#DOES THIS HELP? I SOUND INSANE
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fear-o-phobia · 15 hours ago
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talk of eddie “blowing up his life” to move to texas is umm. well i don’t think that’s very fair. because his thinking is linear and logical and supported with the repeated evidence that he has been given! he cannot connect with his son through this distance despite threesix/sixthree months of trying. he is actively being blocked from doing so. his son is his greatest joy in life. he is missing out on christopher growing up and he doesn’t want to miss any more. he isn’t spinning out, he isn’t blowing up his life, he thought about what he wanted and what he needed and he drew a conclusion based on the information and options available to him and what multiple people had told him to pursue and he decided that he needed to move to texas to be near chris. because THAT is what is going to bring him joy. i think people (general, broad, etc) misassign buck’s core identity of “firefighter for station 118” to eddie, when eddie likes his job and is good at his job but his son will always be his number one priority. like does it feel drastic? yes! but it is a decision made with care, clarity, and consideration, not impulsivity or a lack of understanding himself
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izel-scribbles · 3 months ago
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just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude
#im so fucking isnane about this podcast#ok notable reactions:#john.. Oh my god. It’s so insane to go back and hear how much he’s changed in the way he talks and reasons and treats arthur#i love you john doe malevolent#fav trans allegory ever!!!!!#definitely relate to him a normal amount (liar voice)#and then. S2. I really need to make that animatic with lonesome dreams#godddd i forgot how painful the ep18 divorce was#and then!!!! the canna mentions helping noel escape!!! completely forgot about that part#s3. oh my god. absolute fav season. soooo many crazy moments.#like coda??? “You want him back.” “I want him safe.” You want him baaack.” “I want him back”#KAYNE I FUCKING HATE THAT RAT BASTARD.NEED TO BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A ROCK BUT HES A FREAK AND HED ENJOY IT SO I CANT#piece od shit#and then 23/24??????? arthur’s happy cry-laugh???? dead#part 25. “I killed myself. For a voice in my head. Do you know how mad that sounds?” what if IIII killed myself#26. god. Then 27. And 28. Literally my fav season ever#followed closely by s4#ohhhh my god i forgot how hot the butcher is like genuinely#i completely forgot prelude somehow???? giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair the whole time#i need to be this homicidal gay irishman hes so hot oh my god#the 29 divorce. with the movie lmaoo#i need to draw them going on a night out and seeing a movie and getting dinner and drinks and dancing and (gets shot)#gooddddd i remember listening to 31 for the first time and being so fucking confused#PART 33. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS. OH MY GOD. BELLA SALTZMAN I COULD’VE TREATED YOU SO MUCH BETTER#34….. i can’t speak about 34 without barking and howling like a rabid dog#dog. Is that a butcher refere(gets shot for the third time)#NOELLLLLL MY DARLING WIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#this has just inspired me to keep writing hofth with ella tbh#lowkey don’t even get the obsession with oscar tho i can’t be talking#to each their own or whatever
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nanihirunkits · 3 months ago
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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bird-surveillance-machine · 6 months ago
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breadboylovin · 3 months ago
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i have to manifest this image in my mind every time i think about going on the hivemind subreddit because i know ill get on there and see something stupid that makes me mad
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pwurrz · 6 days ago
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you know what sounds incredibly troublesome?? concocting a medicine that repels earthworms, digging up the roots of whatever plant they’re currently feeding on and spraying the soil where those plants used to be with the aforementioned medicine. god knows how many of these plants need to be dug up. could be hundreds of them.
and you know what quincy, local hater of all things troublesome decides to do anyways?? help yakumo with such a troublesome task. he 100% didn’t have to, by the way. he could’ve just told yakumo what to do, he’s good at following instructions, but no. quincy decided that not only was he going to make the medicine after buying the ingredients from the market, but also go all the way to yakumo’s village and help dig up each of the plants and put the medicine in the holes left behind.
i.. was right. i was so right. quincy would do anything for yakumo, no matter how troublesome. he’ll sigh and mumble all the while, sure, but if he really didn’t want to do it, he just wouldn’t. we know quincy. if anyone else were to ask for his help with such a tedious task he would 100% just explain to them how to do and be on his way. but not yakumo.
yakumo asks quincy to do something, and he does it, no matter how troublesome. yakumo asks quincy a question, and he takes it seriously, no matter how difficult it may be to explain. honestly, if yakumo said jump, quincy would most likely ask ‘how high’ because he of all people knows it’s pretty much impossible to say no to the serpent’s sweet face ♡
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in the interest of Not Talking About The Real World tonight, have a very funny snippet from echoseers while im editing tonight
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transcript in alt <3
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toytulini · 2 months ago
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man the thing about beauty standards and being ugly and being pretty and being insecure is that ultimately you do just kinda have to Decide that youre pretty. like ultimately thats how you become pretty, or hot, or sexy. you have to just Decide that you Are. you have to recognize that its made up, its arbitrary, its subjective, and that people might disagree with you about it, and as much as you are able, you need to completely and utterly disregard their opinions on your appearance, and decide that youre pretty now. and THEN.
you need to find beauty in "ugly". you need to recognize that ugly is made up, that its arbitrary, that its subjective, and you need to be able to find the beauty in it all. and this means you cant bodyshame people. you cant body shame shitty celebs or politicians. you need to base your criticisms on the substance of their character and misdeeds and unhinged horrific opinions and not give a shit about what they look like. you cant go calling people ugly for being shitty. you cant go calling people ugly for looking A Way You Dont Like.
and then if you wanna really galaxy brain this shit you start using ugly as endearment. OBVIOUSLY do not fucking call other human beings ugly. that shit is far too loaded, its just Rude. Dont call specific features of people or even characters ugly cos thats also too loaded. as a term it has baggage. but you can see the ugly in tacky, loud, garish clothing, and it can be Good. you can see the ugly in a distinctive, horrible tiny car from the 90s, and it can be good. you can see the ugly in animals that have evolved to look the way they do, without a single thought of what humans find appealing. you can see the beauty and the freedom in "Ugliness". you can break out of this shit altogether and feel nothing but disdain for anyone who stoops to insulting your appearance if they disagree with you about shit. you can get completely out of the cave of these beauty standards. you can find it so freeing to revel.in letting yourself be ugly. in recognizing that the way you look and exist might be ugly to some people, and youre out of the cave enough to simply recognize. thats just your opinion and it doesnt matter. didnt ask.
you can look at ppl arguing about the correct amount of skincare products to use daily, the Correct Amount of makeup, and whether or not its radical to conform to beauty standards or defy them and argue about is it really conforming if visible makeup pisses men off, and you can say, well I dont care about any of that, I recognize the societal pressures of flawless skin and all that but you see,
I just want to look like a silly little clown :o3
#toy txt post#i wasnt gonna end this on that silly note. but then i had to#ugly#pretty#beauty standards#not saying its easy. not saying you have to do this#but like if youre tired of feeling insecure about your face your fashion. you gotta just figure out what you like and lean in#and you gotra recognize this shit is made up and subjective and arbitrary and you shouldnt be doing it for anyone else ever#i used to be insecure about a few features of mine that i feared made me Ugly. and then i Decided to try to find it pretty.#it sounds so stupid and made up but like literally i just. Decided. im pretty now. this is pretty. this shit is made up. why am i listening#to you. you dont know shit. im pretty now. AND THEN i decided. actually. im ugly on purpose now but not in a way that has much to do with#my actual appearance so much as my complete disregard for your opinion on my appearance. you gotta do it for you. you gotta dress for#yourself#ANYWAY#before anyone comes in with how beauty standards are often externally enforced via peer and social pressure:#yea bud im a human being on planet earth. im aware. thats why i said: as much as you are able. i recognize i have a number of privileges in#this regard that not everyone does. the way im given more space and freedom to dress like a little freak as a thin white person etc#but like i still had and have societal pressure to shave my legs and underarms to conform. theres societal and peer pressure to wear makeup#and i just. dont. the legs thing is less noticeable tho ill admit cos i also Hate Shorts but thats a whole complicated can of worms#which also involves i am not exposing myself to ticks like that are u insane#anyway. yea. the other magical thing about this philosophy of mine is that you also just dont have to. like you can just Ignore Me.#you can keep doing what youre doing and thats fine too#but genuinely if you struggle with insecurity about appearance you gotta just. this is the fake it til u make it shit#i decided im pretty now and it got easier to take selfies bc i was pretty then#doing art and exploring different faces for ocs and making them look different from the conventional beauty standards. also helped#and like dont get me wrong theres still shit im vain about appearance wise that doesnt matter. i still like to style my hair before i leave#the house etc. im still looking in the cave sometimes#but perhaps one day i will be as blissfully uncaring about ppls perception of me as a fuckin goby#anyway. anyway anyway anyway#if you do this things get so much easier. but you dont have to. i have no power over you
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boxwinebaddie · 6 months ago
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oh my god so i just saw this picture of froy guitterez with a bearded dragon and i fear i am going to have to give clyde a bearded dragon. i'm not sure how he got her, ( prolly by doing something extremely impulsive, dumb and unhinged ), but he snuck her into him and tolkien's dorm room and was like "okay! so don't get mad BUT--"
...he was Mad, btw. but rm!tolkien doesn't scream because he is a dignified british king ( the only one i respect ) and just speaks at a slightly louder volume and does things with his eyebrows like "Why. Do. You. Have. A. LIZARD. Clyde?" and he's like "okay, first of all, she's not JUST a lizard; she's a Bearded Dragon and her name is-" idk what her name is it's probably something insane like glizzy or salamanda or mary guana, i want to start crying, oh my god. clyde loves reptiles.
and tolkien is like "right...so does 'glizzy' have a cage? food?...water?" and clyde is just staring at him blankly like, "damn. i didn't think about that." KHSSDLKSDH HELP so they go to a lil pet store, i think they figure out a clever way to keep her warm and make her a strange makeshift enclosure. tldr, she gets all set up...except they have to Hide her ( also prolly in some elaborate way ) bc they're not supposed to have pets in the dorms and at first, tolkien was so Anti-Glizzy, like he made clyde put up lost lizard ads online/stuff on craigslist...
...buUUUUt accidentally got attached to her and secretly took the all listings down. anyways, happy pride month ft. rm!tyde co-parenting a lizard daughter together. the world is a beautiful place, in fact. <3
#nina speaks#sorry this made me laugh#too much#homoerotic activities smh#just two guys being dudes being lizard girl dads#i love rm clyde and rm tolkien theyre so funny#also clydes dinosaur hyperfixation was going off#he is just...the most distracted ever#not alert that king#tolkien was like go put that thing back where it came from rn#but im sure clyde cried so he was like#siiigh OKAY#the way i bet u in the begining tolkien was like oh my god#what a Foul and ODIOUS creature#and now she is his special lady ok she hangs out with him while he does art projects and when clyde is saying weird stuff#hes like *looks at glizzy* i kno darling it does sound like bullocks doesnt it KDHSDLSHDKDH GO TEAM GO#also idk what her name is i just wanted to laugh#it has to be insane i know clyde named her something weird#also its so funny to me in a weird way rm!tyde is like slightly ravesey coded in a diff font their double dates are iconic#we love the hottest baddest man in the universe#and his cute pathetic boyfriend w/ the pretty eyes#music to my ears lmaooo tolkien and jerseykyle everyday watching clyde and ravenstan interact like#oh god what are we doing what have we done#it is like taking ur boyfriend to the dog park help#also i know that ravenstan was like WOWZA SHES SO CUTE#and jersey was like aLRIGHT BOYS SHOWS OVER#STAN WERE NOT GETTING A CRAZY LIZARD THING#STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS DONOVAN U SHIDIOT#15 min loop of jerseykyle about to strangle rm!clyde#its ok he grew on jk like mold smh he is...fond of him
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antipathy-arsonist · 8 months ago
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"WILL WOOD IS A MUSICIAN??... i thought he was just insane" - my brother
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lotuseatingstone · 1 year ago
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ive made a grave discovery thats gonna do irreparable damage to my person. i will not suffer alone.
was looking at some of zenos' character models and first of all why he so bandaged up lmao all he did was nearly decapitate himself.
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but then
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hello?????????????? HE WEARS FLIP FLOPS???????
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ichorblossoms · 5 months ago
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yarrow's fun bc he's a doctor bc he wants to help people but then you peel that back a little and the reason he wants to help people is bc he would want others to do the same for him, then you peel that back and realize it's in parts a manifestation of his inability to ask for help in outright as well as feeling like he has to be "worthy" of receiving "good things" (re: outsources his self worth on how much he can help others). so he doesn't ask for the things he wants/wants to see in the world, and instead gives and gives hoping that people will see what he's doing and be inspired to do the same, but he's doesn't communicate this to anyone so he's left perpetually feeling like he's giving more than he receives and that doesn't become an arrogant sort of "i'm better than anyone else" but instead warps into a "i must not be doing enough" that starts the cycle over again. and he's at least semi-aware of this and how it's probably slowly destroying him as well, but doesn't know any other way to be so he just. continues.
guy who asks via actions and not words except nobody knows that so he's constantly left wanting for more. i don't have a conclusion for this i just wanted to talk about them
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itspileofgoodthings · 6 months ago
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tags continued from prev post.
#and all of this is true while it is ALSO true that her songs age incredibly well#even debut or random soundtrack songs or endgame#whatever song people try to put on the worst Taylor songs list NEVER QUITE BELONGS#it doesn’t feel right. and to some extent occasionally in mercurial flashes I feel the same about her BEST songwriting list#I can never rank anything of hers ever because she can write better than she has written#if anything finds her own songwriting dead it’s what her future self will be able to achieve#and I think sometimes even the public can SENSE this about her and it’s part of why people are sooooo hard on her in a brutal way#and in a way they never are with other artists. who have reached the limits of their potential#Taylor has not reached the limits —that’s the simple way of saying it#in some way she is still figuring out the artist she is going to be#and I really do think that it is going to be absolutely astonishing#because in some ways (this is going to sound crazy) she is still distracted by her success and her tour#she’s NOT but I mean. the canon hasn’t been fully set free#there are still somehow things holding her back#and we’ve watched her outstrip so much of those early confines that fame and the business of the music industry strapped around her#we’ve seen her say ‘that doesn’t apply to me’#but actually she’s going to and she needs to and I believe she WILL continue to move into rarefied air#my mom helped me give me the final piece of this feeling (and it’s just a deep gut intuition/brain chemical thing for me)#when she said one day almost in mild exasperation: maybe one day Taylor will grow into a Dolly Parton#and something CLICKED#in my brain. and I don’t agree with my mom in terms of her non-interest in Taylor (as much as it has pained me to do so)#I think she’s worth loving and paying attention to now#but that gap that exists between people who love her and people who don’t (full time haters internet trolls do not interact)#I think it’s going to close with time as her work stretches out and out and grows and changes#like I think by the end of her career we are going to have something so astonishing#and to loop it back for a second to a previous thought. I think that’s why sometimes a taylor song can sound disjointed to me. because it#will hit the Depths of the Depth for a second. it will transcend and then it will go back to merely being an excellent pop song#those flashes are everywhere in her work but I think she is going to work and hone them into being conductors of light in a more steady way#the older she gets. does this sound INSANE. idk sometimes I think it does and then sometimes I think it DOESNt. so who knows. but yeah#it’s hard to say because I know it will read as more critical of Taylor than I mean it to be. when really I mean it with so much awe
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sweetpondduckling · 7 months ago
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I'm so sorry but I genuinely thought this was a shitpost
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years ago
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There’s this one workplace safety video that someone posted a clip from on here a while ago of a coworker saying something like “I’m going to kill you, hurt you, or harm you in some way 😐” and it haunts my subconscious but I can NEVER find it when I go searching. does anyone know what the hell im talking about.
anyway jamiazu doodle
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gonersgoners · 2 years ago
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i’m just going to quickly dissect the moments that made me so normal about the scene with sanji and zoro in episode 1057:
- they decided to focus on zoro getting hit because he got distracted picking up the transponder snail. this just before he tells sanji to not bother him. but as soon as he hears what he has to say, he gasps. he’s shocked. it’s like his synapses just stop for a moment. and his reaction to the request “you must kill me”  is to burst back, full force, and shout. which reflects how he feels about the request i think
- this is actually such an intense response that sanji has to call him back to reality right after
- zoro’s delivery of the line “you better not die till then” is not shouted as it appears to be in manga, but a lot softer yet still determined. which i think changes the tone of the scene and overall makes it a lot more intimate
- as someone probably already pointed out, what sanji says at the end of the scene is not your typical “thanks” as it was subbed, but in japanese that specific expressions means “sorry to burden you”. which reflects sanji’s personality a lot and his awareness that he’s not asking just anything out of zoro
- finally the parallel transition showing both of them with their back towards the viewer, hinting at the fact that they’re both looking at the future ahead of them and how they both know they will be facing it all together no matter what happens
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