#Darkiplier and Wilford

[melancholypancakes]

The Sandman, Sweetbitter & Markiplier TV Incorrect Quotes (Plus me) (References are from”Thegoodadvicecupcake)

Cats During The Day

Y/n: Aw! So cute! 

Y/n sees Lord Meowpheus sleeping on her bed

Y/n: Precious little angel~ 

Cats at Night

Y/n is trying to sleep but has insomnia. Her eyes are wide open while Meowpheus is running around the room 

Y/n: THIS. CAT. WAS SENT FROM HELL. TO KILL ME. 

Lord Meowpheus purrs and his fur gets in Y/n's face

{...} 

Hob: You're my BFF, right? My ride or die? 

Dream: Always. 

Hob: Ineedyourhelpburyingsomething. Noquestionsasked. 

Dream:...

Dream summons a shovel out of nowhere

Dream: No Questions needed. 

Later, AT 2am 

Dream and Hob digging in the garden at Hob’s work 

Hob is a cinnamon roll and finishes gardening Night-shades flowers 

Hob: perfect! These Night-shade flowers look beautiful here. 

Hob and Dream look at Night-shade flowers in awe 

{...} 

Simone looks at Y/n, she is reading a book 

Simone: Y’know, maybe I should read more like Y/n does. 

Jake: Y/n is so smart though! 

Jake obviously admires Y/n

Jake: I bet her books are far more sophisticated for us.

Simone agrees 

Y/n is reading an erotic novel and blushes red 

Y/n: He does WHAT, To her WHERE?!

{...} 

Aphrodite: Oh, Oneiros….You’re so hard on yourself. 

Aphrodite: You deserve kindness and patience…

Morpheus is brooding and moping 

Aphrodite: Try speaking to yourself, as if you were your own friend! 

Aphrodite holds Morpheus's hand as he nods and looks at the lake

Morpheus: You…DUMB. HOE. 

Aphrodite: Regular friend. Not best friend. 

{...} 

At the beginning of everything when Morpheus and Desire are young 

Morpheus: Mom, who’s your favorite child? 

Desire: It’s me, isn’t it~

Night: Oh Boys, I love you both equally~ 

Night: Goodnight, my sweet Dream~ 

Night kisses Dream’s head 

          Night: Goodnight, My…Ughhh… 

Desire looks at his mom in confusion and Night looks back at him 

Night: Other one. 

Desire in pure shock as Dream has a smug look on his face 

                          {...} 

Witch! Y/n and Morpheus on their first date 

Witch! Y/n talking a lot and fast

Witch! Y/n: Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah 

Morpheus smiles and drinks tea 

Witch! Y/n stops talking and stares at Morpheus

Witch! Y/n: Oh sorry… 

Morpheus: ? 

Witch! Y/n: I talk a lot…

Witch! Y/n looks away sad and embarrassed 

Morpheus slams his hands on the table and the tea falls on the table while Y/n is in shock

Morpheus: Don’t stop! It’s easier to listen… 

Morpheus gives a small smile at Y/n while holding his hand out for her and she takes it

Witch! Y/n:... 

Witch! Y/n smiles and looks at Morpheus

Witch! Y/n: And so, I was like blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah 

{...} 

Morpheus and Nymph! Y/n laying in bed together 

Nymph! Y/n: I never want to leave your arms~ 

Morpheus shocked

Morpheus: really?... 

Nymph! Y/n: Of course! 

Nymph! Y/n smiles sweetly at Morpheus 

Morpheus tears up

Nymph! Y/n: Oh…Dream, I love you!

Nymph! Y/n hugs Morpheus 

Morpheus's right arm underneath Nymph! Y/n back and his arm grows dead tired 

Morpheus: I love you too…. 

{...} 

Y/n and Wilford sitting on a bench 

Ruthanne: I could’ve come up with lots of reasons not to do it…

Ruthanne: But I was just scared. so I did it anyways!

Wilford points a finger up as Ruthanne waits and suddenly Wilford appears with balloons in the air 

Ruthanne is in awe as she is given a golden medal from Wilford that said “Did it anyways!” 

Ruthanne standing on #1 place as a parade underneath her 

Ruthanne looks up to see a sign in the sky from an airplane saying “Did it anyways” 

Ruthanne smiles as she is immediately in a big hug from Wilford 

Wilford: I’m so f*cking proud of you!!! 

{...} 

Alice attends to Wilford tea party

Wilford: Alice! 

Wilford waves at Alice to come over to the table 

Wilford: Welcome to my cute b*tches only tea party! 

Alice is amazed 

Wilfrord: Please, sit down. 

Wilford says as Alice sits down, being served tea 

Alice: Wilford, this is easily one of the best ideas you’ve ever had. 

Alice holds a filled tea cup close 

Alice: I can’t wait to- 

Alice smells a disgusting smell 

Wilford begins to grow worried 

Wilford: What…what is it? 

Alice:...Your teacup. it smells…like FISH 

Wilford is in shock 

Wilford: WHAT?? NO WAY!!! 

Wilford grabs a teacup and smells it, his face is in disgust

Wilford throws it away

Alice is worried

Wilford: How did this happen?!

Dark comes in, drinking his black coffee 

Dark: We did cook salmon last week. 

Wilford looks at Dark and garbs his face 

Wilford: BUT THAT WAS LAST WEEK!!! 

Alice is confused 

Alice: you don’t clean your dishwasher? 

Wilford is in shock as he did not know that and Alice faints on the floor

Wilford comes to her side as she lies there

Alice: You have to clean it with…

Alice looks at Wilford weakly 

Alice: Affresh tablets! 

Alice pretends to be dead for dramatic effect 

Wilford gasp before she opens her left eye

Alice: Also, your shirt stinks. Clean your laundry machine too. 

Alice pretends to be dead for dramatic effect again 

Wilford is sitting there in shock before he screams

Wilford: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

{...}

Desire: Let’s start a new trend, where we don’t get embarrassed for being ourselves. 

Desire: And you Motherf*ckers that like making people embarrassed for being themselves. 

Desire: Mind your F*cking business and go fill out for a job on “Indeed”! 

Desire: Oh better yet, go to counseling and stop ruining our lives. We get IT. You don’t like yourself. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. 

{...} 

Aphrodite when she finds out her sexuality 

Aphrodite spins the wheel of sexuality

Arrow points to “Bisexual” 

Aphrodite: Awesome! 

Aphrodite looks at the fates 

Aphrodite: Does this mean I get double chances in a relationship? 

Fates:...

Aphrodite:...

Aphrodite looks at them with hopeful eyes 

Fates: More like more chances to be ALL BI- yourself!

GODS and Nymphs start laughing 

Aphrodite looks at the fates and walks away

{...} 

Desire: I’m Desire, I go by They/Them. 

Aphrodite: I’m Aphrodite, I go by She/her! 

Aphrodite: And if you don’t respect us using our pronouns…

Aphrodite gets all scary 

Aphrodite: You’ll be a were/was. 

{...} 

Witch! Y/n: Sometimes…someone does something that makes you MAD. 

Morpheus: Y/n…I spilled water on your spellbook…And then I dropped it, aaaaand then I accidentally set it on fire…I’m sorry.

Witch! Y/n:....

Witch! Y/n: And even though, they apologized, you might not be ready to forgive them. And that’s okay! 

Witch! Y/n: Because It’s important to process emotions! 

Witch! Y/n looks at Morpheus, crosses her arms, and looks away

Witch! Y/n: Hmph! 

Day and night pass by 

Next Day

Morpheus: Are you still mad- 

Witch! Y/n: DON’T TALK TO ME YET!!!

Morpheus is just shock 

Day and Night pass again

Morning

Witch! Y/n: Okay, I’m over it. 

Morpheus smiles and they both hug

Morpheus: Oh, I also may have…hurt Lucienne’s feelings. 

Witch! Y/n twitches in anger

Witch! Y/n: DREAM!!!

{...} 

Narrator: She’s a 10, but… 

Melancholypancakes pinning for Morpheus 

Narrator: she loves fictional characters more than you. 

{...}

Witch! Y/n stuck between people on a train

*Witch! Y/n sighs*

Witch! Y/n: whenever life feels too hectic, I like to put on my headphones… 

Witch! Y/n: just listen to something soothing…and let it all melt away~ 

Witch! Y/n puts headphones on and plays HEAVY METAL 

Witch! Y/n: SO. RELAXING! 

{...} 

Co-worker: What do you have plan for your day off Melancholypancakes? 

Melancholypancakes: Nothing. 

Co-worker: Aw, I’m sure you can think of something. Maybe a hike, or a concert, or a- 

Melancholypancakes: You don’t understand. The PLAN is NOTHING. 

Melancholypancakes lazy around on the couch

Melancholypancakes: Aww, Yeah…

{...} 

Witch! Y/n returns to the dreaming

Witch! Y/n: There you are, I missed you so much!!!

Morpheus smiles

Morpheus: aw…I missed you to- 

Witch! Y/n runs and hugs Matthew 

Witch! Y/n: My handsome boy~ 

Matthew being “Mr. steal your girl” 

Matthew nuzzling on Witch! Y/n

Witch! Y/n: I love you more than anything in the world!!!

Witch! Y/n: You give me purpose. There is literally nothing. NOTHING. I love as much as you~

Morpheus in shock and jealously 

{...} 

Witch! Y/n eating an apple

Witch! Y/n: What you choose to do…

Witch! Y/n throws the apple aside

                Witch!: Has a big effect on the universe!

          Giant tree grows

Witch! Y/n: you’re like a Wizard~

Witch! Y/n in her black Witch outfit 

Witch! Y/n: So, act like it!!

{...} 

Y/n minding her own business, looking at her phone in the restroom 

Loud banging noises on the restroom door 

Y/n yelps 

Y/n: Uh…Occupied? 

Y/n: Who’s there?? 

More Loud banging noises on the restroom door 

Y/n gets scared

Y/n: Show yourself!!

The door opens and Lord Meowpheus appears 

Lord Meowpheus: Meow!

Lord Meowpheus jumps on Y/n's lap and lays on her

Lord Meowpheus purrs 

Y/n: there’s nooo privacy in this apartment…

{...} 

Young Ophelia shopping with her older brother 

Ophelia sees Louis Sweeton's boots and Leo eyeing her 

Leo: Ophelia. We’re on a budget. 

Ophelia: I NEEEEEEEED IT! 

Leo: C’mon, Ophi. 

Leo drags Ophelia to leave, not dealing with this sh*t 

12am

Leo is still sleeping 

Ophelia wakes up

Ophelia: IT’S TIME. 

Black Friday and everyone is screaming and stealing objects left and right 

Someone looks at the boots but Ophelia grabs them and punches the person in the face 

{...} 

Desire: Wow. You’re so short! Very stubby limbs. You make a nice armrest~ 

Y/n getting offended 

Y/n: Hmph! 

Desire: Why are you getting mad~ I’m just saying how I want to put you on my dashboard like an itty bitty, dainty little toy~ 

Y/n: I’LL DESTROY YOU! AHH! 

Y/n starts beating the sh*t out of Desire while he screams for his sister 

Death: Never ever. Insult a short person's height. 

Death gets scared

Death: They’re Vicious….

{...} 

Kindergarten 

Teacher: Okay, class I’m going to need some STRONG boys to help carry these chairs~ 

Little Ophelia carrying all chairs 

Little Ophelia: F*ck the patriarchy!!!

[alcordraws]

Other people typcasting mark: the saddest, wettest, most tired looking Guy you've ever seen

Mark typcasting himself: incredibly unhinged terrible little entity fueled by the power of Fuck You

[squinkoblinko]

funny post for all 7 of the wkm fans still out there

original image snork Zz snork zzzzz

[rebar2042]

bad guys

[smiledog15578]

Alice human sacrifice is such a good vocaloid song and it fits wkm so well!!! I hope everyone remembers this song cause its a banger

[riceflourapom]

31 endings later

happy 5 years to a heist with markiplier

[kingofmeatballs]

They're not a morning person

[erexart]

Idk if i posted these here or not, these are from last year

[rivtictics]

I'm cooking angst for y'all

[colatine]

*talk talk talk*

[damsellete-koko]

He's so fucking stupid

[melancholypancakes]

This scene makes me laugh no matter how many times I rewatch it XD

Definitely Wilford would say this about Actor! mark 😂😂☠️☠️☠️

Dark: Exactly how long do you think you’ve been down here?

*Wilford playing a board game with Alice *

Wilford: I dunno a couple of days?

Dark: Oh, Wilford, Wilford, Wilford.

*Dark kneels down, places his hand on Wilford’s shoulder and Wilford looks at him*

Dark: It may feel like that, but it’s actually been 80 years.

*Dark pretends to be sad*

Dark: And I’m afraid by now your dear brother Mark is DEAD.

*Dark wickedly grins*

Wilford: Great, so he’s here then!

*Dark frowns*

Dark: What? No, he’s dead.

Dark: But he’s not here. He’s…

*Dark points up*

*Dark pretends to be sad and Wilford looks at him suspiciously*

Wilford: Nope. Not buying it.

*Wilford goes back to playing the board game*

*Dark is baffled and stands up*

Dark: What?! Oh! Not buying it?

*Alice moves her character 3 spaces up while Wilford turns to Dark*

Wilford: Listen. I know my brother, and if he’s not down here, then he’s not dead, which means he’s coming to save me!

[luluisoff]

[disheartened-felicity]

They live rent free in my mind (literally)

[Click for better quality (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ ]

[rebar2042]

doodles

[smiledog15578]

Wilford and his big thigh slapper (sorry)