#Damian Wayne’s metal spine

[cassandracain52]

Damian Wayne has a metal spine

Ok so I’ve talked about Damian having his spine replaced three times on this page and every time I’ve gotten a surplus of people confused about when/how that happened

so in the interest of saving time, I’m going to give a brief synopsis of the entire event. (All comic panels are from comic issues Batman and Robin (2009) TBD 1 Part 2 - Batman and Robin (2009) TBD 2 Part 2) Funnily enough this happens in the same time period that Tim lost his spleen aka When Bruce Is Lost In Time

(!Warning! There will be talk of the G*nt M*rr*s*n Talia character assassination as this happens during that run)

Alright so the whole thing first starts when Damian is shot repeatedly in the back by a villain named “Flamingo” and loses the feeling in his lower body

Because Damian is paralyzed, Dick and Alfred take him back to his mother to be treated

There is where we see Talia arranging for Damian to have his entire spine replaced by a synthetic one

The surgery works but Damian still can’t walk for a few weeks

Oh and I can’t forget to mention that before Alfred and Damian leave, Talia has this lovely conversation-

Here she very clearly vocalizes that since Bruce is dead, Damian has no reason to stay in Gotham and that she wants him to come back home.

Damian refuses to be a weapon used against the Bats and Talia -very suspiciously might I add- just lets him leave

We later find out the reason she didn’t put up much fight to keep Damian in her care was actually because his new spine was laced with tiny machines that allowed for someone to merge with his nervous system and control his actions

of course we find this out when Damian appears to randomly attempt to murder Dick for no apparent reason

Talia then gives control over Damian to Slade -freakin’- Wilson. Arguably the worst possible person to give this control to right below Ra’s Al Ghul himself

Slade to absolutely no one’s surprise, appears to have agreed to this strictly so he can try to kill Dick. Dick ends up figuring out that it’s Slade (after the man makes Damian yell “SlaDe” in a truly brilliant reveal) and thinks of a way to free Damian

Unfortunately his solution is to shock the crap out of Damian’s nervous system because -and I quote- “Your heart can take it, but his?”

He proceeds to more or less give this poor kid electro shock therapy and zap Slade into releasing his hold on Damian. (No hate to Dick it was a time sensitive situation but yikes Damian can’t catch a break)

It works and the connection between Damian and Slade is severed. (Yay??? I guess??)

Batman and Robin then return to the cave where Damian promptly declares he needs to see his Mother right now and Dick agrees but comes with him

Dick quickly finds the machine that they had been using to control Damian and promptly smashes it to pieces. (As he should)

Damian however goes straight to Talia to talk about her -ya know- putting a bunch of robots in his back

the conversation goes as well as you’d expect it to and Talia then reveals that “Oh btw, I’m growing another Damian cause you’re flawed”

She also offers Damian one last chance to reconsider and come back to the League.

Because he’s not completely crazy Damian of course refuses which prompts Talia to do this-

Just straight up disowns Damian right there.

This then starts everything to do with Heretic and all that and Damian’s eventual death (G*nt M*rrs*s*n you are truly my biggest opp)

But that’s not important here, what’s important is that while it can no longer be used to control him, Damian still has the metal spine!

Hope this cleared things up for anyone who was confused/didn’t know about it!🖤

[damian-al-ghul-wayne]

Hey Shavorro, you been holding up okay? I'm watering Uncle C's plants in metropolis, and thought you might wanna visit the city. It's pretty different to Gotham!

I have been pleasant, Akh, but I have not been able to get out of bed today due to my back issues. I suppose my spine is not willing to corporate today.

I am very interested in coming to visit. . . As long as that means getting to visit with you. It has been awhile since you've been around.

[jaybirbie]

I personally headcanon Damian as short. I know both his parents are tall, but hear me out.

His metal spine.

You can imagine how that may stunt his growth. Not to mention the chronic pain that'd probably occur as well. Or other issues. (The spine is wacky,delicate, and a horrible structure, in my opinion ( mine is anyway )

So maybe Damian stays on the smaller side. Another one of his expectations for his future that he doesn't achieve.

I'd like to imagine that while he'd be upset about his height,eventually, he'd come to see it as an advantage. (Also, no hesitation, he will kick the knees of those who moch his height)

[wtfamidoingwhithmylife]

Was no one gonna tell me Damian Wayne has a metal spine or was just supposed to figure that out for myself

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

The fact that Damian, Bruce, and Barbara all have spinal injuries is so interesting to me and I’m not sure why

[blueturtleduck000]

Damian having a metal spine is not talked about enough. does it grow as he ages or does he stay the same length? he gets shot in the back multiple times and then has his spine replaced with a metal one that Talia controls. and then it's barely mentioned again

[shimxy]

Damian's metal spine is so important to me but I somehow always end up forgetting that he has it until I see someone else mention it.

Thanks for the reminder that one of my favorite fictional characters also has a metal spine (even if his isn't actually due to scoliosis) thinking about it always makes me so emotional

Damian’s prosthetic spine is my Roman Empire

COMMS OPEN

Text ver. of the handwriting under cut in case it's hard to read

Comic; page 1

Panel 1 -

(Halfway up a skyscraper)

Damian: X-ray vision.

Jon: would it kill you to say please?

Panel 2 -

Damian: Does baby need to be coddled?

(Bomb)

Panel 5-

(whole ass metal spine)

Panel 6 -

(pamphlet saying 'childhood scoliosis spinal implants. Titanium rod')

Jon: Man, your scoliosis must've been bad, huh?

Comic; Page 2

Panel 3 -

Jon: it's the red one by the way

Panel 4 -

Jon: Wanna swing by mine for leftover pie after?

Damian: sure.

Sketches;

Page 1:

Headcanons.

Cracks back like old man

Has to do regular back exercises

Page 2:

Headcanon 2

Rubs back of neck/where chip was when upset

(I know he wouldn't have a scar, but consider scars are cool)

Page 3:

Banner: Paralysed by a colourful serial killer club

Barbara: Joker. You?

Damian: ... Flamingo

The dynamic

At heart, a good person

Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing

[bluetooththereptile]

Crimson bride

(Yandere Damian Wayne x twin sister reader)

( English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in the following text.)

Summary: Your life is going to end horribly, your will to live is slipping away, will your only hope come to save you?

Tw: mentions of violence and abuse

The smell of blood and incense had filled the air, your lungs could hardly bear the responsibility of bringing you oxygen under the pressure of your stress, not that they could easily filter the smoke in the air anyway. It felt like the air was on fire, with each breath your body shuddered slightly, your body could hardly bear the burden of keeping you alert. The beads of sweat slithered down your spine, making the already uncomfortable rags even more unbearable. You were just 11, why were you stuck in a room full of adults in dark long robes...you were not sure...or perhaps you knew what was going to happen, but you didn't know why on earth you were there. You eyed the sacred blade in the hand of the leader of the group, the light of the candles shimmering on its uneven blade, and swallowed your saliva down your throat that now had turned extremely dry. You could already feel the pain in your chest. Dear God, if you hear me...please help!

The dark monks' chants echoed in the chambers, and the puddles of red wax candles under the feet of pillars carved with different images of unholy creatures, seemed like oozing puddles of blood to you, already boiling with crimson liquid of life right out of hell, where they hailed their master from. The veil on your head was thin enough for you to recognize people's faces, well, at least the ones who didn't have a mask on, and your terrified eyes spotted the figure of your grandfather standing behind the leader, himself holding a golden bowl at hand. You gritted your teeth at remembering his words. The memory is still fresh for you, it was just two months ago when he was having a drink with the leader himself in his boudoir, with you present by his side.

"She's a fitting lady Ra's...I give you the credit of having good hereditary genes..." the leader spoke in his smooth voice, his eyes scanning you up and down. You knew how the way he looked at you was inappropriate but you still stayed, holding the tray of drinks, standing by your grandfather's side, if you were going to flinch even for an inch, your mother wouldn't be happy. "She is..." your grandfather hummed, rubbing his chin before he chuckled "What is it old friend? You seem too interested in my child..." the words spoken made your shoulders stiffen slightly, your fingers tightening around the edges of the tray. "I am...but not for what you think...she is too young for marriage for a mortal man..." his smirk grew wider as he continued "But she's at the ripe age for being gifted to our dear lord...she'd make a decent bride..." you could see Ra's hold on his glass of drink tighten, what did his friend mean? Did he want to marry you off to someone? You wondered, but your confusion soon turned into horror as the leader continued "Her heart fits the unholy bowl perfectly" Oh no...you had heard from your nanny that this man was bearer of bad news but this...this was unpredictable! Your head turned to your grandfather to see how he'd respond...please say no, please say no, I've been a good granddaughter...please say no! "What price do you offer?" And with that, your whole world shattered, you felt like life was slipping away from your shell of being as he negotiated the price of marriage, did he...did he just agree on making you a sacrificial lamb?!

You snapped out of your thoughts by feeling the extremely warm hold of the leader on your naked arm as he pulled you away from the corner of the damp room, the metallic chains on your weak ankles clinking loudly as you dragged them on the floor, your feet already bruised by the rough edges of the old tiles on the floor, leaving red trails of blood. He walked you to the alter, your heart skipped as you saw the white dressing of the stone bed, flower petals spread on the surface, how hauntingly fitting for a bridal bed... The man stopped you right before the altar and started chanting in a language you didn't know a word of. But whatever it was, it was working...because the tiles under your feet started to turn unbearably hot, the circles and symbols drawn onto the walls and the floor turned bright red, oh dear God...if you hear me...please help! You had lost your hope a long time ago, but still, you wanted to hold onto a sliver of hope, maybe your grandfather would change his decision at the last minute, or perhaps he would come...but no...how could Damian come to the other side of the world that quickly? He was just a child, like you, sure, he was a capable boy but still, he was just a boy. His words circled in your mind as the priest poured a warm liquid on your body that painted it red, its sweet aroma filling the air, unbeknownst to you, it was a poison that through skin pores penetrated the body and ran into your blood, slowly relaxing your muscles until your heart would stop, this way, if the demons preferred to have your body whole, you'd still be dead. As you felt your skin itch and your vision turn slowly blurry, Damian's voice echoed in your mind "I will come...I promise...I promise!" His voice was filled with determination, but you knew he'd be late. It was already too late...

They helped you lay down on the alter, the wet veil sticking to your face, slowly suffocating you, but you were too weak to move on your own, your eyes were closed, as if the liquid had sealed your eyelashes together, and the voices around you were turning into distant murmurs, your hands limp as they crossed it on your chest. It was too late...and he hadn't held up to his promise...your lips formed a pout, unable to cry, hardly latching onto the task of breathing, your breaths became labored. Soon your chest would be cut open and your warm paralyzed heart would be put into that golden bowl, and then thrown into a fire...you had hoped things would be different, but you knew from the very start, that you were unwanted, and one day, your family would give you up if they have the chance to do so.

Your ears couldn't detect the loud sound of the explosion of the tear gas in the room, how the cult members shouted and pulled out their weapons but were disarmed quickly by the man in black and a few younger ones. You didn't notice them until someone yanked the wet veil from your face and wiped the clotted liquid off of your nose and mouth, putting an oxygen mask on your face "Y/N!" The voice seemed familiar, but you were too weak to respond "Y/N!" He cried for your attention, his trembling hands shaking your shoulders, his voice muffled by his mask, his hold was pushed away from you when you felt a sharp pain on your neck, the detoxing liquid surged in your veins forward by copious amounts, yet you were already unconscious to see your father cry silently as he held your body close to his chest. Poor girl...poor poor girl...he wished he was there sooner.

Your nanny had pulled the small phone behind her apron with trembling hands, she knew your actions had consequences, but she wanted you to feel happy, so she'd do anything in her power to ensure it'd happen. You quickly snatched the phone out of her calloused hands and started to take the number you had repeated over and over in your mind since the moment you had snuck into your mother's study and had found it deep in her files, it was the Wayne Manor's, where your Damian lived with your father. You were separated since birth, him getting most of the attention of your mother, well the one who was to be her weapon, you were too weak to fight from the very first moments you had started to walk, but still, you tried to have a connection with your twin, who even if neglected your attention or bullied you, still felt a twinge of sibling love deep down. It was not until when he was sent to live by his father that Damian had found out how much he dearly loved you, and how much you meant to him. You dialed the number, hearing it slowly beep, one...two...three...you could hear your nervous breaths into the phone, and four "Hello?" You stiffened at hearing Damian's voice, moving your lips to speak but you couldn't, the sheer luck of having him pick up the phone himself was too much! "Hello?!" Damian's voice turned sour with annoyance, you knew he'd hung up quickly so you finally spoke "Hi..."

"Y/N?!" Damian's voice had turned from annoyed into one of surprise and concern, you spoke softly, asking how he had been doing, smiling as he quickly stammered to answer you, but then, when he was rambling on about missing you, you smiled sadly "Hey...I wanted to tell you something..." you interrupted him "Hmm? What is it?" He had asked with curiosity "Please, forgive me if I've done you anything wrong...okay?" "W-wait...Y/N..what do you? What is happening?!" "Grandpa wants to marry me off...to death..." and there was silence, a very uncomfortable silence. "I will come..." his voice was now filled with determination "I will come, I promise!...w-when's is the ceremony?" "Within two weeks-" the phone had slipped off of your hand when your mother's stinging slap met your face, you turned to look at her with wide eyes, trembling as you heard her crush the phone under her feet.

Your eyes opened up to a white light, with warmth surrounding your body. Were you in heaven? You naively asked yourself, but when the pain washed over your body, you knew you were still alive. "Hi..." Damian's voice made you turn your head to his direction at your side, your neck strained from being motionless for too long. He was holding your hand tightly, and your blurry vision could find the outlines of his face in what you could recognize as crying. "Welcome back..." his voice trembled as he sniffled, adjusting the oxygen mask on your face. You blind a few times to make your vision better, still, it felt a little blurry, but you could at least recognize you were somewhere dark, which you'd find out was the Batcave in the future, and Damian was sitting on your side. Your lips curled upwards slightly at how he held your hand to his chest, looking at you affectionately "Sorry I was late..." he spoke softly "But I will make things right from now on, I promise" he promised, and he would do anything in his power to ensure that.

[devine-fem]

i know people don’t like these type of headcanons but you have to admit, theyre interesting. people say that damian wayne got fully healed when he came back to life. like even his metal spine was gone… but what if he didnt? you could play around with the idea of damian having died for a period of time. like he could or could not have scars across his stomach from being sutured up. autopsy scars across his chest and stomach. when his body is developing theres a chance itll think he’s still dead making him feel feverish, nauseous, making him weak, feel pressure build up in his stomach, his blood running cold and his eyes throbbing in pain, all from things like blood draining, pressure release, and eye caps he would be gotten from a mortician and his body remember them like phantom limbs. but all of these only lasting for maybe a couple days.

then the natural body things like his skin getting dry, his mouth not producing as much saliva or throwing up, limbs falling asleep or exhaustion and his breathing being hindered so someone has to watch him while he sleeps.

also, the psychological effect… could you imagine damian not wanting to sleep cause he doesnt wanna feel like hes back there again?

imagine damian having to be taken care of my the batfamily or jon.

again maybe this is too much but its fun to think about

[swaggy-lee23]

Interviews with Damian Wayne are always a treat because they involve either’s bloodshed, pictures of whatever new pet he’s picked up or the drop of some absolutely insane lore.

Damian: but that was when I was part of my grandfathers death cult-

Interviewer: His what?

Interviewer: How come you have such great posture Mr Wayne?

Damian: Oh it’s because when I was like 10ish my Mother had my spine ripped out and replaced with a fully metal one.

Interviewer: Excuse me??

Damian: I don’t particularly care for mountains to be honest.

Interviewer: May I ask, how come?

Damian : Well when I was like 6 I was forced to climb up one with a broken wrist and a concussion and I just found the scenery lacking.

[slugbugdoodles]

*Damian Wayne HC*

I don’t see this topic get talked about enough so here I go. Damians metal spine, I’m of the firm belief that in Damian’s near future it should cause many health problems. I mean it definitely doesn’t have the capability of growing like a normal spine would, right?

I see these post of how Damian should be taller like his parents when he’s grown up.. But think about it, Damian’s spine shouldn’t grow at all. Sooooo would he have a stunted growth because no one really knew about it (and thus didn’t check) and/ or is Damian to stubborn to say he’s in probably in immense pain?

Thought/comments? Just thought I could share my two cents on this topic that won’t leave my brain..

[zahri-melitor]

It’s time for the Potted Fanon History One True Heir, Robin V: DAMIAN WAYNE!

Damian, conception: Talia seduced Bruce and they were married under Special League of Assassins Law. Talia got pregnant and hid it from Bruce. She may have told him she had a miscarriage or she may just have not mentioned anything.

Damian, birth: might be natural, might be an artificial womb. Either way, immediately inducted into the Order of Assassins.

Damian, small child: Damian is raised in Nanda Parbat speaking Arabic. He may also be called Ibn al Xu’ffasch by ordinary assassins. Talia is highly involved in his training and he is learning to assassin.

Damian, small child: Talia either tells him stories of his noble father in Gotham City who he must earn his right to meet OR won’t tell him anything until he earns his right to find out.

Damian, small child: being a small assassin in training involves many terrible tests he must face, most of them with the word ‘Blood’ or ‘Shadow’ in the title and which involve people beating him up or him killing small animals. Damian refuses to kill the animals.

Damian, 6-7: encounters Jason while Jason is also with the League. They train together with knives. May call each other brother.

Damian, child: Damian is taught many things by his tutors and has a university level understanding of dozens of different topics. He’s just that smart. (If it’s convenient for the plot he knows it)

Damian, 9-10: finally he is told he has met enough tests to deserve to meet his father. Talia takes him to Gotham.

Damian, 9-10: anxious to price his worthiness to be Robin and his father’s heir, Damian immediately sets out to kill Tim to prove his superiority and right to be Robin. That’s how it works in the League of Assassins after all!

Damian, 9-10: Ra’s Al Ghul tries to kidnap Damian to take over his body. This fails and Damian is rescued by the Bats. (It is unclear where Damian has been living)

Damian, 9-10: Bruce dies. Dick is worried Damian will run back to the League as Bruce isn’t around so he makes Damian Robin. If we do Battle for the Cowl Damian rescues Tim and Tim is ungrateful about this.

Damian, 10: Dick and Damian are Batman and Robin. They save each other a lot. Damian comes to trust Dick and think of him like a father. They’re the greatest team ever.

Damian, 10: Tim comes back and Damian discovers Tim still does not trust him! This is unfair! He’s worked so hard with Dick to learn to be Robin! Damian immediately starts trying to kill Tim again (cuts his line).

Damian, 10: gets injured and his spine is replaced with METAL.

Damian, 10: Damian gets his own Batgirl, Stephanie. She is now acting as his babysitter every time they have to do anything public, but she acts fun about it.

Damian, 10: Bruce comes back. Initially Damian stays his his real father, Dick, but Bruce eventually takes back over as Batman. Damian resents this. Dick stays living at the Manor to smooth things over.

Damian, 10: Damian gets a pet cat Alfred and a pet Dog Titus and a pet cow Batcow and a pet turkey Jerry and he’s a vegetarian and he just loves animals so much. Nobody else (except Dick and Alfred) are allowed near his pets.

Damian, 10: Damian is now getting along with Jason, who is now an anti-hero, or he’s excited to be reunited with Jason who he recalls from the League of Assassins. Jason has never tried to kill Damian. Damian still gets into constant fights with Tim.

Damian, 10: Damian dies as Robin. It was heroic. Everyone mourns him deeply. Bruce immediately starts trying to resurrect him.

Damian, 10: Damian is resurrected. Dick cries a lot and they hug.

Damian, 10-12: Damian meets Jon Kent! They are immediate best friends called the Super Sons who hang out together all the time and get into trouble and go on adventures. This is far cooler than the Teen Titans.

Damian, 10-12: Damian has an adventure where he meets Goliath, a furry red dragon bat.

Damian, 12-13: even though Super Sons is cooler, Damian ALSO leads a Teen Titans team despite being the youngest by a very long way. How hard could it be? Dick and Tim have done it. Who is on this team? Big shrug, they’re not Jon.

Damian, currently: Damian is Robin and working in Gotham with Bruce as his Batman. He goes out with Dick to patrol quite often. His single only friend is Jon, who is also still a teen, unless someone has decided Colin Wilkes is around. He still considers that his life goal is to grow up to be Batman.

[holyserverbatman]

Out Of The Shadows Event Notice!

Hello! You may have noticed that our event has not been advertised recently, that's our bad, sorry!! It was originally meant to be an event that took place throughout June, but unfortunately mods had conflicts. But we still want this to happen!

This event will now take place the week of July 24th-30th.

Out of respect to our original timeline, if you published anything in either June or July that fit our prompts, then feel free to tag us! We'll allow it all into the collection.

This is an event to bring less popular characters, relationships, and timelines into the light! The focus should be on less popular platonic pairings, and canon events that don't receive much attention. Are you passionate about Cassandra Cain? Does the New Teen Titans era hold in a special place in your heart? Do you love Sebastian Ives & Tim Drake? Does Dinah Lance's work with Barbara Gordon excite you? This is the event for you!

Our Prompts

Featured Relationships:

Alfred Pennyworth & young!Bruce Wayne

Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Dick Grayson & the Titans

Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd

Helena Bertenelli & Tim Drake

Duke Thomas & Damian Al Ghul-Wayne

robin!Jason Todd & batgirl!Barbara Gordon

Prompts:

Cass using daytime TV to practice her English

The consequences of Damian's metal spine

Duke asking Dick for advice on being a big brother

Babs being badass in a wheelchair

batgirl!Steph & robin!Damian & batman!Dick

Reverse Robins!AU - Duke becomes the Red Hood

All-Caste Jason

Remember to tag #dcoutoftheshadows and @holyserverbatman to get your creations attached to the event, and remember you can add it to our AO3 collection as well!

If none of these events inspire you, then feel free to check out our list of character and relationship prompts here!

If you are wondering what is not allowed, then check out this post here! @dc-fandom-events, @dc-event-calendar

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

The Haunted Manor of Bats

by PickleofwhichisFickle64 Ever year the Justice League had a small competition. It was a fun little thing they did. Each year, a different person was picked to make a haunted house for the League to go through. It was a simple competition, scoring based on how frightening and believable things were. This year it was Batman’s turn to host the haunted house. He had been waiting for his opportunity. He was ready, after all, he was Batman. Halloween and Gotham go together hand in hand. Words: 3269, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Dp Batfam oneshots, Part 12 of Ghost in DC Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Danny Phantom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Alfred Pennyworth, Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Arthur Curry (DCU), Oliver Queen, Danny Fenton, Skeleton Guards (Danny Phantom), Barbara Gordon, Barry Allen Additional Tags: Not Canon Compliant, Not Phantom Planet Compliant (Danny Phantom), Ghost King Danny Fenton, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Arthur Curry is Aquaman (DCU), Oliver Queen is The Green Arrow, Green Lantern Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Clark Kent is Superman, Barry Allen is The Flash, Halloween, Haunted House, Dick Grayson Circus Skills, Damian Wayne's Metal Spine, its referenced, Blood, quite a bit of blood, Body Horror, Alfred Pennyworth is sneaky, Resurrected Jason Todd, bro breaks out of a coffin in this one folks, but its all fun and games via https://ift.tt/bXVjduK

[blueturtleduck000]

Honestly, I just want more fics about damian waynes metal spine

[batstorm93672]

I posted 152 times in 2022

That's 152 more posts than 2021!

138 posts created (91%)

14 posts reblogged (9%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@oifaaa

@winterstorm032802

@clerkwithamouth

@miki-meh

@dc-universe2

I tagged 144 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#damian wayne - 131 posts

#damian wayne has feelings and he wont admit it - 89 posts

#jason todd - 75 posts

#dick grayson - 70 posts

#tim drake - 68 posts

#robin - 57 posts

#bruce wayne - 47 posts

#stephanie brown - 36 posts

#batman - 34 posts

#alfred pennyworth - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#dick is always happy to get gifts and see damians progress but anything about older brother to jason from damian would ensue teasing lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jason: I tried to steal the tires off the Batmobile, can you top that?

Damian: Indeed, for unlike you, I did steal the Batmobile and drove off

Jason: Holy crap what did he say?

Damian: He said he has half a mind to report me for grand theft auto. So I said "I'd like to hear that call. Hello police? My son stole the Batmobile"

Jason: Literary at it's finest

Damian: *nods*

Bruce holding a cup of coffee: Why... why are you two like this?

Damian: It's how we get by father

Jason: Call it therapy for Dead Robins Club

Bruce: There's a club?

Jason: Yeah I'm the founder and leader, Steph is the co-leader and Damian is our newest addition

Damian: *nods*

Dick: *looks up from his phone* That just sounds like poor coping methods

Jason: Oh yeah? You got anything better?

Dick: *looks back down at his phone*

Jason: That's what I thought

704 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#4

Dick: Alright! Siblings game night!

Stephanie: Wohoo!

Tim: What games?

Dick: I was thinking of something from the closet instead of video games for now

Jason: There's Monopoly

Tim: I am not playing that with you

Jason: Why not?

Tim: You landed on my square and then when I said you have to give me money, you pulled out a gun to my face and said "I'd rather face death then give any sort of money to you"

Jason: *shrugs* You were in jail, not giving money to some scum

Damian: ...I have a suggestion

Dick: Does it involve violence?

Damian: No

Dick: *genuinely surprised* Oh wow, okay go ahead

Damian: We should contort the human body in ways they can not imagine. Letting fate decide their punishment upon the ground they walk. Letting them suffer greatly and feel as their own body fails every so often, upon failure they shall be eliminated in a fashion that would make the dead weep

Jason: *barely containing laughter*

Cassandra: *thumbs up*

Duke: *goes to Stephanie* I... I don't think I'm willing to play anymore

Tim: Someone needs to translate that

Dick: *sighs* He means, Twister. He suggests that we should play Twister

760 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#3

Tim: Hey Damian, if I knocked on your back would we be able to hear metal from your spine?

Damian: ...

Stephanie: Can I try?

Damian: You woke me up at 4 in the morning for this shit

Tim: You didn't deny it

Damian: Get the fuck out of my room

786 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#2

Dick: *stretching* Damn I almost fell and now my back hurts

Tim: Alfred has some medicine for that

Dick: Nah I'm all good

Jason: To be fair you are old

Dick: What... I'm not old

Jason: Yes you are

Tim: I mean I hurt my back a few days ago

Damian: Tt, figures you would

Tim: Don't act tough, haven't you ever hurt your back in battle? It messes with your spine if hurt too much you know

Damian: I wouldn't know

Tim: *scoffs* Cause you're invincible? Or a supreme being in comparison to us lowlifes?

Damian: No, my spine is metal so I wouldn't know cause my original spine is no longer attached to my nervous system

Tim & Jason:

Damian: What?

Tim: WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT LOSING A SPLEEN WAS BAD

Jason: YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING

Damian: I assumed everyone knew? I was shot by the Flamingo in the spine and was paralyzed until Grayson took me to mother and she replaced my spine with a metal one, but it was simply a ploy to control me and try to kill Grayson

Tim: ...

Jason: ...

Dick: *sweats*

Jason: YOU DIDN'T THINK TO MENTION THIS DICKHEAD

1,423 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim: Ugh! Some dude at work was so annoying! *sits down on the sofa next to Damian*

Damian: *places his book down* Terms and conditions

Tim: W... What?

Damian: Tt, Where do you want this to take place, how shall it be done and will you be able to provide me bags or a small cold storage place

Tim: ...Are you... are you offering to off someone for me?

Damian: This is business Drake, make it quick

Tim: God's sake no Damian!

Damian: You've wasted my time

Jason: *walks in* This asshole was being so annoying!

Damian: Terms and conditions?

Jason: Docks, quick and easy, yes I'll provide the bags

Damian: Very well

Tim: W- What the hell?

Jason: Dami and I are going on a trip

Damian: Good day Drake

Tim: What... did I just witness?

Jason from afar: A business transaction Timbo

6,868 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I love how my top 5 are all shitposts I made on random