#DEATH to the ncaa

[racingtoaredlight]

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!

That's right, the University of Vermont Catamounts are your 2024 NCAA Men's Soccer National Champions after defeating the Marshall Thundering Herd in an overtime thriller that ended on a big cat-aided Golden Goal (pictured). Questions are swirling this morning as to whether or not UVM should've been allowed to roster one of North America's most lethal apex predators, but any rule changes that ultimately come to pass won't affect how this year's championship was decided. It's settled law, baby. FLAGS FLY FOREVER!

[wbb-lover]

Paige be knowing damn well she fouled someone and still go argue with the ref

[sregnarkroywen]

Credits: x

[lobaznyuk]

out: catholics

in: dairy farmers of nimrod, minnesota @frontpike

[someonelookingpretty]

No, actually, I’ve decided I hate this now. Because I’ve mentally planned out the entire deck and now I will lie awake for eternity thinking of the way an actual aftg tarot deck would feel in my hands.

🌿 March Patreon print 🌿

My patreons this month voted for tarot cards so here’s a little lovers print. To get the March free print you can join my Patreon at either the Pomegrante and saffron tier (UK SHIPPING) or almond and plumb (INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING)

This print is available as an a4 and will be sent out around the 1st April. This is a Patreon exclusive and will not be published on the shop

(Though keep your eyes open for potential tarot card bunds!)

[exyrpf]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[imaginespazzi]

Part 2: If Only You'd Been Here

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you (but ain't nobody love you like I do)

(In which a sadistic writer tortures her beloved ship a fair amount and maybe her readers too)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and maybe Fluff if you squint

Words: 6.5K (someone please be proud that it is in fact shorter 🙈)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good morning my lovelies <3 Just a couple of things I changed that you should know before you read. If you follow WCBB, you know UCLA didn't win the Pac-12 tournament in 2023 but in this universe they did. You also probably know they lost in the NCAA tournament last year to SC in the Greenville region but in this universe, for plot purposes, they're gonna be in the Seattle region. I kept their seeding and who they were playing vague because it was gonna get too complicated to figure out. Also if you saw my list of part titles a while ago, no you didn't lol. As always, feel free to know what you liked, what you didn't, and anything you'd like to see in future parts. And as you're reading, let's just remember y'all love me and everything I do is for the plot. Happy reading and have a wonderful week lovelies!

December 2022

The distinctly “car” smell of her car is starting to make Paige more than a little nauseous. Going by the way Drew is pouting in the passenger seat, he’s also clearly over it. They’ve been driving in circles for what feels like hours. At first, still enamoured with being allowed to sit in the front, her little brother had gone along with her ridiculousness. Now, as they approach maybe the 12th or so lap around the neighbourhood, he seems less than thrilled. 

“Alright let me out and you keep driving,” Drew says, fiddling agitatedly with his seatbelt, “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Well hold it in,” Paige retorts unhelpfully as they re-round the block. She keeps her eyes focused on the road, ignoring the glare her brother sends her away. He takes in a dramatic breath and leans back onto his seat. She grips the steering wheel tighter as they pass the house again, still not brave enough to pull into the driveaway of a place she’d once considered just as much a home as her own. 

Drew lets out another groan, “I shoulda just stayed home.”

“Well you didn’t-” Paige’s reply is cut off by the sound of a phone call reverberating around the car. The CallerID reads “Azzi (DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE)”, a name the younger girl had plugged in herself with a warning look the day Paige had left LA. Chewing whatever dry skin is still left on her bitten-to-death lips, Paige clicks accept on the call. 

“What number lap is this?” comes Azzi’s exasperated voice and Paige can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face. 

“Oh you know my car’s feeling the need to exercise today,” Paige hums back, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than she had just a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes, she’s not sure how she managed to go a year with this constant heavy weight pressing down on her ribs, and no Azzi to slowly ease her out from under it. 

“Azziiiiii,” Drew whines dramatically, “please come save me. I’m gonna die in this car.”

Affronted, Paige splutters, “nobody forced you to come.”

“You begged me to come,” her young brother quips back and it elicits a laugh from the girl on the other end of the line. 

“I did-”

“Paige,” Azzi cuts her off, “just come inside okay? You’re wasting gas for nothing.”

“I- it’s just-,” Paige’s hands tighten even more around the wheel, as she stops on the sidewalk, switching on her turn signal, but still not entering the driveway. She leans her head against the wheel, overwhelmed by emotions she can’t quite name. Drew places a comforting hand on her back and she sends him a reassuring smile, trying to shield her younger brother from the havoc in her brain. 

“Hey,” Azzi’s voice floats through the fog, “it’s just me okay? Me and you and us. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

It’s like a child being soothed with their favourite binkie, that’s what Azzi’s promise feels like to Paige. She finally turns into the driveaway, and both Drew and Azzi cheer in tandem. The knot in her chest loosens just a little bit at that because the large crowds that scream for her make her feel adored, but this, her own personal cheer squad for her littlest of achievements, well it makes her feel loved. 

“Freedom,” Drew yells as he practically flings himself out of Paige’s barely parked car. She rolls her eyes fondly at her mini me as he dramatically pretends to kiss the ground. It’s a small distraction from the memories that are swirling like a tornado in her mind. Minnesota is home, it’ll always be home but this place, this had been her safe haven, something she could hold onto at a time where everything else was slipping out of her hands. And then, like a fool, she’d let go of it. 

The door opens even before they’ve made it halfway to the door and Azzi’s brothers run out into the front yard. Jon pretends to take pictures and José practically falls to his knees as they swarm around the blonde. 

“Paige, Paige, can we get a picture or an autograph please,” they yell teasingly, “please Miss Bueckers we’re your biggest fans.”

“Move over boys,” Tim Fudd’s booming voice hollers, as he swats his children away, “her biggest fan is actually me eh Paige?”

The girl in question nods solemnly, her smile stretching the full length of her face, and both Jon and José let out a groan as their father beams at Paige. And then Katie’s there, not a hint of anything but pure happiness on her face as she wraps the younger girl into a hug. Paige melts into the embrace, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Because all she can think about is the hundreds of calls and texts from Azzi that she’d left unanswered, all she can think of is Azzi's devastated face as she’d told Paige about just how hard she’d tried and that wretched ache of i don’t deserve this i broke your daughters heart wraps itself around Paige’s  heart. 

Over Katie’s shoulder, Paige watches as Azzi finally walks out into the law, her cheeks immediately turning red from the cold. The younger girl winks at Paige with a radiant smile, before giving all her attention to Drew who almost trips as he excitedly launches himself into Azzi, tiny hands wrapping around her waist. Paige watches, still buried in the warmth of Katie’s arms, as Drew animatedly tells Azzi all the stories he possibly can and Azzi nods along emphatically as if she’s being told the most important facts of her life. And Paige takes a snapshot of it to add to her ever growing collection of moments i just knew. 

***

January 2023

“Call her.”

Paige doesn’t bother replying, burying her face further into her tear-soaked pillow. Maybe if she ignores her teammate, Caroline will get the message and go away. The earth-shattering pain that she’d subdued for the last couple of months had finally reared its ugly head. And that too at the worst time possible, when her team needed to be a source of strength and with cameras catching the teardrops falling as she mourned the loss of not being able to play in the epic UConn-Tennessee rivalry. She’d done so well at holding it in, breaking apart only a couple of times, sometimes alone and sometimes with Azzi on the other end of the line. Until tonight, when the bright lights and roaring crowd had reignited the itch to just fucking play ball. 

“Paige,” Caroline says again, “stop being stubborn and call her.”

“She has a game tomorrow, she doesn’t need my dramatic ass worrying her right now,” Paige replies, getting into a sitting position when she realises the other girl isn’t about to just let this go. 

“You’re eventually going to call her. The two of you haven’t gone one day without talking to each other since this summer,” Caroline gives her a look, a hint of a smirk play on her face when it tints Paige’s cheeks pink, “seriously, just call her.”

It’s not that Paige doesn’t want to. She’d scrolled through her contacts and stopped at Azzi’s one too many time’s tonight. And each time, just as her fingers had hovered over the green call button, she’d felt guilt claw at her neck. Since she’d shown up in LA, Azzi had shown up for Paige every step of the way, checking in regularly, listening to Paige vent her anger at the world and whispering words of comfort that only sounded true when they came from Azzi’s mouth. Sometimes, if she tries really hard, Paige can feel the ghost of Azzi’s arms wrapping themselves around her shoulders, just as they had that one night in LA when Azzi had held her, so delicately as if she was made of porcelain, through the worst of her breakdowns. 

“She needs to focus on her game,” Paige says after a moment. 

Caroline sighs, mind wandering to the countless texts on her phone from Azzi begging her to take care of Paige and to let her know when the blonde wasn’t doing okay, “I know but she’d want you to call her if she knew. You need her.”

“And where was I when she needed me?” it’s the word need that triggers it, the quick snap because it’s all Paige has been able to think about lately. 

Without basketball, she’d had far too much time on her hands and she’d ended up going down a spiral of watching Azzi’s games from her freshman year, something she’d religiously avoided doing when they had happened live. At first, it had just been this immense feeling of pride, seeing her best friend be the college basketball phenomenon Paige had always known she would be. She’d shoved away the envy of it was supposed to be us that immersed her seeing the way the Bruins celebrated their new star player, and just let herself be happy in her best friend’s happiness. 

And then something changed around at the beginning of January 2022. It had only lasted a couple of games, but Azzi had hit a wall. Threes were short, cuts were made at the wrong time and she kept on getting lost on defence in a way that was very unlike her. And all Paige could focus on, eyes glued to the screen, was how completely and utterly exhausted Azzi looked during that stretch, despite the fact that she’d just come back from winter break. The smile had vanished off her face, replaced by stress lines Paige wished she could go back in time and erase. 

It wasn’t until she’d binged through all the games, cheering silently as Azzi slowly returned to form, that the realisation had hit Paige. She’d been slapped with the memory of a store decorated brightly for Christmas and a familiar voice calling her name, as she’d purposely walked the other way, pretending she hadn’t heard and the more than deserved i’m done trying text that had followed right after. For a year, perhaps longer, Paige had convinced herself that she was the only one who had lost something, she was the only one who had a right to hurt, to break. And still, she thinks she’d take all of that pain again a thousand times, if it means she could erase the fact that in all of her self-pity, she’d broken Azzi too.

“Where was I when she needed me?” she repeats again to Caroline, as the brunette stares at her in confusion, “the answer to that Carol, is that I was anywhere but with her.”

Caroline’s eyes soften in realisation as she takes a cautious step towards Paige, “oh P don’t do this to yourself.”

“I want to call her,” Paige confesses in a whisper, tears brimming in her eyes, “it’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do all day and maybe- maybe I should have but I’m just- I’ve been so unfair to her.”

“You were hurt Paige.”

“I know- I know that. But so was she. You don’t- god Carol- you don’t even know the things I said to her before she left for LA. And she’s still here,” the first tears fall from her blue eyes, and then the next and the next until there’s a steady waterfall streaming down her face, “you know I almost didn’t let her in when she first came over this summer?”

Caroline doesn’t say anything, choosing instead to come sit next to Paige and wrap her arms around the point guard. 

“I didn’t answer her calls or her texts for a year and still, still she’s picked up every call, replied to every text I’ve sent her since summer. I know- I know I need her and she’s going to be there of course she is. But when she needed me, where was I?” Paige drops her face into her hands, “I just- I don’t deserve her.”

There’s a moment of silence as Caroline rubs Paige’s back and lets the older girl wallow in her guilt. And then she reaches for Paige’s phone on the nightstand, ignoring the little grunt of protest. When the screen lights up, there’s already a notification of new messages from Azzi and Caroline can’t help but smile. 

“I think,” she begins softly, “Azzi’s a smart girl so maybe give that tiny little brain of yours a little bit of rest and let her decide who deserves her,” she hands Paige her phone “let her be there for you. I think maybe she needs that too.”

Caroline gives Paige’s shoulders a little squeeze before heading out the doors, giving the older girl a moment of privacy. Paige sighs, getting herself comfortable against her pillows, and rubbing away her tears, before finally giving in and pressing the facetime call button. 

“Do you want a distraction or do you want to talk about it?” Azzi says as soon as she picks up and Paige can see the concern etched all over her face.

“Or maybe I’m perfectly fine?”

“Ah we’re playing the pretend game tonight. Should have cleared your throat for a second longer maybe Miss Perfectly Fine, your eyes are red as fuck and you sound like a dying cat.” 

“Wow, that was rude. Maybe I’m sick?” 

“With what? The “lies to her best friend” flu?”

“That UCLA education has you making up illnesses now? Damn Az, you’re supposed to get smarter in college.”

“You’re so funny, like so funny,” Azzi huffs sarcastically before they both dissolve into giggles. It’s always just been so easy with them. And Paige’s isn’t a poet, but if she was, she’d write sonnets about the sound of Azzi’s laughter, and the way it makes the corner of her eyes crinkle. 

“I watched the game,” Azzi says after a second, “and I saw you.”

Paige smirks, “so you didn’t actually watch the game, just stared at my gorgeous face the whole time?”

“There’s that comedian streak of yours again.”

“Hey you’re the one who said you were watching me instead of the game. But who could blame you really?”

“I didn’t-” Azzi rolls her eyes, as Paige’s cocky smirk deepens, “stop it.”

“You can admit I’m a pretty girl Az,” she teases, delighted when it makes the younger girl blush. 

“Fuck off, you have enough people telling you you’re a pretty girl.”

“Yeah but it means more coming from you,” she says quietly, biting her lip. It’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to say to your best friend, at least not in the soft, wanting way that Paige says it. Except they both know that the lines in their friendship are far more blurred than they should be, even if they've both done a pretty fantastic job at ignoring that kiss. Paige had learned over Christmas that Azzi was exceptionally good at the pretending part, moving away the moment Paige’s hands lingered a little longer than they should, changing topics if they even got anywhere near addressing the something between them. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did and Paige doesn’t understand how she can so desperately miss something that she never even had in the first place. 

“So distraction then?” Azzi says after a second, changing the subject back to her initial question. 

Paige closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath, “it was just- it was a lot tonight. I didn’t realise I was being that obvious.”

“You weren’t. I just know you a little too well.”

“These are my favourite types of games, you know. The rivalry, the crowd booing my name and getting the chance to quiet them, that’s- that’s the type of game players live for and I just- I miss it Azzi. I miss shooting, I miss defending, I miss just standing on the fucking court sometimes. I miss playing basketball. So. Fucking. Much,” a fresh set of tears leak out of Paige's eyes, as her free hand fists at her bedsheets. 

There’s silence as Paige’s words linger in the air. In a way it’s freeing to be able to say it out loud, to just let herself feel how she feels instead of fighting them. 

“You’re gonna miss it every day until you play again,” Azzi says quietly, her own voice thick with emotions, “and it’s not really gonna get easier until you get it back. But when you finally do, just- just imagine it okay, your first game back. The feeling of the crowd. Dribbling up the court. Making that first shot as everybody loses their minds. Finally just playing the game you love. That’s when that feeling of loss will finally go away.”

Using Azzi’s steady breathing as an anchor to still her erratic heartbeat, Paige lets herself get lost in the picture the younger girl has just painted for her. She lets her mind run to the future that lies ahead of her and if she focuses hard enough she can almost hear the Gampel crowds roaring as she finally returns to the court. 

“It’s kinda really fucking annoying how you always know what to say,” no it isn’t, it’s the only thing that’s keeping Paige going these days. 

“Surviving an ACL injury will do that to a girl,” Azzi says with a pained smile. 

That’s not it Paige thinks, it’s not experience, it’s you and I really wish you were here. But she can’t say that, so she changes the subject instead. 

“Tell me about your game tomorrow.”

They both settle back into their pillows, getting into more comfortable positions. Azzi tells Paige all about her upcoming game and then moves onto another topic, then another and another and another. They’ll wake up tomorrow morning to phones that died and no memory of when they’d fallen asleep. And then they’ll remember who was on the other end of the line, and if that makes them smile a little too hard, well that’s just another thing they’ll pretend didn’t happen. 

***

March 2023

It’s only natural that when Paige finally feels like she can learn to live with just having a little bit of Azzi, that the world would show her just how wrong she could be. She’s been in a much better headspace these days, her knee finally starting to feel like itself again, bit by bit. The guilt of not being able to help her team is still settled into the pits of her stomach but even with that, she’s reached a sort of acceptance. And while she’s still struggling to fight the part of her heart that wants so much more, she’s learning to be content with just having her best friend back.

It’s that little bit of time in between conference tournaments and the NCAA tournament when it feels like the calm before the storm and it’s the first weekend since before the season that the UConn team finally gets to go out and let loose for a bit. They’re riding the height of winning another Big East title and even if it’s a little bittersweet that they did it without her, Paige is beyond the moon happy for her team. 

She turns up the music in her room and changes the lights for the sake of a little ambience, before sitting down at her desk, to call Azzi and do what little of her makeup she knows how to do. Normally she’d get one of the other girls or Kayla to do it, but she’d rather sacrifice a flawless makeup look then miss out on having Azzi tease her about how she still didn’t quite know how to do her eyeliner properly yet. 

The fact that it takes Azzi longer than the third ring to pick up should be Paige’s first warning sign but instead she’s sucking in a deep breath at the sight of her best friend who looks breathtakingly beautiful tonight. Paige’s heart stutters as she takes in Azzi’s face, the light layer of red lipstick (that Paige wants to kiss off), the blush-tinged cheeks (that Paige wants to caress delicately) and the perfectly done mascara on her eyelashes (that Paige wants to feel flutter against her own skin). 

She lets out a low appreciative whistle, “celebrating that Pac-12 championship in style huh?”

“Something like that,” Azzi bites her lip and really that should have been warning sign number two, “was there- was there something you needed?’

“I can’t just call you?” Paige asks, noticing the tension on Azzi’s face, “are you busy?”

“No it’s not-”

“She is actually,” a different voice cuts in aggressively and Azzi immediately gives whoever it is an exasperated look. Paige doesn’t know who it is, but she guesses it’s one of the UCLA players. It’s no secret they aren’t huge fans of her. They’d made that much clear the few times they’d met Paige during September, always regarding her with a wary eyes. It wasn’t their fault really, Paige understood their protectiveness, in fact she appreciated it more than they would ever understand. 

“Chill Angela.” 

“Are you not busy then?” the other voice who Paige assumes is Angela Dugalic says, clearly a little annoyed. And then Azzi’s phone is being shifted away from her and instead it’s Angela’s face that covers Paige’s screen. 

“Oh,” the blonde manages to get out, taken aback by the sudden change, “hi Angela.”

“Hi Paige,” the other girl says, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness. 

“Angela,” there’s a clear warning in Azzi’s voice and Paige already knows, even before the words are let out into the open, that whatever Dugalic is about to say is going to tear her apart. 

“Azzi has a date tonight,” Angela pronounces the last words with a gleeful lilt. 

The world spins and Paige’s head spins with it, as she grips onto her desk for some semblance of stability. She can hear Azzi spluttering in the background as she tries to get her phone back but it’s of no use as the UCLA forward powers on. 

“With a really pretty girl,” Angela smirks at the camera, clearly trying to prove something, “Zoe’s really wonderful. You’d like her, Paige.”

Zoe. Recognition registers in Paige’s brain. She remembers seeing the name flashing on Azzi’s phone a couple of times, accompanied by a photo she never quite caught a glimpse of. But as she tended to do with most phone calls that came during her time with Paige, Azzi had simply just declined the call and texted whoever that she’d call her back later. And so Paige hadn’t really bothered caring about Zoe, chalking her up to being some random friend Azzi had made. But fuck, maybe she should have cared. 

“And Azzi really likes her I think. They’ve been tiptoeing around it for ages you know? But we all knew it was only a matter of time.”

A strangled noise escapes Paige’s throat and she tries her best to disguise it as anything but the cry of despair it is. It feels like there’s a thousand knives digging into her skin, pressing harder and harder until she has no blood left to bleed. 

“They’re gonna make the cu-”

“Give me my phone back Angela,” Azzi’s voice cuts in harshly and Paige hurriedly rushes to contort her features into a smile right before the camera’s back to facing her best friend. 

“So you’re all dressed up for a date then?” Paige manages to get out and the word date sounds like bile on her tongue. 

“Doesn’t she look lovely?” comes Angela’s voice again; the girl seemingly on a mission to break Paige as much as possible, “give her a proper look Az.”

“Angela,” Azzi hisses through gritted teeth. 

“N-no show me the fit,” Paige counters, because that’s what a best friend’s supposed to say right? Show me how fucking perfect you look for a girl that’s not me

Azzi hesitates, swallowing nervously, before she takes a couple of steps back so the camera captures all of her. And Paige wishes she’d never asked to be shown in the first place, hell she wishes she’d never bothered to call tonight. Because she thinks the image of Azzi’s casual light blue jeans and simple green off-the shoulder top will be etched in her mind forever, captioned with the words not for you. 

“You look lovely Azzi,” she whispers quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Zoe won’t be able to keep her fucking hands off of you,” Angela supplies and this time the glare Azzi shoots her is murderous. 

“I think I hear Emily calling your name Angela.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes,” Azzi says pointedly, “yes you do.”

Angela rolls her eyes but doesn’t protest this time. She turns to the phone with a devilish grin, clearly feeling accomplished in being a menace, “nice talking to you Paige.”

She waltzes out, leaving Paige, Azzi and a silence that feels like it could drown them. 

“You could have told me,” the blond says after a second, averting her eyes from the screen, “aren’t dates the kind of thing best friends are supposed to tell each other?”

“Paige-”

“It’s good though- you-uh- you deserve a night out.”

“P-”

“Listen, I uh- I’m going out too so- I- umm- I better get going but-,” Paige takes in a deep breath, “have a- have wonderful time on your date Az.”

She hangs up before Azzi can reply, the concern in the younger girl's eyes becoming too much to bear. For a moment, she stares straight ahead at the wall, just processing. And then she lets herself fall apart. 

***

It’s 1 a.m., Paige is drunk and miserable and so fucking tired; it’s an extremely dangerous combination. Aaliyah and Amari had practically had to carry her to her dorm because she’d been stumbling far too much and everyone was worried she’d eventually fall flat on her face. Personally, Paige thought they just didn’t have enough faith in her. She wasn’t even that drunk, she couldn’t be. After all she could still feel that stupid Azzi-sized scar on heart and wasn’t the whole point of being drunk supposed to be not being able to feel? But she has to be drunk because sober her would know better than to do what she does next, would know better than to call Azzi when she has no control over herself. 

“Paige? Is everything okay? Are you okay,” Azzi’s voice is filled with concern when she answers.

“Azziiiii,” Paige slurs, “areyoustillwithyourdate?”

“What?”

“Are. you. still. with. your. date?” Paige pronounces each word slowly. 

“I- yeah. She’s in a different room. Paige, are you okay?” 

“Interesting,” the blonde remarks quietly, “you never picked up her calls when you were with me. And we weren’t even dating.”

She hears Azzi’s breath hitch on the other end, can almost picture her doing that nervous swallow of hers, “ I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You didn’t care if she was okay then? Those times she called you?”

“That’s not- she didn’t call me at 1 a.m.” the younger girl justifies hollowly. 

“Bullshit,” Paige scoffs, “1 a.m. isn’t even that fucking late. Why is it so hard for you to admit you care about me waaaayyyyy more than you care about Zara or whatever?”

“Zoe. You’re drunk Paige, go to bed,” and Paige really should listen to the edge in Azzi’s voice.

“Where did y’all go?” she asks lightly, changing the subject, “c’mon Az, best friends share their date stories right?”

“Baltaire,” Azzi relents, choosing to let this battle go. 

“Oooh that restaurant we passed that one time wow,” Paige coos, “too fucking bad you hate fine dining huh? But she wouldn’t know that now would she? Because she doesn’t fucking know you.”

“Paige please,” Azzi breathes out quietly in a pained voice.

“But you know who does know you? Me. And I would have never taken you to some boring old fancy ass piece of shit restaurant like that.”

“Don’t-”

“I would have taken you on a picnic. Do you remember that park you loved, the one by my air bnb? There, that’s where I would have taken you. And I’d have gotten you supermarket sushi even though I fucking hate that shit but I know, I know, you like it. And flowers. Did she get you flowers? Because I- I would have. Roses and peonies and lilies, a whole fucking bouquet.”

And Paige is crying again, for the second time tonight, one hand gripping at her phone as the other one tries to wipe away the frantically falling teardrops. 

“And we’d stay at that park til the sun goes out and I’d take a polaroid of you in the sunset and I’d keep it forever. I swear Azzi, I’d keep it forever and I’d put it on my wall.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, as if it’s the only word she knows, as if it’s the only word that matters. 

“I’d bring my laptop so that when it finally gets dark, we can watch a movie. You choose Az, whatever you want. And I’d get distracted and start playing with your hair or something and you’ll pretend it’s annoying you but you’d be smiling. Fuck I love your smile.”

“You can’t- you can’t just say these things Paige.”

“Why not? It’s the truth right- why can’t I say the truth?,” Paige says petulantly, “but hush okay I’m not- I’m not finished yet. And then, then we’d just lie under the stars and it'd just be you, me and the sky. Perfect.” 

Azzi lets out a broken sob and Paige hates it, she hates it but she keeps on talking. 

“And then I’d take you home and I’d kiss you,” she whispers the last bit like a confession, “everywhere. Fuck, I’d make it so good for you Az. So good. Everything you wanted, everything you needed, I’d give you all of it. I’d make you come apart on my fingers and then my tongue-”

“Shut up,” Azzi’s voice is suddenly cold and frosty and it feels like all the heat has been sucked out of Paige’s room as well, “shut up, shut up, shut up.”

“Azzi-”

“No,” Azzi all but yells, “you don’t get to say all of that to me.”

“Then who does? Her? Zia or whatever? Who the fuck even is she?” Paige spits out venomously.

“Zoe. Her name is Zoe and you wanna know she is Paige?” 

She should say no. She should apologise for interrupting Azzi’s date and hang up the phone, but no, Paige doesn’t do any of that, “enlighten me why don’t you.”

“She’s the girl who was there,” Azzi says, her voice cracking, “she’s the girl who held me last year when I was going through the worst time of my life. She was there when I couldn’t make a fucking shot and I thought maybe I’d never be good enough. She was there when I let the pressure and the media and all of it get to my head. She was there when I was crying my eyes out over losing the one person I was sure would always stay. She- she’s who you were supposed to be because she was there, and you weren’t.”

Paige isn’t sure if it’s the bitterness behind Azzi’s words or the brokenness of her sobs that is the reason for the ache in her own chest. All she knows is that she still remembers tearing her ACL, and she doesn’t think it hurt as much as this. 

“It was supposed to be you,” Azzi sniffles, “I wanted it to be you. Because I’d have let you- fuck- Paige- I’d have let you take me on a picninc and if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favorite mac and cheese. I- I know you don’t really care about flowers so I’d get you chocolate, the rum-filled ones that you love. And that sunset polaroid would have been a selfie of us, where you’re kissing my cheek and I’d have it framed. I’d pick out a movie but first- first you could watch whatever basketball game was on and you’d get exasperated when I don’t know the team because I’m literally a basketball player,” she lets out a wet laugh, “but I know you secretly like explaining the NBA to me. And then- then I’d have let you take me home and I’d let you take everything. Whatever you wanted, it’d be yours.”

The vivid image of a date that never happened fills every inch of Paige’s brain. She feels like she’s in a bad dream, trying so hard to reach for a happiness that keeps on evading her grasp. 

“But you weren’t there then Paige, and you aren’t here now.” 

“Azzi-” Paige chokes out. 

“Go to bed Paige,” the younger girl says, her voice shaky but adamant, ‘Get some sleep. Maybe you’re drunk enough that you won’t remember this when I call you tomorrow.”

“Right. So we’re gonna pretend this never happened. Again. We’ll just keep on pretending forever I guess,” Paige retorts bitterly. 

“Yes, we will. Because if I stop pretending, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive.”

***

The buzzer rings around Climate Pledge Arena as the UCLA women’s basketball team loses in the Elite 8 on a last second buzzer beater. Azzi’s face contorts into one of sheer disappointment, and in the stands, Paige feels her own heart drop. She’s not one to root for a team outside of her own and god knows what would happen if Nika found out that she’d been screaming her head off each time the Bruins, or at least one specific Bruin, scored, but for Azzi, well, there’s not many of her own rules that Paige follows when it comes to her best friend. 

It had taken a fair amount of convincing on Paige’s part to even be able to come to this game. Everyone had wanted to leave immediately after the Sweet 16 loss but Paige had insisted they needed to stay in Seattle, do something to get the team’s mind off of the terrible end to their season. And that wasn’t a complete lie because even if she hadn’t been able to help when they needed it on the court, she could try and help boost morale. But she knew her teammates weren’t fooled. They knew the schedule just as well as she did and they knew exactly what or better yet, who she wanted to stay for. 

On the court, Paige can tell Azzi’s fighting back tears. The brunette had given it her all, scoring an efficient 34 points and really the game could have gone any way. That last minute heave from the opposing team really probably shouldn’t have gone in, but at the end of the day the NCAA tournament was a lot about skill but also a little about luck. But Paige knows, Azzi isn’t thinking about any of that, too busy finding a way to blame herself even though she’d had a near perfect night. They were just too similar sometimes. 

Azzi’s eyes flicker through the stands, clearly looking for a familiar face. Paige resists the urge to run on to the court and pull the younger girl into her arms and soothe away the defeated look in her eyes, if only for the fact that Azzi doesn’t actually even know she’d figured out a way to stay back for this game. Despite being in the same city, they hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time together and while Paige’s teammates had tried to be of some help, Azzi’s teammates had seemed determined to pull her away as much as possible. All of that on top of the fact that they’re still playing that stupid game of pretend had left Paige wanting for just one moment alone for the two of them. 

As soon as the UCLA team starts heading back to their locker room, and the crowd starts leaving, Paige scurries towards where she knows Azzi will be. Their assigned locker room isn’t that far from where UConn’s had been and Paige gets there in almost record time, her mind firmly planted on being there for Azzi. She’d missed so many opportunities, but this time, this time she’d be there. 

Azzi’s leaning against the wall, her eyes closed and Paige has to take in a breath at the sight of her. Sweat sheens against her tan skin and her gameday braids are falling apart just a little but still, she’s perfect. Before Paige can take a step towards her, there’s another girl, all dark hair and long legs, brushing past her, rushing to get to Azzi’s side. It’s like the world has stopped and yet is spinning too fast all at the same time, as Paige watches this girl, Zoe, pull Azzi, Paige’s Azzi, into her arms. 

After the night of the date (and everything else they’re ignoring), Paige hadn’t bothered to bring it up and Azzi had never said anything about it again. Naively, the blonde had thought that maybe that meant nothing much had transpired after the date, silently patting herself on the back for possibly even having had a hand in that. Except, the way Zoe holds Azzi isn’t fucking platonic and the way Azzi relaxes in Zoe’s arms, isn’t fucking friendly. 

“I”ve got you Az,” Zoe whispers into Azzi’s hair and Paige wants to die. She should look away, she should walk away but her feet seem to be glued to the ground. And she remembers the way Azzi’s eyes were searching the crowd and oh- she’d been looking for- Paige can’t even let herself complete the thought because she’s sure she’ll burst into flames the second she does. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Azzi says quietly to Zoe. To Zoe, and not Paige. If she could feel anything beyond the dagger twisting in her heart, maybe Paige would hear the way there’s still a tinge of disappointment in Azzi’s voice, as if she’s wishing it was someone else. 

It takes Zoe pressing a kiss into Azzi’s forehead, eliciting a sigh from the brunette for Paige to finally tear her eyes away. Her feet finally move and then she’s running faster than she has in a long time, ignoring the way it causes her muscle to ache. She can’t tell if her rapid blinking is to usher away the tears or to try and prevent the memory of Azzi with some other girl from welding itself into her eyelids. It blurs her vision and in the speed of things, she can barely tell where she’s going. Paige runs chest-first into a wall, bruising her elbow. Her phone slips out of her hands, falling to the ground with a loud thud, the screen protector cracking into pieces. 

And when Paige looks at the mess of her phone on the floor, she thinks it couldn’t possibly have cracked harder than this silly little stupid heart of hers.

[ex-frat-man]

This is the story of a Philadelphian golden boy, Hobart Amory Hare "Hobey" Baker (January 15, 1892 – December 21, 1918).

When just a youth, his family sent him north, t to be educated -- landing at Princeton University after prepping at St. Paul's. While he became a middling student, he fell in love with sports. Eventually, he came to be seen as an American golden boy. A superb athlete; a Greek god among men; handsome beyond belief; a war hero; and -- maybe -- a gay man.

A formal studio portrait of Hobey Baker.

Hobey and his hockey squad at Princeton University.

Hobey at Princeton University.

Hobey was a "double threat" at Princeton, playing both Hockey and Football. Indeed, he is one of the few collegiate athletes inducted into 2 sports halls of fame -- hockey and football.

Hobey after enlisting in the Army Air Corps during World War I

[mydaddywiki]

Mike Leach

Height: 6'2" (1.88 m) Physique: Average Build

Michael Charles Leach (March 9, 1961 – December 12, 2022; aged 61) was an American college football coach who primarily coached at the NCAA Division I FBS level. He was a two-time national coach of the year, three-time conference coach of the year and the mastermind behind the NCAA record-setting air raid offense. He was the head coach at Texas Tech University from 2000 to 2009, where he became the winningest coach in school history. After Texas Tech, he coached at Washington State University from 2012 to 2019, where he recorded the third-most wins of any coach in school history. He then coached at Mississippi State University from 2020 until his death in 2022.

Funny how I’ve heard this guy name from watching college football shows, but never looked him up until he was hired by Mississippi State. He looks like the kind of man I could spend hours with fucking.

Born in Susanville, CA, Leach was raised in Cody, Wyoming, Leach graduated from Cody High School in 1979. After graduating with honors from Brigham Young University (BYU) in 1983, Leach earned a master’s degree from the U.S. Sports Academy and his Juris Doctor from Pepperdine University, where he graduated in the top one-third of his class. Leach began his coaching career as an assistant at Cal Poly in 1987. After a few more stops as an assistant coach, Leach was hired at Texas Tech from 2000 to 2009 and Washington State from 2012 to 2019 before spending two season at Mississippi State University from 2020 until his death in 2022.

Leach died Monday night after complications related to a heart condition. He was married (aren't they all?), survived by his wife, Sharon and four children, along with three grandchildren. Nicknamed the "Pirate," Leach had an affinity for pirates and even had a life-sized statue of a singing pirate in his office when he was at Washington State. That's fitting as he could have taken my pirate booty.

Head Coaching Record Overall: 158–107 Bowls: 8–9

Accomplishments and Honors Championships 1 Big 12 South Division (2008) 1 Pac-12 North Division (2018)

Awards AFCA Coach of the Year (2018) George Munger Award (2008) Woody Hayes Trophy (2008) 2× Pac-12 Coach of the Year (2015, 2018) Big 12 Coach of the Year (2008)

[workingforitallthetime]

hello lovely scholar la! do you have any recs for podcasts (or other forms of media, i suppose) that are centered around college hockey and other prospects? i’m looking more for the nitty gritty over the personal fun stuff but whatever you have, ill take it. ty in advance 💛

My weekly rotation is:

the athletic hockey show, prospects edition: a good mix of perspectives between scott wheeler (the truest appreciator of Narrative in the prospect media landscape), corey pronman (more of a traditionalist with a size kink), chris peters (who falls in the middle and is also an ntdp expert) and beloved host max bultman, who is good at making chris and corey fight to the death for our amusement.

called up, the prospects podcast: formerly known as talking hockey sense by chris peters, newly reconstituted with co-host cam robinson of elite prospects. early returns have been positive.

the michigan hockeycast: two nerds who break down every umich game in the exhaustive detail i crave. they also keep tabs on the rest of the big 10 and other teams that have pairwise implications for umich.

college hockey insider: this one is subscription-only, and i’m not always crazy about mike mcmahon’s journalism practices, but it’s the most ncaa-focused of all of the above and v helpful for overall insight into the college hockey system. this one is subscription only but bits and pieces are available free.

others i intermittently listen to:

pucks in deep: i’ll listen when they interview a player i’m interested in, but the hosts are a little too bro-y for my taste. they do cover the entire ncaa though, so if you’re looking for a weekly rundown of every conference this is your spot.

NHL draft class: this one is focused on the current draft class so i don’t pay much attention until the spring. it’s an official nhl production so the interviews are usually boring. i only listen if the topic or guest is of interest.

inside college hockey: mike mcmahon but for free and with a cohost who does not interest me. this one has never grabbed me.

other media: brad schlossman is a good college hockey twitter follow. for recruiting news i follow mark divver, chris heisenberg, and futureblueice.

[coochiequeens]

Brooke Slusser was threatened for speaking the truth

By Anna Slatz October 3, 2024

Tonight’s women’s volleyball match between San Jose State University and Colorado State University will be monitored by droves of armed police after one of the San Jose players received a chilling death threat. The threat is believed to be a direct response to Brooke Slusser’s support for single-sex sports.

On September 24, OutKick reported that Slusser had signed onto a lawsuit against the NCAA for allowing males to compete in women’s collegiate sports. The suit, which is being backed by the Independent Council On Women’s Sports (ICONS), charges that the NCAA knowingly violated the federal statute which guarantees equal opportunity for men and women in college education and in sports.

The lawsuit has been joined by a list of notable female athletes, including 12-time All-American swimmer and OutKick host Riley Gaines, Olympian Reka Gyorgy, and two-time NCAA champion Kylee Alons.

Slusser, the starting setter and co-captain of the San Jose team, was the latest to join the suit, citing fairness and safety. The news was significant as Slusser is a teammate of Blaire Fleming, a trans-identified male previously exposed by Reduxx for attempting to conceal his biological sex from his teammates.

Prior to transferring to San Jose, Fleming was participating in women’s volleyball in South Carolina for Coastal Carolina University. He appears to have fled to California just before the Save Women’s Sports Bill became law in the state, which would have prohibited him from continuing to play on female teams.

Since the Reduxx exclusive, Fleming’s participation in women’s volleyball has been closely monitored and hotly contested. Over the past month, four college teams have forfeited matches against San Jose in apparent protest of Fleming’s presence. Three of these teams are from the Mountain West Conference, and their forfeitures may result in significant penalties.

In joining the lawsuit against the NCAA, Slusser revealed there was significant turmoil within the San Jose team itself regarding Fleming’s inclusion. In a recent interview with OutKick, Slusser said: “It’s crazy to say, but it was an easy decision for me to join because it’s something I truly believe in.”

She added that she had received a tremendous amount of support after joining the suit, and that the reception had been largely positive amongst her colleagues.

Brooke Slusser

“… 99% of it is just love and encouragement,” she said. “So, for me, it shows that I made the right decision to join. This is something that so many people do care about. It’s just that so many people are scared to talk about it.”

But while Slusser is being praised by many for her bravery, her outspoken support of single-sex sports has now also made her a target.

On October 2, a suspected threat against Slusser’s life was received by one of her teammates via Instagram. After being made aware of the threat, Slusser contacted police in Fort Collins, where she is presently staying ahead of tonight’s game against Colorado State University – one which is intended serve as the school’s “annual inclusive excellence game.”

Both San Jose University and Colorado State University were later informed about the threat against Slusser, and cooperated with Fort Collins Police to ensure the safety of the athletes.

Speaking to Reduxx, Slusser says there will be police escorting the athletes to and from their vehicles, locker rooms, and the gym. There will also be metal detectors installed at the entrance points, and armed officers will be present at the game in order to ensure the safety of everyone in attendance.

“After being shown the threat, it was a very uneasy feeling. Just because everything else that I’ve gotten so far – if it’s not in support of me – is just… hate mail, basically. Just people behind their screens saying hateful things that don’t mean anything to me,” Slusser said. “But reading that, it sent chills through me at first, just because that’s someone threatening to physically harm me.”

Though Slusser admits the attention she has received since joining the NCAA lawsuit can be overwhelming, she says she is steadfast in decision and undeterred by the threat.

“It’s not something I am stressing about or anxious about because it’s the right thing to do,” Slusser told Reduxx. “To my core I believe this is the right thing to do, and I think a lot of people agree with that. So it’s just dealing with the ebb and flow of how this situation is going to play out.”

Speaking to Reduxx on the threat received by Slusser, ICONS representative Marshi Smith slammed the NCAA for failing to protect female athletes.

“The NCAA must immediately eliminate male athletes from women’s teams and competitions. Collegiate female athletes are being placed in stressful, contentious, and increasingly threatening situations because both the Mountain West Conference and the NCAA have failed in their duty to protect female athletes from dangers both on and now off the court,” Smith said.

“We strongly condemn the threats against Brooke Slusser and call on the NCAA to take immediate, decisive action to end this madness. The safety and wellbeing of NCAA athletes cannot be compromised for even one more day.”

[foxufortunes]

So like, just to put my previous post about the Raven's undefeated streak, how game wise it's a nonsense and championship wise it makes a little more sense, into context and to expand my thoughts on it. Let's look at lacrosse. NCAA DV1 men's lacrosse has been going for around 50years now. So actually it was formed just a little before exy was invented and if we take Nora's confusing timeline, anywhere from a few years to 10 years before NCAA exy was approved. So, they're about the same age actually.

In that time there have been 14 teams who didn't lose a single match during a season, the record being 18 teams in a season (this makes the lacrosse championships closer to the exy fall season in scale). These notably, all came in as either #1 or #2 seeds. And of these teams only 2 have ever managed consecutive undefeated seasons. These are also the two teams with the most championships (Syracuse with 10 and Johns Hopkins with 9). Syracuse has the highest win percentage of 0.691 while John Hopkins is 4th on that list with 0.651. And the most championships any team has won in a row is 3.

With pro lacrosse, the longest undefeated winning streak is 22 games, and the most titles won by one team is 6 and the highest win percentage is 0.603.

Now, if we look at the Ravens. To be generous we'll only count the five years the Foxes have been up and running, when college exy is fully funded and exy players are some of the highest payed athletes in the world and their stadiums are some of the biggest in the world, and exy is an Olympic sport. And to match up a bit better with the lacrosse size, we'll only count the fall season and assume the distract the Ravens transferred from is roughly the same size and the SE District. With those perimeters that is an undefeated streak of 75 games, 5 championships and a win percentage of 1. (And overall, if we're generous and ignore the finer details of Nora's time line, and say NCAA exy has been in full swing for let's say 15 years and still restrict it to 15 matches for the fall season, that's still a conservative estimate of 15 titles in a row and a 225 game winning streak).

The idea that even this far in the two biggest competitors with massive, well funded teams, and (if I remember Nora's extra content correctly) who got in on the ground floor just a little after college exy was created (wasn't the first ever college exy game between EA and one of the big 3? I'm not looking at the EC sheet right now, forgive me but the timeline on exy is shaky anyway), have never won even a single game by a single point or in shoot outs, is utterly ridiculous. Sure, I could by they're undefeated as champions, but never a single game lost ever is ridiculous. And counter intuitive to the spread of your game. Not only are fans not interested in a sport where they know the outcome (in both well funded and less popular sports, this usually leads to fans either turning off or paying attention to lower leagues) but especially in small unpopular sports, there's a sense that you need to spread the talent around to make the sport interesting so people will watch it. For a sport just starting out like exy was back in the day, the idea that one team will always come out on top is a death sentence. Like, even the best teams in the world sometimes play teams they're supposed to beat easily and take them too lightly and lose (actually this is stupidly common and probably the sort of thing the Foxes would face all the time, and partly how some bottom of the league teams have done what the Foxes have done and won the entire seasons yes, looking at you Leicester Foxes winning at 5000-1 that one season.) and even if we like to pretend it's not a part of sport, bad days do actually happen and sometimes your team just plays a nightmare game or the other team just pops off and is at 110% and there is just nothing you can do.

[otdiaftg]

It'd been almost seven months since the Foxes and Ravens last faced each other on the court, and it didn't take the Ravens long to realize they are facing an entirely different team.

Last fall the Foxes wrote the game off as a sure loss before they even stepped on the court. They'd played the Ravens because they had to but they looked past it to the hope of spring championships. Tonight, buoyed by determination and half-drunk on desperation, the Foxes have the strongest start they've had all year. The Foxes are fierce, but the Ravens are angry. Neil can feel it like poison on the court, a bad vibe that sets every survival instinct hissing. The laughingstock of the NCAA should not have made it this far or cost them this much. They'd lost Jean, suffered a thorough internal investigation, and put up with Riko's violent grief in the wake of his father's death. Their fans' attack on Palmetto State and Kevin's veiled accusations had brought a lot of bad press down on them. There are rumors Edgar Allan wants to close the Nest and reintegrate the team with the rest of campus for their own psychological safety. Now Kevin shows up on their court with a sneer and a new tattoo, and the Foxes rush them like they have no doubts they'll win. The Foxes aren't the same team, but neither are the Ravens. They hadn't taken the Foxes seriously last fall. Now they have to, and they don't pull any punches.

Day: Friday, April 26th / 27th* Time: 8:05 PM EST

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

[wolf-saint]

hi you said you like asks so

who's your fave aftg character and why?

Hands down,,, I will stan Kevin Day till the end of time. He's the narrative core of the AFTG universe for me. It's his choices that drive this series! Seeing Neil's potential in Millport (even pre-knowing the mafia reveal), giving both Andrew and Jean promises to live/hope, choosing to re-learn to play and going to the foxes,,, He cares about people around him,, and he can come off as narrow-minded and insensitive in Neil's narrative but when you see his actions and re-consider what he says.. he's such a layered character ;-;

I can't stop thinking about how fractured Kevin must feel. Watching billboards and TV interviews…There's a version of him that exists; that is not him. It's a lie. His gothic double, his forced twin, a changeling, a mask. And he has to just endure that? Accept that there is a version of him who talks about a loving relationship with Riko, made up stories about training and holidays, pretending to be free... Accept how he is seen as the brightest star, the jealousy of every eye... But in reality, he's a snuffed flame. Barely lit. He's a caged bird :(

His struggles and the problems he faces aren't always acknowledged by other characters (anxiety, cult trauma, etc) and that is sad :/

Plus, when it comes to loving Kevin, I appreciate how he embodies the themes/ imagery of the story and characters. The series is called "All for the Game", and I like to question how that title fits so much to Kevin... How he puts everything into Exy.

Exy is his life because pre-Riko's death: he's controlled by the nest/ post-riko's death: he's under ichirou's contract. But it's also,,, more than that. This is his mother's game. It's her legacy. ("The Day Spirit Award is a trophy given to the NCAA team showing best sportsmanship.") And as much as Kevin plays Exy to save himself,,, he also plays for others.

He recognises Exy as a second chance for people. And as much as he yaps to the foxes about how bad they are,,, He wants them to improve for them,,, rather than him// his situation...

There are many thoughts about Kevin Day and I have not finished TSC and I know there will be another book so arghhh I can't even describe all my thoughts but,,, yeah Kevin Day ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) The character of all time for me...

[darkmaga-returns]

WSJ article exposes what we already knew, Joe Biden was damaged goods before he ever entered the White House. Inquiring minds have no questions for KJP? Maybe it's time for term limits. The debt ceiling battle. The Trump distractions mount as he eyes Greenland and the Panama Canal. John Fetterman is the democrat voice of reason. Biden commutes sentences of 37 death row inmates. Luigi's cult grows. As predicted, NCAA first round games all one-sided. Tiger and Charlie almost pull it off and Zig's prognosis for both of them improves. Grace Ziegler is back for her annual interview.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

I'm Saying It Now

My best friend's funeral was on December 15; slightly over 2 months ago. His death was brutally unexpected, and he had a distanced and (perhaps overly) private, if not strained, relationship with his family and with his partner of over 20 years, so it was clear at the services that not much was carefully planned, or crafted to what A would have wanted. Honestly, no one likely knew what he'd want at his funeral; I doubt anyone ever discussed it with him. Or rather, I doubt he ever discussed it with anyone. Not that he lived his life in reckless denial of the realities of mortality; just that he didn't open up to many people about anything, including people he was 'supposed' to be supremely close to, like his parents, or his partner. I know he wasn't discussing it with his kid; too morbid and anxiety-inducing. And he never talked about it with me, either, likely for the same reasons. I'd told him countless times over the decades of our friendship, in not-quite-jesting ways, not to die. 'Don't die.' 'You better not die.' 'Don't fucking die, man.' 'You're not allowed to die.' 'Don't die on me.' 'You can never die.' He usually came back at that with, 'I'm not planning on it,' or, 'I'm trying my best not to,' or, '10-4, boss,' or a couple of times even, 'Jennifer, Jesus Christ, you're so fretty.' So, probably obviously, we never had a bestie chat during a viewing of NCAA tournament basketball that went, 'So in the event of my death, I want to be cremated and my ashes shot into space, and I want you to read this section from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, and if any ex-girlfriends from high school show up, flip them off...'

Anyway, at the services, which were small and short and too religious for A's taste and belief system, and not religious enough for more than half the mourners (his estranged family), the officiant, who didn't know A at all, was full of the vague spiritual platitudes so many people use around death. He said about 1000 empty words and then opened the floor up to people to share about A. One of his aunts got up, sobbing, and said how much she loved A when he was a little boy in choppy, tearful sentences. No one else stood up. Not his father; not his partner; not his son; not his best friend (me). I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up; I couldn't speak, definitely not off the cuff. It was hard and painful to even be there accepting that reality on any level, and I'm not a huge fan of speaking out loud, even privately and about cheerful things, to even my closest connections. But these are pale excuses, and I'm ashamed of myself for not standing up to speak about my best friend, one of the most important people in my life, one of the greatest loves of my life.

So I'm saying it now.

Saying it here, to you folks, who at least sort of know and care about ME, is I'm hoping equal to, if not better than, saying it to a room full of people who pretty clearly didn't know shit about A. I hope someone there other than his aunt, who probably still saw him as an 8 year old, really cared about him. I hope they were just like me; they cared so much they couldn't verbalize it on the spot.

Here's my eulogy for A; the one I wish I stood up to say.

A was my best friend. He still is the best friend I ever made. He's the friendship in my life that's been the most close and consistent and lasted the longest. He helped me through the hardest part of my life, and he helped me every time I struggled with anything hard, no matter how often I asked. And I often asked. He was the only person for a large portion of my life I ever asked for help with anything. And he always helped. He never once complained about it. I have a vivid memory of being so overwhelmed with a calculus problem once, that I called him, desperate and in tears. "I've been working this problem for over an hour, and I can't get it. I can't get this. I'm going to fail the next test. I'm not going to pass the AP test. I'm not going to graduate college because I'll have to take math, and I'll have to do it without YOU, and I'll fail..." I'd filled up the front and most of the back of a sheet of college ruled notebook paper with figures and formulas; erased and tried again, over and over. To say higher math was 'easy' for A would be a gross understatement. He really could do calculus in his head. It was effortless, sometimes seemingly involuntary, like he could somehow divine answers through magic (or that's how I perceived it). I felt for sure I was bothering him, asking for help (again) on something he thought was boringly simple. Maybe disappointing him, because I needed help with something he thought was boringly simple. He said, "You're way out ahead of yourself and freaking out. WHY did you wait an HOUR?! Where are you at?" I told him, reading off lines of calculation, sniffing and gasping back more math-panicked crying. "You messed up line 6. Jennifer. You did 50 or 60 lines of extra work. Just call me when you hit the first wall next time. An HOUR. An HOUR and you made yourself CRY. You are not going to fail the next text. (Correct. I didn't.) You are going to pass the AP exam. (Correct. I did.) Even if you have to take college math, you'll pass. You can do it without me. (I'll never know if he was right that time; I didn't have to take college math; because he got me through AP Calculus alive.)" Higher math wasn't really the hard part of my middle school and high school life, though; it was that I was alone in everything, not just calculus homework. My grandparents had passed away, and I was far away from any connections I'd made as a child, without cell service or internet. At a time when I had no one to count on and no meaningful connection, I met A. He WAS my support system in its entirety for almost a decade. And he never let me feel like a chore. In fact, he usually seemed HAPPY to help me. He's helped me through a lot of other stuff that was way more difficult than advanced mathematics. Today is the hardest day of my life, saying goodbye to him. The most difficult thing I've ever struggled with. I'd rather do calculus problems all day, every day, in perpetuity, than say goodbye to him. I'm aching to call A so he can help me do it. A, I'm going to miss you every day of what's left of my life. And not just because you aren't here to walk me through the hard stuff. The pieces of me that you shaped and salvaged are pretty huge and consequential. I can't do the math that quantifies how much I'm missing now. I can just tell stories. I was always secretly hoping you'd tell me one day that you were getting married and you'd say 'fuck it' to tradition, and ask me to be your best man. The only speech I'd ever be happy to give. I had a sappy literary quote all picked out for the hypothetical toast. But I'm saying it now instead, to close a speech I am devastated to give and never wanted to give. C. S. Lewis, in The Last Battle, the final book of The Chronicles of Narnia, wrote,

"Now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

I always thought that was a great quote for a wedding; a hopeful wish for the beginning of a loving commitment in marriage. But he wrote it as a speculation of the afterlife. I know neither of us ever had a lot of confident or overt faith in an afterlife, but damn I sure hope you're in a happy story now, in which every chapter is better than the one before. I love you. That won't ever change. I hope we meet again some day in a happy chapter.