#Corrie shenanigans

[stealthetrees]

A fanfic trope I will never get tired of is a Corrie finding the ugliest, most horrific couch to ever be created, digging it out of the trash, and thinking “you know who needs a couch so ugly looking at it will give you an instant lobotomy? My favorite big brother!” And they haul that monstrosity all the way up to HQ and put it in Commander Fox’s office. And it turns out to be the comfiest thing ever, like a cloud made of nightmares.

[yourfairygodmotherorsomething]

CHARACTER SHEET

Sonia CT-4808, GAR Logistics Officer, Coruscant.

this absolutely incredible art is by the talented @chiliger for @swartists4palestine.

If you were nervous about buying esims so that people in palestine are able to access communication, they have a link that goes through the process step by step. it’s a cause that is so worth donating if you can afford it!

Image description for images is in the alt text attached to the first image. The second image is a close up of Sonia’s face from the first image.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

Where Sleeping Foxes Lie by gladheonsleeps

rated g, 1, 349 words, ships: Commander Fox & Clone Trooper Gax (omc), Commander fox/Sleep

Everyone knows that Commander Fox’s sleep is sacred in the Coruscant Guard. If Fox doesn’t kill you for waking him unnecessarily, some other vod will—and it would most likely be Commander Thorn. And he’ll most likely make it hurt.

As one might expect, there are very few reasons that Commander Thorn would actually order someone to wake the Commander. But this, unfortunately, is one of them…

this is the first fic of nine written for the just write create-your-own-bingo challenge :3 I’m doing the fluff theme

[themistymountainscold]

hound: watch this! i taught grizzer a new trick.

hound: *throwing a ball past fox* go get it!

*grizzer doesn’t move*

fox: he didn’t do anything.

hound: exactly. i taught him to ignore social conventions and to think for himself.

[mamuzzy]

“Got a package got a a clone, uhh, no CT number here, but the message reads ‘Happy Birthday Dreadbolt!’ ”

“Could someone please pick up the parcel?! I’m gonna get squished flat under this humongous thing.”

hope I’m not late, happy birthday :D

It's never too late! Thank you so much for thinking about me and for the present too <3 (i hope the corries will give it back soon).

Currently I only have my sketchbook at hand, on train to go visit my parents for a few days. But I wanted to draw something silly with Fox =D

[rebecca-lotto]

in which i write about the corrie boys

when paired up with the extremely over-caffeinated , overworked & underpaid bunch of college students that is the corrie boys , anakin -human disaster , and senator amidala's husband + sugar baby'- skywalker looks like he has shit together. like obi-wan without the whore energy

if R2 had a credit for every time he's seen anakin force-scruff Fox, he'd haven enough cash to afford obi-wan's therapy bills.

there's a betting pool on what palpatine will do that'll cause fox to snap & kill him .

the highest odds are on 'makes a shiny cry in front of fox' and " drinks fox's venti espresso by mistake"

and anakin would finally start picking up Mando'a by hanging otu with these red menaces (affectionate)

also the corrie boys def made the star wars equivalent to death wish coffee.

although the corrie boys' version has at least twice as much caffeine compared to our world's version of it.

the corrie boys are definitely regulars at the local starbucks.

fox has most certainly spooked quite a few baristas by asking how much is it to fill a venti cup with nothing but espresso.

[ani-and-the-corries-au]

Thorn: do I even want to know what's going on here?

Lucky, Fuse and 'Sighter, surrounded by half their armor and a bucket of paint.

Lucky: since you asked, probably not

Fuse: In fact, it would be best if you forgot you saw this.

Thorn: what are you three doing this time.

'Sighter: i believe it's called finding a loop hole Commander.

Thorn, rubbing the bridge of his nose: Shinies

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

​this is one of my favourite corrie posts of all time.

Trooper: I caught this clone wandering around so drunk that he couldn't remember his own designation, so I'm putting him in the drunk tank for the night. Stone: Fo--? Fox, after making a 'Sh!' expression: Sorry, Commander... Stone: Uh...It's...ok? I'll take him from here, trooper. Trooper: Yes, sir. I'll write up the report, sir. Stone, once they're at the cell: What are you doing? He can't arrest you! Why didn't you tell him who you were? Fox: He was so nervous, I couldn't interrupt him! You know how discouraged our vod'ike can get. He was trying his best. He's doing such a good job, Stone. Don't tell him... Stone: The arrest was good? Fox: Perfect. He just stuttered over a word or two, but who doesn't the first few days of their job? Stone: Since it was a good arrest--Fine. I'll come back in a few to let you out. I'll just tell him that your commander called for you. Fox: Great! Tell him he did a good job too. Stone: Of course.

[stealthetrees]

Commander Fox has so much Big Brother energy he would do anything that could be cool and all the shines try to copy him. He puts five shots of expresso and and two shots of vodka in his caff and several troopers end up in the med bay with heart palpitations. He jumps off a roof and they all try parkour. He lies to a senator and now they’re all lying to politicians.

Fox is a horrible influence but he’s just such a cool guy to look up to. Shines follow him around like ducklings. On Coruscant you are no longer considered a shiny when you try to bully Fox into taking better care of himself.

[yourfairygodmotherorsomething]

At the turn of the year @kartakyber was doing some chibi commissions to fundraise for Palastine, and drew these absolutely spectacular Corries for a fic I only just finished.

come check out Hound, Thorn and Thire in all of their chibi glory, including Thire’s Mythosaur tattoo.

Cosme tattooed it in uv ink so it only shows up under a blacklight unless someone has the ability to see that spectrum (thus torturing Senator Halle Burtoni every time she sees him with his bucket off, as she deserves!)

they still bring me so much joy so many months later, and I’m so excited to share them!

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

*taps microphone* so i’d just like to talk about all the little kids in coruscant who would absolutely be out of their mind with love and awe for the corrie guard, and their fire engine red painted armour

these kids

these kids would wait at their windows to watch them drive past their window on a scheduled patrol. they’d be so thrilled to see them in the market. or when Fox is standing next to Palpatine in the press in his extra red paint

their parent will be like ‘want to talk to them?’ and the kids will get all shy.

they might even draw pictures of them to give to them

because no matter what the adults think, abiut flesh droids or military police being given more and more responsibility (that theybwould see as power) as the war went on, but little kids know what’s up. they know how cool garbage men are, and fire men (with the shiny red paint), and other civil servants that adults don’t think are awesome but kids know

and you know, you just know that Sergeant Hound, with his cute mastiff and awesome bucket paint would be the absolute pinnacle of coolness to an eight year old coruscanti child

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

this is absolutely magnificent. I’m dying. but also you just saved my life.

The war doesn’t end with a bang, strictly speaking. It doesn’t even end with a political forum, or peace talks, or a slow, wheezing death of the Banking Clan’s pockets running dry, even though all of those are valid possibilities. Some more than others, Cody has to admit.

No, the war ends with an article in the Galaxy’s least reputable news source, Coruscant Rotational. Splashed on the front page for all to see is Cody’s little brother, next to the Chancellor.

CLONE MEWS CHANCELLOR TO DEATH IN MOGGING MOVE FOR THE AGES - LOOKSMAXXING TAKEN TOO FAR?

“What”, says Obi-Wan, eye twitching, fingers massaging over the bridge of his nose at double their usual speed, a real sign of an impending nervous breakdown if Cody’s ever seen one, “the kriff does that even mean?!”

Rex shrugs helplessly with one shoulder, other arm raised aimlessly. “No idea, General. I only understand about half those words. Maybe we’re all having a collective stroke? Maybe Fox is having a stroke? Whatever he’s doing with his jaw in that picture can’t be healthy.”

“Well, not for the late Chancellor, anyways”, says Cody flatly, in the long-suffering tone of one who’s seen too much Jedi banthashit in too little time. He screws his eyes tightly shut, scrubbing the backs of his knuckles in hard enough to see galaxies explode. Nope, still the same words on that datapad.

“It can’t be true”, says Skywalker, who’d gone white as a shitty military-issue sheet and has been steadily pacing the room ever since the equivalent of a sonic bomb hit the room. “I mean - think about it, this could just as well be a Separatist ploy, it would play right into their hands, and Coruscant Rotational isn’t exactly the most reputable source -“

“True enough”, says Obi-Wan, thoughtfully. “They do like getting their facts mixed up. In fact, I’ve seen about six articles just this month proclaiming our dear friend Senator Amidala’s super secret pregnancy. They even falsified hospital records, can you imagine?!”

Somehow, Skywalker loses another shade of colour, gulping soundlessly, and resumes his pacing more frenetically than before. Weird guy, that.

It’s Rex who breaks the awkward stillness of the room, perking up suddenly. “Oh, I know! Why don’t we call in Commander Tano?! She’s about the right age to understand some of this dribble, right?”

“I was going to suggest calling Corrie HQ, but sure, let’s ask the teenage soldier from the space monk order who spends all her spare time hunting your legion for sport”, says Cody, dryly. Rex deflates, and Thorn’s tinny voice sounds through Cody’s comm before he can make his reply. “Marshall Commander, I assume this is about the News.” Ominous capitalisation, ooooh, mouths Rex, and receives the nearest datapad Cody can reach to the face for his troubles with a squawk. The fact that he can read that sentence off his lips means their legions have spent far too much time together, and also that Cody’s grown soft in his old age.

“Good to hear you too, Thorn, and yes, we do have some questions concerning why the kriff my vod’ika is accused of murdering the chancellor through what I can only assume is some secret Sith magic?!”

“Oh, you mean when he defeated the actual Sith on the Senate through the power of his superior mog and made the kriffer explode in a thousand wrinkly pieces? You’re welcome, by the way”, says Thorn, instead of literally anything sane.

“Commander”, begs Cody’s General, with something glistening that might actually be tears in his eyes. “Commander, please. I do not understand any of those words. I am begging you to put me out of my misery.”

PALPATINE??? SITH?????!!!, screams Skywalker in battlesign, somehow spelling out each individual question and exclamation mark.

“It’s a game we’ve started playing in the Guard, sir, to pass time on patrol”, says Thorn, sheepishly, cowed by nearly driving the High General Kenobi to tears. “We’d do stupid faces we found the holonet, and, uh - well Fox is so high on black-market morphine most of the time cause we don’t get bacta that he sleepwalks on assignment sometimes, and, uh, he started making them at the Chancellor during a holocall meeting with Count Dooku and then the Chancellor tried to electrocute him again but accidentally blew himself up-“

“Breathe, Commander”, says Obi-Wan, and then - “That is SO much information I don’t know what to do with, Force preserve me. Why is Commander Fox on black-market morphine, or sleepwalking, or making faces at-“

“He signs reports in his sleep too, sometimes”, Thorn interrupts the General. “It’s actually kind of impressive if, y’know, it didn’t make Stabby bust another capillary in pure rage.”

“Who’s Stabby?”, asks Obi-Wan, confused.

“Meeting with Count Dooku?!”, bursts out Skywalker.

“Congratulations on Amidala’s pregnancy, General Skywalker”, says Thorn, like a man who wants to see the world burn.

[incorrectclonewarsquotes]

Fox: Quin annoyed me today so I told him I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Cody: But there's nothing special about tomorrow and you hate pompous displays of affection

Fox: No, but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic sets in

Cody: Kriff

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

thorn: thankfully stone has written up a plan to circumnavigate the senate guards’ plan!

Thorn: The Senate Guard has a plan. Fox: The Senate Guard has the collective intelligence of a pineapple.

[stealthetrees]

Story time!

Fox was having a shity day, and then he was having a great day.

The usual bullshit, politicians, riots, criminal activity, syndicates after his head. He hadn’t slept in 30 hours. He was out of fucks to give.

Palpatine knocked a pen off his desk and asked Fox to pick it up. Fox went blind with rage and shot him on the spot.

Corrie guards standing outside the room poke their heads in, and see what happened. They congratulate Fox and gently chide him for not giving them more advanced notice as they respectfully arrest him.

Fox is in prison for about 27 minutes while they fake his death via stabbing by inmates he had arrested previously. He gets the CT number and armor of an ARC captain and is sent back to work, as per protocol.

Fox decides that this is an excellent time to take a team and go take out the leader of the Black Sun syndicate because they’ve been a pain in the ass for a while now. So he loads up a slug thrower and goes to kill Maul.

Somehow, news of what happened got around rather quickly and many people came to the marshal commanders office demanding an explanation.

Thorn, newly promoted, was not having a good time.

“Fox has been arrested” he explained patiently “he’s dead now tho so don’t worry about it”

“What does our decommissioned batchmate have to do with this?” Cody and Wolffe demand “we’re here about Fletcher”

Thorn forgot about Fletcher.

Well, he didn’t forget. How could anyone forget Marshal Commander CC-1010 Fletcher- oh wait.

Thorn realizes he has Fucked Up. He does not offer further explanation. He just sits down in the shitty little chair behind the shitty little desk in the shitty little office full of generals and commanders staring at him suspiciously and Thorn banged his head on the desk. Maybe if he knocked himself out he wouldn’t have to deal with this.

The universe decides to mock him further. Fives and Dogma, who are supposed to be dead, stick their heads through the door and somehow miss the huge crowd of people.

“Fox just got back and he gave us Maul’s head before heading up to blackmail a senator after dealing with that riot, what do you want us to do with it?”

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

happy foxquin week Day Five!

today’s prompt is ‘I found him in the dumpster’

1, 4030 words, rated G for the Corries staying silly :3

“Mesh’la,” Fox says tiredly, “That’s my jetii, not yours. Let him go.”

The roar of reply sounds distinctly defensive.