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plutoswritingplanet · 6 months ago

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Vicarious (Homelander x Female!Reader) pt.1

a/n: guys... you can't tell me y'all weren't expecting this. Title from the song "Vicarious" by Tool. Really wanted this to be a one shot, but as usual, I have shit to say. Will be Cross-Posted on AO3 as soon as they open the site back up.

Warnings: Nothing Explicit YET, some sexist remarks and creepy behavior from the man of the hour, Questionable Corporate Ethics, Set Before The Events Of The Show, Reader is written to be Plus Size.

Summary: Sidekick projects have been scraped completely after numerous accidents, but as a viral video of your hero work makes rounds through the public, you're forced to take part in a six moths program, that will forever change your life, as well as Homelander's

PT.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5

It all started with a video. An insignificant, minute-long nothing posted to TikTok by an account, that up until then, made short edits specifically of A-Train and some B-list no-name hero. Quickly, it gained traction, making rounds throughout the app, bleeding over to other services, all the way to national television. First, an independent local station, soon picked up by a Vaught-affiliated one. Normally, that's where it would've stayed. Stillwell would extend an offer of a chance at an interview, alongside one of the Seven. But for some unknown reason, that small piece of nothing climbed all the way up to the floor eighty-two of Vaught Tower.

Well, to be quite honest, Stillwell knew exactly why she was in this situation. After a very messy graduation speech at a small college, Homelander lost almost twenty points with a young adult demographic. It would've been an easy fix, if not for the delicate nature of the breached subject, and Madelyn knew, this sudden interest in a nobody from nowhere, who, coincidentally, fit the demographic perfectly, was anything but a happy accident. It was a test, both for Homelander, and for her.

Which is why, Madelyn Stillwell and Homelander, the Homelander, the most American supe to ever exist, are cooped up in your living room, glancing about the modest decor, as you pour iced tea into three glasses with tacky fruit print all over them.

You've refused every single invitation, every single Vaught representative that knocked on your door. Your inbox was flooded with emails, your phone number was blowing up two, three times a day. And yet, your answer remained the same. You were not interested in a collaboration, thank you for the opportunity, please leave me alone.

That wouldn't fly, not with Madelyn, who, pushed by the constant nagging from the upper levels of the Tower, decided a more direct approach was the right one. So, she dragged herself into this… Well, to be quite honest, bum-fuck-nowhere, and brought her star pupil with her. No one would refuse working with Homelander himself, after all. At least that's what they both thought.

-I appreciate the effort - there's a practiced, borderline bored intonation in your voice, and Homelander's hands flex on his thighs - But I've already talked with, um, Jerry? From HR? The answer is still no.

Your house is small, but cozy, with sunshine pouring through the windows, reflecting onto the beaded curtain hanging in the doorway to your kitchen. An artist's home, through and through. Homelander hates it, hates the ordinariness of it all. He was so much above all this, sitting on your worn down couch physically hurt him. And the smell. The smell was the worst part. Reheated lasagna, mixing with a lingering aftertaste of cigarette smoke, and an undercurrent of weed, that almost made him retch. If it weren't for that damned video, you would be nothing more, than another brainless ant under his boot.

-Well, we - Madelyn offers her best, brilliant smile, gesturing to herself and Homelander - are very passionate about discovering new talent.

Your mouth twitches into a knowing smile, and for just a second Homelander feels flames of intrigue rising in his chest. Not for long, though, because you recline back into an armchair, taking a sip of the iced tea, and his eyes flash to the way your throat moves as you swallow. You could be hot, he concludes. Young, and with a truly spectacular rack. But there was something off about you, like you were constantly on the verge of dying from boredom, some invisible weight always on your shoulders. No amount of fake smiles and high-end makeup could cover that up.

He'd fuck you. If you'd beg him.

-We want to offer you a new, revised contract - Stillwell extends her hand with a rather thick binder of papers, and you hesitate for a moment, before reaching over. - Hopefully, it will make you reconsider.

You don't even show them the decency of looking through it, placing it on the table instead, and Homelander feels an itch form itself in the corners of his eyes. Stillwell looks taken aback as well, her brilliant smile faltering for just a second. You on the other hand, take another sip of your drink, before placing it right in the middle of the contract, the moisture from the ice creating a wet circle in the paper.

Your heartbeat is even, it doesn't pick up even a smidgen, when you look between Stillwell and America's Greatest Hero, who is slowly but surely growing annoyed by your persistent indifference.

-Thank you, but I already said no - you repeat, and this time, Homelander shifts on the couch.

-And why not? - he asks, tension entering his voice in a way, that makes Madelyn squirm - Countless supes, with much more impressing powers than you, I might add, would kill to be in your place.

"To work with me" goes unsaid, but he can see in your eyes, you read it from thin air of superiority engulfing him. Annoyingly perceptive. You nod your head slowly, before turning away from them, looking out of the window of your living room. There's a small patch of grass, and a second house, so similar to yours, but at the same time, completely different. Your chin sticks out in its direction, and Homelander follows with his eyes.

There are paper butterflies stuck to the windows, cut out clumsily, most likely by children's hands.

-My neighbour, Missus Johnson - you explain - She lives there, with her three kids. Her husband died in a fire caused by your friend, Lamp Lighter.

Madelyn stills, Homelander raises an eyebrow.

-I can afford this house, only because my mother signed an NDA, after The Deep sank my father's fishing boat. - again, your heart stays completely unaffected - Accidentally, of course.

-I was not aware… - Madelyn starts, and it's hard to decipher whether she's talking to you, or Homelander.

Someone at the research department is going to have a very unpleasant evening.

-That's alright - you interrupt her with a raised hand and a small smile - This whole neighborhood is filled with similar cases. And I'm very, very attached to this place.

Why, Homelander couldn't tell. For all he knew, this was some shit hole, right in the suburbs outside New York. Not even the half decent ones. A forgotten by everyone, dying piece of land, that housed insignificant humans, who would never amount to anything, you included. He lived in a lavish apartment, inside a miracle of modern architecture. Who wouldn't want the same?

-And - there's something new entering your tone of voice - If I'm going to betray everything I stand for, I need to give something back to those people. Does your contract reflect that?

Madelyn bites the inside of her cheek, her scrutinizing gaze making your skin itch. Still, she sighs after a moment, excusing herself with that same, practiced expression she uses on every shareholder. Homelander follows her out, nodding his goodbye to you, but before he can leave this dump, Madelyn stops him with a hand pressed against his chest. She gives him one look, makes him aware that his job isn't over, and he can feel the muscles of his face twitch.

So, obediently, he lingers in your doorway, taking a few calming breaths, before facing you once more.

You've changed positions, your armchair abandoned in favor of sitting by the window, one leg bent in a way, that shows quite a nice view of your calf, your long skirt pooling around you. Homelander's eyes trail up with mild interest, and he indulges in his X-ray vision. He's just being curious, nothing more.

Your underwear is, well, for the lack of a better word, plain. The bra seems to be slightly ill fitted, digging into the sides of your breasts, making them almost spill from under your pits, and Homelander swallows thickly at the sight. There are little, pink hearts on your panties. The colors are dull and washed out from frequent use, and the once frilly lace is starting to fray at the edges.

Apparently Vaught's compensation was not sufficient for you to buy some decent undergarments.

-Do you want something to eat? Drink? - you ask from your place by the window, and Homelander is snatched back to reality - Do you even need food?

The bluntness of the question startles him, makes him feel defensive, but Madelyn wanted results, so he puts on a mask of his trained smile, and crosses the room. Back straight like an arrow, he looks wildly out of place between all the linens and cushions. He doesn't look at you, trapping your smaller form in the confinement of the window, as he watches over the neighboring house.

-I'm not hungry - he shoots down your offer with a wave of his hand - I've already eaten.

A lie, but he'd never stoop low enough to take any leftovers, especially from you. Still, the offer seems nice. He does like being pampered, even if it's with lackluster things. Your eyes linger on his boyish smile, another practiced thing, and Homelander shifts focus to your heartbeat once again.

-Alright then - your voice sounds indifferent as ever - Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to make some dinner for myself.

He offers a small nod, and watches you from his position by the window, as you slip past him. It does require quite a lot of manoeuvering, but you manage to stand without touching him. He has to admit, watching you balance, as you try to avoid him, was amusing. Still, your heart beats calmly, and, not wanting to be left on his own, Homelander follows you to your kitchen. The beads of the courtain drum delicately over the bronze eagles on his shoulders.

The fridge is buzzing something awful. He can see just how run down the inside mechanism is, the hinges squeaking unbearably, as you reach for a box of reheatable spaghetti. There's cheep beer inside, a moldy lemon, a carton of milk pretty close to expiring, and a half-used bottle of spicy ketchup. Homelander doesn't even recognize these brands, they're not sponsored by Vaught, that's for sure.

Cheap, tasteless, basically offering no nutritional value.

-Would you step back for a second? - he asks, already wrenching himself between you and that pathetic excuse of a meal.

Again, your body sways to avoid touching him, and for some unknown reason, he finds it very amusing.

Then, you watch with a raised eyebrow, as he turns towards your spaghetti, a red sheen overtaking his eyes. An unbearably hot beam shoots out, making the insides of the plastic packaging sizzle. Finally, that gets him a reaction, as you gasp and reel back, colliding with the barely functional fridge. Your heart does a flip inside your chest, and Homelander soaks up your shock like a man starved.

Only when the red fizzles out of his gaze do you dare to move, approaching him slowly, your eyes bearing into him in a way that is frankly uncomfortable.

He turns to you with another one of his charming smiles, trying to handle this sudden scrutiny in as flippant a way as possible.

-I had no idea you can control the intensity of your lazer - you admit, voice slightly breathless.

-Pretty neat, huh? - perhaps he's fishing for more attention, but he doesn't care, because your eyes light up for just a moment in sheer wonder.

-Super cool, actually.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking right, he is super cool. And your heart is beating so much faster, and finally you're looking at him as if he's more than just some guy, some living advertisement you're determined to ignore.

And then your eyes shift, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, as you zero in on his shoulder. Something akin to a wave of amusement flickers across your expression, and to his general surprise, Homelander wants to know what's the cause of this shift. Your lips pull back into a smile, teeth peaking at him in all their glory. He can almost imagine them running down his skin, before he pushes the thought back all together, as the lower portion of his suit becomes slightly too tight for comfort.

-Well, thank you for saving the spaghetti - your eyes hold a spark of amusement - My hero.

Okay, alright, he's hard. There's no point denying it. However annoying and insignificant you were moments before, your quip goes straight to his loins, burning enough, for him to consider just how mad Stillwell would be, if he'd have a taste of this newly discovered talent.

If he stands any closer to you, he might find out, because this special little moment you two have shared, is crudely interrupted by Madelyn clearing her throat. Homelander nearly jumps back, you however barely turn your head, reaching for your spaghetti and arming yourself with a fork.

-I've spoken to my supervisor - Stillwell announces, clearly peeved by the way you start chewing on the noodles - A new version of the contract will be emailed to you as soon as possible. Hopefully it will be satisfactory.

-Thank you, Miss Stillwell - you answer with an inclination of your head.

With that, Madelyn nods her goodbye at you, refusing to shake your hand, which does amuse you, you're not going to lie. Homelander however, goes all out, capturing your fork-weilding arm, his fingers sneaking around your wrist like a bracelet. Or a shackle. Then, you watch with a confused arch to your eyebrows, as he brings you closer, until his lips press onto the protruding knuckles. Now that, admittedly, gets your heart going. You were not an easily embarrassed person, not by a long shot, but you could feel blood rushing towards your face all the same.

He has to hold his breath, as he kisses your hand in that charming, gentleman way he's seen in old movies. The smell of pasteurized tomato sauce blows in his direction, like a direct assault on his senses. Still, he needed something that would make you swoon. If everything failed, he knew how to be intimidating, but for now, perhaps he wanted to try something different. Something that would yield much more pleasant results, for the both of you. Mostly for him, let's be honest.

Madelyn asks him to stay back, spy on you throughout the night, and he begrudgingly agrees, if only to mask the fact, that he would do so of his own volition, had she not brought it up. And as such, he floats into the rapidly cooling air, disappearing into the darkening sky, where you wouldn't be able to see him even if you tried. He could see you however, and hear you, and he was about to make the most of the situation.

He spends the whole evening just watching you exist within your space. Normally, it would piss him off beyond belief. You weren't doing anything scandalous, anything that could warrant his attention. And yet, as he floats on, in time lowering himself just slightly, to get a better view, he just can't seem to look away. The spaghetti is gone in approximately fifteen minutes, as you inhale the supermarket food, walking around the living room, the kitchen, getting a few bites on the porch even. You seem so utterly unfazed by the events of the past hour, like you haven't just had America's Greatest Superhero try to convince you to work with him. It's honestly insulting, this lack of reaction.

Then, finally, he can hear a distinct ping of a new email come from your laptop, and you sit down on the couch with a small huff. Your eyes move, your lips twitch, and then he hears your heart stop in your chest. As if working on autopilot, your hand travels up, covers your mouth in shock, and you lean back against the worn-down sofa, eyes glued to the screen illuminating your face in a blue-ish light.

-...fuck… - you whisper, and despite himself Homelander floats even closer to your window.

Finally, he has the chance to peak over the curtain. To sneak into the backstage of the award winning production of your defenses, and see what goes on in those bored eyes of yours, when they're not guarded. And what he sees makes his suit feel much too tight, his body too warm. Quite an unusual thing to get so worked up about, but he's the goddamned Homelander, he can get hard whenever he fucking wants. And so, as saliva gathers on his tongue, he presses himself against the tiles on your roof, all the warmth of the day soaking into his skin through the thick material of his suit.

With a shaky hand you reach over towards your phone, putting in a number and pressing the call button, before standing straight from the couch, almost knocking the laptop over.

-Hey, what's up? - someone says on the other end of the line, and Homelander tries to focus more on the words flowing from the receiver.

-Oh, you gotta sit down for that one - you warn with an anxious chuckle, taking the familiar place by the window.

With your free hand you reach up to open the window all the way. Then, Homelander sees your fingers slip between the pillows and pull out a rather beaten up pack of cigarettes.

Naughty, naughty, he thinks, watching you produce a lighter from that same hiding place.

-Alright, I'm sat like never before.

The voice sounds vaguely female, although the shitty quality of your phone makes it hard to decipher. Your lips pull back into a toothy grin, and you blow out the smoke through the window. It curls upwards and dissipates into the air, right above the roof, where Homelander swallows thickly around a coughing fit.

-You will not believe who visited me today…

-The ICE - the voice deadpans, and you snort around another huff of smoke.

-Pretty fucking close, let me tell you - he doesn't appreciate the joke, not at all - Fucking Homelander.

The line goes completely quiet for a moment, and with every second your grin seems to be growing.

-Deadass?

-Yup - your lips purse, and Homelander zeroes in on the expression - Flew in all Star's Spangled Glory with some Vaught big fish. They tried to convince me to join the Seven.

-And obviously you said yes, because what the fuck else do you do in that situation?

Your grin slowly fades away, and you lean your forehead on the window frame.

-You didn't?

-I didn't.

Again, it's quiet.

Homelander shifts a bit in his position, adjusting against the warmed up tiles of the roof, his X-ray vision bearing into you. Out of curiosity, he looks deeper, eyes floating over your insides. You're relatively healthy. Some vitamin deficiencies, but nothing too serious. And despite that nasty habit lodged between your fingers, your lungs are clear, at least for now. There's a softness to your body, your muscles barely visible, as if you're just another gray human. Oh, and there's a bit of an eyesight problem forming, not enough to warrant glasses, but that shouldn't take long, considering your lifestyle.

-The contract they gave me was really good, you know - you muse to the phone, your leg dangling from the windowsill - Six months of working under Homelander, a Sidekick kinda situation.

-I thought they scraped the Sidekick program - the person on the other side wonders - Too many casualties or something.

-Yeah, well I guess they want to bring it back.

-Why did you say no then? I'm sure they pay is gigantic.

Again, you smile. This one much more reserved, bordering on sad. There's that strange kind of exhaustion settling into your bones again, same one Homelander noticed when he first saw you. Your shoulders slump forward, and you curl into yourself between the cushions.

-It was, it was… - you mutter - But I needed something more, for the neighborhood, ya know?

Your caller hums softly in understanding, and Homelander feels like something is passing him by. Some unspoken fact, that you and your friend find obvious.

-And - you hesitate, eyes flickering towards the laptop, your heart beat picking up ever so slightly - They sent me a revised contract. And it's fucking good. Really fucking good. It could help this entire place get back on its feet.

-But you still don't want to - the voice says for you, without judgement.

-No - you sigh - I really, really don't.

-Say no then - your friend supplies, and once again Homelander feels a flame of annoyance start to burn within him - No one else knows about the contract, there will be no expectations.

Slowly, you nod your head, clearly relieved by the way your friend reacted to the news. Homelander however, caught you right where he needed you. That's your lever. Not seduction, not intimidation, just plain, stupidly human guilt.

-Thank you - you whisper into your phone, finally smiling again - Oh, wanna know one more thing?

-Obviously.

-Homelander's wearing a padded suit.

Something's stuck in his throat, as he reels back from his position. Before he can stop himself, his eyes begin to glow red, because how the fuck did you know?

-Okay, that's bullshit.

-Unless his shoulder dislocated in the middle of talking, then no, it's definitely not bullshit.

Your friend gives out a choked laugh, one which you mirror with your own. If Homelander wasn't so utterly flabbergasted by your (correct) observation, he would've stopped to appreciate the sound. As it stands, however, he pushes himself off your roof, a couple of broken pieces falling off of the tiles. And then he's up in the air, cutting through the winds, headed straight for the Tower, leaving you in the comfort of your insignificant, smelly home.

The contract is leaked before the sun is up.

You're awoken to thousands of news articles flooding your timeline, all listing the truly wonderful and selfless points in the fated email. With a white face, you read them all, the speculations, the theories, the angry comments about you being chosen without an actual casting, while all those up and coming supes are busting their asses in auditions.

Soon enough, you're visited by every neighbour possible, congratulating, thanking you. A barbecue is set in the street, as a way of celebration, and you want to throw your phone, and subsequently yourself into the nearest river.

Madelyn Stillwell sends you an email, scheduling a meeting at the Vaught Tower. No need for pleasantries at this point, you stare at the bare bones invitation. "We eagerly await the start of our partnership" looks back at you, mocking your resolve. And thus, the end of your life as you know it begins.

"Project Delinquent"

The words are printed in an ugly, corporate font, and they stare back at you, outlining the mold you're supposed to fit in, in such a perfect way, it actually, almost makes you retch. True, during high school you were quite the little rebel, but people grown and learn, and seeing your character be watered down to that simple word, does send a wave of nausea through your insides. Even if this is hell of your own making, even if you're ready to swallow it all down with a smile, there's a pang of humiliation stinging your heart.

The armchair in Stillwell's office is uncomfortably narrow. It barely has enough room to accommodate your hips, and you wonder if this design is intentional. There is a growing ache in your calves, as you sit so close to the edge, you can't fully relax into your position, balancing on your feet instead. The armrests dig into your sides, and the way the sun is shining through the gigantic windows of the office, is shaping this charade of a meeting into an overstimulating nightmare. Still, you endure. For all the wonderful benefits enclosed in your contract, the charity work Vaught is going to supply.

Or at least, that's what you keep telling yourself, stuck between the marketing department representatives and a literal Devil of a woman.

Madelyn Stillwell doesn't know what to make out of you. Your files were filled with all sorts of questionable activity, especially around the college area. It's honestly a miracle you've managed to get your degree, and attend all those silly little demonstrations at the same time. Your criminal record has been wiped clean, weeks before you even agreed to sign the contract, just in case any leaks would find their way into the media. Leaks that were not orchestrated by Madelyn, of course.

High school rebellion was almost too easily marketable, Madelyn decided to focus on that part of your life as much as possible, her vision slowly coming to fruition. All she needed, really, was cooperation. And while you seemed to be mostly receptive to her ideas, she needed to make sure Homelander was on his best behavior. Which, well… Could go sideways in the worst way imaginable, but Stillwell tried to have some faith in her best superhero.

The idea of releasing details of your contract to the public, was a stroke of genius, she did not expect from Homelander, and she made sure he was thoroughly rewarded. With him, it was always better to choose the hands-on approach, unfortunately. With you, however, ideals were the key. Whatever feeling of solidarity you harbored towards your neighborhood, provided a leverage relatively easy to control. Still, as Stillwell looked you over, crammed into her office in your, frankly, lousy attire, she couldn't help but be just a tad worried about your compliance.

-…And then - the marketer continues with a dramatic gasp - Homelander comes in. America's Greatest Hero, offers you a mentorship. And you…

You look up at the representative with a rather sour expression. They have to work on that too. Media training was crucial. You won't be able to sell anything, if you keep grimacing like that all the damned day.

-… Are starstruck - your mouth twitches - You strike up a deal, selfless. A rebel with a heart of gold. Finally, you can make some real change happen, so you push aside your anti-corporate values, to discover, that Vaught is so much more, than you could possibly imagine.

It's hard not to laugh, and you swallow thickly, biting your lip, as a middle-aged woman you don't recognize gets up from the couch, and makes her way to the wall opposite of your torture chair. There, tucked in a corner and hidden under a black cloth, stands a mannequin, roughly your size. With a flourish you find utterly out of place, the woman tugs at the cape, and as it falls to the floor, so does your stomach. You can't hold it in any longer. A rough snort of laughter rips out of your nose, and you cover your mouth instantly.

-That better be a laugh of delight - Ashley, a ginger menace, mutters under her breath, and Stillwell turns to you with a tight expression on her face.

-Something the matter?

-I mean - you take a deep, grounding breath, tying your amusement in the back of your throat - I knew it's going to be skimpy, but this is…

You look around the room, seeing various stages of corporate outrage, and then you lock eyes with Homelander. Stillwell insisted on his participation in the meeting, as the both of you are supposed to work closely together, and throughout the whole ordeal, he looked borderline ready to die of boredom. Now, however, his eyebrows lift in a curious manner, as he takes in the, to be completely honest, horrendous costume, and your full figure. Something dangerously close to disgust twists your features, as he shamelessly drags his eyes all over your body.

Who would've thought America's Sweetheart was a fucking creep?

Rolling your eyes, you get up from the cursed armchair, your knees cracking loudly. Crossing the room, you take a closer look at the clothing, or rather, lack there of. Torn fishnets, plaid tennis skirt, and a corset top, made out of some leather-like material. Truly, a fetishists wet dream. Your fingers sample the fabric of the skirt. Surprisingly stiff, it seems to beg for a wardrobe malfunction. With a frown pulling down your lips, you lift the material up, and as expected, find no safety shorts underneath.

Homelander watches you intently, as you inspect the costume. Just the thought of your soft body in this skimpy, corporate bastardization of a rock star, makes heat rise in the lower part of his stomach. With every disapproving pull of your, and don't quote him on that, perfect lips, he's more and more convinced this whole charade is just an early birthday present. He'll have to thank Stillwell. Or better not, because as soon as he throws her a sidelong glance, he discovers, she's already looking at him. With a rather tense expression at that.

He feigns innocence, almost raises his hands in mock defeat, but decides against it at the last second. You're still watching him, torn between inspecting the costume, and shooting disgruntled looks in his direction.

Then, as if pulled by some invisible force, your hand sneaks to the front of the corset, fingers closing over the full cup, where your breast will soon reside. You give the mock leather two squeezes, and a high-pitched laugh wheezes out of your lips. Homelander's head nearly snaps with how fast he turns to look at Stillwell, confusion clear on his face.

She's looking at you cautiously. He knows that expression all too well, he's seen it multiple times during their partnership. She's calculating, with bated breath, just how much of a problem you'll inevitably become. How to turn it around in the company's favor, how to steer you in the right direction, should the need arise.

But then, you clap your hands, still giggling quietly, and turn to the designer, who's been watching your reaction with a growing distaste.

-That's one hell of a push-up bra - you comment with a raised eyebrow - My tits will fly straight out of this, if I even think about moving my arms.

Now, that's something Homelander would love to see, and you note his leering face with an uncomfortable shift in your posture.

-Your physique has to be god-like. There's no shame in a little padding - the designer answers simply, and your eyes glimmer with amusement.

-Oh, I bet - your eyes float for just a second in Homelander's direction, and he wonders if lasering you down right now would be too harsh of a reaction.

The image had to be kept up, however, and he deflects your blatant provocation with a bright smile. Or rather, it would've been a bright smile, if his cheek didn't twitch in a way, that portrayed exactly how forced his pleasantries are.

-There will be a press conference, seven PM sharp, where you'll be introduced to the public - Ashley informs you, her eyes glued to her tablet - Homelander will give a welcoming speech, explain that you're a temporary member of The Seven. Then, you'll need to say a couple of words. We'll send you the talking points ASAP.

-Right… - you mutter, not particularly thrilled by the idea of public speaking.

Stillwell looks over her shoulder towards Homelander, giving him an expectant, raised eyebrow. Slowly, he moves from his spot by the window, hand extended in a greeting, teeth flashing in a smile. Your eyes involuntarily shift towards his rather sharp canines, and for the first time, since you've signed the contract, you truly feel uneasy. His eyes are almost unnaturally blue, a perfect, American shade, that glimmers just a tad too dangerously. There's no need for super senses, he can feel your nerves in the very air you breathe.

-Welcome to The Seven - his voice is smoother than you've ever heard before - Fireball.

Wait a god-damned minute.

Confusion covers all previous feelings, and to Homelander's growing annoyance, you leave him with his hand extended, in favor of turning towards Stillwell.

-That's not my name - you point out, and Madelyn nods her head in a practiced expression of understanding.

-Due to some copyright intricacies, we can't let you use Smirnoff - she explains.

You suck in a deep breath through your teeth, looking back towards the costume. A moment's hesitation, you close your eyes as you breathe out, and once again Homelander feels as if he's able to peak under a carnival mask you carefully placed upon yourself. He lifts it just enough, sees the way muscles on your neck twitch. Your jaw sets in a way, that is slowly becoming intoxicating, and then you turn back to him.

-I'm honored - your voice is hollow, locked far away in the column of your throat, and you don't have enough strength to even attempt a smile.

That's alright, he has enough charm for the both of you, his imposing stature pushing towards you, as his arm sneaks around your shoulders.

Fuck, you're warm. He can feel the heat of your skin seeping into his costume. There's a vaguely familiar smell clinging to your form, mixing with the scent of cigarette smoke. Jasmine flowers, he concludes, and absent-mindedly remembers a rather large bush growing in your backyard. He wonders, if you'd let him fuck you, if he showed up with a bouquet at your door. Women seemed to like those, and although you didn't strike him as the most romantic person, he's positive he could charm his way into your pants.

-I'll show you to your room, sweetheart - perhaps he's laying it on a bit heavy with the nickname.

He can hear Stillwell's heart jump, and he immediately knows, he's going to have to sit through a stern talk later today. You, on the other hand, wrench your head to the side, disgruntled with this new form of familiarity. Your entire body goes tense, and you try to wriggle yourself further away from him. On instinct, his fingers dig into your shoulder, a mockery of a friendly expression, and with just a small fragment of his true strength, he pushes you forward, out of Stillwell's office.

He can do whatever he wants, and Madelyn is getting awfully pushy with guarding you from him. You're just a temporary toy to satisfy the higher-ups. A six months worth of an experiment, that he's forced to be a part of. After your contract is up, Vaught won't care whether you live or die, and you bet your rather ample ass, he's going to exploit that to the fullest. Not only is it borderline insulting, to deny him life's simple pleasures, it's pathetic.

-Nervous about the press? - he asks in a light tone, his jaw clicking softly, when your slide out of his grasp as soon as the doors close.

The casualness of this question throws you in a bit of a loop, but with a couple of rapid blinks, you're back to normal, letting him lead you towards the elevator.

-Public speaking isn't my best asset - you mumble.

Homelander presses the call button of the elevator, then leans against the wall, watching you with a strange twinkle in his eye.

-Sounds like someone's not a people person - he notes, wiggling his finger at you in a manner that is confusingly playful.

-I am a people person - you defend yourself, albeit a bit awkwardly - Just… Not when there's a lot of people.

He laughs at that, a practiced, almost theatrical bark that's as fake as his hairdo. All you have the strength to do, is flash him half of a smile. Thankfully the elevator pings before any more small-talk is required, and you slip into the confined space, standing in the corner. His eyes roam freely all over your body, a shameless act that makes your guts twist, makes the already small space of the elevator even more stuffy. And then, he enters after you, pressing a button to the right floor, and taking a spot much too close to you, than what's necessary.

You suppose it's one of the things you'll have to get used to. This constant invasion of your personal space. Perhaps, if it were someone else, someone that wasn't as empty as you, those actions would've been more intimidating than annoying. Alas, as you watch his chest rise and fall in steady rythm, out of the corner of your eye, his actions remind you of a petulant, spoiled child, rather than America's Greatest Hero. "I can't play with this toy? And what if I do this?" For just a second you entertain the idea of gentle parenting Homelander, and the thought makes the corner of your mouth twitch.

-Something the matter? - he asks, tension sneaking into his friendly tone.

-Just happy to be here, sir - you answer, and he knows it's a blatant lie, another one of your snarky provocations.

Doesn't matter for now, there will be a time to teach you some manners.

The elevator arrives at the right floor, and you bolt out of your place as soon as the doors slip open. Homelander follows closely behind, before closing the distance in a couple of long steps. Then, he's in front of you, and you nearly collide with his form, as he suddenly comes to a stop, in front of a pair of large doors. "Fireball" is etched into a small plack, and you throw the offending piece of metal a withering glance.

-That's your stop, sweetheart - he comments, and once again, you grimace at the nickname - Take a look inside, I'm sure it will blow your socks right off.

Why is he talking to you like you're a fucking child all of a sudden, you'll never understand. The door clicks softly, as you open it, revealing your living space for the next six months. The sight chokes a laugh out of you, because truly, the ammount of "punk" memorabilia is staggering.

-Does cocaine addiction come with the package, or…?

He doesn't even react to your joke, and you don't blame him. For all his creepiness and fake interest, he doesn't strike you as the funniest person on earth. There are guitars hanging over a rather large bed, there's a pristine stop sign next to them, which you suppose is meant to look rebellious. The usage of leopard print is tacky at best, and you truly start to wonder if they even consulted someone out of the corporation to design the space. Most likely no, wouldn't want to waste resources on such a small project.

-Fireball - Homelander's voice is barely above a whisper, but it makes your heart jump all the same.

He's standing so closely behind you, you can feel the warmth of his breath at the back of your neck, but for some unnknown reason, you can't force yourself to move. Instead, you feel him take a deep breath trough his nose, his chest brushing against your back. Your eyes stay glued to a drum set, pushed against a gigantic window. Light reflects off of the cymbals, in your mind you're already playing it, far away from this nightmare of a superhero.

-I'll see you at the press conference - Homelander's hand clasps itself over your shoulder, squeezing a couple of times, as if testing the softness of your body - Don't even think about being late, young lady.

You don't know when he dissapears, as you stand there, frozen. One foot over the threshold of your room, breathing shallow and borderline panicked. It could've been seconds, could've been hours, until your head finally snaps to the side. He's not there anymore, you're alone in the corridor, and as you slam the door closed behind you, something you've only suspected before becomes abundantly clear.

There is something deeply wrong with Homelander.

#my writing #homelander x reader #homelander x you #plus size reader #the boys amazon #the boys x reader #homelander #the boys fanfiction #homelander fanfiction #do we have to have a talk about how liking a character doesn't equal endorsing their actions or are we good?#it'll get much darker later down the line but for now have this blurb of barely conscious writing

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year ago

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Kickstarting the audiobook of The Lost Cause, my novel of environmental hope

Tonight (October 2), I'm in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab. On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

The Lost Cause is my next novel. It's about the climate emergency. It's hopeful. Library Journal called it "a message hope in a near-future that looks increasingly bleak." As with every other one of my books Amazon refuses to sell the audiobook, so I made my own, and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-lost-cause-a-novel-of-climate-and-hope

That's a lot to unpack, I know. So many questions! Including this one: "How is it that I have another book out in 2023?" Because this is my third book this year. Short answer: I write when I'm anxious, so I came out of lockdown with nine books. Nine!

Hope and writing are closely related activities. Hope (the belief that you can make things better) is nothing so cheap and fatalistic as optimism (the belief that things will improve no matter what you do). The Lost Cause is full of people who are full of hope.

The action begins a full generation after the Hail Mary passage of the Green New Deal, and the people who grew up fighting the climate emergency (rather than sitting hopelessly by while the powers that be insisted that nothing could or should be done) have a name for themselves: they call themselves "the first generation in a century that doesn't fear the future."

I fear the future. Unchecked corporate power has us barreling over a cliff's edge and all the one-percent has to say is, "Well, it's too late to swerve now, what if the bus rolls and someone breaks a leg? Don't worry, we'll just keep speeding up and leap the gorge":

https://locusmag.com/2022/07/cory-doctorow-the-swerve/

That unchecked corporate power has no better avatar than Amazon, one of the tech monopolies that has converted the old, good internet into "five giant websites, each filled with screenshots of the other four":

https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

Amazon maintains a near-total grip over print and ebooks, but when it comes to audiobooks, that control is total. The company's Audible division has captured more than 90% of the market, and it abuses that dominance to cram Digital Rights Management onto every book it sells, even if the author doesn't want it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/25/can-you-hear-me-now/#acx-ripoff

I wrote a whole-ass book about this and it came out less than a month ago; it's called The Internet Con and it lays out an audacious plan to halt the internet's enshittification and throw it into reverse:

http://www.seizethemeansofcomputation.org/

The tldr is this: when an audiobook is wrapped in Amazon's DRM, only Amazon can legally remove it. That means that every book I sell you on Audible is a book you have to throw away if you ever break up with Amazon, and Amazon can use the fact that it's hold you hostage to screw me – and every other author – over.

As I said last time this came up:

Fuck that sideways.

With a brick.

My books are sold without DRM, so you can play them in any app and do anything copyright permits, and that means Amazon won't carry them, and that means my publishers don't want to pay to produce them, and that means I produce them myself, and then I make the (significant) costs back by selling them on Kickstarter.

And you know what? It works. Readers don't want DRM. I mean, duh. No one woke up this morning and said, "Dammit, why won't someone sell me a product that lets me do less with my books?" I sell boatloads" of books through these crowdfunding campaigns. I sold so many copies of my last book, *The Internet Con, that they sold out the initial print run in two weeks (don't worry, they held back stock for my upcoming events).

But beyond that, I think there's another reason my readers keep coming back, even though I wrote a genuinely stupid number of books while working through lockdown anxiety while the wildfires raged and ashes sifted down out of the sky and settled on my laptop as I lay in my backyard hammock, pounding my keyboard.

(I went through two keyboards during lockdown. Thankfully, I bought a user-serviceable laptop from Framework and fixed it myself both times, in a matter of minutes. No, no one pays me to mention this, but hot damn is it cool.)

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/13/graceful-failure/#frame

The reason readers come back to my books is that they're full of hope. In the same way that writing lets me feel like I'm not a passenger in life, but rather, someone with a say in my destination, the books that I write are full of practical ways and dramatic scenes in which other people seize the means of computation, the reins of power or their own destinies.

The protagonist of The Lost Cause is Brooks Palazzo, a high-school senior in Burbank whose parents were part of the original cohort of volunteers who kicked off the global transformation, and left him an orphan when they succumbed to one of the zoonotic plagues that arise every time another habitat is destroyed.

Brooks grew up knowing what his life would be: the work of repair and care, which millions of young people are doing. Relocating entire cities off endangered coastlines and floodplains, or out of fire-zones. Fighting floods and fires. Caring for tens of millions of refugees for whom the change came too late.

But with every revolution comes a counter-revolution. The losers of a just war don't dig holes, climb inside and pull the dirt down on top of themselves. Two groups of reactionaries – seagoing anarcho-capitalist billionaire wreckers and seething white nationalist militias – have formed an alliance.

They've already gotten their champion into the White House. Next up: dismantling every cause for hope Brooks and his friends have, and bringing back the fear.

That's the setup for a novel about solidarity, care, library socialism, and snatching victory from defeat's jaws. Writing it help keep me sane during the lockdown, and when it came time to record the audiobook, I spent a lot of time thinking about who could read it. I've had some great narrators: Wil Wheaton, @neil-gaiman, Amber Benson, Bronson Pinchot, and more.

I record my audiobooks with Skyboat Media, a brilliant studio near my place in LA. Back in August, I spent a week in their recording booth – "The Tardis" – doing something I'd never tried before: I recorded a whole audiobook, with directorial supervision: The Internet Con:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992826/DEA0CE12/purchase

When it was done, the director – audiobook legend Gabrielle de Cuir – sat me down and said, "Look, I've never said this to an author before, but I think you should read The Lost Cause. I don't direct anyone anymore except for Wil Wheaton and LeVar Burton, but I would direct you on this one."

I was immensely flattered – and very nervous. Reading The Internet Con was one thing – the book is built around the speeches I've been giving for 20 years and I knew I could sell those lines – but The Lost Cause is a novel, with a whole cast of characters. Could I do it?

Reader, I did it. I just listened to the proofs last week and:

It.

Came.

Out.

Great.

The Lost Cause goes on sale on November 14th, and I'll be selling this audiobook I made everywhere audiobooks are sold – except for the stores that require DRM, nonconsensually shackling readers and writers to their platforms. So you'll be able to get it on Libro.fm, downpour.com, even Google Play – but not Audible, Apple Books, or Audiobooks.com.

But in addition to those worthy retailers, I will be sending out thousands – and thousands! – of audiobook to my Kickstarter backers on the on-sale date, either as a folder of DRM-free MP3s, or as a download code for Libro.fm, to make things easy for people who don't want to have to figure out how to sideload an audiobook into a standalone app.

And, of course, the mobile duopoly have made this kind of sideloading exponentially harder over the past decade, though far be it from me to connect this with their policy of charging 30% commissions on everything sold through an app, a commission they don't receive if you get your files on the web and load 'em yourself:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell/posts/3788112

As with my previous Kickstarters, I'm also selling ebooks and hardcovers – signed or unsigned, and this time I've found a great partner to fulfill EU orders from within the EU, so backers won't have to pay VAT and customs charges. The wonderful Otherland – who have hosted me on my last two trips to Berlin – are going to manage that shipping for me:

https://www.otherland-berlin.de/en/home.html

Kim Stanley Robinson read the book and said, "Along with the rush of adrenaline I felt a solid surge of hope. May it go like this." That's just about the perfect quote, because the book is a ride. It's not just a kumbaya tale of a better world that is possible: it's a post-cyberpunk novel of high-tech guerrilla and meme warfare, climate tech and bad climate tech, wildcat prefab urban infill, and far-right militamen who adapt to a ban on assault-rifles by switching to super-soakers full of hydrochloric acid.

It's a book about struggle, hope in the darkness, and a way through this rotten moment. It's a book that dares to imagine that things might get worse but also better. This is a curious emotional melange, but it's one that I'm increasingly feeling these days.

Like, Amazon, that giant bully, whose blockade on DRM-free audiobooks cost me enough money to pay off my mortgage and put my kid through university (according to my agent)? The incredible Lina Khan brought a long-overdue antitrust case against Amazon while her rockstar DoJ counterpart, Jonathan Kanter, is dragging Google through the courts.

The EU is taking on Apple, and French cops are kicking down Nvidia's doors and grabbing their files, looking to build another antitrust case for monopolizing GPUs. The writers won their strike and Joe Biden walked the picket-line with the UAW, the first president in history to join striking workers:

https://doctorow.medium.com/joe-biden-is-headed-to-a-uaw-picket-line-in-detroit-f80bd0b372ab?sk=f3abdfd3f26d2f615ad9d2f1839bcc07

Solar is now our cheapest energy source, which is wild, because if we could only capture 0.4% of the solar energy that makes it through the atmosphere, we could give everyone alive the same energy budget as Canadians (who have American lifestyles but higher heating bills). As Deb Chachra writes in her forthcoming How Infrastructure Works (my review pending): we get a fresh supply of energy every time the sun rises and we only get new materials when a comet survives atmospheric entry, but we treat energy as scarce and throw away our materials after a single use:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/612711/how-infrastructure-works-by-deb-chachra/

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. We have shot past many of our planetary boundaries and there are waves of climate crises in our future, but they don't have to be climate disasters. That's up to us – it'll depend on whether we come together to save ourselves and each other, or tear ourselves apart.

The Lost Cause dares to imagine what it might be like if we do the former. We don't live in a post-enshittification world yet, but we could. With these indie audiobooks, I've found a way to treat the terminal enshittification of the Amazon monopoly as damage and route around it. I hope you'll back the Kickstarter, fight enshittification, inject some hope into your reading, and enjoy a kickass adventure novel in the process:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-lost-cause-a-novel-of-climate-and-hope

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/02/the-lost-cause/#the-first-generation-that-doesnt-fear-the-future

#pluralistic #audiobooks #the lost cause #crowdfunding #kickstarter #spoken word #climate #climate emergency #monopoly #drm #amazon #audible #skyboat #science fiction #hope not optimism

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astroa3h · 1 month ago

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How Pluto Entering Aquarius Will Shape the Next Two Decades

Hold onto your hats, because the cosmos just handed us a front-row ticket to the most exhilarating and unsettling ride of the century. Pluto, the planet of transformation, power, and those deep, dark truths we’d rather shove under the rug, is strutting into Aquarius, the sign of innovation, rebellion, and humanity’s collective future. This isn’t just a cosmic shuffle. It’s a full-blown revolution that will flip the script on every corner of life as we know it. We’re talking society, technology, relationships, and yes, your personal universe. This not your average astrological transit.

Pluto doesn’t mess around. This is the planet of the phoenix, meaning if something isn’t working, it’s about to burn down to ashes. But don’t panic. Aquarius isn’t here to destroy for the sake of destruction. This air sign is the visionary genius, the tech whiz, the humanitarian. Together, they’re rewriting the rules of the game. Think of it like a power wash for your life and our world, a little messy at first, but ultimately freeing. For the next 19 years, expect seismic shifts in how we connect as a species. Aquarius rules technology and social systems, so the digital landscape will explode with changes. In terms of astrology predictions, AI won’t just be a cool tool; it’s going to reshape the job market, education, and even how we understand what it means to be human. If you’ve been clinging to outdated ways of working or communicating, Pluto is here to snap you out of it. The advice? Embrace the new. Learn, adapt, grow. That app you’re too stubborn to download could end up being the key to your next career move.

Power structures are about to collapse. Pluto in Aquarius doesn’t tolerate inequality, corruption, or anything that reeks of the old guard clinging to control. Governments, corporations, and even social hierarchies are in for a rude awakening. On a personal level, ask yourself where you’ve been giving your power away. Is it to a boss who doesn’t value you? A partner who keeps you small? A habit that numbs your potential? Pluto is here to tear those chains apart. But it’s on you to step into the freedom that follows. Of course, there’s a shadow side. Aquarius can be cold, detached, even ruthless in its pursuit of the greater good. Be wary of losing yourself in groupthink or tech dependency. Just because the world is speeding up doesn’t mean you have to lose touch with your own humanity. Make time for real conversations, face-to-face connections, and grounding rituals. This isn’t just a suggestion.

It’s a survival tool for navigating the chaos.

And let’s talk relationships. Traditional bonds might feel stifling under this influence. Aquarius loves independence and freedom, so if you’re in a situation that feels too confining, it’s time to shake things up. This doesn’t mean running for the hills every time someone asks for commitment. But it does mean being honest about what you need to thrive. Maybe that’s more space, or maybe it’s a complete reimagining of what love looks like for you. Just know this: Pluto doesn’t do surface-level. Any connection that’s shallow, fake, or rooted in outdated ideals is going to crumble. And that’s a good thing. This is also a time to dream big, no, bigger. Aquarius is the sign of invention and radical ideas. If you’ve been sitting on a creative project, a business idea, or a vision for your future, Pluto is giving you a cosmic green light. But there’s a catch. You can’t just dream it; you have to build it. Aquarius is innovative, yes, but it’s also fiercely logical. It’s about using your genius to create something real. So, roll up your sleeves. Get to work. You have a 19-year runway to make something extraordinary.

But remember, transformation isn’t a one-and-done event. Pluto moves slowly, digging deep into the cracks we don’t want to see. There will be moments when it feels too intense, too overwhelming. That’s when you lean into the Aquarian gift of vision. What kind of future do you want to build? What kind of person do you want to become? Keep your eyes on the horizon, even when the ground shakes beneath your feet. Pluto in Aquarius isn’t just a transit. It’s a call to action. It’s a demand to evolve. The world is changing, fast. And the question isn’t whether you’ll adapt. It’s whether you’ll rise to meet the opportunity. The universe believes you can. Now it’s your turn to believe it too.

Sending you all my love and blessings,

Ash (@AstroA3h via Instagram & TikTok)

✨💓

Ready for your own personal reading?

Visit astroash.net to book yours today!

#astrology #astrology readings #astrology aspects #natal chart #astrologer #astro observations #astro community #pluto #age of aquarius #aquarius #daily astrology #astrology community #astro placements #zodiac #zodiac signs #astrology signs

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ashadowofburnedoutstardust · 4 days ago

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Random thoughts:

#notaneconomist (although I do thoroughly enjoy strategy) These are just my own personal observations and conclusions

For some reason my mind has wandered over to the state of the US economy, not hard to understand why given the times

It's the circular nature of the US military being the backbone of US financial stability that has for some reason taken the attention of my wandering mind

This is what has occurred to me:

The backbone of the United States economy is of course its military spending

The US military has a budget larger than the five following countries with the highest spends comparatively combined

We should find it unsurprising given that the majority of what is not internal spending is spent on development in terms of building military vehicles, weapons, firearms etc etc and that the majority of this is done within the private sector

For example: OshKosh builds trucks to transport tanks and also many different types of logistic vehicles, Pokémon Go helping to build a massive global spatial map, Angry Birds data being used to help build a surveillance network, Swarovski making riflescopes etc etc

Anyway, things get contracted out to be built right?

Given that most major corporations operate under much larger umbrellas it would make sense that these companies would have an invested interest and whether or not the US government actively keeps military funding high enough for everyone to get a piece of the pie

Given that internal spending on a product usually requires a profit markup I would imagine that the US government in terms of its military spending is not exactly getting bang for its buck.....(And lord knows they aren't spending it on their veterans).....so of course the business lobby wants to help ensure that they keep getting these high priced contracts to keep their profit margins high while having some sort of other, well I guess a front; like kids toys, or a gaming app, or jewelry to help disguise where it is they're getting a lot more of their companies earnings from

The other thing is that the US government needs to justify to the public the monstrosity of a budget for the military, and in order to do that you need to maintain a level of insecurity; not only in their own country by keeping weapons accessible but in other foreign nations by staging military coups, covertly funding terrorist organisations, staging a proxy war etc etc which of course we all know by now that the CIA helps ensure happens in order to "protect American interests"

So to summarise all of that the backbone of the US economy is basically a giant money laundering scheme run through its military in order to fund its business lobby and as long as the rest of the economy underperforms they were always be able to justify having an intensive military spend in order to prop it up

The worst thing that could happen to its economy is the US actually becoming a peaceful state; it seems to me that the recent events over the past couple of years have alerted the working class to the extent of which they are being squeezed in order to fund this business lobby

Unfortunately, this bubble that they have created around themselves will eventually burst

Even the Baby Boomers are starting to feel the pinch of the water in expense of living in this economy that the Millennials and Gen X have been living through; even the conservative working class are starting to turn on the system that they have been living in

The United Healthcare shooting is a prime example of it

It would seem that the ruling class has squeezed a little too hard and inadvertently started the class war they never wanted all under their own gusto

*slow clap*

#us govt #us government #lobbying #us military #us economy #us congress #oshkosh #swarovski #angry birds #pokémon go #united healthcare #luigi mangione #ceo shooting #class war #boomers #gen x #millennials #gen z #angelstardust

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troythecatfish · 8 months ago

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#threads #threads app #current events #social justice #human rights #leftist #leftism #leftisim #socialism #socialist #communism #communist #left wing #left wing politics #leftist politics #anti capitalism #anti corporations

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adimouze · 3 months ago

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In your opinion is this it? It’s definitely over? I want to be positive because the complete silence around Checo doesn’t sit right with me, but seeing Daniel like that reminds me a little bit of 2022, even if I think he knows what his future will look like. Now we have Ted and The Race “backing up” Danny and I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad sign. Red Bull literally fucked everything up

I don't think Ted/The Race backing Daniel up means anything, they would happily shit on his corpse again if it means more engagement I just think they were either 1) told or 2) realized that Daniel's stats aren't shit, in fact he's almost equal to Yuki in race results, and that pushing forward with an "out by COTA" narrative would look bad if Daniel isn't actually out by COTA. So if they start putting out softer statements like this they can say "oh well WE never believed the rumours!"

And honestly nonny, I can't begin to predict what RBR is doing so if they go insane and get rid of him by COTA nothing i say now would matter. BUT I do work in corporate law and (while i did have a mental breakdown over the rumours an hour ago) I don't personally think they can easily get rid of Daniel like that. Mainly because --

Idk if VISA is daniel's personal sponsor per se but they seem to have adopted him as a brand ambassador for the VCARB project. They probably would have clauses that require Daniel's presence at sponsor events and marketing. These are all guesses and idk if it's true for Daniel but usually the contracts I work with have these expectations. They would have PAID either VCARB or Daniel himself for his presence at these events. COTA would be one major event they definitely planned other sponsorship events for. Cash App would get a boost and they would need Daniel's face for it. It would incur them losses to have to sacrifice a name like Daniel Ricciardo for the rookie.

I know F1 contracts are apparently the flimsiest in the world, but Bayer did mention Daniel does not have any KPIs or performance clauses. It did backfire on him at Mclaren but I would expect his team to at least have some experience in avoiding this fate? But like, he isn't even racking up costs like Logan and in a dire skewed H2H. Like @danthropologie said, they have upgrades coming up that would need people who have used the previous upgrades and know how they work to properly utilise feedback in.

Also lol. Don't think even RBR itself would allow a midseason dump to Daniel at this stage. Prodigal sons would not be allowed to suffer such an indignity, especially if they want his goodwill back at some point? Yeah they definitely threw him to the wolves this weekend but...I personally don't think they would pull the rug on Daniel like that halfway through a season. They would at least let him tell people first so he/his team/RBR can capitalise.

He's a very good distraction from the Checo of it all right now. Daniel effectively removed the fact that RBR is failing, losing the constructors, Max is at risk of leaving from the news cycle. 2025 is another matter.

So yeah. Based on that, I personally don't think Daniel will get replaced. However I'm only a liddol person and I am biased so a lot of what I just said may be based on how I feel personally it should work out.

I'm worried for Daniel in 2025. But COTA? Not necessarily. Again I don't know shit. But I think a lot of thoughts.

#daniel ricciardo #f1 #ask!#sorry for the big rant #i lost my mind #a while back but now that i cried about it i feel better

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watchinghallmark · 3 months ago

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Alright! I was at work this morning (not necessarily working because how could I with all the excitement??), so here is the deep dive no one asked for.

This is extremely long because I posted the summaries but if you want to know my thoughts on each movie/program, join me under the cut! This is just for Hallmark Channel. Another post coming for Mystery and Hallmark+ later on.

Hallmark Channel

🎄 ‘Twas the Date Before Christmas Premiere Date: Friday, Oct. 18 at 8/7c Cast: Robert Buckley, Amy Groening Premise: To prevent her family from canceling the “Chamberlain Family Christmas Olympics,” Jessie (Groening) lies and says she’s inviting a date to the long-standing holiday tradition. She meets Bryan (Buckley) on a dating app, and he agrees to spend the holiday with her and her family. As Jessie and Bryan engage in eccentric activities like the search for the Christmas tree star, gift wrapping contest and snowball fight, they start to develop real feelings for each other. Soon her family begins to catch on to their secret and Bryan suspects she may be hiding the real reason for her unusual Christmas date request. As the celebrations continue, Jessie must work to keep all her stories straight and save her date with Bryan.

I love this pairing! It's so great to see Amy as a lead. She was so fun in The Santa Summit last year. This sounds like a fun one and a great way to kick off the festivities. What is she hiding???

🎄 Holiday Crashers Premiere Date: Saturday, Oct. 19 at 8/7c Cast: Lyndsy Fonseca, Daniella Monet, Chris McNally, Jag Bal Premise: Best friends Toni (Fonseca) and Bri (Monet) have worked at the same card shop for more years than they should as both struggle to find their true life’s path. This holiday season, Toni and Bri decide to shake up their humdrum world by creating new identities to crash the amazing Christmas parties from the shop’s confidential invitations. All harmless fun! Until Toni gets mistaken for a lawyer, which isn’t too far off the mark since she did finish law school… just never completed the bar exam. Toni and Bri are then whisked away to a fancy corporate Christmas retreat in the snowy Vermont mountains by handsome business mogul, Justin (McNally), whose crush on Toni is real even if her legal career isn’t. And Bri is along for the ride as she has eyes for Vinny (Bal), a valet who may have a secret of his own. Can a distraction help Bri find what path in life she’s supposed to follow? Will Toni end up with the guy of her dreams or in a blizzard of trouble? This fun Christmas crashing romp will either end in disaster or two happily-ever-afters!

This sounds like a wild ride and I'm here for all the shenanigans! Great cast. It's nice to see Daniella acting again.

🎄 Scouting for Christmas Premiere Date: Sunday, Oct. 20 at 8/7c Cast: Tamera Mowry-Housley, Carlo Marks, Marci T. House Premise: Angela (Mowry-Housley) has been a busy realtor since her amicable divorce a couple of years ago to Dakota (James Paladino, Lucky Hank), a paleontologist whose adventures kept him anywhere but home. Now, she is a devoted if often harried, single mom to a smart and loving 10-year-old girl, Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez, The Good Doctor). Angela’s busy schedule makes it hard for her to find time for much of anything — or anyone — else. As it is, she can barely get Brooklyn to her scout meetings on time, much to the disapproval of the other mothers. When Brooklyn gets the idea to have William (Marks), the owner of her favorite bakery, cater her scout troop’s posh annual holiday event, she asks Angela to work with him on pitching the idea to the moms in charge. Despite sensing that her daughter might be trying to play cupid, she agrees to help and finds herself enjoying time with him, but is reluctant to open her heart and life to someone new. When Dakota returns, missing her, Angela must decide what is best for her daughter and best for her heart.

The daughter is sweet mute orphan Millie from WCTH! The one who was obsessed with Henry (same girl same). Love her. Anyway. Carlo is one of my faves. He's just so cute! This sounds like there will be some drama with the ex and that's fun. Throuple?

🎄 Operation Nutcracker (Previously on Hallmark Movies Now) Premiere Date: Friday, Oct. 25 at 8/7c Cast: Ashley Newbrough, Christopher Russell Premise: When an antique nutcracker set to be auctioned at the Warby family Christmas charity goes missing, a demanding event planner (Newbrough) and the heir to the Warby dynasty (Russell) try to track it down.

I've already seen this and it surprised me. I don't necessarily care for either actor but it was actually really enjoyable.

🎄 The Christmas Charade Premiere Date: Saturday, Oct. 26 at 8/7c Cast: Rachel Skarsten, Corey Sevier Premise: Whitney (Skarsten), a cautious librarian raised by home security experts, finds herself in a real-life adventure when a blind date mix-up leads her into an undercover FBI operation. Forced to pose as the girlfriend of Special Agent Josh (Sevier), she helps him track down an art thief targeting the Saint Nicholas Ruby at a Christmas Eve charity ball. As the stakes rise, Whitney must embrace her inner action hero to save the day—and her family—just in time for Christmas.

This sounds incredible. Sort of reminiscent of The Royal Nanny but that's a good thing because that was so different and fun. I'm here for more Christmas action movies. I like this pairing a lot too.

🎄 The 5-Year Christmas Party Premiere Date: Sunday, Oct. 27 at 8/7c Cast: Katie Findlay, Jordan Fisher Premise: Over five years, Alice (Findlay) and her old theater school rival, Max (Fisher), reunite each holiday season to work at a Chicago catering company’s Christmas parties. While their undeniable chemistry grows, the timing is never right for romance – until the company’s final season pushes them to confront their true feelings. As they say goodbye to the job that brought them together, they might finally find love in the most unexpected way.

Sounds cute! I like when we get to see a couple through time.

🎄 A Carol for Two Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 1 at 8/7c Cast: Ginna Claire Mason, Jordan Litz, Charlotte D’amboise Premise: After moving to New York to make it on Broadway, Violette Wagner (Mason) gets a job at Fiore’s, a legendary theater district diner, famous for its singing wait staff, who bide their time there, while awaiting that big break. Luck seems to be on her side when she gets a coveted slot, singing during Fiore’s annual Christmas Eve concert, which is attended by a who’s who of the theatre world. But her big opportunity turns out to be a duet with Alex (Litz), who has been less than welcoming, and believes she was only given the job because the owner of Fiore’s is a family friend. They’re stuck with each other, though, since people have been plucked out of that show and put right on Broadway. As they rehearse together, Alex’s cousin, Brad, takes an interest in Violette, and they begin dating but, unbeknownst to her, Alex has been feeding Brad information about her, Cyrano-style, to win her over. However, when Alex begins developing feelings for her as well, a love triangle ensues, and things come to a head when their deception is uncovered, which, in turn, threatens Violette and Alex’s big opportunity.

Well this sounds messy! I love mess! Great casting for Broadway fans.

🎄 Our Holiday Story Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 2 at 8/7c Cast: Nikki DeLoach, Warren Christie Premise: As Dave (Christie) and Nell (DeLoach) recount their love story to their daughter’s boyfriend Chris, we follow them through one special Christmas where fate routinely brought them together – and kept them apart. But as Dave and Nell tried to find one another, they were oblivious to the fact that they were work nemeses paired together to throw a Christmas festival for their town. Meanwhile in the present, Chris struggles with relationship issues of his own as he attempts to say “I love you” for the first time to his girlfriend Jo. As our two couples and storylines intersect, lessons are taught and learned about communication, honesty and the capacity for change — in ourselves and in others.

I'm confused by this summary. How were they oblivious that they were working together and didn't like each other? Are we getting young versions of Dave and Nell? Why the boyfriend and not the daughter? Overall just a big HUH? from me. It's Nikki and Warren so I feel like it'll be good but I simply just do not get what this movie is about.

🎄 Holiday Mismatch Premiere Date: Sunday, Nov. 3 at 8/7c Cast: Caroline Rhea, Beth Broderick Premise: Sabrina, the Teenage Witch reunion! When free-spirited Kath (Rhea) and uptight Barbara (Broderick) clash at a Christmas committee meeting, they’re shocked to discover they’ve accidentally set up their adult children via a dating app. Determined to stop the romance, the two mothers team up, only to realize they have more in common than they thought. As their kids’ love blossoms, so does an unexpected friendship between their meddling moms, bringing both families together for a festive Christmas.

So excited to see Hilda and Zelda back together. This sounds like so much fun. I love that we're getting romance and friendship in a lot of movies this year. I need to know who the children are played by.

🎄 Trivia at St. Nick’s Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 8 at 8/7c Cast: Tammin Sursok, Brant Daugherty Premise: Pretty Little Liars reunion! When students all flee an elite university in Vermont for winter break, the locals and faculty hunker down for their favorite time of year – the annual Christmas Bar Trivia Tournament! For Celeste (Sursok), a Type-A astronomy professor, this event combines the magic of Christmas with her greatest comfort in life: knowing the right answer. But when her colleague drops out of the tournament to do a month-long lecture tour in Asia, Celeste’s team must adopt Max (Daugherty), the football team’s new offensive coordinator. To Celeste, Max seems like nothing more than a grown-up class clown – though he brings an undeniable knowledge of sports trivia (a category their team has always fallen short in). Initial clashes between the two eventually turn into mutual appreciation as the team enjoys scavenger hunts on campus, decorating the international house with Christmas lights, baking Christmas cookies, and advancing toward the championship trivia game. Celeste can’t help but delight in Max’s infectious enthusiasm, love for all things Christmas and perhaps most importantly, his comfort with the unknown. And after a romantic wintery night at the campus observatory with Max, Celeste starts to wonder if being open to life’s surprises is more important than knowing the answer to everything.

Another fun reunion. This sounds cute.

🎄 Santa Tell Me Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 9 at 8/7c Cast: Erin Krakow, Daniel Lissing, Benjamin Ayres, Christopher Russell, Kurt Szarka Premise: When Calls the Heart reunion! When Olivia (Krakow), a successful interior designer, finds an old letter from Santa promising she’ll meet the love of her life by Christmas Eve—and that his name will be Nick—she’s stunned to meet not one, but three guys named Nick (Ayres, Russell, Szarka). As she navigates these holiday romances, Olivia also finds herself drawn to her charming co-worker, Chris (Lissing), throwing her magical Christmas quest into question. With the clock ticking toward Christmas Eve, Olivia embarks on a heartwarming and humorous journey to uncover her true soulmate.

This is one reunion I actively dislike. Daniel Lissing, the quitter. But honestly bless him for not having the ability to be a lead in a show so that we could get Kevin McGarry. Obviously a huge upgrade. I hope she makes out with all of these guys. I definitely didn't expect this movie to have so many men when it was first announced so that was a pleasant surprise.

🎄 ‘Tis the Season to Be Irish Premiere Date: Sunday, Nov. 10 at 8/7c Cast: Fiona Gubelmann, Eoin Macken Premise: Rose (Gubelmann), a nomadic house flipper, heads to Ireland to renovate and sell a cottage, but her plans are upended when she meets Sean (Macken), a local realtor determined to preserve his town’s heritage. As she works on the cottage and embraces Irish Christmas traditions, Rose finds herself falling for Sean and questioning her fear of settling down. Together, they must confront their pasts and discover if love is worth taking root.

This summary doesn't really give me any feels but I'm sure the movie will be pretty and Eoin is a hunk. It'll be nice to be transported to Ireland at Christmas.

🎄 Christmas With the Singhs Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 15 at 8/7c Cast: Anuja Joshi, Ben Hollingsworth Premise: For Asha Singh (Joshi), Christmas is the most important time of the year. But when she’s stuck working at the hospital during the holidays, she wishes for some much-needed Christmas magic. Enter Jake (Hollingsworth), her former high school classmate, who unexpectedly reappears in her life. After a magical year together, Jake proposes. But their first Christmas as an engaged couple isn’t exactly the fairytale they imagined. When they head home for the holidays, they quickly discover their picture-perfect romance is about to get a serious reality check: their families couldn’t be more different! Juggling various holiday traditions, big personalities, cultural differences and complicated family dynamics proves to be a challenge as Asha and Jake have to learn if they can bridge their two families and survive a Christmas with the Singhs.

I really like this premise. It's nice to see different kinds of families and cultures represented on Hallmark. It's shocking, but Christmas isn't just for white people.

🎄 Jingle Bell Run Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 16 at 8/7c Cast: Ashley Williams, Andrew Walker Premise: Avery (Williams) is an unadventurous schoolteacher whose sister secretly signs her up for The Great Holiday Dash, a Christmas-themed reality competition show where she’s paired with former hockey player Wes (Walker). Despite clashing at first, Avery’s puzzle-solving skills and Wes’ physical prowess help them excel as they travel from city to city and compete in festive feats that have a local flavor. It’s not long before a real connection between these opposites begins to blossom. But when Avery overhears a conversation between Wes and a show producer it threatens to derail their budding romance. Keeping their eyes on the prize, the duo continues to dash to the finish line but there may be a more personal adventure for them still in store.

This sounds like a blast. I think they're a good pairing.

🎄 Confessions of a Christmas Letter Premiere Date: Sunday, Nov. 17 at 8/7c Cast: Angela Kinsey, Alec Santos Premise: Settie Rose (Kinsey), a quirky family matriarch, enters her town’s annual holiday letter-writing contest but needs help, so she hires struggling novelist Juan (Santos) to craft the perfect letter. When a mix- up leads to the rumor that Juan is engaged to Settie’s daughter Lily (Lillian Doucet- Roche, The Cases of Mystery Lane: Death is Listening), the whole family scrambles to keep up the charade. As Juan bonds with the Roses and overcomes his writer’s block, Settie learns that embracing her imperfect family is what truly makes her story special. Features a cameo appearance by Brian Baumgartner (The Office).

If Juan isn't gay I'm gonna riot. Happy to see Angela in a movie with a bonus reunion too. Seriously though. He better be gay. Where are the gays???

🎄 Christmas on Call Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 22 at 8/7c Cast: Sara Canning, Ser’Darius Blain Premise: In the lead-up to Christmas, emergency room doctor Hannah Michaels (Canning) juggles her demanding job and a budding romance with EMT Wes Sullivan (Blain) in Philadelphia. They spend time together as Wes helps her become more acquainted with the sights, sounds and tastes of Philadelphia, it’s clear that they’re starting to fall for each other. As the local First Responders balance duty with holiday celebrations, they come together to face challenges, support each other and find moments of joy. Features a cameo appearance by Donna Kelce.

This sounds really nice and it's fun that they gave Donna the opportunity to be in this one too for fairness sake.

🎄 Three Wiser Men and a Boy Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 23 at 8/7c Cast: Paul Campbell, Tyler Hynes, Andrew Walker, Margaret Colin Premise: The story begins five years later with the Brenner brothers preparing for another memorable Christmas. In a crazy turn of events, possibly brought on accidently by the brothers themselves, the director of Luke’s (Walker) son Thomas’ (Miles Marthaller, Round and Round) school holiday musical steps down. Luke is desperate to make his son’s stage dreams come true, so he enlists the help of his brothers Taylor (Hynes) and Stephan (Campbell). Meanwhile, the trio navigates meeting their mom Barbara’s (Colin) new boyfriend and the brothers grapple with their own feelings about this relationship. In true Brenner brother fashion, they are all in for a Christmas they will never forget.

Ok but what about the girlfriends?? Where are they? There's a lot of pressure on this one to be great so hopefully they can deliver.

🎄 To Have and To Holiday Premiere Date: Sunday, Nov. 24 at 8/7c Cast: Madeleine Arthur, Robert Bazzocchi, Eric Close Premise: When Celeste (Arthur) gets engaged to Jason (Bazzocchi) after just a few months of dating, her father and the couple’s would be officiant, Pastor Mark (Close), insists on putting them through a pre- wedding “bootcamp” filled with Christmas-themed challenges. As the couple grows stronger through the festive activities, Celeste considers following her dreams in the fashion industry. Meanwhile, Pastor Mark learns to trust his daughter’s choices, leading to a heartwarming holiday season for the whole family.

Love to see the ghost from 3 Bed get to be a lead. She was lovely in that movie.

🎄 Debbie Macomber’s Joyful Mrs. Miracle Premiere Date: Thursday, Nov. 28 at 8/7c Cast: Rachel Boston, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tanner Novlan, Matthew James Dowden, Max Lloyd-Jones Premise: Three adult siblings (Lamothe-Kipnes, Dowden, Lloyd-Jones) return to their childhood home at Christmas to honor their late grandmother’s wishes and try to agree on new leadership for the family’s company. Enter Annie Merkel (Boston) – also known as Mrs. Miracle – who poses as an estate planner and uses her special brand of Christmas magic to help the family find common ground and rekindle their bonds. As the siblings try to sort things out, Charlotte (Lamothe-Kipnes) also finds herself reconnecting with Austin (Novlan), the manor’s caretaker and her first love.

I'm gonna need one (or both) of the brothers to be gay, thanks.

🎄 A ’90s Christmas Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 29 at 6/5c Cast: Eva Bourne, Chandler Massey, Katherine Barrell Premise: Workaholic lawyer Lucy Miller (Bourne) is celebrating her promotion alone on Christmas Eve when a mysterious rideshare experience transports her back to 1999. Reliving the holiday with her mom, sister and best friend – not to mention her high school crush – Lucy gets a second chance to understand where her relationships went wrong. Will this magical journey help her rewrite her future or leave her destined to be alone?

Did her Uber driver drug her? Also, how were they high schoolers in 1999? Kat and Chandler were both born in 1990. Maybe it's just weird phrasing? Concept seems fun I guess.

🎄 Deck the Walls Premiere Date: Friday, Nov. 29 at 8/7c Cast: Ashley Greene, Wes Brown, Danny Pellegrino Premise: Rose (Greene) is a Chicago-based interior designer, whose brother Sal (Pellegrino) is responsible for a Christmas Charity House Flip back in their suburban Ohio hometown. When a budget crisis puts this important project in danger, Rose reluctantly returns during the holidays to try to save the day. Not ready to face the ghosts of her past, Rose’s plan is to get in, get it done, and get out ASAP. But before she knows it, she is face-to-face with Brysen (Brown), her brother’s best friend, contractor and who just so happens to be the bane of Rose’s youth. With the help of friends and family, and buoyed by the season of giving, the trio figures out a way to work together for this worthy cause. As Rose works, she discovers unexpected love and deeper purpose along the way.

Oooh we love a brother's best friend enemy to lovers romance!

🎄 Believe in Christmas Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 30 at 6/5c Cast: Meghan Ory, John Reardon Premise: When Beatrice (Ory) reluctantly joins her best friend on a trip to the enchanting Christmasland, she’s skeptical of the holiday magic surrounding them. But as she experiences festive traditions and meets a charming stranger named Ethan (Reardon), she begins to question what’s real and what’s part of the experience. In the end, Christmasland helps Beatrice rediscover hope, love, and the magic of new beginnings.

Very cute that these two get to do a movie together and it sounds intriguing.

🎄 Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story Premiere Date: Saturday, Nov. 30 at 8/7c Cast: Hunter King, Tyler Hynes, Ed Begley Jr., Richard Riehle, Diedrich Bader, Christine Ebersole, Megyn Price Premise: Alana Higman (King) is sure that her family’s lifelong history as Kansas City Chiefs superfans makes them a frontrunner to win the team’s “Fan of the Year” contest. Derrick (Hynes), Director of Fan Engagement, is tasked with evaluating how Alana and her family stack up against the other two finalists. As the pair spends time together, it’s clear there’s a spark between them but when her grandfather’s (Begley Jr.) vintage Chiefs good-luck winter hat goes missing, Alana begins to doubt everything she believed about fate, destiny and even questions her future with Derrick – unless, that is, a little Christmas magic can throw a Hail Mary. Features cameos by Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid, Chiefs Players Trey Smith, Mecole Hardman Jr., Clyde Edwards-Helaire and George Karlaftis, Donna Kelce, and Jenna Bush Hager.

There's so much hype for this one so it better be worth it.

🎄 The Finnish Line Premiere Date: Sunday, Dec. 1 at 6/5c Cast: Kim Matula, Beau Mirchoff, Nichole Sakura Premise: Inspired by her father’s acclaimed legacy in dog sled racing, Anya (Matula) decides to follow in his footsteps. After his passing, she heads to Finland to participate in the 40th annual Joulurauha race, her father’s final race where he fell short of the victory. Following an injury to her lead dog during the qualifying race, Anya finds herself partnered with a new canine companion owned by journalist and former racer Cole, (Mirchoff) who aims to pen a story about her journey. Struggling to build trust with her new dog and facing her father’s rival, Monty, (Páll Sigþór Pálsson, Mr. Murphy) Anya must navigate many challenges as she strives to win the race.

Really looking forward to this one! Fun, different plot and punny title too. I also really like the leads.

🎄 The Christmas Quest Premiere Date: Sunday, Dec. 1 at 8/7c Cast: Lacey Chabert, Kristoffer Polaha Premise: An archeologist (Chabert) and her ex-husband (Polaha), an expert in ancient Norse languages, are sent to Iceland at Christmastime to search for the legendary treasure of the Yule Lads. When others join in the hunt, the pair find themselves swept into a thrilling adventure as they race to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.

It'll be great to see these two together for the first time and I love that it's an adventure. We need more of those.

🎄 Private Princess Christmas Premiere Date: Friday, Dec. 6 at 8/7c Cast: Ali Skovbye, Derek Klena, Erica Durance Premise: Vi (Skovbye), better known as Princess Violet of Wingravia, adores the privileges of being a royal, if none of the responsibilities. After being disappointed by Vi one time too many, the Queen (Durance) decides to test her daughter’s mettle once and for all and issues an ultimatum: Vi must pass a vigorous leadership boot camp in Colorado or lose the throne to her uncle. At boot camp, Vi and her fellow cadets are put through a rigorous grind under the uncompromising supervision of Captain Ryan Douglas (Klena).

I'm not sure what a leadership boot camp is. Zoom meetings? Telling people they won't be getting a bonus? Concept sounds fun though and the romance maybe a little forbidden which I'm into.

🎄 Sugarplummed Premiere Date: Saturday, Dec. 7 at 8/7c Cast: Maggie Lawson, Janel Parrish Premise: Emily (Lawson) has always dreamed of creating the perfect Christmas, meticulously planning every detail year after year, only to feel like she’s falling short. Hoping to bring her family closer together, she makes a wish for a holiday as picture-perfect as the ones she sees in a made-for-TV holiday movie. To her shock, Sugarplum (Parrish), the film’s relentlessly optimistic main character, magically steps off the screen to make Emily’s wish come true — whether she’s ready for it or not. As Sugarplum applies her movie-world rules to real life, Emily gets caught up in the possibility of finally achieving the flawless family Christmas. But when Sugarplum’s magical fixes start to backfire one by one, Emily begins to question what an ideal holiday really is. With time running out, Emily and Sugarplum find themselves on a heartwarming adventure – one that might just amount to an entirely different kind of Christmastime perfection.

I think this one will be a lot of fun and really unique which is nice. Very curious to see how it all comes together.

🎄 Leah’s Perfect Gift Premiere Date: Sunday, Dec. 8 at 8/7c Cast: Emily Arlook, Evan Roderick, Barbara Niven Premise: Leah Meyer (Arlook) is a bonafide lover of Christmas – the trees, the ornaments, the eggnog! But she has always admired the holiday from afar because she’s Jewish. Though her family celebrates Hanukkah, Leah has longed to experience a traditional Christmas. When her boyfriend Graham (Roderick) invites her to spend the holidays with his classic Connecticut family, she eagerly accepts. Excited to dive into the quintessential Christmas she’s always dreamed of, Leah quickly discovers that fitting in with Graham’s uptight family and his not-so-welcoming mom (Niven) is easier said than done. As holiday traditions clash and awkward moments pile up, it is not quite the cozy Christmas that she expected.

A mean mom is a really fun twist. I like the concept. Not familiar with Emily so it'll be nice to have a new face.

🕎 Hanukkah on the Rocks Premiere Date: Friday, Dec. 13 at 8/7c Cast: Stacey Farber, Daren Kagasoff, Marc Summers Premise: One week before Hanukkah, corporate lawyer Tory (Farber) finds herself unexpectedly unemployed and questioning the career she’s dedicated years to. As she helps her Bubby prepare for the holiday, she embarks on a quest across Chicago to find the last box of coveted Hanukkah candles. Her search leads her to Rocky’s, an Old Town bar, where she encounters Jay (Kagasoff), a charming doctor from Florida, his grandfather Sam (Summers) and a cast of quirky regulars who make her rethink everything. Torn between keeping her job loss a secret and embracing a newfound sense of belonging, Tory ends up bartending at Rocky’s, transforming it into the vibrant “Hanukkah on the Rocks” celebration. Through festive food, drinks, and games, she revitalizes the bar, bonds with Jay, and finds the courage to pursue her true calling. As Tory navigates the holiday, she learns that sometimes a detour can lead you exactly where you’re meant to be, lighting the way to a future filled with joy, romance, and self-discovery.

Could be fun. Haven't seen Daren around in a while so that's cool.

🎄 The Santa Class Premiere Date: Saturday, Dec. 14 at 8/7c Cast: Kimberley Sustad, Benjamin Ayres Premise: Kate North (Sustad) finds herself reluctantly taking over her father’s once acclaimed and now struggling Santa School. In the weeks leading up to Christmas and the school’s next session, Kate and her new co-worker Dan (Ayres) discover who they believe to be the real Santa Claus, lost and without his memories after his sled steered off course and crashed near the school. They decide to help him remember who he is by inviting him to participate in the intense Santa training program. There’s a lot at stake this year with Kate’s school needs to best the rival St. Nicholas School or be forced to close their doors, and Nick (Santa Claus) needs to remember who he is, or the fate of Christmas might be at stake.

Bonkers but ok! I always love Kim.

🎄 Following Yonder Star Premiere Date: Sunday, Dec. 15 at 8/7c Cast: Brooke D’Orsay, John Brotherton Premise: Abby Marshall (D’Orsay), once celebrated for her role as an inspirational mother on TV, is finding her real life in shambles after dealing with a scandal. She retreats to a luxury Vermont resort for Christmas only to find herself without a room due to a booking mishap. All the local hotels are booked up due to a rare astronomical event – a beautiful star said to mirror the Star of Bethlehem will appear on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Abby finds a room at a quaint B&B, owned by Tom Maguire (Brotherton), who is also a high school astronomy teacher. Since his wife’s passing, Tom has taken on a lot of extra responsibilities, including running the inn and directing the local church’s Christmas pageant. Empathizing with Tom, Abby offers to help with the pageant and various activities around the inn and finds herself enjoying both the projects and Tom’s company. Through newfound community, family and love, Abby discovers that hope sometimes comes in the most unexpected ways.

This sounds sweet.

🎄 Happy Howlidays Premiere Date: Saturday, Dec. 21 at 8/7c Cast: Jessica Lowndes (Major Crimes), opposite the to-be-announced winner of Finding Mr. Christmas Premise: Mia (Lowndes), a meticulous webpage editor for the Seattle Tourism Board, finds herself unexpectedly navigating the holidays alone. As the only one working, she’s drawn into an unusual encounter when she encounters a stray dog. Unsure how to handle the situation, she crosses paths with Max (Winner of Finding Mr. Christmas), a dog shelter owner. Mia agrees to let Max’s ailing dog find solace with her newfound companion, in exchange for Max showing her the hidden gems of Seattle. Through their journey together, they both step out of their comfort zones, discovering new perspectives and forming a meaningful connection.

Sure. I guess it'll be fun to watch Finding Mr. Christmas and then get to watch him in action.

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