#Danke Andy!

[morgansmornings]

“Better than Beth,” he beams as he hands the card over to her, a brow raised daring her to challenge him. “And you’ll always be my girl.”

                                                             ~~~*~~~

From this.

“Bragging. Is that what we’re choosing?” She snerked before reaching for her glass. Swallowing down what she drank from it he set it back and turned her attention to the laptop that had her current delivery order site up. ““Your personal nightmare maybe. Forever swimming in a sea of angst because I got away.”  She couldn’t help but smirk at him.Enjoying the normalcy of their teasing relationship. 

“besides we both know she is far cuter than either of us.” 

[casualfoxwitch]

[spiltymilkyartyblogy]

That one steven meme redraw thats been going around

[jewishchicken]

27 is soooo saturday

———————————————

i honestly dont know how to tag without sounding cringe anymore so im doing ones from like 2017

[gamergal-ds]

When you sick of waiting for high and consistent quality rips of the OST to hit youtube so you just buy all the songs and pull up the game to do your homework

[thegirlinthecher]

[pageroastthepig]

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"Bakery ownerKai! Smutty hcs:"

✰---Summary: you pass this new bakery so often. and from what you can tell from just through the windows, it's full of cheer and life. whoever uses it makes the most of the small space. their personality really shines through in the decorations and the desserts looked good and well... you couldn't deny that the baker with the apron and the broad shoulders looked good in there as well. so you decide to stop in. but this is only the beginning: now he smiles when he thinks of you and your cute interaction together, hoping you'd come back and then soon enough... you do.

✰--- approx: 20 min read

✰---A/n: idk if these are considered hcs anymore lol here's a fic to hopefully tide over y'all while I finish up on that much much longer one for Vernon. may or may not turn this into a full fic OR just another hc post. probably the second because of the Vernon fic coming out perhaps in two chapters. andI feel as if this would just be better in "hc " format. (Maybe some header images coming soon idk) trying to make my fics prettier do y'all like the life stars?

✰---warningz/info: cursing I think, lots of talk of eating and desserts, smutty, Kai jerks off, I have a little brake telling you where the NSFW starts, reader has boobs but otherwise is gn I think. and that’s about it.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper.” This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

if you don’t have an age indicator saying you’re not a minor in your blog then I will be blocking you! So minors dni!!

••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bakery owner!Kai who whips his head around spilling chocolate on the floor when he hears your voice for the first time. He has just opened the shop, it was a hole in the wall and cutesy— plushies and Pokémon character figurines on the shelves, stuff like that. You saw it then you saw him. With his powdered sugar dusted apron from the doughnuts this morning. And in this moment he realizes how very, extremely, dank he looks right now. His eye bags are dragging down his face like circles of hell, he hadnt had time to do much anything about it this morning. His hair isn’t really done. He had slept through his first alarm (something he hasn’t done is forever) and had to get here, to make the stupid doughnuts early because well, he’s the only worker here. Ugh why did I have to conserve on money this way? He thought to himself. The bowl clatters with a reverberating and embarrassing clang. He cringes, quickly going to pick it up as you greet him so so so cutely he thinks his heart will explode.

Bakery owner!Kai who’s blush on his cheeks looks so adorable to you you have half a mind to tell him. You’d Been passing this shop for days but you’d finally gotten a chance to go in this morning. He’d never know, but you’d looked into your phones selfie camera to fix your appearance one last time before going in after taking a deep breath. And you smile at the way he endearingly shares the story of how he got the shop with you.

Bakery owner!Kai who somehow feels so comfortable with you quickly when you ask about the weird names for all his desserts. He says it’s a long story and you tell him you’ve got all the time in the world for it. And he smiles wide and your knees go weak. And then because of the air of the shop you carried in with you when you set foot into the place or vibe you give off he doesn’t know but he just blabbers on and on about why he named the desserts what he did

◆◆◆◆◆nsfw under the cut◆◆◆◆◆

Bakery owner!Kai who hopes and prays that you’ll be back. and that night he can’t get you out of his head. oh no.... he really can't. and he almost feels bad when the thought of you and your sweet as sugar smile is being tossed around in his mind, making his stomach do flips as his weeping cock is dripping onto his fist. and he just can't.... stop. not that he wants to. hes pretty sure your imagine is burned in his mind till the day he dies... ok, maybe a little over exaggerated but you get the point. but now he can't think. his mind his clouded with how he should've invested in more business cards. so he could've given you one and maybe suavely told you to call him if you ever had a sugar emergency

ok... that was a little cheesy so maybe not. but who the hell knows, maybe you'd like it?! he'd gone over that small interaction you two had that day-- wondering, even though it was all a blur, how he made you feel; comfortable? at ease? oh, he hopes so. even the way he handed the box to you, with a free pastry in there as well, of course, tied with his best, perkiest ribbon all neatly. he wanted to make sure it was perfect for you. even if he never saw you again, even if you both forgot in a weeks time. he wanted to make a good impression while he had the chance.

he even worried about how the pastry tasted. though, he was confident in his skills with his passion he couldn't help but think about it all the rest of that day. which... when he though about it... seemed lonely without you in his shop. was it a good texture? flavors balanced enough? not the slightest hint of staleness? he made sure to grab one from the back of the display counter to make sure.

"you must really wanna see them again?" his friend joked "youre in looooveeee"

Bakery ownerKai! who, when he says that, rolls his eyes at Beomgyu, the friend with powdered sugar caked on his face thicker than he could grow his own beard to be. who was sitting at his table, getting crumbs all over it with the weird way he was sitting.... with his feet... all over the booth. Not even with shoes on! just bare feet. which kai honestly didnt mind much. he lets his friends eat here when hes closing up and nobody's around all the time. they'll usually clean out the couple things here and there that didnt sell and would've been thrown away anyways.

so when he drops his broomstick, almost shrieking, whisper yelling at Beomgyu to get his feet off the furniture, his friend at question is a little bit confused but does it anyway.

Baker ownerKai! who's nonchalant and laughing at his friends comment shaking his head and thinking to himself: no no, thats not true. pfff this guy is outta his mind! that was... until he saw you walk in again. "hello! I know you're closing in like--" you check your phone, "five minutes. but would you mind? that dessert I got a bit back was so good I had to literally run here from work to get the same one." he nods, smiling. and Beomgyu sits up straight in his seat at the way you two are just sitting there.... looking at each other for just a little too long. Kai swiftly drops down to pick up the broom he had dropped before leading you to the counter.

"sorry about that. I was just setting up traps for any burglars, but I trust you'll pay right?" he chuckles and you laugh along with him. "if I didnt pay then id never be able to have any more of this delicious delicacy, am I right?" you joke back. he nodes and keeps up his very much not customer service smile and gets you the dessert he remembers giving you in a box. "aw thank you!" he places the tongs down into the sink "thats really sweet of you! was it that good?" he turns back around to face you, closing up the box and you can't help but stare at the way his hands flex when his nimble fingers are pushing that box closed.

you realize youre taking too long to respond, "no seriously, it was!" you lean excitedly on the counter, bouncing on your heels. "and thats why I had to come back for more., and why I need to pay and leave a generous tip" you chuckle, already counting out the cash for the little doughnut shaped tip jar. "or maybe I could just give it to you for free!" his back is turned, snipping a stand of that pretty expensive ribbon he used especially for yours last time and made sure to move towards the front of the ribbon rack in case you came back so that he'd reach it easily.

"wait? what? no! youre joking right?" he spins back around to you, smirk on his face. "not in the slightest." he chirps. then hands you the box. you stuff your tip in the jar. "no seriously! please, take the money." you weren't worried that he now might think you owe him, he seemed to nice for that. "and im serious too. its like one pastry. you'd be taking it off my hands and doing be a favor actually if you'd like to think of it that way that is. not that is isn't fresh." he shrugged. hes leaning in over the counter a little bit, apron bumping the iPad customers would use to pay. you open your mouth to say something but he stops you "you already tipped me! even if you didnt just take it. my treat."

you didnt know it but in his mind he was already dreaming of having one ready every week for when you came in. maybe a sticky note with his number one day too? "wow thanks so much! thats so sweet of you!" you hold the box closer to you and look down at it.

you also didnt know it, but hes his half hard cock is now pressed up against the cabinet under the counter. and hes trying not to imagine you with powered sugar on your nose... not a very sexual sight in itself he guesses, but something cute none the less and that won't do his situation any good. hes also trying not to think of you licking your fingers after the delicious dessert, or the way youre leaned over the counter even more now, giving him a perfect vantage point of your plush boobs that after accidentally seeing a peak of once he wants to never do so again.

hes mature, or at least needs to be about this. not that he doesn't want to. cause god he really wants to take a sneak peak down. who wouldn't? youre sweet and gorgeous, and funny! but he wants you to know who he really is. so thats why hes currently focusing really hard on your eyebrow and trying so damn hard not to even glance down in that general direction. even if he was doing something entirely different than peaking.... cause thats what gentleman does.

"wait how'd you know my order?"

and now hes back on earth. he scratches the back of his neck. "I uh" "were you hoping id be back?" you smile, obviously meaning it' as a joke. but he just smiles back "bakers memory," he taps his brain, "there a lot up here ya know. gotta remembers recipes and stuff" he takes it as a win cause it was a good distraction. you take it as a win cause he kinda just called you important... right?

you dont pay and see yourself out. as youre opening the door you sniff the box "ugh smells so good! can't wait. thanks again!" and just like that youre gone

Bakery ownerKai! who's friend who is usually such a yapper, is at a loss for words for a second after you leave until he simply says: "I get the feeling you'll be seeing them a lot"

~end~

I’m gonna do a part two/ make this into a full on fic eventually. Just wanted something to post until I finish the bigger fic I’m working on. If you liked it please leave some love like comments or a reblog!

Thanks for reading <3

Taglist: @bamtorin

[herzblau]

Text Folge 6

Andy: Ich war so dumm. Warum hab ich auch geglaubt, dass er mich mag? Osiris: Es war überhaupt nicht dumm, Andy. Börn ist nur diese Art von Mensch, der sich nicht auf eine Sache festlegen kann. Osiris: Ich meine, warum machst du dir jetzt einen Kopf darüber? Ist es das wert? Andy: Ich weiß nicht, ja vielleicht. Osiris: Du bist dir selbst nicht sicher, das spricht dafür, dass du erstmal auf eigenen Füßen stehen musst. Andy: Fuck! Ja! Man ich hasse sowas. Warum kann ich nicht einfach mal Glück haben? Osiris: Huch! He schon gut, du machst dir nur zu viele Gedanken darüber. Besser wäre es, wenn du nach vorne schaust. Andy: Ich weiß, aber das ist eben nicht leicht. Wie machst du sowas? Ich meine, warst du nicht auch mal in wen so sehr verliebt, dass du einfach nicht mehr weiter wusstest? Osiris: Oh, ja .. bestimmt war ich das mal. (*Andy küsste Osiris. Es passierte einfach und er wusste selbst nicht warum.*) Andy: Oh fuck, sorry, ich ... das wollte ich wirklich nicht. Osiris: He, das macht nichts, ich fand das echt nicht schlimm. Dir kochen gerade die Gefühle über, das ist ganz normal. Wie wäre es, wenn ich uns einen Tee koche? Andy: Danke ... ich wusste nicht, wie ich damit umgehen soll. Es tat einfach nur weh. Osiris: Komm her. Osiris: Der Tee kocht und ich glaube, ich muss da was richtig stellen. Andy: Ja? Osiris: Du warst frech und hast mir einfach einen Kuss gestohlen, obwohl ich das machen wollte. Andy: Ähm ... Osiris: Du musst dich nicht entschuldigen, ich hole mir einfach einen zurück. (*Osiris legte sanft die Hand, an seine Wange und küsste ihn zärtlich*) Andy (flüstert): Wer sagt, dass ich mich Entschuldigen wollte? Osiris (denkt): Oh Fuck, ich glaub ich hab ein echtes Problem!

Prev//Next

[258punkweight]

Is this the worst timeline? Are you a wolfaboo? An unbased turbovirgin twidiot westoid, perhaps? Maybe even an SJW triggered tumblrina vro fluent in Yapanese? Are you a dank topkek tradlarp theorycel? Perchance you slid into the dms of the soyjak aislop orange man bad refucklican? Did they hit the pentagon? Did the thicc thirsttrap they/them spoopy schizoposter romaboo ghost you on read? Was the rentoid roseboy your Roman Empire, sister in christ? You thought you were the react Andy to the unspoken skibidi rizz greypilled Mr. Beast clone? Was the Groyper Truecel Troll going your 13th reason why? You had enough ropefuel from your zoosexual PDF File unaliver f3t1sh1st vro getting called out and doxxed by the Sharty?

new copypasta just dropped

[bigkingxl0]

Tomorrow

A built god splitting logs in the backcountry of Vermont, glistening with sweat. Muscles rippled from his swift swing. He drove the axe head down and added the wood to the pile. He was nearly done collecting what he needed to fire up the wood stove through the rest of the year. A dream life built from the blood, sweat and tears of one ambitious man, on acres of land nobody else could say they owned. Far from civilization. Andy was surprised his phone even had reception at this part of his sprawling property. He was even more surprised to see Mom's contact photo staring back at him -- when did she ever call? -- but rested the tool against the chopping block and answered.

"Hey, what's up?"

"We need to talk."

Exactly what you want to hear from your mother. He offered to talk later but she rejected him, insisting they talk right there and then. He gathered up the flannel he'd discarded, phone pressed to his ear, and made his way back to his cranberry colonial.

She spoke sternly but vaguely. At first he didn't understand what happened and why he had to be recruited, at first. Sure, Andy lived through his shut-in gamer phase too, years ago, so he kind of understood it. He had his time with a carpet full of crumbs and 2 liters filled with piss. And other disgusting things. Lazy summers where WOW came first and everything else second. His parents had reacted the same way then. He grew out of it. Maybe it took a couple threats of military school and disownment, but he went to college and got his life together. Now look at him. A successful property manager and agricultural scientist who lived his truth and sold it to the masses. He wanted to laugh. Fly across the country and tell his brother to put up the controller and invest in deodorant? It was comical.

Arlo would grow out of it. He wanted to crack a joke about sending him off to the army, but Mrs. Menconi was not one to call and ask for anything. The subtle desperation got the best of himIf he didn't recover his brother from the dark side, he would lose access to the most powerful network in his life. Her image was on the line. It was also the least he could do was repay his dear mother. It had been a long time since he'd seen Arlo, too, so it was only fair. Half a decade of globetrotting for work, and his busy life had gotten in the way of things more than once before. He hadn't actually spoken to his sibling or anything in all that time. He'd be lying if he said he'd noticed, and that shook his reality. Too many years passed and not enough time spent together. No wonder his brother rebelled. Poor bastard probably hated his life. Now he had nothing in his upcoming schedule and his mother was practically begging him to intervene. He had to go.

Andy caught the soonest red eye with nothing but his laptop and farm clothes, unprepared for what faced him on the West Coast.

He hesitated at the bare condo door. He didn't actually know what to say to the kid. It wasn't like they had much in common. He shook his head and knocked, the charisma of a salesman taking over. If he could do it for work he could do it for family.

After several minutes, the door creaked open, and the stench hit before he could say hello. Andy tried not to screw his face up too much, and forced a smile at his younger sibling. "Hey, lil dude.”

"Oh... hey bro," Arlo groaned, caressing his stretchmarked gut. "Long time, no, URP, see. I hoped you were Domino's."

There was no life to his voice. He started his waddle back into the dark, dank house. Andy watched the sweat roll down his curves and drip from the ends of his greasy hair. Arlo plopped into his groaning gaming chair and pulled his headset on.

"Not even a how are ya?"

"I'm literally in a game, bro!"

He started to remember why they hadn't talked much in the past six years.

Stepping out with a phone call, he questioned what he was even doing there. What could he even do? Clean up after him until he decided to become a man? He dialed his mother but she didn't answer. At the end of the voicemail he left a text that said "Please." dropped in and knew he couldn't leave her hanging. He sighed and hung up the phone.

Andy slipped back into his brother's rotten, rent-free apartment and gently stepped around the landmine field that was the den. Heavy footsteps went into the kitchen, bags crinkled, then Arlo came in with an arm full of family sizes.

"We can hang out now, I guess.”

He dropped onto the disgusting couch with a groan. The greasy pile of take out boxes on the coffee table matched the swollen lard around his middle. He reached for the clicker and put on some annoyingly loud cartoon. The TV fueled his dead eyed stare.

"Arlo," he started, eyeing the blotchy, bloated sphere that was his brother. The words fell away from his lips without a sound.

"Yeah, dude?" His brother said it like the words were foreign, head too full of pretty TV shows too even listen.

"It's great to see you."

"UURRRRRAAP. Yeah..." His voice trailed off, thick with disinterest. His eyes were locked on the screen, only this time he brought chips to his mouth. "Same to you."

With his mind racing, Andy tried to figure out how deep he was and where the hell the shovel was. He rested on the arm of the couch, the most visibly clean surface in sight, and tried to seem as comfortable as possible. Part of him wanted to see the rest of his apartment. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stomach it. He watched along with the dumb cartoon his brother occasionally chuckled at between dabs and blasting videos on YouTube and Tiktok at max volume. Not a word said for an hour until the eldest brother broke the vocal silence.

"So much for hanging out huh?"

Arlo rolled his eyes. "Bro literally... toxic vibes for real."

Andy sucked his teeth. "Nothing you say actually makes sense, you know that?"

"Honestly bruh, we aren't, like, hanging out." Arlo lifted his leg and let out a bassy fart. Andy was afraid to breathe in the toxicity. With a satisfied look he continued. "You only came 'cause, like, I blocked mom."

"I came because you're my bro and I love you. And care about you."

"Uhuh, 'bro'", he said, air quotes and all. "You lie for a living and you're trash at it? You're such a beta."

"First of all my business is very successful-" he was interrupted by another reeking fart and a giggle.

"Yeah, that was a good one, mother fucker!"

Andy could feel himself losing brain cells. He fiddled in his bag for his airpods but they were dead. Typical. He sank angrily into the armrest and then stiffened just as quickly. God only knew what his hand hit in the cracks of the seat. He steeled himself, trying to muster as little judgment as possible, just like he'd been asked.

Not everyone cleans as rigorously. Not every tidies. He eyed his brother, trying to mask his disgust - not that he'd notice. Not everyone showers regularly. Or at all. His face crinkled at the scent wafting off Arlo. Pungent BO, old food, and stuffed farts. He wasn't sure what smelled worse, him or his festering apartment.

He added more to the list and actually felt his prejudices wavering. Not everyone eats healthy. Not everyone watches educational programs. Not everyone makes something of themselves -- and can be content with it. By the end of his list of "not everyone" he didn't have a single thing left to judge.

Andy knew then that the next few months would be very, very long. His brother had fallen asleep sitting there, one hand in an empty dominos box, the other on his dab torch. There was no clock in the house, his Apple Watch had died in the airport, his phone done then, too, and he felt tired in the darkness. He didn't even realize his eyes were fluttering. Tomorrow he would make a game plan, just like he would for his business. Break down exactly what went wrong, where, and what the comeback would be. It might take some time, but nothing was impossible with enough hard work. Satisfied, he dozed off.

---

That didn't go as planned. Arlo slept at bizarre times, which gave him time to look through the rest of the house. He thought it might be a good time to clean, but the trash was so dense that it seemed nearly impossible. Arlo didn't even seem to own any trash bags, and even after buying a box, Andy couldn't throw a tenth of the mess in the overfilled dumpster in the parking lot.

His clothes were covered in mysterious trash juices and food. Dirty and exhausted, he tried to shower, but there was no soap, shampoo, conditioner, not even a washcloth. He damned TSA for their liquid rules. This was already the trip from hell and it only compounded with every minute.

Andy found acceptable clothes in the depths of the grungy apartment. They weren't anything he'd choose to wear--a graphic tee with some game he'd never heard of and a pair of sweats obviously too small for Arlo--but they sufficed. He wasn't going to buy real clothes to ruin in this cesspool. He figured he could just go into goodwill later and get some throwaways to tide him over if necessary.

It didn't work like he planned, not unlike everything else he'd planned so far. He'd taken an uber from the airport to Arlo's, with the idea of borrowing his brother's car for the week or even renting one. He came to find there was no car rental place for miles with a vehicle available, and his brothers beaten 90's Civic was long overdue for services and remained unstartable.

It felt like now, or never. Originally he'd planned to work during this whole debacle but he saw that was nigh impossible. He left a quick memo to his remote workers that he was taking an emergency leave and to continue any major projects and manage themselves for a little bit. He knew they were up to the task.

The next few days went that same, Andy bagging up as much trash as humanly possible until he was too weary to continue, and Arlo piling it up just as fast. It was fruitless, much like the kitchen fridge, and Andy felt as though he might genuinely lose his sanity holed up in the trash den.

They went back and forth with each other a hundred times over the weeks over this. Sometimes as friends and sometimes mortal enemies. Sometimes it seemed like his brother was coming around. He could get him to clean up after himself. Then he was cooking meals instead of ordering them, shaving, showering. Normal people stuff. Andy even got him to cut down on dope smoking and gaming. But he could never get anything truly clean or put together or even decent. It was always kind of cluttered, bad, stinky, or some other awful thing that drove Andy nuts.

"I'm going to take you out."

"Like, kill me?"

"Out to a bar or something! Around people your age."

"I'm good with that, chief," Arlo said, shaking his head.

"It's celebratory, and mandatory," Andy waved his hand. "No get out of jail free card."

"And walk there?" "I connected with some of my people and arrange a private transport to a-"

"Fine. But you're picking up the tab."

"I planned on it, turd," he said, the eldest brother snark returning as if they were kids again.

The way Andy saw it, a chick would steer Arlo on the right course, fast. That had worked for a million guys more than once, him included. What he hadn't expected was that most of the single ladies wanted to talk to him instead. He tried to distance himself from his brother and blend in with the crowd, but the bar was small and Arlo could spot the cowboy talking from a mile away. In the end, two drunk Menconi boys with a single plus one. She tangled herself around the chiseled body of the eldest brother, with half an outfit less than what she started with.

Andy woke up still drunk with a dead phone and no other belongings. He could tell it was afternoon from the sun through the blinds, but this was not Arlo's place. A mangled charger in the kitchen brought his phone to life and he escaped with an Uber, careful not to wake his new friend, who was sprawled out on the floor in front of the door.

Arlo had left the front door unlocked. Disgusting slapping and plapping and moaned nonsense echoing through the house when he walked in. Arlo, naked except for VR headset and headphones, tugging on himself and surrounded by take out boxes. He slammed the door shut and covered his mouth, turning away from that grotesque sight and running into the hall.

He couldn't get the picture out of his mind. Rolls wobbling and the squelchy fart noises and whorish groaning... he rubbed his eyes but it didn't help. All he wanted to do was lay on the couch. As far as he knew that was now all contaminated, not like he wanted to be in the house right now anyway. He slithered back into the elevator and made way to his rental car, kicked back the seat and slept his regrets off.

When he awoke again he felt sober enough to tackle that ordeal. Bounding up the steps and opening the door to a quiet house. He looked from side to side. It had never been quiet in here, between TV looping, gamer shouting and fat dude snoring. He listened and at the edge of his hearing he heard crinkling. He looked for the culprit under his feet or among the garbage and found nothing. Then he heard the heavy footsteps of Arlo and a belch that confirmed it.

"Got something for you broski," he said, coming from the back room. "But I gotta test it first."

"What? And look, about earlier-" Andy started but trailed off when he saw Arlo loading a familiar looking bong. He took a hit as if in example and ripped a fart as he stepped closer.

"This might be more your speed dude. Remember this shit?"

"You're joking-" he was interrupted by another reeking fart and bong rip.

"pffprprPRFRBFFTBT--nyeahehehe, smoke it!"

"Okay, you're not joking," he said, mouth watering with nausea but too shocked to move. "How the fuck did you get this?"

"I was nine, I wasn't dumb. I hid this first and then told mom about your stash." "You told them!?"

"Old news bro, just smoke."

"It's not time to smoke! I need to-"

"It's ALWAYS the time to smoke," his pothead brother blew a lungful of pen smoke in his face. "C'mon, like, relax!"

He hadn't done anything like that since college, and he wasn't sure he wanted to start again. He eyed the glass piece like it might blow up in his face.

"Arlo, you know I'm here to set you straight right? To get you off of this... stuff? Make you an adjusted member of society like the rest of the family?"

"Bruh... don't be a loser."

"You have to understand how worried everyone is-"

"C'mon, bro, like," he exhaled more smoke. "You're not even gonna, like, take a big rip? With your bro?" His tone was both inviting and mocking.

"Arlo, you're kidding, you can't just expect me to smoke weed of all things, at this point in my life-"

"Bruh, if you ain't hanging, you're not welcome. I don't G-A-F about an intervention," He let out a drawn out fart that smelled acrid, and took another hit. "Smoke, or go."

"Fine, yeah, okay... bro," Andy said, mom's voice spinning around his mind.

The faster he gained his brother's trust, the faster he could get on the redeye flight back home. Not to mention, Arlo hadn't exactly been welcoming - was this his way of bonding? Was this him letting down his guard? Andy rubbed his eyes and took the bong. "One, and that's it."

Arlo put a cap over the chamber and intense hot smoke entered Andy's lungs, making him cough and gag. He stopped immediately, hacking and spitting and snotting. He choked out some obscenities.

"Let's goo!! Hit that shit man!"

"What the fuck," he said between gasping coughs, spittle flying. "Was that even weed? Fuck is that!?"

"Moonrock, broski....weed and wax rolled in kief."

His head swam in circles. He must have sat there for an hour, infinitely sinking into the disgusting cushion of the disgusting couch. His mind was everywhere else but paying attention to how disgusting it all really was, and he almost understood how his slovenly brother had gotten to this point.

"Jesus H..."

"One more! One more!" His brother handed him the piece again, hot and ready to go. Somehow he felt that Arlo was influencing him, and not the other way around. He figured if he smoked enough he could just go to sleep and try again tomorrow.

So he smoked, coughed, smoked some more, floating through spacetime and drooling on himself while his brother played videos that soothed him. In his brain he was out on an undiscovered frontier and afraid of what he might face. In reality he was potbrained and glued to the couch while Arlo fed him chips and baby talked him.

"Poor dude. You're probably thirsty too, here bro," and let him drink coke, "sorry, bro, forgot you probably got the munchies, sorry I got you couchlocked," and gave him scraps of food. "Damn bro, you look totally boofed right now."

Andy couldn't figure out what that meant. He could see his brother's lips moving and he could hear this noise that really sounded like Arlo, but nothing made sense to him.

"What the fuck, dude?" Is what he wanted to say, but it came out as a groaning moan that his brother just laughed at.

"Aww don't worry dude, this won't last forever. I love being blasted... it doesn't last long enough! BRRAAAAAP. It'll all be over tomorrow."

Through the distortion he could understand that his brother was comforting and caring for him. It was the most emotion he had really shown towards him the whole time he'd be there. Plus, like Arlo said, his head would be attached to his body again by tomorrow.

Andy couldn't stop smiling. That might have been the weed making his head spin around the room. It felt nice either way.

---

The more Andy warmed up to his brother, the more often days ended like that. In one way or another. They were closer than ever. They no longer fought, but Andy didn't push him as hard either. He felt bad pushing him too much... it always ended up with a fight and more stress, and how could that possibly be helping?

It was also easy to lose track of time. Easier to give in to cravings with junk always available. He forgot about his disciplines slowly but surely, until he was only a more put together facsimile of Arlo. Though that whittled away too, as his slobbish tendencies grew and he picked more things up from his brother.

It was bound to happen.

It was impossible to escape.

Arlo was getting worse, and so was Andy. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Forever. He'd slipped enough to make a habit of smoking again, but that wasn't the worst vice he indulged in alongside his brother. The mind-numbing channel surfing, the screen-casted tiktok thirst traps, the mountain of artery-clogging fast food they consumed daily... the worst part was the fact that Andy was enjoying it. A lot. He couldn't stop getting high and he couldn't stop stuffing himself. He had never gained weight this fast in his life: every meal stretched his stomach, grew his capacity, and made him greedier for more. He reasoned that as long as he wasn't as big as Arlo, it was okay.

In reality he'd basically polymorphed into his younger brother. His beard grew much faster than Andy's and he hadn't cut it, same with his greasy hair. His midsection was bloated with salt and even when it wasn't it was bigger than it had ever been in his life. His fingernails were dirty with resin. He'd blown up so many sizes he'd graduated into Arlo's old clothes.

"Wanna smoke again, bro?"

They shared the same glassy eyed look at the TV. What was one tolerance shredding dab going to do? He was already in too deep. He took the piece and ripped it like a pro, never taking his eyes off the tiktok thot his brother was obsessed with.

"I've followed her onlyfans, PRRFFTTT, like, since she made it," he said like it was an accomplishment. "She even shouted me out for like, bRRRAP, donating. Talking all sexy and flashing her titties."

"SHE shouted YOU out?"

"Yah, bro, I'm like her highest dono," he giggled at that, smoke oozing from his mouth. "And her highest sperm dono..."

Andy mindlessly rubbed the ice cold can of coke across his sensitive nipple. It was hard to think... and every time he noticed how hard it was to think his mind would drift to how hard he was. His thoughts thickened quicker than he had.

"She... she shouted you out...? For donating money?" He said his words like they were too thick.

"That's her job, dude, to like, get us off."

"Why am I so horny?" He thought, but wondered if he said it aloud.

"Yeah bruh, it's lit," Arlo said, winking.

Andy had never been into the whole scene. Okay, yeah, old playboys and stuff when he was younger, maybe some old school DVDs. When he really became successful he just didn't have time for it. He had real sexual encounters with real women that had real interest in him.

This still felt kind of real. He looked on at the TV, the only thing that made a lot of sense in his clouded head, and felt his shorts tent more.

"Dayummm she thick!" A glint of self recognition; he sounded just like Arlo. Then Ms. Tiktokverse bent over and he was thinking with the other head again.

"Facts bro... Don't worry, I'll leave you two alone. I got her snapchat so I've seen every sfw angle like a million times."

His brother scooted a lotion closer to him and waddled back to his room, farts and moans leaking out of him every other step. Andy could see his grimy tented shorts too, and knew his brother would be busy for an hour or two.

Andy watched the livestream, ignoring the thousands of comments pouring in. Months ago he wouldn't have believed he'd ever sink this low, yet here he was, ogling some girl that didn't even know his name, doing the most sex-adjacent things she could on a PG site.

"Heyyy Arlo, thanks for the donation, sweetheart.This one is for Arlo's brother...Hey, Andy!"

Correction, she did know his name. He eyed the comments that joked about his inceldom, needing his brother to get this girl's attention for him, but quickly went back to ogling. He reached down into his shorts he'd outgrown, but his arm was too fat to fit comfortably. He settled for sliding them down slightly and exposing his growing fatpad.

"Mmm, Andy, I hope you're enjoying every minute of this~"

She winked and smiled, before saying she needed to end the show because there weren't enough donations. With the screen blank, the reality of what he was doing hit him, even with his weed addled brain.

"What the hell am I doing?" He asked aloud, as if God himself might answer. There was no answer though. The only sound he could hear was his pounding heartbeat and the videos his brother blasted at all hours of the night. "Tomorrow... I'll fix this tomorrow."

Tomorrow he could start again, buy a handful of garbage bags, and cleaning supplies, and recruit Arlo into his own rehabilitation. Get his shit together and stop having fun. Since when do businessmen have juvenile fun like this? Never. He needed to get back to Vermont. He would finally be able to get back to work.

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. His business!

Fuck, how many weeks had passed in this fever dream? He hadn't looked at his work email in ages. After a few failed password attempts, he opened the minimalist mail app, which overflowed with hundreds of emails from clients and coworkers alike. Probing about his return, wondering if he and his family were okay, curious if he'd quietly quit his prolific position. His fat fingers danced on the keys, brain working overtime to try and make an intelligent reply. Nothing came out except a run-on sentence filled with "bro" and "dude". Shit.

He closed the app without sending a single reply.

Tomorrow, he would try again.

---

Oh no. His heart pounded as he shifted on the couch as fast as he could, which wasn't fast at all.

"FRRRAAAP, nnyah."

He wiggled, wobbled, and rocked side to side, resembling nothing more than a bowl of pudding.

"Shiiit, BRRAAAAAP, URRP, nngh nnnnghhh,"

He couldn't fucking reach. He tried so hard but couldn't fight the weight of his fat long enough to do anything.

He looked at his phone with unfocused eyes and forgot what he was doing, but still trying to satisfy the twitching between his thighs. He let out another nasty burp that made him twitch harder.

He looked over at his brother who was groaning in hedonistic joy. Although he was censoring himself with his excess flab, Andy could still hear the buzzing of the toy underneath. His moobs jiggled in sync with the rocking motion he made and Andy wished that was him instead.

"Alexa, can you, like, BRRAPunghhh, order a vibrator?"

"I have found multiple orders in your previous history-"

"Order it!" He barked, trying to reach once more and finding himself red faced and spent.

Blinking blankly at his phone screen again, he suddenly remembered what he needed. He opened Twitter and scrolled more and more. He felt so brainfried, jaw hanging low and staring at flashing gifs. His eyes were too unfocused to read captions anymore, but he needed more.

"BroooAAAPPPP, we should order Doordash... Like a lottafuckingfoooooodnnnngh!"

It was half request and half orgasm. Andy's neck burned hot with desire and jealousy, then anger as the vibe kept purring.

"Dude, take that thing out, burrp, it's distracting as fuck."

"Dude, I can't fucking BRRAP reach it anymore, nyeheheh."

Andy twitched some more, feeling so close to the edge mentally. He wanted that so bad. Constant pleasure. He was so addicted to chasing dopamine. No more natural happiness like sunlight and exercise. Only artificial substitutes like smoking, gorging, and watching pretty girls do disgusting things on Twitter. What happened to him, and so quickly? He felt a pang of fear in the back of his mind but quieted it down with a big fat cloud.

This was the life he was meant to live.

Maybe Arlo had been right all along.

...

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[oldieliebe]

Coole Jungs aus Bayern … Buggybayern 📸

Heute mal ein riesen Lob an meine(n) Hallenkollegen vom Oldtimer-Stadl, der mich immer wieder inspiriert zu Ausfahrten und Fotospots, danke Dir Andi & Familie von Buggybayern.

Unsere Freundschaft ist nun auch schon viele Jahre gewachsen und stetig eine Freude 💚💚💚

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

Had an idea for a image for the nanny where Andy gets sick with a fever and becomes a big baby 🥺❤️✨

I'm so sorry it took so long to answer this. I saw the annon and tried to write it but I had so much work to do. And then when I finally had the time I was blocked and had no idea what to write! But I finally have it, I hope you like it. Trust me I did my best!

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

BABY ANDY

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: After Lily got sick, Jake followed and of course it was only a matter of time the head of the family was sick too.

Warnings: None, I think.

A/N: English is not my first language and I was tired when I wrote this, so I’m sorry for any mistake this may have. Enjoy!

Word count: 1612

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

GIF'S NOT MINE, you can find the credits underneath it. If you are wondering why the gif is a bear, it's cuz Andy is one hehehehe.

  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 

After Lily got better, Jake got a cold. Contrary to her sister, Jake didn’t have a fever, but he had a stuffy nose and his eyes were watery. The little boy had to stay home a couple of days to rest, but after that he went back to school brand as new. Annie knew it was the weather, it was the beginning of December after all, the wind was colder and of course it carried diseases.

Everything was fine for a couple of days until Andy woke up one morning with a sore throat. He didn’t think too much of it and he didn’t mention anything to Annie. He had his usual morning routine, drank his coffee and went to work. But as hours passed he felt more and more sick. His head was pounding, he began to cough and he had a runny nose.

“Mr. Barber?” Meghan, his assistant, knocked softly at the door as she opened it, she had been calling him for a while without getting a response from him. She found Andy drifting off in the middle of the day. “Andy.”

“What?” He lifted his head and Meghan saw his eyes and nose were red and his lips were completely dry.

“My god, go home.”

“I’m fined.” He sorted the files he had on the desk.

“No, you’re not. If Lynn sees you she will send you home. You know how she is when someone is sick.”

“I’m not sick!”

“Really? Then what are those?” Meghan saw the many tissues he had on the desk. “Go home, or I’ll call your wife.”

Andy stared at her not really believing she will do such thing, but Meghan was not joking, and when she saw Andy didn’t move, she went to grab the office phone.

“Fined! I’ll go! But I’m not sick!”

“This is the second time you said “fined” with a very mark D at the end.”

“I don’t like you right now.” Andy said as he stood up and grabbed his things.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll tell Lynn you went home.”

“Danks,” he said, noticing the way he pronounced the word. “Fuck!”

Andy was always very careful so he barely got sick, in fact he hated when he got sick. Andy came back home, his headache was worse than when he left the office and he felt extremely hot.

“Honeyd… this is fucking ridiculous. Babe!” His head and the back of one of his eyes pounded when he screamed his wife’s name.

“Andy?” Annie came out of the kitchen carrying a laundry basket, “My god, you look awful!”

“I love you too.” He said as he walked to the couch and let himself fall on to it.

“What happened?” Annie left the basket on the coffee table.

“Meghan send me home cuz apparently I’m sick.”

“Well you look like crap and your cheeks are flushed, so yeah you must be sick. Let me…” Annie put her hand on her forehead, “You are burning. Go to bed. I’ll be there in a moment.”

“I’m fined!” He rolled his eyes, “Fucking cold…”

“Go to bed and don’t get near Lily!”

“What? That’s abuse!” Annie looked at him with a severe stare and Andy only nodded and went to their room.

By the time Annie walked into the room, Andy was already under the covers and she could only see his hair. She put the glass of water, pills and syrup on the bed side table.

“Andy?” His eyes were closed, “Andy, baby. I need you to sit down so you can take the medicine.”

Andy groaned and sat down, “Ow,ow,ow,ow!”

“What is it?”

“It hurts when I moved.”

“Where?”

“Just…” Andy pointed to his nose and forehead, “all over.”

“Does it hurt here?” Annie put her finger in the small part between his nose and his eye and put pressure.

“OW!!!! Stop that!”

“Don’t be a baby, a barely touch you!”

“Don’t yell! Ow! Fuck.”

“Alright, take these two.” Annie handed him two pills and the glass of water. She saw how Andy chugged them, “And now open wide.”

“For what?”

“The syrup.”

“Na-ah.”

“Open.”

“I don’t want to.” He covered himself with the comforter and whined just like Jake did when he was about to throw a tantrum,

“If you don’t open your mouth I will get a funnel from the kitchen and I’ll stick it in your mouth.” Andy kicked his legs and Annie waited until he finally opened his mouth, she stuck the spoon in his mouth.

“That’s gross.” Andy gagged, “that’s… oh god!”

Andy jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom; he kneel in front of the toilet and threw up.

“Are you serious?” Annie said not believing this grown ass man threw up because of a cough syrup. She kneeled next to Andy and rubbed his back. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Shut up.” He spit onto the toilet. “I hate those things.” He gagged again when he tasted the flavor on his tongue.

“You’ll have to take the pills again.” Annie said in a soft tone and Andy nodded, “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Once in the bed, Andy took another two pills and Annie helped him to arrange the pillows so he could be almost sited on the bed so he could breathe better. Annie kissed his temple when she heard Lily on the monitor.

“Try to rest. I’ll be back later.” But Andy grabbed her wrist.

“Where you going?”

“Lily is waking up, and I need to finish some things before I leave to pick up Jake.”

“What?”

“What?”

“No, you can’t leave. You can’t leave me alone.”

“Why?”

“What if I die?”

“hehehe I don’t think you’re gonna die.”

“I feel like I’m dying.”

“Andy it’s just a common cold.” She kissed his temple again, “I’ll be in the room next door. If you need anything, just scream.”

“My head hurts when I yell.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Annie went to the bathroom to wash her hands before going to Lily’s room who was now fully awake kicking her chubby legs in the air.

“Hello, princess.” She said as she lifted Lily up, “Guess what?” She kissed her chubby cheek, “Your daddy is sick. So we must be quiet so he can slee…”

Her monologue was interrupted by the sound of some sort of bell.  

“What the hell?” Annie said and turned to see Lily, “Sorry.” The sound filled her ears again, it came from their bedroom. She walked there holding Lily and saw Andy under the covers, with his arm lifted holding his phone.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Andy uncovered his head and looked at his wife.

“It worked.” He sniffed, “I need you.”

“How does your phone make that sound?”

“It’s an app.”

“You should be sleeping, not searching for app of bells.”

“Pleeeeease.”

“No.”

Andy moved her phone and the bell began to sound again this time louder and Lily did not like the sound at all. Her face scrunched and a loud scream came out of her mouth.

“Nice job, Andy.” Annie began to bounce Lily, “Shhhh, let’s get out of here.” She took Lily to her nursery until she calm down, put the pacifier on her mouth and left her alone to come back to Andy.

“She is calm now.” Annie said as she walked into the room, “I can’t believe you search for an app with a bell sound, I am not your maid! I have things to do and you are acting like a fucking child!”

When she turned she was met with Andy’s watery eyes, who sniff before tears ran down his cheeks, “Oh god! Andy I’m sorry.” She climbed on her side of the bed. Andy was fully crying, “Don’t cry.”

“You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yes,” He sniffed once more, “you do.” He cleaned his nose with the back of his hand, “I’m dying and you don’t care.”

“Oh my god.” Annie rolled her eyes, “I don’t hate you, and you’re not dying. You need to sleep. I’m sure that you’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”

“If I sleep you’re gonna leave.”

“uh, yes cuz’ a have things to do.”

“See!”

“Ok, alright.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, I’ll text Sophie, “She took her phone, “and ask her to pick up Jake, she’s picking up Louis anyway.” Andy saw how she send the text and smiled to her. “Happy?”

“I want cuddles.”

“Of course you do.” Annie hugged him and began to hum a tune. “Close your eyes, and try to rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.” She kissed him on the cheek and soon after Andy’s eyes finally shut down.

7 p.m. Annie was in the kitchen cutting potatoes for the dinner.

“You promised you be there when I woke up.” Andy said making Annie turned.

“I told you I had things to do.” She smiled when she saw Andy looked a bit better than earlier. “How is my big baby?”

“I need more cuddles.”

“You think you can wait till after dinner?” Andy nodded with a big, tired smile on his face, “Cool! I’m making you a special noodle soup.” Andy smiled lovingly to her. “On the meantime,” Annie went to the fridge, “Here is some string cheese and a juice, go watch TV.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Ok, then. Can I get those back?”

“No, they’re mine!”

“Dinner will be ready soon.” She smiled and saw Andy walked to the living room, “And don’t get near the kids!” A small groaned was all she heard before Andy disappeared in the hallway.

[world-of-stone]

On the eve of Bischofshofen and in (not so loving) memory of that time when the athletes and us had to suffer through 4 competitions in B'Hofen in 5 days (remember that?), I'm giving you... some fanfiction. This was written in 2022, I only just found it again. Sorry it's in German, sometimes I write in English as well but this one came to me in German only)

Bye Bischofshofen

Karl zieht die Kabinentür auf und betritt den kleinen Raum. Schnell ins Warme, einen kurzen Moment Verschnaufen vor dem zweiten Durchgang. Andi und Constantin sitzen auf einer der Bänke und unterhalten sich leise, Eisei tigert durch den Raum. Seine Teamkameraden, die dank seines Sturzes nun wirklich keine Chance mehr haben, hier heute noch irgendetwas mitzunehmen. Eisei schaut auf, als die Tür ins Schloss fällt. Während Karl sich den Helm vom Kopf zieht, kommt Markus auf ihn zu.

„Bist du okay?“

Karl winkt müde ab. „Alles noch dran, keine Sorge.“  Markus sieht ihn noch einen Moment prüfend an, bevor er leicht nickt und sich neben ihm auf die Bank fallen lässt. Karl ist froh, dass er es dabei bewenden lässt: Eisei kann eine ziemliche Glucke sein, wenn er das Gefühl hat, dass mit einem seiner Teamkameraden etwas nicht in Ordnung ist. Heute ist vieles nicht in Ordnung, bei allen von ihnen, und gleichzeitig sind sie zu müde und geschafft von den letzten Tagen und Wochen, um sich darüber aufzuregen.

Eins muss Karl dennoch loswerden. „Jungs, ich muss mich entschuldigen. Ich weiß selbst nicht genau, was da los war, aber der Sturz hätte definitiv nicht passieren dürfen.“

Nachdem der Sprung schon nicht besonders gut war, hat diese Aktion ihn und das ganze Team zusätzlich wertvolle Punkte gekostet. Das Podium ist damit in noch unerreichbarere Ferne gerückt. „Tut mir echt Leid, dass ich es vermasselt hab.“

Andi schüttelt entschieden den Kopf. „So ein Schmarrn, du hast gar nichts vermasselt. Das ist jedem von uns schon mal passiert.“ Karl spürt, wie Markus eine Hand auf seine rechte Schulter legt. „Hör bloß auf dich dafür zu entschuldigen. Hauptsache, dir ist nichts passiert.“ Constantin nickt. „Wenn überhaupt, vermasseln wir es heute alle gemeinsam. Du kannst da noch am allerwenigsten dafür.“

Karl nickt. Der Zuspruch tut gut, auch wenn er weiß, dass sein Fehler vermeidbar gewesen wäre. Die Luft ist einfach raus und all das, was sich in den letzten Tagen in Bischofshofen falsch eingeschliffen hat, kommt ihn heute teuer zu stehen. Es wäre schön gewesen, einen versöhnlichen Abschluss an dieser Schanze zu schaffen, aber es soll wohl nicht so sein.

Ihr Trainer betritt den kleinen Raum und sagt ein paar Sätze. Karl hört nur mit einem Ohr zu – im Kopf geht er seinen Sprung noch einmal durch. Er hat einfach nicht gut genug aufgepasst, war verärgert, weil er so früh schon gelandet war, obwohl er doch einen langen Sprung gebraucht hätte, um vielleicht doch noch ein paar Meter und Punkte aufzuholen.

Als alle um ihn herum aufstehen, wird er aus seinen Gedanken gerissen. Er klatscht mit Andi und Consti ab, die schon wieder ihre volle Montur angelegt haben und die Kabine verlassen, auf dem Weg zum zweiten Durchgang. Horngacher nickt ihm noch einmal zu, ehe auch er durch die Tür tritt. Neben ihm setzt Markus seinen Helm auf und zieht die Jacke über.

Wieder spürt er eine Hand an seinem Arm. „Alles in Ordnung?“, fragt Markus.

Karl hebt die Schultern. Was soll er darauf schon antworten? Seine Formkurve zeigt gerade stabil nach unten, die Tournee hat mehr als sonst üblich an seinen Nerven gezehrt und seine Sprünge gestern und heute haben auch nicht dazu beigetragen, seine Grundstimmung wirklich zu verbessern.

Markus schaut ihn noch immer an und wartet wohl auf eine Antwort. „Wird schon gehen“, meint Karl schließlich. Zu mehr Optimismus kann er sich gerade nicht durchringen. Markus macht einen Schritt auf ihn zu und legt Karl einen  Arm um die Schultern. „Ein letzter Sprung noch und dann ab nach Hause. Vergiss irgendwelche Platzierungen, komm einfach nur sicher da runter.“

Karl nickt. Auch wenn es ihm schwerfällt seinen Ehrgeiz zurückzustecken: Heute holen sie hier sowieso nichts mehr. Alle Chancen auf einen Podestplatz haben sie im ersten Durchgang vergeigt – er selbst am allermeisten und im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes. Mit der linken Hand fischt er auf der Bank nach seinen Handschuhen, die er dort vorhin abgelegt hatte, den rechten Arm hat er um Markus gelegt.

Der drückt ihn jetzt noch einmal kurz, ehe er sich von ihm löst. Karl atmet tief ein – der kurze Moment Nähe hat gut getan. Er ist nicht der Typ, der von sich aus Körperkontakt sucht, nicht wie Markus oder Andi, auch wenn er nichts dagegen hat. Manchmal merkt er erst dann, wenn ihm jemand halb auf dem Rücken liegt oder die Schulter klopft, wie sehr er die Nähe braucht. Markus scheint es manchmal fast vor ihm zu spüren und hält sich dann noch mehr als sonst in seiner Nähe auf, bis sich die Gelegenheit für eine kurze Umarmung ergibt.

Nacheinander verlassen sie die Kabine. Markus schüttelt den Kopf, während er hinter sich die Tür zuzieht. „Selten dämliche Veranstaltung das hier, direkt nach der Tournee.“ Karl muss trotz seiner Müdigkeit grinsen, als er ihn da so in seinen Bart murmeln hört. „Ein letzter Sprung noch, Eisei. Das hast du grad selbst gesagt. Den schaffen wir jetzt auch noch.“ „Und dann Bye Bischofshofen.“

[solarsands]

Is this the worst timeline? Are you a wolfaboo? An unbased turbovirgin twidiot westoid, perhaps? Maybe even an SJW triggered tumblrina vro fluent in Yapanese? Are you a dank topkek tradlarp theorycel? Perchance you slid into the dms of the soyjak aislop orange man bad refucklican? Did they hit the pentagon? Did the thicc thirsttrap they/them spoopy schizoposter romaboo ghost you on read? Was the rentoid roseboy your Roman Empire, sister in christ? You thought you were the react Andy to the unspoken skibidi rizz greypilled Mr. Beast clone? Was the Groyper Truecel Troll going your 13th reason why? You had enough ropefuel from your trooner zoosexual PDF File unaliver f3t1sh1st vro getting called out and doxxed by the Sharty?

stop trying to mind hack me

[skijumpingf1]

Danke Andi 🙏🏻