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uniteds · 1 year ago

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stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:

1. the whole ass world cup in the middle of the season. what was that

2. manchester united sacking ronaldo and announcing a sale of the club in the middle of the world cup

3. ronaldo getting dropped at the world cup and his replacement scoring a hattrick immediately after

4. keeping up with the belgians (world cup edition)

5. keeping up with the belgians (courtois saying he doesn’t respect kdb after stealing his missus)

6. ronaldo stans beefing with a little moroccan girl

7. the kingdom of saudi arabia buying newcastle united and then telling the premier league that they didn’t and the premier league going “oh okay if you say so”

8. megan thee stallion being romelu lukaku’s date to lautaro martinez’s wedding

9. pique cheating on shakira and then shakira releasing a diss track about it

10. shakira figuring out pique cheated on her because someone ate her strawberry jam and pique doesn’t eat strawberry jam

11. apparently the girl pique cheated on shakira with (clara) cheating on pique with pep

12. wagatha christie libel case

13. real madrid dropping a video accusing barcelona of fascism and the government of cataluyna getting involved

14. the pope coming out as a manchester united fan

15. the one napoli fan that basically made zielinski strip on the pitch

16. mount vesuvius park shutting down because napoli fans wanted to fake an eruption as a celebration

17. frank lampard taking everton into a relegation battle, getting sacked, and then taking chelsea into a relegation battle

18. on that note: chelsea were in a relegation scrap and finished 12th

19. mourinho lost his first ever european final to sevilla europa league black magic

20. whatever the fuck borussia dortmund did on the last day of the bundesliga season

21. anthony martial’s ex wife chasing his first wife down a french motorway with a baby in the passenger seat

22. psg suspending messi because he took an unsanctioned trip to saudi arabia and then unsuspending him two days later because they didn’t want people talking about geopolitics

23. the absolutely bizarre messi apology video released by psg

24. spurs refunding their fans’ tickets after being embarrassing

25. pep’s heartbreak over the fact julia roberts is a manchester united fan

26. chelsea scored one goal in the month of april

27. chelsea and spurs had six managers between them and won one match combined between march and april

28. mourinho fighting anthony taylor after the europa league final

29. milan derby in the ucl for the first time since 2005

30. luis enrique saying he’s cool with the spanish players having sex during the world cup as long as they’re not having orgies

31. luis enrique saying he doesn’t have sex anymore unless his wife wants to

32. man city charged with 115 counts of financial doping and trying to get the barrister in charge disqualified because he’s an arsenal fan

33. mourinho wire-taping himself to catch referees being corrupt

34. ryan reynolds and mac from it’s always sunny in philadelphia buying a football club and that football club getting promoted

35. pele died rip

36. women football awards sponsored by shein and klarna having a category for “male football ally of the year” and it’s just random men that went to one (1) women’s game

37. barcelona negreia case (how do you say calciopoli in catalan?)

38. infantino saying he feels gay, african, like a migrant worker, disabled, arab, and qatari

39. infantino saying he was oppressed as a child because he was ginger and italy is not safe for gingers

40. david alaba’s father in law getting arrested for being one the leaders of a far right group plotting to overthrow the german government

41. richarlison being tumblr’s it girl for a month and then not scoring a goal for the next four

42. juventus being in the middle of another corruption scandal and being docked points because of it

43. two teams getting investigated by the british government for playing football the weekend the queen died

44. gavi getting a yellow card in the first minute of a football match

45. pogba’s brother was arrested by french authorities for being part of a group-organized extortion attempt against pogba

46. richarlison getting a tattoo of neymar’s face and neymar paying him 30k to get it removed

47. iker casillas coming out, puyol implying they had a thing, and both of them retracting it in the most misha collins way possible.

48. sane and mane fight

49. zlatan retired from football

50. barca withholding about 50 million in wages from their players and somehow frenkie still didn’t want to join manchester united

#tp #there’s more but I can’t remember them #manchester united #and others

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kiefbowl · 4 months ago

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What do you think of the Olympics boxing controversy

Very disappointed how fast "online radfems" jumped to quick conclusions with no evidence. Same thing happened to Caster Semenya. I appreciate how much feminists want female sport issues to be taken seriously, but it's clear there is a racial component to this. Many white feminists are incapable of avoiding weird race science b.s., incredibly disappointing. I think people are exposed more than ever in very casual ways to a lot of black political theories, and instead of trying to understand them and internalize them, are eager to leverage them for online clout and self-aggrandizing even if they completely misattribute them. That why you get weird takes like "black women have masculine features" because it's like a weird bastardization of black feminists who have discussed the ways culture will prescribe gendered cultural implications to black women at the detriment of black women. Black women are always, always women. They're female. They aren't a biologically different category, to believe so is both misogynistic and racist.

Additionally, I find it frustrating that so many feminists decide that intersex athletes are this huge priority. The anxiety over natural testosterone levels in otherwise biological female athletes veers on weird gender science of how women should be, what women should be, and other bio-essentialist views. All for a very tiny portion of the population who are already vulnerable and marginalized. The best faith argument is that in some sports, high testosterone in women may skew averages and create records that are near impossible to break, but given enough time outstanding performances become outliners, so I just don't see the big deal to have this much anxiety over intersex athletes. Doping, yes. Male, actual unambivalently male athletes invading female sports, yes. One singular born and raised female African athlete performing exceptionally, and well within the means of human performance? Good god there's a lot at risk here if we become insensitive, unnuanced, racist pieces of shit. Even from a pure optics point of view, if you disagree with me we certainly don't move the needle in favor to critical examine how trans gender ideas impact female athletes if it appears to everyone we really do believe "women = dainty, women are incapable, black women are men."

And since I always get the weirdest responses whenever I talk about this, please spare me you rote arguments because I've heard it before. I'm truly not moved by the argument that female intersex athletes tend to outperform in the sports they're in. I don't care. Good for them. I hope they make big bucks and live well for the rest of their lives. I don't need to know their medical history, I just don't care!! :)

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bookofmac · 4 months ago

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Reading up on this history of Intersex Olympians on Wikipedia is a sure fire way to want to burn everything down forever.

They only ever check the genetic sex markers (originally testosterone and androgens, later Karyotypeing) for women's events, it was MANITORY between 1968 and 1998 for all women competing (the only exception being PRINCESS ANNE, who does EQUESTRIAN).

Men do not get tested on sex markers, only if they are suspected of doping.

Of the 18 total intersex Olympians listed on the Wikipedia, 10 of those are women from African countries. All three of the European competitors on the list competed before the 70's.

The current disqualifying characteristics in women's events are only relevant for Middle distance running, hammer throw and a few other events and are:

have an XY karyotype and

have ≥5 nmol/L testosterone and

do not have androgen insensitivity

Please PLEASE call this what it is, intersexism, sexism and racism. It's been going on at the Olympics for decades.

#intersexism #the olympics #there is some interesting stuff on that page but it makes me so mad #like I have hyperandrogenism #also this is very transphobic with the language being used too but it is intersexism on its face we really need to call it for what it is

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atiny-piratequeen · 11 months ago

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𝓝𝓮𝓰𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

𓆩⟡𓆪Summary:

When two rival kingdoms send their men to you to ask for your hand in marriage to bridge the gap between kingdoms, you have a quite...unique way of getting everyone to cum together.

Errr, come together.

Nah, it was right the first time.

𓆩⟡𓆪Pairing: Lee Juyeon (The Boyz) x Fem! Reader x Jeong Yunho (Ateez)

𓆩⟡𓆪Genres/Aus: Non-Idolverse, Royal AU, Hybrids (Snow Leopard, Netherlands Dwarf Rabbit, and African Wild Dog, Respectively), Smut, Poly Endgame

𓆩⟡𓆪Tws: Swearing, Insults

𓆩⟡𓆪Sws: Consensual Chase Kink, Pred/Prey Undertones, Size Difference (Reader is smaller than the boys. And if you aren't irl, guess what? You are now. Live your smol dreams babes), Teasing, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Breast Play, Unprotected Sex, Fingering, Cum Swallowing, Marking, Riding, Anal (mxm), hints of Scent Kinks, Stomach Bulge, Slicking, mentions of ruts/heats

𓆩⟡𓆪Rating: Explicit/Mature (18+)

𓆩⟡𓆪WC: 3.7k

𓆩⟡𓆪A/n: Im a damn day late but here is my Secret Santa '23 entry for @cultofdionysusnet for, ironically, my darling Jasper (@starlitmark)

I was already like WOAH when I got you as my receiver but I think its pretty dope you also were my secret Santa *wheeze* I hope you like it, even if it's late.

𓆩⟡𓆪AO3| Taglist Form (Please make sure your urls are updated and able to actually be tagged) | Commission Sheet𓆩⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪Network Ping- @kwritersworld | @kdiarynet | @k-vanity | @cultofdionysusnet𓆩⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪©atiny-piratequeen. do not repost, translate, or use my works𓆩⟡𓆪

“You and I will not be seeing eye to eye on this. I arrived first, I asked for her hand first, and I will not bow down to some… dog .”

An audible growl filled the room, a reverb as the man across the way’s lip finally curled up.

“I’ve listened to you hiss and spit nonsense at me for half an hour, if you’d like to do more than that, I’d be more than happy to entertain that, but if all you intend on doing is make cheap shot swipes at me, it's obvious who it is she should choose to take her hand.”

You sit with your ankles crossed, your hands in your lap, watching the two men bicker at one another.

The first man is Juyeon, sent from the land of Lucid Dream. It was a place born of ice and snow, it seemed fitting that their Crown Prince was a snow leopard, his speckled tail twitching in agitation as he glared down his much bigger rival.

This being Yunho, an African wild dog sent from the kingdom of Eternal Sunshine, who stood taller than Juyeon, stared him down with an unimpressed stare, his ears, also spotted, flicking to and fro as he made steadfast eye contact with the two of them.

“Milady, I don’t think this one is going well. I don’t know how the meetings got mixed up like this-probably Donghyuck again-but I can escort them out immediately if you would like to. Before things get too…rowdy?” your consultant whispers beside you, eyes flicking back and forth between the two apex hybrids.

You hum, your nose twitching slightly.

They both smelled quite nice. How very coy of their respective Kingdoms to send hopefuls to you that were bordering on their respective ruts.

A smile crosses your face, you stand, and in an instant, both men pause in their arguing, eyes fixed on you.

“Lucid Dream and Eternal Sunshine, long have you two been at odds with one another, no? If my recollection of history goes, your two kingdoms have been in a bitter, decades-long spat with one another, right?” You step down from your post, your hand soft and delicate within your consult’s hand as he assists you.

“Milady-”

“I will be fine, Xiaojun. Tell Mark and Donghyuck to go prepare for me. It won’t take long, I made my decision.”

Xiaojun looked at your small form, pursing his lips in concern. Leaving you, a rabbit, in a room with a wild dog and a snow leopard seemed to be the LAST thing he wanted to do, but a simple quirk of your brow settled any unsaid complaints he had and he merely sighed and nodded, making his way out of the room.

The sound of your heels against the grand marble floors echoes as you make your way to the two of them, without a doubt picking up on the competing pheromones rolling off of them both in waves.

They straighten their backs, looking at you with a noticeably gentler look.

“It will take them some time to prepare my room, I imagine.”

Neither men said anything, though you can see their tails stand still, their ears perked.

The corner of your lips tilt slightly, how cute.

“The two of you can prove yourselves to me in a different way. If my kingdom is to be the bridge, we will do things my way.” you speak slowly, removing your heels and setting them aside. The two men stare, blinking slowly and curiously while you make your way to the door, a smile tugging at your lips as you feel their gaze on your smaller form.

“Let’s see who’s faster.”

You toss the door open, darting down the hall in a flash, and laughing to yourself as you count the seconds it takes before there is an eruption of noise and movement behind you.

You’re grateful for Xiaojun knowing where you were going with your untold portion of your orders to him, as the halls are relatively empty. Any servants mulling about were on alert and the moment they see you rushing down the hall, jovial and full of energy, they press themselves to the wall, keeping themselves there as two blurs rush by moments later.

“Stupid dog, move! She’s mine!” Juyeon rushed by, his eyes narrowed as he followed the scent down the hall. Yunho growled, his legs long and swift, making sure Juyeon did not overtake him in speed.

He wouldn’t lose. Failure was not an option. If the Princess wanted her soon-to-be betrothed to win in a challenge of speed-and if it came down to it, strength-he wouldn’t back down.

Especially not to a trash-talking feline from their rival kingdom.

Yunho narrowed his eyes, the scent made a sharp turn, but it was faint.

Instead, the scent had subtle stronger traces to the right. He turned, rushing down that way while Juyeon continued down the main hall.

The feline’s tail twitched when he saw him break off, but he ignored it, keeping his eyes focused on the hall he was running down.

You were…beautiful. He’d been sent with a mission in mind and he intended to follow through, to have your hand, but the moment he laid eyes on you, he knew he’d be the one to sweep you off your feet.

He’ll be damned if they lost to a clumsy dog from that place .

Juyeon swore when he found the hall was a dead end. A window was open, a silken curtain blowing in the wind. Out of it, was an avian, clearly some form of messenger, carrying a torn piece of the dress you had worn before him.

He’d been duped.

“FUCK!”

Yunho had better luck, finding you rushing through the halls while wearing a robe you’d taken from a passing servant. He let out a bark of excitement, the thrum of the chase overriding his senses as he barreled down the hall.

The decorative pins and chains on his outfit jingled and chimed as he got closer to you and you smile to yourself, slipping into a room and tucking yourself into a laundry chute, sticking your tongue out at the large dog as he stuck his head through the opening, eyes wide with excitement as you slide from view.

“Gonna have to try harder than that~” You tease, skipping as you step out from the other side.

Behavior unbecoming of a queen? Possibly. But if you were to tie your life to someone, why shouldn’t you have fun? If they couldn’t do this much, how can they expect to bring your kingdoms closer?

You dust yourself off, your ears twitching ever so slightly before you look around the laundry room. It was deathly quiet inside and you feel yourself freeze.

Someone is inside. Watching.

You don’t move anything but your head, locking eyes with something reflective and gold in the dark room.

The moment you do, it lunges at you, and it took a moment longer than you expected to force your brain to catch up to speed. In those moments, you feel your clothes being grabbed, and you stumble, nearly colliding with a wall when a strong arm wraps around your waist, lifting you with ease.

“Well, that was a pretty neat little trick you did there, my beloved. But it seems I’ve caught you. What do I win?” Juyeon inquired, and you can smell his scent thick in your nose, his heartbeat pounding against his chest and your back.

You smile and turn to him, your own heartbeat thundering loud as you place a kiss to his nose.

“Another round.” You smile and slip from his grip, shrinking your arms as close to your body as you can and sliding the robe you had taken from a servant off, rushing out of the room as Juyeon swore behind you.

The hall isn’t far from your room. You figure everything is ready and if the boys couldn’t catch you by the time the door closed, your little game was over and you’d win.

Did you want to? Probably not, but it was still fun.

A crash sounds from behind you, and you hear two sets of footsteps approaching, the hall flooded with pheromones.

“Move, dog!”

“Like hell, cat. Back off!”

You glance over your shoulder and find both of the men right on your heels.

“Lady Y/N!” They call to you at the same time, and it takes a moment for you to get your bearings, your nose twitching ever so slightly. You sniff, the smell of their combined scents flooding your senses.

Aren’t they too close?

You squeak in surprise as both of them stumble over each other, tripping and falling onto you in a heap. The air leaves your lungs and a startled yelp fell from your lips, in an instant, both of them are picking you up, panic clearly set into their features.

You feel a familiar heat settle in your core, and you realize the repetitious sound in your ears is your own heartbeat. You smile at the two men, and no doubt by now they can smell your arousal.

“Are you okay?” Juyeon inquired, his fiery disposition from before gone as he gently cupped your face, his hand warm to the touch. Yunho checked you over visually, eyes rolling over your body, looking for bruises or worse, blood.

Instead, he’s met with your flushed gaze, your chest rising and falling quickly.

“Looks like you both got me.”

The two men exchange a look with one another before looking back at you.

“Technically, I caught you first.” Juyeon interjected. Yunho narrowed his gaze at him before sighing.

“I’ll leave, I just want to make sure you both didn’t get hurt when I fell on you.”

You take his hand and Juyeon’s, a spark in your eyes as both of them look at you curiously.

“Lady Y/N?”

“If you boys don’t mind, let’s try one more thing. I’m sure that will settle this once and for all.”

They exchange a look with one another and nod slowly, curiosity making both of their respective tails sway to and fro.

-x-

“My, you two are quite pent up mm?” You let out a faux pout, a cock in each hand as you stroke slowly. There’s a wicked glint in your eye as you look up at the two, delighted by the way they both seemed adamant on holding back and not ‘crumbling’ before the other.

Poor things, they still think this an either-or situation.

Your ears twitch ever so slightly, picking up every sharp gasp and low groan from the two of them as you stroke faster, twisting one hand while you gently squeezed with the other.

“M-Milady-” Juyeon grit out, biting his lip so hard you could see small indents from his fangs. Yunho wasn’t much better, letting out unintelligible pants and growls, seemingly trying to keep himself from actually speaking so he didn’t make a fool of himself.

“It’s fine, Juyeon. You already won. Both of you have.”

Both of them sober slightly, looking at one another with a competitive spark before jolting when you bring your lips down, breath fanning over the head of their cocks as you run your tongue over them.

“Let’s get along well, okay~?”

The two buckle, scent thickening with arousal when they finally pick up on your own heat as you shift below them.

They’d stirred something inside of you, it’s only right for them to take responsibility for it.

“A-as if I’d get along well w-with someone like him.” Yunho grit out, his cock throbbing in your mouth as you tease his head with your tongue. Juyeon hissed at him, turning his head sharply.

“F-feeling’s mutual. I doubt a stupid ass dog could pleasure her, anyway .” He grit out. Yunho’s eyes blazed with the challenge and you roll your eyes below them, giving both of their cocks a squeeze. They buck and jolt, their attention landing back on you.

“Play nice.” You warn, pressing their cocks together, dragging your tongue over their slits, keening at the mixed taste. “It’d be a shame if I didn’t get to taste more because you two can’t behave.” You sigh softly, letting your tongue roll over Yunho’s cock, then Juyeon’s, and back again.

The two go quiet. Or, rather, as quiet as they could get as the occasional moan and keen roll from their lips, their rivalry temporarily placated by your actions.

They were handsome, of course. No Kingdom in their right mind would send you someone less than average, but they looked better like this, faces flushed, panting, fingers flexing as they tried to keep their hands off of you.

“That’s better.” You sit up, caressing their balls and smiling, your scent thick and sweet. Both of them unconsciously lean towards you, and you open yourself to them, perking so your breasts are spilling from the top of your dress.

An invitation, that’s what it is.

They took it for what it was, cupping and groping one breast each as you raise your head higher.

“I d-didn’t expect this nn…today,” Yunho growled, his cock throbbing in your small hand as he ran his lips over the sweet glands on the left side of your neck.

Juyeon grunted in agreement, his tongue flicking out, dragging over your throat. The barbs at the center were soft, and you find yourself clenching on nothing as they kiss their way lower, greedy lips finding your nipples.

You gasp and close your eyes, rolling their balls in your hand, trembling in their grip as you feel them running their hands down your body as they alternate between kisses to your chest and small, marking nibbles and bites.

Juyeon’s hand found its way to your folds first, chuckling airdly as he rubbed slowly. You yip and clench on nothing, your hands stopping momentarily.

“Ah, don’t you want us to bond, Bun? Don’t stop just because he’s touching you.” Yunho growled, sucking a spot into your breast you were sure wouldn’t fade easily after tonight. You narrow your eyes at him in challenge, but they flutter the moment Juyeon pinches and rolls your clit, his breath fanning over your ear.

“You’re already so wet. Did it feel nice giving us the run-around. Leaving such a sweet scent for us to follow, it’s only right we pay you back in kind.” He growled, lifting his fingers and spreading them apart, showing you-and Yunho-the slick covering them.

Your lips tremble as you look up at them, your head swirling in need as you watch Juyeon offer his messy fingers to Yunho.

He stared, eyes narrowing in need for a moment before he sucked them into his mouth, fangs grazing Juyeon’s fingers before he pulled back, a deep growl pulling from his chest as he turned to you.

“C’mere. Let’s get you comfortable.”

His definition of ‘comfortable’ was splaying you out with your legs spread in their laps, both of them kissing and biting at your necks as you squirming as you let them both stretch you, your slick making a mess of your ass, their hands, and their thighs below.

“I-I’m ready!” You cry, arching high and clenching on their fingers, mouth falling open as one of them curls their finger up to brush against your gspot. Your cries are met with deep chuckles and a kiss from each of them as they slow only long enough for you to catch your breath.

“Are you sure?” Yunho teases, his lips against your ear before he bites.

Your eyes widen and you find yourself squirting as you jolt, a yip leaving your lips. Both men let out amused keens, holding you so you wouldn’t fall as the sudden shockwave rolls through you.

“So pretty~” Juyeon purred, pulling his fingers free, smiling like the cat that ate the canary as he ran his tongue over his fingers, licking them clean as you pant, trying to catch your breath.

There’s a wet smacking sound above your head and you find yourself squished between the men. One glance across from yourself to the mirror they’d propped you up in front of and you found out why.

Yunho had his hand fisted in Juyeon’s hair, pulling him in for a demanding kiss, chasing your taste on his tongue. The sight made you keen, and you cup their necks, running your fingers over their glands, smiling as they both shuddered.

“It looks like you two are getting along just fine now, mm?” You purr.

They part, panting as they stare each other down.

“Yeah,” Juyeon mewled, his tail twitching and jerking in interest behind him.

“I think we’ll get along just fine.” Yunho licked his lip and moved to grab you by the hips, picking you clean up.

“Come, I think we’ve held back for too long. I’m aching.”

You find it exciting how easily the two of them can move you at will. Strong, yet gentle hands positioned so you were straddling Yunho, staring down hungrily at his cock as Juyeon held his cock up.

Your plan was simply to tease, but as you watch the two eye you hungrily, then eye each other with the same gaze, you realize maybe this was going to work a lot better than your playful mind had anticipated.

Taking Yunho was a task in itself. Even with your slick, you were grateful Juyeon paused to coat the bigger hybrid’s cock in lube provided by your consultants (you’d thank Xiaojun, Mark, and Donghyuck later).

“T-Tight-” Yunho growled, his canines pronounced the more he lost his composure, his hands gripping your hips tight. You cling to his hands, body shaking as Juyeon cooed sweet nothings to you, reaching to rub your clit and the base of your tail.

“A-Ahn- fuck-” You swear, eyes closing as Juyeon’s feline purrs override your mind.

“That’s it. Such a good wife you’re going to be for us. Open your eyes, Princess. You’re bulging.” He growled, cupping your jaw. You gasp and look down, eyes widening as you see the tell-tale bulge in your stomach.

Had…had he grown bigger while he was inside of you?

The very thought made you gush on his cock, your hands falling to Yunho’s chest as you bounce on your own accord, eager to feel him deeper inside.

“S-Shit- Y/N-” He swears, hands tightening on your hips as you ride him, your hips and ass slapping against his thighs. Juyeon watches, mesmerized as you swallow Yunho’s cock, your slick leaving a lewd, shiny trail on his cock that dribbled down to his balls.

“C-Come…come here.” Your voice startled the snow leopard back into focus and he glanced up, pupils dilating as you open your mouth, tongue out for him.

“G-Gimme.” You demand, and he doesn’t need to be told twice, standing up and cupping the back of your head. He doesn’t even have the time to open his mouth and be a gentleman, to urge you to go slow before you dive down, eagerly bobbing your head until you feel him touch the back of your throat.

They both smelled so good, thick and hot and it made you crave more, especially hearing both of them moan and gasp your name. Yunho thrust his hips up, bouncing you in his laps and he would have probably knocked you off balance, had it not have been for the iron-clad grip your thighs had on his frame and his hands had on your hips.

Juyeon kept himself anchored by cupping your head, and rubbing the base of your ears. He found your throat tightening at the motion and smiled wickedly.

“Is that n-nice? Having your cute little ears rubbed while we claim your pussy and your throat?” He panted, hissing through his teeth as he watched you turn your teary, pleasure-struck gaze up to him, drooling as his cock pressed deep into your throat.

“I c-can’t keep holding it back.” Yunho gritted, eyes flickering back and forth between your mouth and your pussy, both stuffed in such a lewd manner.

You clench around him, a subtle sign you didn’t want him to, and thankfully both of them took the sign for what it was, fucking you and your throat with a mismatched tempo that eventually synched up.

Every fiber of your body felt like it was alight with pleasure, and stars exploded behind your lids as you finally felt them flood your mouth and pussy. You feel delighted as you feel the mess between your legs, only sealed inside by Yunho’s cock (which still throbbed, almost as if he wanted to unload more into your tightness). Juyeon pulled you out of your musing when he pulled out of your mouth, panting like a beast as he looked down upon your kiss-swollen and saliva-covered lips.

“That’s our good girl. Are you alright?” Yunho murmured, petting your head. You lick your lips, taking a moment to gather your barings before pressing into his hand, smiling.

“You two don’t think we’re done, do you?” You inquire after catching your breath. They exchange a look of surprise with one another before quickly recovering and grinning.

-x-

Minutes turned to hours, and positions changed. From you eagerly arching your back, nuzzling Yunho’s cock and teasing it with kisses as Juyeon takes you from behind to you biting marks into his ass while Yunho thrusts into him, keeping his cheeks spread with a devious giggle as his fiery voice melted into airy, near shy whimpers. Or the way Yunho trembled and groaned as you bite marks into his thighs while he greedily curled his tongue deep inside of Juyeon, reaching around to stroke him and milk another orgasm from the spent feline.

By the time the three of you are actually satiated, you lay in a pile of noodle-like limbs, dazed and happy as you gather your bearings.

“I think,” Juyeon panted, running a hand through his sweaty locks.

“-this is the start to a wonderful union.” Yunho finished, nosing both you and Juyeon’s hair, clearly close to dozing. You blink.

“...oh, right, the kingdom thing.” You yawn despite both of them laughing. You motion for them to follow you to your private bath, cum dribbling down your legs.

“C’mon, my sweets. We need all the rest we can get if we are to continue our… negotiations tomorrow, yes?” You wink at them over your shoulder, smiling as they appear at your side in a flash, heading deeper into the bathroom before closing the door with a click.

“Right, negotiations. I’m sure that’s what we can call it.”

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

Taglist

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

@kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @angel0taiyo @gettin-a-lil-hanse @jacksons-goddess-gaia @violetwinters @skmoonchild @seomisaho @drunk-on-hwa @soluvcore @twistedsiren @shymexican

#fie writes #cultofdionysusnet #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #codn santa 23 #juyeon smut #yunho smut #juyeon x reader #yunho x reader #kpop smut #ateez smut #the boyz smut #kpop crossover smut #im so sorry its late aaaaa #ill add it to the other masterlist later I'm tired lol #k-vanity

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oddvanilla · 5 months ago

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PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT "SKIBIDI" AND "SIGMA" MEANS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR A WEEK AND IT KEEPS POPPING UP IN YOUR BLOG AND I'M SO CONFUSED 😭😭😭😭

AAAA I love people who ask me open ended questions,, you're basically allowing me to yap 🫶🫶🫶

It all starts with Gen Z, you could say. The thing with Gen Z is that we're so sarcastic it's CRAZY. I mean, we got lots of terms that millennials can barely wrap their head around. It's like only we can understand this dumb humour. Like obviously, we say "rizz" (short for charisma: a charm) and "GYATT" (usually popular in African-American environments, short for goddamn),, but the thing is, we say that stuff ironically (in a sarcastic manner).

But there's Gen Alpha, basically people who are born after 2010 (until 2025, starts gen beta). And these kids are like brainrotted to the EXTREME. Keep in mind, brainrot usually means people who are too chronically online and sometimes can only speak in internet slang...weird. Gen Alpha is responsible for creating or popularizing some terms. These include a LONG list, I'll try to explain as much as I can here...

Sigma: the equivalent of alpha, an individual who's viewed as dominant.

Skibidi: short for Skibidi Toilet, a series made up of short videos created by DaFuq!?Boom! On YouTube.

Cap: a lie. Usually used in phrases like "No cap!" (No lie) Or "That's cap!" (That's a lie)

Slay: Something done impressively or greatly. Usually used between females but it's NOT restricted to that. used In phrases like "you slayed that/you ate that!"

Sus: Suspicious, unsettling

GOAT: abbreviation for "greatest of all time". Like in "Ronaldo/Messi is the GOAT"

Clout: popularity. Example— "I did that for clout"

Flex: to show off

Bop: Bae of plenty, someone who is seen as a player

Cancel: Cancel culture is pretty much getting celebrities banned off social media platforms. For example, many people want to cancel Andrew Tate.

Noob: newbie, someone who is a rookie. Either new to a game or bad at a game.

Drip: how cool your outfit looks. Like seeing a kid with a hoodie and saying "Damn, that kid got drip!"

Dope: The equivalent of Rad, something that's cool.

Dupe: yes, there's a difference. Dupe is like a knock off or a fake.

Lit: the same meaning as dope. usually something fire, as in it's awesome.

Stan: to be a huge fan of someone. Others can interpret it as a stalker fan, but the first definition is more popular.

Fanum tax: popular streamer Kai Cenat is friends with another streamer known as Fanum. Fanum often appears in Kai's streams to steal food from Kai. Fanum tax has become a popular term between fans indicating someone is stealing your food. Sometimes used in percentages. For example, my best friend casually fanum taxes 85% of my lunch every other afternoon.

Mewing: a technique used to sharpen your jawline, where you put your tongue at the roof of your mouth—often not allowing you to speak.

Edging/gooning/surfing: (Sorry asexuals..) a sexual practice involving controlling your 0rgasm.

Glazing: to over-hype something or give something so much compliments and attention it has gotten cringe worthy.

Tweaking/tripping: to act energetically or even unintelligently under the influence of crack/drugs, used sarcastically.

Aura: an imaginary calculation method of how much power or reputation you have. For example, falling In front of a group of teens means you have lost aura, or power. You can say that's -500 aura (points). Or maybe helping a homeless man. That's +5000 aura. Memes go around like "the golden dog", a card that makes you immune to losing aura.

Of course there is MUCH more. and Gen Alpha creates new terms every other weekend that it's starting to get tiring keeping up with these trends. Unless you're on the internet 24/7/365, then you'd surely know all of these and spontaneously use them. But I don't, so there's a lot I missed here, at least i believe so😭😭

The problem is, gen alpha uses all these different words and terms UNIRONICALLY. Meaning that they're actually serious. And oh, trust me they will look at you weird when you use an outdated word like "lol", "yas", or "YOLO".

So... Who can we blame for this ridiculous behaviour? Obviously, no other than millennial and generation Z parents. In my personal belief, Gen Alpha being on the internet from such a young age is seriously a bad idea. I mean, I have not one, but TWO (2) gen alpha siblings. You can imagine how hard it is from me... My 5 year old cousin goes to kindergarten and he says that he "rizzed" a girl at his class, which got him +10000 aura. Yeah, even I can't believe what this world has come to.

But from another perspective, we can do nothing about it. Maybe it's a good thing to let gen alpha on the internet? After all, we can't keep taking steps back, saying we need to quit phones and cellular devices in general. All we can do, really, is just let the future unfold. A few decades away from now, Generation Gamma or Delta or whatever, is gonna be laughing at gen alpha saying they're as old as time, probably holding a portable toilet in their hands. we never know what the future brings us🤷‍♀️

So that's it, sorry for answering your silly little question with a whole essay 🙏 thank you all for coming to my ted talk.

#my fav ask. i love this. might as well pin it #the sigmas will rise 🥶🥶#gen z culture #gen alpha #pop culture #philosophy #english literature #essay #ted talks #reine yaps

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sleepy-frog-lady · 4 months ago

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FROG LADY’S TOP TEN BEASTS:

(btw if one animal is the domesticated version of another then I counted them as the same cuz it makes the list feel less redundant)

#1 Bear:

These guys are so big and fluffy. I wanna hug one so bad. There’s this video of a bear just sitting next to a guy and it’s my favorite thing ever. I’m so jealous. I also fed a baby bear once!! Out of a baby bottle!! At Yellowstone!! It was dope. They’re also kind of scary, which is good. It makes me feel like if I could convince one to trust me, then it would keep me safe.

#2 Wolf (and dogs):

This is really a classic pick all around. They’re a good mix or edgy and cute, which are the two essential traits of a good beast to me. This is a very social and friendly beast, I feel, although they can be untrusting of humans at times. One of my most fond memories is feeding a sheep liver to wolves. Really quintessential to my development. Dogs lean more into the cuteness than the edginess but they really make it work.

#3 African Wild Cat (and domestic cats):

These gentlemen are absolutely delightful. They just look like domestic cats but longer. They’re so cute. I learned about them very recently so I don’t have much to say about them, but I have rapidly become quite fond of them. I like domestic cats too! They have a very wide spectrum of slightly spooky to violently cute and silly. I think that’s good.

#4 Ravens:

Honestly, I can’t tell the difference between ravens and crows so I just picked the one with the cooler name. I love these guys. They’re edgy cranked up to 11, at least at first glance. Very spooky, Halloween vibes. They’re also really really smart! They use tools, they remember people, and they communicate with each other. Did you know, that they’re also silly :3? Ravens have been observed rolling down snowy hills just for fun. I love that for them

#5 Rats (and mice):

This might be the single cutest entry on this list. I don’t understand how anyone is afraid of them cuz they’re just little tiny guys. They make happy noises when you tickle them! (Although these noises have to be pitched down to be audible to humans). And sometimes they grab food with their little hand while they nibble it! This is also probably the beast that humans have put in the most situations over the years. Honestly some of it makes me feel pretty bad for them. One time they made a rat with snake genes, and it just didn’t grow legs. I’m sad now. I’m going to stop talking about this.

#6 Elk:

This is a bit of a wildcard in this list, as it might be the only entry that isn’t all that cute or edgy. Instead, they have a real elegant and mysterious aura about them. They intrigue me. I would like to have a conversation with one. I also associate them a lot with when I lived in Colorado, which makes me even more fond.

#7 Pigeon:

I’m back on my cutesy shit. They guys are ADORABLE. I love the kind of absent look on their faces. I love the way the walk (and I often mimic it when I see them). I think these guys get an unfairly bad reputation. They’re so cool, and honestly, the subtle green on their necks is very pretty. They also tend to be used to humans so they might let you get pretty close to them or even touch them. I have a friend who regularly befriends and picks up pigeons. She’s very cool, and I send her pictures of birds whenever I see them.

#8 Sheep:

I used to ask my friends what animal their fursonas would be, cuz I think it’s a fun and silly question to ask people who mostly had never thought about it before. This naturally led to many of them asking me the same question, to which I didn’t have a good answer. After much deliberation, I eventually reached the conclusion that my fursona would be a sheep. Anyways, sheep are cute! Very fluffy, very social, and I love their baaaaa sounds. Good beast.

#9 Whale Sharks:

When I was young, I lived in Georgia for a few years, and I would often visit the Atlanta aquarium. In this aquarium, there is a glass tunnel surround and all sides by water and marine life. The grandeur and majesty of watching whale sharks swim peacefully overhead cannot be overstated. It was magical. It would only be years later that I learned that this was the biggest aquarium in the world, and that no other aquarium I would ever visit could quite capture that same magic.

#10 Frog:

I really expected these guys to end up higher on the list! I feel like they’re a big part of my brand, and yet they’re all the way down here. I still love these guys though. I like how slimy they look, and I like that they really small and cute, or really big and sage-like. I like that they jump far and have really long freaky tongues. I wish I had a long freaky tongue, honestly. They’re also very vocal, which is cool when you’re in their home but less cool when they’re in yours. When I was in Oklahoma City, I had to take frogs out of my apartment sometimes. Never figured out how they got in.

Honorable mentions:

* Hyena: they’re kind of dogs to me. Also they laugh funny. And I like that the males are small and submissive. Yay femdom (?)

* Fruit bat: ughhh talk about a perfect cute-edgy combo. They look so precious when they eat, by the way.

* Cow: these guys used to be my favorite! I’m shocked they fell down this low. They are very cute tho. I want to pet one

* Koi fish: these guys are very elegant and I really really like imitating the way they go “pop pop pop” with their mouths

#beast #beasts #animals #this is my best post I think #big frog lady lore drop #196

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