#DOES THIS HELP? I SOUND INSANE
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we all have a little solas inside of us btw...
#solas#he supplies the blood to our brains#can i offer you some encouragement to take care of yourself in these trying times?#get some cardio exercise in or something to help keep the tiny solas inside you healthy#yes yes this does sound insane but it's like. you know. .grab that toothbrush dattebayo
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last thing i’m saying before i go touch grass but one thing that’s bothering me is how we are pretty much all on the same page about this on tumblr but we don’t have the reach anymore here. no one is listening beyond us here. the influence is on twitter & tik tok and that is where the problem is. tumblr has always been where the most organized and most intelligent larries resided before this app’s decline. i was only on twitter before i deleted my account but we got our news from all the tumblr masterposts, especially during babyhell and that’s how we fought. was everyone in larrydom always on the same page during the golden age? no. but it was damn sure more than what it is now. but there is hope and i think that’s why i’m speaking so much. the tiny community i’m seeing here and the accounts working to preserve our history is why i decided to return here instead of twitter. after liam, i didn’t know how to react. with everything being said about him i didn’t even know what to think so i lurked slightly. then zouis’ reunion happened and it felt like hope. it felt like healing, and it felt like a call to embrace this fandom full on again and catch up on the 10 years ive missed. when i did i was SHOCKED by the state of harry’s fandom in particular. which is what i said here. they are not representative of him at all like they are so mean spirited and it is so disheartening and i feel the new larries are terrified bcos of how they act.
like i do really feel in my gut the objective is to brainwash the new larries on twitter. it’s why zara & louis already had a ship account made within hours of the pics of their “date” being reported by the scum. the older larries are overreacting which obviously when you’re new you want to follow them. i also feel there’s some plants/ai accounts active on there to make veterans feel annoyed/disappointed with the new larries and want to gatekeep knowledge or leave.
i think while hell is hot on twitter we need to focus on rebuilding ourselves here so it’s a place larries and especially the skeptics can feel welcome. i do think some twitter users lurk here but don’t know where to navigate and may not necessarily feel welcome. i want larries to feel welcome. there are so many beautiful minds and souls in this fandom and i want some fucking change to happen. this mess today needs to stop. it terrifies me knowing louis and harry are seeing this and possibly feel disappointed and that’s parasocial as hell and i’m rambling now but yeah. something needs to change. we need to stop the cycle.
#i sound so insane#but sigh ://#i definitely want my blog to be a safe place for chaos and fun and coke rants if need be#any shy larries my inbox/dms is definitely open!#we need to remember why we are here#for the boys and also to help each other like??#larry brought my gf to me#so many beautiful stories over the years from how they brought so much friends and love between people#we need to get back to that again#a fandom does not always have to agree but we have to be a fist when it comes to the industry that wants to gaslight us#we have to be a fist in order to create change#we have to fight for ourselves but not in the way they expect#what’s going on
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#gary miller#faith the game#faith the unholy trinity#faith game#PLEASE GOD HELP ME IM TRYING FOR GCB ACHIEVEMENT AND IM ON RUN 30#THE ONLY THING POWERING ME THROUGH IS 80S POP MUSIC AND IM GOING INSANE THINKING OF GARY DANCING TO THEM AS HE DOES HIS VILLIANOUS SHIT#i think im losing it maybe also ive been starting to just hear random sound effects when im not playing so yay#anyways enjoy
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Ian Fleming's recipe for Scrambled Eggs James Bond, btw:
*SCRAMBLED EGGS 'JAMES BOND.' For four individualists: 12 fresh eggs Salt and pepper 5-6 oz. of fresh butter Break the eggs into a bowl. Beat thoroughly with a fork and season well. In a small copper (or heavy-bottomed saucepan) melt four oz. of the butter. When melted, pour in the eggs and cook over a very low heat, whisking continuously with a small egg whisk. While the eggs are slightly more moist than you would wish for eating, remove pan from heat, add rest of butter and continue whisking for half a minute, adding the while finely chopped chives or fine herbs. Serve on hot buttered toast in individual copper dishes (for appearance only) with pink champagne (Taittainger) and low music.
(from "007 in New York")
#okay the fact that it's eggs for four makes it. slightly less insane...? that's still 3 eggs per person tho#there's a character in this short story named Solange#she apparently works at Abercrombie's#...this man really fuckin loves eggs. and toast#also it's funny cuz it's presented in the short story as an egg dish Bond once told them to make him at some restaurant LMAO#(apparently Felix knew the head waiter and. ig that's why they did that for him? lmao)#...wait a fucking minute 5-6oz of butter is. a whole stick and then some#(sry to be USamerican abt this- yes my butter comes in sticks) wait four. oz of butter. that's a whole stick#you start with an entire stick of butter..... I mean okay 12 eggs in that ig. and then you. melt more.....#these eggs sound insane tbh I'm not. convinced by this.......#I've done scrambled eggs where you add a splash of milk but. does the butter... help?#lmao did a quick image search and tbh. and okay maybe these ppl r bad at cooking. but most of these look bizarre and grainy...#tho tbh a lot of these look too dry and I think drier than the recipe intends for#but. man lmao............ so much fckn butter.......
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i have to manifest this image in my mind every time i think about going on the hivemind subreddit because i know ill get on there and see something stupid that makes me mad
#text#hivemind tv#does it work? no. am i helping anything by complaining about it? no. still posting this tho#i need to go back to being obsessed with 80s movies that no one talks about to avoid this#ok sorry this was actually a youtube comment but it made me lose my mind. someone said 'hivemind are so mean to their guests now#i could barely even watch the teezo touchdown vid :-('#fair point about the new video id say. but even then them all sounding like they hated each other made the video funnier imo#but saying that about the TEEZO video? the video with their friend of 3 years teezo touchdown where they were all having the time of their#lives? that video????????????????????#almost all of their guest videos this year have been bangers honestly like they clicked extremely well w chloe ro and teezo#and the video with eric might be like top 5 hivemind videos ever#insane take. sorry to make you read my rant but how does someone even think that. are we watching the same channel.
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so i should be studying for exams right now but. BUT I NEEEEED SOMEONE TO BACK ME UP ON THIS
in ancient history we're learning about the persian war and you CANNOT tell me there wasn't something going on between eurybiades and themistocles
there is actually so much hinting towards this i cant:
themistocles is athenian and eurybiades is spartan, and these two city-states have always been at odds with each other due to their clashing ideologies and previous spats.
on top of that, eurybiades was made head of navy even though it should've been themistocles due to there being more trust in sparta. the athenians dont retaliate but there definitely wouldve been some hostility
LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THERED BE TENSION BETWEEN THE TWO FOR THIS?? THEY WOULD SO MAKE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE COMMENTS AND BANTER AND IRSVKSB "Athenian." An imperceptible look of disdain was hidden behind a carefully neutral, war-hardened face. "Always meddling in places where you don't belong." "Yes, well," came the reply, honeyed tone betrayed by cold, calculating eyes filled with menace. "I would say you're benefitting just fine from my meddling, Commander."
at artemisium they were the leaders of the fleet and would've had to be in close contact with each other. AND themistocles bribes eurybiades into engaging the persians. BRIBES HIM.
at salamis when congress decides to advance to the isthmus themistocles is displeased AND SO HE REQUESTS A MEETING WITH EURYBIADES AND THREATENS TO TAKE THE ATHENIAN SHIPS AND LEAVE IF HE DOESNT STAY?? its giving break up scene i cant lie
and eurybiades LISTENS TO HIM. he recalls congress and they decide to stay at salamis this time, leading to the first real victory for the greeks, a major turning point in the war
after this themistocles becomes a really reputable figure and is especially honoured by the spartans. SPARTANS. I AM CERTAIN EURYBIADES HAD A PART IN THIS HE DEF GLAZED HIM SECRETLY
ARGHHHHHH I LITERALLY CANT FOCUS IN CLASS ANYMORE BC WHENEVER THESE TWO ARE BROUGHT UP - AND THEY ARE ACTUALLY RELEVANT ENOUGH TO BE BROUGHT UP - I START TWEAKING
they are the singular reason ill be passing my exam i only remember what happens at salamis because of them
and yes i tricked you into learning like half of the persian war
#ancient history#persian war#athens#spartan#themistocles#studying#eurybiades#salamis#artemisium#ancient greece#does this count as revision#send help#delusional#idc theyre canon to me#shipping#god i realised how insane i sound#but seriously though#they have my heart#technically this is#old men yaoi#but with athenian generals#i may be cooked#just slightly#please please please let somebody see the vision#my sanity depends on it#exampreparation#themistocles x eurybiades#also known as#eurystocles
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ive made a grave discovery thats gonna do irreparable damage to my person. i will not suffer alone.
was looking at some of zenos' character models and first of all why he so bandaged up lmao all he did was nearly decapitate himself.


but then

hello?????????????? HE WEARS FLIP FLOPS???????

#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#zenos galvus#ffxiv zenos#stormblood spoilers#HELP ME IM GONNA FUCKING DIE WHAT#WHY WHY DOES HE WEAR FLIP FLOPS#WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES HE EVEN OWN THOSE#IM GOING INSANE THEYRE GONNA HAVE TO LOCK ME UP AGAINN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#just the sound of flip flops echoing through the imperial and ala mhigan palace is nuts#stop looking at my hotbar#as a floridian i know what this man sounds like running at you. im gonna cry
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the kaiser tags on the garter toss post reminded me of this older guy at my old college who was the president of my org (i was secretary). org meetings usually ended late so i would sometimes just walk home and he would walk with me and say its just bc he needs the exercise anyway (we were staying in the same neighborhood), and he used to do this thing where he would hold my nape and like guide me. he would say its bc im too clumsy and i was just like "oh ok i guess this is fine bc he says its fine??" bc i was like 16-18, but in retrospect that was weird right?? (i cant describe it but i feel like a lot of my male upperclassmen acted like, soft bllk guys core to me but i think it was just bc i was a very stereotypical "young shy freshmen who obediently follows orders and is too innocent to realize the dangers of the world".) anyway i think i realized that even tho i never had a crush on him i think he may have awoken smth in me bc a lot of his behaviors towards me sounds like the kind of stuff i get hot and bothered over fictional men doing 2 me now.
ohmygod wait that is so hot OHMYGOD??? yeah sorry i am like 70% sure he was flirting with you HELP HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS W ME I LOVE THIS SM U HAVE NO IDEA you were living ur y/n reader life fr HAHA (playful)
#oh so this DOES happen irl. i thought i was just being insane about fictional charas#you sound sooo cute anon ily i am also the same dw (aka i am a clumsy girl)#AWAKENED SMTH IN YOU HELP MOOD THO . LIKE sometimes smth happens and ur just like oh! HAHA HELP#I GENUINELY LOVED SO MUCH THAT U SHARED THIS W ME I LOVED READING THIS#message in a bottle: ask#message in a bottle: anon
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tags continued from prev post.
#and all of this is true while it is ALSO true that her songs age incredibly well#even debut or random soundtrack songs or endgame#whatever song people try to put on the worst Taylor songs list NEVER QUITE BELONGS#it doesn’t feel right. and to some extent occasionally in mercurial flashes I feel the same about her BEST songwriting list#I can never rank anything of hers ever because she can write better than she has written#if anything finds her own songwriting dead it’s what her future self will be able to achieve#and I think sometimes even the public can SENSE this about her and it’s part of why people are sooooo hard on her in a brutal way#and in a way they never are with other artists. who have reached the limits of their potential#Taylor has not reached the limits —that’s the simple way of saying it#in some way she is still figuring out the artist she is going to be#and I really do think that it is going to be absolutely astonishing#because in some ways (this is going to sound crazy) she is still distracted by her success and her tour#she’s NOT but I mean. the canon hasn’t been fully set free#there are still somehow things holding her back#and we’ve watched her outstrip so much of those early confines that fame and the business of the music industry strapped around her#we’ve seen her say ‘that doesn’t apply to me’#but actually she’s going to and she needs to and I believe she WILL continue to move into rarefied air#my mom helped me give me the final piece of this feeling (and it’s just a deep gut intuition/brain chemical thing for me)#when she said one day almost in mild exasperation: maybe one day Taylor will grow into a Dolly Parton#and something CLICKED#in my brain. and I don’t agree with my mom in terms of her non-interest in Taylor (as much as it has pained me to do so)#I think she’s worth loving and paying attention to now#but that gap that exists between people who love her and people who don’t (full time haters internet trolls do not interact)#I think it’s going to close with time as her work stretches out and out and grows and changes#like I think by the end of her career we are going to have something so astonishing#and to loop it back for a second to a previous thought. I think that’s why sometimes a taylor song can sound disjointed to me. because it#will hit the Depths of the Depth for a second. it will transcend and then it will go back to merely being an excellent pop song#those flashes are everywhere in her work but I think she is going to work and hone them into being conductors of light in a more steady way#the older she gets. does this sound INSANE. idk sometimes I think it does and then sometimes I think it DOESNt. so who knows. but yeah#it’s hard to say because I know it will read as more critical of Taylor than I mean it to be. when really I mean it with so much awe
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I'm so sorry but I genuinely thought this was a shitpost
#i dont know what this is about but it sound insane#and the mention of 'research' makes it sound like theyre studying people who have never had boyfriends#i dont even know man#tumblr#shitpost#does anyone know what this means. help#tumblr stuff#tumblr ads#they're crazy sometimes
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if i say getocoded



#franz wright when i fucking catch you………#poem is called dedication btw <3333 my favorite ever#this is specifically cult leader geto coded btw !!#”although i never write; secretly i long to die with you; does that count?” (sound of glass exploding)#SIGH.#the enormous mouth that waits beyond youth…… and i will meet you there again ….. it is easier this time; i promise ………#i am already waiting in your personal heaven; here is my hand; i will help you across……. i would gladly die with you still.#yeahhh. u get it.#i think he yearns for you so deeply that it almost turns into worship#during those ten years of no contact#i think he dreams about convincing you to join him. i think he develops a savior complex for You specifically#he wants to be your salvation.#i also don’t think cult leader geto can love normally. all he knows is burning <33#all he knows is that he’ll kill for you and that he’d die for you. with you. that maybe selfishly he wants you both to die.#he’s soooo sick & twisted but there’s a tenderness to it. his yearning is tender his burning is tender.#he thinks about you late at night when he can’t sleep and wonders if you’d accept his love even though it’s bent#he tells you that he’d die with you and it sounds like a psalm.#etcetcetc#ari going insane over cult leader geto part 8278383#😔😔😔😔 i miss him chat#ari noises ✩#poetry ✩
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-_______-
#ngl ive been needing to put this somewhere but like#please explain to me how youre supposed to control what pokemon somebody likes#every time i look at sables pokemon tastes n theyre similar to my ex's im just like Ok. like what am i supposed to do about that help#but my ex was like youre giving MY pokemon to THEM meaning YOU hate ME#me when theres literally multiple of the same type of pokemon. what do you want me to do#mind you i gave them furfrou. because it looks like their sona. and they got soooooo up in arms about that for no fucking reason#and god forbid they just happen to also like decidueye. oh my god#like does any of what im describing and have been describing on this blog sound normal or healthy to any of you. be forreal#i recognize my hypocrisy about the fox thing but even still theyre both different. like maybe if he rped as a furfrou and like#talked about furfrou literally all the time help#its different when youve made smth your identity. brother it was just a pokemon you liked and you forgot it existed half the time#its not like i gave them skitty? like im so over it help#looking back on everything n realizing how unhealthy and insane most of my relationships were w these people bruh#im just glad that anxiety and worry he was constantly inflicting upon me is gone#cus i can tell you rn i dont miss any of it#angelo is literally like the vacation ive been needing jesus chriiiist
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the thing about my writing is that you can tell i started as a poet, which sounds like a good thing in theory but in practice is annoying as shit
#writing#writing problems#does it sound beautiful on occasion? yes#do i have to go in and remove like half of it bc it's just metaphors and philosophizing? also yes#it sounds cumbersome. it's cumbersome and it doesn't Flow and it is driving me insane at this very moment#poetry is very different from prose#and in short form fiction you can Sort of get away with it#but i'm also writing long form for the first time in ages and oh my god why is this so fucking difficult#the action beats are in a completely different place#help#it sounds wrong it all sounds wronggggg#writer problems#writer things
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thinking abt (1) that post abt how most censorship is preemptive self-censorship¹ (2) bras²
⸻ ¹ wow, tumblr search actually worked for once??? ² i do understand and respect that for many people bras serve an actual structural function wrt support/comfort! however, for many other people (hi!) they do not, at least in everyday non-sports contexts, and that's the set of concerns i'm speaking to here.
#i mean for me personally it's also like. sometimes/often/always i don't want to have visible tits‚ for Gender Reasons#so rendering them more compressed & visually ignorable is a move in the right direction#but that's sort of seasonal (which sounds insane‚ but‚ idk‚ in the summer the visible body hair helps balance out the visible tits???)#so it's like. objectively very obvious that i ought to go braless more in the summer#when it would bother me less visually and dramatically increase my comfort levels#and i do‚ in the house! but like. when i go out i still feel the need to render myself Presentable and i'm mad about it#bc like. yeah it's partially a trans desire to hide my chest but like. is that actually separable from the way women are socialized#to manage their breasts to HOA-approved standard or else open themselves up to a whole gamut of inappropriate treatment. (no.)#and so it's really just like. reimposing many different shades of cisheteropatriarchy on myself simultaneously#but unfortunately the only way out is to just. accept all the bad reactions i'm living in fear of. but those DO feel bad!#as always it's like. hard when yr self-protective conditioning isn't serving you wrt being a free person#but IS a rational reaction to the hobbled reality of yr actual existence…#like. easy to say 'just ignore those worries.' and maybe i will‚ at least in the context of like. casual public appearances#but like. even if the material consequences are unlikely‚ for me‚ to be more than unpleasantly judgmental stares—#that's still a real emotional consequence that has an impact on my well-being! but so does the self-censorship.#anyway. too many tags & no novel insight. just like. sux lol#(also usually on here i omit any discussion of Tit Management Issues bc it's my space where i get to pretend not to have a body)#(but like. that's self-censorship of a kind too.)#embodiment (is violence)
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pls do matthew for the character list thingy <3
favorite thing about them : everything. i know this is a cop out answer but i spent five plus years and a whole lotta writing dedicated to his psychology, how he moves, how he thinks ... even if i had an utmost favorite thing i have brainwashed myself into loving everything about him equally </3 tis my curse.
least favorite thing about them : listen mat's a deeply flawed character who is difficult and grating and stuck up, yet i don't actually dislike these qualities about him haha. most of the things i dislike or can't stand when it comes to his character is more so his fanon interpretation and some of his intense fans. though i guess if i knew him personally and i wasn't passively observing his behaviors, i wouldn't be fond of his hypocrite streak. mat thrives on this falsified golden boy image ; one where he's a firm neutral party, he's kind, he's above pettiness, he's selfless, etc. and in doing so he has a habit of putting down others for behaving in 'bad' ways ... nikita and joey are good examples of this! but in reality he's actually one of the most petty, selfish, and biased people throughout the entire show. letting roi die for him, secretly voting in jc out of personal bias even though everyone's saying he's super helpful, getting mad at nikita in ep7 despite showing worse behavior in ep9, so on so forth. this guy is completely blind to his own cruelty! so that's what'd i say for least favorite thing. like i love this trait about him, it's extremely fun to write and think about, though if i had to deal with this irl i'd ghost him in a heartbeat. love you mat!
favorite line : god he has too many to count. there's so many lines of his that has changed my life forever, i can never think of delightful or clowns or animal cruelty the same ... for biased reasons i'd say “slightly better luck to manny!” or something like, “pretty poorly, actually.” since i adore how he delivers it. in actuality i'm probably gonna say “i am more than comfortable putting loads of meat in my mouth.” because how could i not? he changed lives that day. i'm not gonna include non funny lines in this because otherwise i'd go on a sixty page ramble about him and we're not here for that so. ha ha funny lines will do.
brOTP : hmmm this is simple of me but rosanna and matthew obviously. he just loves her so much! i don't need to talk in detail about why this is my brotp since it's literally everyone's, though i'll also throw in that roi/mat is a very good very funny brotp. pair up the guy who's reckless and is constantly on death's door with this other guy who fears death and abandonment and you got one heck of a bro team! shout out to my corrupted!mat talking to roi drawing way back when because those two have great vibes. anyway!
OTP : well i wouldn't be me if i didn't say matny! that was the first ship i ever had when it came to etn, and is certainly the one i've spent the most time with. there's something about the two of them that just clicks, in my opinion, and i'm a sucker for mat ( who's a chronic blamer ) seeing manny after his death and just leaping out of his seat to hug him despite everything. his fondness for the record producer prevails even in times where mat's at his most petty and vindictive self! after the fight in ep7, he still chooses to go off with manny in ep8 and is protective of him. after the mean comments in ep9 ( to which manny said the worst of it ) mat still casually bestows the guy with his favoritism. there's something endlessly sweet about it, because mat can be unloyal and demeaning even to who he loves most, yet this complete stranger who's killed him, sided against him, called him useless, and more never gets the worst of what mat can and has dished out. i always laugh a bit at fanfics where the writers have mat say manny should've died during the ep7 argument because i'm just like. trust me, if he wanted to say that, he would've. but i digress! matny just seems like it brings out the best in matthew, and it helps that manny is extremely physical in nature -- a love language mat adores and slots into nicely. besides matny, though, some of my other big ships for our detective include joeypat and matkita to no one's surprise. i just can't imagine post s3 unless it includes him developing really intense, codependent, romantic feelings for his fellow survivors.
nOTP : i'm gonna be so honest, i think i can be sold on any detective ship out there? while i was a notoriously picky shipper back in the day, i've come around and learned i kinda love exploring mat's romantic relationships with anybody. he's got a lotta love to give and considering how excessively needy he is, his likelihood of developing feelings is high! so i don't have anything for him here alas -- but if i had to choose a ship i don't think about much, it'd be mat/teala ... i think i like them in a more platonic sense!
random headcanon : he has bpd and is the most chaotic bisexual imaginable. also his sunglasses are actually prescription glasses, like he does need them to see but he wanted to look cool too, so ... ta-da, the famous yellow aviators! this is why he never takes them off. though come s4 they're gone because he broke them during a violent grieving episode. something he regrets but pretends he's happier without and now wears muted colors to look more mature and new, i guess. he doesn't think the detective persona should be seen by anyone who isn't the everlock gang and views the detective as an entirely different person now. kinda a punching bag for his grief, his failures, and a figure he's desperately trying to get back. phew! that was a lot of random hcs oops my bad.
unpopular opinion : he sucks! seriously though, i don't know what's popular or not but all of my detective opinions veered on the unpopular side back in the day so. everything i guess? i do not think mat's a good guy naturally, in fact i believe being good is an uphill battle that comes harder to him than most people. people who act like he's holier than thou are people i don't commonly agree with. he's got more issues than half the cast and if you took away the mantles he wears ( detective, guardian angel, agent ) then you'd be left with someone you don't recognize at all. and that someone is kinda a piece of shit! btw i say this lovingly mat is literally my favorite character so this is not hate <3 thanks
song i associate with them : everything i wanted by billie eilish makes me scream cry throw up when it comes to post s4 mat and his grief and how in the most fucked up way possible his ideal world is going back to everlock with everyone that was lost that night. on a lighter note must be nice by will jay is literally his jealousy personified in music form and is him @ jc. give both a listen sometime w/ mat in mind it'll change your life!
favorite picture of them : too many to count ( again ) so have these two pics because they're up there for sure!


#abandoned carnival rides - ( s3 )#to my esteemed guests - ( answered asks )#THANKS FOR THIS !!!! im like oh no my fave was sent in time to go all out sadly#this is everywhere because i'm in the middle of shit and shouldn't be answering this but i couldn't help myself#so sorry for errors and how insane i sound at every turn!#the things the detective does to mfs ... tragic and sad
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imagining outfit ideas i saved on pinterest on some guy from a band i enjoy is weirdly such a helpful way for me to be more confident and try the outfit
#this sounds soooo insane but i will think#oooh i like this outfit idea i found on pinterest now i am gonna imagine#joey nsync wearing this outfit and oughhh ok ok i like it even more now#and it's insane too considering i KNOW most of these outfits will not be actually caught#being worn on any of these guys but still it's weirdly helpful#to make me even me less shy to try it out in the future#i'm just some transmasc loser trying to live out my imaginary wardrobe if i wasn't a coward ok#also yeah imagining band guys in these outfits does also kind of help my gender#sometimes i do worry that i feel like i am fake or that i am not a real transmasc non binary person#but then i realize that shouldn't fucking matter and that i should be happy with how i want to present myself#and that those who love me will respect my identity no matter what and see me how i want to be#but anyways but also just imagining joe fababoi in a cool outfit idea i found on pinterest#makes me giggle and lowkey gender envy even though it's fucking made up in my mind with what he is actually wearing lmao#and that me getting literal envy from an imaginary outfit idea on a band guy then maybe i do actually like the outfit and should just try i#bluebell talks
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