#Cryptkeeper Kassir

[artistgem]

Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit looking asses

[classichorrorblog]

Tales From The Crypt - "Half-Way Horrible" - (1993)

[brokehorrorfan]

Fright-Rags has restocked retro-style tees for each of three EC Comics’ classic horror series: Tales from the Crypt, The Vault of Horror, and The Haunt of Fear. Designed by Kyle Crawford, they're $33 each.

[duranduratulsa]

Now showing on DuranDuranTulsa's Horror Show...Tales From The Crypt Presents Demon Knight (1995) on glorious vintage VHS 📼! #movie #movies #horror #talesfromthecrypt #talesfromthecryptpresentsdemonknight #thecryptkeeper #williamsadler #BillyZane #dickmiller #ripdickmiller #cchpounder #jadapinkettsmith #ThomasHadenChurch #brendabakke #johnkassir #CharlesFleischer #ryanodonohue #JohnLarroquette #henryrollins #vintage #vhs #90s #durandurantulsa #durandurantulsashorrorshow

[bruceshideout]

“Make tonight a SHOCK-buster night! Hehehehe”

[radwolf76]

Meanwhile, the US was getting commercials like this instead:

Which is alright but doesn't compare to the memoriblity of the US commercial for the first Zelda, featuring John Kassir, who would later go on to voice the Cryptkeeper on Tales From The Crypt.

I've noticed the new era of Zelda fans aren't aware of this gem, so I thought I'd upload it here. This was a commercial exclusively for Japan in the early 90s to promote A Link to the Past for the Super Famicom. It's fully choreographed, and the practical effects and puppeteering aged super well for its time! Not to mention, the rap is still bangin☆

[fictionz]

New Fiction 2023 - September

"Baruch" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

A short interlude before another juggernaut of a chapter.

Creature Teacher by R.L. Stine (1998)

They really hold out on the monsters here in Series 2000, so this is a welcome entry.

Invasion of the Body Squeezers - Part 1 by R.L. Stine (1998)

An unnecessarily long red herring.

Invasion of the Body Squeezers - Part 2 by R.L. Stine (1998)

That's some way to prevent an extinction event.

I'm Your Evil Twin! by R.L. Stine (1998)

They always do the ol' switcharoo.

Revenge R Us by R.L. Stine (1998)

The Uncut Gems of Goosebumps.

Fright Camp by R.L. Stine (1998)

Fool me several dozen times, shame on us all.

Headless Halloween by R.L. Stine (1998)

Here we GOOOOO. A+ Goosebumps.

Attack of the Graveyard Ghouls by R.L. Stine (1998)

A bit weirder but still more welcome than kids being dicks and no actual spooky happenings.

Brain Juice by R.L. Stine (1998)

Just bizarre. Leaning a little too far into the weird science angle I've no interest for in these books.

The Deadly Experiments of Dr. Eeek by R.L. Stine (1996)

Nope. These gamebooks aren't good for reading one after another, and the ones that more or less stay in place are especially meh.

Night in Werewolf Woods by R.L. Stine (1996)

Another meh entry in spite of the werewolves running around.

Beware of the Purple Peanut Butter by R.L. Stine (1996)

More weird science and generally not scary stuff, less and less interesting.

"Hotline Miami" by KC Green (2023)

The speedrun.

"I was told by my doctor that this'll completely compensate my human meat diet" by scribblingchimp (2023)

Gotta find an alternate.

"Carl's Date" dir. Bob Peterson (2023)

Good to see the gang again.

The Equalizer 3 dir. Antoine Fuqua (2023)

Didn't need to do all that.

Bottoms dir. Emma Seligman (2023)

The kids are alright.

Elemental dir. Peter Sohn (2023)

A personal story.

They Live dir. John Carpenter (1988)

That's a long fight.

Jawan dir. Atlee (2023)

The Robin Hood we need.

Christine dir. John Carpenter (1983)

Somehow, a car is scary.

The LEGO Movie dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (2014)

Too familiar, but perhaps because it kicked off something we've seen a lot of since then.

Outlaw Johnny Black dir. Michael Jai White (2023)

A fun and shooty romp.

Satanic Hispanics dir. Alejandro Brugués , Mike Mendez, Gigi Saul Guerrero, Eduardo Sánchez, Demián Rugna (2023)

The anthology offers much.

Prey dir. Dan Trachtenberg (2022)

Hell yes. If they made Predator movies that are just "a Predator fights someone at this point in history" I'd be all in.

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight dir. Ernest Dickerson (1995)

Definitely a feature-length version of an episode, but they pull it off.

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood dir. Gilbert Adler (1996)

Or do they? But this is still better than...

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Ritual dir. Avi Nesher (2002)

A very boring movie like this.

Vault of Horror dir. Freddie Francis (1973)

Ooh that second story is tops.

Tales from the Crypt dir. Freddie Francis (1972)

This first movie was just a tad too straight-faced. Where's the camp?!

The Origin of Evil dir. Sébastien Marnier (2023)

A-n-x-i-e-t-y.

The Expendables 4 dir. Scott Waugh (2023)

I know they can't all come back every time, but the concept seems to be slipping away from them.

The Creator dir. Gareth Edwards (2023)

Hm. Striving toward something I might've liked but somehow doesn't land.

Tales from the Crypt - Season 7 (1996)

I've been annoyed with many people writing off season 7 as not worth watching. It's fine! There's even a few episodes really worth watching.

Tales from the Cryptkeeper - Season 1 (1993)

Basically Goosebumps, so John Kassir recording wraparounds is what makes it special.

Star Trek Strange New Worlds - Season 2 (2023)

I like it, but 10 episodes is not enough. Bouncing from fun to deadly serious episodes too often makes it feel disjointed.

[srhunt]

I could’ve made this entire video JUST about TMNT 2012

I didn’t even bring up:

Buried Secrets (basically a fusion of Evil Dead and The Thing)

The Rat King

Squirrelanoids (their take on a Xenomorph)

Parasitica

Mutagen Man (remember when Donnie said he’d fix him and then never did?)

In Dreams and the Dream Beavers (Nightmare on Elm Street, they even got Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund, to voice two of the beavers with the Cryptkeeper, John Kassir, voicing the other two)

Cockroach Terminator

Speed Demon (idk if they ever confirmed it but I always believed it was a parody of Stephen King’s Christine)

And the aforementioned resurrected Shredder

This is barely scratching the surface. I think we can all agree that TMNT 2012 was the scariest iteration of the Turtles, especially for little kids.

But for the sake of my point, I wanted to show different versions to prove that violence has always had a part in TMNT.

I had a concerned adult approach me at work yesterday and tell me that Mutant Mayhem was “so violent”.

I responded with, “Really?”

But in my head I was thinking, “oh honey, that’s NOTHING”

(Mutant Mayhem had a few moments that made me go “OH GEEZ!” but its no where close to being the most violent TMNT project)

[leam1983]

On Puppeteering Work

I've been thinking on Scream TV's failed bid to renew Tales from the Crypt, and remembered that for several people, there was just no outdoing KNB's work on the Cryptkeeper proper. Scream wanted to do away with the Horror Host format entirely and present Tales as an anthology, and you can imagine how this did not fly with fans of the nineties' incarnation of HBO. If you're poking around old EC Comics Pulp yarns, you are contractually obligated to toss John Kassir a bone. Literally. One of yours, ideally.

This'll go nowhere, obviously, but what if we cut the modern-day trends' offered Gordian knot in half? Previous efforts to give Crypty a full-body presence were a bit hackneyed (a leg shot of a costumed actor, panning out to an obstruction. Cut to the puppet bobbing past the obstruction as if the actor's legs had been its own). What if, instead, we used full-body GGI for long and medium-distance shots and actually kept the habit of using obstructions to shift to a puppet? It'd be easier to give the Cryptkeeper a more coherent sense of physical presence, as was afforded to him by the Nelvana-produced animated TV series.

I would also suggest cutting out the puppet entirely and just using animated segments for the intro and outro bits - Nelvana's segments, but for adults - but something tells me some would think this is sacrilegious...

[classichorrorblog]

Tales From The Crypt - "Dig That Cat….He's Real Gone" - (1989)

[brokehorrorfan]

Spirit Halloween has released a Crypt Keeper motion-activated animatronic for $400. Available online only, the Tales from the Crypt host is 2.5’ and speaks 11 phrases.

[titleknown]

Fun fact: John Kassir, voice of the Cryptkeeper, is on Cameo. So if you were able to scrape enough money up, you could theoretically pay him to say this.

Fun fact: There is a difference between "could" and "should"

Crypt Keeper voice: "Good evening, gooners and goonettes!"

[artistgem]

More bat loafs

[bloochouli]

i promised myself i’d leave stoneborn/stone fiends/all those until next week i failed toe beans stone fiend inspired by @prunus-spinosa‘s beautiful stoneborn artworks 😳 i believe in giant and smol gargoyles with toe (and maybe even hand) beans also the fact i tend to draw even denathrius with hand beans comes to show i think im addicted send help

[da-zzi]

Cryptkeeper Kassir