#Dark mind is a Awful strategist and a Awful ally and a awful… at everything but fighting

[dark-mega]

Necrodeus

But since I saw someone else do this I’ll also Rank them

N1.Necrodeus:first is how he went to the kill when the puff ball was alone and almost sleep, almost killed Kirby, took all precautions possible, controlled the animals or the island, hired some others and even gave some of he’s powers to someone easy to manipulate to keep a eye on the islands meanwhile he’s right hand commanded the skully’s, filled the islands with undead creatures to KILL kirby, makes a tower for he’s soldiers to stay in, put giant patrols around the islands, put a giant dark shield around he’s “kingdom” forcing Kirby to do a DK 64 and 100% the main game to fight him and even then he shield himself on other 4 stronger bosses and then swallowed the staff to prevent kirby from winning, All of that without mentioning how he possibly Brought dedede to the popopo islands to attack kirby by surprise. Some even theorize he survived since the time line with Triple deluxe does not make up if Necrodeus dies in mass attack with the Magolor portrait, Joronia turning into sectonia, the mirror getting taken and the sun stones. And if this is true then he knows when to retreat

N2.Zero:this thing has s able to throw millions of dark matters under the bus to keep he’s cover, he went for pop star but underestimated the planet and kirby, however Zero two did well leaving Kirby alone (like necrodeus) search to destroy something able to kill them (The Crystal) and staying in the shadows so when Kirby leaves he could have the crystal and continue everything he did even better then he started, pretty smart but too bad he couldn’t end the job. Smart but he’s debut didn’t show much of that brilliance

N3.Nightmare:he’s dumb, we don’t actually know if the fountain was actually he’s plan or if he’s formation was what caused it (something he did unconsciously) and if it was he’s plan then it also means he didn’t thought he would get trapped inside the fountain. Then there’s Kirby clash, parallel nightmare at the start does a smart thing by staying partially in the shadows but quickly reveals himself and gets defeated which is just one of he’s many stupid mistakes like

•trusting king D-mind even if he’s well known for betraying he’s Allie’s for no reason (if super Kirby clash is a sequel of the original which I think it is)

•fighting Kirby over and over again without a plan (you can’t just head into Kirby and hope it’ll won’t be worse the next try)

•summon galacta knight (the idea itself is stupid)

With the last one also causing he’s ultimate demise, then there’s the anime and despite being a good CEO he’s also a awful strategist. The only reason he won the war was by how Overpowered and inmortal he was, but he makes dumb choice after dumb choice, with him not going to personally kill the possible traitor demon beast which could have been either Kirby or meta knight but either way not getting rid of it when it had the chance and has quickly has possible was stupid, he’s even the main reason Kirby gets many of he’s Allie’s during he’s adventure (sirica, knuckle joe and even dedede which nightmare attacked for no reason) every choice he makes is basically him being so spoiled he sees everything has a game till he dies. I theorize/head canon every nightmare is the same entity (maybe not anime) with Parallel nightmare referencing original nightmare Demise and nightmares already being made of bad things just like the parallels, that one line about “being inmortal as long theres fear in your heart” in the anime and the original nightmare being “born”/“reborn” from the dream fountain. So probably this guy is too cocky to actually learn from he’s mistakes since he’s inmortal

N4.Dark nebula:he might be a bad final boss, ugly, a coward, weak, not relevant to the lore, stupid, a idiot, dumb and somehow overrated, but he’ll never be smar- wait that wasn’t the point. He at least knew he wasn’t made for this and escaped after possessing the squeaks and then run like a coward after Kirby beat Daroach’s posses butt. A good thing about being a coward is how they (almost) always live to see another day

N5.Dark Mind:every single idea he ever had is stupid

Having Dark meta knight has a right hand man:that knight would have backstabbed any moment he got a chance yet he’s the only ally dark mind hasn’t betrayed, and let’s talk about how uncontrollable dark meta knight is which caused the four Kirby’s (at least necrodeus made Kirby weaker and killable but Dark meta knight made Kirby four times stronger!!!) having dark meta knight at your side is like playing the Russian roulette

Attacking dreamland instead of just ruling the mirror world:you already have a entire dimension at your fingertips yet you choose to attack Kirby which has already slayed the dark matter colony and if Dark mind is really a dark matter then he should know better

Fighting Kirby:dark mind was the one who opened a portal to fight the Kirby’s after they shattered dark meta knight but if he did nothing probably Kirby would have never found him or even known about he’s existence!

Not using shadow Kirby:you have a easy to control void incarnation which is also easy to trick (I think since Kirby isn’t that hard to outsmart either) which misinterpreted the whole thing and is against Kirby which makes it even easier to trick, USE IT! But now he’s helping Kirby to defeat you!

Betrayals everywhere:he betrayed Dark taranza which gave him he’s new form and Parallel nightmare which resurrected him, betraying them actually is worse for him since he won’t be able to revived if all he’s Allie’s are dead! Of all the Allie’s you could have killed you choose to kill the ones that are actually useful yet dark meta knight is just enjoying being alive in the mirror world and sometimes the normal world

[talenlee]

Transformers: The Beasts Without

Amongst the Transformers gestalt teams, there’s a trend of describing these vast, aggregated creatures as being, well, monsters. Yet even winthin the category of ���giant monster sized giant alien transforming robots,’ there are some who get a further description of being monstrous, of being something a little incomprehensible and alien to the existing minds of their allies and cohorts. Now, setting aside the one time the Autobots did this with Volcaninus, about whom I have feelings, these gestalts are typically Decepticons.

Thing is, what makes this particularly weird is that the Decepticons have a bunch of monster gestalts. Not ‘one gestalt who is the monster one,’ but a bunch of times where they put the lore behind the gestalt as ‘behold! the monstrous one!’

Anyway, here are three of those.

A recurring challenge for gestalts is managing the way five minds are made to be physically compatible with one another. Sometimes this evinces a simplified persona, sometimes this creates a new character based around an aggregate of the component minds’ hopes, or dreams. Sometimes, and oh so commonly for Decepticons, it creates a big angry boy who just wants to fight everything. Abominus does that.

Abominus is composed of five transformers, who are themselves all Decepticons who turn into monsters. They include Hun-Gurr, a great strategist who’s overwhelmed by his hunger, Rippersnapper, a softboy who hates himself and turns into a shark with feet (don’t worry, the Decepticons have another of those), Sinnertwin, a sadistic serial killer, Blot, who’s also here with a note from his mum, and Cutthroat, who uh, is kinda just like Sinnertwin but has wings.

In terms of sheer threat, Abominus is the coolest and best one. Abominus is composed of four cool monster transformers and Blot, and the overall aesthetic of the mass of metal (and by metal I mean plastic) is that of a terrible monster man made up of terrible monsters. The guy has dragons for knees, his arms have wings and a horn made of a tail, and the whole overall beast is kind of sleek.

As a toy, Abominus is honestly pretty good. Because he’s made up of a classic scramble-city style critter, he’s got a big central piece and four more streamlined pieces, two of which make better arms and two of which make better legs, but they also let that central piece form a big, solid core. He’s a bit broad-stanced, but it beats some of the other combiners that are a bit ropy based on their size and friction needs. Talking about you, Seacons.

Monstructor is a dark shadow of evil, a fundamental piece of something wrong, something unnatural and in-cybertronian that existed before its pieces were brought together. He is a cruelty that breathes.

He is made up of the stupidest looking transformers in the world, his head is bright yellow and his chest is made of Gold Plastic, meaning that he has a more tangible form of timer on his existence than any of the narrative may imagine. He is also, because he’s made up of Micromasters, roughly the same size as a G1 Hot Rod, who also sucks.

Poor Monstructor is such a cool idea in the high concept way of things. He’s a Lovecraftian monster that a bunch of transformers come together to form into a creature that has a shape into which something much older, more primordial and more mystical than the parts can ever contain. The problem is this concept came along, as with so many things in the history of Transformers, at exactly the right time to not have a good place to land, meaning that Monstructor is made up out of the bodies of the six Pretender Monsters, which are all basically ugly cubes with extrusions that transform into things that you will almost always wind up describing as “<squints> something,” and have memorable names like Icepick. Birdbrain. Bristleback. Scowl. Slog. Wildfly. Snort. I made one of those up. No, it wasn’t Slog.

Cool idea, awful execution. As with so many of these orphan ideas, though, good news, he gets to live on in the comics, in which it doesn’t matter how stupid his crew look.

But Predaking owns a special place in this pantheon in that in the context of the show that was built around these toys, the places where these characters were first ensouled, Predaking both existed (in that he was in the show) and that he set the template the rest of these beasts followed upon.

The first gestalts were simplified idiots, in G1. You had Devastator, the Giant Green Angry Baby, Menasaur who was basically a tantrum throwing simplified monster person, and Bruticus, who included Swindle, was a pure, efficient, soulless killing machine. Of the gestalts the Gen1 decepticons had access to, then, there were three blunt, brutal instruments that needed supervision to be dangerous.

Not Predaking.

No, Predaking doesn’t need instruction. Predaking is exactly that: he’s an unthinking, calculating, stalking predator and he needs no guidance nor demand to engage with his prey. Now, what complicates this description of him is talking about a character who is a stalking, relentless hunter that can track you for days across the limits of your endurance, while ignoring that Predaking is a giant robot the size of a school, and not a you know, sleek predator that has something it can hide in. What I’m saying is, unless you are, yourself, also the size of several busses stacked up on top of one another, the ‘hunt’ part of Predaking’s command pattern doesn’t exactly seem likely to come up and it’s not like he can leap out at you from a stealthy hiding place, because again, he is a giant monster on the scale of one of those American monuments they had to detonate sacred mountains for.

Like, I appreciate the concept of linking together six minds with a common interest in animals and getting an animal intelligence, and the name, Predaking, top notch even if it is a typo away from being a real problem in a chat room. But there’s just a fundamental lacking component of a stalking predator that really scares us (lions, jaguars, all that good stuff) when you put it onto something that’s roughly the size of a moderate town-house with an even more deadly form of rent.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this of course, because this is an ad for toy transforming alien robots. It’s something a lot of science fiction and fantasy writers are trying to do their best job on as a project that is going to engage children and excite them with cool characters. These monsters are meant to be baddies to lose and threats to run from, because that’s how you make stories exciting.

The fact that there are these characters that are made to tap into common ideas (monsters, the monstrous, the unknowable, the predator) that break down a little when they’re giant robots is fine.

But what if we try it again?

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[deiliamedlini]

Whumptober 2021- The Darkness I Know

Chapter 1

Note: So, I decided to do the same thing I did last year, which is to turn the whumptober prompts into one continuous fic! This first chapter heading info up here is a mess! I’ll fix the next post!  Also will be posted on Ao3 (the link will only be on the chapter index page so I don’t keep forgetting to do that). These chapters are typically on the shorter side just because I am writing a chapter daily and haven’t written ahead more than the first two chapters! 

Fic Summary: After the world as she knew it was destroyed by the corruption of Malice, Zelda allies herself with her saviors from captivity: a disgruntled former governor, an alert paramedic, a cocky pilot, an excessively overt optimist, and a blind strategist. While the corrupted, malice-filled Yiga Clan looks for revenge on them, Zelda has to learn how important it is to find family in others... and how much more dangerous the stakes become if she fails to protect them.

No. 1 - ALL TRUSSED UP AND STILL NOWHERE TO GO

“You have to let go” | barbed wire | bound

Chapter Index/ Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you don’t have a ruler?”

“I don’t need one.”

“What are you doing—… no!”

Never had there been a more malicious offence in Zelda’s eyes. Rulers were the key to life: they kept things straight, and they made things balanced. There was equality in every precise and calculated movement, and a delicate hand was required to hold the simple mechanism steady.

So, watching Dorian take the scissors and cut three strands of paper was like cutting straight through the muscle of Zelda’s heart.

“Why would you do that!” she screeched, more an accusation than a question. “Now they’re uneven, and they’re crooked! You’re insane!”

“It’s just a stencil, Zelda. If you want to cut the wood with a ruler, go ahead, but now we have an idea of how much we need.”

“We need to redo that. It’s not accurate.”

“I’ve been doing this since before you were born. It’s accurate enough. I can eyeball it. Do you want to fix the fence today, or no?”

Zelda grabbed their tools off the table and sulked behind Dorian as he left without waiting for her answer.

There were some battles Zelda knew she had to lose to win the war. This was one of them,

The fence was a priority to keep out anything that might have been affected with Malice from entering Mabe Village. There were so few survivors as it was.

Before the Malice had invaded Hyrule, Zelda had thought that her student loans were the biggest problem she’d have to tackle. She’d thought the money she’d spent on an apartment outside Castle Town was worth it, despite being far from her family back in Akkala. She thought there was a bright future waiting for her behind the years she’d spent in academia, trapped behind computers writing term papers and researching and experimenting and playing by others’ rules with the dream of one day making her own.

Then, the Malice spread: a thick purple substance that oozed from a seemingly endless source; a vile smell that reeked of rotting food in a broken refrigerator, and a gaseous haze that followed that made it near impossible to breathe. Worse, it corrupted any who came into direct physical contact with it for too long, and most of those affected were now dead for one reason or another.

She remembered when her car stopped working on the highway as the purple smoke filled the air on that first day four years ago. She’d stayed inside the metal hull, watching in awed horror as it engulfed her in an endless stream of fog. She ducked down below the steering wheel and listened to the crashes of other cars on the road that didn’t manage to slow down before their sight was stolen by it all. The constant ring of a jammed horn had her blocking her ears after too long.

Three days in the car, officially parched and hungry, no one had come for her. No phones worked; no drivers dared leave their vehicles. But it had become too much, and Zelda decided it was worth risking a venture outside, even amidst the lingering smoke. Her tongue was dried out and every breath of air came out in a wheezing hiss. But she’d done it.

The haze had been unpleasant and burned her eyes a fair bit, but when she stumbled into a water cooler that had fallen from a shattered car’s backseat and chugged every drink inside, she found other survivors along the side of the highway doing the same, and they all stayed together until they could reach safety.

Enter Mabe Village, four years later.

Zelda and her group had scavenged on the side of the road for almost a full year before they’d found the refuge. It was safe from the crazed bokoblins who once lived peacefully in their own territories. It had walls to prevent any of the fast-but-grounded lizalfos from scaling over. And each creature came at them with a vengeance, each fueled by contact with the Malice.

For a while, Zelda was the only engineer who could fix the solar panel garden and keep the power running. She developed as many mechanical skills as she could, fixing tools and maintaining the plumbing. She even began to learn carpentry to keep the houses upright.

Then, Dorian came in: someone with far more experience than her to help lighten her load. She slept more with him around, and he was full of energy to work through the nights when Zelda couldn’t.

“Would your mom ever let you do this?” Dorian joked as they made it to the wall and set their tools down.

Zelda, now in her mid-twenties, hadn’t seen her mom in years, but she’d learned everything from her. She thought about the blonde woman with blue eyes who used to sneak Zelda dangerous tools when she was too young to comprehend the danger. The woman who had her daughter assist her with live wires because she needed a third hand. Zelda knew how to hold a soldering pen before holding a real one.

“No,” Zelda snorted, always careful about her mother’s carelessness. “She’d let me watch, but she’d definitely be too worried about my hands.”

“Always the hands,” Dorian repeated with a joking smile.

“Always the hands.”

The two set out to fix a gaping hole in their fence, and while Dorian took the outside, the barbed wire that was laid over the wood planks to discourage any creatures from ramming into it, Zelda took the wooden boards inside.

When they were all in place, Zelda examined some of the old wood, intrigued by a perfect set of bite marks.

“Dorian! Was this Ms. Maple’s dog who did all this damage?”

She turned it over in her hand and set it down with half a mind to stride right over to the only dog owner in Mabe Village, but when she heard silence from the other side of the fence, Zelda stopped herself.

“Dorian?” When it was still silent, Zelda turned and grabbed the closest tool she could reach: a screwdriver. She glanced down to see if there was anything better, but there was only her ruler, a hammer, nails, and a second flathead.

Looking behind her, she tucked the flathead into her belt and gripped the hammer as tightly as she could before heading around the gate to check on Dorian.

He wasn’t there.

There was barely a moment to think that something might have happened to him before she was face first in the grass with a heavy pressure holding her down.

Zelda tried to buck them off of her, but they were too heavy. There was a sound of metal scraping against something, and Zelda let out a muffled scream into the grass, still trying to free herself.

“No, wait! Wait!”

Zelda’s head whipped up and she saw a large group walking towards her, each dressed in red bodysuits with a strange mask concealing their faces. The voice though… the voice was…

“Dorian!” she screamed, trying to move again. “Get help!”

His face contorted, and he bent down in front of her, but his words were addressed to whoever was behind her. “She’s useful. She’s smart, handy, talented. We need her. And she’ll understand why we did this. She smart,” he said again, nodding to her.

The man behind her hesitated. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Positive. I’ve seen her work. I know her.”

A chill shot down Zelda’s spine, and she felt herself tugged upwards until she was sitting on her knees, face-to-face with Dorian in his red suit and a white mask atop his grey hair.

“Fine. Bring her with us. Tie her up.”

“Don’t fight, Zelda. I promise, this is just a precaution.”

She couldn’t help her body from struggling a bit, and she watched Dorian slide his mask into place.

“What’s happening? What’s happening?” Her wrists were tugged hard behind her back, and the rope was frayed enough to cut into her skin a bit.  

Dorian held out his hand, and Zelda, now bound, was handed off. “You’re with the Yiga Clan now.”

And with that, every other member of the group drew out their weapons and headed into Mabe Village while Dorian held Zelda still through her sobs for all the friends she’d never see again.

[thebibliomancer]

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance Tactics liveblog pt 9

Even though I already befriended the Drenchen forever last time, I keep hanging around a swamp because I heard there was a SkekSil hanging around and I wanted to see him in his natural habitat.

Zing.

Now that the Drenchen are my best friends forever (high five, Gurjin!), I have to save them from the Chamberlain doing Chamberlain things.

Mission: Bogged Down - Putrid Banks

"The heroes set out to aid a Drenchen encampment. Rumor has it that the Chamberlain has been causing trouble."

I hope he doesn't have any threaders. Thats too much mind control in one place.

Aw dammit a bunch of hostile Drenchen. I'm always fighting Gelfling! There's not going to be any left to unify after everything at this rate! Short-coming of the narrative, I guess. If it was set later in the timeline, we could fight Garthim and Crystal Bats.

Maybe the sequel should get on that, hint hint?

And there's poisonous swamp water everywhere!

My swamp dream team is Gurjin, Naia, Rek'yr, Hup, and Kylan.

Because they're my lowest levelled but also because Gurjin and Naia are Drenchen and are immune to poison swamp water.

Dammit, the Chamberlain told the Drenchen that my group were fugitives.

Gurjin, you're a prince or something, can't you do something about this?

Apparently not.

But things are going okay. Sure, I can't cross the swamp very effectively except with the pet Nurloc, Naia, and Gurjin but do you know what is very effectively?

Kylan and Naia as a combo. Mark plus Double Strike? Very good. Beating up all the fools/members of her own clan.

AND GURJIN!

I've never used Defeaning Roar before even though its been on his movelist for a while but I love the graphic for it! It creates a blue energy shell around the unit which they bang ineffectually on with their fist! Its like noise proofing, for annoying mages!

Rek'yr, as you might expect from a desert guy, doesn't take well to the swamp. Most of the enemies that have attacked so far have ganged up on him. But he's still holding his own.

I'm very proud of my resistance group.

And then I gang up on the last guy, stack him with conditions, and kick the crap out of him.

Then Gurjin delivers a speech about freeing everyone from the Skeksis' tyranny which everyone is too unconscious to hear.

Its a feel good victory.

EVERYONE LEVELED UP!

Rek'yr learned Evasive (passive +15 evasion), Gurjin learned Tempered Stone (attack up for three turns if critical hit), Hup learned Friendship (he had this all along (ok fine, buffs accuracy and critical chance to adjacent allied beasts)), Naia learned Flurry of Steel (attack and take your next turn sooner), and Kylan learned Aimed Shot (attack a marked enemy for massive damage).

Oops, Kylan got to level 5, so I have to start training him on Mender so he can be a Song Teller, like the prophecy says.

Gurjin and Naia will stay Stone Warden and Paladin respectively. Feels like good symmetry for them.

I'm just going around the wheel with Hup so he needs five more levels in Tamer so he can become a Potion Master.

Rek'yr I'm going to try to make a Grave Dancer because it sounds rad and because he flirts over funerary arrangements. But he's a level 5 thief now so I need to get him to Paladin, which means Soldier. Since I'm making him a fighty guy, I'm giving him the Dousan Axe.

---

Encounter - Putrid Banks - Fight a challenge to test your mettle

Always with the testing my mettle, geez.

Dang the swamp is full of darkened nurlocs and windsifters. This game is doing a slightly better job at making me remember the Darkening is an ongoing concern than the show.

Since encounters help you get more xp, I'm bringing my lowest levelled people Breg, Alyadon, Rian, Brea, and... Rek'yr? You just levelled!

New guy has to play catch-up a lot.

Well. That went well enough. Breg died. Poor Breg.

Rian leveled up so now I can start him on Stone Wardening so I can eventually make him the big-brained strategist of the resistance. And Alyadon levelled up so I can make her a tracker or thief. I forgot what the plan was for her. I don't have a dedicated Mender and she was one of those so maybe time to lean into that?

But if she's going to be in a basic job, I'm giving her nice things. A Dusty Tome so she can attack from afar, an Apprentice's Cloak because I was out of clothes, and a Pouch of Hollerbat Fur.

Decked to the nines.

---

Geez, you never get much money in this game. I feel like a really long time goes by between being able to buy next tier equipment for my party but other than grinding on Encounters (which don't give much) I don't see what I can do.

---

Mission: Creepy-Crawlies - Muddy Shallows

"Hot on the Chamberlain's trail, the heroes are stopped when they encounter an army of Arathim."

Dangit SkekSil!

My party is Breg and Rek'yr, doomed to always be the lowest levelled guys from some reason (its because Rek'yr just joined and Breg keeps dying), Brea and Boggi because a girl and her shouty dog is just classic, and Hup because Hup already knows Friendship.

The spiders talk, which I know they can do from the show but I don't think they've done in the game yet.

Gurjin: "Now he's convinced the Arathim to help him? We have to stop the Chamberlain and his manipulative ways."

Just keep Rian away from him. He's a good kid but way too easily swayed.

"Well this is not going great, what with all the spit but at least nobody as died so f- HUP NOOOOOO"

But despite spending much of the mission with most of my party hovering in low health, Hup is the only one who did die by the end. I'm surprised. Usually my team starts dropping like flies.

It occurs to me that this was a filler mission padding out a filler story arc padding out the show plot by having Chamberlain Up To Something.

Good news is that everyone level up!

Breg learned Evasive, Boggi learned Concentrate (Magic Up and Shell for one turn, take next turn sooner), Brea learned Landslide (Stun all adjacent units, nice), Hup learns NOTHING, Rek'yr learned to Shove people.

---

Mission: The Chamberlain's Deception - Drenchen Encampment

"The heroes reach the Drenchen encampment and confront the manipulative Chamberlain"

Well, I won't say no to kicking his butt a second and a half time and stealing his clothes again.

I do wonder if we'll get to fight more Skeksis besides the Chamberlain, the Hunter, and presumably the General.

Geez, this map is huge.

I'm bringing Deet, Gurjin and Naia (home turf), Kylan (because he's Naia's bestie), and Breg. Because I'm always bringing Breg. Poor guy needs more experience constantly.

Gurjin: "Begone Chamberlain! Your kind is no longer welcome, drainer!"

The Chamberlain: "Please... Skeksis come only to help Gelfling living so far away. We bring them back to the castle. GIve them much-needed food and supplies."

He has a trustworthy face, I say we trust him.

Rian: "Don't listen to him! He plans to drain you all for your essence!"

Then again, Rian is a protagonist. He might be right.

Chamberlain: "Wicked Gelfling spread lies! Capture the fugitives and skekSil will reward you all at the Castle!"

-me hits a Drenchen after they hit me-

Chamberlain: "You see! Gelfling here to hurt you"

I MEAN. It doesn't look good for us! 90% of what we do is roll into town and beat up other Gelfling!

Soo. I lost.

Its a bad setup. There's a lot of swamp water in the middle that Chamberlain can just sit on the other side of and lob his ridiculous 4 and 5 ranged apparently perfect accuracy confuse Please, Please and stun Spithead abilities across.

All the Gelfling enemies are Drenchen so they can cross the swamp water no problem or darkened armaligs which have ridiculous defense.

Chamberlain himself has 1000 HP. You only have to beat him but he plays keep away on the other side of the swamp. And if you try to keep out of his range, then he'll cross over but run away if you attack him too much. And he's seemingly immune to status effects.

Trying again with Rian, Gurjin, Naia, Brea, and Hup. The all-star squad.

And I lost again. Chamberlain is just too able to lock down the party with confuse and stun and not to mention converting your people onto his team. I even got his MP down to nothing and he still used an ability to I can't win via attrition either. And when you take out half the enemy units, he automatically goes hopped up on essence and can use Skeksis Friend to convert a confused team member.

I had Hup, who could clear confusion but he died.

Eesh, what a disaster.

Going to try Hup, Alyadon, Brea, Rian and Naia. Alyadon and Hup can both clear statuses, Brea and Alyadon can heal. Rian can hit things. And Naia can hit things but look cooler when she does.

Oh, shit I actually won. I lost everyone but Naia. Heck, I lost everyone but Brea, Alyadon, and Naia just getting across the swamp to where Chamberlain was. Hup and Rian both got cornered and slowly beaten to death =(

I had Alyadon mark the Chamberlain, then he executed her =(

I had Brea dreamfast to give Naia more MP, then two armaligs bumped her to death at the cost of their own lives =(

And then Naia did double strike AND IT WAS THE DRAMATIC LAST BLOW! GOOD STUFF!

I didn't denude the Chamberlain again but I did steal his Signet Ring and got a book of Drenchen legends.

The ring lets the equipped hero start battle with ten turns of Guardian's Blessing! Which means an auto-revive! I'd have to suck a lot to die in the first ten turns but STILL NEAT

Giving it to Naia, she more than earned it!

Drenchen Legends is a spellbook, grants a ranged magic attack with 30% chance to inflict poison. GIVING IT TO BREA, SHE EARNED IT! Plus, she loves to read.

And Brea and Naia levelled up, as befits THE LAST TWO PEOPLE STANDING.

PHEW

Brea learned Channel (grant adjacent allies MP regen? YES THANK YOU) and Naia learned Retribution WHICH IS VERY APPROPRIATE FOR HOW I GOT IT (50% chance to counter attack melee attacks). I kept wishing Naia could counter the whole mission when she was confused and being slowly beaten to death by a mender.

I spent some of my battle spoils giving some teeth to Gurjin and Rek'yr and buying Brea some bat fur.

And thats where I leave off because that is just enough for right now. I really thought I'd just be stuck at this point and have to grind on bar fights!

[supergenial]

Three Houses sucks actually

It’s been a whole month so after about 180 hours of play and doing all four routes, I thought I’d write down all the minor nitpicks that upset me about this fantastic game. Obviously spoilers ahead.

First of all, I do think it’s a great game, it’s one of my favorite fire emblem titles so far. I will not claim to be a veteran, but I have been playing since the gba games, I’ve played every game between fe6 and three houses, even fe12. I know genealogy is supposed to be GOAT but I’m holding out for a remake like I did with gaiden (and boy, waiting payed up big time on that one). Also if you love this game and think it’s perfect, that is awesome, I urge you to not read this so you don’t get upset about someone not understanding the game that you love (even though I love it too). Anyway, let’s begin:

I. The Four Routes are bad (together)

This game presents the player with a choice of 3 houses they can join, with that decision deciding which story you actually get to see. Along with Lion, Eagle and Deer, there’s also a “Church” route that is kind of lame, but not game-ruining. On their own they’re all actually pretty darn good stories. But these routes are extremely flawed. Not intrinsically, mind-you, but rather as a whole. In a game with multiple routes, you’d expect them to complement each other but instead each route actively makes the other ones actually worse. Do keep in mind that I think each route is pretty good on it’s own (even church) whichever one you pick first you will enjoy it greatly, and it will only deteriorate as you progress through the others.

Edelgard’s route is a political story of a revolutionary who wants to crush aristocracy and replace it with a meritocracy, her objective therefore is to crush the church that oversees the 3 nations. It feels like something out of shin megami tensei, she’s basically a chaos hero (which I usually hate) but with some nuance and less insane. It’s a great route! Gameplay-wise, it is my favorite, and also has the most thematic cohesion with the early game where all the students have misgivings about their noble status. Problem is it would have you believe that Dimitri has a complex ideological reason for standing up against her and protecting the church, when in reality playing his route tells you that he really has no political ideologies that he believes in (he straight up says this to Mercedes in their A support), he’s just a king defending his territory, which is really underwhelming as he has no parallels or contrasting motifs in regards to her, he’s just a dude. Another awful thing that basically everyone agrees is bad about this route is Those Who Slither in the Dark, a group that is set up as villains that have to be defeated, but instead get dealt with off-screen in the epilogue. You’d think it’s because they were lazy, and didn’t want to make a level for them, but there’s 2 routes in which you do fight them, they have their own level already in the game, it’s just not in this route. The plotline then just feels very lazy and incomplete, but even moreso once you play Claude’s route and you just... you just fight against those who slither, which is all I wanted to do at the end of Edelgard’s route. Perhaps the most disappointing route, but I happen to have an affinity for disappointment and the themes it goes for.

Dimtri’s route is a fantastic story of a broken man reclaiming his sanity. It’s the most character-driven and the most emotionally charged of the three. It’s an amazing route! Easily the best written as it picks a single theme (Dimitri’s downfall and rise) and does it extremely well instead of spreading too wide and losing focus. The ending is a bit underwhelming though. Basically everything after Dimitri recovers his humanity feels like filler, though his A supports are really amazing, all of them, making his post-feral phase worth it. The bigger problem is that this route actively sabotages the player’s enthusiasm towards playing Edelgard’s route as it paints her as the ultimate evil, the True and Only villain that has to be defeated. As such, a lot of the reaction I’ve seen online is that people who play this one first flat out refuse to play Edelgard’s route because really, why would you? She’s badbadnotgood, her sanity and reasoning are as flimsy as it gets, and she broke Dimitri’s heart when he was a kid, along with killing his entire family according to this route. You’d have to be insane to be excited to play as her, it’s something you’d only do for the sake of completionism. In the church and deer route you fight Edelgard too, but she’s presented as a well-intentioned extremist rather than an evil snake. Yes, even in the church route, the very one thing she wants to destroy!

Claude’s route on the other hand is so complete it suffers from it. It goes over every major plotline and actually solves it with very little thematic resonance between it all. Those who slide? He takes care of them. Rhea’s misdeeds? They’re acknowledged. Edelgard isn’t insane? He agrees. Who exactly was Nemesis?(the very first cutscene we’re shown!) Got it too. What is Sothis, what happened to her, why is she bound to Byleth? Got it. His route is ridiculous in that it covers too much ground and lore that could’ve been better put in the church route as it has no real thematic cohesion with Claude. He wants to end racism or something, ok cool, but he never fights any “race-realists”, none of the villains in his route are diametrically opposed to his ideals, and his final boss is a last minute diabolus ex machina with no real theme to it. It would’ve been easy to drive the point further that by beating the deadlords they’re burying the prejudices of the past and forging a new world without their literal ancestors hanging over them, but instead the scene goes for a sort of power of friendship type of feel and just rolls with that. It’s an exciting route with many hype moments, but when put together with the other ones, it feels kind of really weird that his route is basically a lore dump to fill in the lore gaps rather than a story about something.

It’s a given that in a game with 3 routes each one would tell their side of their story and be somewhat incomplete, leading the player to play all three to get the whole story. Instead these 3 routes actively try to drag each other lower instead of boosting each other higher, which is really disappointing. 

Don’t even get me started on the church route, that shouldn’t even be in the game at all. It’s the same as Claude’s route, the exact same, but without Claude. Ok so that means Seteth gets a lot of development in this route right? No, not really, he’s just kind of there. Rather than Seteth being the lord of the route it’s more like this is a lord-less route. Ghost Dimitri is a really cool scene, for sure, but outside of that seriously screw this route. You might think “well but I like Rhea, I want to be on her side”, well spoiler alert kiddo: you literally fight Rhea in this route, she’s the final boss. And you don’t get to hang out with her all that much either so forget about that. While I dislike Rhea, I think having a route for her is reasonable since that sickening mommy fetish is so popular these days so of course you’d want to pander to that audience for that sweet cash, but people who like Rhea don’t even get that because you have to actually kill her at the end (which I actually really like, it made the church route Actually Good for me, plus it’s a really fun level despite being yet another fight at Garreg Mach, more on that later). Also in this route you don’t get to see Rhea in her Seiros armor that is 10/10 hot as shit so why even bother, go play Edelgard’s route if you want to see some actually cool Rhea scenes and quotes.

edit: just been informed Rhea does live if you S-support her, kind of disappointed but ok, that’s pretty good for all who liked her and it makes sense.

II. Claude, the master tactician

“Ugh, don’t call me that”, Even he’s fed up with the title

My favorite of the three lords in the game is easily Claude but it’s pretty unfair that he survives every single route (unless you actively choose not to spare him in Edelgard’s route), whereas Dimitri and Edelgard always die outside of their routes. But that’s not the worst of him, what I hate about him is how he gets hyped up as THE MASTER STRATEGIST whenever other characters speak of him. Granted, writing a “Smart” character is hard because you have to be smart or else the readers won’t buy it, but the writers don’t even try and instead make him out to be a complete fool in almost every route (he’s actually pretty smart in the church route imo, but he’s also never seen in that one).

In his route, he does exhibit some degree of strategy and thought, devising a trap to protect Garreg Mach (by setting his allies on fire???) and doing a bit of a Trojan Horse when seizing Fort Merceus. However, if you play Dimitri’s route, Gilbert suggests doing the fire thing, and in the church route you just infiltrate Fort Merceus in the exact same way. So congratulations Claude, you’re about as smart as... Gilbert, a character that no one ever refers to as a strategic or military genius. This is another case of routes weighting down other routes, if you only play his route you think “oh yeah, he’s smart, he Trojan Horse’d the empire, what an absolute madlad”, but once you play the other routes it’s like, oh, ok, I guess that’s just meant to happen that way whichever side you choose.

Ok, maybe he’s not a genius master strategist in his story, sure, after all Byleth is the tactician so of course he’d take a back seat, but what about as an enemy commander? he’s gotta have some devious map design to back up his claim to genius, right? Wrong.

In Dimitri’s route you fight Claude and Edelgard post-timeskip at Gronder Field just like you did before the timeskip. In this battle, Claude’s objective is to stop Edelgard. You think to yourself, oh that’s wonderful, an ally! Together we’ll crush that evil snake together! Except his army focuses yours, instead of going straight for Edelgard, as he did in the very same battle pre-timeskip. The game says there’s some fog, but guess what, this game HAS a fog mechanic to make some maps have low-visibility, and that fog is not present in this map! As such, he comes off as a total doofus in this chapter. This battle feels like Batman v Superman, a fight that just “has” to happen to sell the idea that the heroes are against each other, but Batman and Superman shouldn’t be fighting at all to begin with, they’re on the same side! They only fight because it’s the “hype” thing to do. Sigh.

Later on in the same route Claude is attacked by the empire in his hometown. His “master strategy” is to corner himself against an army that outnumbers his army 10:1, and trust that Dimitri will save him, the very same Dimitri that nearly killed him a couple days ago at Gronder Field. This is a pretty stupid and naive strategy on it’s own, but it gets worse once you look at the enemy troops in this map. They are all horses or infantry, not a single flier. Claude himself, he rides a wyvern. He could’ve escaped out to the sea, you might even think that’s his plan, but no, because Judith is there in the map and she certainly isn’t riding a wyvern, same goes for all his other men. Imagine the mockery, the sheer audacity of driving your enemy into a corner and thinking you’ll kill him only for all his men to suddenly get on wyverns and escape from you, which is possible thanks to the mount/unmount mechanic. Just imagine, you’re trying to save him and upon reaching halfway through the map, he and all his men get on wyverns and escape, saying they’ll trust you to take care of the empire as they run away, as you realize he just fooled you into taking out the trash for him. It would’ve been awesome! A moment worthy of The Master Trickster, but no, you just have to kill the boss before he kills Claude and Judith and that’s the map, that’s the whole thing.

And don’t even get me started on his map on Edelgard’s route. For a whole month people hype Claude up to be John Von Neumann combined with The Joker and Sun Tzu, so I’m expecting his level to be a really twisted one: warps, damaging terrain, falco knights with horse slayers, ballistae, swordmasters with armorslayers, siege tomes, sleep staves, berserk staves, etc. Instead, the level in which you fight against Claude has basically 0 unusual terrains, his “master strategy” is to just call for reinforcements until you cut off the source of reinforcements. This means that his “incredibly genius master tactic of galaxy-brain depth” is to use brute force, which is literally the exact opposite of clever tactics. Needless to say, this was to me the biggest disappointment, really wasted that opportunity to make a level that’s actually unique.

Then you go on to fight Dimitri’s right afterwards and guess what: his map has a siege tome user(with decent crit rate!), it has a unique monster gimmick where you have to kill an enemy every turn to avoid them turning into monsters, it has 4 commanders all calling for reinforcements leaving you to choose wisely which one needs to be stopped first, it has a river separating both sides of the map so that your teams have to be cleanly split up if going for multiple objectives, etc. It’s my favorite level in the game because it’s well thought out, interesting and basically more like what you’d expect of the mission where you’d fight a tactical mastermind. Sigh.

III. Ideological Conflict (a lack of it)

This is my biggest issue with the game

I really memed myself playing Edelgard's route so early because as I said previously it feels like a shin megami tensei chaos-route. She is fighting for an ideal, and so I falsely developed the hope that the game would have an ideological conflict. If you play Claude's route, you see that he is also fighting for his ideals, dude wants to end racism, that is awesome! However even when the characters do fight each other, their ideals are never in conflict. In Edelgard’s paralogue you fend off an almyrian invasion but she tells Byleth that she wishes they could be allies, and that in the future they should sit down and talk with almyrians to make their relationship better. In Claude’s route he is often fed up with the church’s historical revisionism and you can see he holds a lot of contempt for the institution as a whole. Edelgard and Claude may fight each other due to circumstance but their ideals are never against each other, in fact they kind of want the same things. And surely enough, Dimitri also thinks racism is whack, which is mostly explored through his relationship with Dedue. But Dimitri just doesn’t really believe in anything, in his route he’s completely reactive to the forces around him, there’s just no ideal world that he’s working towards, instead he just deals with the bullshit others have set in his way (not that there’s anything actually wrong with that, it’s just really underwhelming when the other stories are about ideals). 

And really that’s ok. Like I said this is a problem of my own I memed myself into thinking I was playing a much better game, and only have myself to blame for those expectations. It’s very normal of intelligent systems to not want to put into the game a playable character who is racist or anti-equality. Except we have Lorenz and Ferdinand, two characters that are so fiercely pro-aristocracy I started the game hating them(nowadays Ferdinand is easily in my top 5). Ferdinand believes that nobility is a cross to be carried for the good of the people and that rather than a highway to an easy life, it is a tremendous responsibility to bear and that commoners are better off relying on a noble like himself to make their lives better.

Nobility being a cross is something supported by the narrative! There are many characters dissatisfied with their lives solely because they were born as nobles and have to deal with problems exclusive to nobles, most notably Sylvain, Ingrid and then Mercedes who straight up becomes a commoner because of the pressure of nobility. Lorenz on the other hand has been pressured by his family so much he’s a completely brainwashed tool of the aristocrats, but as the game progresses he gets his head out of his ass and becomes a more likeable character. 

“Edelgard intends to abolish the nobility, but I know I can disuade her”, Ferdinand you bumbling fool, that is literally her main policy, have you ever actually listened to her?

Those two show it is possible for the team to write characters with bad ideals and then develop them into likeable ones, they just didn’t feel like having a lord that upholds bad ideals and grows out of them or is betrayed by their shortcomings. Hell, just imagine if after the last chapter in black eagles those who slither betrayed Edelgard instantly, showing that allying yourself with villainous people only because they’re convenient is sure to lead to betrayal. It would’ve been a sobering moment to see her say that maybe, maybe pairing up with mustache-twirling bad guys might have been a bad idea after all and having to really consider the damage she might have caused by letting them co-exist with her for her goals. Instead her route just ends, significantly shorter than all others. Aghhh. But yeah, this is a problem of my own expectations because fire emblem never had amazingly complex stories to begin with (I know I know, genealogy is supposed to be pretty deep, but that was over 20 years ago, it’s just not relevant to modern fire emblem until it gets a remake).

“Wait so you want Dimitri to be racist?” Oh hell no. Dimitri is literally perfect as he is, just look at him. What I’m saying is he should’ve gotten his own game, because he doesn’t fit in with the other two lords in this game as he has no vision of how the world should be (other than “Good”) and no ideological struggle he needs the world to understand. His story just doesn’t need Fodlan. The kicker is that his house, were it not for their tight and adorable friendship, is the one that is more likely to side with Edelgard as Sylvain, Mercedes, Ingrid, and Felix all hate nobility/aristocracy, and Ashe’s dad whom he idolizes literally gets sentenced to death by the church. Dimitri on a solo game would’ve been a cool story (better than Fates that’s for sure). But in three houses he doesn’t complement the other two lords, and the other two lords also bring him down. It’s what I’ve been saying: the routes just don’t complement each other. Remember how I said many people played Blue Lions and then just flat out refused to play the other routes? It sounded like I was belittling them but those people were right, they’re living their best life and I applaud them, they truly beat the game.

Worth noting that the church route is technically, from an outside perspective, a pro-aristocracy route. The black eagles students are all aristocrats except for Dorothea, and in this route it’d be a fair observation to say that they’re a bunch of spoiled kids who are trying to preserve the status-quo because they don’t want to give up their lands and servants. Obviously this isn’t how the route approaches character motivations, but an incisive in-world historian would’ve made this scathing observation by simply looking at who’s spearheading the revolt against the emperor: a bunch of rich kids.

IV. The Pre-Timeskip common route (FOUR times)

Moving onto gameplay-related nitpicks: what were they thinking? There’s like 13 chapters before the timeskip in every route, and they are always the same missions regardless of which house you choose. One of them is to kill Ashe’s dad and the other one is to kill Sylvain’s brother, you would think those missions would be exclusive to the blue lions and that other routes would have an equivalent for them: a story that hits home, that gets personal with one of the characters you chose and more importantly that just plays differently across all the routes. Instead the game would have you play the same missions 4 times so that you end up dreading the sight of them, on top of them having no real relation to the characters you’re using in 3/4ths of the routes. If the dlc route has me defend Garreg Mach even one more time, I’ll just go insane. Speaking of that:

V. Dimitri, Claude and Church route all have same maps

If you feel like playing all four routes, it’s gonna feel like you’re just playing the exact same game over and over. The maps you play in are literally all the same. And Edelgard isn’t scot-free either, but at least in her maps you fight from the other perspective of the map you know, you’re at least coming at it from another angle (though she will still have you defend Garreg Mach post-timeskip, completely negating the pleasure of not doing that pre-timeskip). I get it: these maps are huge, and they’re highly detailed because you can zoom in and literally see the battalions and all that, it’s really super neat and takes a lot of time to make so you can’t just have a hundred maps. But I mean by the end of the game (that is, playing all four routes) looking at any of the maps feels so tiring. I feel like I might just never replay any of the routes at least for a very long time because I’ve grown sick of seeing them over and over and over so many times. And dear lord, if I have to play Flayn’s paralogue one more time without fliers I’ll just shoot myself. Speaking of fliers.

VI. Fliers are absurdly broken

Literally what were they thinking. Wyvern Riders have absolutely insane stats and thanks to the dismount feature, they lose nothing by being in that class. The last levels in Claude and Edelgard’s routes are severely favored toward fliers too, both of them featuring tons of damaging terrain that is hard to cross for horses, though at least Nemesis has the decency of having many ballistae set up (probably because Claude himself is a flier so they expect you to have at least one). Also all that damaging terrain screws over horses because they thought horses were broken or something. But really, you’d think mobility is such an important stat that they’d compensate for it elsewhere, but no, all you lose is the opportunity cost of not having more crit as a war master (which female characters don’t have access to anyway) or being able to use magic. And horse units just get screwed over in every conceivable way, you’d expect that they at least get some beefy additional stats over wyvern riders but instead they’re actually weaker since wyverns are faster and speed is such an important stat. Also wyverns have so much defense that even in hard mode arrows (their supposed weakness) will have trouble denting them (or even hitting them thanks to their extremely high avoid).

edit: I also invite you to look at the growth rate modifiers for each class and see that all horse classes provide a negative speed growth rate, which is bad enough without realizing that wyverns are so minmaxed they even provide a cute minus 5 magic as a “balance” while getting boosts to both defense and speed in their final class. Are you kidding me? Horses are basically a player trap, they look cool and they’re half the master classes so they gotta be useful, right? Couldn’t be more wrong. Also what’s the deal with mortal savant providing -10% speed growth, that shit is bananas, how could the Naruto class hamper your speed if Naruto is all about that running, IT’S INSANE.

This is all exacerbated once you go for a low-turn-count playthrough, a fairly popular style of play among fans of the series where as the name indicates you try to beat the levels in as few turns as possible. Suddenly fliers go from clearly the strongest, to necessary. What’s absurd is how fliers are affected by the Stride battalion in the same way all other units are. Stride is a battalion effect that allows a group of units to have higher movement for one turn, your little walking units suddenly being able to walk 12 squares like it’s nothing feels pretty good but this battalion can also boost the movement of fliers and horses which means: why would you waste it on infantry units? It would’ve been so easy, and would’ve made so much sense for stride to only work on walking units, or to at least have reduced effectiveness on mounted units, but they just completely forgot that.

I knew I should’ve gone wyvern, could’ve had way more 1′s

VII. Crests

Oh wow, a neat game feature where each character has a unique skill related to their bloodline, and the story acknowledges their existence by saying they’re so highly valued they decide who’s noble and who isn’t. Surely they came up with really interesting effects for all of them, right? Wrong. “Raise Mt when using skills”, “Raise Mt when using magic”, “Raise Mt when attacking”. This shit is boring. But hey it’s ok right, you can’t expect them to come up with unique interesting skills for each character to have right? Except they did, each character (crest-bearer or not) has a personal skill, and they are all way more interesting than crests. The only non-boring crests are the ones bore by Annete, Mercedes, Hilda and Ferdinand. And Annete doesn’t even learn meteor, so her magic-conservation isn’t even that amazing once she becomes a gremory, though it probably is fairly useful if she becomes a dark knight instead. I will say though, crests are still way better than the personal crit skills from radiant dawn, like Stun and the like which were basically glorified critical hits in some cases or straight up silencers in the case of luna or eclipse (hell, those skills got so bad that the endgame is filled with Nihil wielders, characters who just straight up cancel the activation of enemy skills because the game itself had to patch them out preemptively due to how ridiculous they were, but at least they were impressive and memorable and not just “raise Mt a little bit sometimes” are you kidding me).

VIII. Lost items

Up until now these have all been nitpicks but if anything gets my blood boiling is those dreaded lost items, a gameplay feature that I just straight up gave up on and never looked back. You find a billion lost items throughout the monastery, which is great, an item that shows the personality of the character that lost it, and once you return it to them your affection grows. The problem is that there’s really like a hundred of them, and they’re not hard to find but rather are a pain to give back to their owners, for the screen where you select them doesn’t allow for any kind of sorting options. How hard was it isys?? I press X and the items are ordered alphabetically, was that really so hard? You really expect me to rummage through this endless list until I find the right one from the sea of really small text for ants? THIS IS THE REAL GAMEBREAKER, THIS IS WHERE IT ALL FALLS APART AND I REALIZE THIS GAME IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL TO WRECK HAVOC INTO THE SOULS OF ALL PLAYERS.

In the end

So yeah, basically it’s a pretty good game, I’d say at least a 9/10 and unironically among my favorite fire emblems. I won’t go into detail about what I like because that’s not the point of the post and really who gives a shit, but it’s really good and I can’t wait for the dlc next year! Also this:

(also please let magic always function like in this game where instead of tomes and staves you have a set number of uses per encounter like it’s dungeons and dragons, that shit ruled)

edit: I did another post about the maddening difficulty, you might like it if you have read this far 

[vampiresuns]

Musings For After Everybody is Gone

A asoiaf drabble about the friendship of Aelius Anatole Tyrell, Master of Whisperers, and the Late Queen Astaeria, for @starryskylullaby‘s au.

It has always been awfully lonely, being the Master of Whisperers, but when Anatole accepted the position on Valerius’ recommendation he had still been a little too young and a little too overconfident to fully grasp what the it would do to his personal life. Which is to say: leaving it almost non existent. At the time he left High-Garden for King’s Landing, he envisioned himself as some sort of power in the shadows, playing his own game of chess, each piece built upon bits of information.

He left High-Garden, its jests, its parties, the idle studying and the carelessness and free-spirited airs he used to have to follow his uncle and his cousin, and becoming one of the youngest, if not the youngest, Master of Whisperers in Westeros. Of course there still were parties, jests and idle recreations in King’s Landing, but he was intelligent enough (has always been) to soon realise the true weight of his position. 

Because he was young, soon he was tried to be manipulated; because he was young, he was often thrown under the carpet, the elders always thinking they knew more. Because his job was to lead the centre of intelligence for the King (a King who did not listen) no one trusted him enough, and he did not trust anyone besides Valerius. The Hand of the King, cousin of his father, was always very close to him, and if anything, was the person who taught him how to survive, who told him “you will be great and I can teach you how to be great.”

He was only 26, and he showed every single person that behind the beauty of his face and his polite mannerisms lied a decisive strategist with his own agenda. Someone you wanted as an ally, never as an enemy.

What nobody told him was how awfully lonely it would be. He often told himself it was alright, of course it was, he was the snake beneath the flowers, the ears no one noticed, the man of the people who swiftly used the most unassuming of labourers and took care of them in return. But the Master of Whisperers had no friends beyond acquiescences — he had people he preferred,and people he almost trusted. He had no partners beyond occasional lovers, no life in the light, beyond a facade of it.

The sunrise rose of High-Garden lived a life in the shadows, beyond the eyes of that blasted dragon, where he talked to himself, he danced by himself, he took himself to bed when the day was done.

In the shadows was where he found her. Of course he did, she was like the moon, and while the moon casts light, while it can be seen during the day, it is not meant to be appreciated if not during the night, when it’s dark, when everything dies to be born again in the morning.

He still remembers meeting Astaeria and Lucerys for the first time, still remembers haughtily telling Valerius if he could not find two more incompetent Targaryens to work with after the meeting ended. It had been after that first meeting in which both of them blindly gave him the position, no questions asked, no knowledge of the workings of Westeros demanded, nothing but blind faith in Dee’s and the Hand’s words. 

“A new Master for a new era of Westeros,” Lucerys had said, and that was it.

The Queen had been... quiet. She was incredibly soft spoken and ridiculously polite, reminding him more of a tranquil pond in the middle of the forest than of a Targaryen. He supposed the ‘fire and blood’ should be somewhere beneath all of it, and part of him wanted to test the limits of her patience, to know what he was truly dealing with.

Yet he had been given one look of warning by those sharp grey eyes, and he had let it go. He’d test her later.

There was no need to test Lucerys, he wasn’t particularly discreet about his nature, his way of being, his... anything — he was aware, he often had to check for information of what rumours were circulating about the King and the Palace, so Valerius dealt with them later. Like his sodding babysitter, he often thought. Still, he didn’t hate the King, not quite. He was amusing to watch, fairly fun in parties, but Anatole had been raised to become a high ranking Statesman and anyone who cared enough knew you cannot lead a Kingdom by bread and circus alone. Things eventually collapse, and didn’t they collapse when Asra raised his armies.

(He spoke to him twice, during awful pre-war negotiations. They would’ve been friends in another life time in one where he had them, he thought)

In the end it wasn’t him the one to test her, but the other way around. He had begun spending a significant amount of time in the gardens — they reminded him of home — and apparently the Queen liked to do the same.

He’s too engulfed in his note-taking to notice her coming. Still, he has a role to play so he pretends to be unfazed when she asks him, in her ever so gentle tone, if she could sit with him.

“If you don’t mind me working, then sure, who am I to deny the Queen?”

“Do you ever not work?”

“I’ll let you into a secret if you can keep it, your Majesty, I’m not working, I’m studying... I do a lot of things with my free time, when I have it, it’s just nobody’s business what I do with it.”

“Yours is a double edged position, someone with less faith in your abilities and alliances would dislike that,” she said, giving him a genuine smile. Hers was only a comment, not a threat.

“I am hardly concerned with it,” he lied. “I mean no offence but your majesty, I do not think you have much room to comment on it now.”

“How so?”

“You gave one of the most ‘double-edged positions’, as you called it, in the small council to a complete stranger.”

“You’re not a complete stranger, you’re Valerius’ nephew, and Dee’s cousin.”

“They could be conspiring against you by putting me in this position. They are not, obviously, but it could be a possibility and sometimes I am monstrously amused by the lack of strategic thinking of the Crown... not that the King is incapable of it, he is very capable of it — it simply may be you are more emotional than I am.”

“Don’t we all have emotions?”

“Not I, or at least, it is not my job to have them.”

“I do not believe you to be emotionless,” she says, placing her hand in his shoulder, standing up to leave. “I believe you to be cunning, dedicated and very concerned with the welfare of the people, and I do hope you don’t prove my faith to be misguided.”

Ten months. Ten months he had been in King’s Landing at the time, and the Queen had swiftly undone him in about seven minutes of conversation. Not by games, not by tricks, not by dishonesty, not by letting him fool himself with incomplete yet truthful information.

In his opinion, in his educated opinion, it was an absolute liability to have such an open-hearted, gentle Queen. That it was an advantage to sway public opinion, and something to weaponise if she became the heart of the Nation, the caring sweetheart of the Kingdom, still her emotional honesty could sink all of them in a snap of someone’s fingers if they were not careful enough.

And yet he had thrown his educated opinion through the window when he heard someone make an ill-savoured remark about her age and inexperience. His tongue could be as honey sweet as it could be sharp, and he did not hesitate to simply say: “Age is no guarantee of efficiency.”

For a short time he allowed himself to fool himself with thinking it was a remark in defence of the Queen on the surface, but a reminder and defence move in terms of his position deep down. Yet it was no use lying to himself, he’d sink, so instead he accepted the Queen interested him; of course she did, and for all his flaws and indiscretions Lucerys did love her, so defending the Queen was strategically placing himself in a favourable position with the King.

Thus, Queen Astaeria Sweetstar of Houses Stark and Targaryen became the biggest enigma in King’s Landing to him. This enigma he wanted to unravel for the sake of the game, not because he was his job. He expected a lot of things, some of those he found, while other conclusions he had drawn had been mistaken. Yet the biggest surprise of all was how she became his closest, most dear friend.

With time he became the Queen’s Master of Whisperers, in a way; when she asked why did he always have audiences with her and Valerius before any small council meetings were scheduled, asking if he did not think the King fit for ruling he simply replied that it was not that he thought less of the King, but more of the Queen. As her confidence and agency on the Kingdom grew, his pride in her swelled.

He gave her pearl pendants for her birthday, and for his, she got him a hand crafted chess set. They sometimes visited the city together, and he allowed himself to simply be around her, commenting on things with little transcendence and basking under the sun. They often played duets and danced together, and she enjoyed playing match maker with him, even if she knew it was futile.

“Oh no, Astaeria, you’re not marrying me off, and I will not be married off unless they hold me against a crossbow... maybe. There has been this girl or the other who had caught my attention, but you know as well as I do they’re not my preference,” he shrugged. “I suppose there was someone, when I still lived in High-Garden, but while unions which cannot produce children, or same gendered unions are not prohibited... you know as well as I do that in our circles they’re always dismissed in favours of those which do.”

She had understood, only replying with: “Still, I so very want you to be happy, my dear Anatole.”

“Are you happy?”

She didn’t reply that time. In common silence, he squeezed her hand in the privacy of his office. They have been friends for a handful of years now, and Anatole fooled himself no longer. When it came to Astaeria, he was in it for good. They’d find their small joys in the shadows, dancing a merry tune and toasting to everything that wasn’t, everything they sacrificed for King and Duty.

That year, for her birthday, he gave her her own bush of sunrise roses, his roses. She gave him a dragon-glass rapier.

But now she’s dead. She’s dead and he’s never worn mourning clothes more willingly. She was the sister he never had, the friend he so desperately needed, the one person he had let, willingly, into his private world, where he didn’t concern himself with State matters but with the physics of light, and the tricks he could do with magic. Where they danced in the gardens, and joked around, poking each other with their elbows, and told each others of their homes.

It’s a miracle he survived the battle, it’s a surprise even for himself. It is not a surprise when he’s pushed to the side so Lucerys can cling to her dead body, as if his heart wasn’t broken as well.

Westeros had always been unkind to friendships and men like himself.

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

So...here we are! And I refuse to believe that Tonberries are bad! Nothing that cute can be evil! And just to prove it! Another Tonton story!

~

As the dust cleared the most recent hunt, Tonton shuffled over picking up the spectacles that fell before him, before calling out in a grunt to the man who had lost them.

“Thank you, Tonton,” Ignis called, kneeling before the only member of the Crown's Gaurd that was not a human.

Tonton let out a pleasing huff as his tail wagged, allowing Olive to scoop him up, knowing that it was faster for them to carry him than himself walking, small legs and all. Noctis had given the little guy Crown’s Guard status and last they ran into Iris she promised to make him an attire like the others so that he didn’t feel left out. Such as before when he wasn’t in the blacks like the rest of his team.

“So what’s for dinner Iggy, I’m starving.” Gladiolus huffed.

“Seeing that our provisions are rather low and it is getting late, we are best having Noct catch us dinner,” Ignis stated.

“No prob,” Noctis called summoning his fishing rod. “You up for it, Prompto, Ton?”

The smallest member cheered as Olive handed him over to Noctis, those two loved their fishing. “You remember where we set up camp?”

“Tonton watch over Noct and Prompto,” Ignis called, rather having Gladiolus or Olive go after them, but Gladiolus still needed to set up the tent and Olive needed to go hunt down some herbs until they could get more potions.

Which is why when only the Prince and Photographer returned just before nightfall without a Tonberry it confused everyone at camp.

“Well, he’s a Tonberry, not many things are going to mess with him out here,” Gladiolus stated, setting down his book.

Olive giggled nudging the man, “You’re just as worried as we are, but Gladdy’s right Tonton’s smart.”

“We did get him use to humans think someone picked him up?” Prompto whined, he was very upset that the little green guy went missing on their watch.

“Nah, you see how he is with new people,” Noctis stated. “He knows where we set up camp, he’ll be back before we know it.”

Still, the next hour dragged on as Ignis prepared dinner, once everyone was served did they hear something coming from the darkness, only to see the familiar haunted eyes of one Royal Lucian Tonberry, waddling towards his group.

“There you are!” Prompto cried rushing over to the little guy, scooping him up as Tonton gave a please squeal at getting attention from Prompto. “You had us, worried buddy.”

Tonton gave another squeal, hugging Prompto, before tapping a freckled cheek and then motioning toward the ground. The blonde placed him down, before he waddled just out of the reaches of their fires glow, waving towards something.

Everyone waited on alert, only to see something waddling towards them, only to stare in shock at the two Tonberry babies before him.

“Wait I thought Tonton was a guy,” Gladiolus stated.

Tonton quickly waddled over to Olive pulling at her pant leg, asking her to come over to the two babies. While Tonton came to rest just below Noctis’s knee, these little ones came to rest at Tonton’s shoulder, if not shorter. They also appeared different, one was green still but had a red cloak, while the other was snow white and had a blue cloak on. Both with very long sleeves that was a surprise they didn’t stumble on when they moved.

“Hi, are you friends of Tonton?” Olive smiled kneeling down, only now noticing the white one had a tear on its sleeve. “Were you hurt?” As she reached out the one in red, reached out igniting a small fire, causing the woman to jump back.

“Olive!” “You okay?”

“I’m fine guys.” She giggled, as Tonton moved over to the smaller ones, assuring them that the woman was fine. Only then did the little white one shuffle forward. “I’m sorry did I scare you? Can I see your arm?”

The little one allowed Olive to pick it up, watching as Tonton and it’s friend followed towards her seat.

“Is this why you disappeared, Pug?” Ignis inquired, missing his chef at his side, as Tonton nodded.

Everyone watched as he moved over to the cooler before pulling out an egg, then pointing towards the two smaller Tonberries.

“They just hatched?” Noctis inquired, as Tonton squealed a yes. “So they really are babies.”

“A baby that almost lite, Liv on fire. They don’t look like Tonberries.” Gladiolus stated, watching the red one, who was staring at Olive with the same golden eyes as Tonton as the other healed the pale one in her lap.

“That’s because they’re not Tonberries,” Prompto replied holding up his phone. “The white one is a Paleberry and the red one is Red BonnetBerry, they use magic instead.”

“There you are little one.” Olive smiled finishing the healing to the small on, giving a mending stitch to the sleeve until Ignis could sew it better. “Feel better?”

The Paleberry cooed, looking at the woman with pale blue eyes, it’s small tail wagging underneath its cloak. Turning to its friend with a coo, as Olive set it down so they could inspect each other.

Tonton than moved over to Ignis looking up with bright golden eyes, almost begging as he let out a grunt for Ignis.

“We’re not keeping them,” Ignis replied staring down the Tonberry before him.

“Ugn.”

Ignis sighed, “All right fine.”

“That quickly Iggy, you losing your edge?” Gladiolus chuckled, as the man moved over to the cooking station filling up Tonton’s plate.

“He makes a very compelling argument,” Ignis replied, as he handed the plate to Tonton, who gave it to the two smaller ones.

The following morning, it wasn’t strange to find the little white one trailing behind Prompto and Ignis as they were always on the move. It even cooed when Prompto picked it up allowing them to see what Ignis was doing at the kitchen table. While the little red one kept an eye on Gladiolus, watching everything the man did with a watchful eye, often scampering away from the man when he turned to it.

It wasn't until everyone was in the car that the little red one seemed to forget it judgment and skittishness it was in awe of the fact of the car. Even being so daring as to sneak in the front seat between Prompto and Ignis.

“Would you like to try?” Ignis asked, raising his arm.

The little red one scampered into his lap, placing their small hands on the wheel like Ignis, standing on tiptoes. Gasping as Ignis lifted them up, so their feet stood on the bottom of the wheel, and they could see out the front.

“Looks like you got it, you’re a much better driver than Noct and Prompto.”

This got the strategist a coo from the Bonnetberry and an offend grunt from the other two.

“I think we should name them if they’re gonna be with us for a bit,” Gladiolus stated, as the little white one sat on the back of the car with Noctis, her little hand holding tightly to Noctis’s jacket so as not to stumble or accidentally get blown from the back of the car.

“We don’t even know what they are.” Olive stated, “We only know Tonton’s a boy because he told us.” She replied referencing when they asked Tonton if he was like Gladiolus or Olive and the little guy pointing towards Gladiolus, this could have also meant that he thought he could take Gladiolus in a fight. “These little ones more than likely don’t know the difference.”

At that moment the ambassador of The Berries woke up from his slumber, poking his head from his carrier with a yawn.

“Morning.” Gladiolus chuckled, as TonTon rubbed an eye. “You wanna help us out, and tell us if these little guys are boys or girls?”

Tonton pointed towards his Moogle charm he got from Iris, then Gladiolus.

“They’re your little sisters?” Prompto asked as Tonton nodded, then pointed to everyone else in the car followed by himself. “You’re gonna take them in like we did you?”

This got the blonde another nod.

“The fact you can understand him is both awesome and terrifying,” Noctis replied, placing a hand on the pale ones back, so she didn’t have to keep clinging to him.

“You said she’s a paleberry and she’s a red bonnetberry?” Olive inquired.

“I believe Ally would be nice for the little paleberry and Bonny for this one here,” Ignis stated, petting the little one's head. “Are you fine with that, Ally, Bonny?”

The two smaller berries let out coos.

With two more berries joining the party, hunts became rather easy, as no one really wanted to tangle with the aggressive fighting style of a regular Tonberry, plus add spell casting berries to the mix, who were learning to use their powers made the battlefield rather dangerous. There were a few times that if someone didn’t get out the way fast enough Bonny might accidentally light them on fire, and Ally ever the sweetheart would try to freeze the flame, accidentally freezing the entire battlefield, which would cause the little Paleberry to panic and tears, as she would cuddle them when they thawed.

Bonny took quite a liking to Gladiolus and often assisted with camping, her job every evening was to start the fire. She was a feisty little thing, and would often fight with Gladiolus, but that only made the duos bond stronger. She also took the role as co-driver, which she took very, very seriously.

While Ally was more sensitive and always enjoyed cuddling, which luckily she wasn’t as chilly as she appeared. She even learned a basic healing spell, not able to heal serious wounds but enough to give comfort until someone could get a potion.

 A backpack was added so that the twins had some place to rest, granted Ally would often sleep in the car’s cooler, surrounding Ignis’s Ebony’s to keep them cool, and handing them out when requested. While Bonny would sleep on the leather seats absorbing the heat.

The duo even got Ignis to make them black cloaks, with a blue hood for Ally and a red one for Bonny.

“Everyone in,” Olive called, as Gladiolus zipped the tent closed. It had started to storm something fierce, fortunately, everyone made it in just as it began to downpour, but dinner was just getting started.

“BonBon mind heating this,” Gladiolus called, pouring a bottle of water into a cup noodle, as the Bonnet Berry wrapped herself around the cup, heating it up.

“Ally,” Ignis called, as the smaller twin climbed into the cooler, flash freezing their suppose dinner so ingredients didn’t go to waste.

“It’s like having our own little kitchen.” Prompto laughed, as Bonny handed him a cup of noodles, while Ally climbed from the cooler, handing a beer to Gladiolus.

The two smaller Berries shrieked as they heard a loud crash of thunder, quickly ducking behind TonTon who petted their backs and heads with soft cooes.

“Poor things.” Olive cooed, only to giggle at another clash of thunder drove the smaller berries to the arms of Noctis and Prompto. “It’s okay, little ones, it’s just a storm.”

As the storm raged on, the duo was placed before Prompto’s phone with Olive’s overhead headphones on to drown out the sound watching a video.

“Maybe we should drop them off with Iris,” Gladiolus replied, this was not the first time that this conversation had come up. “They’re still kids, and we don’t want them to get hurt.”

Tonton nodded, he liked Iris and knew that the smaller Amicitia would protect them.

“The car’s gonna be quieter without them.” Prompto sighed, looking to the two berries huddled together.

“If they’re with Iris, we wouldn’t have to worry about her safety or theirs,” Ignis suggested, as Tonton climbed into his lap. “It’s getting late we’ll discuss this further in the morning.”

As the lanterns turned off for the evening, the two small berries looked towards Tonton as he waddled over sitting beside them, taking up his post of guard. The two removed the headphones as they moved sitting beside their elder brother to join the watch for the evening.

“You’re going to meet Iris tomorrow.”

“Iris?” The younger ones cooed.

“It’s Gladio’s little sister.”

“Like us!” Ally beamed her little blue tail wagging.

“Are we going to be left with her?” Bonny asked.

“Maybe.” Tonton sighed.

“Don’t they like us?” Bonny asked as Ally let out a soft cry.

“Of course, that’s why they want you to go with Iris you’ll be safer, and won’t get hurt,” Tonton explained.

“I like it here.” Ally cried. “I promise not to freeze anyone again.”

“Ally.” Bonny sighed as her little sister stopped her whining. “Is Iris nice?”

“Very,” Tonton called. “You should get some sleep.”

Ally waddled over to Gladiolus, having a little trouble crawling up the man, only to have him in his sleep pull her onto his chest. While Bonny moved over to Ignis snuggling underneath his arm. The two would eventually make it across the tent by morning, but it sucked this was their last night together as a family.

~

“Come on Ally,” Noctis called, as the little Paleberry clung tightly to his shirt, burying her head into his shoulder as she gave her whine of Noctis.

“They’re normally not like this,” Olive replied, trying to help Prompto pull a growling Bonnet Berry from his shirt too.

Tonton waddled over letting out a grunt, as the two immediately let go of the two shirts.

“Don’t be this way,” Ignis replied petting Bonny’s head.

Bonny whined, Ignis was the smart one, he’d want her around.

“I don’t think they want to leave you,” Iris stated.

Tonton stared his little sisters down, as they whined before walking over to Iris, who scooped them up.

“Are you sure you want to leave them?” Iris asked, the two clinging to the young woman.

Olive moved over stroking the two’s back, “We’ll be back soon. Promise.” The woman gasped as both berries jumped from Iris’s arms, hugging the woman tightly, letting out soft cries in her shoulders. “Oh come now don’t cry.” She whimpered tears appearing in her eyes. “You’ll be safer here.”

“We don’t have to leave them here right?” Prompto cried, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“We never did ask them what they want,” Noctis replied.

The two younger berries jumped from Olive’s arms, before quickly waddling over to Ignis and Gladiolus, hugging the tallest’s legs.

Gladiolus groaned, “Looks like we really don’t have a choice.”

“It’s your call Noct,” Ignis replied.

It was lucky that the Regalia was a spacious car, as five humans and three berries made the car a little cramped. Tonton looked over his family, Bonny was taking selfies with Prompto, where she would bounce back over to help Ignis drive later when the man would request an Ebony from Ally, who would with Noctis’s help bounce over to Gladiolus to climb down to the cooler, and get the can which she would chill to the correct temp and hand to Olive to give to Ignis.

Tonton smile as he curled up on Olive’s lap, his family was strange, but they were his.

~~~~

FUN FACTS

Tonton is mostly nocturnal, but the twins are not

A new battle strategy is to pick up the nearest Berry and throw it in the air

Ally gives you a Snow Storm or hail

Bonny gives you firestorms

Tonton gets you a missile of death

Bonny is considered the hothead

But Ally has taken down a courel by herself

You don’t mess with her big brothers!

Everyone learned Bonny is fireproof when she walked into the fire to get a dropped smores

There was a lot of screaming

Like a lot

You don’t understand! There was a lot!

For whatever reason Chocobos aren’t afraid of this group of berry

Tonton will hold the little one's hands so you may have a Bonnetberry holding a lantern and a Paleberry holding a knife

Like a good older brother, he has taught them how to use a knife

This is horrifying to nearly everyone else

Bonny absolutely adores Cor!

Cor is worried that the team keeps gaining Berries

Ally thinks Lunafreya is so pretty!

She has a characterized pin on that backpack that is of Oracle

Gladiolus gave each of them a nickname

Tonton: Little Fucker

Bonny: Smaller Fucker

Ally: Snowball

When asked why Ally doesn’t have a name that matches the others Gladiolus stated

She’s the good one

They both have little dresses because they wanted to have fancy clothes like Big Brother Tonton

Iris makes 90% of them

They pay Iris with their share of the money from hunts

Bonny doesn’t like people touching the Regalia!

They have to go through her first!

Looking at you Cindy!

She will set you on fire!

The berries love cuddles! 

Strange considering most Tonberry aren’t social

Depending on the weather, either Ally or Bonny will act as A/C or a heater

TonTon has taught the twins how to scare Gladiolus

Gladio will wake up in the middle of the night to two golden eyes staring at him, so he’ll roll over and has woken the team up when meeting the glowing blue pair 

The blue eyes only woke up because her bedding shifted and woke her up.

She didn’t mean to scare him

Both Tontoon and Bonny have agreed

Gladiolus is a beautiful soprano

[faierius]

Touch Starved (A Promnis fic)

Ignis did not know what to do. It was not a feeling he had often, and it was definitely not a feeling he enjoyed. It agitated him to no end and prevented him from focusing on other tasks. Today his lack of focus lead to lack of care, which then lead to a slice across the pad of his left thumb.  The minor injury brought on more agitation when the source of his problem bounded across the came to see what had happened.

“You okay, Iggy? Need a bandage?” Prompto asked, tilting his head and looking up at Ignis with concern-filled periwinkle eyes.

Dabbing away the blood oozing from the shallow, stinging cut, Ignis offered a smile which felt tight and forced. “Thank you, but no. I'm quite alright.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

The pinched expression on Ignis' face eased at the enthusiasm radiating from the younger man. “Please, do not concern yourself. Dinner is almost prepared, so please have a seat.”

Twisting his mouth to one side, Prompto leaned heavily on Ignis' prep table. “But I wanna help! You never let any of us help,” he complained, wrinkling his nose.

“Prompto, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but it is entirely unnecessary. My workstation is far too small to have two bodies using it.”

“Oh. Okay then. Well, let me know if you need anything!” The young man covered his thinly veiled hurt with a smile and went back to where Prince Noctis sat, playing with his phone.

A disturbing twinge of guilt squeezed Ignis' heart as he watched Prompto flop down in a chair. It had been...difficult to handle the man's particular brand of affection the last few days. He had the bad luck to overhear a private conversation between Prompto and Noctis five days prior and had been unable to focus on much else.

It was an unusual thing, to hear of another's attraction to you and pretend everything was as it always had been. It was more unusual yet to see a friend in a new light that had never even crossed his mind a week ago.

Swallowing hard, Ignis readjusted his glasses and began ladling tonight's soup into a serving dish. From here, he distributed it into four bowls and garnished each bowl with a sprinkling of shallots.

“Dinner is served!” he announced.

With a shuffle of cloth and a faint scraping of chair legs on stone, Gladio, Noctis, and Prompto came to get their meal. Ignis handed each man a bowl. Gladio grunted a thanks and Noctis made a noncommittal noise in his throat as he eyed the shallots with distaste. When he handed Prompto his serving, their fingers brushed and he looked up to see a hint of pink coloring his cheeks.

Ignis nearly dropped the bowl in his surprise. He apologized, taking his hand away before he accidentally dumped the man's dinner down his front.

“By the Astrals,” Ignis cursed under his breath, turning away. He had never seen Prompto blush before. Considering the amount of teasing the man suffered, it was odd he had never been embarrassed to the point of flushing.

Inhaling a calming breath, Ignis took his dinner and joined the others. The last remaining chair was across the fire from Prompto. Glancing across the flames, he saw the blond look away. Now that he knew how Prompto felt, it was so painfully obvious. How had he never seen it before? It was quite adorable, actually.

A thought struck Ignis and he hid his amusement by sipping broth from his spoon. Noctis had made the comparison often in regards to Prompto's hair, but the young man was more like a chocobo than he realized. Flighty until you hard its trust, then companionable and affectionate. Though the same could be said about most baby animals. One could compare Prompto quite easily to a cautious yet enthusiastic kitten, or to an eager puppy.

“You gotta be more careful, Prompto,” Gladio scolded, gesturing with his spoon. The big man leaned forward in his chair, the black wings tattooed on his massive shoulders stretching.

“Huh? But I was! Not my fault the baby garula came outta nowhere!”

“Those things aren't small, you should have felt it barreling toward you! Or heard it, at the very least.”

“You try firing a gun two feet from your head and then tell me how easy it is to hear anything!” Prompto grumbled, sticking his tongue out at Gladio. “It was one little attention starved baby. The poor thing was probably orphaned.”

“We killed the MTs anyway, so it wasn't a big deal,” Noctis said, keeping his eyes on his food.

“Maybe this time, but it might be if you keep getting distracted,” Gladio growled.

“Gladio, stop picking on him. He has just as much control over wild beasts as you or I,” Ignis told to the man, hooking one leg over the other.

Even in the deep shadows of the firelight, Ignis could see the blush deepen on Prompto's cheeks.

“You don't have to defend his mistakes, Iggy.”

“And you hardly need to be such a crab,” Ignis huffed.

Noctis, Prompt, and Gladio's jaws dropped as they looked at Ignis.

“Who shoved a stick up your ass?” Gladio grumbled, raising a brow.

“Gladio,” sighed Ignis, “what occurred this afternoon was hardly Prompto's fault. Did we blame you when a coeurl kitten befriended you, bringing her mother upon us? Did we blame Noctis when an oddly curious Tonberry youngling followed us around for an entire night? No, of course not. Just because a battle did not go as planned, does not necessarily mean it is anyone's fault.”

Pouting indignantly, Gladio slouched in his chair and scowled at his soup.

“Ha!” barked Noctis, smirking. “Good job, Specs. You rendered Gladio speechless!”

“Not my intent. I was merely pointing out why the sloppy battle this afternoon was blameless.” Dipping his spoon into his soup, Ignis fished out a large chunk of meat. His eyes found Prompto's across the fire and he smiled softly. The blond returned the expression.

“We do attract a lot of weird animal and daemon attention, don't we?” Prompto chuckled. “Can't forget the time that Gigantuar kept trying to hug you, Ig'!”

“I'm not entirely convinced it wasn't merely trying to impale me at close range.”

Gladio smirked, sitting up again. “What about that day when we stopped for a break and a daggerquill perched on your shoulder?”

“It musta thought his hair was straw it could use for a nest,” Noctis teased, snorting as he dropped his spoon into his empty bowl.

“No need to be rude, Highness,” scoffed Ignis.

As they chatted, the men finished their meal. After dinner, Noctis, Prompto, and Gladio amused themselves with a round of King's Knight while Ignis cleaned up. He politely declined their invitation to join their game and set to storing away leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Halfway through washing up dishes, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

“Ignis, c'n I talk to you?”

Drying his hands, Ignis looked down at Prompto, who was deftly avoiding his gaze. “Of course.”

Hooking his thumbs into his belt and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Prompto peeked up at Ignis. “Thanks for sticking up for me. I appreciate it.”

“Think nothing of it. Gladio was out of line, and he enjoys picking on you. Try not to take his words to heart.”

“I-I know, but even Noct doesn't stick his neck out for me against Gladio.” Prompto flashed a quick, uneasy grin.

Ignis did not like the self-deprecating tones of that grin. “Prompto, don't let a few little words get in your head like this. You are strong. You are reliable. I trust you to have my back in a war zone just as much as I would Noctis or Gladio. We have all made mistakes, and we learn from them. You're fine as you are.”

Prompto's cheeks turned red as a Lucian tomato. His jaw dropped, but no words came out.

“Come, now. No need to blush.” Ignis smirked, tilting his head to try and hold Prompto's gaze. He knew he was teasing, and he felt awful doing so, yet he couldn't seem to help himself.

A tiny squeak escaped Prompto's throat. His hands shot up to cover his face as his blush spread to his ears and down his neck.

“Hey, Specs!”

Ignis glanced up over Prompto's spiky blond hair to where Noctis and Gladio stood on the other side of camp. “Yes?”

“There's a catfish I wanna catch at the lake. It only comes out at night, so I'm taking Gladio with me,” said Noctis, jerking his thumb at their friend.

“Do be careful,” Ignis replied, nodding. He watched the pair disappear into the dark before turning his attention back to Prompto. The young man had dropped his hands, but his face remained bright red. Ignis had to force himself not to reach out and ruffle his hair.

“So, uh, it's just you and me for a bit, hey?”

“Would you like to help me clean up the last of the dishes?”

Prompto's eyes brightened at the prospect. “Sure! Where do ya want me?”

Ever the adorable, eager puppy. “Here is fine,” Ignis replied, handing over a towel. “If you could dry while I wash, I would greatly appreciate it.”

Bouncing the three steps to Ignis' make-shift wash station, Prompto started drying the dishes which had already been cleaned. Ignis smirked down at his basin as they settled into a quiet routine. Dishes clinked together, water swished, and ambient wildlife sounds filled any voids. Occasionally their hands touched and Prompto would jerk back, mumbling an apology. It was cute, yet so unlike his boisterous, cheery self, it pained Ignis.

Ignis' brow twitched behind his glasses. He hadn't noticed yesterday how rapidly Prompto's mood could shift when something was on his mind. He hadn't noticed many things about the young man before now. It was painful to his pride as a strategist. He was supposed to observe people, his surroundings, to know exactly what needed to be said or done. How could he miss so many things about someone who was supposed to be a close friend and ally?

“Hey, Iggy?”

“Yes?”

“Um, Noct and Gladio won't be back for a while. Wanna take a look at the pictures I took today?”

“I'd very much enjoy that, Prompto.” Smiling, Ignis extended his hand, indicating for Prompto to precede him.

Grinning that sweet, sunshiny grin, the young man bounded off to get his camera. Dropping to his knees to scramble into the tent, Prompto kicked his feet behind him, whistling. Ignis caught himself watching Prompto wiggle his rear end from side to side as he reached for his camera. Adorable. Anyone would be lucky to have such a sweet young man love them. Cindy didn't know what she was giving up by turning him away.

An unpleasant twang stabbed Ignis' heart. What was this awful feeling? Ignis folded his arms across his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. A finger pressed between his furrowed brows a moment later and he opened his eyes to see Prompto grinning up at him.

“Keep frowning like that and you'll get wrinkles!” Prompto teased.

Ignis consciously eased his frown. “Shall we sit?”

“Sure.” Grabbing a chair, Prompto positioned it next to another and flopped heavily into the seat. He curled a leg beneath him and powered on his camera.

Sitting more gently in the other chair, Ignis watched Prompto find the beginning of the day's pictures. His green eyes traveled from the bright screen to Prompto's profile. The glow from the camera display was harsh, but even it didn't mar the young man's attractive features. His parted lips shone with moisture, the curve of his nose was soft, his eyes sparkled brightly with excitement, and his freckles popped against his pale skin.

Ignis realized tonight was the first time he actually looked at Prompto. The first time he studied his face, drank in each spot, each strand of hair, eyelash, everything. The idea of Prompto being attracted to him wasn't quite as odd a concept now. It was exciting, different, fun. Being with Prompto would be fun, and he definitely needed more of that in his rather dull existence.

“Noct looks so dorky here!” Prompto declared, laughing as he held out the camera.

“A rather unflattering image to be sure,” chuckled Ignis.

Prompto clicked to the next picture. This one was a fantastic shot of Ignis mid-flip. “You look so cool here.”

“It's nothing special,” Ignis assured him.

“So modest!” The next picture was Ignis as well, snapped just as he released his daggers. Two more battle shots of the man followed.

“I seem to have caught your eye today,” Ignis observed, raising an eyebrow and sliding his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

“You do every day!”

Ignis blinked at Prompto.

When his words sunk in, Prompto's face lit up and his jaw hit the ground. He sputtered, brows drawn, periwinkle eyes wide. After a moment of incoherent babbling, he gave up, slouching in his chair.

“I'm flattered, Prompto. Though this is the perfect time for me to get something off my chest.”

The blushing blond barely cast him a sidelong glance.

“Last week when we made a stop in Old Lestallum, I overheard a conversation between you and Noct. I had no intention of listening in, and I do feel dreadful about it, but I heard you tell Noctis you harbor certain feelings for me.”

The color drained from Prompto's face. “Oh no.”

“It's alright, Prompto.”

“I'm sorry, Iggy. I know it's weird, and I'm really sorry you found out. I don't wanna bother you or anything, and I won't act any different. It just sorta came out of the blue and I, like, respect you a ton, and you're so cool and handsome all the time, and—”

“Prompto.” Ignis' voice was stern, enough to cut off the young man's babbling. “Listen to what I was saying without interruption, please.”

Eyes wide, the blond nodded.

“It's alright. At first, I admit it was an odd prospect. On the rare occasion growing up when I was informed an individual had a crush on me, I was always baffled. I would think to myself they probably wouldn't fancy me were they to actually know me. But you know me as a person, not the aloof bookworm everyone always took me for. This is why I'm a little shocked, honestly. Out of everyone, why me? You and Noctis are so close, so similar, you're a much better match. Gladio, though pushy, would even be a more suitable partner than myself. Not to mention all the women out there who would absolutely love to be with you.”

Prompto stared at Ignis, slack-jawed. “What? No! Iggy, you're amazing. You're so good at everything you do, you're confident, brave, have a big heart, and you don't put up with our crap. You're a great guy, Ignis.” His words started off strong, defensive, but melted into a mumble when he remembered he was pouring his heart out to the object of his desires.

Sighing, Ignis sat forward, propping his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together.

“I know I'm not as important as you, or as skilled as you or anything, but I think you're awesome. None of this would be the same if you weren't here. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable now or something.”

Ignis wasn't sure why, but he felt a burn of tears in his eyes. Not a sensation he had experienced in many years. Reaching under his glasses, Ignis rubbed at the corners of his eyes. “Nothing you could do would make me uncomfortable, Prompto. Your earnest, frank nature is breathtakingly refreshing in this world of liars and schemers.”

Prompto's brow twitched into a frown as he leaned forward to investigate the odd hitch in Ignis' voice. The orange glow of the fire made the moisture on the man's cheeks glitter. Shooting from his chair, Prompto fell to his knees in front of Ignis, putting his hands on the man's arms as he peered up into misty green eyes.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” Prompto's voice was fearful yet demanding as his eyes searched Ignis'.

Chuckling, Ignis smiled down at Prompto while wiping his eyes. “Thank you for your concern, love, but I'm quite alright.”

“L-l-l-love?” croaked Prompto, eyes wide.

Had he said that? It must have slipped out by accident, along with the tears. It was so rare he was painted in such a positive light with such honesty...he almost forgot what appreciation felt like when it wasn't in the form of grunts and groans from Noctis or shouted compliments from Gladio on the battlefield.

In a display of emotion befitting his twenty-three years, Ignis slid out of his chair and wrapped himself around Prompto. He hugged the blond with the ferocity of a touch starved young man, holding him like he might disappear should he let go. Ignis never knew he felt this way, never realized how much comfort he could get just through a simple hug. It was frightening.

“Whoa, Iggy!” Prompto tried to lean back to look into Ignis' eyes, but the man held him too tightly. He put his own arms around Ignis' back and his forehead to the crook of his neck. Prompto let himself be held and held Ignis in return. It was so warm and comfortable, Prompto felt his eyelids droop as he sat there, wrapped in Ignis' embrace.

Five minutes passed and Ignis sat back, clearing his throat. “I apologize. That was unbecoming of me.”

Prompto fell back on his butt and grabbed Ignis' hand. “When was the last time you hugged someone?” he asked, voice low.

Adjusting his glasses with his free hand, Ignis frowned. “I...I'm not entirely certain.”

Prompto's chest hurt. “Iggy...”

Sighing heavily, he stared into Prompto's eyes and squeezed his hand. “Will you allow me to indulge myself?”

Jaw dropping, Prompto stuttered for a moment.

“I am interested in returning your affections, Prompto. Please, I would very much like to hold you more.”

“W-what? Seriously?”

Ignis' brow twitched. “Perhaps I was mistaken? Do you not enjoy physical interaction? I thought with the way—”

“Iggy!” Prompto grinned. “You think too much. I just never ever expected to hear this from you. It's just surprising to hear when the person you've been crushing on for months tells you they like you back. I'm just...kinda freaking out a little.”

“So...you'll allow me to hold you as much as I desire?”

“Of course! I'll never let you go hungry,” he said with a wink.

“I'm sorry?”

“Skin hungry. Touch starved, y'know? People need contact.”

“Ah. Please, feed me then.” The corner of Ignis' mouth quirked up in a smirk.

Prompto blushed but returned the smile. “Only if you do the same.”

Reaching out, Ignis pulled Prompto against his chest and squeezed him tight. He brushed his lips against the soft hair at his temple. It was unusual how this felt like the most natural thing in existence now. An hour ago he couldn't have pictured this if he tried.

“I suspect Noct and Gladio will be some time yet. Shall we ready for bed? I'm curious to see what it will feel like to sleep with someone in my arms.”

“In this weather? Prob'ly hot and uncomfortable. But I'm willing to try if that's what you want,” Prompto told him, giving him a shy glance.

“I would like nothing more, dear Prompto.” Getting to his feet, he helped Prompto up and admired the deep flush in his cheeks. He brushed his calloused thumb across his freckled skin.

“Is...is your cut okay?” Prompto mumbled, taking Ignis' free hand in both of his. He examined the thin red scab before bringing it to his lips and kissing the pad of his thumb.

“Much better, thank you.” Dropping his hand, he straightened his spine and looked down at the young man. “Alright now, enough dillydallying. Off to bed.” Smirking, he pinched the blond's backside.

Prompto squeaked, jumping. “Ignis!”

“It'll be a flat hand if you don't hurry along,” he teased.

“You're not, like, a sadist are you? Cause I'm totally not into that,” Prompto said, crossing the camp to the tent.

Pushing his glasses up, Ignis crossed his arms. “Hardly. You smack Noctis' backside often, so I thought I'd return the favor. Think of it as...light encouragement.”

Prompto kicked his boots off and crawled into the tent. “Dude, I get to cuddle with the most attractive man on all of Eos. I don't need encouragement.”

Following Prompto into the tent, Ignis chuckled. He didn't know how else to respond. Being held in such high regard was a new experience for him. Prompto was adorable and honest and painfully sweet. It was too much, yet not nearly enough.

Silently the men changed into their sleep clothes and settled down on Ignis' bedroll. Lying on his side, Ignis pulled Prompto against his chest. He propped his chin on top of gel-prickly blond hair and wrapped his arms around his back. Closing his eyes, he sighed softly.

“I must admit, this was hardly how I believed my evening would go,” Ignis whispered, tracing lazy circles in the center of Prompto's back.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw a wrench in the works,” mumbled Prompto, his voice muffled by Ignis' chest.

“Nonsense. It was unexpected, not bad. You hardly need to apologize for being a sweet, caring person.” Ignis didn't need to see Prompto to know he was blushing this time, he could feel the heat radiating from his face. “Now shush and go to sleep.”

“...Night, Ignis.”

“Goodnight, Prompto.”

~oOo~

“Better luck next time, Highness,” laughed Gladio, smacking the much smaller man on the back and nearly knocking him over.

“Eh, my heart wasn't in it anyway. Too concerned about leaving Prom alone with Specs.”

“Right. Actually forgot that's why we left in the first place. How do you think Sunshine made out?”

“It's hard to say with Specs. Could go either way.”

“I never really could picture him dating anyone, y'know?”

“Ignis? Yeah, I know what you mean. But Prompto's been fawning over him for months. I figured I'd give him a little push. Either it'll work out, or Specs'll tell him why it won't.” Noctis shrugged as they climbed back up to the haven.

“Either they killed each other, or they went to bed because no one's here,” replied Gladio, raising an eyebrow at the dying fire.

Noctis strode past Gladio, heading straight for the tent. Poking his head inside, he put his hand to his mouth to stifle a snort. Joining Gladio again, he stared at the fire.

“Well?”

“Looks like they figured it out.”

Gladio slung his arm around Noct's shoulders. “Does that mean we can stop hiding?”

“And have Iggy fussing about my health more than he does? No way.”

“You sayin' he might be worried I'd split you in half?” teased Gladio, grinning from ear to ear.

Noctis punched the big guy in the chest.

“Ow!” Gladio laughed, rubbing his pec. “Okay, I'll keep a lid on it until you decide.” Leaning down to cover the vast height difference, Gladio kissed his prince.

“Wanna sleep under the stars tonight?” Noctis asked when they parted.

“I'll get our stuff.”

“Good, cause I'm not going back in that tent tonight.”

A low chuckle rumbled Gladio's chest and he hugged Noctis close. “Wuss.”

[deiliamedlini]

Whumptober 2021- The Darkness I Know

Chapter 2

No. 2 - TALKING IS OVERRATED

garotte | choking | gagged

Fic Summary: After the world as she knew it was destroyed by the corruption of Malice, Zelda allies herself with her saviors from captivity: a disgruntled former governor, an alert paramedic, a cocky pilot, an excessively overt optimist, and a blind strategist. While the corrupted, malice-filled Yiga Clan looks for revenge on them, Zelda has to learn how important it is to find family in others... and how much more dangerous the stakes become if she fails to protect them.

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In the darkness, the memories of her time before finding safety in Mabe Village crept up to haunt her tenfold.

There were days when she’d been out in the world with her group, clinging to a knife in case a possessed monster felt hell-bent on attacking them with no regard for its own life and safety. She remembered all the fog that had taken over the air, alerting everyone to a concentration of Malice nearby. She remembered touching it for the first time, and the painful burn she felt from the simplest of touches.

While on the road, she’d taken to scavenging every piece of equipment she could find. She couldn’t breathe well, but once her coughing fit subsided, she stumbled over to every piece of debris she could find amidst the wreckage on the road until a warm water bottle rolled against her feet.

Never had she consumed anything so fast.

Until now.

It had been nearly a week since she’d been taken from her home, a home she’d made for herself, despite all odds. Now, she was in a long room with tall, vaulted ceilings, watching the red-suited Yiga pass back and forth for hours at a time each day as her only means of entertainment. Dorian hadn’t come by, and there was no one around to hear her when she called out, hoping for an answer before the Yiga could bang the bars of her glorified cage to shut her up.

She was given a small bowl of grey gruel and barely a few sips of water to sustain her each day; barely enough to satisfy her.

But not this day.

Someone set down a giant slab of meat and an incredibly large drink in a golden goblet adorned with rhinestones. Something inside her warned her against unquestioningly eating it, but her survival instincts kicked in, and she needed food and drink. So, she hastily tore into the meal and drank her drink down.

Well, until she threw up.

“Eating too fast, are we?” a smooth voice asked from the shadows cast by the angle of the tall windows.

Zelda coughed as the unfamiliar sensation of her full stomach made her immediately regret every bite. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve before backing away from the bars of her cell, despite the approaching footsteps and her burning curiosity to see who it was.

Her ragged breathing filled the silence that was only shared by the sound of boots against the ground. Heavy boots, from the sound of them; someone larger. It took everything in her not to cough; she didn’t want to seem weak, ill, or fragile, so, she held her breath and waited.

A tall man bent down and peered at her through the bars before reaching his hand inside and taking her scraps away.

Zelda had her arms crossed in an attempt to look defiant, but she merely managed to look like she was concealing her stomachache worse than she was before.

Yellow eyes peered at her from the darkness. It had been days since she saw anyone’s eyes. And the man had red hair, long and flowing down his back, untamed and unruly to a point that it was clear this was a conscious decision not to take better care of it. She could see knots balled up that would be something awful to brush out.

And when he smiled, toothy and wide, Zelda shuddered.

“Dorian has been speaking highly of you. He’s convinced me that you’re worth keeping around. You must be sick of being in here, aren’t you? I can get you a room. One of my people was living in your village and says you’re a valued member of the community, a hard worker, and someone with a skill set we’re in dire need of. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?”

Food? A bed? Yes. Yes, she was interested. Any catch they had, any thoughts of escape… all of it could wait until she was thinking clearly, so she nodded, her throat still too dry to do her the favor of speaking.

“Come on then,” the man said, opening the cell.

Zelda cautiously made her way to the front, shaking hard as she did. The man was taller than he appeared, with Zelda barely coming to his neck. He was wide and muscular, and a threat if she’d ever seen one.

He placed his hand gently on her shoulder, leading her from the doorway and towards the hall, urging her forward when she just wanted to stop. The rocking of each step unsettled her already precarious stomach, but she became accustomed to walking again after three days of her small cell, and started to feel it less and less.

“Have you heard of us?” the man asked as they walked. “The Yiga Clan?”

She had. Almost everyone had.

The Yiga were known for their ruthless tactics, fighting skills, and stealth. It hardly surprised her to know that someone in her village was a spy for the elite organization.

The fact that it was Dorian surprised her, but not the fact that they were there at all.

They’d been around for years, but when the Malice spread, they all but threw themselves into it, succumbing to the power it held and fighting to harness it, no matter the cost. No member of the Yiga Clan was any longer affected by the substance that still spilled all along Hyrule Field and infested former towns, cities, and villages. The roads were untravellable. Small communities of survivors were mostly relegated to stay in an area they deemed safe. But not the Yiga.

That was her life. The Yiga were free from those constraints.

“Yes,” she croaked out, clearing her throat before trying again. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Zelda shuddered again, both from the sudden cold of their long walk to the eerie tone of his voice. “I’m Zelda,” she said in an attempt at building rapport with this horrifying beast of a human.

He hummed. “I know.”

Dorian. Zelda shook her head and kept her eyes down. Obviously he knew.

And with his silence, she realized he wasn’t about to offer up that same information.

“What do you have in mind for me? I can work on whatever it is you need me to.” Her throat burned, tightening up at the rasp of her words.

“Oh, this and that. You’ll rest before we put you to work. Can you fight?”

“I can survive.”

He grinned up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. “We’ll see.”

Zelda winced at his comment and looked around for danger. All she saw was a man with blue hair in a cell of his own, watching her. He was the only potential threat beside the man with her.

“Is there a test?” she choked out, needing more water.

“Everything is a test, Zelda.”

He stopped them both and moved in front of her, watching her with little more than interest. And then Zelda realized why.

Her throat, burning from its desire for water, wasn’t dry; it was swelling.

And she suddenly couldn’t breathe.