#tetsuji is the devil fuck that guy

[someonelookingpretty]

No, actually, I’ve decided I hate this now. Because I’ve mentally planned out the entire deck and now I will lie awake for eternity thinking of the way an actual aftg tarot deck would feel in my hands.

🌿 March Patreon print 🌿

My patreons this month voted for tarot cards so here’s a little lovers print. To get the March free print you can join my Patreon at either the Pomegrante and saffron tier (UK SHIPPING) or almond and plumb (INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING)

This print is available as an a4 and will be sent out around the 1st April. This is a Patreon exclusive and will not be published on the shop

(Though keep your eyes open for potential tarot card bunds!)

[aftgficrec]

oooof i neeed long and angsty preferably newer ones like i need to entertain myself for a bit <3 it's okay either incomplete or complete works!

Well, friend, what kind of angst are you looking for?  Heavy angst, mild angst, emotional/physical angst, angst with a happy ending?  This fandom delights in angst!  I think we’ve probably got a bit of everything here for you, even if it isn’t all brand new, including some excellent fics for other pairings than Andreil.  Take your pick! - S

A small selection from previous posts: 

Long angsty Andreil here

Long dark Andreil here

‘Oakland’ and ‘Lifeline’ here (since updated)

‘Birds of a Feather’ (recently updated), ‘Innominate’ (since updated) and ‘Die Free or Die a Failure’ (now complete) here

‘Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die)’ here

‘Stranger To Stay’ (since updated) here

‘Inked Truths’ series here

‘Joseph’ series here

‘not your homeland anymore’ here

‘North Star’ (now complete) here

‘L’Amour parle en fleurs’ here

‘Black As Is The Raven, He’ll Get A Partner’ here

‘I Will Always Choose You’ (now complete) and ‘Comeback’  here

‘Not Damsels, Not Knights’ here

‘Make A Believer Out Of Me’ here

‘Pause and Restart My Heart’ series here

‘The Bones of You’ here

‘Back to the Start’ here

‘Sixteen hours’ (jerejean) here

‘Aurora’  (jerejean)  here  (part 1 of Rhapsody: Exile series - part 2 is also complete, part 3 in progress)

‘The Heart and the Knife’ (Matt/Aaron) here

Purely in order of (currently) longest to shortest:

Deals With Devils by ToadlilyAUs [Rated M, 142394 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Neil is on the run with his mother for three years before his father catches up to them. And after finally being handed off to The Ravens his life is never the same. After three more years of brutal training and abuse at the hands of Riko and Tetsuji, his life is changed yet again on the day Kevin Day runs away to the foxes, leaving him and Jean Moreau behind to suffer the consequences. Six more heinous months after that, in the summer before his long promised debut, he's finally allowed to leave the nest...but he's still anything but free. As the list of friends and allies grows, so too does his list of problems. How much of himself is he willing to give away to keep the people who matter to him safe? And how many lies and secrets can he stack on top of one another before his house of cards comes crumbling down?

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: blood/gore

don't break the glass by cracklingamber [Rated E, 103707 words, complete, 2023]

Part 1 of the glass series

“Who even are you?” Neil blinked at him with those perfect, blue eyes. Andrew became very aware of Neil’s weight at that moment and dropped him. Neil bounced back on the bed and yelped. “I’m the guy who is going to go take a shower and you’re the guy who is going to wait patiently for Kevin to come tend to your needs,” Andrew said. He gestured down to Neil’s blanket covered body. “Whatever this is, is above my pay grade.” [AFTG Crime AU that takes place in Baltimore where the Foxes and Raven's are opposing gangs. Neil escapes the Nest and falls for Andrew, but Riko will do anything to get him back. Kevin and Aaron tumble headlong into a secret relationship and Jeremy Knox fixes a very broken Jean Moreau.]

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: explicit sexual content

NB: fanart by by @/masslowart on instagram

Not Yours To Bleed by Coffeexandxangst [Rated E, 90858 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

The Pros were never in the cards. Not for an ex-medicated alleged psychotic with a dysfunctional family and an Exy career he’d rather not have. But even if it wasn't his first choice, no matter what happens, it can’t possibly be worse than that one fucked up sophomore year when he stood toe to toe with the Yakuza-and won. At least, that’s what Andrew thinks until a familiar face shows up. Another Raven!Neil AU. Or, the one where the boys don’t meet until the Pros.

tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: eating disorders, tw: torture, tw: nightmares

I can feel you under my skin by ConventionalExy (Conventionals) [Rated E, 82619 words, incomplete, last updated April 2023]

Part 5 of the Our body series, part 1 here; part 3 here

Neil's second year brings changes. Things slow down and continue softer than they have ever been in his life, Andrew's at his side and they are working on being able to not be together 24/7, he can play Exy to his heart's content, he has a home, a family, a soulmate. He also has Jack and Sheena getting on his nerves, papers to write, Aaron's trial coming closer with each passing day, paranoid habits to break, ghosts to fight when he closes his eyes at night and real-people things to consider like bank accounts and taxes and so. much. more. He also has Andrew, their roof, their bond, their kisses, their touches and the promise of a future that is theirs, to grow and play and live. But things are never that easy for Neil Josten, are they?

tw: violence, tw: depression, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: suicide attempt,  tw: kidnapping, tw: torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: nightmares

turn out the lights by cielalune [Rated M, 70349 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Part 1 of the dark side of the moon series

"What do you think it means to be alive, Andrew?” “What?” "To be alive. Is it just to eat and breathe? Just survive? Because that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life, Andrew, and it doesn’t feel like enough. But I don’t know how to do more. We’re supposed to find meaning or something, right?” See: stupid fucking questions. Like Andrew hadn’t been wondering the same thing his whole life. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.” A The Last of Us AU of AFTG. Set five years after the breakout of Cordyceps, Andrew is tasked with bringing an enigma of a man across the country, who also may just happen to be the cure for humankind.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: minor character death, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: body horror

The Sun Still Rises by mordax [Rated E, 66087 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Somewhere on the road, Mary Hatford gets pregnant with her second child. When she passes, she leaves behind not only Neil, but his toddler brother. Survival is difficult without also raising a kid. Worn out and desperate, Neil still somehow ends up at Palmetto, only this time, he brings his four-year-old brother with him.

tw: violence, tw: anxiety, tw: panic attacks,  tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, 

NB: find fanart for this fic by @elidanus on Twitter here

I No Longer Feel Things (I Know I Should) by Major_816 [Not Rated, 59095 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2023]

Part 2 of the Paralyzed series, part 1 here 

Neil's back in Palmetto with the Foxes' triumph over the Raven's, time to see how much damage has been done. ~ “Yes.” He didn’t remember the car ride back. Were they back? He was in a car. Yes. He remembered bits. Things scattered, Remembered- Eighty percent. A bullet. Blood splatter and Riko’s expression. Watched until eyes fogged over with death. Did he watch that long? Must have. His mother used to say- He blinked. ~ The long-awaited Scared to Live sequel

tw: abuse, tw: violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: torture, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw:  self harm, tw: ptsd, tw: anxiety attacks, tw: eating disorders

Longing Distance by F_C_B [Not Rated, 57545 words, complete, 2023]

Post-canon short thought experiment. Andrew moves away to join his new team, Neil stays in Palmetto. How will being suddenly separated affect their relationship? Andrew's POV. Not Nora-note/canon accurate and might break your heart if you let it.

tw: depression, tw: major character injury

Broken Symmetries by puddlejumper99 [Rated M, 53648 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2023]

Reasons Neil had Died He cried too much as a baby, and his father made him stop He cried too much as a baby, and his mother tried to muffle the sound, and in her terror she silenced him for good His father wanted to hurt someone, and Neil was nearby The runners came for his mother, and they found him instead His mother hid him in a shack and left him alone as the heat soared They tried to run, and his father caught them They tried to run, and the runners caught them They ran, and they ran, and they ran, and they were still running and it didn’t matter, because his father would not stop, and he picked them off in one world after another until there was nowhere left to hide Reasons Neil had Lived He didn’t know, but there were eight

tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: temporary character death, tw: injuries

No More Fucks To Give by Wrotethis [Rated T, 53269 words, incomplete, last updated March 2023]

Part 1 of No More Fucks Land 

Neil rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. He’d get to play exy, eat regularly, and sleep somewhere with heating- presumably. Not a bad way to spend his last months. And hey, maybe his mother would come back from the dead and kill him herself if he went to Palmetto. Little victories. What if Neil gave up completely on making it through the year when he went to palmetto? What if Neil just did not give a single fuck? Maybe things would turn out better.

tw: violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced eating disorders

If Only I Were Enough by Lostintheuniverseslies [Rated M, 33189 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

After Andrew moves to Colorado to start his professional Exy career, he intends on everything being okay between him and Neil. But when his self-destructive tendencies tell him that he doesn't need Neil Josten in his life, everything goes to shit. Things between them seem unrepairable and he's not so sure he wants to even try. But when Neil gets into a dangerous car wreck, Andrew finds himself back at the junkie's side with a deadline to fix things or walk away forever.

tw: depression, tw: violence

Already Gone by Nina_reads1804 [Rated M, 31856 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Neil was the pervasive lie Andrew had foolishly allowed himself to indulge and been unable to shake. A person who would stay? Fairytale. It wouldn’t last. Forevers didn’t exist for him. With graduation on the horizon, Andrew makes the hard decision to leave Neil before Neil can leave him. But after a year, Andrew starts to wonder if maybe he was wrong. Maybe he can have it all.

tw: depression, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Sometimes I Think the Way We Met Happened Too Fast by andrewiel [Rated E, 25094 words, incomplete, last updated April 2023]

Neil and Andrew break up, but can never stay far apart.

tw: explicit sexual content