#Cuz of the Cigarettes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

plazmafields · 1 month ago

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Kerry opened his eyes just enough to see the room blurred, fuzzy behind a familiar haze he was too tired to place. He yawned, sprawling out on the bed, and slowly realized the abundance of space. While it worked out well that V wasn't a starfish sleeper like him, Kerry still expected to feel the merc somewhere close by.

He groaned as his eyes opened fully and he let his head fall to the left. He didn't see V in bed, but did spot a silhouette perched on the windowsill.

“V?” Kerry said, voice raspy, rubbing what he thought was sleep from his eyes. “What fuckin’ time is it?”

V didn't answer, and when Kerry finished wiping his eyes, the haze hadn't gone away. As his vision focused, he saw the gentle glow of a cigarette in V's hand.

“You smokin’?” Kerry asked as he rose from bed, an exaggerated yawn escaping him as he stretched upward.

“Go back to bed, Kerry.”

He froze, any remnants of sleep culled by a familiar cadence. The voice was V's, but that tone.

After his initial shock died down, the feeling was immediately replaced with annoyance. Kerry threw on his robe and took heavy steps toward V's body. He snatched the cigarette away, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke back in his face.

“V doesn't smoke.” He put out the cigarette in one of the synth-bonsai nearby.

“We have an arrangement,” Johnny huffed.

“Uh-huh. I'll be sure ask him about that once you fuck off.”

Johnny rolled his eyes as Kerry walked off toward the bar. No matter if it was 1 a.m. or 6 a.m., it was definitely too early to be drinking.

“Thought seein’ you again was a one time thing.” Johnny heard mumbled from the next room, but wasn’t sure he was supposed to answer. He stood from the windowsill and walked toward the bar himself, leaning against the wall in a way V never did: hips jutted out, shoulders rolled forward. Johnny wasn’t used to being shorter than his bandmate.

“Don’t get to choose when I’m in control, ya know. Not like I wanted to wake up naked in bed with you. Might be my worst nightmare, in fact.”

Kerry sneered and knocked back a shot. “So, what? V just get sick ‘a bein’ behind the wheel of his own damn body? Figured you could drive for a bit?”

Johnny rolled his eyes, but stayed uncharacteristically quiet under Kerry’s scrutinous gaze.

“The fuck you doin’ here, Johnny?” Kerry pressed further.

Johnny glanced up to meet Kerry’s expectant eyes and sighed. “Had a seizure in his sleep. Usually the Relic’s way of puttin’ me in charge. Could fight it, but that only makes things worse for V, so here I fuckin’ am.”

Kerry’s eyes scrunched closed as he rested his elbows on the bar and hung his head in his hands. Johnny took the time to make himself a drink, taking it over to the cluttered coffee table and sitting on the edge. He sipped as Kerry grumbled to himself, “Fuckin’ ‘course he did. Said he didn’t get ‘em anymore, said shit was slowin’ down. And now I gotta hear it from Johnny. No, that’s preem—fuckin’ preem, actually, V—thanks for that…asshole.”

“Feel like I’m the middleman here. Gotta bring this up with him, ya know. Can’t relay nothin’ while I'm in the driver’s seat. ‘Specially not right now, he’s still asleep. Kinda. Hard to really explain how it all—”

Kerry slammed a whiskey bottle down on the bar. “CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!? Jesus fucking Christ, forgot how much you insert yourself in every fuckin’ aspect of my life.”

Johnny raised an eyebrow at the bottle, surprised it hadn’t cracked with the force.

“You die; somehow that becomes my problem. I’m movin’ on, movin’ up. I date a guy; acts just like you. Hated that, fuckin’ weird. Dump his ass, find a new fling. Wants to grow his hair out; starts lookin’ like you. Get married—fuckin’ married—do you understand the level of fucking desperate I was at to get married just so I would stop fuckin’ men that reminded me of you? Got any idea how much that fucked with me?”

Johnny couldn’t remember the last time he was speechless. But there he was, jaw slack, as Kerry unloaded fifty years of frustration.

Kerry was pacing the room at that point, arms crossed, not even noticing the sleeves of his robe sliding off his shoulders. “Then you bust down my fuckin’ door, fuck with my guitar—MY fucking guitar, that I had tuned that way on purpose, might I fuckin’ add…”

Kerry stopped, back to Johnny and hands in the air like he was about to scream. But he lowered his hands slowly as he said under his breath, “And there’s V. wrapped up in all your bullshit…and he just had to be perfect.”

He let those words hang in the air for a moment, hands trembling at his sides. Johnny could barely make out the breathy voice as Kerry whispered, “He’s perfect, and somehow he’s you. It always comes back to you.”

The gentle hum of the fridge behind the bar was all they could hear, both processing…that. Kerry took a couple steps back, the backs of his thighs colliding gently with the arm of the couch. He sat, not allowing himself to look at Johnny.

“Shit…” Johnny murmured. “Knew you wanted to fuck me all those years ago. Didn’t realize just how bad.”

Kerry slowly turned his head toward the dead rocker possessing V’s body. His eyes were slightly red, and Johnny swore his eyeliner was running at the edges. “That’s what you took from that?” Kerry’s voice was flat, void of any emotion. “Really?”

He hardly gave Johnny a second to respond before he stood and sauntered back to the bar, chugging the unexpectedly intact whiskey bottle. Johnny had only enough time to blink before he saw the bottle flying across the room at him. He ducked, the bottle shattering off the glass railing behind him.

Johnny was on his feet in an instant, screaming as much as V’s docile vocal cords would allow, “Are you out of your goddamn mind!? Yell at me all you want, but don’t take this out on V!”

It was an all too familiar song and dance. Kerry didn't move an inch as Johnny stomped toward him, just leaned back against the bar, crossing one leg over the other, one arm under the other.

“I'm not like you,” said in the calmest of tones. “I don't take shit out on him. Not like you took shit out on me whenever Alt stood you up. Not like you took shit out on Rogue whenever I was over your shit. Not like you took shit out on Alt whenever Rouge wouldn't answer your calls.”

Johnny's hands were trembling in their balled form, fists begging to act, mind telling them to hold. “Tryin’ to fix all that.” He growled through his teeth.

“Good luck. Now give him back to me.”

Minutes seemed to pass as their gaze held, Johnny trying—genuinely—to reach V; Kerry waiting with tired eyes and an impenetrable emotional wall.

Finally, after trying to force their nervous system to swap, Johnny's hands unclenched and he looked away. “Can't just switch places like that. Trust me, it'd make all this a lot easier if we could.”

Kerry looked at him a moment longer before rolling his eyes and turning back to the liquor shelves to grab another drink. “Whatever. Just make sure he—”

A struggled groan interrupted him. He tried to keep the glance over his shoulder casual, but the very act of looking at all revealed his worry. He watched as Johnny stumbled back onto the couch, clutching his head and Relic slot. With one last sharp breath, Johnny's eyes drifted open, V's hand relaxed over the Relic slot, Johnny's fingers stopped digging into his skull, and V's breath steadied.

Kerry tried to read their movements, to tell which one was sitting on the couch at that moment. Different parts of their body seemed to exhibit different mannerisms. Some V's, some Johnny's, some twitched like it couldn't decide from whom to take its orders.

Suddenly V was gripping his head again, and muttering under his breath, “Ah, fffffuck…” No one said it as softly as him. Certainly not Johnny.

Kerry finished filling his glass, walked over to the couch, and tapped V on the shoulder to offer it to him. “Hey.”

V looked up at him with cloudy eyes, sparks and pixels still popping. It took him a moment to process the scene his Kiroshis were transmitting to his brain. It was like an entire system reboot, everytime. After a few blinks, and his eyes darting between the whiskey glass and the man holding it, V gingerly took the cup and gave a weak smile. “Hey, Ker.”

“Y’alright?”

V sipped the drink, unable to taste yet. “Will be in a sec. Just gotta…recalibrate.”

Kerry nodded mindlessly before taking a seat next to V. The real V; body, mind, and soul. He eyed him with a look somewhere between caution and skepticism. Those hazel eyes that had been drilling into him seconds ago now regarded the whiskey in V's hands with a pleased arch of the brow. Hands that threatened to hurt—bruises on the knuckles to prove they could—held the glass delicately, touch so light that gravity should have been pulling it away. Lips that moments prior had delivered burning words so casually, now wet with liquor, V's tongue flicking out to clear them of the remnants.

Kerry wasn't thinking as his hand rose and the back slid across V's jaw, before deft fingers curled under the younger man's chin. V turned his head as Kerry's fingers instructed, only having a moment to look confused before he was pulled into a kiss.

It felt like an apology, soft and hesitant, checking in to make sure all was forgiven. He let it continue, despite the wariness behind each touch of their lips. V set his glass on the coffee table before using his newly freed hand to bring Kerry in closer, cupping the back of his neck.

“Hey,” V pulled back slightly, “what's up?”

Kerry kept his eyes closed for a second too long, and when they opened, his gaze looked past V, to the glass railing behind him. Another beat before he said, “Johnny was out.”

Following his eyeline to the railing, V saw shattered glass and a puddle of expensive spirits. A quick scan of the scene showed the bottle's trajectory, and the speed at which it had flown.

“He, uh…say somethin’ to piss you off?” V looked back to his lover, Kerry's eyes still glued to the crime scene.

“Eh, when doesn't he?” Kerry shrugged, finally looking V in the eye.

“Hey, look…I'm sorry you have to—”

“Told me you weren't gettin’ seizures anymore.”

V's eyes darted back into place, locking with Kerry's.

“Yeah. Wasn't for a while.”

“So you lied to me? What, thought it would make me worry less?” He still felt angry from his unresolved fight with Johnny, aware his wording was directing that left over anger at V, despite having no hand in—or memory of—the argument.

“Nonono,” V rushed to absolve himself, “you know I wouldn't. They just…stopped for a bit, then came back outta nowhere. Thought I was gettin’ better, genuinely.” He held either side of Kerry's neck.

Kerry stared for a moment before looking down at V's lips again. “You tell him he could smoke while he's runnin’ the show?” His thumb traced along V's bottom lip, over the cuts and scrapes he always came home with.

“Tastin’ it now. Fucker…” He was going to say more, but as his lips tingled from Kerry's absent stroking, V just watched Kerry's eyes slowly blink.

“What'd he say?” V asked after a long, tense moment, Kerry petting his lips all the while.

Kerry didn't answer, but his movements paused.

“Like you, V. A lot. And it doesn't have shit to do with Johnny, okay?”

V felt himself recoil with disbelief, “Johnny accuse you of usin’ me to get to him?”

Kerry sighed, hand sliding around to the back of V's neck to pull him in, resting their heads together. “Just need you to know I'm into you. Sure, might not've met if it weren't for that bastard, but if we had, can promise I'd still be into you.”

V smiled and placed a hand over the arm that held him. “I'm super into you, too, Ker. Like, crazy ‘bout you. Got no idea how I'd get through the day if I didn't have you waitin’ for me.”

Kerry pulled back a little, grinning. “What, think I just sit at home all day hopin’ you'll pop in? Like a sad puppy?”

V rolled his eyes and pushed forward for another kiss. “Fuck off, know what I meant.” V said between the touching of their lips.

Kerry stood quickly, pulling V up to continue their kiss. He broke away once they were both up, “Take your fuckin’ pills and get in bed.”

V laughed as he followed Kerry to the bedroom. “Dunno if I'm tired anymore.”

“Who said anything about sleepin’?” Kerry said in a devious tone as his robe fell to the floor.

#merry crystlr have a thing #writing? *takes drag of a cigarette* why i havent done that in years #thats not true im just a horribly slow writer and its all going into one long fic rn #v x kerry #kerry eurodyne x v #johnny x kerry #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #male v x kerry #kerry x male v #male v cyberpunk #little bit of angst #hurriedly wrapped up at the end cuz idk how to end stories lol

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