#DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING MY ASS
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DO NOT TRUST @luvt0kki SHE'S CONNIVING AND CALCULATIVE
#DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING MY ASS#HOW DARE#I#OQJJSJSSS#FOR FUCK'S SAKE#BRB WARNING SCARLET#smt tmi
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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I'm going to piss off a lot of people by saying this, but so many of them who side with Rhys saying that he didn't tell Feyre that the baby was going to kill her because "it was too stressful" would have been singing a COMPLETELY different tune if he had given her an abortion without her knowing. Y'all only like HIS choice because the fetus lived.
#because at the root of it it's such a prolife fuckass thing to do#not giving the mother ANY choice or agency because it'll allegedly stress her out#guess what#STILL HER BODY#STILL HER CHOICE#that you're stripping her of because you think you know her best and you just don't want to upset her#which makes it palatable for you guys#but if he had gone behind her back and given her a magic abortion tea or something#and just didn't tell her#because he didn't want to stress her out#suddenly y'all fake ass people would be like “oh my God what happened to her body her choice”#anti rhysand#anti inner circle#anti acosf#anti sjm#anti feysand
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talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)
i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.
There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.
i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.
anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.
then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.
then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.
there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).
it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.
With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".
mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.
I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).
anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.
#txt#i was thinking abt knocking off some of my longer posts on my tumblr but ya know its tumblr. its made for a blog#twitter isnt really a good place to write think pieces because its not really made for thinkpieces#i really enjoy expressing my thoughts on discourse and media but i don't want to over do it because ya know. you guys followed me for my ar#not my 2434334th post about why i think helluva boss is a bad show#but i've been thinking about sometimes prioritizing what i want to do vs what people want to see from me. so now you're getting#a long ass rant about why i think velma showing two teenagers kissing by episode 2#encapsulates the overall issue with modern queer rep
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Here's part two of drawing my family pictures as the Bad Batch because I can and you can't stop me
#i can tell you right now that drawing their armor was a fucking pain in the ass#and the l e g s jesus fucking christ#why do i have to care about anatomy#don't ask where crosshair and wrecker's legs are btw i wouldn't know#fun fact the original picture is from our summer vacation to Italy back in 2018#tech is me in this picture actually real and true#another fun fact#omega's eyebrows were blonde until the very last minute because i felt like they looked kinda odd#and she does actually have dark eyebrows in the show so--#i don't know if they look any better now but ehh good enough#hunter looks so wrong for some reason but i can't fix him i'm sorry#also yes they're all in their blacks because a) i couldn't be bothered to draw all the armor again and b) they deserve the comfort#i might do proper shadings if i find the motivation for this but until then this is what you're getting#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#the bad batch fanart#bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#hunter#omega#crosshair#wrecker#echo#tech#the clone wars#star wars#star wars fanart#art#my art
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oh yeah btw the spy tommy mastermind who is a tv writer (allegedly) couldn't even crack the case of the dinner scene which lasted for a minute and couldn't have been more clean-cut... i'm sensing that those tuition fees won't be paying off
#i know i know i shouldn't be bitchy they did provide me with a very humorous evening after all#but how are you gonna flex that you know what you're doing and then say stupid ass shit like this lmao#not to mention the 'well the spy thing would explain why was oliver upset with the bi storyline' and i'm like??#where was he upset?? i think you're confusing an actor who you never met and don't know with yourself#which points to some real serious trouble but oh well#i got a good laugh out of it and yet another person added to my ever growing block list#ramblings
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people under 21 should not legally be allowed to have opinions sorry
edit because apparently I have to say this: I obviously dont mean EVERY teenager in the world. sometimes things just aren't about you. this post is about the 400 15-18 year olds I see Monday-Friday and sometimes Saturday
#my students drove me CRAZY today#I have 4 senior boys that always want to get into political discussions with me and unfortunately I teach at a country ass school#so you know what they're like#I love these boys but god damn#teenagers are just awful#if you're a teenager im sorry but you're awful#you'll grow out of it though so don't worry#you just have to experience the world beyond your narrow ass viewpoint#and if you're a teenager reading this like 'but I dont have a narrow viewpoint of the world' im sorry but you do#I promise you do#you just have no experience#you'll get some though
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yuri lowell versus gacha games
(*Rays translations in these screenshots belong to me and have been inputted into my own game. full scene hasn't been posted yet)
ability to use his arm and thus fight with that arm lost temporarily in Link before being beat the absolute fuck up by a guy who nearly captured him, threw him in a dungeon and left him barely alive;
brainwashed/memory wiped and given altered memories temporarily in Asteria;
a transgressor from apparently (game shut down before we got a backstory - or frankly anything else at all) being caught committing a crime and put on Vision Central and thus condemned by the majority of the viewers as guilty in Crestoria;
Yuri doing just fine in Rays except Flynn's body is being used by another guy and he does not fucking like it and has a glorious meltdown and is no longer doing just fine upon finding out.
that, uh, does not include the fact that he was seen by Glastein in Rays arc 4 who has a deep obsession with dark hair officially he says black hair but yuri's is purple i'll die on that hill and he also likes lukius' hair too which is clearly brown so uh I'M saying dark hair and commented very very creepily on the length and shine of Yuri's hair and how he wanted to take it home with him.
so yeah! uh! Yuri's gacha life, everyone!
#GTF Yuri Things#they trick you by giving out ample alts of him and making him front and center in all the games#(crestoria was about to so i give them that at least)#and making him all important in the stories... and then they beat him up physically or emotionally#like man Link arc 2 was NOT kind to him LMAO man was physically knocked around so bad#GACHA GAMES DO NOT TREAT YURI VERY KINDLY DO NOT BE FOOLED BY ALL HIS ALTS LMAO#nah i love you claw just. you know. you're still technically. brainfucked yuri. but. i love you bby.#i just wanted to make a shitpost abt the fact that yuri's gacha life sucks LMAOOOO#(reason i left out the glastein scene is bc i don't have that scene properly translated yet so it's not even in my game yet#i usually wait to put translated files into my game until i have the full scene done#so no creepy ass fuckin' glastein screenshots yet)#NOT TO SAY THE GACHA GAMES' STORIES ARE NOT AMAZING BC THEY ARE#just. yuri uh. well. he uh. he gets knocked around. he is not given the happiest storylines.#and no I'm not joking about the Yuri having a meltdown over Flynn thing#and I'm VERY strict about my own translations LOL#so no nobody can pull the ''weh weh she's just a shipper'' actually no i just tl what's in front of me and work with char tone#covering that base before someone tries to crawl up my ass bc god i know they're out there somewhere#whatever the original says i translate to the best of my ability without bias#i might like the content but i never alter content bc god knows i blow a fuse over loc yuri on the daily LMAO
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i just think it’s so sick and twisted gortash canonically has abs. like him being hairy isn’t enough i also need him to be fat. it’s like when people make mods that smooth out his old ass face or whiten his yellow ass teeth, but it’s real. i need to see his muffin top more than i need to see anything else in this game.
#enver gortash#durgetash#i did not care about him at all my first run i was like ‘old man anime boy- boring- whatever- i like the lobster suit lady more’ and moved#on. it took playing durge for me to be like 'actually i gotta worship this man's hairy bhaals i think' which is the correct way to go for a#character. he's whatever then you learn about his history with your player character and you're like 'okayy. listening- seated- on my#knees- you already know what i'm doing down there.' in reality his shitty hair cut and yellow ass teeth are entirely what makes him hot and#that would entirely be elevated by a fat stomach i don't make the rules. this is also true of halsin. actually no party member should have#muscles they should just varying amounts stomach fat to attend to MY preferences exclusively. hope this helps!
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I like live streams but I wish they were not the main form of mcyt content. Or at least not starting to become that. Like it....really is not a sustainable way to do every single smp you ever make. A lot of people don't have time to catch streams and barely have time to watch vods as well (and most people only watch 1-5 streamers. Imagine watching MORE.) LIFE SERIES is a challenge for me and lots of others to get through, let alone several 2-7 hour long livestreams.
Plus some people are gonna stop watching because they're only there for the lore and they'd rather save time than skim through several streams just to find it yk? After a certain point condensing them down into 15-30 (maybe 40) minute videos and making lore summaries is a necessity or your gonna lose viewers. (ESPECIALLY if you have a large cast meaning more characters to impact each other and the plot)
Idk I follow a lot of streamers and there's like...less than 10 who I have ever/would sit through a full stream from them, lore happening or not.
#I am so tired of trying to catch multiple pirtaes streams to know any of the lore#Qsmp less so because I watch less streamers (and there's lore recaps out there)#+ I like watching the cubitos hang out more than I like having to skim thru 10+ vods of pirates just. Sailing for 4 hours#Some outsiders povs were a pain in the ASS to get through. I spent HALF of my summer break watching vods for that smp#There's also an issue of streamers not archiving vods so if you show up late you're screwed. Which videos and lore summaries partially solv#That issue. You don't have the full vod but at least you know the important stuff that happened#Idk I stopped hyperfixating and I quickly got very disillusioned with stream only content#After a certain point it just becomes unfair to expect people to watch as many streams as possible I think#ren posting#But what do I know I've just spent the last year+ of my life mainly consuming minecraft streams and no other content/s
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Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.
@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.
You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.
I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).
So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.
I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.
(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.
Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.
Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)
I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.
Don't give money to childish jerks.
#how fucking dare you lmao#the gall is just mind boggling#nerdykeppie#this is the last time I'm addressing this period.#tagging it only so other people looking at the tag can make informed decisions about whether to give their money elsewhere#you would think a business would give a shit about its founder being an ass in public on the social media site where you get large amounts#of your publicity and advertising but hey#not my funeral!#they can shoot themselves in the foot as many times as they please#but their potential customers should know this is what they do and how they behave!#also loving the incel response of “you turned me down?? well I never wanted to fuck you anyway!!!”#yeah uh huh sure you totally had no plans to use my photos#that's why you asked for my permission to use my photos#but whatever makes you feel soothed from your hissy fit I guess#don't buy from nerdykeppie#keep digging that hole babe you're just making yourself look worse and worse and worse#side note#there is little funnier#than someone throwing an extremely public tantrum#because you (gasp) reported on the words they said and actions they took of their own volition#HOW DARE I SHARE THE THINGS YOU SAY#what a monster I am for making you look so bad by publishing the things you said that are bad!#keep digging that hole I'll keep saving all the screenshots#if I have to involve a lawyer fine#not my fault not my doing not my job to shield a grownass adult business owner from the consequences#of throwing a massive shitfit tantrum in public over being exposed for throwing a massive shitfit tantrum because#and I cannot stress this enough#HE#misunderstood ME#and doubled down when I apologized
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legend has it people can dislike characters for their extremely questionable racist past rather than it having anything to do with which ship is better but you didn't hear it from me
#i'm Aware. aware. of how annoying certain people are being about that man#but i also have a brain and i'm aware at least SOME people are more mad about the fact#he was a racist asshole?? to two of the main characters and it's never. talked about. and people keep brushing over it. idk!#anti tommy kinard#i don't want him dead or anything but i find it odd he's. there without reflecting on that shit at ALL#besides “i wasn't a good person under my old captain” you're a grown man#what do i know though#this fandom contains multitudes (of stupid ass people drowning out anyone with sense)#this isn't really anti to me because i'm. literally just acknowledging. his canonical past. but whatever#911 fox
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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what do you consider the heart of californication? like really carries through the series & makes it compelling
thank you for this question, i really love it. to me, it's a number of things, starting with that the show cares deeply about hank and takes him seriously in a way that the culture doesn't. in a way, yes, he's their dog and pony show with the funny one-liners and the salacious pull. but the arc of the series is unequivocally aligned with him and his desires and his needs and his values.
hank wants to be with his family, wants to be better for them, wants to not let them down- and the show needs him to fail at all of those things. for the dog and pony of it all, for their viewership and for their thesis and for the food in their mouths, but it simultaneously feels bad that he is failing. simultaneously knows that this isn't what he wants, and that it's sad. and it can be as simple as a dream sequence or a look or a quiet final scene, but every single episode is ultimately going to remind you that everything you're laughing at is a loss.
which, like i said at the top, speaks to a level of respect that the show had for the character that is just gone in discussions of the series. they take the time to recognize that he is missing something. he is losing something and he is without everything that means anything to him, this is the cost. equally important, duchovny respects that character and understands the same.
i was listening to an interview last night (trish you heard this) where he was speaking with some podcast dudebros and one of the hosts said that he always wanted to be just like hank moody, and then he made some "bad decisions" and got there, and he doesn't like it. and duchovny said that every time people come up to him saying "i'm just like hank moody," he says "i'm sorry."
men watch and they want to be just like hank moody and women watch and they want to fuck hank moody so bad, and all of you miss what the source comprehends: that it's an irreparable deficit.
other than that, i feel like what roots that show is that it really isn't all that cynical. not in the way that it could be. and the show believes in hank.
there is a lot of kindness and hope (often false hope) that runs underneath most every relationship and interaction and dynamic in the series and i really really appreciate that about it. it's like in the pilot when hank is being mean and he wants marcy to yell at him and she just says "go home, honey. sleep it off. tomorrow's another day."
there's always a little bit of understanding and grace amongst the crazies and i think there's something really special about that
#gave up on this <3 you're gonna pick up what i put down. i trust#people on this show love each other. that's the heart of californication#at the end of s3 when one of the women that hank had slept with (felicia) says 'it's all done with great affection' about#them dragging him to HELLLLLLL all day lol#'come here. be happy in new york.'#and she goes back in to her husband. happy and laughing#that's just one of my favorite scenes because everyone on the show wants the best for each other#and it isn't just people being lenient and softer than deserved with hank#he is extremely loving to family/friends/random women#and all of the characters are so good and thoughtful to each other#it's nice in a way that stands out in a sardonic comedy that's reduced to 'tits and ass'#there is so much compassion and care cycling through everybody#that's what carries the series for ME. and i don't think i could really explain it further#even random scenes like lew ashby coming into the bathroom to talk to becca when she's sobbing and won't let her mom in#there isn't any reason for him to do that. it isn't because he wants to fuck karen. it isn't because he's a particularly charitable person.#it's because it's his buddy's kid and he wants her to feel better#i don't think there's a character on the show who wouldn't do that for bec or for the core 4 or for mia#but anyway i know what you mean and i think those things are mainly what grounds it#that it's ultimately compassionate and that it respects its lead#californication
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and then an overwhelming sense of dread apear.
#finished my last exam for this year YAY YIPPEE YAHOO ETC. but also now we wait for if i pass or not DREAD FEAR WARINESS ETC.#which i rlly don't think i will like. did not feel good abt the 1st exam period felt worse abt the 2nd and this one is like.....idk idk...#pretty confident abt the books part of the exam bc i KNOW i got everything on that correct but the thing is it was an oral exam and i was#stumbling over my words so bad + my voice was quivering i could hear it. hoping they don't count that as minus points but for the speech#thing i also had to do 2day they DO include how your voice sounds when you speak and like stammering and such in the final point count so#like. what if it's the same there.....ALSO they include use of gesturing to emphasize what you're saying and CORRECT EYE CONTACT in the#final point count. which. i don't have a problem with gesturing & i had a piece of paper in my hands so at least i wasn't too bad on that#front but when it comes to eye contact it's only flitting eyes or unnerving stare with me and nothing in between so i'm completely fucked i#that regard.#r.txt#WHATEVER it's done now. stupid ass weird rules WHO CARES if i don't have correct usage of eye contact what even is correct usage of eye#contact?????? like HOW am i supposed to know what the quote correct amount unquote is man. ALSO WHO GIVE A SHIT.#anyway going 2 luxembourg with my family for two weeks on august 5th probably. maybe sooner maybe later. we're going hiking + camping ⛺🌲👣#but the hiking is mostly done without backpacks and the camping is gonna be in campings. camping places. however english calls it.#which is a little less fun but also easier. but also less fun. but ANYWAY we're going on vacation and my final exam is done so no more#stress 💪🥳🙏🗣💥‼ (<- guy who's SO gonna be still having stress until the results come in. and then some afterwards. yay 4 me 🙂👍)
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I think the thing about the way people conceptualize empathy is... when you're interacting with other people, they are going through things that, which you may empathize with, you won't always understand, partially because you're two different people, but also because not all situations are 1:1 copy-pastes that are easy to understand.
This isn't saying that empathy is useless, but that acknowledging when you relate personally to somebody and yet also recognizing that this is their struggle is important. When people pretended to empathize with me, it made me feel like I was being placated to. I felt like people were only trying to shut me up by saying that they, personally, "get it," when I knew they didn't. I just don't want people replicating that because they genuinely do want to help the people in their lives.
#empathy#mental health#that's why i stopped talking to my dad for YEARS before he went on his own effort to learn about this sort of stuff#it just sucks to be treated as badly as you're feeling basically#and this doesn't even get into the idea that empathy isn't a requirement in human interaction for every little thing#empathy is as much a tool as any other experience can be - and like any tool you can use it in hurtful ways...#...even if you didn't mean to use that tool in that way#a friend of mine is going through Some Shit that i know from personal experience SUCKS ASS...#...but also. they're going through it in different circumstances and at a different time than me and that means it's a DIFFERENT SITUATION.#...so yes i know the heartache and the anger and the loss of will and all of that...#...but i don't know what it's like to go through it like they are and that is FINE#it's just frusterating seeing people act like empathy is going to fix the other person without any work being put into it#it's the fantasy of doing a lot with such little effort
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