#DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOO

[kitsunesakii]

None of these are completely filled

Biggest lie is when I say I'll finish a sketchbook all the way

[ei-encora]

okay im gonna be fr here the rest of this is unfinished and totally based on a fic im writing rn where pickles drags nathan to wisconsin with him in the preklok/earlyklok era but it's just so good that i feel the need to post it

i started doing a blur effect with my lineart recently and its making my pieces look way more finished i feel so powerful

[purpledemonart]

AND IN COMES CMOT DIBBLER WITH A CHAIR

[itsmariejanel]

66. in love

previous [.beginning.] next > transcript under the cut 

Makoto - My sister cockblocking you two is making me miss college time. [ dreamy sigh ] Do you remember college, Sunny? Kiara - Do I remember the countless times I walked in on you? Yes, yes I do. Sock on the door? We don’t know her. Makoto - Hey, could’ve been worse! Kiara - ...How? Actually, nevermind, I don’t wanna know- Makoto - [ laughs ] If I remember correctly, I caught you once or twice- Kiara - Because you didn’t see the sock- Makoto - Do you have a foot fetish or something? Stop talking about socks!  Kiara - You’re a nightmare!

-

Morgyn - Well well well, look who’s calling me! Jace - [ chuckles ] Hi Morgyn, are you busy right now or can we chat for a bit? Morgyn - I’m at Tess’s house with the Vatores, Eva and your aunt, but I can chat! Jace - Oh, is everything alright? Morgyn - We hope so! Lilith is in a lot of pain right now, so I suggested we come here to make sure the baby’s doing okay and hopefully get some medicine. [ whispering ] She’s being quite feral lately… Lilith - DO YOU WANNA DIE MORGYN EMBER??? Morgyn - Do you see what I mean? Jace - You just called a pregnant woman feral, it’s amazing you’re still alive if you ask me- Morgyn - ANYWAYS... I came outside. Spill!!  Jace - I took your advice...  Morgyn - ......!!  Jace - I kissed Kiara after the party- Morgyn - I KNEW YOU WOULD DO IT!! I’m so excited for you, Jacey! You gotta tell me everything, how was it? Kiara - Incredible... Something out of a true dream. I’ve never had a first kiss like this before! It was [ pauses ] strangely familiar- Jace - -like we were two pieces of a puzzle that [ smiles ] fit perfectly… Morgyn - [ shrieks in excitement ] Jace - [ chuckles ] Alright, calm down! Morgyn - Jace!! You’re in love! I’m so happy for you!  Jace - … in love- Morgyn - What’s wrong? Kiara - I’m scared, Ace. I’m scared to love again… Makoto - Listen, you know better than I do that love is a scary feeling, it can be quite ugly... but! It doesn’t have to be like that, if you are with the right person, you know? And I’m gonna take a leap of faith here and tell you that Jace isn’t Dustin- Jace - No, I know she isn’t Emilia! No... She’s, she’s... special.  I guess... I don’t know. [ sighs ] I’m scared, Morgyn. Morgyn - Jace, don’t sabotage yourself. Sometimes you just gotta take that chance! We don’t know the future, but the present is what matters- I too was terrified, of love. But I understood that running from it wasn’t the answer, so I embraced it and I’ve never been happier! Caleb’s the love of my life. The Vatores are my family... Even that feral pregnant woman. So...  Makoto - Don’t run from this, Sunflower. Kiara - I don’t wanna run anymore, Ace... I’m scared but I... I do wanna be with him! Oh my god... I’m in- Jace - - [ smiles ] love with Kiara.

[jigencaps]

[lighthouseas]

when im feeling bored i start singing the wii music theme song thing to myself. it's like my loading music

[nsewell]

there has to be an easier way to find the name of a classical music piece than humming it desperately into your shazam app this is humiliating

[againwiththeturtles]

that whole study on rickrolling teaching kids and teens what links might be sus is pretty cool and all, but if I think a link is about to be a rickroll, I will click it. i’m like alrighty! time to take a break and visit my ol’ pal ricky :)

[pikminapplebloom-gaming]

Someone should make an audio post of “Tequila” by Jimmy Buffett (I think?) but it’s the Smash Bros Announcer saying it.

[insomniacblonde]

i will is one of the most romantic songs ive ever heard. and all the quiet nights you bear?????? seal them up with care???????? no one needs to no they’re there????????? for i will hold them for you???????? and we’re not out of the tunnel?????? i bet you though there’s an end????????? stay with me?????? hold my hand???????? there’s no need to be brave????????

[autoneurotic]

(four nine five three one…)

[teutaranaway]

bustafe theme song sstuck in my head. all bcoz of YOU

YAY listento adam's album too (he has only one song)

[kitsunesakii]

🚨OLD ART ALERT🚨

[h9rd-t6-miss]

eimi meets vanitas

[sirfrogsworth]

The Babylon Bee School of Comedy

Have you ever wanted to make Elon Musk reply to you with a double cry laughing emoji?

If you crave that sweet billionaire validation you need only follow this carefully crafted conservative comedy content creation course for that powerhouse of online satire... The Babylon Bee.

Soon you too could be bootlicking billionaire balls with the rest of The BBee writers.

Are you ready to get your learn on?

Let us Bee-gin.

The number one most important rule that all The BBee writers must internalize to their core...

Conservative comedy abhors effort.

Brainstorming for hours on end to craft the perfect premise and punchline... is for the Libs. Check out this Facebook meme that got 10,000 likes.

Can you order Starbucks from a bar? Doesn't matter, it's a snowflake drink for a snowflake Lib.

Does this joke not have an actual punchline? Doesn't matter, get lost you stupid Lib!

Is this technically a joke by definition? Doesn't matter, if you believe it is a joke, then it's a joke! Just like modern currency.

If you put too much thought into a joke, it might grow in complexity. That could be confusing! The death knell of any conservative joke are the words, "Hmm, that's a thinker."

This brings us to rule number two...

NO THINKERS!

Let's take this Ben Garrison comic as an example.

Spell everything out! Label everything! Don't leave anything to the imagination! If your audience has to figure something out or draw their own conclusions, what fun is that?

Conservatives want to hear things that are familiar. They want their beliefs parroted back at them. You must regurgitate those beliefs and then just make it *sound* like a joke. Don't break new ground or introduce new ideas. Don't get all caught up in interesting wordplay or clever puns or subverting expectations.

All expectations should be fully verted.

That is definitely a word because I saw someone use it on Facebook. End of research.

Here is a helpful tip. If you can't imagine the joke coming out of the mouth of late night comedy genius GUTFELD!, then you need to dial it back a bit. Do not surpass GUTFELD! levels of humor. GUTFELD! is your touchstone.

Oh, GUTFELD! I laughed so hard I FELD it in my GUT.

See, I went too far with my fancy pun. That is not the GUTFELD! way.

But what happens if inspiration is fleeting and you can't pay attention to your comedy writing task because you don't believe ADHD is real and thus you are unmedicated?

Don't you worry. If you do happen to get writer's block or are distracted by a funny Pepe meme or a shiny object, just call your racist uncle and say the magic word... "Bidenflation."

As the ensuing unhinged rant darts from subject to subject without any kind of connecting theme, just start writing down every right wing buzzword you hear. Then just insert those buzzwords Mad Libs-style into a derivative joke format.

Let's practice!

Ex. 1: Why did the PRONOUNS cross the BORDER? To get to the DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!

Ex. 2: How many GENDERS does it take to GROOM a lightbulb? Two! One to hold the BUTT PLUG and one to GO WOKE, GO BROKE.

Great start! I'm sure with a polishing pass those will make more sense. Or not. The bar is pretty much "will it get clicks?" so we're not too worried about coherence.

Heh... Mad Libs.

U MAD, LIBS?

Get it? Cuz Libs are always mad? About the normalized bigotry and whatnot.

Jokes are always better when you need to explain them.

Oh! That's another rule. Write that down. Wisdom like this is why I am teaching this course, of course. Hah, that's like that horse show song. I got jokes coming out the wazoo. Wazoo is my butt, right? Siri, is wazoo a butt? Oof, I'm kinda spacing on what the next lesson is.

I really wish Matt Walsh hadn't flushed my Adderall down the crapper.

Can I get a second opinion? Top Gun was so good. What does Tom Cruise think about ADHD? He always has good takes on stuff like this. Did I leave my oven on? Shazam, what song goes doodoo doo doo doooooo? Can you vacuum a yard? Has anyone tried that? That sounds more like a marijuana thought than an ADHD tangent. I should double check the THC content of that cotton candy vape juice.

I'm flyin' off the rails over here.

Matt, are you super duper sure it's not real?

Okay, fine. I'm an "energetic boy."

I hope whichever fish absorbs my meds is extra focused on whatever fish shit he needs to get done.

COMEDY WRITING!

Sometimes it is best to learn through observation. Let's eavesdrop on an actual The BBee writer's room to see how the sausage is made...

"So what did your racist uncle have to say?"

"Well, first he texted me a cameraphone picture of Trump as an astronaut that he wants me to print out cuz he doesn't know what a crypto wallet is... but then he said all the woke schools are turning kids into a bunch of gay commies."

"EUREKA!"

Classic! The BBee writers strike again. I mean, they aren't striking. There is no commie clamoring for a union at The Babylon Bee. That's for damn sure. FOCUS!

Do you get the joke though? With the kids and the gay and the communism?

Because all of those woke schools totally cover complex economic theories in 4th grade and all it takes to turn gay is a little persuasion from a teacher with green hair. Libs of TikTok wouldn't lie about that. End of research.

Look at this public school teacher!

I mean, you knooow she has a litter box in her classroom. I can just sense it. End of research.

Sure... it is just a context-free picture of a person with green hair in front of a flag and you cannot actually judge the quality of their teaching ability from this. But yoouuu knoooooow she is skipping right over grammar lessons and giving detailed instructions on how to turn gay.

Step 1: Look at a bunch of butts. Step 2: Touch a bunch of butts. Step 3: Gay sex a bunch of butts.

(Replace butts with cooches for lesbians.)

Grooming accomplished.

And you definitely shouldn't look up that green-hair'd, nose ring'd educator and research her any further. Extensive research is for the Libs, bro. Because you definitely don't want to discover she is a passionate high school English teacher who makes fun content on TikTok in the hopes that people will buy things off her wishlist so her students will have a better learning experience. I mean, caring about her students? That's so gay.

YoooOOOuuuUUU knnnooooooOOOw she is a bad teacher because she has green hair and a flag. End. Of. Research.

So... you have your gay communist headline that is perfect to get all of those sweet conservative clicks. But you still have a full webpage to fill out with more words and stuff.

Now I want to see if you learned anything from my perfectly focused and informative teachings. I want you to write some jokes about kids becoming gay communists.

Ready? GO!

Joke #1 Little Billy has wealthy parents so all the students will share his cookie at snack time.

Joke #2 At the beginning of the day, students pick a new gender out of a hat but all the kids fight over Attack Helicopter.

Joke #3 At lunch, the students have to stand in a peanut butter and jelly bread line.

Joke #4 The teacher makes the kids take turns combing each others' hair for a grooming session.

Wait a sec... are those... THINKERS?

No no no no no! You made my brain all confused and thinky!

You need to calm down, you overachieving silly billy. You forgot the first rule... NO EFFORT.

Just make the same joke over and over again with slightly different wording. EASY!

Remember the classic final rule of comedy...

Jokes always get funnier the more you repeat them.

Anyway, that's probably enough... joke.

Now let's close this article out!

Maybe we can drop the pretense this is comedic satire and just do some hardcore pandering. Gotta own the Libs, amirite?

Gender theory and drag queens and guns, oh my! That is pure pander-monium.

Just shove those factless tactless Tucker talking points straight down their gullet. They'll forget this was supposed to be funny and shake their fist in the air with exaltation. And it's definitely a great idea to put the thought of gunning down drag queens in their heads. That won't backfire in any way!

Congratulations! You are now ready to "write" for The Babylon Bee.

Please purchase this official Trump NFT certificate for $99 that acknowledges that you have completed this course and have a very poor understanding of what satire actually is.

End of research.

[oliverreedmasterass]

You know there’s something so magical about the weight of dreams solo when Jake goes

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