#Creepy Kingdom Network

[seanpultz]

D-Generation X in The Haunted Mansion

The Heartbreak Kid and The Game in a spooky situation.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (whistles in amazement) "Would you look at that, man? That place is giving me major Joel Rathbone mansion vibes!"

TRIPLE H: "You're not kidding, Shawn. It's like we stepped into one of those spooky movies they show on the WWE Network during Halloween."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You know, the ones where the wrestler thinks he's tough until he meets a real-life monster?"

TRIPLE H: "Yeah, those. But we're not here to wrestle, we're here to check out The Haunted Mansion!"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Alright, let's do it. But remember, no cheap shots or hiding behind gravestones, okay?"

TRIPLE H: "Scared, Shawn?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Not a chance, Hunter. But I've got a feeling this isn't going to be your typical 'Doink the Clown' level of spooky."

TRIPLE H: "Bring it on, Shawn. I've faced the Undertaker, I can handle a couple of ghosts!"

They both chuckle as they walk up the pathway, the grandeur of the mansion looming over them, casting eerie shadows across the manicured lawn. The ornate details of the Gothic Revival Pointed-style villa, reminiscent of A.J. Davis's design, stand out against the backdrop of the Magic Kingdom.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Okay, so the birdbath's a no-go for a splash. What's the deal with the carriage?"

TRIPLE H: "Looks like we've got some invisible horseman action going on. Maybe we'll get our own carriage ride later."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. And what's with the family portrait?"

TRIPLE H: (nods at the busts) "I think we're about to find out. The plot's thickening."

The mysterious music stops abruptly as they approach the gate, and the words on Prudence Pock's tomb seem to shiver before vanishing. The door creaks open, and a gust of chilly air greets them, beckoning them into the servant's entrance of the mansion.

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Well, this is definitely not the VIP entrance."

TRIPLE H: (smirks) "But it's definitely got the VIP level of creepiness."

As they step inside, the door slams shut behind them with a resounding thud.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (looks around nervously) "So, what do you think, should we split up and look for the ghosts or stick together?"

TRIPLE H: "Let's stick together. Safety in numbers, right?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Good call. This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies."

TRIPLE H: (glances up at the portrait) "Who's this dashing fellow?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "I don't know, but he's got that 'haunted mansion' vibe down pat."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "When hinges creak in doorless chambers. When strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker when the air is deathly still… That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight."

While this is being said, the picture above the fireplace starts transforming Dorian Gray-style from that of a handsome young man, to that of a rotting corpse. Once the picture's transformation is complete, one of the walls opens up next to the picture, revealing an octagonal room.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (startled) "Did you see that, Hunter? The portrait changed!"

TRIPLE H: "Yeah, I caught that. It's like he's aging before our eyes—and not in the good 'HBK' kind of way."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "That's not right. Who said that spooky stuff?"

We enter this octagonal room from the Foyer. Four paintings (A bearded gentleman holding a document, A pretty young lady holding a parasol, An old woman holding a rose and A man in a bowler hat) flanked by candle-wielding gargoyles, hang from the walls in this chamber.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host. Our tour begins here in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now."

The doors we enter slam shut, The room begins to stretch upwards, the paintings on the walls elongating with it to reveal a comically gruesome end for each subject:

The bearded gentleman holding a document is revealed to be wearing only his undergarments from the waist down and standing atop a lit keg of dynamite.

The pretty young lady holding a parasol is revealed to be balancing on a fraying tightrope above the gaping jaws of an alligator.

The old woman holding a rose is revealed to be sitting atop a tall gravestone, at the bottom of which is a stone bust of her husband George with a hatchet embedded in his head.

The man in a bowler hat is revealed to be sitting on the shoulders of another man who sits on the shoulders of a third man who is waist deep in quicksand.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (laughs nervously) "Well, that's one way to keep the guestbook interesting."

TRIPLE H: "I don't think 'corruptible, mortal state' means what he thinks it means."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Looks like we're stuck with the worst seats in the house, buddy."

TRIPLE H: (smirks) "More like the hot seat. Let's not stick around to see if they're hiring for a tag-team match."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation, This chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"

The Ghost Host laughs as our focus is on the ceiling.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): Of course, there's always my way.

The lights go out and lightning flashes above. The ceiling vanishes and gives a view of the mansion's cupola, where the skeletal corpse of the Ghost Host sways from a noose tied to the rafters. After a few seconds, the room becomes pitch black and a dreadful scream is heard, followed by the sound of bones shattering. Just as suddenly as it had begun, the horror ended, and the lights flickered back on. They blinked in the sudden brightness, their eyes adjusting to find that the skeletal corpse was gone, and in its place, a wall had slid open, revealing a hidden passage.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, ‘look alive,’ and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please."

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Okay, that was… intense. Did you see that?"

TRIPLE H: (nods) "Yeah, I think we've got our exit strategy."

They cautiously step forward, into the now open passage. The air is colder, the walls lined with dusty cobwebs. The smell of ancient decay fills their nostrils as they proceed.

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You know, I've faced a lot in the ring, but this… this is something else."

TRIPLE H: "Just think of it as a new kind of steel cage match, Shawn. But with less steel, more dust."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "And hopefully less jump scares."

We continue onward down a long hallway, leading to a short queue that is used to board the Doom Buggies.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please."

The two Superstars board their Doom Buggy.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows) "Alright, this is it. Time to hop in and face whatever this 'Doom Buggy' has in store for us."

TRIPLE H: "After all those TLC matches, I've learned to expect the unexpected."

They both sit down in their designated Doom Buggy, the ride vehicle that would take them through the heart of the Haunted Mansion. The buggy starts to move on its own accord, guiding them through the darkened halls of the mansion.

TRIPLE H: (firmly gripping the safety bar) "Remember, Shawn, no hitting the ghosts. They're just doing their job."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "No promises, but I'll try to keep my Sweet Chin Music to myself."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times."

The safety bar is lowered, locking the two Superstars in their Doom Buggy.

The Doom Buggy enters a rather steep stairwell and pass under a landing where a floating candelabra floats in the darkness. After they pass under, they enter a hallway. To the left are two windows with white sheer drapes; lightning crashes and thunders outside. To the right are four paintings: a woman in a black sheer dress reclining on a daybed, a sloop on choppy waters, a knight on a rearing horse, and a woman in a Greek temple. With each flash of lightning, the paintings become: an anthropomorphic tiger, a ghost ship in a tropical storm, a skeleton knight on a skeleton horse, and Medusa in Greek Ruins.

TRIPLE H: "Keep your eye on those paintings, Shawn. They're playing tricks on us."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "This is getting wild, man. I didn't know Disney had it in them."

TRIPLE H: "I've seen weirder things at Vince's house, but this is definitely up there."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights."

Leaving the hallway, we enter into a rectangular library, which is filled from floor-to-ceiling by shelves lined with hundreds of books. Phantom hands pull books from the shelves. An empty chair rocks gently back and forth, and a ladder slides to and fro as an unseen force searches for a good read. Among the shelves, marble busts glare at the two Superstars as we move along in the gloom.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions, only ghost stories, of course, and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Whoa, check out those books flying around! It's like we're in a scene from 'Ghostbusters'!"

TRIPLE H: "And look at those busts, they're staring us down like we're about to jump off the top rope at them."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "I've got a feeling we're not going to find any WWE biographies here."

TRIPLE H: "Speaking of which, did you catch the title on that one? 'The Art of Haunting'? Sounds like a self-help book for heels."

Leaving the library, we enter the Music Room. In the room, our heroes find an invisible ghost playing a Rachmaninoff-style arrangement of Grim Grinning Ghosts on the piano. The ghost's shadow can be seen cast upon the floor, while a storm brews outside.

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Okay, now this is something I can get into—haunted tunes!"

TRIPLE H: "Just don't start singing 'Sexy Boy' to the ghost pianist, alright?"

The Doom Buggy glides smoothly.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "They have all retired here, to the Haunted Mansion. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "One thousand, huh? I think we're good on that count."

TRIPLE H: "Yeah, unless they're looking for a tag-team to spice things up around here."

Next, we enter the main stairwell of the Mansion. Here in this M.C. Escher-like void the stairs go right-side up, upside-down, sideways, slantways, longways, back ways, front ways, square ways, and any other ways that you can think of. It is on these steps we see the ectoplasmic footprints of the Mansion's ghostly residents.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (looks around in amazement) "How do they even clean this place? It's like a staircase from the Twilight Zone!"

TRIPLE H: (smirks) "I bet Vince McMahon wishes our contracts were written on these stairs—we'd never find the loopholes."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Very funny, Hunter. But seriously, these stairs are giving me vertigo."

The Doom Buggy ascends the impossible staircase, the ethereal footprints guiding them deeper into the mansion.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Well, if you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour. A charming ‘ghostess’ will be on hand to take your application."

In the blackness, glowing, blinking eyes transform into the pattern on the wallpaper.

TRIPLE H: "Look at that, Shawn. The wallpaper's got more eyes on us than the crowd at WrestleMania."

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Yeah, and they're not exactly giving us a warm welcome."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills."

The Doom Buggies pass a second floor passageway that seems to go on forever, lined with doors. A lone candelabra floats in midair halfway down it. Flanking the hallway entrance are a subtly-moving Suit of Armour and an armchair designed to have a "face."

SHAWN MICHAELS: (points at the floating candelabra) "Hunter, check it out. It's like they're lighting our path to…uh, I don't know, the ghostly locker room?"

TRIPLE H: "I don't think we're heading for a pep talk. More like a spooky VIP section."

The Doom Buggies continue their journey, passing through a hallway where the wallpaper comes alive with more eerie eyes, watching the two Superstars. The atmosphere is thick with anticipation, each step deeper into the mansion revealing more of the otherworldly secrets it holds.

TRIPLE H: "Shawn, this place is giving me the creeps. But I've gotta admit, it's also kind of… cool?"

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “Shhh, listen!”

A keening sounding like a banshee is heard.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Hunter, did you hear that? What in the world was that?"

TRIPLE H: (nervously glances around) "Sounded like someone's about to drop a chair on us, but with more screaming."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "That's not funny, man. What's going on here?"

They ride past an alcove-like conservatory, the space choked with decaying and overgrown plants and vegetation. Outside the huge glass walls is a misty landscape, with only the gnarled limbs of leafless trees visible in the gloom. A raven perches on top of a stand with a withered funeral wreath, and in the center of the chamber is a coffin whose occupant is trying to get out - skeletal hands attempt to push the lid open saying "Let me out! Let me outta here!", which based on the nails sticking through the wood was meant to stay sealed.

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Seriously, what was that sound? It's like someone's in trouble!"

TRIPLE H: "It's probably just part of the show, Shawn. You know, like when we had to wrestle in the thunderstorm at SummerSlam '98."

SHAWN MICHAELS: (skeptical) "Yeah, but I've never heard anything like that in the ring, man. It's giving me chills."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): “All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through."

Our Doom Buggy is then carried backward down an ominous corridor, a series of doors on either side of the car. Growls, screams, maniacal laughter and pleading voices emanate from behind them, as if something is trying to get out. Doors bend, as if they are breathing, knockers clack and rattle, and the walls are adorned with some "family portraits" of corpses.

TRIPLE H: "What's with these doors, Shawn? It's like we're in a haunted Hotel California."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Just don't expect to check out anytime you like, Hunter. I've got a feeling this place holds onto its guests."

At the end of the hall lies a grandfather clock, with its arms spinning wildly backwards and the clock striking 13. A shadow of a clawed hand passes over the face of the clock.

TRIPLE H: "Did you catch that, Shawn?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows) "Yeah, I did. That wasn't exactly a 'hands off' signal."

We next enter the shadowy Séance Circle. The buggies travel in a circle facing a large table and high-backed chair in the center of the room (a raven perches on the back of the chair). Above this table floats a crystal ball containing the spirit of Madame Leota, chanting incantations that summon the spirits to appear.

MADAM LEOTA Leota: "Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever they’re at! Rap on a table — it’s time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond…

SHAWN MICHAELS: (whispers to Triple H) "I think we've found the ghostly GM's office."

TRIPLE H: "More like the 'Ghost in the Machine' if you ask me. This is getting pretty wild."

The Doom Buggy stops for a brief moment, allowing them to take in the eerie sight of the floating crystal ball and the ghostly visage of Madame Leota.

MADAM LEOTA: "Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween: Awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond: let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell!"

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later."

Next, we travel along a balcony overlooking the hall. A major party is underway as a multitude of transparent spirits engage in all sorts of revelry. A long dining table covered with decayed floral arrangements and dusty silverware plays host to a birthday feast, and whenever the orange-haired birthday ghost blows out the candles on a birthday cake at the head of the table, the other ghosts seated there vanish, only to reappear when the candles light again; nearby, an old woman disappears and reappears in a rocking chair. Several haunts drift into the hall from a hearse parked in a doorway, while cloaked wraith-like phantoms fly in through the broken windows from a stormy night outside. While a number of ghosts - including the notorious Pickwick - gadabout on the chandeliers above the room, a pair of duelists emerge from their respective paintings on the far wall and take shots at each other, forever reenacting their age-old feud. The open floor whirls with waltzing couples as a ghastly organist plays Grim Grinning Ghosts on a pipe organ, where tiny spirits emerge from the pipes.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (whispers) "Hunter, did you see those dudes fighting with the candles?"

TRIPLE H: "I can't miss that, Shawn. It's like they're having a never-ending battle royale."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "And the waltzing ghosts? This is more dramatic than the Royal Rumble."

TRIPLE H: (chuckles nervously) "At least we don't have to worry about getting eliminated—yet."

The Doom Buggies continue to glide through the spectral soiree, the energy of the supernatural partygoers seemingly infecting the air around them.

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You know, this isn't so bad. It's like a backstage party after a big win, minus the free food."

TRIPLE H: "Yeah, and hopefully minus the hangover tomorrow. But we've got to keep our guard up."

Leaving the Grand Hall, we ride through a dark, dusty and cluttered attic, where the sound of a beating heart and a sinister piano rendition of "The Wedding March" can be heard. Among the brick-a-brac are several pieces of wedding paraphernalia and decor, and five different marriage paintings, depicting the same bride but with a different groom in each. As guests watch, the heads of each of the grooms disappear, only to reappear moments later. After passing the source of the music, a broken-down piano with an invisible pianist (only a shadow of a man cast on the wall and keys), we come face-to-face with the ghost of the bride, Constance Hatchaway.

CONSTANCE HATCHAWAY: “In sickness and in… wealth. You may now kiss the bride. We’ll live happily ever after. Till death do us part. Here comes the bride. As long as we both shall live. For better or for… worse. I do. I did.”

TRIPLE H: (whispers to Shawn) "Look, Shawn, it's the ultimate wedding crasher."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Hunter, that's not funny. This is starting to feel like a real horror show, not a wrestling match."

The ghostly bride, Constance Hatchaway, glares at them, her eyes following the two men as they pass, her sinister laugh echoing through the attic.

TRIPLE H: "Let's get out of here before she decides we're next on the guest list."

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows) "Agreed. This place gives me the willies."

The Doom Buggy descends into the next part of the mansion.

Following leaving the Attic window, the Doombuggies move down the balcony outside the house and down a flight of stairs backwards. A raven caws at guests from a tree branch. The shapes of rising spirits can be seen everywhere.

TRIPLE H: (swallows) "Okay, Shawn, we're not in the Performance Center anymore. This is next level."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Tell me about it, man. Those ghosts are giving me more chills than the 'Taker at WrestleMania."

Upon reaching the ground, the graveyard Caretaker can be seen with his dog, the two of them utterly petrified by the sight before them.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (whispers) "Hunter, check out the caretaker. He's more shook than when we faced The Brothers of Destruction."

TRIPLE H: (swallows hard) "Yeah, but his dog seems to be taking it in stride."

Music is all around, while playful spooks pop-up from behind their tombstones. To the left, a group of five phantoms play a flute, a horn, a bagpipe, a harp, and pound on a tombstone to create an unearthly vibe. A King and Queen balance on a see-saw while a Duchess swings from a tree branch while she drinks a cup of tea. In the very back a skeletal wolf is seen howling at the moon. On the other side of the path, five Singing Busts come into view, bearing very vividly lit, expressive faces as they sing:

♪ When the crypt doors creak ♪

♪ And the tombstones quake ♪

♪ Spooks come out for a singing wake ♪

♪ Happy haunts materialize ♪

♪ And begin to vocalize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪

♪ Now don't close your eyes ♪

♪ And don't try to hide ♪

♪ Or a silly spook may sit by your side ♪

♪ Shrouded in a daft disguise ♪

♪ They pretend to terrorize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪

♪ As the moon climbs high o'er dead oak tree ♪

♪ Spooks arrive for the midnight spree ♪

♪ Creepy creeps with eerie eyes ♪

♪ Start to shriek and harmonize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out socialize ♪

♪ When you hear the knell of a requiem bell ♪

♪ Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell ♪

♪ Restles bones etherealize ♪

♪ Rise as spooks of every size ♪

Other ghosts materialize, gathering around a hearse and drinking tea. A Mummy sits in his sarcophagus, trying to make contact with an elderly spirit who is just too deaf to understand him. Two "Phantoms of the Opera" blast their ghostly voices into the night. A Beheaded Knight, his Executioner, and his Prisoner all sing as a trio, while the poor ghost behind them tombs himself up. Our hero's Doom buggy enters the Mausoleum at the end of the Graveyard sequence where they are immediately "greeted" by the Raven who caws at guests while perching on the door to the Mausoleum.

TRIPLE H: "Shawn, this is… intense."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You can say that again. It's like we've walked into a live action Night of the Living Dead, with a side of 'Bohemian Rhapsody'."

TRIPLE H: (forcibly laughs) "At least we're not the ones getting buried alive."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "Not yet, anyway."

As they enter the Mausoleum, the temperature seems to drop, and the air grows heavier with the weight of unseen presences. The Raven caws again, seemingly enjoying the intrusion.

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention. Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts!"

They pass by three hitchhiking spirits; a Traveler, a Skeleton and a Prisoner.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Hitchhiking ghosts, huh? That's not something you see every day in the wrestling world."

TRIPLE H: (nervous laugh) "No kidding. I guess we're not in kayfabe territory anymore, Shawn."

Triple H and Shawn Michael's Doom Buggy passes by a wall of mirrors showing that the Hitchhikers are sitting in the vehicles along with the rider.

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Did you just see that, Hunter? Those ghosts are hitching a ride with us!"

TRIPLE H: (nervously laughs) "Looks like we've got some extra passengers. But hey, maybe they're just fans looking for a backstage pass to the afterlife."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "I don't know, man. This isn't the kind of tag team match we're used to."

TRIPLE H: "Don't worry, Shawn. We're the Heartbreak Kid and The Game. I'm sure we can handle a little post-match haunting."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!"

A very small being only around the size of a doll. She wears a white satin dress with a long, non-transparent hood, often mistaken for a veil, of the same material. She has visible long blue hair and glowing pale blue skin. stands atop the ledge of the crypt holding a bouquet of dead flowers. She is Little Leota, the Ghostess.

LITTLE LEOTA: “Hurry back. Hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying… to have you…".

SHAWN MICHAELS: (swallows hard) "Well, that's one way to sell merch, I guess."

TRIPLE H: "This isn't merch, Shawn. This is real. We've got actual ghosts trying to hitch a ride with us."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You know what that means, don't you?"

TRIPLE H: "Yeah, we can't exactly drop them at the next exit ramp."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "We're going to have to outsmart them, or we might be signing up for a lifetime subscription to 'The Twilight Zone'."

THE GHOST HOST (offscreen): "Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!"

The safety bar is risen and the Superstars disembarks the Doom Buggy. As we head for the exit, we hear the ghosts sing this following passage:

♪ If you would like to join our jamboree ♪

♪ There's a simple rule that's compulsory ♪

♪ Mortals pay a token fee ♪

♪ Rest in peace, the haunting's free ♪

♪ So hurry back, we would like your company ♪

SHAWN MICHAELS: (quickly) "Hunter, we've got to get out of here before we're stuck with these ghosts as permanent tag partners!"

TRIPLE H: "No arguments here, Shawn. I didn't sign up for a match that never ends."

They make a break for the exit, their hearts racing as the ghostly voices of the Hitchhikers and the rest of the Haunted Mansion's inhabitants seem to follow them.

LITTLE LEOTA: "Hurry back, hurry back, hurry back…!"

TRIPLE H: "Not a chance, Little Leota! We're retiring from the afterlife circuit!"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "And we're sticking together, like a well-oiled tag team!"

The two wrestling legends push through the swinging doors, the ghostly laughter fading behind them as they re-enter the bright lights and bustling energy of the Magic Kingdom.

TRIPLE H: (breathes a sigh of relief) "Well, that was… an experience."

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You can say that again. I've wrestled in some weird places, but that takes the cake—or should I say, the funeral wreath?"

TRIPLE H: "Let's just agree to stick to the ring from now on, okay?"

SHAWN MICHAELS: "You got it, brother. No more 'haunted' side quests for HBK and The Game."

They exchange a firm handshake, leaving the Haunted Mansion behind, but not without a few lingering shivers down their spines. As they walk away, the distant echo of the Ghost Host's laughter seems to remind them that the supernatural world of WWE is never truly far away.

[racylightblueuniverse]

My Adventure Time OC, Babrielle The Bread Princess by RacyLightBlueUniverse

Oh What's Up?, Well I Had A Couple Ideas For Some of My Adventure Time OC's That I Have A While Ago Besides Alternative Outfits Too, Now I Present To You Babrielle The Bread Princess!!!!!

——————————————————————————————————–

Name: Babrielle The Bread Princess

Nicknames: Babrielle, Bread Princess

Sex: Female

Age: 20

Physical Age: None

Species: Bread People

Occupation: Princess

Place of Origin: The Bread Kingdom

Current Residence: The Bread Kingdom

Height: 5’ 7"

Weight: 50 lbs

Relationships:

Family: Unnamed Mother, Unnamed Father

Friends: None

Love Interests: None

Enemies: None

Neutral: None

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Personality and Character Traits: Sweet, Serious, Shy, A little Scared, Kind, Tough, Cook

Powers and Abilities:

Bread Biomass: She can heal and restore herself using Bread or Bread Dough!

Weightless Body: She is very light weight!

Inflation: She can fully inflate her body when she feels threatened by someone or something, increasing her size 5 times!

Skills and Hobbies: Cleaning, Dancer, Athletic, Runner, Orderly

Basic Backstory: She Is The Princess Of The Bread Kingdom!

Weapons and Equipment: None

Disguises and Other Personalities: None

Likes: Photography, Calm, Massages And Cooking

Dislikes: Birds, Creepy Things, Disobedience

Quotes: “I Need A Moment To Relax!” “I'm Kind Of Scared Now!” “Hey That's Not Nice!” “Does Anyone Have Bread?” “Oh It's Fantastic!”

Relationship Chart/List: Closed None

Questions: Closed

Roleplays: Closed

Dares: Closed

Headcanons: Closed

Notes: -Other Instant Idea. -Is Fun! -Links Full: Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram and Deviantart

Babrielle The Bread Princess - Me Art - Me Adventure Time © Pendleton Ward/Cartoon Network

[shadowredfeline]

Yeah I used to think about the Joy Virus before in 2015. It was really creepy though, but I remember Phantomstrider talked about that episode before in the Spookiest Cartoon Episodes. He thinks it's well done, and sometimes thinks they can't do scary scary content, because it's Gumball. But I don't usually think of the Joy Virus anymore since I moved onto something different, like the Glitchy Zombies like in Pibby, or the T Pose Zombies from SMG4. But normally if Richard would do something even stupid, either Mr. Pickles or Ernie the Giant Chicken would go after him for what he did. Otherwise the whole Cartoon Network universe will have to be trapped in an Online Fantasy World. Like if the Cartoon Network characters are in the World of Final Fantasy or my game Kingdom Smash which is the same as Final Fantasy. But I would imagine if Brown saw Cartoon Network characters turned into Heartless and then he needed Heffy's Help like they can both battle them together. Depends who is being controlled by the Heartless. Then again, if there's another Pandemic, I would just have myself and my friends be trapped in an Online Fantasy game. The same goes for our OCs.

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….

(NO COPYING OR PLAGIARIZING FROM ME AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIEND’S WORK! THAT INCLUDES OUR CHARACTERS, DESIGNS, STUFF, ETC. IMPOSTERS AND SEXBOTS ARE NOT WELCOME TO FOLLOW MY BLOG WHATSOEVER! 😡 That will be all….I mean it.)

On This Day - Mar. 29th, 2020

Imagined where all cartoon characters are infected much worse than death. At least I used to come up with this idea while we’re in lockdown. It happens while I’m supposed to have “Brown in CN City” moments; as much I would to continue forward as a series or something. Let’s just say that the year of 2020 was not his day that he wanted it.

🥜Brown: It’s a nightmare while trying to survive through this mess. At least knowing I managed to stay alive til months later of coming back home. Thank goodness for peanut butter snacks and toiler papers I’ve got, right? 😅👍 (Do hope it’ll never happened again….😒)

Tagged: @murumokirby360 @carmenramcat @alexander1301 @rafacaz4lisam2k4

[raiyine]

GUEST MOVIE REVIEW by Jeff C. Carter: Hack-O-Lantern

GUEST MOVIE REVIEW by Jeff C. Carter: Hack-O-Lantern

Hack-O-LanternRated R, 1:27, 1998Director: Jag MundhraWriters: Dave Eisenstark (story), Carla Robinson (screenplay)Cast:Hy Pyke – as GrandpaGregory Scott Cummins – as TommyAvailable on: Amazon Prime Streaming, TubiA town is terrorized by devil worshippers and a masked killer. Hack-O-Lantern begins appropriately with lurid red titles floating in black space, accompanied by the creepy pulse of…

[mycollateraldarkness]

IG: My_collateral_darkness

TITLE: JOURNEY TO THE NIGHTOSPHERE

Original art. Acrylic water color with black ink detail

[esamastation]

Breath of the Wild snippet

Link is bored. It's a little startling how easy it's to see – how easy he's to read these days. Where before, hundred years ago, he'd been as unreadable as a brick wall, a look of serious determination as though permanently etched to his face, now he's an open book, covers flung wide. The serious frown still makes an appearance, of course, it's his default expression, Link's face simply rests in a way that makes him seem as though he's almost scowling, but now, should an emotion cross his mind… he does nothing to hide it. 

Like now, as his attention strays and his eyes wander and every so often he smothers a sigh or a yawn or a longing look directed at the door. It's in part painfully and in part endearingly clear how little attention he's paying to their meeting, and how much he wishes he could be elsewhere.

Zelda smothers a smile and then realises she's allowed herself to be distracted, and quickly turns her attention back to the meeting taking place in Impa's house.

"... a little difficult to test," Purah is saying. She's sitting cross legged in the middle of the floor, her seat cushion abandoned and papers flung about her – most of them about her anti-aging rune. "I can't even promise the test subject will survive the process, never mind that it will work even fifty percent of the time... so finding people to volunteer has been an issue."

"What, no old folks interested in regaining their misspent youth?" Robbie asks with a slight snort, adjusting his goggles. "I'd happily test it, if my work wasn't too important to risk!"

Purah gives him a look. "Well, duh. Most folk are the same," she says and shakes her head. "And besides, the population and age statistics don't exactly trend towards the elderly these days. The average life expectancy of both Hylians and Sheikah both trend about forty years younger than it used to be pre-Calamity. And the only way for people to reliably grow old these days –"

"Is to have a family or other support network, helping them," Impa muses, rubbing at her chin. "Which means they have things too dear to lose, for an uncertain chance."

"Just so," Purah says and folds her little arms, adorable in her seriousness. "I did post queries around Hateno village, of course, but I only had a couple of takers, and they all turned tail when I explained the risks. And we can't improve the chances without further testing. And we can't do further testing without candidates. And we're not likely to get more candidates with the chances being what they are - it's a vicious circle." 

By the door, Link looks ready to nod off. 

Zelda hums, looking at the papers Purah had brought, conflicted. It's incredible work, just as a concept, and Purah hadn't just left it at theory – and the results certainly speak for themselves! Purah is now, what, hundred and twenty, hundred and thirty years old? And she looks as though she is a girl of six, with all that time ahead of her and not behind. If the technology could be made reliable, it would no doubt change the future in ways Zelda can scarcely imagine… for the better, she hopes, for all the people of Hyrule.

But right now, she has more selfish reasons to make enquiries into the rune.

Zelda looks at Impa, sitting on top of a pile of pillows, her weathered, aged face thoughtful. Their eyes meet and Zelda steels her resolve. "Might there be any potential candidates in Kakariko village, Impa?" she asks.

"Hmm. I doubt it. Young Zain, maybe?" Impa muses. "Well, he's not so young. He's in his seventies, he has bad knees and no surviving relatives to support or be supported by. Bit of a sour grape, that one, though. Sceptic. Hard to convince."

"I'm sure if the Lost Princess and the Hero who stopped Ganon ask for it, anyone would be happy to give it a go!" Robbie says, slapping his folded knees. "Especially if they learn what it's all for!"

Zelda smiles, wincing, and looks down. Using her standing for such a thing… sure she'd done things of that nature before, pleading people to join their cause, ages ago… but never with the risks so high, and potential results so uncertain. She'd never liked asking people to risk their lives, for her or otherwise. Even with a cause so important...

"It would be a somewhat awkward thing to ask, though," she muses and looks down. "It is an awkward thing to ask. I'm… I'm sorry to have to ask it of you."

After all this time, all these years, all the service they'd already put in, to ask for so much more of them… but she had to. No one woman could rebuild a kingdom by herself. She needed help, she needed allies – she needed Impa and Robbie and Purah. With such a foundation, Hyrule might yet rise, better than ever, but for that to ever happen… Impa and Robbie needed to go through what Purah already had, and extend their already prodigiously long lives even further. They all deserved their quiet retirement, after all the effort they'd put in, but for Hyrule, Zelda would make this cruel request.

"Ha!" Robbie says, striking a pose. "Like I wouldn't do this without being asked! As soon as Purah can improve the odds – no, as soon as we can improve the odds –"

"What's that, you old coot, what do you mean by we?" Purah depends, bouncing to her feet. "If you think I will let you ever into my lab, mister, you're sorely mistaken –!"

"If we work together, combine the efforts of Akkala and Hateno tech labs, we're sure to succeed! With Cherry's incredible computing power and your Stone –"

"Your creepy ancient furnace is getting nowhere near my Guidance Stone!"

Link startles awake at the noise they're making and Zelda smothers a giggle while Impa sighs.

"I will ask Paya to check in on Zain, maybe he will be interested," Impa says and shakes her head. "But it's still a small test study, with only two subjects. I'm sorry, Zelda – as much as I wish to do this, I am with Robbie on this. The chances are too low and I have too much to lose, right now. Paya is nowhere near ready to take over for me here. There needs to be more candidate's, first, and I don't know where we can get them. But," she hums and looks away. "There might be someone who does."

Link yawns and then freezes, finding all of them staring at him. Then, clearly baffled, he points at himself quizzically, and Zelda offers him a smile.

Impa chuckles. "You've been all over Hyrule now, Link – you've traveled farther than probably anyone has in a hundred years. Better than anyone, you know the state of her people. Do you think there is anyone out there who might be interested in Purah's study – in regaining their youth, even at a risk?"

Link scratches the back of his neck thoughtfully and then takes out the Sheikah Slate, opening the map with an easy, well practiced wipe of his fingers over the screen. Zelda leans in, once more amazed – and a little jealous – of how far he'd gotten with it, how full of markers the map is. Hundred years ago, she'd estimated that there might be as many as a dozen sites of ancient Sheikah technology all over Hyrule. Link had discovered over a hundred. They now glow on his map, like glittering blue gems, the Towers and Shrines he'd seen and mastered.

Link zooms in on the map and then puts down three other markers. One in Zora's domain, one in Gerudo Town and last in Lurelin Village. Turning the slate around, he shows the map to everyone.

"Of course," Zelda breathes in realisation. "The Guardians never reached so far, so their populations were never so scattered or scarred. In Zora's domain, in Gerudo Town and in Lurelin, people can grow old peacefully, without fear of attack."

Link makes a face and a wobbling gesture with his hand and then shrugs. Zelda smiles, sadly. "Aside from monsters and other disasters and misfortunes, of course," she agrees. "But without fear of attacks by Guardians, they were allowed to prosper."

"Not the Rito, though?" Robbie asks, his goggles whirting and shifting like the eyes of a gecko as he looks between the map, Link and Zelda. "Or the Gorons?"

Link shrugs, rubbing at his neck.

"Gorons age like rocks, Daruk always said," Zelda muses. "And I suppose with Rito it can be difficult to tell their ages. If we send out invitations to the study, we should include them as well – assuming that the treatment by the rune isn't Sheikah exclusive…?"

Purah rocks back and forth on her feet thoughtfully, almost as though she's about to dance. "I… don't know? I calibrated the first version based on my own physiology, so it might be best to stick to Sheikah and Hylians for a start – but I can't see why it couldn't be adjusted. Gerudo are closer in structure to us than Rito and Gorons, or Zora for that matter. Might be best we start there, when we begin making modifications to include everyone."

"So, begin with Lurelin," Robbie says and nods. "How do we do that?"

"We'll make some posters and Link can zip in and out of Lurelin Village to post them," Purah says and strikes a pose. "It's just a snap for the Sheikah Slate."

Impa hums in agreement. "Best we make advertisements for Kakariko and Hateno as well, and perhaps some of the stables," she muses. "You never know who might take us up on it, and getting this technology to work at hundred percent will be a benefit to everyone."

"You're right," Zelda agrees, nodding. "Purah and Robbie, I suppose you two know best what should go on the poster. Can you make it?"

"It'll work much better, with your name under it," Robbie points out.

"We'll write a draft and you can copy it and put your royal touch and seal to it," Purah says and does an excited little dance. "This is so exciting! We'll get so many applicants and my little Guidance Stone will get to do it's thing!"

Zelda offers her a smile, all the while wondering, not for the first time… how much of a royal she even is, at this point. With the castle in ruins and the Kingdom in shambles, with no one to rule it for a hundred years… all that Zelda is now... is a story. The Princess that went to fight Calamity Ganon as the Kingdom fell asunder all around her. Not many even believe it. That might change with this meeting and the following cooperation, especially when they'd begin reaching out further, but right now… 

Princess of nothing indeed.

"So much was lost," Zelda murmurs, carefully resting her hands in her lap to keep herself from wringing them. She shouldn't concentrate on the losses. Not when there's so much to do. "It will be good to build something for a change. To improve things."

"Indeed," Impa says, nodding her head, her heavy hat tilting. "But if Calamity Ganon taught us anything, it is that we should take all due caution."

"Yes. And speaking of which," Zelda says and lifts her eyes to Robbie. "Your research in Akkala – I would very much like to hear more about it. Link showed me the armour and weaponry you made, they're very impressive – how did you manage it?"

Robbie all but launches himself into the story of Akkala Ancient Tech Lab, the research he'd done there, the progress he'd made, enthusiastically recounting the creation of his Ancient Furnace, Cherry. Zelda leans in, allowing herself to be drawn in, and by the door Link settles down with a sigh and begins nodding off again.

-

Hmm hmm. Took me 3 years, but I finally finished botw.

I might continue this one and it might end up a Stargate crossover. Who knows.

[geekcavepodcast]

REVIEW | Amazon’s “Cinderella”

I hate that I like this!

The music is processed, the song choices are oftentimes laughable, the rap parts of the movie sound like they were written by someone who once heard about Hamilton from someone who only saw previews, the world of the movie is so stereotypical that it threatens to overtake satire and return to sincerity, and the subtext of the movie is so heavy handed that it may as well be holding a club...and I really liked it.

It’s the story of Cinderella, with a twist.

The story beats are essentially the same. A put-upon step-daughter desires to escape her basement life. She does not wish for marriage, however, but through financial independence. She designs and makes dresses, but this dream is frustrated by the patriarchal society in which she lives that prevents her from owning or operating a business.

At the same time, the prince is having difficulty finding someone that he connects with in order to get married, which makes the King irate as it’s messing with his legacy. One day, Ella catches the eye of the prince and he agrees to the concept of a ball providing that every eligible maiden in the kingdom is invited.

Ella wants to go to the ball, not for courtship purposes, but to network with nobility and perhaps find a patron that will finance or buy her dresses. On the day of the ball, however, her stepmother stains the new dress with ink and reveals that Ella has been promised to Thomas, a creepy AF tutor.

The Fabulous Godmother appears, takes one of Ella’s designs and dresses her in it and sends her to the ball. Two things happen, Ella meets a queen who is taken by her dress and wants to see more, and Ella seems to fall in love with the prince. Given the opportunity to marry him and join the nobility, Ella says “no” as it would mean giving up on her dreams.

Then some other stuff happens and the prince realizes that maybe he doesn’t need to be king, and they end up courting, though whether they are engaged or not is left unanswered.

So what sells this movie? I meant what I said above about my criticisms. They stand on their own; but the actors sell the hell out of this story. If even one actor didn’t buy in, the whole thing would have collapsed under the weight of its own messaging. Because everyone bought in, because everyone plays their part so well, the jokes are funnier, the pathos is more affective, and the predictable story beats are rendered comforting rather than irritating.

Look, it’s the story of Cinderella, we’re not expecting great changes to the story. Would I have liked more original music? Yes, I would. However, despite using songs by Queen, Madonna, and a mash-up of The White Stripes “7 Nation Army” with En Vogue’s “Whattaman,” the whole movie comes across as charming, upbeat, and optimistic. There are flaws to be sure, but every one of them can be overlooked by movie’s end, and despite every trailer park roundup commenting on it, I recommend this movie.

GRADE: B+

[aion-rsa]

Hulu New Releases: June 2021

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Hulu’s list of new releases for June 2021 is highlighted by a host of useful library titles and one fascinating original film.

The original film in question is the one that lends its delightful photo of Pierce Brosnan delivering a baby to this post. False Positive stars and was written by Ilana Glazer (Broad City). It sounds like a really fun, creepy time with a synopsis that reads: “After months of trying and failing to get pregnant, Lucy (Glazer) and Adrian (Justin Theroux) finally find their dream fertility doctor in the illustrious Dr. Hindle (Pierce Brosnan). But after becoming pregnant with a healthy baby girl, Lucy begins to notice something sinister through Hindle’s gleaming charm, and she sets out to uncover the unsettling truth about him, and her own “birth story.” Cool!

Hulu’s other original offerings aren’t too inspiring this month. Only Love, Victor season 2 on June 11 moves the needle much. If you count “FX on Hulu” as Hulu then June 17 sees the arrival of Dave season 2. Dave was one of TV’s best surprises last year and it’s nice to have it back.

After those two, it’s just a bunch of library titles. Thankfully, those library titles are fairly intriguing. Arachnophobia, The Dark Knight, Kick-Ass, and Slumdog Millionaire all premiere on June 1. Willy’s Wonderland, featuring Nic Cage’s battle against animatronic puppets, arrives on June 13.

Here is everything else coming to Hulu this month.

Hulu New Releases – June 2021

June 1 CHANGING THE GAME: Documentary Premiere (Hulu Original) American Ninja Warrior: Season 13 Premiere (NBC) Housebroken: Series Premiere (FOX) Small Fortune: Complete Season 1 (NBC) 50/50 (2011) A Most Wanted Man (2014) A Perfect Day (2006) A Prayer For The Dying (1987) The Adventures of Tintin (2011) Across The Universe (2007) Alive (1993) Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid (2004) Anaconda 3: Offspring (2008) Anacondas: Trail Of Blood (2009) Arachnophobia (1990) Batman Begins (2005) The Big Chill (1983) The Birdcage (1997) Black And White (2000) The Blair Witch Project (1999) The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows (2000) Bloody Sunday (2002) Blue Streak (1999) The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009) Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star (2011) Charlotte’s Web (1973) The Company You Keep (2013) Conviction (2010) Convicts (1991) Convoy (1978) The Cookout (2004) The Dark Knight (2008) Desperate Measures (1998) Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) Dragonfly (2002) Driven (2001) El Dorado (1967) Face/Off (1997) The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) The Full Monty (1997) Fun in Acapulco (1963) Gamer (2009) Get Smart (2008) Hanging Up (2000) Hud (1963) The Hustler (1961) Jennifer 8 (1992) Jennifer’s Body (2009) Just Wright (2009) Kick-Ass (2010) Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2000) Last Chance Harvey (2008) The Last House on the Left (2009) Little Women (1994) The Long Goodbye (1973) The Love Letter (1999) The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) Once Upon A Crime… (1992) Ordinary People (1980) Places In The Heart (1984) Primary Colors (1998) Revolutionary Road (2008) Richie Rich (1994) Rules of Engagement (2000) Sabrina (1995) Savage State (2021) Saving Silverman (2001) Scorpio (1973) Silence (2016) Slumdog Millionaire (2008) The Soloist (2009) Some Girls (1988) Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Soul Survivors (2001) Still Waiting (2009) Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) Switchback (1997) The Time Machine (2002) To Die For (1995) The Upside (2017) Vanity Fair (2004) Waiting… (2005) Walking Tall (1973) Wayne’s World 2 (1993) Weekend at Bernie’s (1989) Wilde (1998) Wings Of Courage (1995) Witless Protection (2008) Young Adult (2011)   June 2 America’s Got Talent: Season 16 Premiere (NBC)   June 3 MasterChef: Season 11 Premiere (FOX) A Glitch in the Matrix (2020) Night of the Kings (2021)   June 4 The New York Times Presents: New Episode (FX on Hulu) Beat Shazam: Season 4 Premiere (FOX)   June 5 Emergency Call: Season 2 Premiere (ABC) Rams (2021)   June 7       Celebrity Family Feud: Season 7 Premiere (ABC) The Chase: Season 2 Premiere (ABC) To Tell the Truth: Season 7 Premiere (ABC)   June 8       The Bachelorette: Season 17 Premiere (ABC) Legion Of Brothers (2017)   June 9       The Croods: A New Age (2020)   June 10     Trolls: TrollsTopia: Complete Season 3 (Hulu Original) Card Sharks: Season 3 Premiere (ABC) Trust (2021) Two of Us (2019)   June 11      Love, Victor: Season 2 Premiere (Hulu Original) Real Housewives of Potomac: Complete Season 5 (Bravo) Come True (2021)   June 13       Dragonheart (1996) Dragonheart: A New Beginning (2000) Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer’S Curse (2014) Dragonheart: Battle for the Heartfire (2017) Not Fade Away (2012) Willy’s Wonderland (2021)   June 14  Rūrangi: Complete Season 1 (The Yellow Affair)

June 15       Accused: Guilty or Innocent?: Complete Season 1 (A&E) Alone: Complete Season 7 (A&E) Alone: The Beast: Complete Season 1 America Our Defining Hours: Complete Season 1 (A&E) The Celebrity Dating Game: Complete Season 1 (ABC) Dance Moms: Complete Season 8 (A&E) Duck Dynasty: Complete Season 3 (A&E) Forged in Fire: Complete Season 7 (A&E) Hoarders: Complete Season 11 (A&E) Married at First Sight: Complete Season 11 (A&E) Mountain Men: Complete Season 6 (A&E) Swamp People: Complete Season 11 (A&E) The UnXplained with William Shatner: Complete Season 1B (A&E) Born to Play (2020) Gone Girl (2014) Her Deadly Sugar Daddy Her Name Is Chef (2020) Michael Smerconish: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Talking (2020) Nasrin (2020) The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2020) The Outside Story (2021) Secret Life of a Celebrity Surrogate (2020) (Lifetime)   June 17       DAVE: Season 2 Premiere (FX on Hulu)  Phobias (2021)   June 18       Holey Moley 3D in 2D: Season 3 Premiere (ABC) The Hustler: Season 2 Premiere (ABC) When Nature Calls: Series Premiere (ABC)   June 20 The Guilt Trip (2012)   June 21 Cutthroat Kitchen: Complete Seasons 2 & 3 (Food Network) Worst Cooks In America: Complete Season 4 (Food Network) Backyard Builds: Complete Seasons 1 – 4 (Corus) Big Bucket Food List: Complete Season 1 – 2 (Corus) Family Home Overhaul: Complete Season 1 (Corus) Farmhouse Facelift: Complete Season 1 (Corus) Home to Win: Complete Seasons 1 – 3 (Corus) Home to Win for the Holidays: Complete Season 1 (Corus) Jr. Chef Showdown: Complete Seasons 1 – 2 (Corus) Save My Reno: Complete Seasons 1 – 4 (Corus) Hot Market: Complete Season 1 (Corus) Wall of Chefs: Complete Season 1 (Corus) Hostiles (2017)   June 22 Monster Trucks (2017)   June 23 College Bowl: Series Premiere (NBC) Motherland: Fort Salem: Season 2 Premiere (Freeform)   June 24 An American Haunting (2006)   June 25 FALSE POSITIVE (2021) (Hulu Original) Making It: Season 3 Premiere (NBC)   June 26 The Choe Show: Series Premiere (FX)   June 27 Safer at Home (2021)   June 29 Bratz : The Movie (2007) Harvie & The Magic Museum (2021)   June 30 Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) Jack Reacher (2012) The Sweet Life (2016)

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Leaving Hulu – June 2021

June 4  Intrigo: Dear Agnes (2019)   June 5 The Appearance (2018)   June 11 Intrigo: Samaria (2019) LA 92 (2020)   June 17 Identity (2003)   June 30 28 Days Later (2003) 50 First Dates (2004) A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994) A Night at the Roxbury (1998) A Prayer For The Dying (1987) A Simple Plan (1998) A Storks Journey (2017) The Birdcage (1997) Blue Streak (1999) Brooklyn’s Finest (2010) Bug (2007) Bulworth (1998) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974) Changeling (2008) Cheech & Chong’s Still Smokin’ (1983) Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009) Convicts (1991) Convoy (1978) The Core (2003) The Devil’s Double (2011) Did You Hear About The Morgans? (2009) Die Hard (1988) Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000) Face/Off (1997) The Foot Fist Way (2008) Frankie & Alice (2014) The Full Monty (1997) Garden State (2004) Get Smart (2008) Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003) Guess Who (2005) Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957) How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) I Am Legend (2007) Into the Arms of Strangers: Stories of the Kindertransport (2000) Junior (1994) Knowing (2009) Little Women (1994) Live Free Or Die Hard (2007) The Long Goodbye (1973) The Man Who Could Cheat Death (1959) Monster’s Ball (2001) Mystery Science Theatre (1996) Napoleon Dynamite (2004) New in Town (2009) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009) The Ninth Gate (1999) Once Upon A Crime… (1992) Pandorum (2009) Paycheck (2003) The Polar Express (2004) The Preacher’s Wife (1996) The Princess Bride (1987) Ramona and Beezus (2009) Revolutionary Road (2008) Rio (2011) Salt (2010) The Sandlot (1993) Saving Silverman (2001) Scary Movie 4 (2006) Scorpio (1973) Sex And The City (2008) Sex And The City 2 (2010) Shirley Valentine (1989) Sleeping With The Enemy (1991) Some Girls (1988) Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Soul Plane (2004) The Sum of All Fears (2002) Thirst (2009) Vantage Point (2008) Vertical Limit (2000) Walking Tall (1973) War (2007) The Wedding Planner (2001) Where the Heart Is (2000)

The post Hulu New Releases: June 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3p5o9Gp

[tonystarkbingo]

3 Prompt Summaries

Ransom Note, Royalty and Lending a Hand - suggested by @polizwrites

@rebelmeg - what do you get when you combine elite royalty, a mob boss with a reputation for being ruthless, and a ransom note that tells them both that their child is being held hostage? well... nothing good, that's for sure, because this team-up is going to be the stuff of legends.

@deehellcat - Prince Tony is promised in marriage to King Obadiah of a neighboring realm so their lands can be merged, but marrying that creepy old man is the last thing he wants to do. he confides in his best friend and bodyguard Sir James Rhodes who pledges to lend him a hand, Rhodey pens a fake ransom note that the prince has been kidnapped then helps him sneak out of the castle in disguise.

@somesortofitalianroast - Prince Steven of Brooklyn should have known it was a bad idea when he decided to tour Philadelphia by himself. At night. By the Schuylkill. Yeah, it wasn’t his best idea. He also should have known that the Family that still [still!] ran Philadelphia would send a ransom note to his family. And he should have known that the Duchy of Brooklyn had an inside man who was happy to lend a hand.

@27dragons - Barnes doesn't generally work kidnappings -- he's a homicide detective, so if they're calling him in on a kidnapping, it's because something went terribly wrong. But when Prince Tony is kidnapped off the street in broad daylight by a crew leaving no clues whatsoever other than an encoded ransom note, Chief Fury told him to get over there and lend a hand. The problem is, the note seems to suggest that the kidnapper... is Barnes himself.

@celtic7irish - We have your prince. Four words on a ransom note with no ransom demands. James sighed. The royalty around here caused him no end of grief. He turned to his best friend and Captain of the Guard. “It’s him again. Want to lend me a hand on this one?” Steve grinned, fierce and proud. “When do we start?”

@polizwrites - When Tony disappears leaving only a couple of face cards from his favorite deck laid out on his desk, Jim thinks it’s a joke - that is until Mr. Stark gets a ransom note. And as much as he despises Tony’s dad - Jim knows he has to help.

@Magicadraconia16 - When he complained to his Captain of the Guard that he really needed a break from his princely duties - and Howard - he wasn't expecting to end up staring at a random note . . . for himself.

@rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter - Ransom Note, Royalty, Lending a hand In sickness and in health. That was the promise. Tony hadn't meant to break it. He certainly hadn't meant to wish Bucky away. Now he's got a ransom note sent by some 'Goblin King' and ragtag troupe of labyrynth dwellers willing to lend their hands...and sometimes paws.

@jacarandabanyan - Royalty AU, Prince Anthony Stark is kidnapped! His parents are searching the realm for him, and offering high prizes to anyone who can return him to them safely. The only clue they have is a ransom note written in Tony's own handwriting, and a claim from a servant that the Prince was seen approaching a rough dubious-looking man with one arm with a request that the man 'lend him a hand' getting out of a marriage contract…

Keep reading for more!

Sunflowers, Starlight and Lollipops - suggested by @magicadraconia16

@polizwrites - Morgan was never quite sure whether her father had made up that lullaby, or if it was something that someone had sung to him as a child, but it was a tune she still hummed to herself whenever she was feeling sad or lonely.

@celtic7irish - Tony had no idea where he was, trapped on an alien planet and lost in some sort of flower field, but with no flowers he’d ever seen before. He was pretty sure those were sunflowers, but they were sparkling in the starlight, making the whole field light up like it was coated in fireflies. Checking around in his pockets, Tony sighed as he pulled out one of Morgan’s lollipops and popped it into his mouth. “Great. Let’s go find the fairies and see if they can get me back home,” he muttered, striding off across the field.

@rebelmeg - art summary - stark family lying out under the stars in a field, sunflowers bobbing over their heads, and probably holding big colorful carnival lollipops because i've got no better idea + @newnewyorker93 - that, but daytime and they're looking at clouds, one of them is definitively lollipop-shaped

@somesortofitalianroast - It was the weirdest offering Tony had ever seen on his desk. A bouquet of sunflowers, a copy of Muse’s Starlight, and a bag of Dum Dum lollipops. There wasn’t even a card to explain who it was from, or who it was too. Huh. Maybe Pepper had put the items there and forgotten about them…

@27dragons - It's late by the time Tony gets home from work -- so late it's early -- and he's exhausted beyond belief. He navigates the house by the starlight coming through the windows and hopes desperately he won't wake anyone. He just wants to sneak into bed and curl up against his spouse for whatever few hours remain of the night. But he has to stop when he gets to the living room, where a lamp has been left on, shining on a carefully-arranged bouquet of sunflowers, Tony's favorite. Stuck in between the flowers are a handful of lollipops, proving that more than one person had a hand in this. The note says, "Cleared it with Pepper, you have tomorrow off. Come to bed." Tony's family is the best. [There, managed to write it so it can be whatever ship you want.]

@jacarandabanyan - One of Tony's less-publicized hobbies is funding off-the-wall science proposals made in jest at scientific conferences. The more outrageous the project, the more willing he is to pitch in money, supplies, networking help, etc. This time, he's even agreed to do the research himself. Which is how he found himself up on the moon of an unfamiliar planet in an unfamiliar galaxy, studying botany papers and trying to find what happens when you grow sunflowers by the light of a different star than Earth's sun. As ways to avoid the press and the Board go, it's original at least. Two months into his experiment, two little girls claiming to be "daughters of Thanos" pay him a rather menacing visit. He offers them a lollipop.

@rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter - Once a decade, under the light of the full moon, and across the three dark nights of the winter solstice, the Starlight games are hosted. Sunflower has won the last four games running, but that was before Lollipop had Bucky fighting for them. This round they're out for nectar and Bucky intends to be MVP. Of course, the prize this year was extra sweet: a kiss from Starlight prince Tony-and a chance to win his hand.

@deehellcat - the last thing Morgan remembers is her mommy screaming as the car careened off the road and crashed. she sits up and looks around but she isn't in the city anymore, instead in a grassy field. a man comes toward her, a man she recognizes, and she runs into his arms yelling DADDY. they go for a walk thru a field of tall sunflowers (he says they're his favorite) and up a hill, they lie in the grass sucking on lollipops and looking at the stars. then he kisses her & tells her to give her mommy his love, before the world around her fades and she finds herself waking up in a hospital with Pepper hovering over her.

@summerpipedream - "What's this?" The book was frayed at the edges, but had a beautiful sunflower on the cover, a lolipop sticker on the edge. "Ana's cookbook," said Jarvis. "With all your favourite recipes as a child. " Now that omega Tony is expecting, and forced into bedrest by the doctor and his worried mate Steve, Tony vows to learn how to cook, one recipe at a time.

Hallmark, magic, and brunch - @somesortofitalianroast

@somesortofitalianroast - It’s not like Tony was expecting his Sunday brunch to be something out of a Hallmark movie, but he could have done without his fairy godmother showing up and telling him that he was the sole heir to a magical kingdom and it was time for him to claim his throne.

@polizwrites - Tony knows how to conjure up exquisite dishes with the wave of a wand; but to prove he truly loves his partners, he makes them a meal from scratch. It’s not his fault he really, really likes cinnamon…

@summerpipedream - "Nat, how the hell are pancakes supposed to solve anything?" Natasha rolled her eyes and tapped on the sign behind the counter. "Pancakes solve everything." Bucky glared. "You literally just put that up." Natasha waved her wand with a flourish. "And if I did? Eat up Barnes. Your destiny is about to walk through that door." Bucky was about to complain, but then the bell to the diner rang. Tony Stark walked through the door.

@27dragons - This isn't some sappy Hallmark movie. Bucky knows that. He's not expecting some magical force to make Tony fall in love with him, really. But he's going to try, anyway. Starting with brunch.

@rebelmeg - "tony... these are the most flawless eggs i've ever seen. how did you do that?" he grinned to himself as he slid the two perfect sunny-side-up eggs onto the waiting plate. "just magic." rhodey was watching from the table, a smirk on his face. "yeah, that or the hallmark movie you watched last week that made you cry." rhodey kind figured he deserved the piece of toast that tony threw at him.

@newnewyorker93 - Unfortunately for Stephen Strange there isn't a Hallmark card that quite covers apologizing for ruining brunch with Tony when a chaotic interdimensional beastie follows him through his portal (next time he'll take the subway)

@celtic7irish - Stephen glared at the man standing next to him. “What makes you think I can just I this away?” he demanded sarcastically. Tony shrugged, trying to hide a shiver. He wasn't dressed for this weather. “I don’t know. I mean, we were just supposed to be having brunch, and now we’re in some sort of freaking Hallmark Christmas thing, and I’m pretty sure that magic caused it. Because it definitely isn’t science.” He grimaced; Tony hated admitting that things like magic even existed, but when one had the Sorcerer Supreme for a boyfriend, one learned to accept that magic was probably real. Stephen sighed, summoning a portal to the Mirror Dimension. “Well, at least our first anniversary date isn’t boring.” Tony glared.

candlelight, window, vampire - suggested by @rebelmeg

@celtic7irish - The slender figure standing in the window, his profile lit only by the flickering candlelight, turned to look at him, and James shivered. So this was Anthony, rumored vampire and lord of the castle. And James' new patron.

@somesortofitalianroast - They’d all heard the rumors: an honest-to-god Vampire had set up in a moldering castle in Transylvania and was passing himself off as Dracula. After several sets of negotiations, Steve was chosen to go and check out the rumors. He was expecting… Well, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to see the most beautiful man he’d ever seen through the window, shaving by candlelight.

@27dragons - Bucky was starting to get a handle on this whole vampire gig. He'd figured out the best ways to hide from the sun, how to hide the death-pallor of his skin with candlelight, how to mask the scent of blood on his breath with wine. What he hadn't figured out was what to do about the stunningly beautiful man who was currently climbing through his window.

@rebelmeg - it had practically been a challenge, and Tony never backed down from a challenge.  The whole world at large had managed to make vampires unsexy for pepper, but danged if he wouldn’t manage it before the night was through.  The candles by the window had been placed strategically, putting a soft golden glow over the two of them as they looked at their reflections in the glass.  

“Okay, tip your head back on my shoulder.  A little more.  Just like that.  Now look.”  tony saw it on her face when she saw them, framed in the window, his hand resting delicately on her jaw as he lowered his mouth to her throat.

“You win,” she said around a bit of a gasp, her pupils dilating as her heartbeat skyrocketed. “You as a vampire would definitely be sexy.”

With a pleased hum, tony gave her a playful nip.  Just a little one.

@summerpipedream - You have 3 new messages. Press one to playback. 

"Hey Tony, it's Steve. I'm sorry to interrupt your honeymoon with Bucky, but uh- do you remember Count Dracula lookalike last month? The guy who tried to take over the city? Well he's sent some sort of wedding gift to the tower. It's uh- hanging out the window. Hold on-" 

"Hey Tony. It's Steve again. Uh any chance you know where the spare candles are? That's stupid why would the tower have candles- never mind." 

"NEVER MIND. IT'S BAD. WE"RE RUNNING. DON'T COME BACK TO THE TOWER-" 

End of new messages

@gavilansblog - Tony stared at the candle on the windowsill. Or rather, squinted. "What were you thinking?" He demanded, slurring around his fake vampire teeth. "How is this supposed to look like a haunted house when the lights are making it bright as day in here?" Bucky winced. "How was I supposed to know they even made 1000 watt candle shaped bulbs?" (Brought to you by the conversation I was having just now with a friend whose brother made this mistake)

@Magicadraconia16 - "Leave a candle in the window," they said. A load of superstitious old nonsense, if you asked Tony. As if he's really going to leave an old-fashioned burning candle in the window where Dum-E could knock it over (although, that would give him an opportunity to use his brand new fire extinguisher...) It was just a shame that nobody mentioned that the candles weren't to scare the vampire off - they were to feed the light-vampire, and without it... well, the next nearest source in Tony's house just so happens to be his arc reactor.

@polizwrites - As a creature of the night the warm glow of the candle on the windowsill was a bittersweet reminder of the world he’d never see again. “I’m sorry, my love.” James reached out as if to snuff the flame, but Anthony stayed his hand. “No need to apologize, dear one.”

Cats, Sandwich, Chaos - suggested by @celtic7irish

@somesortofitalianroast - Very little had changed since Steve had brought Bucky in from the cold. Except the lunch meat disappeared from the fridge at a rate that not even JARVIS could explain. And that Bucky brought a cat with him. It was a small, white thing that loved Tony’s workshop and loved the bots. It caused more chaos than something that only weight five pounds should have been able to cause, and it loved his sandwiches.

@celtic7irish - Tony stared at the chaos in his living room; overturned tables, toppled lamps, and were those claw marks on his drapes? “What the-?” Tony trailed off, his voice faint, sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Daddy!” Morgan squealed, her eyes wide and face innocent as she held a squirming, wriggling bundle in her arms. A moment later, a small kitten stuck its head out of the blanket, meowing pitifully. “Can we keep her?”

@27dragons - Tony likes to think he takes a lot of weird things in stride, as an Avenger. Magic? Sure. Random visitations from a god of chaos? Old hat, these days. Insane robots and/or aliens trying to take over the city? No problem. But he had to admit, even he was having trouble maintaining his calm in the face of a trio of superheroes sitting at the kitchen table, eating sandwiches and sporting cat ears. Real ones. Oh, and tails. Yeah, he's... going back to bed.

@rebelmeg - “BUCKY!”

“What?”

“Your cat stole my sandwich again!”

Bucky watched as alpine skidded around the corner and dove under the couch, tony’s beloved 3-bacon sandwich clamped tight in his jaws.

“Yup.  he sure did.  Why do you keep leaving it out?”

“IT WAS IN MY HAND!”

Just another tuesday...

[mayohigan-orange]

This is basically this thing but for those who don’t want to mess around with an image! Or if you wanna give some extra reasons for them.

So, it was stolen from @twinfoxtails and then altered by me, because I’m a lazy piece of shit! :D If you wanna do it, go ahead!

I should probably point out I’m very indecisive so the answers are subject to change from time to time.

Favourite game of all time: Sonic 3 and Knuckles. Sonic 3 was one of the first games I played, and Sonic 3 and Knuckles is just better in every way. Best Story: Persona 5 Royal Favourite Art Style: Sonic Battle or The World Ends With You “I’ll finish it some day”: Final Fantasy VI. It’s a great game, and I know what happens in it for the most part. I’ve just never really managed to beat it, I always got distracted. Big Personal Impact: Undertale. Not a big surprise, huh? Best Combat: Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix. Yes, I know the combat is easy, but I greatly prefer the combat here to KHI and III. And Final Mix adds some new moves, so even better. You like, but everyone hates: Fire Emblem Fates. Almost literally no-one likes it, but I enjoy it well enough and like some of the characters. *side-eyes Camilla, Rinkah and Orochi* You hate, everyone likes: This is a lot easier. I could say Minecraft, but honestly, I think I’m going to say FNAF. I do not like jumpscares, since they’re, honestly, a fairly cheap method of scaring someone. So a game based entirely around them? Yeah, no thanks. Underrated: Metroid Prime Federation Force. Yes, it wasn’t the Metroid Prime game everyone wanted, but it was actually a pretty good game. At the least, a lot more varied than Triforce Heroes. But people just tended to badmouth it since it wasn’t a proper Metroid Prime game. Overrated: Not a huge surprise considering the last one, but FF7. The original, in any case, the remake is a LOT better. Why do I like this?: I dunno. There were a few games like this, but I eventually fell out of them and... can’t really remember them any more. Plus I think it’s for the really weird games that most would say ‘cursed’ upon first sight and I don’t tend to go for those games. Game you always come back to: Splatoon 2, although that may well change, considering Splatoon 3 is on the horizon. Older than that... Soinc 3 and Knuckles. That atmosphere: Undertale. The sections in Waterfall and the True Lab are really tense, for different reasons. And of course, the creepiness that comes when you do a Genocide run. Bad Day Cure: I would LOVE to mention a soft fluffy game, but no, Streets of Rage 2, 3, 4 and Remake are generally where I go when I’ve had a bad day, to work off some stress. Favourite Protagonist: Persona 5 Royal. All I really need to say for that is “Punish me more.” After Work Relaxation: Used to be Animal Crossing New Horizons, but I’ve kinda burnt out on that for now. So I guess... I guess the closest thing I have is Cookie Run Kingdom. Biggest Letdown: Final Fantasy 7, again, the original. After hearing for DECADES people raving about how it’s the best game ever... it was a huge disappointment. Amazingly, I played the other ‘best game ever’ for the first time around the same time, Ocarina of Time... which is a way better game, and still holds up well today. But I digress. ‘Back in the day’ game: Well, when I first got depressed and basically dropped out of school, I watched a lot of House and played a lot of Mega Man Battle Network 2, so... I guess that would count? Other than that, I played a LOT of Pokemon Crystal. “Not the best, but having fun”: Super Mario 64. It’s another game that I played way after it came out, and it is a bit of a mess nowadays. Understandable, since it was basically the first properly 3D platformer. So it’s not the best, but I still have fun with it! Criminally Overlooked: I kinda feel like Metroid Prime Federation Force would go here too, since like I said, most people just passed over it without really giving it a chance. Triforce Heroes got more attention, when that game is a slog in single player, had issues with trolls in multiplayer, and was pretty repetitive when it came down to it. As well as some of the Drabland Challenges being outright OBNOXIOUS. But, I digress again. Depressing game: Zero Escape. Not any of the games specifically, just the Zero Escape series in general. It’s kind of like Homestuck, everyone will die. Multiple times. Favourite Active Franchise: Probably Fire Emblem. Indie Pick: I would normally say ‘Undertale’, but considering I’ve given that as an answer twice, let’s give some other games a chance to shine. ...I can’t pick between them, so Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove, and A Hat in Time. Both are great games, if a little on the short side. Not usually my thing: Team Fortress 2. I’m not a huge fan of FPS games, but Team Fortress 2, even now, still has a charm that many games (*coughOverwatchcough*) are missing.

[veryfantasticstudent]

Cyberpunk for the 21st Century: ONF’s “Sukhumvit Swimming”

If I write about a K-pop group, chances are I have been a fan of them for a while. This is not the case for ONF. M-Net’s Road to Kingdom brought this group to my attention, and though I checked out some of their work it is the sextet’s latest comeback, Spin-Off, hooked me to them. The title track for this mini album is “Sukhumvit Swimming”, a tropical house track with a touch of ONF’s signature heavy synths and guitar. The MV continues ONF’s science fiction-inspired scenarios and hones them down to a particular subgenre (my favourite)—cyberpunk. I wouldn’t label any k-pop concept as through-and-through cyberpunk until now, but “Sukhumvit Swimming” borrows and adds enough to that subgenre to be considered a part of that class of literature. The MV borrows from cyberpunk in spirit and setting but combines them in fascinating new ways.

“Sukhumvit Swimming” by ONF on Woolim Entertainment’s YouTube Channel

Cyberpunk is a subgenre of science fiction that came around in the 1980s and was fascinated by hacker culture. It was was thinking about the Internet, bodily augmentations, AI, mind uploads, all in the setting of dystopian cityscapes were corporates ruled the world. The Cyberpunk archetype is a hacker who uses the oppressive technology of the corporate to figure out the flows of late capital and direct them to his (usually, the protagonists are, unfortunately, male) goal: freedom. The “technology” is generally an Internet-like technology, and hence the “cyber”. The cyberpunk also hacks systems like the cityscape to fight corporate domination. The “punk” came from the rebellious and stylish punk-rocker, and it denotes cyberpunk’s fascination with the power of leather-clad, heavily-mascara-ed punk-pop culture. Neuromancer by William Gibson, Schismatrix by Bruce Sterling, Wetware by Rudy Rucker, and Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner are some works that found the tradition in the West. Altered Carbon by Richard K Morgan, The Matrix, and Westworld kept it alive in later decades. Ghost in the Shell, Akira, PsychoPass, Serial Experiments: Lain are some iconic works from Japan that have pushed boundaries for the subgenre. Amidst its neon landscapes, grubby alleyways, gore, and shiny machinery, cyberpunk asks a simple question: what place do we, humans and individuals, have in this “global village” of money and information? Each cyberpunk finds their own answer, and the city always plays an important role in this discovery.

Wyatt rides a tuk-tuk in cyberspace

So, where is Sukhumvit in “Sukhumvit Swimming”? The only thing remotely related to Thailand in the MV seems to be the tuk-tuk that Wyatt drives through a CGI cyberspace landscape. At first glance, even this is jarring—why would one drive a tuk-tuk through cyberspace? The answer is: why not? “Sukhumvit Swimming” insists on mixing the local with the global. The cyberpunk always stays true to their roots even as they dive into popular culture. Cyberspace, in most cyberpunk, is a visual fest where one can look like whatever they want. If one wants to traverse it with a tuk-tuk, so be it. In a way, all the six settings in the MV are Sukhumvit. They are all a bizarre mix of human-nonhuman, past-future, real-unreal, categories that cyberpunk always confuses to question their boundaries. This confusion allows cyberpunk to figure out, in distinct ways, how an individual’s life is embedded in global capital.

These androids are hella creepy. This sequence seems heavily inspired by Westworld, a cyberpunk work set in an amusement park where artificially intelligent android “hosts” gain sentience and rebel against the abuse that the human guests of the park have practiced on the androids for year.

Each setting of the MV evokes Sukhumvit as a tool, and it is what makes “Sukhumvit Swimming” a clever study of cyberpunk. The first setting is Hyojin’s 1920s American railroad. Whether we are to think of the “people” on board with Hyojin as literal androids or grotesquely mechanised human beings, there are disturbingly few differences between androids and people working like clockwork to their schedules in a metropolis. Our cowboy is different from the rest of the occupants on this train; he is not dressed in the stuffy clothes of these robots—he is a (console?) cowboy, a punk, a rebel. 

Hyojin as the cowboy. 

U, too, seems to be on this train, but he is, well, high. He drinks a bright blue liquid from a glass and things start to swim. With time stopping and MK floating in space, questioning the reality of our disparate, mediate, postmodern existence should not be too difficult for us. In fact, stimulants of various kinds are an integral part of cyberpunk. Apart from their performance-enhancing effects, drugs are always connected to altering/understanding reality much like the technology of the cyberpunk universe. 

Kids, don’t do drugs.

Is the virtual world, where we are all information, more real than our world, where we are just expressions of biology? Is the train that U is on real? The minute U consumes that glass, “reality” is up for grabs[1].

The second major setting of this MV features J-US in the sunburnt ruins of Greek columns and skyscrapers.

J-US’ suburnt world.  Blade Runner 2049 has very similar visuals to this post-apocalyptic world.

This odd, out-of-time combination is another reason why “cyberpunk” jumped to my mind. Cyberpunk likes to juxtapose history with the present times and ask: what is the place of history in a time when technology has skewed our perception of time? The anxiety of technophobes is often that these revered worlds like the cradle of Western Civilisation will be forgotten. The survival of these cultures without context—just stone columns in sunbaked worlds—reminds us of the tyranny of the object. Long after humans are gone (extinct or only alive in a virtual world), these traces of us will be left. Until then, we can only absorb and re-write these monuments into our present alongside the skyscrapers of the capitalist world—much like the pastiche cityscape of Sukhumvit.

E-Tion is on the moon. The moon landing was faked, btw. Or was it?

E-Tion’s moon landing is a particularly strange setting. The others, in one way or another, can be found on earth, but why is E-Tion on the moon? Distance and travel in this MV are unstable concepts. If one can travel through cyberspace in a tuk-tuk, one can definitely grow flowers on the moon. In a patchwork fantasy world (like Sukhumvit), anything is possible. More than that, scale is another notion “Sukhumvit Swimming” is determined to throw in the trash. When virtual worlds are accessible to us through stimulants and technology, the moon is no longer the symbol of extraordinary achievement or emotion (“shoot for the moon,” it is said). Even the moon can be subsumed in the network of capitalism--just ask Elon Musk.

MK really reminds me of the Master here.

The only setting we are now left with is MK’s scenario with the mysterious machine. It could be the machine that is responsible for these strange visions; it certainly looks like the Twelfth Doctor’s time-travelling machine, the TARDIS, from BBC’s Doctor Who. Perhaps it is even one of the machines from The Matrix, that are determined to keep humans as only bio-powered cells for the energy they can provide (bio-powered batteries would not generate enough energy, by the way. That’s one of the flaws in the Wachowskis’ reasoning). Strangely enough, no-one touches the machine; MK disappears from the scene towards the end of the MV, leaving the machine perpetually working. The machine never stops and the dreamers (assuming that there is a particular “real” world) will not wake up—unless, of course, something brings them out of the illusion.

That brings me to the “storyline” of this MV. There is certainly one, mixed within the fantastic shots of this MV. All the members start from different settings but towards the end, they all arrive in the desert that J-US started from. The trigger? Hyojin readies his gun to shoot at J-US in quite a memorable scene:-

I said this MV likes to mess with scale, didn’t I?

Unexpectedly, Hyojin is the one who is shot. All the members snap out of their “illusions” and end up in the desert with J-US. Everyone is dying or has at least passed out, except J-US who has been in this setting since the beginning. The cyberpunks come together, out of their illusion—or perhaps into one. Time unfreezes and Hyojin is nowhere to be seen on the train. Our cyberpunks have lived and fought in the blink of an eye (or rather, the three-odd minutes that the MV lasts) to disappear with no trace. Fast, suave, and unreal, the cyberpunk is gone once the fight is over. But what have they achieved? 

The cyberpunk cityscape is the place for the rebel to explore the strings of corporate domination. In the case of cyberpunk, relations are usually technologies embedded in the logic of capitalism. When ONF creates a temporary Sukhumvit on our screens, they tie together the disparate scenarios of the MV. Now, the hidden relations that linked the moon to a spaghetti Western train and post-apocalyptic world can be read. 

If all the members end up in a dystopian, suntanned terrain, it is because this is where all history leads. “Sukhumvit Swimming” is a slow but certain dive of the world into a spiral of destruction there is no coming back from, a process of the destruction of the world that begins slowly but certainly from the days when human beings began to abuse fossil fuels. The trains, the tuk-tuks, the rockets of “Sukhumvit Swimming” are as much a part of the process as the fireworks that explode in front of E-Tion’s moon.

When the MV ends, Time begins its work again, moving inexorably towards the end. Sukhumvit is a tool to understand how the flows of global capital have isolated humans (and even technology) into our own fantastical worlds, worlds as small as our phone screens, without seeing our connections to the outside world. Our work is to make/find our Sukhumvit, our tool for understanding our place in these networks that seem to mysteriously guide our lives. The cyberpunk has disappeared, but there is someone that still remains: it is you, and your battle has just begun.

[1] Stealing this expression from Cavallaro, Dani. Cyberpunk and Cyberculture: Science Fiction and the Works of William Gibson, pp. 38. 

[maharlika]

1000 words of summer - day 10

1091 words.

oh my god, i can’t believe i have only 4 days left for this challenge. i tried working on my baby bang again, and it’s sort of gone completely sideways but i hope to whip all these words into a coherent fic somehow! in any case, i already hit the 5k minimum, which i’m v pleased about. i just need to...figure out what shape this fic is going to take laksjdlkaj.

today’s snippet comes with a fun fact, which is that i studied environmental science in college and miss ecology a lot.

He found it hard to feign disinterest in Thor’s ambling discussions about the sunlight requirements of plants, about why native trees were so important, about the network of fungi that ran underground across this forest, across possibly dozens of forests through the state.

Loki imagined them down there, the sprawling roots and filaments sending synapses and hormones and food and water back and forth, a whole kingdom thriving under his feet. He wondered at how the body of a mushroom was only the fruit of an organism that he could not see. About roots, and depth, and the way so much of something could be hidden below the surface.

“Mushrooms are fucking creepy,” he said out loud, just to make Thor laugh. 

day 10/14 done 🍄

[enevi]

Shirogane no Oka, Kuro no Tsuki - Volume One

Welcome to Tai Kingdom where terror and hunger reign. The winter is coming and this time many more than before may not survive the cold season for granaries are empty and outsiders are not welcome anywhere. The country is dying slow and painful death.

 Enshi was born in Jou Province and married at eighteen. Had two children. Three years ago her hometown, like many other places, was burned down for harboring the fugitive and many did not survive. Among them was her husband. Survivors were taken in for the winter by the neighboring village but later they had to fend for themselves. So the young widow left with two children to roam the country in hope to find a new place to call home. Last winter she lost her four year old daughter to the cold and hunger and couldn't even bury the girl herself because the frozen ground was too hard to dig into. The one to help her was the man named Kouryou, the wanderer like herself.

 It was almost one year ago and now the three of them: Kouryou, Enshi and her three year old son, Ritsu are roaming the Ten County in Kou Province formerly known for many beautiful temples. Most of them were destroyed for going against the new government, the most famous of them being Zui'un Temple, burned down for questioning the mysterious disappearance of their liege.

 As the night is falling three weary travelers try to find a place to stay in for the night in the small village of Touka, along the county highway but are driven away by the young shepherd as many villages close their gates for the outsiders not wanting extra mouths to feed. Disappointed but relatively calm the wanderers go on to find the place good enough to camp.

  Then in the nearby forest they are suddenly attacked by unknown assailants. Kouryou tells Enshi to run and starts to fight the attackers. She does but slips in the dark and almost falls down the cliff just to be saved by the young man hiding there. Meanwhile the mysterious woman with a flying beast comes to Kouryou's aid and together they are able to win the fight but not for long as the shepherd lurking in the dark takes the young man hostage trying to save his fallen comrades.

  Unexpectedly it turns out that Kouryou knows their savior and it's General Risai, meaning that the one being threatened is Taiki, the Kingdom's missing kirin. Enshi is shocked that her companion not only is used to fighting but just a few years ago was part of the Royal Army. Also, the young shepherd's name is Kyoshi and he's one of the surviving priests that were taken in by Touka's residents after Zui'un Temple massacre. Later it is explained that Enshi and Kouryou were mistakenly attacked because one of the villagers saw two people of flying beasts and they panicked thinking that the government officials discovered survivors whereabouts and were trying to silence the alleged spies.

  Misunderstanding cleared up everyone goes back to the village to rest and talk about everything that happened till now. Kouryou and Kyoshi find out how Risai and Taiki returned to Tai and made to the one provincial palace but as it was too tightly guarded they never made it inside and had to look for the place to get under the Sea of Clouds. Then Risai remembered about the abandoned mountain in Kou Province and so they came here trying to make it to the part of Bun Province where Gyousou was last seen. In turn Kouryou tells them about his last meeting with the King in the city of Rin'u and how he disappeared after he and twenty five of his personal guards left his troops to do 'something' and never met with the troops that were later going the same way. And how he and his superior decided to go dark after getting Risai's message about Asen's betrayal and then getting order to pursue her as the alleged regicide. They made their arrangements but somewhere along the way their communication network broke and Kouryou was left to roam the countryside without any information about his allies. Kyoshi also tells his story about the escape and coming to the Touka village. And how Zui'un survivors never have stopped believing and praying for the safe return of their rightful lieges as the government under Asen's rule almost destroyed the country that is barely hanging on. Their hope doesn't wane even when Taiki admits to having no kirin powers as his horn was cut off, basically being powerless and defenseless. He also tells them that the easiest way to deal with the problem is to kill him as it will result in Gyousou's death (wherever he is) and the birth of the new Tai kirin. Of course no one wants to hear that and everyone assures Taiki that his return alone is miracle itself and will give people the hope they desperately need.

  After planning their next steps and getting enough rest Taiki and Risai leave Touka for Bun Province accompanied by their flying beast (Hi'en and unnamed suugu) and Kouryou and Kyoshi. Just before their departure Enshi and Ritsu come to say good-bye to Kouryou. She know she's supposed to be happy because after years of roaming around the country they finally found new place to live, but deep down she grieves the loss of the companion and protector whom she came to love so dearly during their journey.

  ***

  Meanwhile somewhere in the hidden cellar in Bun Province the orphaned boy takes care of the man who tried to but couldn't save the boy's father from wandering youma and after man's death took the poor lad in. Thus the boy became his son. His warrior. Now the man lies ill, barely conscious and always singing the old and creepy song about the tragic fate of the foot soldier, whose ultimate fate is to be left to crows after dying on the battlefield.

    As Taiki and his companions travel to Rin'u they meet their guide Houto, whose everyday job is to deliver special medicine made by Temple priests and other goods to every citizen in need. Thanks to his wide connections the group can travel undercover and doesn't have to worry about places to sleep. As they make their way to Bun Province Risai and Taiki come face to face with the dire state their homeland fell into and how hopeless their own situation seems to be. Asen rules with iron fist and every resistance no matter how small is punished by death. The people abandoned by their ruler struggle every day just trying to survive and have no time to worry about the king said to be death, let alone thinking about rising against the new government.

  One morning as Risai prepares to leave the city of Sekijou, she discovers that Taiki is gone. Confused and terrified she confronts Kyoshi who tells her that kirin woke him just before the sunrise and announced that he has no time and that Heaven is telling him 'to go'. Doesn't know where to, but feels that it's his duty to obey the will of Gods. And that the others have to continue to search for any clues about Gyousou's whereabouts. Taiki had wanted to go alone knowing Risai would never let him go but Kyoshi begged him to at least let Kouryou accompany him as a guard. Kirin agreed and together they left. At first Risai feels hurt and betrayed but then admits that Taiki was right, because even as knows that the kirin is all grown up, in her heart he still is a child she remembers him to be. And that she has to make peace with the thought that a the envoy of Gods sometimes he has to do the things that others don't understand. But then she starts to worry as Taiki left behind the travel pass (passport?) provided by Youko and has no way to prove his false identity.

    After a few days of silent treatment Kouryou works up the courage to finally confront Taiki about their destination as they're clearly heading toward the capital city of Kouki. And that's not a good place to be. As they rest in the inn after dinner kirin finally admits that the story about the 'will of Heaven' was I lie and yes, Taiki wants not only to go to Kouki but to gain access to Hakkei Palace. And he plans to tell a lie. Lie about Asen being the new King of Tai to regain his position as King's Advisor and use his influence to aid struggling subjects before the winter comes. Taiki also warns Kouryou that the only way to stop him is to tie him up because if left alone he would just mount his suugu and go without his guard, so Kouryou surrenders and so the next day they leave for the capital. When his companion asks how are they suppose to get in, to which Taiki answers "through the Front Gate". Which tells a lot as there are five city gates and the main one is reserved only for the King and his kirin. And so they do.

  As they get arrested and are escorted by the guards Kouryou notices that surprisingly the city hasn't change a lot during his long absence but he still feels that something's not right. His suspicions get confirmed when they do get into the palace but are placed in a prison cell-like room but slightly better furnished. At first Taiki is calm and reassures Kouryou that he expected this kind of treatment as no one sane would just believe just like that that suspicious black-haired lad is the kirin himself. But after a few days of no information he starts to worry. And when they finally convince the servant taking care of them (man named Heichuu) to tell them something they find out that situation in the Palace is much more complicated than any of them suspected.

  First of all, Asen is not running the show and nowadays he spends his time holed up deep within the Inner Palace and rarely shows up. And that in practice the real person in power is chousai Chouun (former Minister of Spring) and his comrades. What's more strange is the fact that no one among the servants knows anything as it's not clear who gives what orders, which are frequently contradicting and so on. The good example being Heichuu himself - getting suddenly transferred and being told to 'take care of the person claiming to be Saiho' with no further instructions.

  As Heichuu describes it "everything is divided and the Court lost its unity". Which comes as no surprise as we see how worked up the courtiers became after Taiki's arrival. No one knows how to check the validity of the visitor's claim as most of the people who knew him before his disappearance are no longer part of the Palace staff. Finally after the long search they find one person - servant named Shouwa, who was one of the maids taking care of Saiho. And after meeting with Taiki she confirms that indeed the young man is the missing kirin of Tai. Unfortunately, the council suspects that either Taiki himself is lying or someone tries to use him against Asen, thus they make no effort to inform him about his new 'position'.

***

    As courtiers are debating what to do the young girl named Yari sends courier bird to someone and then walks up to the man sitting in stable in front of the stall which Keito - Gyousou's mount is in. The man turns out to be Ganchou who was presumed to be missing. There she informs him about Taiki's return and the revelation he brought with him. Ganchou is shocked and doesn't want to believe it but at the same fears the worst - that the rightful King is really dead.

  The others wondering about the current situation are two of Asen's subordinates - Kisen and Hinken. The former was always proud to be the General's man and is worried that Asen withdrawing from others' company is his way of saying that they failed him. Also he always thought that it was Asen who was meant to be the King. Hinken being sort of older brother figure tries to console him.

  ***

 When Risai and her companions finally make it to the Rin'u they head over to the local temple where the priest already knows the purpose of their visit, so they make it their temporary base. At least in the beginning, because it turns out that formerly renowned and beautiful temple transformed into the refugee camp housing the large numbers of people with no place to go. And as any sort of gathering is strictly forbidden the head priest doesn't want to invite unwanted attention from the province officials, therefore he warns Risai about proceeding cautiously because the safety of the people depending on them is temple's main priority. So the group finds the other place to stay as not to be associated with the Temple just in case something went wrong. And in spite of warnings, the young priest who was appointed as their guide, Kiitsu, starts bringing over them some of the refugees that may know something about King's disappearance. As it turns out he's right, because one of them, the young man, tells them the story of his and his brother pursue to see the marching army during the uprising in the Bun Province that took place six years ago.

 As the men climbed the rocks at night to get to the place with a good view they lost their way and accidentally saw Gyousou riding the narrow mountain pass with his guards only for the guards to come back some time later but in less numbers, some of them clearly wounded and with no King in sight. After hearing man's story Risai and other debate about going after their only the only evidence of Gyousou's presence - the bloodstained belt that was supposedly dropped in the vicinity of Mt. Kan'you where precious gemstones could once be found before the source ran dry...

BACK

[shadowron]

Universal Brotherhood: The bugs Bugs BuGS BUGSBUGSBUGS Adventure for Shadowrun (1st Edition). Part 1.

This was one I missed in my earlier articles on the first published adventures for 1st Edition Shadowrun, mostly because I only have vague memories of playing through it when it first came out, and not with my usual gaming group.

But there’s something else that distinguishes it from the rest – it was released as a combination sourcebook and adventure, with two separate printed books with a cardboard cover. 

Where have I seen that exploding volcano before...

This is a format they would use for Native American Nations Volumes 1 & 2 the same year and Paradise Lost (detailing the now independent and non-American Kingdom of Hawai’i), though those were bound in one single book rather than two. It is sad more sourcebooks didn’t do the same. Some later releases had related adventures: Imago (set in Scotland) for London Sourcebook and Celtic Double-Cross (set in Ireland) for Tír na nÓg. But that just makes you purchase a separate sourcebook to run the adventure, which always annoyed me.

Guess it’s all about the nuyen, so ka?

With that in mind, though, there are two disappointing things about this sourcebook/adventure hybrid:

1. It’s not really a sourcebook. Rather, it is a short story along the lines of the “Matrix Born” story that occupied the second half of the 1st edition of Virtual Realities. Don’t get me wrong – both are great examples of game fiction. But this was supposed to be about the Universal Brotherhood organization, 3rd person style with occasional in-game comments that had become the norm. There’s information you could sift out to use to flesh out your own story on the UB, but even that is sparse enough you just may as well make it up yourself.

If you really wanted to set up the creepiness of the Brotherhood, then write it up like they did for Lone Star and Aztlán. Both of which needed and deserved published adventures (that’s a different post). But the set-up was fragged anyway, since…

2.  They let the bug out of the cocoon too early, metaplot-wise. If you want the reveal of the Universal Brotherhood really being a front for the emergence of Insect spirits, then we need more than a year, both in and out of game, to do that. We need UB to be set up as this shiny do-gooder group that pops up from time to time in adventures and materials so that the ultimate payoff hits us like a cyberspur to the datajack.

Instead, we get a handful of mentions in Seattle Sourcebook and even London Sourcebook before the chrysalis is removed and, yup, it’s full of bugs.

Really feel bad about that baby.

Also lessening the impact is that Universal Brotherhood was released not long after Queen Euphoria, which also dealt with insect spirits. More on that later.

And I know they could have done it – look at the Renraku AI/Deus plot thread that ran from the beginning of 1st edition (rumors in Seattle Sourcebook and in more detail in the novel Never Deal With A Dragon) through Renraku Arcology Shutdown, The Network (Threats 2), Otaku (Virtual Realities 2.0, aka, the reason they ditched the Program Carrier cyberware), and finally the very destruction of the Matrix in the 3rd edition finale System Failure.

But like I said – the material itself in the sourcebook portion is excellently written by the late Nigel Findley, a powerhouse of both D&D and Shadowrun as well as, well, most other RPGs.

Onto the adventure!

[shadows-twilight]

RWBY Volume 7, Chapter 1

What is up, FNDM!!! At long last we are back with an all new volume of RWBY, and thus I am back to gush about it! Let's just jump right in with my thoughts and opinions on Chapter 1 of RWBY Volume 7, "The Greatest Kingdom"

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW:

I swear, the moon gets prettier and prettier every volume. This opening shot is incredible.

When we heard his one line in the trailer, I was blown away with how little I could tell that Qrow had a new voice actor, even though I was listening for it. Now that we get to hear more of it, the differences are admittedly starting to stand out a bit more. That being said, I don't think it will take long at all to get used to it, andJason Liebrecht is still doing an amazing job. I certainly look forward to his performance moving forward.

Looks like I was right in the finale in that the lower area is Mantle. I must say, it looks amazing. Everything about it just looks so dirty and industrial, definitely what I would imagine for the slums of the technological giant that is Atlas. Major kudos to CRWBY for this setting design.

Ooh, both Ironwood and Winter get new outfits. They look good, though something about Ironwood's beard looks off to me. Maybe I'm just not used to it, but something about the shading makes it look photoshopped on. Maybe it'll look better in the future.

Decided to pause on the newsboard that the purple haired dude is looking at, and I must say, while there isn't a lot there, what can be made out is...foreboding. The bottom middle headline I believe says "Outer Wall Damaged" which certainly seems like it will be important later, while the one to its left seems to be an opinion piece on the dust embargo. The standouts, however, are the top two. The first on the left talks about a journalist being found dead (always a good sign in politically charged climates) while the one on the right talks about an upcoming council election. Specifically, it talks about a "Mantle Hometown Hero" (whom I am assuming to be the woman on all of the posters that looks like she wouldn't look out of place in The Dragon Prince) going up against an "Atlesian Tycoon." Five Lien on who THAT could possibly be. Are Team RWBY and Friends going to have to go up against Jacques in a political arena? Because that could get pretty interesting.

I'd say that drone was too cute to die the way it did, but quite frankly it was far too funny for me to muster up that much compassion.

Yeesh, our first look at the Faunus Dust Miners, and it is not a pretty sight. Or maybe it's just the drunk asshole spouting casual racism. Either way, it's an ugly sight.

Thank you Weiss. We were all thinking it, put the trash where it belongs.

So did the drunk with the blue beanie know who they were? I feel like that was what he was trying to say before he decided to eat shit.

I don't know who the mouse Faunus girl was that exited the clinic, and we'll probably never see her again, but she was adorable as hell and I feel like that deserved mentioning.

Hmm, a robotics technician that resides in Atlas, has similar hair style and skin tone to the guy we cut to when Penny died, and is currently wearing a pink bow tie? Yeah, no idea who this is.

I love his chair. That is all.

"Days Since Last Nonsense: 0" I like the added touch of 'nonsense' being written down the side where room ran out.

If we never get to see Nora try Pietro's dancing shoes, this entire volume will be considered a waste.

So, seeing how incredibly obvious it is as to who this Pietro guy is, did anyone else perk up a bit when he referred to his daughter in present tense?

Hehe, convenient-reveal-delaying Grimm attack is conveniently-reveal-delaying

I see the Atlesian are as useless as always.

This score sounds like it's based on a song we'll be getting later, but even if it isn't I am loving it all the same

Even though his pose was completely different, when Oscar stabbed the Sabre Grimm in the head, it reminded me of Scrooge Mcduck's pogo attack in the old Ducktales game.

And there it is. The major even that they have been teasing us about for months, the big Vol 7 premiere surprise, the one, the only PENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited to see our precious robot girl back! Now all we need is Pyrrha and I will be happy once more

Let's face it Ruby, any other greeting simply would not have done this reunion justice.

Plus side, the status of RWBY redheads just got a lot less endangered.

"We have so many things to catch up about" Oh, Penny, you have no idea.

Dangit, Qrow, you had to jinx it, didn't you. I mean, I guess that's pretty on brand for you, but still.

These Ace-Ops guys certainly seem...colorful (despite most of them wearing the standard boring Atlas white color palette). I'm particularly interested in who I'm assuming is the leader, who the credits name Clover Ebi. I don't know who or what his character allusion is, but I feel like him being covered in stereotypical good luck charms is a sign.

Woohoo! New intro time! Just like last time, there's a lot to unpack here, so let's get into it

-The opening silhouettes remind me a lot of the original trailers, and quite frankly I love it for that. Not sure how I feel about the more pastel color pallet, though. -The shot of Team RWBY flying through the sky and shifting throughout all of their main outfits? A stroke of genius. -They seem to have updated Yang's semblance effect from the Bees vs Adam fight. It looks amazing and I love it. -Ironwood alone in a dark war room certainly doesn't seem ominous-Hmm, now the Ace-Ops guys get there own silhouette portraits? I am certainly interested in getting to know these guys. -When we zoom out on Watts's computer, alongside the Ace-Ops we see something to do with Mantle's security network as well as an election map. This election is definitely looking like it's going to be a main focal point of this volume. -Nothing too special here, just a few character shots, a silhouette of Tyrian looking creepy, Ironwood looking angry and sad (though the effect of the snow and ice consuming him is interesting),  Jacques and Whitley looking smarmy, Weiss and Winter looking at each other (their facial expressions are certainly telling of what their relationship is going to be like this volume), Pietro and Maria, a group shot of Teams RWBY, Team JNR, and Oscar, and of course, Penny looking adorable. -Now that we're getting to see it in motion, I must admit that Jaune's new haircut doesn't look too bad. Also, I noticed his shield now incorporates hard light dust. I wonder if it just widens his shield a little or if it will manifest in other ways as well. -When the Mantle citizen threw a rock at the hologram of Ironwood, it briefly flickered to Jacques. That's concerning. -The action scenes are a lot of fun, with Oscar training with Ironwood, and Weiss and Blake in the dust mines, but the really interesting one is the Mantle Hero and Qrow going up against Tyrian. I wonder if Qrow knows her. -The group shot at the end is very My Hero Academia and I absolutely love it. -Wow, even Qrow gets a new outfit. It only took him twenty years. -Ooh, a brief look at the Relic of Creation. I admit, I was hoping that the relics would each have different color schemes, like having all of them be gold is fine, but I was slightly hoping where the Relic of Knowledge was blue, the Relic of Creation would be maybe green and the Relic of Destruction would be red, or something like that. Still looks cool though -There was not a single hint of Cinder or Neo in the opening, and that somewhat worries me.

Hehe, credits humor "Drunk Mann played by Joel Mann" Ah, once again, RWBY shows that it knows how to come out the gate swinging. They've set up a lot of interesting things in this first episode, and I can not wait to see how it all plays out.

[another-dnd-campaign]

Session 0 - Prolog

Ila Jahar:

A very promising, young Curator, sent to acquire a magical artifact in an insignificant village named Ashburn.

[Curator: A sub section of the Harper organization, tasked with locating, removing or destroying potential dangerous artifacts from those who seek to abuse their powers]

She just got lucky with a lead when the organization decided to send Lancroft and Devon fucking Valorheart as backup. Ila was not too happy about their decision but this artifact had to be something very important to them. She had to get her hands on it before they did.

Unfortunately, Seeki Lancroft had arrived a day early. Just in time to join Ila's meeting with her informants. They were waiting in the warehouse when another message arrived, this time from Bast, her mentor.

"Don't trust the agent. Seeki is dead"

Ila did not have the time to react before a knife was planted between her ribs.

[Seeki Lancroft: The daughter of a powerful magister in Valantis and a well known Prima Donna. A reckless mage and a Harper

Bast: Bastion Orvan, former Harper and Curator. Suspect the organization of being corrupt and work in secret to expose them]

____

Devon Valorheart:

A newly promoted Inquisitor in the Harper organization. Son of the infamous Knight Commander Elyssa Valorheart and not very happy to travel to the neighboring kingdom Aldris to clean up another agents mess.

[Harper: A former desentralized, grassroot organization consisting of lone operatives all over the world. The western branch however, have turned into a somehow secret network, lead by the High Harpers and fueled by many rich anonymous patreons. They still operate in secret and outside any law.

Inquisitor: A sub section of the Harper organization. Their task is to root out traitors and spies and dispose of them]

He was sure this was some kind of punishment for the two taverns that burned down. He arrived earlier than expected and got the message from the innkeeper where Ila was heading.

____

Rivera Dacascus & Sybella:

Far away from the coast of Bellenau and far away from home, Rivera and her relatively newly found friend, Sybella, followed Riveras' patreon; Vardo, a tressym that only talked Sylvan, inward trough the mainland. Partly looking for a way to get him home and partly running away from their own, former lives. Vardo led the girls further and further away from the sea, Nibras, and towards the Aldorian Forest.

[Bellenau: A growing, costal city plagued with piracy and new money. One of the more safe docking choices in the area.

Prince Vardo Meoita: Former fae trapped as a tressym and exiled from the feywild.

Nibras: Home of the very territorial and xenophobic triton tribe that worships the Wavemother, Umberlee. It's located by an underwater vulcano.]

After spending a night by some creepy, haunting ruins and in need of living expenses, they came over a request for any information on abnormal happenings in a bar and decided to make some presumably easy money.