#Day 336 of hiding from my friends

[anotherferalrat]

Funny funnyyyy i see what u did thereee

NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLSSS KISS IM SOBBING

[adaywithanotherferalrat]

So I introduced my baby brother to genshin right? And ofc he's a simple simple child who does not understand the complexities and true power of darling paimon so he'll sometimes mimic her and ofc I'll mimic him to which we discovered I do a decent paimon impression...

Which has now started the tradition of- whenevr we're bored/annoying each other- in our best paimon voices we roast each other by saying "Paimon thinks..." or smth similar

Here are the highlights (and some that I couldn't say bc he's too young. But i thought them):

*don't remember how it started but eventually goes into...* "Ooh Paimon's gonna give u a mean nickname! Paimon's gonna call you... A BITCH"

Similarly: "Paimon thinks ur a bitch"

"Paimon's gonna sell you to the nearest Fatui agent!"

"Paimon doesn't think that's a good idea..." *CRASH*

"Paimon's gonna yeet u off starsnatch cliff"

"Paimon thinks u should doubt urself more" "Oh Paimon's alrdy full of crippling self doubt"

[moon-ruled-rising]

20 Questions Writer Meme

Thanks for the tag @arielchelby

1: How many works do you have on Ao3?

Fifteen. Mostly Game of Thrones, but there's a Marvel one that's been on hiatus for years.

2: What's your total Ao3 word count?

319, 336.

3: What fandoms do you write for?

Predominately Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire but I have one Marvel one and I had two Stars Wars WIPs that got recycled. I also have an "original work" inspired by the TTRPG my friends and I were playing before our friend group fell apart, so that one might not get finished.

4: What are your top five fics by kudos?

— as the rain hides the stars

— begged and borrowed time

—Journey to the Past (surprisingly)

—Baby, Please Come Home

—your eyes shine brighter in the north

5: Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I don't normally comment on fics I read to begin with. (I know, I know, shame shame shame.) Sometimes I get a burst of energy to do it but sometimes I just don't know how to reply but I'm working on it because I love discussing my fics and interacting with readers.

6: What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

... no comment because spoilers.

7: What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

The Glass Dagger and the Winter Rose with A Christmas Coincidence in a close second.

8: Do you get hate on fics?

When I first started writing more angst heavy stuff it wasn't received well. I was younger and not used to so much negative attention. Suffice to say, I lost the idgaf war. Now, not so much. I will get a rogue commenter every now and again with strong opinions about something I wrote— especially if I was trying something... experimental, I guess.

9: Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut. I've done explicit stuff but, as I've voiced recently, I'm not super into writing it. I live in the land of flowery prose and abstracts. Explicit smut is so focused on physical that I haven't found a way to blend the two so it slows me down and, as an Aries, I hate being slowed down. I will, however, write explicit material if it's porn with plot. My non-explicit stuff leans more... metaphysical, if that makes sense?? I guess you'll just have to read sad beautiful tragic and let me know.

10: Do you write crossovers?

Fusion, yes. Remixes, yes. There is a Game of Thrones/Marvel crack fic sitting in my random WIPs folder that might see the light of day but other than that, not really.

11: Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I don't think I'm popular enough for that ... wait... I think that makes me a bigger target...

12: Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I am open to it.

13: Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've tried co-writing before but I always turn into that meme of Tyler the Creator: "Oh my God, can you let me do what I need to do." I'm not too great at collabs.

14: What's your all-time favorite ship?

Jonerys, hands down. But I'm also partial to Obidala. Controversial, I know, but it intrigues me.

15: What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

*Sighs* My Marvel one. The idea has been in my head since 2015 and I would love to finish it but I fell out of love with Marvel after Endgame so it takes a lot to get myself to work on it. Although, with the resurgence of 2012 Avenger's Tower fics... who knows.

16: What are you writing strengths?

Honestly, I have no freaking clue. I think I'm good at extended metaphors and plot. Maybe prose but it sometimes gets away from me. I used to be really strong at dialogue but now it's hit or miss.

17: What are you writing weaknesses?

Characterization and emotions. I'm autistic, you do the math.

18: Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's plot relevant: yes. That won't stop me from doing Valyrian translations for fun.

19: First fandom you wrote for?

... ... ... rise of the brave tangled guardians... or was it Supernatural.... *buries face in hands and turns beet red despite the fact that none of those fics saw the light of day* But first fandom I wrote for and posted was... oh, I think it was Game of Thrones... or was it Supernatural...

20: Favorite fic you've written?

How could you ask me that? That's like asking a parent to chose their favori— begged and borrowed time, it's begged and borrowed time. It's my first time "bowling" (i set up the plot points and watch my characters knock them down and do their own thing) and I just have so much fun writing it and playing in the little canon divergent world I created.

As per usual, I leave this open to anyone who wants to join! Just a reminder that all fics linked in this post are only visible to registered users to prevent AI scraping, thank you in advance for your understanding!

[cap-ironman]

2019 Cap-Iron Man Holiday Exchange and Community Gifts Creators Reveals & Masterpost

This year we had 68 wonderful works submitted for our event! Thank you all very much for participating in all kinds of ways: writing, arting, submitting the prompts for the Community Gifts, cheerleading the creators, and beta-reading! We hope you had lots of fun. And here, finally, is the full event masterlist revealing the creators of each work! Please remember to mind the tags and warnings at each individual work page, and leave kudos and comments on the works you've enjoyed! ★ And she saw the case, but she saw him first by Lets_call_me_Lily for ishipallthings (3490/Noir, Art)

Natasha Stark, head of Stark Investigations. Taking on hopeless cases, and sometimes giving hope in return.

★ Antoine Stargaze by HogwartsToAlexandria for frosted_astronaut (MCU AU, 2049 Words)

Where boys are smitten, and Natasha nudges Steve just enough.

★ Beautiful Lie by jayjayverse for SweetFanfics (Ults, 8560 Words)

Antonia Stark breaks with all the conceptions Steve has about women. She is everything he never thought he wanted or desire in a person, in fact he didn't even consider her waking up in this century, she was simply a teammate.

★ beautiful stranger by ohjustpeachy for ShadowsintheClouds (MCU, 2198 words)

Both Tony and Steve grow up thinking the other is dead. When they first meet in Avengers 1 there are tears and everyone is really confused until they realize that the two are soulmates.

★ Blank Spaces by only_more_love for starksnack (MCU,  3023 Words)

Steve discovers that not everything in this unfamiliar century he's woken up in is bad. Maybe there's a place for him in it, after all.

★ Brewed Awakening by iam93percentstardust for  Nixie_DeAngel (MCU, 16545 Words)

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

★ By Any Name by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU AU, 1017 Words)

The world of spies is not kind on love.

★ Compatibility, Interrupted by MK_Yujji for Areiton (MCU, 2177 Words)

Steve gave up on soulmates after his transformation. He certainly didn't expect to find his in the future.

★ Even After All Those Years? by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (Noir, 743 Words)

Their eyes meet across the crowd. They never thought they would ever see each other again.

★ Everything Goes to Hell Anyway by dirigibleplumbing for navaan (1872, 15796 Words)

A visitor to Timely is killed, and Tony is the main suspect. Steve has no doubt of Tony’s innocence, but more strangers still are in town looking for a mysterious book, and Mayor Fisk’s boys are up to no good. It isn't long before everything goes to hell.

★ A Farm for the Horny and the Desperate by HogwartsToAlexandria for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 1738 Words)

The one where Tony walks in on Steve masturbating at Clint's farm.

★ from your secret santa by avengersincamphalfbloodstardis for SevereLove51 (MCU, 4775 Words)

The year is 2012 and all of the Avengers have moved into the tower. The holidays are coming up and it's the perfect time for each teammate to get to know another as well as they can. So of course, they do secret santa. When Tony gets Steve, he panics. How is he supposed to find a gift for the amazing Captain America?

★ For Science by HogwartsToAlexandria for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 1334 Words)

For the comm prompt- After a not-so-great night out with a girl, Steve confides to Tony that he thinks he’s not a very good kisser. Tony, of course, offers to practice with him.

★ Giddy-up Cowgirl by CaughtAGhost for Cap Iron Man Community (1872, Art)

A community fill for: "genderbent AU in a more idyllic West, though Steve still struggles with the responsibilities of sheriff and Tony is even more underestimated as the town's drunk blacksmith"

★ the heart of this flower imagines by diskarte for MK_Yujji (MCU AU, 4269 Words)

Steve isn’t really paying attention to anything when something red catches his eye: a petal. He looks down at his lap and picks it up. He’s contemplating the petal, glancing around to see where it could’ve come from, when an unfamiliar feeling wells up inside him and he coughs. He hasn’t coughed in years, not after the serum. He looks down. On his lap: more petals.

★ here comes the sun by Nasa for hundredthousands (MCU, 6884 words)

Steve and Tony meet at Woodstock. It's not the smoothest of starts for their friendship.

★ Hidden Words by ShadowsintheClouds for Padraigen (MCU, 17854 words)

In a world where someone's soul name is held in great regard, Steve is forced to grow up hiding his, lest he and his soulmate get hurt for it. He tries his best to keep things hidden, but when he goes into the ice and braces for death he inadvertently reveals his soul name to those who find him years later. Will Steve have to continue hiding or will he finally get a chance at safety and happiness

★ hologram blue by laireshi for navaan (616, 2069 Words)

During the Superhero Civil War, Tony gets haunted by hallucinations of Steve.

★ A Hook-Up by navaan for Sadisticsparkle (Noir, 1250 Words)

Private Rogers is looking for a bit of male company and gets more than he bargained for.

★ The Hot Guy Has A Tail? by betheflame for BeenAsleepFor70Years (MCU AU, 1506 Words)

Tony was used to hallucinating. Well, maybe not used to it, but certainly not unfamiliar with it. But he hadn’t taken any shrooms in days, and he’d actually slept more than 2 hours the night before, so the logical conclusion to what he was seeing was that it was actually happening. The hot guy he’d been ogling from his Intro to Western Civ class for months was in the pool. And he had a tail. The hot guy from Western Civ had a tail.

★ I Saw Cap Kissing Santa Claus by Mizzy for Cathalinaheart (616, 7222 Words)

When Tony dressed as Santa for Queen County Hospital's annual toy drive, he wasn't expecting Steve to recognize him...as Iron Man.

★ I still like your smile (even if it's filled with teeth) by Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle) for diabla616 (616, 6186 Words)

It has been a lifetime since Tony last saw the Mansion and the Avengers, but his relationship with Steve is as confusing as ever. They're still sleeping together, they're still officially friends and now he's lost in a magical forest with a wolf tracking his every move. He hates magic.

★ In the Comfort of Your Arms by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Gryvon (MCU, Art)

Steve and Tony take a few days to themselves after a hard battle.

★ Inevitable Outcome by cptxrogers for Cap Iron Man Community (Ults, 2499 Words)

Tony can't believe that his team has locked him in a closet with Steve, ostensibly to relieve the sexual tension between them. He's surprised they would stoop that low, but he's even more surprised that Steve seems to be up for it.

★ Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures by Fluffypanda for marumo (Avengers Assemble, 3544 Words)

A trip to the Savage Land goes very, very wrong.

★ last call by gottalovev for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 5640 Words)

Tony didn’t prepare for Steve calling first. It's been thirteen months, why now?

★ lead up the garden path by gottalovev for nasa (1872, 5261 Words)

They cannot live openly, but Sheriff Steve Rogers has found love with Tony Stark, Timely's blacksmith and inventor. He thought everything was going well, until their friend Carol Danvers comes back from Washington with her sister Jessica and everything changes.

★ Locker-Room Revelations by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 336 Words)

Tony finds out a secret of Steve's in the locker-room.

★ March 10th, 1964 by SmileAndASong for Cap Iron Man Community (616, 1704 Words)

There’s a cake in the fridge. It’s beautiful, at least three layers high, and with an intricate red, white, and blue frosting pattern that perfectly emulates a certain shield. It’s very obvious that it’s for Steve. But why?

★ Media Blitz by Nixie_DeAngel for Fluffypanda (MCU, 1378 words)

“Well, if I hadn’t, Pep pot, we wouldn’t we be reliving the weirdest two weeks of my life. Again,” Tony points out. “And really, that’s saying something considering last year you, Nat, and I got sent to that pleasure planet with bird boys one and two.” “We agreed that would never be spoken of again,” she cuts in, eyes sharpening into a fierce glare. Or, reason number 3 on why Pepper Potts shoulder never be allowed to have a vacation that allows for a media black out while she lounges on a beach by herself.

★ Mistletoe Smoochin’ by BeenAsleepFor70Years for zappedbysnow (AA, Art)

Some mistletoe business between the best boys for zappedbysnow! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

★ A New Day [Art] by Cachette for afincf_tirwer (MCU, Art)

Steve has always seen in greys and blacks. Even before the ice the colours never developed fully, there were hints of colours, mostly blue or red, Bucky's eyes, Peggy's lips but he never saw anything like what was described in the books. The first colour he sees in the 21st century is the bright red and gold of Iron Man, sleek, futuristic and a total mystery.

★ Of matchmaking and failure by afincf_tirwer for iam93percentstardust (MCU AU, 4085 Words)

When the new art teacher arrives, Peter Parker and his friends think he'd make a great match for the school's physics teacher Tony Stark. However, as their plans progress, some things are revealed that throw a wrench in the works and set them up for embarrassment.

★ oh baby I can't even explain by muchmoremajestic for Neverever (AA, 10583 Words)

Prompt: Steve and Tony dance around each other, wanting to ask each other out on a first date, but things keep getting in the way from the random invasions on campus to each of them being nervous/getting in their own way. Or: The five times Steve and Tony tried to ask each other out, and the one time they finally got it together.

★ one may smile and be a villain by CaughtAGhost for jayjayverse (616, Art)

Fill for the prompt: Captain Hydra happens, Tony doesn't go on coma and fight against him. The avengers won, Steve is in prison and Tony decide to erase Hydra before what they did to Steve (and he didnt being capable to find a way to make Steve come back), so he go to every compound of Hydra and destroy them. Until he find something. The archives with all the fail subjects are in one computer, it’s just a little suspicious line of “code names” and information of what happened every single clone, all dead at some stage of growth and then bumps into the last file, still active, shows the background and there is no estimate of life as in the other files, Tony looks for the place where this clone is, flies and destroy everything, take the little baby he found and fly away from there. When Steve (the real one) comes back, a lot of time had passed, the avengers are led by Carol, Tony is an AI and Steve needs to get used to everything one more time.

★ pants on fire by nanasekei  for talesofsuspense (MCU, 9630 Words)

“Look, I’m not thrilled by the prospect of spending my day here either," Nick said, "but there’s no postponing this. We can’t give them a chance to combine stories.” “Right,” Hill said. “And I’m sure they’ll all be very…cooperative.” “Hope you didn’t have any dinner plans." Hill’s sigh mirrored his own so much it was unnerving. “Okay.” She leaned forward and pressed a button on his desk. “Send in the first one.”

★ Patron of the Arts by BladeoftheNebula for diskarte (MCU, 2258 Words)

Steve meets a handsome stranger at an art show.

★ the perfect date by IronSwordStarShield (SweetFanfics) for Cap Iron Man Community (616, 5638 Words)

Tony needs an alpha to be his date for a fancy shing-ding. He asks Steve, who says yes. And then Tony's heat strikes early.

★ Phish Food and Cheez Whiz by starksnack for HogwartsToAlexandria (MCU AU, 2584 Words)

Tony's afraid he'll be a bad father, Steve disagrees. + they have sex.

★ Possession by marumo for meshkol (616, Art)

Prompt "Hydra/Villain Steve decides he wants Iron Man, by any means necessary."

★ Presents by Neverever for BladeoftheNebula (1872, 2648 Words)

For their first Christmas together, Sheriff Rogers doesn't know what to get his partner, Mr. Stark.

★ Public Displays of Affection by navaan for Westernwood11 (616, 2265 Words)

It's not a good day when AIM and Hydra come for them at the same time... Things get away from them in the heat of the moment.

★ ride [FANART] by cap_ironman_event_mod for Blaithin (616, Art)

stevetony motorbike gang au

★ Save Your Kisses For Me by ishipallthings for avengersincamphalfbloodstardis (MCU, 3197 Words)

It’s nearly Christmas, and Steve Rogers’ biggest problem is that he’s terrible at keeping his new relationship with Tony under wraps. Oh, and he still needs to find the perfect Christmas present for Tony. That is, until Tony gets hurt on a mission without Steve. Then Steve has a new problem.

★ Say It First by talesofsuspense for SmileAndASong (Ults, 1788 Words)

Steve doesn’t know how to say what he wants, but Tony knows what he means anyway.

★ Shakey-Shake Globe Land by starksnack for Cap Iron Man Community (AU, ART)

Have some art! Happy holidays!!!

★ A Shove in the Right Direction by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 877 Words)

Everyone was sick of it, but he was the only one ready to do something about it.

★ Snow Bunnies by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (616, 1500 Words)

Steve finds a way to get some fun out of a winter chore.

★ Snow Wolf by talesofsuspense for Cap Iron Man Community (Any, Art)

Capwolf having fun in the snow.

★ The Soldier and the Man of Iron by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU AU, 202 Words)

Steve is a wounded soldier looking for his lost brother. He stumbles across Stark Tower looking for shelter.

★ Steve's Secret by Neverever for Cachette (MCU, 2911Words)

Steve has been sketching Tony since they met. But Steve will never have a chance with Tony, who is so far out of his league. Even though Tony seems to really like his new sweaters.

★ Strings Attach, We Conquer by HogwartsToAlexandria for betheflame (MCU AU, 7235 Words)

Steve and Tony have been together and mated for about a year when the questions of their pack become a little more - too - insistent and it's time to lift the veil on a secret that has led all of them to wrongly presume of their bond. Decisions and celebrations happen.

★ Take me away, I don't mind by diabla616 for gezhu (Ults, 2359 words)

Steve hates the 21st Century - it's lonely and he's still not over what he's lost from his own time. So when the Ultimates missions keep throwing the possibility of time-travel into his day, well, he has to try. Or: all the times Steve tried to use a villain's time-travel device to go back to the past, and the one time he chose to stay in the future.

★ Through the Drinking Glass by Cathalinaheart for gottalovev (1872, 1820 words)

It's the anniversary of Bucky's death and a drunk Sheriff shows up at Tony's door in the middle of the night.

★ A Timely Rescue by vorkosigan for Cap Iron Man Community (1872, 8341  words)

Tony saves Steve's life, but if neither of them says anything about how they feel about each other, Steve will stay in Timely and Tony will fly away to gallivant among the stars, and they may never see each other again. A Firefly AU.

★ Tony, Do You Want My Eggplant? (art) by zappedbysnow for DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) (MCU, Art)

Cap was advised to try gardening for therapy. Now everyone reaps the fruits of his harvest. Especially Tony.

★ the truth, ugly and beautiful by Areiton for alexcat (MCU, 3048 Words)

The truth, ugly and beautiful, is that you loved him.    You love him still.    The truth, ugly and beautiful, is that love was never enough.

★ An Unspeakable Choice by meshkol (ashernorton) for CaughtAGhost (616, 9674 Words)

When Tony and Steve are kidnapped after a mission goes wrong, they are given an unimaginable choice: the death of innocents, or the death of one of them.

★ Untitled by hundredthousands for only_more_love (MCU, 1329 Words)

Tony would say he’s used to seeing himself, but something about this is different.

★ Waiting for You by alexcat for GotTheSilver (MCU, 2559  words)St

eve missed Tony and Tony missed Steve. What if Steve called first?

★ We Did It by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, Art)

When the dust settled and all the fighting was done, they met each other in the middle of all the destruction, coming together after all those years.

★ We'll Cross Paths Again by SevereLove51 for ohjustpeachy (MCU AU, 1930 Words)

Tony Stark is a successful business after he inherited his father’s business. He is invited to a masquerade party hosted by Justin Hammer. As he’s there, he noticed that the bartender looks oddly similar to his high school sweetheart that broke his heart.

★ What Are Friends For by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU AU, 714 Words)

Professor Stark has a crush on the University's new Professor.

★ What the Textbooks Never Told by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (616, 433 Words)

History has a habit of omitting the darker parts of what makes the worlds heroes

★ Where Your Heart Is by gryvon for nanasekei MCU AU, 2582 Words)

Steve has an instant crush on the new kid.

★ The Wings of our Hearts by DarthBloodOrange (DepressingGreenie) for Cap Iron Man Community (MCU, 1278 Words)

Steve and Tony are cursed with wings. Neither of them handle it well.

★ Winin' and Dinin' the Sheriff (Without the Wine) by SmileAndASong for dirigibleplumbing (1872, 4362 Words)

In one night, Tony is finally going to do something that he’s wanted to for a long time. And he'll be something he hasn’t been in an even longer time. It’s a mighty tall order, but if it wins him the heart of the dashing Sheriff Rogers, it’ll be worth it.

★ Your Mind and Your Heart by GotTheSilver for muchmoremajestic (MCU, 7930 Words)

When Tony asks him what he wants for his birthday at the Fourth party he’s throwing, Steve shrugs and says “to get laid,” without even thinking about it. “You—excuse me?” “Shit, I didn’t mean—” Steve can feel his cheeks flush with heat as he realises what he’s said. “Ignore that, really, I’ve had some of Thor’s mead and I—” “That’s a cute excuse, but I know you’ve been drinking Mojitos and, unless Erskine’s science was very very wrong, those don’t affect you. So,” Tony hops up on the counter, the muscles in his arms flexing as he does. “No dice.” “Is there any way I can get you to drop this?”

Were your guesses right? Are you surprised at something? You can post your reactions to the guessing post! And finally, if you participated in the event, feel free to post your work wherever you want now! We will be reblogging every tumblr post tagged with #capimexchange in one of the first five tags. Thank you for a great event, 2019 Holiday Exchange and Community Gifts mods

[wildbeautifuldreamer]

Witchlands Theories

Okay major major spoilers for anyone who isn’t caught up.

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I don’t know if it clicked with anyone else or if I was the only one waaaay behind on this,

“On the right stood Lady Baile, patron saint of change, seasons, and crossroads. Noden’s right hand they called her, and the lamp’s fire shimmered across golden wheat in her left hand, a silver trout in right. Her skin was painted like a night sky, black with pinpricks of white, while the fox-shaped mask across her face shone blue.” - Windwitch p. 38

“Bastien said as we went around the table with our various updates. For once, he had removed the mask he always wore... the Six took their leave. All except Lady Baile....She glanced toward the door, where I noticed a masked figure waited in the tunnel outside. ‘Sometimes we fall in love with those who have been beside us all along.’ Ah. So my suspicions regarding those two Paladins were true.” - Sightwitch pp. 128 - 130

“The patron saint of justice, of vengeance, of rage. The Fury.... Bald, scarred, and hulking, the saint of all things broken bore only the name of his true nature. His one calling. He brought justice to the wronged and punishment to the wicked, while Lady Baile was as beautiful as life itself, the Fury was more grotesque than even the Hagfishes...” - Windwitch pp. 38 & 39

Okay great, so now if everyone realized it, cool. But can I just fangirl the heck out right now? Lady Baile the Saint and Lady Baile the Paladin are the same person. 

She who is Noden’s right hand, and her lover, Bastien is the left. To prove that I give you this:

“Back when I had a different name. Back before I became the saint you call the Fury.”... Kullen smiled. A heartbreaking familiar smile. “Hello, old friend,” he said. “Have you missed me?” - Windwitch pp. 296 &297

Kullen laughed. “Yet only in death, could they understand life. And only in life, will they change the world.” He tapped his head, that unnatural grin spreading all the wider. A smile that didn’t reach his dead, dead eyes. “The Fury’s memories were always here, Merik. I just had to die to unlock them.”...”I made this city, and so I will destroy it too.”....”Your sister might think she has won, but I will simply break the dam on my own. This city will be returned to its rightful ruler one way or another.” - Windwitch pp.336 & 337

I am SCREECHING. Okay. Now that I’ve got that out of the way. What in the blooming piss-pies. So Kullen was Bastien as a Paladin in his past life. At least that’s what I’m getting. 

I’ve been going rounds and rounds in my head. Was it the Rook King that betrayed them? That was what I was betting on. It seemed like it when Lisbet was trying to convince them to go into the cave:

The Rook King--the one to whom I had given the Paladin-blade for safekeeping--was nowhere in sight....”We can hide in the tomb, but once this battle is over, we will leave.” “But it won’t end. He’s betrayed them all, don’t you see?... Tell her, Da...” ...”I cannot abandon my king.” “Yet you can abandon me? And the girls?” His eyes averted. “No. I...” Then he wilted into me, his forehead resting against mine. “We cannot walk away from this, Dysi. Someone betrayed us.” - Sightwitch pp. 217 -219

So that’s what I thought made it clear that the Rook King betrayed everyone--Side note, did he turn into The Rook? It would make sense why he wanted so badly to save Kullen than. Anyway, that’s my side theory that the Paladins are tied to the origin wells and the animals. However this is going to be another post-- or was it another Paladin? Then the whole thing with Bastien/Kullen. This doesn’t make things any easier. What role does Bastien play in this? At least we know why he’s depicted as, erm, haunting as he is. 

“The Six were losing... while fire engulfed Bastien. Baile was pined by swords to the wall...” - Sightwitch p. 218

Did he somehow survive the ravaging long enough that he then went out to unleash his fury on the world? On the other Paladins? 

“Six turned on six and made themselves kings, One turned on five, and stole everything.” - Sightwitch p. 165

“The Paladins we locked away will one day walk among us. Vengeance will be theirs, in a fury unchecked, for their power was never ours to claim. Yet only in death, could they understand life. And only in life, will they change the world.” - Sightwitch p. 211 

Well Kullen/Bastien certainly has a fury unchecked as he runs around talking about the city that he built and how it’s his to control. Which then makes me question which six turned on six? Who were the Exalted ones? I was so sure that it was Bastien who Kullen is, but it almost makes me wonder that if the two Wind Paladins are tied together somehow. Or I’m overthinking things like normal.  I know we haven’t gotten to hear more about the other Paladins, Rhian, Midne, Saria. I’m mostly intrigued by Baile, Bastien, and the Rook King (also why in the blazes doesn’t he get his own name? Especially when his name is King...) yet again which six turned on six? Which one stole everything? I know in one of the drawings Ryber is wondering if Kullen was the Paladin to turn on everyone (Sightwtich, p. 227).

However, I’m wondering if we were looking at this wrong. What if the Rook King had always been playing two sides to confuse the Exalted Ones, and he was supposed to betray the Six who were making the underground cities, and he did, but he also betrayed those who were supposed to kill the Paladins forever by taking the sword away, hence “stole everything?” So instead they trapped those Paladins in the mountain of Simraya 

Going back to the Paladins of the same element might be tied, why to the Nubrevnans is Lady Baile whom everyone loves and adores the same woman who Baile’s Slaughter is sacrificed to?

“Three rules has she,” Kahinga sang, shuffling her cards, “Our Lady of the Seas. No whistlings when a storm’s in sight. Six-fingered cats will ward off mice. And always, always stay the night for Baile’s Slaughter Ring.” - Windwitch, p. 220

ALSO are the other rules important? I feel like they might be. Just like how each Sightwitch Sister rule was important in a way that we weren’t expecting. 

Anyways it’s late here. I’ve spent far too  much time on this post. Remind me that I need to do another on Magic/the Paladins/Cleaving next. 

I’d love to hear thoughts, view points, etc. 

@whydoyoucareaboutmyusername @youlovemeade @write-the-stars 

And as always this world and all the quotes belong to @stdennard who makes my creative brain think, go into overdrive, and shut down. 

[richincolor]

Book Review: Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2)

Title: Crown of Thunder (Beast Made of Night #2)

Author: Tochi Onyebuchi

Genres:  Fantasy

Pages: 336

Publisher: Razorbill

Review Copy: ARC from publisher

Availability: Available now

Summary: In the sequel to the acclaimed Beasts Made of Night, Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary—including using the most deadly magic—to track him down.

Taj is headed west, but the consequences of leaving Kos behind confront him at every turn. Innocent civilians flee to refugee camps as Karima’s dark magic continues to descend on the city. Taj must return, but first he needs a plan.

With Arzu’s help, Taj and Aliya make it to the village of her ancestors, home of the tastahlik—sin-eaters with Taj’s same ability to both battle and call forth sins. As Taj comes to terms with his new magic, he realizes there are two very different groups of tastahlik—one using their powers for good, the other for more selfish ends.

Aliya is struggling with her own unique capabilities. She’s immersed in her work to uncover the secret to Karima’s magic, but her health begins to mysteriously deteriorate. With the help of a local western mage, Aliya uncovers her true destiny—a future she’s not sure she wants.

As Taj and Aliya explore their feelings for each other and Arzu connects with her homeland, the local westerners begin to question Taj’s true identity. Karima is on his heels, sending dark warnings to the little village where he’s hiding. Taj will have to go back and face her before she sends her mostly deadly weapon—Taj’s former best friend, Bo.

Review: I really enjoyed Beast Made of Night and was upset that it ended on a cliffhanger, therefore I anxiously anticipated the sequel. Crown of Thunder takes place a few days after the end of Beasts Made of Night finding Taj, Aliya, and other sin-eaters on the run from former princess, now Queen Karima. It somewhat feels like a “grand adventure” for Taj and the reader as we experience the larger world outside of Kos. However, Taj often reflects that while he is somewhat enjoying learning about other peoples, seeing the larger world, it is coming at a horrible cost and he feels tremendous guilt about all the people he’s left behind to suffer under the Queen.

In this book, Taj is a lot more thoughtful and reflective of his life before, what led up to fall of Kos, and what he must do to try to save his city. Often in Heroes Journey stories the hero is so caught up in trying to survive that they often don’t have much time to reflect on their situation. Onyebuchi destroys that trope by basically having Taj repeatedly go off on his own, sometimes to his own endangerment, to ponder about what he needed to do and to get himself prepared for a fight that he really didn’t want to participate in. Taj is a beautifully flawed hero in that he’s put in a situation where based on his growing power he really is “the chosen one” but he doesn’t want the responsibility. In fact, he tries to avoid it, desiring to stay in Arzu’s home village, but when the village that is full of Kos refugees is attacked, Taj realizes that he must fight. 

 This emotional journey, in addition to the physical journey, is what makes Crown of Thunder so interesting. There are many more quiet moments in this book, where as the first one was a lot more action packed, but the moments of action are a lot bigger and more brutal. Taj is basically loosing the entire story, which is very different for a heroes journey story. One also feels the despair from the residents of Kos who are on the run and how it feels to lose people you care about, not by death, but just the unknowing. 

While Beasts Made of Night was fun, Crown of Thunder had more depth, was darker, and often left me feeling quiet sad for everyone involved. At times I didn’t enjoy the novel but that is because Onyebuchi really brought alive what it feels like to flee war. It’s not an adventure, it is sorrowful and dispiriting. When I realized what was going on with my emotions, I realized what a master storyteller Onyebuchi was and ended up appreciating the journey he took me on.

[littlelieshq]

hey my loyal readers, ALISE here, your one and only source of gosan’s finest. aren’t you curious about what i have in store for you today? don’t lie, of course you are! well, today’s highlight happens to be the one and only WON AERI. the won aeri? yes, that’s right, her. you know her, don’t you? TWENTY-SIX, PRIVATE BANKER AT HANA BANK? no? well—i don’t blame you if you don’t, if you’ve seen one gosaner, you’ve seen them all. but this one, she’s a little special—not everyone had plastic surgery done and “debuted” in college with a whole new face, after all.

                                          interested? well why wouldn’t you be?

                                                lucky for you i always deliver.

( TW EATING DISORDER, BODY DYSMORPHIA, SELF-HARM, SUICIDE IDEATION )

step one.

won aeri is born to loving parents – a kind mother who takes pride in makeup and clothing, a father who dotes on his two daughters. there’s nothing extraordinary about her childhood; aeri grows up with love and support, spends her time playing with her sister, looking at her as though she held the stars in her eyes.  

(it all goes downhill from there.)

step two.

she’s fourteen when she realises her sister is an unattainable dream, some sort of perfection moulded by expert hands. “you’ll look like her one day,” her mother tells her gently, as they watch some silly variety show, her head on her mother’s lap. aeri wants to scream because she just knows her mother is lying through her teeth, just sprinkling sugary niceties around the inevitable truth. there are so many things she doesn’t tell her mother because her mother doesn’t need to worry more than she already does. she thinks about her friend’s father who once laughed at her and said, jokingly, “guess good genes can only go to one person!”  her teachers who look at her with placid smiles hiding their disappointment, as they tell her, “oh, i knew your sister! very pretty.” (they omit the ‘not like you’ but aeri feels the icy burn anyways.)

aeri just smiles. because she’s a nice girl. because she’s soft-spoken and sweet and docile. sometimes, she wonders if she was born into the wrong family. a seed of resentment is planted in her – she knows she’s lucky, she has a wonderful family and she hates that she sticks out like an odd, ugly thumb. she throws herself into studying because that’s the only thing she’s good at. and when she gets into a prestigious high school, her parents celebrate. they bring her to a theme park.

(aeri thinks that’s the last time she’s ever felt truly happy.)

because the next day, a photo of her circulates. it’s an unflattering angle so aeri just looks terrible from every single angle. she’s making some silly face, her clothes are too tight so there’s an inch of fat spilling, and that’s enough to send the trolls off. she gets posted in some stupid forum, some stupid title like ‘what a fucking eyesore can’t believe her sister is so pretty lmfao’ and the post takes off. it goes viral. she gets made into some stupid meme, and the comments are brutal – the thoughts that have always plagued aeri materialise in the form of their opinions. aeri’s never really loved herself but this? this kills her.

her parents laugh the post off – “they just think you’re cute, aeri!” aeri smiles. because that’s her default reaction. (but deep down, she knows better. the photo is a cruel joke, a reminder that she’s ugly and fat and undesirable and worthless and a waste of space. her sister stops speaking to her in public because it’s embarrassing to even be associated with the fat, ugly girl from lotte world. her classmates snicker in her face, some even paste her photo on her desk. but aeri just smiles. pretends like she can’t hear a thing. puts her head down in her books and studies. talks to her friends, as if she doesn’t notice that they give her one-word replies.)

she’s fourteen when she first drives the blade down her upper thighs. the sting makes it feel real – after days of faking smiles, pretending like there’s no weight pressing down on her chest, acting as though it doesn’t fucking hurt.

(it starts with small scratches, but it grows and grows until her thighs are fully embellish and she can never wear shorts again.)  

step three.

she’s fifteen and in high school. no one talks about the picture anymore – it’s a distant memory for all but her. aeri learns how to diet – to be specific, aeri learns how to treat food as an enemy. everything has a number – a bowl of rice: 200 calories, a piece of deep-fried pork: 336 calories, that one fried egg: 70 calories. she learns that to lose weight, she needs to be in a calorie deficit and so, she starves. she eats less and less and less and slowly, when the numbers drop, when her ribs start protruding, when her face loses any trace of baby fat, aeri finally feels powerful. finally. (she never wants to lose this feeling – and so, when she eats a bit too much, 200 calories above her deficit, she does anything she can to get rid of it.)

life seems to be getting better - the smart boy who sits beside her is nice to her. he brings her grapes, brings her strawberry milk, tells her to study hard, work hard. before she knows, aeri looks at him like how she once looked at her sister. her heart flutters involuntarily and she starts dreaming of a life with him by her side. jinseok, she thinks dreamily as she shoots him a shy smile, jinseok.

a few weeks later, she hears some gossip. someone tells her that jinseok said he might actually like her if she had better teeth, if she was prettier. “good luck!” they add. they mean well – like every one of those insidious comments. so casually cruel in the name of being honest.

a part of aeri dies that day. she’s never enough, it’ll never be enough, she’s not worth anything – she doesn’t eat anything for the next day. her punishment for being alive.

(‘ugly,’ she carves into her skin, ‘so fucking ugly.’)

step 4.

she’s seventeen and she now weighs less than a hundred pounds. her mother tells her to eat more and aeri makes up constant lies about how she had a big dinner with her friends, she’s full from the night before. her words don’t match her actions and her mother knows, but aeri manages to leave before she can say anything every single time. at school, her friends look at her with concern. “you can’t live like this, aeri,” they tell her one day, worry flooding their eyes after aeri passes out during pe. aeri just laughs it off, tries to ignore the perpetual growl of her stomach and changes to conversation by giving another compliment to her friends. “you have nicer eyes!”

(that’s what aeri is known for – she’s sweet and nice and full of compliments. she may not be the prettiest but she’s friendly and caring, and she’ll drown for you even if you won’t even step into a puddle for her. doesn’t matter if she’s too needy, too clingy, desperate to hold on to anything that resembles acceptance and love.)

that’s why she lets that boy into her life. deep down, aeri knows that he doesn’t like her but it’s okay. it’s a win-win situation – he gives the temporary affection, feeds her with the validation that she needs. at least someone’s giving her attention and for once, she feels good enough.

step five.

she’s eighteen when she stops getting regular periods. she’s eighteen when she can barely walk five minutes without huffing. she’s eighteen when her parents sit her down, begging her to be better. (aeri doesn’t know how to tell her she doesn’t want to be better – she wants to die.) “we’ll do anything,” they plead, eyes watering with tears. there is no one she despises more than herself at this moment; for wounding the two people who’ve given her nothing but unconditional love, for being stuck in this endless cycle of self-hate, for trying to reach an impossible goal.

aeri turns away from them. because she’s not smiling anymore and she feels her throat burn, tears prickling at the edge of her eyes. she forces her attention on the  the photo of her sister on the wall with her perfect smile and perfect body that she never had to work for. looks at the reflection in the mirror – her red-rimmed eyes, her asymmetrical face, her too-thin lips. looks at the concerned faces of her parents, tears dried on their face.  

“i want plastic surgery,” is all she says.

(and so she does. she fixes her nose and the tip of it, gets double eyelids, reshapes her jaw.)  

step six.

she’s in her first year of university and she feels like a different person. it’s nice, aeri thinks, she can be someone that isn’t herself for the first time in twenty years. but then, alise drops the news and aeri feels like her whole fucking world is crumbling down, as if she was back to being fourteen and being exposed for her mistakes. she can’t breathe, she can’t breathe – it’s back to square one and this time, she stops eating for a week and drives the blade deep enough that she needs to get stitches.

(once a fuck-up, always a fuck-up.)

step seven.

she’s twenty-six now and working as a private banker in one of korea’s top banks. she wishes she could say that life gets better and sometimes, it does but sometimes, when it’s late and aeri feels like she’s losing every bit of her sanity, she falls back into old habits and it’s ugly. aeri’s so scared so scared that she’s going to be a laughing stock again and she can’t have that. not anymore.

(aeri still keeps that photo from twelve years ago in a drawer. she tells herself, that maybe, one day she’ll finally learn to love herself and throw it away but it’s never today.)  

[imlisaok]

Elucien Meta: ‘Light’

PART 2

Barely any mention of Elain for a bit, but we’re back!

“Rhys gave her (Mor) a sharp look. But Elain said quietly, “The queen might come.” pg333

Okay, so we know Elain likely had a vision of this, but I’m curious if she somehow senses/knows that Lucien is the one to go retrieve her?

“Elain was staring at the unlit fireplace, eyes lost to that vague murkiness.” pg 334

The murkiness again! I swear, this is a reoccurring theme.

Then we have the seer reveal....

P.S. I’m adding it solely for the dramatics. Forgive me.

“We’re the ones who need. . .” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.” pg 334

The next part is oddly interesting; the original meeting had begun with Mor and Elain nestled on the couch together, but the way its written seems a bit suspicious.

“Elain was nestled beside a too-casual Mor on the sitting room couch when we arrived at the town house.” pg 332

And then when all is revealed...

“Elain turned to Mor, who was now gaping at my sister from her spot on the couch. “Is that what this is?”

(...)

“Mor’s gaze darted across my sister’s face, as if weighing the words, the question, the truth or lie within.

Mor at last blinked, mouth parting. Like that magic of hers had at last solved some puzzle. Slowly, clearly she nodded.” pg 335

I practically highlighted every single word in those sentences, and that’s because this is one of the only glimpses and demonstrations of Mor’s power we receive. It’s so little and yet it tells so much; now we’re aware Mor suspected Elain’s gift, which is interesting and seems to show that Mor/Azriel are just naturally like two sides of the same coin. Add Elain in there, and there’s a real understanding between all three of them. One sees truth; one sees things no one else can; one can see the future.

Let’s take it back to ACOMAF, when Feyre spoke about her sisters to Mor:

“I’d like my sisters to meet you. Maybe not today. But if you ever like it. . .”

Mor cocked her head.

I rubbed at the back of my bare neck. “I want them to hear your story. And know that there is a special strength. . .” As I spoke I realized I needed to hear it, know it, too. “A special strength in enduring such dark trials and hardships. . . And still remaining warm, and kind. Still willing to trust---and reach out.”

I think this sounds very similar to Elain. And I think what really separates Elucien from Elriel is that Azriel’s rage and anger hasn’t thawed. It’s understandable, considering all he’s lived through, but he needs to endure some personal growth before attempting a relationship---not just with Elain, but with anyone at all.

Lucien isn’t some perfect angel, either, but I think he’s very much suited for Elain and her current needs.

Azriel asked Elain, “There is another queen?”

Elain squinted, as if the question required some inner clarification, some. . . path into looking the right way at whatever had addled and plagued her. “Yes.” pg 336

Elain’s power is so interesting. On one hand, her visions come to her suddenly, and sometimes she has to work to sift through them to get what she wants.

“Azriel nodded. “You knew,” he said to Elain. “About the young queen turning into a crone.”

Elain blinked and blinked, eyes clearing up again. As if the understanding, our understanding. . . it freed her from whatever murky realm she’d been in.” pg 336

When Feyre puts it that way, it basically means that Lucien understands her. He gets her, and that frees her from ‘whatever murky realm’ she’s in. Honestly, this is similar to the mutual understanding of Feyre/Rhys.

“The sixth queen is alive?” Azriel asked, calm and steady, the voice of the High Lord’s spymaster, who had broken enemies and charmed allies.

Elain cocked her head, as if listening to some inner voice. “Yes”

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.” pg 336

Listen, I’d pay a million bucks to know what Lucien was thinking right then and there.

Also, is it just me or I have an inkling there was some sort of mating bond thingy that occurred? Lucien was hardly mentioned for a bit, and the sole focus of the scene was Elain and Azriel, and then we get Elain ‘listening to some inner voice’ and Lucien staring. I wonder if their powers extend to each other, and if Lucien can sometimes hear/sense what Elain is seeing? Rhys and Feyre practically feel everything the other is doing/feeling, so I’m assuming the same applies here? (Neither members of Elucien is damaeti, so I’m inclined to believe it’s obviously slightly different)

“Elain shifted her face towards Rhys. Another blink. “They sold her---to. . . to some darkness, to some. . . sorcerer-lord. . .” She shook her head. “I can never see him. What he is. There is an onyx box that he possesses, more vital than anything. . . save for them. The girls. He keeps other girls---others so like her---but she. . . By the day, she is one form, by night, human again.” pg 337

I faintly remember Rhys mentioning that if he doesn’t utilize his magic, it can easily drive him insane. I’m wondering if the same applies to Elain? Or if she physically can’t fight against an oncoming vision? Or if she tries to, but it never works? It would then make sense why Lucien was staring; maybe he was genuinely worried for her.

“Elain shook her head. “I don’t know. I hear her---her screaming. With rage. Utter rage. . .” She shuddered.” pg 337

I’m also curious as to how powerful these visions are? Obviously it’s affecting her physically, and she seems to be navigating through loads of information, so I’m wondering if it can ‘consume’ her, and if Lucien help keep her bound to the actual real world?

“Mor leaned forward. “Do you know why the other queens cursed her---sold her to him?”

Elain studied the table. “No. No---that is all mist and shadow.” pg 337

I’m guessing she’s losing grasp of the vision? I wonder what determines how long the vision is, and if interrupting/asking questions somehow shortens the length? So many questions...

“I’ll go.”

Lucien was staring at Elain as he spoke.” pg 338

Lucien is love, Lucien is life, okay? I rest my case.

“This eye. . .” Lucien gestured to the metal contraption. “It can see things that others. . . can’t. Spells, glamours. . . Perhaps it can help me find her. And break her curse.” He glanced at Elain, who was again studying her lap. “I’m not needed here. I’ll fight if you need me to, but. . .” He offered me a grim smile. “I do not belong in the Autumn Court. And I’m willing to bet I’m no longer welcome at h---the Spring Court.” Home, he had almost said. “But I cannot sit here and do nothing. Those queens with their armies---there is a threat in that regard, too. So use me. Send me. I will find Vassa, see if she can. . . bring help.” pg 339

Whew, that was a mouthful. Anyway, I feel like Lucien did volunteer because he genuinely wanted to help, but I think Elain had something to do with the decision---and not just because he wanted to ‘protect her’ or settle some distance between the both of them. He stared at her when he announced he’d go, stared at her when mentioned finding her and breaking a curse, and then...

“Elain now watched Lucien warily. Blinking every now and then. She revealed no hint of whatever she might seeing---sensing. None.” pg 339

She must know something important; either a) she’s aware that he will find Vassa, and is maybe even a bit worried, b) she knows he’ll meet Vassa, and might even be a bit jealous 3) she advised Lucien to go, for some reason, or 4) she senses an injury or something and freaks out for her mate. I might be forgetting other reasons, but it’s late and I’m tired so I’m plowing ahead anyway.

“He only glanced at Elain, whose face was again a calm void while she traced a finger over the embroidery on the couch cushions.” pg 340

Whatever thought disturbed her, it was somehow eased. Dude, I swear, this has too many mating bond secret exchanges for my hungry brain. I literally want to know why her mood changed so suddenly, why it was that when he glanced in her direction when he noticed her anxiety/nervous behavior through the bond (I assume), she acted as though she was fine, albeit still expressionless.

“Even Nesta seemed relatively concerned. Not for him, no doubt, but the fact that if he were hurt, or killed. . . What would it do to Elain?” pg 340

This is hardly relevant, but it still made me cackle. Feyre is just like “NOT FOR HIM, NO DOUBT” like, we get it, Nesta really dislikes Lucien. lol

“Alone with my sisters and Lucien, Rhys and I caught Nesta’s eye.

And for once, my sister rose to her feet and came toward us, the three of us not so subtly heading upstairs. Leaving Lucien and Elain alone.

It was an effort not to linger atop the landing, to listen to what was said.

If anything was said at all.” pg 340

There was definitely some sort of conversation. At least a farewell, but I think more.

“Before that dark wind swept in, Lucien looked back.

Not to me, I realized---to someone behind me.

Pale and thin, Elain stood atop the stairs.

Their gazes locked and held.” pg 345

He sensed her! She sensed he was leaving---I don’t believe she was notified of his departure---and she’d gone to say goodbye. (a second time, perhaps?) It makes my heart warm that she didn’t think their last conversation was enough of a goodbye, and she decided to show up before he left.

“But Elain said nothing. Did not so much as take one step downward.

Lucien inclined his head in a bow, the movement hiding the gleam in his eye---the longing and sadness.” pg 345

This moment of silence is so powerful; they’re staring at each other, together and yet so far apart.

Angst is the word you’re looking for, friends.

“And when Lucien turned to signal to Rhys to go. . . He did not glance back at Elain.

Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs---as if she’d speak to him. Stop him.

Then Rhys was gone, and Lucien with him.

When I turned to offer Elain breakfast, she’d already walked away.” pg 345

If he’d been there for a few moments longer, she would have asked him to stay. And once he’d left, she’d walked away and had not bothered to eat breakfast, which was one of Nesta’s concerns prior to Lucien going to the Night Court.

We’re never truly informed on how she copes with their distance---Amren had bursted in the Summer Court attack and then everybody had left except for Elain---and I can only imagine the effects ‘losing’ someone you seem to care for involuntarily.

This post got really long, really fast. I’m going to be doing a third part, so stay tuned. ;)

Thoughts?

​

[trineunbounded]

Kylux Drabble: A Simple Request

(Ship Warning: Contains Kylux [Kylo Ren x General Hux])

*Slides the heck in* Eyyyyyyyy, this blog isn't dead. Kinda.

Regardless, I'm here today to celebrate the festivities of May the 4th...or, more aptly, Gay the 4th.

In honor of the movement that has arisen today to promote and raise awareness of LGBT representation in Star Wars media, have a crappy old Kylux drabble of mine that I have revamped/added to for the occasion.

I don't believe I posted the original version of this drabble on this blog before, but if I have have a slightly improved version of it anyway. 

May the gay be with you, friends. 

In the end, the Dark Side was about embracing power, and power, sometimes, was brought about through emotion.

Kylo Ren was, at his core, a man very much influenced by emotion: he had hopes, dreams, and aspirations like anyone else, focused though they may be through his training...

And sometimes all that energy, all that focused emotion and careful, regimented, and channeled power tended to break loose, break free, manifest in a myriad of ways...

Usually in violent outbursts, broken machinery, inanimate objects torn and sliced apart, followed by long periods of time spent alone, reassessing himself, connecting with his goals, his bloodline, his destiny, and calming down...

But never before had his emotions swung out and landed on attraction, before.

"General Hux."

The general turned to him, staring at Kylo with those stern, piercing blue eyes, eyes that Ren felt stab straight right through him...though, in truth, he had nothing to fear from this man: the power gap between a Knight of Ren and a mere, an ordinary General was simply too great...

Regardless, he took a deep breath, steadying himself.

"What is it, Ren?"

"..."

Some called Hux weasely, thin-boned, high-strung, and vain...but Kylo could see past all that gossip and bad-mouthing: Hux was a man of dedication, one who believed, strongly and without fail that the First Order would bring order to a chaotic galaxy, that his troops, trained nearly from birth, we're superior to mass-produced clones, and that, at the center of all things...

Power could bring peace and progress.

"Yes, Ren? What do you need? If you're just going to stand there and stare I will have to ask you t-"

"I have a request."

Hux's upright, commanding stance didn't falter, but his gaze did: his eyes traced over the Knight of Ren quickly, noting what he could from Ren's body language, unable to come to much of a conclusion, thanks to his hidden face...

He could glean tell that this request wasn't about business, though.

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if you need assistance on your next surveillance detail."

Hux's stance tightened as Ren's relaxed.

Ren knew that Hux took his last surveillance detail of each day alone, late in the night, when half the troops were resting and the others that were awake were occupied with training, mission preparation, and other menial tasks.

This night surveillance shift was usually quiet, consisting of standing at a security console near Hux's quarters, alone for several hours while he put some battle plans together and worked on some personal projects of his.

Why would Ren want to "help" him on such a detail?

He thought of their usual banter, of how they would butt heads over just about every decision made on-board and elsewhere, how at odds they seemed despite, in the end, sharing the same eventual goal: the victory of the First Order.

Perhaps, Hux mused, Ren had had a change of heart, and wanted to talk outside of the heat of battle or the tension of being on a mission. He could certainly handle that.

Hux looked Ren up and down, then responded, evenly:

"Yes. Meet me at the console in Block 336 at 01:00."

"Very well."

And with that, the Knight of Ren strode away, leaving Hux to return to his duties, while Kylo, in turn, breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

He'd said yes.

---

When Ren entered block 336 he found Hux staring at a screen, subdivided into about a dozen camera views from around the station, sitting, leaned back in a chair.

Kylo tilted his head: he was not accustomed to seeing Hux sitting, let alone reclining and without his usual straight-backed, focused attention.

"General Hux."

"Kylo Ren."

The two greeted each other tersely, both aware that the situation was a bit more that it seemed to be.

Kylo reached for the back of Hux's chair, gently resting a hand on it near Hux's head, and although the general didn't flinch at the close proximity of the limb, he did turn his head to look up at the masked man, quizzically.

Ren met his gaze, and calmly reassured him:

"You can relax, there's no one else near this block. I would feel their presence."

"I'm aware, Ren."

The general nodded and waved a hand towards the screens ahead of him, letting out a slightly annoyed sigh as be stood up.

"Ren, what is this about?"

"..."

Kylo was silent for a time, then cooly replied:

"I simply have something to say to you, something I didn't want others to hear."

"What?"

Ren...flinched slightly. He was, for the first time in a while, unnerved by Hux's coldness, and it didn't go unnoticed: Hux's icy glare turned to a look of bewildered concern as Ren tightened his hands into fists, and glared the general right in the eye from under his helmet.

"I admire your dedication. It takes much for a man unattuned to the Force to do as much as you do. I have never seen you raise a blaster and yet you run the most important base, critical to our success efficiently, powerfully, and with certainty. Your work is beyond appreciated, General Hux."

Hux...stared at the man, and although his body language denoted discomfort, his gaze grew a little softer. He wondered, perhaps, if Snoke had put Ren up to this, had had enough of their petty squabbling and had sent Ren to him to make amends...

But even with that helmet in the way, with the lack of facial cues to discern the full emotional impact of Ren's words...

Again, Hux could tell this wasn't just about business.

"...your praise is appreciated, Ren."

The general turned back to his chair and away from the Knight of Ren, Kylo responding by immediately calling out:

"Wait!"

Hux turned back, just in time to see Ren removing his helmet, tousled black curls framing a...suprisingly winded and flushed face.

"The Dark Side is about embracing power, and power sometimes comes from passion. It is obvious that you have passion for what you do, General Hux..."

Ren reached forward, placing a trembling hand on Hux's shoulder, Kylo suprised that the general didn't move away or back, a relieved smile unconsciously crossing the Knight of Ren's face.

Hux, on the other hand, was stuck a little still by this development, especially by the instability of Ren's hand as it shook on his shoulder and that odd smile that had crept across Kylo's face for a moment there: was he mad? Going mad? Why was he acting this way?

Regardless, he remained quiet as Kylo finished:

"...I can appreciate that, despite our occasional disagreements."

Hux was...starting to lose his nerve. His shoulders relaxed slightly, his gaze becoming less stern, his jaw not set, glancing from Ren to his hand on his shoulder and back.

"Well, I'd say they're a little more than 'occasional', Ren."

"..."

He didn't move back as Ren took a step closer, didn't flinch as he brought his face close to Hux's.

"...for some who heed the call to the darkness, our power is increased when we allow certain emotions to grow stronger, when we explore and pursue certain..."

Ren was visibly shaking, nervous, heart racing as he moved his hand up to cradle the side of Hux's face. The general stayed still.

"...emotions. Would you be willing to indulge and, perhaps, reciprocate such emotion, with me?"

Hux tilted his head slightly into Ren's hand, an eyebrow raised, looking him up and down.

He...hadn't considered romantic endeavors in quite a while...but with Ren staring at him with that terrified, blushy face, a side of the frightening Knight visible, now, that he had never seen before: with that helmet off, with Ren shaking like a frightened child approaching their playground crush, with Hux able to see the genuine longing and fear of rejection in those dark eyes...

He was quite intrigued.

"Very well, Ren," Hux said, his tone stern, but his words accepting:

"I will give this endeavor of yours a chance."

"...th-thank you, General Hux."

The Knight of Ren took his hand from Hux's face, quickly gathering his composure and reaching for his helmet.

"Ren!"

Kylo startled slightly at the General's loud command.

"I have a request to make of you."

Hux strode forward, getting very close to Ren, who in turn, blushed even more brightly, it taking everything in Hux's power not to laugh at such a display.

"...y-yes, General Hux?"

Hux looked him over one last time, weighing options, noting facial features and the tone of Ren's voice...

He moved swiftly, cupping the back of Ren's head and pulling him in close, planting a short, soft kiss on the man's forehead before pulling away and nodding towards Ren's helmet.

"You should go. Report back to my chambers after this surveillance detail tomorrow for further discussion on this endeavor of yours. Understood?"

Ren nodded, placing his helmet back on...

Unable to hide the little, blushy smile that spread across his face as the dark helm clamped down and hid his features from view.

"Understood, Hux."

[aboutbigbooks]

Ten new releases

Thanks to NetGalley, I’ve been getting advance reader’s copies of new books in return for honest reviews. There aren’t any big books in this crop (Ill Will comes close), but there’s probably something for everyone. And now, in chronological order, some offerings from the first half of 2017. . .

The Dry (Jane Harper, Flatiron, 336 pp., January 10). 4/5 stars. Returning to his small Australian hometown for the funeral of his childhood friend Luke, Melbourne cop Aaron Falk is convinced by Luke’s parents to take a closer look at the circumstances of his death. Doing so revives his and Luke’s shared past. That past involves a dead girl, and the town hasn’t forgotten. To make matters worse, a drought has everyone on edge. Falk has to negotiate their hostility and secrecy to shine a light into some dark places. A well-paced murder mystery in an unusual setting, with good writing. Reese Witherspoon has optioned it for a movie, and I hope that the movie lives up to the book’s cinematic quality.

Read if: You like who-done-its and police procedurals.

The River at Night (Erica Ferencik, Gallery/Scout Press, 304 pp., January 10). 3.5/5 stars. Four friends (is that a thing? seems like it's usually four friends) go river rafting off the grid in Maine. From the beginning, it's clear that things are not going to go smoothly. The guide is sketchy, they aren't experienced rafters, and one of them is an ER nurse, which is never a good sign in this set-up. This was a decent airplane read, if one-note (ominous from beginning to end.)

Read if:  You enjoyed the 1994 movie The River Wild.

The Impossible Fortress (Jason Rekulak, Simon & Schuster, 304 pp., February 7). 4/5 stars. Billy and his friends are coming of age in 1987, and they come up against, get mired in, or are individually able to resist sex, crime, and the Commodore 64. Light and funny – I read this after reading The Vorrh (Brian Catling), which was really weird and dark, and The Impossible Fortress was a perfect palate cleanser.  

Read if:  You want a mash-up of Stand by Me and Microserfs.

The Futures (Anna Pitoniak, Lee Boudreaux Books, 320 pp., January 17). 3 or 4/5 stars, depending on how you feel about things and maybe how old you are. Around the time I graduated from college, I was telling my hairdresser about how great the movie St. Elmo's Fire was. She basically said, of course you like it - it's about your life right now. I think I feel about The Futures the way she did about SEF. The narrative alternates between the perspectives of Evan and Julia, who are living together in New York after graduation, and also skips backward and forward in time. Julia is really the center of the story and seemed better developed as a character than Evan. As in SEF, there are several men, including Evan, in her life, and drama naturally ensues. Although the book was well written, I think it would have been more compelling without the asynchrony in the telling. Disclosure: For me, The Futures suffered by comparison with A Little Life, which also told the story of college friends in their post-graduate lives in New York. If you haven't read A Little Life, then (1) you might like The Futures more, and (2) WHY HAVE YOU NOT READ A LITTLE LIFE YET?

Read if:  You want the literary companion to St. Elmo's Fire.

Ill Will (Dan Chaon, Ballantine, 480 pp., March 7). 3/5 stars. Dustin Tillman is a therapist, a widower, a father, and the childhood survivor of a mysterious mass murder that was attributed to his foster brother. When his client Aqil – a cop on leave with a strong tendency toward conspiracy theories – gets Tillman questioning his past as well as recent events, things start to fall apart. Told from the perspectives of the various men (Tillman, his son, his foster brother), this book had an appealing premise but the overly introspective characters were ultimately unlikeable.

Read if:  You liked his previous books? You have a lot of time on your hands? Try The Dry first.

The Rules Do Not Apply (Ariel Levy, Random House, 224 pp., March 14). 5/5 stars. “I had been so lucky. So little had truly gone wrong for me before that night on the bathroom floor.” This memoir of how Levy builds a life and eventually a family, loses it, and survives is a deeper, albeit implicit, commentary on feminism and happiness than the explicit, sociological book The H-Spot (see below). Love and loss is a common trope, but Levy’s description of her grief is special and at the same time universal. “Grief is a world,” she writes, “you walk through skinned, unshelled.”

Read if:  You liked Cheryl Strayed’s Wild.

A Criminal Defense (William Myers, Jr., Thomas & Mercer, 382 pp., April 1). 4.5/5 stars. Got this one through an Amazon Kindle special, and I had to include it in this list even though it wasn’t a reader’s copy per se. Myers’s first book is told from the perspective of criminal defense lawyer and former prosecutor Mick McFarland, whose plans to mount the defense case of his life are subverted by the fact that everyone is keeping secrets from him. A great, fast-paced read. Looking forward to the next one, due out in 2018.

Read if:  You like Scott Turow’s novels and you don’t mind a change of venue from Chicago to Philadelphia.

The Dinner Party (Joshua Ferris, Little Brown, 256 pp., May 2).3 to 5/5 stars depending on the story. I keep wanting to recreate the magic of Then We Came to the End (2007), so I read this collection even though I’m not a short story person. Other reviewers I’ve heard (including Ferris himself) have basically characterized the protagonists of these stories as a (mostly male) bunch of assholes. It’s true that you wouldn’t want to spend too much time with them, so maybe the short story format is good for that. I personally found them more poignant than some others did. Sure, some were straight-up assholes, but others struck me as just wanting something they couldn’t have, in a childish kind of way: a perfect day, a married coworker. “More Abandon, or What Ever Happened to Joe Pope?” was the tragicomic best of the bunch.

Read if:  You’re a short story person and you can suffer fools.

Ginny Moon (Benjamin Ludwig, Park Row, 368 pp., May 2). 4.5/5 stars. Ginny Moon is 13 years old and autistic. She has a new foster family, a history no one understands that she can’t explain, and a quirky means of meting out justice, including duct-taping your drugs to Maine coon cats, flushing your socks down the toilet, and pooping on your rug (hiding some of the poop in the heat register for good measure). Told from Ginny’s first-person perspective, this is a unique novel that is funny, scary, and ultimately satisfying.

Read if: You’re interested in the inner workings of an autistic mind, you like unreliable narrators, and/or you’re a human being.

The H Spot (Jill Filipovic, Nation, 336 pp., May 2). 3/5 stars. I was looking forward to this release after reading Filipovic’s opinion piece for the New York Times, Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and Raise Ivankas. The premise of the book is fascinating: What would a world designed around women’s happiness look like? Unfortunately, the book is more of a catalog of the things that make women (and also a lot of men) unhappy. There were some moments that felt new and important (e.g., discussion of the new “wellness” dietary rules for women), but also a sense of missed opportunity. What would the world look like if men and women switched places? Would pregnancy be a pre-existing condition? Would men change their names when they married? How would the workplace change?

 Read if:  You can’t get a copy of Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth. Eat a doughnut while you’re at it.

[readincolour]

New Books Coming Your Way, May 2, 2017

This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare by Gabourey Sidibe 256 p.; Biography Gabourey Sidibe—“Gabby” to her legion of fans—skyrocketed to international fame in 2009 when she played the leading role in Lee Daniels’s acclaimed movie Precious. In This Is Just My Face, she shares a one-of-a-kind life story in a voice as fresh and challenging as many of the unique characters she’s played onscreen. With full-throttle honesty, Sidibe paints her Bed-Stuy/Harlem family life with a polygamous father and a gifted mother who supports her two children by singing in the subway. Sidibe tells the engrossing, inspiring story of her first job as a phone sex “talker.” And she shares her unconventional (of course!) rise to fame as a movie star, alongside “a superstar cast of rich people who lived in mansions and had their own private islands and amazing careers while I lived in my mom's apartment.” Sidibe’s memoir hits hard with self-knowing dispatches on friendship, depression, celebrity, haters, fashion, race, and weight (“If I could just get the world to see me the way I see myself,” she writes, “would my body still be a thing you walked away thinking about?”). Irreverent, hilarious, and untraditional, This Is Just My Face will resonate with anyone who has ever felt different, and with anyone who has ever felt inspired to make a dream come true.

Salt Houses by Hala Alyan 320 p.; Fiction On the eve of her daughter Alia’s wedding, Salma reads the girl’s future in a cup of coffee dregs. She sees an unsettled life for Alia and her children; she also sees travel, and luck. While she chooses to keep her predictions to herself that day, they will all soon come to pass when the family is uprooted in the wake of the Six-Day War of 1967. Salma is forced to leave her home in Nablus; Alia’s brother gets pulled into a politically militarized world he can’t escape; and Alia and her gentle-spirited husband move to Kuwait City, where they reluctantly build a life with their three children. When Saddam Hussein invades Kuwait in 1990, Alia and her family once again lose their home, their land, and their story as they know it, scattering to Beirut, Paris, Boston, and beyond. Soon Alia’s children begin families of their own, once again navigating the burdens (and blessings) of assimilation in foreign cities. A Small Revolution by Jimin Han 196 p.; Fiction On a beautiful Pennsylvania fall morning, a gunman holds college freshman Yoona Lee and three of her classmates hostage in the claustrophobic confines of their dorm room. The desperate man with his finger on the trigger—Yoona’s onetime friend, Lloyd Kang—is unraveling after a mysterious accident in Korea killed his closest friend, Jaesung, who was also the love of Yoona’s life. As the tense standoff unfolds, Yoona is forced to revisit her past, from growing up in an abusive household to the upheaval in her ancestral homeland to unwittingly falling in love. She must also confront the truth about what happened to Jaesung on that tragic day, even as her own fate hangs in the balance. Hadriana in All My Dreams by René Depestre 160 p.; Fiction Hadriana in All My Dreams, winner of the prestigious Prix Renaudot, takes place primarily during Carnival in 1938 in the Haitian village of Jacmel. A beautiful young French woman, Hadriana, is about to marry a Haitian boy from a prominent family. But on the morning of the wedding, Hadriana drinks a mysterious potion and collapses at the altar. Transformed into a zombie, her wedding becomes her funeral. She is buried by the town, revived by an evil sorcerer, and then disappears into popular legend. Set against a backdrop of magic and eroticism, and recounted with delirious humor, the novel raises universal questions about race and sexuality. The reader comes away enchanted by the marvelous reality of Haiti's Vodou culture and convinced of Depestre's lusty claim that all beings--even the undead ones--have a right to happiness and true love.

No One Can Pronounce My Name by Rakesh Satyal 400 p.; Fiction In a suburb outside Cleveland, a community of Indian Americans has settled into lives that straddle the divide between Eastern and Western cultures. For some, America is a bewildering and alienating place where coworkers can’t pronounce your name but will eagerly repeat the Sanskrit phrases from their yoga class. Harit, a lonely Indian immigrant in his mid-forties, lives with his mother who can no longer function after the death of Harit’s sister, Swati. In a misguided attempt to keep both himself and his mother sane, Harit has taken to dressing up in a sari every night to pass himself off as his sister. Meanwhile, Ranjana, also an Indian immigrant in her mid-forties, has just seen her only child, Prashant, off to college. Worried that her husband has begun an affair, she seeks solace by writing paranormal romances in secret. When Harit and Ranjana’s paths cross, they begin a strange yet necessary friendship that brings to light their own passions and fears. Inheritance from Mother by Minae Mizumura 464 p.; Fiction Mitsuki Katsura, a Japanese woman in her mid-fifties, is a French-language instructor at a private university in Tokyo. Her husband, whom she met in Paris, is a professor at another private university. He is having an affair with a much younger woman. In addition to her husband’s infidelity, Mitsuki must deal with her ailing eighty-something mother, a demanding, self-absorbed woman who is far from the image of the patient, self-sacrificing Japanese matriarch. Mitsuki finds herself dreaming of the day when her mother will finally pass on. While doing everything she can to ensure her mother’s happiness, she grows weary of the responsibilities of a doting daughter and worries she is sacrificing her chance to find fulfillment in her middle age. The Leavers by Lisa Ko 352 p.; Fiction One morning, Deming Guo’s mother, Polly, an undocumented Chinese immigrant, goes to her job at a nail salon—and never comes home. No one can find any trace of her. With his mother gone, eleven-year-old Deming is left mystified and bereft. Eventually adopted by a pair of well-meaning white professors, Deming is moved from the Bronx to a small town upstate and renamed Daniel Wilkinson. But far from all he’s ever known, Daniel struggles to reconcile his adoptive parents’ desire that he assimilate with his memories of his mother and the community he left behind. Told from the perspective of both Daniel—as he grows into a directionless young man—and Polly, Ko’s novel gives us one of fiction’s most singular mothers. Loving and selfish, determined and frightened, Polly is forced to make one heartwrenching choice after another. Miss Burma by Charmaine Craig 368 p.; Fiction Miss Burma tells the story of modern-day Burma through the eyes of Benny and Khin, husband and wife, and their daughter Louisa. After attending school in Calcutta, Benny settles in Rangoon, then part of the British Empire, and falls in love with Khin, a woman who is part of a long-persecuted ethnic minority group, the Karen. World War II comes to Southeast Asia, and Benny and Khin must go into hiding in the eastern part of the country during the Japanese Occupation, beginning a journey that will lead them to change the country’s history. After the war, the British authorities make a deal with the Burman nationalists, led by Aung San, whose party gains control of the country. When Aung San is assassinated, his successor ignores the pleas for self-government of the Karen people and other ethnic groups, and in doing so sets off what will become the longest-running civil war in recorded history. Benny and Khin’s eldest child, Louisa, has a danger-filled, tempestuous childhood and reaches prominence as Burma’s first beauty queen soon before the country falls to dictatorship. As Louisa navigates her newfound fame, she is forced to reckon with her family’s past, the West’s ongoing covert dealings in her country, and her own loyalty to the cause of the Karen people. The Book of Phoenix by Nnedi Okorafor 288 p.; Science fiction Phoenix was grown and raised among other genetic experiments in New York’s Tower 7. She is an “accelerated woman”—only two years old but with the body and mind of an adult, Phoenix’s abilities far exceed those of a normal human. Still innocent and inexperienced in the ways of the world, she is content living in her room speed reading ebooks, running on her treadmill, and basking in the love of Saeed, another biologically altered human of Tower 7. Then one evening, Saeed witnesses something so terrible that he takes his own life. Devastated by his death and Tower 7’s refusal to answer her questions, Phoenix finally begins to realize that her home is really her prison. But Phoenix’s escape and destruction of Tower 7 is just the beginning of her story….

Confessions of a Domestic Failure: A Humorous Book About a not so Perfect Mom by Bunmi Laditan 336 p.; Fiction There are good moms and bad moms-and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the "Motherhood Better" boot camp run by the mommy-blog empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? Moving Forward Sideways Like a Crab by Shani Mootoo 310 p.; Fiction/Trinidad Jonathan Lewis-Adey was nine when his parents separated, and his mother, Sid, vanished entirely from his life. It is not until he is a grown man that Jonathan finally reconnects with his beloved lost parent, only to find, to his shock and dismay, that the woman he knew as "Sid" in Toronto has become an elegant man named Sydney living in his native Trinidad. For nine years, Jonathan has paid regular visits to Sydney on his island retreat, trying with quiet desperation to rediscover the parent he adored inside this familiar stranger, and to overcome his lingering confusion and anger at the choices Sydney has made. At the novel's opening, Jonathan is summoned urgently to Trinidad where Sydney, now aged and dying, seems at last to offer him the gift he longs for: a winding story that moves forward sideways as it reveals the truths of Sydney's life. But when and where the story will end is up to Jonathan, and it is he who must decide what to do with Sydney's haunting legacy of love, loss, and acceptance. One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter: Essays by Scaachi Koul 256 p.; Essays In One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, Scaachi Koul deploys her razor sharp humor to share all the fears, outrages, and mortifying moments of her life. She learned from an early age what made her miserable, and for Scaachi anything can be cause for despair. Whether it’s a shopping trip gone awry; enduring awkward conversations with her bikini waxer; overcoming her fear of flying while vacationing halfway around the world; dealing with internet trolls, or navigating the fears and anxieties of her parents. Alongside these personal stories are pointed observations about life as a woman of color, where every aspect of her appearance is open for critique, derision, or outright scorn. Where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, leaving little room for a woman not solely focused on marriage and children to have a career (and a life) for herself. April 28, 2017 at 11:00AM from ReadInColour.com http://ift.tt/2pcAviP

[aesarctic]

Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline

It’s been a while since I’ve written a full-scale review. Sorry, guys!

Read on Goodreads

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

FOR THE SUPER NON-SPOILERY PEOPLE: Ready Player One is definitely a book that I'd read the back cover to. Maybe that's not your thing, but I find that some books are better going in knowing nothing, and some books you need to know a bit about. This is one of the books that I'd definitely read the back-of-the-book-blurb. I can tell you right now that any spoilers you may think are in it aren't actually spoilers. This book is also definitely five-star potential. Don't be put off by my four stars. FOR THE NON-SPOILERY PEOPLE (hidden for the SNSP): Expanding on what I said up there, anything in the back-of-the-book-blurb that you may think is spoilers is said within the first chapter. It's not even labeled "Chapter 1." It's labelled "Chapter 0." You're fine to read it. I really liked the concept of this book, and I when I finished it, I felt accomplished, but I also wanted more. Shout-out to Mark Vaders (mjvaders) on Spotify for a Ready Player One playlist of every song mentioned in the book. That's super cool. https://open.spotify.com/user/mjvaders (The User) https://open.spotify.com/user/mjvader... (The Playlist)

FOR THE SPOILERY PEOPLE: I have five pages of notes, front and back. Let's go. The book opens on chapter 0000. It's a slow introduction, the main points being: 1) The OASIS is a thing 2) The creator, Halliday, died and made a scavenger-hunt-like contest 3) It's been five years, and no one has found the first key. Until now. But the thing is, it gives us the entire video. Why can't we have a summary of the video? It took me a while to get hooked into the book because the video wasn't the most fun to read. I'd also like to note that this was the only time footnotes were used. Why didn't we get more of those? Why were they necessary? Why were they necessary for only that specific chapter? I'd also like to note that there are a lot of sections in this book that reads like a history lesson, and I'm not sure these are necessary. I'll get to that later. I was not alive in the 1980s. In fact, Halliday is two years younger than my mom. There were so many 80s culture references that probably went over my head, but I was surprised at how many I caught and understood. I've watched a few of the movies mentioned (though, I personally am not a StarWars fan), and I've heard some of the music, and I've played a few of the games. Call me cliché, but I always go straight to the Pac-Man machine in arcades. Either that or Skee-ball. My favourite mention, though is at the very end, when they mention Voltron. (Pages 332 and 336 in my paperback copy). June 10th of 2016, a remake of Voltron was created, and I definitely watched it when it came out. Then I watched the 2011 remake, and a good amount of the 1984 original show. The only one I have not watched (and like to pretend doesn't exist) is the 1990s version. Anyway, anyway, I like Voltron. At the beginning, we get this nice glimpse into the real world, featuring Aunt Alice. She took Wade's laptop, and I still don't understand why he didn't scramble to hide it when he heard her coming. He said he had backups, but he also mentioned it was a pain to redownload everything. I would have tried to hide my laptop. One of my favoruite settings in this book was Wade's secret hideout. I love how he rigged it, and I thought that was super cool. I was very upset when he left it. It also confused me when the Sixers didn't realize he was in there? They said they had proof he hadn't left the trailer in three days, and that proof was video, right? How do they not have video of him going to his hideout? Or at least exiting the trailer? They said they saw him enter the trailer, but they didn't see him leave? I predicted that someone would find it, but no one ever did. Props to Wade. I had a hard time imagining the OASIS. I should be imagining real life, since the graphics are that good. I could have at least imagined a Skyrim-looking game. But, nah. I imagined something more like Overwatch. Art3mis. I should have known she'd become a little more important in the story, but as he was ranting about her blog, I literally wrote "I hope she doesn't have a big role" and I did not like her. Aech. I pronounced this as "Ache" at first, but Wade corrected us. I did not follow that. I should have, and I tried, but I still said "Ache" in my head. As someone who gets their name mispronounced a lot, I should have known better, but I did not and I am ashamed. I didn't like Aech at first. Eventually she grew on me, and I was incredibly mad when Wade totally dissed her for Art3mis. Ugh. I hate romance stories like that. I hate romance stories in general, but this one was bad. I hated how Art3mis was set up to be his girlfriend. No thank you. I like the setting for this book--meaning how the Real World was set up and how that affects the OASIS and why the OASIS is used because of it. I mean, I don't fancy the idea of a Great Recession, but it's a cool concept in theory. The copper key was found on page 84. This book has 372 pages. At least, that's what it is in my copy. That seemed really early for me, especially since he immediately knew what the phrase on the copper key meant, and I was worried that the book would have something strange happen at the end after all of the keys and gates were found. Luckily there was nothing wrong at the end (besides an unnecessary romance) and the book was dedicated to the scavenger hunt. Thank the gods. Speaking of immediately knowing what the message on the copper key meant, he described where the first gate was, and it's a game, you know, so my immediate thought was that the game wouldn't be there and someone had stolen it and there'd be some complication. No. Of course, we have to meet Art3mis. Kill me. I like the fact that Wade wasn't the first one to find the temple, though. That's cool. He was just the first one to complete it. "I wanted to propose marriage." --page 93 K I L L M E When he figured out the message on the copper key, Wade says, "I didn't think it would matter which copy of his hometown I went to..." and I thought that it would. I thought that it would totally matter, and he'd have to go through however many worlds looking for the correct game, and the game wouldn't be there, and he'd have to track it down, or something. It was weird reading something that went so right on the first try. He also totally skips out on school, which he had previously mentioned that he needed to attend to not get into trouble. I've attended two high schools, one that requires 24 credits, and the one I'm currently at requires 26. I currently have 24 credits, so theoretically I only need to pass two classes that total up to two credits, right? Wrong. Schools tend to require a certain amount of credits in each subject--I did a research project on this my sophomore year. I still need to take two language arts classes and one science class. Some schools require four credits in language arts, science, and math. Then three in social studies. That's what I've seen most often. How much did he double up to accomplish being able to flake his senior year? You only have a certain about of blocks per semester/trimester, and in today's world we can take more with online classes, but his school is an online school. How did his credit system work? If anyone has any input or corrections to make, please feel free. I don't know everything. Wade mentions that it was a "beautiful Midwestern Day" and as someone who is from the Midwest, I'd like to ask where? Okay, so Wade signs something with the acronym "MTFBWYA" on page 127 of the paperback. I know I'm dense, but what does that stand for? Why is he signing so many contracts and giving people models of his avatar? Doesn't he want to stay as secret as possible? Doesn't that mean not letting people know what you look like? I love Wade and Aech's friendship! At the beginning, anyway. Wade didn't want to tell Aech any of the information, and she was totally chill with that. She understood and they stayed best friends. At that moment, anyway. I'm salty. How did Wade not predict that recording would be prohibited in the place he met with Sorrento? I thought that the comic book stack falling over was a Sixer. I was ever so wrong. If they recreated Ludus to make Ludus II, wouldn't that also have the tomb with the copper key? There's a huge amount of time where Wade didn't mention Art3mis' blog, and I felt that that was a bit out of character. He was checking it all the time before all of this. The next time we get an update on it is after Art3mis dumps him, blocks him, and stops posting on her blog. Speaking of Art3mis, I still think that their friendship and romance developed in a very strange way, and I definitely don't like it. I hate that she replaced Aech. The author made a huge point that we have no idea what Art3mis looked like. I felt as if this was way too built up. Wade is a lot like Frank Zhang from the Heroes of Olympus series, by Rick Riordan. SPOILER: He totally buffs up, and I feel as if it's erasing a bit of diversity in a way. END SPOILER Some points from my notes: -Art3mis is clearly way smarted than Wade -My aesthetic is doing research to play Pac-Man -I love that Aech found the key while Wade was playing Pac-Man I felt as if the trophy place that Wade checked out should have clicked for him a lot sooner. He had that knowledge. He even had the knowledge of Zork. Why didn't he skim through his journal the minute he didn't understand the next clue? That would have gotten him there a lot sooner. This book has a very good balance of dead characters. I appreciate important characters dying. It makes the story interesting. So Wade had that one job, but we never see him going to it after that initial time. What happened there? So Wade makes this entire plan to sneak into the Sixer's place, and readers are left in the dark. It's so weird reading, and a lot of my notes say things like, "This plan had better be good." When Daito died, Shoto handed over that weapon the three of them earned. I knew in that moment that that was probably the entire reason those characters existed, and I was a little upset. I laughed at the phrasing "101 IOI Plaza" There were four people: Wade, Art3mis, Aech, and Shoto. Three people were needed. Obviously someone was going to die. So does "P.S." stand for "postscript?" I was told it was "personal secret." Don't believe everything six-year-olds tell you. Marrow: *appears* Me: HE KNOCKED OVER THE COMIC BOOKS Me: *turns the page* Wade: HE KNOCKED OVER THE COMIC BOOKS Turns out Halliday and Marrow were in a love triangle, and things ended because of it. Ugh. Aech and Wade are friends again, by the way! That's good! And we end things with Art3mis and Wade, and I want to die. So, around the area where Wade was finding the copper key, I was beginning to realize that this book is a lot like The Raven Cycle series, by Maggie Stiefvater. Warning: TRC spoilers from here on out. The Raven Cycle is set up like a scavenger hunt, but complex and very real-worldly. In fact, one of the things I love about TRC is how complex, 3D, and life-like the characters are, and how 3D the plot is, and the settings are set up fantastically. Anyway, the story has a lot of history to it, in a way. One of the main characters, Gansey, is on this hunt for a Welsh king who lived centuries ago. History, right? But we don't get a lot of that history. We get the basics: "There is a dead king somewhere. If we find him, we get a wish." In Ready Player One, there's a dead game maker, and if you can follow the clues, you get the prize of money. It's a really similar plot--I'm not sure I'm conveying how similar it was in my mind. Anyway, in Ready Player One we get a lot of unnecessary history that I felt could be summarized like I just did. Maybe not quite like that because Ernest Cline is writing a book, not an informal review, but you know what I mean. The history wasn't interesting to me--I didn't need to know Halliday's backstory. Not really. I just needed to know that he was rich and someone was going to get that money. By following clues. The history bits really annoyed me, and I'd go on, but I think I've ranted enough. Next I'll get into the character differences and writing styles, and it goes on. Basically I did not need to read all of that history, and I'm citing a different series as my evidence. THANKS FOR READING

[ladystylestores]

Apple argues for commissions, ‘Find My’ NDA, Alexa to open apps – TechCrunch

Welcome back to This Week in Apps, the TechCrunch series* that recaps the latest OS news, the applications they support and the money that flows through it all.

The app industry is as hot as ever, with a record 204 billion downloads and $120 billion in consumer spending in 2019. People are now spending three hours and 40 minutes per day using apps, rivaling TV. Apps aren’t just a way to pass idle hours — they’re a big business. In 2019, mobile-first companies had a combined $544 billion valuation, 6.5x higher than those without a mobile focus.

In this series, we help you keep up with the latest news from the world of apps, delivered on a weekly basis.

* This Week in Apps was previously available only to Extra Crunch subscribers. We’re now making these reports available to all TechCrunch readers.  

Let’s dive in.

Headlines

Top Story: Apple doubles down on its right to take a 30% cut

Image Credits: TechCrunch

Ahead of Apple CEO Tim Cook’s testimony before Congress, Apple on Thursday again took to the press to fight back against claims of anti-competitive practices on its App Store.

Last month, the company detailed the results of a commissioned study that showed how Apple wasn’t receiving a cut of revenue on the majority of App Store transactions — $519 billion in commerce. This time, Apple is touting the results of another study by the same analyst group that is meant to demonstrate how Apple’s App Store commission rate is similar to those of other app stores and digital content marketplaces.

The study exhaustingly compares the App Store’s 30% commission to all other forms of storefronts, online and off. This includes other app stores, game stores, e-commerce marketplaces, digital platforms and even brick-and-mortar retail. Apple’s conclusion is that it’s not doing anything different from the others, so what’s the big deal?

Of course, this misses the point. The antitrust issues surrounding Apple’s App Store are not about whether Apple is charging more than other digital marketplaces. It’s about whether that commission structure is hindering competition, given Apple’s size, wealth and power.

As indie developer Brent Simmons (of NetNewsWire) put it this week, the cut limits developers’ ability to hire and retain talent.

To an app on the App Store it might mean being able to lower prices — or hire a designer or a couple junior developers. It might be the difference between abandoning an app and getting into a virtuous circle where the app thrives.

Quality costs money, and profitability is just simple arithmetic: anything that affects income — such as Apple’s cut — goes into that equation.

To put it in concrete terms: the difference between 30% and something reasonable like 10% would probably have meant some of my friends would still have their jobs at Omni, and Omni would have more resources to devote to making, testing, and supporting their apps.

Apple’s opening of ‘Find My’ to third-parties isn’t as nice as it seems

Image Credits: Apple

Apple announced at WWDC 2020 that third-party developers, like Tile, would be able to tap into Apple’s “Find My” technology platform to locate lost items and gadgets that aren’t made by Apple. The move was meant to counteract Tile’s ongoing complaints and testimony to U.S. antitrust investigators that Apple favored its first-party services at the expense of competitors’ businesses.

Tile was particularly concerned over Apple’s plans to announce a direct competitor, AirTags, which would be allowed to leverage the “Find My” technology at a deeper level. The move could potentially have wiped out Tile’s business with a better product — at least from a consumer standpoint.

The Washington Post reported this week that Apple’s opening of “Find My” is not the olive branch it seems, however. The publication acquired the 50-page confidentially agreement that all developers would have to sign, which indicates there are a lot of restrictions on how this integration works. For instance, Apple customers using “Find My” to locate a device will be barred from using competing services simultaneously, the document said. This is an unusual restriction — and one that makers of Bluetooth devices and smart home products don’t have to agree to for their own products.

Amazon turns Alexa into a mobile app launcher

Image Credits: Bryce Durbin

How often do you think Amazon kicks itself over its smartphone failures? Given that the company hasn’t been able to compete directly on mobile, it’s finding another angle by way of Alexa. Amazon this week announced a bevy of new developer tools for its Alexa virtual assistant, including one that will allow the digital helper to launch iOS and Android apps using voice commands.

For example, you’d be able to say things like, “Alexa, start recording a TikTok,” or “Alexa, ask Twitter to search for #BLM.”

It’s unclear how many developers would adopt just a feature, outside of those that already offer one of the more popular Alexa skills. After all, Siri and Google Assistant can already launch and control your apps.

While Amazon is likely hoping that tying Alexa to the world of mobile apps could give it some momentum in terms of building an app ecosystem of its own, consumers so far have seemed to largely prefer using Alexa for first-party activities, like playing music, listening to news, controlling the smart home, asking random questions, making lists, setting reminders and more.

The move, however, may hint that Amazon is thinking about building out a mobile app ecosystem for its Alexa devices with a screen, like forthcoming versions of its Echo Show, for example.

Apple releases beta 3 builds of iOS 14, iPadOS 14

Testers this week received their third set of iOS 14 developer betas, as the software moves closer to its fall launch date. Beyond the usual bug fixes and performance improvements, only small changes were spotted this time around. This includes a new Music app icon, widget and the ability to share music to Snapchat; a new widget from the Clock app; a new pop-up when organizing the home screen that explains how to hide pages; a new pop-up when you use widgets for the first time; an updated design for Memoji masks; and more.

Facebook takes on Zoom with its latest Messenger Rooms update

Image Credits: Facebook

Facebook this week announced a new feature that it hopes will give it a better shot at challenging Zoom’s dominance on web conferencing that came about due to the pandemic. The company upgraded its Messenger Rooms group calls platform to support the ability to live broadcast calls to platforms like Facebook, YouTube and Twitch — a move that effectively combined Facebook���s live-streaming capabilities with group video chat. Facebook turned around the feature in a relatively short time, given it has only been a matter of months since Zoom has really taken off. That indicates Facebook understands the threat of online chat and socializing exiting its platform.

The goal with the new addition is to make it simpler to broadcast to social platforms, to encourage users to return. Even if they arrive in order to broadcast to competitors’ sites, like YouTube, the company understands that adding Facebook to the list of destinations will increase the output of live broadcasts on its own platform.

In addition, Facebook also this week announced that Messenger now lets you secure your chats with Touch ID or Face ID on iOS. Why don’t more apps offer this feature?

TikTok unveils a $200M fund to back U.S. creators, as it scrambles for a “Plan B”

LOS ANGELES, CA – AUGUST 01: A general view of the atmosphere during the TikTok US launch celebration at NeueHouse Hollywood on August 1, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images)

As the U.S. government weighs a ban on the Chinese-headquartered app over privacy concerns, the company announced plans to hire 10,000 employees across the U.S. over the next three years and launched a $200 million fund to invest in new creators. The new fund is aimed at helping top creators in the U.S. supplement their earnings, and potentially find the next big TikTok star in the process. The platform will begin accepting applications from U.S.-based creators starting next month and will then distribute the capital over the coming year.

Meanwhile, TikTok parent company ByteDance continues to discuss a range of other options to keep its popular and profitable app alive in the U.S. The latest, according to The Information, is one that would have a small group of the company’s U.S. investors joining forces to buy a majority stake in TikTok.

The U.S government — and particularly the Trump administration — continues to be skeptical about TikTok’s China ties. This week, the U.S. House voted to ban federal employees from using the app on government-issued devices. The vote passed 336-71, as part of a package of bipartisan amendments to the National Defense Authorization Act.

Robinhood ends plan for a U.K. launch

Image Credits: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Mobile investing app Robinhood said this week it would not be launching in the U.K., as planned. The company said it was now going to hold off on its global expansion plans to instead focus its efforts in its home market, the U.S. The company had already received over 250,000 sign-ups on its U.K. waitlist, which it says will now be deleted in line with local privacy laws. The company said it will transfer 10 U.K. employees to the U.S., but others will be let go.

The app has been more recently facing criticism in the U.S. for how it lures in young, inexperienced traders who then buy and sell some of the riskiest financial products on the market — at rates higher than other retail brokerage firms. With its hip and youthful design and social app-like features, such as confetti and emoji, Robinhood can make investing feel more like a game, The NYT reported in a recent feature. But the reality is that these inexperienced users are taking more speculative risks, sometimes with devastating results. One Robinhood user killed himself after seeing his balance drop to negative $730,000 — a figure that was higher, in part, due to some of his incomplete trades.

Google has its own ‘Onavo’

Image Credits: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Google today already allows Android app developers to collect usage data from devices where their app is installed, so it comes as no surprise that Google was doing this itself, too. The Information revealed Google’s program that allows it to access usage data on any device that has its Google apps pre-installed. Similar to Facebook’s Onavo, the data wasn’t just used to make improvements to Android, but was also used as a competitive advantage.

According to the report, Google had used the data to show how Google’s own services compared to rivals. This is what Facebook had used Onavo for, too — even leveraging those learnings to inform its acquisition strategy. APIs aren’t the only way large tech companies collect data on smartphone user habits. App intelligence firms like App Annie and Sensor Tower provide similar data to customers, obtained through a number of apps that downplay their true purpose, but really serve as data collection machines.

Data collection like this has been underway for years, but with the antitrust investigations now underway, the time may have come for regulators to actually do something about it.

Funding and M&A

Fintech startup Meemo came out of stealth and launched its social finance app with $10 million in seed funding. Investors including Saama Capital, Greycroft, Monashees and Sierra Ventures led the round with additional participation from Amit Singhal, Hans Tung and several former colleagues from Google and Snap.

Swiss keyboard startup Typewise raises $1 million seed round to build its “privacy-safe” next word prediction engine that works entirely offline. The round consists of $700,000 from more than a dozen local business angels; and $340,000 via the Swiss government through a mechanism akin to a research grant.

China’s Missfresh raises $495 million for its e-grocery app with deep WeChat integrations. The round was led by state-backed China International Capital Corporation. Other investors included ICBC International Securities, Tencent, Abu Dhabi Capital Group, Tiger Global and a fund managed by the government of Changshu county, home to Missfresh’s east China headquarters

Levitate raises $6 million for its “keep-in-touch” email marketing solution for small business that works across web and mobile. Investors include Tippet Venture Partners, Durham, North Carolina-based Bull City Venture Partners and angel investor Peter Gassner, the co-founder and CEO of Veeva Systems and investor in Zoom

Downloads

Dilims

Image Credits: Dilims

This beautifully designed indie iOS app called Dilims lets you display different time zones on one screen, and even name them with aliases or view them as a widget. The simple single-purpose utility is useful for anyone who has to work with teams or clients across time zones, and wants an easier way to see what time it is and where. For $2, that’s kind of a steal, too.

Dark Noise 2

Image Credits: Dark Noise

If you like to play ambient noise to help you focus, sleep or just relax, you’ll want to check out Dark Noise 2. This ambient noise app for iOS just got a big update, which adds new sounds, new icons and introduces iCloud syncing. Plus, it now allows you to create your own custom mix of ambient sounds so you can chill to the sounds of rain at the beach, for example, or whatever else you want to blend. The app is $5.99 on the App Store. 

Further Reading (and Listening)

Apple Kills IDFA: How Will the Fallout Really Affect Marketers?: Dig into the implications of the IDFA changes in the latest episode of the Mobile Presence podcast, in a discussion with Shamanth Rao, veteran growth marketer and CEO of RocketShip HQ, a full-service mobile user acquisition agency.

What Ever Happened to Digital Contact Tracing?: Lawfare takes a look at how the contact-tracing app landscape is shaping up, given the disappearance of contact tracing apps from the headlines. Though Apple and Google’s API was meant to encourage each country to build their own apps, the U.S. has instead taken a patchwork approach due to its fractured response to COVID-19. Today, there are a handful states with their own apps, and only some that plan to use Apple and Google’s technology. Many states have no plans for an app at all, turning instead to human-led contract tracing efforts.

Designed for iPad: What makes a good iPad app today? These things, says LookUp Design in a thoughtful post.

Tweets of the Week

But as Gruber noted, Steve Jobs said “We don’t intend to make any money off the App Store.” Thus, if Apple *is* making a lot of money off the App Store, that’s arguably a mistake, following a misguided path.https://t.co/NLg6oCDF1z

— Jeff Johnson (@lapcatsoftware) July 23, 2020

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from World Wide News https://ift.tt/2CPnsxr

[change-like-the-weather]

The F Word

The F word “It’s just baby fat”
“Once you’re older it will all disappear” If I could go back in time and punch younger me, I would. No adult will tell a child they will be fat forever unless they do something about it. I’ve always been fat and I’ve always just accepted it. I just avoid saying it and so does everyone around me. Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t little hints here and there; “Maybe you should drink water”
“Let me, that’s heavy”
“Plus size is over there” Etc. Not too bad. But still. I wish I could tell my younger self to do something about it. But I can’t. So I’m going to have to start now. As of 4/23/2017 I am 5'9 and 336 lbs. Gross. However, I’ll throw a little bone to myself because of my job some of that weight is muscle. I can pick up some heavy shit and have a little endurance. I currently cannot do a push up. Can’t pick myself up on to things. Can’t walk up the same flight of stairs I walk up every day without getting winded. I joined a gym for the first time ever. Right now I’m only doing a brisk walk for an hour on a treadmill. Before this, I was drinking a ton of soda (Dr. Pepper to be specific). I’m struggling a little without it. I hate water. But I’ll manage. Powerade zero is my best friend right now. I’m not trying to joke, I know anorexia is a very serious struggle for people, but if it weren’t for loose skin when weight is lost too fast I would just stop eating. But if I don’t want loose skin, I have to drop about 2lbs a week. Assuming I do manage to drop 2 lbs every week but still have muscle I should reach my goals in….. 2 years…. 😕. Well. At least I won’t spend all of my 20s fat. I also have to hide that I am doing this from my family. My 10 year old sister already struggles with body image because of my anorexic size 6 mother and I can’t have her knowing I’m struggling too. For the first time in my life I want to be fit and healthy. I don’t have to be a 120 lb stick. I want muscles. I want to fit in my clothes. Well, not my clothes. Clothes smaller than mine. I was going to write why in this post, but it’s going to get its own.

[kristyreadsbooks]

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard (2)

Summary, Part 2: While in the town square, they are ambushed by Maven. He uses a clicking (”sounder”) device that cause Mare unbearable pain and she blacks out.

“Kill me. The words repeat, over and over. It’s the only thing I can say, the only thing I want now. All thoughts of new bloods and Maven, my brother and Cal and Kilorn are gone entirely. Even the faces that haunt me, the faces of the dead, have disappeared. Funny, now that I’m dying, my ghosts decide to leave. I wish they would come back. I wish I didn’t have to die alone.” (page 237)

When Mare wakes up, she is with Cal and Kilorn and she is covered in scars. Maven branded her with an “M” on her chest. They got the other Newblood, her name is Ada and she can remember and memorize everything and anything. When Kilorn leaves, Cal hugs Mare and promises to never let Maven hurt her again and then he kisses her. He tells her he thinks Maven is killing Newbloods because he hopes it will make Mare trade herself for their safety - because Cal says Maven loves her and wants her more than anything.

“As his hands run over my skin, I feel a different sort of pain. Worse than Maven’s machine, deeper than my nerves. It aches like a hollow, like an empty weight. I am a sword, born of lightning, of this fire - and of Maven’s. One already betrayed me, and the other might leave at any moment. But I do not fear a broken heart. I do not fear pain. I cling to Cal, Kilorn, Shade, to saving all the new bloods I can, because I am afraid of waking up to emptiness, to a place where my friends and family are gone and I am nothing but a single bolt of lightning in the blackness of a lonely storm. If I am a sword, I am a sword made of glass, and I feel myself beginning to shatter.” (page 250)

When Mare runs into Kilorn he is upset. He saw the kiss. He tells hers the he knows she will never love him the way he loves her. He warns her not to let Cal manipulate and use her.

”’One day soon you're going to get lost,’ he [Kilorn] breathes. ‘ And I won’t be there to lead you back.’” (page 257)

They continue finding Newbloods including Luther who can kill with his touch, Nanny who can change her appearance, Ketha who can make things and people explode with her mind, Harrick who can make people see things by creating mirages and Gareth who can manipulate gravity.

”I turn my back on my oldest friend...I fear being alone more than anything else. So why do I do this? Why do I push away the people I love? What is so very wrong with me? I don’t know. And I don’t know how to make it stop.” (page 257)

They travel to another city, taking Harrick so he can get them passed the Silvers. When they get to the Newblood’s house they find it empty. But Mare discovers a dead baby and a note from Maven. When they return to camp, Mare feels cold so she spends the night in Cal’s room.

”October 22

A crude envelope, I know. But necessary. You must know what you are doing, what you are forcing me to do to these people.Every body is a message to you, and to my brother. Surrender to me, and it will stop. Surrender, and they will live. I am a man of my word.

Until we meet again, Maven” (page 276)

Mare starts spending all nights sleeping with Cal, and Kilorn starts avoiding her completely. When they go to another town, they encounter a man. His name Jon and he tells them he can see the future and they are walking into a trap.

Jon tells them that Julian Jacos is alive and imprisoned along with Sara Skonos and some Newbloods Mare thought Maven had killed. If they don’t save them, Elara will use them as weapons. Before they go, he tells them to stop somewhere else first. They leave immediately and Jon tells Mare to tell Farley that the answer to her question is Yes.

“’Attend to your own fate, Mare Barrow.’

‘And that is?’

‘To rise. And rise alone.’ It echoes like the howl of a wolf. ‘I see you as you could become, no longer the lightning, but the storm. The storm that will swallow the world entire.’” (page 306)

When they arrive at the first place, they find a girl, Cameron Cole. She is a Newblood who can silence abilities and senses (causing someone to go completely blind/deaf/etc.). She refuses to help the Guard because she says she has to save her brother from The Choke. Mare tells Shade to grab her and he jumps Cameron onto the jet. 

They return to camp and ask for volunteers for the mission to save Julian and the others from the Silver prison. Kilorn volunteers and starts talking to Mare again.

“He [Kilorn] knows Mare as no one else does, as I know the Fisher boy Kilorn. But those people are gone. Those people must be gone. They cannot survive in a world like this. I need to be someone else, someone who doesn’t rely on anything but her own strength. He makes it too easy to slip back into Mare, and forget the person I need to be.” (page 336)

Cal gets upset because he thinks the mission is impossible. He worries Maven will be there and Mare says she will kill him if Cal can’t do it. They both miss him but agree that he’s not who they thought. Cal kisses Mare again.

“But I am only one person, one little girl who can no longer smile. I hide her from the rest, behind my mask of lightning. But she remains, frantic, wide-eyed, afraid. I push her away in every waking moment, but still she haunts me. She never leaves.” (page 337)

They arrive at the prison with Nanny disguised as Maven. They get in the front doors but then the Silvers get suspicious and they have to fight. When they get inside where the cells are, Mare tells everyone in the cells to fight and follow them as best they can.

Elara is at the prison and is fighting Mare. Shade jumps everyone one by one onto the jet but when he comes back for Mare he accidentally jumps right into a spear just thrown by Ptolemus Samos. Shade dies. Mare black out and wakes up on the plane.

Mare finds two bodies on the plane: Shade and Elara. Mare must have killed her with uncontrollable emotional lightning after Shade died. Cal pulls Mare aside and talks to her.

“’She [Elara] wanted to turn you into a monster.’ He [Cal] nods toward the door, and the twisted body behind it. ‘I’m just trying to make sure that doesn't happen.’ (page 394) 

‘Every single thing I did, you stood behind me,’ I say. ‘If I’m turning into a monster, then so are you.’

He drops his gaze. ‘Love blinds.’

‘If this is your idea of love - ‘

‘I don’t know if you love anyone at all,’ he snaps, ‘if you see anything out there but tools and weapons. People to manipulate and control, to sacrifice.’” (page 395)

Mare demands that Cal flies them back to the Scarlet Guard base to the Colonel. At Tuck Mare broadcasts an announcement that Elara is dead and that they destroyed a secret prison where Silvers and Reds were being held. She asks everyone to join the fight against Maven.

The Colonel takes Mare to meet two men from another country, Montfort, who offer the Newbloods (they call them Ardents) a safe place to live if Mare agrees to fight and lead their army. Mare declines. After Julian gives Mare a pep talk he encourages her to go see her family. She tells them that she is going to the Choke to save the young soldiers. 

“’No one is born evil, just like no one is born alone. They become that way, through choice and circumstance. The latter you cannot control, but the former...Mare, I am very afraid for you. Things have been done to you, things no person should suffer. You’ve seen horrible things, done horrible things, and they will change you. I’m so afraid for what you could be, if given the wrong chance.’” (Julian, page 412)

Mare gathers a team to go to the Choke including Cal, Kilorn and her brothers. They take off on the jet but then it starts falling and transforms into a cage. She realizes it’s Maven (and Magnetrons transforming the jet). Mare surrenders herself in exchange for the others’ safety and freedom. 

Maven keeps Mare prisoner - using chains and the sounder to keep her unconscious and in pain. When he wakes her up, he puts her in front of a crowd and puts a leash around her neck and forces her to kneel before him.

“I have been running for so long. Since before all this even started. Even back in the Stilts, I was a runner. Avoiding my family, my fate, anything I didn’t want to feel. And I am still racing now. From those who would kill me - and those who would love me. I want so badly to stop. I want to stand still without killing myself or someone else. But that is not possible. I must keep going, I must hurt myself to save myself, hurt other to save others. Hurt Kilorn, hurt Cal, hurt Shade and Farley and Nix and everyone stupid enough to follow me. I’m making them runners too.” (page 249)

Overall opinion: - Fave - Like it - Okay - Not for Me -