar.

“Just a cup? Sure Sweetie, I will go grab it for you, make yourself comfortable.”

I shyly enter her house, the first thing that hits me is the smell, I think haven smell exactly like it, I can see she still has a few boxes, but all the essentials are displayed, a kindle, books, a lot of types of books, fantasy, biography, history, classics… she also has a few plants, no much decoration… Why is that hard profile her?

“Here you go, a cup of sugar to my sweet boy”

I asked her sugar a lot of other times after that, just to see her, to feel my blood run in my veins, the fast piece of my heart, the smell invading my nose, that warm feeling.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hi, so, do you have plans for today?”

She was standing outside my door, smiling at me, eyes glowing. How can she always be so beautiful?

“No. I did not plan anything for today.”

“Great. What do you say about taking me to a coffee shop? Any coffee you do like to go. Wanna know more about my neighbor.”

“Hm… Yeah, sure. I will just grab my things”

We go to a nearby coffeehouse and order our drinks while we have small talk.

“I love those cloudy and rainy days, so calm…”

Our orders get to the table and she points out when I drink my full of sugar cup of coffee

“Someone really likes sugar.” She smiles and is like electricity running me. “I can't drink black coffee, it gives me an awful headache.”

“Actually. Caffeine withdrawal could be an important but often overlooked cause of headache.”

She nods in agreement.

“People say that I am just being silly or have an infant paladar. I have tried a lot of types of black coffee, but nothing worked. So i decided just to drink my milk coffee, tha latte”

“Caffeine or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine is totally, actually 99% and rapidly absorbed; it reaches the highest plasma concentrations after 30-60 minutes of ingestion, but this duration can be shorter or longer due to the variation in gastric emptying time. The half-life of caffeine fluctuates between 2.5 and 4.5 hours in young individuals but can be longer in elderly. Caffeine can cross all biological membranes including blood-brain barrier because of its lipophilic character. Only a very small amount of caffeine is excreted in the urine. It is metabolized in the liver, mainly by the cytochrome P450 1A2, to paraxanthine, theobromine, theophylline, and further to urates. Caffeine acts on the brain and the heart by blocking adenosine receptors and inhibiting phosphodiesterase. It is considered the most common psychostimulant, it enhances concentration, improves mood and energy, induces wakefulness, and enhances exercise performance. It can also trigger anxiety, tachycardia, and hypertension. Caffeine is known to cause dependence and withdrawal symptoms such as fatigue and headache.”

Oh, no, no. She is going to think I am such a weirdo now. Couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? Things were good, where nice, and now I ruin it all.

“I have heard that coffee was addictive, but I didn’t know it was absorbed that fast, or that it didn't get expelled out of our body by urine like most of the other drinks. Maybe one of those things causes my headache every time I try to drink black coffee”

“Caffeine also narrows blood vessels that surround the brain. That is its link to headache. In some types of headaches, the blood vessels in the brain dilate, or swell. They expand into the surrounding tissues, which triggers pain.”

Why can’t I shut my mouth, she is lookin at me. She will avoid me like the plague. Why am I like that? Can’t have anything nice, ever! It is like I can’t stop, and she does not stop me, so I just keep rumbling.

“Headaches in general are a common problem for reproductive age women. Migraine headaches are 3 times more common in women than men in this age group with the difference believed to be the result of hormonal fluctuations. In women with spontaneous ovulatory cycles, headaches have been documented to occur more frequently immediately before and during the first few days of menses. Approximately half of women with migraine headaches report their occurrence associated with menstruation, with decreasing estradiol levels hypothesized as the etiologic factor. Today's low-dose oral contraceptives all contain the same estrogen component (ethinyl estradiol [EE]) but vary in the progestin component. Until recently, all progestins in OCs, the oral contraceptives (norethindrone, levonorgestrel, desogestrel, and norgestimate) were derivatives of 19-nortestosterone. A novel OC with the progestin drosperinone (DRSP) is not derived from 19-nortestosterone, but instead derived from spironolactone. This DRSP-containing OC has been shown in a large placebo-controlled trial to significantly improve the physical and behavioral symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) attributed to its unique antimineralocorticoid activity. This improvement in symptoms has been attributed to the antimineralocorticoid activity of the spironolactone-derived DRSP. Spironolactone is the only diuretic shown in randomized placebo-controlled trials to improve the behavioral and physical symptoms of PMS. While studies using validated instruments have shown improvement in PMS/PMDD with DRSP-containing OCs, headaches have not been specifically addressed.”

I managed to hold myself for a few seconds and she finally speaks something.

“Are you trying to mansplain my menstruation cycle to me?”

“No, no… that's not it, I was just…”

“It is ok, I believe you”

She smiles, how her chicks don’t hurt with how much she smiles? Why, how is her smile always so captive.

“Spironolactone. I didn’t know about the diuretic in the OCs. It is interesting to know that, I have noticed that when I drink more water my period of blood in the menstrual cycle feels less worse than normally does.”

She… she paid attention, and… interacted? My heart hammers as a symphony in my chest. It seems the whole word is more worm, as if I had been in the cold dark without releasing it until she showed up illuminating everything and involved me with a cozy blanket proofing there is more, what truly could my life be, how good could it be. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

From that day, I knew I was different, happier, she became a constant thought, always making everything better, the world more supportable. I felt the butterflies, the tingling, that stupid and uncontrollable happiness, the craving of being in contact with her, the maximum and anyway I could. It just happened, little by little. With no rush, never.

“Hey, Kid.”

Morgan snaps his fingers in front of my eyes.

“Where did this pretty brain of yours was?”

The teasing again, but we hadn’t had time, JJ passed rushing calling for a case, urgent.

A/N: Did you guys like the dades I insert? I had to read a few articles, I have the links, they will be right below. Thanks for the support. If you like the little facts let me know so then maybe I will bring more (cause in my opinion is a very Spencer Reid thing to do, talk about the facts.)

Links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1663116/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1051227621000339

https://www.uclahealth.org/news/caffeine-connection-between-coffee-and-headaches#:~:text=Caffeine%20also%20narrows%20blood%20vessels,surrounding%20tissues%2C%20which%20triggers%20pain.

https://headachejournal.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1526-4610.2007.00650.x

---------------------------------------------------------

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist

[untilnextchapter]

Masterlist : Criminal Minds

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid x Reader

* = Smut (Minors DNI) II Beware of the TW please

Basically anything from @imagining-in-the-margins but here my very favourites:

Different dialects (Fem!Autistic!Reader. Spencer is trying to tell Reader he likes her, but it feels like they speak entirely different languages.)

Impromptu (Fem!Reader learns some shocking news when a case lands her in the hospital.)

Fairytales (Dad!Spencer comes home to his very tired wife and even more tired child who refused to go to bed without a bedtime story from their dad.)

Growing Pains (Spencer finds unfamiliar lingerie in the laundry. When he confronts his wife, he learns it belongs to their teenage daughter.)

From @fortheloveofwonderland (check her whole masterlist, you won't be disappointed):

A Memory Locked in the Heart (Fem!Reader, eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.)

Mothers Daughter (fem! single mom! Reader, your mother was a keeper of secrets. She kept them so well, for so long she even managed to keep them hidden from herself. And now you find yourself face to face with the love of your life after ten years, you find yourself starting to wonder if you are your mothers daughter after all. Reunion Challenge)

We continue with the lovely @foxy-eva (all her masterlist is worth the checking, just go go~):

Reflections (Fem! Reader, the kindness Spencer Reid shows to a child seems to impress Fem!Reader a little too much)

Lipstick Stains * (Fem!Reader, the shade of your new lipstick is too much for Spencer to handle)

Miscellaneous Authors:

Any Other Weigh @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, a small collection of stories about the times Spencer told Y/N about how big their baby was getting every week)

The Lanky Guy in Room 603 @samuel-de-champagne-problems (Fem!Reader, Meeting in the delivery room with midwife Y/N)

A Trip to Remember @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Mermaid!Reader, For three thousand years, you’ve known only what the lake has to offer you. No human contact for three thousand years, yet, always being surrounded by them. Everything changes when you meet Spencer Reid)

Dear Theodosia @violetrainbow412-blog (Fem!Reader, Dad!Spencer stays one afternoon to care for your three-month-old twins and reflects on how much he loves them)

Darling & Dandelion @eideticmemory (Fem!Reader, Spencer is a lot of things to you. Your baby daddy, your lover, your best friend, and a massive pain in your ass)

Friends to lovers with Spencer @gtgbabie0 (Fem!Reader, Spencer needs comfort)

BFF @babymetaldoll (Fem!Reader, Spencer meets his best friend from school after 12 years apart)

Wife @specialagentlokitty (Autistic!Reader, Spencer Reid with a wife who is autistic and when she comes to visit the team doesn’t know what to do until Reid comes and finds her sitting at his desk)

10 Days @boldlyvoid (Fem!Reader, it's Spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are)

Here for you @weird-is-life (Fem!Reader, 4 times you take care of Spencer and one time he takes care of you)

[Not named] @tinyluvs (Fem!Reader, Being Spencer’s girlfriend and meeting the team for the first time)

[Not named] @ddejavvu (GN!Reader, Spencer Reid and s/o who bites their nails)

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Basically check all the masterlist of @specialagentlokitty but here are my favourites Aaron ones:

Please help me (Teen!Reader, Reader has abusive parents and Hotch and reader are neighbors and reader asks Hotch for help knowing he’s an FBI agent) TW: Abusive Parents

Safe (Child!Reader, Aaron rescues her from a kidnapping but then refuses to leave her side at the hospital)

As slow as you need (Fem!Reader, Hotch x reader where reader flinches) TW: Mentions of abusive ex

Miscellaneous Authors:

Can't Lose You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Hotch gets attacked during a case and ends up in the hospital, Y/N realizes she can't lose him without telling him about her feelings)

Derek Morgan x Reader

The first time @specialagentlokitty (Fem!Reader, Dancing at JJ's wedding)

Obsession @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, You’re a target for someone who is obsessed with you, and so you offer yourself as bait to catch the guy)

Like a date? @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, Your older sister brings you to her work, and you get a lot more than you bargained for)

Spring Carnival @storiesofsvu (Fem!Reader, Sweet time at the carnival)

Placing bets @cafeacademia (Fem!Reader, Since you started at the BAU, you and Derek have picked up a fun way to get to know more about each other. By making bets, the person who wins gets to ask any question they like to the loser and the loser much answer truthfully. But maybe there's a bit more that just a bit of fun to the bets...)

It's Always Been You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Agent Y/N Y/L/N gets injured on the job, Derek Morgan is the one to take care of her afterward. However, neither of them expected that him simply cleaning her wounds would turn into a love confession)

[elizabethplaid]

early morning notes - nov 4, 2024

Both phone-friend and streamer-friend were busy this weekend, so I spent my time napping and playing on my phone. (And taking photos of Wampus, which have been popular.) I sent them both well-wishes, but I didn't want to bother them. Both needed the break from their daily routines. Also, I was the one to suggest canceling this week's call, out of respect.

Thursday (Halloween, Oct 31st) was my dental appointment and some shopping, which left me very fatigued, both physically and mentally. Friday through now, my sense of touch has been hyper-aroused, but it's less scary than what happened at the end of August. (At least I didn't break my chakra, like I feared last time.)

I "took matters into my own hands" on Friday, but the sensations have persisted. I've been hesitant to say anything, as there's really nothing to be done. It's fun to whine when it's amusing, but it feels embarrassing and frustrating this time. I'm tired; I want to sleep; I don't want to be aroused. I'm too tired to do anything about it.

Sunday (Nov 3) was Friends-giving with Neighbors-S+J. I didn't go, because I'm so wonked, but dad brought home dessert. I was an impulsive fool and ate it right away, though it was close to midnight. I was most of the way through the cheesecake when I realized it'd been on the counter for a few hours. Ah, that pesky food safety. I stopped eating it and threw the rest away. (Cookies and chocolate pieces were saved and set in the fridge, as those are usually more stable.)

My impulsiveness also kept me from making a "proper" meal for myself. In the morning, I'll have something with more food groups, but emotions are clinging to that cheesecake and not sitting well with me. (Not nauseated, just some regret mixed with other weird things.) I'm near the end of my cycle, so that's my excuse for my current condition, at least partly.

I've taken my meds this morning, though I think I was late to take them yesterday (closer to noon). I was going to finish tasks for a game-event on my phone, but fatigue has eroded away my interest. There are some echoes of a dream that are lingering (kissing a hand, fairy bread), along with reading the symbolism from another recent dream, bothering my thoughts. Again, fatigue makes me want to ignore them.

I'm trying to search my memories for answers to my current situation. I've talked about this with my counselor and phone-friend. I've developed strategies before. I just can't think right now. It wasn't actions; it was attitudes, how to regard things and not get discouraged.

She also asked how I felt about the portraits from that dream, the one that's still bugging me. The symbolism site I read said it was "how you want to be seen by others", and that's true, but the details about the artist made it weird. I noted contrasts with other dreams of similar themes. Need to write down those imagery-symbols, so I can report back later.

The part about grout in dentures paralleled my dental cleaning, as well. It bothers me that it was a prediction, in a sense. The only other predictive dream I've had was related to my assault. And that anniversary is later this month, so I'm trying to keep my brain from revisiting those unhappy places.

There were also some story scenarios I envisioned as I went through that endorphin crash. I wrote about it but saved it as a draft, as it felt too painful to let anyone else see. I just had counseling the day before dental, so it's another week+ before we talk again. If I'm not feeling better by Tuesday, I'll ask for an earlier appointment.

I know there are bad feelings bubbling closer to the surface right now. They're buried under a layer of numbness, at the moment, which is also preventing me from thinking much. I appreciate how my brain is unconsciously/subconsciously? protecting me.

Still working through how much I allow myself to lean on others. This pain isn't new; there's nothing to be done by either me or them. So why bother sharing it? Maybe I'm using that as a cover-up for shame, too. Vulnerability is embarrassing, after all. Guess the mental health stuff is pretty heavy if I'm wrestling with philosophical stuff about deserving to be cared for. But it's also not easy to undo a lifetime of bad lessons, so I must be patient and kind with myself. I think I'll take a nap.

[go-go-devil]

4 & 8?

4. Is there a film that you love except for the ending? What would you change about the ending?

Granted I've only seen this film once so far, but while I really enjoyed The 'Burbs I thought the ending was a bit too weak compared to the rest of the story. Spoilers for a somewhat obscure 1980's black comedy incoming!

So basically the entire film is about this painfully average American suburbanites being suspicious about their weird new neighbors, the Klopeks, thinking that they might be murderers and going to great (& illegal!) lengths to gather evidence for this (often coming up short in the process). But then at the VERY end of the film the main character ends up being proven right about them being murders when he himself is almost murdered right after finally declaring that he was wrong about his suspicions of them!

It's not a horrible ending per say, I just thought it felt rushed and goes completely against the main comedy of the film; that being the paranoia that so often breeds in average white Americans whenever something slightly different from their boring way of life enters their neighborhoods. I think it would've been WAY funnier if the Klopeks weren't murders after all and at the end the mc accidentally gets them arrested for something completely innocuous in comparison, like them owning weed, but he's still treated like a hero for what he did for a bit before everyone goes right back to their usual business. Agree to disagree 'Burbs fans, but that's just how I feel.

8. Has a film ever made you extremely angry?

If Yorgos Lanthimos's The Lobster has a million haters I'm one of them. If Yorgos Lanthimos's The Lobster has ten haters I'm one of them. If Yorgos Lanthimos's The Lobster has one hater then that's me. If Yorgos Lanthimos's The Lobster has zero haters then I am no longer alive. If the world is for Yorgos Lanthimos's The Lobster then I am against the world.

This is my personal worst film I've ever seen. Even worse than bottomless pit budget garbage like Poor White Trash 2 because at least that film doesn't trick you into thinking it's a good movie. This movie is a "satire" with no point. It pretends to mock the strictness of our amatonormative society with a system forcing people to find a romantic partner in 45 days or else face punishment, only to then introduce a group of deviants who don't want romance or sex and spend the rest of the film demonizing them. "Oh, these 'loners' are actually JUST as bad, if not WORSE than the dystopian government forcing people to pair up with strangers because these people, for no fucking reason, decide to maim those who dare form a relationship and/or have sex!!1!"

I have actually tears in my eyes as I type this I'm so angry right now. This entire film is just another reminder that most people don't want people like me to exist in society, particularly due to the fact that so many critics and arthouse snobs think it's a good if not great flick. This pretentious motherfucker of a director couldn't even fathom the idea that maybe, just fucking maybe, a satire is supposed to punch up at the society it's criticizing, not lay down like a limp dog with the useless hypothesis that "Humans are INHERENTLY cruel to each other and there's NOTHING we can do about it."

So yeah, this movie makes me real fucking angry! I hope it and its rotten ideology gets buried and forgotten in the deepest sands of time!

[queer-and-nerdy]

as a blue ridge rock festival 2023 survivor i’m imagining l&co going to a rock/metal festival and it’s CARNAGE right (this is based on my experience with festivals in the u.s. i’ve never been to any in europe LMAO) also obligatory @wellgoslowly tag <3

the three of them go for all 4 days with on-site camping but they decide to share a single tent because “it’ll be cheaper and we already live together so how bad can it be?” BAD VERY BAD. fortunately, the weather was good but lucy forgot to take into account how much she and george snack when they get stressed. her and george take turns driving to and from the festival (lockwood is a registered passenger princess i love him but also don't trust him behind the wheel), but lucy is the one to park in the campground as george made several domestic and international terror threats if he had to pull into "that shitshow of a lot, are you mad?? who's idea was this, anyways? not mine, that's for sure. park the damn car without killing us, please and thank you." their three sleeping bags barely fit the floor of the tent, so the first night they spend practically curled up together. george, unable to handle the sheer amount of LocklyleTM, decides to sleep in the car for the rest of the weekend. lucy and lockwood try to sleep in an inconspicuous/non-awkward way, but somehow find themselves tangled up in each other's arms. neither of them comment on this, but they also don't separate right away (they make me sick). they all wear matching noise-muffling headphones that lucy made for them (lucy's hearing is already somewhat impaired and she takes care of her body; george bitches about his hearing being fine despite staying close enough to be able to touch the stage for every set he attends and complaining about a "weird ringing noise" constantly; lockwood never takes his off, even sleeping with them on - lucy drew little hearts on his). the three of them also spent the week leading up to the festivals making kandi bracelets to hand out, which earns them some friends they keep for years.

lockwood (the masochist that he is) has the time of his life all weekend. he’s thriving on the loud music and shitty overpriced food. he desperately wants to mosh but doesn’t realize that you don’t really have to ask to join, and his first few attempts just result in him either acting as a wall or getting pushed out of the way entirely. once he finally pushes his way into a decent-sized pit, he instantly gets sucker punched and george has to take him to the first aid tent (they give him a small bottle of water and tell him to “take it easy”). he doesn't sing along for any sets he attends, instead enjoying hearing the combination of the band and the audience. he stays on the festival grounds from first set to last, and when he returns to the campsite he spends several more hours chatting with their neighbors. he loves discovering new bands and genres despite how picky he is and gets along great with the people he stands around (except the person that kept talking shit about metallica). music is a great escape for him and helps him pass the time in his everyday life. it acts as a grounding force in his life, and something about the heavy bass provided by the live music gives him a sense of reality. despite his increasing lack of sleep each night he somehow is more energized each day. this baffles lucy and george, who are running on the fumes of fumes. hypothetically his positive attitude would make him an ideal tentmate, except for the unfortunate fact that not only are the showers largely inaccessible but he gets it into his head that “there aren’t showers in the wild; therefore, i don’t need to take any.” lucy and george set him straight the second night with some not so thinly veiled threats.

lucy is the one to suggest the festival as a “much needed vacation.” she is also the first to regret actually following through on it. she spends the hottest parts of the day in the shade of their campsite, usually only showing up for the headliners at the end of the night as well as some smaller bands she researched ahead of time. although george teases her for "hiding," she ends up being the only one to make it out without any medical issues or injuries. she makes sure to pack the right amount of food for the three of them as well as budgeting for festival food but she would rather die than pay $13 for a slice of pizza. she designates herself as the merch martyr, standing in line for two hours to get the three of them anything and everything they could afford (one shirt each and a magnet for their kitchen). however much she complains, though, she fully enjoys herself the whole time. she allows herself the freedom to relax in what would otherwise be a stressful environment for her, and she makes a few good friends. like lockwood, music is an escape for her, but instead of giving her a sense of reality, she finds it gives her an outlet to be someone she usually isn't. in a large crowd, with no one's eyes on her and any internal thoughts muffled by the loud music, she can let go and lose herself to the experience. she doesn't mosh but instead stands to the side and observes the moshers and crowd surfers. she becomes so wrapped up in the performances that, despite knowing all of the songs, often doesn't sing along.

george, like myself, has a myriad of health conditions, so the fact that he survived the entire weekend is surprising enough. lucy enlists lockwood's help to hold a gun to george's head to force him to take his binder off periodically. he hasn't had a drop of water in months and certainly isn't planning on starting now, which frustrates lucy to no end. the only compromise he makes is purchasing a case of gatorade, which he chugs half of and promptly vomits up all within the first day. he isn't a huge fan of moshing but he gets dragged into a few energetic ones and finds himself having fun. although he, like lucy, researched and planned ahead on who he wanted to see, he prefers to spend most of the day wandering around the grounds and sitting in on groups he didn't know if he has the time. for the groups he plans for, however, he's a bit of a scary fan. he knows all the lyrics, the band members' names, details of their careers, etc. he knows the setlist ahead of time even though he could sing each all of their songs perfectly from memory and excitedly tells the people around him what song was coming next. he starts arguments with a few people on the subgenres of metal, but also manages to get a cute guy's contact info after crossing each other's paths at a few different sets. to him, music is the only way he feels understood. he often doesn't know how to verbally explain his feelings, and there's something about music that he finds accesses deep within him. he passes out three times during the first day (lucy was there for the third one and exploded when he told her about the other two) but manages to only pass out one more time over the rest of the weekend.

skull is forced to stay home by himself despite insisting on being taken along [he will remember this]. the magnet lucy gets, however, satisfies him.

[lady-snow-flower]

Laur's #Swynwrimo Tracker

Wednesday, November 1 -- Villanelle Poem: A poem in a villanelle structure! Can be written from a character’s perspective, about a character, or about something in the RP in general. Bonus points if it is canon. (Read more about villanelle) .

Thursday, November 2 -- Community Flyer: Make a flyer for a community event that could possibly happen somewhere in town. These can be pre-established or make up something new! (Open mic night at Hatter’s, poetry nights at Chapter Three, local blood drive, arts and crafts at Town Hall, music lessons, trash pick up, etc.)

Friday, November 3 -- Everyone’s a Critic: Write ten reviews that your character would leave for books on Goodreads, movies on Letterboxd, or something similar! Include their star rating.

Saturday, November 4 -- Crack!ship AU: Write a crack!ship au. This should be a one shot of any characters in the roleplay, yours or someone else’s! Definition of a crackship: seriously this shit can’t happen but in an alternate universe. Add 10 applicable aO3 tags (enemies to lovers, modern au, etc.) This is a one-shot.

Sunday, November 5 -- Family Ties One-Shot: Write a one-shot revolving around your character’s family, include 3 family members minimum. (This can include whatever your character’s definition of family is.)

Monday, November 6 — Daylist: Make a playlist for a specific day and time for your character, inspired by what they’d typically listen to at that time. Has Spotify decided your character likes to listen to Happy Indie Sunshine on a Monday morning? Or Witchy Goblin Scream on a Saturday night? Make sure to come up with the funky description and examples of the specific weird “genres” Spotify thinks they listen to – and write about what they’re usually doing at that time of day. Click here for examples!

Tuesday, November 7 -- Community Togetherness Thread: Plot a thread that takes place in one of Swynlake’s community events (or one of Pride U’s societies) with a mun that you don’t currently have a thread with. If they’re not in any of the existing community groups or societies, you can do a thread where someone is trying to recruit them! Or use this as a chance to create a new group!

Wednesday, November 8 -- 160 Characters or Less: Write a story using either Tweets or entirely in texts between characters. (This is a one-shot prompt, not something you do with others.)

Thursday, November 9 -- SwynRPVision: Create your own TV show, book, video game, piece of media, etc. that would exist in the SwynRPuniverse which does not exist in ours. Write a description, make a graphic, write a script or do whatever you want.

Friday, November 10 -- Love Is Stored In The Garlic: Write about 10 significant meals that your character has had in their lives. Is it their favorite pasta dish? Is it the meal they were broken up over? Up to you to decide! Bonus points for images.

Saturday, November 11 -- Short and Sweet One-Shot: Write ten short-short stories of no more than a paragraph long (can star one or multiple characters.)

Sunday, November 12 -- Background NPC: Write about a moment of your character’s life from the perspective of an NPC character.

Monday, November 13 -- #OOTD: Come up with five significant full outfits from your character’s wardrobe/life and describe them in detail.

Tuesday, November 14 -- Neighborly Plotting: Plot a thread with your neighbor(s) using the demographic sheet. If you live somewhere like the Woods, where there are no house numbers, headcanon who you live near!

Wednesday, November 15 -- NPC Playlist! Make a playlist for an important NPC in your character’s life – 10 songs minimum, a little description for each song.

Thursday, November 16 -- Character #Inspo: Find five existing fictional characters who remind you of your character (or who inspired your character). Post two pieces of inspiration from each character (A gif, a quote, a video clip, a screenshot) and write a little bit about how that character relates to your own. If you’re having a hard time thinking of characters like yours, check out this quiz!

Friday, November 17 -- Choose Your Own Swyn AU: Do you have a dream AU-week event? Create your own! Make a graphic, write an opening blurb, and create a sample bio for one of your characters. [example of a past event, you do NOT have to do the whole thing, but this has the graphic/opening blurb]

Saturday, November 18 -- Which Character Are You?: Make a UQuiz for people to determine which of your characters they are.

Sunday, November 19 -- Five Times X, One Time Y: Five times your character did a thing and one time … they didn’t. Get creative with what this means, but structure it in that same manner.

Monday, November 20 -- Personality Playlist: Create a playlist for a personality trait for a character! This could be an Enneagram, Meyers-Briggs, zodiac, etc. or anything else. – 10 songs minimum, a little description for each song.

Tuesday, November 21 -- Back to the Future Thread: Write either a flashback or a flashforward thread with another mun! (This could be an existing connection or a connection that could possibly happen 10 years in the future! Should be 10+/- years in the past/future.)

Wednesday, November 22 — Enter the Metaverse: Your character’s computer! List five bookmarks, their last five visited websites, their last five Google searches, five applications/programs they have on their computer, their screensaver and lockscreen!

Thursday, November 23 — Instagram Stories: Post five IG stories from a single day of your character’s life. This can be photos of their activities and their friends, but also memes, news, funny videos, and other types of posts!

Friday, November 24 -- Relationship Aesthetic: Make three different aesthetics for three different relationships (Romantic! Platonic! Sexual! Familial! Adversarial! Any type of relationship or combination) in the RP – only one of them can be yours! Try to spread it across at least six different muns.

Saturday, November 25 -- SWYNRP Memes: Create memes (there are websites where you can do this) about characters, places, or things that happen in Swynlake! (10 minimum)

Sunday, November 26 -- The Final Labor: Based on the final task for the labors, write an AU featuring all your characters in a role. Choose an AU, set out a list of goals for yourself based on tropes within that AU (ex. a red shirt has to die if you’re doing Star Trek or someone in the group gets bitten by a zombie and doesn’t tell the rest if you’re doing an apocalypse), then write to your heart’s content! To count, each character must have a role and your tropes must be laid out beforehand.

Monday, November 27 -- Fairy Talent! What’s your fairy talent? Drawing, cooking, sewing, outfit styling, GIF-making, video-making, singing? Create a Swyn-inspired masterpiece and share it with the group!

Tuesday, November 28 -- Around the World in 30 Days: Write 10 headcanons for the location where your character is from! If your character is from a place where other characters are from, you can either collaborate with them to post a mutual headcanon list or just make sure to get their approval before you post.

Wednesday, November 29 -- Wordy Web-Weaving: Pick a word that is significant to your character or their story and create a web-weaving aesthetic based around that word’s definition. Feel free to incorporate your own writing, others’ writing, and/or media that inspires your writing. Read more about web-weaving here.

Thursday, November 30 -- SWYNRP Character Wishlist: A list of 10+ characters you’d like to see in the RP (for you to play or someone else!)

[ianthedisastrous]

Z's Swynwrimo Tracker

Wednesday, November 1 -- Villanelle Poem: A poem in a villanelle structure! Can be written from a character’s perspective, about a character, or about something in the RP in general. Bonus points if it is canon. (Read more about villanelle) .

Thursday, November 2 -- Community Flyer: Make a flyer for a community event that could possibly happen somewhere in town. These can be pre-established or make up something new! (Open mic night at Hatter’s, poetry nights at Chapter Three, local blood drive, arts and crafts at Town Hall, music lessons, trash pick up, etc.)

Friday, November 3 -- Everyone’s a Critic: Write ten reviews that your character would leave for books on Goodreads, movies on Letterboxd, or something similar! Include their star rating.

Saturday, November 4 -- Crack!ship AU: Write a crack!ship au. This should be a one shot of any characters in the roleplay, yours or someone else’s! Definition of a crackship: seriously this shit can’t happen but in an alternate universe. Add 10 applicable aO3 tags (enemies to lovers, modern au, etc.) This is a one-shot.

Sunday, November 5 -- Family Ties One-Shot: Write a one-shot revolving around your character’s family, include 3 family members minimum. (This can include whatever your character’s definition of family is.)

Monday, November 6 — Daylist: Make a playlist for a specific day and time for your character, inspired by what they’d typically listen to at that time. Has Spotify decided your character likes to listen to Happy Indie Sunshine on a Monday morning? Or Witchy Goblin Scream on a Saturday night? Make sure to come up with the funky description and examples of the specific weird “genres” Spotify thinks they listen to – and write about what they’re usually doing at that time of day. Click here for examples!

Tuesday, November 7 -- Community Togetherness Thread: Plot a thread that takes place in one of Swynlake’s community events (or one of Pride U’s societies) with a mun that you don’t currently have a thread with. If they’re not in any of the existing community groups or societies, you can do a thread where someone is trying to recruit them! Or use this as a chance to create a new group!

Wednesday, November 8 -- 160 Characters or Less: Write a story using either Tweets or entirely in texts between characters. (This is a one-shot prompt, not something you do with others.)

Thursday, November 9 -- SwynRPVision: Create your own TV show, book, video game, piece of media, etc. that would exist in the SwynRPuniverse which does not exist in ours. Write a description, make a graphic, write a script or do whatever you want.

Friday, November 10 -- Love Is Stored In The Garlic: Write about 10 significant meals that your character has had in their lives. Is it their favorite pasta dish? Is it the meal they were broken up over? Up to you to decide! Bonus points for images.

Saturday, November 11 -- Short and Sweet One-Shot: Write ten short-short stories of no more than a paragraph long (can star one or multiple characters.)

Sunday, November 12 -- Background NPC: Write about a moment of your character’s life from the perspective of an NPC character.

Monday, November 13 -- #OOTD: Come up with five significant full outfits from your character’s wardrobe/life and describe them in detail.

Tuesday, November 14 -- Neighborly Plotting: Plot a thread with your neighbor(s) using the demographic sheet. If you live somewhere like the Woods, where there are no house numbers, headcanon who you live near!

Wednesday, November 15 -- NPC Playlist! Make a playlist for an important NPC in your character’s life – 10 songs minimum, a little description for each song.

Thursday, November 16 -- Character #Inspo: Find five existing fictional characters who remind you of your character (or who inspired your character). Post two pieces of inspiration from each character (A gif, a quote, a video clip, a screenshot) and write a little bit about how that character relates to your own. If you’re having a hard time thinking of characters like yours, check out this quiz!

Friday, November 17 -- Choose Your Own Swyn AU: Do you have a dream AU-week event? Create your own! Make a graphic, write an opening blurb, and create a sample bio for one of your characters. [example of a past event, you do NOT have to do the whole thing, but this has the graphic/opening blurb]

Saturday, November 18 -- Which Character Are You?: Make a UQuiz for people to determine which of your characters they are.

Sunday, November 19 -- Five Times X, One Time Y: Five times your character did a thing and one time … they didn’t. Get creative with what this means, but structure it in that same manner.

Monday, November 20 -- Personality Playlist: Create a playlist for a personality trait for a character! This could be an Enneagram, Meyers-Briggs, zodiac, etc. or anything else. – 10 songs minimum, a little description for each song.

Tuesday, November 21 -- Back to the Future Thread: Write either a flashback or a flashforward thread with another mun! (This could be an existing connection or a connection that could possibly happen 10 years in the future! Should be 10+/- years in the past/future.)

Wednesday, November 22 — Enter the Metaverse: Your character’s computer! List five bookmarks, their last five visited websites, their last five Google searches, five applications/programs they have on their computer, their screensaver and lockscreen!

Thursday, November 23 — Instagram Stories: Post five IG stories from a single day of your character’s life. This can be photos of their activities and their friends, but also memes, news, funny videos, and other types of posts!

Friday, November 24 -- Relationship Aesthetic: Make three different aesthetics for three different relationships (Romantic! Platonic! Sexual! Familial! Adversarial! Any type of relationship or combination) in the RP – only one of them can be yours! Try to spread it across at least six different muns.

Saturday, November 25 -- SWYNRP Memes: Create memes (there are websites where you can do this) about characters, places, or things that happen in Swynlake! (10 minimum)

Sunday, November 26 -- The Final Labor: Based on the final task for the labors, write an AU featuring all your characters in a role. Choose an AU, set out a list of goals for yourself based on tropes within that AU (ex. a red shirt has to die if you’re doing Star Trek or someone in the group gets bitten by a zombie and doesn’t tell the rest if you’re doing an apocalypse), then write to your heart’s content! To count, each character must have a role and your tropes must be laid out beforehand.

Monday, November 27 -- Fairy Talent! What’s your fairy talent? Drawing, cooking, sewing, outfit styling, GIF-making, video-making, singing? Create a Swyn-inspired masterpiece and share it with the group!

Tuesday, November 28 -- Around the World in 30 Days: Write 10 headcanons for the location where your character is from! If your character is from a place where other characters are from, you can either collaborate with them to post a mutual headcanon list or just make sure to get their approval before you post.

Wednesday, November 29 -- Wordy Web-Weaving: Pick a word that is significant to your character or their story and create a web-weaving aesthetic based around that word’s definition. Feel free to incorporate your own writing, others’ writing, and/or media that inspires your writing. Read more about web-weaving here.

Thursday, November 30 -- SWYNRP Character Wishlist: A list of 10+ characters you’d like to see in the RP (for you to play or someone else!)

[italymystery-swanqueen]

New Friends

[aquaquadrant]

Why do I feel like Etho and Patho would actually really get along well. Like there'd be a minute of "oh shit" then they'd be making some weird machine together.

Also any chance you would be willing to share the story about Patho's clock and maybe info on Hels Bdubs?

(honestly? true. patho isn’t bothered enough w the concept of being a doppelgänger so he’d be chill w etho if etho was chill with him. and etho’s like. always chill. anyway idk if this’ll answer ur questions but here’s uhhhh something)

~*~

patho pauses at the top of the netherrack hill, boots hissing briefly as he shifts off a magma block.

xyz: -12,485.167 / 67.09835 / 253,295.942

the coordinates ever-present within his field of view tell him he should be another hundred or so blocks away in the z axis, but he can already see the jungle’s grown since his last visit. it’s been slowly overtaking the neighboring nether waste biome for a couple decades, now. rate of growth has held constant, unchanging. that's something, at least.

patho slowly scans the horizon. words and numbers flash across the left half of his vision as his cybernetic eye rapidly processes new information based on visual input: netherrack, netherrack, crimson nylium, grass, jungle wood, jungle wood, jungle leaves, weeping vine. light level 3, 3, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. there's a lava pool eleven blocks over in the x axis; light level 15.

he starts walking again.

153 fps t: inf fancy-clouds b: 15x15 3 tx 3 rx c: 695/41672 (s) d: 16, pc: 000, pu: 00, ab: 42 e: 23/109, b: 0, sd: 9 p: 18 t: 109 error fc:0 xyz: -12,487.331 / 65.21091 / 253,375.987 block: -12,487 65 253,375 chunk: -780 15 7,835 facing: south (towards positive z)(1.5/5) client light: 5 (0 sky, 5 block) biome: error:nether waste local difficulty: 6.75//0.00 (day error404 not found) sounds: 5/247 + 0/8

the data shifts with every step. he's learned to tune most of it out by now, only paying attention to the biome indicator as he crosses the chunk threshold.

biome: error:crimson jungle

particles and sounds immediately jump up a couple degrees. glowing red specks dance slowly in the air, mingling with the ambient noises; hoglins rooting around in the brush, parrots calling unseen from the canopy above, lava bubbling in a pool nearby.

p: 35 sounds: 23/247

the temperature is warmer here. patho shrugs off his jacket, letting it hang at his elbows as he picks his way through the jungle. he doesn't even need to think about where he's going, coordinates left ignored at the edge of his vision. he's taken this path many times before, and he never has to wander very long.

his boots crunch softly on the nylium and grass terrain. jungle leaves and crimson fungus alike brush at his shoulders as he ducks underneath branches, taking care not to get tangled in weeping vines.

this is his favorite jungle. it's not the only crimson jungle he's ever come across- not to mention the warped jungles- but out of all the biomes he's seen, it's the one with the greenest leaves. something about this jungle sustains the normal trees just as well as it does the fungi, allowing the grass and leaves to stay bright and full instead growing in wilted and brown. it makes a lovely contrast with the blood red fungi.

not for the first time, he's thankful that the jungle is far enough away from spawn to be left alone. if other players knew about this place, with its well-sustained passive mob spawning and greenery, they'd destroy it for resources for sure. but he never worries too much about that possibility, because no mob or player sets foot in this jungle without permission from-

a weeping vine suddenly sprouts from the ground and lashes around patho's leg.

it's quickly joined by several more, snaking out from the undergrowth to wrap around his other limbs. before he can blink, he's lifted off the ground and pulled up into the trees. he doesn't struggle, doesn't panic- this is nothing new to him. the vines string him up among the highest branches, where a familiar figure is crouched in front of him, nothing but a pair of glowing red eyes beneath a heap of moss.

<player>dat -7063fdce-39ac-4a12-d836-a990c45b2bb0

"hey, dbubs," patho says casually.

the figure straightens up, hood falling back to reveal his face. his huge red eyes are sparkling with excitement, despite the dark circles lining them, and his mouth falls open in a wide, sharp-toothed grin. vines of varying shapes and sizes curl lazily around his body, small tendrils sprouting from the mossy cloak he wears. a couple veins of red discolor his skin, crawling up his neck and across his face. his messy hair is a bit whiter than the last time patho saw him, tinged red at the roots. a clock hangs around his neck, to match the one hanging from patho's hip.

"patho!" dbubs practically shouts, throwing his arms out.

sounds: 24/247

before dbubs can say anything else, patho asks his usual question. “what’s your name?”

“what’s my-” dbubs blinks, works his jaw for a second. “GODSLAYER666,” he proclaims loudly, puffing his chest out. then he pauses, frowns. “wait, no, i- i don’t know why i just said that. uh…”

it’s somewhere in the middle, then. not as bad as his worst days- at least he’s aware he’s lying, even if he has no control over it. and patho has to admit, that's one of the most entertaining responses dbubs has ever given to his little test.

"uh huh." patho shifts in the web of vines. they're holding a bit tighter than normal. of course, he could still easily break out of them. if he wanted to. "did you miss me, dbubs?" he asks instead, his voice teasing.

dbubs throws his head back to let out a sharp laugh, sending a shower of red particles fluttering through the air. "what?" he demands incredulously, his eyes blown wide. "miss you? i d- eugh, n'you stupid- i- i didn't even notice you were gone!"

patho hums with amusement. "then you don't wanna, like, kiss me or anything?"

"no," dbubs insists stubbornly, even as he comes closer. he steps boldly into patho's space, hands coming up to grab his face. "no, no of course not, i don't..." his long eyelashes flutter as he looks patho up and down. he smells like moss; like old vegetation and decay. there's soil and dried blood caked under his fingernails. "why would i- you ha- you have a lotta nerve..." dbubs tugs at the left strap of patho's mask, tilting his head. "do i- uh, do i get to see ya?" he asks, expression suddenly eager.

"yeah," patho chuckles.

dbubs grins widely, pulling patho's mask down. for a moment, he just looks at him. his calloused hand scuffs along the metal parts of patho's face- the entire ramus of his left mandible and most of his cheekbone, lost in the explosion that took his eye. the remaining skin is rough with scar tissue. dbubs strokes his thumb along that, too.

"i lo- um, i- i hate your stupid face," dbubs mumbles before he finally kisses patho. he seems to process his words a second later, breaking away with a small gasp of "oh! i d-", but patho simply leans in again, reclaiming his lips.

he knows what dbubs meant.

~*~

dbubs spares patho the trouble of walking, simply having the vines carry him to the hideaway. it's a difficult base to categorize: part tree house, part nest, part garden. in some places the floor is made of wood- in others, just a thick layer of leaves. there are potted plants and hanging vines everywhere, interspersed among stacks of barrels and moldy bookcases. little red mushrooms sprout from walls made of thatch and tree trunks. a couple of shroomlights provide gentle lighting as glittery particles drift through the open air; red, from the biome itself, and green from the spore blossom that patho brought him last year.

the vines unceremoniously drop patho onto the makeshift bed- a mat of moss and old, shredded banners. he's barely gotten settled, pulling his mask up and pulling his jacket off, before dbubs flops onto him with a heavy wuff.

"so!" dbubs starts loudly, propping his elbows up on patho's stomach. "what brings ya to see ol' dbubs today, huh?"

patho huffs a laugh. "what, i can't just stop by to say hi?"

"oh sure, okay." dbubs rolls his eyes, one of his vines flicking through the air dismissively. "you j- yeah, okay, be all secretive, then! see if i care." his haughty demeanor doesn't last long, though, as he shimmies up a little further, arms folded on patho's chest. "d'you- uh, do you wanna hear what i've been doin'?"

patho sighs good-naturedly, shifting so he can tuck his arms behind his head and lean back against the wall. "alright, go ahead."

dbubs beams at him and immediately starts telling lies. he tells patho about all the amazing things he's built (the jungle looks the same), all the incredible battles he's fought (no one's entered the jungle in years), all the wonderful places he's gone (he can't leave the jungle).

but patho doesn't mind that it's all lies. he's content to listen anyways.

they carry on like this until dbubs suddenly pauses, scrambling for his clock. "uh oh! gotta schreep."

patho glances at his own clock; dbubs is right on time, as always. that's one thing he never lies about. "okay, okay," he says, pushing dbubs off- he hits the moss with a soft thump. "lemme get my anchor."

"well, hurry up already!" dbubs shouts impatiently, vines swatting at patho's arm as he pops down his ender chest.

after placing the anchor and setting his spawn, patho reaches up and presses his finger directly into the center of his left eye, shutting it off.

he doesn’t regret putting a data processor into his cybernetic eye; the information it’s given him is invaluable. but every now and then, he needs a break from it. even when his eyes are closed, the display is still active, showing blank values on the back of his eyelid. turning the eye off is the only way to make it go away- of course, at the price of half his vision. so he only does it if he’s sleeping somewhere fully secure, and if he’s alone.

the jungle is an exception. dbubs has full domain out here- no mob or player can come close to his home without him allowing it.

"finally," dbubs huffs as patho settles back down. he's quick to cling with both his arms and assorted vines.

patho can't help but chuckle. "what's that you said about not missing me?"

"oh, shut up!"

~*~

patho abruptly reenters consciousness, emerging from a deep, dreamless sleep. with a soft groan, he fumbles to turn on his cybernetic eye, wincing at the sudden influx of data.

149 fps t: inf fancy-clouds b: 15x15 3 tx 3 rx c: 695/41672 (s) d: 16, pc: 000, pu: 00, ab: 42 e: 1/109, b: 0, sd: 9 p: 52 t: 109 error fc:0 xyz: -12,587.412 / 96.77253 / 253,401.623 block: -12,587 96 253,401 chunk: -783 15 7,845 facing: north (towards negative z)(1.5/5) client light: 7 (0 sky, 7 block) biome: error:crimson jungle local difficulty: 6.75//0.00 (day error404 not found) sounds: 27/247 + 0/8

"goooood morning!" dbubs calls, over on the other side of the little nook. he's busy rummaging through barrels, perhaps trying to find some breakfast. it’s unlikely he has any food stored; when he’s hungry, he hunts, and the jungle always provides.

"mornin'," patho says, rubbing his face. he sits up- and then pauses. there are weeping vines wrapped tightly around his legs. he sighs. “dbubs, you’re doing it again.”

“what?" dbubs manages to sound surprised. "no! no, i’m not, i’m- i’m just over here, minding my own business, crafting a loom.”

“a loom,” patho repeats flatly.

“yes! for um, for banners.”

“do you even have any wool?”

“do i ha- uh, of course! yes, of course i do.”

“can i see it?”

“no. no, i- i just ate it, actually. um-”

“you ate it?”

“yeah. sorry.”

patho sighs again. he kicks the weeping vines away. "i uh, i didn't mean to be gone for so long," he says, rising to his feet. "but, you know, i- i got held up with a job."

"a job?" dbubs glances over his shoulder at patho, squinting. "what kinda job?"

patho stretches his arms above his head, hearing both his natural and mechanical shoulder joints pop. "some guys out west are tryin' to make a portal out of hels."

"a portal?" dbubs's mouth falls open. "oh, for goodness sakes- and you call me a liar!"

patho knows better than to take offense. "it's true. they've got a player who came here from another world."

"uh huh." dbubs scoffs, but he can't quite hide the anxious shimmer in his eyes. "yeah, yeah, sure... so- i mean, did you do it, then? make them a portal?"

"basically." patho shrugs. "i uh, i told them everything they needed to know, to make one."

"right. you told th- okay." dbubs nods, bites his lip. "um- you didn't stay? to see the portal? or, uh…”

patho chuckles, crossing the distance to put his arms around dbubs's waist. "nah. i mean, come on, you know me, dbubs. i'm a- i'm a hels player, through and through. what's the rest of the universe got that's better than this place, right?"

dbubs grins at that, slotting his arms through patho's. "oh, you- you're such an idiot! y'know, i uh, i've been outside'a hels before and i- um, let me tell ya, you're missing out!"

"mhmm." patho smiles even though his mask is on. he knows dbubs can tell.

"yeah! "dbubs nods vigorously. "and, uh, there's- i got a whole world that's just mine!"

"is that right?" patho rests his chin on the top of dbubs's head. "tell me about it."

"it's a beautiful world, of course. my perfect builds, i ha-"

"of course."

"- uh, hey! quit interruptin'!"

"sorry, sorry."

"i di- thank you. so i um, i built a big ol' crastle, with a- hyeugh, a sorta um, horse course... y'know, with th- with the fastest horses anyone ever saw, one-stick horses, and- and uh, everyone was really impressed…”

this won’t last forever. it’ll only be a matter of weeks, months if they’re lucky, before patho won’t be able to ignore the itch to wander again. before the comfort and familiarity of the jungle becomes unbearable. before dbubs grows so used to his presence that the jungle itself tries to overtake him, the way it has dbubs- vines and veins of red.

he’ll leave without warning in the middle of the night, while dbubs is sleeping, because trying to leave while dbubs is awake never ends well. he’ll leave without a word and try not to think about the frantic whispers he knows dbubs sends him on lonely nights, despite knowing patho will never receive them (it’s the only time he regrets fusing his communicator with his arm- but how was he supposed to know he’d hear it in his mind? how was he supposed to know that disabling the chat was the only way not to lose himself completely to the endless flood of data?)

he’ll stay away long enough for dbubs to shatter apart, losing himself to the wildness of the jungle, and come back together. he’ll wait until dbubs has recovered from his grief, so that the next time dbubs sees him there will only be joy. because no matter how many times patho hurts him, dbubs always forgets it eventually.

“… so, you see, ol’ dbubs been workin' on a new technique, using the uh. grade- uh, gradient? block palettes... to create depth. ah hah! so- so listen, now, to teacher! it all starts with the color scheme..."

this won’t last forever. so for now, patho closes his eyes and listens.

error fps t: b: tx rx c: (s) d: , pc: , pu: , ab: e: , b: , sd: p: t: error fc: xyz: / / block: chunk: facing: ( )( / ) client light: ( sky, block) biome: error: local difficulty: // (day error404 not found) sounds: 1/247 + 0/8

~*~

[bluskye-27]

I hope it's ok if i send another req INSLFNWOFMISNDW (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) ALSO I LOVE UR WORKS KANFKSNDKMSODNS (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

4 the req, i would love 2 req Katakuri & F!S/O (u can choose between scenario/hcs ehehehe) (〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃) S/O always stares/looks at him w/ a precious smile as if S/O is looking at an amazing view every time he talks 2 his S/O cz S/O loves his face (especially w/o his scarf) KWNFLIWJKFMWODN IM CONFUSED HOW 2 DESCRIBE IT BUT YEA I TRIED MY BEST ( ◜‿◝ )♡

C'MERE, LEMME GIVE U A KISS & A HUG MUEHEHEHEHE ♡(> ਊ <)♡ THX A LOT (｡・//ε//・｡)

Katakuri with Loving! Fem! S/O

Summary: You, Katakuri's girlfriend, have a habit for admiring your boyfriend's face. I mean, who wouldn't fell in love with the cute mochi man?

- Let me tell you how you and Katakuri first met...

- When you first arrived at Whole Cake Island, you chose Komugi Island as your permanent residence.

- You were amazed and awestruck by the sweets and pastries adorning the whole island. Not to mention, the kind citizens too.

- Everyday is a good day since you always wanted to live here, the treats suiting your sweet tongue.

- Heck, you might get diabetes for eating too much sugary sweets everyday!

- It was another day when the Minister of Flour came to visit. You never met him and only knew a few things about him from your neighbors. Something about being the perfect child and strongest among the Charlotte children.

- Ever since learning about him, you became intrigued by him and went out to see him along with your new friends.

- Oh lord, when you saw him, you were like: 😳😵‍💫❤️

- NO ONE TOLD YOU HE'S VERY HANDSOME!

- You almost fainted when he turned to look at you but luckily your friends caught you from falling to the ground.

- In Katakuri's POV, he saw this weird female resident being fanned by her friends, trying to wake her up from her dazed state. As the leader of this island, it was his duty to tend to his citizens needs so he went to her, assessing the situation.

- "What happened here?" Katakuri asked your two friends, looking at you in confusion.

- You heard an unknown voice spoke up so you opened your eyes just to see those striking magenta eyes looking down at you. And then you promptly fainted with a red face and dopey smile.

- Your friends facepalmed at you while Katakuri was confused but curious at the same time. What the fuck is happening??

......

- Now that the two of you are dating, you can't help but admire him every time of the day, everyday.

- Katakuri would look at you whenever you let out a dazed sigh just to be flustered when you grinned and winked at him before mouthing "I love you~"

- And when he showed his entire face to you, he expected you to be disgusted but what happened was the complete opposite. You fell in love with him more!

- You would gush and coo whenever he didn't wear his scarf, pinching his cheek slightly and watches as it turned pink due to embarrassment.

- And you would pepper his face with kisses whenever you can.

- Gosh, you love this man. Your mochi man ❤️

Thanks for requesting to me again, @kotaro16 ! Love 'ya too! ;)

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP MEMES FROM REDDIT 5/24/2023

“What is it with insufferable people and gaping their mouths open like fucking whales when they speak?” “I hate accountability too.” “Why cheat when you can leave the relationship?” “I guess we should decide who we’re eating first.” “Target in sight-- take aim and be ready to fire at my cue” "This body is weak, I must find a new host.” “So who wants an orgy if the elevator gets stuck?” “That might be kinda hot if everyone’s in the mood.” "Calm down, calm down, I said scabies not rabies" “Do you still have lice?” “Does anyone have a handkerchief, scarf or some garment I can borrow? I promise to return it.” “100% mortality rate my ass!” “Given your history, do you think you should be in here?” “Say nothing. Just laugh hysterically like someone’s just told you the funniest joke you’ve ever heard.” “Just taking this baby for its test ride. We've fixed it 3 times this week.” “You can add green onions to almost everything. “You have become the very thing you swore to destroy.” “Once every few months?!?” “What exactly does she want to know about her vagina?” “The standard has been pretty fucking low for a very long time but it's clear today that the mask of integrity has totally fallen from the face of greed.” “I can only imagine how funny that must have been from your neighbors perspective.” “Did you light your house on fire to kill the bedbugs?!?” “Just let me be happy before I die.” “Two chicks at the same time, man.” “You got a million bucks?” “You ever meet some of those people who are just happy people? Like genuinely happy, and kind.” “I want to do shrooms and experience ego death, cause god damn it sounds so horrendous and scary, but so beautiful and enlightening.” “I want to hit a crocodile in the face with a frying pan.” “I desperately want to be genuinely happy with what I have but I feel a fire burning deep inside me telling me that I havent hit the top of the mountain yet.” “I just wanna be the hottest goth at the gas station.” “Hunt a boar and eat it in a fire camp.” “My goal is to Eiffel Tower someone.” “Giraffes. No, I won’t explain myself.” “Not kinkshaming but kinkquestioning. Kinkpondering.” “I'm sorry for ruining 4.5k people's day.” “I’m so glad I don’t know what a lot of these are.” “Those disgusting, dirty little perverts.” “So long as everyone involved consents then I don't care, honestly.” “Rule 4, no chili powder in the bedroom.” “Sure enough, it was a small plastic baby doll he has shoved up his ass and then gave birth to.” “How do I delete my vision history?” “Yeah don't actually shove stuff up your ass unless you have a way to remove it Like a rope or a flared base Or some really strong ass muscles.” “Is it possible to kink shame someone who's into humiliation?” “I can not be responsible for anything I do.” “Lady that was dressed in full nurse regalia just took a squat and pissed in her nurse pants in the middle of a CVS parking lot.” “How do you feel about wigs?” “Are you sure there is tea in there?” “I wish Tinkerbell would poop rainbows on my face.” “Equal cake for everyone?” “Made it look so easy. That was badass.” “This takes me back to my childhood.” “Now I want my face painted!” “His jiggling is almost hypnotic. It's like a lava lamp.” “This is not the belly-dancer I ordered.” “So his red flags are all women!??!” “I love that our oceans are still a mystery to us.” “The earth is fucking weird.” “I'd hate to have a little tailbutt like that. I'd probably get it caught on everything.” “Wow that looks like a creature from a S. Dali painting!” “Why bother looking into outer space for aliens when we can just look at the bottom of our own oceans?” “You’re trying to tell me THAT isn’t from outer space?!?” “No idea what it is but it looks beautiful” “Once you decide to believe something, not only without evidence but in spite of it, all bets are off.” “It’s awful when a blowup doll gets a mind of its own. “The best pranks are the ones intended to confuse, not abuse.”

[peachyysugaa]

scream

― youtuber!park sunghoon x streamer!gn!reader

it's hard to stream horror video games when your neighbor is always filming dangerous mukbangs and screaming.

genre: e2l, neighbors au, angst to fluff, humor

wc: 3.2k

warnings: horror game mentions, cw food and mentions of cooking live things (inspired by this youtuber), sunghoon's a jerk at first :<, one mention of underage drinking (don't follow mc's example pls fisnfkskf), a few swear words

part of my youtuber enhypen series, the last upload! feel free to read on its own! ♞──────────────────────────♞

"AAAGH!" and there it is. your brows furrow upon hearing your neighbor's cry. does he not understand how thin these walls are?! there's a reason only college students stay here! grimacing, you ignore it and move your mouse to look around the dark house.

"oh shoot, i wonder if he's behind me?" you say to your audience while watching your viewers fill the chat with your custom subscriber emojis. "i'm going to do it, everyone, just―"

"OHMYGODOHMYGOD WHYYY?!"

more like why couldn't you be quiet?! you close your eyes in frustration but attempt to keep a straight face for the people watching you. "sorry if you heard that, i guess someone's having a bad day?" you chuckle nervously as you turn around in the video game to see a black slender figure. "oh! whoa, okay, i'm just going to run over here."

you got out of the creepy house and made it to the back of it to see a piece of paper on the wall. "oh, here! okay, this is going to be my last piece unless―whoa!!" the jumpscare comes up, and you're left taken aback as the game over screen appears. laughing at your shocked self, you're filled with glee upon seeing the audience laugh or scream with you. "that was really fun, everyone. i got some homework to do though, so i'll see you all next time i stream! bye bye!" you wave goodbye to the camera and watch as the viewer number drops gradually. after a few minutes, you shut off your stream, place your headphones on its stand, and push back in your secret labs chair with a sigh. "why did i have to live next to a maniac...?" you grumble.

you got out of the creepy house and made it to the back of it to see a piece of paper on the wall. "oh, here! okay, this is going to be my last piece unless―whoa!!" the jumpscare comes up, and you're left taken aback as the game over screen appears. laughing at your shocked self, you're filled with glee upon seeing the audience laugh or scream with you. "that was really fun, everyone. i got some homework to do though, so i'll see you all next time i stream! bye bye!" you wave goodbye to the camera and watch as the viewer number drops gradually. after a few minutes, you shut off your stream, place your headphones on its stand, and push back in your secret labs chair with a sigh. "why did i have to live next to a maniac...?" you grumble.

as if on cue, another scream is heard from the other side of the wall. "EEE! oh my god, i'm going to do it, i'm going to do it!"

what on earth was this kid doing that he was screaming every weekend? you didn't even scream that much, and you played horror games for a living! your stomach growls as you're thinking this and as a living human being, you listen to it and get up to make ramyeon. however, even as you're making your dinner and even as you're trying to enjoy it with some show playing on the tv, of course, you have to be subjected to your neighbor's loud yells. once you're finished, you notice how oddly quiet it is and decide to give whoever this guy was a piece of your mind.

marching over with your keys in hand, you knock aggressively on apartment no. 505 until it opens. behind the door is a tall male with a face so well-proportioned you're thinking it's possible that some being above sculpted it themselves. his nose is accented with one mole on the side of his nose bridge and another a few centimeters under the opposite eye. "can i help you?" his rich voice asks with a slight sting to it.

you snap yourself out of it by blinking, incredulous that you almost forgot your mission just because he has a handsome face. "yea, you can help me by being quieter," you boldly state with your arms crossed in front of your chest. "you realize you're not the only one living in this complex, right? the walls are so thin, i can hear you screaming every time."

the male raises an eyebrow at you and scoffs to the side as if he can't believe what he's hearing. "can you just deal with it? some of us have to make a living."

"news flash, dude, that's all of us! the only people who would be willing to live in this place are college students! listen, i stream horror games for my work, and i don't even scream as loud as you," you retort and point your index finger from you to him. "so i think you should learn how to keep your volume down."

"and why haven't i heard these complaints from anyone else?" he tries to debate back.

"maybe because they're just quietly tolerating you. as for me, i can't anymore, so take this as your first warning, room 505." you turn around quickly with a huff and speed to your apartment next door.

as you're above to close the door, you hear him shout back at you. "my name's park sunghoon, room 506. remember it, because i'm going to make your life a living hell."

"l/n y/n, park sunghoon. we'll see about that." with that, you both simultaneously shut your doors with a slam that causes the walls to shudder a bit.

oh, he kept his promise alright. from stare-downs in the hallway, to bringing weird live animals in the elevator at the same time you're in there, to snarky remarks at the entrance that almost always lead to fights, park sunghoon has definitely made your life hell. to make matters worse, his screaming got even louder. you're sure that's a violation of some rule, right? wrong, the management for the building doesn't care all too much, as long as he's not doing anything illegal and nobody else has complained. you get what you paid for is the right saying here.

you were not having it. as a streamer and college student, weekends are your days with the freest time, and he took that from you. you found out that he was not just a college student but a youtuber, one that filmed dangerous mukbangs with live animals that he would then cook and eat, and because of that, he had also chosen to film on weekends. that was exactly why you had always encountered his screaming on days you were streaming, and now, tired of how petty he was, you decided to just cram your weekdays with school and streaming.

at first, it was fine, but as your days became packed with more studying on the weekends at the library to avoid sunghoon, you grew tired: tired of the crammed weekdays and for god's sake, tired of living your life running away. taking out a bottle of peach soju that your upperclassman dancer friend had snuck for you, you pop it open and make your way to the balcony that you barely used.

as you take a swig of the alcoholic beverage, you prop yourself onto the railing and gaze at the buildings before you, their lights blinding you from the stars of the night sky. maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's your low energy state, but something compels you to scream. "i'm so tired!!" you yell out to the skyline. letting out a sigh, you plop down into the spare plastic chair and go for another drink.

"drinking your worries away? that's not going to solve anything," a male voice speaks up. your eyes catch sight of sunghoon, who has slid open his own balcony door. he's dressed in a casual beige hoodie and sweats as if he had spent the day just relaxing.

"as if you care," you mumble with your lips pressed against the green glass. "you're literally at the root of all my problems."

he scoffs at your statement. "this again? look, i'm getting tired of you placing all this blame on me when i'm—"

"are you so sure about that?" you calmly and sternly interrupt. the alcohol really has unlocked your usually inhibited thoughts. "why did i move my streaming days onto the weekdays when i normally spend them studying? because your screaming on the weekends always got picked up by my mic. why do i get 4 hours of sleep every day and study all night at the library on weekends?" it's like when sunghoon had taken a stick to prod at you, the floodgates burst open. you weren't stopping until you gave him a piece of your mind. "because i have to cram my streaming schedule and studying schedule to accommodate to your filming one. maybe i am blaming you, but i've tried my best to do my job all while studying and having to deal with an asshole like yourself who's so inconsiderate that he can't even do one thing for his neighbor who's practically dying to adjust their lifestyle because of someone else's."

your neighbor goes silent after that, choosing to just sigh and go back inside his apartment. you relish in the silence that comes after he shuts the door and down the rest of your bottle before heading back inside yourself. strangely after that incident, you heard less and less of sunghoon on the weekend and thus were able to return to your normal schedule. even while passing by him, he kept his mouth shut and would just nod a cordial hello. you guess what you said that night really got through to him.

and he proves that because after about three weekends, you hear a knock on your door. upon opening it, you're surprised to see sunghoon behind it, his hands behind his back as he shifts side to side. "oh, hello sunghoon," you greet him awkwardly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"hey y/n," he returns. the youtuber stops fidgeting for a moment and bows after gathering up some courage. "listen, i just want to say i'm sorry." he looks up at your face, searching for some sign of hatred and he thankfully finds none, so he continues. "i didn't realize how much of an asshole i was until you said that. i was just thinking about myself and not about you or anybody else. i hope i was able to prove it to you these past three weeks, and i promise i won't go back to my old habits."

your silence is not so reassuring, so sunghoon nervously lifts his head to peek at your face to find an astonished expression. you stammer a little bit and hold the doorframe to keep yourself in place. "u-uh... gosh, i don't know what to say, sunghoon," you stutter. then, you notice another neighbor exiting the elevator, looking at the two of you strangely since sunghoon is still lowering his head. "oh! you can stand up straight now! please."

he does as you say, smiling sheepishly, and you notice how much better he looks smiling than the usual smirks he had sent you before. "apology accepted, sunghoon."

"r-really?"

you nod. "i mean, you really have proven yourself lately, so i don't see why i shouldn't."

"great!" his smile grows wider, making you blush and look anywhere but his face. "then i have a surprise for you to start over." you shoot him a confused look that he disregards out of boyish excitement. "close up, come over to my place for a few."

"o-okay, give me a moment, i'll be right over," you say as he rushes back to his apartment. you hurriedly grab your keys and look in the mirror next to your door to smooth out your hair before you're scolding yourself for caring about looks when he literally just saw you. closing the door, you lock up, head over to room 505, and knock.

"it's open," his voice calls from inside, and with that, you push the door open to find the living space of your own apartment, except totally flipped. to your left is a small living room, complete with a two-seater couch, a tv stand, and a tv. whereas to your right, there was a dining room fit for two, the kitchen right behind it before a hallway leads to the single bedroom and bathroom. you're too busy taking in this opposite room that you don't notice the fish tank on the round table full of live fish. "come over here," he says with an enthusiastic grin.

"yah, park sunghoon. what in the world is this?" you say flabbergasted.

"i'm showing you what i do for a living and cooking you a fresh meal," is all he has to say as you grimace and reluctantly move towards him. "this is my second time cooking it, so it should go a lot better."

"and what exactly is... it?"

"mudfish, way less than what i usually have for mukbangs though." you know, you had completely forgotten what the guy did on youtube since his handsome face distracted you for a handful of moments, but now reality had set in for you: he was going to do this live in front of you.

if you're uncomfortable with cooking live fresh food, please skip to the next italicized line!

"i swear to god, park sunghoon, if you do anything stupid, consider this restart invalid. you'll be hearing from my lawyer," you unsuccessfully warn him as you watch him put on some gloves and grab a cup of salt.

"relax, you're with me. i'm practically a pro," he tries reassuring you, but then he sprinkles the salt inside the tank. the fish start splashing around violently, causing you to let out a small yelp as some splashes of water get on you. "yaaah, this is way better than last time!"

"is this what you do every weekend?!" you shout at a low volume and cover your eyes with your hands.

"you can look now, it's fine," sunghoon says, pointing at the fish. you peek through the gaps between your fingers to see that the fish have stopped moving. sunghoon smirks as you take your hands away from your face. "see? i'm a pro."

coating and deep frying starts here!

he starts to coat them one by one in egg and flour and lays them down on a baking pan lined with paper. you watch as he handles each one delicately with concentration. "do you want me to start the oil?" you offer.

"oh! that would be great, thanks! the wok is already on the stove, just turn it on," he explains. you find the wok exactly where he had told you and turn on the gas stove accordingly, as if you've been here hundreds of times before, but in reality, you just have the same appliances. by the time the oil has been heated to the right temperature, sunghoon has already finished coating the fish. the two of you work together to place each one in the oil, listening to them sizzle and pop.

"we make a good team," sunghoon comments once every fish has started frying. you take care of the tongs and move them around when appropriate. "you should come by and guest star in one of my videos."

"if it's anything like today's, no thank you," you politely reject.

"what if... i invite you to eat after i cook?" he shoots his shot again. rolling your eyes playfully, you see that the fish are all thoroughly fried and turn off the fire. with his own tongs, sunghoon puts the fish on the plate as you go off to prepare two bowls of rice. the small dining room table gets cleaned up, so the two of you can start your meal. "okay, your answer?"

"depends on how good this mudfish is," you reply, holding up a fried fish with your chopsticks. he follows suit, and you two cheer your meals together.

"i'll eat well," the both of you say in harmony. finally, you take a bite of the crispy fish and hum in satisfaction, your eyes widening.

"mm! it's really good!" you compliment as he takes joy in your pleased expression.

"i'll take that as a yes to my question then?"

"hoon, i'll come over whenever you want me to," you exaggerate.

"deal," he accepts quickly so that you can't take it back. and that's how your first meal went with park sunghoon. soon enough, one meal turned into two, to five, to ten, until you're basically spending a lot of time with the youtuber. pretty much every weekend, you and sunghoon set it up so that you would cook and eat together in the afternoon so that you would have the rest of the evening to stream.

at some point, you find out that his major is biology, which is similar to your own in biochemistry, so your time with sunghoon extends to studying together and eventually gaming. one of you is always at the other's place and vice versa like you couldn't be without each other for a single moment.

you're eating takoyaki with said boy in your apartment this time, staring at his well-proportioned facial features as you chew slowly and think. he catches your unwavering gaze and chuckles. "is there something on my face, y/n?"

"i'm just thinking," you vaguely reply.

"about the thing on my face?" you shake your head at this. "then what is it? i know i'm really handsome and all, but you literally see me all the time."

"that's exactly my point!" you cry out as if you hit eureka, shocking him in the process. "we're together all the time. we were literally enemies at first, and now it's like we're dating! what is this, some kind of shitty fanfiction?" yes

"well, do you want us to date?" luckily, you had just swallowed the last bit of your takoyaki ball because that could've made you choke. instead, you suddenly start coughing, and he pushes your water towards you.

the coldness of the water does nothing to help your rising temperature as you take big gulps of it. "wh-what kind of question is that?" you ask, patting your mouth dry with a nearby tissue.

"a serious one," he answers nonchalantly. "because i like you." stream dreamcatcher BEcause

"huh? since when?" you're practically in disbelief. no way sunghoon liked you back. you had just discovered your own feelings not too long ago when you had tucked him in after an intense study session and he whispered your name. ever since then, you got butterflies in your stomach around him, and not because he made it a mukbang. (but you wouldn't put it past him?)

the male rubs the back of his neck. "it's been a while. i just know that i like you."

"st-stop saying that!" you wave your hands in front of your face frantically to hide the redness you know that has spread all over.

"oh? or what, room 506?" he gets up from his seat across from you to prop his elbows on the table, getting a closer look at your cute, embarrassed appearance as he rests his head on his hands. "make me," he prods some more.

reminiscent of the first time you cooked together, you peeked through your fingers to witness his adorable grin waiting for you. as if wanting you to seal the deal, he closes his eyes and smiles with just his lips. you shyly reach out to grab his cheeks, taking a moment to brush the fringe out of his eyes so you can adore the moles that dotted his face, and slowly bring your own lips towards his to press them together in a kiss.

it's short but sweet, and soon you're pulling away and finding your fingers more interesting. sunghoon's eyes flutter open and fondly gazed at you. "be mine?" he speaks up.

"if you stop making my heart scream, then yeah," you mumble, stealing a glance at his smug smile. he laughs, stands up, and walks over to your side of the table. turning your chair around as if you weighed nothing, he places his hands on the table behind you, engaging you in between his long limbs.

"sweetheart, that's the whole point," he says, leaning down to chase your lips and kiss you until your heart can't take it anymore. you're both screaming on the inside as your hearts keep pounding in your chests, but at least this time it's from your pure feelings towards each other.

a/n: omg this is the last of captured on camera EEE thank you all so so much for being here with me on this journey of my first one-shot series <3 this really shows my growth as a writer, and i'm so glad i could share it with y'all! i hope you all look forward to my next one-shot series~

taglist: @cha-raena @imjustme-things @misoiishi @rikitaiyaki @fiantomartell

[fireemblems24]

Crimson Flower - Final (Both Chapters)

Alright guys, I'm not ready. This will be 3/4 routes finished with only two chapters left in AM and then it's all done.

Thoughts below.

PRE-BATTLE

OK, it's been forever since I last played Crimson Flower while everyone else caught up.

Time to pick someone for Byleth to marry. And, as promised, picking Edelgard. So far Claude's and Rhea's both seemed very different, so curious to see how Edelgard's goes. I really hope all the women's aren't super lovey and all the guys are more removed like Claude was. Because FEH did that all the time and it got really annoying.

Aaaaand time for the mission.

The timing couldn't be worse though. Being the big, giant nation deciding to invade and conquer the smaller one "for their own good" and reunite the two lands that used to be part of the same nation. Because that totally isn't happening right now as we speak. /s

And, like, I know, fiction and reality, but oof this timing is just BAD. And CF plays is so straight and on the nose too. Couldn't we get just a wee bit of nuance? A single moment of self-reflection?

I'm going to try hard to ignore how this parallels real life right now, but seeing how it's so important and prominent in the news and how personal social media is making this war (like actually seeing the faces, not just numbers), it's going to be kinda hard. FYI.

But yeah, different story, time to try and get immersed.

Oh, shit, mentioning King Dimitri. I'm not ready for this, guys.

Rhea looks badass in that outfit. Oh, she's Serios know. Cool. Too bad she's dying this chapter :(

I forgot Dimitri has both eyes in this route. It's so weird looking. I'm not used to it.

Oh, shit, Dedue. My boy, you don't deserve this.

"So long as I'm at your side, there is nothing to fear." - Dedue to Dimitri (my heart)

They're both dying today :(

What is Dedue planning :( I know everyone said there's two endings to this based on some action Dedue takes. I'm so nervous. I don't want Dedue to suffer.

Man, I feel like the bad guy. Why the hell did Edelgard think going around and killing everyone who wouldn't bow to her ideals was the solution to greed????

I love how we're judging Dimitri for not introducing himself and having a "fair fight" while we're screaming about the glory of Imperialism and how it's good actually and working with the evil death cult people.

"At the present the words 'fair fight' do not seem to suit Dimitri anymore." OMG guys this is borderline funny. It's hysterical that an aggressive, invading force is getting preachy because the guy they've failed to kill for 5 years straight doesn't want challenge them to a joust I'm just ahsdhfalehfaer 😂😂😂😂

"He disliked making victims of his friends, but other than that, he will do most anything these days . . ." Says the guy who's prologue is helping TWSITD, your allies, take control of their victims-tortured-into crests beasts. The hypocrisy is real.

"If he stops at nothing to continue the onslaught, I cannot imagine what will become of the battlefield." Are we REALLY blaming DIMITRI for the deaths caused during this war????

I feel like this game is straight-up gas-lighting me right now. "No, it's Dimitri's fault people are dying because we're invading his country. He's a bad, bad man for not challenging us in a fair fight." And you KNOW that Edelgard and Claude get praised up and down for being crafty and sneaky.

This feels EXACTLY like that scene in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid where the brother looks at the pictures of him partying and is like "that's not me." Except CF wants me to take Edelgard and Hubert seriously when they say that. It's so bad 😂😂😂

Edelgard is going to "free" Dimitri by killing him? Holy shit. Are we REALLY saying that Dimitri should be grateful that Edelgard's killing him?????

Like, Edelgard has some actual good points, and the whole "conquer the world to make it right under my rule" is an interesting plot, but it's not interesting when the plot is saying "oh, the neighboring countries are not playing by the rules, how! evil!, it's THEIR fault people are dying in this war we're insisting on" and, like, wants me to actually agree.

Edelgard deserved so much better than this shit writing guys. The potential drama is real, the awesome battle of ideals is real, but CF is just . . . not letting anything interesting happen and is saying that we're killing Dimitri for his own good and I'm just ashifla;hserilaheriow;eriha isn't killing someone the writing tries to make you care about so much of a better story like AM is doing for Edelgard? But, no, instead we get "Dimitri's not playing fair! It's his fault people are dying in this war WE started!" And just like .... whyyyyyy I scream into the void. CF really should've been my favorite or at least tied with AM.

This route is so worried about making sure you, Byleth/self-insert, feel like the good guy, it's watered CF down to unimaginative levels of bland that's equal parts funny and frustrating.

Anyways, it's almost over. After having to kill Dimitri, Dedue, and Rhea, I'll at least get to beat Thales seven ways to Sunday, and while I honestly don't really hate TWSITD because they're just not enough to them to feel much of anything, it'll be fun to, for once, actually kill someone I don't really like in CF.

Sucks that, again, none of the Black Eagles got to say anything.

BATTLE - #1

I forgot I made Hubert my dancer. 😂😂😂

And Ferdinand is so bad in this playthrough. Geeze, it's so weird when his SS unit was God tier.

And you know who's killing Dimitri, right? Felix.

I will make sure Edelgard engages Dimitri too, to get that sweet-sweet unique dialogue.

OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. I was ready to kill Dimitri and Dedue, but Sylvain is here too??? WHHHHHYYYYY

Ahahaha, you know Felix is killing Sylvain too. 100% this IS happening. Felix you're going to kill your dad and ALL your friends! (I swear, I love Felix).

I already killed Ingrid, so maybe I won't have to kill Gilbert, Annette, Mercedes, or Ashe. Though, when Rhea's reinforcements show up, who knows :( Because I know they won't be there for the TWSITD chapter. But at the same time "kill them all!" is kinda fun.

Guys, I almost forgot to restore the batallions, and Byleth was in the yellow. Good thing I noticed that. That would've SUCKED.

Alright, time to do this.

"Leave no enemy general alive, least of all King Dimitri." My heart 😭

But at the same time, this is kinda fun, not gonna lie. It's going to be hella tragic having Felix behead Dimitri and Sylvain, and have Dedue and Dimitri have a last stand together.

It also "feels good" that the worst CF could come up with to prove Dimitri's a bad guy that we must destroy is that he's not introducing himself and politely challenging us to a duel 😂😂😂😂

My Felix is a badass though. First thing he's doing is making a beeline towards Sylvain. I'm gonna soak this drama up.

Man, I wish I had more fliers.

Whhhat why did that soldier change into a beast guy??

Dimitri didn't even know about it??

Dedue why 😭😭😭😭😭 OMG, no, no, this is what everyone meant, didn't they. Fuck. Dedue's going to turn himself into a beast to save Dimitri 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And they didn't even tell Dimitri about it. Dedue nor Sylvain 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"You call this hope?!" Dimitri doesn't approve.

Man, it feels like a different writer wrote this dialogue. When Hubert, Edelgard, and Byleth are chatting, it's all "Dimitri's evil because he's not playing nice and by not letting us kill him without fighting back, he's getting his soldiers killed." Why didn't they just make Dimitri know about these beasts so he at least looks like a bad guy? Hubert even said "he'll do anything to win," but clearly not?? Big missed opportunity to see roaring rampage of revenge Dimitri, instead I'm just getting AM!Lite

Oh, shit, here comes Mercedes. 😭😭 She is literally the only one I've refused to kill so far (despite joking about "kill em all" I spared her in VW, because HOW).

Edelgard's like "we're in danger" - from what, Mercedes making a bad batch of cookies?

Oh, shit, they do get unique dialogue. Sylvain bringing up their promise to die together 😭😭😭

Ok, guys, I'm starting to ship Sylvix with all this CF drama and their god-awful paired ending being so tragic.

Sylvain beat the holy fucking shit out of Felix, holy shit. I did not expect that. If my boy didn't use guard, he'd be toast right now.

Sylvain's dead :(

And Felix needs to get healed asap

So the bolting person actually does a heap of damage to m CF!Lindhardt. my SS!Lindhardt never took any magical damage :( So Petra to the rescue.

Petra is a queen, y'all.

Oh, here comes Rhea. Those reinforcements left some of my weaker units in a bad spot, ouch.

Rhea went down so easy this route. Oh, she's just retreating. That bolting mage left too, which is nice.

Dimitri doesn't have the luxury to retreat. Too true. :(

Felix is killing Mercedes now. No special dialogue, but that's expected. "Why follow an Emperor who would start such a war?" Mercie whyyyyy 😭😭😭 Now she's dead, and apologizing to Dimitri 😭😭😭😭😭😭 That's the first time I killed Mercie, guys. And Dimitri sounds so sad. If only he knew Felix was behind all of it - Ingrid, Rodrigue, Mercie, Sylvain - Felix has killed all of them.

And now, Felix is killing Dedue.

Shit 😭😭😭 Dedue's dead. Ugh. It's like genuinely not fun playing this route. All I do is kill characters I like over and over in the name of Edelgard's ideals. This better have some banger endings to make all this misery worth it.

Is there a single chapter in this route where you actually kill someone who wants to hurt Edelgard or the Empire? I feel like such a bully right now. The real life war certainly isn't helping.

But, yeah, it's almost over.

Was I right about Dedue turning into a beast though? Because that didn't happen?

Ok, but why does the "effective" symbol show up around Dimitri no matter what unit type I send towards him? I think I asked this before in VW, but I don't remember.

Alright, guys, time to kill Dimitri.

Dude, he's going to gut everyone who attacks him. He has a 92% chance of doing 30x2 to Edelgard. She's got a 43% chance of doing 45. Yikes. And she's like my first or second best unit. (Did I post this because I'm proud of my boy, yes, yes I did).

WTF was that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Must you continue to reconquer?" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 What is she even talking about?? This game's not even trying anymore. I can't take this seriously. I can't. Am I really supposed to be rooting for Edelgard here? 😂😂 OMG how lame is that response.

No wonder this game never challenged Edelgard on anything, if THAT'S what her rebuttal is 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Also, she missed and now she's got 11 HP left after that "epic" comeback.

Felix has better chances, banking on that 47% critical to go off.

Ohhhhhh, burn, he called Felix, Edelgard's lapdog. And brought up that he killed Rodrigue, and all Felix can say is "I said I'd cut anyone down who got in my way?" But, like, wtf is Felix even doing in CF? What's he fighting for, exactly??

Ah, well, I made my boy suffer by killing all his buddies. I'll make nice with him once this is over and we're back in AM.

Shit, Dimitri hits like a truck. He can fucking one-shot my Byleth. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Only SS!Serios was this hard to kill.

Byleth hit though. So Dimitri's dead :(

Felix MVP, as expected. "Felix's motivation is maxed out" 😂😂😂 He's hyped after killing Sylvain, Mercedes, and Dimitri.

POST BATTLE #1 -

I'm so glad that battle is over.

Oh, shit, Dedue's back. Even now Dimitri's telling Dedue to stop calling him "majesty"

I've never felt like such a bad guy playing a video game in my life. It really feels like we were supposed to root for Dimitri here (and Claude, and Flayn and Seteth, and Judith, and - you get the idea) But especially here. I don't know if it's because it's Dimitri, or that Dedue is here or what but 😭😭😭

"Because of you, I was able to live on until today. You saved me." - Dedue (guys, this is like a reverse of their A-support).

I'm really expecting the "Game over" screen. Like. Fuck.

"Despite all, I count myself a lucky man." My shipping heart is dying, everyone. Like, if they cut Dedue from 3 Hopes, I will find a way inside COVID-locked Japan and hold Nintendo hostage until they amend that.

"Is that so? I see . . . I am glad." So Dimitri's dying in Dedue's arms. Why.

Well, if CF's good for one thing, it's plenty of Dimitri/Dedue, Sylvain/Felix, and Felix/Dimitri angst.

Oh, right, shit, we're about to beat Rhea up with her own mother's body. Ugh. That's . . . so wrong.

Haha, I picked the "can we defeat them? option because I know Edelgard gets pissy the second Byleth falters on anything, and low and behold, I was right 😂😂😂

Why does Edelgard care about Dimitri?? Didn't she just like call for his head?

I love how Edelgard thinks her uncle played 4-D chess to get Dimitri to want revenge rather than, like, IDK slaughter his family in front of him. Maybe that had something to do with it? /s

WTF does she mean "he lost sight of his path as king." I saw Dimitri literally do 0 things wrong in this route. AM (post upgrade) or VW or SS Dimitri, sure but like CF!Dimitri??? This writing is whacked.

"There was nothing there I could to do save him." Because . . . you tried so hard?

I can't take this seriously. Why is she even upset? Why does she care about Dimitri at all?? Doesn't she not remember him?

So now she's like, yeah, I might've killed - like - a shit ton of people, but it's just part of the ebb and flow of "history"

"It's time for humanity to take this world back." WTF is she going on about?? Rhea's not the problem, sweetie, your allies are.

OK, guys, I'm about to look at the alt scene.

I hate this picture :( Edelgard really does go and behead him.

"You will bow your head before all the lives you trampled for your ideals." Dimitri just spitting facts though.

And Edelgard's like, OMG, why you so obsessed with me? It's not like I've been trying to kill you and invade your country for five years straight or anything, god. 😂😂😂

Edelgard really went and told Dimitri he's delusional and that it's too bad there's a war or he'd be a good leader. Like?? 😂😂😂

And then in the next scene explains she knows he's not delusional and says why he hates her guts?? Like, then did she just taunt him while dying for shits and giggles? Because that seems OOC. I blame CF's shitty writing.

So Edelgard just straight-up beheads an on his knees Dimitri. Ouch. She never would've let him live in her world, I don't think. I 100% got the better scene.

PRE-BATTLE - FINAL BATTLE

Glad that's over. Time to fight Edelgard's uncle, and Rhea I guess.

And yup, there he is. Finally time to squash him.

"Why are you here uncle?" Because he's ready to nuke you the moment Rhea's out of the way.

Who said it? Thales or Edelgard? "The very moment that humans will finally be free from the control of that false beast of a goddess. . ."

You know you're wrong when you're saying the same thing as those mole people lamo.

So when we kill Rhea, Arundel wins. Yippe. /s

"When this fight is over, a world completely controlled by the Empire will be upon us." - Again, who said this, Edelgard or her evil uncle?

Is this supposed to be the villain route? Because we're reaching super villain levels muhahahahah with this stuff.

Eelgard be like, I can stand letting you guys continue experimenting on children, but I draw the line at someone who can turn into a dragon having a position of authority.

I have a goddess sleeping inside me - that sounds like a banger book title. 100% a manga title. Write it down.

I seek to obliterate Rhea - except like, she left a huge bloody scar all across Fodlan to do so. Whatever. This is the last chapter. Finally.

"I thought that perhaps it wasn't the path you were meant to take." Hey, for once, Edelgard and I agree lol. 😂😂😂

Why is she still calling Byleth, "my teacher?" It always sounded a bit weird. Unless it's kinky roleplay, than hey, no judging.

"You are the one person in thie world who can share the heavy burden I must carry. Someone without equal who I can always share my mind to. . ." - Hubert found dead in Miami.

"Someone without equal" reeks of putting Byleth on a pedestal. She never really moved past the "stop crying just because your dad died, ugh" phrase did she?

Hoping to return Fodlan to its people (and by "people" we mean "Edelgard")

LAMO, what??? Why is she asking Rhea to stop fighting?? WTF does she plan to do? And why is Dimitri the only one she never gave a chance to surrender??

"What could be gained by shutting yourselves inside the capital of a kingdom without a king?" - to keep YOU out. If you haven't gotten the memo yet, they DON'T WANT YOU. You're forcing yourself on them.

"Unlike you, I have no desire to unleash wicked atrocities upon this world." You mean like, war? Because I struggle to think of something worse than war.

Hubert is like, they're not responding. No shit. 😂😂😂 😂😂😂 I don't think this is supposed to be funny.

"Unlike my attack on Garreg Mach five years ago, the church will not allow the inhabitants to evacuate." Wow. This is some class A, S-Tier writing. You win, Edelgard. Because you didn't lock citizens up, that makes alllll of this worth it. Noble Peace Prize when? #robbed

Except she totally did lock citizens inside in VW, right? Or did I misremember that?

"What the hell are they planning?" No one ever told Edelgard about siege warfare, hunh?

CYRIL!!! IDK, I'm happy so see him. I expected Catherine.

So I see CF really decided to humanize Rhea and let her provide a good foil to Edelgard and treat her character with respect - oh, wait, no. My bad. OFC Rhea's going full-blown super villain, because how else can they make Edelgard look like she's worth rooting for?

Why did she set fire though? Just sit there and wait. That's how most ancient warfare actually went.

God the writing is SO BAD. The writers really had no faith in Edelgard, did they?

If the city is on fire, why doesn't Edelgard just . . . wait? "Becasue fire cannot kill a dragon." Sorry, sorry, can't help myself.

More empty one-liners from all the Black Eagles. Only Hubert's was touching, but Edelgard barely acknowledges that he exists so . . .

BATTLE -

Oh, shit. I see Ashe, Annette, and Gilbert :(

But no Aruendel?? He'll be a reinforcement then? Is this the last chapter?

Edelgard being like "Fhirdiad's in a pitiful state." I'm sure that's 100% Rhea's sudden evil turn and not AT ALL the result of a 5 year long war. Nope. None whatsoever. /s

Petra is all "we probably should avoid the fire." Grand observation lamo.

Ashe's quote hits hard. "Our pride, our people, our king. You've torn them all apart. Haven't you had enough? What else is there for you to take?" Oof, that makes up a bit for joining Cornelia. And the angry face too. I'm proud of my boy right now.

FYI, Felix killed Ashe too.

My heart, Annette gets lines when Gilbert dies 😭😭 😭😭

And now she's aiming for Felix. And who's going to kill her? Felix. Of course Felix.

Oof, he can one-shot her. This is so wrong. And so delightfully right. Ugh. That sucked. Felix just killed her too.

Cyril trying to defend Rhea. OMG! He did a critical. Edelgard has 2 HP left. That is . . . not what I thought would happen. She got him afterwards, but still, I don't think she dodged him once.

And dude, Catherine. She's even worse than Dimitri. No one has a hit chance on her. God she's so badass and hot. I'm going to try and get Shamir to kill her if I can.

Oh well, Felix actually hit her twice with a 47.

Why does Edelgard assume Rhea hates all human life?

This version of Rhea is SOOOO much easier to kill than in SS. I expected her to generate a new shield every turn like in SS, but she doesn't this is making this infinitely easier. I also think she hits less hard and is less accurate. Literally in SS Ferdinand did 90% of the work, where here just about everyone gets to do something. I think the only one Rhea's actually hit is Edelgard lamo.

I had Edelgard and Byleth attack Rhea. And they really just went with "she's gone ham!evil and wants her mommy" instead of, well, interesting.

They needed to make her more accurate.

Felix MVP. Not surprised.

POST BATTLE

Oh, this one actually gets a cut scene!

LAMO, I love how Edelgard is talking about how humans don't need gods, but like Byleth is RIGHT THERE. 😂

OOf, Rhea really is killed with her own mother's bones. And bleeding out from the head. Yikes, that's graphic. Poor Rhea. No respect even in death. Even Dimitri and Claude got smudges or respect when they died.

Wait? How does Byleth survive if his crest thingy broke? Wasn't that basically like a magical pacemaker?? Didn't VW or SS (or both??) say that was what kept him alive after being born dead?

Is there a reason, or did the writers say "fuck it" to their own magic rules?

Also, how predictable that the cutscene was all about Edelgard x Byleth. Because that's all the route has really been about. All the interesting stuff got ignored or shoved aside.

Wait, wait, THAT's the ending??? Edelgard rules over everyone now, except she has Those Who Slither in the Dark to fight now. That's like . . . what?

How can that be the last chapter? Didn't we see her uncle doing the "evil uncle" shtick RIGHT before the final battle? You mean to tell me we don't get to kill him?

S-SUPPORT + ENDING STUFF

LAMO how the narration has this "Edelgard destroyed bad systems!" Then the S-Support starts with "we defeated the evil other so now everything is fine!" I dare you to replace Nabateans with other nouns that classify groups and see how that sounds.

Edelgard really be out here thinking that humans will do a better job than dragons. She's in for disappointment.

I also don't understand how she thinks killing Rhea and all the other dragons is going to fix all the problems when it seems like average human corruption and TWSITD did everything and they are both still around.

Ok, here comes the romantic stuff.

So so far my fear that the women get all lovey dovey and the men are all more mature about it is coming true :(:( But I've only seen Claude for the guys so far. So it's a bit early to worry.

So Byleth gives her the ring and called her "El." That's pretty cute.

What is with this "dearest friend" stuff??

"So long as I had you by my side, it never mattered how many enemies I amassed. You were all I needed." - This is a bit yikes though. Edelgard, girl, that's toxic. Get some other friends.

I still am flabergasted that you don't kill TWSITD. Like any of them except Cornelia.

"I will then find a suitable successor and hand over the reigns of the Empire." - That's a bit yikes for me here too. That sounds kinda like a dictator.

Though, this support is doing a good job balancing the romance stuff with the world changes stuff whereas Rhea was all romance, and Claude all world stuff - more or less.

OMG poor Edelgard. What the hell is that picture? Lamo. I can't. Why doesn't she have a nose?? 😂😂😂

Alright, time to see all the MVPs. Lots of Edelgard at first 7ish chapters, and then it's the Felix show for he rest of part 1. And most of part 2. No other unit was as dominant at bing MVP as Felix was here. Guess I played favorites a bit lamo.

Ok, only commenting on new paired endings. So here's what was the same: Anna solo, Hanneman solo, Manuela solo, Leonie and Shamir,

Ok, Alois solo he's a farmer instead of a captain of the guards. Both are good I guess.

Lysithea's solo is so sad. She really got the short end of the stick endings wise so far.

Lorenz solo, so he's a politician that helps the people. Pretty generic but not terrible.

YES! Linhardt and Caspar - I got this one before, but I'm happy to get is again. So they traveled together. I really love this ending. It fits both characters so well despite how different they are

Bernie and Jeritza - Mostly about Jeritza fighting TWSITD off screen (still not over that) and ending up palling around with Bernie. Wish it included Bernie more.

Ohhh, Felix went solo! I thought it went through all the solo ones before going to the paired ones. And he just went and became a mercenary again? It's a bit better than his Sylvain one, but not really. He really became the "boar" himself, didn't he? I'm SUPER curious to see his AM endings, since I know people said they're kind of different (I would hope so, it would suck if he got stuck in a regressive character arc).

OMG Hubert paired up with Ferdinand lol. It's not as romantic as I expected, but Edelgard being jealous of them is priceless lol.

Dorothea and Petra - let's go! I know I got this one before, but I seriously LOVE it. You can't straighten that last sentence. They are both queens. After seeing that ending, how can you not ship it?

Edelgard and Byleth - really ambiguous about the romance part, surprised after how hard they really shoved that at you in the route. It was nice seeing it focus on the changes, though, that wasn't really reflected in the paired endings at all. They were all more or less the same as VW and SS.

Alright, guys, CF done! All that's left is finishing AM.

[gam3bo1-movedagain]

— DOMESTIC SHIP MEME ! (under the cut 😋)

@likescrazy

who reaches out to new neighbors? oh my fucking god why do i feel like neither of them would. MNSBDMDNBCMSDN theyre both busy people! there are better/more productive shit to do than to greet new neighbours! they'd just end up running into e/o in th fucking lift or something and exchange pleasantries there idk

who remembers to buy healthy food? serena <3 bcos tate is a child

who remembers to buy junk food? tate :sob: he'd forget everything else BUT junk food... like the first and last time tate went grocery shopping he came back with 43793749583749 bags of snacks and NONE of what serena asked him to get

who fixes the oven when it breaks? god both. theyd do it together. and theyd ACTUALLY fix it!

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)? they take turns methinks x

who wakes up earlier? maybe tate but like. by a minute or two... i know they'd wake up at the same time tbh

who makes the bed? its a game 4 them. whoever gets up later has to make the bed... MSDNBCSMDNCB

who makes the coffee? HMMMM i think it depends?? whoever gets to the kitchen first makes the coffee :yum:

who burns breakfast? nobody but tate probably fell asleep standing up while making pancakes and he ended up charring most of it <3 MSBCMNDC

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house? okay i think...... i think they'd leave together. like theyd both head out at the same time idk??? when they have to part though tate would kiss her <3

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home? instantly complaining ab their day. and then a smooch <3 and a "what's for dinner" (ik tate would wait outside her office building though... he enjoys walking home w her :D)

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often? definitely tate...hed bring home food!! lots of takeout. hc: they have takeout thursdays! MSNDBCMDSNBCSN

who picks the movie for movie night? mayb they take turns? but i feel like tate would let serena pick most of the time???

their favorite kind of movie to watch? crime documentaries maybe... or action...

who first suggests a pillow fort? tate <3

who builds the pillow fort? s-serena... MSDNBCSMDNCBSDM tate wouldve tried building it but it jst looks weird and unstable </3 so serena wldve torn down th entire fort and fixed it herself

who tries to distract the other during the movie? surprisingly i feel like theyd both be too into the movie they dont even think about making out or messing around SDNCBSMDNCBSDMN

who falls asleep first? THIS ALSO DEPENDS???? I KNOW TATE WOULD PASS OUT WITHIN A MINUTE THE MOMENT HE GETS COSY IN BED...

who is big spoon/little spoon? tate is Definitely the big spoon!!!!!! <3 he likes having serena in his arms shes sm smaller than him 🥺