#Critical Conversations

[squishy-min-mochi]

It’s important to recognise that Barbie (2023) criticises both the patriarchy AND the matriarchy. Yes, the Ken’s are just accessories to the Barbies. Yes, they don’t have any say in the government they live under. That’s the point, you’re supposed to feel awful, you’re supposed to want the Kens to have their own agency, you’re supposed to want equality. The Barbie movie explicitly states that the way Barbie treats Ken is wrong, so much so that once he finds a safe space for his masculinity and individual identity he’s so excited to share it with the other Kens.

But they go overboard and replace a matriarchy with a patriarchy and now the same issue exists but in reverse. That’s the POINT!! THATS THE POINT!!! Barbie is not anti-men it’s pro equality PLEASE understand this

13th Aug 2023 UPDATE:

Heeeeey howdy!!

Due to the IMMENSE comments and discussion on this post (thanks ya’ll!!) I’ve decided to update my post with my recent opinions and hopefully clearer explanations!!

First, my original post only considers a very small and very vague analysis of the film!!

Since making this I've read all your comments and learned quite a bit about the matriarchy as it appears in human civilisation. Originally, I was pitting the patriarchy and the matriarchy against each other as though the results of their implementation were equal in the film.

They were not!! Below is the definition of matriarchy I’ll be working off of.

Matriarchy Simple Definition;

Matriarchy is a social system in which women hold the primary power positions in roles of authority. In a broader sense it can also extend to moral authority, social privilege and control of property.

There's a lot to talk about in the Barbie film that would fit better in an essay, so I'll try and condense it into this;

To me, Barbie (2023) is a film about the female experience and the shared connection between women that persists through childhood and adulthood, support and harassment, suffering and joy, mother and daughter.

It uses Barbie as its figurehead because of the immense societal and political impact the doll has had on women, both good and bad (as explained in the film).

The male experience as seen in Barbie (2023) is not the sole focus of the film- rather, it's an accessory (as the Kens are) to Barbie's story, and a necessary aspect of exploration to truly highlight the importance of individualism and healthy personal exploration.

I want to make clear that I in no way think the treatment of the Kens was just as bad as the treatment of the Barbies. I also still agree that the matriarchy fostered by the Barbies wasn’t good for the Kens.

Additionally, I’m aware that this take on Barbie (2023) works strictly within the assumed heteronormative boundaries of gender. There is a lot of nuance in the Barbie film and I don’t think everything can be covered or explained in on Tumblr post— but I hope this clarification helps!!

I hope you're all coming to your own conclusions and analysis of the film in a way that makes sense to you. And for those of you engaging in online conversations and discourse about it, I hope you're keeping yourself and others happy and safe!!!

Much love to you all!! < 3

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

[quantumshade]

there's an interesting thing rtd said from the commentary about the "real mom" line:

i get not liking the line but like. it's an intentional mistake and an intentional character choice, and something we'll return to in the future, and that seems like important context to have when talking about the episode.

[enyasaints]

I want to feel vindicated. SA + Legal Fund

I’m losing my motivation and drive everyday. I would love to feel a sense of community. This has not been reliable in my reality.

Direct Aid:

PP: enyasaints@gmail.com

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[yashley]

Then why are you here? What is it you want? I want to free you.

[piratespencil]

I’m obsessed with the way Laudna says, “Here Ashton, I made you a doll, because you’re a child.” The way those words are so cutting, so derisive.

But then Ashton says, “Thank you. I love it. I’ve never had a doll.” Completely genuine.

And Laudna smiles, and Laudna says, “I love children.”

And even though she was angry, so angry, so angry she thought she might kill Ashton when she saw him. She still made him a doll. And he loves it. And they have such a beautiful conversation.

There’s just something about how that conversation could have been so cold, so angry, but it wasn’t, and I’m obsessed with it.

[ariadne-mouse]

Briaus: so I shouldn't try to fuck everyone. Can I just pick a few?

Dorian: yes sure I advise it

Braius: hmmm how about Orym

Dorian: WAIT-

[deadrocks]

I do think that, when discussing the merits of a post-god Exandria, it's important to remember that many people in this world find peace, comfort, and purpose in their worship of the gods, and would be devastated by their loss. Not just clerics or god-aligned paladins, but many, many regular folk. Here in the real world, significantly more people ascribe to some kind of religious faith than don't; imagine what that proportion would be like in a setting where the gods are clearly and objectively real. Where people can pray and truly feel the presence of their god with them. Where they can grieve their loved ones in death yet know, without doubt, that that person's soul was welcomed into a divine domain. Where they know these gods came to their world and created all mortal life. Is there truly nothing there worth preserving? Is the imbalance of power between gods and mortals so fundamentally unjust that all that faith grants should be violently ripped away?

[essektheylyss]

I do just keep thinking about Essek listening to Ludinus talk.

Essek, who will be on the run for the rest of his life for the deal he made with Ludinus.

Essek, who handed over unfathomable power to Ludinus believing it to be for the greater good and embroiling an entire continent in war as a result.

Essek, who helped orchestrate acts of espionage searching for the priceless artifacts that he had handed to Ludinus which the Empire, under Ludinus's puppeting, used to claim themselves righteous—defended themselves against unlawful invasion—in their war.

Essek, who once believed Ludinus a like-minded peer before discovering that in his eyes he was only something to be used and cast aside once his purpose was served.

Essek, who has seen the scars carved upon his dearest friends by those Ludinus has enabled as a means to his ends.

Listening to Ludinus speak of the damage that the gods have wrought. The wars they have waged at the cost of others. The way they have coerced and manipulated mortals into enabling their ends. The lives they have ruined and left in their wake without a care.

There are no gods walking Exandria, but there are monsters.

[buckycap]

i do think it’s very important that liam pointed out specifically that no matter how hardheaded orym is in what he believes he doesn’t let that stop him from seeking dorian out for comfort and wanting dorian close to him and dorian quickly reciprocating. i think that’s especially important when so many people thought that their opposing sides would drive them further apart (especially on orym’s part) when in actuality we learned that orym’s love for dorian is SO fucking strong that it it supersedes his hardheadedness which when you remember who orym is, is actually a big fucking deal

[utilitycaster]

there's something really lovely about how, because the cast in their roles as the Mighty Nein put in care and effort into their relationship with an NPC designed as a minor antagonist, Essek became the person he is in 843 PD and in turn might be the reason why Laudna survives and escapes Delilah's grasp.

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

God, Zeru Wyvernwind was having a time at that meeting. Recently received word that one of his two missing sons had passed and also the world is ending so could he maybe please get to Vasselheim and help stop it from doing that. So he goes, and there's a collection of powerful people proposing that their battle plans involve sending multiple strikes teams to attack various key targets. After nominating two groups to handle two aspects of the plan, the third is pulled forward... and among them is his other son. Whom he hasn't seen in at least a few years because he left the Silken Squall first, whom he assumes isn't aware what happened to his brother (Zeru doesn't know that Dorian only started wearing gold after Cyrus died, and since he's going by a different name it would be easy to assume he's not adhering to traditional personal stylings), whom is willingly going to the front lines of a world shaking war.

It's no wonder he asked Dorian to leave the mission and come home; he's lost one son and is staring down the barrel of losing the other. After Dorian makes it very clear he's going see this through, Zeru demonstrates that he does trust him, despite Dorian's doubts, enough to let him go despite his own feelings. He asks him to be safe and gives him arms that will hopefully help, because that's the best he can do at this point. And he has to hope that it will be enough.

[squarecloud73]

*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it

Let's take off the jealousy, erase the rotten beneath, so we can polish this story, so pretty and clean.

[hoarding-stories]

Adding to the list of "Groundbreaking Knowledge that only the Bells Hells know":

The Matron's actual face

The identity of the two gods holding the divine gate

Details about the Matron's rite of ascension

The god's opinion on the Luxon

The Matron's feelings on things in general

They really have a "you can chat with us, take a load off" vibe as a party

[dinozaurtual]

its weird how as israelis, or even just as jews in general, as soon as you extend sympathy towards the people who were massacred on october 7th u immediately get blamed for "supporting israel" and "not holding your state accountable".

when its like. WE are the ones who have been fighting non-stop to make our government and military officials take responsibility for this. WE have been begging our leaders to take accountability while u guys are sitting there overseas typing out shit like "its actually okay to murder babies as long as theyre settler babies"