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dollystuartwrites · 6 months ago

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Stray Gods - Chapter 48

Pairing: Gods!OT8 x !F!Reader Genre: romance, friends to lovers, polyamory, mystery, supernatural, angst, fluff, smut Wordcount: 4897 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] [11] - [12] - [13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [18] - [19] - [20] [21] - [22] - [23] - [24] - [25] - [26] - [27] - [28] - [29] - [30] [31] - [32] - [33] - [34] - [35] - [36] - [37] - [38] - [39] - [40] [41] - [42] - [43] - [44] - [45] - [46] - [47] - [48] - [49] - [?] MASTERLIST Summary: With no memory of who you were, you wake up in the woods, only to be found by eight unusually handsome men. With no information of the past, the guys decide to take you in and take care of you for the time being. But that time becomes years, and as time passes, you start to notice that there is something different about them... and something different about you... Warnings: angst, praise, thigh riding, kissing, fingering, overstimulation, lovebites, bad/miscommunication, low self-esteem, swearing, name-calling, dry humping, college, degradation, gods, special powers, vaginal sex, oral sex (f&m), mentions of contraception (condoms&thepill), injuries, mentions of death (but no character deaths), virgin!reader, teasing, orgasms, poly relationship, semi-public sex, daddy kink, strength kink, grinding, I've probably forgotten some, so let me know if I did and I will add more as the story progresses.

Taglist: @eastleighsblog @tangerminie @swittyregan @septicrebel @jiimout @zandra-42@julciaqwerty @vampcharxter @mercurezed @thatgirlangelb @cookiemonstermusic258 @stayconnecteed @bubblelixie @smilingtokki@hash2013 @juskz Want to be added or did I miss you? Just send me an ASK or DM

Lots of love and many thanks to my current beta’s from Wattpad: rocker7898 and sydneye2411. You guys made my writing so much better <3

Sleepily, you shuffled into the kitchen, Jeongin's hands on your shoulders as he pushed you gently forward. You had done your best to convince him that you'd call in sick to uni today, but he wasn't having it.

Felix's head turned away from the furnace and he spotted you, an instant glowing smile on his face.

'You're back!' He said happily, dropping his pans and rushing over to you. Before you could even blink he wrapped his arms around you, forcing Jeongin's hands from your shoulders, and hugging you tightly.

'We've missed you,' he whispered softly into your ear with his low voice.

'Don't break her,' Jeongin grumbled, but Felix's hold on you wasn't painful. You could smell his warm homey scent, his hair and clothes already smelling like the pancakes he was making for breakfast. Being in his embrace made you want to instantly fall asleep again, lying in his arms, but a prodding finger in your back made you blink and let go.

'Hey, don't you fall asleep again, missy,' Jeongin warned. Felix let go of you and raised his brows at Jeongin. You turned around to stick your tongue out at him.

Last night, after you had taken a shower to clean up together, Jeongin had urged you to go to bed early. He reassured you that he would get your stuff and tell Seungmin he'd taken you home. You instantly objected, feeling super awkward and guilty, but Jeongin insisted and your body felt too tired to fight him on it. So eventually you gave in and laid down in his bed, falling asleep almost instantly. When you awoke again, it was already morning. Jeongin was standing beside you, nudging you softly and telling you it was time to get up and get ready for school.

'I don't want to fight Han and Lino as well,' he grumbled as he softly nudged you in the direction of a chair.

'As well, what do you mean?' you said, suddenly feeling wide awake and turning around to look at him, feeling worried. Jeongin clicked his tongue.

'Can you stop worrying for once, sit down and eat. Felix, are any of the pancakes ready yet?' He evaded your question and looked at Felix.

'Oh shit, right,' he said quickly, running back to his now slightly smoking pans and continuing his cooking.

'Innie- Seungmin- how- what did he say?' You asked nervously, sitting down on a chair but fidgeting with the hem of the shirt Jeongin lent you.

Jeongin shrugged and sat down next to you. 'He was quite busy, to be honest,' he said vaguely.

'Jeongin! Just tell me!' You said kicking him under the table. He hissed and pouted at you.

'Fine, he wasn't too happy about you leaving so suddenly, but he understood,' Jeongin began, but upon seeing your face he quickly added in a low whisper, 'He didn't seem to mind what happened too much but still, we all prefer to keep you to ourselves don't we?' he said with a shrug. You still felt uneasy about the whole situation. 'Relax,' he said, putting his hand on your knee and looking at you earnestly. 'I swear, it was fine. He was very busy and he understood you were needed back home. He just wanted me to take good care of you.'

Looking into his golden eyes, you knew he meant it. Seungmin hadn't been mad or disappointed about it and everything was alright. You took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh, feeling your heart becoming at ease.

Felix started serving the two of you breakfast and after a while, Changbin came stumbling into the kitchen as well. His hair seemed a mess and the bright red roots of his hair seemed to be grown out more than ever. He yawned for a bit until he saw you. He blinked a few times, then a wide smile appeared on his face. Before you could even say or do anything he was already attacking you, bringing you into a bear hug.

'Can't breathe Binnie!' You laughed, still half a bite of pancake in your mouth as you tried to speak. He quickly let go of you, checking your face thoroughly. He apparently concluded you were well and smiling again, stroking your hair while kissing your head.

Shortly after Changbin released you and you resumed eating breakfast, a dark figure came peaking around the corner.

'Channie!' You said as a messy-haired, dark-circled Bang Chan shuffled into the kitchen sleepily. Seeing you, his eyes instantly cleared up and he smiled broadly, opening his arms for you. You ran over to him, jumping into his arms for him to hold you.

'Glad you're back babygirl,' he said, as he too nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, tickling you. You were so glad to see your boys again, even though it had only been a few days.

After you finished eating, you tried to get Felix to eat. Offering to take over the cooking instead and promising you wouldn't let anything burn this time. However, you suddenly heard footsteps again.

Minho entered the room, looking tired but already dressed in his usual suit and glasses, college professor style. He stopped in his tracks seeing you and raised his brows in surprise for a moment.

'Lino!' You said his name happily, standing up quickly from your chair. You pushed Felix in it instead and ran over to him. He hugged you back, kissing the top of your head.

'Was about time you finally came back home,' he mumbled to you. You looked up at him with a broad smile, as he smiled back at you for a moment. 'Now where are those pancakes, cuz I'm starving,' he grumbled.

'Right!' Felix said instantly, jumping up from his chair again and returning to the kitchen. Admitting defeat, you went back to your chair again and sat down, looking around the table and enjoying their handsome faces that you'd missed so much.

However, your gaze lingered on Minho for a bit. He had unusual dark circles under his eyes. You knew he often stayed up late, grading papers and preparing his next lessons, but you had rarely seen it have any effect on him.

Then suddenly you felt something. It was like someone flicked their fingers against the top of your spine. A nudge that wasn't at all friendly. Something was off. You looked at Chan, but he was a closed book. Too closed. You took a slow breath through your nose, mentally poking your Goddess to wake up. Apparently, she did because suddenly you could feel how he was purposefully closing himself off from you. You frowned, looking at Changbin. He however was an open book as always. Something was definitely wrong. You wanted to slap yourself in the face for not noticing immediately, as it was totally unlike Changbin not to talk, asking you stuff until you were blistering behind the ears. Besides your greeting, he had barely said a word and looked at you even less. You looked back at Minho and your Goddess seemed to ring an alarm. He was not just looking somewhat shabby. He was doing horribly. You could see his light, and although not dimmed down, you could see something was very wrong.

'What are you doing?' Chan suddenly asked sharply. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at you sternly again, but you ignored him, looking around the room, hoping to find any hints. Felix was looking at you suspiciously now too, his eyes narrowed as well. He looked just as worried as you felt. You pulled harder at your Goddess wanting to find an answer desperately as to what the hell was going on. Suddenly, Chan smashed his hands on the table, and you lost the link. Their lights vanished and you stared at him startled. 'Stop it!' He growled at you, looking so angry that you almost forgot yourself. For a moment you looked at him with an open mouth, then you quickly closed it again. You gave him a deadly look but you weren't going to fight with him right now.

'What is going on?' you asked Minho, who was looking confused from you to Chan and back.

'I could ask you two the same thing,' he said with a chuckle. But you weren't in for laughs right now.

'Lino, I know something is wrong,' you told him sternly, imitating Chan's tone. For just a millisecond he looked taken aback, but then he corrected himself and simply raised a brow at you, pulling a face as if he had no idea what you were talking about. 'Lino!' you said angrily, this time it was your turn to slam your hand on the table in anger. From the corner of your eye you could see Chan balling his fists and looking at the others with an expression that made you think he was talking to them telepathically, forbidding them to tell you anything. You looked at Jeongin, but he was actively avoiding eye contact while cutting the last quarter of his pancake into unnecessarily small pieces. You found Felix's eyes but he bit his lip and shook his head, forcing a badly formed smile. Annoyed, you looked over at the nervously shuffling Changbin. You could see he was at his tipping point, he wanted to tell you but knew he wasn't allowed. You looked at all of them, one by one, but none of them would break.

'Tsk,' you said, raising your chin and standing from your seat. 'I'll go find Jinnie and Hannie instead then,' you said, turning around.

'No!' all of their voices came out at the same time. Bingo. You turned around sharply.

'So something is the matter with them? Both of them?' you asked fiercely. Chan got up from his seat now too, looking at you just as angrily as you were at him.

'Lino,' he said, without looking at him, his eyes still on you as if you would run when he'd looked away, 'didn't you say you had to go to work early today? Y/n still needs a ride, I think,' he said suggestively.

'Chan I swear,' you started threateningly, before Minho could even answer, 'if you guys don't tell me what is going on right now I will... I will,' you began, looking for a good threat to use, 'I will pull on my goddess again,' you suddenly decided. You weren't sure why it pissed him off every time you did, but you knew it was something you could use.

'No,' he said, suddenly backing down. The tension that had been in his arms and shoulders dropped but a muscle in his jaw pulled still. 'No, I... We'll... Fine,' he sighed, with clenched teeth. He looked at the others but they didn't say anything. Their eyes were large and they looked slightly hesitant still. Then Felix stepped forward.

'Han...' Felix began. It was all you needed for a stone to drop into your stomach. 'Han is sick,' he said slowly.

'S-sick?' you repeated confused. 'But-but I thought you-you guys couldn't get sick?' you recalled.

Felix bit his lip and looked at Chan, as did you. His look had softened. You could see how he was trying to hide the fear in his eyes, but you knew him too well.

'We can't and we don't,' Chan said quietly. Your eyes shot to Jeongin, who was looking at you. His face instantly turned beet red.

'Why didn't you tell me?' you hissed, feeling more guilty than ever. Jeongin's face resembled a very ripe tomato.

'I got carried away, I kinda... forgot...' he muttered, looking away from you.

'I have to see him, right now,' you insisted, already turning around, ready to dash off, but Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you.

'Y/n, no wait-' he began, but you tried to shake him off.

'Get off! I have to see him! Let me go! Let me see him! Hannie!' you cried. Panic was growing inside of you. You had failed. Failed as a goddess. You hadn't been able to protect him. You should've never left him.

Frantically you tried to pull yourself loose but Chan was too strong. All the others had jumped up from their chairs now as well, running over and saying things to stop you, but you wouldn't hear it.

'-don't know what it is y/n,' you heard Minho say.

'-might be contagious,' Changbin tried to convince you. But that only made it worse. If Han was sick, you would be sick with him. You did not care, you just had to see him.

'Let her go,' a voice suddenly spoke behind you. You froze for a moment, stopping your weak attempts to break loose from Chan. You looked around to see Hyunjin standing behind you, near the stairs. He looked tired, the same dark circles under his eyes as Minho sported. But his tone was calm and his posture relaxed,his hands in his pockets.

'Hyunjin, no,' Chan objected. 'We don't know what he has, even Felix can't do anything. It's too dangerous for her!' he tried to plead. To your surprise, Hyunjin chuckled at his words.

'First of all, Felix is a veterinarian, not a human doctor, he said so himself,' Hyunjin said calmly, taking a step forward. 'And even if he was a human doctor, his expertise would still be worthless since we are not human,' he added, taking another step. You could feel Chan's grip slacken on your wrist and you quickly pulled it loose before he could recompose himself. Quickly you ran over to Hyunjin, who had already opened his arms for you, closing them around you as soon as you grabbed hold of him. 'Welcome back sugar,' he whispered, kissing your brow. You could feel Chan's angry gaze on your back, but you didn't care.

'You know,' Felix said. You turned your head to see his face. He had stepped forward now too, his expression curious and bemused. His words are not questioning.

'To be honest, this wouldn't have been as much of a problem, as it currently is if we hadn't been as careful, funnily enough,' Hyunjin said with a grim chuckle.

'Just speak for fuck's sake Jinnie,' Minho said irritably. Hyunjin sighed deeply, a flair of drama adding to the scene.

'I keep telling you all over and over again, but you never listen,' Hyunjin sighed.

'What?' Minho snapped, angrily.

'Love,' Hyunjin said the word darkly. 'Love is a dangerous thing,'

A memory flashed before your eyes. You were standing in the club where Jeongin worked at. You were on the dancefloor with Hyunjin. He was standing at arm's length away from you, his face inscrutable. His eyes bore into yours.

'You gotta be careful with love,' he said so quietly you could only just hear it. 'It can be exceptionally dangerous.' Before you could even blink again, he turned around and walked away, leaving you behind, completely bewildered.

You blinked and the vision faded away, as you looked up at him curiously. No one said anything but Hyunjin let go of you and looked at you with a soft smile.

'Come, he's waiting for you,' Hyunjin said.

Though Felix, Chan, Changbin, Jeongin, and Minho had followed you and Hyunjin to Han's room closely, they didn't protest and kept quiet. You suspected Hyunjin was talking to them telepathically. Most likely explaining to them what he wasn't to you, but you were too nervous to ask. Your heart was beating in your chest, and the stone in your stomach was still there. The feeling of immense guilt still gnawed at you as you stood in front of Han's bedroom door, Hyunjin smiling at you softly.

'We'll go in together, shall we?' Hyunjin said, taking your hand into his. A warm feeling entered you through your hand. It felt like it was flowing up through your arm and wanting to enter your mind, but there was too much worry in there to allow the feeling of love to take over. You nodded stiffly, nervously.

'It's me,' Hyunjin said as he knocked on Han's door. A muffled and far away hum sounded and Hyunjin opened the door slightly, stepping through the crack and pulling you in as well, before closing the door behind the two of you.

It was only a second, but it was all you needed. Han looked terrible. His face looked almost gray, all his color seeming to have faded from him. His normally cute chubby cheeks had disappeared, like he hadn't eaten in weeks and the dark circles underneath his eyes made Minho's look like a bad imitation. Before you could even blink, Han let out a hoarse shriek, pulling the blankets over his face and disappearing out of sight.

'Are you insane?' he tried to yell at Hyunjin, but his voice was nothing more than a hoarse whimper. The sight of Han and the sound of his unrecognizable voice made your stomach turn and tears instantly welled up in your eyes as you looked over at Hyunjin. To your surprise he simply rolled his eyes, you gawped at him. How could he put on his drama queen act right now while Han was in such a state?

'I know what is wrong with you Hannie,' he said simply, sitting down on the chair that was standing beside his bed. You stayed standing where Hyunjin had let go of you, frozen to the spot with fear.

Han mumbled something underneath the covers that you couldn't quite catch.

'That's just the problem,' Hyunjin responded to him, his voice dripping with annoyance. You gave him a deadly look, which he ignored. 'None of you ever listen to me. So for once, shut up and listen!' he ended his sentence fiercely, his eyes on you now, looking serious.

There was no response from underneath the blankets.

'Han,' Hyunjin began in a clear voice, 'you are love-sick.' For a second, there was silence, then Han threw the covers from his face, looking at Hyunjin as angrily as his haggard face allowed.

'Do not mock me,' he said with a hoarse voice. Seeing Han now, up close, it looked even worse. His green eyes were dull and his dark hair was hanging limply over his forehead. Without even realizing it yourself you clapped a hand over your mouth in shock. The movement seemed to draw his attention however and he looked over at you, his eyes full of pain as he saw you standing there with your hand before your face.

'Y/n, no- I-I never wanted you to see me like this. I told them to-to keep you away,' he whimpered weakly.

'Which is why you only became sicker,' Hyunjin said seriously. He looked over at you. 'Y/n, sweetheart, come over here,' he said softly, beckoning you to the bed. He didn't have to tell you twice. You rushed to the bed and before Han even had time to pull away, you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face into his neck as you cried.

'I'm so sorry Hannie. I'm so sorry. I should've never left you. I'm a worthless goddess, I'm worthless! I'm so sorry,' you kept repeating as tears fell onto his feverish skin. You didn't care if you'd get sick as well. You didn't care if he was trying to push you away. You would never let go again. Never.

Han struggled to get you off of him, but his normally strong arms seemed to be too weak right now to push you away. His hoarse mumbles of protest were hard to make out over your sobbing words of apology and finally, he gave up. You buried your face deeper into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent as tears rolled from your eyes.

You were horrible. A horrible person. No. A horrible goddess. You had failed them.

You sat in silence as you embraced him, silent tears falling from your eyes as you continued to curse yourself in your head. You could feel Han's slow and steady heartbeat, his chest against yours.

Minutes passed and for some reason, the unusually high temperature of Han's body slowly seemed to lower. When you held him first, he felt hot, like Changbin, but now... Maybe it was simply you getting used to his heat.

You slowly let go of him, pulling back a little to look at his face.

You blinked a few times.

Was it your imagination or had he regained some of his color?

'It's not your fault y/n, it really isn't. But please leave, I beg you. We don't know what is wrong with me and for all we know it might be contagious,' Han begged you, looking at you desperately but sounding less hoarse.

'It isn't contagious,' Hyunjin said with an air of annoyance. Han looked at him destructively but Hyunjin didn't seem to care.

'Go, go now, please,' Han begged once more, giving you a soft push, away from him. You wanted to object, but to your surprise, Hyunjin got up too.

'I think this'll be enough for now,' Hyunjin said with a nod, putting his hand out for you to take. You quickly shook your head.

'I'm not leaving,' you insisted. Hyunjin sighed.

'He's going to be fine now, I promise,' Hyunjin tried to convince you but you shook your head once more.

'Baby, just go,' Han added as well, nodding and faking a smile, 'I'll be fine.' However, there was nothing that could convince you right now. There was nothing they could say to convince you to leave right now. Not in the state Han was in. Not after you had already abandoned him once, getting him sick. No way.

Hyunjin sighed and shook his head as well.

'Well, I guess you're leaving me no choice,' Hyunjin sighed. Without giving you time to even open your mouth, he was suddenly standing next to you, his arms around your body as he picked you up like you weighed nothing.

'HYUNJIN!' You yelled out, shocked. You were used to being picked up and tossed around by Changbin, Chan and lately Felix as well, but none of the others had ever done anything like this before. 'HYUNJIN!' You called out his name again, your fists hammering on his back for him to let go of you. You heard Han say something but could barely make out the words as the blood was rushing to your head. 'LET ME GO!' you called out, but it was already too late, Hyunjin was already closing the door behind him. You got a quick glimpse of the guys in the hallway, noticing that Jeongin was missing.

'I'll monitor his progress,' Felix said between your screams. You could feel Hyunjin nodding before you started pounding your fists upon his back again.

'Let me go! Let me go now! Let me go to him! Let me stay with him! Please Hyunjin!!!' You cried out, but he ignored you. The sound of another door opening and closing filled your ears and you were carefully put down on a bed. He had brought you back to your own room.

Instantly you jumped up but Hyunjin halted you.

'Sit,' he commanded. You froze. You had heard Chan using his voice of authority many times before, but never Hyunjin. Reluctantly, you sat down, looking at him angrily.

'Y/n, you gotta listen to me,' Hyunjin said seriously. You pressed your lips together in anger but listened. 'Han has love sickness,' Hyunjin said the words slowly.

'But Han said-,' you began but he cut you off.

'I know what he said but that's just because he doesn't want to believe it. But trust me, trust me on this that I am right,' Hyunjin said seriously. You didn't react but your anger disappeared and you felt yourself calm down slowly. 'Han is love sick, and the hug you gave him just now will be enough to cure him by the end of the day,' Hyunjin said. You opened your mouth in protest but once again Hyunjin cut you off. 'Trust me when I say this. Trust me that I am right. After all, have any of us ever been wrong regarding our powers before?' he asked. You thought for a second, trying to think of a moment where they made a mistake, but not finding any. You still looked at him with discontent.

'Baby,' he began in a softer tone, lowering so his face was level with yours, 'I promise you Han will get better, he just needs some time right now. Just like with a real sick person, you should drown them in the remedy but offer small doses. Besides, you heard him, he really doesn't want to see anyone right now because he is afraid,' Hyunjin said. You looked at him, wanting to protest, wanting to run back to Han and hold him more, but you didn't dare move. 'Besides, it's a school day, and you know how he'd react if you failed any of your classes,' Hyunjin chuckled with a wink. You clenched your jaw as you pushed away the last bit of you wanting to run back to Han. Slowly, you nodded.

'That's a good girl,' Hyunjin said, petting your head and smiling. 'Now I'd get ready quickly if I were you because it's already quite late,' he said with a meaningful look at the clock on your nightstand. You didn't say anything, staying seated and not moving as you tried to calm down the last bit of yourself.

'Hyunjin?' You began softly. He was already getting to the door but he stopped and turned to look at you. 'How can he be love-sick?' You asked, still not quite understanding the situation.

Hyunjin gave you a grim smile. 'None of you really ever listen to me, do you?' He sighed. 'I've told the others a thousand times, and I've told you, love should not be underestimated and can truly be a dangerous thing,' he sighed, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

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jellycrusher · 1 year ago

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Fangirl pt. 6

INITIALLY POSTED ON MY FORMER PAGE: bts-teaspoonff

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x backupdancer!reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 8.1K

Warnings: slight angst, minor character death, implied PTSD, panic attack

Taglist: @nochujeonjk @i-like-puppy-mg @miyochan@satotakeru14 @boba-tea1206 @blimpintime @kodzuskook @fangirl125reader @xicanacorpse

PARTS: masterlist... 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

You’re back at your apartment, staring blankly at the ceiling as you lay down on the floor of your living room trying to contemplate what just happened today. It was supposed to be a free day for you but so far, everything is so crazy. You shrill as you curl yourself into ball, rolling to the side, as you recall all the events that had happened today.

From Hoseok attending your class then driving you back to BigHit, to standing in that recording booth listening to their voices as they mutter your name. What in the world did you do in your past life to receive all this happiness?

You pull your bag from the table above you to the floor where you’re laying down. You stare at the brand new purple phone inside your bag. Jiyong handed it out to you when you asked for a copy of the message. You did refuse it at first but when Jiyong mentioned Namjoon specifically told him that there’s absolutely no way he’ll let you refuse their gift. You raise the phone towards the ceiling as you flip it to closely examine the phone. You let your fingers brush on the small and subtle BTS logo on its backside.

“What did I do to be this lucky?” You unlocked the phone for the first time and almost dropped the phone on your face, taken aback at the silly wallpaper that appeared out of the blue. It looks like Taehyung took the selfie, with him and Jin in the front while Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook, in the middle row, were all adorably trying to push forward as if fighting for a bigger space in the selfie. RM and Yoongi were behind the other boys being so casual about it. You chuckle so loud looking at Yoongi in the selfie. It must have taken a lot of persuasion from the boys for him to join.

You browse your phone to find the recorded message. After a few minutes, you finally found it saved as a widget on your menu screen. You click to play it on loudspeaker and pressed the phone on your chest as you anticipate to hear them once more.

[All 00:01]

Hello y/n, we are BTS!

[Taehyung 00:04]

Surprise! On behalf of our favorite sound engineer, Jiyong, we give you this one of a kind voice message from us, your favorite group in the world.

[Jin 00:14]

He told me he’s terrified of you when you’re angry…… What?…. Jiyong is telling the boys that I’m lying. Don’t believe what he says. Jiyong has a sister complex, guys.

[RM 00:25]

Hyung, don’t bully Jiyong unless you also want to give him an apology message

[Jin 00:31]

I’m just joking. Jiyong adores you. I can attest to that because he won’t stop bragging you to us even before you have worked here. I almost feel like I’m your close friend with how much he talks about you

[Yoongi 00:43]

As expected, this message is now getting chaotic. Should we get to our main point?

[Jimin 00:49]

Right! We actually suggested if Jiyong could instead give you a signed album but he admitted that you already have ALL our albums. Most of them being signed albums so I guess there’s no point in giving you an extra copy?

[Jungkook 01:05]

So Taehyung, being a genius, asked us if we could record this message and sing a few parts of our songs just for you.

[J-hope 01:10]

For our number one fan, we’ll sing for you right here. Every time you hear this, imagine that we’re singing in front of you.

[RM 01:17]

Enjoy our little gift! And can you please assure Jiyong that you’re not angry with him? He really looks like a terrified and sad little puppy

[Jin 01:29]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA look at Jiyong

A few more seconds, they started singing Butterfly. How many times have you played this song on repeat? You can’t even remember anymore. Listening to them sing it ‘live’ to you through this recorded message still gives off the same raw emotional performance compared from the studio version.

Jiyong must have suggested them to sing Butterfly. You may have mentioned him once before that this song was significant to you but no one really knows the reason for it. At first, Jiyong thought that it’s just simply your favorite song from BTS but soon after, he realized that maybe you thought of your parents based on the message of the song.

You didn’t try to explain anything to him even when he opened the topic of your parents. You just let him think that the reason why this song is significant for you is because, as stated in the song’s message, it expresses your fear of losing someone represented by a butterfly.

It’s actually much deeper than that. You actually thought of yourself whenever you hear this song. Yes, both you and Jiyong lost your parents. However, you also lost a part of yourself after the accident. It took you years to recover yourself back from the trauma.

It was late at night when your parents were driving, along with you as a passenger, back to the house. They argued for just a few seconds as you observe them quietly from the back seat, then an upcoming skidding truck blinded all of you with its glaring front lights. When you opened your eyes, you were already upside down hanging by the seatbelt. Smell of gas was eerily present as you see the front of the car totaled along with your parents, making you the only survivor. Silence in that dark tunnel was terrifying.

Jiyong wasn’t in the car when it happened. Fortunately, he was staying back at home with your grandparents because he was sick that night.

Both you and Jiyong quickly became the talk of the village. There has never been a horrific accident in the history of your town. A drunk driver collided with the car that your family had been in, killing everyone but you. High School Orphans and only your grandparents now to take care of you and your twin brother. You had to show a brave front for your brother. You may be twins but you acted the big sister role most of the time and had to constantly comfort Jiyong through the pain of losing your parents.

However, the guilt of surviving alone and the horrifying image of your parents constantly fights your sanity. You had to be strong for Jiyong but as a young girl at that time, you did crave for a figure to not just comfort you but also help you get up.

When you heard Butterfly years after the accident, you understood it very well. In the lyrics, there’s also a hint of trying to save someone before they do something they regret or something they won’t come back from. When you listen to the song, it felt like there’s two of you. The you who is trying very hard to hold on is singing the lyrics to the you who is on the verge of letting go.

The lyrics can be interpreted as losing someone you love. It can be an ex-partner, friend, or loved one. For you, it was yourself. Losing yourself. That’s what you were afraid of and fought really hard to not make that happen.

That’s the main reason you became their fan. The complexity of their lyrics always seems to pull the unspoken words from you.

· ───────── ·⑦· ───────── ·

“Here’s an orange juice from me!” Taehyung props down the cold drink in front of Jiyong and sits down on a chair beside him, eyes still glued on Jiyong like a puppy.

“How about Pad Thai from your favorite Thai place?” Jimin joined them as he offers it and sits on the other side opposite to Taehyung.

“I’m sure he’ll choose mine. Hamburg steak with cheese and additional sauce.” Jungkook stood behind Jiyong, towering him as he leans in and puts down the food in front of Jiyong.

“I’m telling you guys I can’t give it to you. She’ll kill me for sure this time.” Jiyong whined as he kick his legs from frustration. He wants to accept the food bribery but he knows that if he give what the three adorable troublemakers are asking from him, an apology message from BTS won’t save him again from you.

“You used our song for her cover. I guess we have a right to listen to it or even have a copy of it.” Taehyung pouts followed by adamant nods from Jimin and Jungkook.

When you were with Jiyong in the small recording studio, the three of them were actually just outside the door along with Hoseok trying to eavesdrop waiting for a reaction from you. They were actually surprised when Jiyong suggested that you try to sing to their song just to let off steam. Jungkook and Taehyung can’t seem to stop snickering when they heard you two siblings teasing each other through the intercom because you insisted Jiyong not to hit the record button when you start singing.

When Jiyong asked you what songs you would like to sing, you declared to sing short covers to Promise, Still With You and Snow Flower, granting gasps from the three song owners sneaking outside. Taehyung actually choked a bit from his own saliva, not expecting you to sing his song.

The four of them were all listening in as you were singing in the booth the whole time. Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung were absorbed especially when it was their song that you’re singing. J-hope was also amazed and surprised. Not only you were one heck of a dancer but an amazing singer as well. Your talents could bring other idols that they know to shame.

After you were done and left the recording studio, they all rushed inside to ask Jiyong if he did record it all. To their surprise, Jiyong recorded it all but of course, he did it without you knowing. Since then, the boys have been asking and bribing Jiyong to send them a copy of the music file.

“I helped you by suggesting the personal recorded message. Can I have a copy of her cover please?” Taehyung pleaded with his doe eyes. Jiyong, now closely surrounded by the maknae line, contemplates whether the risk of being chopped to pieces by you is worth it.

· ───────── ·⑦· ───────── ·

Inside the practice room, every other dancer is busy dancing their butts off. You lean back on your hands spread behind you as you quietly observe your other fellow dancers practicing in front of the mirror. With the purple phone in your other hand, you gripped it tightly as you let your breathing slowly normalize just after finishing your solo dance practice. Sounds of stomping and shoe skidding on the floor echoed in the practice room as everyone pushed through the hectic schedule for the day.

Tomorrow is the team’s MT or three day team-building event that’s got everyone in a tight schedule for today to, at least, finish any preparations that could be done and present the couple dance routines in front of BTS along with the choreographers.

BTS and the main choreographers later entered the practice room and soon the dance routine presentation started. You’re last to present along with your dance partner, Taeyang, the couple dance routine you’ve finished. When it was finally your turn, Taeyang quickly stood and offered to help you up off the floor. You have danced in front of the boys and the choreographers countless of times but why does it still feel like you’re dancing to be evaluated and be listed off the team.

The other boys quickly took notice of your newfound closeness with your dance partner and they weren’t entirely comfortable seeing you smile so sweetly at him. Hoseok were glaring at Taeyang’s hand as they landed snugly on your hips to turn you into place. The three younger members were sneaking stares like a hawk.

They all knew that one of them is gonna dance with you to this song eventually but seeing you be this touchy and close to another man ignited something in them. Unsure whether it was jealousy but they convinced themselves that it might just be the feeling of protectiveness since Jiyong had told them again and again to keep an eye out for you.

Yoongi’s full attention today was not really on any dancers nor the dance routines. He knew the inevitable obvious choice, which is to give anyone from the dance line the solo dance spot. The only dance routines he gave his attention to, not caring entirely though, was the dance routine for a member with three or two dancers. He glanced at his other members and sees Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok sitting up straight and anticipating you to start dancing with your male partner.

The second the music started, the four members on the dance line were entirely absorbed on watching ahead. Without needing words, Yoongi knew that the four of them are hungrily vying for the solo dance part. What he didn’t know was that the four of them were only thinking of the opportunity to finally have a chance to share the stage with you. The way your male partner danced to the music along with you, to the tunes of Without Me by Halsey, had them hungry for the coveted spot.

Taeyang, your dance partner, carefully lands his hands on your hips and it travels down to your leg as you lean into him with your head back. Catching everyone’s eye at the intimate and almost sultry dance step, especially Yoongi. A few sneaky gulps occurred amongst them. You were completely engrossed in the music with movements completely fluid and expressions purely enchanting everyone.

You were naïve to the scorching gazes and unfamiliar desire from the 7 members. Yoongi along with Jin and RM were now determined to insert themselves in the competition amongst the group for the solo dance part. All of them quickly exchanged looks the moment you finished dancing and the music stopped. No words were spoken but all of them understood that each of them definitely wanted the opportunity to share the stage with you more than the coveted chance to dance solo.

You held your water bottle tightly while you quench your thirst. You eye out to the side as the main choreographers were busy talking to each other and to some of the dancers. Taehyung, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook were also busy talking to their managers at the other side of the room.

“I see that you’re putting our gift to good use.” You almost choke on your water at the sudden voice behind you.

“Namjoon? Don’t scare me like that” You cough. Finishing his cup of water, he slowly walked to your side. You quickly notice Yoongi’s head popping out from Namjoon’s side. “Hello to you two.” Namjoon cheekily grins and Yoongi smiled with his lips closed.

“He said you’re putting our gift to good use.” Yoongi slightly leans forward, whispering. You glanced at him and quickly looked at the purple phone you’re tightly holding in your other hand beside you.

Quickly after realizing that the two of them were eyeing your phone, you stammer while you took a step closer. “You really didn’t have to give me this. I tried to refuse it but Jiyong told me that you insisted that I accept it. Also, your other gift was unexpected but thank you. I appreciate it.” You smile nervously at the two of them, hiding the fact that you don’t just appreciate the recorded message but it meant the world to you. Obviously, you won’t admit that.

“We did thought of giving you a portable drive for the message but I remembered that I did ruin your phone so I suggested that to them. For that I’m sorry.” Namjoon rubs the back of his head.

Yoongi tries to join in the conversation, placing his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. “Have you tried exploring your phone? Checked the apps that we have pre-downloaded for you?” Your eyes widen at Yoongi’s sudden questions, followed by a shake of your head. “We did. You might want to check it out.”

Both of them stare at you as you give them a dazed look. The hand beside you that has your phone slowly creeps its way up but the sudden presence of a hand halting your hand surprised you.

“Um… Maybe check it later when you’re alone.” Yoongi faces the other way, hand still around your wrist. He thought that maybe by looking away, you won’t notice the faint tinge of pink on his cheeks as he recall what surprise he left for you in your phone.

He slowly released your hand, aware of the sudden contact with you and the presence of a crowd in the room. Your eyes still glued to him, you did notice his effort to hide his bashfulness. You try to hold in your giggle at how Yoongi suddenly looked so adorable and it made you much more curious to check your phone. You remind yourself to definitely check what’s up with your new phone the moment the practice session is done.

By the time you realized your work for today is done, you search for the boys in the room but discovered that they might have left the room ahead of the choreographers and some staff. Most of the dancers were also eager to call it a day. Must be because of the Team MT tomorrow.

As the youngest of the new female dance team, you have always offered to be the last to stay and clean up the practice room. It comes as a shock to you that your dance partner Taeyang offered to stay behind to help you tidy up the room. While you may have gotten a lot closer with him, interactions with him outside of dance practice is still a bit awkward.

You sneak in a glance from the other side of the room as he busies himself with turning off all the electronic equipments while you tidy up the corner from the other side of the practice room. To distract yourself from being antsy at the awkwardness between you, you take out your phone from pocket to try and check the apps that Yoongi mentioned.

“Our dance a while ago was amazing.” Your voice got caught up in your throat when you suddenly heard his voice. He was still bending down, not looking at you, reaching for something behind the sound system. Almost instantly, you stood straight up at his compliment to hide the fact that you were glancing at him. Finally facing you, he says “Your moves were amazing. You really do transform when it’s time to perform just as the others say.”

“Thank you. I’m still lacking but I hope I did good as your partner.” you say as you put your phone back in your pocket.

Something about his gaze as he walks up to you made you avoid eye contact, bashful from the compliment. He slowly closes the distance between the two of you and you were so sure he was going to stop in front of you. You find yourself sighing when he just walked past you, to the water dispenser behind you.

“And thank you for staying and helping me clean up today.” You weren’t sure why you were so suddenly aware at how awkward this is turning out. Taeyang have complimented you before during practices but somehow, the change of timbre in his voice slightly made you nervous and hyperaware of the fact that you’re alone with him.

“Anytime, y/n.” You turn to him when you saw a smile slightly obstructed by the rim of the paper cup as he drink up a cup of water. “Too bad I’m just a stand-in for that solo dance.”

You barely caught what your dance partner had just said so you thought to try and ask him to repeat then a sudden sound of the door opening startling both you and Taeyang, your phone almost slipping from your hands. Your breath catches and you smile so wide it could almost reach your ears as you recognize the figure slowly coming up to you. Despite not having really spent a lot of time with Jin, his presence is a huge relief to break the sense of awkwardness filling your chest. You find your shoulders relax as you see him greet you with a smile.

Jin was also confused when he saw that you were alone with Taeyang in the room. He hides his discomfort at the sight but seeing how your face lit up when he came into the room, he let the thought pass and kept his face neutral despite wanting to grin at how adorable you looked when you smiled at him.

“Jiyong asked me to get you.” Jin says, still glancing at Taeyang drinking his cup of water behind you.

��“He could’ve just texted me. That lazy guy.” You hiss and then turned to Taeyang to bid goodbye.

“See you tomorrow then?” Taeyang pats your head and turns to his bag. You excused yourself from Jin to run and get your bag from the far end of the room. By the time you walked back beside Jin, Taeyang have already left the room.

“I didn’t know you and Taeyang were that close already.” Jin queries. He wants to press on further especially after seeing Taeyang comfortably touched your head but he doesn’t want you to think that he’s nosy. You and Jin were still acquaintances but with his closeness with Jiyong, you almost feel like a younger sister to him.

“Can’t help it if we’re always practicing that solo dance routine almost everyday.” You explain. “But we haven’t really spent much time outside practice time. He’s just looking out for me since he’s kind of my dance mentor too.”

I don’t think it’s just that, he thinks to himself. He saw the way Taeyang looked at you today. He knew all the male dancers well and Jin never saw that kind of gaze from Taeyang directed at anyone. Not that he has any problems with Taeyang probably having feelings for you, he just repeats to himself that he’s looking out for you.

“So what does my lazy brother need from me to have asked you personally to come and get me?” You question him as you usher him out of the room while you turn off the lights and close the door.

“Oh that. He didn’t actually.” You look at him, confused with brows furrowed. “I was the one who actually needed to get you and come with me. I only used Jiyong’s name because Taeyang was there.”

“Come with you? To where?” Both you and Jin walked side by side along the hallway.

“We’re having a game night at our dorm and the boys wanted to invite you.” Jin informs you, still looking ahead. He wasn’t aware that you stopped walking when you heard what he just said.

“Wait, what, Me? Why me?” Jin heard your voice slightly go up and this made him turn quickly to his side, startling him to not see you beside him and rather, frozen a few feet behind him.

“We invited Jiyong as well but he’ll be late. He said he’s caught up with work.” Jin beams at you warmly as he tries to calm you down.

“Yeah but why me? I mean isn’t it too sudden for me to just barge in at your dorm?” You counter.

Surely, this is a big jump from the warm gesture from the voice message and new phone. You’re happy that they have thought of you to come on their game night but isn’t their dorm their personal private space?

“Jiyong has been a very good friend to us, almost like family and we all wanted to make an effort to get to know you as well. We usually invite him to the dorm whenever we can and I think he would be happy if you’ll be there too.” For a moment, Jin thought it would be a good idea to just use Jiyong’s name as an excuse to invite you because he knew that you would be uncomfortable if it was just them inviting you. In reality, his other members have already suggested to invite you even before he got the chance to suggest it to them.

“I want to get to know all of you more as well. I’m just shocked that you all think the same way. Excuse me but I won’t deny anymore that I’ve been a huge fan for a long time. I’m sure you know that well by now.” You gripped the strap of your bag tightly and your nervous state didn’t go unnoticed by Jin. Your heart is racing a hundred beats a second at just hearing him invite you to their dorm.

“I’m just glad that Jiyong’s twin sister is our fan and not an anti. It would’ve been hard for us to befriend you if that was the case.” He chuckles. Your heart is full at Jin’s effort to lighten up the mood. “Come on. I’m going to buy food for the troublemakers at home. Yoongi will be cooking for us tonight but Taehyung and Jungkook texted me to get extras.” He pats your shoulder

A little extra time to get to know them wouldn’t hurt. It could actually help you a lot with the solo dance routine. You wouldn’t want to perform badly just because you’re not comfortable and awkward with your partner. Thinking back when you first danced to the song with Taeyang, it just looked so wrong and you couldn’t convey the dance properly. It’s a blessing in disguise to get to be close to them this way but you wouldn’t refuse such a scrumptious offer.

You were grateful for Jin’s effort to lift up your mood during the drive back to their dorm. Sometimes, you would tightly grip the seatbelt in front of your chest and fall quiet. He would suddenly pull out ridiculous puns that would bring out the most un-ladylike laugh from you. To distract yourself, you insisted to be the one to get off the car and pick up the order from a restaurant.

Your breathing gets ragged and eyes unfocused the longer the drive went and the closer you get to the dorm. You think you might be sick with the way your stomach flips at the thought of 6 other people waiting for you.

You froze behind Jin as he ring the doorbell. There’s still a chance for me to run, you thought but was interrupted when you hear unintelligible chatter from at least 2 people on the other side of the door.

The door flew wide open and you were greeted by Taehyung and Jungkook. The two of them holding the doorknob with Taehyung slightly pinned beneath by Jungkook who seems to have jumped on his back. “You’re finally here!” Taehyung flashes his boxy grin at you.

Your eyes wandered behind the two of them as Namjoon’s head popped up from the end of the short hallway visible from the doorway. He raised his hand to wave to you and you waved back.

“Don’t crowd the lady and help me carry these to the kitchen.” Jin instructs them and instantly, Taehyung and Jungkook untangled themselves from each other and rushed to get the bags from Jin’s hands. You could almost hear Namjoon at the edge of the hallway teasingly smacking and scolding the two of them from overwhelming you when you arrived.

Jin was caught by surprise when you try to hold in your chortle, shoulders shaking at the sight of those two being scolded. He stood against the door allowing you to go in ahead of him and when he saw you hesitate a bit, he hums and say with a grin “Don’t worry, those kids won’t bite.”

You walked ahead further down the hallway, nervously treading every step. Finally, you get a clearer view of the inside of their dorm. Directly on your right, a huge glass chandelier adorns the ceiling complimenting the black and white interior of the spacious kitchen. A long wooden dining table in the middle. Across from the kitchen, an L-figure brown couch facing the huge flat screen occupies the living room. It feels weird seeing it upclose and personal after seeing glimpses of their dorm from online videos and their V-lives.

Sound of plastic bags rustling coming from the kitchen caught your attention. Taehyung and Jungkook were rushing to take out all the contents from the bag, drooling at the sight of the takeout you and Jin ordered. Yoongi was busy chopping up something with his back facing away from everyone. You take in the scrumptious smell filling up the room and almost instantly, your stomach grumbled.

Jin walked past you to mingle with the two boys. You see the back of Namjoon’s head as he sits quietly on the couch with a book in his hand. Unable to stay put, you hover towards the kitchen. Observing everyone as you make your way closer to Yoongi.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You ask as you examine the boiling pot on the stove while Yoongi continues to chop up what seems to be ingredients for a stew. The quiet and busy member seems so docile-looking compared to the cool and stoic Yoongi you always encounter at work. Sometimes, it even confuses you with how he’s hot and cold towards you.

“You’re our guest. It wouldn’t really look nice if we let you work for your food.” He continues to chop, head only slightly turning to your direction, eyeing you out from the corner of his eye.

You roll up your sleeves, ignoring Yoongi. “I’ll help you out. It’s the least I can do for the free invitation and besides, my cooking skill is highly commendable.” You carefully snatch the knife away from his hands. Yoongi, unable to stop you, stepped aside and glanced at Jin. Both of them chuckling at your persistence.

“I’ll take up on that offer but if our dinner turns out bad, I’m blaming you.” Yoongi teases.

“I have magic hands. I doubt it’ll go bad. It might even turn out a lot better now that I’m helping you.” You counter, chopping the vegetables at a much quicker pace than Yoongi.

Jin stares warmly at the two of you comically bantering while seated on the dining table. He had thought of reminding his younger members to do their best to make you comfortable but it surprises him to see you fitting in almost instantly. He smiles as you comfortably interact with Taehyung and Jungkook as they make their way to sneak in between you and Yoongi.

Come dinner time, Yoongi excused himself from the kitchen to get something from his room, leaving you alone. Might as well help him to plate and serve the food so you wandered around the kitchen, checking the cabinets for plates.

You don’t hear the footsteps entering the kitchen while you search the bottom cabinet. The member could only hear the sound of the plates clunking against each other and not aware of the person obstructed by the huge black kitchen counter.

“Hyung, it smells good.” You hear a groggy voice behind the other side of the kitchen counter while you take out a plate. You stood up and sees an equally surprised Jimin. You could tell that he just woke up from a nap, judging by his bedhead. “Y/n? Why are you in the kitchen? Aren’t you our guest?” He rubbed his eyes and quickly searched for the missing presence of Yoongi.

You were about to explain yourself but was interrupted by Yoongi, returning from his room as he answers for you. “More like she snatched my tools and insisted on helping me. She won’t budge.” He huffs as he takes his place back in the kitchen, helping you plate the food.

Jimin, still sleepy, quietly offered his help. Taking away the filled-up plates from your hands. Yoongi asked him to call the other members for dinner. One after another, the members take up their space in the long table. Jin noticed you standing timidly at the side not knowing where to sit as everyone continues to sit down. He calls your attention and pulls out an empty chair beside him. You automatically walk up beside him and sat down, observing everyone.

It didn’t take long before the dinner got a bit rowdy. It wasn’t difficult to warm up to them, the feeling of comfort almost feels so natural. Everyone was obviously famished from the practice a while ago so the food was almost devoured instantly just as dinner started.

The younger boys complimented the dinner non-stop and insisted that you regularly visit their Game Nights in exchange for your impressive culinary skill. Jungkook complained that whenever Jiyong would help in the kitchen, he could destroy whatever Yoongi would make. Yoongi attests to that but quickly protests and teased them for not appreciating his work in the kitchen.

Jimin and Hoseok insisted that they clean up the table, escorting you to the couch. You see Jungkook setting up his PS4 on the tv across you. Namjoon stepped over the couch from behind you taking his place on your left and Jin sits down beside you on your right.

“I guess we won’t keep you too late. You still have to pack for the MT tomorrow.” Jin turns to you, still observing you if you’re having a good time with them.

“I’m sure you love the idea that you get to go back to your hometown even if it’s for work.” Namjoon reaches for a pillow beside him, hugging it.

“Wait. Hometown?” your fingers froze just as you were fiddling with your phone.

“Me and Jimin hyung were so excited when we heard that this year’s MT is in Busan. If I remember correctly, Jiyong hyung told us that his hometown is Busan, right?” Jungkook cheekily stood up with a cord in his hand. You could see the obvious grin plastered on his face as he searched for Jimin’s figure in the kitchen.

You bite your lip as you nervously try your best to recall. Did you just forget about the MT entirely? You were sure that they announced the location for the MT earlier this morning. Maybe you were too nervous and occupied with the thought of having to present the dance routine in front of everyone that you completely forgot about the MT being in Busan.

You sigh and rubbed your temples. Why would you even forget such an important detail like that? Just thinking about going back to Busan felt like an impending headache. There’s no way you could back out from the MT now. It’ll also look bad if you don’t join the dance team, it might send a message that you’re unsociable.

Unaware that you turned pale and started heaving hard, the three men in the living room with you were now starkly aware of your sudden change of expression at the mention of the MT.

“Noona, is there something wrong?” Jungkook asks with a worried voice, discarding the cord in his hands and swiftly knelt down in front of you. He tries to get a good look at you while you stare down at your knees, shoulders hunched forward.

Your ears started ringing and you squeeze your fists as your chest started getting heavier each breathe you take. Namjoon slowly sat up straight as he sees Jin and Jungkook trying to call your attention. It was when Jin wrapped his hands around one of your clenched fists that you realize how close Jungkook is crouching in front of you, head bent to the side as he worriedly observes your face. Jin’s warm hands enveloping your small, cold and shivering hands. Namjoon frozen in his seat not knowing what to do to help you.

“Um, can I excuse myself to the restroom please?” Your hands were starting to get clammy as you forced to compose yourself. You wish they could tell you the way to the restroom a lot faster as each passing second, it’s getting difficult to stay composed in front of them. Jin was the first to stand up from the couch and escorted you to the restroom, leaving Namjoon and Jungkook frozen in their seats.

You quietly close the door of the restroom, making sure not to let Jin worry more. Once you were sure you heard his footsteps get away from the room you were in, you could barely hold yourself up before your legs buckle and you let yourself fall to the floor. Your weight propped against the door as you try to suck the chilled air into your lungs. Sharp successive breaths took over you, slowly making you feel pins and needles at the tips of your fingers.

The panic creeps up on you in bouts. Your fingers claw at your legs as you hug them tighter. Memories that you worked so hard to forget starts to resurface and replays in your mind, leaving you suffocated.

For a moment, you picture yourself staying in the restroom for the rest of the night. You suddenly felt so alone in a space filled with 7 other people. Even the thought of standing up and getting back out takes up a lot of energy from your body.

Your excitement for tomorrow now completely gone and replaced by dread of going back to your hometown. It’s been years and you’re not even sure if you can even handle going back there. It was only two years ago when you recovered from being haunted in your dreams by the memories of the accident. You don’t want to lose your progress since it took a lot of effort by yourself to get back up.

It took only for you to hear boisterous laughter coming from the living room and somebody knocking on the door to remind you that you have no choice but to go back out. You reach for the edge of the sink to help yourself up. Like a newborn deer, you can’t really sustain your weight as your knees started shaking when you were standing properly. You take in one last deep breath before opening the door.

You crack your eyes open, body heaving with effort to get enough oxygen in your lungs but you’re met with the soulful brown eyes of Yoongi, narrowed in concern. He doesn’t question you further as you step aside to give way for him to use the restroom. It took three steps out the restroom before your knees decided to give out. Yoongi rushed to catch you before you fell to the floor.

You squeeze his arms around you that were holding you up before facing him. “You tell absolutely no one… I don’t want anyone to worry…” Breathing still ragged, you huff out every word to the best of your ability as you realize that you can’t hide your panic attack from Yoongi. You must look so bad to see Yoongi study your face with utmost care. “Yoongi please?… I’ll be fine. Don’t mind me… Just until my panic attack subsides.” He softly shush you as he sees your great effort to speak.

Yoongi sighs before calmly looking back at the empty hallway and to the living room where everyone’s pretty much occupied. His eyes wandered back to your shivering hands and shaking knees. You’re in no shape to walk back to the living room much less stand on your own. Yoongi slowly wraps his hand on your back and behind your knees before lifting you off the floor.

The scent coming from Yoongi’s body calms you as he cradles you in his arms. Your head felt like lead, finding its way on the crook of its neck. Before you even realize, you find yourself clinging to him as you fist your hands in his shirt. His skin is slowly getting hot against yours, and his breathing seems to have increased if you were only able to notice. His heartbeat against your ears was almost like a lullaby that greatly helped to calm you down.

“You’re alright.” He coos as he starts to hear you sniffle. He quietly walked towards his bedroom, with you in his arms, to give you a place private enough away from the eyes of the other members. He slowly puts you down on his couch and when you were finally seated comfortably, he rushed to reach for a blanket at the edge of the bed.

Your back felt damp, sweating all over and your fingers definitely feels asleep but clarity of your situation began creeping back. “Yo-Yoongi” You stammer as you realize that he chose to hide you in his bedroom.

“Shh, don’t force yourself to speak. Take it easy. I’m here.” He fixed the blanket around you before crouching down to completely see your face. “Just keep breathing and it’ll go away. I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks so trust me when I say I’ll just be here until you say so. You’ll be fine.”

You trust him as you find yourself focusing on your breathing. Once you find it easy to move your limbs with ease accompanied by a yawn, you know that the worst has passed. If it wasn’t for Yoongi, the situation could’ve escalated and would have made everyone unnecessarily worry about you.

“Thank you.” You manage to speak out. “I feel silly that you caught me looking like that. Sorry.”

Yoongi quietly hums, letting you speak further if you intend to while he reach for a glass of water on top of his side table beside the couch. He offers it and you take it with your hand still slightly shaking. He lets you drink first before he spoke up. “I overheard your conversation with the boys in the living room just before you went to the restroom. I was worried but I don’t know if you want anyone to check up on you. You were taking a lot longer than I expected so I knocked.”

You prop your head in your hands, elbows leaning on your knees. “This is the first time someone has seen me like this. It just took me by surprise when Jungkook mentioned Busan. Next thing I know, all I could think about is to run out the door.”

“I won’t force you to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. If you want to go home, I could just tell the boys to…” Your hand swiftly sprung out to land on Yoongi’s wrist.

“I’m fine. Jungkook seems so happy when he showed me the games we’ll be playing. I’ll just take a moment then I’ll be back out.” You assure Yoongi with a heavy breath. He wanted to assure you that they’ll understand if you want to excuse yourself for the night but he kept quiet, trusting you that you’ll be fine.

Not a second after, the doorbell rang to alert everyone in the dorm. Yoongi stood up from in front of you, eyes still glued on you as he saw you recognize the person on the front door just from the distinct way the doorbell was rung. “Don’t you dare tell my brother about this” You attempt to stand up, worried that Yoongi might tell Jiyong about your situation.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep this a secret between us. Just promise me that you’re fine before I leave you.” He assures you with his soft smile and gentle eyes as he opened the door and walking out.

“I’m fine Yoongi. Thank you. I’ll just take a minute to fix myself up before I go back out.”

“Take your time. I’ll try to come up with an excuse to keep them from looking for you. I’m sure Jungkook, Jin and Namjoon must be getting concerned by now.” He turns back to you before slowly closing the door.

You find yourself collapsing against the couch, your breathing slowly going back to normal. You heaved and leaned forward to try and stand up once again. When you knew you were fully capable of making a few steps without stumbling or any of your knees giving out, you walked straight to a full size mirror beside the door to fix yourself up. You pity yourself for having been seen by Yoongi like this; your eyes and nose were bright red and a couple of hair strands stuck to your forehead due to the profuse sweat.

To avoid anyone seeing you coming out of Yoongi’s bedroom in an effort to find you, you quickly and quietly walked out from the comfort of his room when you were sure you were devoid of signs that you were in utter distress just minutes ago.

Jungkook was about to run to find you but stopped when he saw you emerging back in the living room. Completely different from how you looked a while ago, he stares in confusion as you gleefully greet Jiyong who was now also present in the living room. Namjoon shares the same confusion as Jungkook. Yoongi was sitting down beside them and he saw the youngest member’s eyes following you as he tries to study your now seemingly normal expression.

Taehyung runs up to you behind the couch where you and your brother stand, pulling your wrist to ask you to play one-on-one against him. You don’t refuse and you take up space beside him, seated on the carpet. Just before the game starts, you turn to look at Yoongi and found him gazing at you. You mouthed Thank youto him and he nods before you got back to play with Taehyung.

Jin, Namjoon and Jungkook were wary when the topic about the MT came up again, you even catch Jungkook kicking Jimin’s feet to stop him from talking. When it was Jungkook’s turn to play again, you notice his eyes anxiously wander back to you from time to time. He must have been blaming himself for making you sad.

Like Jiyong knew what you needed to cheer up the youngest, he offered everyone ramyun as a late-night snack. Jungkook perked up at your brother’s offer while still glued to the screen and what looks like he’s winning against Taehyung. You quietly walked away from the living room to join your brother in the kitchen.

For a while, Jiyong kept quiet as you both hover around the kitchen. Normally, he would shower you with affection, tease you and bug you but you silently wonder why he’s not doing any of those. Your suspicion is confirmed when he starts to rub his hand behind your back as you discard the noodles from each packet. Your gaze dipped to him as stood there silently while emptying the contents of the soup packet unto the boiling pot.

“Noona, can I have that spicy ramen over there?” Jungkook asks, timidly walking over towards the both of you. You notice that he was standing slightly far from you, shoulders hunched and head down. His doe eyes still glistening as he subtly avoids meeting your eyes.

Although you feel bad for him, the corner of your mouth quirked up at him looking so adorable despite him towering over you. He seems to be so intimidating at work especially when he’s so focused but if you could just ball him up right now in your hands, you would.

You beckon him to come closer with your finger. When he was about an arms-length away from you, he opens his mouth to blurt out something. Before he even let out a sound, you pat his head, stopping him from talking any further.

“Thank you for worrying about me.” His eyes gleamed. “I’ll make you a whole bowl of ramyun of your choice. How does that sound?”

Jungkook jumps up and down in glee and he squeezed between you and Jiyong to reach for a packet of ramen. “Hyung, I like her better than you.” He sticks his tongue out then quickly dashes out of the kitchen before Jiyong could even counter.

You chortle. “You heard him. Apparently, they also request my presence every Game Night for my exquisite Culinary Expertise.”

“Well, I won’t argue about your cooking. Sooner or later, they’ll be bribing you for something. Those troublemakers.” Jiyong crinkles his nose, reminiscing all the times he spent with the boys where they’ll prank and tease him.

Yoongi sits back comfortably on the couch when he hears you regain your bright energy as you laugh and mingle with your brother in the kitchen.

Next: pt. 7

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #btsteaspoonff #bts jungkook #bts jimin #taehyung #namjoon #jungkook #jhope x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #rm x reader #jungkook x reader #v x reader

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etes-secrecy-post · 6 months ago

Text

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

Staycation at the SMDC Jazz Residences (w/ my paper dolls) [Recorded: May 18th to 19th, 2024] - Part 5 (Final)

Hello, May! 🌏☀️ Last Sat and Sun, we're at the SMDC Jazz Residence with my family for celebrating my little brother's birthday, and not to mention ME as a belated birthday! 😊🎁🎂🥳🎊 And I can't take snapshots without my two beloved paper dolls (that we all know)! 📸📲😊

IMPORTANT NOTE: No #OnThisDay throwback post for this date.

If you haven't seen my "Part 1" through "Part 4", then I'll provide some links down below: ↓ • Part 1 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 2 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 3 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 4 [May 18th, 2024]

As well as, my latest "Take a Taste" episode → [CLICK ME!].

So, without further ado, here's my last part ("Part 5") of our experience! 😊

110th to 117th Image(s) 📷📲: ↑

• The next day, after hours of hanging out, eating food, and not to mention celebrating our birthdays (between ME and my little brother), our spending time at the condo was out at noon (12:00 PM 🕛). As we prepare our bags and things, tidy things up, shut the lights, and close the door before we say "goodbye", we'll visit it, again. 🚪👋😊 Here are my last 9 snapshots, featuring a lobby's nice table and a comfy sofa with my paper dolls before we depart from the hotel. 🚶🚶‍♀️🧳🎒💼🏨 And that lead us to...

Overall:

• It was fun for a one-night staycation! While the condo was nice, clean, and nothing fancy around inside the condo in a good way, the only thing we liked about it was the pool itself. "Simplicity" makes us relax at the pool. As for their one-night price, it is cheap at a total of ₱15,000 💵 (roughly $258, as of 2024; ₱2,500 💵 [$43] per adult 👤), with the inclusion of a swimming pool package 💧🏊 that is something around ₱500 - ₱600 💵 (roughly $5 to $6, as of 2024). I'd say, this is A-Okay for us, and we would make another planned staycation, someday.😊👌

Well, that's the end of my topic! More adventures with my paper dolls, coming soon.😊

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oraclekleo · 10 months ago

Note

First of all Lemme mention it real quick I've already participated in the game, so I'd not be disappointed at all of you choose to not answer the question and prioritise others before me. This question is literally kind of making me feel dumb and excited too lol idk suddenly I'm being drawn to ask this question and dk why even tho my focus rn isn't even my love life, and i think ik enough about what I need to know but still this question is not leaving my mind. Okay sorry for my rant but still.

My big 3-Capricorn (sun), Virgo (moon), and Taurus (rising)

My question-"is there any message/advice my fs want to tell me right now!?"

My nickname-Jasmine :))

cards i choose-The Slavic Legends Tarot, The witch Oracle.

My mood board-

also a slight note; take care>33 sending in lots of love and good energy. I'm extremely greatful to have this opportunity and if you choose to answer any one of my asks I'm definitely really greatful for it too. As I've mentioned pls prioritise yourself first and rest well. Your readings are amazing tho and the cards don't even get me started on that they are just so pretty...😭

*feeling really selfish and annoying* I'll try not to participate in more games, as i think I've already had enough. 🧍🏻‍♀️

Thankyou so much!!!!! 🧿✨

Hello Jasmine!

I’m always happy to do a reading for you and it doesn’t really matter how many times you participate in the game. You can do so every other week, if that’s what you feel drawn to. 😀

Trust me! If I wanted to limit the participation, I would do it. I’m not really the type who wouldn’t be sure how to apply rules. 😂

I usually don’t really do Future Spouse readings because I don’t like the whole concept of fixing on some unknown person which you will meet in the future and who will miraculously sort your life out. I firmly believe we should enjoy the time we have here and now and that our happiness should be in our own hands and the power over it shouldn’t be just given to someone who can then withdraw it from us on a whim. But let’s try this because you said you are not fixing on the love life so I guess it can’t really throw you into a spiral of waiting for the Mr. or Mrs. Right. 😀

As usual with me, I attach the pics of the cards I pulled, in case they hold any special meaning for you.

Let’s have a look at your cards!

Cards: IX The Hermit, 2 of Cups, 5 of Coins, 6 of Cups (The Slavic Legends Tarot), 43. Tranquillity - Violet, 2. Communication - Pea (Green Witch Oracle)

Not gonna lie to you - It’s not exactly ace to get the Hermit card for any love related question. 😂 But then you also have the 2 of Cups… So let’s dive deeper into this!

Both the Oracle cards are connected with Venus and the sign of Pisces. And they both speak of deeper understanding and love. You might experience a gentle shift towards topics regarding love and relationships. They might not have been your priority in the past, maybe you simply didn’t feel ready for such pressure to be part of your life because relationships, especially the romantic ones can be very complex and difficult to navigate through. Recently, you might feel like your life has reached the kind of phase where you can start exploring this aspect as well. You might want to start on a more theoretical ground as the Hermit suggests. You might get interested in romantic literature, poetry, in romance focused tarot readings even. At this point you might really appreciate the purer and more vanilla type of love more, reading about mutual understanding and spiritual connection, rather than lust and desire. You might want to resist this wind of change for a little bit but it’s really not necessary. While you don’t need to solely focus on the topic, there’s really no harm in getting interested, in feeling more attuned with the romantic part of your soul. You can feel free to just browse and observe all the various kinds of romance that can become a part of your life. You might want to romanticise your everyday life, too. It can be anything from more romantic vibe decorations like champagne glass you can use for soda or water, to actually including date nights into your schedule. Those can be with your friends, family, or even with just yourself where you simply set the nice atmosphere with dinner and candles and then read a good book or watch a favourite movie. Or you might actually start dating a person. 😀 I sometimes tend to skip this option but it is perfectly normal and alright to actually date other people. 😂 Only make sure you are both communicating honestly and openly with each other. Don’t try to make them guess your thoughts. It always only leads to confusion and going back to the Hermit’s cave. 😜

Thank you so much for requesting the reading!

I'm always grateful for any feedback.

CLICK AND FEED SHELTER DOGS

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Thank you for reading!

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#oracle kleo #free tarot readings #free tarot #tarot messages #tarot #tarotblr #tarot blog #tarot games

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timesnew7 · 1 year ago

Text

Waiting in GP queues could be a thing of the past with 61% of people preferring to manage health at home

But almost half of UK consumers (43%) don’t know their vital signs, and 1 in 3 don’t know their ideal body temperatureKinetik Wellbeing launches health campaign to help educate the nation

Kinetik Wellbeing logoRedhill, UK; 29th March 2022: A survey of 2,000 consumers by Kinetik Wellbeing has revealed that the majority of people prefer to measure their health at home (61%) rather than a healthcare setting.However, when asked about ideal blood sugar and blood oxygen levels, 43% don’t know the answers. More concerningly, a third of us (35%) don’t know the ideal body temperature.1 in 4 people reported that they had been recommended the use of home medical devices by their GP, a growing phenomenon since the pandemic.When it comes to how the perceptions of home healthcare have changed in recent years, 76% believe home health monitoring to be more important since the pandemic. 68% are more likely to purchase a home healthcare device now compared to a few years ago.Dr. Katie Stephens, Resident GP at Kinetik Wellbeing, added: “Having done NHS GP work both pre- and post-pandemic, I can vouch for the reasons in-person appointments now take up much more time and need to be reserved for patients with conditions that can’t be managed remotely. The good news is that getting people interested in taking ownership of their health monitoring at home can actually be a good thing and doesn’t necessarily need medical expertise. By empowering people to actively monitor things like oxygen levels (especially during a Covid-19 infection) or blood pressure, we can help detect problems even before symptoms occur, leading to better outcomes for the individual and potentially reducing the strain on the NHS at the same time.”82% also admit to benefiting from access to more information about their readings. The top ways users understand their results currently include user manuals (65%), Google (44%), YouTube and other videos (33%), and social media (6%). To tackle misinformation and ensure that everyone knows their numbers, Kinetik Wellbeing is building a content and resource hub to empower users to understand their levels and what the results mean.James Grover, Director at Kinetik Wellbeing, commented: “It’s great to see people taking a real interest in their own health rather than relying on the public health services. However, if the numbers aren’t meaningful, then how can they do something about their findings? That’s why we have come together with leading medical practitioners to provide education and content to help people understand their readings. This will help to close the UK’s knowledge gap and empower people to self-monitor their health.”When asked why they were more likely to purchase a home healthcare device now, the top answers were the pandemic (59%) and existing health issues (22%). “The pandemic has undoubtedly made more people aware of the importance of monitoring their health at home, but knowing your numbers is important for everyone, whether they have an existing medical condition or feel fit and healthy” Grover concluded.To learn more about Kinetik Wellbeing, click here: https://www.kinetikwellbeing.com/.-END-About Kinetik Wellbeing Kinetik Wellbeing specialise in affordable, quality devices for monitoring and managing personal health from home. Founded in 2008, the company believes that everyone should have access to technology that helps them to stay healthy.Having partnered with some of the biggest online retailers and pharmacies such as Amazon, Boots, Tesco Pharmacy, Argos, Asda, Superdrug, Nuffield Health and St John’s Ambulance, Kinetik Wellbeing offers a range of healthcare products designed to support the public's health and give the ‘Power to You’.Find out more: https://timesnews7.com Read the full article

#chrissymetzweightloss #diettips #health #healthtips #Home #loseweightfast #manage #people #preferring #queues #rebelwilsonweightloss #Waiting #weightlose #weightlossdiet #weightlosstips

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i-writes-things · 3 years ago

Text

Family Dinner.

Peter Parker x Teen!reader

Summary- Y/n skips family dinner to hang out with a good friend

Warnings- Swearing

Extra Pairings::

Natasha x Adopted!daughter!reader

Not my Gif*

--------------------------------------------------------

Unless you had schoolwork, you attended family dinner. This had been common knowledge from the second you were adopted.

You had never thought anything would happen if you did, but you didn't dare try it out, until....

[5:46]

"What's the plan for dinner?" Tony's voice rang through the silent room, except for Vision and Wanda quiet talking

"So, take-out? Come on guys I need verbal agreement here!" He joked aloud to the few people that were in the kitchen with him

"Hazzah!" Came Thor voice from the next room, as he walked in

"So? Yes?" Tony ask confused

"Yes! Hazzah!" Thor exclaims "On my planet 'Hazzah' has the same effect as 'yes' " He laughs

While everyone was probably getting ready for dinner you had homework.

Ew homework, but it had to be done so why not skip dinner, Sam and Bucky always annoy you about boys anyway...

After 2 full pages of math, and a way too in-depth question about your summer reading book, you had finish homework for the day

Finally being done with school work, you walked over to check your phones few notifications

[Peter Parker - Hey, I am not going to dinn... 5:56]

[Mom - Y/n/n, dinner will be here in 30 mi... 5:43]

[Reminder - FAMILY DINNER (seeing pet... 4:00]

Clicking on Peter's text and unlocking your phone you see why he was not going to dinner

Peter Parker: Hey, I am not going to dinner. Mr Stark asked if I would do patrol tonight. Of course I couldn't say no to him, I'll see you after school tomorrow!

You texted him back

Y/n: Come by the Tower real quick. My room.

He texts you back a few minutes later

Peter Parker: Ok, I can't stay long.

Y/n: Neither can I.

You get up off your bed and pack your school things back into your already heavy backpack, as it is leaned against the wall you hear a tapping from behind you

'That was fast' You thought

---

After Peter had climbed through the window and took his Spiderman mask off, you finally spoke

"Hey" "Hiya" Peter responded happily

"How's Patrol?" "Eh, not much, I did save someone's pet snake though, named fluffy, so theres that." He responds awkwardly

"oh, well fluffy is a good name." You say trying to keep the conversation moving

"Yup." He says

You notice Peter nervously looking all around your room

"So what's it like on Patrol?" You had never been, per your mother's request

Peter finally looked at you "Oh uh, usually alot of waiting around, stopping crimes, um.." He stopped in thought "Once I took a photo with a little kid, and another time I got someone there bike back! I usually just swing around til I find someone to help!" He says happily to you

You smile at him slightly "Well, that sounds fun"

"Yeah you should go sometime" Peter suggests causally

"Really?" "Yeah." "What about right now?"

His eyes go a little wide and a small smile grows on his face, as he stumbles his words "Y- yeah- Of course, I mean, what about your mom?"

You shrug your shoulders "She doesn't need to know.." Peter gives you a confused look

"Um, are you sure?" He asks

You look at him a little annoyed "Yes. Come on we'll be back before Dinner even starts.."

----

[6:04]

Natasha walked into the room and sat next to Steve. While Bruce, Tony, Wanda, Vision, Thor and Sam were already there, all sitting and talking in the living room right next to the kitchen

"What are we getting for dinner?" Natasha quietly asks Steve

"Chinese, where is Y/n?" Steve asks her, putting his arm around Nat

"Homework, she should be down soon. I texted her about dinner." She answers him and slightly leans into his touch

-----

"woohooo..." You shout as your grip on peters neck tightened. The rush of the wind flew past you both so fast you could barely hear your own voice, let alone the traffic below you both

Peter zigzagged between buildings and swung fast through the opening in the middle of one especially tall building

"aaahhh" You felt your heart drop every time Peter let go of a web before shooting a new one

The adrenaline rush made the trip a little less stressful but it was quite fun while it lasted

All of a sudden all the motion had stopped and Peter was setting you down back on your feet. You both stood on top of a tall building, looking out you could see everything from there, the Avengers Tower still in sight, on the other side of New York City, The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty in the green water straight ahead and the setting sun from across the water

"woah.." Was the only thing you could say, that was the only thing that came to your mind

"Right," Peter said looking out on the setting sun with all the beautiful colors that came with it

You both shared the nice moment together, looking out on the beautiful view, light wind blowing behind you and Peter, you had never really looked at sky too much, but now you wanted to forget about dinner and look at sunset for the rest of the night

"I love it up here," He says looking out on the view and moving his eyes to land on you "with you.." Peter said sincerely

"What..?" You asked him confused

Peter, after finally registering what he had just said tries to cover it all up "Well I just mean't- You and I- It's nice to, to share the view with someone else.." He said awkwardly slow, looking anywhere but you

You looked away in shock

------

[6:12]

Tony gets up to go pay for dinner down in the lobby, as Bucky and Thor walked back in laughing there heads off

"What's so funny, you old farts?" Sam asks them both

"Thor, if I can ask, where have you gone off too? You were here earlier, agreeing with Mr. Stark about dinner." Vision asks him inquisitively

Thor looks over at him slightly confused and them remembers quickly

"Ah! Yes I was told to go and fetch Mr Silver Arm over here!" He exclaims with a chuckle and puts a friendly arm around Bucky, pulling him into a slight choke hold

Bucky looks at him and just starts laughing harder and Thor follows his actions quickly laughing

"What's so funny, meatheads?" Sam asks them again

Thor finally stops enough to explain to Sam

"We have just witnessed a great humorous experience!"

"About what?" Bruce asks him

"Sir Clint is unable to leave one of the Air Ventilation units" Thors gives a loud laugh

"So he got himself stuck?" Natasha asks him almost concerned

"Yes, M'lady Natasha, He is quite stuck in the Air Ventilation. Drinks anyone?" Thors asks the room happily

Natasha however stands up hurriedly to go help her friend

"I'm going to find that Idiot.." Natasha said lovely to Steve, leaving the room, abandoning him on the couch

-------

"I guess we should be getting back.." Peter says feeling embarrassed

You look back over at him "Are you sure? We have at least 10 more minutes, dinner is always later than whatever Tony usually says it is.." You say quickly trying to give Peter a point to sat a few more minutes

He nods and turns away from you walking to the other side of the buildings edge

You look back towards the setting sun trying to think of something you could say, to make him understand

"Peter." He turned and you were already looking at him

"I love it up here too, with you.." You said sincerely to him and you swear you could see his stature change as he slowly walked back to you

"really..?" He asked quietly

You give him a small smile and nodded

--------

[6:27]

"Have you guys seen Y/n?" Wanda asked the room after coming back from the bathroom

"The better question is, where is Peter... and Y/n?" Bucky asks inappropriately

Wanda rolls her eyes and Steve gets defensive

"Hey, Nat told me she was doing Homework. Peter wouldn't-" Tony cut Steve off

"Peter, actually is on Patrol for me, right about now.." Tony said defended the kids honor, as he walked in holding three large bags of Chinese food

"Well, either way, someone needs to let Y/n know that dinner is here" Wanda speaks up again

Steve starts to stand, when Natasha walks in with Clint in front of her "I'll go get Y/n, and Clint get yourself some water you Idiot." She glanced over at Steve and smiled then turned right back around to walk up to your room

"She's been calling me 'Idiot' since she found me" Clint comments

"That's because you are one, you Idiot." Bucky says steadily

Clint gives him a chuckle and heads for the Kitchen

---------

You lean away from Peter catching his eye "Your a good kisser, Parker" He smiled and responded "I know"

"what time is it?" You ask casually "6:40" "6:40?!" You almost shouted stepping away from him

"What?!" Peter asked in a panic

"What do you mean 'What?' I'm gonna be late! Now lets go!" You said in a panic

The swing home was less fulled with excitement and more fulled with stress and anxiety

It was [7:00] by the time you got back to the Tower and after deciding that Peter really needed to get back to Patrol, he just let you go in at the lobby

----------

[7:02]

The slow ride up the elevator to the Kitchen and the Living room was nerve racking the floors flew by way to fast

When it struck [Floor 25] you took a deep breath in and out as the sliding doors opened and you walked out, quickly running down the small hall and ever faster past the open doorway to the Kitchen/Living room trying to figure out what to do, obviously doing it the wrong way

"What was that?" Clint asks pointing with his knife towards the doorway suspiciously

"Hey- Was that Y/n?" Steve asks as he gets up from his dinner, making Natasha perk up and follows him out into the hall

You continue to run down the long hall not sure what to do

"Y/n." Natasha said your name sternly

You came to a halt a little ways down the hall and turned around slowly looking at her

"Hi mom" You said weakly

"Don't 'hi mom' me, where the hell have you been?" She crosses her arms over her chest "I was worried Y/n." She stared at you, walking over nearer to you

Steve decides that he should leave the two of you alone and goes back to his dinner

There was no chance in making up an excuse now

"I may or may not have gone on Patrol with Peter for a little while." You said quietly now looking at the ground

You could hear Natasha take a deep breath in and out

"And you didn't think it was necessary to let your mother know where you were going?" She asks you a little louder than you were talking before

"no." You felt embarrassed and wanted to leave

"Well then, I don't think you should be leaving the Tower til you understand that, while you live here, I need to know where you are going off too. Ok?"

You nod, feeling defeated

"I just don't want something to happen to you, Y/n. You know that many people could be after-"

"I know." You say flatly, unconsciously cut her off, she had told you that maybe a thousand times by now

"Ok, good." Her tone changes "Do you want some dinner?" She asks you softly

You take a moment but finally slowly nod Yes

"C'mere.." She says quietly and pulls you into a tight hug

You put your head in the crook in her neck, draping your arms around her neck

"I'm sorry." You finally say after a few moments

Natasha kisses your head "I know, I know.." She says softly as she sways the both you side to side

"Love you, Y/n."

"Love you."

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morguemaw · 2 years ago

Note

1. I saw an ad for burial plots, but that’s the last thing I need.

2. Did you hear about the silk worm race? It ended in a tie.

3. I got fired from the calendar factory, just for taking a day off.

4. Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? A: Well, the flag is a big plus.

5. Clones are people two.

6. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

7. Napoleon may not have designed his coat, but he did have a hand in it.

8. I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my house. My neighbor is dead against it.

9. What are windmills’ favorite genre of music? They’re big metal fans.

10. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

11. Shopping centers, you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the mall.

12. My ceiling isn’t the best, but it’s up there.

13. I love whiteboards. They’re re-markable.

14. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? AIreland. Every day it’s Dublin.

15. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working. It doesn’t make any cents.

16. I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.

17. I went to a new mechanic. They came highly wreck-a-mended.

18. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

19. Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester.

20. Why can’t you run through a campground? You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

21. Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

22. Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his potion pot and his best friend? They’re both cauld ron.

23. An atom lost an electron. It really should keep an ion them.

24. What’s the best time on a clock? 6:30, hands down.

25. Please don’t make my funeral too early. I’m not really a mourning person.

26. I got fired from the bank. A man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over.

27. Why did the lizard say he named his baby “Tiny?” Because he’s my newt.

28. Someone stole the police station’s toilets. They have nothing to go on.

29. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

30. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? Attire.

31. What does C.S. Lewis keep in his wardrobe? Narnia business.

32. I put all my cash into an origami business. It folded.

33. I was worried about being in a long-distance relationship. But so far so good.

34. I suffer from kleptomania. But I take something for it.

35. I’m afraid of negative numbers. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

36. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

37. Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

38. I quit my job at the donut factory. I was fed up with the hole business.

39. I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

40. RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

41. Why did the monk refuse novocaine when he had his tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

42. Just found out sticks float. They would.

43. My boat was cold, I tried to make a fire but it sank. I guess you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

44. I went to that new restaurant, Karma. There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.

45. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.

46. You can’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

47. I met a criminal with a bounty on his head. That was a weird place to keep paper towels.

48. A psychic tried to sell me information on my past lives. I hate used karma dealers.

49. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

50. I met my wife on a dating site. We just clicked.

51. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

52. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me. It means a lot.

53. My roommates suspect I’m stealing their kitchen utensils. But that’s a whisk i’m willing to take.

54. I’m going to try velcro instead of shoe laces. Why knot?

55. I decided to get rid of my spine. It was holding me back.

56. Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

57. Knowing how to pick locks has opened a lot of doors for me.

58. No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

59. Architects are good at coming up with concrete plans.

60. I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

61. Who designed King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference.

62. What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws? He was given two consecutive sentences.

63. I recently took a pole and found out 100% of campers were angry when their tent collapsed.

64. I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang. Eventually it came back to me.

65. A friend said he didn’t understand cloning. I told him that makes two of us.

66. I had a pun about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.

67. Santa Claus’s elves are subordinate clauses.

68. I’m designing a reversible jacket. I’m excited to see how it turns out.

69. A man went to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is stable.

70. To the guy who invented Zero, thanks for nothing!

71. There’s a new type of broom out. It’s sweeping the nation.

72. I tried to draw a circle, but it was pointless.

73. Getting paid to sleep would be my dream job.

74. There’s a fine line between numerator and denominator.

75. Velcro… what a rip-off.

76. I gave away my dead batteries, no charge.

77. One-fifth of people are just too tense.

78. After the birth of your child, your role in life will become apparent.

79. A backwards poet writes inverse.

80. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

81. My kid swallowed some coins, the doctor told me to just wait. No change yet.

82. My friend’s bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.

83. You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.

84. I’m glad I learned sign language. It’s really handy.

85. Bad gardeners are rough around the hedges.

86. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

87. This girl thought she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’ve never met herbivore.

88. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.

89. Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He’s all right now.

90. I make apocalypse puns like there’s no tomorrow.

91. A cartoonist was found dead. Details are sketchy.

92. I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it faster. It just got more sluggish.

93. Life as a professional yo-yoer has its ups and downs.

94. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

95. My wife told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn’t 1 2.

96. I failed my Braille class. It’s a touchy subject.

97. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.

98. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

99. My leaf blower doesn’t work, it just sucks.

100. Need an ark? I Noah guy.

101. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

Suffer

i wish to shit on your computer.

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stabbysideblog · 4 years ago

Text

BBH’s Prison visit (scene-by-scene)

(To make things easier I’m going to put the timestamp for the END of each scene I talk about)

Link to the vod

Very long post warning! This is going to center on Dream so if you aren’t into that don’t click the read more.

28:46 - Bbh comes up to Dream and even walks past him a bit before Dream turns and starts moving again. This is our first sign of him being spacey. After he says hello he takes a deep breath. This sounds like the type of breath you take to calm down.

29:14 - We can hear how Dream’s voice is different even from the last time we heard him. To make sure I checked Tommy’s vod and it is completely different. He speaks slower, with more spaces, less enunciation, sometimes there’s a slight slurr to his voice. Bbh asks how he’s doing and he replies and goes to spin his clock. I don’t know how intentional this is but BBH asks what he’s doing and Dream stops and looks at the floor instead of at BBH.

29:33 - Bbh asks if spinning his clock is what Dream does in his free time and Dream says yes. He used to write but he burned a lot of his books. He doesn’t say why. We can assume based off what he said he doesn’t write anymore. That means all he has to do is spin his clock round and round. After BBH opens the chest 6 spaces are empty. One book is on the lectern. He assumedly burnt all the books Tommy made him write. Why? He never elabirates on this so we don’t know

29:52 - Bbh asks if Dream likes it in here and Dream takes almost 3 seconds to respond. He describes it as “really good”. Before while bbh is talking about the cell he doesn’t say anything. He looks at the lava but doesn’t move towards it.

30:11 - Dream talks about how he gets potatoes :] But they’re raw :[. He goes close to the lava but comes back to talk to bad. Also whenever he walks he runs. Dream is notoriously very active, he bounces around he can’t do that in the cell so instead he runs from place to place. “he said he- I tried to get out and so he made it so I couldn’t have visitors for a few days but” He completely drops the potatoes conversation to say that then drops this conversation.

30:47 - Bbh tells Dream that he’s done bad things that got him in there. Dream doesn’t argue he simply repeats “that’s true”. He also says he gets to “think and think and think... and play with my clock”. In that sentence he looks at the damage pot dispenser then plays with his clock.

31:36 - When Bbh asks if Dream wants to hear what’s going on outside he perks up somewhat and asks how George and Sapnap are doing. He remarks after bbh says they probably miss that they haven’t visited him. He then makes a reason for it because there were a few days he couldn’t get visitors. Bbh accidentally rubs in that they haven’t come by at all and Dream goes and spins his clock for 31:24 - 31:33. He says nothing in this time, then he asks what’s happening outside.

32:41 - While bbh talks about that’s going on outside Dream spins his clock, he stops to chuckle at what Tommy’s up to. Bad says he’s sure a lot of people miss Dream while Dream is turned around and Dream snaps to attention looking at bad. He laughs at Techno “still doing the whole anarchy thing” then asks for a 3rd time what is happening outside. He goes back to spinning his clock while Bbh talks. At this point it’s very obvious how much Dream uses the clock. It’s like he relies on it.

33:28 - Bbh talks to Dream about the egg. He simply says “I remember the egg” and “that’s intresting” before going back and spinning his clock. “I don’t really have anything else other than the clock”. That’s sadly true. As far as he knows everyone hates him, he’s lost everything. The only thing he has left is his clock. Bbh asks if he’s named it and he has but he doesn't want too say the name. Instead of that he just keeps spinning it.

34:29 - Dream takes out at book and starts writing in it. Bbh asks what he’s writing but Dream doesn't reply simply giving bad the completed book. It’s titled “thank you!” and the inside says “thank you for visiting me badboyhalo!” Dream tells bad he won’t be able to take it out. Bbh says that once Dream gets out he can take it with him. Dream doesn't reply and spins his clock. If you haven’t noticed how much he uses this clock you’re blind. He says that his sentence is forever when bad asks. “Forevers not that long” Way to rub it in bad. At least Dream chuckles a little.

35:40 - Bad tells him he likes what he’s done with the place before realizing how that sounds. Dream moves his clock to the other side of the room. “I like to watch it and then when it hits halfway *pause* then *pause* then I’m happy”. Note that in this chunk Dream is particularly bad at replying to bbh. They watch the clock move together. Dream says that it was “awesome” he seems to not have been the biggest fan of redecotaring because he moves his clock back to it’s original location.

36:43 - Dream makes a sound like when you are sad and have to take a breath before you start crying. He says that he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do. Bad mentions that Dream has a heat source. From that we can assume that Dream’s tiny prison is pretty darn hot. He also asks how long he’e been in there suggesting that he has lost track of time. That’s pretty common in people who are in solitary confinement. Bad gives a timeline of a few weeks to 2 weeks. For reference the United Nations says solitary confinement for more than 15 days is torture.

37:20 - Bad asks who’s come and visit Dream, Dream says only Tommy and bbh is surprised. Dream remarks that “he’s the only one actually, until you” and goes to stand close to the lava. He goes close to it a second time while he justifies no one visiting by saying there’s limited visiting hours and overtime more people will (come visit).

38:18 - Dream tells bbh about the #epic prank he does on Sam where he burns his clock so he can see Sam and say hi. The clock that he’s spent most of his visit spinning. So he can see someone else. I wonder if Sam decided not to give Dream another clock what else he would do to get Sam to visit. Bbh asks if he gets in trouble for burning his clock and Dream says sometimes he gets less potatoes.

"oh so he starves you"

"no I'm not s- I dunno- I wouldn't say I'm starving but-"

"you have 3 square meals a day?"

"........... i have potatoes"

The concerning parts are how much he stumbles over his words and the I wouldn’t say I’m starving. What would you say you are then?

39:38 - Dream chuckles and throws his clock into lava. It’s gone now. Let’s see if he acts any different. Dream moves around a bunch while talking about what will happen later, you can hear his chuckle and smile at his ‘prank’. Dream tells bad that Sam is going to make a system so that the potatoes are dropped in so he doesn't have to see him to give him potatoes. Bbh says that he should keep sam from doing it because doesn’t it brighten his day? Dream admits it does but everything here is automated so it’ll make it better. Bbh asks if awesamdude treats Dream well and Dream says he does while he keeps glancing at the lava.

40:28 - Dream sniffles and tells bbh that it’s fine in here. He has his clock and his book and,,, he’s happy in here...right? He finishes off that sentence by sniffling and clearing his throat. All signs point to him not being happy in here. Where before he would spin his clock now he,,,, tries not to cry. Bbh asks if he’s allowed to have anything else, Dream tells him he can ask. While bbh talks about how maybe he could get a potted plant he sniffles again. Dream is obviously upset but he does as Dream does and says he’s okay and things are fine.

42:00 - Bbh asks who Dream wants to come visit him, he says that he wants george and sapnap to come visit him. Bbh accidentally makes it sound like they don’t want to visit Dream, he says that they probably just need to be reminded that Dream is available for visitors. Dream takes 4 seconds to reply and it’s just a sad “yea”. Bbh tells him to look on the bright side and Dream just looks at the floor. I think that he knows that George and Sapnap don’t like/hate him. He also takes awhile to reply to Bbh saying that he’s been on good behavior right? If that’s because he hasn’t or because Sam’s idea of good behavior is hard for Dream we don’t know.

42:51 - Dream throws himself into lava and Bbh reacts with horror yelling at him what is he doing? He says that sometimes he swims in there. What exactly made him decide to swim in the lava? Maybe him remembering how he he lost his friends, maybe him realizing he’ll never be free, maybe he was bored? We don’t know. What we do know is in this cell healthy coping mechanisms do not exist. They aren’t allowed to exist by nature of it. He tells bab that going into the lava keeps him entertained and sometimes he likes to set himself on fire with it. He demonstrates this and while bad asks if it’s a prank he just chuckles. This demonstrates how in the cell he’s willing to put himself physically into harms way for any more stimulation. It’s sad honestly.

44:12 - Dream says that bbh’s time is probably almost up and thanks him for visiting him. Bbh says he wants to get Dream a pet and improve his living conditions. Dream talks about how long it takes to break a block, he once sat there for over 20 minutes with basically no progress. He helped design the prison and knows that if he broke a block the guard would be teleported in (and kill him). He realizes if bbh becomes a guard it could be a way to get him to come visit him :D he’ll simply punch a block for hours until it breaks so the people tasked to kill him can be there. Dream is desperate for human contact. He realizes that would make awesam really mad and he doesn’t want to do that.

44:35 - Bbh says maybe he can get his sentence commuted from forever to 10 or 20 years. Dream says he’d like that if he has good behavior. I can’t help but feel noones idea of good behavior is lining up. Sam wants to think and see Dream as little as possible. Dream, I don’t know what Dream considers good behavior. Bbh sees good behavior as not trying to escape or messing with anything. Bbh says he doesn't wanna get Dream’s hopes but but Dream should look in the bright side. Dream sniffles and clears his throat. As this goes on it gets harder for him to not cry it seems. Bad tells Dream to look on the bright side and Dream says alright in a way that obviously suggests he wont.

45:43 - Bad says that he’ll come visit Dream again really soon. He says he’ll bring George and Sapnap, Dream reminds him only 1 person can visit at a time. Bad says then he’ll schedule for them to visit. Bbh alost saays that they need to visit their friend but instead says they need to visit you (Dream) instead. From Dream’s POV this celents that they don’t care for him anymore. Bbh ends his visit and Dream somehow sounds more dejected than ever.

50:42 - Sam while HOLDING a clock says that he might not give Dream a new clock. It also doesn’t matter whether Dream knows if it’s daytime or not. Bbh seems to have picked up how important the clock is to Dream. Sam also asks if Dream “said anything(????)” while he was in there. He also says that Dream swims in a lot a lot and usually he just wants attention. Sam also says with the way Dream has been acting that he probably won’t get his sentence commuted.

Overall very concerning! From the way Dream relied on an inanimate object and the moment it was he started sniffling, to how he talked and sounded different, to how he swims in lava and sets himself on fire for fun, to how he’s starved if he misbehaves, to how he was spaced out and slow to respond. This all paints a picture of someone not doing well but pretending he isn’t. If he were to not get a new clock, and sam installs the automated potatoes machine I feel like he would get worse much faster. Unless bbh gets on that prison reform fast it’s not looking good for him. Not even getting on how the warden of the prison hates his guts.

#dreamwastaken #dsmp #dsmpblr #badboyhalo #awesamdude #dream smp #dsmp tumblr #pandora's vault #warden sam #dream #prison arc #issa me post

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years ago

Text

for @bend-me-shape-me 's SPN advent calendar 2020. prompt: phone calls and late night texts.

Cas isn't a serial texter.

And Dean's a-okay with it.

But for all that's worth, they sure seem to have a ridiculous amount of emotionally significant conversations via, or starting off as, texts. And most often, in the middle of the night.

>>> hello, dean. [12:07 am]

Dean jolts up at the sound, realizing he fell asleep still wearing his headphones, with the laptop on his lap (and a new episode of The Good Place playing) and rolls his eyes at himself, hitting pause before he can see what’s happening (because he has good reflexes, and because screw spoilers that’s why) and rummaging for his phone.

At this hour of the night, it has to be something important.

It doesn’t really strike him that Mechanical Engineering majors whose only other selfprofessed skill is air guitar aren't exactly the frontline warriors for midnight emergencies.

Cas's name shows up when he squints at the too-bright screen, and he sits up a little straighter.

<<< hey [12:09 am]

<<< you OK? [12:09 am]

The response is immediate.

>>> do you have peanut butter? [12:09 am]

And as if it's an afterthought, Cas adds.

>>> yes, I'm fine. how are you? [12:10 am]

Dean blinks.

<<< peachy. peanut butter? [12:10 am]

At least this time the response takes a while. Dean wonders if Cas realized it was midnight, and not exactly a time to run inventory on your best friend's stash of condiments.

>>> I ran out. [12:12 am]

Dean sighs, unable to help smiling.

It's not like he's a stranger to Cas's weird cravings when he's high. (There'd been this one time with pie and a traumatized Gas 'N Sip cashier that still sits heavy on Dean's conscience.) But he doesn't think Cas is supposed to be high right now — Dean's usually either invited or informed by an unspoken rule — which just means this is regular "jelly, not jam"-Cas, at his core a weird, persistently sleep-deprived economics major and astronomy nerd, that Dean may or may not have had a crush on for an embarrassingly long time, and who's also prone to grammatically perfect texting, deadpan, Disney references, and bluntness when the occasion calls for it.

<<< pretty sure i have some [12:14 am]

>>> :) [12:14 am]

>>> I'm coming over [12:14 am]

And weird as it may sound, that had turned out to be the night Cas told him he was gay. Said it had been a revelating moment, unprecedented and wholly unexpected — and apparently revelations come in pairs because it had been followed by an intense need for peanut butter, and the rest, he explained emphatically, was history.

Dean had just snorted, congratulated him, and brought out the fancier plates for sandwiches — shipped in from home instead of a sale at Target — all the while, repeating to himself in a loop, that this changed nothing between them, nothing at all, and Cas having the capacity to be attracted back to him didn't mean that he ever would be (or for hell's sake, he'd scoffed at his traitorous chick-flick-nonsense brain, is.)

The second time had been early — way, way too early and it was by pure chance that Dean was awake to respond at six friggin' am on a Sunday. Like, that’s practically nighttime.

Goddamn stupidly-fit running-freak.

Dean picks up his phone blearily, tongue in cheek as he clicks on it.

>>> I miss you [6:28 am]

>>> I'd* miss you [6:29 am]

Dean's stomach twists, and he's not sure if it's in a good way, or a bad way, or what-the-sincere-fuck-are-you-talking-about way.

<<< what [6:32 am]

<<< wtf are you talking about? [6:32 am]

Nothing.

<<< cas? [6:33 am]

<<< dude [6:34 am]

<<< cas???? [6:34 am]

Dean swears at his screen, more queasy than irritated. He can't stop fidgeting, so gives up on lying down altogether and hoists himself to his feet. Better to get his friggin' toothbrush since he's already up, and now definitely awake. Cas was so paying for this later.

He comes back, mouth mint-fresh in theory but still tasting awful and of fear and dread, and practically sags when he sees his screen blare with two messages from Cas.

>>> sorry, I had to make a call. [6:42 am]

>>> I'm not taking the job. [6:42 am]

And that's how Dean finds out about Michael (Cas's oldest brother, entitled asshole) inviting Cas to join his and Lucifer's (second oldest, bag of dicks) firm the year he graduates — invite, of course, being a loosely used word here for expecting it blindly (out of some crap he calls 'loyalty') and being readily willing to manipulate him into it.

And it's how he finds out that Cas turned them down.

"It's not who I am anymore." Cas had repeated, third time probably, and surer than before, and Dean had nodded earnestly before realizing Cas couldn't see him through the phone, and humming his affirmation instead. "And if I go back there, I'm never getting out again."

Dean'd swallowed.

"I don't want to." Cas had said, voice trembling. "I am — my own person here. It shouldn't be like this but this is the first time I have autonomy, Dean. Here is free will, and here are you. I don't — I can't. I'm not going to let them take it away."

"Good." He'd sounded shaky to even himself. "Don't."

"Yes." Cas had promised. "I'm not going."

And eventually they'd moved past the heavy talk into why-didn't-I-hear-about-this-before territory, Dean being righteously annoyed at his best friend for keeping something so huge from him, and Cas making lame (but probably valid) excuses in the name of not knowing how to explain the situation until he knew himself what he was going to do, because Dean may've been the first person he'd confided in about the insane fuckery that been his childhood and adolescence, but that still didn't mean he'd understand this, broken and convoluted.

And then Cas had nicely segued himself out of Dean's target of irritation and added, "They asked Gabriel too, by the way."

"And?" Dean didn't ever have much care for Gabriel (third oldest brother, cares about Cas, still a jerk) but Cas shared an apartment with him, so he had to face him plenty.

"He's running off to Miami."

And Dean had thrown his head back and laughed until Cas had smoothly added, "And I was wondering if you would consider moving in with me."

At which point, of course, he'd started coughing instead, because holy shit, it actually made sense (Sammy had left for Stanford two months back, and Dean lived alone in a space that had probably been two big even when there were two of them) and might actually happen, but Dean wasn't really sure how much longer he'd be able to hide his crush, sharing a friggin' kitchen with the guy.

The third time's after their first date.

(Because, well. It happened.

It happened with Dean leaning across the breakfast table to prove to Cas his bacon was superior (to cookie friggin' crunch, because goddamn is Cas a dork) and Cas taking a bite with their eyes fixed on each other's, and Dean turning red when Cas licked his lips and then, just like that, Cas swearing under his breath (definitely filed for later pondering, that bit), grabbing Dean, and kissing the living daylights out of him.

And Dean had kissed back with everything he had, hands cupping his face, and nearly melting in his arms - but then they'd separated for air and Cas had had an apologetic look on his face and when Dean had tried to lean in to kiss it away, he'd received half a smile and a shake of his head.

"Let's do it the way we're supposed to."

And Dean had known immediately what he'd meant. Let's not fuck this up by becoming best friends and roommates who sleep together. Let's...play safe.

"Okay. Uh," he'd rubbed the back of his neck. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Thursday." Cas had promised with twinkling eyes, though Dean had already known he was going to say that since he knew Cas’s week at least as well as he knew his own, and two days and an anxious half of a thursday later, they went on their first date. Burgers and beer, and Led Zepp, and hands held in the Impala. Four hours later, they were back, and in their respective rooms, and Dean couldn't stop thinking about Cas.)

When his phone vibrates, Dean reaches for the bedside table.

It's at least midnight, it feels like he's been in bed for ages, and the only reason he isn't asleep is because all his brain seems to be capable of at the moment is thinking endlessly about the date. Fortunately, he's not the only one — although he's better at hiding it (practise, he'd say) because his heart is in his mouth the moment he reads Cas's text.

>>> I think I'm falling in love with you [11:43 pm]

>>> already. [11:43 pm]

Dean is very grateful for autocorrect as he types back with too-excited thumbs and a racing heart.

<<< so much for doing it the regular way cas mosby [11:44 pm]

>>> in my defense, it's been years. [11:44 pm]

<<< that part i get [11:44 pm]

<<< me too [11:44 pm]

<<< but youre supposed to wait three days before calling dumbass [11:45 pm]

Jesus, he'd never expected to blush cause of texts, but here they are.

>>> I'm texting. [11:46 pm]

And he guesses he'd never expected to giggle (he's alone there, sue him) cause of them either, but Cas apparently exists to prove him wrong about himself.

<<< good for you [11:46 pm]

He sends, biting his lip, and then lies in the silent darkness for a couple of minute, devoid of text notifications entirely, thinking uneasily — before he gives up.

They're idiots, sure, but nobody is this dumb.

<<< so when the fuck are you coming over then [11:50 pm]

>>> on my way <3 [11:50 pm]

And thinking about the lightening speed of that reply and the fucking heart emoji is enough to sustain him the entire one minute it takes Cas to get there, gently opening Dean's door, and climbing into bed — fitting in Dean's space like it's been made for him, and kissing him in greeting after leaving his phone on the table next to Dean's.

As it goes, with the confessions and the midnight cravings (and the grocery lists that keep getting piled onto through the day, and random pickup lines Cas decides are perfect to send Dean daily once he's found a website for puns, courtesy of Claire, and of course, pictures of Grease, which clog Dean's cloud in dozens whenever the ridiculously cute cat does something even slightly out of routine, god bless her lazy soul) Cas might just be a texter.

But Dean's pretty sure he's more than okay with it, so it doesn't really matter.

#spnadventcalendar2020 #destiel #destiel college au #casdean #dean is bi #texting fic #destiel fluff #best friends to lovers #+ roommates :))#deancas au #young dean winchester #young castiel #bluefirecas #rambleoncas #tearsofgrace #userpris #oh writing my writing #i had fun writing this :)#college aus almost feel like my roots at this point

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dollystuartwrites · 1 year ago

Text

Stray Gods - Chapter 45

Pairing: Gods!OT8 x !F!Reader Genre: romance, friends to lovers, polyamory, mystery, supernatural, angst, fluff, smut Wordcount: 2713 Chapters: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] [11] - [12] - [13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [18] - [19] - [20] [21] - [22] - [23] - [24] - [25] - [26] - [27] - [28] - [29] - [30] [31] - [32] - [33] - [34] - [35] - [36] - [37] - [38] - [39] - [40] [41] - [42] - [43] - [44] - [45] - [?] MASTERLIST Summary: With no memory of who you were, you wake up in the woods, only to be found by eight unusually handsome men. With no information of the past, the guys decide to take you in and take care of you for the time being. But that time becomes years, and as time passes, you start to notice that there is something different about them... and something different about you... Warnings: angst, praise, thigh riding, kissing, fingering, overstimulation, lovebites, bad/miscommunication, low self-esteem, swearing, name-calling, dry humping, college, degradation, gods, special powers, vaginal sex, oral sex (f&m), mentions of contraception (condoms&thepill), injuries, mentions of death (but no character deaths), virgin!reader, teasing, orgasms, poly relationship, semi-public sex, daddy kink, strength kink, grinding, I've probably forgotten some, so let me know if I did and I will add more as the story progresses. Taglist: @eastleighsblog @tangerminie @swittyregan @septicrebel @jiimout @zandra-42@julciaqwerty @vampcharxter @mercurezed @thatgirlangelb @cookiemonstermusic258 @stayconnecteed @bubblelixie Want to be added or did I miss you? Just send me an ASK or DM

Lots of love and many thanks to my beta’s from wattpad: rocker7898 and sydneye2411. You guys made my writing so much better <3

You yawned as you shuffled sleepily into the living room on Friday morning.

‘Morning cutie,’ Minho said, being the first to notice you. He came over to stroke your hair with his free hand. In his other hand, he was holding a pan with Pajeon in it, which he then brought over to the sleepy faces that were already sitting at the table. Chan’s eyes were barely open as you walked in. You guessed they had been closed until Minho had spoken to you. Hyunjin’s face had been resting in his hands but he looked up as you came in. Changbin was leaning on the chairs’ hindlegs, scrolling through his phone with one hand as his other played with a strand of his dark hair. Jeongin was standing in the kitchen, which was unusual as Minho normally wouldn’t let anyone near him whenever he was cooking. He must’ve been helping cook.

You greeted them all with a yawn and walked over to your favorite spot. Chan had already pulled back his chair, his arms stretched out for you as you crawled onto his lap.

‘Morning sleepyhead,’ he mumbled groggily as he wrapped his arms around you, planting a kiss on the top of your head.

Changbin let his chair back on all fours as Minho handed him his breakfast.

‘So are you ready for your trip?’ He asked, being the most awake of all of them, except for the cooks, maybe. You nodded eagerly, feeling slightly more awake as you thought about it. You had been looking forward to it so much. Not just going back to Jeju, but spending some quality time with Seungmin as well.

Hyunjin shifted in his chair, blinking a few times and sitting upright, suddenly looking more awake.

‘Oh right, that’s today,’ he said, smiling at you. ‘I do recommend you take some stuff with you to entertain yourself. Our starboy can really get a little too nerdy with his work,’ he said, clicking his tongue and pulling a face.

A loud whooshing sound came so unexpectedly and gave you such a start that you swung your arms around Chan’s neck and buried your face between his chest muscles. You could hear Hyunjin let out a shriek and both Changbin and Minho swore loudly.

‘I heard that,’ Seungmin’s voice sounded coldly.

‘For heaven’s sake Seungmin, can you not?’ Chan said angrily.

‘Sorry, y/n,’ Seungmin said, as you turned around to see him, letting go of Chan and ignoring what he said. Immediately, Hyunjin, Minho, and Changbin simultaneously started to lecture him about what they called “indecent” behavior.

‘So are we allowed to teleport whenever and wherever now?’ Jeongin’s voice asked over the tirade of swears the three men were throwing at an unconcerned Seungmin.

‘No, Jeongin, you cannot,’ Chan answered quickly with a stern voice. Jeongin pulled a face before returning to his cooking. Chan only had to look at Minho, Changbin, and Hyunjin for them to shut their mouths again, although they still looked annoyed. Seungmin sat down next to you and Chan.

‘Packed all your bags?’ Seungmin asked as he sat down. You nodded, turning on Chan’s lap to face him. ‘Good, I wanna leave early today, so I’ll have enough time to set up my stuff,’ he stated. ‘Also, as much as I hate to say it,’ Seungmin began, throwing Hyunjin a dirty look, ‘it would probably be wise to bring some extra stuff to do. I’ll be quite busy,’ He said, looking at you apologetically.

‘Breakfast!’ Minho said, as he put a Pajeon on Chan’s plate, working his way around the table. You got up from his lap, giving him some space to eat when Felix came walking in. He greeted the group and sat down next to Hyunjin, who was also eating now.

‘Good morning,’ Han greeted as he shuffled into the kitchen sleepily. The boys all gave their greetings as Han walked around the table, stopping in front of you. ‘Y/n,’ Han said softly. You looked up at him as he planted a short kiss on your lips. For just a second you felt taken aback. Sure you had kissed him before, and more, but none of the boys had ever kissed you on your lips in front of the others. You felt yourself blush instantly as Han withdrew his face with a playful but innocent expression. His sparkling green eyes suddenly seemed to be the only thing that existed in this world. Then a protesting exclamation pulled you back to the real world.

‘Hey man, no fair!’ Changbin growled, jumping up from his chair. Minho, Felix and Chan all let out grumbling protests as well.

‘Can I get one too?’ Hyunjin asked eagerly, also getting up from his chair.

‘Is this how we can greet y/n now?’ Jeongin asked enthusiastically, also running over. You felt a tug at your hand, pulling you from your chair and onto Seungmin’s lap.

‘I thought I had her reserved for the weekend,’ Seungmin spoke coldly as he wrapped his arms around you the way Chan had. Instantly, more protests arose from around the room.

‘Can’t we just share?’ you said with a giggle, looking at all the scowling and eager faces around the table.

‘No. Not this weekend. I’ll allow it after that,’ Seungmin said with a grumble, pulling you in closer and nuzzling his face into your neck. You giggled again as his soft hair tickled your neck.

‘You know she’s a person, right? You can’t just say you’ve reserved her,’ Felix said, clicking his tongue.

‘Boys, please don’t fight,’ you said, trying to hold in your laughter. Never in your life had you imagined being fought over, especially not by all the men you equally loved so much.

‘You reserved her from Friday afternoon. It is now morning, come on, we promised to share,’ Han said in a lecturing kind of voice. He had sat down and was now opening his arms for you, winking at you seductively as if he were trying to lure you in.

‘Again guys, she’s a person,’ Felix sighed, shaking his head as he pressed his lips together in annoyance.

Seungmin withdrew his face from the crook of your neck and for a moment you thought he would protest or even zap Han. But then he made a grumbling sound and let go of you.

‘Come to daddy,’ Han said with a low voice, his arms still open for you. You laughed as you walked over to him to sit on his lap. You could see everyone looking at the two of you sourly as you sat down with him. ‘Such a good girl for me,’ he said softly, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. It was clear he was in a teasing sort of mood. You could feel your heart rate rise instantly at his words and you knew your ears were pinking up. Han placed a finger underneath your chin and slowly guided your face closer to his own. For a moment his emerald green eyes enchanted your view before he once again softly put his lips on yours, longer this time. When he withdrew, your stomach was fluttering and your head was spinning.

A sudden clunking sound made you look away from his startled face. Minho had stopped next to the two of you and slammed down one plate with Pajeon. He had his arms folded and looked more than displeased. He wasn’t the only one though. You could easily spot the jealousy dripping from their expressions, many of them even eyeing you lustfully now. You gulped.

‘Where’s my breakfast?’ Han asked as if nothing had happened, looking up at Minho. Blushing fiercely, you quickly drew the plate closer to you to start eating so you didn’t have to see the guy’s wanting eyes anymore.

‘We just ran out of food, sorry,’ Minho said, poorly faking a smile.

Frowning slightly, you walked through the rows of books, searching for the title you needed. Your finger stopped in the place it ought to be, but the book was not there. You clicked your tongue in annoyance. You didn’t feel like asking the librarian whether it was loaned already, as you were sure you had seen several copies before and the woman had never been nice to you. You crinkled your nose and decided to continue searching, hoping someone might have misplaced it. As you wandered the rows of books for a while, a familiar voice caught your attention.

‘Maybe we can ask y/n to host it?’ Sera said softly and thoughtfully. You looked up, peeking through the rows of books. You could see Sera and Adam sitting in the study spot near the window where you often sat. Adam snorted softly.

‘Don’t expect her to,’ he said, pressing his lips together in a grim smile.

‘Why not?’ Sera asked, her voice sounding surprised.

‘Don’t know if you noticed, but y/n isn’t exactly forthcoming…’ Adam said with a look.

‘I thought that was just because I was new to her…’ Sera said, frowning now too.

‘Oh no, she’s actually super welcoming to you,’ Adam said with a nod, ‘But this is probably as far as we’ll get to know her I guess,’ he shrugged.

‘Haven’t you ever been to her house then?’ Sera asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

‘Nope,’ Adam shook his head. ‘I don’t even know where she lives. I just know she has, like, eight roommates, I think?’

‘What? Eight?’ Sera said, raising her voice somewhat in surprise. Adam quickly shushed her, looking around to see if the stern librarian had heard them and quickly continued in a lowered voice.

‘Yeah, and they’re all guys too. Two of them work here actually,’ He said.

‘Two? I thought it was just that Mr. Lee?’ Sera said, raising her brows.

‘No, Mr. Han as well, I think he teaches biology or something? I’m not sure. She doesn’t talk about them a lot,’ he shrugged.

‘Eight guys…’ Sera repeated again thoughtfully. ‘Have you met them though?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, I think I’ve met all of them by now,’ he said, thinking with a frown. ‘Seven of them were there when I woke up after my accident. One of them came to visit me a few times after that as well,’ Adam spoke.

You blinked at this new information.

‘Really? What did you guys talk about?’ Sera asked curiously.

‘Erm, we didn’t talk at all, to be honest,’ Adam admitted, rubbing his neck awkwardly. ‘To be honest, whenever he was there, I always pretended to be asleep. I mean, you have to remember that I used to like her and then I found out she had eight roommates that all look like they’ve been cut out of magazines. I was kinda salty about it for a while, so I didn’t know what to say,’ Adam said with a shrug. Sera clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes.

‘But those eight guys, are they family?’ Sera asked eagerly. It was clear she was getting more curious with every word Adam said.

‘What? Her’s or like, each others?’ Adam asked. Sera shrugged and waved her hand for him to answer but Adam hesitated.

‘Look, I’m not sure if this should all come from me, but on the other hand… She does seem kinda awkward talking about it with me. Although, she seems to like you,’ he thought aloud and paused for a moment. After apparently making a decision, he continued to speak. ‘Well, they’re not her family at least. I don’t think they’re related to each other either, because I don’t see a lot of similarities between them. I think they’re just friends,’ he spoke.

‘But how do they know her then?’ Sera asked eagerly. Adam paused a second, thinking. You remembered how you told him how they had simply found you and sort of adopted you into their group.

‘I guess they just kinda found each other, you know,’ he said vaguely, shrugging. Apparently, the answer was satisfactory for Sera because she shook her head slowly and spoke.

‘Living with eight guys… I’d go mad,’ Sera said with a huff, leaning back in her chair.

‘She seems to be fine with it,’ Adam shrugged again. ‘I mean, they are a little overprotective of her, but they seem to be taking good care of her as well. They often take her on days out too I believe, like art shows and stuff,’ he said thoughtfully.

‘Art shows?’ Sera repeated. Adam nodded. She frowned for a moment. Before anything else could be said, the bell rang, making you jump back in surprise. You checked your watch and realized that your next class had already started. For a moment you lingered, peeking through the shelving unit at the two of them. They had stopped talking and were starting to pack up their stuff. For a moment you considered skipping the class and following them, wanting to hear what else they would say, but you decided against it. Not only was the class an important one, but it also felt wrong to listen in on their conversations, even if it had been about you. You quickly hoisted your bag over your shoulder and ran off, hoping they wouldn’t see you exiting the library.

It was somewhat difficult to focus on your next class. Your mind kept wandering off, back to the conversation you had overheard. You weren’t angry that they had talked about you. You knew it was normal to talk about friends, and they hadn’t said anything bad or untruthful about you. But still…

Something felt a bit weird.

Absent-mindedly, you walked out of the classroom towards the exit of the school. Of course, Sera had asked the questions she had, it hadn’t been weird at all. She was just curious about you. And Adam was right, you weren’t very forthcoming about yourself. It wasn’t just because you found it hard to explain that you were a Goddess living with eight Gods with whom you were in a weird sort of relationship with, but that wasn’t much of a helping factor. After all, technically you were only three years old and never had many friends either to practice with.

But the things Sera had said made you frown for some reason. Like you were missing something. Overlooking something.

But what?

‘Y/n,’ a voice called your name and you looked up. You were already standing outside of the college building, a car standing at the kiss and ride with a familiar figure in front of it.

'Seungmin?' You said his name surprised. He was leaning casually with his back against the car, clearly waiting for you. He drew up quite the attention as you heard the other students passing giggling and whispering, catching snippets of remarks about his sky-blue eyes.

You quickly ran over to him, feeling your cheeks flush pink.

‘What are you doing here?’ you asked him, stopping near him and looking around nervously.

‘I didn’t know this area was restricted to Lino and Han,’ he said coolly, but you knew he was teasing. You clicked your tongue in annoyance.

‘Of course, it isn’t,’ you spoke with a pout, noticing a group of girls stopping some distance away and pointing and giggling at the two of you.

‘Then did you forget about our trip already?’ He asked, sounding somewhat concerned. You looked at him and quickly shook your head.

‘Of course not, but… Aren’t we leaving after dinner?’ you asked surprised, staring at the car and trying to look through the darkened windows to see if you could spot any luggage.

‘I told you this morning I wanted to leave early, didn’t I?’ Seungmin spoke, taking a step towards you. You looked up at him.

‘Like, right now?’ You asked, startled. He nodded, stretching out his hand for you. For a split second, your brain seemed to malfunction with all the thoughts that were popping up in protest. But when you looked at his bright blue eyes, the thoughts melted away like snow in the sun. Your insides felt warm as he looked at you, your heart beating steadily and excitedly for him. A breath escaped you and all concern, thoughts, and doubts seemed to leave with it. You were home with him.

Smiling back at him broadly, you took his hand as he took your bag from you and slung it around his own shoulder, freeing his hand so he could open the door for you. You got in, ignoring the people staring at Seungmin and his car with curious glances. Seungmin threw your bag in the trunk before walking around and getting in himself.

‘Don’t forget your seatbelt,’ he said, looking over to you as he sat down. You reached across your body to grab your seatbelt, but Seungmin was faster. He leaned over you and pulled the seatbelt out for you, his face passing yours closely. You could smell his warm summer-like scent as he clicked the seatbelt in. Your eyes locked for a moment and your lips parted with your breath. He grinned and pulled back, fixing his own seatbelt, before driving the two of you off.

W R I T E R S N O T E

Sorry for the long wait ya'll, I know it's not even a long chapter, but writing is becoming increasingly difficult. I won't forsake the story, I promise, but it might take a long time to finish... I hope things will become better soon. Love ya'll! Thank you all so much for your never-ending support and kinds words <3

Lots of Love

Dolly

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yoichichi · 3 years ago

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To Call You Mine

college!tsuki x reader series

Ch. 1 - study buddies

warning(s): swearing, early early mornings 😵‍💫, second hand embarrassment LOL

a/n: ahhhhh!! Here’s chapter one of my first series!! I have the masterlist and details linked above but for some quick info: this is a college!au multi chapter fic about tsuki and the reader :) if you’d like to be added to the taglist let me know!! And as always I really appreciate your thoughts and comments n all that :) my inbox is always open!!! Enjoy <3 psps - don’t forget to check out the playlist linked above hhehehe

You’re not sure what woke you first; your alarm, the pain shooting up your back from the stiff cot your university has the audacity to refer to as a “bed”, or your own sour attitude from having to be up so early.

Five am. Five am. It takes a certain kind of sick and twisted individual to suggest meeting up to study at five in the morning. Although, you have to admit, it does take a different kind of person to actually agree to those terms.

Why, why, why, why, why.

Is the mantra you chant to yourself while you mindlessly dress and pack your bag, not even bothering to snatch a power bar from your nightstand for breakfast. Water will have to do.

You make an effort to click the door shut behind you quietly, not wanting to wake up your more than sweet dorm mate who’d surely be focusing on being just as careful as you were right now.

“Oh my gosh, don’t you have that study date in the morning sweetie? You should be sleeping right now.” Bonnie, said dorm mate, leans over the back of your desk chair to peer down at the page of your calculus ll textbook you’ve been staring at for the past ten minutes. Concern is evident in her voice and her body language as she brings up a hand to gingerly rub your shoulder, hoping her small sideways smile will give you a sense of comfort. Or maybe even convince you to give it, and yourself, a rest.

“I know, I know. I just want to be prepared is all. I’m already dropping past a C at the speed of light and I’m sure my professor thinks I’m an idiot, hence him actually setting me up with a tutor, and I don’t need this guy to think I’m one too.” Your head falls in your hands at the end of your sentence, a dramatic groan feeling needed to really emphasize your point, too.

“Okay, just head to bed soon.” She placed a kiss on the top of your head before crawling into her own bed, using a storage container to prop herself onto it properly. She almost made you homesick with the way she doted on you like she was your mother.

You looked over and tapped the screen of your phone to see it read 9:14, not too late. You could reasonably cram in one more lesson.

You scoffed at yourself with the door fully shut and locked. You should’ve listened to Bonnie when you had the chance, it was just past midnight when you finally tore yourself away from last weeks review and decided to get ready for bed. Barely even four hours later and you’re up and getting ready to look at it all again.

You could at least appreciate how quiet the dorm hall was this ea-

“Mornin’, you!”

You internally banged your head against the wall at the bright voice that came towards you with such heavy and loud footsteps, how can someone’s footsteps manage to be so loud on carpet?

You substituted a hello with a gentle smile and wave as your R.A., who definitely didn’t remember your name - which is fine cause you didn’t remember theirs either, rushed past you.

Sighing deeply, you left the warm confines of the dorm building and stepped into the cold and brisk morning, starting your trek to the library.

He couldn’t have even chose a coffee place or something?

You had some, thoughts, about this guy. You didn’t know much about him, only two things.

One, his name: Tsukishima Kei.

Two, he was a good enough student to be assigned to you as a tutor.

You swallowed your slight embarrassment at the thought of your professor reaching out to someone on your behalf and instead chose to focus more on how weird this guy has to be.

Waking up before the sun rises on a Sunday was not something you looked forward to, you don’t think anybody would truly; especially to meet someone for the first time; yet this guy thinks it’s a great idea. So much so he didn’t even think to ask first, just tell you when and where to meet.

Thursday 4:14 pm

- ‘It’s Tsukishima. See you at 5 in the library this sunday.’

- ‘Oh hi!! Oh ok, am or pm?? lol’

Thursday 7:43 pm

- ‘am.’

- ‘Ok cool, see ya then!’

And that was it. Neither of you have texted since, which was three days ago on a Thursday afternoon. It kind of bothered you really, I mean, what kind of self righteous ass-

You took a deep breath and chose to think happy thoughts instead. You’d much rather be in a somewhat pleasant mood when you meet this guy than have some grudge against a stranger. And he probably talks different than he texts, right? You’re sure he didn’t mean to sound like a complete jerk.

You shook your head as if you were shaking away your thoughts as you started to walk along the path to the library. It was a fairly nice walk, about five minutes, and being alone was kind of peaceful on the way there this early.

Your feet shuffled only slightly on the cold concrete surprisingly enough considering the way your fatigue was starting to creep into your joints - but surely the cold wasn’t helping.

It was that kind of morning cold that stung your nostrils when you breathed in and tickled your cheeks and ears. It made your hands clench and unclench in your coat pockets, debating whether or not it’d be worth it to pull the cold metal of your jacket zipper just a centimeter higher in hopes of keeping your neck warmer. The morning fog leaving droplets on the synthetic material of your coat, making it squeak awfully when you moved your arms. And there was the dew on the grass that’d cling onto the tops of your shoe when you had to walk through it.

But the way the old fashioned light posts lit your walk and illuminated the fog kind of made your slight discomfort worth it. And by the time you reached the tall brick library, you could almost say you were in a pleasant mood, almost. And then you remembered why you were here.

You took one final deep breath as you reached the heavy doors of the university library. It was a grand sight really.

The building had its own separate spot on campus, towering at about four stories high, which although didn’t sound ginormous, it definitely felt that way when you had to climb those stairs to the top floor for a book you really didn’t even want. The brick with the foliage creeping up the sides to cover some of the lower windows even gave it an almost magic feeling when you took it in from the outside, it’s too bad that sense of wonder couldn’t be mirrored on the inside.

It was too quiet, especially this early, it smelt almost stale, and everything seemed to have a layer of dust no matter how new a book was. And the bathrooms? Old. Most stalls didn’t even have usable locks at this point. It’s arguably all apart of the charm of such an old building, but it’s not as charming when you have to reach out to keep the stall door closed with your fingertips just to use the restroom. And the water from the sink that never seems to get warm enough when you wash your hands doesn’t help either. Yet the water fountains are always too warm curiously enough.

You made little to no noise besides the occasional rustling of your jacket and squeaking of your shoes as they padded across the dingy off-colored carpet towards the back of the first floor.

There were various sizes of tables spread out throughout the space, few actually matching in color or style. The chairs varied less - but you could still find the oddball desk chair, or the chair with the wooden frame just a tad to wide to feel like a normal seat but just as evenly too small to be a bench.

Your heavy eyes surveyed the dimly lit space in hopes of finding any sign of human life when you finally noticed a backpack haphazardly tossed onto a table, still zipped open. Pens were splayed across the table with a single notebook, scribbles scrawled across the pages too far from you to be read. Not seeing anyone occupying the seat pulled away from the tables edge, you took out your phone to take a peek at the time.

4:58 am

Wow, I’m early?

Shoving your phone back into your pocket you began to make your way towards the (un)occupied table, debating whether a seat closer or farther would be more polite.

If I sit too close that’ll definitely be-

“Hey.”

You felt your shoulders hunch up to your ears and a small gasp leave your mouth at the way the voice behind you so suddenly interrupted your train of thought.

You turned around to come face to face with the voice.

“Are you (y/n)?”

Damn. He’s kinda tall.

Kind of was certainly an understatement. God he was definitely above 6 feet, 6’2” maybe? No, maybe even a little taller.

A single earbud was still in his ear as the other hung down and rested against his chest. He took the time to take the other out and wrap the cord gently around his middle and index finger before shoving it into his coat pocket, presumably the same one with his phone, in an effort to prevent them from getting tangled most likely. He took a deep breath and eyed you up and down before chuckling softly to himself.

“Okay.”

The tall man, who you’re now beginning to realize is Tsukishima, gives you a quizzical stare with a quirked eyebrow as he looks you up and down one last time, definitely judging you and your silence at this point, before turning around and making his way to a table.

Well it’s a good thing he stopped you before you sat at some other strangers table. You don’t think your heart could’ve taken that today.

You watched his back as he made his way towards a table farther into the back, closer to a window peering out onto the foggy and barely illuminated field.

Oh shit

“Oh, sorry!” You clear your throat and begin again, your own sudden volume startling yourself for a moment, as you double your pace to catch up and walk beside him towards a table,

“Um, yeah. Sorry, it’s a little early, brain hasn’t woke all the way up.”

Silence.

At the lack of a response, you decide to awkwardly laugh rather than wallow at the fact he didn’t even give a pity chuckle at your bad attempt at a polite joke to ease the seemingly tense vibe between the two of you.

Okay, well he definitely seems to talk the way he texts.

Clearing your throat again, you tried once more.

“I’m (y/n) by the way, it’s nice to m-“

“I know your name.” He stopped at the table and turned to glance down at you over his shoulder, the tiniest of smirks resting on his face with raised eyebrows, before pulling out a seat to sit in.

Yeah, maybe being quiet for a bit would do you some good. You’ll try again later.

Still trying to shake the embarrassment, no humiliation at this point, you busied yourself with taking out all the proper materials and waiting while he did the same. Sitting patiently opposite of Tsukishima, you decided to finally get a good look at him. Take in what you see and make some judgements.

He shook off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, showing you his wide shoulders underneath the simple grey t-shirt he wore. You didn’t fail to notice how the sleeves were cuffed, either.

Hm. Nice look.

Points for Tsukishima.

His hands and ears were slightly pink from the weather outside, contrastingly sweet against the paleness of his skin.

Kinda cute, in like a Keebler elf kind of way.

More points, you guess, for Tsukishima.

He sighed as he opened up the calculus ll textbook, adjusting his glasses with long and slender fingers before flipping through the pages. You decided it’d be best to do the same.

It was quiet for a moment too long when you thought it might be a good idea to try and speak again, but apparently he must’ve had the same idea.

“So, why d-“

“Thanks for-“

Cutting each other off, you pursed your lips as he gave you some emotionless stare, one of you waiting for the other to start back up again.

Andddd, another awkward beat of silence.

Jesus, this was gonna be the longest hour of your life.

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AHHHHH HERES CHAPTER ONE - I promise the next one will be full of tsuki and tsuki content ok, I just had to get the ball rolling and really wanted to post smth!! I hope you guys like and please please leave your thoughts or anything in my ask box or anywhere!! I’d love to talk :D MWAH I also have little footnotes in my tags too :) (more like commentary but yeah)

taglist for series: @plutowrites @c0rncheez @ruetaro @daniagabriela48 @toyas-wife @devilkou @anime-and-kpop-trash (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know! And if ur crossed off tagging didn’t work!)

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dwtsfun · 2 years ago

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Dancing with the Stars Season 31 Week 6: The Night to Right a Wrong

Hey everyone. We are back and I'm just gonna get into it. I think the show is really clicking and working in all aspects and I am so pleased. Tyra seems to have found out how she should navigate hosting in a way that works for her. She does what she needs to but will allow Alfonso to take over at parts where she knows he's better than her. Michael Buble Night was a lot better than I expected. I also enjoyed how much like classic DWTS this particular night felt. Derek and Michael's performance of his new song was *chef's kiss* so good. I'll get more into that a little later. Also, I will explain this title when we get to the elimination. Having Michael give scores was a little much, but it was fine I guess. He wasn't the worst guest judge we've ever had. So we move!

Shangela and Gleb- Tango (Score=45)- I thought this was Shangela's best dance to date. Her feet are a lot more improved. Her frame has also gotten a lot better. Of course, we all know she can perform. She still has a few smaller things to work out with her frame and her feet kinda get stuck every now and then. But I see so much improvement in her and Gleb has been so much fun to watch this season. She brings out the best in him personality wise and pro wise.

Trevor and Emma- Foxtrot (Score=42)- I think this was Trevor's best dance to date. The 9s were kind, but I see definite improvement. A lot of that has to do with his level of comfortability with dancing increasing as well as his confidence in general being better. His frame still needs work. He tends to stick his butt out. And he was kinda skippy throughout the dance when the foxtrot should be very smooth, almost like they're skating on ice.

Gabby and Val- Rumba (Score=46)- Idk where the 10 for this came from. It was fine and I'm glad that she has finally become more stable on her legs (there are still issues every now and then). But I think her arm placement was weird and not super fluid at times. And her hip action, while there, wasn't grounded. So it made the dance look forced. It was a good dance and I see improvement from her, but yeah. It wasn't my favorite.

Vinny and Koko- Cha-cha (Score=36)- So Vinny absolutely struggled the first half of the dance. I guess he made a mistake that I missed very early on. You could visibly see him start to panic and count out the steps to try and get himself back on track. He ended up doing it and the second half was much better. I'm surprised we didn't see at least a 6 from Len. I was fully expecting it and think that the dance deserved it. And I love Vinny, but I gotta be real. I felt bad though because he got so down on himself. He clearly had performed that much better in the past. That being said, I want Koko to bring in someone from the outside to really look at Vinny's feet (and legs) to see if they can maybe get him to better understand how to keep his energy all the way through his toes. He is very flat footed and his legs just lack the crispness that I want. His upper body is fine for the most part (it could use work but his lower body needs to be the focus). It's not a knock on Koko at all. She's been fantastic. But another set of eyes could definitely help pinpoint and try to fix that problem.

Jordin and Brandon- Foxtrot (Score=43)- To me, this was very clearly Jordin's best dance to date. The way she started, I saw all the confidence just beaming from her. Her technique was the best I've ever seen. She didn't go wrong at all. And I have to shoutout Brandon because I feel like this has been his best season as a teacher. I think they should've gotten straight 9s. There needs to be a little more work on the frame, but it was a bit of a showstopper, I must say.

Charli and Mark- Foxtrot (Score=50)- So to get the obvious out the way, this was the best dance of the season and the best dance I've seen in a long time. Now, let me get into what I really enjoyed about this dance. It really took me back to DWTS, before season 18. I really felt like the dances were able to speak for themselves. It felt like an old school DWTS perfect. And imo, it was much more difficult to get a perfect score back then (even to get straight 9s) than it is during current DWTS times. So it is nice to see a dance of that quality without so much of the overly produced dances with the bells, whistles, props and other things that tend to really bog down the dances in my opinion.

Heidi and Artem- Samba (Score=46)- I don't think this was as good as the judges made it seem. While she did everything mostly well, Heidi is missing a very big thing when she dances that all of the other women have. This is a problem I seem to point out every season with at least one woman, but she lacks impact when she dances. It almost feels like she's just going through the motions. It works in lyrical dances. But in the ones where you need more attack, it just does not fly. That was the biggest issue here. I'm not sure what Artem's style of teaching is, because like Tony, this tends to be a problem with his partners. They dance on top of the floor and I want them to dance through the floor. I was fully expecting to see some 8s because her rumba was quite a bit better than this.

Wayne and Witney- Quickstep (Score=44)- With the week these two had, I'm happy they were even able to put together any sort of coherent routine. Now, it was under rehearsed and there were a lot of mistakes. But we all knew that was gonna happen because they did not start rehearsal until Friday. Things happen. He still performed well and didn't let the fact that he got lost affect what he was doing.

Jessie and Alan- Salsa (Score=41)- While this was her best dance, it wasn't clean at all. Her arms were kinda flailing. The lifts were a bit of a struggle. She just has a roughness about her when she dances. I do think there should've been 7s thrown in. But whatever, they were eliminated.

Daniel and Britt- Foxtrot (Score=43)- I really loved the approach Britt took to teaching this dance. I think it helped Daniel connect some of his moves in ways that he hadn't before. There was huge improvement in that aspect. And I felt like he was more confident in where his feet were. I always get the feeling that he questions if his feet are in the right place at the right time, which gives his dances an unsteady feeling. That wasn't as big of an issue with this one. Now his arms are still slightly off and his shoulder crept up from time to time when they were in hold. But it was their best dance.

Now the bottom 2 were Trevor and Jessie. And I have to say that had that sham of a marathon not happened, this would've absolutely been the bottom 2 last Tuesday. So the judges can save their "last week was so hard, now we have another hard one" thing, because they literally put themselves in that position last week. Like that saying goes, "play stupid games, win stupid prizes". Anyway, Jessie was eliminated this week that was definitely the right decision. Derek, idk what's happening to you. You're clicking, but you're clicking down.

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hypmic-writings · 3 years ago

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65 Random Drabbles Masterlist

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)

This is a masterlist of all of the '65 Random Drabbles Prompts' that have been completed. You can click here see the original post of prompts.

»»————-　♡　————-««

→ Requests are: {✗} Closed

→ ✉ Inbox: (0)

→ Updated as of: 【9/16/2021】

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

65 Random Drabbles Prompts

Ichiro Yamada

♡ 4. “I feel like we met each other in a past life”

♡ 42. “I like the red ones”

♡ 24. “Shit, I left my sword at home”

♡ 3. “Wow, you’re wearing a lot of black”

♡ 7. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else”

♡ 59.“Will you stay with me?”

♡ 41. “I could never love someone like you”

♡ 27. “You look sexy in that apron”

Jiro Yamada

♡ 39. “I’m not ticklish, so don’t bother trying”

♡ 38. “Have you ever been in love before”

Saburo Yamada

♡ 41. “I could never love someone like you”

♡ 1. “I don’t know what I would do without you”

♡ 9. “I’ve never met someone as cute or as stupid as you”

Samatoki Aohitsugi

♡ 31. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do”

♡ 5. “Oh my god, is that blood?”

♡ 7. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else”

♡ 38. “Have you ever been in love before?”

♡ 2. “Can I lean against you?”

♡ 31. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do” (short s/o)

♡ 37. “Do it again...but harder” (NSFW)

♡ 35. “Just leave me here, I’m too tired to move”

♡ 45. “It should be illegal to look that good”

♡ 10. “I never liked you” AND 20. “Why would you care about me? Nobody else does”

♡ 6. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

♡ 1. “I don’t know what I would do without you”

♡ 26. “Can we please get a dog?”

Juto Iruma

♡ 27. “You look sexy in that apron”

♡ 46. “Stop it, you’re being a child”

♡ 23. “I’m afraid of the dark”

♡ 59. “Will you stay with me?”

♡ 5. “Oh my god, is that blood?”

♡ 65. “Please don’t forget about me”

Riou Busujima

♡ 56. “Let’s build a sandcastle”

♡ 15. “You’re not ‘chillin’ you broke your arm in three different places”

Ramuda Amemura

♡ 21. “Are you dead?…Am I dead?”

♡ 6. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

♡ 64. “How can you be so mean to me?”

♡ 7. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else”

♡ 9. “I’ve never met someone as cute or as stupid as you”

♡ 37. “Do it again…but harder”

Gentaro Yumeno

♡ 5. “Oh my god, is that blood?”

♡ 13. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake”

Dice Arisugawa

♡ 8. “Is that…a cake?”

♡ 47. “Can you please stop making that noise?”

♡ 21. “Are you dead?…Am I dead?”

♡ 4. “I feel like we met each other in a past life”

Jakurai Jinguji

♡ 39. “I’m not ticklish, so don’t bother trying”

♡ 23. “I’m afraid of the dark”

♡ 26. “Can we please get a dog?”

♡ 43. “Did you just shoot them?”

♡ 6. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

♡ 20. “Why would you care about me? Nobody else does”

Hifumi Izanami

♡ 55. “Do you think you’d ever want children?”

Doppo Kannonzaka

♡ 13. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake”

Kuko Harai

♡ 45. “It should be illegal to look that good”

♡ 53 “I love it when you do that”

♡ 15. “You’re not ‘chillin’ you broke your arm in three different places”

Jyushi Aimono

♡ 30. “You look like you just saw a ghost”

Hitoya Amaguni

♡ 3. “Wow, you’re wearing a lot of black”

Sasara Nurude

♡ 55. “Do you think you’d ever want children?”

Rosho Tsutsujimori

♡ 27. “You look sexy in that apron”

Rei Amayado

♡ 17. “Why am I doing this…isn’t this supposed to be your job?”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

#mod post #65rdg #65 random drabbles game #65 random drabbles game masterlist #masterlist

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katytheinspiredworkaholic · 4 years ago

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Correspondence, Chapter 04

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary: An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Action-y in that there is offscreen violence and peril, injuries, talk of surgery and symptoms/effects of medical grade narcotics (morphine), more on that big ol’ age difference. Side notes: Agent Anderson of the L.A. field office has no relation to Agent Anderson of Quantico, VA, because Agent Anderson of the BAU is a national treasure. (I’m considering going back and renaming the OC, but as of right now this is the last we hear of him for a while). And I know no one really pays attention to them, but the time stamps on the texts match the time zone of the scene setting. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 8893

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link

Chapter 04

Late September 2010

Spencer Reid wakes up to the early grey morning two weeks later, a perpetual haze shrouding his room long before his alarm was supposed to rouse him. He reaches blindly, blearing eyed and checks his phone for what feels like the hundredth time, only to find no messages waiting for him. A terrible, horrid feeling has been clawing at his chest and throat the longer it gets -- the more time that passes -- and he still hasn’t heard from Hotch.

They’ve been messaging each other near constantly for months now, and it only seemed to get more intense after that fateful talk at the beginning of September. Where Hotch finally revealed he’d thought Spencer was much older than him, and not the other way around. Spencer had set him straight, as much as he could, and even that had been nerve-wracking to say the least. The two men were crossing into a territory neither really wanted to put a label on, and Spencer was both afraid of it and excited by it. Of what it could mean, and how long it could last, but he’d thought he’d had time to figure out a solution to his inadvertent secrecy.

Then, Hotch began working a case in Delaware two days ago.

It seemed like a textbook unsub; maybe a little aggressive with anti-establishment overtones, but nothing they couldn’t handle. Nothing the BAU hasn’t seen before. They’d been closing in on the suspect, no location yet but some prospects that needed checking out, and the last Spencer had heard from Hotch…

It had been lunchtime for him, and midafternoon for the older man. The exchange hadn’t been anything of consequence, just their usual, easy correspondence. Hotch was going to check out that lead they’d spoken of, Spencer had a budget meeting as soon as he was done eating in the middle of his office hours, and they had a plan to play chess online that night. Hotch is still terrible at it, but he keeps coming back no matter how thoroughly Spencer wipes the floor with him. Now, sometimes they just forget about the game entirely after the first few minutes. It makes him smile each and every time, soft and fond and lighting a warmth inside him Spencer has… never felt before.

Then Hotch hadn’t messaged him the rest of the night.

Hadn’t shown up online to play chess.

Hadn’t texted him goodnight, or even sent him an update on the case.

Nothing in their conversations warranted such ostracization, and although Spencer has been ‘ghosted’ before (as his doctoral students would say) he knows Hotch would never do that. Not after everything, the history they’ve built the past months -- leaving nothing but the dread to sink in and spread like a stain.

All night, he imagines the worst.

By morning, he all but expects it.

[]9/22, 18:59[] Are you alright? Did something happen with the case?

[]9/22, 19:10[] If you were that scared of losing at chess, I can also beat you at online poker instead.

[]9/22, 19:30[] I’d suggest scrabble but that’s honestly not fair to you.

[]9/22, 21:55[] Hotch?

[]9/22, 22:30[] I’m assuming that lead panned out, and you caught your unsub and are neck deep in interrogation.

[]9/22, 22:36[] I don’t want to imagine anything else, so that’s what I will picture.

[]9/23, 00:06[] Hotch please answer me.

[]9/23, 05:32[] Please be okay.

Spencer arrives at Caltech looking a little more of a mess than usual. More than most are used to seeing him, at least, and it causes a few second glances from students he passes and other faculty -- but he really can’t find it in himself to care, this morning. His unruly curls, getting longer again, falling into his face and over his ears, are frizzy in their unkemptness. Bags under his eyes, normal, but he’s settled for glasses instead of his contacts. He has a spare pair in his desk, he’ll have to change them before class. His glasses somehow always make him look even younger. A mystery that boggles the mind, because once he had grown into his face a few years ago (around 26 or 27, close enough he had worried he would forever be cursed with a ‘baby face’) Spencer had thought he would finally be getting away from that.

And yet, square jaw and ‘grandpa’ glasses and thin frame towering just over six feet did nothing in the slightest to aid him. Certainly not stopping a man outside the campus coffee shop from shouting “Watch where you’re going, kid!” as he near barrels over him on the sidewalk. Not his sweater vest or half suits, attire straight out of a 1940’s noir film (he’d even sported a vintage inspired undercut with his waves combed over for a while there, too. Way too much upkeep, as nice as it looked). Nothing makes him any more grown up in the eyes of the unsuspecting world, than he’d been without his five doctorates and board of director’s seat. No matter what he tried, it seems.

This has been a subliminal thing for years, something Spencer always said didn’t bother him in the slightest. And for a long time he didn’t care one way or the other, he just kept getting more degrees. All his life Spencer has been ‘too young’, always been ‘kid’ or ‘sport’ or ‘tiger’, even when running quantum physics equations in his head. And it didn’t matter. Not with his credentials and accomplishments and everything he now has to his name.

Until Hotch.

Now, Spencer cares.

Notices, even through his haze of worry and sleeplessness, how on the street it’s “Watch it, kid!” and fifteen yards later it’s “Good morning, Dr. Reid” as he steps into the Physics building where everyone knows him on sight. Knows him, and what he’s capable of.

What if when Hotch met him all he saw was… another kid?

If they ever met.

“Whoa, rough night Dr. Reid?”

“Yes, you could say that,” he mumbles out as he signs in and scans his ID card, taking the stack of mail that the desk attendant hands him. But stops before he gets too far from the desk, backtracking. “Hey, have you watched the news this morning? Did anything show up about New England or Delaware?”

“Not that I saw, Dr. Reid,” she says in confusion, looking up from where she had been texting on her phone. “Just a whole lot of coverage on the shitshow at capital hill, as usual. Oh, and more depressing reports about the earthquake clean-up in New Zealand.”

Of course, why would there be a news story about a killer in Delaware here in California. He’d have to look up everything online himself.

“Thanks anyway, Carla.”

“No problem, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer spends way too long online that morning, searching for anything about the case Hotch and his team are working. He usually prefers paper copies of news media, at first barely knowing where to begin, but he falls into a wormhole of news outlets and local Delaware station websites, reading the thousands of webpages faster than he can scroll and click through them. But he can’t find anything pointing to a disturbance related to the case. There's nothing about a raid, or a shooting, or even an arrest -- which could all just be a part of the ongoing media blackout -- but it also does nothing to stop him from panicking. Spencer gives up after an hour, and diverts to other resources. Ones with a direct line to Hotch.

With a drafted email pulled up to Ms. Penelope Garcia, the BAU's personal tech analyst, he ponders how to... even word this without it sounding too personal. Too much like he and Hotch have more than just a working relationship.

Because they do. They have... something.

Something that gives him fluttering sensations in his stomach, makes him check his phone constantly, and react to even the slightest chime similar to his text tone. Makes him smile when he sees Hotch's name on his notifications, in his email inbox, makes him message the man in the middle of the day at the most random thoughts. Just because he wants to make him laugh.

[]8/21, 15:36[] You're going to get me in trouble.

[]8/21, 15:38[] You didn’t laugh in front of your team, did you? The scandal.

[]8/21, 15:42[] I'm at a crime scene. There's a dead body in front of me.

[]8/21, 15:43[] Then why are you checking your phone?

[]8/21, 15:45[] You know why.

But that’s not something that is shared with the rest of the team, he’s sure. So he should be careful how he words his email, lest Ms. Garcia realize that Spencer isn’t asking purely as a colleague.

Surely they know he has friends, though?

Chewing his lip, Spencer types out a brief email asking if Agent Hotchner is feeling well since he missed an appointment the night before and hasn’t been returning his calls. It’s a phrase he’s used often, so it comes naturally to Spencer as he types it out, and he realizes… he hasn’t called. He’s sent a dozen text messages, but not a phone call. Never a phone call. That was against the rules, the unspoken ones that always kept this friendship easy and free-flowing and evolving into something more.

But this feels like the closest to an emergency they’ve ever encountered before.

He looks to his phone beside him on his desk, and tries to fight back the dueling forms of panic clawing at his chest. Listed in bullet points behind his eyes. Panic that Hotch might not answer, panic what that means for the man he’s been… becoming more and more inclined to than any other person he’s met in so long. Panic if he does answer, breaking that barrier of written words to spoken, and the opportunity to hear Hotch’s voice. But he would also hear Spencer’s, and then there would be no hiding just how… how young he really is. He still didn’t have a plan for that, wracking his overworked brain day and night for a way to incorporate the information into a conversation that wouldn’t stop everything in its tracks.

But his phone is in his hand before he can stop himself, Hotch’s contact pulled up and his thumb hovering over the phone number with baited breath.

Was he really going to do this?

He presses the touch screen and can hear the line connecting, the dial tone ring even before he gets the phone up to his ear and waits. It rings, and rings, and rings a fourth time -- before clicking over to voicemail. And Spencer’s hyper-fast thought processes fail him as he realizes far too late that he’s going to hear Hotch’s voice for the first time, anyway. Frozen in a panic, unsure if he wants to or if that had been something he wanted them to do together that the seconds slip by like water through his fingers and suddenly it’s too late.

“You’ve reached the voicemail box of -- (703)-567-8790 -- this caller is not available. Please leave a message after the tone--”

It’s an automated, female voice that rattles off the numbers and generic call back message, and Spencer hangs up before it can begin recording him. Exhaling a shaky breath, relief a flash flood on his nerves that nothing had been ruined between him and Hotch thanks to an ill-timed phone call.

He keeps the momentum going without much thought, and adjusts his email to Ms. Garcia before sending it.

It feels so understated, and yet over dramatic the more he thinks about it. The more he reads it.

Please let me know of his well-being.

God, no wonder Hotch thought he was in his 60’s.

But Spencer has to keep the façade up, for now, not give away anything he doesn’t want to just because the emotional part of his brain is running rampant over the rational one. There are… many explanations as to why Hotch isn’t answering him. His gut feeling aside, he doesn’t need to be panicking like this. The world is still turning, he still has work to do, so Spencer tries to gather himself into some semblance of order and preps to talk to his doctoral students within the hour.

His morning routine progresses as usual, as if nothing at all is wrong with the world. Dr. Reid has his mandatory round up with his doctoral candidates going over thesis and dissertation parameters, class lecture schedules, updates, the works. Like morning announcements, but he requires them all to be there and to listen, and they all show up. Everyone knows of Spencer’s eidetic memory. He will certainly not forget a single date or schedule change, and he expects his students to not forget as well.

But this morning Spencer is fully distracted, his mind elsewhere, somewhere in the state of Delaware with an agent who may or may not be in danger. Because Spencer cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong. It almost seems more like a fact than a feeling. The juxtaposition of his daily routine and this unfounded worry throws him entirely off kilter, and all of his students seem to know right away.

Then, his distraction reaches its peak when his email pings, right in the middle of his department announcements. A response from Ms. Garcia of Quantico, VA flashing across his laptop screen. Spencer’s eyes skim the preview sentence in the pop-up box, and his voice trails off as his mind… whirls.

Dr. Reid, I’m sorry to tell you I don’t know when Hotch will be available again. There was an incident, and he’s still in surg-

Surgery.

That vice-like grip of worry that has taken hold of him since last night tightens further, to the point Spencer can’t breathe. Hotch is in surgery, Hotch is hurt, and if he hasn’t been answering his phone since last night -- or even late yesterday afternoon -- it was not a minor thing.

Hotch is hurt.

She doesn’t know when he will be--

If he will be --

“Dr. Reid? Are you okay?”

“I--” he’s still looking at the email pop-up box, and is clicking on it before he can stop himself. Immediately disconnecting his laptop from the projector as his email loads there. It takes him a fraction of a second to read the email. “I’m sorry, an emergency just came up. Kimmy, finish reading off the schedule for me?” He doesn’t even wait until she answers him, just picks up his laptop and retreats to his office as fast as his long legs will carry him.

--surgery and we’re still waiting on word. I know you 2 talk on the reg so I’ll keep you posted.

Fret not, genius professor, our fearless leader has been through much worse than this.

She’s using informal speech patterns, which she has never done before. It bleeds her nervousness, and worries Spencer even more. Teetering on the edge of panic. Ms. Garcia also revealed she knows he and Hotch talk, but surprisingly that doesn’t have the effect he thought it would on his already rattled nerves. Instead, any and all reservations fall away as he types out a response much in the same way he and Hotch had started their friendship all those months ago.

Please, is there anything you are allowed to tell me about the case or his condition? We --

Spencer pauses, bites his lip as he considers crossing this boundary into the uncomfortable unknown, and then thinks about Hotch on a hospital operating table three thousand miles away.

“Screw it,” he mutters and continues to type.

--We’ve become good friends and I’m very worried.

The reply is almost immediate.

That makes 2 of us, boy wonder, but I’m already hacked into the hospital records database and Prentiss is in the waiting room for any immediate actions.

I’m sending you the case files and the incident report from last night. Maybe you can see some shiz we can’t b/c the bossman is tough but he’s been in surgery a long time.

Of course, whatever he can do to help. Spencer’s heavy heart-beat triples in his chest as pulls up the files and immediately prints them out so he can read through them faster. Utilizing anything and everything he can do to aid the BAU team, and whatever Hotch has gotten himself into. But then, his mind sticks on something from the email. Boy Wonder. It stalls his hands mid-movement.

Ms. Garcia knows how young he is.

She must have done a background check on him, that would make sense since he’s been consulting so much lately. But why would Garcia know his age, and not Hotch? Wouldn’t she send the files to him directly? Had Hotch really known, all along?

Or did she do it on her own, and not tell him? Assuming her boss already knew everything about him. It’s too many questions and possibilities and they are interfering with what’s most important right now. Best to get it out of the way, no time to be indirect about it.

Ms. Garcia, did you update my dossier with the bureau after you ran my background check?

If you’re referring to why Hotch seems to think you’re rocking the senior discount at restaurants and not still getting carded for beer, then no I didn’t update it. I’m very anti-gov files having every detail of our lives in them, that’s what I’m for, and I figured there was a reason he didn’t know. Your secret is safe with me, sugar bean.

Spencer hadn’t meant for it to be a secret at all, it just happened that way.

The real reason is Agent Anderson of the LA field office is a dick, with a bully streak he never outgrew after high school, and didn’t bother filling out a full file on him the first time Spencer consulted for the FBI. Then, he couldn’t be bothered to update it when his consultations became more than a one time thing.

But that was all in the past now, and Spencer can’t even be upset about it. Because now he has Hotch.

Thank you, Ms. Garcia. I’ll let you know my findings soon.

He skims the file quickly, pulling information out at lightning speed. It appears a very straight-forward case. As straight-forward as a murderous sociopath can be, anyway. Very anti-establishment, like he and Hotch had discussed the previous day, aiming for specified targets that devolved to anyone in a uniform. Anyone who appears too official, or labels as official.

It’s easy to see, now, why the unsub attacked Hotch instead of running from him. He practically served himself up on a silver platter. But there’s something about the kills that’s bothering Spencer. The knife wounds, bludgeoning, even the gunshots during the first murders when the unsub still hesitated -- it’s all overkill. Rage. Every single target has died from massive internal bleeding, M.E. reports all label the knife wounds and beatings as the cause. But the amount of blood left over, measured during autopsy, doesn’t add up. They bled too much. No wounds indicating intentional bleeding occurred, and the tox screens are all clean.

Except, every victim’s hospital records show elevated potassium rates. Spencer’s hands, skimming down each and every page quick as they can, stop on a dime as his gaze zero in on the information.

“Oh, God,” Spencer whispers, quiet and horrified. “--Hotch.”

There’s no time for email.

He picks up his phone, goes to an older email that has full contact details in the footer, and dials Ms. Garcia’s direct line in Quantico.

“Speak, and behold greatness.”

“Ms. Garcia, it’s Dr. Reid,” Spencer says, and his tone and quickened speech patterns gives way to his panic.

“Dr-- Dr. Reid?”

“Yes, quick there’s no time. Do you have Hotch’s hospital records in front of you still?”

“Yes,” Garcia says, her voice a musical thing even in it’s breathless reaction to his heightened state of haste. “Updated every two minutes.”

“Is his potassium elevated?”

Some quick typing of keys that move faster than even he could ever hope to type. “...Yes.”

God. “Okay, okay I need you to call the hospital right now,” Spencer says in a spiel that all sounds like one word. “Whatever you have to do, he needs Sodium Polystyrene Sulfonate as soon as possible, to counteract the chemical imbalance or he’s going to go into kidney failure and bleed out.”

There’s more typing going on and Ms. Garcia’s breathing has gone a little labored.

“Alright, alright I’m getting patched through. What else can you tell me?”

“I think he’s been dosed with something called an XG Compound, either Eastman or Zhao I have to look up the specific components and chemist. But they are a series of banned, experimental military-grade drugs that suffer effects of thinning the blood, that’s why they can’t stop the bleeding around his stab wounds and old scar tissue.” Hotch’s old wounds from Foyet would only exacerbate the condition, once it reached the kidney failure stage, but up until then the intrusions of hardened tissue is the only reason his abdominal cavity hasn’t been flooded with blood and drowned out his other organs.

“Okay, okay I’m through, I’m keeping you on the line. Stand by-- ” then she clicks over and he’s left with a pulsating silence. Nothing remaining but continuing his work, and hoping he’d called in time. Hoping that Hotch will be alright.

Spencer is digging through his floor to ceiling bookshelves for the biology book on airborne pathogens given to him by a visiting Professor two years ago and he is hating himself for never cracking it in that moment. It’s nearly the last book he gets a hand on, because of course it is, and he makes it a third of the way through the book before Garcia is back on the line. The phone on the floor beside him and just barely within reach.

“You literal genius, I could kiss you,” Garcia tells him in what can only be overstated relief, and Spencer snatches up his phone with a very undignified scramble. “They’ve had to do two transfusions on him and are prepping a third, but you were right he’s been dosed with that XG compound.”

“He’s going to be okay?�� Spencer asks, still cross-legged on his office floor surrounded by books and holding his phone to his ear like a lifeline.

“Yes, yes my dear he’s going to be alright. They think. He’s not out of the woods yet and the surgery is still going on, but he -- he would have died within the next hour if you hadn’t found out what was wrong.”

Spencer’s heart is in his throat, her words doing the exact opposite of reassuring him. Hotch had been that close to dying, to being forever out of reach, because Spencer had been too scared to pick up the phone.

“I should have called sooner,” he says, so quiet even someone in the room wouldn’t have heard him correctly. “I knew something was wrong.”

“Oh no, sugar don’t think like that. You just saved his life,” she pauses, like she wants to say something else, but diverts to an adjacent topic. “How did you know?”

“Autopsy reports. There wasn’t enough blood left in the bodies, they bled out too quickly. Then I saw the elevated Potassium,” he murmurs it all, rattled off without really thinking about it.

“And you just… knew all of that, without looking anything up?”

“That’s basically what I do. The only reason anyone calls me,” Spencer laughs but it holds no humor. “I know too much, make connections, and drink too much coffee.”

“You drink and know things, oh God I hope you get that reference because you’re getting a coffee mug.”

Spencer laughs a little, despite the situation, and feels… lighter, somehow, even with the worry still plaguing him. Caught up in his chest like a bad cold.

“I’m reading this textbook on airborne pathogens, I have a hunch, and I’ll send you anything I find that can help with the case,” Spencer continues, his voice not so heavy for a moment. “Just… tell me when he’s out of surgery? Keep me posted?”

“Of course, honey, you’ll be my first message,” Ms. Garcia assures him, but then she pauses again -- and he almost hangs up because it feels too anticipatory. “You should tell him, B.T.Dubs.”

Spencer hesitates more than is probably necessary.

“... I don’t know what good that will do,” he admits, quiet and unsure. “I’m not -- I’m not ready for this to be over.”

“You’re not that young, honey. Does he know you like him?”

“Mmhmm,” Spencer makes a nervous, affirmative sound. “And… he likes me, or who he thinks I am.”

“Don’t write him off just yet, Doc, let him speak for himself when he wakes up,” Ms. Garcia all but scolds him, in as gentle a way as possible and Spencer appreciates that, at least.

“--I’ll think about it.”

Not long after Spencer finds what he’s looking for: military grade poisons that were banned for causing adverse effects, listed and categorized by chemist and agency. It is the Eastman compound, originated during the first invasion of Afghanistan. Their unsub has prolonged exposure, Spencer is sure, and that will narrow down the suspect pool immensely.

After he sends the information to Ms. Garcia, Spencer looks to his phone once more, where there is a block of text all from him himself in his correspondence with Hotch. Begging him to be alright, to answer him, and now that he knows that the man has a fighting chance -- or as much of one as he will be able to have, with where advanced medicine resides in the current conjecture of time -- there really isn’t much he can do now. But hope. And wait. And pray.

Except Spencer doesn’t believe in prayer, or God, or anything that might hear him. The only thing he really believes in is science, and facts, and none of that is very helpful to him right now. Except maybe the coincidental balance of the universe, in a theoretical physics sense, and unexplained phenomenon that have an equal and spatial balance to it. Anything with the descriptor ‘unexplained’ always draws him in like a moth to flame, and he knows he can typically find a semblance of comfort in the way his brain constantly connects dots and far off specks of information that not everyone can see at first glance. Constellations in the sky. But only when he has someone to tell it to, that even pretends to listen for a moment, and for a long while now… Hotch has been that someone. Hotch always listens to him.

Before he knows it, he’s typing into the text box once more --

[]9/23, 11:10[] You’re in surgery still, but Ms. Garcia has confirmed the treatments are working and they are able to actually repair the damage instead of treading water like they have been the past ten hours. I’ve had her personally in contact with the doctors and surgical staff, and all they’ve been able to tell us is to let them work and just pray for you.

[]9/23, 11:13[] Which is such an odd thing; men of science telling people to pray like the outcome of a surgery isn’t in their hands, but some theoretical astronomical entity. I know it’s probably just a ‘bedside-manner’ tactic, but it doesn’t help me in the slightest so it just irks me instead.

[]9/23, 11:15[] I don’t believe in prayer -- a shock, I’m sure -- but I do believe in the phenomenon of universal affirmation. It’s an interesting trend in history and spans cultures where if someone has something awaiting them, to live for, even if they are unaware of it… they will fight harder to cling to life.

[]9/23, 11:18[] But I also know you will fight tooth and nail for Jack, and for your team that you treat like family, and maybe even me. I’d like to hope I’m included in that, and no amount of books or IQ points can make me think of something to contribute to help you keep fighting.

[]9/23, 11:19[] Just please keep fighting. Come back. And if I come up with something to entice you… I’ll let you know.

It eases a lot of the tension in his chest, talking to Hotch like this -- even if he’s just talking at him, in a place where he might never know what Spencer has had to say. But he can hope. Hope that Hotch will wake up and have thirty missed messages and see they are all from Spencer and it will make him smile.

Spencer would give anything to see him smile, and he allows himself to hope that one day... he might get to.

He might as well, while he’s sitting there hopelessly hoping for things beyond his control.

Come back to me.

Spencer almost types it out, can see it in the text window though he hasn’t pressed a single letter, and closes his phone before he can. Pressing it to his mouth and closing his eyes and just…

Hoping.

The hours roll over into the afternoon, and there’s still no word.

Spencer has spent the majority of the day messaging Ms. Garcia, who has had no information beyond trivial updates here and there and Spencer has read more about surgical procedures and practices than he has in his entire life. Even raided the biology department’s library, surrounding himself with the comfort of books and files and filled his head with the soothing monotony of medical terms and safety protocols.

But once noon has come and gone he finds himself staring into the bookshelves across from where he sits on the floor, among stacks of textbooks, with an epiphany trying to make itself known to him. Despite his every attempt to ignore it.

His phone is back in his hand, there’s an email correspondence from Ms. Garcia that only briefly says Still nothing. And that makes up Spencer’s mind.

[]9/23, 12:49[] I’ve thought of something.

What he types next makes it hard to breathe, his heart lodged in his throat, and it all comes flowing out of him much like before. His fingers keep moving, his emotional part of his brain steam-rolls over the rational one, and then he’s done and he’s tacked on six extra messages and Spencer has to put his phone away before he rereads it beyond what is deemed healthy or sane.

Because he’s done what he could, and all he can do is believe that will be enough to… subliminally keep Hotch fighting. The day is only half over, and Spencer feels like he hasn’t slept in a week.

It would be hours before he got the message that would send relief through his spine like a shot of Novocain. Just three words from Ms. Garcia, sent in haste in a text instead of an email.

{}9/23, 14:58{} He’s in recovery.

Hotch wakes up just barely the first time, the room spinning and hit with that familiar smell of anesthesia he can always taste as it fills his senses, before he slips back under.

The second time is to a small pencil light being flashed in his eyes, staccato movements meant to test his pupil reactions, and an older woman in nurse’s scrubs saying his name and calling to him. He hums an affirmative, even though he isn’t fully returned to a working state of mind. Instinct, more than clarity.

“Welcome back, Agent Hotchner.”

“About damn time,” he hears Prentiss say from somewhere across the room. Probably leaning the wall, if that faux drone is anything to go by. The nurse gives her a look but his agent isn’t even fazed by it, as far as Hotch can see. It takes him a moment for his eyes to adjust that far. But he knows the look well enough he doesn’t actually have to see it.

“Where is everyone? Is anyone else hurt?” Hotch can feel the words form on his tongue, droned out in a haze, his mind slowly coming back to him.

“Good to see you, too, boss,” Prentiss says in mild exacerbation, coming up to the side of his bed but not taking a seat. She must have been waiting a long time, her whole stance jittery just like after long flights on cases. “Everyone is fine, you’re the only one that got into a knife fight with an unsub who’s into biological warfare.” Hotch blinks at her, trying to make her words make sense without asking it of her. He remembers going to a warehouse to follow a lead, but not much else after that. It’s coming back too slowly to keep up with her. Prentiss just sighs, and repeats herself. “Everyone is fine.”

She regales him with a play by play, his own memories appearing like raindrops on a windshield to accompany her commentary. Slowly beginning to form a picture of what had happened. He’d been stabbed before, more than he cares to think about, and he’s been dosed with military-grade drugs before as well -- but never both at the same time. No wonder he feels like he’s been hit by a truck.

“You’re lucky to be alive, honestly,” she points out, hip resting against the plastic side panels of his hospital bed.

“Yeah, I’m gathering that.”

“And your phone has been blowing up like crazy.”

Hotch is finally able to sit up enough and see straight without his vision swimming, to find that his agent does indeed have his cell phone in her hands.

“What?”

“Yeah, eight missed calls and three voicemails, and--” she squints at the screen before looking at him in astonished confusion, “eighty-seven missed text messages, from a whole bunch of people. I’m not reading through all of them. I didn’t know you were that popular.”

“I’m the Unit Chief, popularity has nothing to do with it,” Hotch deadpans, more himself. Wanting to reach for his phone but his arms are still dealing with pins and needles sensations, sluggish to lift and his fingers uncooperative. “Who called me eight times?”

“Let’s see,” she unlocks his phone -- somehow, god damn it Prentiss -- and scrolls through his notifications. “Two calls from Jessica, one from me, three from Strauss (Jesus), one from Dr. Reid, and one from Garcia. It doesn’t say who the voicemails are from.”

Hotch suddenly feels much more alert, his heart rate monitor picking up but he does his best not to draw attention to it, instead looking up at Prentiss as carefully guarded as he ever is.

“Dr. Reid called?” he tries to keep his voice even, and unaffected, but the aftereffects of the drugs in his system leave a little more hitch in his voice than he would have liked.

“Yeah, he’s been talking to Garcia,” Prentiss says without much comment, still scrolling through his phone and making Hotch a little more than nervous. “Busted the case wide open, and saved your life while he was at it. We never would have known you were dosed with something if he hadn’t figured it out. Think you owe that old man a fruit basket.”

“Can I have my phone back?”

“Don’t think you’re supposed to have it,” she says without looking up, still scrolling through his notifications. “Lots of junk e-mail…”

“One of those voicemails is probably Jack, I should call and let them know I’m alright,” Hotch tries to reason with her.

“He and Jess are already on their way up, they’ll land in an hour,” Prentiss tells him, but looks over her shoulder for that nurse as she makes to hand Hotch his phone anyway. Still hesitant despite her predilections to breaking every rule she can get away with.

“I still want it back,” Hotch insists, regretting saying it as soon as he does.

It catches Prentiss’ attention a little too sharply. “...why?” But at Hotch’s steady stare and solid silence, unwavering like he hadn’t just been in surgery for hours on end, she finally relents and hands it over, still giving him a suspicious look.

“It’s important,” he finally admits, when she doesn’t stop staring for a good couple of minutes. Those perfectly shaped eyebrows raise near to her hairline, the profiler in her connecting more dots than should be humanly possible.

A small smile teases her lips, though not fully forming there. “Now I wish I’d read them.”

Hotch just gives her a reprimanding look of his own, but it’s short lived.

“Thank you, for staying.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Prentiss assures him, her smile going softer. “I’ll leave you to your mystery woman.” A beat, another raised eyebrow. “Person.” A knowing look, but then she exits and Hotch is able to look at his phone at his own discretion.

Hotch goes through the text messages with a brief glance; there’s so many of them. Other agents and agencies, his team in a group chat Garcia had started, Jessica left fifteen before someone got a hold of her, and Jack’s school sending reminders about soccer and parent teacher conferences.

But 39 are from Spencer, and his heart constricts in his chest at the worry he must have caused the man. Aches next to the scars on his chest and the blood that doesn’t belong to him in his veins. And somewhere in the recesses of his mind, it’s coupled with a torturous feeling of longing. Even subtle jealousy, because even half drugged out of his mind Hotch hadn’t missed the precise word choices Prentiss used. Garcia has been talking to Spencer -- talking.

Garcia got to hear him.

She talked to Spencer, when he still hadn’t, because of some unspoken rule Hotch isn’t even sure when they decided upon. He still knew so little about the man, and Spencer’s voice could tell him so much with just a few words. He could fill volumes with what he would learn from just a single message --

Without much further thought, Hotch pulls up his voice mail. Listens to the automated voices and the three messages there. None are from Spencer, although his heart had beat a little harder in anticipation -- enough his heart monitor beeped audibly next to him. Embarrassing as that was, like a lovestruck teenager. He’d glared at it and centered his breathing until his heart rate slowed back down, not wanting to alert the nurses station. Two of the voicemails are from Jessica’s phone, one of her worried out of her mind, and the other of Jack telling him they are coming to see him and he hopes he feels better soon. Just listening to his son speak more strongly than his aunt had or anyone else should in his situation, telling his daddy he loves him while the sounds of a commercial airline filter through the background, makes Hotch want to smile and sob all at once.

The last voicemail is from Garcia, telling him a similar story to what Prentiss had earlier, but with a bit more detail on her end. How ‘Dr. Reid’ called her out of the blue, because there had been no time for his usual emails, and gave them the information that saved his life. He’d been working the case diligently, ever since, and was checking up on him a lot. More than a lot. ‘Let him know you’re okay, when you wake up and get this. The poor guy is worried sick, and my updates only give him so much comfort.’

Spencer had actually called Garcia, when he hasn’t physically spoken to anyone in Quantico the entire time he’s consulted for them, just to save a few precious seconds to relay what he’d found. He’d even broken their rule, probably before hand, and called Hotch -- just to make sure he was okay. Hadn’t stopped working to help, the moment he found out he wasn’t.

It’s a strange thought, that if not for Spencer -- Hotch would be dead. That Jack would be flying up here for a very different reason.

Hotch switches over to the text messages with a lump in his throat. Not at all prepared, emotionally, but needing to know.

The 39 messages start from the night before, when they were supposed to have had their usual online chess date. They range from playful banter, teasing edged in worry, and escalate to panic as the night wears on. Anxious worry bleeding through the single sentences, building and building until that lump in his throat feels like it might block off all air soon.

Please be okay.

God, that alone starts to set a tone -- and reveals something Hotch hadn’t expected to find. Those three words give way to his speech pathology training, and all indicate that Spencer is… very likely younger than he’d originally thought. Some of Hotch’s assumptions might be close, even the teasing ones he’d only said because he’d been sure they were wrong. The other man is obviously beyond worried about him, as well. Petrified, despite knowing the risks of his job. They had become so close the past few months, were most definitely past the flirting stage and into something so tentative and wonderful Hotch can barely believe it some days. But they had never talked about this, about the possibility that Hotch might walk into a situation one day and not walk back out of it.

Spencer’s messages soon give way to him just… talking at Hotch. Relaying what was happening, philosophical rants meant to ease his own mind and Hotch finds himself smiling softly at the man’s constant stream of thought, lectures at genius levels that he still feels so compelled to share with Hotch. Because they are that close. They really, truly, are -- and it brightens the fluttering feeling in his chest all the more. How Spencer is trying, subliminally, to draw Hotch back to the light. Three thousand miles away.

Please come back.

Hotch hears it loud and clear, the come back to me. Even unwritten. And it makes his heart skip a beat, aching as it does.

Then…

[]9/23, 15:49[] I’ve thought of something.

[]9/23, 15:52[] I’m 29.

Hotch doesn’t understand, at first. But then it hits him.

Years.

29 years.

Spencer is 29 years old. Proven, further, by the following messages sent after that.

[]9/23, 15:56[] I’m a certified child prodigy, on a registry and everything. I graduated high school at just twelve years old, and had my first Ph.D. by 15. Youngest in CalTech history.

29.

Jesus Christ, no wonder he hadn’t wanted to tell Hotch his age. 29 is… far younger than he expected.

When Spencer was born, Hotch was getting his driver’s license. 16 years difference in age…

He keeps reading, despite the numb aftermath of a bomb going off inside his head, trying to process it and also hear the younger man out.

Younger. Spencer is 16 years younger than Hotch, and he finds himself scrubbing at his face to try and wake himself up further as he reads what Spencer sent.

[]9/23, 15:57[] I turn 30 at the end of October, and I was trying to wait until then to tell you.

[]9/23, 16:00[] I’ve noticed a prominent dynamic shift in perception, between listing my age as in my 20’s and ‘almost 30’. It’s a numerical allusion our brains can’t help. You hear 29, you think 21. It happens with decades, too, once someone is outside the familial range of 10 years. +/- either side.

[]9/23, 16:02[] An age gap doesn’t sound as bad when I’m 30. That’s why I wanted to wait, just a little while longer, but if that universal affirmation phenomenon actually works for us -- I don’t mind dealing with the consequences.

[]9/23, 16:03[] Just please come back.

[]9/23, 16:07[] Please be okay.

[]9/23, 16:10[] I miss you.

His heart is about to be ripped to shreds.

Hotch feels terrible, because Spencer is right. 29 sounds so young, and it keeps repeating in his head over and over. But 29 isn’t the same as 21, he isn’t some college student still stumbling around trying to figure out his life. He has five Ph.D.’s, runs three departments at one of the best universities in the country, is consulted by the FBI and Homeland Security and very obviously has a reputation he upholds to the highest regard. Hotch had guessed Spencer was 32 not so long ago, what was the big difference between that and his actual age? From what little Spencer just shared of his life story, he’s never gotten to be a kid, so who was Hotch to consider him one? What gave him the right to be floored by this, did it actually change what he thought of Spencer? How he felt about him only moments prior to reading that?

I miss you. Come back. Please be okay.

I’m 29.

It could be the recent flirtation with death, the anesthesia or the morphine, even the gratitude that Hotch will get to see his son again and not leave him without both his parents -- there’s so many reasons for him to take pause as he considers the messages in front of him.

But it feels a lot like the months of talking, and the countless late nights spent together, that pile up and up in his chest. A rising pressure that reminds Hotch that he and Spencer have something, and it’s not a normal, regular situation for either of them. Something that precedent, and everything Hotch has ever been told to hold to standard, doesn’t seem to fit. He and Spencer don’t seem to fit, when looked at afar or even on paper -- but they do. They really do. It was never supposed to be something that could be this easy, or normal in any capacity.

But what about their lives ever was?

[]9/23, 18:26[] I’m so sorry I worried you.

[]9/23, 18:26[] I miss you, too.

[]9/23, 18:27[] If I stop answering you, the nurse took my phone away. I hate hospitals.

[]9/23, 18:29[] Hotch, you scared me to death.

[]9/23, 18:30[] I know, I’m sorry.

[]9/23, 18:31[] From what I heard, you saved my life.

[]9/23, 18:33[] I don’t even know how to begin thanking you for that.

[]9/23, 18:36[] Just get better.

[]9/23, 18:38[] Which means resting, don’t glare at your nurses too much. They’re there to help you.

There’s a long stretch of a pause in their correspondence, which picks up so smooth and easy it’s as if they had never stopped. Like the last few days hadn’t happened at all. But they had, they were both looking at the messages to prove that. He does take pause, maybe more than he should, and Hotch knows miles away Spencer is just as nervous. Staring at his phone.

Hotch isn’t wrong. Spencer let out such an exclamation of relief at Hotch’s name on his notifications he about sobbed with it. He never cries, hasn’t in years -- but his eyes sting with relief and worry and… an emotion he doesn’t want to name.

[]9/23, 18:44[] What day is your birthday?

[]9/23, 18:45[] October 28th.

[]9/23, 18:45[] Same week as mine. November 2nd.

Hotch pauses, again, considers his next response… and 3,000 miles away Spencer can barely blink as he stares at his phone with mounting dread.

[]9/23, 18:49[] I understand why you didn’t want to tell me. It’s alright.

[]9/23, 18:51[] Am I correct in assuming you’ve never been in a relationship with this much of an age gap?

It takes Hotch a moment to even gather the courage to type that out and send it. Knows it sounds almost too formal, for them, but Hotch also knows that he and Spencer are balanced on the edge of a knife, here, and… no matter what the outcome, everything is about to change between them.

Spencer licks his lips in nervousness, reading the line over and over although he has no need to. It feels like a tipping point, and he’s still… terrified this will be his last conversation with Hotch outside of case work. Ever.

[]9/23, 18:55[] Never.

[]9/23, 18:57[] I haven’t had many relationships at all. My peer groups have always been older than me, and people my own age never understood me enough to be interested. So it’s just something I was used to, going without.

[]9/23, 18:59[] This has been… the closest thing to what I’ve been told is normal that I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never had the chance to have something like this with someone, or connect in this way. I gave up, for a long while there.

[]9/23, 19:01[] I’ve been in a similar situation before, on an intellectual spectrum.

[]9/23, 19:03[] I’ve never--

Hotch pauses, again, putting his thoughts in order. Weighing it all, before taking that final leap. Spencer waiting with baited breath, all the more.

But Hotch doesn’t regret what he sends. Not one bit.

[]9/23, 19:03[] I’ve never dated anyone younger than me like this, before, so we’ll both be on a learning curve.

[]9/23, 19:03[] But we will figure it out. Together.

Spencer’s breath catches, and he can’t seem to release it again. He can’t believe what he’s reading. What Hotch has sent him.

He said ‘dated’.

He thought they were dating. Spencer isn’t quite sure he can trust his own eyes, despite the words being there in stark black and white on his phone screen.

[]9/23, 19:06[] Dating?

Hotch smiles, because he just knows -- from that single word text -- that Spencer has sent it not in admonishment or anything negative of the sort. But in hope. Confident that he recognizes the nuance in Spencer's voice even without ever having heard it, Hotch just knows, and it makes warmth blossom anew in his chest. Sends his heart rate monitor skittering across the machine all over again.

[]9/23, 19:08[] Hate to be the one to tell you, but all of those late nights where we talked for hours instead of playing chess? Those were dates.

Spencer has his hand over his mouth, still in disbelief that he hadn’t… fucked this up beyond repair. That his age hadn’t been the deal breaker he’d feared so vehemently for months now. That everything is still as it was, age difference and life-threatening situation, aside.

They were dating. All this time.

[]9/23, 19:10[] I should have worn nicer clothes.

Hotch laughs at his phone at the same time Spencer laughs at his own, having reread what he’d sent.

3,000 miles away, and their quiet laughter coincides perfectly.

[]9/23, 19:11[] Our next one I’m sure I’ll be in a hospital gown, so I think you’re in the clear.

[]9/23, 19:12[] Sounds like you’re making plans, already.

[]9/23, 19:12[] You still need rest.

[]9/23, 19:14[] Well, I have to thank you somehow. And, I saw something about poker instead of chess? I’m actually not bad at poker.

[]9/23, 19:15[] … you remember I’m from Vegas, right?

[]9/23, 19:16[] We’ll play for fake money.

[]9/23, 19:18[] No such thing.

[]9/23, 19:19[] I do play for favors, though.

[]9/23, 19:19[] Oh?

Hotch feels a wild, youthful thing unfurl in his chest as he types away. Mischievous, almost, in a way he only gets when he and Spencer are hours deep into conversations in the middle of the night. But it’s broad daylight, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too wide. Getting lost in the thrill of it all. In the officiality of it, now, and another curtain unveiled between them.

[]9/23, 19:20[] Did you have something in mind?

Spencer has to be blushing seven shades of red, right about now, and he hides his face from his phone for a moment before he realizes how ridiculous that is -- Hotch can’t see him. He can stop messaging the man any time he wants to.

Except he doesn’t want to.

[]9/23, 19:24[] I’ll get back to you.

Hotch can’t help it as he grins at his phone. A wry, suggestive thing, but he manages to school it before a passing nurse can see him -- how his eyes are alight with possibility. With elation, just from talking to the younger man that had seemed to capture a part of him he thought wasn’t available to anyone any more, and types out one last -- slightly more flirtatious subtext to put a cap on their conversation. To indicate he’s awaiting more, always wanting a little more of Dr. Spencer Reid.

He can blame it on the morphine, later.

[]9/23, 19:25[] Looking forward to it.

(tbc...)

Tagged List: @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

#I legit added like 1500 words while editing this afternoon so I'm hella worried it's convoluted but HERE IT IS #Getting this show on the ROAD #cross your fingers and pray I have this damn tumblr formatting thing figured out #hope you enjoy everyone I love ALL OF YOU #super duper long chapter #Correspondence #HotchReid #Heid #Updates on Saturdays hit me up if you want in on the tag list #katyswriting

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