#Corporate Yacht Party
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Corporate Yacht Parties in Dubai: The Ultimate Guide to Planning a Successful Event
Introduction:
A corporate yacht party is a great way to celebrate a special occasion or simply reward your employees for their hard work. With its stunning skyline, luxurious hotels, and world-class amenities, Dubai is the perfect place to host a corporate yacht party that your guests will never forget.
In this blog post, we'll walk you through everything you need to know about planning a corporate yacht party in Dubai, from choosing the right yacht to finding the perfect caterer. We'll also share some tips for making your event a success.
Body:
1. Choosing the right yacht
The first step in planning a corporate yacht party is choosing the right yacht. There are a variety of yachts available to charter in Dubai, so it's important to consider the size of your guest list, the type of event you're hosting, and your budget.
If you're hosting a small event for up to 20 guests, a smaller yacht may be sufficient. However, if you're hosting a larger event or a formal event, you'll need a larger yacht.
You'll also need to decide what type of yacht you want. There are motor yachts, sailing yachts, and hybrid yachts available. Motor yachts are the most popular choice for corporate events, as they're more luxurious and offer more amenities. Sailing yachts are a more romantic option, and hybrid yachts offer the best of both worlds.
2. Finding the perfect caterer
Once you've chosen the right yacht, you need to find the perfect caterer. The caterer will be responsible for providing food and drinks for your guests.
When choosing a caterer, it's important to consider the type of food you want to serve, your budget, and the availability of the caterer on the date of your event.
3. Planning the entertainment
No corporate yacht party is complete without entertainment. You can choose from a variety of options, such as live music, DJs, or dancers.
If you're hosting a formal event, you may want to hire a string quartet or a jazz band. If you're hosting a more casual event, you could hire a DJ or a group of dancers.
4. Arranging transportation
You'll also need to arrange transportation for your guests to and from the yacht. You can hire a private car service or a water taxi.
5. Planning the logistics
There are a few other logistics you'll need to take care of when planning a corporate yacht party, such as obtaining a permit, hiring security, and providing sunscreen and towels for your guests.
6. Tips for making your corporate yacht party a success
Here are a few tips for making your corporate yacht party a success:
Plan ahead: The earlier you start planning, the more time you'll have to get everything in order.
Be organized: Create a checklist of all the tasks that need to be completed and assign them to different people.
Communicate with your guests: Let your guests know the date, time, and location of the event in advance. Also, provide them with any other important information, such as the dress code and what to bring.
Be flexible: Things don't always go according to plan, so be prepared to be flexible and make adjustments as needed.
Have fun: This is your event, so relax and enjoy yourself.
Conclusion:
Planning a corporate Yacht Booking Dubai can be a lot of work, but it's definitely worth it. By following the tips in this blog post, you can create an event that your guests will never forget.
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#do the people who write/edit/publish/approve these articles not hear how insanely dystopian this sounds...#capitalism#reminder this is not a free market#in fact the USA is only rated around the 25th least govt regulated market#and isn't it convenient#how it's the ultrawealthy corporate lobbying groups who are able to influence much of what regulations the USA DOES have 🙄#groups like ALEC that are comically evil - like straight up cartoon villains#Cruella de Vil irl type shit#and they just WRITE LAWS that will make them richer at the expensive of all the rest#and essentially legally bribe the actual so-called lawmakers to push their bills through#that isn't democracy... obviously#turns out the invisible hand is just a giant goddamn middle finger. shocking.#capitalism as a theoretical concept relies on the idea that transactions will be entirely or at least predominantly voluntary#and that both parties in the transaction will act out of self interest#but somehow everyone making transactions out of pure self interest and nothing more#ends up working to the benefit of society on the whole#which doesn't really hold water to begin with but gets even more laughable when you take into account that#it falls apart at stage 1 when you realize transactions can't be truly voluntary if#one party is struggling for survival and the other just wants a 7th yacht
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A Note On Organizing A Private Yacht Party In Australia
It is good to remain prepared to organize a party in a luxury yacht when you explore the Australian waters. There are specific
things that you must remember. The short blog attempts to guide you in this context. Read on!
Choose a reputable yacht
It should be a priority to choose a reputed yacht. Read reviews before you hire the services from a Private Yacht Party in Australia. You can get relevant details from the testimonials. Accordingly, you can hire a yacht for the party. It will not be a hassle.
Hire an event organizer
One of the essential things that you must do is hiring a renowned event organizer for the party. You don’t have to shoulder the responsibility of arranging various things. The experts will take care of everything. They have rich experience in organizing various parties. Remember to discuss the rates before you hire them. Visit their website and explore the services before you hire them.
#Private Yacht Party in Australia#Yacht Party Organizer in Sydney#Luxury Yacht Parties in Sydney#Event Yacht Rental#Corporate Event Yacht#Corporate Yacht Events in Sydney
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money, money, money
normal!max verstappen x billionaire!reader
w.c.: 6.8k
warnings: curse words, allusions to sex, RUDE people, sprinkle of angst (?)
summary: you introduce max to the good and bad sides of having money.
a/n: roughly inspired by crazy rich asians- one of my fav movies!!!
photo credits from pinterest :)
it was no secret to the majority of the world that your bloodline was rich- filthy rich. with your father’s side of the family owning the equivalent of half a small country and your mother’s side of the family the owners of several major corporations, you had no lack of paper bills in your bank accounts.
along with your siblings and your cousins, you grew up pampered, only going to your country’s best schools and wearing only the latest fashion. you were picked up by a chauffeur in a personal sleek black bentley and had a team of maids at your beck and call. hell, you were even granted access to a private jet in case you wanted to fly somewhere exotic just for fun!
as a child without a sense of the value of money, you thought all children lived like this. every birthday, you expected only the very best from your parents. on your sixth birthday, your parents closed down disneyland and let the kids rampage throughout the park. for your cousin’s grade school graduation, your aunt bought an entire cruise liner (company) and held a week-long party on the water to celebrate. when your little brother passed his driver’s license, your father bought him a customized ferrari pista (that he might have crashed three days in) as his first car. when christmas came by, your grandma flew in your entire family to her private island in first class, and surprised all the kids with their very own mini play homes in the backyard that were each the size of a small apartment.
slowly, as you matured, you realized how lucky you were. while eating the caviar and champagne at the expensive gala, the homeless were out in the cold, eating the leftover crusts in oily crumpled pizza boxes that they fished out of the trash. each dollar in your bank accounts could go to sick children whose parents couldn’t pay the hospital bills for, and instead, they were going to mega yachts that sat in the monaco bay most of the year. besides, wouldn’t your parents' money run out some time?
it seemed that many of your cousins and siblings didn’t give a fuck. you watched them exponentially abuse their power, blowing through thousands of grands for luxury cars they drove only once and exclusive rooftop parties where they swam in pools of champagne. one by one, you saw them drop out of school and spend every day as the life of the party. once they rapidly grew out of the excuse of being “young, naive, and not knowing better” their reputation to the general public became “spoiled and out-of-touch” with society.
you of course, weren’t totally exempt from this. you had to admit that you occasionally spent a few k on a nice little bag for yourself, or had an occasional trip to bali for some sun. however, you focused much more on your studies and helping others than partying. instead of spending your draining your mother’s company assets, wouldn’t it be better to have your own? why wield a black card embellished with your father’s name in gold when it could be your own name? with your own money, you could also donate huge amounts to people in need- all under your name.
slowly, you built up your own credible business using the knowledge you gained, and it soon skyrocketed into a world-wide profitable company.
even with such success however, all your siblings and cousins laughed at you. running a company? they had chuckled, in their balenciaga suits and miu miu dresses. why do such tedious work when you can just marry into a rich family?
rich family, you scoff, looking at one of your cousins at the yearly family party that your family threw. though she was dressed to the nines, hair done up and jewelry glistening on her neck, she looked absolutely miserable. her husband, that everyone knew she had just married “for the money” stood on the opposite end of the room, flirting unashamedly with a rather uncomfortable looking waiter. that was really funny, considering that your cousin had been bragging about how much her husband loved her at the last function. she had even shoved a picture of her next to a humongous flower bouquet into your face, teasingly stating how “you never had this experience before, huh?”
your brother wasn’t that much different. although he looked rather successful with a big quarter of your mother’s company stocks, you knew that he was in major debt from burning through his bank accounts gambling at casinos around the world. he paraded around the room with his wife, who hung on his arm so proudly, but only because she didn’t know a thing. if you hinted at your brother’s little “problem,” you knew that she would have the divorce papers ready by afternoon the next day.
as the party went on and the alcohol broke down the painstakingly-built facades of your family’s relationships, you began to stop envying their so-called perfect lives. you realized that all they knew about was money. what did they know about love?
love to you was a kind man with blue eyes that crinkled whenever he smiled at you, light brown hair that was oh-so-soft to run through with your hands, and a soothing voice with a twinge of an accent and slight lisp. love smelled like his soft cologne, and tasted like the spiced sweetbreads he would bake on the weekends.
max was the total opposite from the cocky and money-hungry douchebags from your home country that were more attracted to your wallet and family influence, which was what you liked about him. even the way you met him was different. usually, the men would make it all about themselves, trying to impress you with their “achievements” (owning three ferraris is not a keystone achievement, david) or throwing technical jargon at you to sound smart. if you somehow invited them on a second date, they always showed up late and would tear off their clothes the second they got in the house, expecting to get to third base immediately. however, you met max through a friend of a friend at a small party in monaco. he could barely look you in the eyes and stuttered through his sentences, which you found quite refreshing compared to the arrogant guys that you usually encountered. on your first date, he got you some rather wilty looking tulips, but also brought some homemade bread that you swore was the best you ever ate. on the third date, he yapped about all the flags of all the countries he knew, but you didn’t mind because he let you ramble your own interests after. before long, you moved in with him in his apartment on the edge of monaco, and had the honor of calling him your boyfriend.
so now, lying in his arms on his tiny bed, you felt more at home than ever.
the sunlight streams in through the windows above his bed, casting a glow across his face and filtering through his impossibly long eyelashes. you take a minute to admire the angelic scene, before one his cats leaps off of who-knows-where and jumps on his face.
he yelps, and unwinds his arm from around you to softly push who you assume to be sassy away from his head.
you flash a glare at sassy for ruining such a nice moment, before picking her up and attempt to “throw” her off the bed.
unfortunately, max yanks her out of your hands before you are able to.
“hey!” he says in a chastising tone. “be nice to sassy. i’m sure she didn’t mean to.”
max sits up on the bed and gives sassy a few head scratches before placing a kiss on her soft head. sassy meows at you, which you swear is in a mocking tone. across the room, jimmy sprints over and takes a spot next to max, purring for head scratches too, effectively pushing you off the bed.
you didn’t understand how your boyfriend couldn’t see that his cats were literally devils. you were basically subject to their abuse every day (i.e. random ankle attacks, knocking over all you fragile items, unplugging your devices, cat hair in your food, and the worst one, stealing max away from you). scowling, you surrender your rightful spot on the bed and pad into the kitchen in your slippers to start the coffee.
it’s not until both the coffee and breakfast is ready when max finally enters the kitchen, now freshly dressed. the cats scamper around his feet, curling lovingly around his ankles.
“sorry about that, baby.” he says, pulling out his chair and taking a seat in front of his plate of food. “jimmy and sassy just wanted some love.”
you roll your eyes before settling down into your own seat.
he spears a few sausage links and eggs into his mouth before glancing at the clock. eyes widening, he shoves the rest of the food into his mouth and chugs down the hot coffee.
“so sorry, i have to run!” he sputters out, “i’m going to be late to my engineering meeting!”
he dashes to the bedroom to grab his bag before running back into the kitchen to press a kiss to your cheek in goodbye.
“have fun at work too, baby!” he yells before the front door slams closed.
sighing, you finish your plate before washing the dishes in the sink. he was always late for his engineering job at a small office in downtown monaco. max somehow always got to his office in time though, but probably because he raced his little yellow renault clio rs on the streets like he was some type of formula one driver. meanwhile, you had your “work” at home (which typically meant one phone call to your secretary to make sure everything was running smoothly, a quick scroll through your company accounts, and then netflix on the couch).
from the time you met to the time you started dating, you never got to telling max about your family history or your job. it was actually kind of unbelievable that he didn’t notice actually, even when all your clothes were covertly designer and heels were always red bottoms, or when you seemingly traveled out of the country every other weekend for company meetings. however, he never asked, so you never told.
well, that was until he came home that night.
his footsteps echo on the ground as he walks out from the bathroom, but stops before he gets into the kitchen
“hey baby,” he says, tilting his head. “what’s this?”
you stop stirring the pasta sauce, looking back to see your freshly showered boyfriend questioningly glancing at your open macbook on the couch.
you must have forgotten to close out of your company bank account tab. quickly, you throw the spoon aside, slam the laptop shut, and throw it to the side.
“that’s nothing, baby.” you say, rushing back to the kitchen and stirring the bubbling red mixture again.
“oh-kay…” he says, walking up behind you and reaching over to help strain the pasta noodles.
while straining the water out in the sink, he flashes you a quick glance. “was it like…” he whispers quietly. “adult material or something?? is that why you didn’t want me to see it?”
what?
you look back him, an unimpressed look at your face. “adult material, max???” you repeat back at him. “no. i was not watching adult material on my work laptop.”
“okay, whatever you say, baby.” max says, clearly not believing you. clearing his throat, he continues. “so, um… anyways, my coworker george was talking about how he met his boyfriend alex's parents over the weekend, and i realized that i never met your parents before. do you think we can maybe pay them a visit?"
you freeze, halfway sliding out a plate of garlic bread from the oven.
“i- um, don’t think that’s wise, maxie.” you reply quietly.
your boyfriend wrinkles his brow. he stops the plating of the noodles and walks over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“is it…is it because they are assholes?” he asks, looking at you seriously. “cause it’s okay if they are- i understand, because my dad…my dad is not very kind either.”
you can’t help to think about your family in your home country. you could never take your maxie there. they would rip him to shreds, degrading him for being rather plain and destitute compared to them. you would never want to put your boyfriend through your parents, either, who would probably criticize him for wanting to marry you just for the money, even if max didn’t know a goddamn thing about how you earned your funds.
you rub your face. “no, it’s not that.” you sigh, “i- mean- it’s just complicated over there in my home country. i don’t want you to feel pressure or uncomfortable-”
max cuts you off with a hug, and presses a kiss to your cheek. “i really don’t mind, baby. i’d really like to meet the people who made such a kind and beautiful person like you.”
you blush a little at his words. even if you have an uneasy feeling to your stomach, you nod lightly. it can’t be that bad, right?
if you were to take max over to your home country, there was no doubt he would be exposed to your massive fame and influence there. to slowly ease him into the more luxurious side of your life, you first introduce the luxuries of a private jet the day you take off from the airport.
“a private JET???” your boyfriend shrieks, looking at his speciality boarding pass.
hurriedly, you shush him to avoid the glares of other travelers within a yelling distance of you both.
“max, please be quiet.” you hiss into his ear. “yes, it says private jet.”
maneuvering your cart with your lv-branded luggage to the side of the terminal, along with max’s one small carry-on and two pet cages with the reincarnations of the devil inside, you pull out your phone to check the location of the driver who would take you to the separate private-jet entrance.
like magic, he materializes behind you, tapping you on the shoulder.
politely, he takes your horde of luggages and max’s items before politely gesturing towards a massive black lincoln that was definitely not parked there before.
“this way miss,” he says curtly, before reaching forward to open the car door for you.
max, snapping out of his confusion, snaps his hand out first and roughly yanks the door open, and nearly hitting both you and the driver.
“i’ll open the door for my own girlfriend, thanks!” he retorts, glaring suspiciously at the driver, who just shrugs and starts loading the luggage into the back of the car.
when max climbs into the spacious back of the lincoln, you can’t help but giggle into your hand.
“max, you need to relax,” you laugh, placing a calming hand on max’s leg. “he’s my driver. it’s his job to open the door, okay?”
your boyfriend sniffs, pouting a little.
“fine.”
after boarding the jet and ascending safely into the air, you settle into your padded chair. meanwhile, max runs around the jet like a little kid, pointing out the “special features,” much to the amusement of the staff.
“omg, baby, look!” he yells, pointing at a wooden-paneled door behind your chair. “the bathroom is huge!”
you nod, and hum in agreement, sparing a quick glance at max, who was opening and closing the door as if it would change what was behind it.
he then charges toward a cabinet near the middle of the plane, which is stuffed to the brim with your favorite snacks. “wow!” he shouts, before sprinting towards a similar cabinet further down, which you know is the alcohol storage area.
there’s a moment of silence before max steps into view with three gin and tonics and one of your favorite drinks in hand. he carefully sets them down in front of you, batting away a disgruntled-looking bartender who held a half-open bottle of gin that you assumed he was in the middle of pouring when max snatched the bottle away.
you apologize profusely to the bartender while max watches on, straight up chugging his drinks.
“this is wild!!” he whispers, pointing to the cups in front of him.
no more than five minutes after sending the bartender away with a little tip, max has already finished two of his three gin and tonics and was already bounding out of his seat to explore the rest of the plane.
once you hear his exclamations of joy from the back of the plane, you know he has discovered the master bedroom.
before you have a chance to take a sip of your own drink, max basically pounces on you and drags you towards the private bedroom. your boyfriend pushes you onto the soft bed, yells out the door.
“give us a little bit of privacy, okay?” he shouts to no one in particular, before slamming the door shut.
he turns back to your figure lying spread-eagle in the bed, and wiggles his eyebrows.
max is the first one to talk after you both lay on the bed, lips swollen and cheeks red.
“so…?” he says, running a hand down your back.
“so… what?” you ask, looking up at him from your position sprawled on top of him. from your point of view, you could feel the slight rise and fall of his chest, his slightly damp hair, and the way his blue, blue eyes study your face.
“so, when were you going to tell me that you were…like…rich?” he replies.
you maneuver yourself to a sitting position on your boyfriend’s lap, looking him nervously.
“well…” you remark, twiddling your thumbs. this wasn’t the way you thought you were going to break the news to max.
“i grew up more- comfortably in my home country, thanks to my family and their connections. i was lucky to not have to worry about money at all. when i became a little older, i separated myself from the rest of my siblings and cousins to form and take care of my own company. then, on a business trip, i met you and then.. yeah, you know what happens next.”
an awkward silence fills the room, with max digesting the information and you toying with a stray thread from the bedcovers.
your boyfriend opens his mouth slowly.
“a company?” he questions, turning to you. “what company?”
you scramble off the bed for your phone, and type something quick in the search bar. when you find what you are looking for, you rotate the phone towards your boyfriend, the glowing screen reflecting on his features.
it only takes one or two seconds for max to scan and decipher the words on the screen.
“YOU’RE THE CEO OF REDBULL??” max shouts.
when the wheels of your private jet hit the bumpy runway, it was midnight. your pilot’s voice crackles on the intercom, politely notifying you that you have arrived, and are free to disembark whenever you’d like. outside, you can see several workers unloading your luggage, along with jimmy and sassy in their pet carriers.
you turn to max, who was intensely staring at his screen, unmoving. you assume he was still in the middle of his fervent wikipedia dive of you and your family’s entire history that he insisted on learning, once he got over the initial shock.
“max,” you say, nudging him slightly.
he doesn’t budge, eyes trained like an eagle on his screen.
you pull on sweatshirt before nudging him again, this time a little harder. “max, come on, we gotta go.”
he snaps up, and pockets his phone before mock saluting you. “yes, of course, miss ceo! whatever you say!”
you roll your eyes. max was a little extra sometimes.
he trails behind you obediently as you climb down the stairs to get off the plane, and into a sleek black limousine.
before long, you find yourself on the familiar streets and freeways that you used to frequent when you were younger. it feels the slightest bit nostalgic, so different from the streets of monaco that you became used to thanks to max.
you look back to find max tilting his head at you.
“where to now, miss ceo?” he asks in a curious tone.
you smile.
”i know just the place.”
even when it was close to three am, the downtown streets were still packed with people. vendors engulfed the street sides, selling delicious soups and snacks beckoned to people, and little shops with bright signs advertised souvenirs, clothing, stationary, and everything in between. the car inches to a stop when you come upon a familiar old building that you remember visiting often as a child. bright glittery letters on the storefront and windows exclaim, “lombardi ice cream shop.” a line of people streams out the door, an ode to the delicious creamy treats that the shop has been selling for years. god, you could basically taste the ice cream on your tongue already.
you practically leap out of the car, dragging max with you towards the front of the shop. the red bottoms of your heels click against the concrete, turning many heads in the crowd along the sidewalk. you hear gasps of shock and a few whispers of your name along the crowd. they automatically parts like moses and the red sea when you get closer. max hesitates, wide eyed, at the edge of the crowd.
”c’mon,” you laugh, taking his hand and leading him through the people.
an old woman, back hunched with age, waddles out of the kitchen and greets you warmly when you arrive at the counter. without realizing, a warm feeling spreads across your chest. she was basically like a second mother to you, considering you spent your entire childhood frequenting this shop with your cousins and siblings. whenever you visited your home country, you would always make sure to pop by her shop (not that she needed your business- her lines always curled around the block, day and night).
“ahh!! welcome back, honey,” she exclaims, wiping her wrinkled hands on her apron. “you’ve gotten so beautiful!” throwing a glance at a shy max hesitantly hidden behind you, she sends you an eyebrow raise. “ah, and i see you brought a boy back huh?”
you reach over to give the weathered old woman a hug, blushing. “hello, momma lella! yes, this is my boyfriend max.”
max waves a polite hello, one hand still nervously holding yours.
the elderly woman smiles kindly at max, not hiding how she looks him up and down. “well, i approve!” she states, giving you a thumbs up and a wink. “polite and handsome!”
without another word, she grabs the largest size cup and fills it to the brim with creamy chocolate ice cream. sprinkling a good amount of sprinkles and shoving two spoons into the cup, she offers it to you.
“on the house!”
you and max sit on the sidewalk with the cup of ice cream, watching people walk by and cars zoom through the traffic. occasionally, max takes his spoon and shovels a large helping of chocolate ice cream into his mouth.
“you look like you’re really enjoying the ice cream,” you state, noticing the chocolate smeared over the corners of his mouth.
max just smiles at you in the way he always does, with the dimples and the crinkle in his eyes.
suddenly, your moment is ruined when a flash goes off in your face.
max jerks back, rubbing his eyes, not used to the invasive cameras that made up your childhood.
you whip around towards the flash, seeing a small herd of paparazzi smiling wickedly. a rare spotting of you in back in your home country for the first time in years? that was payday for them. a flash of anger shoots through you, causing you to throw your wooden spoon at their expensive cameras. unfortunately, it just bounces off of the arm of a short looking man carrying a heavy duty camera.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?” you yell, shooing them away from max. “can you just leave us alone for one second?”
bothersome paparazzi like this was common when you grew up in a family rich with drama and money. you recall them camping in front of your house, shutters clicking once they saw a sign of movement. whatever mistake you made, like tripping over a small rock or fighting with your sister over a doll, was publicized and dramatized into unrecognizable stories on gossip magazines that were popular in your home country. it was a pity that this was max’s first introduction to these pests.
you pull max with you as you shove your way roughly through the paparazzi. they deserved it if you accidentally smashed someone’s lens.
max stumbles behind you.
“wha-?” he says, holding the half-empty chocolate ice cream. “where are we going?”
you huff. “away from those wannabe photographers- i hate them so much.”
you flip open your phone to call your chauffeur, but your app notifies you it would take a total of ten minutes for him to weave through traffic to get to you both. in the distance, the paparazzi raise their cameras again, shutters clicking as they photograph your pissed off expression and a dumbfounded max next to you. you can practically see the headlines tomorrow- ‘bratty billionaire back in country!!’
like a godsend, a futuristic-looking car rumbles to life next to you. that will probably get you home and away from these fuckers fast, right? hurriedly, you march over to the disgruntled middle-aged man in the passengers’ seat.
“five million for your car- right now.” you say, dead serious.
the man’s eyes widen comically large.
“five mi-“
you cut him off quickly, seeing the paparazzi darting closer to max, who was still holding the ice cream and eyeing the cameras wearily.
“yes, five million. i’ll mail you the check.”
without another word, the man tosses you the keys and hefts himself out of the car. you leap into the drivers seat just as he gets out, and jam your finger on the window down button to beckon max into the car immediately.
the moment he sits down on the expensive-looking leather seats, you rev the engine and leave the paparazzi behind in the dust.
it’s not until you are halfway back to your penthouse when max finally speaks.
“this is a super nice car,” he states, running his hand against the interior side panels.
you look around, really noticing the detailings of the car. the sides look like they are made with some carbon fiber material, and it seemed like it didn’t even have a door handle- just straps you pull on the corner of the dashboard.
”yeah, i guess so,” you admit. “i just bought this off of that dude back there in order to get away from the damn paparazzi.”
max wrinkles his brows.
“you bought-?? what??? you know this is an aston martin valkyrie, right?”
the next morning, when the sun shines through the skyline windows lining your penthouse, you keep your promise by instructing one of your staff to send the promised check to the random guy on the street (fernando, he said his name was). your boyfriend scrolls idly on his phone next to you, probably scrolling through your family’s lengthy wikipedia page again. his cats stamp around your white bedsheets as if they owned the place. you think about what you both could do today. perhaps visit the children’s hospital? before moving to monaco, you frequented many small hospitals, bringing gifts for the children. it always felt good seeing the sick kids light up with joy. or, you could go shopping, although you did spend a little bit much on the random car yesterday. or-
before you can complete your thought, a familiar ringtone lights up the screen of your phone. your mother’s name lights up your phone, as if taunting you. before you second-guess yourself, you smash your finger into the green ‘answer’ button and place the phone to your ear.
your mother’s voice flows through the speakers, sending a wave of nostalgia throughout your body.
“darling!” the voice hums, “why didn’t you tell me that you were back in your home country? i had to find out over the silly little paparazzi pictures on the newspapers!”
damn it, you think, cursing silently in your head. it seemed that the paparazzi from yesterday night had probably sold your pictures to some trashy gossip magazine that had caught the attention of your mother. that meant that you had to face your family sooner or later.
“hello, mother,” you reply curtly, trying to avoid the topic. “how may i help you?”
your mother tuts through the speakerphone. “oh, your own mother can’t just call to say hello?”
you groan. “no- i mean yes-“
your mother cuts you off, laughing. “i’m kidding, darling. i just wanted to let you know that i’m hosting a party at our estate tomorrow, to celebrate your arrival! you’ve been in monaco for a god-awful long time. your cousins and siblings will be coming too- i’m sure they’ll all excited to see you after your hiatus in monaco!”
you hesitate before responding. your first instinct was to say no, because everybody knew full well that the only reason your cousins and siblings even bothered to show up at these kind of events is to save face and show off their new ridiculously expensive clothing and cars, not to welcome you. however, this also gave you a chance for max to meet your parents, like he wanted back in monaco. it isn’t a hard choice when you agree to meet the next day.
max revs the engine once again as he pulls the valkyrie to stop in front of the valet at the front of your family’s estate.
through the tinted windows of the car, you see one of your snobby cousins, dressed in an jeweled gown, jump at the loud sound and clutch her husband’s arm tighter however, her husband ignores her to get a good look at your aston martin supercar, which makes you laugh. to your surprise, he is not the only one. a few other family members gather around, admiring the hypercar.
in the passenger’s seat, max’s mischievous grin slowly turns into a frown of nervousness as he spots the crowd of people gathering around you both. you know it must look intimidating, meeting your significant other’s family, especially when they had such high expectations of you. you place a kiss on his cheek.
“you ready, maxie?” you ask, patting his shoulder comfortingly.
he nods, before opening the car door.
like the gentleman he is, max quickly hurries over to the passenger’s side of the car to help you out of the car. you gladly take his hand, and step out of the vehicle daintily. straight away, you can hear the confused mutterings and jealous glares of your family members start up, which follow the both of you into the house.
like expected, your childhood home is decorated a little over the top. people mingle under crystal chandeliers around staircases draped with real flowers. from the second living room, music drifts out that sounds suspiciously like martin garrix. a fancy bar is set up a room that was usually the dining room, with a bottle of every single alcohol you can ever think of. the courtyard, usually empty save a few plants, was turned into outdoor buffet bar, complete with a five story cake and massive chocolate fountain.
once inside, max attempts to introduce himself to the first friendly-looking family member that he sees, which happens to be your aunt on your mother’s side. he sticks out his hand, a smile gracing his face.
“hi, my name is max,” he says, “i’m your niece’s boyfriend.”
your aunt nods politely, shaking his hand.
“hello max,” she says, visibly studying him, “what are you, a ceo? businessman? sports star?”
”auntie!” you say, shocked, cutting max off from his response. that rude bitch. although she looked relatively kind from the outside, all she really cared about anyone was their power and money. which was probably why your cousin married a mega popstar that was away half the time. like the rest of your family, money trumped true love. “you can’t just start a conversation like that!”
max shakes his head, “no, no, it’s alright. i’m an engineer.”
“ah,” your aunt says, knowingly. taking a sip of her champagne, she continues, “head engineer, huh? of what company?”
thinking he might have misheard her, max corrects her, “oh- no, not head engineer, just an engineer, like in an office.”
your great-aunt’s friendly demeanor automatically drops.
“just an engineer?” she responds, coldly.
you notice how max’s face falls the slightest bit, before he plasters a fake polite smile on his face. he shuffles uncomfortably, glancing at you, as if saying, did i say something wrong?
before you can say something rather rude to your aunt, a hand clasps your shoulder. turning around, your brother beams at you.
“sister!” he exclaims. “i haven’t seen you in a hot sec. too busy partying in monaco, huh? or doing your silly little business things for redbull?”
he then eyes max, to which he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “who’s this, huh? your boyfriend?”
”yes,” you snap, still a little pissed from your aunt’s rude reaction.
your brother puts his hands up jokingly, in a surrender position. “damn, okay, no need to be defensive.”
he sticks out his hand to your boyfriend, who takes it gladly.
“what’s up, dude,” your brother says, shaking max’s hand. “i saw you pull up with my sister in that sick aston martin valkyrie! you must have some insane connections- the waitlist for that baby is like years long.”
your aunt answers before your boyfriend can.
“there’s no way he could have bought that car- he’s just an office engineer at some company at who knows where,” she says pointedly.
hearing this, your brother’s impressed look turns into a sneer of disdain. he steps back from max in disgust, as if he had just turned into some horrible monster. he chuckles at you.
”wow, sister, you’ve outdone yourself huh? an office engineer?”
your family, slowly becoming aware of something going on, turns towards the scene. a wide-eyed martin garrix turns off the booming music in the back.
you shove your brother further away from max, causing the glass of champagne to spill onto your brother’s designer suit.
“what’s wrong with you?” you exclaim angrily. “at least he has a job, unlike you!”
ignoring the bubbling liquid staining his suit and your enraged expression, he turns toward max, still eyeing him with disgust. “how pathetic, leeching off of my sister’s money as a ceo? ha, you probably used her card to buy that valkyrie, didn’t you?”
next to you, stunned into silence, max’s blue eyes begin to fill with tears.
behind you, your aunt lets out a cackle of laughter, along with a few members of the crowd.
you just about launch yourself at your brother, wanting more than anything to bash his head in.
as if it couldn’t get worse, your mother pushes through the crowd gathered around you both, and grabs your arm before you can make contact with your brother.
“hey!” she yells, yanking you back. “what is going on here?”
your brother grins, pointing at max. “your precious daughter went and got herself a little gold digger boyfriend- and look, he’s crying!”
you glance over to max, heart sinking. like your brother said, he had a tear running down his face, and he shook a little with embarrassment. it reminded you of a story that max once told you, how his father had often upset him as a child when he was forced to do karting. an anger flared inside of you. max had only wanted to be a good boyfriend and introduce himself to your family, but was in turn ridiculed in front of a crowd by your hypocrite brother.
your mother turns to max, then turns to you.
“is this true, darling?” she asks, tilting her head. “does he exploit you for money?”
does max exploit you for money? you can hardly even comprehend the ridiculous sentence. you roughly yank your arm out of your mother’s grasp and march over to max. you lace your fingers through his, giving his hand a squeeze.
you turn towards your chuckling brother. he won’t be laughing soon.
“you’re really one to talk, brother! you think you’re hot shit, with a large chunk of mother’s company stocks. well, wouldn't it be a shame if everyone knew that you are in debt from your uncontrollable gambling problem, hmm? i wonder what your wife feels about that?”
you take comfort in the way the smug smile drops from your brother’s face, now replaced with a withering glare. the silent crowd gathered around the scene lets out a gasp, in light of this news. their focus now was trained on your brother instead of max.
“and you!” you exclaim, turning to your aunt. “since you think the word gold digger is so funny, auntie, wouldn’t you like to know how your own daughter is one, huh?”
your aunt jerks back, not used to the crowd’s attention trained on her, along with your harsh words.
”yeah,” you continue, “if you would stop judging people based on their worth in money, you might have been able to see that all she does is spend her husband‘s money on inane things in order to ignore his multiple affairs!”
from the back of the room, you hear your cousin burst into tears while her mother, your aunt, standing in front of you, turns as red as a tomato.
gently, you lead max towards the gilded gold front door. your family gives you judgemental looks as you make your way through the crowd. turning back one last time before you step out, you address the crowd. “don’t think any of you guys are any better. all you lot do is leech off of trust fund money!”
max stays silent all the way to your penthouse, as do you. after a hot shower, you bundle him up in your soft fluffy blankets until he looks the puft marshmallow man. you can’t help but feel terrible. he silently shuffles towards you, which you respond by pulling his head against your chest. jimmy and sassy watch wearily from a distance on the carpet.
you are the first to cut through the silence.
“i am so sorry that my family did that to you, maxie.”
he doesn’t answer, but the new tears that soak your expensive silk pajama set does the answering for him.
you run your hand through his damp strands of light brown hair, and rub his back comfortingly.
he pulls back from your embrace to wipe his eyes briefly.
“why do you love me?” he hiccups, cheeks wet with tears. “like- i have no money, two cats that you hate, and- and- a tiny apartment-“
“max!” you say, cutting him off from his ramblings. “listen to me.”
you look into his watery eyes, eyelashes wet with tears.
”i really don’t care if you lived in a literal dirt hole with no job, or if you were a formula one world champion. i would love you no matter what. i love your blue eyes and your pouty lips and your lisp, and your cologne, and the bread that you bake, and your little apartment and even though it may not seem like it, i love your stupid cats too.“
he chuckles wetly at the last part of your sentence.
you kiss the top of his head.
”you don’t know how much i love you, max emillian verstappen.”
a devious grin slips onto his face. he shoots you a sultry look.
“show me.”
and you do.
later, when max lays asleep on the bed, love bites on his neck, face slightly flushed, and back bare, you get up to fetch your phone.
the person you seek is only a few taps away. he picks up on the second ring, politely greeting you even though it was an ungodly hour. you tell him your request, but he hesitates slightly.
”are you sure-“
you cut your financial advisor off as politely as possible.
“yes, that’s right. i would like to buy the entirety of my mother’s companies and my father’s estates.”
the sounds of pencil scratching paper fills your ears before your financial advisor lets out a sound of approval.
“right away, ma’am!”
a/n: APOLOGIES for my week-long hiatus!! take this fic as an apology... your normal spinoff series! scheduling will resume shortly <3
also let me know if you have a better name for this piece- i was STRUGGLING trying to name this one ;-;
#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 rpf fic#f1 imagine#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#mv1 x y/n#mv1 x reader#mv1 x you#📝
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Organizing a corporate event after a stressful quarter or year has many benefits; ranging from employee motivation to team building. If you want your upcoming corporate event to be unique and memorable, host it on a yacht.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1028861477350283583
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some other interesting things I saw today on my four mile march along Lake Union:
1. a "sorry I missed you" card left on a mailbox cluster for houseboats, from the Nielsen ratings corporation. immediate reactions: can't believe Nielsen ratings are still a thing, it sort of makes sense to target houseboats since they must be 99% owned by boomers, but wouldn't they not usually have cable? maybe they have satellite. i thought about stealing the card because I've always wanted to be a Nielsen household specifically for the purposes of data spoilage
2. very stereotypical German Shepherd Guy laboriously walking his clearly purebred and already basically crippled shepherd yearling on, of course, a prong collar, doing absolutely zero food or praise reinforcement. dog was visibly nervous. I smiled at him because I wanted to pet a puppy, no response
3. millennial woman walking a pug past me while on her phone, just long enough to overhear the four words "kennel cough last year" as she passed. i bet it did ma'am
4. about twenty yacht dealerships. seriously why aren't we vandalizing these places
5. the fascinating and ancient China Harbor restaurant which has been a rotting, monolithic black tiled cube down at the waterfront for decades. apparently it shared a building with a swimming pool, that cannot smell good to either party. I've always wanted to go to China Harbour but it's apparently one of those nightmarish buffets that have mostly disappeared and not one of the good ones. like surviving from the 1950s type of buffet.
photographs don't do the looming effect of this architecture enough credit. also apparently they finally closed last month with a 3.1 rating on yelp
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Here's the thing: Republicans are the party of the rich, but policies that help the rich fuck everyone else up, so they are inherently unpopular. Republicans hitch their wagons to white supremacists and religious fanatics who will gladly vote for them in hopes of bringing their own agenda. Rich people believe that their money is able to keep them unaffected by their social policies that harm mostly minorities.
Present day: Religious Fanatics and White Supremacists have gone too far. Their plans are so corrosive that they will actually affect the rich; Not to mention, there are a lot of nouveau rich who are also these fanatics.
So now, these rich people, "never-trumpers" want to join the democratic party and make it into a party for them. They are anti-progressive because they don't want to pay more taxes and they don't want more regulations. They want a milquetoast white democrat leader, and not one like Joe Biden who has embraced progressive policies and is now further left than 2008.
They don't want Kamala or Pete Buttigieg or Corey Booker or that skater boi from texas. They were to the left of Biden when they ran in the 2019 primary. They want someone to the right of Biden. A more corporate friendly democrat.
And keep in mind, these republicans have always been racist. And have always been white supremacist for them. This departure from the republican party is not a moral one. It's because the oppression that these Trump Republicans want isn't profitable.
These republicans were fine with rounding up Black people on bullshit charges and sending them to prison to do make them money on prison labor. (Biden ended the use of private prisons on a Federal Level fyi). They're not fine with rounding up 20 million undocumented people and putting them in internment camps and deporting them, that would cost so much money that would be better spent giving to them via tax cuts. (I bet you they'll get on board when someone touts the idea of using the undocumented people for unpaid labor)
They're okay with banning abortions or just limiting. They're not okay with stripping all of woman's freedoms (because many of them are women and like to spend the money they have) because women going back into the homes, means the spending power of the economy shrinks.
Less Women and Men of color going to college means less student loan payments. Not to mention, the policies that Trump will enact with Project 2025, would just wreck the economy. Government workers would lose their jobs. Facilities and infrastructure would crumble. The middle class would all but disappear, the gap between the poor and rich would grow, to the point where there is just no more money to extract from anyone in the lower classes. The money would have to come from them.
If trump gets in office by 2028 there will be so many evictions, its impossible to keep up. The rich would have to bribe police officers (made legal by the supreme court btw) to get people evicted. Not all rich people are rich equally. Those who can afford to bribe will be new upper class, those who can't will be suckers.
FDIC will be gone. So imagine you're one of those rich suckers, and the bank you have your money goes belly up cause the new upper class used it to fund their next yacht?
You can't be a tech mogul in a country with poor infrastructure. All that AI requires massive amount of electricity. How can you have any developments if your company shuts off the power every few weeks and there is no policy in place to keep it going, to fix it. Look at texas? Every hurricane gets rid of the power for weeks. Imagine when Project 2025 gets in and there really is no regulation at all.
What is the point of all this? Biden is the correct choice. He is the incumbent, he won the primary, and the election is less than four months away. This talk about replacing him is a bunch of rich assholes trying to take over the democratic party and making it into the new republican party. The literal worst night mare: socially liberal, financially conservative. They are antagonist towards the democrat's base: Black voters, because black voting population support centralized government, regulations, higher taxes, and a robust social safety network (because its literally the best way to govern)
Focus on getting people to vote for Biden or just not vote for Trump.
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Corporate
John had coasted through his twenties like he thought everyone did. He got a quick degree in business and spent the next ten years traveling, partying, and fucking... A lot. His parents let him do whatever he wanted as long as he got a degree, they didn't say anything about using the degree.
He excused his behavior because every other rich white guy he partied with was doing the same thing. He had never even had an extended conversation with someone outside of the 1 percent, and it showed.
Hey, I mean at least he was really good at the one thing he did. To the point that he wouldn't remember most nights, only waking up with women's clothes in his bed. He would start swinging his massive dick around as soon as he got drunk and it wouldn't take long for someone to drag him to bed.
But it couldn't last forever. 30 came faster than he thought and it hit him like a truck. He couldn't drink like he used to, he couldn't party as hard as wanted to. His hairline was starting to recede and his six pack was disappearing under what would soon be a small beer belly. There were starting to be consequences for his actions. And as if it couldn't get any worse for poor John, his parents let him know what his birthday present was for this year. Every year prior had been something extravagant like a yacht or a sports car, so he was really looking forward to the big gift to make 30 not seem so bad.
Two weeks before his birthday, John received a text saying that his parents would take away his generous allowance if he didn't get a job by the time he was 30. His heart skipped a beat, he thought it was some big joke. He thought back to the times his parents had asked him to get a job before but he never thought they were serious. Though they did ask a lot now that he's thinking of it, and they didn't sound like they were joking.
John texted back, "haha, but seriously what is it?" Hoping they would back off and he could go back to being the old guy at all the yacht parties he threw. But they put their put down this time, threatening his 200k a month allowance and his present he was expecting for his birthday.
One week of the adult equivalent of kicking and screaming later, John gives in. Now he only has one week before it starts to cut into his allowance. He scrambled to make a shitty resume, assuming a business degree would get him any job he wanted.
He nervously clicked on a link his dad sent him to a company that works under his father's business. He submitted his resume and waited. It didn't take long for him to get a response and John patted himself on the back for making such a good resume. Although they obviously never even opened the resume, just going off of his father's recommendation.
He set up an interview for just before his birthday, and continued to party like he was still 20. He woke up the day of the interview, hungover and still wearing his disgusting clothes from the night before. He was nearly falling asleep at the wheel as he hadn't woken up before noon in ages, 10 am was such a ridiculous time to set an interview.
He stumbled into the expensive looking building and stood in front of reception.
"How can I help you?" The young lady behind the counter asked.
"Ugh... Yeah I could think of a few ways you could help me." John winked and gave a lazy smile.
"Sir, if you don't have any business here, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." The lady raised her voice, trying to hide her discomfort.
"Whatever, I'm here for an interview."
"What's your name?"
"John Fitzgerald."
The lady looked up for a moment, recognizing the name. She shook her head in disappointment as she grabbed the phone to call that he had arrived... only thirty minutes late.
A few moments later, an older man in a tailored suit approached the front desk. He walked right past John and asked the receptionist to point him in the direction of John. The lady looked over at John and raised her eyebrows to suggest he was right there. The older man turned and put on a fake smile to hide his disapproval.
"Follow me." The man put on a cheap up beat voice.
The man walked him down to a private office and opened a closet. He grabbed a dress shirt and black dress pants and basically shoved into John's chest.
"No man that respects himself wears those clothes to an interview, put these on." He let his anger slip through a bit.
"Wait really!?" John seemed perplexed. He thought he would answer a few questions about what he liked to do and that would be it.
"Yes, go on."
John sheepishly took off his shirt, revealing the small belly that had grown over his abs. It even bounced a bit as he pulled off his shirt. He then pulled down his pants to reveal his batman boxers that did nothing hide the massive bulge between his legs.
He slipped on the dress shirt, letting it spill to his knees like a dress. Then he pulled up the dress pants and held them at his waist. They were nearly 10 inches too long around the waist, and 5 inches too short, making them ride up his calves.
"They're too big!" John complained.
The man scoffed and grabbed a belt from the closet. Though the belt was also too big, leaving John still holding up the pants.
"They're still too big!" John whined.
"Oh just shut up. How long is this supposed to take." The old man looked impatiently at his watch.
"How long is wha-" John began to ask before pausing briefly, followed by a loud burp that seemed to make the room tremble.
John tried to talk but couldn't. He felt slow and groggy, more than he had before. The only noises he could muster were grunts as a warm feeling filled his stomach. Suddenly his hips thrusted forward and he let out a grunt. John looked down in horror as a sizable beer belly was now hiding under his oversized shirt. His hips thrusted again and his belly had doubled in size, making him look pregnant. One more thrust and a loud grunt and his fat gut doubled in size once more. It bounced up and down as it filled all the room in his massive shirt, finally drooping over his waistband.
John wanted to scream, but he couldn't. The only noises that came from his mouth were moans and grunts that sounded more and more sexual the more his body changed.
His sides soon followed, growing thick love handles that widened his once skinny frame, even spreading to his lower back. His chest puffed forward as his pecs disappeared under a thick layer of fat. His soft man tits finally rested on his gut, pushing up against his shirt and making them impossible to miss.
John looked up in desperation at the older man that stood before him, but he was just staring at his watch. Though he noticed something strange. He was looking up at the man, when he could have sworn that he looked down on him when he first met him. He took pride in his height, so he would have remembered being shorter than him.
This time his body thrusted backwards, making him nearly fall with his new center of gravity. With each thrust he felt the pants get tighter and tighter until his cheeks filled out all of the room in those size 42 pants. At least he didn't have to hold them up anymore. His thighs then thickened into fat tree trunks, permanently rubbing together and squishing his dick in between. Though that last part wouldn't last long, while his ever growing fat pad swallowed inches of his dick, it began to shrink as well. He felt it recede into his soft fat pad, now only having the tip peaking out of his fat. He stuffed his hand between his meaty thighs to try and find it but it wasn't there.
John then felt pressure building up around his feet until a loud POP rang through the office. He looked down to see what happened but it was blocked by his massive gut. Though the feeling of his bare feet on the ground suggested that his feet burst out of his shoes.
His arms began to twitch fat filled them like sausages, making them drop under their own weight. His hands also doubled in size as his fingers started to look thickened. He wanted to react, but it was starting to get hard to remember what he was texting to. All he could think about was finance.
Finally his face began to change. His young and spy look got covered in soft fat and wrinkles, aging him up at least 10 years. His hairline receded as thick sideburns covered his nonexistent jawline and his stubble formed a prominent mustache and goatee combo.
John let out a loud burp as his stomach grumbled. He grunted a few more times as he desperately tried to reach his crotch, but he was unsuccessful. He noticed his boss in front of him and tilted his head back to make eye contact with the man that is now much taller than him.
"What are we doing in your office boss?" John asked.
"Oh, you just had a wardrobe malfunction that's all." The boss said as he passed John a pair of shoes and a tie. "It's on the house since you've been such a good employee the last 10 years. I certainly don't mind getting you bigger clothes when you outgrow your current ones."
John panted and grunted trying to get his shoes on, he wasn't used to the extra padding all over his body. Despite that, he knows that he has been quite fat for many years now as memories of the last 10 years of his life flood in.
"Can't forget the wedding ring." The boss said as he slipped a nice ring into John's hand. "I just love that husband of yours, he is such a great cook. No wonder you gained so much weight after your marriage. It's almost like he got you pregnant." The boss chuckled.
John's face went blank as the memories of him coming out in his thirties and marrying the man that he loves. And he remembers the positive pregnancy test he had just before his 40th birthday.
"Oh my god, you are pregnant!" The boss shouted then covered his mouth. "Your secret's safe with me. Oh and also, I'll order some massive clothes for ya so you won't have to worry about it big guy." The boss said quietly as John left his office.
#male tf#masculine#fat tf#male wg#reality change#male transformation#age progression#mpreg#preppification
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MATERIAL GIRL.
— and what do you give the girl who has everything? two rich boyfriends!
jean k. x eren y. x black!fem!reader
tags: modern au, fluff, polyamorous relationship. socialite!reader. lovergirldeepdown!reader. 4k word count. inspired by this blurb.
HAILING FROM OLD money— your father the CEO of a century old automobile brand and your mother the third generation runway model—you have seen all there is to see, worn what there is to wear, had every priceless stone dangle from your neck and fingers, and tasted the most decadent of foods. the belief that just superficial things would be enough to sway you offends you greatly. if you don’t have it, you will have it as if it’s your right at this point. it takes much more than dinner and a yacht ride to make you squeal.
and that’s what’s so tiring about the whole dating scene. the pool is filled to the brim with arrogant nepotism babies in khaki shorts and sweaters around their shoulders. they’ll never worry about a thing because daddy kisses the ass of this man and mommy grins in the face of that woman, and by god, do they make it known. if another man brags about owning original modigliani pieces over dinner, he’ll be met with an oyster shell to the eye. who are you supposed to be, some bright-eyed influencer? please. check the pedigree.
things changed when you met them, however. one in the summer, and one in the winter.
you were on the jet back home from italy when hitch, a girl you’ve known since you were a tyke, bombarded your phone with messages about christening her new penthouse with a pool party you just had to come to, lest she’d drag you there. after confirming your attendance, you rolled back over in the white leather reclining seat and pulled your silk eye mask back down, making a mental note to get your braids refreshed and place an order for a new bikini.
you’re reborn as a literal doll, the braids on the left side of your head coaxed into an intricate butterfly while the others lay flat against your scalp in faultless rows and hang low to your hipbones. white, white, white everywhere, from the nails, the strappy swimsuit, the miu miu sandals; a beautiful contrasts against your glistening ebon skin dusted with body shimmer for good measure. perfect, as usual.
hitch’s new high rise penthouse is something out of a multimillion dollar budget drama, with its dozens of crystal clear windows and modern interior. sitting far away enough from the city to avoid the hustle and bustle, but close enough to gaze at the twinkling lights, it’s practically a palace for the dreyse corporation heir.
champagne flute filled with 1820 juglar cuvée, you mingle amongst the next generation of the one percent. hitch’s friends, and your friends by proxy you assume, are a breath of fresh air. human.
but there’s one person amongst the gaggle you don’t recognize. from your spot next to the slightly tispy miss dreyse, your dark eyes glance over the rim of your ivory framed sunnies, glass rim tapping absentmindedly against lined, glossed lips. light brown mullet, slightly tanned skin, dark brown eyes...
“hitchie...” your elbow gently bumps into the blonde’s sides, snatching her out of her mild stupor. “who’s that?” you ask innocently, gesturing with your half full flute. it’s casual, inquisitive.
hitch squints a little bit, pure concentration written all over her features as she tries to put a name to the face. “oh!” when the name comes to her, her hand meets the back of your shoulder in a kinda hard slap, totally unintentional, of course. “jean, kirschtein! you know, from-” a hiccup interrupts her introduction, making her burst into a quick giggle. “-the oil company.”
the pieces begin to come together, you know the names all of the elite; the braun’s, the leonhart’s, the ackerman’s, names listed amongst yours and names you close deals with. clans with power, influence, wealth, distinction.
he, jean, is walking over now; casual with an easy stride that shows he’s in no rush, he’s confident. he pays his respects to the girl of the hour, congratulating her on her new playhouse before her attention is diverted by another guest calling her name to get her to come over there. hitch slips off, but not before discreetly tapping your lower back in excitement; an unspoken ‘get him.’
“jean,” he introduces himself, extending his hand in a polite greeting. “i wanted to speak to hitch, but i wanted to talk to you, too. you are breathtaking.” his eyes drink you in, from head to toe, even though they’ve been roaming your frame since you first caught his attention. the heir simply cannot get enough. “but you get told that a lot, yes?”
“thank you.” your lips spread into a small smile, one hand slipping into his larger one as the other pulls off your sunnies, sticking one of the arms down into your top. “i’m ___” jean bore a lean swimmer’s build, dark navy beach shorts hung low on his hips, and his tanned skin decorated with a dusting of faint, brown freckles over his body. years of private villas and yachts, no doubt. he was impossibly tall, too, you find yourself having to gently tilt your head back to see his face fully. it was cute from afar, maturely handsome up close. was that a faint hint of a mustache? it was hot.
jean repeats your name slowly, enjoying the feeling of that line of syllables rolling off his tongue. “i’d love to get to know you more. ___, you’re so beautiful. i have to impress you somehow. name it,” his other hand comes up to rest of top of yours, successfully encasing it in a gentle hold. an excuse to touch you just a little bit more. “i’ll make it happen.”
your smile becomes a grin, and your dark eyes glint mischievously under your delicate lashes. one quick test, because where’s the fun in not initiating one? you just want to see what he’d say, pick at his brain. what sweet words will he spin from his golden cords now? “but jean,” you begin softly, “what if i was the type of girl that liked a man that took control? told me we were doing this, at this time, on this day, and in my prettiest red dress?”
“it’d be rude, ___, at least in my eyes, to so quickly assume i had a right to your time, and drag you around this way and that. allow me the privilege of occupying your time, and space.”
before you can catch it, one of your expertly threaded and sculpted eyebrows quirks up in mild surprise. you beckon him a bit closer to your face with a wave of your acrylics. “good answer,” you tease, honeyed voice playful and whispery. “phone? i can put my number in, and we can talk about how you can try to romance me when i have my schedules laid out in front of me.” you watch as he fishes the device out of his shorts pocket.
you were captivating afar, but up close with your tawny skin soft, glittery, and emanating an intoxicating vanilla scent, your dark eyes glistening with mirth and playfulness… it makes jean’s body go into some type of shock, his heart plummeting to his feet and his blood running cold but racing through his veins at the same time.
“well then,” you chime as you save your digits into the millionaire’s phone, the contact simply your name with no bells or whistles to adorn it. “i hope we can get to know each soon, mr. kirschtein.”
jean thinks that pearly white smile will be the death of him.
…
every year, no matter what, your father throws his annual christmas party. you long assumed that it brings him a special type of happiness because your normally humble father goes all out for them, each year being better than the last. he flies out the best chefs in the world to cook for hours, orders the tallest, greenest tree for the foyer, and has the house cleaned til someone could check their reflection in the perfect marble floors. when it comes to this, the man skimps on nothing.
you take it upon yourself to make the most of it, requesting custom design dresses from the most exclusive sewing tables over in Europe, shoes fresh from the runway. only the very best for you, the heiress, the crème de la crème, the girl who has never known the word no.
“dance with me?”
you had been absentmindedly swirling your wine glass by its delicate stem, attempting to place its origin (red, tart-like with its cranberry flavor and a strange orange bite near the end), when you’re approached. once you turn your head, you’re meet with striking green eyes and a sharp little smile.
“you looked bored, and that’s what these parties are for, right?”
eren yeager, the german-american son of grisha and carla yeager, 2nd generation genius neurosurgeon with a net worth in the 7 figures, and the just-as-talented, third generation wedding gown designer. according to the rumor mill, after graduating in the top of class in one of those ivy’s upstate, he gallivanted across the country (no, the world) as the not-so-favorable yeager son. of course, there are entirely too many eyes on the yeager clan for grisha to do too much of anything and a son can do no wrong in a doting mother’s eyes; so eren is left free to his disagreeable desires. everyone wonders how long that will last.
steely dark eyes and your naturally neutral face does nothing to deter him. you decide to indulge him, slipping your hand into his and raising up, allowing him the luxury of whisking you to the dance floor. “i guess i don’t see why not.”
“great.” his hand is soft and a little cool against your own, the woody, cedar notes of penhaligon the inimitable gently wafting off his skin and pressed shirt. unbeknownst to you, a few pairs of eyes bore into yeager’s back. the arrogance he has to whisk you away so early into the party, especially with it being his first one. if eren was the wiser, he’d revel in their envy.
there’s a handful of other couples waltzing across the floor when you two arrive. your fingers thread through his as his free hand finds a respectful place on your waist, blessed with the feeling of the smooth skin exposed by the opening in your dress.
no matter how much money your father makes, he’s an old black man at heart. old r&b plays from the expensive sound system he had installed, tevin campbell’s can we talk playing through the speakers. the irony of the situation isn’t lost on you. nonetheless, you hum nonchalantly to the tune and glide around the floor with your partner.
“i gotta ask, do you enjoy these things? or does your dad put you up to it?” your arm is held above your head and you’re spun around in a quick circle before being guided back to eren’s chest. face still impartial, you nod your head towards your five o clock, the wavy blonde strands dangling from your delicate updo tickling your face. a table teems with gifts for you and you only, bachelors from afar vying for a wisp of your attention with shiny, expensive gifts. they fail to realize that a girl like yourself isn’t so easily bought. but, it’s their money not yours, and few things in life bring you greater joy than pulling ribbon and wrapping paper from luxury brand boxes.
“of course i do. i’m not ‘put up’ to anything. i dress up, i get my presents. what isn’t there to love?” manicured hand splayed across the man’s back, you’re dipped towards the floor. you’re one to give credit where credit is due, yeager is a good dancer; the confidence in his movements isn’t a lame front and he maintains the delicate balance between taking the lead and dragging his poor partner around. since this is suddenly an interview, you have questions of your own. “when i have time to go through them, will i find your name on anything?”
“of course you will. be pretty damn rude to show up to a party empty handed. especially when it might be my only chance to get a gift for the princess.” a name your normally cringe and scrunch your nose at sounds surprisingly nice passing by his lips. he grinned boyishly. “no hints.”
“i can wait. for your sake, i hope it’s no ring. it’s going straight into the garbage.” just the thought of such a “present” makes your blood want to boil. who raised these “men”? i mean honestly, what brain dead fool buys a ring for a girl who didn’t even know his face? and expected her to wear it? you would sooner die and go to hell first.
“no way someone is that dumb. you’re fucking with me.”
“what do i have to lie for?”
"well, taking a look at these guests, i take it back. some of these bastards look dumb enough to pull a stunt like that." eren scans the array of guests over your shoulder, and you can't even feign offense for your father's sake. scanning over a guestlist for former flames and explaining why you didn't want them in attendance would take too much time, and you really didn't feel like explaining "relationship troubles" to your dad of all people. loved him as much as you did that really wasn't his business. besides, watching them shiver and skulk away from your disinterested and annoyed glance made up for everything. "are you a betting woman?"
"did you waste grisha's money on a degree in journalism?" your eyebrows furrow and eren laughs again.
"you're funny, ___. most of our peers aren't so witty. and if it so pleases her majesty, i want to bet on the odds of one of these dumbasses putting a ring under your tree." eren's green eyes stare down into yours, gleaming with playfulness, mirth, and confidence. "what do you say? someone does, and we can go on a date, just us two, and you can smile and laugh a little bit."
"and if there's no ring?"
"i'll leave you alone and fall in place in your long string of broken hearts."
luck has always been on your side. look at the family you were in born in, the riches that are your birthright! the universe has never dealt you a bad hand and surely wouldn’t start now. and worse case scenario, you hang out with one of the few men that can mark your plump lips twitch in the shadow of a giggle. “fine.” your brown eyes meet his green, and neither of the waver. “deal.”
several days later, gifts from around the globe surround you. handbags, shoes, dresses, envelopes bursting with cash; you’ll have to tell your dad you need some walls knocked down in your already spacious closet to make room for more. amidst all this, though, a godforsaken ring is gripped between your fingers. if looks could kill, it would melting and dripping from your grasp. holding it like it’s contaminated, you snap a picture to send to yeager:
‘i’m free the 3rd weekend and tuesdays.’
…
as temperatures rise again, you spend the next few months allowing jean kirstein and eren yeager the luxury of whisking you away when your schedule permits.
the former is a bit... old fashioned, in a good way! you're led off to slow paced, cozy dates; the two of you roaming italian streets, attending shows in their original opera houses, he never strayed you out of the bubble you two were born in. it was casual, soft, predictable in a good way.
eren on the other hand, spent money like it would burn through his pocket if it sat there too long. he spent money like a man who just felt its crispness in his palms and was addicted to the feeling, knowing deep down it'd never stop flowing for him. you're frequenting the night scene in your tight, revealing dress, his firm hands on your hips as you two grind to the pounding beats. shopping spree dates that lasted all day, if your hand so much as brushed it, it was bought, packaged up, and in the car. spontaneous flights abroad, stealing you away for weekends. it was exhilarating.
they both provide the things you're looking for. jean is the type of man you imagine yourself settling down with one day, when the whole young and turnt shtick melts away into something more domestic and slow paced. he has gentle hands and treats you so delicately, softly. his reliability will be something you can learn to lean on and need.
eren could possibly be that type of man too, but for now he has a fire, impulses that keep you oh so entertained. having everything in the world gets boring, and eren brings that spark that you crave.
you ruminate at your vanity. hair tied down and tucked away under a silky soft bonnet, you run your gua sha across your moisturized face, long sweeping strokes that end with a gentle tug. eye masks rest on your face, your feet clothed by a exfoliating mask, and a fluffy robe envelopes your body. you stare at your reflection, you're the only one who gets you.
you're really at a crossroads. you choosing between something is unheard of. you're ___, you get everything you deserve and want tenfold. you like jean, you like eren. the way they look at you with such adoration, how their hands and lips caress your body, the sweets words they declare, and how every promise they've made to you remains unbroken, oh how they must certainly feel the same for you.
as greedy as it may make you sound, you want both. your cake and to eat it too. two of your richest peers fawning over you day in and day out, them caring for you and you caring for them. them loving you, and you loving them. it’s a dream that will be your reality.
…
after a long day at sea on one of many jean’s yachts, the sun beaming down on not only the beautiful blue water but the two of you, entangled in each other’s arms, docks at the private harbor.
you’re running your fingers through your french curl braids as jean talks to one of the dock’s attendees, slightly sleepy from your sunbathing session. the gentle breeze of the day brings the smell of saltwater up to your nostrils and you hear seagulls squawking from spots on the wooden posts. obviously, a day at the water leaves you craving seafood, juicy lobster tails with a decadent pasta on the side. your daydreams of the soon to be dinner are interrupted by an extremely familiar “yo!”
heads turn, and it’s none other than eren striding across the dock’s walkway towards where you and jean are standing. his green eyes shine at the sight of you, the hot pink of your two piece bikini a perfect contrast to your skin and showing curves and bends he’d worship for the rest of his life. oh, and jean’s here too.
another woman might falter, her heart catching in her throat and sweat beading up on her flesh as her suitors stand before her, but you’re the epitome of calm, brown eyes smoothly meeting eren’s. there’s no ring on your finger, and besides, you know what you’re after right now.
“haven’t seen you in a while, yeager.” knowing it’d be cliche, jean fights against the urge to wrap a protective arm around your waist. “done gallivanting the world?”
“seen all there is to see kirschtein, and you say that like it’s insult. what use is money if it just sits in accounts collecting dust.” eren looks at you again, god you’re a sight for sore eyes. “especially when there’s a woman like her to spend it on.”
jean’s eyes can’t help but to roll. what a cornball. “well, good chat, but ___ and i are on a little time crunch. i’m taking her to niccolo’s, especially after being on the water.” his hand slips into yours, taking charge but not tugging you along. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like this side of him.
“well, now that you mention it, i could go for some niccolo’s too.” eren’s grin is shit-eating. what a cute dynamic these too have, one you know has a bit more bite to it when a lady isn’t in their presence. “how about i join? matter of fact, my treat.”
“that won’t be necessary.”
“i insist.”
“you two would argue all day if i let you,” you interrupt this small tussle, and now their attention is back on you. a manicured hand raises up to cover your small yawn. “like an old married couple.”
“it’s all in good fun,” eren’s shoulder nudges jean, and if jean had lasers for eyes, the youngest heir to yeager fortune would be a pile of dust before your feet. “we go way back.”
jean ignores him entirely, but eren finds it hilarious. “what he’s suggesting is insane, ___.”
you give a gentle shrug of your shoulder, coyness at the ready. “it’s nothing serious, it’s a lunch date between friends, and i bet you’d like to catch up.”
jean’s jaw tenses. he turns to you completely as eren looks on curiously. “i think it’s a sign that you say that, ___. i’ve been meaning to have this conversation with you for a while. yes, we are friends, but i want to be more with you.”
this moment, with the waves crashing across the dock, the sun illuminating the two of you, jean clasping your hands tight, would’ve been a soft, tender, picturesque one had it not been for eren’s booming laughter.
“oh, so now this is a pissing contest, huh, jean? well, since we’re confessing feelings, i have my own to speak for you.” his outburst breaks your gaze, and you and jean both turn in unison. “___, i want you to be my girlfriend, and i’ve felt this way for a while. i’ve been waiting for just the perfect moment, but i can’t let this jack-off take this one for himself right?” comically, you’re put between them, each of your hands in theirs.
“i…” this takes tact, a delicate way of stringing together words and honestly, with their eyes boring into yours, you find yourself falling just a touch short.
“i respect any decision you make,” jean assures.
“___, i will do anything for you,” eren promises.
any decision. anything.
you bit your bottom lip, hands minutely twitching in their clasp. you lean in neither direction, at the center of them. “any?”
and then there’s a beat of silence. and everyone’s looking at each other. this feels like a scene in a sitcom, something that should be accompanied with a laugh-track, but there’s no closed mouth that’s been fed.
“because in the time i’ve gotten to know both of you, i’ve begin to care for both of you. and i’ve made great memories with the two of you. i know i could make even more. i don’t value any time spent with you over each other’s.” your voice shakes just a tiny, tiny bit, vulnerability creeping in. “you too make me… so happy.”
eren cuts the silence first, ever the impulsive one. “i’ll do it.”
“you cut me off,” jean quickly interjects. eren really puts him on his toes, ignites an aggressive fire deep within, steps on just the right nerves. “i’m doing it too.”
“i said i’d do anything.”
“and i said i’d respect any decision.”
“okay!” you voice crashes down like a gavel. “okay. i’m glad that you two are hearing me out,” a smile tugs at your glossed lips, this feels so easy and lighthearted, a stark contrast from the seriousness you impose upon yourself. already, you feel yourself loosening up, because the two of them bring out the true, relaxed you like nothing else can. “but for our sanity the bickering needs to come down a notch before we all kill each other, yeah?”
two strong pairs of arms envelop you. it takes some effort, but you wrap your own around the two of them. three heads together, you find yourselves laughing. a weight eases of your shoulders, but not because you got your way, but because you know this is the death of a mask created by the circle you were born in. a mask that hides the love you can feel in an attempt to guard it.
“well, we won’t kill you.”
nov 13. 2021. nov 9. 2023. i nearly gave up. i almost threw in the towel. but goddammit she’s done. praise god.
#eren jaeger x black reader#eren x black reader#eren yeager x you#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x black reader#jean kirschstein x black reader#jean kirschtein x reader#jean x reader#jean x black reader#🏙.aotmodern#🧸.aotfluff
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The Shipping Corner: Voxman, A Balm for Capitalist-Induced Angst
Note: I'm sorry this took as long as it did. I've been in a pretty bad slump recently and am just now coming out of it.
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Lord Boxman is the black sheep among his peers. This is first established with Professor Venomous' initial distaste towards him and the later reactions he gets when he unexpectedly shows up at Billiam Milliam's villain yacht party. The only kinds of relationships Boxman has with other villains amount to strictly business transactions to create their robot minions. The shareholders that directly fund Boxmore are especially skeptic of Boxman's destroy the Plaza side venture and see this as a misguided, Snidely Whiplash-esque escapade. He's just a Saturday morning cartoon villain and they're the respectable big leagues. When Boxman funnels so much time, effort, energy, and resources towards the Plaza attacks, it takes precious time away from robot production; the one thing he does they consider valuable or worthwhile. They threaten to cut off their support if Boxman's production doesn't increase and then gladly replace him with Darrell when the opportunity arises. Darrell fits the exact mold they need for a CEO: he focuses exclusively on production.
There's no respect. There's no interest in or concern for Lord Boxman as an individual. The dislike is mutual. Of course Boxman doesn't get along with other villains. Most of the known names and faces on screen hold the purse strings and by extension, the fate of Boxman's entire operation. He feels like he has to put on his best face and performance to keep his business afloat. Without Boxmore, he seemingly has nothing and loses everything material. After Boxman was fired by the shareholders, he becomes absolutely depressed and floats around for awhile until Venomous finds him in his trash can. As much as he hates answering to corporate interests, he's locked in as a "robot manufacturer" as much as an Average Joe is stuck at a 9-5 job because of bills, a mortgage; and most frustratingly, how easily someone can fall into the trappings of letting a job define their self-worth or sense of self.
--
When Professor Venomous gets introduced, he's partly in Boxman's mental bucket of shareholder/necessary business relationships. Boxman goes to great lengths to hide K.O., Rad, and Enid after accidentally booking his business dinner on the same night as an antagonize the Plaza event. He's scared that his 'hobby' would dissuade Venomous from buying any more of his robots and break their already tenuous business deal. Instead, Venomous starts to see Boxman through literal rose-tinted glasses and becomes interested in Boxman's ongoing Plaza rivalry but uses the robots as a continued excuse to check in again on this weird, intriguing man.
Another interesting precedent is that Boxman is more fond of Venomous from the jump. When interacting with other business partners, Boxman is over-the-top and eager to please in video calls and plays the oblivious idiot in casual settings, but behind closed doors, he's bitter towards them. Boxman won't hug his own children and scoffs at open displays of affection. Yet he wants to touch or hug Venomous as often as he can reasonably get away with. Part of his behavior is the same eager to please facade he gives other interested business parties, but the bigger part is a legitimate interest in developing a more personal relationship with Venomous.
The pink shoujo sparkles and elevator eyes Boxman has for Venomous are a blatant indicator he finds him attractive. That's a surprisingly huge part of what kicks off his interest. Look at how he reacts to Dr. Blight in the Captain Planet crossover. Boxman initially shows skepticism and disinterest towards her crazy plans, but the second she flirts with him, the flip switches. The promise of romantic interest grants her access to the full power and force of Boxmore. When she leaves at the end of the episode, Boxman is disappointed. He wanted to continue their partnership, especially their potential interpersonal one.
In Venomous' case, he gets extra points for joining in the fight after the Plaza brats interrupt dinner. He asks about the design and Lego brick-esque connectivity of the Boxbots. He's not above participating in the Saturday morning cartoon skirmish. Rather, he misses that kind of fight and yearns to experience more exploits like it. Venomous is the only on-screen character outside of Boxman's kids that shows a willingness to listen to, try to understand, and engage with Boxman in a more personable, intimate way.
--
Professor Venomous fell into villainy after he lost his powers and realized how overbearing he found the moral code heroes have. Being a villain comes naturally to him; he likes the fruits of his labor in the vast amounts of wealth, prestige, and material power that he could gain. Fast forward to present-day in the series and he's the picture of a successful villain. He figures out the easy button for amassing stupid amounts of money by threatening a Congresswoman with a death ray. He's sought out for deals involving his scientific prowess. He's respected and liked among other villains to the point he's invited to Billiam's parties. Though while he has a comfortable position, he's become jaded.
Enter Lord Boxman. Compared to the villains Venomous is used to, Boxman dances to the beat of his own drum. He's more interested in defeating the Plaza than an endless vie for prestige, wealth, or power. He says he doesn't care what the other villains think of him and how he does things. No matter what happens, he's going to carve out his own path as a villain and do what he wants to with his life. Somehow, Venomous got tied up in a new, different kind of bureaucratic process as a villain. As a hero, he felt like an outcast and a loser everybody looked down on without super powers. As a villain, he has everything he thought he wanted but it was more of a means to make up for what he lost. It was more compensating and filling in an existential hole vs actually taking meaningful control of his life. In stark contrast to that, Boxman knows exactly what he wants and puts his all into every pursuit, consequences and obstacles be damned.
Collaborating with Boxman is an epiphany. Dreaming up new schemes and plots to challenge the Plaza is fun. It's fulfilling and satisfying to Venomous in a way that heroics and solo villain ventures weren't. There's one scene in particular after Boxman and Venomous join forces for the first time and lose spectacularly. Both of them are smiling; it's joyous. Boxman was down and out without Boxmore, but building Fink's attack trike was a spark of hope that he can rebuild even if its from the ground-up. Venomous just lost his nice house and all of his current material possessions because Boxman blew everything up. But then Boxman turned around and presented the exact existential solution Venomous didn't know he needed by suggesting attacking the Plaza. It's the dinner party attack, but this time, Venomous was a full part of the planning phases. He gets to share in and fully experience the devil-may-care and more whimsical parts of being a villain he thought were long gone.
Venomous offers to buy out Boxmore and root out the shareholders. Finally, Boxman is free of one of the bigger obstacles between him and his all-time favorite venture. Not only does Boxman have free reign, but also the equal partner he so desperately desired; someone that's on his same wavelength and as invested in his kind of villainy as he is.
--
Another important dimension to Venomous' character is his destructive spiral as Shadowy Venomous. Finding that 'missing piece' in Boxman and Boxmore respectively isn't a magic solution. There's significant baggage in how much emphasis Venomous placed on his need for power. This was such a huge quest and chunk of his life that its difficult to give up on the idea entirely. Its similar to how some people spend so much time chasing after a specific job title or promotion that this elusive thing becomes an important part of what defines them or contributes to their sense of self worth. Venomous left Carol because of a gross misunderstanding that she saw him as weak. He was missing the value he assigned to super powers for so long that every new solution was always a band-aid or a stop gap.
Someone can find a thing or circumstances that significantly improves their life, but they need to see and recognize this psychologically too for it to be completely effective. In other words, Venomous needed to recognize the real-time changes and results from joining Boxmore, then figure out how to weigh those continued changes with his own self-discovery or improvement.
Boxman started improving on being a more proactive parent. Unfortunately, Venomous started getting lost in his own head and pulling away from his other responsibilities or general life. A change as big as a new partner, surroundings, and blended family would be enough to kickstart depression; especially because Venomous hadn't appropriately addressed why he needed this abstract concept of what it meant to be the 'most powerful being.' Success and self-actualization weren't included with the previous accolades he achieved as a villain. It wasn't obvious and forthcoming with Boxman either. The lack of introspection and vulnerable talks with Boxman or anyone else is exactly what led to the wind-up and eventual "I'll destroy everything if it means getting rid of the years of resentment and frustration."
--
Both Venomous and Boxman have some sort of adult trapped in the shitty corporate world element to their character writing. In a nutshell, Boxman struggles with the existential threat of losing who he is to one specific job he performs; Venomous finds villainy gratifying as more of a hobby or extracurricular activity vs a full-time job. He's successful at it but the version he's successful at is more of a distraction or a means to fill in a missing part of himself than true interest in his corporate role. Boxman's approach to villainy is considered juvenile and worthless. Venomous still loves villainy but he wants the freedom to have fun and go all-out without worrying about reputation or meeting the specific standards that comes with his current position.
In 2024, after the various rise of corporate buzzwords trying to guilt employees back to pre-pandemic work standards and inflation vs stagnant wages, there's new weight to the Boxman and Venomous character allegories respectively. These two are that success story of Boxman giving the middle finger to a crappy boss and Venomous making that leap of faith from an empty, soul-sucking job to the more wild, out of pocket thing. Venomous' ill-obtained funds becomes that treasured pile of "fuck you" money that so many people dream about having and using to take a risk on something personally, meaningfully valuable to them. Or just having a window of opportunity to enjoy life the way they want to without having to worry about bills and necessities.
More importantly though, while they describe themselves as business partners, it's two single, lonely men building a life and trying to healthfully blend their families together. Part of this life is making space for someone new that makes the other man want to work on becoming a better, more thoughtful person. Regardless of where a person sits in their job hunt or even at the height of personal achievement, the most important part is the support network they come home to or regularly interact with.
Thematically, Boxman and Venomous are the opposite side of the coin to the more straightforward found family K.O. builds and maintains. It's a reminder that no one has to be lonely. They can and will find someone that brings meaningful, valuable things to their life; someone that makes them want to change and grow. While this is about an explicitly romantic pair, the message applies whether that hypothetical person and relationship is romantic, platonic, or a new addition to a found family.
#voxman#ok ko voxman#ship analysis#ok ko let's be heroes#ok ko#ok ko professor venomous#ok ko lord boxman#character analysis#ship discussion#shipping analysis#shipping#the shipping corner#theromancescrooge#i'm back bitches#Youtube
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That's their closing message.
Are you going to vote for a woman whose laugh they don't like? Or are you going to vote for a guy
who fomented a violent coup attempt after a months long campaign to overturn the 2020 election
undercut the nation's response to a deadly pandemic that spiraled out of control because he tried to cover it up,
lied about its severity,
promoted sham treatments for it,
said we could cure it by injecting disinfectant and shining powerful lights inside the body
and became the first president since Herbert Hoover to oversee a net job loss.
Couldn't figure out how to close an umbrella,
cosplayed as a sanitation worker, even though he almost fell while getting into the truck
and pretended to work at McDonald's, even though he couldn't remember what the fryer was called.
Laughed about firing striking workers with the richest man alive,
bragged about refusing to pay overtime
and said I don't want a poor person running the economy.
Oversaw an increase in corporate profits while manufacturing jobs declined,
presided over an unprecedented spike in crime
while home prices rose by 30%,
the national debt rose by $8 trillion
and the number of Americans without health insurance rose by 3 million.
Tried to rip healthcare away from over 20 million Americans,
but reassured everyone by saying he had concepts of a plan,
told a story about the size of a dead golfer's penis,
regaled Boy Scouts with stories of sexy yacht parties,
humped the American flag not once but multiple times,
told women he would protect them whether they liked it or not,
and would put a man who was investigated for cutting the head off a whale with a chainsaw in charge of vaccines and women's health,
insulted service members,
feuded with Gold Star families
and violated federal law by staging a campaign event at a hallowed military cemetery.
Doctored a weather map with a Sharpie to lie about the path of a hurricane,
threw paper towels at hurricane victims,
hosted a speaker at a rally who called Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage,
claimed windmills cause cancer and kill whales,
said you have to flush toilets 15 times.
Called Hannibal Lecter a lovely man,
his National Security Adviser called him a dope,
his Secretary of State called him a moron,
his Chief of Staff called him an idiot and a fascist who said nice things about Hitler and Hitler's generals.
He suggested shooting protesters in the legs to his Secretary of Defense.
He reportedly suggested executing rivals and staffers for leaking information.
The former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff called him a fascist to the core.
He took millions from foreign officials,
including a possible $10 million bribe from Egypt.
His lawyers gave a press conference at a landscaping company.
He lost the popular vote twice,
got impeached twice,
got indicted four times
and was found guilty of 34 felony counts for falsifying business records to pay hush money to a porn star.
He asked a crowd whether they'd rather be electrocuted or eaten by a shark,
he possibly farted and definitely fell asleep in court.
Bragged about overturning Roe v. Wade,
called himself the father of IVF while admitting he didn't know what IVF was,
called the CEO of Apple Tim Apple,
misspelled his wife's name
and his own name,
said Nikki Haley was the Speaker of the House on January 6th.
Claimed the price of bacon goes up because the wind doesn't blow.
Got on Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe,
became the first president in history to stare directly at an eclipse,
melted down in a presidential debate
where he claimed migrants were eating dogs,
spread lies about the federal government's response to a hurricane that caused FEMA workers to relocate due to threats.
Dances like he's punching a ghost,
held a hate-filled rally at Madison Square Garden,
stole classified documents,
obstructed attempts to get them back,
called climate change a hoax,
proposed tariffs that economists say would increase prices and crater the economy,
halted an equal pay rule for women,
curtailed access to birth control,
picked a running mate who mocked childless cat ladies
and creeped out everyone when he tried to order donuts
and was accused of having sex with a couch,
which he did not do even though he might have.
But he didn't,
but maybe he did.
But he definitely did not. [shrugs]
Said Kamala Harris happened to turn Black,
claimed his crowd on January 6th was bigger than Martin Luther King's I Have a Dream speech,
was banned from doing business in the state of New York for three years,
just recently posed for the single worst photo of any human being that has ever been taken on the face of the fucking planet.
So, you know, it's a toss up.
#please vote#for fcks sake please vote#us election#us politics#american politics#election 2024#election#vote#kamala harris#kamala 2024#vote kamala#vote blue#vote harris#harris walz 2024#seth meyers#a closer look#late night with seth meyers
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“Mulled Wine” colourway to get you in the mood for the festive season. This weekend at @yorkshireyarnfest will be the first yarny party of the holidays and also my last show of the year. Be sure to be there if you would like to see my work in person.
Yarn shows are full of tiny businesses and times are tough but you can help because you are savvy enough to know that big corporations artificially inflate their prices prior to Black Friday to make their “discounts” look good, and offer low quality and senescent stock on sale.
Shopping small helps you avoid their traps and your home doesn’t get filled with environmentally toxic plastic tat. We also appreciate your custom far more and you can be sure I spend my earnings on things like food and school uniforms rather than a second yacht.
One final thing. If you’re coming to the show, please bring cash if you can. The card processing company charge 1.69% and they don’t deserve it because they didn’t dye the yarn. Imagine how much they skim off the pool of money that we share and redirect into the coffers of the 1% every day!
Of course, we also have two card machines and welcome all buyers equally, so if anyone was hoping to get offended that a woman expressed an opinion then I’m sorry to disappoint. Bringing cash is supererogatory, but it’s also a great way to keep track of your spending if you have a set budget.
#mothyandthesquid#yarn#knitting#knit#yarnaddict#knittersofinstagram#crochet#yarnlove#miniskeins#yarnlover#yyf#yorkshireyarnfest
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Markish
Markish is an English language of the German family of languages which evolved on the island of Albion. It is closely related to other English languages like Kentish and Wessern, and is the primary language of the polity of Markland.
Contemporary Markish descends form the Early Markish spoken in Markland, which itself descends from Anglian varieties of Old English.
This article principally describes the acrolect of Markish spoken in and around the capital city of Tommarth.
Examples
A jalicked knave bought a new quistre. /ə ˈdʒa.lɪ.kəd knɛːv bɔft ə nəu ˈkwɪ.stə/ A guy in a tuxedo bought a new phone. Aquifex is the temendest corporal. /ˈa.kwɪˌfɛks ɪz ðe ˈtiː.mən.dəs ˈkoː.pʊ.ɾəl/ Hydrogen is the most abundant element. Do thy breches of and put thysel abed! /duː ðəi ˈbɾiː.tʃəz ɔf ən pʊt ðəiˈsɛl əˈbɛd/ Take off your clothes and get on the bed! By way o'dreend al therin ough, he asked "As swich?" /bəi wəi əˈdɾiː.ən‿dal ðəˈɾɪn uːf | hiː ˈa.skəd | az swɪtʃ/ While doing everything wrong, he asked "Like that?" Psolick tersures may breken wines brewing of. /ˈsɔ.lɪk ˈtɛː.zjəz məi ˈbɾiːkə wəinz ˈbɾəwɪŋg ɔf/ Sulphites can stop wine fermentation.
Phonology
Consonants
The consonant phonemes found in Markish are:
/m n/ /p t tʃ k/ /b d dʒ g/ /f θ s ʃ h/ /v ð z/ /w l ɾ j/
and they are subject to the following orthographic conventions:
b d f h k l m n p t v w z represent their IPA symbols.
j r y represent /dʒ ɾ j/ respectively.
c usually represents /s/ before i e y and /k/ elsewhere.
awice /əˈwəis/ "indeed" < OE ġewiss "certain" coholl /kʊˈhɔl/ "sulfide" < Ar كُحْل "kohl"
g usually represents /g/ but may represent /dʒ/ before i e y.
eagre /ˈeː.gə/ "acid" < L ācer nargill /ˈnaː.dʒɪl/ "coconut" < Ar نَرْجِيل "coconut palm" girl /geːl/ "young person"
q appears almost always in the diagraph qu to represent /kw/.
quoit /kwəit/ "tyre, torus"
s represents /z/ between vowels and word-finally (unless doubled), and /s/ otherwise.
Brasil /bɾəˈzɪl/ "Newfoundland" < Ir Breasail betimes /bɪˈtəimz/ "earlier" surblavick /soːˈblɛː.vɪk/ "ultraviolet" < L blavus "blue"
x represents /gz/ between vowels, and /ks/ otherwise.
oxy /ˈɔg.ziː/ "stubborn" œculux /ˈɛ.kjəˌlʊks/ "EM radiation" < Gr οἶκος "house", L lux "light"
There are several digraphs of letters with -h: ch gh ph sh th wh.
ph sh wh represent /f ʃ f/.
ch usually represents /tʃ/, but sometimes also /k/.
chalk /tʃalk/ "chalk" yacht /jakt/ "cult" < Du jaght "hunting party"
gh usually represents either /ʃ/ (following i) or /f/ (following u).
wight /wɪʃt/ "person" < OE wiht "thing, creature" ough /uːf/ "bad" < OE wōh "wrong, crooked" NB I'ght /ˈəift/ "I must", contracted from I ought
th usually represents either of /θ ð/, and sometimes /t/.
thrift /θɾɪft/ "energy" < ON þrift "prosperity" yeathre /ˈjeːðə/ "together" < OE geador
There are several situations in which written consonants may be silent.
In certain endings: participle -end /ən/, infinitive -en /ə/, superlative -est /əs/.
discurrend /dɪˈskʊ.ɾən/ "different" < L discurrēns "roaming" chammen /ˈtʃa.mə/ "to chew" (poss. onomatopoetic) tharvest /ˈθaː.vəs/ "least sociable" < OE þeorf "unleavened"
Coda r lengthens the preceding vowel and word-final -re is pronounced /ə/.
interpel /ɪnˈtɛː.pəl/ "interact with" < L interpellō "I disturb" sundre /ˈsʊn.də/ "many" < OE sundor "separately"
Post-tonic -st- immediately before a closed syllable is pronounced /s/.
hirstend /ˈheː.sən/ "extra" < OE hyrstan "to ornament" pistol /ˈpɪ.səl/ "message" < L epistola
Likewise, post-tonic -v- is lost in some common words.
morovre /mʊˈɾoː(ə)/ "as well" evre /ɛː(ə)/ "always"
Vowels
The vowels of (this variety of) Markish are:
/a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ ə/ /aː ɛː eː iː ɔː oː ʉː/ /əi əu/
and they are subject to the following orthographic conventions:
In stressed syllables, "short" a e i~y o u represent /a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ/.
sam /sam/ "set, collection" < OE samnian "gather" whelp /fɛlp/ "baby animal" quick /kwɪk/ "awake" thon /ðɔn/ "one, someone", contracted from the one bulk /bʊlk/ "cargo"
In unstressed syllables, a e i~y o u instead represent /ə ə~ɪ ɪ ʊ ʊ/—except word-finally, where /ɪ ʊ/ become /iː ə/.
defectend /dɪˈfɛk.tən/ "positively charged" behemoth /bɪˈhiː.mʊθ/ "hippopotamus" costumery /kʊˈstjəu.mə.ɾiː/ "fashion plate"
"Long" a e i~y o u represent /ɛː iː əi uː jəu/.
besake /bɪˈzɛːk/ "because" mete /miːt/ "standard, gauge" < OE metan "measure" ty /təi/ "to join" poke /puːk/ "container" < OFr poque "bag" huge /hjəudʒ/ "huge"
There are plenty of digraphs representing vowels.
Coda -r: ar er ir or ur represent /aː ɛː eː oː oː/.
davarn /dəˈvaːn/ "grand hotel, resort" < W tafarn "inn"
-a: ea oa represent /eː oː/.
roaden /ˈɾoː.də/ "to travel"
-e: ee ie ue represent /iː əi jəu/.
conspue /kʊnˈspjəu/ "to deride" < L cōnspuō "I spit upon"
-i/y: ai ei oi and ay ey oy represent /əi əi~iː əi/.
fain /fəin/ "willing(ly)"
-o: oo represents /uː/.
soon /suːn/ "as soon as"
-u/w: au eu ou and aw ew ow represent /əu əu əu~uː/.
blew /bləu/ "blue" coshow /ˈkɔ.ʃuː/ "rubber" < Quechua kawchu
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dec' 10 x sleigh ride
Prompt: sleigh ride Pairing: dieter x reader Word Count: 690 Warnings: corporate parties, obnoxious yachts, seasickness, butchering of the bubble dialogue & a brief mention of alcohol Summary: parties on yachts, whose big idea was that? AO3: Linked
x. masterlist
“Dieter!” you cried, “Hold my hair!”
The cool sea breeze did little to ease your churning stomach as you leaned over the rail of the yacht, now festively adorned as 'Santa's Sleigh' for the industry party you’d found yourself at.
The yacht, a vessel of opulence, was adorned with twinkling lights draped on every available surface. Garlands of holly and mistletoe hung from the rails, and a gigantic, inflatable Rudolph with a glowing red nose bobbed at the bow. Even the captain of the boat had gotten in on the act fully dressed as Santa as he guided the ‘sleigh’ off the waters around Marina del Rey.
Dieter, ever the dramatic presence, stood by your side, his hands gently holding your hair back at your request.
The party around you was in full swing. Executives, actors, and various luminaries of the film industry mingled on the deck, drinks garnished with candy canes and holly, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to your current predicament.
Dieter gently rubbed your back and the irony wasn't lost on you; Dieter Bravo, the man known for his theatrics, especially when hungover or sick, was now in the role of caretaker. Of that, the caretaker of you, the film producer and his girlfriend, who usually had everything under control.
“You know,” Dieter said, a small smile playing on his lips, “I always thought my hands were destined for holding Oscars, not hair.”
You chuckled, grateful for the distraction. “Well, consider this a new role for you,” you quipped as you tried to take in a deep breath.
As the waves calmed somewhat, so did your stomach, and you managed to straighten up, feeling a bit more like yourself. Dieter handed you a bottle of water, his gaze lingering with genuine concern.
“Thank you,” you took a long sip, “trust me to find out I have seasickness on the one major industry event of the holidays,” you mumbled, trying to find humour in your misery.
Dieter chuckled softly, his deep voice warm against the slight chill of the ocean air. “Well, it's not like you’re hanging out on boats every day, is it?”
His words brought a small smile to your lips. Despite his on-screen persona, Dieter could be surprisingly grounded at times.
You laughed, “Well, there goes my retirement plans.”
“You okay now?” Dieter asked, concern lacing his words.
“Yeah, I think so,” you replied, taking another sip of water.
You glanced back at the party, where the festive atmosphere continued unabated.
“You know, I think I make a good nurse.” He mused as you turned and raised an eyebrow at him, “What? Who wouldn't want to be nursed back to health by me?” he asked in mock offence at your wordless response.
"Maybe someone who wants actual medical attention," you replied teasingly.
“Oh, I don't know,” his voice lowered as he stepped closer to you, and you instinctively leaned into him, “I have ways of making people feel better that medicine can't touch, some might say I have a healing touch.”
Your laughter, light and genuine, cut through the cool air, a sound that seemed to bring relief to Dieter's expression. It was a welcome change from your earlier nausea, and his smile broadened, glad to see you feeling better.
He pulled you against his chest, dropping a kiss to the top of your head, “I'll have you know I have impeccable bedside manners.”
A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, “In fact, I could show you just how good my bedside manners are if you'd like.”
Before you could respond the moment was interrupted by a burst of laughter from the party, a reminder of the festivities happening just a few steps away.
You patted his chest with a sigh, “Maybe once we dock Nurse Bravo, we should head back.”
Dieter offered his arm, a gentlemanly gesture. “Shall we? Do a few laps and feign interest in the name of schmoozing?”
You nodded, smiling in appreciation as you hooked your arm through his and allowed him to lead you back to the party.
#december x 500#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo x reader#dieter bravo x f!reader#dieter bravo x female reader#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo fanfic#pedro pascal character fanfiction
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What are some scenarios that could lead old man Terry to meeting his future beloved? Like where would that era of Terry most likely meet his beloved?
---
The most obvious answers could be something like; at the Country Club! Some exclusive Gala! A high-end garden party! A Synagogue! An art exhibition! An elite charity event! A corporate meeting! An auction! A Yacht! An invite-only gentleman's joint! An Opera, for all we know. Anywhere from Korea, Tahiti, Japan and back again! Anywhere in the world, globetrotter that he is. Wherever the rich and the famous might mingle --- a crowd where Terry very much belongs and finds himself at home with. But, I think that answer only covers a small percentage of the actual truth.
Why?
Because I think Terry Silver, unbeknownst to most anyone, mingles everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. Yes, often times dressed as a common, unassuming bypasser just minding his own business; now you see him and now you don't. Sometimes, he's driving a run-down blue Ford truck posing himself as a hard-done-by Dojo owner downtown and other times, decades later, clearly not having changed all that much from his old ways, he might just be some smartly dressed, not at all shabby looking old man at the local Mini-Mart, intimidating Daniel Larusso between the produce aisles and leaving without buying a single thing. That's just a casual Wednesday for him. Nobody suspecting this is one of the wealthiest men on the West Coast, if not much, much further.
I think Terry Silver likes to scope out ordinary people, just for the sake of it.
He likes to scope out ordinary places too.
I think he enjoys the sport of getting down there with your commonplace Joe-Schmoe, and just observe, like one observes a Safari of animals. He likes to feel the pulse of everyone around him. Seek out opportunity, even if that opportunity rears its head in the form of some kid he bribes at a random club in 1985 to tactically hit on some girl so he can agitate Daniel into violence, right before making his quick escape into a back-alley in the dead of night, having caused a ruckus on the dance-floor. Yes, why not. It is fun, and Terry Silver seeks fun. It is also an investment and he seeks that doubly so. He seeks chance. Out on the street, in unexpected nooks and crannies or at a parking lot at midnight, while the very next day, he might be on the cover of Forbes as the most, ehm, Charitable Man of the Decade, and an incidental pedestrian would be none the wiser. Or they might just see his face on front page and think that that looks awfully familiar to that one guy, borderline thinking they've gone mad and are imagining things. That can't be same person, right? That might amuse Terry, in the most perverse and chaotic sense. Give him a sort of power --- over his environment and everyone around him, even mere strangers he has no intention of seeing ever again, except for what research and amusement they provided in the moment. The gleeful satisfaction that he's so big and so important and yet nobody knows. Not unless he wants them to, being entirely in control of the narrative and his identity --- and how it is perceived. That his ability to camouflage, disguise and hide himself with just a few cleverly chosen fashion choices and a difference in bearing is that great that it can trick people. The world is a sort of playground for him, and day-to-day people tend to be hilariously prone to being bribed, threatened, influenced, swayed, talked into things and used. Their lives are raw and interesting in ways that are hard to describe and it is a special type of voyeurism Terry Silver has undoubtedly indulged in in one form or another all his life.
Didn't Roman Emperors occasionally disguise themselves to mingle with the plebian rabble too? Terry fancies himself similar. In fact, he knows he is.
He also might be something of an adrenaline junkie; where just minding his own business stripped down from the strappings of his wealth might be genuinely engaging and good sport for him because he gets to know exactly how he will be viewed when nobody knows he's a Billionaire. His fascination almost experimental in nature, bearing a mischievous, childlike curiosity, if not an off-shoot of his tendency to pathologically lie and fabricate whole entire personalities, changing himself and his colors like a chameleon. Almost like he's goading people to show him exactly who they are. What they're like. What they're true nature is when faced with just some guy they've nothing to gain from out there.
So, beloved? Beloved might meet their King Cobra anywhere.
Anywhere at all.
A prospect both exciting and in equal measure daunting.
Because one never knows...
---
(I write more about this topic in my fanfic right here x)
#terry silver#kk3#cobra kai#80's terry silver#terry silver twig#twig terry silver#old man terry#character analysis#terry silver headcanons#terry silver headcanon#terry silver x reader#terry silver x beloved#meeting place#location#locations#tw; pathological lying#tw; identity issues#poorsona!terry
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