#Coulaincourt

[nunc2020]

Bowie à Saint Vincent

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Silliest and gayest Napoleon fun fact?

oh man... hard to pick

I feel like it's the one everyone knows which is that, according to Meneval, Napoleon had a penchant for taking running leaps into the laps of friends/secretaries/people he liked**.

Also, this bit from Meneval**: “[Napoleon] would come and sit on the corner of my desk, or on the arm of my armchair, sometimes on my knees. He would put his arm around my neck and amuse himself by gently pulling my ear.”

There's also the one, that I feel is also pretty well known, which is in Cronin's biography**:

Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. 'He told me,' says Coulaincourt, '...that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind: nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I lean nameless.' The feeling Napoleon described as 'a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability...the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation.'

**insert obligatory disclaimer about early modern/into early 19th century male friendships and homo-social relations being far more intimate and physical in their expression than they are in modern north american and/or #Western Society etc. etc.

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Not quite on topic, but I am often amused whenever I think about Napoleon ribbing Cambaceres about his love-life and that one story where Napoleon hauled everyone out of bed at ass-o'clock in the morning for Empire Reasons. Cambaceres was late to this impromptu meeting and when he arrived Napoleon apparently said something like, “When your emperor calls for you, Cambacérès, you must tell your pretty ladies to put their trousers back on, take up their canes and be off”. 

Relatedly, that letter from Napoleon to Josephine where Napoleon writes: “is it true the First Chancellor is in love? you might have given me a hint”.

Napoleon being like: babe. babe. you need to tell me the Deetz. i ne eed..,, them. for Reasons. babe. babe. you can't leave hanging. babe.

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thank you for the ask!! :D :D

[histokritiker-blog]

Interview des Monats - Mit Napoléon in der Métro

Heute schicken wir unseren Elch Sture ausnahmsweise einmal in die Großstadt. Und zwar nicht im Fahrstuhl, sondern in der Pariser Métro. Ein Teufelswerk, das bei Touristen dank fehlender Lichtschranke für allerlei blaue Flecken sorgt, wenn sie nicht schnell genug alle Gliedmaßen in die Wagons bekommen. Stures heutiger Gast ist denn auch niemand geringeres als unser aller Lieblingsfranzose Napoléon Bonaparte.

S: versucht Napoléon schnellstens zu folgen, der bereits in die U-Bahn vorprescht Warten Sie, Monsieur l’Empereur! Halten Sie die Türe offen, ich bin gleich da! Es ist nur ein kleiner Schritt…

N: ändert schlagartig die Gesichtsfarbe Unterstehen Sie sich! Ich steige doch nicht in solch eine enge Blechbüchse, nur um mir wieder Spott über meine Körpergröße anzuhören! Immerhin war es mein Einfall, Sie auf die Reise meiner größten Erfolge mitzunehmen! (murmelt plötzlich vor sich hin) Warum spreche ich überhaupt mit einer nordischen Kuh mit Geweih? (räuspert sich) Hätten Sie nicht eine Ihrer Generalinnen schicken können? Ich habe mir sagen lassen, dass die Frauen in den deutschen Gebieten auch in den letzten 200 Jahren meiner Abwesenheit nichts an ihrer Schönheit verloren haben!

S: verdreht kurz die Augen Ich bin mir nicht so sicher, ob meine Chefinnen auf solches Süßholzraspeln hereinfallen würden. Sie sind angehende Historikerinnen, müssen Sie wissen. Und sie können lesen. Immerhin gibt es da… nun ja… Gerüchte, Sie wären eher ein… unterdurchschnittlicher… Liebhaber… gewesen… (Anmerkung d. Red.: Es gibt Berichte, dass eine gelangweilte Geliebte des Kaisers gern die Uhren während eines Schäferstündchens vorgestellt hat, um den Liebhaber in seiner Ehre zu bestätigen, aber auch, um ihn schnellstens wieder loszuwerden.)

N: sieht alles andere als kaiserlich aus und schiebt trotzig die Unterlippe vor Haben Sie noch nie etwas davon gehört, dass die Engländer mir wann immer es möglich war die hanebüchensten Geschichten andichten wollten? Nein? Sehe ich etwa so aus als ob ich nur 1,50m groß wäre? Ich bin größer! Ich bin ein großer Feldherr gewesen! Einer der Besten, den die Geschichte jemals gesehen hat! Sehen Sie doch endlich! Hier! (zeigt voller Stolz auf den Métroplan) Die Franzosen, mein geliebtes Volk, sie haben mich niemals vergessen und mir gar die schönsten ihrer U-Bahn-Stationen gewidmet. Jeden Tag reisen die Menschen auf meinen Pfaden.

S: Das macht Sie sichtlich stolz, wie mir scheint. Aber meinen Sie tatsächlich, dass die vielen Berufspendler, Schüler und Touristen überhaupt wissen, was hinter den jeweiligen Métro-Stationen für Geschichten stecken?

N: Naturellement! Sicherlich! Sie haben doch alle von ihrem wunderbaren Kaiser Napoléon gehört. Schauen Sie zum Beispiel hier. Sehen Sie? Auf jeder großen Linie gibt es mindestens einen Hinweis auf meine Zeit.

S: zeigt sich erstaunt Tatsächlich. Vor allem auf den Hauptrouten kommt man nicht an der Geschichte vorbei. Alle Stationen können wir zwar nicht gemeinsam abfahren. Aber hier: Erinnern Sie sich noch an Rivoli?

N: Ah, Sie meinen die Station Louvre-Rivoli? (schwelgt sichtlich in Erinnerungen) Damals, 1797 in Italien.

S: hustet kurz Die Damen Generalinnen mögen das Wort „damals“ überhaupt nicht. Ist so eine Historiker-Macke…

N: guckt leicht verwirrt Ah bon, wenn Sie meinen. Wenn es den deutschen Demoiselles besser behagt, dann sage ich lieber „à cette époque-là“.

S: Deutlich besser. Fahren Sie fort.

N: Es war eine grandiose Zeit, 1797. Wir befanden uns noch in den Koalitionskriegen nach der Französischen Revolution. Wir hatten die widerlichen Habsburger aus Italien verscheucht. Jedenfalls aus jenem Teil, welcher für die französischen Zwecke interessant sein mochte. Und bei Rivoli habe ich es geschafft, mit meinen Truppen ein großes österreichisches Heer zu schlagen. Sie waren zahlenmäßig überlegen. Aber ich war gewitzter!

S: Sieh an.

N: Und in Campoformido mussten die Österreicher dann einen Friedensvertrag mit uns schließen. Die Franzosen tun gut daran, mit der Station Campo-Formio daran zu erinnern. Doch das sollte nicht das letzte Mal gewesen sein, dass ich die Habsburger vorgeführt habe. Schauen Sie hier. (deutet wieder auf den Métroplan) 1809 schlug ich sie in Wagram erneut. Doch nun als Kaiser. Und der österreichische Kaiser musste den Frieden mit mir eingehen. Gleichzeitig versuchte er, sich Privilegien zu erkaufen, indem er mir seine Tochter zur Frau gab. Marie-Louise war meine zweite Frau. Weniger hässlich als erwartet, doch hätte ich lieber die jüngste Schwester von Zar Alexander geheiratet. Aber das wollte der Griesgram nicht.

S: guckt etwas dumm aus der Wäsche, immerhin hatte er gedacht über des Kaisers Frauengeschichten hinweggekommen zu sein Ähm ja. Und hier? Wir sind doch eben an der Station „Pyramides“ vorbeigekommen. Was fällt Ihnen dazu ein?

N: strafft die Schultern und scheint wieder ganz General Das war in Ägypten. Ein Jahr später als der Italienfeldzug. Wir waren dort auf Expedition mit einigen Wissenschaftlern. Sie forschten, wir füllten die Staatskassen. Und dann trafen wir auf die Mameluken. Sie hatten keine Chance. Und da wir die Pyramiden von Gizeh im Hintergrund hatten, wurde die Schlacht als „Bataille des Pyramides“ bekannt.

S: Die Pyramiden von Gizeh? Waren die nicht noch 10km weg?

N: brummelt vor sich hin Gehörnte nordische Kühe sollte man nach England ausweisen… Ah hier! Endlich! Sehen Sie! Meine Lieblingsstationen kommen! Iéna! Und die Gare d’Austerlitz! Ja, da haben Sie nichts mehr zu lachen, Sie alter Preuße! Wahrscheinlich habe ich dort 1806 auch gegen Ihren Ururururururgroßvater zu Felde gewonnen!

S: Eher nicht. Wir leben erst in dritter Generation in Norddeutschland. Aber wo wir gerade bei Kriegen waren. Wie stehen Sie dazu, dass nicht nur Sie, sondern auch ihre Generäle mit Stationen geehrt wurden?

N: Die Linie 6 macht mich immer leicht nostalgisch. Das ist wahrscheinlich der Korse in mir, der dort wieder zum Vorschein kommt. Wissen Sie, General Jean-Baptiste Kléber [Station Kléber, Anm. d. Red.] war einer meiner fähigsten Männer. Er kämpfte mit mir unter anderem in Ägypten. Er war ein kluger Stratege.

S: Ich dachte, er hatte den Prit-Stift erfunden…

N: Sie Banause! Kléber hat doch nichts mit Klebstoff zu tun! Genauso wenig mein treuer Freund Pierre Cambronne [Station Cambronne, Anm. d. Red.]. Er war ein fähiger General. Seine Treue ging so weit, dass er mich gar in das Exil nach Elba begleitete. Auch in der schwersten Stunde, in Waterloo, ließ er mich nicht allein. Genauso wie Armand de Coulaincourt [Station Lamarck-Coulaincourt, Linie 12, Anm. d. Red.].

S: Coulaincourt? Hatte der wirklich solche komischen Koteletten wie im ZDF gezeigt wurde?

N: schockiert Was ist denn ein ZDF?

S: Ach, das ZDF hat 2002 zusammen mit anderen europäischen TV-Sendern in einer Gemeinschaftsproduktion Ihr Leben verfilmt. Armand Coulaincourt wird da von Heino Ferch gespielt. Und der trägt, um es freundlich auszudrücken, ziemlich hässliche Backenbärte. Aber bevor Sie sich weiter erzürnen, Sie wurden gar vortrefflich dargestellt. Christian Clavier, genauso wie Sie stattliche 1,68m groß und seines Zeichens eigentlich Darsteller in allerhand Komödien, hat Sie verkörpert.

N: Ein Komiker!? Wie können Sie es wagen!? Sie… Sie… Ich gebe Ihnen gleich Komiker!

EIN KNALL!

N: Was… was war das?

Die Türe des Métrowagons schnellen auf. Sture streckt vorsichtig den Kopf hinaus und schaut sich um. Sie müssen wohl in ein Schwarzes Loch gekommen sein. Paris ist das hier nicht mehr. Niemals würden die Franzosen dies ihrem alten Kaiser antun. Die jetzige Métro-Station „Waterloo“ gibt es doch nur in Brüssel.

[designforsocialimpact]

Workshop Week

There is a special week at PCA in the spring semester dedicated to a unique learning experience. Its a time when art kids kick it around with storytelling, digital play, paint, future designing for a whole week. No grades, no obligations. Just fun learning. 

Since I don't have a class this Monday, I'm out and about with a friend whose come to Paris to visit. I want to show him the place where I did a bookbinding apprenticeship at Listel Or near the metro Lamarck-Coulaincourt. We join up with a free tour through Montmartre and learn about the hot spots beyond Moulin Rouge, taste a baguette "traditional" and end up at the top of Sacre Couer looking out over the city.

Tuesday Rica and I signed up for a workshop called "Storytelling: Sherlock Holmes and the Internet of Things." Alexis, the facilitator, shares with us a storytelling prototype from Columbia University's Digital Storytelling Lab. We set up a crime scene, then enhance it with clue cards (featuring augmented reality HP reveal) and then trade with another group to finally solve the mystery. Our mystery ends up being a hilarious dramatic death and Rica and I pretend to be twins. Back in the classroom we extrapolate one of the clues into a future technology idea. Our idea is to make a brooch that projects a holographic butterfly. This butterfly would provide useful info to children so that they can be autonomous but stay in a safe zone and catch messages from mom. 

Tuesday afternoon I do a photo shoot of a collection of folded paper models I made in for a 3D fabrication class. I've been folding paper for the past couple of weeks so I'm grateful to finish this project and put together an end-of-year booklet for it. Here's a sample of some of the folds.

From Wednesday to Friday our class participates in a workshop hosted by a team called the Normal Normals. They are a duo studio from Berlin/Paris that build speculative design ideas. Speculative design? That's right. The team goes to the moon with all kinds of ideas dreamed up for prototypes. Jelly bags for sea turtles, happy face masks to avoid facial recognition, trucks that deliver a farming experience. It's wild in room 102. We trash the space, build all kinds of prototypes and set up props amidst snacks. Friday the whole revolution is filmed live on youtube. It's a skit show featuring ideas, props and a lot of acting. Check out the video here called Streaming the Future.

Sunday is Earth Day so Amy and I meet up at Gare de Lyon and take the train out to Fontainbleu with some friends. We walk straight into the forest from the train station and enjoy a long hike in the sunny weather. There are tons of little bugs, and perfect baby acorns and we even collect a bit of moss for a side project I have in mind. 

The best part of this week is that spring is full on strong. The sun is bright, people are smiling and there's a nice breeze in the air. The wisterias on my windowsill are in full bloom and it is gorgeous in Paris right now. We finally get some good sun and everything is warming up. Happy Spring!

[art-jairo]

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec Gaston Bonnefoy 1891 Óleo sobre cartón.  71 x 37 cm @museothyssen En 1891, en una carta a su madre, Toulouse-Lautrec escribía: «Acabo de terminar el retrato de Gaston Bonnefoy y voy a comenzar el de Louis (Pascal). Espero que no sean demasiado feos». El artista se refiere a la serie de retratos de personajes masculinos de pie que presentó en el Salon des Indépendants en el mes de marzo del mismo año. En todos ellos Lautrec trata de enfatizar la verticalidad de las figuras sobre el desnudo interior de su estudio de la rue Coulaincourt, y nos acerca a un nuevo tipo de retrato reflejo de la vida moderna al estilo de los escritos de Baudelaire. En este retrato del médico Gaston Bonnefoy de la colección Thyssen-Bornemisza, la silueta de su amigo, asiduo acompañante del pintor entre 1883 y 1899, se recorta sobre un fondo neutro y abocetado. Vestido de calle con un abrigo largo, bastón y sombrero hongo, como si acabara de llegar o se dispusiera a salir después de una visita, Lautrec le convierte, como ha señalado Richard Thomson, en un prototipo de « boulevardier masculino, próspero, sexualmente independiente, acorde al mundo moderno». Algunos autores han relacionado el bastón colocado en horizontal con un símbolo fálico, en una posible alusión a su promiscuidad sexual. (en Museo Nacional Thyssen-Bornemisza) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBPGElIjdne/?igshid=1gzimjbcin5jx

[urbanmishmash]

Montmartre Cemetery: An oasis of serenity in Paris

Montmartre Cemetery (Le cimetière du Montmartre) is a little haven of peace from the bustling streets of Pigalle and Montmartre that overshadow it. Visiting the final resting places of the famous is quite fulfilling for some. And, there are indeed quite a few famous men and women who lie under the decorated and undecorated gravestones of this cemetery. But it perhaps feels more surreal and rewarding to observe life and nature take its course around its more obscure occupants. So many stories can be imagined between the two dates that earmark their lifetime on earth. Reminders of love and loss, some recent and some faded, lie engraved in these stones. Crumbling graves of those forgotten are claimed by the wilderness, moss and ivy draping them in lovely shades of green.

Take a long, unhurried walk through the narrow alleys and listen to the slow rustling of fallen leaves. Isn’t it a luxury to spend some time and appreciate the small joys and sorrows of our life? We take so much for granted in the rush of getting somewhere and doing something. It is a humbling experience to spend a few moments slowing down, getting lost, ambling along these small pathways that welcome death and new life alike.

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Practical Information

Where: Montmartre Cemetery, 20 Avenue Rachel, 75018 Paris

Good to know, trivia and other details about the Montmartre Cemetery

Montmartre Cemetery opened on January 1, 1885, and is the third largest necropolis in Paris after Père-Lachaise and Montparnasse cemeteries. The Montmartre cemetery was built over an abandoned quarry the site of which had previously been used as a mass grave during the French Revolution. A beautiful blue wrought iron bridge, the Pont du Coulaincourt, passes over the 11-hectare span of the cemetery.

For those looking to visit the famous graves, a map is available at the entrance. Among others, the cemetery is the final resting place for Dalida (singer), Alexandre Dumas (playwright and novelist), Adolphe Sax (inventor of saxophone), Charles Henri Sanson (executioner of Louis XVI), Louise Weber (La Goulue, can-can dancer), Edgar Degas and Gustave Moreau (painters).

Sidenotes and recommendations

Bring a book, notebook or a scribble pad. Ignore the cellphone for a while. During my time here, I ached to re-read Neil Gaiman’s outrageously fantastic The Graveyard Book. Also, don’t hesitate to get lost and take the small alleys.

  The post Montmartre Cemetery: An oasis of serenity in Paris appeared first on URBAN MISHMASH | Paris.

from URBAN MISHMASH | Paris https://www.urbanmishmash.com/paris/city-guide/montmartre-cemetery/

[mariana-iracheta]

2 square coulaincourt.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

omg I want to know, how were the Napoleon Queer Wars of 2014 like?? 😬

oh lord lol

It's been almost ten years and I still get weird YIKES reaction in my skin when I think about it, or when people in the current Napoleonic corner act a bit like the people from back then. Which is a me issue, and not anyone else's problem. But it is why I don't really engage with anyone from the Napoleonic side of tumblr anymore - too many bad memories and bad taste in my mouth.

Essentially, someone posted the (in)famous Cronin quote re: Napoleon telling Coulaincourt about the Feelings He Gets When Looking At Someone Handsome Friend Shaped. They speculated about queer* implications of this.

--

*necessary disclaimer about modern concepts of sexuality not being applicable to the past yadda yadda yadda. I'm using short hand here, folks. No one needs to jump down my throat.

--

A bunch of the Very Serious History Blogs(tm) came down hard on them being like "you're a fool, absolutely not, Napoleon was Straight(tm)". Someone else replied being like "Well what about That Letter from N to Josie concerning a Certain Tsar of Russia?"

I forget how That Letter was explained away, but it was.

Some name calling nonsense and really aggresive replies where bandied back and forth. People were passive aggresive and mean. People ignored each other then wrote vagueing posts about it. The usual damned foolishness you would expect.

Then someone else referenced that one book whose whole thesis is basically Napoleon was Probably Bi. The book, I will say, isn't great. I'd never recommend it. But it was floating around in the 2014/15 world of Napoleonic Tumblr.

And oh man was the person who suggested it torn to shreds. Eviscerated. It was like watching a train wreck and the by standers decided to lock the doors of the train and not let the passengers off while everything burned.

There were weird spin-off dramas from this nonsense where people got into whether or not being interested in Napoleon made you a war crime sympathizer. (Some things never change on this webbed site.) Messy, messy. Also, utterly dumb.

Anyway - it ended up weirdly boiling down to two sides: Are You A Serious Historian/Take History Seriously(tm) Therefore Anti-Napoleon Possibly Being Something Like Queer Even If Never Acted On versus People Having Fun(tm) on the Internet Who Now Have Their Backs Up and Are Responding Perhaps Unwisely.

There was a third party, which I was part of at that time** (no longer, since I left academia), which was the "We Do Real History As A Day Job, Because We Are In Academia, but Lol Like Hell Would I Think to do Serious History on the Blue Hell Site. I'm Present for Shits and Giggles and Idle Speculation and Chats. Nothing Here is Serious. Everyone Needs To Calm Down and Take Themselves Way Less Seriously." We were a small contingent, to say the least.

--

**this is not to say I didn't walk away with egg on my face. Because I did. My comportment wasn't great and it's something I've been trying to be better about ever since.

It's not a time I think anyone save like four Napoleonic-interested blogs can look back on without blame.

--

But yeah - it was a real bad time on here. People were called names and cruel, cruel messages were sent to various and sundry by various and sundry. People deactivated over it. Friendships were literally torched because of it. There was a lot of issues with: "What Is Tone When Jumping On Someone's Post?? We don't know how to gauge it! Are you being mean? Are you being helpful? Who knows!! But you sounded aggresive in your add on and so I had better respond aggressively as well."

All because some people took themselves too seriously and because other people were stupidly mean about something dumb.

If I sometimes come in really strong with five million disclaimers in my napoleon asks/responses, even just the silly, purely speculative ones that no one sensible expects Real Serious History to result from - questions that clearly fall into the camp of shit a friend would ask you at the bar after four pints - things like: "was he queer? do you think he had add/adhd? what do you speculate were mental health issues he may have had?" etc. it's because of this year/year-and-a-half shit show. (And my disclaimers don't always serve their purpose because this is, after all, the Piss on the Poor website and people lack attention to detail when reading. [That said, I'm just as guilty of it as well, so can't point too many fingers.])

anyway, the long and short is that MAN people were very anti-any idea that there might have been an iota of what we would term queerness in Napoleon. And MAN no one can be normal on this site about anything so of course there was unnecessary drama and hurt feelings and bitterness.

May we never repeat this stupid time.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

love that naps is sort of a fandom bicycle (granted the whole era is named after him but still)

everyone's gotta ride him at least once.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

“He would take running leaps into people’s laps.” from a post you made of facts about napoleon, this is so cute, where’s the source from?

I want to say it was Meneval’s memoir that I read that in. Either him or Coulaincourt - but I’m placing my money on Meneval.

[nunc2020]

Rue Coulaincourt le 25 décembre

[nunc2020]

Undine Gruenter (1952 bis 2002)

Au rêve, Rue Coulaincourt

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Thinking about how Naps and Josephine would occasionally jokingly gossip in their letters about Cambaceres’ romantic life. Cambaceres, as we all know, was openly gay

Cambacérès definitely liked the men. 

And yeah, Napoleon did love to gossip about everyone’s love lives. All were of equal opportunity for teasing. For Cambacérès, I only know of letter where Napoleon writes Josephine “is it true the First Chancellor is in love? you might have given me a hint”. But I believe Napoleon ribbed Cambacérès more generally about whoever he was currently in love with (especially considering the man’s track record with other friends and coworkers). 

Cambacérès: He is the light of my day - 

Napoleon: He’s ugly and boring. You can do better. 

Cambacérès: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, sire. 

Napoleon: Do. Better. 

Cambacérès: Just because he’s not in uniform -

Napoleon: I think a man looks nothing without regimentals. 

Cambacérès: We know, sire. 

There was that anecdote about the time Cambacérès was late to a midnight meeting (Napoleon had hauled everyone out of bed for Empire reasons) and Napoleon said something like “When your emperor calls for you, Cambacérès, you must tell your pretty ladies to put their trousers back on, take up their canes and be off”. 

I do think it funny, in some of the older biographies that make note of Constant’s, Laure Junot’s, Coulaincourt’s etc. comments on Napoleon’s tendency to get a little doe-eyed around handsome men (in uniform) - they really like to pull in Napoleon’s ribbing of Cambacérès as a way to attempt to “no homo” Napoleon. 

Indeed, quite a few position this in such a manner as to attempt to show Napoleon’s disgust with Cambacérès which I think is a manifestly wrong interpretation of the exchanges. 

First, it ignores that Napoleon ribbed (sometimes rather harshly) everyone about their love lives. 

Second, it misrepresents what I take to be a clearly teasing tone. Napoleon wasn’t subtle if he was disgusted with someone. That’s never present in any of his interactions with Cambacérès. It’s only ever just light (by Bonaparte standards) teasing and ribbing. 

Napoleon’s jesting in his letters, and in these anecdotes, places Cambacérès as part of the grand Bonaparte tradition of gossiping like an old fish wife about who everyone is sleeping with. Something Napoleon generally saved for people he genuinely liked. God bless. 

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Sort of. More or less yes. He (maybe) said to Coulaincourt that when he saw certain handsome men in uniforms it gave him butterflies in his stomach (he phrased it differently but I believe that was the essential gist of it)

last night when attempting to sleep i had a bat shit idea pop in my head. ghost lannes who just sort of hangs around napoleon judging all his bad choices reacting to napolington

Lannes would have OPINIONS about Napolington. He'd ghost prank the living shit out of Wellesley and would call Napoleon a Little Whore via spooky writing on mirrors in the hallway.

Some Random Person: Aren't you scared of the creepy ghost that is in your house?

Ghost!Lannes: HE'S JUST A LITTLE SLUT. A SLUT FOR HANDSOM MEN IN UNIFORMS.

Napoleon: I'd say I'm more mildly annoyed and wish it would shut the fuck up for once.

Ghost!Lannes: SHAN'T.

Ghost!Lannes and Bertrand would hang out and shit-talk people and it'd be very funny.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

The Office: Napoleonic Empire Edition (now with VEEP)

Coulaincourt: So what’s your opinion of Frederick William? 

[pans across the carriage]

Napoleon: Frederick William? 

Napoleon: Oh, he’s a shit. 

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

ahhh Cronin included the (in)famous Coulaincourt bit about napoleon, men and tingling loins. Très scandaleux