#Critical Conversations

[songforten]

there's an interesting thing rtd said from the commentary about the "real mom" line:

i get not liking the line but like. it's an intentional mistake and an intentional character choice, and something we'll return to in the future, and that seems like important context to have when talking about the episode.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

I could wax poetic about why Viktor's League backstory is inherently more interesting and more thematically resonant than where they went with him in Arcane season 2, but the cold hard truth is

a man covered in grease and probably blood who builds his own body out of scraps with his own two hands, can in fact build any contraption out of dinted metal sheets and a few screws including a deathray, performs deeply inadvisable operations on desperate but consenting people with his own tools, generates a cult following against his wishes because of his ability to inadvisably help people but the power's all his now anyway so he may as well, wants to clean up and save the undercity but is (only sort of) misunderstood as a walking Geneva Convention violation a freak and a supervillain, torments his arch-nemesis on at least a weekly basis and probably homoerotically hunts him for sport, had his life's work misattributed to people in the ruling class and is angry and tragic about it forever, tries to rip out his own emotions and is unsuccessful but pretends like he was not, is actually oddly kind to children, and is at the end of the day still just some guy,

is just hotter okay

[fiannans]

No, Bioware, you don't get to try to be cute and make jokes in-game about Rook eavesdropping on the companions' conversations when you're the ones who made the (debatable) creative decision not to let us actually have a proper conversation with our companions and get to know them by asking them questions like we were able to in every previous game.

"Hahaha, Taash just called you out on eavesdropping. Look how witty and meta we are." Okay, but how else are we supposed to learn anything about our companions?

[yashley]

Then why are you here? What is it you want? I want to free you.

[piratespencil]

I’m obsessed with the way Laudna says, “Here Ashton, I made you a doll, because you’re a child.” The way those words are so cutting, so derisive.

But then Ashton says, “Thank you. I love it. I’ve never had a doll.” Completely genuine.

And Laudna smiles, and Laudna says, “I love children.”

And even though she was angry, so angry, so angry she thought she might kill Ashton when she saw him. She still made him a doll. And he loves it. And they have such a beautiful conversation.

There’s just something about how that conversation could have been so cold, so angry, but it wasn’t, and I’m obsessed with it.

[ariadne-mouse]

Briaus: so I shouldn't try to fuck everyone. Can I just pick a few?

Dorian: yes sure I advise it

Braius: hmmm how about Orym

Dorian: WAIT-

[essektheylyss]

I do just keep thinking about Essek listening to Ludinus talk.

Essek, who will be on the run for the rest of his life for the deal he made with Ludinus.

Essek, who handed over unfathomable power to Ludinus believing it to be for the greater good and embroiling an entire continent in war as a result.

Essek, who helped orchestrate acts of espionage searching for the priceless artifacts that he had handed to Ludinus which the Empire, under Ludinus's puppeting, used to claim themselves righteous—defended themselves against unlawful invasion—in their war.

Essek, who once believed Ludinus a like-minded peer before discovering that in his eyes he was only something to be used and cast aside once his purpose was served.

Essek, who has seen the scars carved upon his dearest friends by those Ludinus has enabled as a means to his ends.

Listening to Ludinus speak of the damage that the gods have wrought. The wars they have waged at the cost of others. The way they have coerced and manipulated mortals into enabling their ends. The lives they have ruined and left in their wake without a care.

There are no gods walking Exandria, but there are monsters.

[buckycap]

i do think it’s very important that liam pointed out specifically that no matter how hardheaded orym is in what he believes he doesn’t let that stop him from seeking dorian out for comfort and wanting dorian close to him and dorian quickly reciprocating. i think that’s especially important when so many people thought that their opposing sides would drive them further apart (especially on orym’s part) when in actuality we learned that orym’s love for dorian is SO fucking strong that it it supersedes his hardheadedness which when you remember who orym is, is actually a big fucking deal

[glitter-soda]

4 am thoughts:

I think the rise in women identifying as nonbinary is in a large part a direct response to TIMs. TIMs adamantly claim they’re women because they “feel like women” and that causes internal conflict in actual women. They don’t “feel like women”. Instead of coming to the conclusion that literally nobody “feels like a woman” because being a woman isn’t a feeling, it’s a biological reality, they convince themselves that because they don’t have those gender feelings, they’re clearly not a woman. It’s honestly really sad and a great example of female socialization. Don’t question the men, it’s not your place to correct them and you don’t want to cause problems by doing so, instead figure out why it’s you who must be wrong.

[utilitycaster]

there's something really lovely about how, because the cast in their roles as the Mighty Nein put in care and effort into their relationship with an NPC designed as a minor antagonist, Essek became the person he is in 843 PD and in turn might be the reason why Laudna survives and escapes Delilah's grasp.

[squarecloud73]

*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it

Let's take off the jealousy, erase the rotten beneath, so we can polish this story, so pretty and clean.

[hoarding-stories]

Adding to the list of "Groundbreaking Knowledge that only the Bells Hells know":

The Matron's actual face

The identity of the two gods holding the divine gate

Details about the Matron's rite of ascension

The god's opinion on the Luxon

The Matron's feelings on things in general

They really have a "you can chat with us, take a load off" vibe as a party

[redwinesupernoova]

If i was smarter than i currently am, i would write a long and thoughtful passage about parallels between Caduceus and Fjord, the weight of responsibility on their shoulders, placed there from a very young age, about family (Via blood and otherwise) and its importance, involuntary loneliness and enduring hardship all by yourself, concluding with the fact that they discovered kinship and family within each other which is really no surprise after all. But sadly, i'm not, so for now i'm gonna lament amazing dynamic that they had, which seems to be lost and forgotten by most in favour of other more romance leaning relationships. A shame, really. Will always be one of my favourites, this one.

[dinozaurtual]

its weird how as israelis, or even just as jews in general, as soon as you extend sympathy towards the people who were massacred on october 7th u immediately get blamed for "supporting israel" and "not holding your state accountable".

when its like. WE are the ones who have been fighting non-stop to make our government and military officials take responsibility for this. WE have been begging our leaders to take accountability while u guys are sitting there overseas typing out shit like "its actually okay to murder babies as long as theyre settler babies"

[shadovvheart]

one hilarious example of veilguard's writing doing the quite aggressive hand-holding during a conversation to make sure people don't miss the important info. this is all in the same scene btw:

in case you missed: elgar'nan is HERE. right NOW. unlike ghilan'nain, who isn't.

i've adhd and auditory processing issues so i get easily distracted by the most random stuff but even i felt annoyed by the constant bombardment of repeated info over and over throughout the main quests