#DID I STILL NOT SEE THAT HE HAS GRAY EYELIDS???

[strawglicks]

WHY DID I THINK FOR ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR NOW THAT FLINTS EYELIDS ARE BROWN?????

[lilasamaaa]

Ignorance is bliss | Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre | Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

Word count | 3K.

Warnings | Brief mentions of sexual activities, panic attack, Max and reader get in a fight.

Summary | Max and you have been dating for several months, and everything is going well. Except when paparazzi start chasing you for no reason. Is your boyfriend hiding something from you?

Author's note | This was requested by @butterflyexe ! Thank you lovely for the great idea! I tweaked it a bit though, so I hope you like it! I loved writing this piece but again, sorry for the crippling angst lmao 🥲 Not proofread as usual, oopsie

The doorbell of your apartment rings, and you leap off your couch, opening the door and throwing yourself into your boyfriend's arms.

"Oh, wow," Max says, pressing a kiss to your head. "Did you know it was me or do you throw yourself into the arms of everyone who rings your doorbell?" he adds, laughing.

"Of course I knew it was you," you reply, laughing too. "I've been waiting for you all week. And I noted that your flight was landing an hour ago, so it lined up," you explain, taking his hand and leading him to the couch, where you both sit down.

Max looks tired, the bags under his eyes casting blue and gray shades on his pale skin. He moves to lie down on the couch, resting his head on your thighs, closing his eyes.

"How was the work trip?" you ask, playing with his hair.

"It was great," he finally replies, opening his eyes and meeting yours. "Quite tiring, but interesting. It was nice to, erm. See my colleagues again," he says.

"I still can't believe your company paid for the trip all the way to Australia," you whisper as Max closes his eyes again under your caresses. "If I had known the automotive industry required you to travel that much, I would have applied for the job."

Max doesn't respond, simply taking one of your hand in his and gently stroking your knee with the other.

"You must feel so out of it with the jet lag..." you continue, concerned. "It's a good thing they gave you a few days to rest. When are you expected back at work?"

"Not until next week," Max says, playing with the rings on your fingers.

"And you said you're going to Japan after? That's such a weird ass schedule," you say, making him laugh. "I feel like you travel more than most influencers... Or even athletes," you state, making him open an eye.

"Perks of the job," Max says before planting a soft kiss on your lips, and standing up. "Can I borrow your shower?"

"Of course! You know the way," you wink at him, heading towards the kitchen. "I'll fix us something to eat in the meantime."

Sitting at the small table in your kitchen, illuminated by a few candles and the lights of the city outside, Max devours the plate you placed in front of him a few minutes ago. You silently observe him, both fascinated by the man before you and disturbed by a thought that has plagued you in his absence.

"I've been thinking," you start, making your boyfriend look up.

"Yeah? Tell me," he says, covering your hand with his.

"How come I've never been to your place?"

Max stops chewing, his light eyes fixated on yours.

"I didn't know you wanted to?" he replies, brows furrowed.

"Well I've never asked to, but isn't that how it usually works in a relationship? Once at mine, once at yours?"

"I'm sorry," Max replies. "I didn't realize it was important to you."

You suddenly feel guilty and squeeze your boyfriend's hand, giving him a warm smile.

"Forget it, sorry," you say, getting up to rinse your plate. "That was stupid. You're right, we're fine here."

After dinner, you and Max settle on the couch again, watching some show on Netflix. When you notice Max fighting against sleep, his eyelids heavy and his breath short, you grab the remote before turning off the TV. The sudden silence jolts him awake, and you laugh before pulling him by the arm and leading him down to your bedroom. You make a quick stop in the bathroom to remove your makeup and brush your teeth and, when you come back to the room, you find Max fast asleep under the covers. The sight is endearing. You press a kiss on his forehead before settling next to him, your cold body against his already warm one.

The next morning, you wake up alone in a cold bed. A familiar smell tickles your nostrils, and you make your way to the kitchen, your eyes still heavy with sleep.

"Good morning!" Max says, already dressed up, and looking much fresher than yesterday. "I made us breakfast."

"Wow, that's so sweet of you," you say before sitting at the table, taking a hot pancake from the plate in front of you.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep so fast yesterday," your boyfriend starts again. "To make it up to you, I'd like to take you out to lunch."

The offer takes you by surprise, and you stare at your boyfriend, mouth agape. It's been five months since you started seeing each other. Five months since you bumped into him by chance at the Monte Carlo casino while you were out dining with friends. Five months of being inseparable, but also five months of very limited outings. Max travels a lot for work, and you don't necessarily have the means to go out regularly in Monaco. Most of the moments you share therefore take place within the four walls of your apartment, and you're thrilled to get some fresh air with him for once.

"You seem happy," he says, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I am!" you say, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Where are we going?"

"What about Nobu?" Max says.

"What? Max, that's way too expensive," you reply, furrowing your brows.

"It doesn't really matter, given I'll be the one paying."

"No way," you say. "We're splitting the bill. And I'm not paying three grands for some sushis, as delicious as everyone claim they are."

"They really are. So please, let me do this for you. Just this once? I can afford it," your boyfriend says, making you frown.

His words remind you that you don't know what your boyfriend does for a living. He's talked to you about cars, mechanics, but you're having trouble understanding what kind of job in the automotive industry requires so much traveling around the world. A job that apparently pays very well, given the restaurants he frequents. Realizing there's no point in arguing and not wanting to pick a fight with Max, you simply nod, lips pressed together. However, you're counting on one last point to escape the pricey restaurant and hopefully eat elsewhere. Somewhere more affordable.

"Well, if you insist," you finally say, popping a strawberry in your mouth. "I doubt we'll get a table for noon, though," you add. "I heard you have to book months in advance."

"Don't worry about that," Max says, stroking your cheek. "I need to stop by my place real quick before, can we meet there?"

Two hours later, you're sitting at one of the finest tables at Nobu, facing the sea. The fuck just happened, you think, watching your boyfriend immersed in the menu with a raised eyebrow. How? Before you have time to question it further, a waiter brings two champagne flutes and a bottle in a Nobu-stamped ice bucket to your table before hurrying away, thanking you two profusely for coming.

"Did you order this?" you ask Max, making him look up.

"No, I didn't. That's so kind of them."

"What the actual fuck, Max?" you snap, eyes wide. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" your boyfriend asks.

"Did you somehow not notice how everyone's been bending over backward for us since we walked in? I think the waitress behind you hasn't taken her eyes off us for the past thirty minutes. And since when do they bring champagne to people who haven't ordered anything?" you say with a worried look. "Are they confusing us for someone?"

"Why are you so worried?" Max asks, giving you a look that's meant to be reassuring but just looks uncomfortable. "Just enjoy the moment. And the view."

You sit back in your chair, biting the inside of your cheek. Something isn't right. You can feel it. Max adjusts one of his hair strands, and the sleeve of his shirt slips down slightly, revealing a watch you've never seen before. It takes you a few seconds to recognize the model, and when you do, your heart skips a beat.

"Is this a new watch?" you ask, trying to act nonchalant.

"What? Oh, yeah. Bought it in Melbourne."

"You casually bought a Rolex Daytona?" you ask, tilting your head.

"I didn't know you knew about watches," Max says, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

"You don't need to know about watches to know that this model costs almost a hundred thousand euros," you say, eyes boring into his.

The tension at the table has risen a notch, none of you uttering a word. As an anxious waiter places several plates in front of you, you glance around, suddenly realizing something you hadn't noticed before, absorbed in your conversation with your boyfriend.

"There's no one here," you say, still looking around. "It's noon on a Saturday, and the restaurant is empty."

Max sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I know," he finally says, carefully meeting your gaze. "I wanted us to have some peace."

"What? What did you do?"

"I've privatized the restaurant," he says.

"How did you do that?" you ask, unintentionally raising your voice.

"I paid," Max simply says, grabbing a sushi.

"How much?"

"Several thousands!" Max almost shouts, making you wince. "What's up with all your questions?"

You're completely lost. You don't recognize the man you've been seeing for the past five months. The man who comes to your place by foot, usually in sweatpants, who spends evenings watching Netflix with you. Taking baths with you. Passionately making love to you. You have no idea who this new man is, covered in expensive clothes and accessories, on whom all heads turn and who raises whispers as he passes by.

"Who the fuck are you?" you simply ask, feeling your eyes start to water.

"Baby," Max says, finally realizing how uncomfortable and lost you are. "Please, can we just enjoy the meal? I'll answer all your questions at your place. I'll explain everything, but please. Let's not make a scene," he implores.

You swallow hard, staring at the ceiling to dry the tears in the corners of your eyes. For the rest of the meal, Max talks, telling you about his trip, about his life. You politely answer the few questions your boyfriend asks you, remaining silent the rest of the time. You don't even have an appetite anymore, having swallowed three sushi pieces before your stomach threatened to turn.

At the end of the meal, Max slips a credit card into the folder that a waiter has placed on the table, then adds three hundred-dollar bills. Tip, you think. More than what I earn in a day of work. The price of discretion, probably. The waiter leaves with the folder before coming back, and just as he's about to ask for something, Max shots him a look that makes him close his mouth. Your boyfriend thanks the young man before walking around the table, extending a hand that you grasp to rise as well. You thank the still-empty restaurant staff, giving them a genuine smile despite the anxiety twisting your stomach. Max opens the door for you, and you walk out on the street, thanking him.

For a moment, you curse yourself for forgetting your sunglasses at home, as the Monaco sun blinds you instantly. You blink in surprise, but your blindness persists as Max grabs your wrist and pushes you behind him. You try to open your eyes, but flashes keep assaulting you, and it takes you a few seconds to realize that they're coming from huge cameras pointed just inches away from your face.

"Max?"' you ask with a high-pitched voice, starting to panic.

Max turns around, pressing you against him and covering your eyes as he guides you through the screaming crowd. People push you in all directions, pressing against you, touching your arms, your face, crumpling your clothes. Screaming. At first, you can't make sense of what the voices are shouting, with all your senses being overwhelmed. But suddenly, you hear it. Max. They're screaming his name. Max looks up, and a new series of flashes burn your retinas as your boyfriend holds you even tighter against him, one arm around your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," you hear him say among the voices.

"What's happening?" you ask, panting.

And, then, you feel it. The panic attack. Even though you've never experienced one before, you immediately understand what's happening to you. You recognize the signs. Your legs give way, and you have to cling to Max to keep from falling to your knees. Your heart rate and breath quicken until they're suffocating, while tears stream down your cheeks.

"I can't breathe," you croak, so weakly that you're not even sure if Max heard you.

"Hang on, baby," your boyfriend says, still walking. "We're almost at the car."

The flashes continue, and so do your tears. Max grips you as tightly as he can, shielding your face, lifting you halfway to help you walk. After a few seconds, the longest of your life, you hear a car door open, and Max gently pushes you into his car before closing the door and jumping in. He wastes no time in starting the engine, cutting through the crowd, disappearing into the alleys of Monaco.

You don't say a word. You're unable to speak. Unable to breathe. Still trembling. Crying. You don't realize it, but Max struggles to tear his eyes away from your body, which seems so small, so battered at this moment. He doesn't speak either, biting his lips until it draws blood. He hates himself. He knows he'll regret making you go through this for a long time. But now, all he can do is explain. Lay all the cards on the table. Something he should have done a long time ago.

The journey seems to last an eternity until you catch sight of a gigantic building, and Max drives into an underground parking. He parks the car and rushes out, opening your door, helping you out. You're still in shock, and Max supports you as he guides you to an elevator. A few seconds later, after twist of his keys, you find yourself in a vast penthouse overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. You don't even have the strength to ask questions anymore. To ask where you are. You sit down on the large couch, wiping the tears from your cheeks. Trying to calm your breathing.

Max watches you, standing at the foot of the couch. Bewildered. Not even daring to come close to you. The two of you stand in silence a few moments, until he finally speaks.

"I know it won't fix anything. But I'm truly, sincerely sorry."

You don't reply, head low. playing with the rings on your finger.

"I owe you some explanations."

No reply.

"I'm a Formula 1 driver."

You finally look up, and the mascara streaks on your cheeks squeeze his heart in the worst way.

"I should have told you earlier. I should have warned you, but I couldn't. With you, I discovered normalcy. Anonymity. I discovered what it was live to have an ordinary life, away from the hustle, the stress, the constant judgment."

"So you knew how precious it was," you say, squinting your eyes. "And yet, you chose to expose me to all of those things."

"I hadn't planned for it to happen. I didn't want it to happen. I tried."

"I can't do this," you reply, feeling fresh tears roll down your cheeks.

Seeing you cry again, Max sits on the couch, pulling you close to him as another sob shakes your body.

"Why?" you ask, crying. "Why did you let me fall in love with the person I thought you were?"

Each of your words, each of your sobs break his heart a little more, but he takes it. He knows your anger is justified. Deserved.

"Because I loved you too. And I didn't want this to stop."

"You lied to me," you say between two sobs. "I trusted you. I trusted you so much."

It's too much. Even for him. A tear runs down his cheek. Max wipes it away angrily.

"If you never want to see me again, I understand. I'll come get my things. I'll erase your number. I won't stand in the way of you living a normal life, of finding love with someone normal. You deserve the best, even if it's not with me."

You hate him.

You despise him for having been himself, his most vulnerable self, with you. For charming you with his awkwardness, his foreign accent, his somewhat strict manners. You hate him for being the perfect man for you. You hate him for making your heart beat so strongly. But above all, you hate him for building your love on a lie, on fragile foundations doomed to collapse and sweep you both away in the wreckage.

"I hate you," you sob, making his heart stop. "And I hate myself even more. For not being able to let you go."

"Baby", he says, moving to kneel in front of you. "If you give me this chance, a chance to rebuild everything with you again, I swear that nothing will ever happen to you again. I won't let anyone near you, anyone touch you. Not even a glance. I will rebuild everything around us. We'll be untouchable. Indestructible."

One month later.

"Are you ready, baby?" Max asks, meeting your gaze. "Once I post it, there's no going back."

"I think so," you say, biting on your fingernails. "Let's get this over with," you add, sitting on his knees while the driver presses a kiss to your neck, softly stroking your leg.

"Okay. Let's do this."

[bigtedbear]

" 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 "

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

content warnings: nsfw content 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝟏𝟖+, dom top male reader, bottom male character, mlm, gay sex, anal sex, anal penetration, implied mpreg, breeding kink, implied impregnation (there's existential dread washing over me as I write this wondering what my ancestors think), unsafe sex (i fear condoms don't exist yet), they're both virgins but blade definitely doesn't act like one, the reader on the other hand-, sub top reader kinda, dom bottom blade kinda hallelujah amen, they're basically just both horny losers, medieval alternate universe, monsterfucking, blade is a dragon, mating rituals, extremely brief mentions of religion/purity/chastity, i didn't tag this as yandere cause that's kinda just blade???, hey 🪷 anon,,, pov getting over blade's creepy tendencies because of his absolutely fatal face card

ADDED CONTENT WARNINGS: body piercings (nipple piercings), mentions of lactation (there's no real lactation sorry guys i have to stick to the timeline), HEAVY talk of mpreg like that's the whole premise of this part, nipple play, reader is a FREAK for his wife, it came out way softer than I meant it to????, blade is still emotionally constipated but less than usual because he's also a horny loser

" new contact noted! caller blade has been added to your phonebook! - love, operator t-19 "

NOTE: hey guys I forgot about blades pierced nipples, both my heart and the hearts of my audience were broken

the public has spoken, I'm adding on more smut that's probably gonna basically revolve around his tits will update when this has been amended 🫡

SECOND NOTE: the section has been added in, you can read it as part of the entirety of the post of just a single drabble on foreplay with blades tiddies and HEAVY discussion of mpreg

" welcome back caller 🪷! connecting your line as we speak..."

‘The atmosphere swam around you like fish in a bowl; dark, dank, musty.

The strange tension in the air pulled you into an equally strange trance. Dazed, your perception seemed to fade in and out, in and out. Fully alert one moment, your eyelids were drooping as a wave of fatigue overtook you the next. You did your best to still the shaky sense of being that rocked the environment like a cradle, opting to try and break down the situation using your individual senses.

Sight: the air was cloudy and gray, thick like a curtain. You couldn't see it, but you knew there was a fire somewhere. It was shielded by the cold stone walls and the glittering mountains of gold and jewels.

Sound: the crackle of the fire and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Ominously, the quiet “drip… drip… drip…” of an unknown source tickled your eardrums.

Smell: sulfur and smoke curled and singed the tips of your nose hairs. The unpleasantness almost completely shrouded the warmth of the smoldering firewood. Some other smell, however, also permeated the area… something strong but hidden beneath the smell of smog.

Taste: akin to bile and equally nauseating, it crawled up your throat and threatened to spill past your lips. Infused with the noteworthy copper tone, the flavor in your mouth was disgusting at best.

Touch: there was a considerable weight in your dominant hand. It drew your arm down, down, down. Metal coated every inch of your body, but you were already used to that as a knight.

You forced your arm up, revealing to yourself what you had been holding. Of course, it was your own aged, well-loved sword…

drip… drip… dripping crimson.’

As much as your body urged you to sit up straight the moment you were awake, your lackluster sleep kept your body flush against your equally lackluster bed. Thrown together with what little blankets you could manage to carry, it was too thin and too flexible to adequately support your body.

Still, despite the recurring nightmares and terrible moral dilemmas, you forced your impossibly heavy body to sit up. The tiny wisps of sunlight that peeked through the openings of your makeshift tent forced you to squint. .Calloused hands met your face, trying to wipe the tired crust out of your eyes and bring some kind of sensation to your skin.

How pathetic. A Xianzhou Luofu knight afraid of a little blood.

It was a wonder you managed to retain your position, nonetheless become the unspoken “Chosen One” among your ranks.

Sure, you were tall, imposing even, muscular and sharp-witted. But even then, all that qualified you to be a top-rank knight was equally balanced with factors that should've barred you from the position altogether.

A pacifist, an outlander, and more than just uninterested, you were not only an oddity, but an exception to many of the hiring requirements. It was a shame your chosen profession as a botanist became a long forgotten dream you only seemed to remember when you weren't patrolling (never).

Combing your fingers through your hair served as a self-soothing gesture when you became lost in your thoughts. It'd first been pointed out to you by the Arbiter General. However, as you found yourself traversing the narrow, winding passages of inner conflict, you found it impossible to get into a rhythm.

It was to be expected after a few weeks of traveling. Your body was coated in soil and your hair was no exception. It was starting to get matted and knotted, more than just difficult but near impossible to comb through.

Of course you'd washed yourself during the prior few weeks, but continual travel and no access to good soap stunted what could be washed off your body in cold streams or still ponds.

The mountains nearby actually were known for two things; natural hot springs and… that other thing. While you might have originally intended to climb the mountain for one, the other served a pleasant add-on.

…

…maybe a hot bath would help ease your mind just a little bit.

However, deciding to take a bath in a hot spring was one thing. Then came the question of how you'd find a hot spring to take a bath in. You turned the query over in your head a few times before you came to a final decision.

‘I mean, they're everywhere, aren't they? It shouldn't be too hard to find one around here.’

With the decision made, you made the effort to stumble through your usual morning routine. Making breakfast, packing up your tent, and pulling on your heavy suit of armor, you prepared for another long day scaling the mountain.

With nobody to talk to, the only voice that cut through the sounds of the mountain habitat was your internal monologue. Crushing the twigs and branches under foot, the sparsely marked path was all but forgotten as the imagery of the strange visions from your sleep dotted your vision.

It was only when you'd nearly fell into a hot spring that you seemed to wake the fuck up and stop thinking about the nonexistent blood staining your sword.

Carefully, you propped your pack on a nearby tree, shielded by some shrubbery for safe keeping. Piece by piece, you began to strip the heavy pieces of iron armor that weighed down your fatigue worn body. They dropped to the hard, arid soil.

They looked as though they were smeared with red.

You blinked, rubbing your eyes.

It was just the same armor you always donned. Free of blood, free of stains.

You chastised yourself mentally for being such a wimp. All it took to make you crack was a task and a little sleep deprivation.

When the final piece of armor hit the sparse grass, you were left in the thin shirt and worn pair of trousers. Carefully, you unlaced the drawstrings at your collar, hastily tugging your shirt off to lay on the dirt. You kicked off your shoes and peeled off your socks next. Despite being all alone in the mountains, for fear of being watched, you crept closer to the water before beginning to unbuckle your belt.

The warm water on your skin was a luxury you seldom had the fortune to indulge in; one you hadn't indulged in since leaving. Sinking into the depths of the tide, your eyes fluttered shut. Finally, what greeted you in the darkness of your mind wasn't the visage of murder scene.

Originally, you’d chosen to bask in the warmth of the natural hot spring to clear your mind. Your task and the blood that would be on your hands… it weighed heavy on your conscience.

Observing the abundance of flora that decorated the banks of the water, you managed to strangle an eerie serenity you’d thought you’d lost. Sitting against the rocks and letting the soft slosh of the waves wash the muck and mire off your body, the tension building in your muscles finally seemed to release just a little bit.

Still, when your hands shook while brushing through the knots in your hair. Something unsettling resting at the bottom of your stomach told you not to get too comfortable.

Why did it feel like someone was watching you?

It took a day and a half to find the entrance to the cave.

For holding such a strong, looming beast in its walls, the opening to the nest wasn’t nearly as imposing as you’d imagined it to be. It made sense, thinking about it objectively. It wasn’t as though the dragon was trying to be found…

Still, you considered that perhaps it would’ve wanted to set up some kind of deterrent to all those that dared to enter.

With a heavy heart, you laid your possessions off to the side of the opening in the stone, taking the first few lumbering steps into the opening.

It was more than just eerie how similar the inner workings of the dragon’s den were to the visions you'd been having. Like some kind of prophet, the sights, the smells, the sounds, even the weight of your sword in your hand from your dream were like they were ripped straight from this moment in time exactly.

It was difficult to be quiet. The spilling piles of metal trinkets and gold coins littered the floor and clinked against the pieces of armor that adorned your figure.

Still, creeping in deeper to the cave, you came to a strange realization.

The dragon’s den was empty.

Despite knowing you were afforded the unique opportunity to have the upperhand in enemy territory, it didn’t seem to calm your anxious heart in the slightest. Instead, a new anxiety wrapped your pulse like a parasite.

You didn’t know why.

Up until this point, you attributed your nerves to fear of inadequacy. You were a head taller than the rest of the Cloud Knights, you worked hard for your position, but hard work did not equal competence.

Patrols were worlds away from dragon slaying. The worst you’d had to deal with was the occasional thief, a dispute in the squares, you weren’t killing mythical beasts on the daily. Relatively speaking, you were still at the very beginning of your life as a long-life species. You were a novice—a baby–in comparison to any of your superiors.

Stalking up the mountain, the weight of your sword was perpetually heavy in your hands because you felt you hadn’t earned the right to wield it.

But now, here you were.

There was a golden opportunity served to you on a platter, an ambush. You could sneak up on the dragon, free its head from its shoulders and return from the mountain a hero.

So why were you suddenly even more scared than before?

Why could you not just appreciate this blessing bestowed upon your shoulders?

As more and more doubts started to cloud your mind, you could feel your breathing start to pick up.

Aeons, this entire thing was becoming far too real.

You could pretend you were just going on some other trip while you were hiking up the side of the mountain. You could pretend this was just some training exercise when you laid down in your makeshift shelter at night. But right now? Right now, it seemed like reality was starting to set in.

You were inside of the dragon’s lair. You were inside of the den.

The light from somewhere deeper in the stone maze flickered and tickled the underbelly of the smoke and smog that hung heavy in the air. The shiny piles of gold that seemed to decorate every wall were almost mockingly bright. Even when you closed your eyes, the outline of the giant glittering heaps of extravagance traced the darkness behind your eyelids.

Rather quickly you came to the conclusion that you were hyperventilating. The grip on your weapon became harder to maintain as the influx of breath caused your vision to swim.

Still, when you heard a noise at the other end of the cavern, you ceased at once.

The shoddy handle you had on your sword suddenly became bone crushingly tight. You cringed at the noise of steel handguards scraping the metal handhold.

Soon enough, the shrill screech was nothing but a distant memory as the room was swarmed with the curious sound of rushing air. The thick, dark smoke that hung like a cloud was suddenly moving in a frenzy, rushing about like it had somewhere to be. Instead of clearing up, it seemed the moving smoke only further clouded your vision.

Your free arm came up to try and keep it out of your eyes. You screwed your feet to the sticking plate, remaining in stance and trying to figure out what exactly you were hearing beyond the opening of the dragon’s den.

The pit of dread forming in your stomach took a steep turn for the worse when you realized exactly what you were hearing.

The flapping of giant wings drew closer to the entrance of the cave and suddenly your previous courage started to dissipate into nothingness. You might have seen the dragon from afar when it came to ambush the treasury before, but the sound it was making now made it seem as though it was the size of the entire castle.

Taking a much stronger liking to your former ambush plans, you shuffled to one of the few exposed walls in the ever winding corridors of stone.

Good gods, the sounds were getting even closer now.

Both hands gripped the handle of your rather large weapon, the shriek of metal against metal all but drowned out by the louder and louder beating of your heart against your eardrums.

‘THUD!’

Your heart jumped into your throat.

The smoke began to settle again.

You forced your breathing to do the same.

You waited…

…and waited…

…and waited some more…

…but curiously…

…you didn't hear anything.

You realized something was wrong, but it took you a few more breathing cycles to actually solidify your resolve to check.

‘One…

Two…

Three!’

Cautiously, you peeled your back off the wall as quietly as possible. Despite your best efforts, there was a just barely audible scrape of stone against the back of your metal shin guards. Your face twisted with displeasure.

Still, nothing.

Waiting for another moment, you finally turned the corner and peeped just beyond the wall and back to the entrance of the cave.

The beast heaved through its nose as evidenced by the smoke billowing out of its nostrils. Its wings curled into its sides, but with the uncanny angling of the bones, the posture they had taken was awkward and forced.

It was about then you noticed the glaringly obvious problem the dragon had been confronted with.

A comically oversized crossbow arrow lodged where its ribs should've been. Grimly, you recognized the arrow to belong to the Zhuming. A clawed foot rested over the injury, most likely trying to feel for a solution of some kind.

Based on its current predicament, it was failing miserably.

Before you could even process what you were seeing, there was a blinding flash of light that forced you to shield your eyes. When you finally lowered your arm, you had to blink a few times to process what you were seeing.

In the previous position of the dragon, sat a man.

…but he was also obviously the dragon?

Long curled horns atop the crown of his head, a long serpentine tail dragging behind him on the ground, he heaved the same smoke and cradled the same injury.

Despite your reservations, you approached.

Sword heavy in your hand, you dropped it clattering to the ground.

That was when the man locked eyes with you.

Dragons were slowly beginning to die out.  

Of course, that was only natural when their usual courting rituals involved pissing off every other species known to man.  The larger the stash of gold, the more desirable a dragon would be to another.  The more valuable the gold, the harder it would be to steal. 

One would think this wouldn’t apply to Blade, a dragon with little to no interest in settling down.  However, at his core he was still a dragon and he still felt the need to build his own little stash of gold for peace of mind. 

What little dragons were left in the world had exactly zero appeal to him.  The proud, strong ones had all been eliminated by technology and weaponry far beyond the capabilities of a singular beast.   The only ones that seemed to be left were those that took to hiding and settling for paltry sums that served more as a courtesy than something that would draw a potential match in naturally. 

He frowned upon it entirely.  

Blade seemed to be the only dragon left in the Xianzhou with the upright morals that made up the core belief system of the species as a whole.  But because of his own steadfast values, he also seemed to be the only dragon that refused to form a bond with one of his own. 

He had never known the comfort of another, never. 

Yet when he awoke, he found himself atop a nest of soft blankets.  Blinking away the fatigue from his eyelids, he was greeted with the visage of a man at rest.

Half stripped of armor, a few meters away from him, a knight polished his breastplate while watching something roasting over a fire.  Completely at peace in the tranquility of the silence, (e/c) eyes sparkled in the low light against the dreary atmosphere of the cave. 

The smell of meat stunk up the corridor with an aroma enticing enough for Blade’s mouth to water.  His clawed hands searched for some kind of purchase against the fluff of the comforters you'd laid him on as piercing red eyes swept his cave.  

Your sword was nowhere to be seen.  

Why?

Blade would've asked if he wasn’t already in an extremely compromised position.  

You hadn’t even done anything to him, he had been incapacitated in his own home without you having to so much as raise a finger.  You had been sent to kill him, even if you had chosen to do the exact opposite as of now, he didn’t know if or when you would feel the need to go back on your silent promise not to hurt him. 

As he went to lay his tousled hair back against the blankets you’d laid out on the cave floor, embarrassingly, he misjudged the stability of his arms.  With an even more embarrassingly loud–but muted–thud, his clawed fingers slipped against the fabric and his face hit the comforter just a second later. 

The noise cracked the little moment you were having by the fire roasting meat over the open flame.  Your eyes trailed over to where he was laying, basically completely still.  He hoped that if he played dead, you wouldn’t comment on him falling back onto the makeshift mattress. Unfortunately, his prayers went unanswered. 

“Careful,” you admonished him gently, “I just stitched up the puncture, if you strain too much, I’ll have to do it again and you probably won’t be asleep this time.” 

Still, instead of coddling him like a baby, you turned back to the shiny piece of metal in your lap reflecting the impassioned red hues of the fire.  With a damp rag, you swept over each and every scratch and dent with a special precision and care Blade was both unfamiliar and uncomfortable with. 

Still, despite the idea being completely foreign to him and the soft nausea that rocked his gut with the unfamiliar trepidation, he found it difficult to pry his eyes away from your hands. 

You used your fingernail to pick at the larger pieces of dirt, otherwise pressing the pads of your fingertips to the rag to wipe and wipe until the heavy armor shined.   This, Blade wasn’t unfamiliar with.  The gleam of the metal mirrored the mounds of spoils he’d managed to snag from the surrounding kingdoms.  After you finished with the breastplate, the rag and the plate were set to the side in favor of grabbing a dagger strapped to your thigh. 

To this, the man sprawled on the sheets visibly seemed to cringe and crumple in on himself.  

He was increasingly vulnerable: you knew this. 

You really didn’t want to infantilize him, he was a feared predator and someone who far outmatched you in terms of experience and wisdom.  You brandished the dagger as you would’ve any other times, but avoided making any sudden movements. 

You cut into the rather large slab of meat carefully, observing the color of the meat and the feeling of the muscle under the edge of the knife.  

Satisfied with the hue and smell of the meat, you stomped a boot onto the pile of leaves you’d used to establish the fire.  The dragon was visibly alarmed by the sudden loud noise, but you paid him no mind.  Instead, you removed the stake you’d been using to roast the meat from the precarious stand you’d painstakingly crafted. 

Using the dagger once again, the goat meat you’d be salting and seasoning for a couple days slid off the stick you’d whittled down with ease.   You dropped the generous flank steak in front of the observing party.  You sheathed the dagger in its holster on your thigh once again, dropping back onto the stone you’d turned into a makeshift stool.  

It took Blade a moment to realize that the portion of meat was for him.  His mouth watered at the smell, especially since the hide had been pierced and the true aroma of the seasonings began to mingle with meat.  He poked at it carefully with a taloned finger.  

You watched him prod at the food, crossing your arms in front of your your chest as you observed.

“...”

“...”

Finally, the other man pulled himself to sit up.  Dragging the meal into his lap, he began to eat. 

Once again, you watched him with a nonchalance that sent the hairs on the back of Blade’s neck standing up. 

After he finished eating, you seemed to turn away from him once again to give him his privacy.  Instead, you picked up the next piece of dirty armor to start to scrub off the accumulated dirt.  

“Why?” 

Blade’s cheeks simmered a baby pink upon the realization his voice had cracked.  Instead of pointing it out, you skipped over it entirely. 

“Why what?” 

“Why are you helping me?” 

You shrugged.  

He blinked.  

“...”

“...”

You hummed, “Perhaps I’m not cut out to be a knight.” 

He balked at your response. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, “The entire time I was climbing the mountain, I thought I was scared I wouldn’t be able to kill you.”  You chipped away at the building dirt on the surface of your shin guard, “I eventually realized it wasn’t that I couldn’t kill you.”

“...”

“...”

“...Then what’s stopping you?”  His clawed fingers gripped at the plush material beneath him, “You need to kill me, so why don’t you?” 

You sighed, sweeping off the chalky remains of a particularly rough mud stain, “I don’t want to.  I really don’t want to kill you; I don’t want to kill anyone.”  You held the rag tight in your offhand,  “If I can, I really want to solve this in a way where you don’t die.” 

“...”

“...”

“...”

You swallowed the building lump of spit at the back of your throat,

“So, name your price.  What exactly do you need in order to stop attacking Xianzhou?”

What did Blade want in return for not attacking the Xianzhou Alliance?

He didn’t know.

He was honest in not knowing what he wanted in exchange. You appreciated it… to a certain extent. He was honest and he didn’t lie to you when he said he didn’t know, but his indecision also put you in the precarious position of not knowing whether or not he was stringing you along until he healed and could properly fight you.

You were half tempted to put a deadline on his decision, but every time you looked over at his pitiful body lounging around on your blankets in his loose drapery, you decided against it.

It was around this point you learned his name.

You had what you liked to believe was a gentleman’s agreement. Even with the lack of any verbal acknowledgement, you would stay here and oversee his healing process. Eventually, he would make a decision on what he wanted in exchange for peace. Even if he decided there really wasn’t anything you could provide for him, he would allow you to walk away from this alive if you ultimately came to the decision to not try to kill him.

It was a little bit awkward to start with, neither trusted the other.

You were worried he’d grow tired of you taking up the space in his cave and slaughter you in your sleep. He was worried you’d do the same if you eventually grew tired of his indecision or some kind of outside pressure from your commander came up. Still, that was an awkward conversation to bring up so you opted to avoid it entirely.

After a week or so, the two of you seemed to grow a lot more comfortable with each other. It was about then you were starting to run out of meat.

While Blade had been unconscious, you’d been making trips to and from the closest water source to get your hands on some water for stew. You boiled some of the rabbit bones you’d held onto for broth, pulled out some salt and leftover meat you dried to make him some soup. He couldn’t chew while he was awake so that was the best you could do for him.

When you started running out of those ingredients, you went out and brought back a mountain goat for meat. While in the process of cooking yourself a nice, juicy flank steak, Blade had woken up. It’d be rude to hold a big hunk of meat in front of him without giving him some of the spoils, especially since he hadn’t been eating anything but bland rabbit stew while he was out of it. For the next few days, you cooked up what remained of the goat and shared it between the two of you.

Goats were not an infinite source of magical forever meat though, so you ended up having to go out to get more food. You left and came back with another goat, started cooking it. Around the time you came back, it seemed Blade was waking up from a nap and he fully came around when the cooked meat was basically being dangled right in front of his nose.

Once again, there weren’t any words exchanged between the two of you but the air seemed to be a lot more relaxed than usual. He didn’t seem to be picking at every bite of food you served him and you weren’t watching him like a hawk while you were clearing your own plate. A few more days went by before you actually started talking over your food.

You’d been the one to initiate the conversation, asking if he’d been thinking about anything that could possibly convince him to stop adding to his ever growing treasure hoard. He responded he had, but he still hadn’t come to any conclusions.

You didn’t press any further.

The next day while eating, you asked him again. Once again, he answered in the negative. Again, you didn’t press any further.

The third day, when he answered in the negative, you decided to press him further. You asked him, “Why exactly do dragons create hoards?” It was a long talk about mating rituals and explanations later that he seemed satisfied with his answer. You, also, were satisfied with this answer.

A few more days of asking went by before you would run out of meat again. At this point in the year, summer was beginning to come to a close and the peaks of the mountains were becoming colder and colder.

Instead of venturing out in just your shirt and trousers, you’d decide to pull on your armor before venturing out of the cave. While it was definitely warm inside the stone walls of the dragon’s den, the air outside the cave couldn’t say the same. In order to preserve your body heat, putting on more layers was the best course of action, even if the layer was made completely out of metal.

It seemed, while you were suiting up in armor that Blade watched you with a special curiosity he had yet to display before. For the first time since you’d stitched up his wound, he made the effort to approach you first. He gave you a once over in your suit, eyes dragging over the shine of the metal in the light of the fire.

You didn’t know why he was looking at you, but you’d made a habit of not asking too many questions about things you didn’t understand. He seemed satisfied after a little bit, nodding his head and letting out a grunt of approval. You nodded in response, holstering your sword in your belt.

Eventually, you would return with another goat. It really was the only option for food seeing as two grown men needed a little more food than a few rabbits could provide. With the goat over your shoulders, you made the long trek back to the cave and back to the warmth that came with it.

When you eventually found your way back to the same stone walls, Blade was at attention waiting for you at the door. You dropped the fresh game onto the ground, the dragon watching intently. It made you uneasy, but what could you do about it?

As you went to strip yourself of your armor, it seemed something about your hunting trip had caused something to change inside what you believed to be your temporary companion. Your hands rested on top of the large steel helmet, but before you could tug it off, there were clawed fingers fumbling with the hooks on the inside of your shoulder plates.

You jumped, startled.

Quickly, the same talons retracted.

You turned your head to face him, chastise him for sneaking up on you like that and putting his hands on you. However, your complaints were promptly swallowed. His expression hadn’t changed in the slightest, but he still managed to look like a kicked puppy.

Despite the stone cold nature of his face, his fingers clasped close to his chest like he didn’t know what to do with them. The long draconic tail was tucked between his legs and his head was painted a bashful pink and lowered just the slightest bit to avoid eye contact.

Your brows furrowed, really wondering if you should be letting him do this. The longer you looked, the more moved your poor, weak heart was. In the end, you huffed through your nose before going back to removing your helmet and turning your back on him again.

Slowly this time, the hands crept up your shoulder to unhook the heavy plate from your bicep. You didn’t pay him any mind the second time around, undoing the buckle that kept your metal handguards flush against the back of your knuckles.

He was a quick learner, especially once he'd gotten into the groove of helping you take off the amalgam of pieces that clung to your clothing. Soon enough, you were back in your shirt and trousers, turning to start a fire so you could warm up.

He trailed back over to the little pile of blankets you'd laid out for him. His eyes lingered as you started to skin the goat you'd brought home.

His home.

Something clicked in his brain as he observed. Despite the piles of gold that covered every other square inch of the scenery, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He didn't know why.

When you were in armor he could write it off as another innate attraction to something shiny for his hoard. But at the moment you were in plain clothes, doing something he'd seen you do before already. Still, he watched with what he could only describe as bated breath. Mesmerized by the simple movement of the dagger cutting through the layers of fat.

As he tapped his nails against the plush fabric, he seemed to realize something.

His fingers stopped moving.

He blinked a couple times

'Yes,' he concluded,

... perhaps he knew what he wanted.

It was quiet, as it usually was for the majority of the time you would be eating dinner.   Usually, you’d be the one to initiate the same conversation every single day.  It was monotonous and predictable to the point that you could recite word for word what the two of you would say, the tone, and in what order. 

“Have you thought about my offer at all, today?” 

“I have.” 

“Have you come any closer to making a decision?”

“I have not.” 

If nothing else, you could count on Blade to be reliable. 

Tonight however, your mind wandered.  

Instead of striking up the usual conversation the two of you would have over dinner, you found your thoughts drifting off to your life on the Luofu.  The temporary situation you found yourself in wasn’t bad, not at all even.   If you were to make any complaints, it would be about how lonely you felt. 

Even if you had a dragon to keep you company day in and day out, the dragon wasn’t all that good at being company.  He didn’t like to talk but he liked to watch.  Instead of having someone to pass comfortable silence with, it felt more like you were being observed by a camera. 

Again, you really didn’t mind.  You enjoyed your solitude and alone time.  Today specifically, you reminisced on your home, your garden, your coworkers.  You missed the privacy that came with living alone, you missed quiet afternoons on your days off tending to a low maintenance garden.   Even if your coworkers annoyed you most of the time, they still made the effort to make you feel included.  

Adrift among the clouds of memory lane, it completely slipped your mind to start up your usual conversation.  Not only did you not pick up normal conversation, it seemed you were somewhere else altogether.   You didn’t even notice the nervous fidgeting across the makeshift fire pit.  

Blade’s long nails tapped all but silently on the cushioned ground.  The long tail that trailed behind him swished back and forth quicker than usual.  Instead of the same lethargic, languid movement, scales brushed over the bed haphazardly like the pendulum of a grandfather clock.  

Tonight, he would be the one to initiate the conversation. 

“I’ve thought about your offer.” 

You blinked a couple times, taking a second to process what was being said.  

“You have?” 

Finally in the present moment, your hand reached forward for your own share of dinner laid out between the two of you.   Absent-mindedly you raised the steak to your mouth, chewing and swallowing in the time it took for the other man to respond. 

“I have.” 

The tapping of his nails ceased, instead taking to poking and prodding his food.  

You nodded, falling into the familiar lull of the conversation.  “Have you come any closer to making a decision?” 

“...”

“...”

A pause. 

That was new. 

“I have.” 

“...”

“...”

That was newer.  

You finally tore your gaze away from the slab of meat in front of you, making direct eye contact.  

His expression was immovable and stone cold as before.  At least, it appeared to be upon first glance.  You were quick to notice the tension in his jaw and the tiny crease between his eyebrows.  It seemed he was… nervous? 

“...you have?” 

Instead of responding verbally, he gave a curt nod of the head.  

“...”

“...”

You tilted your head to the side, thoughts of eating all but abandoned the more and more the reality of the situation set in.  

“What did you end up deciding?”

“...”

“...”

He folded his arms into his lap, swallowing the lump of spit at the back of his throat in the process.  “I want you to stay here; permanently.” 

“...”

“...”

You cocked your head to the side, “...as a companion?” 

“...”

It took him a second to respond; his hand clenched around the hunk of flesh in his palm.  Internally, you cringed at the noise his talons made tearing into the meat. 

“...I suppose it'd be similar to that.” 

You didn't grasp what he was trying to get at, still.  “Similar?  I… I'm getting the feeling that I'm not quite following.” 

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.  You could feel a pang of anxiety nip at the corners of your pulse.   Like always, it seemed he struggled to find the words to accurately articulate himself.  He always paused before he said something, searching for exactly the right way to convey himself. 

“Dragons collect hoards to draw in potential partners; I explained this to you a few nights ago.” 

Then it clicked. 

“...oh.” 

Still, the man sitting across from you continued.  “If I fulfilled the purpose of collecting a hoard, there wouldn’t be a need for me to continue visiting the Xianzhou.” 

Your cheeks started to burn indignantly.  “I-” you bit the inside of your cheek, “Wouldn’t you prefer help in finding a partner rather than just settling with the first person to enter the cave?  It seems counterintuitive to collect such a… robust hoard and partner with someone such as myself. We wouldn't be able to produce any... offspring seeing as we're both men.” 

Instead of his usual pause, Blade was quick to respond in the negative.

“I find you to be more than satisfactory.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but found it increasingly difficult to find the right words to say.  “It’s just-” you stammered, “I’m not- I don’t-”

Your jaw snapped shut after a couple attempts to open a dialogue.   Your brows crept down your face in an expression of exasperation.  You flexed your hand into fists and then relaxed them again, trying to collect your thoughts.  

Directly in front of you, the dragon sat with an unmoving expression. 

You huffed a sigh, trying to ignore the painful flame across your cheekbones, “This would cause a few complications for me, is all.  I’m unsure why you’re choosing this; I can’t seem to find the logic behind this and I’m frustrated.  I want to confirm that this is truly what you want before I commit to fulfilling your request.” 

Once again, he seemed to answer in the affirmative without a second thought.  

“I am sure.” 

You locked gazes with him.  It almost seemed like you were challenging his resolve.  Without any prompting he confirmed himself. 

“I have thought on this matter for a period of time, I have confirmed this is the best option.” 

You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip, seemingly going through the processes that would be required to actually fulfill the task set out in front of you.  Without really thinking too much about your next words, you pondered to yourself aloud, “Isn't the purpose of mating to have children? You really wish to be married; married to me?”

The end of his tufted tail rattled in the air, seemingly amused, “Is that what the people of the Xianzhou call it? Aside from the issue of marriage, dragons have long evolved for both male presenting and female presenting partners to be able to carry children.”  It was difficult to gauge what he was actually feeling, “...if that is the context you must view it in.” 

Your face got impossibly redder, food completely forgotten by this point.  “Well, that-”  you made a gesture with your hands, “-That would require a ceremony–a wedding– because of my own pledges as a Knight.” Your hands fell into your lap, “I would need to assemble a dowry for a proper proposal, exchanging rings, vows…” In a much quieter voice, you all but whispered, “...and the expected traditions after the wedding…” 

For the first time during the discussion, Blade’s expression shifted.  His lips pressed into a thin line.  There was an awkward silence that hung in the air.

“...”

“...”

Eventually, he sighed, “The Xianzhou complicates these matters too much for my own liking.” 

You avoided eye contact, the flush on your face having long crept down your neck and up your ears. “...”

Once again, Blade’s expression changed.  He closed his eyes to let out a sigh, raking a hand through his silky navy blue hair.  “We can go through these rituals quickly, yes?  I don’t see the need for a large affair, the agreement is between the two of us.” 

You didn’t really have the mind to reject him, nodding your head slowly after a pause that felt a little bit too long,

“I suppose so.” 

“I believe a fitting dowry would be your armor.  You will be giving up your status as a knight to stay here with me, will you not?” 

Despite the fact you’d already seen his upper torso unclothed in the process of stitching up the crossbow wound cutting across the bottom of his ribs, the new context of the situation made your face flush a bright red.  Where there had been a deep puncture wound carved by arrow, lay a star-shaped imprint of the memory.  

His dexterous fingers wound up your sides on top of your clothes, stopping when they came to grasp the draw strings keeping your collar closed.  

You realized you could stop him from pulling on them any moment now, he even paused to make sure he wasn’t moving too quickly.  Instead of grabbing his wrists to stop him, you laid your hands on his thin, lean waist.  Leaning against the impossibly soft hug of the blankets he’d been sleeping on top of for weeks, you tried to stay grounded and slow down your breathing.   While avoiding eye contact, your eyes trailed down to his chest.

They were pierced.

Ripping your eyes away, you suddenly were now very conscious of where you were putting your eyes. Instead of giving him any verbal encouragement, your hands gently squeezed his love handles. 

His throat gave a pleased rumble, his hands pinching the ends of the drawstring not unsimilar to how one would undo the ribbon on a gift. 

“I’ve amassed a plentiful amount of rings to choose from, pick two and we’ll exchange them now.” 

With a healthy amount of trepidation, your hands found themselves tracing Blade’s waistband.  The loose bottoms he usually wore were equally loose around his hips, displaying a navy blue trail of hair framing the center of his pale stomach.  

Impatiently, he raised his hips so you could tug his pants off.  You hesitated to follow suit, suddenly seized by a wave of anxiety.  Still, it seemed Blade was less than happy with that outcome.  

One of his hands moved from bracing his weight on your thighs to making a grab towards your chest.  He leaned forward, all but hovering over your body.  Despite being in such a compromising position, it was hard to not be a little intimidated by the constant look he had in his eyes.  It was almost like he was constantly planning a murder.

With his non-verbal request to go a little bit faster, you finally pulled his waistband down below his knees.

“Vows aren’t a complicated matter, it’d be much easier to speed up the process here.  We can say our vows while consummating the marriage, can’t we? I don't want to delay the mating rituals of my own kind either.” 

Like he was following a rhythm, little huffs and panting fell past his open lips.  His eyes were wrenched shut, hips falling back onto your lap with each little movement he made.  His thighs shook as you tried your best to stretch him out.  He wasn’t making it easy, long clawed fingers digging into your shoulder blades the deeper your fingers were reaching.  

He let out a particularly loud whine as your fingertips just barely grazed the little spot inside him that made him see stars.  

His grip on your shoulder tightened, hips shifting impatiently to inch closer to your knuckles.  You hissed, feeling the very tips of the talons start to break the skin.  You started to draw your fingers from his hole, chastising him for not being more gentle.  “Careful, I’ll bleed if you squeeze that hard.” 

When confronted with his lack of self-control, it seemed Blade retreated into himself.  With the two of you sitting up at this point, it was difficult to shy away from your eyes.  His face transitioned from a sweet pink to an embarrassed cherry red.  He didn't answer your admonishment verbally, but it was clear he heard you.

He stopped squeezing your shoulders, winding his arms around your neck instead.  Avoiding the shame burning up his skin, he hid his nose in the crook of your neck.  

You tried to give him a little grace period, but your offer was entirely unwanted.  A few short seconds passed before his sharp canines were nipping at your collarbones, painfully hard leaking cock grinding against your still clothed thigh.

No words were exchanged, but the things that needed to be said were clearly communicated.

His neck was right in front of your waiting lips, tempting you really.  Before going back to stretching him open on your fingers, you laid an open mouthed kiss on his jawline, dripping with a sweet taste like honey. Still embarrassed, he bit back the whimper that threatened to spill forth from his lips.  

He let out a shaky sigh as he could feel your fingers start to hollow him out again.  Almost immediately you were jabbing at the little lump that was his prostate.  He keened, pressing back onto your fingers with shaky legs while he balled up his fists.  His long nails dug into his palms this time, leaving your shoulders unblemished.  You were particularly aware of the movement with the way the cold metal nipple piercings rubbed against the front of your torso.

If he was this excited you reasoned, he was most likely ready for a third finger.  Slowly, doing your best to be gentle, you finally added in the last finger.  He let out a little groan of discomfort, but ultimately didn't make any moves to stop you.

You continued to try your best to make him feel comfortable, gentle and slow as you could manage.  As another moan slipped past his lips, you curled your fingers against his insides for the last time before completely pulling your fingers out of him.

You didn't know how you could tell, but you could feel a brewing sense of frustration wafting off of Blade. Your suspicions were confirmed when he all but lunged for your belt buckle.

He fumbled with the leather for a moment before you grabbed his wrist, stammering, “Wait, wait-” You swallowed some spit to wet your dry throat, “We, We haven't said our vows yet.  We haven't officially been married.” 

The dragon situated on your lap didn't seem happy when he was stopped.  Instead, he hesitated to let go of your belt for a few long, awkward seconds before finally sitting back on his burning loins.

“Go on, quickly.”

He stressed the last word adamantly.  It was extremely clear the speed at which his patience waned. 

You swallowed more spit for a second, trying to rack your brain for the typical contents of wedding vows.  “I-”

He watched you expectantly, tufted tail whipping back and forth on the blankets expectantly. 

“For- For as long as I live, I swear to love and to cherish you as my wife,” the memories seemed to roll just out of reach, your inner monologue desperately grasping at straws, “With the lord as my witness, be it for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part I will fulfill my duty to you as a husband.  To protect and honor you until my final breath.”

You held your breath for a second, trying to think of anything you missed.  On the other hand, the oh-so “bashful” bride seated on your lap gave a straightforward nod.  The next second, his clawed fingers were flying towards your belt again.

Reflexively, you stopped him, only further agitating what little patience he had left.  “Wait!” 

“What is it now?”  His hands rested on your thighs, pointer finger tapping on your leg indignantly.  Despite the accusatory tone of his voice, it seemed his eyes were trained on what exactly was hidden underneath your hand.

“You…” you paused, “You haven't said your vows yet.” 

His brows furrowed, the first change in his expression the entire night.  He sighed, grip tightening as he did his best to ignore the aching weight of his erection on your leg. “Fine.”

He sat back on his thighs to restrain himself, pulling his grip to sit lower on your thighs. 

“As your wife, I swear to…” he paused, trying to recall your own vows, “love and cherish you for as long as I live.”  He took a deep breath, trying to figure out what else to say.  You had mentioned your duty as a husband, protecting and honoring him… what would his duties as a wife entail?  Well, there was the obvious.

“I will fulfill my duty to you as a wife, bearing your children, honoring, and protecting you.”

“...”

He reached forward experimentally, testing to see if his own vows had been satisfactory. 

You averted your gaze, moving your hand aside to give him full access to your belt buckle.

At this point in time, Blade was regretting his own lack of patience. 

His thighs clenched with the exertion, flexing and unflexing while he tried to relax and sink a little bit further onto your dick.  His breathing was labored, the flame of desire flickering and tickling at the bottom of his gut.  You weren’t faring much better, fists gathering up the sheets in a vice grip.  It took every fiber of determination in your body to not slam him down ass first onto your pelvis.  Your jaw was tight, only breathing heavy out of your nose.  You let out a particularly harsh breath the lower he managed to get.  He was barely halfway down and you were already starting to see sounds.   As a knight, you’d sworn yourself to abstinence your entire career.  Was this really what you had been missing out on this entire time?

Without any warning, Blade’s legs completely seized up.  His thighs squeezed together, clawed fingers suddenly scraping your skin.  He braced himself on your chest, leaning his torso forward so you’d catch him.  The change of angle didn’t seem to help him at all, a choked moan slipping out of his usually reserved lips the harder the tip of your dick prodded at his prostate. One of your hands moved from strangling the sheets to wrap snugly around his waist.  

Despite your compulsions, your arm stayed draped around his midsection without applying any pressure. The sensations were overwhelming, so overwhelming you were struggling to keep any noises from sliding out.  In the heat of the moment, you pushed yourself up from where you were leaning on your remaining arm to bury your face in the teal hair that framed his neck.  Nuzzling your nose into his collarbone, you stifled what would’ve been a pathetic whine against his bare skin. 

His hips nudged just a little bit lower, getting ever closer to bottoming out.  Unlike yourself, he didn’t feel the need to try and be quiet.  He pushed his neck up closer to your face, using a shaky hand to grasp the one you were still clutching the sheets with.  He groaned, pulling your wrist to guide it onto his waist.  You obliged him, fully cradling him between your large biceps.  In return, his hands made their way up and around your neck.  

They rested over your broad shoulders, still shaking when he finally managed to slide your dick in all the way to the hilt.  He was breathless, feeling like he couldn’t breathe with how much room you were taking up in his guts.  His core felt even hotter when you squeezed him tight in your arms, carving the imprint of your teeth into the side of his neck.  He exhaled a shaky moan, hand trailing up the back of your neck to tangle his fingers in your hair.  

In response, the clamp of your jaw drew tighter, a wave of heat surging over Blade’s entire body.  Even with your impromptu gag, the sounds you were making were only further fueling his instincts.  You huffed a raggedy breath through your nose, trying to hold back from bucking your hips up like an animal.  You were a gentleman, you wanted your receiving partner to be the one to set the pace for fear of hurting him.  

But you really were only human, and your blood was currently not rushing to your brain.  Your heels dug into the mattress with how hard you were trying not to move, so it definitely wasn’t that you weren’t holding it in.  But he was really warm and tight and sitting still was starting to get underwhelming and almost painful when you were this hard.  

Blade let out a surprised noise when you pulled him in impossibly tighter, followed up by a punched out gasp when your hips involuntarily jerked upwards.  Desperate at this point, you unlatched your teeth from the side of his neck, pressing feverish kisses up his jawline to his ear.  In the process, you really couldn’t afford to try and mute any of your noises.  Blade’s heart felt like it stopped when you whined directly in his ear.  Suddenly very aware of his own dick rubbing up against the defined muscles of your abs.  

You sounded like a kicked puppy when you whimpered into his ear, “Are you ready to move? Can I please move?” 

Even if he tried to deny it, it seemed he wanted to move just as much as you did when a thick bead of precum dripped down your stomach. 

Instead of immediately giving you the go ahead, though, he moved his arms from around your neck, grabbing at the hands wrapped around his waist.  Pressing them back against the makeshift mattress, you took it as the go ahead to move, thrusting up slowly to start. He let out a drawn out moan, before putting his hand on your stomach, “Wait, wait-” 

At this point, you could feel frustrated tears beginning to prick at the corners of your eyes but still, you stopped moving.  You let him press his other hand on your chest, flexing and unflexing your hands to try and keep yourself from busting like a teenage boy seeing a pair of tits for the first time.   You didn’t complain when he urged you to lay on your back, one of his hands bracing itself on your pecs, the other resting on the middle of your abdomen.  

Experimentally, he rolled his hips.  Instinctively, Blade bit down on his lower lip, feeling the delicious mix of pleasure and pain send an addictive shudder up his spine.  Without even thinking, he rolled his hips again to get another taste.  

And then another. 

And another. 

And another. 

And then he couldn’t stop moving his hips, chin tilted up with his mouth hanging open.  The movement was easy and the friction divine with the generous prep you’d done beforehand.  The generous amount of precum sprouting from the end of his drooling tip made his dick slide across your stomach with ease, only encouraging Blade to move his hips even faster in search of euphoria.  It really didn’t help his sanity when your large hands grappled his hips, serving to drag him up and down your length all while his legs seemed to grow weaker and weaker.  It also didn’t help that it looked like you were equally lost in the fervor. 

Saliva pooling in the back of your throat, you swallowed thickly when it seemed Blade’s arms gave out.  He slumped against your chest, navy hair covering the lower half of his face awkwardly.  Despite the harsh impact against your chest, you couldn’t seem to care less, finding a lot more frustration in the lack of movement.  He used a shaky hand to brush the hair out of his face, chasing after your lips with his own.  Before he could quite reach it, your hips seemed to develop a mind of their own, suddenly bucking up into his waiting insides. 

The kiss ended up being teeth first, canines clacking against canines before your lips ended up locking.  He let out a heavy groan when your hips still didn’t stop moving from behind.  Combined with the new pressure on his dick from all sides, his piercings were dragging up and down the dips of your stomach every time you moved. His eyes fluttered open when the two of you finally parted for air, high-pitched whines rhythmically pushed out of him the harder your thighs hit his ass.  

Drool trickled from the side of his mouth, leaking onto your shoulder before he tried to warn you, “Closer- agh~ really- mmmhmmnn close-”  He really wanted to hold back for the sake of finishing at the same time, but the feeling of you rearranging his guts just about had him crying like a baby.  

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna- Ouhhghh~”  

His talons broke the skin on your shoulders while his orgasm cut through him sharp and intense, an echoing squeal resounding through the room as sticky white cum shot out of his angry red tip onto both of your stomachs.  With the way he clamped down around you, you only lasted for a few more thrusts before you were cumming basically in unison.  You bit down hard on your bottom lip, tasting iron on your tongue. 

For a moment, the two of you lay in a sweaty pile of limbs.   Focused on breathing and recuperating your energy, you didn’t think to pull out.  Eventually though, you’d gone soft and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears wasn’t as loud as your thoughts anymore.  Slowly, you went to pull out so you could start clean-up–that’s what couples normally did, right?--but despite his numb legs, Blade pushed back onto your flaccid cock.  

Blearily, you looked up at him, blinking away the fatigue that crept in at the corners of your vision.  

“Did you think we were only going to have sex once?” 

What he said didn’t compute in your tired brain.  

“...huh?” 

He hummed, you could hear disappointment in his tone. 

“It’s customary for dragons to continue mating until pregnancy is guaranteed.”

"When you're pregnant, how exactly… will your body change?" 

For the sake of Blade’s back and legs, the two of  you decided a few rounds were enough to ensure he was actually pregnant.  He lay splayed out on the thick stack of blankets, having made it his favorite place in the den long prior.  He was on his stomach, resting his head on top of his crossed arms.  

“Why? Did you not expect it to?” 

You were a few feet away from him, sitting up cross-legged.  Despite the two of you having been fucking minutes prior, you were still a little shy about sitting completely naked in the open expanse of the cave.  For a bit of added modesty, you let your hands rest in your lap to cover up your dick at least a little bit. 

“It’s not that I didn’t...” Your neck dropped at the miniscule creep of shame across your face.  “I’m not versed in…”  You fumbled with your words for a moment, rocking back and forth in an effort to get your blood from your dick back up to your brain. 

“Pregnancy?” 

You lagged for a second before nodding in agreement.  “I haven’t spent much time around the women of the Xianzhou, usually it was with plants or other knights.” Your leg started bouncing when the air fell stagnant, “That isn’t to say I don’t know basic anatomy, it’s just… that I'm unfamiliar with some of the more intimate changes… not to mention, you’re also a man.” 

To this, Blade raised an accusatory brow.  “You say that as if you still don’t believe I can bear children.” 

You held your hands up in front of your chest defensively, “That isn’t what I’m saying at all!” 

Your partner let out a tired huff, not engaging in conversation further. 

“...”

“...”

“I’m…just worried I’ll fail to support you properly while you’re carrying our child.” 

Another silence hung, thickening into a kind of tension you couldn’t quite place your finger on.  

“...”

“...”

“...come here.” 

Immediately, you perked up.  

Dutifully, you shuffled over to where your spouse had beckoned you forward.  Watching him push up on tired arms and a strained back, you couldn’t help but admire the sheen of shiny sweat that gleamed in the warm firelight.  He always tended to show things better with actions rather than words, cuffing your wrist in one of his hands.   You let him guide your hand to rest on his stomach. 

“The most notable change will be weight gain.” 

Immediately, you fervently nodded your head, completely at attention.  

“The weight gain won’t just be my stomach,” he continued, “the rest of my body will start to swell.  Simple tasks like walking and bending over will become difficult, especially in the later stages of pregnancy.” 

You nodded a little bit slower. 

“Physical illness is also possible, but my ancestors didn’t struggle with it as commonly as other draconic lines.”  He positioned your hand at his hips, “During the first trimester, I’ll likely become more sensitive to smells.  That can cause symptoms like vomiting.” 

His grip eventually guided your hand to his back, all but tilting your body to drape over him.  “The added weight will stress the back.  I’ll be relying on you to do much of the heavy lifting.” 

You nodded again, even slower than the last time. 

Finally, he moved your hand to rest on his chest.  The rush of cold from the silver piercing sent a rush of red hot flame to your cheeks.  For the sake of paying attention to your pretty wife lecturing you about what would happen when he gets pregnant, you wrestled any nasty thoughts out of your mind. 

“Based on genetics, the chest will begin swelling around the end of the second trimester.” With the minimal amount of light in the room, you could just barely make out the pink hue on the usual impassive features of the man in front of you.  “I’ll be unusually sensitive, at times I could start lactating.” 

“...lactating?”

Suddenly, all your efforts to be a gentleman were forgotten.

You repeated it again, this time a little bit louder.  “Lactating?” 

Blade didn’t respond.

Unintentionally, your grip on his tit got a little bit tighter.  

He grunted, his own grip around your wrist tightening.  “How else would I feed the child?” 

This time, you didn't answer him. Your free hand was moving from your lap to tickle up his exposed side. 

The higher up his side your touch danced on his skin, the darker he could feel the flush on his cheeks.  Now, he was the one to avoid looking you in the eyes.  Even in his embarrassment, he didn’t stop you from pushing him to lay flat on his back.   He didn’t stop you when you kissed the underside of his jaw, he also didn’t stop you as you kissed a line down his jaw to his collarbones.  

Most importantly, he still didn’t stop you when your teeth clacked against one of his piercings.   

“How long will that take?” 

In this position, there were two things that seemed to jump out to Blade in particular. 

One, your breath was fanning hot against his chest and especially steamy over the nipple you were hovering over. 

Two, your hard-on was starting to leak on his leg. 

Much to your dismay his lips pressed into a tight line.  However, even in the face of a roadblock, you didn’t relent.  Experimentally, you licked a stripe up the exposed skin in between his pecs, drinking in the explosive shudder that ripped through his body.  

Trembling fingers all of sudden were tangled in your hair, unsure whether or not to push your head away or pull it in closer.   In the thick of it, you almost didn’t catch him muttering under his breath. 

“...pervert.” 

In retaliation, you tugged on one of the silver piercings with your teeth.   He let out a strained whimper, suddenly pulling your hair away from his chest.  You pinched the other nipple between two fingers, listening to the whine that was forced out of his throat.  Eventually, you relented with a lewd click of enamel against metal and the even lewder noise created by the spit accumulating on his skin.   “What was that?” 

Even if your sudden burst of confidence was out of the blue (and starting to make him nervous), Blade’s own pride didn’t allow him to take anything back. 

“Pervert.” 

You cupped his pecs with both hands, sitting up on your elbows to make a point.  “Ah, but last I checked you like this just as much as I do.”  To punctuate your statement,  you rutted against the inside of his thigh, all but pointing at his own excitement with your cock.  

He looked away, closing his eyes shut with furrowed eyebrows. 

An amused smile pulled at your features, suddenly emboldened by the surplus of blood rushing to your dick.  “So tell me, how long will it take until you start producing milk?” 

“...”

“...”

“...6 months.” 

You frowned, groping his chest with both hands.  Only a little groan managed to slip past Blade’s lips.  “Ah… are you sure?  Your chest already seems sensitive.” 

He nodded his head, still refusing to make eye contact.  

You rolled one of his nipples in your hand, positively ecstatic when his dick twitched in tandem.  “You’ll start lactating because you’re pregnant, right?” 

Thinking nothing of it, Blade gave a hum of affirmation.  

There was your opening.  “I think I should test to see if you’re actually pregnant then.” 

Before he could process your words, your lips were already suctioned around one of his nipples.  He bit down hard on his bottom lip, failing miserably to drown out the whine caught in the back of his throat. “That’s not- HnNg~” 

Obviously, you didn’t neglect the other one.  While your tongue laved over one, you pinched and pulled at the other with a pair of fingers.  You groaned when his claws started to dig into the back of your head, the tight pressure only serving to add another layer of intimacy to the moment.  He gave a particularly high-pitched whine when you started to thrust your cock against the inside of hip dip.  

“Mmhgn~ Wait- ahn~ Wait-” he pleaded. 

Insistently, you hooked your canines around the piercing and continued to suck on his chest. That was enough to have him rutting against your stomach.  At this point, you finally pulled off of his chest with what one would call “a shit-eating grin”.  

“Hm, nothing seemed to come out… maybe I’ll have better luck with the other one.”  

The hand he was using to grapple the sheets flew up to your shoulder, trying to push your head back, “That isn’t how it works!” 

Despite his complaints while you moved your head, they all seemed to get caught in his throat when your lips wrapped around his other nipple.  His chest shook with the effort it took to breath through his nose without letting out any more pathetic whimpers.   This time you got nasty with it. After a moment of suckling on his hardened bud until it turned a cherry red, you pulled back to spit on it.  

At the same time, you flicked his other piercing with two fingers.  Drool spilling past your lips at this point,  you watched with satisfaction as his head fell back against the comforter.  His thighs started to rub together as you flicked the nipple that wasn’t in your mouth again a little harder the second time around.  

Feeling a little extra mean, you locked your teeth on the soft skin before pinching the other abused nub hard.   He keened, nails scratching bloody lines into your upper back.  Ultimately, you took your mouth off of his chest in favor of starting to kiss up the center of his chest in between his tits.  

In between leaving sloppy wet kisses on his collarbones, you smiled, hands trailing back down to his sides before finally hooking the underside of his thighs.  You looped one of his shins over your shoulder, watching with glee the panic interlaced in the way he whipped his head around to look you in the eyes.  

You leaned over him, basically folding him in half to put a kiss on his lips.  

“Nothing’s coming out… I’m not really sure you’re pregnant yet.” 

You hooked his other thigh over your hip, blowing on his ear when your hand wrapped around your cock.  Alarmed, his hands braced themselves on your shoulder.  “What are you-”

You lined yourself up with his ass, biting on his earlobe.  “Well, I thought maybe we’d go a couple more rounds to really make sure you’re pregnant.”

there's a note attached to the side of the phone booth, read it?

" you guys have to promise not to make fun of me for writing this after making a bit about how much mpreg terrifies me "

to my dearest anon for whom this was written:

i hope you're doing better SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR MEDICINE

YOU BETTER KEEP TAKING UR MEDICINE OR I'M NOT GONNA START ON UR SHORT REQUEST AFTER THIS ONE

to everyone else:

mentioned briefly in my little posts between updates, it's been so long since I've written smut I had to like take a break after every other word to look over my shoulder and make sure nobody was reading it from behind me or something (I am home alone with two cats)

one of the most humbling experiences is going back and editing your own smut, like damn what position are they in I've gotta go back and write in more details 🏃

as of now, i'm planning on having my update schedule consist of a lot more short requests than long requests since they're going to be a lot easier to update consistently with

now that college has rolled in I have a lot less time to write the longer form content my audience loves me for so expect drabbles most of the time

i'm still planning book content but as of right now, I'm struggling with concepting and figuring out ideas that I can consistently stay motivated for

I might scrap the book I'm planning right now and go with something else in its entirety, but we shall see

a big thank you to all the lovely supporters who have stayed by my side through my inactivity, you will be rewarded one day when I graduate promise

love all of you, also love blades titties <3

incoming shameless plug: if you guys were wondering about my next follower goal (238/300) follow for clear skin and part 3 ayato fic (mpreg edition)

[rheanyraaaa]

Water Lilly (Part 1)

Robb Stark x Frey!Reader (F)

Enemies To lovers

Summary: Y/N Frey (reader) is the youngest daughter of Walder Frey, her mother being just another woman who died in childbirth, here she learns about her union with Robb Stark, King of the North, and she’s more then displeased of the sudden arrangement, but when she looks into his eyes for the first time. Now that’s something.

warnings: alcohol consumption, forced marriage

i fear i don’t know what i’m doing ISNT PROOFREAD also switched out from “You/your “ pronouns and “She/Her”

this was all pre written in my notes w my OC’s name and without “Y/N”/ & or You so i apologise if u do see a random girls name that’s not Y/N or You lmao (unless you’re your actual name) x

——————————————————————————

Y/N stirred awake, blotches of orange and pink sunlight spilling into the room through the curtains, she fluttered her eyelids as she made sense of her surrounds as always, this was the cold, stone room she called home. The bed was cold and stiff, much like the Twins, but the warmth of morning softened the chill in the air. She lay there for a moment, blinking up at the heavy wooden beams on the ceiling, and sighed deeply. She missed Dorne. The dusty winds and golden sands, the gardens that spilled over with sweet-scented blooms, and the warm laughter that lingered in the air, all of it was so different from the grim and graying walls of her father’s keep.

She was born in the river lands in the Twins to her mother, Lady Frey, who unfortunately passed away from childbirth, another forgotten face who lost their battle on the battlefield of the bed. As a youngling, Walder Frey sent her of to Dorne, where her mother had been born and brought up. Though, technically her mother was of Myrish descent, who just happened to be one of those descendants of immigrants who crossed the narrow sea for work. That’s how Y/N’s mothers side ended up in Dorne with no actual dorneish blood. Y/N was mixed, which was uncommon in Westeros, since Essosi’s and Westerosi’s did not mix all the well, and it was worse when Y/N’s features took favour to her mother, atleast she didn’t look as boring or unappetising as her sisters (though Roslin has always been beautiful.)

She sat up, wrapping her arms around herself as a handmaid poked her head through the door. “Good morning, my lady,” the maid greeted with a small bow. “Shall I draw your bath?”

Y/N nodded, her thoughts drifting as the maids bustled around, bringing in buckets of steaming water. The scent of lavender and rosemary filled the air, oh that was her favourite scent in the morning. Two maids helped her undress, and she sank into the tub, sighing as the warm water soothed her.

As one of the maids gently poured water over her shoulders, Irene spoke, almost to herself. “I was happier in Dorne,” she murmured, trailing her fingers through the water. “I want to go back there someday. To see my family again, to be… me again.” She looked down, smiling wistfully. “I was freer there, you know?”

One of the older maids, Meg, nodded with a sympathetic smile as she rinsed your hair. “Aye, my lady. They say Dorne has a way of bringing out the heart in people. But your father has his reasons for wanting you here.”

“He always has his reasons,” You said softly, her voice edged with resignation. She leaned back, letting the maids scrub the last traces of sleep from her limbs.

“You’re still Frey dearie. You’d never stay in Dorne for too long, though it’s built you, made you smarter.” Meg cheerily said, scrubbing and Y/N’s hair, throwing whatever ointments. Y/N hummed to this, she’s still Frey, the reason why she lingered in Dorne until her thirteenth was quite the random decision.

The other handmaiden, Nora, much younger and atleast 17 said to Y/N, “My lady, there’s talks about Lady Stark coming over here, apparently she’s looking for a bride for her son.” She spoke excitedly, washing at your arms.

“Stark? Northerner? he must be a rugged beast with no sense at all, must be another one of those brutes they breed up there.” You replied quickly, to think that a Stark would want to marry a Frey was also unbelievable, who would want to marry a big wolf?

“Your father’s picking between your sisters, then they have to be confirmed by my Lady Catelyn.” Meg continued, as you let them condition your hair and add some extra oils and essences to your bath time.

You nodded, not that you cared… well you thought it was interesting for one of them to ask for a hand in marriage, “What’s the reason for the marriage?” You asked, looking down in the soapy water.

“The crossing or something like that, they need it for the war.” Meg rattled on, scrubbing the last parts of you before preparing a towel for you.

“Of course.” You muttered, still sleepy from the terrible cold, wet night you all suffered from. “What’s the boy’s name?” You asked, less then cheery.

“Robb Stark? something like that. He’s know as the Young wolf, rides a wolf into battle, turns into one in the night. I think it’s a load of rubbish, but I do hear he’s handsome.” Nora spoke, rattling on about this Robb Stark and what good features he has and how much he resembles his Tully mother.

“Perhaps you have a chance though my lady.” Meg said calmly. As she was drying you off and wrapping yourself in a thick robe. “Lady Y/N,” she began, helping with the braid of her damp hair. “Your father could choose you, this rugged beast of a man could be your escape.”

“And leave you all behind? I doubt it.” You rolled your eyes at their failure at convincing you.

“It’s merely a suggesting. Do take it lightly.” Meg replied, trying to please you.

Y/N allowed the maids to dry her off, the steam from the bath still clinging to her skin, making the chill of the Twins feel sharper. She was dressed in a simple gown of dusky blue wool, plain but fitted, with embroidered vines of silver along the cuffs and neckline. Her hair had been braided into a crown, a few tendrils curling loose around her face, softening her expression as she wrapped herself in a fur cloak. She was ready to brave the drafts that snuck through the old stone walls.

As she made her way through the winding halls, Nora fell into step beside her. They walked slowly, their footsteps echoing off the stone, and Y/N’s voice was almost a whisper as they resumed their conversation.

“So, Lady Stark is truly searching for a wife for her son?” Y/N asked, her voice threaded with curiosity and a hint of skepticism. “Does she think it so simple to find one of us willing to move to the North? Nonetheless with this war, any one of us be part of it?”

Nora gave a soft laugh. “It seems your father thinks it’s simple enough,” she replied, glancing at Y/N. “But yes, word has it she wants a match to strengthen the ties between the North and the Riverlands. They say Robb Stark needs someone who’ll bring loyalty and strength to his cause, but also it’s an agreement for the crossing that will help him win the war”

“Loyalty and strength,” You mused, a smirk playing at your lips. “I wonder if Lady Stark knows much of the Freys.”

Nora chuckled at that, shaking her head. “Perhaps she only hears what she wishes. But you might surprise her, my lady. You’ve a spirit that could suit the North well. They say it takes a certain fire to keep warm in those freezing castles.”

You paused by an arched window, looking out over the river winding far below. The day was clear, and the wind swept in with a sharp bite, carrying the faint scent of damp earth and cold water. You wrapped your cloak tighter around yourself. “I wonder if he’s anything like her, Robb Stark,” You murmured, almost to yourself. “I’ve heard Lady Stark is as proud and steadfast as the North itself.”

Perhaps,” Nora replied, leaning against the wall beside you. “But I’ve also heard he has some of his father in him. An honorable man, loyal to a fault, like Eddard Stark. A woman could do worse.”

“Could she?” You asked, turning away from the view with a sigh. “The North is distant, Nora. Cold. Unyielding. I’ve only known heat and light, gardens that stretch as far as you can see. Here, it’s all stone, and there, well, it’s ice, isn’t it?”

Nora gave you a sympathetic look, but before she could reply, a loud, impatient voice interrupted them.

“Y/N!”

They turned to see your half-brother, Merrett Frey, striding toward them, his expression bored and slightly sour. Merrett was a portly man with thin hair and a perpetually furrowed brow, looking as though everything he saw annoyed him.

“Y/N” he repeated, glancing from her to Nora, “Father wants to see you. Now.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line, though you masked your annoyance quickly. “Did he say why?”

Merrett shrugged, clearly uninterested in details. “Something about a match. Said he wants you in the hall at once.”

Y/N exchanged a glance with Nora, a mix of dread and resignation in her eyes. “So it begins,” she muttered under her breath before she straightened, squaring her shoulders.

“Very well, Merrett,” she replied coolly, giving a final look out the window, as though Dorne lay somewhere beyond, waiting for her. “Lead the way.”

And with that, she followed her brother down the winding corridors, a feeling like ice settling over her heart.

The great hall of the Twins was dark and drafty as Irene entered, her cloak trailing behind her like a shadow. Walder Frey sat at the high table, hunched over with age, his piercing eyes watching her approach. He gave her a thin, sly smile, a glint of satisfaction in his gaze that made her stomach twist. Around him, a few of her siblings and half-siblings lingered, pretending to be occupied with anything other than her arrival.

She stopped before him, lifting her chin defiantly.

“Y/N,” he began without ceremony, his voice as thin and cutting as the river wind. “I’ve struck a deal with Catelyn Stark, and I’ll hear no argument. You’ll be marrying Robb Stark, the Young Wolf, and doing your duty as a Frey. Our alliance with the Starks strengthens us. You should be proud.” He then took a chug out of his red wine.

You felt your throat tighten, her voice sticking as she forced herself to speak. “Father, surely… surely there’s someone else more suited to this—“

Walder’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll be good because I say so. We’ve not been offered a match like this, not in a long time. A wolf from Winterfell, boy or not, could make you a queen if you play it right. But you’re to do as I command,” he said, his tone turning as cold as steel.

You opened your mouth to protest further, but his stare silenced you. Your voice faded, her gaze lowering. You realized then, painfully, that you had no choice.

“Yes, Father,” she murmured, her voice resigned. “As you wish.”

He grunted, satisfied. “Good girl. Go on, then. I expect you’ll be a dutiful wife.”

Days later, Y/N stood in her chamber at the Twins, a quiet stillness surrounding her as she prepared for the wedding. She thought back to Lady Catelyn’s gaze when they first met sharp and cool. Catelyn had looked her over with an assessing eye, her expression revealing nothing as she took in Y/N’s every detail, from her posture to her expression. Y/N could practically feel the weight of Catelyn’s silent judgment, her assessment of whether Y/N would be fit to stand beside her son in both marriage and war. After what seemed an eternity, Lady Stark had finally given a curt nod, deeming her acceptable.

You slipped into your wedding gown, a simple yet beautiful piece the seamstresses had hurriedly prepared. It was made of silken ivory, with long, elegant sleeves that flowed to your wrists, and a fitted bodice embroidered with delicate silver leaves. The gown was free of unnecessary adornment, simple yet striking, with a modest neckline and a trailing skirt that whispered over the stone floor behind you.

Your hair, braided the southern way, with a shimmering veil falling infront of your face and behind you, covering up the meek expression you held.

“You’re shining.” Nora spoke sadly, knowing this was probably the last time they’d see eachother. Her voice soft and filled with acceptance.

Meg, the older maid who had helped raise you, stepped forward as well, her eyes misty with emotion. “Be strong, my dear. You’re braver than you think.” She reached out and gave your hands a squeeze.

“Il miss you both,” A knot in your stomach tightened, this was really it. You bid your goodbyes before making your way down the hall outside, your father taking your arm with that wretched grin he always had on, the doors opening, the Stark flag hoisted alongside your own one, you didn’t dare look up from your feet, the chill air hitting you immediately as you were clutching at your fathers arms before he let you go and you had met with what looks to be Robb Stark.

You couldn’t really see him well with the veil and you’re sure he couldn’t see your face at all. A moment later after the septa spoke, he removed the veil over your face, and his eyes.. something in it softened, they were pools of dark blue, and you swear you felt your heart thump a little faster. He was rugged yet handsome, with the wolf emblem on him, you saw him quickly look at someone else, rather this other young lady before looking back at you, that lady having a rather solemn look on her face. You knew straight away that was his lover, and this would be even more complex then you had anticipated. You said your vows and shared a kiss, your lips much softer against his chapped ones, but perhaps you felt that warmth again. Maybe this could work, or maybe you were doomed to fail.

——————————————————————————

tags!!! (Tell me if you want to be tagged in pt2)

@samieree @maysileeewrites

[mrsbarnesblog]

the reader has been begging rafe to watch vampire diaries with her because its her favourite show but its always been a firm no. rafe did something ( it can be anything ) and it upset the reader a bit and rafe asks the reader how he can make it up to her and she asks for girl night with rafe. face masks , making tiktoks , listening to music and of course watching vampire diaries

Vampire Diaries

Word count: 0.8k

Warnings: none

A/N: thank you for the request <3 Rafe would've definitely pretended to be annoyed but secretly enjoyed it lol

“I'm sorry, baby, okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.” Rafe kneeled in front of you, as you were currently sitting on the couch, endlessly scrolling tiktok and paying literally no attention to your boyfriend. 

You two just had a small argument, and with Rafe’s short temper, it quickly went downhill. Even though there was nothing too serious and you knew that Rafe didn’t want to upset you, it still hurt you a little bit, so you wanted to teach him a lesson. 

“Please? Look at me, pretty girl. I’m really sorry.” He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs, leaving a few soft kisses. “How can I make it up to you, huh? Do you want to go shopping? Spend all of my money? Go on a date to your favorite place? Kick me? Just tell me and I’ll give it to you.” 

You were trying so hard to keep back a smile forming on your lips. Because who would’ve thought that Rafe, the big, scary and moody guy, would beg for your forgiveness, literally standing on his knees? You finally put your phone down, looking at your boyfriend and studying him for a few seconds. 

“Have a girls night with me.” You smirked, seeing how his brows slowly furrowed. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Girls night. Masks, snacks, music and vampire diaries are included.” His eyelids lowered, looking at you suspiciously. 

“Were you planning on pulling me into that shit? ‘Cuz I ain’t doin’ that. Told that a million times already, babe.” 

You just rolled your eyes, going back to your phone and acting like you didn't notice the way Rafe was burning holes into you with his stare.

“Are you really gonna ignore me again? I said, I’m sorry.” 

“And you also said that you'd do anything that I asked for. That’s what I’m asking for. Just one night, Rafe. No one’s going to see you being soft and cute except for me, you grumpy ass.” You held eye contact for a few seconds, already seeing how Rafe was hesitating between giving in and continuing to act like a child.

“Fine. But only one time, got it? And you can’t tell anyone about it.”

***

“Did you just take a photo?” Rafe’s head snapped towards you and you innocently bit your lip, locking your phone and putting it away. 

“Maybe… But you look really cute, just wanted to have it for myself.” You smiled at him, moving closer on your bed and fixing a few strands of hair that fell out of Rafe’s white bunny headband. He did look cute, laying and watching your favorite series only in his gray sweats, with no shirt, and most importantly, with a Hello Kitty sheet mask on his face. 

Before that, you had already cleaned and exfoliated Rafe’s face while sitting on top of him, which was the only reason why he didn’t complain every second, and then you brought all the possible snacks from the kitchen and took your favorite masks with you. It took quite some time to convince him to put it on, but a few kisses worked just perfectly. 

As the twenty minutes on your timer went off, you took both of your masks off with Rafe mumbling “finally” under his breath, and with another bag of chips, you snuggled into your boyfriend’s side. “Vampire Diaries” that you convinced him to turn on were currently only on the third episode, and you looked up from Rafe’s shoulder, noticing that he was actually looking at the screen. 

“I told you that it’s good.” You giggled, shoving chips into your mouth and then giving a few to Rafe. His hand wrapped tighter around your body, bringing you even closer. 

“It’s not.” 

“Then why are you watching it?” You arched your brow when he looked down at you.

“Because you told me too. You know that I hate this type of stuff, right, babe? This girl shit is not for me.” 

“Whatever you say, Rafey.” Your hand stroked his bunny ears, which were still holding his hair, then cupped his face to place a kiss on the lips. You knew that Rafe was just being stubborn and that he actually was enjoying your evening together; it was obvious by the way his body was in the most relaxed state possible, there was no usual annoyance, and he had that look in his eyes. The one that you always saw whenever you two were alone, when you were wrapped up in each other’s arms, when you made him happy and safe. “Thank you for this. It means a lot to me.” 

“ Anything for you, baby.” Rafe softened, lips curling in a lazy smile, as he caught your lips in another kiss. “Now watch your goddamn show, or I’m gona turn it off.” Rafe pulled away, playfully rolling his eyes at you, yet still looking back at the screen, now also too hooked on to miss any second. 

[heliads]

we both know what happened to you - newt

Ben is exiled. The Glade doesn't take it well.

masterlist

It’s easy to be quiet in the mornings when it doesn’t matter. Simple days are for simple words, fading phrases, and long spells of silence. On days like today, though, after nights like last night, silence feels like the only option. No one can meet each other’s gaze. And no one wants to talk when they can still hear the echoes of Ben’s last desperate scream echoing in their mind. 

You feel a certain kind of restlessness when you’ve killed your friend. It gnaws at you like mad. Like how Ben was mad until you shoved him in the Maze and let him die. You can’t stop thinking about it, turning over that awful moment in your head again and again, unable to let the wound close in peace. He’d begged you to let him live, all of you, again and again until he was already half inside the Doors and knew it was over. You’ve known him for months. Many knew him longer still, yet all of you are complicit.

This is the Maze, after all. This is where you’re all born again with no memories and hardly even a name, and this is where half of you die. Stephen, cut in half after trying to climb down the Box Hole. Nick, his grave just barely green over with moss. And now Ben, hair like corn silk, who ran too far too fast, dead before he got to twenty. You’ll be there soon, maybe. You and Newt and everyone you’ve ever cared about. The Maze is where scientists kill the kids they raised. Birds kicked from the nest. Someone’s smoothing out your feathers now and readying you for the plunge, but all you can do is stare at the empty place among the straw and twigs where one of you had been just seconds before.

You’re staring at the walls of the Maze, lying flat on your stomach in the grass. There’s a stone jutting uncomfortably into your left elbow, but your chin’s resting on top of your laced fingertips and you’re not sure you have the strength to keep yourself from falling into the dirt while you push the smooth rock away. You wonder if Ben ever kicked that stone, if he ever tripped over it on his jog into the Maze and out again. You wonder if he stayed by the Doors when he died, or if he tried to run his old routes one last time, operating on instinct alone.

A shadow passes in front of you, darkening the pear green knives into something like the needles of the pine trees. A boy comes with the shadow, free of charge, and he slumps down next to you, pausing briefly to slide the stone away from your left elbow before lying down on his back. You turn your head, placing your right cheek on your interlaced fingers to stare at him.

Newt has always been beautiful in the sunlight. Even now, in this uncertain gray somewhere between overcast and clear skies, his eyes catch the faint bars of sunshine and turn from brown to gold. With a pang of agony deep between your ribs, it reminds you of the blond crown of Ben’s hair. You wonder if his eyes will ever shatter scarlet like Ben’s temples did too, at the end, when he hurt himself so badly he never came back, and your eyelids flinch shut to stop yourself from seeing it.

When you manage to open your eyes again, a cloud has passed over the sun, coaxing Newt’s eyes back to a woody brown, and it’s okay to look at him again. He’s looking at you too now, the lines on his face deepening with regret. You’re mirrors, the two of you, perfect pictures of guilt and misery reflecting back again and again until you’re certain you’re going to dissolve into each other for good.

“It’s not your fault,” Newt whispers. His throat is dry, and his voice cracks on most words.

“It’s not your fault either,” you murmur back. “Not Minho’s, not Alby’s. These things happen.”

Newt’s lips press together, and you know he’s going through the same swoops of grief as he remembers every Glader you’ve lost over the past few years.

“You know, I remember when he just started out as a Runner,” Newt says quietly. “Stupid shank. He was terrible at directions but he tried so damn hard that he actually fixed his own shuck memory. You should have seen him smile the first time he got a route right without one of us having to correct him. Could have powered the sun.”

He sighs, a sob trapped in the sound. To distract him, you ask, “Why’d you let him stay on as a Runner if he kept getting lost? Wouldn’t it be dangerous?”

Newt looks up at the sky, remembering. “We didn’t have many Runners in the early days. We had to take what we could get. Besides, Nick was dead set that it was better for morale if people weren’t letting the Runners quit so soon. He was early in his days as first-in-command, so we wanted to believe him. Ben got better anyway. Soon he was just as good as any of us.”

Newt’s voice trails off a little, and you know him well enough to guess what he’s thinking– if they had switched Ben out anyway, maybe he wouldn’t have been in the Maze, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten Stung, and maybe he wouldn’t have tried to kill Thomas. Maybe he wouldn’t have been Exiled. Maybe he’d still be here, and you wouldn’t be lying here trying to suppress this invisible wound bleeding out both of you without spilling a single drop of blood.

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat.

“It’s no one’s fault,” Newt says listlessly. “That’s official protocol for when someone gets exiled, you know. Nick made that klunk up too. Said people knew the rules, so if they broke ‘em, it was on their shoulders, not ours.”

“Doesn’t explain why I feel like I should have saved him, though,” you mutter.

Newt nods in agreement, expression tired. “We’re going to get through this,” he says dully. “Same way we got through every other friend we lost. We’re going to pick ourselves up and we’re going to move on. We’ll stop thinking about him.”

“No, we won’t,” you say, and continue before Newt can interrupt. “We’re never going to forget Ben, and it would be awful not to. We’re just going to stop feeling guilty, that’s all. We’ll think about Ben as Ben, not how he was after he got stung.”

“Is that fair to Ben?” Newt asks. “If we ignore what happened to him? I’d be mad, I think. Feels like we’re cheating.”

You let out a long breath. “When you think about Ben, what comes to mind? Your gut instinct, I mean. Not the first awful thing about the Doors shutting on him, but what Ben really is to you. Is it the thing we had to strap to the bed in the Med-Jack hut when he was so strung out that he was hardly human at all? Or is it the shuck kid who kept making too many left turns and followed you and Minho everywhere?”

Newt closes his eyes, half in agony, like he’s begging for strength from someone who isn’t listening. “Runner Ben. Not him when he was sick. That’s Ben to me.”

“Exactly,” you say. “That’s our Ben. That’s what matters. He wasn’t Ben at the end. Ben would never hurt us.”

And Ben would never beg for you to save him. He would never look at the Maze like a bad dog, terrified, and he would never stand there for so long once he was past the Doors, as if he had forgotten the way again.

Newt reaches out and takes your hand, gripping your fingers almost painfully, his eyes still squeezed shut. “Promise me, Y/N. If something happens, if I get stung or if I– if I– again– Tell me you’ll do the same for me. You’ll remember me as me.”

You choke back a sob. “Nothing’s going to happen, Newt.”

He squeezes your hand again, insistent. “You heard Ben. He was saying all kinds of stuff, saying the world out there was terrible. If it does, you have to promise– you have to promise–”

He’s manic and terrified in a way that shocks you. Newt is the calm one, always has been, except that one time that terrified you just as bad as this. If he isn’t in control, then you’ll have be that for him.

“I promise,” you say as calmly as you can. “You’ll always be my Newt. Always.”

He relaxes suddenly in your grasp, still as death. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeat.

He pulls you close to him, your head tucked against his collarbone, heart to heart and rib to rib. The sun warms you both, dappling skin and hair and clothes. It’s going to be a while until you stop hearing Ben’s last scream when you’re locked in sleep. It’s going to be a while before you remember how to go about living like usual again. If there’s one comfort in all of this, at least, it’s that you won’t be alone. With Newt, you never will be.

maze runner tag list: @blondsauduun, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @mayfieldss, @bonesnplywood, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @imwaysthelastchoice, @fadedver, @il0vebeingdelulu

all tags list: @wordsarelife, @supervoldejaygent

[huffelpuff210]

Only mine Part 2 Dark Professor Steve Rogers x Innocent reader

Only Mine Dark Professor Steve Rogers x Innocent Reader

Steve looked everywhere at this party, but found you no where, He decided to give up his search coming home disappointed and empty handed, The next day was spring break everyone leaving for home, or going on some sort of vacation, Steve was walking toward the coffee shop you frequented when he seen your room mate leaving the dorm, listening to the conversation. 

“You sure y/n? I feel bad leaving you when you are battling a terrible cold.” She says holding the phone to her ear as she opens her car door throwing some of her stuff in the back of the car, 

“Fine but if you get any worse see a doctor I would hate for you to die on me while I’m on vacation.” She chuckles getting in the car and starting it, 

Steve grew concerned He looks at the dorm, He knew which dorm room was yours following you home a few nights ago, He knew this was his chance, tonight was when everyone was gone, and you were alone, He decided he would come back then, He already had the key to your dorm, All he had to do was take it from the office, He smirked knowing tonight was when he was going to get his girl. 

You sat on the couch covered in a blanket, a tissue box on the nearby end table, you were too tired to even make yourself any sort of food, You were pretty sure you had the flu, You barley had any energy to even go to the bathroom, Your cough hurt extremely bad, You thought you were dying too tired to even move off the couch, the show you were watching you were barely paying attention, 

You take some of the medicine to help you can feel yourself getting tired as your heavy eyelids slowly flutter shut, 

The sound of your door shutting echoed in your ears but you could not bring yourself to open your eyes you just assumed that it was just Jessica coming back for something, but soon you felt someone stroke your cheek. 

Steve slowly made his way through your dorm room finding you fast asleep on the couch, he rampaged through your dresser grabbing some of your clothes putting them in a bag, He walked over to you stroking your cheek with his knuckles, 

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll take care of you..” He whispered 

Scooping you up in his arms. carrying you out of your dorm, 

Your heavy eyelids slowly flutter open, and You notice you are no longer on the couch in your dorm, You slowly sit up and notice the room was massive, the bed was huge, the room looked modern with gray walls, the sheets and bedding were white, the bed frame was a thick wood with bed posts, 

The door opens revealing Professor Rogers with a tray of soup and a glass of orange juice. you were extremely confused.

“Professor?” Your voice comes out raspy 

“Please doll, call me Steve since we’re going to be spending some time together.” He says 

He sets the tray on the top of a dresser, that looks like it was carved from a tree, 

He sat on the edge of the bed, feeling your forehead, his hand cold to the touch, 

“Still have a fever, I guess that’s what happens when you have no one to take care of you,” He says with a smile tucking some of your hair behind your ear. 

You were confused, 

“How did I get here?” You asked trying to get out of bed but he pushed you down 

“I brought you here and you need to stay in bed.” He says 

“Professor I need to get back home.” You say trying to get out of bed again But he quickly pushes you down again. But this time anger fills his eyes and he has you pinned down by your throat, 

“You are going to listen to me doll or there are going to be consequences.” He says 

You look up at him in horror, he is your professor, he was said to be a good guy retired hero, why was he doing this to you what had you done to be treated this way you didn’t understand it, 

“Do you understand?’ He asked glaring down at you 

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod slowly, 

He smiled liking your answer 

“That’s my good girl.” He says 

You knew you couldn’t over power him, He was far stronger and bigger than you, 

You were a petite thing, your dad and brothers always teased you for it, but you never really cared about it until now, he grabs the bowl of soup feeding you the soup, you ate most of it until you told him you were full, He handed you the Orange juice, you drank half a glass, until you started feeling drowsy your vision blurry, 

“Get some rest doll, once you are better we will go over a few rules.” He says smiling down at you, you could barley lift your limbs, Steve lifted your legs putting them under the blankets, Kissing your forehead your heavy eyelids slowly fluttering shut, 

Steve watched as you tried fighting sleep, but eventually gave in, He smiled at the thought of having you all to himself, all he had to do was rough you up a bit and you submitted to him, He knew you would be perfect for him, 

He also knew you didn’t need to go to school anymore, He was going to take care of you, but being a few months shy of graduating he figured he would humor your family, knowing how a military family worked, he was going to have to humor them and let you at least graduate, that way he wouldn’t run into any problems, but after that, you were going to be his perfect wife weather you wanted that or not, and sure he was a bit older than you, but he didn’t care, you were perfect, it was hard to find a girl like you in this day and age and he sure as hell wasn’t about to let you go.

[ariseur]

hey again 👀 soooo you said i should send another ask if i had an idea and diva you said that to the wrong person. i have too many lmao

im stressing that u should write this at your own time! no rush :)

but yeah im actually writing a longform seph/reader fic where the reader is from a southern/appalachian coded town near gongaga. my idea id love to have your spin on is a scene where sephiroth (someone raised on protein powder and spinach probably) gets to try some real southern comfort food that the reader makes for him :). im talking biscuits, fried chicken, some kind of creamy noodle dish, just all the unhealthy savory goodness

he deserves it 🥺

ty for the last request again btw✨💕

“ spread kisses like honey. ”

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

omg this has been sitting in my drafts sooo long!! this was really cute and i loved writing it, it reminded me of lucy gray and coriolanus snow from hg hence why i put the title as a lyric from her ballad 💕 always look forward to your requests!! thank you againnn!!

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

you and seph being sickly sweet towards each other, sephiroth being utterly in love with you in his inner monologue, kind of not canon because there are moments where i mention how sephiroth talks to genesis and angeal despite knowing zack and interacting with zack ( which like clashes with the entire point of cc .. but shhh i wanted domesticity ), intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything!! 💕

┊ ˚➶ word count ｡˚ 🎼

1088 words, 5905 characters

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

“you’ve never had this?” you gasped dramatically, your shocked face only to be met with sephiroth’s stoic one. he hesitantly nodded— was that.. a bad thing? did he somehow offend you in some way? the steam that had emitted from the plates below you set on the

“don’t you like pasta?” you asked, still utterly baffled.

he nodded slowly, “is something wrong?” he didn’t understand the confusion. there were a lot of foods he hasn’t tried, isn’t that normal for everyone? you blinked owlishly, lifting up the fork with the pasta noodles stabbed against the metal, the creamy sauce departing from the food in small, slow drips.

“what have you been eating if you’ve never had something as delicious as this?” you muttered, your lips reverting back into a tight ‘o’ as you blew on the fork— before finally slipping it into your mouth. “i’m shocked.” words muffled as you still chewed on your food, at least covering your mouth while you spoke.

sephiroth chuckled amusedly, “we’ve grown up in deeply contrasting places.” he crossed his arms against his chest, watching as you slurped up the pasta with stars in your eyes— occasionally opening your mouth to let the heat escape, soft steam pouring out from the small gap you’ve left while chewing. “still,” said you, “‘s so good.” he could barely make out your voice from how full your mouth was but he still shook his head as he leaned further back in his chair.

closing his eyes, he tilted his head down while he let the strands of snowy hair fell and covered bits of his face, blocking the bright sun even to the darkness beneath his eyelids. sephiroth didn’t pay much mind to the fact that your loud chewing of garlic bread and slurping of buttered food had come to a halt until he felt a strong aroma slip in from under his nostrils, it was only then did he open his eyes to see you holding the fork to his lips.

you held an expectant gaze and he quirked a brow before ultimately leaning forward while he let his eyes rake over the food. it looked a little messy, the sauce dripping over the place as you had ripped a piece of garlic bread off along with it and placed a chunk on the metal twinges of the utensil. he looked up again at you, waiting as you nodded your head and tried to keep your excitement contained. he blew on the fork a little bit before opening his mouth and letting it settle upon the steel. what could one bite do, he asked himself.

but once he had finally tried it, he could’ve dropped dead right then and there. the combination of the salty and savory flavors was perfect, and the way the bread had soaked some of it up too was incredible. sephiroth closed his eyes, letting his jaw work as he let his taste buds be blessed with what was known as your cooking. he had always seen you working your way through the kitchen, using various pots and pans and oils while you zipped around — and when sephiroth had offered help, you simply put a hand up and looked up at him for a split second, trying to simultaneously get the perfect roast as you smiled at him sweetly. that was enough for him.

despite watching you cook a lot ( and the only times he did get to help, he ended up being ordered by you to stand in the corner or measure occasional ingredients ), he had never actually savored something as good as this. being a first class prevented him from doing any good when it came to dinner time, either the timing being too late and you had already gone to bed or you were too tired and he decided not to bother you and he ate something small.

but this, he thought, this was perfection. when it came to you, sephiroth never let his appreciation go silent as he would always thank you or give you sayings of endearment and encouragement. he didn’t have words for this dish, he had never tried anything like it. so in awe, he merely said, “you’ve truly outdone yourself,” as he handed you back the fork. you didn’t mind the simple compliment. it never sounded generic to you when sephiroth would express his gratitude, even when they were mumbled in passing with dragged feet when he had come home from an exasperatingly tiring job, he always made sure to tell you how much he was grateful for you and what you do when he’s away.

he couldn’t wait until he was back at hq to boast to genesis and angeal about how delectable your cooking was. maybe zack, too — although sepiroth had a feeling that the energetic SOLDIER might just end up begging you for food even more. not that you minded, though. you were always so kind, sephiroth didn’t know how you were always able to do it.

“thanks.” you chimed, your voice ever so warm that it made his heart flutter. sephiroth wasn’t exactly what you’d call — expressive. he always held a smooth, cool tone of voice and occasionally threw a sassy remark towards you or genesis, or even that kid zack fair he introduced you to. but you understood his inflection of which he spoke in, you could tell his emotion even when he had entered a room ( and vice versa ). you were one of the most cherished things in sephiroth’s life and it could not go unnoticed.

with his tongue peeking out from between his bottom lip to gather some of the residual flavor that was left behind, his eyes roamed across the table further to more so further treasure your sacrifices ( of both time and food ).

“what’s that over there?” he lifted a finger, almost perfectly manicured despite using his hands excessively in battle, to point over at a small white dish filled with elbow macaroni and a homemade cheese sauce. you turned your head and grinned, reaching over the wooden dining table to grab it and lower the bowl on its side to reveal the contents. “mac ‘n’ cheese,” you replied, “want some?” your eyes seemed to glimmer with more amusement. sephiroth had now developed a new interest in your food and he couldn’t wait to indulge in it.

with the smile and those eyes of yours, how could he say no to one more bite?

𐙚 taglist ; @snoopicle

𐙚 requests are closed — june tenth, 2024

[kykyonthemoon]

Could I have an Xavier x Reader fluff? Like they make him wear bunny ears and Xavier makes them wear wolf ears? I wanna see smth soft and fluffy for my man…If you can’t totally ok! You’re lovely!

Fluffy Trapped

In this game of two, Xavier is definitely not the rabbit.

Thank you for requesting. 🌻 Xavier x Reader Masterlist

Request something?

“Why do you have that funny headband on your head?” The strange boy asked, one hand pointing at the top of Xavier's head.

He raised his hand and touched the two long, soft rabbit ears attached to his head. He was sitting in a corner of the arcade when this kid came from nowhere and began to laugh at what he was wearing.

“It's a bet.” Xavier replied with a sigh.

“A bet?”

“Yeah. I lost a bet with someone in a claw machine game.”

The child kept giggling while covering his mouth, showing absolutely no manners. Then, to his surprise, a little girl of a similar age called in this way.

“Oh no! That girl has found me!” His face became pale in an instant. He pushed something into Xavier's palm with haste and said, "Keep this. You can make your friend wear it if they lose to you at the kitty cards game. That girl over there made me do that too!”

The boy threw his little friend a glance that left it unclear whether he hated or loved her. He then sprinted in her direction, and the two of them walked away while holding hands. Xavier turned to face the object he was holding. It was a hair piece almost identical to his, but instead of pink and white rabbit ears, it was dark gray wolf ears.

“Kitty cards, hmm…” Xavier whispered to himself. His eyes found you in the crowd, happily ordering drinks for both of you. A very dangerous smile appeared on his lips for a moment, then disappeared when you turned your head to find him. He appeared to be an obedient rabbit waiting for his "master". That made you even less suspicious of the trap he had just set for you.

That afternoon, Xavier invited you to play kitty cards.

“The loser will have to wear bunny ears for another twenty-four hours!” You grinned. Claw machine or kitty cards were both your best games.

Xavier let you go first, and as usual, he lost miserably to you in the first round. He claimed to have picked up a few new skills but was only able to win one round. By the third round, he seemed rather sleepy.

Xavier put one arm on the table to support his head. The heavy eyelids slowly closed. You called softly: “Xavier? Xavier?” But he still did not open his eyes. You glanced at the cats on the table. There were only two more cups left and the game would end. But your cards were not that great. You were about to lose to Xavier!

You looked up at the rabbit ears that Xavier had on his head, bobbing slightly with each nod. Anytime, anywhere, he could fall asleep, even while he was playing cards. You reminisced about the days when you were both on missions and he could fall asleep while still upright! Xavier had dozed off for real. The opportunity had come to you.

This was the decisive round. You could not lose to Xavier, because you still wanted to see him wearing those bunny ears for a long time. Those bunny ears affixed to his head was your trophy. You used to cheat while he fell asleep before, and you knew a trick of swapping cats in the cup so your opponent got points deducted. The important thing was to be skillful and quick. To double verify, you attempted to wave a hand in front of Xavier's face. When you saw that he did not react, you lifted up the red cat in the cup that he had received double points on.

"Good kitty…"

You hushed the cat so it did not cry out loud. Then you picked up the green cat next to it and prepared to drop it into the cup. Little did you know that all your actions were being observed by Xavier with a half-open eye. Immediately, he grabbed your wrist, causing both cats to fall.

“Ughhh!”

You screamed because you were startled. Xavier firmly grasped his hand, preventing you from backing away. The corners of his lips curled up into a perfect and cunning line.

“Got you!”

“Xavier!… You…”

You could not deny it, not when the two cats which you had just dropped were leaping around the table and meowing loudly. More than the fact that you were discovered cheating, the reason your face felt heated was because Xavier's hand was holding your wrist.

“How clumsy you are, Miss Hunter.” He smiled, his eyes filled with mischief, making you feel like you were put in danger. A bewildered and sleepy Xavier in an instant became a trap setter. He had been waiting for this opportunity since the beginning, even pretending to be drowsy to catch you red handed. Was he really asleep the other times or did he do it on purpose so you could win?

It was your turn to feel extremely naive. Kitty cards were originally your game, but with Xavier scheming like that, it was intolerable.

“This round doesn't count. Let's play another one!”

"That's fine. But first,” Xavier replied. He took out the pair of wolf ears he had hidden earlier. “Those who cheat ought to face their punishment.”

His voice was so soft, but you were left with shivers. Your arms and legs became weak, your face was burning again. Xavier loosened his grip but did not let go completely. He stood up to move closer to you.

"Please no! Oh! Where did those wolf ears come from anyway?

“Stay still.”

He said while you kept shaking your head, refusing to cooperate. At last, he had to lean down so close that his breath caught your cheek and you could not avoid his gaze anymore. Then he put the wolf ears on your head.

"Good girl."

He patted your head. His index finger gently pressed the tip of your nose and he smiled with satisfaction. You were not sure who was the rabbit and who was the real wolf anymore.

[rjthirsty]

Bound Forever

Gilbert/Reader Roderic/Reader

Words: 2k

CW: Major Character Death. Angst. Tragedy. Grief. Smut. Route Spoilers.

A/N: @scummy-writes did a piece on Gilbert dying called Normalcy Bias that inspired this piece. We've spoken at length about our Gil headcanons, and I admire her as a writer, so I wanted to give myself a chance to mimic the depth of emotion I read in her works. I'm honestly hoping to cause some tears with this.

Gilbert had disappeared again.

It was always terrifying when he vanished, because you knew the only reason he had for leaving without saying a word - he was unwell. Like a wounded or sick animal, Gil removed himself from the palace to find a place he could rest until either he felt better or he perished. Thankfully he had always returned, but you still hated every time he left, feeling helpless and worried sick that you might not see him again.

Walter knew before you did. He always knew when Gil left, but he wasn't allowed to say anything. That, in itself, was a giveaway on why you couldn't find your husband. Just looking at Walter these days answered the question for you since you had danced this routine enough times to know when Gil had told him to keep things from you. Today, Walter refused to make eye contact with you when you visited his office in the medical ward, pretending like he didn't see you enter. You didn't even need to ask. That was enough.

Roderic knew, though he didn't know where Gil ran off to, or even if it was the same location each time. Walter was likely the only one who truly knew where Gil was. Roderic was painfully aware whenever Gilbert disappeared, scared that his master - his friend - would never return. Since you became a part of their lives, Roderic would stay with you on those long days that Gil vanished and the two of you would hold hands and try to keep each other's minds off the possibility. Neither of you wanted to voice that possibility.

As night fell, the black castle felt darker and more hollow without Gilbert's presence. Alone in your shared room, you restlessly waited for your husband's return. Some absences would span a few days, some only a few hours. Today turned to tomorrow, and a sleepless night passed you by with still no word from him.

Another day with Roderic for company. Another attempt to keep your thoughts from spiraling to the worst case. Perhaps baking would help. Gil could return to an abundance of sweets and maybe, just maybe he'll understand how hard it is for you when he goes off like this.

Another dusk leaving you alone with your fears for company in your shared room. Another sleepless night. Another morning that looks more gray than the previous. Three days was the longest he had ever spent away. It had only been two. There was still hope he would return, though that hope was a candle in the fury of a storm right now, barely keeping lit.

“You need to sleep.” Walter scolded.

“I want to see him as soon as he comes home.” It was a silly reason to keep yourself from sleeping, but even if you attempted to rest, you'd be haunted by the thought of him dying somewhere alone. He was alone right now. Alone and sick.

“I'll wake you when he gets back.” Roderic offered.

You're tired. A short rest would be good for you, but… “I'm scared.”

The tears start falling as you hug yourself. Walter looks away, cursing Gilbert for putting you through this. Roderic watches you, unable to offer any assurances. He's scared, too.

Laying on the large bed you share with your husband, it feels so cold and empty. The sunshine doesn't touch here even with the curtains opened. Your pillow is wet from your tears. You can't seem to quell them.

“I'll be right outside,” Roderic promises.

What good would that do? You're still alone in this large room. Exhaustion weighs your eyelids down until you fall into darkness.

You wake into darkness. The large windows are filled with the night sky. The room has no candles nor lamps lit. A shadow stands near the bed, far enough that his presence is hidden but the dull, midnight light from the sky beyond the windows outlines his form. His black hair shines like obsidian and you draw in a sharp breath.

“Gil?” You whisper his name, fearful that the slightest noise would wake you from this dream and he would fade away like an apparition.

He doesn't answer. He's not really there. Again tears well in your eyes and stream down your cheeks.

“Don't cry, Little Rabbit.” He steps towards the bed, out of the shadows. “Did you miss me that much?”

His red eye gleams from the starlight. His smile is perfectly placed. Now that he's closer you can see the layers he's wearing, still in his cloak, he must have just arrived. You glance towards the door, wondering why Roderic didn't wake you. The closed door gives no answers, though it is clearly late so perhaps he went to bed.

Throwing the blankets off, you jump out of bed and run to your love. You throw your arms around him and nuzzle into his chest and the tears come faster. “Yes, I missed you that much!”

Shakily drawing in breaths between your outpouring of feelings and the sobs you try to swallow down, you continue as you cling to him. “Everytime you leave like that I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again! It's been three days! I thought the worst and I couldn't sleep and you can't keep doing this to me!”

Slowly, Gil's arms wrap and you. Gently, he rubs circles on your back to soothe you. He leans down to softly drop a warm kiss to your forehead. He has no words to comfort you. He makes no promises. He never does.

“That was the last time.”

Except, this time he does.

He's warm in your arms.

You draw back as the horrible realization hits you. Looking up into his single red eye that holds more emotions than Gil ever expressed, you take a step backwards. Shaking your head as if it would do any good to convince yourself this wasn't happening, you back up another step.

“No no no. No. Please. No!” A third step has you stumbling into the bed, falling onto it. You can't even feel your legs anymore.

The man posing as Gilbert slowly came closer. The man who hadn't woke you on your husband's return, because he had never returned. Roderic delicately cups your jaw. Warm hands. He wipes your tears, even as new ones fall. Warm fingers. He speaks in such a sweet voice. A voice you love. “It's alright, Little Rabbit. You won't have to miss me ever again.”

Grief so deep you never thought possible drowns your heart and sobs wrack you. Warm lips kiss your eyes as your pain pours out.

Somehow he was on the bed next to you and you fall against his shoulder. Warm arms hold you close.

He murmurs words of affection and hushes soothing encouragement. And when your sobs finally die down to hiccups and gasps and shuddering breaths, you find a handkerchief already in hand to help clean your face. He guides you through the movements you are too numb to manage on your own.

His lips touch the corner of your mouth. Dazed, you turn towards him and your husband's face looks so forlorn. Fingers touch below your chin, lifting it for lips once again to touch yours. So soft. A slow blink from you and you find your voice.

“Roderic–”

“Gil.” He corrects, and the offer is so tempting.

You knew this was always the plan. You hoped it would be a long time from now, and you had pushed it from your mind. But the time has come and now… it would be so easy to close your eyes and pretend it was all a bad dream.

“Gil.” You repeat, your eyelids falling close.

“That's right, Little Rabbit.”

It's his voice that gusts across your lips. 

A nibble on your bottom lip and a longing sigh rises from your throat. It's his teeth that catches you, so familiar in pain and pleasure.

His tongue touches yours and you can almost believe that he's still there with you. Your mouths move together, chasing the memory of the man you love through clumsy movements that aren't quite right.

It hurts so much. Your chest aches and head throbs and you just want to forget. 

Fingers find clasps, and pull ties, and brush clothing from both of your bodies. Were they yours or his? Does it matter?

Teeth sink into flesh and tongue soothes the pain and your body responds to the training you've endured to appreciate the way his love feels on you. Marks blossom on your skin from his mouth that burns too hot.

Your eyes burn, tears forming between eyelids squeezed tight.

Your chest burns, bleeding out from the inside.

Your groin burns, desire whispering sweetly that if you just let go it'll be alright.

Think of him.

Think of him.

It hurts so, so much.

Your fingers tangle in his hair. His fingers push inside of you. You cry out his name as he rubs along your inner walls, exploring you for the first time, finding the places that cause you to buck into his hand and whimper and moan.

He learns quickly. He has always known.

New overlaps with old as your husband touches on memories from times before. Building that sweet ache in the pit of your belly. Causing your cunt to throb and drip making lewd sounds that your lusty moans overshadow.

You're on your back and he's over you. When did you lie down? He pulls his fingers out of you and you whimper in frustration. You were so close to covering the hurt in your heart with the pleasure of climax and he snatched it away.

He's gone.

A single sob breaks between your gasping breaths. Tears brim again between your closed eyelids. They fall hot, so hot down the sides of your face. You're empty. Alone.

His cock touches your wet folds and you crack your eyes to see your lover with damp lashes. He looks away and buries his face in your neck as he buries his cock inside of you. Your back arches and thighs cling to his hips, as he clings to you with strong arms and roaming hands.

He pumps into you and you can't help but rock with him to squeeze and drag and churn his dick inside of you. Fingers digging into his back. Nails biting skin. He gasps and whimpers and moans near your ear. You love to hear him. His teeth dig into you. It hurts so good.

You're not alone. Your voice grows louder. He's relentless. Pounding your sex and knocking every moan out of you. Biting you again, and again, and again. Your cunt clenching tight as the pressure in your pelvis reaches a tipping point.

His thrusts turn too eager. His rhythm lopes out of pace. But you're so, so close! Please! Just– “Ah! Gil!” His hot hands grip your hips and he slams into you finding his rhythm again and he moans and heat and orgasm and shivers and spasms snap through you.

Your thoughts go blank, flooded with relief from the throbbing from before. Euphoria washes over you, wave after wave as your cunt continues to clench sending another crashing over you, then another. Gil slowed down his pumping to ride out the squeezing milking his cock. And just as you finally thought you were coming to the end of your climax, Gil thrusts deeper, his pelvis flush against yours, trying to push further still as he spills his seed into you.

You gasp. He breathes heavily on top of you. You hold him pressed against you– too hot. So hot. He's stifling. He clings to you. He needs you to smother his own pain. Pain you understand because the both of you share it. Pain neither of you can ever talk about.

He's gone. The two of you are together but his absence in this room you share with your husband is felt, as if there was a void that could never be filled. You hold each other, your hearts bleeding for the same person. Silent tears will be shed and it hurts. So. So. Much.

[lou-struck]

Snow Day

Tetsuro Kuroo x reader

WC: 1k

~ It's a dark and gloomy Monday morning. The kind that would be wonderful to spend in bed. But unfortunately, you have to get up and go to work, or do you?

Winter mornings are quite strange; your cozy bedroom is still flooded with darkness as your phone alarm pulls you from your slumber. It takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to this different kind of darkness. Instead of the blackness of the night sky, your world is tinted dark gray from the clouds that cover the fading stars and rising sun, whose light would usually peak in through your frost-covered window. 

Your sheets are warm and far too comfy to abandon, especially when you are curled up in a tender pile of limbs with your boyfriend, Tetsuro Kuroo. 

The raven-haired man snores softly next to you. His face buried in the crook of your neck he sleeps. It's so nice; your eyelids feel heavy as you sink deeper into your pillow, and your mind feels like it's reaching out to the hazy cloud of sleep that looms above you tauntingly. You feel as if you are almost able to grab a corner of it and pull your weary consciousness back into dreamland. 

Until the harsh blaring sound of not just one but two alarm clocks sends you back to reality, your body jolts awake, and you reach blindly over to your nightstand to grab your phone and silence the damn beeping noise.

Sleep would've been wonderful, but you forgot something very important this dark, sleepy morning. It's Monday, which means you both have to get up and go to work.

"Tetsu," you croak. Your first words of the day come out far choppier than you would have liked as you reach over your sleeping boyfriend to shut off his alarm. "We gotta get up."

"Nah, Come on, baby," a sleep-laced voice tickles the shell of your ear as his pale limbs pull you back into the comfort of his chest. "Don't you want to stay here and be cozy all day?"

You consider his words for a moment, but you pull yourself away from his tempting pile of cuddles with a sleepy sigh. "Can't." Your feet find the carpet and your lips turn upwards in a smile when you see the look of disappointment on the man's face. "We gotta go be adults."

"That's miserable." he groans as you slip away. Without your warmth, the bed feels less comfortable than it did a moment ago and he reluctantly slides out of bed just the same as you. 

You guys slip into your morning routine easily, standing on either side of your bed as you make it. Folding and smoothing each layer of your still-warm sheets. 

He notices that one of your pillows has been launched across the room, "Hmm, it looks like someone was angry at the pillows again." he teases, pointing to the little round decorative pillow that serves no use to either of you. 

"I was not," you say defensively. "It was probably just trying to escape since we don't use it." When he raises a brow at you, you cease with your anti-throw pillow tirade and walk over to the frosty windowed area to get the little guy and place him back on your bed. 

When you reach down, you are able to see a bit of the outside from a clear spot on the otherwise frost-covered window. The world around you is covered in white. Joy and nostalgia fill your heart as you see the thick blanket of snow that covers everything in sight. It encases your cars and decorates the treetops, and you turn to Tetsuro in excitement. 

"Tetsu! Look outside." you gasp, flicking your wrist and tossing the small pillow back onto the bed. 

"What's got you all riled up?" He walks over and sees the winter wonderland awaiting you outside and smiles. "Oh, Where did all this come from? I checked the paper yesterday and didn't see any snow in the forecast."

"Maybe you should look elsewhere for weather updates." you tease. Tetsuro has always been a bit of an old soul when it came to things like reading the paper or prepping his coffee black, even though he hates the taste. 

If he heard your jest, he doesn't reply. Instead of using his long legs to stride across, he uses his long legs to stride across the bedroom over to his nightstand, where his phone sits, lit up with a new notification. 

You notice from your bedside table your device lights up just the same. There is a skip in your step as you pad across the carpet to see who could possibly be texting you at this hour.

Due to last night's heavy snowfall, management has decided that the roads are too perilous for our valued employees to go into the office today. Any meetings or presentations are to happen over Zoom. -Thanks, Management

The short and sweet message from your higher-ups brings a gleeful smile to your face because you are one of the lucky few who have absolutely no meetings planned for today. Letting out a happy squeal, you set your phone back onto your nightstand and power it off. 

You won't be needing it anyway…

Slender arms wrap around your midsection as your boyfriend's warm breath tickles the shell of your ear. "Let me guess, you have a Snow day?"

"Mmmhmm," you nod excitedly, "And what about you?"

You feel his grin against your neck. "Snow day." he purrs. "What should we do first, my Love?" 

A new day wiped free of commitments doesn't always land at your feet like this; with so many possibilities, a part of you wonders how you can choose just one thing. 

But there is another part of you that knows exactly how you should start the day. Your body moves on its own accord as you flop back down on the bed, toss the stupid little throw pillow to its spot across the room, and wiggle under the blankets, effectively undoing the first productive thing you had done this morning. 

"I'm going back to bed." you declare, earning a hyena-like cackle from your boyfriend. 

"Good answer," he smirks. His long arms stretch out to close the curtains and darken the room so the pair of you can enjoy the rest of your day off snuggled up in each other's arms.

Tagging: @pixelcafe-network

[huramuna]

wine red, tears gold - chapter 6.

king aegon II x baratheon ofc

previous chapter | next

a bit of a slower chapter. there should be about 2 more after this & we are at the end (':

word count: 2.7k

please follow & turn on notifs for @huramuna-fics for my fic postings

content: smut, canon typical misogyny, canon typical violence, angst, fluff, arranged marriage, touch-staved aegon, aegon isn't a r*pist in this au but he is still a bad person and has his vices, ofc and aegon need to go to therapy together, justice for jaehaera, awkward sex, kind of a slow burn, infidelity, child loss, vomiting

cloudbursting - kate bush • playdate - melanie martinez

Alicent had thought she saw the last of death for a while. She had seen her grandson killed before her very eyes, seen her daughter’s skewered body upon the ground, a grisly tale of her son skewered through his eye, her other son burnt and suffocated. 

She had seen enough death for a lifetime and then some. 

When she had been awoken in the wee hours of the morn, it was still dark outside. Her handmaiden roused her from sleep with a panicked plea— the queen was in her labors. 

Labors? Lyanna wasn’t pregnant, was she? Surely Alicent would’ve noticed, as they spent every morning together since the girl’s arrival over half a year ago. 

She slipped on a housecoat and was escorted to the maester’s offices, where the robed man swept her aside immediately. 

“What is going on? Her grace cannot be pregnant, surely?” Alicent questioned, eyes narrowed. She didn’t dare look over at the pale figure in the cot, knowing it to be Lyanna. She wasn’t ready yet to see such pain once more. 

“The Queen is… was… roughly five moons along,” he explained softly, “Her chamber maids found her semi-conscious in a pool of her own blood, the room a mess— she… is fighting, surely. But the babe won’t be viable.” 

Alicent blinked profusely, searching the healer’s face for any sign of a farce. “You say she was pregnant?” 

“A matter of speaking, your grace. She is… laboring as we speak. The babe is stuck, however— at an odd angle.” 

“… what does that mean for Lyanna?” she asked, leaning forward. Alicent knew what it meant, of course— death was in the room with them, waiting. 

The maester gave the queen mother a hard look and shook his head. “Keep her in your prayers. The King… should be notified.” 

— 

Alicent sat by Lyanna’s bed, hand in bloody hand with her. The poor girl’s beautiful face was so pale, the blue veins in her half-drawn eyelids were visible. 

The labors weren’t much of a ruckus as they usually would be— Lyanna was severely numbed by milk of the poppy, and the maesters pulled out the babe. Alicent caught sight of it— its skin was gray and scaly, with a ridged tail and little budding horns, as well as a pair of perfectly miniature wings. It didn’t breathe, nor cry. 

“A son, your grace,” the maester announced solemnly.

The sight made Alicent want to vomit, but she swallowed it back, focusing on Lyanna. “You did so well, my love,” she cooed, dabbing her forehead with a damp cloth, “You did so well.” 

“See… may I… see the… the babe?” Lyanna asked, her voice so quiet that only Alicent could hear. 

Alicent’s heart clenched, brow furrowed. “Not yet, sweetling. They’re wiping him off now. Do you have a name in mind for him?” 

“Aeron,” Lyanna breathed, “For… Aemond… and Daeron…” 

A tear rolled down Alicent’s face as she leaned close to Lyanna, pressing their foreheads together. “Oh, my sweet girl,” she whispered, “My sweet, sweet girl. You’re the purest of us all, my love.” she cried fully now, eyes closed. She cared so deeply for the Queen, as if she were her own, or mayhaps more, and seeing the girl in pain agonized Alicent. 

Alicent Hightower wept for Lyanna, Aemond, Daeron, and Aeron. 

— 

Aegon did not arrive until hours later, after he’d been found. He bursted into the room like an ignited dragon. “Where’s my wife? My son?” he demanded. Otto followed behind him. 

Alicent stood up, her white nightgown stained in a bit of blood. She stared at her son, eyes narrowed with a fury she hadn’t felt in so long. “Out, Aegon— she’s asleep, finally, out, out!” she hissed, turning the King around and shoving him out of the chamber, closing the door behind them. 

SMACK.

Alicent laid a firm slap across Aegon’s face. “What took you so long?! Your wife was bleeding out, laboring your babe into the world much too early! And I saw the marks on her— she isn’t one of your whores, Aegon! What in the Gods’ names are you doing to her?” 

Aegon’s eyes immediately watered and he was the very image of a pathetic little puppy. He sniffed. “I didn’t— ‘twas part of our game, mother, I swear!” he simpered. “I never meant it… in a bad way.”

“Your game? Your game? Marriage isn’t a game, Aegon. Sex isn’t a game. You’re the only one she’s ever laid with and that is how you treat her?” Alicent was beyond fuming, not only for her good-daughter, but something within herself that has been long locked away. “Like some toy? She doesn’t know that it’s supposed to be gentle and loving— she must think that it’s normal to be treated in such a way.” 

The king shifted uneasily back and forth, looking down at his feet. 

“You never learn, do you? You’re just like your father.” she finally spat, eye to eye with her son. Her brown eyes were eclipsed with rage, lip curled before she descended back into the room to sit by Lyanna once more. 

Aegon didn’t follow— but he didn’t leave the Keep, either. Later that eve, the outside of his chambers was littered with discarded wine bottles, broken glass strewn about. 

— 

It was a week before Lyanna finally came back to herself— she was mostly coherent, eyes flitting about the room. A chair, now empty, was set next to her cot. 

There was another chair on the other side of the bed, which was filled. A tiny blonde head bobbed up and down behind a book. 

Jaehaera. 

She was reading, outloud, from a children’s book, legs kicking softly as she read. “It’s said that beyond the wall… there are dragons made of ice. They do not breathe fire, but blow frost from their gullets. Giants with feet as large as…” she paused, squinting, “wheelhouses, are said to ride the ice dragons to battle.” 

“Do you believe that, princess?” Lyanna murmured, her voice hoarse from disuse. “Ice dragons and giants?” 

Jaehaera blinked, her eyes going wide as she realized that her audience was awake. She ducked behind the book, crossing and uncrossing her legs. 

Lyanna hadn’t spent much time with Jaehaera, to be truthful. She didn’t wish to force herself upon the melancholic girl and wished for her to take her time to open up. The young princess had attended breakfast with Lyanna and Alicent a number of times, but usually didn’t speak, unless whispering something to Alicent. 

Jaehaera peeked over the book, her violet eyes looking at Lyanna cautiously. “… yes. I believe in ice dragons. Grandmother says…” she giggled softly, pulling the book down further to reveal a small smile, “that they aren’t real n’ the book is made up. But I know the truth.” 

“And what is the truth? You must tell,” Lyanna hummed, shifting herself in the cot so she was facing Jaehaera, giving the young girl her full attention. “I must know.” 

“They’re real n’ just sleeping beneath the snow, and they lay their eggs in the giant wall in the North. But… they take two… hundred years to hatch!” 

“Two hundred years? That’s quite a long time to wait for a baby dragon.” 

“Yup. I’m patient, though. Grandmother says it's my best… quar-lity.” 

“Quality, sweetling.” 

“Qual-ity.” Jaehaera repeated. 

Lyanna gave a reassuring smile. “You look quite deep into the book— how long have you been reading for?” 

“I came with grandmother… five days ago n’ started reading this to you… four days ago. I thought it might be nice to listen, even if you were sleeping…” she nods to herself, slowly coming out of her shell. “Sometimes, when I sleep, I hear stuff around me and it enters my dreams.” 

“Thank you for reading to me, sweet girl. I thought I recalled hearing about ice dragons in my dreams,” Lyanna chuckled. “Will you keep reading to me? Even if I’m not asleep?” 

Jaehaera looked down at the book, swinging her legs again. Her cheeks puffed slightly and she looked a bit bashful. “Uhmmm… maybe. Did… you still want to hear it?” she peered at the queen, head tilted. “… I don’t get to do much with friends anymore… they’ve all gone. Grandmother likes my reading but… sometimes she starts crying n’ I have to stop. Father is… too busy.” 

The queen felt her heart clench. Out of all of the victims of the Dance— Jaehaera, in her mind, had suffered the most. She lost nearly everyone. “Of course, I’d love to hear you read more. I’m quite interested in what else is beyond the wall, and I simply won’t believe what anyone else has to say about it, it must be you, dear princess.” 

The little princess gave a little giggle before she continued to read. 

—

The queen and the princess were inseparable for the next moon– as they had found some sort of comfort in one another. Lyanna would stop to Jaehaera’s chambers and escort the young girl to Alicent where all three of them broke their fast together.

It was certainly an odd feeling for Lyanna, as she never had been really good with children, so to speak. But after Aeron, she felt something was lost from within her. She only remembered glimpses of her son before they took him away. The sight of him, so tiny and riddled with golden and red scales like a little lizard, with a tail and leathery wings. The sight of him had sickened a few of the attending maids, causing them to vomit and clutch their proverbial pearls. 

She thought him a beautiful little boy and wished to know if he had his father’s violet eyes, or her brown. 

In her dreams, he had a curly mop of white blonde hair and brown eyes with flecks of violet, like wisteria petals upon a pond, shaded by a tree. He would speak to her in hushed tones, holding and tugging on her hand, babbling all sorts of nonsense like children do. She never saw beyond the confines of the small garden they would be in, the outskirts of her vision creeping in lilting black and hazy purple. 

But, nevertheless, it was an oasis, bright and sprightly like the first warmth of spring’s sun, warming their skin as Lyanna held Aeron to her hip, peppering him with kisses and love, while they watched ducks swim around in the petal speckled water. Dipping their toes into the chilled pool, a figure would approach. Another crop of blonde hair, somehow so familiar to Lyanna. The shape and gait of the shadow would liken itself to Aegon, but Lyanna could never see his face. He was dressed in black and green, with the crown of the Conqueror upon his brow, the indent of a smile perked upon his silhouette as he sat beside them. 

Aeron would be between them, speaking a language that Lyanna didn’t understand, but it sounded similar to High Valyrian. Aegon’s shadow would converse back, but his voice sounded so far away and disjointed, like a distant memory. The specter of the king would take off his crown, and hang it upon Aeron’s curled mop, flashing a toothy white smile and singing praises. A smile Lyanna longed to see. 

But it wasn’t real.

None of it was.

Aeron would never grow to be that sprightly little boy, and Aegon… the version that she’d concocted in her head of him didn’t exist. 

It likely never would.

These dreams, ever repeating ever since she lost Aeron, would make her wake in a cold sweat, already crying, her nightgown clinging to her like a second skin, sticky and itching. She would get up and pace, trying her best not to wake Jaehaera, who had snuck into her rooms more than once when she had a nightmare, a frequent plague for the young princess.

Some might consider Lyanna’s dreams something of joy– but they seemed like a nightmare to her, an illusion that made her feel like she was going mad. It felt so real, that when she awoke, she could feel her fingers grazing through Aeron’s curls, the soft smell of him was alive and well in her room. Until a gust of wind would dissipate it. 

And she would be alone with her thoughts, her longings and her dreams once again. She would crawl back into bed and wrap her arms around Jaehaera.

One eve, late into the night, Lyanna felt the indent of weight upon her bed. She didn’t open her eyes, as she was still flitting between consciousness and sleep– but her hand wandered over, expecting to feel Jaehaera. “... bad dreams, Haera?” she mumbled, her hand searching for the little princess’ own.

“... ‘tis not Jaehaera.” a voice murmured. Aegon.

Lyanna’s eyes snapped open, turning towards her husband, whom she hadn’t spoken to or really seen since Aeron’s passing. “Aegon?”

“... yes.” he whispered. He sounded small, like his vocal chords were stuck in a shell, echoing and far-flung from his usual cocksure smugness. 

“Are you… alright?” she asked then. She should be angry, she really should– but she had just had her dream again, where he had been so alive, so lovely and right that she couldn’t be mad at him in the moment. Her mind was still swimming with the illusion she’d created of him.

“No,” he breathed, shifting closer to her slightly. “Something is wrong with me.”

“Are you ill? Shall… I get up and call a maester?”

“No–” he pressed, his hand reaching out to grasp Lyanna’s wrist. It wasn’t harsh or forceful, but urgent, like a plea. “Stay. I… I need to explain myself.”

Her muscles tensed for a moment as she felt his hand upon her. It was warm and slightly calloused, but familiar nonetheless. “... okay.”

“I haven’t… picked up a bottle in near a moon, nor… touched a whore. I-I’ve been good,” Aegon whimpered. “I’m so sorry, Lyanna. For everything– Gods, I’m a fucking monster. I-I don’t know why I’ve done the things I did or said. It’s eating me from the inside like a sickness,” he took a shaky breath, sniffling all the while. He was crying. “I-I… I wanted to push you away. The moment I saw you with your… big brown eyes, so close to tears– I felt sorry for you, to be paired with me. You were good and pure and innocent– you didn’t deserve any of this– if I hadn’t been such a fucking coward, you… might still be carrying our son.” 

Lyanna didn’t say anything, but her breath hitched slightly at his words. They were clear and concise– tear laden and full of sorrow but it was the most sober she’d ever seen him, the most lucid.

“I can’t feel that it's my fault. Because I was too weak to say no to them, to put my foot down and refuse. I basically killed them all,” he continued. “I’m just a Godsdamned coward and I should be put down like a dog for what I’ve done, for what I allowed to happen– my entire family save for three people who don’t see me as anything more than a disappointment are all dead, Lyanna– I could’ve… I should’ve… I should’ve kicked and fought against it, told them to fucking stick the crown where the sun doesn’t shine. What kind of brother usurps his sister’s throne? What… why did I let that happen?” his hand was shaking against her wrist now, his voice breaking into small blubbers. “I’m a fucking Kinslayer, Lyanna.”

She didn’t know what to say, truly. But the sheer ache she felt in the depth of her chest caused her to reach out her free hand and thread her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to her as he cried, his entire body violently wracked with his sorrow. 

It all suddenly made sense to her– the drinking, the whoring, the violence, the barbed words. He was punishing himself, his damnation pushing away everything that may even be a little good in his life. He was sentencing himself to a life of ruination until it consumed him completely, leaving nothing left behind but a husk; all because he thought he deserved it. Because he thought he killed everyone he’d ever loved.

It made sense. 

Lyanna held him close to her chest, hushing and soothing his sobs. He had let go of her wrist to wrap his arms around her in turn. “I know,” she breathed, holding him like she had wished to in her dreams, tightly as so he wouldn’t disappear. “You only tried to… please… them– didn’t you?”

He nodded slowly.

“You just wanted to be loved.”

[rambleonwaywardson]

Clegan Astronaut AU - Part 15

Masterpost Read on AO3

AU Summary: the boys as modern day NASA astronauts. Taking place in 2025, Bucky is about to head to the moon as mission commander of Artemis III while Buck is CAPCOM at NASA. Established relationship (obnoxiously in love).

Author's Note: We may have been shorter last week, but we are longer this week. Good news is, the boys are heading home! Heads up, I am looking at probably two more chapters after this one(?) Who knows, but that's my current idea.

---

Is it possible to be nowhere and everywhere at the same time?

You’re driving on the flat open road of the west, not a single car in sight, nothing but nowhere spread across the Earth on all sides. Or you’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean, calm waves rocking you up and down, knowing that the world is at your fingertips even though you can’t see a single thing other than the water meeting the sky. You’re in a plane, soaring through the clouds, no worries, no pain, almost everyone who ever lived below you and endless possibilities ahead. Or you’re in a space capsule above the Earth, and you look into the star-spotted blackness out your window and you know. It looks like nothing, but in reality, there’s nothing but everything. An infinity that rests just beyond your reach. 

There’s something about being adrift in the great wide open that makes you throw your arms out to the wind, yell into the universe to let them know you’re there, you’re not afraid. Way out in the middle of nowhere, the great wide everywhere that you can’t see but you can feel in your heart.

John has spent his whole life chasing that feeling, grin on his face, cheeks reddened by the wind. His feet could never settle on the ground, always trying to reach the sky above, the moon, the stars, the infinity that dared him to hold on for the ride. Wild child, they called him. He wanted to find the top of the world, see it all stretched out before him.

The king of nowhere and everywhere all at once.

—

November 23 Somewhere between Earth and the Moon Or… somewhere between nowhere and everywhere

“Hey astrofag, welcome back.”

Bucky’s eyes open slowly, as if his eyelids don’t remember what their job is. Everything is blurry and unfocused, watercolor grays and whites. His body doesn’t feel right, adrift in a sea of nothing. Everything feels wrong wrong wrong, and his head feels tight and heavy, his eyes irritated, his face stuffy and sore.

Everything hurts. He blinks, and his vision assembles into something semi-coherent, shapes and lines that don’t make sense but at least are staying still for once. Someone is standing over him, a grin across their face.

Not standing. Floating.

Alex. Alex wasn’t here before. Bucky hasn’t seen Alex in…

When? When did he last see Alex?

Bucky’s eyes dart around the small crew cabin, but it sends a sharp pain through his head like needles poking at his brain, carving into his skull. He can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. Getting faster, too fast. Nausea is rolling through him. Panic.

“Hey, take it easy.” Rosie’s voice. 

Bucky can’t breathe. Or is he breathing too fast? His lungs burn. 

He gags on the air that tastes like metal in his mouth, feeling that sour acid creeping up his throat as his stomach tries to flip inside out. He tries to turn over, but he’s stuck. Something is holding him in place, and he doesn’t understand how that can be possible when it feels like all the pieces of his body have been disassembled. Weakly, he tries to break away from the restraint. Need out need out need out. 

But he can’t. He doesn’t understand how to move his body when his body is nothing. He is nothing. 

He wonders, if he believes hard enough that none of this is real, will he wake up whole again?

He might scream in pain when he tries to move his leg, but that might only be in his head. It’s hard to tell, when he woke up with a head-splitting ringing in his ears. 

“Get him up, get him up,” Rosie is saying. The panic in his voice sticks in Bucky’s mind. Two of a kind. 

Alex leans over Bucky, working to free him. He and Rosie pull him upright just before he spits the bile out of his mouth. It floats in front of his face, making him feel sick again as he stares at it, wondering why it’s doing that. He doesn’t know where he is. Or why. Or how. 

He wants to go home now. 

“Curt?” He whimpers.

“He’s sleeping, bud.”

Bucky doesn’t like that. Curt has been the only constant in this painful, pieced together existence he’s been living. He blinks, and everything goes all blurry again.

The last thing he hears before he passes out is someone saying Gale’s name.

—

“Gale isn’t here,” Rosie tells him.

He was. I heard you talking to him.

“You wanna talk to Helen about something?”

Bucky shakes his head. That movement alone sends everything spinning around him. His nose is all stopped up and his throat feels tight and sore. His stomach feels like it’s twisted all in knots. Rosie keeps trying to give him water, but he’s having a hard time swallowing, more often than not choking or spitting it back out, and he feels tears leaking onto his hot cheeks. He groans and curls in on himself, hoping that maybe if he closes his eyes, all of this will just go away.

“Hold on,” Rosie says, his voice muffled as he leaves Bucky’s side.

He mourns the loss of company, and he pulls his shaking left hand up to his mouth, pressing his wedding ring to his lips for comfort. Everything feels funny. There’s too much pressure in his head, and he doesn’t know why.

His limbs won’t listen to his brain, and he feels like he’s floating in the worst way. And he doesn’t know why.

Everything hurts so bad. And he doesn’t know why.

He feels like he’s gonna throw up. And he doesn’t know why.

Gale isn’t here. And he doesn’t fucking know why.

His whole body feels like it’s buzzing, like an electric current gone haywire. One wrong move and he might go up in flames. His heart is beating too fast and it won’t slow down. He can’t breathe. “Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Rosie’s voice is back. A warm hand rests on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re fine. I’m right here.”

He really wishes it was Gale, but he just doesn’t want to be alone. He’s scared that if he falls asleep alone, he might not wake up. Somewhere deep in a memory he can’t trust anymore, something tells him that someone out there doesn’t want him to wake up. Would that be better?

Something soft is touching his hand, rubbing across his knuckles. Rosie gently pulls Bucky’s fingers away from his mouth, helping him stretch them open and close them again around the object.

“Open your eyes, John. Take a look.”

Bucky does as he’s told, even though it makes him feel sick, and he lifts his head as much as he can to look down at his chest. There’s a small stuffed bear with soft brown fur gripped in his fingers, pressed against his heart. It’s wearing a NASA shirt and a name tag that says “Beary Egan” in a messy scrawl that Bucky would know anywhere. His heart jumps.

“Gale,” he whispers.

Rosie strokes his hair back soothingly, and Bucky falls asleep without feeling panic in his chest for the first time since he woke up on the moon.

—

“Gale isn’t here.” Curt strokes a strand of hair away from Bucky’s face.

Bring him back, Bucky thinks desperately. Tell him I need him.

He picks at the needle in his arm, but Curt swats his hand away. Get it out of me. He doesn’t know what it is. He doesn’t want it there anymore. He doesn’t want to be here. He wants to go home.

“Quit that,” Curt says, grasping Bucky’s fingers in his own to keep them still. Bucky struggles, but eventually goes lax when it takes too much energy that he doesn’t have. “It’s already all red, John. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Buck,” Bucky whispers insistently.

He searches Curt’s face, and all he sees is sadness as the other man sighs deeply and squeezes his fingers. “He’ll be back tomorrow,” he says, letting go of Bucky’s hand.

Bucky hugs Beary Egan tight to his chest and imagines Gale’s arms wrapped around him. He imagines the heat of his body protecting Bucky from the world, the strong set of his shoulders ready to take on anything that threatens to hurt him. He imagines his smile and his laugh and the fierceness and love in his eyes. He imagines his voice in his ear, the warmth of his breath, the feeling of his lips kissing the top of his head. 

If Gale were here, he’d make all of Bucky’s pain go away. If Gale were here, Bucky wouldn’t have to worry about anything at all.

—

“... Vertigo… TBI… bad combination.”

“What do we do?”

“... keep him comfortable… hope…”

“...ain’t happening.”

Bucky’s head hurts too much to even open his eyes. When he tries, pain rings in his ears like a physical thing hunting him down in this never-ending nightmare. He has nowhere to turn, no way to escape it. It’s already got him in its teeth. 

Voices drift in and out, but he doesn’t know who they are or where they’re coming from.

“Gale,” he tries to whisper, but his lips are dry and his throat is dry and his brain won’t form the word – the only word he knows. Gale. No one can hear him. Beary Egan has drifted away, somewhere he can’t reach, leaving him all alone in the darkness of this place he doesn’t know. He tries to reach his hand out, tries to open his eyes to look, but it all makes him feel sick.

Come back. Please.

Bucky turns his head to the side and coughs out the burning acid forcefully ejecting itself from his body. Somewhere, distantly, he’s aware of someone wiping his face. “Here,” they say. “We don’t wanna lose this guy do we?”

His fingers are being pried open, and he closes them around something soft. Something safe. He pulls the bear back to his chest, and he sniffs against the stuffiness clouding his head. He imagines the unknown voice belongs to Gale, even though it’s not even close.

—

Rosie feels a deep pain in his chest every time Bucky wakes up and asks for Buck. Every time, Rosie has to tell him “Gale’s not here right now, John. He’ll be back in the morning.” And every time, Bucky frowns, and he disappears again. Like Gale is the only reason he’s stayed alive this long and there’s no reason to exist if he isn’t here.

Rosie is a medical professional. And yet even he doesn’t wholly understand the role that love plays in an intensive care patient drawing in the next breath, and the next, and the next. In a matter of life or death, Rosie used to be inclined to say that, no, love doesn’t keep patients alive. The heart is no more than a muscle that pumps blood through your body, and your body is no more than a vessel for your brain. Your brain is no more than a collection of neurons that, through some miracle of life, let you think and interact with a complex world. Love is not a direct power source.

That’s not to say that the existence of human life isn’t beautiful. And that’s not to say that the existence of love isn’t worth living for. It’s just to say that the human body is going to do what it’s going to do, that intense feelings of love pulling a coma patient back to the surface is something straight out of a cheesy romance movie. 

But it’s possible that John Egan alone will change Rosie’s mind.

“He’s regressed since docking,” he tells Helen. It’s late on November 23rd, nearing midnight for the crew – 8pm in Houston – and they are well on their way back to Earth. It’s been 24 hours since Starship rendezvoused with Orion and Rosie and Alex had to pull John’s unconscious body through the hatch. He only woke up once Gale’s entire shift, which Rosie knows tore Gale up inside even if he won’t admit it to anyone. Bucky has woken a few times in the four hours since. Every single time he asks for Gale. 

“Buck said he’s been unconscious much of the day?” Helen asks.

Rosie rubs a hand over his eyes. He’s floating in the middle of the cabin next to John’s hammock, where he’s been stationed basically since they got the commander settled there in the first place. As he talks, he’s adjusting Bucky’s IV fluid. NASA asked him to ration it, but Rosie is terrified that decreasing the amount of fluid Bucky receives will mean he won’t regain enough strength. He’s become more and more concerned throughout the day, as the Earth becomes larger and larger through their window. Atmospheric re-entry and splashdown will be harder on Bucky’s body than even the Starship launch was.

Rosie’s worried that Bucky’s heart, his brain, his body won’t be able to handle the stress. If they can’t get some of his strength back, the intensity of their return to Earth might crush the life right out of him like a shoe to a bug. So how in this godforsaken universe is Rosie supposed to tell Gale that, even though they’ve gotten his husband this far, there’s still a chance he dies during re-entry?

“Rosie?” Helen says. Rosie squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head to re-center himself.

“He asks for Gale a lot,” he recounts. “He expresses pain – and as far as we can tell, he’s in a lot of pain. He only seems partially aware of what’s happening to him at any given time, but he won’t stay awake long enough for us to tell.”

“What changed?”

Rosie scoffs, even though he doesn’t mean to. It’s just that this whole situation is basically their worst case scenario – the kind of thing that they don’t even plan for much less practice coping with. They’re all just trying their goddamn best up here even though their best means subjecting their commander to baseline torture. 

“His body is having a really hard time adjusting to zero gravity.”

It’s funny, actually, because Major John Egan has never had a single problem with space sickness before. Even when the majority of astronauts experience symptoms of Space Adaptation Syndrome when first exposed to zero gravity, Bucky has never reported more than some congestion from the headward shift of fluids that they all experience. He’s never experienced nausea or vomiting, malaise, or loss of appetite. Hardly even a headache. Many of the other astronauts were jealous of him for that. 

“My best guess is the extra pressure in his head after a TBI is causing more problems than we can really anticipate,” Rosie explains as he tries to massage the tension out of his brow. He hasn’t slept in over 24 hours now, and it’s starting to get to him. “He’s extremely congested. Seems to be experiencing vertigo, headaches, confusion, a lot of nausea. His motor control has regressed. His ability to communicate has regressed.”

He can hear Helen typing away on her computer, recording this information for their records. “What are the odds it corrects itself the longer he’s on Orion?”

Rosie shrugs as he double checks that the IV is still properly inserted into Bucky’s arm. It made him feel like an absolute monster, but he had to restrain Bucky’s hands an hour or so ago because he kept pulling at it, obsessively trying to remove it. The only reason he hasn’t succeeded is because he can’t get enough control over his own fingers to grip something so small as the butterfly needle. Bucky tried to fight the restraints, and Rosie was impressed with the strength he exhibited for having almost no nutrients for days on end, but he was still too weak and gave up after half a minute. Rosie tucked Beary Egan into the sleeping bag with him, right over his heart, to keep the bear from flying away. 

“I’m hopeful,” Rosie admits hesitantly. “Usually SAS goes away within a day or two. But as I said, this is… a unique case.”

He floats his way over to where his laptop is stored by the main console so he can update the log he’s been keeping on Bucky’s condition. Things like Asks for and accepts water; Asks for Curt and Gale; Responds to pain stimuli; Complains about head and leg pain; 0800 - vomited bile; 1100 - vomited bile; 11:30 - Trouble swallowing water; 1300 - vomited bile; 14:30 - vomited bile; 1600 - scratching at head wound; Keeps trying to remove IV; 22:30 - restrained hands.

23:45 - decreased IVF.

Early this morning, Rosie was able to use their X-ray machine to check Bucky’s leg. He was happy to report that Curt managed to set it properly, and it should hopefully heal well enough once they make it back home. If they can keep Bucky from messing with it and potentially re-injuring himself.

Silver linings.

“I’m worried about the IV fluid.”

“I know,” Helen says.

“I was hoping I’d be able to get him eating solid food once he was back on Orion, but at this rate, I’m lucky if I can get him to swallow water without coughing it back up.”

There’s a brief silence before Helen comes back. “We think you should try giving him something easy tomorrow. Cereal or soup. You should have enough food rations to sacrifice some, if he can’t keep it down.”

Rosie watches the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest. Even in sleep, he looks pained. “I can try.”

—

Nassau Bay, TX

Gale has given up even considering sleeping in his bedroom. He spent last night tossing and turning on the couch, even though he knew he’d wake up with all sorts of pain in his neck and back. He has to admit, he isn’t twenty-two anymore. But the thought of sleeping in that too-big bed without John’s arms around him is too much. He’s forcing himself to stay in the living room, even though he’s terrified to be alone. Even though the darkness closes in on him, making him feel like that lonely child afraid of the night. He doesn’t want to bother Marge again; she’s spent too much time trying to hold him together. 

John’s pillow smells less and less like John. When Gale woke up far too early this morning, the creeping fear from a forgotten nightmare crawling over his mind, he cried into the pillow, mourning something that he nearly lost but hasn’t yet found again. Mostly, he shoves his nose against the pillowcase and tries to find the last remnants of that smoky-sweet scent that he would give anything to smell again. Counting the minutes, the seconds, until John comes home.

Before and during rendezvous, Alex and Rosie adjusted Orion’s course to drop from NRHO into LLO, so that they would dock with Starship and remain in low lunar orbit rather than continuing on into the much longer near-rectilinear halo orbit. The original flight plan called for continuing in NRHO for a few days before performing a burn that would essentially slingshot the crew around the moon and back towards Earth. But with Bucky still in critical condition, they simply don’t have that kind of time.

Early this morning, Benny walked Curt through a trans-Earth injection burn, kicking the crew out of LLO. If all goes to plan, the new flight path will bring them home in 3.5 days rather than the roughly week-long journey that NRHO would have necessitated. 

All that to say, Gale will be with his husband again in T-3 days. 72 hours. 4,320 minutes.

259,200 seconds.

About 260,000 heartbeats. 

One. Two. Three. Four…..

He’s given up trying to look through the wedding pictures. Sometimes he opens the tab on his phone and simply stares at that first look photo, the one of John seeing him in his wedding suit for the very first time. He imagines Bucky’s hands on his waist, the softness of Bucky’s hair beneath his fingers, that wayward curl over his head. He thinks about Bucky’s smile – perfect, carefree, beautiful, something sent by the angels.

Sometimes it hurts too much, and all Gale can do is try not to chuck his phone at the wall. He actually did once, when he stupidly gave in to the urge to go on social media. He had to relocate one of the framed photographs on their living room wall to hide the dent he made.

“Fag’s coming home,” people on social media say.

“I vote we leave him up there.”

Gale wonders how people can be so cruel to a man that has given everything for his country time and time again.

During Gale’s shift today, Bucky only woke up once. For eight hours, Gale stood or sat at his desk, wedding ring pressed to his lips, coffee clutched in a death grip, guiding the crew through cabin checks and correctional burns. And Bucky only woke one time, screaming in pain. Rosie and Dr. Huston both tell Gale that the Starship launch was a lot for John’s brain and body to handle, and they aren’t surprised he needs time to recover. They tell him that it isn’t really a step back, that it isn’t anything to worry about. But Gale knows they aren’t telling him the whole story.

What if they ruined his chances, strapping him into that rocket? What if it was too much for him to handle? What if he doesn’t recover? What if he’s made it this far, and he’s not strong enough to finish the journey home? And now, when they’re running out of IV fluid…

Gale’s whole life feels like a what if. He’s so, so close to having his husband back, safe in his arms. And yet they have so terribly far to go.

Minimal consciousness. Minimal consciousness. Minimal consciousness. That’s what everyone keeps calling it. That’s the official statement that Marge gave in the press conference that aired this afternoon. “Major Egan remains in a state of minimal consciousness… Hard time remaining aware… basic communication… vertigo… brain fog… confusion… pain…” 

That’s the purgatory that Bucky is in. 

“We’re hopeful he will continue to improve… we are doing everything we can to bring our boys home.”

The TV clicks off. Gale looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, alone, holding the pillow in his lap. He changed out of his work clothes when he came home and is wearing the Yankees sweatshirt and a pair of black joggers, his socked feet tucked beneath his crossed legs. Marge sighs deeply as she looks at him, remote in hand. “You’re just torturing yourself.”

“You’re the one who did the press conference,” Gale mutters.

“It’s my job, Gale.” She frowns as she sets the remote on the coffee table. “Go get your dogs. It’s a nice day, and you need fresh air. I can come if you want company.” She’s slowly starting to trust him again.

Gale shakes his head and gets to his feet, carefully placing the pillow back on the couch. “I’ll go.”

Marge is right, it is a nice day. Cool, but not cold. The bite in the air makes Gale pull the sleeves of the sweatshirt over his hands, and he thinks about walking through the neighborhood with John when they first moved here, almost exactly four years ago. He thinks about Bucky’s warm hand in his, his wild grin as he pointed this direction and that, pretending to be a tour guide of this place that he’d never so much as visited before. “To your left, you’ll see a wild seagull in its natural habitat…”

Benny answers the knock on his door faster than Gale expected him to, and when he meets Gale’s eyes, his face is filled with a worry that punches Gale right in the gut, a worry that Gale is simply not equipped to handle right now.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

Benny runs a hand through his hair and motions behind him, where the dogs lay on the hardwood instead of greeting Gale, tails wagging, like they normally do. “Pepper won’t eat. Did she eat breakfast?”

Gale feels his heart drop. The happy memory of John is replaced by dread washing over him. Suddenly, it feels far too cold outside after all. He rubs a sleeve-covered hand over his eyes. “I… I can’t remember,” he realizes. He bites at his lip, furrowing his brow. “Marge fed her. I can’t remember.”

He vaguely remembers Marge saying something about Pepper this morning. She looked concerned. He was so exhausted though, so drained. He remembers tightening his tie around his neck, feeling it choke the air from his lungs, adjusting the collar of his shirt as he nodded. He muttered something along the lines of “I’m sure she’s fine.”

How could he have neglected his baby girl? How could he have ignored something that was so obviously unlike her? How terrible of a pet parent is he?

He rubs his hand over his mouth, and Benny must see the distress clear as day all over his face, because he puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes. “It’s okay.”

“Why can’t I remember?” Gale whispers.

Benny chuckles softly and pulls him into a hug. It makes Gale feel pathetic, the way tears well up in his eyes so easily, and he holds his breath to stop them from spilling over. “If those bags under your eyes are anything to go by, you’re not sleeping,” Benny points out. “And Marge says you’re barely eating.” He sighs, holding Gale tighter. “Breathe, Buck.”

Gale struggles to draw air in through his nose, and Benny rubs his back. “What are we gonna do with you?”

“Send me to the moon, apparently,” Gale mutters. “Didn’t you hear, that’s where America wants to send us fags to die.”

He feels Benny go stiff, tensing at his cruel words. “Buck,” he breathes out, his voice full of sorrow.

“It’s fine,” Gale insists. He wriggles out of Benny’s hold and wipes his eyes. “I’m fine. I-I’ll take her to the vet tomorrow, if she doesn’t eat by the time my shift ends.” 

He walks past Benny into the house, kneels down next to Pepper as she lays on the floor. She whines and presses her cold nose against his arm, and he smiles sadly as he strokes her ears. “Pep, don’t do this to me, sweetie. I can’t…”

He sighs and closes his eyes. It doesn’t matter if he can or not; he has to do it all anyway. He has to keep them all afloat. Absently, he rubs his thumb over his wedding ring.

“That’s it,” Benny says. “Have you eaten dinner?” 

Gale shakes his head. Marge made pasta, but he could only stomach a few bites. She told him he’d have to try again later. “You’re supposed to be sleeping before Blue Shift,” he reminds Benny.

Benny motions to the door, referencing how quickly he opened it. “Does it look like I was sleeping? Now come on. I’m gonna heat up some soup and you’re not leaving until you eat it.”

—

November 24

Sometime in the middle of the night, Rosie wakes up to Bucky making panicked noises somewhere along the lines of “Uh??? Uh? Uhm…” his voice pitching higher and higher. Despite getting basically no sleep at all, Rosie scrambles at top speed to disentangle himself from his sleeping bag of a hammock, which is strapped vertically to the wall of Orion, and he fumbles with the switches by the main console to get the overhead cabin lights turned on. Curt, in the horizontally strung up hammock beside Bucky, mumbles in displeasure as he wakes and has to squint against the fluorescent brightness assaulting his eyes from above. Alex does the same from his sleeping bag, also secured to the wall, on the other side of the cabin. 

Rosie rubs at his own eyes as he pulls himself down to Bucky’s level.

“What’s wrong with him this time?” Curt asks through a yawn. Rosie knows it isn’t meant to come out as annoyed as it sounds. Curt, after all, has been the one dealing with every bullshit twist of fate the universe has thrown Bucky’s way this entire time.

Bucky’s eyes are wide as he looks up at Rosie, then down at his hand, which he’s holding in front of his face. Rosie doesn’t know how the hell he managed to break free of the restraints, but on some level he’s actually relieved. Because that means there’s no point in restraining him again. His breathing isn’t well controlled, shifting from quick gasps to hardly breathing at all and back. Rosie takes his shaking fingers gently and tries not to wince when he feels something wet against his skin. 

Red.

“He’s got blood on his hand,” Rosie tells Curt.

“The fuck?” Curt sits up and looks at Bucky. “What did you do?”

Bucky just keeps staring at his hand. He rubs his thumb over his forefinger, watching the red smear across his pale skin. He scrunches his nose.

“Bucky? Where did that come from?” Rosie asks. “I need to know.”

Nothing.

“John, can you look at me?”

Bucky looks back up at him, his eyes unfocused. “Huh?”

“The blood. Where did the blood come from?”

Bucky frowns and seems to notice the blood on his hand all over again. He grimaces and gags a little bit, making another kind of “uh” sound. Rosie braces himself, waiting for Bucky to throw up again, but he doesn’t. 

Rosie tries asking, “John, what hurts?” Since asking where the blood came from didn’t work.

Bucky tries to rub his eyes with his bloody hand, and Rosie has to catch his wrist to stop him from smearing it all over himself. “All’ve it,” he slurs. 

Rosie nods and takes a deep breath. He should’ve expected as much. “Okay, come on, let’s sit up.”

Bucky doesn’t protest when Rosie unzips the side of his hammock halfway and helps him sit up, but he does whine when the movement jostles his leg. His non-bloody hand tries to grab onto Beary Egan as he floats away, released from the sleeping bag, but he doesn’t have the coordination. Rosie plucks the bear out of the air and tucks him down into Bucky’s lap. 

“I know, I know,” he mutters as Bucky tries to reach towards his broken leg. He secures both of Bucky’s hands in his own to hold him upright and keep him from messing with anything else. “Curt, help me out here.”

Curt crawls the rest of the way out of his own hammock so he can hover beside Bucky.

“I’m gonna sit with him like this,” Rosie explains. “Can you check the back of his head?”

Curt nods and puts both hands on Bucky’s shoulders, using them as leverage to pull himself closer to his commander’s backside. Gently, he brushes aside the short strands of hair that are slowly growing back after Curt had to shave off the patch around the head wound. 

“Bingo.” His own fingers come away bloody, and he shows Rosie. “He broke open the stitches.”

Rosie frowns and looks pointedly at Bucky. “You’re not supposed to bother those.”

He can’t stay mad, though, when Bucky mutters a quiet but intelligible “Sorry,” even as his eyes are so unfocused that Rosie has no faith he knows what he’s apologizing for.

“I’m gonna have to wrap it all up again, you know.” Rosie tries to catch Bucky’s eye, but the other astronaut won’t look at him. Whatever thoughts are floating around his addled brain are somewhere far away from here.

Rosie asks Curt to update Houston. Then he tells him, “Get me some disinfectant, a rag, a water bottle, and some gauze.”

“Hold on,” Curt calls back as he floats towards the console. “Gotta change our wake-up song first.”

—

“As the sun comes up shining down on the ten, I did too much living and I’m dying again…”

Bucky wakes groggily to the sound of a tired, monotone chorus of his crewmates’ voices, a song blasting in the background. He feels hot and cold at the same time, and a shiver racks his bones, sending pain coursing through his leg. Nausea rolls throw him, and he bites his tongue to hold it back. Slowly, his eyelids peel open. They feel all sticky and wet, like when he wakes up with a fever in the middle of winter and Gale brushes his hair off his forehead with gentle, soothing fingers.

Gale isn’t here, though. They keep telling him that.

He squints through the bright lights of the cabin, despite the heavy ache in his head and sinuses. He can see the others starting to stow their sleeping bags around him, going about their morning. They all look as exhausted as he feels, and they’re all quietly mumbling along to the lyrics of a song he doesn’t recognize.

“I guess I lost my head at the Holiday Inn, but my blood run red, my blood run red.”

“What the fuck,” Bucky mumbles.

Curt’s face appears in his field of view, making Bucky flinch. “Hey! Astrofag!”

Bucky blinks slowly up at him and raises a hand to the side of his head. It’s all bandaged up again. He remembers the blood on his skin. Thought it was a dream. His fingers trail towards the back of his head, and he scrunches his nose at the sharp, stinging pain on his scalp, the pounding that intensifies as he touches the wound through the gauze.

Curt smacks his hand away. “Leave it alone, dude.”

“Shaved my hair,” Bucky mutters. He raises his hand in front of his face, studying the little bit of dried blood still stuck under his nails.

Curt chokes on a laugh. “You almost died. I think you can deal with a little hair loss, my guy.” He cocks his head. “Wait, did you fuck up the stitches cause you were mad about me shaving your hair?”

Bucky frowns. “Dunno.” He doesn’t even remember messing with the wound.

Curt pokes him lightly on the cheek. “I didn’t bring you all this way for you to get your scalp all infected, so leave it the fuck alone, yeah?” 

Bucky sticks his tongue out, and Curt rolls his eyes with a fond but annoyed smile that can only be accomplished by someone who knows you like the back of their hand, a sibling or best friend who you’ve been with through everything. Bucky, through the haze of his memory, remembers Curt starting to crumble in the lander. It feels good to see him smile like that again. 

Curt pats Bucky on the shoulder and floats away, leaving him alone as life goes on around him. His head spins, and he finds Beary Egan tucked back into the sleeping bag against his chest. He holds on tight to the bear as he tries to look out the window on the side of the capsule, his eyes struggling to focus. Earth is visible, an unassuming blue sphere rising out of the black nothing.

Alex appears next to him, and they meet each other’s gaze. “Want a better look?”

Bucky takes a few seconds to process that question, but his eyes flick back to the planet out their window, and Alex pats him on the shoulder. “Come on,” he says. He unzips Bucky’s sleeping bag as far as it’ll go, and he gently eases Bucky out of it, which is made easier by the zero-g. “Leg feel okay?”

“No,” Bucky grits out.

“Stupid question,” Alex agrees. “Good enough, though? I’m gonna take you to the window. Is that okay?”

Bucky nods, his eyes already locked on the window with a strong determination to orient himself in their solar system, see the view he’s been longing for, feel something other than half dead despite the pounding in his head. Alex grabs Beary Egan and helps Bucky wrap his fingers around him. “Hold on tight to this guy, alright?” Then he gently guides Bucky across the cabin to the little window that they’ve been using as a secondary position indicator. Curt follows with Bucky’s IV in tow.

“Would you look at that,” Alex breathes as they stand by the window. Bucky grins at him, and Alex grins back. He points. “Look at all those clouds.”

Bucky clutches Beary Egan to his chest with his left hand, so hard he feels his wedding band digging into his finger. And he presses his right to the cool glass of the window. It's even more beautiful than he remembers. “Home,” he whispers. “Goin’ home.”

He hears the click of a camera shutter behind him. But all he’s thinking about is Gale, asleep in their bed. Bucky wants to wrap his hands around his husband’s waist, bury his nose in his hair, inhale the scent of him. Sweet and earthy, like sandalwood and salt water. He wants to rest his head against Gale’s chest and hear the beating of his heart. 

He wants to go home. 

Once the cabin has been swapped from strange dystopian slumber party to astronomical work environment, Rosie helps Bucky complete any necessary sanitary tasks – a process which results in a lot of swearing, angry grumbling, pointed silence, and, eventually, a total loss of consciousness. 

Once Bucky comes to again, he refuses to return to his hammock, which they kept set up in the middle of the cabin, even though he’s so exhausted he can barely comprehend anything anyone says to him. Rosie sets him up next to the window again so he can stare out at the stars while they prepare to follow NASA’s orders.

Food. Attempt number 1. 

Curt hands over what Rosie can only describe as “goop” – rehydrated milk and wheat chex.

“There’s no way he’s gonna eat that,” Alex says.

They all turn to look at Bucky. His eyes are open, alert, but glassy. His cheeks are flushed in a way that Rosie is concerned about. He’s less lucid than he was an hour ago, when he first woke up, but Rosie isn’t surprised. His body doesn’t have enough energy to keep him going, especially with the lower amount of IV fluid. Bucky turns his head and raises an eyebrow when he realizes they’re all staring at him,

“We’re gonna try some food, okay?” Rosie holds up the package of soggy wheat chex. Bucky used to snack on it dry, but it’ll be too hard to swallow that way.

Bucky frowns. Shakes his head. “No.”

“We gotta get something into you, John.”

“No.”

“Can we try?”

Bucky looks back out the window, honest to God pouting. He crosses his arms protectively over his chest, the bear still clutched in his hand. He protested when Rosie tried to take it away to make their morning tasks easier.

“Please?” Rosie adds.

Bucky looks back at him, then holds his hand out, a scowl still on his face. Rosie nods and moves towards him. “Just nice and slow,” he says. “You wanna try holding the spoon?”

Bucky reaches up to take the little metal spoon from Rosie, but his fingers are too clumsy to hold the handle, sending a clump of cereal drifting into the air. Rosie takes it back, and it takes another minute of convincing for Bucky to recover from that embarrassment. “You’ll be able to do that in no time,” Rosie reassures him. “But only if you eat something.”

Bucky takes a long-suffering breath, but he lets Rosie feed him like a toddler, slipping a small spoonful of soggy cereal between his lips as Alex and Curt watch. He immediately starts gagging at the taste and the cereal pops back out in a glob that floats in front of his face. Rosie re-captures it inside the wheat chex package.

Bucky glares at him, and Rosie wants to laugh at the same time he wants to swear.

“Benny, wheat chex are a no go,” Curt informs Houston.

Bucky turns away and leans his head against the window, staring out into the darkness until his eyes drift closed, a frown on his face. “... and he’s out,” Curt reports. Alex and Rosie gently guide Bucky back to his hammock and get him settled into it. Bucky opens his eyes once and makes a confused, startled sort of noise. He asks for Gale.

Rosie tells him Gale isn’t here yet, and Bucky drifts away again. Rosie presses the back of his hand to Bucky’s forehead, and frowns when he realizes it’s starting to feel too warm.

—

Gale is going to need a hell of a lot more coffee if he has any hope of getting through today. It’s 8am, he’s just taken over the console from Benny, and his first cup is already empty. 

Reportedly, Bucky has woken up periodically since his last shift. Sometimes he seems aware of his surroundings, and sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he just stares at nothing, won’t talk, won’t move. Sometimes he asks for Gale and goes quiet when Gale isn’t there. Sometimes he’s almost capable of conversation. 

Most often, he complains about pain and nausea, and he keeps coughing up bile. Rosie is able to administer some pain medication through the IV, but the only anti-nausea meds they have need to be taken orally, and Bucky either won’t or can’t swallow them.

He broke his head wound open, but he didn’t seem to remember doing it or really understand that he did it at all. That’s what Gale hates to think about most: John, unaware and disconnected. Just floating in space, not comprehending or understanding anything that’s happening around him, because that state of nothing is the perfect antithesis of Gale’s energetic, carefree, competent husband.

On top of that, they’re concerned that Bucky is developing a fever. In space. After the whole crew quarantined for days before launch, and they’ve been staying in crew capsules assembled in clean rooms. There is no reason John should be getting sick now, three weeks into the mission. The flight surgeons all agree: there’s only two possibilities. On one hand, it may just be psychogenic, a spike in his temperature due to extreme stress. On the other, it could be neurogenic, resulting from the TBI, which can easily be fatal if not treated properly. Gale tries to take deep breaths and not think too much about that. 

Bucky won’t eat either. Just like Pepper won’t eat. Just like Gale himself can barely eat. Together, spread across 230,000 miles, they’re just a dysfunctional little family trying to survive to the next day.

“Get any sleep?” Croz asks him.

Gale shrugs.

“Bags under your eyes are lookin’ lighter today.”

Gale rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Croz. I’m flattered.”

He’s starting to review the course correction burns that Curt and Alex need to perform today when a muffin and a cup of coffee land on his desk.

“Eat,” Marge instructs him. When they arrived at JSC this morning, she headed off to yell at more media outlets to leave Gale the fuck alone after a reporter accosted them on their way in. He gave a brief comment, mostly because he was too tired to run away, but Marge took it upon herself to continue waging war. Apparently, yelling at the media to get a goddamn grip and chill out is a major part of her job right now. And apparently, yelling at the media includes getting coffee and pastries.

Gale reaches for the cup of coffee in relief, but Marge smacks his hand. “No. Not until I watch you take at least four bites of that muffin.”

He glares at her. “What if I don’t want a muffin?”

“It’s chocolate chip.”

He looks at it skeptically. But he picks it up, aggressively peels the wrapper away from one side, and shoves a bite into his mouth. “Where’d this come from?”

“The cafe, where else? You’ve had them like a hundred times.”

Gale stares at the muffin. “I don’t remember them being this good.”

“That’s just ‘cause you haven’t eaten anything in three days.” She flicks him on the arm. “Now finish that. And don’t drink your coffee too fast, okay?”

Croz scoffs, and Gale and Marge both look at him with an unamused scowl. He puts his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. We all know the coffee’ll be gone in 15 minutes.”

Marge flicks him on the shoulder and walks away, standing tall in her heels, chin held high. The only thing to give away her own exhaustion is the way she can’t stop tapping her fingers nervously against her arm.

Gale shakes his head as he watches her go, takes a long sip of his coffee as Croz stifles a laugh beside him, and he turns on his coms. “Good morning Orion crew…”

—

“Operation get John to fuckin’ eat something, take four.” Curt makes a motion with his hands like he’s closing a film clapboard.

They tried more food about an hour after the wheat chex failure, but Bucky promptly threw up the first bite of soup he took. After that, he adamantly refused to let any of them get anything remotely close to his mouth that wasn’t water. Every time Rosie tried, Bucky would shake his head and close his eyes, wrapping an arm across his stomach. 

“Think he’s still feelin’ sick,” Rosie told Benny.

This time, Bucky’s cheeks are still red, but his eyes are brighter. “Fuck off,” he tells them, in a voice that has a vague semblance of its old strength back.

Rosie’s been trying to talk him into at least trying the chicken noodle soup for about five minutes now. Just the two of them in the middle of the crew cabin while Alex and Curt try to ignore them, going about everyday Orion tasks. Alex is using their little exercise box to do some rowing, while Curt checks the calculations for their next burn.

“Bucky, I really need you to at least try.” Rosie mixes the soup around in its container to keep it from settling. “I promise, this is better than the cereal.”

Bucky shakes his head. “No chex. No soup. No.”

Rosie is, at the very least, proud of the longer sentences Bucky is starting to manage during his more lucid periods. 

“Ok, hold on,” Rosie says, pointing at Bucky as he floats away towards the console. He returns with Bucky’s coms, which they’ve kept off of him since he’s been back on Orion. They were just another thing that Bucky kept messing with, and they don’t fit quite right over the bandage around his head. 

Rosie situates the headset over Bucky’s head anyway, pushing up the gauze to make sure the earpiece sits right. Bucky raises a hand to adjust the headset himself. Another silver lining Rosie has noticed: although it took longer for Bucky to adapt to being in zero gravity again, as he gets used to it, zero G makes it a bit easier for him to move.

Rosie: “Buck, I’ve got Bucky on coms here.”

Gale: “... John? Can you hear me?”

Rosie watches Bucky carefully, watches his lips move, his eyes go wide, his breathing pick up.

Bucky: “Gale?” His voice sounds soft and strangled all at once. It tugs at Rosie’s heart as he sees Bucky’s reaction to finally hearing his husband’s voice after asking for him over and over again.

Gale: “I’m here, John.”

Rosie: “He doesn’t even wanna try eating the soup I made for him. How rude is that?”

He watches Bucky roll his eyes, the hint of a smile teasing at his lips.

Gale: “John, can you at least try to eat a little?”

Bucky: “No.”

Gale: “Why?”

Bucky: “Bad.”

Gale sighs. Bucky looks at Rosie petulantly with his arms crossed over his chest and a look of disgust on his face. Rosie glares right back. A battle of wills.

Gale: “John, I really need you to eat something. Please, darlin’.”

Rosie can hear the tired pleading in Gale’s voice, and he knows Bucky can, too. He watches Bucky’s expression of contempt falter, melting away as it’s replaced with worry for his husband.

Gale: “If you eat, Rosie might be able to get rid of that IV soon. I know how much you hate that thing.”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably, but he uncrosses his arms and looks skeptically at the soup. Major Beary Egan drifts away from his hand, and Rosie catches him, returning him to Bucky.

Rosie: “I think we’re getting somewhere, Gale.”

Gale: “John, can you eat for me, honey? Please?”

That does it. Bucky looks up at Rosie expectantly and says “Fine.” He lets Rosie spoon some of the lukewarm soup into his mouth, and he swallows it this time.

Rosie: “Good. That’s good, Bucky.”

Bucky manages a few spoonfuls, grimacing when he feels the chunks of chicken and carrot sliding down his throat.

Bucky: “Yuck.”

Gale: “You’re doin’ alright. I’m proud of you, John.”

They get about halfway through the pouch of soup when Bucky pulls away and shakes his head in refusal, his brow furrowed. He lifts a hand to press against his stomach as he closes his eyes and scrunches his nose.

Rosie: “Shit.”

Gale: “He okay, Rosie?”

Bucky tries to cover his mouth with the hand holding Beary Egan, and Rosie lunges forward to grab the bear just in time. Much of the soup comes right back up, making even Rosie grimace with a heavy sigh.

Rosie: “Couldn’t keep it down, Buck.”

Bucky: “Bad.”

“Gotta say,” Alex mutters from behind them. “I preferred it when all he was coughing up was bile.”

—

That evening, Gale sits in the back seat of his own car outside the vet’s office, Pepper curled up tight as can be beside him, her nose pressed into his thigh. They’re waiting for Marge to finish with a phone call, and he watches her pace around in the parking lot outside. He feels bad that she had to chauffeur them here just because she doesn’t trust him on his own.

He doesn’t trust himself either, really. His head feels too muddled, his lungs too overtaxed, his body just dragging through the motions with no real life in it.

There’s nothing wrong with Pepper. A perfectly healthy one year old husky, the vet said.

“Her other daddy’s in space, isn’t he?” she asked. Gale nodded tiredly – because of course she knows what’s going on, just like everyone else on this planet – and he tried not to show contempt when the look on her face turned to sympathy. He doesn’t want sympathy. He’s tired of everyone looking at him with sympathy. Or disgust. Or like he’s a good story that’ll get viewers.

Then the vet said, “Sometimes dogs get depressed when their people leave for a long time. It’s a common reason for them to refuse their food.” He had to fight to hide the way those words dug into him, adding to the pit of fear and exhaustion deep in his soul that only grows by the day.

She told him to try giving Pepper a lot of attention and encouragement when he’s home. Make sure she knows she isn’t alone. As if Gale doesn’t feel like he’s drowning, too. As if Gale is even capable of taking care of himself.

He gently strokes the dog’s head as they sit in the car. “I really need you to eat something, baby girl,” he says, just like he said to John earlier today. “Please.”

He rests his head against the seat and closes his eyes. John’s temperature is too high, and it isn’t responding to medication. It plateaued around 100 degrees, though, and he continued improving overall in spite of it. By the end of Gale’s shift, John finally managed to keep down a packet of chicken noodle soup. Mission control celebrated that victory with no less enthusiasm than they would a successful launch, getting to their feet and clapping and cheering, high-fiving each other. Croz patted Gale on the shoulder with an ecstatic grin. 

All Gale could do was tilt his head back in relief. “Good job, darling,” he said to his husband.

“Happy?” Bucky’s voice came back.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

While he and Marge sat in the waiting room with Pepper, Benny texted him. J wants you to know he drank orange juice. No vomit.

Gale allowed himself a small smile and texted back, Tell him I’m proud of him.

The response was, He said “fuckin’ better be.” And Gale burst out laughing in the middle of the veterinary office. He had to apologize to the old lady sitting across from them, holding an ancient-looking terrier on her lap. “My husband might not die,” he explained, and the lady stared at him like he was insane.

His phone buzzes again just as Marge opens the car door and slips into the driver’s seat. “Ready?” she asks. When he doesn’t respond, she looks over her shoulder at him. “Gale?”

Gale’s eyes are wet, and he rubs at them, but it doesn’t stop the tears from falling. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Marge asks.

He shakes his head with a small smile as he turns his phone to show her. It’s a picture of Bucky that Curt took this morning and managed to send through to Mission Control. Bucky, looking out the window of Orion at the beautiful Earth in the distance. His head is all wrapped up, but he’s holding Beary Egan tight to his chest, and he’s grinning from ear to ear as he presses his other hand to the glass. On top of the world.

The accompanying text reads: “‘Goin’ home’ -John”

—

November 25

Curt is worried that Bucky is having another seizure when he first notices the way his body is trembling in his sleeping bag. “Rosie?” he calls out as he gets himself out of his own hammock. He doesn’t know what time it is, but their morning alarm hasn’t gone off yet. His mind flashes back to being on the lander, his heart pounding in his chest as he remembers pinning Bucky’s unconscious body to the cot, not knowing if or when the violent jerking would stop.

In a panic, he pulls himself over to Bucky’s side and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Rosie?” he says again, fear rising up in his voice as his throat goes tight and his lungs struggle to take in air.

“I’m coming,” Rosie replies. The lights flick on. “What’s wrong?”

He reaches them before Curt can find the words. Bucky is shivering uncontrollably, but it’s different. Not like the seizures Curt had to hold him through on Starship. The tension doesn’t leave Curt’s body, but he feels the nightmare memory slowly recede.

Rosie presses the back of his hand to Bucky’s sweaty forehead. “He’s burning up.”

Bucky’s eyes open, glassy and dazed. “Rosie?” he whispers. “C-cold.”

Rosie strokes his hair back gently. “You’re burning up, John,” he repeats. Curt hands Rosie a headset as he pulls his own over his ear.

Rosie: “Benny, do you copy?”

Benny: “Loud and clear, Rosie. It’s too early for you to be up.”

Rosie: “Do the bio-sensors have a good read on John’s temp? He’s running pretty hot up here.” They wait for Benny to check with Smokey.

Benny: “Still hovering around 100.5.” High, but manageable. And most importantly, stable.

Curt: “He’s shakin’ real bad, Benny.”

“P-please?” Bucky whimpers. His hand weakly grabs at Curt’s arm, and Curt searches his face for any sign of a way to make this better. He puts his hand over Bucky’s and squeezes gently.

“We’re right here with you,” Rosie soothes, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be alright, John.”

“‘M cold,” Bucky mutters again, pulling Beary Egan close so his nose is buried in the soft fur.

“I know,” Rosie says. But Bucky’s eyes are already closed again. All Curt and Rosie can do is sit there and reassure themselves that Bucky is, at least, still breathing, still talking, still fighting to get home.

—

Later in the morning, while Rosie gets in his mandatory workout for the day, Curt and Alex review the flight plan for the remainder of the mission. They’ll have to perform another mid-course correction burn in the afternoon as they approach Earth, and they’ll enter Earth orbit overnight to prepare for atmospheric re-entry bright and early tomorrow morning. 

“These numbers look right to you?” Curt asks as he chews on a mouthful of dry wheat chex.

Alex glances over at the telemetry data on the console, which Curt is comparing to the burn they have planned. “You’re the pilot,” Alex reminds him, shrugging even though he’s the one who’s been doing the Orion orbit calculations since Curt abandoned them for the lunar surface.

“Sorry, why are you on this mission again?” Curt shoots back with a teasing smirk. Alex flips him off and pushes him away from the console so he can review the data.

“Curt?” 

They both turn around at the sound of Bucky’s gravelly voice, and they see the commander watching them. “What’s up astrofag?” Curt asks as he pops another piece of cereal into his mouth.

Bucky sticks out his tongue at the name and Curt does it back to him, making Alex laugh. They’ve collectively determined that, while Bucky’s hands are still shaky, sticking out his tongue is his new equivalent of flipping them off. He and Curt do it to each other constantly when Bucky is awake. 

“More orange juice?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, bud. I’ve got more orange juice.” Curt motions to Alex to go retrieve it while he helps Bucky to sit up. “How ya feelin’?”

“Like shit,” Bucky mutters. Curt double checks that the IV is still in place. Bucky hasn’t been able to eat reliably enough to have it removed yet, but they’ve lessened the amount of nutrients he receives through it. His temperature hasn’t changed, and he’s drenched in sweat no matter how much they try to cool him off. But he’s become far more coherent, even if it isn't consistent.

Alex returns with a pouch of orange juice, and Curt holds onto Beary Egan so Bucky can reach for it. He manages to hold onto it with both hands, his fingers shaking, but he can’t keep it steady enough to get it to his mouth. Alex helps him hold it, letting Bucky sip at the juice.

Curt watches Bucky’s eyes widen as he pulls away from the straw, staring in alarm at his own hand. “You good?” Curt asks.

Bucky rubs his thumb over his wedding ring, trying to tug it upwards on his finger even though he can’t accomplish that any better than he could accomplish holding the juice pouch. “Gonna lose it,” he mumbles. “I-I want this… I…” He squints as he loses his train of thought, staring dumbly at the ring.

“Want me to get that on a chain for you?” Curt asks him. Bucky nods, still looking confused and startled. Curt hands the stuffed bear to Alex and heads off to find Bucky’s PPK kit, where he put the chain after the initial accident. When he returns, he feels stupidly proud to see that Bucky is managing to hold the juice pouch on his own, sucking on the straw. His face is flushed, and he looks like shit, but for a second, Curt can almost believe that everything is normal. That Bucky’s just a little sick, nothing to worry about. That the danger of getting him through re-entry isn’t looming over them all like an incoming storm.

“Here, give it to me,” Curt instructs, pointing to the ring. Bucky holds out his left hand but has to stop drinking the juice when his right isn’t controlled enough to hold the pouch on its own. Alex reaches forward to catch it when it slips out of Bucky’s grip. Curt slides the silver band off Bucky’s finger and onto the chain. Then he secures it around Bucky’s neck. “There you go.”

Bucky reaches a hand up to clutch at the ring. “Better.” Then he looks at Alex and demands, “Bear.”

Alex obliges and hands the bear back, then offers the juice again. Bucky shakes his head in refusal, and Curt decides that they shouldn’t push their luck. From across the cabin, Rosie, ever the doctor, calls out, “Those are some good words, John! Gale’ll be proud.”

—

“Good morning, Artemis 3, how do you read?”

Gale settles in his chair and sips his coffee as he waits for a reply. When there isn’t one, he frowns and sets the cup down. “Come in Artemis 3, how do you read?”

“Loud and clear, angel.”

Gale freezes, his lips parting as he tries to process the beautiful sound of that voice, strong and intentional. “Come again, Orion?”

“Y-you heard me…” Bucky coughs a little as he stutters through the words. “The first time, Gale.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Gale says, and he can’t stop the smile that breaks out over his face. Beside him, Croz is grinning at him. Everyone in mission control has stopped what they’re doing, and for the first time, they’re staring at him not out of pity, not out of fear, but out of hope. 

“Ready to come home, John?” Gale asks.

“Eh, think I might just s-stay out here. G-good amenities.” 

Gale laughs and hides his smile with his hand as he stares at his computer. Bucky’s vitals are displayed on one side of the screen. He’s running hot, but his heart is strong.

He only stays conscious for about twenty minutes after that, and speaking soon becomes too tiring for his fever-addled, space-sickened, TBI brain. But hearing his voice, those words, made Gale feel like he could take on anything for the rest of the day.

About halfway through his shift, he thanks Croz when he hands him another cup of coffee, and he flips through the notes he’s been given.

Gale: “Alright Orion, we’ve got a minor change here on your flight plan whenever you’re ready.”

Curt: “... Thought the numbers looked a little fucked here this morning. Glad to hear your people caught on, Buck.”

Gale rolls his eyes and he and Croz share a look. It’s good to hear Curt getting back to normal, rather than being angry and anxious all the time. Gale gave up pointing out foul language around the time his husband almost died, and even after returning to Orion, Curt has taken full advantage of his moral leniency.

Gale: “Sure, Curt. Croz has new numbers for you.”

Curt: “Alex I fuckin’ told you.”

Alex: “Hey man, I agreed.”

Gale: “Whenever you’re ready boys.”

Curt: “... Hold on Buck… John, fuckin’ quit pickin’ at that. No. I know you don’t like it but I’d rather you stay alive, okay?”

Gale: “Okay, Curt?”

Curt: “Your husband’s new favorite pastime is trying to tear out his IV.”

Gale takes a deep breath and sips his coffee. He asks Curt if he wants him to talk to Bucky.

Curt: “…He’s passed out again, little asshole. Ready for the new numbers whenever you are.”

Gale: “Okay, we’re lookin’ at changes to your final mid-course correctional burn. The NRHO abort is causing you to come in too high.”

Curt: “Copy. Let’s make sure we don’t burn up on re-entry.”

Gale gives them new positional targets and a longer burn duration.

Alex: “And are we still on time for that burn?”

Gale: “Affirmative, Orion. Coming up in… 52 minutes.”

An hour later, when the burn is complete, Croz informs Mission Control that the crew capsule is perfectly on target for re-entry, and Gale grins as he sips his coffee. It’s the end of his shift, and Helen is standing by to take over the console.

Gale: “Orion, you are on target now. Trajectory nominal. Systems nominal.”

Curt: “Good to hear, Buck. Wouldn’t wanna come this far to fuck ourselves now.”

Gale: “We’re gonna get y’all home.”

Just as he’s about to inform the boys of the CAPCOM switch, Curt says, “Got someone who wants to talk to ya, Major. He’s been all antsy about it this entire burn.” Gale blinks and a smile lifts the corner of his mouth, but it runs away again when he hears the nervous tone of Bucky’s voice.

Bucky: “Gale?”

Gale: “I’m still here, darlin’.” 

Bucky: “You married me…”

Gale quirks an eyebrow, a huff of a laugh passing between his lips at the out-of-the-blue statement of fact. But before he can say anything, Bucky is pushing through.

Bucky: “I-I know…” Bucky takes a deep, shaky breath. “Was ‘cause you were worried somethin’d happen.”

Gale: “Don’t strain yourself, John.”

Bucky’s barely said a word since he greeted Gale this morning. It takes too much out of him. Orange juice and half portions of soup can only go so far, and they don’t do much of anything for the brain fog or TBI symptoms. Bucky ignores him, though. His breathing sounds distressed, and his voice is quiet and mumbled. Gale can see his heartrate on his monitor, beating too fast, but John gets the words out.

Bucky: “Was it ‘cause y-you loved me, too?”

The question slams right into Gale’s chest, knocking the breath out of him. He feels the eyes of every single person in Mission Control shift his way, and he forces himself not to pay them any mind. He doesn’t want to see the looks on their faces. He doesn’t want to know if it’s pity or echoes of John’s question or incredulity at the mere concept of Buck not loving Bucky so much he thought he might vanish from this existence the moment his husband did.

Sure, the reason he finally popped the question after months, even years, of thinking about it was because he was worried his worst nightmare would come true. And, well, here he is. But how is it possible that Bucky can sit there and think even for a second that Gale didn’t also do it because he loved him?

He tries to tell himself that Bucky is all sorts of mixed up right now. That he’s been passing through intense stages of fear and pain and confusion. That he’s not thinking straight. Random things have been popping out of his mouth all day, and he hardly seems aware of what he’s saying. Gale thinks about Helen and Benny telling him how much Bucky would ask for him when he wasn’t on shift, and Gale wasn’t there. He wasn’t there for his husband when he needed him.

Sure, giving Gale 24/7 access to the console would be a one way ticket to actual psychosis. Chick denied his attempts to sleep on a cot at JSC after Bucky first got hurt, and Gale is honestly glad for it now. But to Bucky, who has been in and out of consciousness with little sense of time or continuity?

Did he think Gale abandoned him?

“John,” Gale says, his voice thick. He flexes the hand he tore up on the mirror, what feels like forever ago now. There’s hardly any scabs left to pull at the skin, and he’s surprised at the lack of pain. He presses his wedding ring to his lips instead, and he takes a breath to pull himself together. “Of course I married you because I loved you. I love you so much, sweetheart. Couldn’t stand not bein’ married for one more second.” He rubs his hand through his hair and tries to steady his heart. “I did love you. I do love you. I will love you. Okay?” 

Bucky makes a noise that sounds like something between an okay and a satisfied hum. Like this question that just sent Gale into a tailspin wasn’t monumental in any way. Like he got the answer he wanted and now, as far as John’s concerned, everything is okay.

Gale: “To the moon and back, John. I can’t wait for you to come home to me tomorrow.”

Bucky: “Tomorrow.”

Gale nods, blinking back the wetness in his eyes. He smiles again.

One day. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. Only 100,000 heartbeats. He pretends he can feel John’s heart beating in time with his own, and he watches on the monitor as it starts to slow.

Gale: “Yeah, John. Tomorrow.”

---

---

Part 16

Big thank you to everyone who has been reading this AU for a while and also everyone who has picked it up in recent days. People telling me you read it all in one sitting, y'all are crazy and I love you ❤

[bored-storyteller]

Warning: none

Twisted Wonderland, Jamil Viper x Reader

Brekfast

“It's not dawn yet, what are you doing here?”

His voice sounds like a gust of wind in the desert, powerful and sweet, warm and elusive at the same time. And look at you, busy holding back the yawns from sleep deprivation.

Yet today you weren't able to get there before him. Indeed, it would seem that Jamil was waiting for you, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest.

You feel like a trapped mouse as you hold the still warm bag in your hands.

“Good morning…” you manage to stammer. You haven't done anything wrong, yet being caught in the act agitates you, embarrasses you and maybe even scares you a little.

"Good morning." He's cordial, but you feel the pressure of things to do already pressing into his voice.

While he's already talking to you, he moves around the kitchen, taking ingredients and utensils to prepare the breakfast of his precious housewarden.

It's the fifth time you've sneaked out in the wee hours of the morning to leave that little bag in the kitchens knowing full well that the busy deputy would show up early, but up until now you've timed it beautifully and your identity has remained a mystery. At least that's what you hoped.

“It's very kind of you.” His voice is soft and formal as he cuts fruit into wedges, and his lack of attention to you kind of irritates and surprises you at the same time.

“Very kind…” he resumes “I'm sure Kalim would surely like it if you gave it to him in person.”

You're looking at his back, his face is hidden from you, yet you suddenly feel watched.

You blink in confusion, unsure of what's really going on between you and him in that room.

“It's not for Kalim.” You say, but you're not entirely sure it was necessary, or perhaps it isn't for the reasons he wants you to believe.

His cutting stops: "Oh no?"

He is smiling. You can swear. Or maybe not?

“It's for you, Jamil.” It doesn't matter if he's faking it or really ignoring your feelings, you know he wants to hear it.

Finally he looks at you, there's a slight smile on his lips, he's amused and maybe deep down there's a veil of poisonous sweetness, but it's not mean.

“What an extremely generous thought, and to think you've gone to such great lengths for someone like me-”

“Jamil.” You stop it. You have enough confidence to do it, because now you know he's acting. You don't know what face he's hiding, but the humble, compliant servant is a mask you're not willing to accept, and he knows it.

A grin rumbles in his chest: "forgive me, but it's the reality of the facts."

For a moment his eyes return to his work, time to fill a bowl with fruit and topping it with ingredients he knows, but now again her attention is completely and patently all yours.

“I did well then.”

“To do what?”

The fruit salad he has prepared is suddenly in front of you, waiting to be taken from his hands. You grab the cup with a wonder you don't know you have.

“Not to give it to him...” he replies to you, while he retrieves the bag that you brought. By unrolling the upper part, he peeks at its contents.

You're not sure what it is, but there's something different than usual in his gaze: maybe it's just a light, or a nuance, or the way his eyebrows fold differently.

“And…this is for me…?” You ask, still unsure what to do with that little treat you're holding.

He looks at you, an amused snort escapes his lips but his voice is as formal as ever: “This is just a small attempt to repay your extreme kindness towards me.”

The way he looks at you is as impenetrable as that small smile he gives you, and you wonder if you're just a little mouse drawn into the snake's coils.

“You're looking for trouble yourself, you know that?” There is laughter hidden in the folds of his voice as he responds to your thoughts.

He is close to you now, you can see up close his cold gray irises set in the feline cut of the eyelids. They have the color of cooled coal, yet heaven only knows how much those eyes burn with forbidden feelings.

“You got lost?” He asks you with an awareness that he doesn't even pretend to hide.

“No…” you murmur, but as you do he moves closer to you again, until his hand brushes your cheek.

The kiss he gives you is delicate, but too unconventional to be innocent. His lips remain resting just below your ear, in a barely perceptible, yet prolonged contact.

You never thought snakes could bite so sweetly.

When you can finally see him again there's a not-so-tacit satisfaction in his gaze.

“Can we eat together?” Jamil asks you sliding his slender fingers along your arm, until they gently encircle his wrist. You nod, because you can't give up.

Who knows how the dark asp will poison you. Do you really care, deep down?

Even if he pretends to swipe the way your hands end up squeezing together makes you think that maybe yes, you really are in its dangerous coils, but maybe they don't wrap you around to hurt you.

[rainswept]

hihi @kaeyas-beloved !! this was for the secret santa — i’m so sorry it was so late, i had some complications with my health that made it so i was unable to write. i hope you had a great christmas and new years!

blood. childe.

1k words. cw. mentions of drowning/death/violence (in the past)

“One day, I’ll take you to my homeland for winter.”

Nestled in the stomach of the gray patterned bowl Childe holds is a steaming soup, tentacles and crab legs still simmering in a blood red sea.

Beneath the chilling blanket of the abyss he lies, frail and wounded and young. He scrambles to find himself — he hides his throat and bares his teeth — he gains a scar and is sure he’s killed hundreds. With desperation, he lashes out at anything that moves, whether he can see it or not. Sometimes he lands a hit. Sometimes he gets hurt. Sometimes he stumbles in the dark and awaits a blow that never comes.

Garnish and pools of oil bubble up beside it like a delectable hot spring, savory delights wrapped up in little pockets of half-translucent dew.

He squeezes his eyes shut tight. While he can still breathe, blood fills the gaps in remaining senses he has — a metallic taste on his tongue and a sticky thing under his fingernails.

“It snows a lot more than this.”

He cannot feel nor hear a way up, so he goes down.

The darkness settles around him until he no longer has any use for his eyes, and it seeps into mouth and drips down his throat until he can no longer draw breath. Drowning. The sting of his cuts gnaws at his skin and he wraps his fingers tight around the bleeding. Drowning. Drowning. Still drowning.

He sits down on the couch beside you, wood in the fireplace crackling and snapping as he settles. His fingers are bare, free of the gloves that separate him and the blood he spills, and they slip out from beneath the bowl so carefully it barely makes a noise as it settles down onto the wooden coffee table.

He brandishes his sword, spear, claymore, bow. He swings and shoots with a feral vengeance, and he blocks with desperation to protect. One day, he is afraid it will not be enough.

Teucer, Tonia, Anthon — his siblings flash before his eyes. Then you. You, your sweet words and your comforting embrace and your gentle touch as you wash the blood away from his skin. It is washed down the pristine porcelain sink without a second thought, and if a wound is revealed in the process, you bandage it wordlessly. What did he do to deserve that? This he often wonders, though he has never dared to voice it.

Your fingers wrap around his torso, and you place your head against the crook of his neck. His eyelids grow heavy.

People may look at Childe and think, above all else, he is a fighter.

He wouldn’t say they are wrong.

Like melting chocolate wedged between a graham cracker and molten-hot marshmallow — he did always like to make those — he sinks down into your embrace as if it’s the last time he will ever get the chance to.

To be an older sibling, a Harbinger, a lover, is to be a protector. And to protect, most often, you must fight.

He is a fighter — he always has been — that doesn’t change when he dons the codename Childe, or the title Tartaglia, and especially not when he thinks of his family calling out the name “Ajax”. Especially not.

He casts a nostalgic look out of the window. It glitters like forlorn stars scattered about the night sky, hazy memories and long-forgotten childhood dreams that are now realized to never have had a chance to come true.

Drowning.

You pick at your bowl, and he thinks you are humoring him. “Does it, now?”

He laughs. It’s a warm sound, not like the one he makes before a fight, no. It’s genuine, scattered stars in every crack in his voice like that of the ever-burning fireplace in the living room.

“Of course.”

Drowning.

Childe’s grip on his spoon tightens, and his eyes flick to the blooming bouquet, a proud centerpiece on the wooden dining table. He reaches out to adjust one of them that had risen out of the water.

...

Beneath the quelled sky when it’s cold is a myriad of memories, old and new, past, present, and future tangled into a flowering embrace despite the unchanging blanket of snow.

Seeds of hope of all kinds will bud or die, sprout up through the ice as it melts, prove that they are strong. They are steadfast, loyal, and resilient. Like him. Like the Tsaritsa, he hopes. Like his siblings. Like you.

Over and over again, the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger had coaxed blood to spill by his hand. He had stolen it from warm bodies and watched as they grew cold.

He holds you closer as he takes a sip of the soup. Here, he is reminded everything he stands for — why he is still here in the first place. The warmth of your hand, the forgiveness of your touch, the light in his siblings eyes that he is making sure does not get stolen from them like it did his.

Blood, pouring from a wound until eyes grow dim and hazy; blood, the family he had and would spill his to protect; blood, carefully encapsulated in safe veins, blushing cheeks, flushed skin. Love. The warmth in his home, the hull of the ship, the blade of the knife, the seed of the flower. The reason why he survived the abyss, and the reason why he survives now. You cleaning his wounds and him making sure you don’t suffer any.

Love is a tender night like this, sipping on specialty soups, curled up in front of a fireplace as a storm rages outside; limbs tangled beneath soft blankets, fleeting kisses filled with affection. He sinks into your embrace and wraps his arms around you, head resting on your shoulder as you run your fingers through his hair.

Childe was always devoted to his life, his family, you. Everything he did was to protect something he held dear.

He didn’t regret a thing, for that meant you were safe, and he was too. Here, right now, taking breaths of fresh air one by one. Breathing. For once in his life, his head was above the water, and he wasn’t fighting with every ounce of energy to stay there.

i’m sorry this is quite short, but i hope you liked it regardless! i’m not entirely sure how to write for childe, but i’ve wanted to for a while so i figured this was a good time to seize the opportunity.

[sailorsally]

Oh come on. Misha didn't get that eyelid surgery to "see better". He could see just fine. He got the surgery because his eyes were saggy and he's a vain recently-divorced middle-aged actor. If people online start talking about how his teeth look gross and fucked up with all those old metal fillings he'll probably get them fixed too. Just like he doesn't work out like a maniac "for his health." He works out as much as he does because he was briefly chubby as a kid and is self-conscious about becoming fat as an adult (Jensen's "like an angel plushie" comment at that first con after lockdown obviously hit a nerve.) No hate. But come on. It's vanity. He lost a whole tooth last year and quickly got it replaced. Not because he "needed" to, but because it was noticeable and fucked up looking to be missing a tooth. He uses tanning beds even though they are super bad for your health. Vanity. He's maybe not as vain as Jensen or Jared, but he's still very aware of his looks.

Why are you so bitter lmao 🤣 Vanity is definitely a part of his profession and sadly the world is built in that way that unless you are hot you won't get much of work as an actor. However, I still believe the eyelid surgery was very much about seeing better because my mother also has sagging skin on eyes much like Misha and is looking to schedule an appointment. As for exercise, Misha was always working out, even before the Jensen comments, I think y'all are giving Jensen too much of a credit. People ARE supposed to take care of their bodies, you are making it sound like it's an evil thing. However, if he was exercising just for vainity reasons he wouldn't have worn out both of his hips! He has said it before that exercise keeps him grounded and helps with anxiety so yes, I believe he did start training harder after divorce because he needed it, mentally as well as physically, there is no shame in that.

If Misha was as vain as you insist he is, he wouldn't post a selfie where you could see his old fillings in the first place! Or he wouldn't post photos of him where his hair is graying, or photos of him where his eyes are barely visible because of so many wrinkles! As for missing a tooth, it's customary to replace the missing tooth, even if you aren't a fucking Hollywood actor!

As for going to a tanning salon, it's his choice what he does with his body but I think evening out his jogging tan is by no means the peak of vanity.

I think I have covered every point in your ask. I guess calling a dude who has been wearing the same $20 shirt for 5 consecutive years and has admitted to getting a pedicure for the first time only last year vain really hit a nerve with me.