#DEEZ NUTS

[ishovedawholebagofjellybeans]

d

[silkythewriter]

Vox and alastor with an undeserving to be in hell reader!

Warnings!:non!

Fandom!: Hazbin hotel!

Author note!;I THINK TUMBLER ACTUALLY HATES ME (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)(｡•́︿•̀｡)it keeps not letting me edit my drafts, it’s happened like 3 times already this week alone!,…BUT ANYWAY I LOVE THIS IDEA I REALLY HOPE YOY ENJOY!!!!♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Summary!: alastor and Vox x reader WHOs I. Hell for a minor sin/crime

❤️Written by silkythewriter do not steal or repost any other platform please! <3❤️

ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ

“Each time I find myself

Flat on my face

I pick myself up and get back in the race!”

ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ

!📺✨Vox✨📺!

When you first admitted what you did that counted as a “sin” he was flabbergasted! He thought they must’ve made a mistake. All be it one that was in favor since he got to be damned with you. But still!

Out of every monster known to man kind one who’ve committed acts that are despicable. You, one who can barely hurt a damn fly get sent with them?

At first he thought you were genuinely just joking. And he actually laughed! Like audible chuckled before waiting for the actual reason, which never came, and he soon realized you were being serious!

He always questioned why you use to refuse to kill, or at least scare people into respect. But then you explained how you refused to be like the rest of the sinners.

He utterly dumb founded you made it this far without spilling a bit of blood, at least for survival!

He becomes more overprotective as if he wasn’t before, good luck with that!

Cause now he knows your rules, he knows you won’t budge. Nothing would get you to change your mind. So he made sure to keep eyes on you 24/7, you may be nice, but the other sinners in this damned place definitely aren’t. And he knows that from experience

Would neither confirm or deny he put a small tracker in an item you carry every where.

This man has enemy’s as you’ve seen, demons, overlords, rival company’s, it’s a headache an a half for him. Not that he hates protecting you and your values! No never!, but the nerve of the people who think they even have a chance to lay a hand on you.

Gives you the lastest phone from his series, and yes he will text you and blow up ur phone up if he can see you through cameras around the city.

Even if you put it on silent he wouldn’t put behind himself to over load it and just show up on your phone screen.

Sometimes he’s just so confused how you can be so nice, or at worst passive to those who are poking at you. He thinks your a saint, even if you aren’t, an maybe you have a short temper still the way you hold yourself form blowing up is astonishing!

Sometimes he jokes about how if you were to go to Charlie you would be redeemed in a day. And at night sometimes he thinks about it and it scares him to know there’s a possibility for you to go where he will probably never be able to follow you too

He loves you to the depths and the crooks of hell, and he’ll be damned again if he lets anyone hurt you. He sees you as a small soft light in the red cover world, and he will do anything before anyone can put out that light.

He makes sure to keep a good distance between you and Val, a BIG distance.

He’s always on the edge about people around you, how can’t he? He can’t trust all these “disgusting and repulsive” sinners in hell around you. The thought alone cringes him out and stresses him.

He knows to some degree he isn’t exactly better then them sin wise, but he makes sure to do his best for you while infornt of you, he cares about his image, and wouldn’t be afraid to scare someone into discipline. BUT he will tone it down, just for you ♥(⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)♥

He has you under wraps, from the public eye in this case. As much as he’s one to show off his earnings, he loves you a little to much and knows well people will use you as a advantage. He loves to show off but you something just for him behind close doors for now before he can work something out

NOW if the public were to already know, he show off by showing how untouchable you were, demons knew better to approach you seeing as how fast he is to get rid of those stupid enough to try something.

Overall he respects your morals of not wanting to stoop as low as other sinners. But it dose make him more protective of you, your like a rare gem. There’s only a handful of people like you, and even then the numbers decrees daily, so he dose his most to make sure you safe and happy <3

ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ

!🎙️✨Alastor✨🎙️!

Like Vix he humors it at first! Playing around with it before Laughing with his usual staticky voice as he stared at you with his unnerving smile. You guys quite literally stared at each other for a hot minute waiting for the other to say something.

It took you clearing your throat for him to realize you weren’t just trying to get a chuckle outta him.

And for the first time since you met him you caught a hint of confusion, making you explain that it was genuinely what you did.

He quite literally burst out laughing, you, someone who probably did something everyone did once is in this horrid place stuck with the horrid monsters ever! Just for that single act alone.

He will admit he found it a bit amusing how you refused to kill or lay a hand on anyone. Refusing to stoop to other people’s levels. Now that for him is pure gold of entreatment! He’s seen people like you, say the same exact thing then crumble when backed I to a Corner.

But for the first time, for all the decades he’s been damned here, he’s seen you stick to what you’ve stated. You were very much quite a spectacle!

Now finding new amusement, he decided to protect you, cause someone like you were sure to be a one time experience. Aside from loving you of course

Now with your name being accosted with him alone is a shield in if its self. Barely any one approached you, aside from those playing with their afterlives of course.

If you ever feel a looming shadow or presence it’s most likely one of his shadows. Like Vox he is gonna have his eyes on you almost always

Although he loves you he will play around to get a reaction out of you. All for the fun of it!, he knows you cringe when he talks about his cannibalism tendencies he just loves seeing your cute little face scrunch up!

Even though with all of that he is a gentleman and will make sure no one is to bother you.

He’s quite impressed you made it this far without getting killed, I mean of course you have him but if you arrived to hell and didn’t met him immediately he’d be quite impressed and surprised one you both do meet

He indulges himself in the horrible aspects of hell, with no remorse or shame what so ever either. So although he dose respect your wishes he won’t stop or calm down his tendencies.. （；へ：）but on the bright side he’ll make sure your far away or he goes off to other part of the city and do whatever he wishes. But your likely to see on the news either way… (￣▽￣💧

He dose enjoy the more civil and nice talks he has with you though! He finds it nice to take a break from all the crude talk on the street from other sinners and have a nice conversation!

Great listener let me tell you, he’ll happily sit there as you explain your day away! He honestly enjoys hearing you genuinely happy!, although his a chatter box himself but he enjoys listening to you more then anyone or anything else!

Watches you be nice to the most repulsive, and rude demon like it’s nothing. Even when disrespected you find a way to calm down the situation and nicely at that. Of course the demon doesn’t live long once their out of your sight, but still! He’s pleasantly surprised.

He finds it rather weird that your nice just for the sake of being nice but still it’s definitely a nice refresher from all the horrible people down in hell!

You catch his eye rather quickly with how you stick out from others (in a good way! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ) and his eyes end up on you, you mainly have all his attention almost always if he isn’t off doing something!, your his light just live Vox he’ll make sure you’ll shine bright as ever and won’t go out.

Not everyone can catch it but in some rare moments he’ll be seen just staring at you as you happily talk away to Charlie. And for the smallest second you can see his unnerving smile turn into a soft smirk, eyes only on you and his mind filled with only you. This happens on the regular, it’s just he’s quick to cover up so no one sees!

Overall he loves you, even with some differences between your views he’ll still do his best to make you comfortable. Aside from teasing you here and there! But other then that he’ll protect you, your one of kind. And he loves having things no one else can.

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AHHHH HELLOOOOO OH GORSH I MADE IT JUST IN TIME THIS TOOK SO LOBG TO DO CAUSE I KEPT HAVING TO DELETE AND REWRITE ON A NEW DRAFT AUGHHH I HOPE TUMBLR FIXES THIS BUG, BUT ANYWAY TYSM FOR REQUESTING PLEASE COME AGAIN!!!\(^ヮ^)/’

[deeznuts-anon]

dear @sm-baby

I am truly sorry for cursing you with those foul words I entered into your ask box and the sorrow I feel every day is too immense, therefore I have made this decision. I will allow myself to be sacrificed and burned away, along with this story. Please forgive me and my sins. Even if you were only one of hundreds (I’m not kidding when I say this), each person deserves hundreds times the apology. I am truly sorry and I hope you forgive me before my execution.

nah fuck that lol I’m not sorry

(this is completely satire)

[prettyinpinkink]

someone had to do it

[soapdispensersalesman]

[stevens-pastrami-sandwich]

WHATS UP TUMBLR 🗣️🔥 figured I'd start my blog off w one of my most recent drawings of the silly rat (I mean mouse! 😵‍💫) man funky science dude goofy guy little sckrumkle

[mrdr4fun]

Bro has too much free time

[facts-i-just-made-up]

How big is a atom?

It's hard for human minds to comprehend very large and very small things. It is very hard to consider even how large the Earth is, let alone a larger planet or the Solar System. A Galaxy containing hundreds of billions of such systems is completely out of our ability to think about realistically.

Similarly, very small things such as atoms are beyond our ability to imagine, with things like single cells and even very small animals being unthinkable. As such, we have attributed anatomical and familial metaphors to objects of extreme size, and this is why people inevitably compare galaxies to 'Yo Mama' and atoms are said by many to be as small as 'Yo Dick.'

For more insight, it's best not to try to get a firm grasp on those concepts until one has a firm grasp on "Deez."

[introvertedx10]

[kalina-c]

fail girl alignment chart

[ishovedawholebagofjellybeans]

i think they should all be women

[silkythewriter]

I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

[allhailthefrog]

one time i had a dream where there was a death note arc where the death note notebook got replaced by a death note red solo cup that had "DN" on it in sharpie and light would kill people by drinking from it in the corner of frat parties with mikami and everytime he killed someone theyd make out and the kira police task force wanted to investigate more after the notebook disappeared but no one on the task force could bring themselves to investigate light because 1. what if theyre subconsciously targeting him bc hes gay with mikami that would make them homophobic and 2. no one wanted to ask about the cup bc everyone thought the "DN" on the cup stood for "deez nuts" and no one wanted to get deez nutted at a frat party and be embarrassed.

[bookish-bogwitch]

Six Sentence Solstice

Helloooo! Thank you to everyone who has been tagging me over the past few months. I’ve been around but haven’t felt much like sharing; I usually hate whatever I’m writing until the first draft is done, but I finally have a first draft of Basil Pitch’s Diary to edit, and feel suddenly excited to share.

Next week I am hosting my family for Christmas and will be cosplaying as a Dickens character by roasting a goose. The goose chase (nearest goose farm is 30 miles away) will take a lot of my energy tomorrow, so we're here a day early. Festive solstice, y'all. Here are are six fifteen sentences.

“Why are you being so nice to him?” Had not told Niall about the truce with Snow. Could not tell him about the Mage dropping Snow discarding Snow like a broken appliance. Obviously Snow was better off without him, but Snow didn’t see it that way. I didn’t want to embarrass him.  And I didn’t want to watch Niall cock his head and say Oh, Baz … “I’m not.” “You gave him an answer in Magic Words.” Miss Possibelf had been lecturing on how spells lose potency with disuse and had called on Snow to name an example. Did not think anyone had heard me lean toward him and whisper Deez nuts. “Power move.” “And at lunch the other day,” Niall pressed, “you spelled mustard off his tie.”  Fuck. Had thought Niall had been distracted, like everyone else in the dining hall, by the spectral pixie grandmother reducing our classmate to sparkly tears. I’d been haunted, too, by the image of neglected baby Simon, ignored by his caretakers, slathering himself in condiments.

Broken appliance inspo was my vacuum cleaner, which broke last night after years of faithful service. Maybe I’ll get it fixed, or maybe I’ll just murder it and steal its magic.

Tagging @facewithoutheart @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thewholelemon @monbons

@mooncello @skeedelvee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @ileadacharmedlife

@fatalfangirl @artsyunderstudy @emeryhall @raenestee @ic3que3n

@whogaveyoupermission @stitchy-queerista @blackberrysummerblog @alexalexinii @gekkoinapeartree

@brilla-brilla-estrellita @shrekgogurt @scone-lover @nightimedreamersworld @stardustasincocaine

@martsonmars @onepintobean @agni-ashes @aristocratic-otter @alleycat0306

@fight-surrender @theearlgreymage @thehoneyedhufflepuff @iamamythologicalcreature @youarenevertooold

@technetiumai @roomwithanopenfire @hushed-chorus @theimpossibledemon @comesitintheclover

@goblindad-emoshit @rimeswithpurple @messofthejess @forabeatofadrum @nausikaaa

@johnwgrey @prettygoododds @run-for-chamo-miles @best--dress @arthurkko

[fordpinesthemanyouare]

Ford x Fem!Reader

Math Assistant Pt. 2

Summary: Ford needs a math assistant and you just so happen to have a phd in applied mathematics, you are meeting Ford for an interview.

Warnings: Age gap?

A/N: Im nervy to post this one, but here it is. Dont hate the player…

<3: @potato-painter

—————

Y/n pulled up to the old diner in her beater car, the car that pulled them through a plethora of different colleges. Sitting in the driver seat, approximately 15 minutes earlier than the agreed time, she took in the scenery around her. The enormous red wood trees growing like a wall all around her in every direction, the Oregon wood’s would always be a special place in her journey, especially now that they have led her here. This small town known as Gravity Falls, in search of some type of summer work while not in school. Her car is packed with a few boxes in the back seat, keeping her belongings light as she travels from place to place. She pulled down the visor in the car and flips open the mirror, double checking her makeup isn't out of place for the interview. She genuinely had no idea what to expect, since, well the job listing was seriously vague. The free housing included in the deal certainly pulled her towards the listing, even if it only provided some other small details including large letters stating “All other questions will be answered at interview!”. She needed to have an applied mathematics degree, well, it was an easy enough feat for herself considering the Ph.D under her belt. She felt fairly confident in herself at the very least, she thought. Even if she wasn’t confident about anything else she knew she had her experience to go forth with, and hey telling people you have a Phd in anything usually impresses them.

She waited impatiently in the car until there were only five minutes left, in which she grabbed her purse and jacket and got out of the car. The Oregon sun warmed her skin in the early days of May. “Before the last spring showers” she mumbled to herself lightly as she walked up to the diner, familiar with Oregon’s tendency to tease summer every other day in May. She pushed open the door and cast her gaze across the diner, not that she knew who or what to expect. As the waitress calls out a hello, her gaze met with someone else’s who was also looking towards the entrance. The back lighting of the lazy May sun came shining through the windows, absolutely highlighting his strong features. His silvery hair and glasses met your gaze and she smiled at the handsome man. Older maybe, but still incredibly handsome with a strong jawline and nose. She walked a step towards him, since he was the only person in the room who seemingly was looking for someone, and he hadn't taken his gaze off hers yet.

As she stepped further into the dining area she turned to the waitress, breaking her gaze with the handsome stranger, who was standing behind the counter, “Excuse me, but did you happen to know if there was someone holding an interview here? I might be a few minutes early…” She quickly looked down to the Casio watch on her wrist checking that she was indeed four minutes early.

The stranger from before stood up, he walked over to her after overhearing her question to the waitress. He practically towered over her when he stood before her; she didn’t realize how tall he was sitting down. Extending his hand he said, “Hello, I’m Stanford Pines. I am the one you were to meet for the interview”. She took his hand without a second thought, and introduced herself to him. Her mind quickly noted his grasp on her hand was… different, but quickly moved on from the thought. She gave the waitress a nod before Stanford walked back towards the booth he had previously been sitting at. She took her seat, not without of course awkwardly scoot-jumping into the old booths. Once settled, she was a little surprised at how high the seats were for an older diner, he sat in the seat with ease as if he had been here a lot.

“It's nice to meet you Stanford, I was wondering who I would possibly be meeting. Your listing was incredibly vague.” She said with a light smile. He gave a tight smile in response before starting, “Well, I kept it intentionally vague due to the confidential nature of the work, I’ve recently discovered something that might take some time before I can start openly speaking about it.” As he finished, the same waitress came up to take both orders. She now noticed that one of her eyes was shut closed, but paid no mind to the matter. She ordered a coffee just how she likes it and Ford ordered black coffee. She quickly left and returned with two cups and her pot, filling both cups with the coffee and gesturing to the packs of creamer and sugar on the table. Ford and Y/n thanked her, before she headed back behind the counter.

“I see, that makes sense and I had figured as much”, she agreed, nodding. “I have worked on some case sensitive projects before but nothing to this measure. I was brought in for some consulting on a government funding issue but this seems a lot more interesting than accounting errors.” She grabbed a few packets, and mixed them together in her cup before quickly taking a sip. She really had started to notice just how handsome her interviewer was, she felt the need to find something to do with her hands.

Ford listened to her words, making strong eye contact with her and he had to admit, Stan was right, she really was a “looker”. The moment she had walked in through the doors he had silently hoped she was his interview for the day. However, you were in fact his potential candidate for the position by your asking of Lazy Susan. He snapped back into his mind, needing to maintain professionalism, despite in the corners of his mind Stanley’s words kept fluttering around. He was looking at her as she spoke, his mind began to take in even more features he failed to notice as she walked in through the door. His mind betraying his virtue for professionality as he took in her voice, it sounded tenfold clearer in person rather than their short conversation on the phone.

She had bright beautiful eyes that were deep and alluring, it felt like she had grabbed him and forced him to look deep in her eyes. Along with that, her hair framed her face in just the right angles, showing off her lips and cheekbones perfectly. She had some light freckles on her face and he noticed each one as she continued to speak about some funding errors. He caught himself staring, silently cursing Stanley for putting the thought into his mind, just as she was finishing her words. “So what are some things I can expect from this position?” She decided to ask at the beat of silence after she spoke.

Ford looked down at his coffee cup and grabbed the handle and took a sip before beginning, “I am looking for someone who can work on a plethora of different kinds of equations for the next few months. I expect I would only need assistance over the summer while my family comes to visit. I am trying to balance work and spending time with them this summer. Which is where someone like you would come in, and help keep up with the mounting pile of work while I can move forward with my discoveries and being with my family.” He finished off looking down again at his coffee cup, desperately feeling like he needed the quick pick up. He had been working through the night until he looked at the clock and realized the interview was only an hour away and decided to head there early.

After taking his sip he moved some of the pages of equations he had been working on before she walked in to be in front of her while saying, “Most of these are complex linear equations, along with different types of ruled equations being applied to this side of the page.” Pointing gently to the left side of the page. She reviewed the paper, picking it up and looking over the work he had begun on the page. A moment of silence fell on the table as Ford allowed Y/n to look over the work, not without looking at her some more. Her features pulled him to look as she stared down at the sheet in concentration, her brow slightly furrowed as her eyes raced from left to right. She set the page in front of herself on the table, before reaching into her purse and pulled out a small zipper pencil case. She unzipped it on the table, pulling out a red pen before circling a few things under the printed equation, flipping it towards him. She pointed with the pen several small circles along his own penciled work as she spoke, “Although you were close you made some simple mistakes… I take it you're tired?” As she said it, she looked him in the eyes now much closer than before and had noticed his heavy eyebags. She certainly could tell Stanford knew how to do the equations from his work, however the said work was sloppy, unorganized, and some of it was just the wrong numbers written. Although he looked utterly exhausted, the five o’clock shadow he was sporting that ran down his neck slightly accentuating his Adam's apple and jaw, made him look all the more ruggedly handsome. His strewn hair from running his hands through it so much, definitely didn't help either. She pushed the thoughts away, as he took the sheet from her to raise his eyebrows at some of the markings she made on the sheet.

“I didn’t realize I had so many mistakes…” he drifted off in almost shock, his eyes widening at his simple rudimentary mistakes, but he realized how tired he must have looked if his assistant was already noticing. “Assistant?” He thought to himself, still eyeing the paper, he was already calling her his assistant even though they had barely gotten through the interview.

She chuckled softly a look of understanding in her eyes as they met once again, she started “When I was getting my Ph.D, I did the same thing: stay up all day and all night to work on my research, but I take it your not necessarily getting your Phd are you?”

He smiled softly at that, the memories of his tireless and seemingly endless Phd nights researching and studying popping into his mind, it was not too far off from his current state. Ford set the paper with his work and now her corrections in the middle of the table, he met her gaze, “Ah, not this time around, the project you'd be assisting me with is something that has yet to be discovered. I'm hoping to perfect it and fully come to an understanding of it, however I don't feel entirely comfortable telling you exactly what it is until you've begun your work for me. However, I have several folders ready for you to look through when the time comes to start. That way you'll be caught up to speed when you begin.” She nodded again, understanding, “I get it, sometimes you need to make sure everything's right before shouting to the whole world that you've discovered something. Whatever it is, if this is what the general workload would look like I'd be able to do this with my eyes closed.” She gave him a confident smile, hoping that this really was it, her eyes going over the page in the middle of the table once again to make sure she understood. She had spent years doing these equations for practice, before finally becoming able to pick her choice of final research for her doctorate program.

As she was looking at the equations, they both reached for their respective mugs synchronously. The movement pulled her eyes from the page in the middle and to his large hand grabbing the handle, when she noticed that his hand was not only just large, but had an extra finger as well. Her gaze involuntarily locked onto his hand before she could think of how rude it was to stare, he noticed her noticing. His skin grew a little hot under the gaze on his hands, he could never expect what someone was going to say about the extra fingers, so before she could make a comment about it, he decided to move forward,

“This is what the majority of the work will look like, it will be a lot of recording the answers as well, but I’m sure you're comfortable with that as well given your resume.” Y/n pulled her gaze back up to his eyes and gave him a small apologetic smile as he turned to pick up a different sheet from under his few journals and folders stuffed with papers, her resume. “I was surprised to see that you had graduated only a month ago, with a masters in statistics as well. What brought you to the University of Oregon?” Ford was attempting to keep the interview questions off of his hands, and he did want to know more about her, only because they were to be working together of course.

She smiled at her accomplishment feeling good at the subtle praise and grateful she didn't have to apologize for clearly ogling his hands, “I have been traveling with my education since high school, applying to more colleges as I continue to move around. I usually move to wherever I can get the highest paid scholarship, and this year it happened to be Oregon. Last year I finished my last bachelors in Colorado.”

He nodded in understanding, he was impressed that Stanley was able to find someone with this much education history online. He figured him and not many other people in the world were interested in pursuing education as much as he was. He figured that perhaps this was not the time to bring up the fact he had 12 PhDs, “Well congratulations on your graduation, are you planning to return to school for the fall?”

Y/n smiled and sipped some more coffee, not long after setting the cup down on the table, Lazy Susan was back quickly refilling both of their cups, turning away again to tend to the other patrons.

“Thanks I appreciate it, I haven’t decided yet. I've sent my applications already, back in January to return to continue my masters for another PhD. I cast out a wide net of places to study at, but whoever will accept me is up for chance.” She looked out the window, eyeing ‘ol’ reliable’ in the parking lot. “I usually don’t plan very concretely…” She looked back at Stanford and smiled, “That's how I ended up here from your listing, another thing that drew me to it happened to be the free housing included with the deal. What does this arrangement look like?” She was reaching for more creamer to pour into her second cup of coffee as she spoke.

“We have a small storage closet that we've turned into a small bedroom, you're welcome to stay there during the work period. I also mentioned my family coming to visit, my teenage great niece and nephew. They will mostly bother me, so you might see them in the work area or around the house a lot. My twin brother lives in the household as well, and he’ll be taking care of them primarily. The living arrangement is optional and wouldn't be docked from the pay.” He cringed a little internally at the last statement, he knew that the pay wasn’t… great. He made sure that Stanley included how much it would be in the listing, so he wouldn't have to mention the low wages in person. Hopefully the complimentary housing would be able to make up for the low wages he thought warily.

Y/n sipped her coffee away, draining the second cup dangerously low again she set the cup down and nodded. She thought for a moment looking into her coffee cup, thinking about the options she had infront of her. She could take this opportunity, enjoy the nature of this small town for the summer and get out of the classroom, or she could drive her car to a new destination and see what awaits there. Y/n looked back up at Stanford and nodded again with a smile, “That seems that that would work just fine, did you happen to have space to park a car there for a while too?” She’d grown accustomed to having to search for parking, but if she was going to stay long term, she'd like to know the peace of not having to worry about broken windows in the morning. Ford nodded and said they had a parking lot, which was strange to her. A parking lot in front of a house seemed odd, but she brushed off the thought figuring she would see it eventually.

The two finished several more cups of coffee over discussing more insights of the job and her education, Lazy Susan having to brew more coffee than she had anticipated. Ford had asked when she had finished cup number four, feeling full of caffeine, “When would you be available to start?”.

Her gaze flicked out the window once again at her car full of her belongings, she had planned to either camp in the woods for the night or find a motel in town. She didn’t know anything about starting dates before she had arrived, so prepared to start very soon after. She turned her attention back to the handsome man in front of her, it suddenly dawning in the back of her mind that she would now be living with the man seated across from her.

“I could start today actually.”

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[teacookiesandpeace]