#Dat Spooky Shit

[macabregoddess]

Got Shoko a spooky tunnel.🎃

She seems to really like it.😂🖤

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[douceurrrr]

I love your writing!!! Wondering if you could do a fuckshit fic/blurb. Maybe braiding his hair or him helping on wash day? 🤔 Hope you enjoy spooky season <3

Yesss, sorry i missed this!

-

You sighed as she watches the curly-headed boy act a fool on his skateboard, doing flips and tricks, making his messy hair bounce around. You could tell he was getting tired since it was hot outside and his baggy tee was getting soaked with sweat. You watch as the boy stops flipping around and makes his way up you. Each step he took made your nose winch up by his sweaty smell. “what chu lookin like that for, ma?” fuckshit says, taking in your facial expressions.

you rolled you eyes before speaking. “um, your smell like shit, fuckshit.” you smirked, obviously teasing him. he just kissed his teeth. “you don’t be saying all that when I’m sweating after I get done blowing dat back out.” he mumbled underneath his breath.

“ what chu say boy?” you spat, looking over at fuckshit, who was smiling. you shook it off and made you way to your bedroom but was stopped by the hand that belonged to you boyfriend. “you ain’t gon braid my hair, ma?” damn, you forgot you was going to braid his. It’s not that you didn’t want to braid his hair, it just takes a lot of time, but anything for your boo. “oh shit, yeah I will just let me grab my stuff.” you replied, giving fuckshit the green light to go find somewhere to sit. Fuckshit never admits it but he loves when you do his hair, you got that special touch.

You grab everything you need from ties to gels, and walked back into the living room to see fuckshit sitting on the floor where you usually do his hair. You sat all of the products on the table and sat behind fuckshit, with him between your legs. “ou boy, you need to take a shower after this.” you exclaimed, waving your hand in front of your face.

Fuckshit kissed his teeth once again. “girl, you trippin. it ain’t that bad.” he says shaking his head. You ignored him and proceeded to do his hair. You did everything you usually do, spray his hair, part it, gel it, then braid it. Once you were done you hand fuckshit a mirror. “got me looking good, thanks, ma.” he says, turning around and leaned in but you stopped him. “shower first, then we can getting to the good part.” you smiled.

fuckshit scoffed then got up to go to the bathroom, annoyed but loved as always.

[aravas-writing]

How did you feel about the Old Tales event in Nikke, because HOLY SHIT, never have i been so absolutely fucking pissed at someone other than Crow.

Right, so

I was curious from the get-go, even if I hadn't reached the point in the main story where Cinderella appears.

The reveal of there being a second generation was implied in Red Ash, but honestly it was great

Designs were awesome. Red Shoes is a thicc bitch, Siren was lovely and...

Let's be real, Hansel and Gretel activate the neurons of anyone who is into shortstacks. One of them is wearing a Ranzen, for crying out loud.

The moment of Cinderella being corrupted, while a foregone conclusion, was still horrifying. The sheer mercilessness and brutality was depicted really well.

Of course, the over world spoilers the reveal of red shoes a little bit. There is a spot whereupon Cinderella comments "red shoes...how could you" which definitely alluded to something she did

Cue the second part of the story and we find out. Apart from red shoes being smashed in the pic, which is very ominous foreshadowing, we find out she was, in fact, the one to corrupt Cinderella.

Her reasoning being a warped ideal of coexistence is freaky and strange, but not entirely unfamiliar in concept. the result of her fascination being her deliberately causing the modification of the corruption code makes her the woman behind a lot of suffering.

I can fix her

Anyhow, I don't believe she's dead because her head remained intact and her shoes acted autonomously. Coincidentally, this brings to mind the fairytale she was inspired by.

It had a very grim end, as the girl who owned the red shoes in the tale ended up dancing to death. Fitting, in a way. Extra spooky is the fact that the shoes audibly kept moving within her coffin...

Anyhow, Cinderella being the reason that the Raptures couldn't finish humanity off by causing the queen lasting damage and wrecking the space station was beyond hype. And oh my good god, the reveal of the Queen!

What dat mouf do

So yeah, awesome event, wrecked my heart, amazing work shift up, thanks for getting us a visibly muscular Nikke.

Fun fact: the Minigame of this event was my very first Metroidvania.

[commander-snacks]

and here comes our next spooky set by DJ Da Shit Dat Goes Bump In Da Nite (everyone at the rave starts screaming and wailing)

[dinomites]

Ooooh, who dat sea monster guy?

His name is Sebastian! And is from a robl/ox game I decided to cave my curiosity on. The game is called Pressure and if you're familiar with other robl/ox games it plays like Doors in a way.

If I could explain this a nonrob/lox game I think the closest would be Spooky's House of Jumpscares.

Anyway, Sebastian here used to be human but was experimented on to give humans fish-like gills to allow them to breathe underwater, experimenting with various DNA samples of deep sea creatures. While the experiment gave him gills, you can see how he looks now.

Funny enough, he's also voiced by Gabriel ULTRAK/ILL.

RN; I currently see him as a lil shit. Who would bully me if I forget to go in a locker is the anglerfish is rushing down the hall. & be mean to me because i bought a flashlight at the start

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

ft: the meme I made to describe my brain trying to cook while my friend was over, and the resulting pork wellington that came out exceptional.

09.13.24 - I do love getting to work from home on Fridays. I rolled a 13 for my shirt today, ironically enough, and the chosen graphic tee was one of my The Crow ones so I even get to be goth & spooky!

Fuck having one aesthetic or style lol.

Work - Um well, I'm remote, and I finished all that scanning, and I didn't leave myself any efiles so...nothing. I have a couple of press releases to read but that's not required. I'll have to answer any emails that come in; SJC has to give video files in a case to opposing council but the correctional facility that sent the videos couldn't be normal and send like mp4 files or something no. I get bup, and dat, and ifp and like all the file types one specifically need VLC to open - which I don't automatically have on the work comp; that's one of those programs IT has to greenlight for you. I'll probably get emails about that but SJC is also in the middle of depos so her responses will be sporadic at a minimum.

Background Noise - I am remote working so I will be watching fun DVR stuff today; I do have plenty of podcasts going over old shit I'm familiar with that I can have on mute while I do that to try and work down my Watch Later list on YT. Speaking of YT, I did two dozen (24) videos yesterday, one of which was an almost 3 hr stream and another that was nearly 2 hrs.

Study - Friday is Wikipedia day and boy do I have a bunch of articles I can read between doing my chores and whatever else around here.

I read a couple chapters of my new book yesterday, plus like ten articles I was able to get around the paywall to read. I feel accomplished.

Extras - Friday means I clean the catbox out and prep it for the weekend; I'm also going to get in the kitchen and clean a few appliances, the backsplash, the hood & the spice cabinet. I'm making fish with a butternut squash risotto for dinner; I had a friend over yesterday (plus a Thurs night football game) so I didn't get as far in Shinkenger as I wanted. I did get through the movie/special and an episode so I have five left until I finish the series. That's two and a half hours. Then Garo over the weekend (should finish that) and Kung Fu Panda 3. The mini-essay turned into a full essay but it's already finished; I may work on another long ass essay while I'm working and then Idk. Maybe coloring, maybe writing a fic, whatever takes my fancy.

[moonbunnie7]

It’s fucking spooky season stop it with the Xmas shit even tho I am born and Xmas and I genuinely love that holiday fr fr it’s special but ITS FUCKING OCTOBER I feel like everyone is rushing towards r the end of the year bc they can’t cope and they want a holiday to save them. I know that’s a complete assumption but idk I’m just in my angry impatient Scorpio season energy type shit n dats dat

[christinedaaeunofficial]

I posted 13,049 times in 2022

That's 6,382 more posts than 2021!

95 posts created (1%)

12,954 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hairynoodlelegs

@teophan

@dat-soldier

@doubleca5t

@apocalypse-tights

I tagged 1,525 of my posts in 2022

#spookycore - 278 posts

#💖🌹posting - 69 posts

#screamlaugh - 62 posts

#spooky speaks - 55 posts

#yeah - 48 posts

#ask spooky - 34 posts

#rouxlscore - 29 posts

#spooky sulks - 13 posts

#bump - 12 posts

#me - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this blog? sipping a horrible mix of baja blast and mikes hard lemonade while listening to bela lugosi's dead and making shit jokes at each

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

moonlight sonata's 3rd movement is the fucking piece EVER. the urgency... the drama... the abject beauty in the stark contrast it plays to the melancholy of the 1st movement... to the cheery disposition of its 2nd movement... it hits the ground running, speeding off toward a nameless something... and it does so with impassioned gusto

its such a showstopper piece im gonna foam at the mouth holy FUCK

48 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#4

morbius, dorbius, orbius, go eat some worbruses, orbifices porrbidges, morbius morbius, going to the morbuffet and worbruses confidence, corbiusseses, worbcestershire sauce, go into your morbifices, red blood, blue blood, morbius worbruses, seashells by the seashorbius

morbius drinking a blue blood bag in a death basket! auwgh

59 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

weird fish makes the chemicals in my brain go brrrrrrrrr

130 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

nubert?!? :D

MY MAN

edit: g. guys i understand ur love for nubert but this same art is posted on my art blog sjslsjwldjslshd

nubert be with ye tho 😌💕

359 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

what i hate most about fatphobic society is how fat people as a whole are so neutered by fatphobic institutions and depersonalized to the point of being subhuman. to the point where we get almost... denied from gender.

fat people are not permitted to exist in the same way as thin people do. fat people are expected to overperform their gender to have even a chance at being perceived as that gender in a way that is not outright ridiculed. and if we do not, if we dare be gender nonconforming, or not be overly cautious in how we present ourselves at every moment of every day, or dare to even enjoy our bodies as they are with no intent to change it to please others we are EXEMPT from gender.

fat women will never get to be women. they will always be fat women. and same with men. and same with every gender beyond the binary.we are instead treated as... monsters. horrifying melted flesh beings in the facades of men and women and nonbinary persons. as if we are but a mere mockery of what we "intend" to mimic.

i grow... increasingly tired of it. day in and day out, i ache to be acknowledged as myself, a human being. i can pretend to love basking in the comfort of sharp fangs and claws and terrifying others with my very existence but it is an exceedingly thin comfort at best when compared to the warmth of being so readily accepted and tended to for being born "correctly."

i want to be a nonbinary person that is allowed to be beautiful in pajamas and messy bedhead hair and all sweaty after a run like the thin folks do. i want to not obsessively check every reflective surface i can to make sure i look presentable while fat because if i don't, i'm just a fucking joke waiting to happen. i want to never again feel like i have to preen my damndest for scraps of recognition.

i want to exist freely.

371 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[macabregoddess]

My neon skull wall light.💀💜

[glowstickia]

Tag Game of Fanfic Tropes

Tagged by @its-sixxers. Thank :3

Rules: bold which trope you prefer (or, in some cases, hate the least!) out of each of the following pairs.

slowburn or love at first sight

fake dating or secret dating

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence

hurt/comfort or amnesia

fantasy au or modern au

mutual pining or domestic bliss

smut or fluff

canon-compliant or fix-it

reincarnation or character death

one-shot or multi-chapter

kid fic or road trip fic

arranged marriage or accidental marriage

high school romance or middle-aged romance

time travel or isolated together

neighbors or roommates

sci-fi au or magic au

body swap or genderbend

angst or crack

apocalyptic or mundane

Tagging: @saintdeanthomas @luke-fone-fabre @kineticallyanywhere @allislaughter @panconkiwi AND IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND YOU WANNA DO IT DO IT! Tag me so I can see :3c

[autumn-pumpkin-tea]

🎃💀👻🕸

[hisatonement]

Waiting for Ghosts

“Old opera house investigation start. No signs of any spiritual activity yet but I can confirm the foyer to be spooky as fuck, I repeat, spooky as fuck.”

He yawns and clicks off the Dictaphone, flashing the light of his torch across the grand staircase and dusty chandeliers. He sighs and dumps his duffel bag, rummaging through to find his EMF meter and murmuring “I’m too old for this shit...” despite being twenty-seven. Although he was far less sprightly as when he started this ‘career’ five years ago.

Click. “EMF readings normal, temperature three degrees celcius which is normal for this time of year.” Click. “Alright ghosts. Come at me.”

[batmenstrualcycle]

In the spirit of spooky season!

Vampire!Maki x Werewolf!Reader: Star-cross lovers or just the two butting heads with one another while undeniably falling in love with each other.

Or

Vampire!Maki x Human!Reader: Maki is in need of some blood and Reader will be happy to offer some for a friend in need.

OOP OOP OOP OOP

THESE ARE BOTH GOOD IDEAS OMG TYSM ANON<33333

im rlly into the whole vampire maki and werewolf ykw im sayin??😏but also imagine reader WILLINGLY letting maki drink ur blood from ur thigh/neck 😻

shit i might do dat👀

..

fair warning: MAYBE SLIGHT mentions of nsfw idk just a tiny bit of nudity here (if u squint hard enough loll) :///, blood, and i think thats it lol, also some cursing, also mentions of reader liking pain and idk if i should classify that as masochism cuz there isnt REALLY any sex going on, but it IS suggested by the reader so idk lol

Vampire! Maki Zenin x Human! Reader-

Blood lust

Her patience was growing thinner and thinner with each passing second, like a child dancing on thin ice; bound to fall through the icy water which felt like a thousand knives stabbing you all around. Figuratively speaking, of course...

She hated that she had to act like a "normal person" around everyone else. She wished that humans didn't either believe vampires were real (even worse, believed they were real as a joke), or did believe they were real, and were against their existence. It drove her insane.

Her hunger was unimaginable to any homeless person. She'd lost count since she'd had deer's blood or cat. She was growing restless, there were a few times today where she'd almost slipped up about who she was in front of everybody at school today. She hated it.

And tonight, would be the night that she'd finally quench her thirst for human blood. The only thing that would satisfy her lust for blood, something much better than any animal had to offer.

...

Her cold breath ran across the skin of your thigh as she held them close to her face. The feeling of the ice cold breath against your skin made your own breath hitch, your chest fluttering up and down while a smile stretched itself across your face.

"Are you gonna do it? Or are you waiting for verbal human approval?" The words rolled off your tongue, as you'd been sitting here for the past five, or maybe 8 minutes while Maki had been sitting here, pondering on if she should take advantage of you like this. You were willing to give your blood (not to mention your own body as well) to her, so why is she hesitating? Is it because she's afraid of what it might do to your friendship? Or is she afraid that she'd go out of control and drink it all in one go?

"...Give me a minute. It's been a while since I've had human blood, moron" She mumbled before zooming in on your thigh, which smelled so amazing to her, she couldn't understand why she'd been waiting so long before this night.

You scoffed then chuckled, "You're just biting my thigh and drinking my blood from it, doesn't sound that difficult" Of course it didn't, not to you at least. You never knew how frustrating it was for Maki to be surrounded by humans and not being able to feed off of them until she was fat-bellied full.

She wrenched open her jaw and involuntarily sunk her teeth into your thigh, earning an embarrassingly high pitched moan from you. Her eyes blew open at the taste of your blood flooding her throat, her lips suction cupped themselves onto your thigh and drank more of your blood.

You don't know why, but the feeling of her mouth on your thigh made you feel a different kind of pleasure, more than what you'd normally get during those days.

Your moans turned to screams of pleasure as Maki kept sucking you dry of your blood, not once getting up to let you breathe for even a split second.

You reached your hand down to her silky green hair and pulled her up, leaving blood trailing down both sides of her mouth. She glanced over at you, who was breathless and grinning with a flushed face.

She swallowed the mouthful of blood before climbing up to reach your face. Your own blood dripped from her chin down onto your face as you wrapped your arms around her neck.

"Why did that feel good to you?"

"It just did"

You sighed blissfully as she traced her thumb down on the spot where she'd been feeding. She slightly frowned at your facial expression.

"Maki"

"Yes?"

You let out another sigh as her hand trailed up your leg and close to your core.

"Mark me. Make me yours, Maki, please"

She huffed as she slowly moved down to your pulsing neck, which was practically begging for her to sink her teeth into. Your hand snaked up and you laced your fingers through her hair.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive"

And that was all she needed, as she sunk her teeth into your neck and began drinking like her life depended on it, earning a high pitched scream from you.

That's what you get when you offer yourself to a vampire, y'know.

..

OOOOOPP

this turned out better than i expected but when i go back and read this, it might turn to shit but idgaf AAAEEAHH🤖

words: idk lol

TYSM ANON<333

hope u enjoyed! ily!! have a good night/day and stay safee!

-sincerely, lovelymaki

[loveoaths]

@ramenthings​ sent:  Plots please 🤪

oooooh, several ideas off the top of my head:

naruto & utakata. 

naruto’s canon time-skip verse:   after much cajoling and, let’s face it, blackmailing, naruto “convinces” utakata to stop being a lay-about-bum and teach him about the jinchuuriki-bijuu connection. utakata would have a second chance at mentoring someone after his utter failure with hotaru, and through much trial and error utakata just might change his mind about mentors being inherently harmful. naruto gets to connect with another jinchuuriki aside from gaara and learn more of the harsh realities of shinobi villages that aren’t konoha, and utakata gets to experience kinship and the first taste of redemption. 

naruto’s blank period/other time period: the ancient relic utakata is studying activates and forces utakata and naruto to be within 12 feet of each other until they can find the relic’s other half and disable it. this prompts them to go on a road trip across the elemental nations to get rid of each other, because let’s face, they would fucking hate each other for the first month of knowing each other. however, depending on the time period this takes place in, they’re likely both unsatisfied with what their lives have become, and this roadship of necessity becomes an existential journey as they externalize their past traumas and problems in new adventures and come to terms with what they want out of life. in essence, this is an odd couple broadship comedy.

naruto’s detective verse: detective “kurama” is hired to investigate a shady new corporation dominating a major city,but his investigation is thrown into an entirely new direction when he meets utakata, the corporation’s heir apparent, who agrees to help "kurama” take down the corporation and all of its allies, on one condition: he has to kill utakata first.

naruto & jashin.

cringe but make it fashion: remember those dark!naruto fics that were everywhere in 2007? this is that, but less cringe-inducing. jashin, god of merciful love ( and devastation ) attempts to court a young naruto into their fold. this goes about as well as you might expect, but you can’t blame an ancient god for trying, right?

naruto & yugito.

naruto’s canon genin timeline:  after the failed mission to kidnap hinata, yugito kidnaps young naruto and whisks him away to kumogakure, where he is raised as a kumogakure shinobi. this is a very wolf and cub plotline... tigress and kit.

naruto & haku.

post-LOW mission:  after haku’s death, their undead spirit haunts him and potentially attempts to radicalize him so he makes good on his “gonna change the shinobi system!” efforts. this is less of a plot and more of fun ask fodder.

no-massacre au:  the yuki tribes escaped most of the civil war massacres, so haku and naruto meet when the yuki tribe crashes the chuunin exams and enters their squadrons. haku, the future leader of the main tribe, could not care less about the exams, and is instead here to warn naruto about dangerous prophetic visions the tribe’s oracle had about him. naruto gets to learn a lot more about chakra, demons, and spooky shit than he does in canon. ( this heavily involves my yuki tribe headcanons but i promise they’re fun and traumatic! :] )

konoha-bound au:  naruto helps haku adjust to konoha life and maybe-just-maybe lets them move into his apartment until they can find a place. haku trains naruto on the side and they become besties.

yukikage and mizukage aus:  no real plots coming to mind atm, just might be fun for these two to hang out when they’re both kages with bratty sons.

honorable mention:  naruto & ryogi.

ryogi’s half uzumaki and it might be fun to hang out. dat’s it!

[deathproof]

Has anyone in slenderverse ever just considered beating the shit out of slenderman grab dat bitch by its spooky halloweener tentacles and go to town