#DON'T ALLOW THE OPTION IF THIS IS HOW YOU'RE GONNA ACT

[sejarcus-archive]

AO3 not letting me upload comments cause it either says it's spam or spam and over 10k WHEN IT'S LITERALLY UNDER I'M GOING CRAZYYYYYYYY

[whateverloomis]

hi! can you please make a virgin reader x experienced billy loomis story? maybe the story can take place in billy's car or at his house when parents are out.

Grrr thank's for this request anon! I've been meaning to write a virgin reader fic. Get ready 😈

Warnings: Virgin reader, AFAB reader (no pronouns used,) public sex, car sex, making out, Billy is kinda sweet here idk, unprotected sex (wrap it up babes, trust me,) || Edited: June'24

Word count: 2.6k

Note: This has some elements inspired by the song "97" by Doja Cat

-

"We're going to the drive in tonight, you wanna tag along?" Tatum asked and you thought about it for a second, not really in the mood to hang out. "Billy's gonna be there, maybe you can tag along with him, hm?" She continued and winked at you. You bit your lower lip at the thought of being alone with him yet again...

You're not sure how it happened exactly, but the word got around that you had a little crush on Billy. With him having broken up with Sidney you didn't want to make things weird between everyone in the group, so you opted for the best option at the time which was keeping it to yourself . That was until suddenly everything changed.

After one of the many hang outs the group had at Machers residence, you decided to stay a little later once everyone left to help Stu clean up, which didn't take very long. When you were ready to leave, as you exited the door you encountered Billy and gasped in surprise and slight fear. He hadn't joined this get together and you were partly thankful, partly upset at his absence.

"Fuck! You scared me!" You said startled before closing the door behind you.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Billy replied, laughing softly at your reaction.

His close proximity made you blush and avoid looking up at him, but it was impossible with the boy searching for your eyes. You had been low-key avoiding him all week. Your crush kept growing and growing every time you saw him and you promised yourself you wouldn't let it get that far. Avoiding him was the only thing that seemed right.

You tried to walk past him after mumbling, "It's okay, i'll see you around," but Billy grabbed your arm and spun you around to face him.

"No, I- You didn't do anything. I'm just feeling kinda off, I guess... In general." You lied and he could see right through you. You knew he did.

"Hey, what's going on? You've been acting weird around me all week." He said and you finally met his eyes. He had doubt written all over his face. Curiosity.

"C'mon, don't be like that. Talk to me." He said and you sighed, trying to stay calm and formulate your next words carefully.

"I've just been a little bit thrown off. There's this guy that I kinda like, but he's unavailable." You played around with your words, trying to explain things without it being too obvious.

"How come?" Billy asked, interested in what you were saying.

"Well, we have a friend in common and I don't want to make things weird and such." You said, feeling good with the way you explained everything.

"Mm, yeah. I get what you mean." He replied and you looked at him, eyes wide in surprise.

"You... Do?" Your voice sounded a bit disappointed, but you kept your strength on display. You couldn't give yourself away.

You moved your lips with his, mimicking his movements. His tongue brushed your lower lip softly and you allowed him to run it against your own. Play with each other. He was a great fucking kisser and you didn't want to stop for one second.

"Yeah, I've been wanting to do something about it but I haven't had the chance... until now." He replied and took a step towards you. You were confused with his actions. He wouldn't possibly mean you, right?

Your question got immediately answered as his hand cupped your face and he pulled you towards him, placing a soft kiss on your lips. Billy's the second person you've ever kissed and it made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Suddenly you heard the door knob turn and pulled away from Billy, leaving enough distance between you two so that it didn't look like anything was happening.

"YN? I thought you lef- Billyyyy, hey. What are you doing here?" Stu asked his friend trying to fake that he didn't know he would come over. Billy rolled his eyes and glared at Stu before turning to look at you again. "See you around YN." He said and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly before walking into Stu's house.

You were shocked, happy, confused, soaked between your legs and going insane before leaving Stu's house and going to your house where you couldn't sleep for the night because the excitement consumed you.

You snapped back to reality to what Tatum was saying; "Billy's gonna be there, maybe you can tag along with him, hm?" she continued and winked at you. You bit your lower lip at the thought of being alone with him yet again. You never really told anyone directly about you guys having a mutual crush, or that you've been on the kissing phase for a while but you had a feeling Stu and Tatum knew. I mean c'mon, Stu and Billy were best friends and Tatum was all in for the gossip so I'm sure she got the info out of Stu at some point.

After that night, you guys made out everywhere; your house, his house, at the park, behind the college campus, in empty class rooms, you name it. However, it never went further than that, until that night... The drive in night...

That left Randy and Sidney. They were kinda oblivious to the whole thing, especially Randy. He was too busy trying to win Sidney's heart when she clearly wasn't interested. Poor guy.

"Okay, fine. Since I'm not gonna be driving." -- "Who's not gonna be driving?" Billy joined the conversation with Stu and Randy by his side. "Me, because I'm going with you to the drive in according to Tatum." you answered. Stu smirked at you and then at Billy who glared at him then smiled at you softly. A silent agreement.

"Awwhh fuck! Everyone has a date but me?!" Randy whined and you widened your eyes. Date.

"We're just friends, Randy. Chill." Billy answered and gave you a reassuring look after his words. He didn't want to hurt you, and you understood.

"Good! So I can join you then?" Randy said and looked at you as if he could convince you instead of Billy, but of course that wasn't going to work. You really wanted to be alone with Billy at the drive in and see where the night took you guys, Randy wasn't going to ruin that for you.

"I uh... Y'know? I have a friend who's single and cute! I can set you up." You responded and winked at him. His desperate self accepted right away and you exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

"Fuck yeah! It's set, see you guys at 8pm!" Stu practically shouted before picking Tatum up over his shoulders and walking away.

•

Billy picked you up in his dads red colored 97' Benz. You didn't care if it wasn't his car, he looked hot as fuck in it. It was slick, the red looked intense with how polished and shiny the car was, and you were ready for a long night inside of it.

You had been fantasizing about that night since the invitation. You wanted to go a bit further than just kissing with Billy. Make a bold move or something. You didn't have any experience unlike him but you felt so ready and needy to feel more of him. To feel the unknown. However, you couldn't deny that you did feel scared to some degree. You knew nothing when it came to sex and you didn't want to do anything stupid.

At the drive in, you met with the rest of the group at the entrance and hung out for a while, drinking and sharing candy before the movie started. Then you all chose hidden spots to park, like most people did.

You didn't even know what the movie was about, just that it was some kind of cheap slasher. Billy and you made small talk for the first few minutes of the movie while sharing sweets with each other. The tension between you grew by the minute and you were starting to get nervous. You didn't know if you should've made a first move or something. It's not like you guys hadn't done anything before, but that moment felt different.

"Is that the only one left?" You asked him, frowning as he picked up a small chocolate bar from the assorted candy you bought.

"You wanna share it?" Billy asked, laughing at your little frown. He found it adorable.

You nodded and watched as he unwrapped it, waiting for him to split the candy, but instead he bit one of the ends and held it there. Billy cupped your face and pulled you towards his, poking your bottom lip with the chocolate and you instantly knew what he was asking you to do. You bit the other end of the bar and you guys split it in half, your lips meeting in the end. You gave each other one lingering kiss before parting and savoring the chocolate. You bit your lip and blushed at what had happened. It was too hot for you to handle and you were already feeling yourself getting wet between your legs.

"I didn't realize that was my favorite chocolate until now." Billy said and you giggled at his words. He was so freaking smooth it drove you insane, so you leaned in and kissed him again, deepening it and using your tongue to play around with his. You ran your hands through his hair and pulled it slightly which made him release the quietest moan. You smiled into the kiss and moved across the car dash to sit on his lap, on the drivers seat.

You immediately felt his hard on against your core and started to grind against it slowly. It was an instinctual move from your part. Billy placed his hands on your hips and made you grind against him a bit faster. His breathing picked up and you released little moans that echoed around the car.

Billy's hands traveled up your thigh and under your skirt. He squeezed the flesh and it sent goosebumps all over your body. He hooked his thumbs under your thong (bold choice of underwear that day,) and started to play with the fabric, testing the waters. When his fingers traveled close to your core you tensed up and stopped kissing him.

"Mm, sorry-" -- "Are you okay?" Billy asked immediately, concern evident in his words.

"Yeah, I just... I've never really... Gone further than making out." You replied, looking away from him, ashamed.

"Hey, it's okay. We can stop if y-" -- "No! No, I don't want to stop... You just..." You paused and ran your hand through his hair, "...have so much experience and I-" -- "It's okay baby, there's nothing wrong with that... Just means I can make you feel really good."

Baby.

You bit your lip and he smirked at you before tapping your thigh. "Get back in your seat, we're getting out of here." He said and you did what he said, no questions asked.

Billy pulled out of the drive in with the headlights off to not bother anyone, but mainly so you guys didn't get caught.

As Billy drove away from the place, he opened the windows and sun roof. The stars were on full display as well as the moon. You rested your arm on the door, admiring the scenery and feeling wildly content as well as a bit reckless. You were ready to risk it all that night with Billy.

•

Billy and you drove into a secluded area with a perfect view of a lake and the beautiful night sky. There were a few other cars parked in the area but you could barely see them, much less anyone inside them.

Once you guys were parked, Billy looked at you and patted his lap, smirking at you when you complied in sitting on him again. You didn't waste time and kissed him again, this time hungrier than ever. Billy grabbed your ass and moved you against his already hard cock, making you grind against him like you were before. You felt him grow more beneath you and moaned at the feeling. Pawing and pulling at his hair again you both made little noises that filled the quietness of the car.

"Fuck... We're taking this outside." Billy whispered and opened the door, walking out with your legs wrapped around his torso and arms around his neck. He placed you on the hood of the Benz, the moon light visible on the shiny hood of the car. He kneeled down and kissed up your sensitive thighs. You bit your lip to muffle any noise that could've come out of you but it was nearly impossible. Once Billy reached your core, he took your thong off with his teeth and tossed them God know's where in the woods.

"You're soaked and I haven't even touched you yet" He said and chuckled before licking a stripe up your folds. You threw your head back at the sensation. Billy licked and sucked your cunt like it was his last meal. He moaned against your core and it sent vibrations up your spine. Flicking and sucking on your clit repeatedly and softly you swore you were gonna pass out from the pleasure. Once it built up, you felt a need you hadn't felt before. You needed something inside you.

Your cunt throbbed and ached to have something fucking it, anything, so you grabbed Billy's left hand and moved it towards your center, and he knew exactly what you wanted. He ran his ring and middle finger along your slit and slowly dipped them in all while he was licking and sucking your clit. Finally, he inserted his fingers all the way in your cunt and started to finger fuck you slowly. All the myths you had heard weren't true, you definitely felt a stretch but it was so good. The feeling of getting filled up and getting your g spot stimulated felt amazing, especially while he was working on your clit.

"Yes! Yes, fuck... Fuck me, please Billy, please..." You started to beg. You needed more, wanted to feel him fuck you so desperately.

Billy smirked at your plea and pulled his fingers out of you, licking them clean after. "You taste so fucking good." He said and turned you around on the hood of the car. You heard him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants quickly before positioning you to align his throbbing cock with your center.

"Wait!" You said and looked back at him. He looked at you knowingly. "I'll pull out, I promise. It feels better this way." You didn't have the energy to fight him on the matter, you just wanted to get fucked, so you gave in.

Billy started to slide in slowly, allowing you to get used to the feel and stretch. You threw your head back in pleasure as you felt every inch of him fill you up. He felt big and you hugged his cock perfectly.

"You feel so good." He said and started moving inside you. "So. Fucking. Good." His thrusts divided his words. You couldn't say anything coherent at that point, you were moaning and whining. Digging your nails in the hood of the car which was probably going to leave marks but neither of you cared.

Billy turned you around to face him and you wrapped your legs around him. He held your thighs to keep you against the hood while he pounded into you. You pulled his hair and bit his shoulder to keep yourself quiet, and he groaned at the feeling. He likes pain?

"I'm not gonna cum until you do." He whispered in your ear and started to rub your clit while he fucked you raw. The pleasure increased immensely at the stimulation and you were surprisingly closer than you thought. The build up felt intense. Both stimulations combined and coursed through your body. You couldn't help but move against him. Feeling him impossibly deep inside you, that's when you came around his cock. You didn't care to be quiet at that point so you moaned and panted like a wild animal. Billy thrusted a few more times before pulling out and cuming on your thigh.

You both panted as you rested your forehead against his.

"That was-" -- "Amazing." He interrupted you and you let out a breathy laugh before looking at him, then looked around.

"So, who's cleaning this up?" You asked, half joking half serious. Billy laughed and looked up in defeat. "We'll figure it out."

[pressplay-if]

To think I was worried about this IF ending up too short for anyone to be interested.

The hospital section in this Chapter alone is only getting longer and longer. I keep thinking of new important details and little extra scenes to add just to complete the psych ward experience (TM).

Some interesting details about Zima and MC's past mental state below cut (might be important):

Zima has now had their first interview section, mainly determining the details of the nature of their past involvement with MC. There's a total of four options. If you enjoyed the choice of Stevie having a crush on MC, you're gonna love this.

MC can be hospitalized due to either depression or social anxiety, as these are the only conditions that I feel wholly comfortable writing. I considered also offering a combination of the two, but ultimately decided against it, as the MC's oast mental illness will eventually influence the future of the story and I want those paths to be very distinct and different.

Please mind that, while everyone who suffers from mental illness of any kind has their own totally subjective and individual experience with it, I'm writing social phobic and depressive MCs with certain "set" symptoms. Here are some set elements:

Social phobia MCs experience physical symptoms and selective mutism. They are nervous and quiet, so all their interactions, especially in the beginning of their hospitalization (even when picking the antagonistic options) will reflect that. So if you're wondering why MC seems to be acting meek or "submissive", it's bc of their affliction not allowing them to be as outspoken as they might like to be. Social phobia MCs have a general exhaustion of life, given they live in constant stress, but they do not self-harm. They are prone to sleep disturbances.

Depressive MCs experience listlessness, irritation (which can makes them more prone to acting aggressively), feelings of self-loathing and dissatisfaction. They have a heightened need for sleep and will report not wanting to get out of bed. They can, in fact, choose to be currently practicing self-harm, or to have done so in the past. However, even if they choose to have never self-harmed, they will report thoughts of suicide.

Either MC will be medicated during their time in the clinic. It's a small text section and a slight bit vague as my medical knowledge, despite my research efforts, is limited. The MC will get to choose how to feel about the drugs and the potential side effects, though.

Either MC will be able to additionally describe symptoms indicating neurodivergence.

Either MC can choose to be underage smoking, drinking or both during this time. Or neither, of course.

So thanks for reading all that! Small disclaimer: I know very well that the depression and social phobia symptoms I chose to write about are NOT universally representative. This all might sound like the routes are very set, but there's actually a ton of customization going on in this chapter, so don't you worry! (Also it's gonna be rly important for the future of the band)

[poetryvampire]

✨️trop men and if they could get you off based mostly on vibes ✨️

💕Now to level the playing field let's give a simple y/n on if they could get the job done during your first time together and the overall mood of the evening. Mildly nsfw (I'm not gonna get too detailed...unless 👀)

Adar💀 Yes. Woof, not to get too crass right off the bat but daddy is the name he earned so yes absolutely. Also brace yourself it will be kinkier than you think and it will awaken something in you. And it would start off painfully slow just easing you into it lightly. Seems like a great opportunity to try things you've been curious about but beware you're getting into like five kinks that haven't even crossed you mind before. One minute you're having a romantic candle lit dinner then Bam youre wearing a chain collar with his name on it.

Elrond 😇 Oh, god bless. No. Baby I'm sorry but no. That being said it would still be a great time with really positive vibes. But Elrond would get too in his own head thinking about options and the best 'plan of attack' to actually deliver. Plus he would play it super safe not wanting to off put you in anyway and thus would kill the passion a bit. Still would be the biggest sweetheart and over all give you a fun time. (Give him time to build his confidence though lotr Elrond Fucks for sure)

Halbrand 🐶 LISTEN Listen listen...No. Hear me out. I just-I feel it in my blood that this guy will rizz you so hard and talk such a big game and than when he time comes it's just ok at best. Like he's made at least one person come before and thinks he has cracked the code. Still his heart's (seemingly) in the right place and its pretty romantic over all. Lots and lots of cuddling.

Annatar 🐱 Yes. And it's amazing but the vibes are terrible. He gets way too intense too fast. He's the kind of guy to say some really weird shit during. Like not even anything dirty just waxing poetic about how you're part of each now and the bond of your bodies is inescapable even in death. And he waaay into talking about how you belong to him now and you're just like?? Is he just talking crazy in the heat of the moment or ?? Also no aftercare and he's 100% gone when you wake up.

Arondir 🏹 Yes. And it's Good but not as romantic as you were hoping. He's into you but Arondir def doesn't realize what a catch he is and is surprised that you're so here for him. Also buddy's got a lot going on so he's still gonna be pretty guarded emotionally. Still he's extremely respectful and such a good kisser like he's got your head spinning and you've barely started.

Elendil 🗡 No. But he tries hard and it's a great time. He's kinda got that big puppy Halbrand thing going on but like genuine. Def more into you than you are him. Elendil will rizz you with care. Pays very close attention to what you like/want. Even if it doesnt happen he's fine with talking about it, even makes a few light jokes at his expense. He's terribly good at putting you at ease. By the end of the night you're more smitten than you first thought.

Celebrimbor 💍 Yes. Are you kidding me?We're talking mastery, we're talking attentiveness, we're talking about a very smitten old man that's going to court you with his whole heart. The vibes are impeccable and he's going to make it known that taking care of you is his top priority. Additionally I can't explain why but you know this man's head game is god tier.

Gil Galad 🏵 Yes. Don't even get me started on how this man is gonna rock your world. The high king is a big guy so it's go big or go home when it comes to love and affection. He doesn't allow himself to pursue romance often but when he does he goes hard. In terms of the act itself and the amount of extravagance and detail he'd put into wooing you. Plus cmon you know he's stressed and pent up as hell. Brace yourself for being be absolutely worshipped All night. You're in for a wicked case of jelly legs and you're not going anywhere.

[graysturns]

𝕗𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞 | 𝕞.𝕤.

note: hey guys this is my first time posting my actual work and i’m kinda new to tumblr so pls be nice or i will cry ok thanks bye

warnings: idk smut ig

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"babe please hurry up, we're already running late," matt sighs as he shuts the car door.

"i just need to get some shorts or something, i can't show up to your mom's house in these jeans, look at this" i lift the sweater wrapped around my waist, revealing the rip around my inner thigh.

he rolls his eyes and sulks behind me as we make our way inside the old navy in our hometown. i begin to scan the various women's clothing, looking for something basic, because it's too late to go back home and figure out a new outfit.

"will you hurry up and pick one? please, y/n. chris is texting me wondering where we are. they want to start eating without us and he's most definitely gonna eat all the mac and cheese."

i roll my eyes at him. "first of all, never call me by my government name. rude. and second, we just got here, breathe. we wouldn't be here if you hadn't grabbed my ass so harshly when we stopped at the gas station. you caused this by manhandling me, matthew." i shot back.

he sighs again as i grab a few different options in my size and head towards the fitting rooms. upon arrival, we notice there aren't any employees so i pick a stall and wave matt into the small room.

he looks up at me, then around at our surroundings, "are you sure? i don't think they allow multiple people in at once, i'll just wait here."

i roll my eyes again. "matthew! get in here! i need your opinion. this store is basically empty anyways. it's not a big deal, you've seen me naked before. let's not act so innocent."

he follows me in and takes a seat on the bench facing the door. i untie the sweater he lent me and throw it at his face. "rude!" he exclaims sassily, throwing the wad of clothing to the ground.

"uhm, excuse me, you're rude. you're the whole reason we're in this mess." i begin to remove the ripped pair of pants and pull a new one off its hanger.

facing the mirror on the door, i begin to pull the pair of mom jeans on before matt looks up from his phone and stops me.

"baby, i've never seen these panties on you before, are they new?" he smirks at me. i nod, swatting at his hands.

"wait stop, they're super cute, why haven't you shown me?" he looks up at me with those hypnotic blue eyes, brows furrowed.

i turn around, with the jeans still around my ankles and my hands on my hips. "do i need to inform you every time i purchase a new article of clothing, matt? it's just panties."

he wiggles his eyebrows at me, "when they make your ass look like that, then yeah, i must be notified immediately." he places me onto his lap, pulling the jeans all the way off my ankles so i can straddle him.

"baby we're running late, you're the one who keeps insisting, as much as i want to, we don't have time to fool around" i say to him between the open-mouthed kisses he begins to place on my neck.

he starts to take my top off, then gasps. "fuck the mac and cheese! it's a matching set, now i really can't believe you kept this from me." he drools at the sight of the lacy see-through bra, rubbing his thumb over my visible nipple. he yanks down the thin fabric, causing my boobs to spill over. with one arm wrapped around me, clutching my ass, he uses the other to massage my breast, all while kissing my neck. i feel myself starting to give in, biting my lip to stifle a moan. "matt, i-i don't think we can do this here." i slightly protest, but he reaches up to kiss me, and bites my bottom lip.

i'm done for.

he's kissing and grabbing and rubbing all over me and i'm a mess. i can never say no to him, he knows how to manipulate my body to want exactly what he wants. i can feel his bulge through his jeans, and i grind on it slowly, making my clit throb against it.

suddenly, he lifts me and flips me around so im sat on his lap, and we're both facing the mirror. he's unbuckling his belt, then his pants. he wraps one arm around my waist and lifts me slightly while he pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his dick, standing tall and proud.

he makes eye contact with me in the mirror and grabs my face, smushing my cheeks together, and whispers in my ear, "i want you to watch baby, watch how good you can take my whole dick inside of you, pay real close attention."

he smirks at my widened eyes, and moves the panties to one side, rubbing the wetness all around and then on my clit.

"you normally get to scream all you want, but not this time baby, okay? you need to be really really quiet for me, got it?" he covers my mouth.

i nod quickly, and without warning, he picks me up and thrusts his entire length into me. i hold back a scream, and i feel tears falling down my cheeks. no matter how many times, how long we've been together, i'll never be used to his size.

he gives me a second to adjust, and then begins to pound into me over and over again, my back sliding up and down his clothed chest. i'm watching as my breasts bounce up and down and his dick glides in and out, in and out. he uncovers my mouth, keeping one hand on my waist, and starts to rub circles on my clit with the pad of his thumb, making me roll my eyes back further in pleasure.

he begins to nibble on my ear, then moves down to suck the spot right underneath. as he kisses down, i feel him bite down on my shoulder to suppress a moan.

"matthew!" i hiss at the pain, but it feels so good.

"shh!" he pinches my nipple, causing me to let out a whimper.

i grab his wrist, stopping his movement, and smile at him, "my turn." i bend down slightly, still facing the mirror so he has a full view of my ass while i bounce on his dick. he presses down on my back, sliding his hand down to secure a firm grip on my neck. he curses under his breath, trying hard not to make any noise while i'm aggressively riding him. he places both hands on my ass grasping and slapping occasionally, until i sit back up and we're making eye contact in the reflection. he's rubbing on my clit again, using his other hand to massage my left breast and i can feel a knot forming in my abdomen.

i turn around so i'm straddling him, and continue to bounce up and down. he grabs me by my throat and kisses me roughly, before planting a hard slap on my ass. i move faster, and he groans, grasping my ass tighter, leaving hand-shaped bruises for him to stare at later.

"i'm almost there baby. fuck, you're the most beautiful thing i've ever laid my eyes on." he whispers in my ear and i close my eyes, feeling my climax creeping close.

we start moving in sync, until my legs shake, and i feel his dick twitch, then shoot his load into me, causing me to finish as well, leaving me trembling on his lap. i drop my head forward onto his shoulder, desperately trying to catch my breath

he wraps his arms around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. "wow, what we just did was probably super illegal, " i laugh at his comment, but then frown when i realize what we've done.

"fucking hell, matt. we can't buy pants now, i feel too awkward going up to the register after we've been in this fitting room for so long, they probably know what we've been doing!" i cover my face with my hands.

"baby that's alright," he grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. "just put your clothes back on, we'll go back to the car, and you can just borrow some sweats when we get home."

i stare at him, mouth gaping in realization. "are you serious? we could've just done that in the first place! i'm so dumb, why didn't i think of that?"

he stands and helps me put my shirt on, followed by the ripped jeans, "it's alright y/n, i didn't think of it either. let's go home, i'm starving." he smiles at me, rubbing small circles on my back.

"i love you, matt" i look up at him, with red cheeks, wondering how i'm going to leave this dressing room with any dignity.

"i love you. don't worry, i know what you're thinking. just hold my hand and we'll walk back to the car, c'mon." he laces our fingers together and kisses me on the forehead, unlocking the door and stepping out of the changing room.

luckily enough, nobody seemed to even notice us weaving through the aisles and exiting the store. we managed to get back in matt's car without a single interruption, and soon after arriving at his house, where chris had demolished the entire dish of mac and cheese.

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ahh can’t believe i’m posting this but fuck it we ball

to be added to taglist comment here

[vagabond-umlaut]

summer collapsed into fall

summary: gojo satoru has no favourite colour. he feels no need nor interest to have one, either. pairing: gojo satoru x reader [unspecified gender] tags: slight undertones of teacher-student relationship BUT there is NO ACTUAL romance between them; can this be called pining? idk; character study like fic of our sweetest satoru *cries* he deserves sm better; fluff but with a mild serving of angst; wc 0.8k notes: fic title inspired by a quote by oscar wilde; fic inspired by this lovely post i saw on pinterest; jjk isn't mine; loosely related to 'you make my heart flutter and fibrillate'; tumblr hates me using dividers hence the new fic format ^_^

satoru doesn't really have a favourite colour.

it's never quite crossed his mind. and even if it has, he has never seen it to be important enough to allow it be anything more than a passing thought, a meaningless thought---it is not like his life will be impeded should he not have a favourite colour, nor is anyone ever going to ask him what it is, so why bother?

but now, as you peer up at him expectantly, having already listed your top five favourite colours and why you love them so, satoru wishes he did bother back then.

he decides to feign confusion.

"what?"

"what what?" you shoot back, eager gaze not wavering one bit, "i just told you my favourite colours; aren't you gonna tell me yours? it's fine even if you have just one, sensei."

but is it fine if he has none?

throwing his watch a quick glance, he turns back to you. then exhales a quiet sigh, tired but the farthest from annoyed, when he sees you're still waiting for his reply... shutting the bus window beside, he turns to lean against it, shifting to face you properly.

and sighs, decidedly noisier this time, "this isn't the type of questions one asks their teacher, y'know? they are too casual, meant more for a friend than for a teacher."

"you got to be the last guy to lecture me about etiquette, sensei," you retort without missing a beat, huffing a quiet, amused laugh.

"and after the time i had to bring you to ieiri-san after you passed out from drinking a bit too much: i guess we're a bit more than a teacher and a student, aren't we, sensei?"

not really... no.

while satoru believes your first point to be a debatable topic, he does not think the two of you are anything but a teacher and a student, no matter how much help you extended to him or will in the future---it's not like he isn't grateful, though. he is; he really, really is---it's just his belief that few acts of kindness do not necessarily cause a friendship between people, and he intends to tell you this very clearly---

but finds he cannot. he simply cannot.

not when you say, still so eager but with an undercurrent so achingly soft that even the strongest wonders if he can handle its weight: "i'm not that bad a friend, y'know---you can ask others if you want; they'll tell you i'm a good friend, not the best but a decent one---"

"why don't you guess what's my favourite colour?"

rude, yes, horribly so. satoru knows, he knows this very, very well. but what can a man do but divert when he's being unsettled by words like the ones you addressed to him, by the tenor you employed for him---

although now that he observes you consider his suggestion, the man wonders if diversion was the right tactic or not.

he could have just lied and told you any random color. he could have chosen to be honest and told you he has no favourite colour like you and probably the rest of the world have.

but no, he doesn't.

satoru does not opt either of the above two painfully simple, painfully easy options. choosing instead to ask you to guess what his favourite colour is... satoru never really anticipates he'll end up being this much more unsettled, thanks to his decision of diversion:

if there was a subtext of a haunting softness in your manners before, the sorcerer reckons it is the text now, typed out in bold letters then underlined and highlighted in neon---you too shift to face him, even moving the bag kept in between to your lap and shifting a bit closer, but still a respectable distance away---only to punctuate your effort with a keen stare, much too gentle, at him.

it's scary, he thinks. yeah, undoubtedly scary. but somewhere in the back of his mind, something says it's also comforting.

many eyes look at satoru throughout the day. they gape, they gawk, they study the man and every small aspect of his person with many different kinds of reasons behind them. but before today, there has never been anyone who has regarded him with this much care, that too for a nonsensical cause like yours...

he wonders, just what are you seeing in him?

just who are you seeing in him?

"it's orange, isn't it?" you exclaim abruptly, leaning a touch forwards with a snap of your pointer and thumb. voice too loud. smile too big. eyes too bright, way too bright---

satoru takes not even one whole second to decide:

he now has one favourite colour.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I present to you: at no point in the game is Astarion actually ready for a romantic relationship

Tav is the first person he drank from

The first person he has consensual sex with after 200 years

And he says to them: no one is like you. You're YOU

He genuinely believes that Tav is the *only* person who would be this way, even if it isn't true. He does fall in love with you, he does want you, but I present to you the idea that if things hadn't gone down EXACTLY as they had, Astarion NEVER would have initiated a partnership/romantic relationship for YEARS after escaping Cazador for good.

The man is coded for survival, for self-preservation, and is inherently selfish by nature. It is only because Tav gives selflessly and determinedly reinforces wanting to be with him that he caves in and allows it, but if you try to leave he's thrilled. This is for the best he says, you don't deserve this facade from me he says.

"I don't know how to be with someone even if I want to. I want this to be real but I don't know what real is. I need to not have sex right now"

In act 2, if you break up with him, he agrees with you. He thinks it's the right thing for you because hes not ready. He won't say this unless you initiate a break up but how could he possibly let go of the best thing that's happened to him in his entire undead life? He wouldn't toss out the treasure of you even if he didn't feel ready.

It really does take a patient, calm, supportive Tav to get him in the end, and he DOES want you, I'm not arguing that

I'm arguing that that man is not ready for a committed relationship, doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and in an ideal situation if he thought he had time and options in his life and if he felt safe he would have focused 100% on himself first for a VERY long time.

The tadpoles, the adventure, the pressures of the battles, the fighting the revenge the ascension and the ritual he has to fight or succumb to the fact that the sunlight is gonna nerf him again- all of this contributes to the perfect scene where Tav gets him right "out the gate", first by being a mark and a target and then by simply *not breaking it off with him*

And yes he's in love to the best of his ability to know what love is at this point

And yes he wants you very much

But the man is going through the biggest whiplash of his life and I can say with confidence that he's not... *Ready*. And after all is said and done, Tav will have to continue to be patient with many things with him. There are still a lot of hurdles. He may be with them for a long time before he wakes up one day and realizes, really really realizes, that he's ready.

The power dynamics are off, they're imbalanced. How could he say no to a perfect mark that gives him everything ? Blood, sex, waits when sex is off the table, never breaks up with him never leaves no matter how he rails against them? He can't. He won't, and he doesn't want to, but that doesnt make him emotionally ready for what a genuine relationship is.

He has to learn it, with you, over time, but I don't think he'd jump into learning that and going for it and seeing it as worth it if the situation were in any way different

Without the perfect storm of events, I don't see Astarion jumping into "commited relationship" to be clear, I'm not saying that he isn't capable of feelings or doesn't want tav it's just

It doesn't *seem* to match his character or his struggles to me. For a man that is completely self serving, he accidentally catches feels and then doesn't have the strength to cut you loose even though his act 2 confession is practically him asking you to leave him. If you take the Araj route in particular, he VERY plainly lays his shitty behaviour on the table as if daring you to punish him for it... Or maybe just expecting.

In his spontaneous scene it's softer, it's I love you but I don't know how to do this. And still if you say "I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship" he immediately agrees. In act 3, if you've stuck to him the whole time like glue, he never wants to let you go. Again, I think this level of connection is impossibly rare and everything had to happen as it did to get you there, but the power balance is off still. He says partner, equal, and he wants that. And he WILL get there

But he not only has to struggle with his past, his issues, his trauma, he has to struggle with the power imabalance that you're his Savior. YOU defeated Cazador. YOU protected him in camp and didn't stake him on sight. YOU fed him from thinking creatures for the first time. YOU are one of "a very few select people" who have had sex with him and not been slaughtered immediately afterwards.

You're everything to him

And by the end of the game you already see him trying to shift that power imabalance because HE SEES IT. If you say you'll protect him he WINCES and disagrees, he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be below you, but he sees himself that way anyway. And to me, that's the sign that he wasn't ready, he still isn't ready,

But he will be, one day. And I think that makes it a better written romance than thousands I've read, because it's not perfect. There's grey areas. There's things that can make you uncomfortable. There's parts of it that aren't healthy and won't be for a while. Who knows how long until he feels like he's your equal? Until he feels like this relationship is something he ever would have chosen if things were different?

But he does choose you. He does. He wants you. He'd just never have gotten the chance to if it hadn't been "right place right time" imho

[pricegouge]

Uhm your last ask abt fairy reader in price’s humidor and I can’t resist

Price having his fairy warm his cigars for him between her legs

Maybe she can make fairy sparks to light his cigar (gives it the same kinda kick as the honey cause it’s got distilled magic in it). Or maybe he makes her strain to flick his table lighter. Maybe he scares her with it, holding her while threatening to burn the bottoms of her feet while she squirms.

Maybe he switches to cigarillos or hand rolled options sometimes— cause with the right finesse, those can fit in her tiny fairy cunt, her honey soaking into the paper.

And in a world where people milk fairy honey? There’s probably all kinds of tools and substances they sell to get fairies aroused fast, but price has a bit too much pride, likes to do things the slow, old fashioned way.

Nikolai who keeps his fairy leashed because he can’t bear to clip her wings. To much empathy for flying creatures— he cannot rob you of that. Or maybe he’s had her long enough to not worry— she’s fully tamed and trained. She’ll lick the powdered sugar from his fingers if he has a donut for breakfast. Price’s fairy is terrified of Nik’s— will she be like that some day? Acting like she’s in love with her tormentor?? She’s even more scared when Nik offers to train her as a favor.

And she gets this funny feeling in her belly when price laughs and politely declines. Says he likes her just the way she is.

(And if we’re talking hardcore objectification. I imagine Soap’s careless. He’s been through more than one fairy in his day. No big deal— Ghost’ll just find him another. Misfits have a knack for finding them)

I’m going a little crazzzyyy

-🦷

[reference - no longer my most recent ask, i'm slow]

i raise you: price training her how to properly hug his cock by making her work herself over his cigars. i also raise you price training his fairy to spark when he flicks her head as if she's a lighter like a fucking dog.

him dipping cigarillos in her cunt is making me severely unwell. can just see him running out of flavor half way through, patting down his pockets like she's a misplaced lighter just to freshen up his dart even as it's still smoking

okay. not particularly related to what you're talking about, but the jewelry bit added at the end of that fic was def inspired by art i found which i'm unfortunately not gonna link just cause i saw it on a repost site and i'm not sure where to find the original art cause I don't have any social media. but! the artist very clearly had a line in which they depicted fairy girls being turned into jewelry and the main link piece would often be a specialized plug their size attached to a chain which would obv be linked to the actual jewelry. i don't really have anywhere i'm going with this I just thought you should know that.

hm. i can picture nik's fairy having just as much empathy for him straight from the gate. like what do you mean this human knows what the world looks like from above better than he does from his actual (significant) level? she's easy to train because she lets herself be trained, at least a little, but price's fairy doesn't know that!! she's scared as hell to be made into some docile little creature, but price would never allow it. she'll never admit she's grateful for him but she is when he tells nik he can handle it, when he stuffs her into his pocket so she can't quite hear when he says he likes her just the way she is, teeth marks on his finger tips and all

(also also. im not normal about burning so i won't go too crazy BUT. i will say when he's training her to bahave like a lighter, he def holds the heated metal of the guard against her ☹️)

[kittievampire]

There's this text message from Simeon where he doesn't know how to take pictures on his phone. MC offers to help and he says that Lucifer would be impressed to see his pictures if MC taught him what to do.

My headcanon is that Simeon isn't as naive as he seems tho (cuz how you gonna be an angle and be dressed in the most slutty outfit huh). So MC goes to purgatory hall, helps him out, then "helps him out" wink wonk and he uses his 'new' camera skills to take pictures of her. And a couple 'accidentally' make their way to Lucifer.

I think it would be best if the way Simeon acts genuinely makes mc believe that he's innocent so she's not just naive, he's playing her ya know? Fuckboy Simeon? Gaslihhting? Imagine if he said "you know what you're doing". Okey tanks <3

So jealous cause I never got this text from Simeon >:(

Like, does bro not love me too? Wtf?

Anyways,

Lemme see what I have in my bag, dear~

Click here if ya wanna request!

Taking Photos is Hard!

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Feigning Innocence (Gaslighting), Fuckboy! Simeon x Fem! MC, Photo/Video Exhibitionism, Creampie, Mention of Facial, Lucifer is the real victim here

Enjoy.

Simeon wasn't the best with technology, and you knew this.

That's why you were so compliant when he requested your assistance.

"I'm sorry, again, for inconveniencing you, MC." He apologized once more as he stepped aside, allowing you entry to his shared room with Luke. "Luke is out right now. He and Barbatos had planned a baking marathon, and Solomon wanted to tag along as well, so it's just the two of us in here."

You nodded your head in understanding, sitting down on the white sofa. "Ooh, this is comfy," You said with a small smile. "Okay!" You clasped your hands together. "You said you needed help with photos. Do you know how to get to the camera?"

Simeon pulled the device out of his pocket, pinching his brows together as he swiped through the applications. "Yes... I believe so, I've been there once... What does it look like?" He asked, eyes flicking to meet your gaze for a mere moment before looking back down at the screen. "It has a camera icon," You said, gently grasping his arm and tugging at it so he'd sit down beside you on the sofa.

The angel sat himself down beside you, and you peered over his shoulder to look at the D.D.D., pointing at the camera icon. "Right there." He clicked on it, screen immediately presenting a closer look at his crotch area. You could've sworn you saw a tent in his pants, but you quickly shook it off with a blush.

"Okay, so, do you see this huge white circle right here?" Simeon nodded. "That's what you're going to click to take a photo."

The angel stared down at the D.D.D. "Oh, what does this thing do?" He asked, swiping to the video option and pointing at the red circle. "That's to take a video. Go back to the camera."

There was silence for a moment.

"How do I do that?" You let out a small sigh, swiping back to the camera option. "Try taking a photo, I'll be your model!" You joked, leaning back onto the couch. "Ah, okay! Wow, you sure know what you're doing!" Simeon shot up with a smile, holding the D.D.D. in each hand horizontally. You sighed in relief, thankful that he knew how to, at the very least, hold the damn thing when taking a photo. "Tilt your head to the side a little? Put your knees together, and push your arms against yourself, but leave your hands on the sofa!"

"Wow, you're really getting into the modeling thing," You chuckled softly, following directions and adjusting your position as per requested. The camera flashed and Simeon repositioned himself. "Turn over,"

_

After adjusting your position multiple times in this little photoshoot, you found yourself bent over the sofa, skirt at your ankles, and Simeon slowly pulling your panties down to your knees. "S-Simeon, I don't think this is necessary!" The angel frowned, gently running a hand over your ass and caressing your lower back, which made you shudder. "Come now, MC. I'll let you photograph my most intimate areas as well if you be good for me." His voice was so sweet, almost as if he wasn't caressing the nakedness of the lower half of your body.

Simeon pulled his hand away, pushing his white pants down with one hand. "Stay just like that, Dove," He murmured softly, swallowing a lump in his throat as he saw your drooling cunt spew more of your essence onto your panties. A shudder sound was heard and you could see the wall glow a bit as the flash went off. Your breathing hitched as you felt your juices running down your thigh, pussy absolutely soaked in anticipation.

You wanted—

No, you needed him to do something. Anything!

Instead, Simeon stood behind you, snapping photos (mainly close-ups of your sopping cunt), while fisting his weeping hard cock. He then paused for a moment, swiping to the record option and hitting the red dot. "Dove," He moaned out softly, reaching out the hand that was getting himself off to gently run his fingers over your slit. You gasped. "What's this, hm? Why are you so wet?" You shook your head, burying your face into one of the pillows on the sofa. "I didn't know you were so perverted, Dove. You're dripping," He cooed, shifting his position so that he pressed the blunt tip against your entrance, precum oozing down to your clit. "W-Wha—?!"

You felt like the air was punched out of you, letting out a sharp gasp as Simeon slammed his entire cock into you in one go, your walls squeezing his length. You cried out, only for the angel behind you to shove your head into the pillow to silence you. "Shhhhh. MC, your voice is so angelic, but I want to hear what this cute little pussy of yours has to say as well," He said, angling the camera to capture how he thrusted his hips forward, cock slamming into you, earning a squelch from your cunt and a whine from your mouth, one that was muffled into the pillow. "There you go," He moaned out softly, moving his hand down to gently caress your ass.

Your walls clenched tightly around him, eyes rolling back as tears started to gather at your lower lash line. You squeezed the pillow in front of you, body jerking forward in protest to his rough fucking. Your vision was going blurry, and it felt like your brain was melting. All you could think of was Simeon and his huge cock that was fucking you into the sofa.

Simeon grasped one of your legs, lifting it and pushing your knee against the couch. This new angle allowed him to shift closer, thrust deeper into you, slamming into the spot that made you scream. "Quiet, MC," He warned softly, one of his hands moving down to circle your throbbing clit.

The stimulation from the bundle of nerves, as well as from his merciless thrusting, was sending you near the edge. "S-Simeon!" You moaned out, hugging the pillow close to your face. "That's it, Dove, let everyone know who's fucking you so good." His voice was so taunting yet so smooth, a sharp contrast to your shaky and slightly raspy voice.

He felt your walls convulse around him, letting out a gasp at how tight you were. "You're close, aren't you, MC?" Simeon stopped himself from leaning forward to kiss you, as that would screw with the camera angle. He chuckled softly. "You're squeezing me so tight, how naughty."

With a muffled cry of his name, you felt him slam into your sweet spot once more, and your orgasm racked through your body harshly, juices gushing out of your cunt, further lubricating his cock. Simeon started thrusting faster, the tip of his length bullying your cervix as he chased his own high, free hand gripping one of your hips tightly. "Gonna cum in you, Dove—" He groaned— "Take it! Take it all! Take all of my cum like a good girl, MC!" He whimpered out, almost begged before he buried himself deep inside of your cunt, moaning as he came. You could feel him filling you up, a white ring of his cum forming just around his cock as he painted your walls and filled you to the brim. He thrusted a few more times, riding out his high, before slowly pulling out of you.

Simeon zoomed in on your pussy, that was drooling with his cum, before stopping the video and taking a few pictures.

You turned your head to the side so you could breathe, panting heavily as you tried to gather your thoughts and come back to reality. That was, until you felt something poke against your cheek. You glanced over to see Simeon holding his cock up to your face, looking up to see Simeon holding the D.D.D., camera pointed directly at you.

"You didn't think we were done were you?"

_

Lucifer was in his study, stressed out from the stack of papers that still needed to be signed. He decided to take a short break and scroll through his D.D.D., though he wasn't expecting to get a text from Simeon so late into the night.

With a raised brow, the eldest looked at the notification.

Simeon: 3 attachments

"So he finally learned how to send pictures," The Avatar of Pride mumbled to himself, clicking on the notification before catching his breath in his throat. Lucifer nearly choked at what he saw.

The first picture was of your naked body sprawled out on a bed, a lewd expression on your face, and what he assumed was Simeon's cock balls-deep inside of your cunt. The second picture was of your face in front of the same cock, coated in cum with a dazed look on your face. The third was just of your pussy with cum pouring out of it, streaming down your thighs, as if you'd been stuffed completely full.

Lucifer felt his pants get tighter around the crotch, failing to notice the three dots that indicated Simeon typing.

Simeon: Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know that would send to you!

Simeon: How do I save these to my gallery?

Hope you liked this anon!

Masterlist

[eamour]

making the first step.

manifesting, as we know it, means to deal with reality the way you want it. it means to accept things you like and to dismiss things you dislike. manifesting is all about what you choose to be aware of. in this post, i want to highlight the importance of knowing what you want and deciding to manifest your desire.

knowing what you want.

this is gonna sound like a hard pillow to swallow but believe me, been there, done that: just because you can have, be and do everything you want it doesn't mean that you are already having, being and doing these things — eventually, you need to know what you want in life. you need to have an image (not literally) what you want to experience. you need to know what you want for yourself. this goes for pretty much everybody and any desire you want to manifest.

things you don't want.

another important point i want to mention is the issue with making the wrong decision. no worries, you can and you are most definitely allowed to make decisions that turn out to be the wrong ones for you. sometimes, it's even necessary to do so. my point is that the moment you make the wrong choice and realise that this isn't want you want — EVEN if you have consciously manifested it from a state of once wanting it — you still have the right to un-want and to un-manifest it. essentially, doing something you dislike for too long will make you feel like you are rotting from the inside... and you really don't need to endure that.

feelings of being lost.

you cannot yield towards a goal you don't know. you cannot have something you cannot properly label. you cannot arrive with no destination. you can, surely, have an idea of something you want and get it regardless — but if you're uncertain, if you keep wavering between a handful of options and find it hard to make a decision, you will remain as you are. not knowing what you want for yourself, especially long-term, will be reflected to you in one way or another. and admittedly, it can be so tiring to know that you want to enter a new chapter in your life notwithstanding that you don't even know what it's gonna look like.

to decide means to change.

making a decision implies making a change within yourself. it doesn't matter how big or small that decision is going to be, how significant or unimportant the things are that you want for yourself — making a decision means to declare that you want something and that you are willing to move towards it. and since self has to be expressed and there is only self to change, you will reflect those changes once you shift from within.

knowing who you are.

you know that you change once you know WHAT you want to change. however, it doesn't just end there. finally knowing what you want for yourself and being able to see yourself have those wonderful desires of yours also means to understand who YOU are. it means to get to know your inner man and the things he likes. and once you do, once you are aiming for the things you GENUINELY want, you will never experience a day of uncertainty again.

deciding to manifest.

you see how much of a relevance it is to simply decide? so many people don't take their time to go within themselves and to actually get to know their deepest desires. so, what i want you to do is to make up your mind. pretend i'm your mom or your virtual manifestation assistant who tells you do to your chores. i don't really mind if it takes you a lot of time or if it makes you feel uncomfortable. whatever you want, you can have it 100%. and all those feelings of irritation and fear are all just created by you. act as if the outer world doesn't exist for a minute. as if there are no rules in the world that could get between you and your desire.

with love, ella.

[thewardenisonthecase]

About the Lucanis Romance

(this is a long ass post ok so bear with me)

So I've been meaning to adress some of the complaints/criticisms of Lucanis's romance and I was thinking on how to do it and I finally figured it out. While I don't like making comparisons because I think they're somewhat unfair, but this time, I'm gonna do it to show why I have some many complaints about the Lucanis romance.

And I'm gonna compare it to Fenris's romance arc in DA2. The main reason for that is that 1) they're both very troubled man who brood and went through A Lot tm and 2) considering DA2 also doesn't allow you to just talk to the companions whenever and doesn't have a spam kiss button and is a shorter game, it feels the fairest comparison.

'Lack of reactivity when it comes to the flirting dialogue options'

One of the biggest complaints when it comes to Lucanis romance is his lack of reaction to the flirting dialogue lines. I've seen the argument that 'oh but he's awakward, he doesn't know how to react'. I'm not the biggest fan of this because there are ways to better portray a character being bad with flirting than having 0 reaction.

During Switch and Bait, the quest where Fenris is recruited, you can flirt with him. And how does he react? He gives a nervous laugh, because he's not used to do. But that conveys that he listened to the flirt line and is responding to it, even if he doesn't actually say anything. There are other moments where his reaction is looking away, smirking, and a few times he does flirt back.

Even if small, I never felt that Fenris wasn't reacting to what was being said. Meanwhile, Lucanis has a painful moment where Rook tells him "I'm here" and he, with the straightest face ever, responds with "We need to talk about Ilario". And this is not the only time where it feels like there was no response to the flirting, its just the most egregious of them.

So, while I can understand what people mean by the fact that he's awkward, there are better ways to portray this. It's important to remember that this is a video game, which is an interactive media, and on top of that, it's an RPG. The player HAS to feel like what they're doing matters, because if it doesn't, it's easiert to just read a book.

'Not enough romance scenes'

I think this is a criticism that has been misunderstood by many people. Romance scenes do not mean just sex. I'm asexual, the sex scenes are the thing that least matter to me. Like, Fenris only has 1 sex scenes and it's a fade to black where he immediatly dumps Hawke after, so clearly, sex is not what I care about.

What does matter are scenes that establish a connection between the two character.

And while Lucanis has them, and I think they're great (the coffee scene and the almost kiss one are the highlights for me), due to the way these scenes are spread out, it feels like there's something missing.

DA2 also doesn't have a shitton of romance scenes, and considering the fact that Fenris breaks up with Hawke halfway through, its understandable. But the difference is that DA2 is a much shorter game than Veilguard, or, at the very least, Act 2 of DA2 is waaaay more concise than Act 2 of Veilguard, which is where most of the romance is happening.

That means that, even if there aren't that many romance scenes, they are better splayed out, so you don't feel like you're missing stuff. Another thing that I think happens is that you can really dive in and just ask the companion a lot of things.

Take Fenris's Questioning Beliefs quest in Act 2, which is a really important scene for the romance. Much like veilguard, its a scene that doesn't begin as a romance one but if you have been picking the flirting options, it can turn into Fenris and Hawke discussing about being intimate in the future. And in this scene, Fenris confesses to not having been with anyone in long, and doesn't remember if he actually ever has been with anyone.

This can be made so much longer by the fact that Hawke can ask multiple follow up questions from there, and that helps in both creating a connection between the two and also establishing the romance. Even if they don't do anything then, Fenris will say 'another time'.

And this happens in the act 3 version of Questioning Beliefs, which has the culmination of Fenris's and Hawke's romance, where their relationship is rekindled. And I think they do what Veilguard should have done: they let the player adress Fenris leaving Hawke.

One thing that bothered me, and that other people have brought up is that after Lucanis's runs away from the almost kiss, it's never adressed again. And I think if they could have had a moment where Rook and Lucanis talk about this, it could have been great to understand Lucanis and his history with relationships, how he feels internally about what's going on with them, heck maybe even apologize. Just something to feel that that wasn't a random scene, that was something important that happened.

Also, because you can interrogate Fenris so much in those scenes, the feeling that he was yearning for Hawke but all his trauma was stopping him felt more natural/real/explicit. I remember getting to the endgame portion of Veilguard and Lucanis pulling out the 'when i wanted to be with you but was scared' and thinking this is a lovely sentiment but why it hasn't been shown before? Because yes, the almost kiss is a good way to establish this, but if it had been actually delved in, that feeling could have been made more explicit.

I also wanted to add that, while the gift giving in DA2 is nowhere near the mechanic it was in DAO, it still helped with establishing that connection, and it gave even more chances for characters to flirt, and if DATV had used this opportunity, it could have helped a lot, instead of just having the character go "for me? thanks"

'Banter'

I'm gonna adress two issues here at once. The first is Neve.

Out of the gate, hating on Neve just because she flirts with Lucanis and gets with him if you don't romance either of them is weird, and at the very least, sexist.

So, what I want to talk about is that if you're romancing either of them, for some reason, their flirting banters still trigger and that can be uncomfortable. It sure is weird to be romancing a character and have them still flirt with another, because it comes across as 'oh maybe the choice to romance them doesn't change much' which isn't good for an RPG.

DA2 also has a couple that flirts through banter and gets together if Hawke doesn't romance them, and those are Isabela and Fenris. The difference is that, if you romance either of them, those flirty lines of banter do not trigger. At all. So much so I had no idea they got together because I've only romanced Fenris so far in DA2, so i never even knew of these banters until I looked at the wiki.

So, truly, lucanis and neve getting together is fine (i think neve should have been with bellara but that's another story) but these flirting line should not trigger if either of them are being romanced by Rook.

Still on the topic of banter, maybe I was unlucky and didn't get it to trigger often, but I felt as if, even though everyone was living together, the fact that Rook and Lucanis were in a relationship was not really ever addressed by anyone else? Like, I know these banters exist because I've seen them online, but I feel like there were just too little of them?

In comparison, the DA2 characters have a LOT to say about Hawke's choice of partner (and again, I'm focusing on Fenris here). Merrill adresses the romance through banter ('you make sad puppy eyes whenever Hawke looks away'), Varric, Isabela and Anders have specific scenes where they talk to Hawke about Fenris and give their opinions on the two of them together. Heck, in Aveline's quest where she gets with Donnic, she can briefly mention the two of them. And these all of them also have banter in which they adress the romance.

And its this sort of thing that really helps filling in the gaps of the romance scenes but also showing that these characters know what is happening. And the DA2 gang doesn't even live together!

And for Lucanis in specific, if there always was going to be less scenes with him due to how he is a person, having a few scenes where the other companions talk to Rook about it would have helped bridge that gap, in my opnion. Again, considering you can't directly talk to this characters (as in, click on them and start a dialogue), this would have been a nice touch.

And now a very personal complait of mine

'Kisses and the Commit to Romance scene'

While I stated at the very begging that I don't care about sex scenes, that is another story when it comes to kissing scenes, and I'm sorry, but it's WILD to put the ONLY kissing scene in the romance AT THE ENDGAME PORTION OF THE GAME.

Give it or take, kissing is an intimate act and it can be used, in my opinion, to show that a character is comfortable with that sort of physical touch. And for a character like Lucanis, who is just so troubled, maybe one kiss before the grand finale would have been really fucking welcomed. In fact, I know the scene they could have added that - the one in the café after Ilario is taken down.

It could have been a short, sweet kiss, that was just a follow up to the almost kiss scene. Just something to hammer in more that these characters are together.

Because let me tell you, it is not a good sign when people say they thought the game was bugged after the dessert scene.

That scene, while lovely on its own, does a bad job of making it clear that yeah, these characters are dating now, and that's due to the fact that that is not something really said out loud.

I'm rewatching this scene as I type this out and at no point, is it made clear through dialogue that Rook and Lucanis are agreeing to being together. In fact, Lucanis says that what he's doing is not enough, and Rook disagreed with the sentiment and says they're easily bribed. That's it.

Meanwhile, in DA2, not only in act 2, do Fenris and Hawke lowkey make plans about being intimate at a later date, and Fenris explicitly says he wants Hawke, but in act 3, he once again makes it clear that he wants to be with Hawke, and I feel like this only really happens with Lucanis at the endgame portion of the game.

This is all to say that: The Lucanis romance is lacking, and that Bioware has done something like this before and they did a better job then than now.

[indigodiskmybeloved]

Defending Penny from Pokemon

No, Penny isn't a terrorist who's malicious and some kind of evil genius who is on the same manipulation level of Ghetsis.

This isn't an attack on the person who made the post, it's more of a counter argument. Don't harass others, and be respectful.

"Penny is a terrorist group/started on by making Team Star!!"

Penny first made Team Star as a way to combat the bullies who were well, bullying her. I am a victim of bullying myself, and Penny had more guts to stand up than I ever did.

However, it went too far, with the Team Star captains driving the bullies away. Penny REALIZED she fucked up. She realized that and told the Team Star captains that they need to stop because of how they damaged their reputation. And when that didn't work, Penny asked the MC to take down the bosses so the bullies couldn't leave in fear like she did, and the Team Star captains won't be expelled. Penny KNEW she messed up, and WANTED TO FIX IT.

If Penny was like "Oh the bullies are gone! Yay! Now let's take over the school!" Then I can understand your reaction. But she didn't act like that. She wanted to fix things.

"She really only started Team Star just so she could have a friend group of misfits like her!"

Wow, who would've thought that a group of kids who can relate to the issues of being bullied would join a team to bond together?

Seriously, human connection is a thing. Like, Penny could relate to the other outcasts in school. All of the Team Star captains were bullied, and that was something she could relate to. Like "Oh, you've been bullied! Same here!"

It wasn't just "GRRR WHY IS NO ONE MY FRIEND I AM GOING TO BECOME A TERRORIST AND MAKE THESE PEOPLE MY FRIENDS" because that's what Penny is like apparently.

Context clues and media literacy is important.

"Penny is a criminal because she hacked into the League and Deservers jail time!"

Okay, out of all the takes, this is one that I can agree on.

I do agree that Penny deserves SOME kind of pushback for hacking into the League Point system and stealing from them. However, she is still a child, albeit teenager, and should at least get something inbetween of slap on the wrist and jail time.

There are options between nothing and going nuclear. Chill.

Though, on that topic, Penny isn't gonna be like "LET'S HACK INTO THE GOVERNMENT FOR FUNSIES" because she knows that's a bad idea. The only reason she hacked into the League Point system was to give the MC LP for taking down Team Star bosses. She wasn't doing it out of malicious intent.

And she even STATED that she herself should get more of an extreme punishment. This is more a fault of the game for letting her get away rather than Penny herself saying she should get away with this.

In short, you're allowed to hate a character. But exaggerating what they did without showing the context of it all, it just makes you look bad.

If you find the original post, please don't harass them. That isn't okay.

[arimiadev]

recommendations of visual novels on sale for the steam winter sale 2024

steam's winter sale just started and will run for the next two weeks, so if you're looking for a new visual novel to try (or want to get into them), here's a lot that I've played that are on sale on steam.

umineko when they cry

the ushiromiya family returns to the family head's home on an isolated island for their annual conference with the intention of settling how his vast amount of wealth is divided. instead, though, a letter is left from someone claiming to be a "witch". with the ushiromiyas dropping dead left and right, the mystery behind everything remains to be solved by you, the reader.

I can't make a recommendation list without mentioning umineko. it's life changing. it might even trans your gender. it's hard to describe umineko, but just know that it's absolutely deserving of the "cult classic" tag.

notes:

kinetic/linear - no choices

VERY long, 120+ hours (over all 8 episodes)

divided into two games on steam - Questions Arcs is the first 4 episodes and Answers Arcs is the last 4 episodes (8 episodes in total, play Questions Arcs first)

created by Ryukishi07, creator of Higurashi

fantasy vs mystery

ace attorney

follow phoenix wright as he embarks on his career as a lawyer to help people. meet a variety of clients and prove their innocence by collecting evidence, interviewing witnesses, and exposing lies in court.

ace attorney is a classic mystery visual novels, being a blend of point-and-click elements via investigations and visual novel storytelling. the steam port is a massive collection, combining the first 3 games (the original phoenix wright trilogy) as 1 game.

notes:

investigative gameplay segments, a good chunk of the story is point-and-click parts

pretty long for the whole trilogy- each game is around 20 hours long and the steam edition is 3 games

modern mystery with supernatural elements

ai: the somnium files

play as detective kaname date as he hunts down a serial killer using a cutting-edge technology which allows him to "psync" with a person, diving into the memories of others to solve crimes in a limited amount of time with the help of his AI assistant/eyeball Aiba.

aitsf is a lot. it's probably the raunchiest non-eroge game I've ever played and despite my low tolerance for dirty jokes I found most of it to be laughable and a fun experience, though I did play this with friends. if it's a miss for you, it's gonna miss you by a wide margin, but if it's a hit for you, you're going to be recommending it nonstop. either way you'll want to hit kaname date with a car.

notes:

long, around 25-35 hours

this game heavily relies on going back to prior choices via their branching menu to try other options in order to get the full story (and true ending). there are several endings to this game but you're meant to play through them all, not just one or two.

a lot of gameplay and interactive segments

sci-fi mystery

english voice acting

witch on the holy night

aoko aozaki is a highschooler who has to balance her class president, perfect grades life with her secret afterschool life of being a mage—a secret she has to keep at the risk of death. keeping this balance already isn’t easy but one day she gets a wrench thrown into it with the introduction of a transfer student, soujuurou shizuki, a country boy so out of touch that he’s never seen electricity before.

I love witch on the holy night so, so much. it's one of the most beautifully directed visual novels ever made with so much love and care put into each frame. the cast is wonderful (touko my beloved) and it's a must-read for anyone who likes modern-ish fantasy.

notes:

kinetic / linear - no choices

long, around 25-30 hours

originally written by kinoko nasu, one of the co-founders of type-moon and creators of fate/stay night. has some relation to tsukihime and garden of sinners but you don't need any knowledge of those going in

modern-ish (1980s) fantasy with lots of talking about magic

ghostpia

a snowy town filled with "ghosts" is where the young woman sayako finds herself trapped, feeling like she doesn't belong and wants to leave this town where no one dies.

it's hard to describe ghostpia. it's a surreal-ish story about "ghosts" where every character is quirkier than the last but every part is made with so much heart behind it. you never really know where the story is going, but unfortunately only 1 season is currently out on steam.

notes:

medium length, around 10 hours

very innovative and unique use of visuals and paneling

surreal-ish (sometimes violent) fantasy

please be happy

as a shapeshifting fox called a "gumiho", miho has traveled the world in search for a traveler who showed her kindness many years ago. afraid of sticking around in one place for too long, miho has never stayed anywhere for more than a few nights- but all of that changes when she arrives in wellington, new zealand and meets the barista/writer aspen and the vampire archivist juliet.

okay I did work on this one but hear me out. please be happy was a labor of love for our team that took over 3 years to make and is a slice of life story about love, trust, and what it means to be human. and you get to play as a gay fox girl voiced by dottovu.

notes:

medium to long, about 20 hours

2 romanceable ladies, aspen and juliet, and a plethora of side characters to meet via a map system

modern slice-of-life fantasy

english voice acting

WE KNOW THE DEVIL

find yourself back at summer camp with all the queer religious horror of it.

WE KNOW THE DEVIL is a short, atmospheric and slightly surreal story about 3 teens at a religious summer camp waiting for the devil. if you want something that feels familiar and otherworldly at the same time, this is right up your alley.

notes:

very short, about 2 hours

3 endings and 1 true ending

isolation, psychological horror

fate/stay night

seven mages known as masters summon heroic and fictional characters from the pantheon of history to fight it out over the ultimate magical item - the holy grail.

fate/stay night is one of the most well-known visual novel properties out there and it's finally not only available in english officially but on steam! this remaster is a treat and done with a lot of care put into it, it's a great way to get into the fateverse if you've never tried it before.

notes:

pretty long, 70+ hours

3 routes / heroines to be with with lots of bad endings

modern fantasy, battle royale

mamiya

the end of the world is near. what will you do in the final months? and who is this "MAMIYA" who proclaims their love for you?

MAMIYA is a dark mystery visual novel about a group of guys who meet during the funeral for a friend, a stranger, a passerby, and become entangled in the web of an entity known as "MAMIYA". the presentation and style feels fresh.

notes:

check out the content warnings before reading

medium length, but is segmented into a lot of chapters that make it easy to pick back up

dark modern mystery with supernatural elements

a date with death

the grim reaper contacts you saying he wants your soul. naturally, you respond...with flirting??

a date with death is a free game but it does have paid DLC so I'm including it here because I want to. it's a comfy chatsim romance visual novel about, well, courting the grim reaper.

notes:

short, around 8 hours for the base game

customizable protag

1 male love interest

cute modern supernatural romance

twofold

Olive has 1 last chance to graduate college - pass a filler class. when their situation comes to light, 2 club presidents agree to help them but end up dragging them in the middle of their feud...

I also worked on this one. the writing and art is truly charming and heartfelt. it's a story about romance but also relationships in general - friendships, platonic relationships, familial bonds, etc. this visual novel took several years to be completed and the final result is one made with a lot of love.

notes:

medium, around 15-20+ hours for both routes

nonbinary protagonist, 2 female love interests

modern slice-of-life, college setting

english voice acting

slay the princess

you're tasked with a simple goal - slay the princess, or else she'll destroy the world.

talk about taking a simple premise and running with it. slay the princess is a mind-bending psychological horror about love and repeating things a lot of times. after all, all you have to do is slay the princess, right?

notes:

short to medium, around 10 hours for a full run

lots and lots and lots of branching paths

psychological horror, does contain gore

english voice acting

canvas menagerie

Niko is a trans man and lifelong actor who's been down on his luck until he gets the lead role in a major TV show. there, he starts to fall for his annoying celebrity costar.

well I wrote and drew and programmed this one by myself so I can't really give an indepth recommendation for it but I think it came out pretty nice. it's a comfy gay romance about actors.

notes:

medium length, around 10-12 hours

boys love romance

modern slice-of-life, adult cast

------------

note that all of the indie visual novels listed are also available on itchio as DRM-free versions. there's a ton of VNs on sale over there right now as well.

[ispelexists]

SHADOW MILK COOKIE AND 'THEATRUM MUNDI'

"The world's a stage, and the actors are playing their roles in it"

The idea of Theatrum Mundi dumbed down. It's a simple concept, that concludes that the life itself is a show, being directed by some supernatural force like for example god etc.

(If I'm wrong correct me, I'm not that much into literature and this kind of stuff)

This idea caused me to write down a few prompts for you pookies <3

🎭

The thing is, is that you have so many options with this, like... AHHH

English isn't my first language, I apologize for any confusion I might've caused by these

Here's some ideas/prompts for you guys:

💙 1. 💙

🎭) AU where Shadow Milk's corruption begun not because of the overwhelming power he had, but because he, as the 'Virtue of Knowledge' knew everyone's script after looking at them, and being distraught by that fact, or the fact that almost every Common Folks life ended with a tragedy, a murder (by the hands of the beasts, but he doesn't know that) which terrifies him.

He, being the only one who knew about it, would try to figure out what this tragedy was, or to change the fate, not knowing the cause of it, was himself and those he considered him the closest.

🎭) In the end he got so focused on that task, he didn't see his own slow fall, and when he noticed it in his comrades, it was to late. The only thing he could do was to accept his end, and join the other Beasts in wrecking chaos, and ending the whole ACT.

🎭 (In this AU, he can only see the key moments in everyone's life, like for example marriage, death, and other important things, he can't see everyday life of anyone)

🎭 (Also the only one's he doesn't know his script, that's why he doesn't know he would fall to corruption, you can say that he also can't see other Beasts since they're equal in power, but I think it works either way)

💙 2. 💙

🎭) A concept where Shadow Milk Cookie, freshly after his corruption, goes around either in a physical form or hidden withing the shadows, observing random cookies life, and having a great time laughing at the absurdity of the fact he can basically knows what's gonna happen next.

🎭) For example seeing a cookie buy something at the store, and him being able to predict they would trip in a moment, which they do. After observing, he would start to act out, to see if his actions can change the events that would happen next (Example: Making person A fall on someone else's garden, and the other cookie getting angry at them, which would change not only Cookies A script, but also Cookie's B) (basically 'Butterfly Effect')

🎭) This prompt would allow to explore how he might've acted freshly after becoming fully corrupted. Reason being I think, he wouldn't jump straight into seeking chaos, but testing the waters to see how far he can go before anyone (witches) try to stop him

🎭) (As an Ex 'Virtue of Knowledge' in this AU he knows every detail of everyone's scrip/life)

💙 3. 💙

🎭) This one is a prompt for an 'x Reader', 'x Canon' or 'x OC'. Basically Shadow Milk Cookie after he got released from the tree (of right after he got corrupted) and meets Insert/Name and Gingerbrave gang.

🎭)Here it could go 2 different ways (or more, but I just don't feel like writing them all):

a) He knew of I/N because of being able to see through Pure Vanilla's staff and falling for them in that way, but after seeing that I/N either has no love interest planned in the whole thing, or has some else, he's getting angry

(if you're doing pre-corruption Shadow Milk, then he can get just sad, and attempting to change the fate by simply spending more time with I/N, but after it hasn't worked, he just watches from the sidelines, as their beloved live in their fairytale, and get their happy ending with someone else (ANGSTSSS YESS))

anyways, coming back to Corrupted Shadow Milk Cookie. He would attempt changing the fate in more drastic way, and getting really pissed that it won't change no matter what. Feel free to interpret it as you will.

b) Also after getting free from that tree, while he knew of I/N from Pure Vanilla, after meeting them, he learns that in their story HE is their love interest, and being like 'Omg, my star, where have you been all my life 😩' or something idk, be creative lmao.

🎭

The art without the text 😘

[scarletwinterxx]

I'm in love with all your charm - lee seokmin imagine

it's so so so so fluffy and cute i srsly cannotttttt (also DOKYEOM WTF U ARE SO HANDSOME) i just saw his video doing the first pitch, wearing the cap and I JUST HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING

hope you like it!

if anyone want to be mutuals on X, i'm using the same un there😊

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)

He wasn't supposed to find out, you were doing a great job at hiding it or so you think. The first time it happened, Seokmin just thought he might have forgotten his cap at home or his car when he came to pick you up. By the time the two of you arrived at the mall, it was long gone. He only noticed when he saw himself in the mirror, he asked you but you just shrugged your shoulders.

The next time it happened, he just finished at the gym then went to your place for dinner. He swore he remember wearing it when he got here but on his way out, the cap was again long gone. You then went on a mini nagging session. Lecturing him about losing is stuff so he just shushed you with a kiss before bidding goodnight.

It kept on happening to the point that he was left with only 1 cap in his wardrobe. Then on one faithful day, he stayed over at yours and was on his way to meet with Mingyu when he saw a cap he sure was missing weeks ago.

Without thinking much about it, he took it and put it on his head before walking to the main room to see you on your phone while your plate of food was waiting in front of you

"Hey, ipad kid I'm gonna go now" he teases you, walking over you to give you a loving kiss on the head

"I was just checking something" you mumble, looking up at your boyfriend. The first thing you notice was the cap he's wearing, second was how good he looked while wearing it.

The very exact reason why you've been hiding his caps for the past weeks.

"Where did you get that?" you raise your eyebrow at him

"Huh?"

"The cap"

"Oh yea, remember when I told you I thought I lost it. It was just here all along. Anyways I'm going now, Mingyu's waiting for me" he kisses you again but you hold him back by the arm

"Hold on hold on, you're not going out like that"

Seokmin blinks back at you confused, "Is there something on my face?"

Instead of answering, you just reached out for his cap and fluffing his hair before throwing the cap somewhere in the other room

"There, now you can go"

"Uh... what?"

"What?" you ask back

"Wait... did you... are you the one hiding all my caps?" he ask, putting his hands on his hips like a mom about to lecture their kid

"Can't prove anything" you shrug your shoulders, acting nonchalant about it.

He looks at you for a few seconds before he put his hands on your side making you squeal and scooch away from him

"Where are my other caps?" he chase you around your living room, your laughter resonating

"I'm not gonna tell you!"

When he finally catches you, he just holds you in his arms. Your height difference making him peer down at you, "If you tickle me I swear, I will knee you where the sun don't shine" you tell him

"Why are you hiding my caps, baby?"

"Because you look so handsome when you wear them, you're not allowed to wear them when you're not with me" you tell him, gently poking him on the chest

This makes Seokmin chuckle, picking you up and twirl you around "You're cute" you hear him say before putting you down on the ground again

"Fine, I'm not going to wear it. Will you return all of them to me now?"

You shake your head, standing up on your tiptoes to give him a kiss then you push him towards the door,

"Let me think about it, now go. Mingyu's waiting. Have fun!"

[fridgrave2-0]

We share so many headcanons for Felix and Turbo that it's actually so exciting to see someone who shares a perspective very similar to mine on their characters! I feel like Turbo while dating Felix was less grumpy and sad as a lot of people interpret him :[ like he's not a perfect person ever and he has a million flaws but he also lived as king candy for a while. He's gonna be a little silly, I think. In fact, I think he'd only get that way (mostly) bc of Felix. Like Felix saw this mentally ill guy and went, "I can make him WORSE!" And then justified it to everyone as "I don't know what happened he just went insane!" for almost 30 years. I'd bet half my money that he even coined the term "going Turbo"

YES, EXACTLY, THIS!!!!

let the guy feel happy and silly in a company of someone who's "safe". turbo cannot allow to change others' perception of him by acting out of the line (aka his constant "I'm the best" bravado), but with felix he can relax a little and have a moment of peace when he doesn't have to put on a façade so much. but in the end, the only time he didn't wear a mask was when he was all alone after roadblasters, and being apart from felix was exactly what set him free

felix can't understand anyone else's problems until he goes through something similar and it gets shoved in his face, and even tho he liked turbo a lot back in the day, he was ignorant to things what were troubling turbo. his need of attention and appreciation wasn't normal, and there's only two options: felix supported it to the point when it got out of control, or he was dismissing turbo's concerns and frustrations. I don't see turbo as someone who understands his own emotions, and felix isn't a guy who would help him and guide him into healthier ways of seeking attention because felix himself is just immature and doesn't look outside of his bubble. if he feels good and happy and that his life is fulfilled, that means everyone else like turbo or ralph or else feel that way too. "you have your game, you are a main character, you earn your rewards. what else do you need?" felix would say, genuinely not understanding how neglectful he is. and turbo, disdained by everyone but felix, cannot explain why it's so important, or give a sign how damaging it is to his self-perception and self-esteem. turbo is already shaped into someone who keeps everything to himself, and seeing that felix doesn't want and won't understand him just makes every negative emotion and every concern accumulate in him, rot and poison him until it's too late

I'm sure turbo seeked for an advise when roadblasters were plugged in, but, as always, he was treated with "you're worrying too much. it's gonna be fine. just calm down. no one is trying to take your place". the same exact place by felix's side turbo doesn't feel he belongs to anymore. the same place for which he stepped over himself to open up, made a crack in a safe shell and was met with ignorance. is this what he tried to bent himself for, to be a different person for someone who just isn't willing to understand? to expose his back to others who are waiting for him to fall?

turbo felt rejected. he was rejected. by players and by the person he trusted most. and then he lost control, let the emotions boil out. and then the games were unplugged, his rivals and his home. he felt the invisible strings tearing up, ripping pieces of him out and living a hole that cannot be filled anymore. his connection to his game, his code, his life and soul

he crawled back to the one he also called home, damaged by another crash, the damage that won't heal anymore, because his game was gone. he crawled to felix, hiding from everyone's sight, scared of seeing nothing but "we knew it would happen" in their eyes. he didn't want to prove their expectations to be right. but when he noticed felix through the cracks in the tunnels under gcs, this was exactly what he saw

"he was so jealous. he was crazy... i should've seen it coming", felix said with a glimpse of regret on his face, too small to show the loss he should've feel. instead, there was it. the disappointment — and nothing else for the long ten years of hiding. his name turned into a common noun, a scary story, a legend he never wanted to be. but still, thanks to felix and his fantasies, his inability too see further than his exes' fake façade, turbo did actually become

a legend