#Cooking Grid For Sams

[lesbiandanhowell]

I need them to give Yuki a grid cooking show á la grill the grid. He gives every team one recipe to cook and asks them cooking related questions (do you wash your rice?) and it would be absolutely hilarious chaos

[grillpartshub-blog]

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[alpaca-clouds]

How to cook in a medieval setting

Alright. As some of the people, who follow me for a longer while know... I do have opinions about cooking in historical settings. For everyone else a bit of backstory: When I was still LARPing, I would usually come to LARP as a camp cook, making somewhat historically accurate food and selling it for ingame coin. As such I know a bit about how to cook with a historical set up. And given I am getting so much into DnD and DnD stories right now, let me share a bit for those who might be interested (for example for stories and such).

🍲Cooking at Home

First things first: For the longest time in history most people did not have actual kitchens. Because actual kitchens were rather rare. Most people cooked their food over their one fireplace at home, which looked something like what you see above. There was something made of metal hanging over the fireplace. At times this was on hinges and movable, at times it was set in place. You could hang pots and kettles over it. When it came to pans, people either had a mount they would put over the fire or some kind of grid they could easily put into place there with some sourts of mounts (like the two metal thingies you can see above).

If you have a modern kitchen, you are obviously used to cook on several cooktops (for most people it is probably four of them), while in this historical you obviously only had one fire. Of course, as you can also see in the picture above, you could often put two smaller pots over the flames or put in a pan onto the fire additionally. But yes, the way we cook in modern times is very different.

Because of this a lot of people often ate stews and soups of sort. You could make those in just one pot - and often could eat from the same stew for days. In a lot of taverns the people had an "everything stew" going, which worked on the idea that everyone just brought their food leftovers, which were all put into one pot everyone would eat from.

Now, some alert readers might have also noticed something: What about bread and pastries? If you only have one fireplace and no oven, how did people make bread?

Well, there were usually three different methods for this. The most common one was communal ovens. Often people had one communal oven in a neighborhood. Especially in a village there might just be a communal oven everyone would just put their bread in to bake. (Though often this oven would only be fired up once or twice a week.)

The second version to deal with this some people used was a sort of what we today call a dutch oven. A pot made either of metal or clay with a lit you would put into the hot coals and then put bread or pastries into that, baking it like that.

There was also a version where people just baked bread in pans on the fire, rotating the bread during the baking process. At least some written accounts we have seem to imply. (Never tried this method, though. I have no idea how this might work. My camp bread was mostly done in dutch ovens or as stickbread.)

Keep in mind that the fireplace at home was very important for the people in historical times. Because it was their one source of warmth in the house.

🏕️ Cooking at Camp

Technically speaking cooking at camp is not that different - with the exception of course that you have to drag all your supplies along. And while in Baldur's Gate 3 and most other videogames you can carry around several sets of full-plate armor and several pounds of ingredients so that dear Gale can whip something up... In real life as an adventurer running around you need to make decisions on what to take along.

If you have read Lord of the Rings, you might remember how many people have criticized Sam for actually dragging all his cooking supplies along and how sad he was for not being able to cook for most of the time, because they were very limited in taking ingredients along.

So, yes, if you are an adventurer who is camping out in the open, you will probably need to do a lot of hunting and gathering to eat during your travels. You can take food for a couple of days along, but not for a lot.

A special challenge is of course, that while you can cook food for several days when you are at homes, you do not want to drag along a prepared stew for several days. So usually you will cook in smaller batches.

A lot of people who were journeying would often just take along one or two pots along.

So, what would you eat as an adventurer travelling around while trying to save the world from some evil forces? Well, it would depend on the time of the year of course. You would probably hunt yourself some food. For example hares, birds or squirrels. Mostly small things you can eat within one or two days. You do not want to drag along half a dead deer. In the warm months you might also forrage for all sorts of greens. You also can cook with many sorts of roots. Of course you can also always look into berries and other fruits you might find.

Things you might bring with you might be salt and some spices. A good thing to bring along would be herbs for tea, too, because I can tell you from experience that water you might have gotten from a river does not always taste very well - and springs with fresh water are often not accessible.

Now, other than what you can access the basic ideas of camping fires and cooking with them has not changed in the last few thousand years. While modern people camping usually have a car nearby and hence will have access to a lot of ingredients. But the general ideas of how to build a fire and put a pot over it... has not really changed.

So, yeah.

Just keep in mind that for the most part in historical settings until fairly recently, there was not much terms of proper kitchens. People cooked over an open fire and hence had to get at times ingenius about it.

[dannyphantom-justiceleauge]

The Fenton's powering the town via a portal to all times and dimensions is underused for eldritch town purposes. What if Sam's parents got replaced by a relative from the 60s and no one remembered? What about traits changing and no one commenting? People moving away only to have never considered moving a week later? And maybe only Danny and other ghosts notice.

This itches part of my brain in a good way. It also makes me think of nightvale and gravity falls as similar eldritch areas/hubs for the weird.

I've seen plenty if scenarios where amity is weird because of ambient ectoplasm leaking from the portal. Connecting ectoplasm to the power grid is just gonna speed that leak up. Pair this with amity canonically surviving both an apocalypse (via dan) and a trip to the zone (via pariah dark) due to the advanced ghost sheild it has. And mix in the headcannon the the giw pulled a massive coverup and basically wiped amity off the map and prevents people from contacting the outside world with tech. Maybe run with the amity is hard to find or leave due to dimension/ghost/magic. And we have a lovely little horror town.

Amity park, a place that is entirely paranormal, out of time, and technologically independent. A place that can survive virtually anything with its sheilds. A place where ghosts attack so regularly that the school has drills on how to react. A place that's been attacked by multiple gods in a short period of time. A place where the weatherman reports ghost attacks and if a specific person is going to be driving that day. (Asside the amount of visable crimes we see jack do, not just in driving but osha violations, assult, and property damage is making me wonder if he has some sort of diplomatic immunity. Why is he not in jail?)

The point is amity is absolutely a place where if you're driving late at night and your car breaks down, you find that you're not in kansas anymore. They have immaculately created an environment that sets of 'somethings not right here' vibes. And thats without looking at the physical effects of having an interdementional portal running the city's energy grid, the actual ghost attacks and the weird shit from that. I like to imagine that after undergrowths attack there are still parts of the city that haven't been reclaimed from plant hell. Gravity probably doesn't work right consistently. There's just pools of ectoplasm around from fights and there's a chance that if you poke those pools with a stick, the pool will come alive. There is a cooked turkey living in the alleys and gathering an army of living hot dogs. The teenagers all have been trained to fight and use weapons. There's a military presence trying to hush things up and attacking civilians.

Amity has so fully embraced being weird! i need more stories of normal people, or outside heroes, recognizing that this place is messed up and basically feeling like they're in a horror movie. Meanwhile everyone in amity is perfectly polite and adjusted to the weird. Crime is at an all time low, reparing property damage has been reduced down to a science, and a little common sense can get you out of most situations. All else fails just wait for Phantom.

Anything can be normal if you live in it long enough. But that doesn't mean the unprepared aren't right to be afraid

- hestia

[deans-baby-momma]

Anonymously Yours

Will a wrong number lead to love? 

BOLD = wrong number's messages

Italics= Y/N's messages

A/N: Thanks to @kazsrm67 for being my beta for this story and also @chriszgirl92 who bullied me into letting her read it before it was posted, who actually found mistakes that had been overlooked. LOL

‘Hey girl! I had fun last night with you. Maybe we can do it again sometime.’

‘Wrong number.’

‘Girl, quit playing! It's me. Did you get so drunk you developed amnesia?’

‘DUDE! It's 6 am. I've been asleep all night. As I said before, wrong number!’

‘Oh come on darlin’. I know you didn't give me a fake number.’

Y/N's phone lights up her face as she reads the last message. This guy just wasn't giving up. 

‘Listen Romeo. Whoever you met last night either gave you a random number or you put it in your phone wrong. Sorry but I'm not her.”

‘I can't believe this. This never happens to me. Well, I'm sorry for waking you up. Have a good day.’

Y/N slams her phone down on the mattress and closes her eyes, willing for sleep to overtake her. But it never comes. She can't stop thinking about the poor schmuck at the other end of the conversation. 

She sighs as she re-opens her eyes and grabs her phone

‘I'm sorry for being such a bitch. It's early. I didn't sleep well and shouldn't have taken it out on you. I hope you find the girl who fooled you…..but seriously if she just gave you a random number, she probably wasn't all that into you.’

‘Yea. That's pretty obvious. But thanks for laying it out like that. And sorry for waking you up. Again.’

Y/N read the message and then threw the comforter off her body, sitting up and placing her feet on the cold concrete floor of her room. 

That's the thing about living in an underground monster-proof shelter….it's always cold! Especially in the deeper quarters, like the bedrooms and restrooms. 

But being in the business of keeping the world safe from what goes bump in the night, Y/N and the Winchester Brothers must adapt and overcome the inconvenience of living off the grid.

So, an old defunct Men of Letters safe house is Home Sweet Home for the martyrs.

After using the facilities and brushing her teeth, Y/N heads toward the kitchen area, her stomach growling for sustenance.

She and Sam had spent days researching and analyzing tomes, trying to gather lore on how to kill a Khiksaz, the newest threat to the population. So much so, that it has been close to 24 hours since she had eaten anything. 

She was starving!

The delightful aroma of coffee engaged  her senses as she neared the kitchen. Inhaling the caffeinated fragrance, she entered the room to get her fill. 

Dean, the oldest brother, stood at the stove flipping bacon. The sizzle of the meat met her ears and she hummed in bliss. 

Y/N loved Dean's cooking skills. He could turn the most mundane ingredients into a delectable, magnificent meal.

“Good morning sweetheart,” he says as turns to look at her. “Sleep well?”

Y/N sips the hot beverage, letting the liquid brew wake her more and warm her from the inside.

“I guess,” she answers as she takes a seat at the table. “No nightmares, so that's a plus I guess.”

Dean approaches the table with a plate of bacon and pancakes that were warming in the oven and sets it in front of her.

“Progress though, right?” 

That's the thing about Dean and Y/N; they share a connection of both suffering from nightmares. Dean’s of Hell and Y/N’s of witnessing her family get murdered by a rugaru while on the annual family camping trip.

The only thing that saved Y/N from the monster who stole her family was the fact that she had stepped out of the tent and wandered into the woods to find a spot to relieve her full bladder. She had watched from her hiding place behind a big oak as the giant beast tore her mother, her father and little brother to shreds. The guttural screams still haunted her all these years later!

“Yea, I guess so,” she admitted. “But I also feel like if I don’t dream about them, it means I’m forgetting them.”

“I know sweetheart,” Dean says from his side of the table as he pours a generous amount of molasses on his hotcakes. “But I’ve told you before. Just because you don’t dream about them doesn’t mean they’re not still in your thoughts; doesn’t mean you don’t love them or miss them anymore.”

“Yeah,” Y/N answers forlornly. “I know you’re right.”

She takes a bite of her own breakfast and moans obscenely at the burst of flavor. 

“So how was your night?” she asks, knowing Dean had left to search for a hook-up to take his mind off the monotony of research. “Did you find some willing girl to get your rocks off?”

That’s another thing about Dean and Y/N’s relationship-friendship; they were crass and blunt with one another. They were like two peas in a pod. And it all started when Dean came to Y/N for advice on what exactly women want in a hook-up.

FLASHBACK

“Y/N,” Dean says as he sits at the table where she had been scouring an old journal she’d found in the library. “You’re a female, right?”

The question catches Y/N off guard and she laughs. “Yes, Dean. Unless I’ve been cursed in the last 5 minutes, I am a female. I have a vagina and boobs.”

“Smart ass,” Dean says with a smile. “Can I ask you something though? Something that only another female might understand.”

“Sure, Dean. What is it?”

“What do women look for in a hook-up?” 

“I’m going to be blatantly honest with you here,” she says and continues once Dean nods. “Plain and simple. To get off. Someone who knows what to do with what the good lord gave him.  We don’t really care about size but if you don’t know how to use what you got, we have to do It ourselves. And while that gets the job done, it's not as fun. As the saying goes, ‘It's not topside of the boat; it's the motion of the ocean’.

“So, Mr. Winchester,” Y/N smirks as she places her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her palms. “Do you know how to use what you got?”

She smiles as she notices the blush creeping up his neck. Who knew Dean Winchester could get flustered so easily? 

Y/N would be lying if she said she'd never noticed how handsome Dean Winchester is. She has eyes with perfect vision, she can see the sex appeal. But she swore to herself that she would never be the fly caught in his web. 

Dean Winchester was a player and a philanderer. He didn't do romantic relationships. Something else they had in common.

Y/N found out very early in her adult life that her choice of profession didn't lead to having a partner who understood the need, the commitment to keeping others safe from attacks of the paranormal.

So, much like the oldest Winchester, she sought out one-night stands, a love-em-and-leave-em situation was what worked best. 

“Awww is Dean-o embarrassed? Well, tell me this then.  Canoe, yacht or cruise ship?”

Dean flips her off and pushes up out of his chair and rushes off down the hallway, Y/N's laughter following him.

END FLASHBACK

After breakfast was finished, with Sam popping in after his early morning run to mix up a smoothie Y/N and the Winchesters gathered in the library to research more about the Khiksaz.

About an hour and one less brother later, Y/N's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulls it out and notices it's the same number from earlier with another text.

‘You single? There's not some big burly man out for my head for waking you up this morning is there?

‘No worries Romeo. Single as a Pringle over here.’

‘That's good. You seem nice.’

Y/N couldn't help but laugh at that. This morning she had been bitchy and quite frankly rude to this stranger and he just called her nice.

Sam looked up from the book he was reading, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Sorry. Just read something funny on my phone.”

As soon as Sam was once again studying what he was reading, Y/N began texting her new friend.

‘Is that your way of asking to be friends?’

‘What if it is? What would your answer be?’

Y/N left him on Read as she contemplated his question.  Would it be so horrible to befriend this guy? She knows nothing about him and he knows nothing about her. It could remain anonymous and be something to get her through the boring task of research. 

‘It stays anonymous. You don't ask my name and I don't ask yours. We'll keep it casual unless one of us has a bad day. Then we'll help the other out. No pictures, no voice messages, no videos. Capichè?’

‘You sure do drive a hard bargain RG. But okay.’

‘RG?’

‘Yea. Regina George….you know the bitchy bitch from Mean Girls.’

‘Are you seriously calling me a bitch this early in the friendship?!’

‘NO!!! God no! You said it yourself this morning. You apologized for being a bitch. Sorry. I'll come up with another name for you.’ 

‘Oh. Haha. You got me. Okay, Regina or RG is fine.’

‘Good because I already gave you that moniker in my phone.’

The rest of the afternoon consisted of researching this new species of monster and texting Romeo, as he was now labeled in her phone.

Dean was once again absent from the library after he had brought in some sandwiches he had whipped up. 

As evening approaches, Sam and Y/N were still poring over the lore and taking notes. Dean walks Into the library with a whistle on his lips and his keys twirling around his finger.

“See ya later nerd,” he calls out as he heads up the stairs.

“Wrap it before you tap it,” Y/N yells.

“Fuck you!”

“No thanks.”

And then he was gone.  Off to find some floozy in a bar to make him forget the awful world they live in.

Y/N retired to her room around midnight, her eyes tired and her back aching from leaning over all day.

As she changes into her pajamas She hears her phone ding with a message.

‘You awake?’

‘No. I'm sleeping peacefully.  Ha! I just climbed into bed. What's going on?’

‘Eh. Nothing much. Just lonely.’

‘Lonely? You mean Romeo didn't go out and try to find another conquest?’

‘Not really in the mood. Just wanted to have a conversation that didn't lead to anything.’

‘Okay. So tell me about your day.’

Y/N laid in bed, reading texts about Romeo's job in pest control and how he hated that customers would call him in about their problems but when he eradicated the vermin there was no appreciation, no gratitude.

She tells him about her work as customer service and how she suffers the same fate. 

‘The adage “The Customer is Always right” is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit!’

‘I feel you there sister.’

The two of them keep texting back and forth throughout the night until Y/N hears Dean’s early morning return from wherever he’d been. She made a note to sanitize Baby’s backseat before their next trip.

She listens to his footfalls approaching and then continues past her room to reach his,  further down the hallway.

‘God this night sucks! I just want to fall into bed and sleep. Text tomorrow, bestie?’

‘Tomorrow Romeo.’

That night, Y/N’s sleep is plagued with nightmares. They consist of the anonymous person on the other side of the phone. As the night continues the images behind her eyelids morph into more pleasant ones. Her dream guy is tall, muscular with beautiful features and a complete sweetheart; a complete and adorable heartthrob.

She wakes the next morning with a smile on her lips and an urgent need to masterbate. She sends out a silent  thank you  to the girl who gave out the wrong number; before making her way to the bathroom.

A week later, Sam and Y/N finally had enough knowledge and data on the Khiksaz for the three of them to venture out to the small community of Sikeston, MO and take this monster on. 

With help from the immense amount of lorebooks and tomes in the library of the Bunker, they figured out that a Khiksaz was a phantasm from a tribes of Arabian descent that had been captured and stored for millennia in a handspun clay jar after the spirit ripped through the older members of the tribe and began to beseech the still infantile and juvenile members to allow it to lead them.

One of the oldest chiefs, a religious man, conjured up a binding spell that captured and trapped the Khiksaz creature into the urn for all eternity. Unfortunately, someone in Missouri had come across the container and, not knowing what it contained, unleashed the beast which   was causing chaos and devastation in the small town. 

Sam and Y/N had worked mercifully at creating a copy of the enchantment and found a similar vessel to once again apprehend the offending spirit.

It was a 9 hour drive that took Dean only 7 to accomplish. Once they were checked in and unpacked, the three of them set out to make sure they had what they needed to accomplish the job.

Well, Sam and Y/N did. Dean sulked and flipped through the television channels until he found an old John Wayne western to watch.

Y/N felt her phone buzz in her pocket, but she was too busy perusing the spell once again to check. 

After a few minutes, Dean huffed and turned the tv off and announced he was going out to find some fun in this one-horse town.

Y/N had had enough of his attitude for the last few days. He had been agitated and snippy at them both. 

“God damn Dean! We are here to get this Khiksaz not for you to get your dick wet in some strange pussy!”

“Don’t you fucking worry about where my dick is going!” Dean yells back. “I don’t need a cunt to get off. My hand works just fine. I just need a drink or twelve.”

“Asshole!” Y/N says, stepping up to the older Winchester and getting in his face.

“You’re insufferable! I’ll see you two when I see you.”

He steps toward the door, throws a middle finger sign over his shoulder and sings, “Don’t wait up.”

Y/N growls. She literally and audibly growls.

“What the hell is his problem?!” she asks, rhetorically.

“He’s Dean,” Sam tries to reason. “You know how he is.”

“Yea, he’s a giant asshole.”

Once the two of them get the spell and weapons, along with the container to hold the Khiksaz in, they decide to go find something to eat. 

While waiting on Sam to use the restroom, Y/N pulls her phone from her pocket to see a text from Romeo.

‘How you doin’?”

‘Friends fan huh? So maybe I should call you Joey. By the way, that is the lamest pickup line ever.’

‘I thought it was pretty good. In the 90s. It worked a few times.’

‘Yes I tried it.’

‘An no, I’m not hitting on you’ 

‘I don't know whether to be pleased or offended.’

‘Why?’

‘Why what?’

‘Never mind. So what are you doing?’

‘Getting ready to head out and get a bite to eat.’

‘Alone?’

‘Nope.  My brother is coming with.’

‘Oh. You have a brother? So do I.’

‘Cool. What are you doing? I thought we were keeping this anonymous?’

‘You're right. No deep seated questions about one another. Sorry.’

‘Feeling like a jerk. A co-worker of mine and I got into it and I said some things I didn’t mean and now I regret it.’

‘So go apologize.’

‘Yea. I probably need to. ‘

‘Go apologize Romeo. Or I’ll send my brother to kick your ass.’

‘You make your brother do all your dirty work?’

‘I don’t make him do anything. But anyway, he’s out of the bathroom now so I’ll catch you on the flip side.’

‘And go apologize.’

As they walked across the highway to the diner, Sam brought up the texting.

“You have a boyfriend or something?”

“No,” Y/N answers sheepishly. “Just a friend….who might be a guy.”

She waits until after the waitress takes their order before delving into the whole story of how some random guy began texting her because he was given the wrong number by a girl.

“Ouch! That’s harsh.,” Sam says. “But what do you know about this guy? Is there a reason the girl gave him a fake number?”

Y/N shrugs as she takes a sip of water. “I dunno. Like, he seems nice. And we get along. But just through text. I don’t even know his real name. I called him Romeo in jest and it kind of just stuck.”

“You don’t even know his name?! Does he know yours?”

“No,” Y/N laughs at the ridiculousness of it. “He refers to me as Regina or RG.”

Sam looks at her confused so she explains. 

“Regina George from Mean Girls. I was kind of a bitch to him, like Regina is to everyone in the movie. I didn’t take offense to it. I thought it was quite hilarious.”

“Let me see your phone,” Sam says, holding his hand out for it.

Y/N watches Sam scroll through her contacts until he gets to ‘Romeo”. He opens the information tab and studies it. His lips pull into a quarter smile as he closes the phone and hands it back.

“What?”

“What, nothing? What was the smile for?”

“What smile? I’m just happy you made a friend outside Dean and I. I mean, you gotta be careful because of our line of work. But I like that you have someone else to talk to.”

“Oh.”

The waitress brings their food and the subject is dropped. Their attention and concentration goes back to the job at hand and they discuss how to lure the Khiksaz out and distract it while the incantation is said.

In the early morning hours, Y/N is awakened by Dean stumbling into the room, blitzed out of his mind. He staggers to the mini-fridge and pulls out a bottle of water, opening it and downing it. 

Between the smell of booze and the aroma of some of the most fragrant perfume, Y/N can’t help but gag. Dean notices the involuntary movement and shakes his head.

He cautiously walks to the bed and sits down beside Y/N. 

“Are you here to gloat?” she whispers. “I really don’t want to hear about your sexcapades with some poor hometown girl.”

“Y/N, we’re friends right?” Dean says instead and it shocks her.

“Yes, Dean. We’re friends.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to call you an uptight cunt.”

“Um, Dean? You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. On the drive over to the bar. I called you an uptight cunt and a self-righteous prude and I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven,” Y/N says, burrowing her nose into the pillow. “But please go shower and wash that stink off you before I puke!”

Dean chuckles. “Yes ma’am.”

Unfortunately the next day does not go to plan at all. Both Winchesters and Y/N are thrown around while fighting and trying to capture the Khiksaz. Sam ends up with a concussion but Y/N breaks a couple of ribs. 

With horrible dictation, Dean gets the spell read and the monster is once again bottled up and will make the trek back to Kansas to be stored away in the dungeon of the Bunker.

Y/N feels every curve and bump in the road of the 647 mile trip. Broken ribs are uncomfortable and painful when you're lying still but Dean insists on driving like a bat out of Hell. 

He is on a tangent about how the information they had to the Khiksaz wasn’t complete and they didn’t know it had powers and how it’s his fault for leaving the research up to the two of them.

Sam tries in vain to reason with his hard-headed brother. 

“We don’t always know everything about the monsters we go up against. This is just another instance!”

“Yea. Well-”

“Well, nothing! This hunt was no different than when we went up against that Wendigo or the rugaru that killed Travis! What?! Is it because Y/N got hurt? Is that why you're so pissed off?”

“We all got banged up; it's not just her,” Dean defended. “You have a concussion for Christ's sake!”

“And your brooding and griping isn't helping.  Let's just call it a win and move on. Please!” Y/N pleaded from the backseat. “And Dean? Slow the fuck down! You're killing me back here.”

Knowing that his erratic speeding and Baby's lack of sufficient suspension is probably agonizing with busted ribs, he took his foot off the gas.

“Sorry sweetheart,” he apologizes.  “I just want to get back to Bunker to rest and recuperate. I'll go slower.”

The rest of the ride was quiet and uneventful, other than when Sam tried to fall asleep and Dean blasted Metallica to keep his brother awake.

Once parked in the garage, Dean hurried to help Y/N sit up and get out of the car and hovered around her as she made her way to her room.

“You need anything, just holler okay?”

“Thanks Dean.”

As soon as he was out of the room and the door was closed, Y/N pulled her phone out.

‘I've had a shitty day at work. Tell me a joke.

There was no response for the longest time; so long Y/N began wondering if Romeo had actually blocked her.

‘Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?’

‘No. What happened?’

‘He pasta-way!’

‘OMG! They was corny as fuck!’

‘Forrest Gump’s email is 1forrest1.’

‘That one is no better. Lol. But they made me smile.  Thank you Romeo.’

‘You're welcome Regina. Wanna tell me about your day?’

‘Nah, that's okay. It was just another one dealing with ungrateful, unappreciative customers.’

‘How was yours?’

‘Honestly, about like yours. Customer called with a rodent nuisance and I took care of it. Customer never acknowledged it.’

‘People suck!’

‘Yes, they do.’

The phone was silent for a few minutes before it buzzed again with an incoming text.

‘I ordered a chicken  and an egg online. I'll let you know which comes first.’

‘Ya know, I'm starting to understand why that girl gave you the wrong number. You. Are. A. Dork!’

‘You asked for it missy! I am quite offended. I'm the farthest thing from a dork. I'm suave and charming for your information!’

‘And a dork. But you made me smile with your silly dad jokes. So thank you.’

‘Glad I could make you feel better. Our conversations make me happy.’

‘Same goes for me. But I'm getting pretty tired so I'm gonna try to get some shut eye. Good night Romeo. :*’

Y/N's eyes widened as she realized what she had done. She'd sent him a kiss face! A stranger! Someone she didn't really know. 

What if he took that the wrong way? They had agreed to be anonymous friends. FRIENDS, nothing more. So why did she send him that?

What did it mean?! Was she developing feelings for this mysterious man? 

She thought back to just a few nights ago, the erotically passionate dream she'd had with what she imagined this stranger to look like.

She reminisced of her dream Romeo kissing her breathless, worshiping her body as if it were a temple; of how they had fervidly made love into the early morning hours. He had brought her pleasure numerous times!

Oh fuck! She was falling for him.

‘Sweet dreams darlin’ :*’

Y/N laid awake for hours, contemplating on how to handle the knowledge that she was falling for the stranger. 

How was it possible to develop feelings for someone you've never met, someone you'd never laid eyes on. Hell, she didn't even know the sound of his voice.

Around dawn, she decided she would no longer exchange messages with him and as soon as her body was healed, she was going to go find some willing guy to fuck Romeo's memory away.

Of course, she was awakened by her phone alerting her that a text was waiting.

‘Good morning beautiful’

‘You're probably still asleep’

‘I just can't get you out of my head’

‘Maybe we should break the anonymous rule and meet?’

Y/N read each of the lines over and over, each time making her heart drop. She didn’t know what to do.

She began to think that maybe she should’ve just ignored and erased his first message; when she realized it was a complete stranger who had accidentally texted the wrong number. She shouldn't have engaged with him. Now she was in this predicament. Of course, this is how her life is, fucked up and confusing as hell!

Y/N silences her phone and rolls out of bed carefully. The motion takes her breath away as her broken ribs shift with the motion. She makes her way to the door and down the hallway toward the bathroom, only to be almost bowled over when Sam, dripping wet and shirtless, comes barreling out of the bathroom.

“Oof.”

“Oh god Y/N. I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, profusely. “I didn’t expect you to be out of bed. Dean said he was going to bring you breakfast.”

“That’s sweet of him,” Y/N responded with a smile. “But that doesn’t negate my bladder issues.”

Sam laughed and stepped to the side. “Yea, I guess not. So, ummm…I guess I’ll come check on you later?”

“Okay,” she says as she closes the door to the communal bathroom and shuffles to the row of toilets. As she went to sit, she realized that the mundane task was hindered; she couldn’t bend without excruciating pain radiating from her thorax. 

Even though her bladder was yelling at her to be emptied, Y/N stood and studied the ancient throne. With a small shrug, she grabbed the roll of tissue and tore off a few squares of paper before pulling her leg out of one side of her sleep pants and straddling the seat.

After cleaning up-because peeing like a man isn’t as easy for a woman as you’d think- Y/N heads back to her room, where as Sam said, Dean was waiting with a tray of eggs, bacon and coffee.

“Oooh, nectar of the Gods,” Y/N says as she reaches for the hot beverage. “Thanks Dean!”

“You’re welcome. How’re you feeling?”

“I’ve been better. I can tell you that,” she answers. “I’m going to try to wrap them later.”

“I can help you do that,” Dean says as he watches her sit on the bed before sitting the tray of food on the table. “You probably can’t get it tight enough.”

“M'kay.”

A few hours later

“Dean, I swear to Chuck if you try to cop a feel, I’ll kick your ass!”

“Oh be quiet, Y/N/N. It’s not like I haven’t seen them before,” Dean teases. 

And he was right. On a couple occasions the eldest Winchester had been witness to Y/N’s top half of her body exposed; whether it’d be walking into the bathroom as she was exiting the shower or when she got wasted at that bar the three hunters visited and she flashed the whole crowd as she finished singing “Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin; well butchered it would be a better word as she couldn’t hit a single good note in her inebriated state. 

But she was being ogled by a fellow patron and was feeling frisky so after placing the mic back on the stand, she flipped her shirt up and flashed the whole bar. Her bra covered the main parts but it had been a ragged one and didn’t hide much. 

So, yea Dean and Sam and half the community of Bumfuck, NM had seen her tits.

“I know,” she giggles and then groans as he wraps the gauze around her torso tightly. “Motherfuck! That hurts.”

“Cry baby,” Dean jokes. 

“Let me kick you in your balls and see how you feel,” Y/N threatens. 

“Hey now. If I can’t grope you, you aint groping me!” 

“You’re such a dork!” Y/N says and they both laugh.

“Okay, you’re all bandaged up now,” Dean says as he hands her her shirt. “Go on and get redressed.”

As soon as Dean leaves, Y/N feels her phone buzzing in her pocket.

‘Regina? Are you there?’

‘Did I scare you off?’

‘Could you please answer me?’

‘Please?’

Y/N pockets the device and heads back to her room. How is she going to answer him? Is she? 

She sits on her bed and stares at the phone as it begins vibrating again.

‘I’m sorry. Whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry.’

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she answers.

‘I’m here. I’m fine. No you didn’t scare me off. You actually didn’t do anything. I did. We agreed to be friends and I went and let my feelings take control and didn’t even realize it until I sent you the emoji after my message.’

‘I know you aren’t interested in me. I know I’m just the consolation prize for the busty brunette or blonde, maybe even a redhead, that you were really hoping to talk to and text. I won’t hold it against you if you want to stop texting. No need to meet in person to tell me.’

Y/N reads over her message a couple times before hitting send and laying her phone down. It immediately starts ringing.

Romeo calling…..

Fuck!

‘I’m not answering you.’

The phone stops ringing and then a message comes through.

‘You have it all wrong, darlin’. You are not a consolation prize…not even close! I wanted to tell you, to say the words to you. But you won’t answer so I’ll just type them. I’ve fallen for you too.’

‘Don’t just say that to appease me. I’m a big girl. I can take rejection’

‘Baby, rejection is the last thing on my mind. Will you please answer the phone?’

Y/N reads Romeo’s last message a few times before she opens the chat box and responds.

‘No. But I will agree to meet you. Work is going to be pretty busy for the next few weeks and I won’t have much free time. So, how about two months from now we meet at a mutually agreed upon place and see where this goes?’

‘Deal.’

Y/N knew that in a couple months her ribs would be healed enough to not raise any questions or alert Romeo to the fact that she fights monsters for a living and not existing in a dead-end customer service job as she had alleged to.

The next few days, Sam and Dean went on a couple little salt-and-burns, leaving Y/N at the Bunker to continue healing.

Y/N and her mysterious Casanova texted continuously, getting to know one another better and just regaling one another with childhood memories and stories. 

It was nice; it was befitting for two strangers to become acquainted. Y/N still refused to actually speak to the man she had feelings for. The secrecy was thrilling to her and she preferred the voice he had in her now-nightly dreams.

To pop that bubble by finding out he had a high pitched, nasally voice would be most crushing.

Of course, she hadn't told Romeo her real past. He knew her parents had passed, but she claimed a car accident took them from her.

She felt terrible for lying to him but how do you tell someone that your parents were killed by a beast that isn't supposed to exist?

What Y/N doesn't know though is Romeo had lied to her about his past also.

When Sam and Dean returned from their latest hunt, neither one of them acknowledged Y/N or said a word.

Both Winchester stomped to their respective rooms and she heard one door slam right after the other did.

“What's gotten into them?” she wondered aloud before going back to reading the book she had found. It was an erotic novel.

Greg  cups her cheeks in his hands and he leans into her, closing the distance until their lips meet. His were soft and plump against her thin, chapped ones, but the lack of moisture on her lips was the last thing on her mind. He licked the dry vessels until she obliged opening them, inviting him in to taste her.

Greg’s, Romeo’s  moans filled her ears as he explored her mouth, his tongue wrestling with hers.

Layla Regina threw her arms over his shoulder and planted her hands against the back of his head, pulling her lover closer and deeper into herself. 

They stumble and almost fall but right themselves before hitting the bed, her on her back and his weight pushing her into the mattress. As his hands begin wandering her body, Regina silently begs for his hand on her most intimate area. As his palm slides down the skin of her abdomen, she wonders if her prayers were heard.

After becoming so enthralled with the book that she was even substituting her and Romeo’s nicknames into the plotline she missed the sound of Dean’s boots thudding down the corridor.

“What has you all dreamy-eyed and drooling?”

Y/N jumps in her seat and slams the novel shut, internally lamenting the fact that she didn't mark her place for later indulgence. 

She looks up to see Dean standing at the mouth of the hallway, a couple of beer bottles in his hand.

“Are you reading porn?” he asks with a laugh and a smirk.

“It's a romance novel, dumbass!”

“Eh, same thing,” Dean shrugs as he steps toward her and offers her one of the beers. “Romance guy woos the damsel right into his bed.”

“So, you know oh so much about this subject, I take it you've read a lot of romance novels?” Y/N snarks.

“You know as well as I do, life doesn't happen that way,” Dean says instead of answering her. “It's a lot more messier and a lot less loving.”

“Are you telling me you don't woo all those unwitting hookups you have? Not even just a little bit?”

“Oh no. I woo the hell out of them. Tell them exactly what they want to hear-” he takes a drink then continues. “Then I get what I'm after and leave before daylight. Easy in, easy out.”

“You are a real piece of work Dean,” Y/N says with a laugh. “Those poor women probably think they've finally found the man of their dreams and the poof! you're gone.”

“Oh like the schmucks you hook don't know you're a one and done?” Dean says, rolling his eyes. “I've heard them before, telling you all their hopes and dreams. I've heard them during, thinking you are ‘the best they ever had’- their words, by the way- and then you're usually in the back of Baby before Sam's even gone for his run.”

“Oh my god,” Y/N laughs, trying to hide the embarrassment of the fact Dean has heard some of her excursions. But that's what you get when you stay in cheap motel rooms with thin walls. “That was one time! And he was a clingy fucker. Always had to be touching me; my face, my hands, my hips. Hell he even tried to suck my toes. Eww!” she shivers at the memory. “I couldn’t get away fast enough.”

They both laugh and then it goes quiet as they drink. 

“So, um…” Dean begins. “Girls, ahem women, don't like that? The touching?”

“No. I mean yea we love an attentive man but sometimes it just takes away from the whole experience. Touch me all you want, run your hands all over me. Play with my tits, my clit…hell a little ass play ain't out of the cards but once he's inside me, I expect to get fucked! Not just filled and rubbed. Use that dick and make me feel it. Ya know? It's inside me for a reason.”

Dean shifts and adjusts his body in his chair and clears his throat. “Okay. Okay. I get that but let's change the subject.”

“Oh is Deanie-poo getting turned on?” Y/N jests. “You got a big ole boner under this table?”

“Shut up Y/N,” Dean mutters before  getting up and bolting back toward his room, his half-empty beer bottle still on the table.

Y/N shakes her head and laughs before opening her book to try to find the place she left off at.

Why is it that time crawls when you are looking forward to something? 

Y/N's ribs are slowly healing, thanks to the Winchesters generous and considerable care. They both made sure she was taking it easy and mending.

Sam always made her stretch and exercise what she could so her muscles wouldn't lock up and get sore while Dean kept her fed and hydrated and in good spirits with his complete goofy foolishness.

Y/N also noticed that as time went on and closer to her “date” with Romeo, Dean began to get happy and cheerful and just completely giddy. 

Not like him at all. She'd also noticed he went out a lot more than usual. Once the day was done, Dean would disappear with only the sounds of his beloved Impala leaving the compound behind.

Does he have a girlfriend? Has he met someone and is unofficially officially dating? Who is she? When will she and Sam get to meet her? Will they?

Y/N didn't put much more thought into Dean's disappearance because truth be told, she had her own secret. She was in deep with Romeo.

They had texted regularly after their proclamation and had even done a little sexting.

Nothing too graphic, just a few descriptive words here and there and talking about using and touching. But it was enough to make Y/N wet and yearn for the day she finally sets eyes on her Romeo.

‘What are you wearing, gorgeous?’

Y/N smiled as she read the words on the screen. 

‘Wouldn't you like to know.’ she teased.

‘I wouldn't have asked if I didn't.’

‘I'm sitting on my bed in a lace bustier with the matching thong. I'm so lonely Romeo.’

‘Is that an invitation? Because I can be there in no time at all.’

‘Haha. I’m only joking with you. I’m sitting here in an old pair of ratty sweats and a tee-shirt that had way too many stains to be presentable. My hair is up in a bun on top of my head but most of it has already fallen out and is just blowing in my face. I do not want you to see me like that at all.’

‘So when we meet in a few days, I still won’t get to see the real you? You’re going to be all dolled up and not the picture of perfection that you just described.’

‘Romeo, believe me….NO ONE wants to see this.’

‘I do. I am going to be honest with you. I am tired of going out and hooking up with people who don’t show their true selves. Who lie about who they are, what they do….give out random wrong numbers. I’m ready to be with a real person.’

‘Wow. That is honest. And truthfully, I feel the same.’

‘Maybe getting the wrong number was an omen. Someone up there believes we are both ready for something substantial. Shit, duty calls. I’ll text you soon :*’

As soon as Y/N read Romeo’s last message, Sam was knocking on her door.

“Come in,” she calls and the tall, long-haired man peeps around the open door.

“Just got off the phone with Jody. She needs help. I called Dean and he’s coming to pick me up and head to Sioux Falls. Wanted to let you know.”

“Okay. What’s Jody got?”

“Sounds like a cursed object wreaking havoc. A couple of bodies have come up….” Sam begins to explain and Y/N pushes herself off the bed and begins throwing items in a bag. “Wait, what’re you doing?”

“I’m coming with, I’m tired of sitting here by myself. Don’t worry,” she says as Sam gives her a pointed look. “I will stay away from the line of fire so to speak. I can hang with Claire and Alex or something.”

“Okay,” Sam answers, skeptically. “I don’t know if the girls are even home. You know, Claire has been hunting and Alex….well, she has her own friends now. You might be stuck at Jody’s by yourself so how’d that be different than staying here?”

“Sammy,” she says, patronizingly. “Jody’s has windows and sunshine and warmth and just please let me go?”

“Yea I guess I can see your point,” Sam answers and Y/N pumps her fist in the air before finishing packing. “By the way, Samuel, were you calling me old? When you said the girls might not even be there? Insinuating that they wouldn’t want to be saddled with the old, hurt woman?”

“Shut up, Y/N” Sam says with a smile. “You know that’s not what I meant!”

Dean didn’t seem surprised at all when Y/N threw her bag into the back seat of the Impala and climbed in. He just nodded and as soon as everyone was loaded, took off toward South Dakota.

“Y/N!” Sheriff Mills exclaims as we all exit Baby. “I didn't expect you to come. But am I glad you did.”

She hugs me and whispers in my ear, “I sure could use another female to talk to.”

“I'm here,” I whisper back and then pull away from her embrace. “I'm gonna crash on your couch while these two help you with your case.”

“Good. Good.” 

She turns to the Winchester and greets them with their own hugs. After the warm welcome, the three of them head toward the station to discuss the case.

Y/N pulls the erotic novel she's reading and heads to the park across the street and sits at a table.

Opening to the page she marked, she immerses herself back into the story. As she continued reading about the marriage of Greg and Layla, the fictional characters in the story, she began fantasizing about another wedding; one that featured herself and Romeo. 

She is brought back to the present when her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out to see a message from the man she can't seem to quit thinking about. She smiles as she reads the words, remembering how she felt as they vowed their lives to one another.

‘Another day, another rodent to take down.  Please tell me your day is better’

‘Not really. This seminar is taking forever.’

Before Romeo can respond, she hears Dean call her name and she turns to see him slide his phone into the front pocket of his jeans as he heads to the Impala.

“We're heading to Jody's,” he announces. “You coming?”

Y/N hurries to mark the place she thinks she left off at and shuts the book before jogging across the empty road to get to the Impala.

“Did you figure out what’s going on this time?”

“We think it’s Lamia,” Sam answers. “Bobby went up against one, years ago but he put it through a wood chipper so this is not the same one but it’s the same M.O. They look female and seduce men and then choke them and eat their hearts.”

“Ew. Well, where’re we going to find a woodchipper?”

“We’re not,” Dean says. “I’m going to pretend to be the victim and then stab it with a blessed  silver knife and burn it.”

“That’s risky,” Y/N states, worry about her friend filling her with dread.

“Well…” Dean says with a shrug and the conversation ends.

They pull into Jody’s driveway to see the Sheriff having a very animated conversation with her surrogate daughter, Claire.

They watch through the windshield as Jody hugs Claire and then the young blonde heads toward an old jalopy of a car and takes off.

“That girl is going to be the death of me,” Jody exclaims and her three guests join her. “Come on in guys. I’m making lasagna.”

That night, after helping Jody with the dishes, Y/n and the Sheriff join the Winchesters on the back deck of Jody’s modest ranch-style home.

The conversation flows but no one brings up the case at hand. 

Y/N notices Dean is distracted and keeps looking down at his lap and wonders if he is beginning to regret his role as the Lamia’s victim.

‘Just to let you know. Something’s come up and I gotta leave town for a few days so you might not hear from me for a while. Just know I will be back for our date. I’m looking forward to it.’

Y/N reads the message and smiles. She’s been looking forward to it also. 

‘Be safe and I’ll talk to you soon :*’

After the guys go up to bed, Jody and Y/N finish their glass of wine and stargaze.

“So what’s new with you?”

Y/N turns her head, looks at the older woman and smiles.

“I have a date.”

“Oooo, tell me more. Who is he? Does he know about….?” Jody begins badgering her with questions.

“I don’t know his name. I call him Romeo; it’s a joke between us. He, uh…..a few weeks ago, someone apparently gave him a fake number and he texted it but it wasn’t exactly fake. It was mine. We’ve been texting back and forth since and agreed to meet.”

“Oh,” Jody says, looking apprehensive.

“What is it?”

“How do you know this ain’t some demon or monster just trying to get to you and the boys Y/N? 

“I’ve thought about that, Jod. I’m wearing my silver rings and I’ll have a flask of holy water to spike his drink if need be,” Y/N explains. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered.”

“Sounds like,” Jody chuckles and then lightly punches Y/N in the shoulder. “You gotta tell me all about it, though. Even the juicy parts, especially the juicy parts. Damn, I ain’t got laid in forever. I need to find a man.”

They both laugh and then settle back down and stargaze some more before heading inside and going to bed. 

Dean Winchester almost becomes the Lamia’s fifth victim. If it hadn’t been for his fast thinking brother, Dean would’ve succumbed to the creature’s power and  be dead. 

Although he was alive, it was only barely. The Lamia had sucked so much blood from his body that he was unconscious for days.

Sam and Y/N had maneuvered him into the backseat of the Impala and raced back to the Bunker, hoping to find something to revive the oldest Winchester.

While they waited and researched, Y/N realized that she hadn’t heard from Romeo in almost a week. Their date was coming up and he had gone radio silent.

Sure he had told her that he had to leave town and wouldn’t be able to text her but couldn't he at least take a second to check in?

As soon as she could, Y/N sent him a message.

‘Haven't heard from you in a few days. Are you okay?’

And then, for the rest of the day, she kept an eye on her phone for a response.

The device stayed silent.

When Dean finally came around two days later, it was much to the relief of both Y/N and Sam. 

They sat at his bedside and regaled him with the story of how the Lamia was not who they thought it was but that Sam caught on pretty quickly and used the current from an old stove hookup to burn the creature before she could take Dean’s life.

Dean, as stubborn as he was, refused to stay in bed. He was adamant that he needed to get up and that he wasn’t wasting away in his room while there were other monsters still roaming the world. 

Sam and Y/N eventually gave up and left him to his own devices, going to their respective rooms to rest themselves. It was tiring trying to save a life then having that same someone argue that they hadn’t needed it.

Y/N was awakened by her phone buzzing with an incoming text. She opens the message thread and sees that Romeo has responded.

‘Sorry darlin’. I’ve been extremely busy. But I’m back in town and chomping at the bit for our date. Wanna move it up a few day?’

Y/N felt her face flush. She had been excited and eager and wishing that time would move faster as well.

‘A few days would mean tomorrow. You want to meet tomorrow?’

‘Yes. Tomorrow.’

Y/N woke up the next morning, nervous but excited. She was going to meet the man she had been messaging and getting to know through texts for the last three months. 

She joined the guys in the kitchen for breakfast and then headed back to her room to determine what she was going to wear.

What do you wear when meeting someone new? She knew him, she thought, but she had yet to see him face to face or even hear his voice.

What if he was not at all what she’d been picturing all this time? What if they meet and one (or both) of them weren’t completely different from what the other thought?

She chose her nicest pair of jeans; nicest meaning they weren't covered in monster blood and guts and other bodily fluids of the creatures she has murdered. 

Next, she chose a nice flowy camisole that wasn’t so low cut it showed much cleavage but low enough to show off her chest. Over that she wore a fitted leather jacket with the fancy schmancy silver buttons.

She slid the silver and turquoise necklace on with the matching silver ring, that way if Romeo went in for a hug instead of a handshake, she could still test if he is a werewolf or skinwalker and she had a vial of holy water in her purse to confirm he wasn’t a demon.

As she was finishing her makeup she heard Dean walking past her room, a whistle on his lips.

“Why is he in such a good mood?” she wondered out loud then went to look at her reflection once more.

By the time she got to the garage, the Impala was gone. Y/N was glad because she did not want to explain to Dean why she was borrowing one of the many cars there.

She chose an older model black Ford Mustang because it was one of the few inconspicuous cars they owned.  Heads wouldn't turn at the sight of it rolling down the street, unlike the Bel-Aires and the Fairlanes would.

She didn't want to bring attention to herself for a set of wheels that should be in a museum somewhere.

As she drove toward town she hummed a tune that had been stuck in her head for days. She'd finally realized it was ‘Hooked on A Feeling’. 

Y/N had no idea where she'd heard the song or even who sang it but it seemed appropriate for the situation. She was hooked on a feeling that she'd found her soulmate through a mistaken wrong number.

Once she got parked and walked toward the door of the restaurant she was to meet her Romeo, something caught her eye.

Down past the building was a sleek black car that she'd know anywhere. A 1967 Chevy Impala that if you looked closely had been rebuilt at least twice but was in pristine condition.

She turned her head to look through the window of the restaurant and her heart dropped. Dean was inside!

What was he doing here? Did Sam tell him about her rendezvous with Romeo and he was here to stop it? But then she realized that she hadn't told Sam about the meet-up.

Turning on her heel, she walked with purpose back to her car and slipped inside.

‘Something has come up and I can't make it. Sorry.’

Y/N raced back to the Bunker, parked the car and ran to her room.  She flopped on the bed and let the tears flow.

How dare he be there? Finally, when life was going her way, she was going to meet the man of her dreams, Dean fucking Winchester had to go and ruin it!

Her phone buzzed a couple of times in her pocket but she didn't check it until she was all cried out.

‘Hope everything is okay. Is there anything I can do?’

‘Are you ghosting me?! Really?’ 

She didn’t answer. Y/N wasn’t sure how to answer. She was no better than the woman who gave Romeo the wrong number to begin with. 

What was she supposed to do? Tell him that her “brothers” were actually just two men she lived with in an underground shelter that was warded to keep out supernatural beings that were out for their head? That her job consisted of continually being on some demonic radar?

Yea, he’d think she was nuts!

So instead, Y/N turned her phone off and laid in bed, wallowing in her own self-pity. She would never find a man to understand her lifestyle and she wasn’t going to give it up.

Fighting monsters and demons was her life! She was dedicated to making sure no one ever had to witness or live with the fact that their loved ones were murdered by things that shouldn’t even exist!

A few moments later, she heard the bunker door slam shut and could make out the boys’ voices but couldn't understand what they were saying. It got heated quickly though as she heard Dean yell, “You don’t fucking understand!”

Y/N got off her bed, wiped the tears from her face and left the bedroom, heading toward Sam and Dean.

“I just don’t understand it, man,” Dean says as she reaches the doorway to the library. Y/N stays just out of their sight; she can see them but the boys have yet to notice her presence.

“We get along so well. She’s funny but smart. She puts me in my place.”

“Maybe you should just man up and tell her your real name,” Sam suggests.

“No, no way. That opens up this whole world-” Dean says as he waves a hand around, motioning to the room and all the books on the supernatural they have. “She’s not like us. She wouldn’t understand. I just don’t know what happened?”

“I’m telling you Dean,” Sam says sternly but compassionately. “You may just be surprised.”

“No. I’m not telling Regina about this life.”

Y/N gasps and puts her hand over her mouth as it all comes clear. Romeo is Dean. Dean is Romeo. Holy shit! Wait, what? Like, what the actual fuck?! Dean is who she’s been chatting with via text for months now?

She thinks back to the first message and tries to remember if it came in as Dean since she has his contact information saved. But no, it was a number that came up, not a contact. She quietly runs back to her room and grabs her phone.

As soon as it turns on, she goes into her contacts and scrolls down to Romeo’s. She opens it and sees it is indeed a different number than she has saved for Dean….and his other phone….and his other, other phone.

So what is going on? 

She walks back toward the library and this time she makes herself known. 

“Oh hey Y/N.” Sam says with a smirk on his face.

“Hey Sweetheart,” Dean says, his tone melancholy before taking a drink of his beer.

“So, which came first? The chicken or the egg?”

Dean swallows the drink in his mouth and then slowly turns his head toward her. “What did you say?”

“Which came first? The chicken or the egg?”

“Um, how do you know that?”

Y/N walks closer to Dean and holds out her hand. “Hello Romeo. I’m Regina.”

Dean froze. The only thing that moved was his eyes, from her outstretched hand to Y/N’s face.

Time stood still as Y/N waited for Dean to catch up to what she had said. Suddenly his eyes widened and his lips opened and closed like a fish trying to breathe.

“What?!” he finally found his voice and spoke.

“I’m Regina and I’m assuming you’re Romeo from what I’ve heard.”

“You are the amazingly hot chick I’ve been texting all this time?”

Y/N nods her head and Sam laughs from his spot across the table from his brother. “It’s about time! I was getting tired of watching you guys pine for one another, and not realizing it.”

“Shut up Sam,” Y/N and Dean both state.

Dean pushes his chair back and stands up, pulling a dinosaur of a phone from his pocket. It’s a frigging flip phone for Chuck’s sake!

“What the hell is that?” Y/N asks as she laughs and watches Dean flip the phone open and punch in numbers on the number pad. “How old is that phone?”

“It was Dad’s,” Sam explains as they both watch Dean work on getting into the phone and open up the text thread.  “I didn’t even know it was still usable but apparently my brother uses it to hook up.”

Y/N turns her attention back to Dean and watches as he looks at the screen, apparently re-reading all the messages.

“Well, fuck!” Dean says with a chuckle. He then turns to her and smiles. “Romeo at your service. And he is a dumbass. I didn’t recognize your number, but I do now.”

Sam stands and closes his laptop. “I’m going to go to my room and give you two some privacy.”

Neither Dean nor Y/N pays attention as the taller Winchester leaves the room, their eyes glued to one another’s, studying one another. No words were spoken for a few minutes.

“You’re Regina?”

“And you’re Romeo,” Y/N states with a nod. “I just have one question though. How the hell do you know who Regina George is? That's a chick flick if there ever was one!”

Dean shrugs and blushes. “Rachel McAdams is hot. What can I say?”

They both laugh but then Dean surges forward and wraps her up in his arms.

“But not as hot as my Regina. She can't hold a candle to you, baby.”

Y/N feels her heart squeeze around such a heartfelt compliment and smiles. “How idiotic are we?”

“Well sweetheart, this idiot has fallen for you.”

Y/N’s phone slips out of her hand and her arms wrap around Dean’s neck. “It’s a good thing I’ve fallen for you too then.”

They stand there, wrapped up in each other just taking it all in.

“Can I kiss you now?” Dean asked and Y/N nodded.

He slowly leans in, their eyes glued to one another's until at the very last second he glances down to her lips.

As soon as their lips touched, it was like everything became clear. The world had been dark and gray and now it was bursting with vivid color.

Dean licked against the seam of her lips, begging for entry and Y/N immediately granted him access.

When the need for air became necessary, they pulled apart but not before Dean placed his forehead on hers and smiled.

“Who knew love was right under my nose?”

“Well, here it is,” Y/N says as she tightens her hold on the older Winchester. “Who knew we belonged together? Now take me to bed!”

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @leigh70

[marveltrumpshate]

March 2024 MTH fills

The best way to see all the fills that have been shared with us is our monthly roundups tag or our #MTH-fills channel on our Discord, but you can also view them through the following methods:

Our Tumblr tags: 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023

Our AO3 collection (only has works posted to AO3; see "subcollections" for specific auction years)

Completed works tag list

To find specific content, use our completed works tag lists above which includes instructions on how to search for a particular character, gen or romantic relationship, universe, and fanwork type. 

SOLO CHARACTERS

Hobie Brown

@jacketpotatoo - Art of Hobie stitching together his Spider-Man outfit for @nostalgicatsea

Marc Spector

@newnewyorker93 - Felt beanbag Moon Knight sachet for @ruquas

GEN/PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS

Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov

MedeaV/@medeafive - "Winter at the beach" (Bucky & Nat fic where Bucky has a hard time adjusting to modern swimwear) for @puzzlebean

Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

@bulkyphrase - Wooden Captain America: The Winter Soldier alphabet block set for Maiasaura

Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark & Sam Wilson

swtalmnd/@amysnotdeadyet - "Feed" (Bucky & Sam & Steve & Tony gen AU fic (background Bucky/Tony) where Steve and Sam go grocery shopping and bring back what they bought to the tower) for @saganarojanaolt and newtypeshadow (MTH 2022)

Steve Rogers & Thor

happyaspie/@yes-i-am-happyaspie - Art of MCU Steve showing Thor his drawing while they have an ice cream break on the side of a road during their road trip for @marvakakittenwrites

SHIPS

Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo

Alistair Nightly - Podfic of "Five Alarm Neighbors," a Bucky/Zemo non-powered AU fic where Zemo wants to get the attention of firefighter neighbor Bucky by @six-demon-bag for Lady Gigi

Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Flowering Glass/@floweringglass - A set of Bucky/Steve/Tony-themed stained glass trinket boxes that can come together into one design for @tehroserose

Juulna/@juuls - Podfic of "One Date Wonder," a Bucky/Steve/Tony non-powered AU fic about Steve and Bucky helping out Tony, who's luckless at dating for @aquatigermice

Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

@amysnotdeadyet/swtalmnd - "Catalytic" (AU fic where Bucky and Tony make lasagna) for newtypeshadow and @saganarojanaolt (MTH 2022) - "Fuel" (AU fic where Bucky and Tony talk about cooking) for newtypeshadow and saganarojanaolt (MTH 2022)

snarkyship/@snarkyship-main - "A Marriage of Convenience" (Bucky/Tony arranged marriage and mistaken identity medieval/fantasy AU comic) (also on Tumblr) for @massivespacewren (MTH 2022)

Bucky Barnes/Loki

Lalaith Quetzalli/@lalaithquetzallicaresi - Cover/poster for "I Have a Heart," an MCU Bucky/Loki A/B/O AU fic by and for @marvakakittenwrites - Cover/poster for "Grief Stricken Souls," a Bucky/Loki A/B/O AU fic where the two meet at a bereavement support group by and for marvakakittenwrites

Clint Barton/Phil Coulson

ArielT and NickiB - "On the Grid" (MCU Clint/Coulson fic where Phil teaches Clint how to live on the grid) for @winter-angst

Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow

@ruquas - "The burdens I took to change the ones you have" (Brock Rumlow/Jack Rollins non-powered soulmate hurt/comfort AU fic) for @kalika999 (MTH 2022)

Loki/Tony Stark

Lalaith Quetzalli/@lalaithquetzallicaresi - Header/banner for "Best Laid Plans," a Loki/Tony A/B/O AU fic by and for marvakakittenwrites

Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson

Marvel_Kitten - "Too Late, Buddy!" (post-Daredevil S01E06 MCU Matt/Foggy fic where Foggy finds out about Matt's secret double life) for @kimmycup

@not-madder-red - "Cats And Bags" (dark Matt/Foggy AU fic where Foggy tries to prevent Matt, whom he thinks is an asshole, from dating Karen by catfishing Matt) for @missmoochy

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Juulna/@juuls - Podfic of "Here to Stay," a post-Endgame Steve/Tony fic where Steve stays at Tony's cabin by @avengersnewb for @ishipallthings

[darkmaga-returns]

And the Video Game Logic of Those in Power

Old Glory Club and Love Thy Neighborhood

Oct 23, 2024

By guest author Sam Lively.

They say we’re living in a simulation, and recent events have convinced me that it must be a variation of Sid Meier’s Civilization. If we zoom in to the ground level and play it on pleb mode, an area like Springfield, Ohio, is a homeland: its buildings and landscapes reservoirs of cultural and ancestral memories stretching back centuries; its inhabitants the custodians and cultivators of that inheritance. But if we zoom out to the player view, these quaint notions disappear, and we see a grid map exposing Springfield as a generic hexagon in a vast imperial matrix. Toggle on the statistical overlay, and we see further that it’s a badly underperforming zone, dwindling in population, absorbing a bunch of imperial funds, and generating little in the way of money, production, culture, or political power for the Player. Meanwhile, only a few hexes away on the grid map, the collapsing city-state of Haiti pumps out surpluses of cheap labor just waiting for someone to claim them.

From this perspective, it makes all the sense in the game for the Player to drag and drop the Haitian surplus right into the Springfield problem zone. Should the Player then zoom back in to pleb mode, he might find scenes of Old Testament mayhem: fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, 40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats cooking together, mass hysteria. But the economic advisor pops up to assure him that such disturbing visuals are ephemeral; economic growth is forever. And so what if the old cultural landscape is transformed underfoot? Is anyone crying for the Indian villages and buffalo herds and prairie grasses that were steamrolled to make way for modern Springfield? Our forebears annihilated pre-Columbian civilizations along with time and space; it’s only natural for us to obliterate our own culture if it stands in the way of progress.

[dbstaches]

MATERIAL WORLD: THE GRID Grid your loins, it's Dave Ball (left) and Richard Norris Picture: Roger Sargent

NME magazine, 30 October 1993 — full article text bellow

WHERE ARE YOU NOW AND HOW DO YOU FEEL? RICHARD: In the Village Inn as usual, unshaven, post-remixing lag DAVE: The Village Inn, tired and emotional

FIRST RECORD YOU EVER BOUGHT? R: ‘Blockbuster’, The Sweet D: ‘Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes’, Edison Lighthouse

WHO WOULD DIRECT THE ‘TEXAS COWBOYS’ MOVIE? R: Andy Warhol, if he was alive, Lonesome Cowboys 2 D: Sam Peckinpah – lots of fake blood

WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU HAVE PLAYED IN THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY? R: Clint – for the stubble and cheroots D: Lee Van Cleef. He wears black clothes, smokes cigars – my kind of guy

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW MARC ALMOND AND WHAT WAS HE DOING? D: On TV, doing a costume-change at Royal Albert Hall

DESCRIBE EACH OTHER IN THREE WORDS? R: Jolly Uncle Jack D: Griff Rhys Jones

WAS VIC REEVES AS SURREAL IN REAL LIFE? R: Haddock

FONDEST MEMORY OF YOUR NME DAYS? R: Jack Barron ranting, Fred Dellar (gawd bless ’im) and two weeks in Ibiza on expenses

MOST EMBARRASSING RECORD IN YOUR COLLECTION? R: A double LP of Barbara Woodhouse teaching dogs to sit. Walkies! D: ‘In The Night’ by Tony Blackburn

HOW DO YOU SEE THE FUTURE OF SPAGHETTI DISCO? R: Take That doing ‘Rawhide’

BEST THING ABOUT PERFORMING LIVE? R: Watching the wide-eyed and legless

WHAT INSPIRES YOU? R: Punk rock, disco D: Everything

WORST FLYING EXPERIENCE? R: Being in economy class D: Flying from LA to London on acid; flying from London to the South of France with Depeche Mode, dropping 1,000 feet when we hit an air pocket

WHO WOULD BE YOUR DREAM COLLABORATION? R: Iggy Pop D: A film score with John Barry/Angelo Badalamenti

IF YOU HAD A LABEL WHICH TWO ROCK ACTS WOULD YOU SIGN? R: AC/DC, Nine Inch Nails D: Zodiac Mindwarp, The Ramones

WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN THEY DESCRIBED YOUR MUSIC AS “JUNGLE” ON CORONATION STREET? R: Smashing, chuck D: I liked it so much I sampled it

FIRST BANDS? R: The Innocent Vicars, The Fruitbats, The Wild Kitchen, East Of Eden D: Soft Cell

HOW MANY TELEVISIONS DO YOU OWN R: About 20. I got a fine for not having a license

DESCRIBE YOUR TOTP EXPERIENCE? D: Tedium-tastic

THREE GREAT THINGS ABOUT THAILAND AT CHRISTMAS? R: The sky at night, bats, blue-capped evenings with neon fish

HOW WOULD YOU SPEND AN IDEAL SUNDAY AFTERNOON? R: Horizontally, after a bad game of golf D: Lunch with friends and good wine

WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST SITUATION YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN? R: Being surrounded by Hackney constabulary with Genesis and Paula P Orridge at 5am after imitating a Sunday People reporter D: Running naked down a Madrid hotel corridor with Stevo, wielding two replica Flintlock pistols, chasing two Spanish girls

FAVOURITE PEOPLE? D: Richard & Judy, Paul Merton, Dennis The Barman

CAN YOU RETIRE ON THE MONEY ‘TAINTED LOVE’ MADE IN AMERICA? D: No, but I'm, sure our American lawyers and A&R men could!

WHAT DID MADONNA DO WHEN YOU UPSTAGED HER IN NEW YORK? D: She forgave me the next morning

CHOOSE A RECORD TO WAKE UP TO/SLEEP TO/HAVE SEX TO R: Wake up: ‘Cobalt Blue’, Michael Brook. Sleep: ‘Music For Airports’, Brian Eno. Sex: ‘There's A Riot Goin' On’, Sly And The Family Stone D: Wake up: ‘Rise And Shine’, The Flintstones. Sleep: ‘Very/Relentless’, Pet Shop Boys. Sex: ‘Neroli’, Brian Eno

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? R: Write a mean paragraph. I could be an A&R man if I was really desperate D: Top oarsman and not a bad cook

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? R: Like Aldous Huxley

[bktrashcat]

Hi! Thank you @yerbamansa for this fun activity! I got too in my head trying to figure out favorite artists (how much of their discography do I need to know for them to be favorite??), so I did albums instead. These are a few that are on repeat. Choosing one album from Prince is *work.* I'm not nominating anyone, but if you see this from me and want to do it, tag me so I can see!

[Image descriptions: Three "what music do you have in common with (blank)" Bingo cards by @/holysickdivine with a 4-by-4 grid and a note at the bottom reading "(leave a blank!)".

Top Left: What music do you have in common with yerbamansa

Squares include: Neko Case, Janelle Monae (marked), R.E.M., Ted Leo, Nirvana, Built to Spill, Joy Oladokun, Angel Olsen, The Mountain Goats, Wilco, Talking Heads (marked), Yo La Tengo, Aimee Mann, Bjork, Lucinda Williams, New Pornographers

Top Right: What music do you have in common with BK TrashCat

Squares include: Ella Fitzgerald, Renaissance/Beyonce, One Night Stand/Sam Cooke, Scary Monsters/David Bowie, Walk Through Fire/Yola, Company/Stephen Sondheim, Nine Types of Light/TV on the Radio, Channel Orange/Frank Ocean, The Low End Theory/A Tribe Called Quest, Prince/Prince, Either/Or/Elliott Smith, When I Get Home/Solange, Strange Mercy/St. Vincent, Doolittle/Pixies, Dirty Computer/Janelle Monae, Carrie and Lowell/Sufjan Stevens

Below: blank BINGO card. End ID.]

[jonathankatwhatever]

17 June 2024. I think set description is the most confusing wording. To me, for example, the description of generators and a generating set is almost circular. I think that reflects the lack of an underlying model which explains why that happens, meaning how the generator is generated and thus how it generates, where the last means operates like making electricity. That last step invokes pairing over 1-0Segments to generate the informational effects, if that’s the right idea. Informational effects would be the equivalent in the intangible as the relativistic effects are in the tangible. I think they’re easier to see, but of course I would, because the relativistic effects are 1Space informational effects translated into 0Space, and one of the general ideas behind doing this work this way is to provide an explanatory mechanism which makes understanding these complicated ideas dramatically easier and thus better. I mean when I read the definition of generating sets and go wtf was that; it was all regular words but arranged so they looped over each other.

————-

Listening to Sam Cooke and the proto reggae of don’t know much about history. I can hear Bob Marley and the Wailers. What a wonderful world, when you see the relations and you like them. That’s more than associative. That’s more commutative, isn’t it? I mean you go back and forth with what you like, right? And of course you may ‘like’ the wrong things, so that’s more a commutative algebra out of the associative, and that certainly makes sense. I hope the visual is obvious: the associative permutations reduce to the commutative, and that’s accompanied by, is carried out through gsProcess.

What is gsProcess? It’s not one thing, not one Thing. It is, at core, a statement that grid squares form as the resolution of dimensional structure generates Things within [D3-4]. That means assembling from lower dimensions and reducing from higher. I want to focus on the reason why I used reducing rather than dividing.

Dividing into pieces means what? All equal? Some integer combination makes a whole? Some non-integer combination that makes 1? Or does it mean the unique remainder, the Is, which remains when all that is not is excluded? And that says the meaning of division is to construct an Is which is Not, meaning it’s intangible in relation to the tangible Is. I skipped ahead there. Must have hit the turntable and hopped the needle.

The first step is to construct an iObject relative to what is not that iObject, and then translate that iObject into a Thing, which thus translates into the Not to the tObject.

I almost didn’t realize how important that statement appears to be. I was proud of being able to lay that out in one sentence, so I assumed this must be of minor consequence. I think I was wrong. This literally links the tangible to the intangible and beyond. That’s a long-cherished goal.

So, it’s division but it’s another version of 1+1, meaning 1-0-1. That is, when we make Not and Is, then each is rather obviously a 1. That, I think, may be the way to understand modular arithmetic: the remainder modulo something is the 1 which fits to that modulo, and that makes the 1 of the modulo and the 1 of the remainder over the process which counts that out, which is the 0 that is obviously then the 1 in 0-1-0.

Again, almost missed the importance of that because it came out so easily. I’m distracted by the sexism in all right now by I think Free. It’s a nice rock and blues mix but those words are ridiculous.

You know I always hated the name Mitchell but loved the name Michel or Michele. Oh Micki, you’re so fine. You play your bongos all the time.

You know what bothers me about Tequila Sunrise is that it doesn’t need a woman running around. It would be a better song if it were more general because then people could relate more directly to the idea of taking another shot of courage to face the day, not to hate but to make it through the disappointments which come.

Also, it has always bothered me that when people talk about Ringo joining the band because Pete couldn’t ’keep time’ or whatever, they don’t say the reality, which is that the band sounded a whole heck of a lot better with Ringo. I’m listening to Don’t Let Me Down. Those crashing cymbals and the light touches: the contrast of restraint and not, but that not specifically constrained to the limits of the song’s expressiveness. Such beautiful work. Among the finest I’ve ever heard. Brings tears to my eyes.

I don’t have my phone so I can’t look anything up. I was thinking about nonconforming modular forms, meaning those which don’t resolve in some clean 1Space manner. I need to think about the modular group, meaning IC in matrix form.

Haven’t gone through this material in years. I hope this works.

We painted an entire grid sheet with IC. This happened at the level of grid squares, meaning a 4Square, and then within CM1 to a 1:4.

Listening to Elton sing about being a butterfly. I wish the drumming were better. His voice and delivery are spectacular. The entire song is pitched very well. Right into the wheelhouse of his voice.

This spreading of IC relies on the inversion and+1 methods used in the modular group. We have the actual mechanics by which that happens. That is the primal work done decades ago, now developed into the 1-0Segments in forms and structures, in processes and existences, in Things within [D3-4]. I’d add the conception of CM1 and within CM1.

In fact, given the development of D-structure, you can say the inversion, which I believe is the S method in modular terms, is Boundary and thus pairings connecting Boundaries of Things, including the Thing within as though it were magnified, like everything else in all of mathematics through exponential or polynomial relationships to and from a central End.

I’m going to miss the train.

Help! What incredible drumming. When it’s chugging along like a music hall tune, stays back and lets the rhythm guitar carry it, then pounds the transition and drives the beat, then drops out again. Such sensitivity to the song’s needs.

The T method is the other and that’s +1. We developed Attachment Theory to deal with +1.

I need to understand a conforming group a bit better.

Without the work on Attachment … okay, so we should connect CM1 to it. I think saying that sort of did that. It’s clearly a +1 Attachment but it’s also related to stuff like the roots of unity because this CM1 can be whatever CM1 can be and be 1. That’s a super cool generalization, though I did stumble over the words.

When I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions. John had it correct. The problem is that the solutions are often wrong. That song makes me cry. And the weird thing is the song shows this because it’s a series of questions asked by people with the wrong answers.

Not sure what else I can get done right now. It’s startling, it’s been startling over and over and over, to realize that all those mathematical ideas, dating back to my earliest memories, were all correct, especially the ones I thought were way the heck far out and clearly insane.

And beyond that, the narration which came along with those thoughts was completely correct too. I’m trying to find a thought, but the only images in my head are you being taller than me. On purpose. I can’t stop giggling.

I just looked through pictures of my mom when I was born. She really did look like Liz Taylor. The eyes are different and I only see Liz made up, particularly around the eyes. I think my mom’s face might be a tad squarer, mostly at the jaw. I guess this is a big reason why I had problems watching her movies.

[grillpartshub-blog]

Stainless Steel Cooking Grids Replace for Barbecue Gas Grills (Set of 3) Fits Compatible Models: Academy Sports BQ05037-2, BQ05046-6A, BQ06042-1, Masterbuilt 10041006, Sams BQ05046-6, BQ05046-6A, Kenmore 119.16658010, 119.16658011 Gas Models. SHOP NOW!!

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 15 - Japan

I swear I'm going to finish this before the 2024 season starts

The festive season just happened and we are now weeks away from the first launch of the 2024 cars (which bruh what is the passing of time).

So I'm keeping my pre-race blurb to a minimum, which is fine because apart from Seb winning and I think Grosjean briefly leading the race, I don't remember much.

the massive "We <3 Seb" banner in the grandstands 🥺

Okay: starting grid overview! Webber on pole, Seb P2. A win for the Martian girlies (gn). Lewis P3, Alonso P8, Jenson P10 and Jev P17

the Bernie hand puppets dvhfdjbvhfdbhsfjbhf

All bar Ricciardo and Pic starting on the mediums as opposed to the hards. (Though again this was in ye olden days when the Top 10 had to start on their quali tyre)

[Formation Lap]: oooh thermal tyre cam

and the mad dash of mechanics and engineers back to the garages

god I get whiplash now seeing Domenicali on the Ferrari garage now even though I know he was TP at that point. Safe to say I'm not enjoying him as F1 CEO

A wild Sam Bird sighting next to Ross Brawn (back when he was a Merc development driver)

cars lining up on the grid, here we goooooo

[Start/Lap 1]: Not Grosjean taking the lead way before turn 1

aaaaaaand backmarker nonsense at turn 1

nooooooo Lewis dropping down the grid

oh god Seb's saying he might have front wing damage, if him and Lewis made contact is2g

[Lap 2]: Right, top 5 is Grosjean, Webber, Seb, Rosberg and Massa

and Jenson is clinging onto P10, woo!

yup, Lewis had a rear right puncture, and now the rest of the carcass has come off 😭😭😭

He stops for the hards and his now plum last

[Lap 3]: rest of the race be nice to me PLEASE

I think the main reason why I don't remember much of this race is bc I would have watched it at my friends house bc she had Sky so it would have been 5 or 6am 🥲

argh, start reply and there's the tiniest bit of contact between Seb and Lewis but it was enough to give Lewis a puncture. pain.

[Lap 4]: And a Grosjean fastest lap for funsies

damn, Bono outright saying over the radio what Lap Lewis is pitting on, that never happens but I guess bc he wasn't in contention for the win at this point trying to hide strategy doesn't matter

[Lap 5]: Respectfully Brundle I don't want to hear you try and figure out what Seb's doing, let him cook.

Oh Lewis has floor damage too fml.

[Lap 7]: For once, Seb has listened to Rocky and has dropped to 2 seconds behind Mark

Also Jenson out of the points as Raikkonen takes P10 😭

Apart from Seb this race is currently an attack on me personally

[Lap 8]: and there's Massa being told to let Alonso by

Lewis in the pits to retire the car 😭😭😭

[Lap 9]: Jenson pits for hards, it's stupidly early so he's probably going to be on a three stop

[Lap 10]: a few other cars are pitting as well so it's probably going to be a three stop race

"Engine 21, engine 2-1" I'm having Malaysia flashbacks (that was Mark's engineer Simon Rennie)

[Lap 12]: And in pits Webber! Most likely for hards

"Button's really flying along nicely!" INJECT IT!!

and slowly the race starts to turn round for me

JENSON FASTEST LAP! STOP THE COUNT!!

I've never said anything bad about F1 ever I swear

[Lap 13]: and Grosjean pits form the lead, also for hard tyres. He also comes out ahead of Webber

so WOO Seb in the lead!

oops, Rosberg had an unsafe release. Mercedes' not good quite bad 2013 Japanese GP

[Lap 14]: "When is Vettel going to come in?" Ted sounding very concerned for Seb's strategy.

[Lap 15]: Ah, and in he pits! He also has hards on and has come out in P3

"He's having quite a scruffy afternoon." The fact that Seb being in P3 and going wide once and having one lock up shown on camera counts as scruffy is frankly hilarious. That's how good he was in 2013

(that's my goat!!!!)

Also drive through pen for Rosberg. Merc's very bad rather terrible 2013 Japanese GP.

(when was the last time we saw a drive through pen be used in current F1 btw???? It feels like forever)

[Lap 16]: Seb being 4 tenths faster than Grosjean and Mark in one sector alone, this is the good place

[Lap 17]: A Seb fastest lap 🥰

[Lap 18]: What is a polar bear (Ricciardo in a Toro Rosso) doing in Arlington, Texas? (P4)

ohhhhh he hasn't stopped yet nvm

[Lap 19]: There is a queue of at least three cars behind him however

[Lap 20]: Alonso gets past Massa, but the Ricciardo train has now gained another few cars

It goes all the way down to 10th djbhdfjbhfxb

WHAT THE FUCK Hulkenberg went down the inside of 130R and made it stick.

[Lap 21]: And Alonso gets past him on the main straight.

[Lap 23]: "Multi 3, Multi 3" What does it mean what does it all mean????

I legit hear multi-anything and my eye twitches

[Lap 24]: And a Webber fastest lap! he's either prepping for his second stop or also got triggered by the word multi and bolted

also also, Seb has to make it lap 33 to make the 2 stop strategy work

FUCK Jenson had a slow stop

When does Seb take the race lead and keep it I need it now

[Lap 25]: Like the way Grosjean is still leading and it being pretty much legit, wild

A JEV FASTEST LAP?????

Well thank you racing gods

[Lap 26]: And Mark makes his second stop bang in the middle of the pit window

[Lap 27]: Seb being told he's racing Grosjean and not Mark, inch resting

and it sounds like Lotus are trying to stretch his strategy out to the 2 stop

[Lap 28]: the gap between Seb and Romain is now 1.5 seconds 👀

"Put pressure on Grosjean" Bastard Seb about to be unleashed

[Lap 30]: and in comes Grosjean for I assume is his final stop. He takes on another set of hards and comes out in P3

[Lap 31]: Seb needs to eek out a tiny bit of lap time to have a pit stop gap over Romain, which will be slightly difficult since Grosjean is on the new set of tyres

oh god not Perez having a slow stop too. McLaren be suffering

[Lap 32]: and Ricciardo nets us our third drive through penalty of the race for leaving the track and gaining an advantage.

I've seen more drive through pens in this race than I have in the past 5 years

[Lap 33]: and now everyone bar Rosberg, Vergne and Pic is on the hard tyres

[Lap 34]: Massa gets the fourth drive through pen of the day for speeding in the pitlane

somehow my Grandma will get a drive through pen despite being 91 and not having a driving licence

[Lap 36]: Seb apparently has a new set of mediums left, interesting.gif

and his gap to Grosjean is still around 20 seconds when he needs 22 in theory, but if he's going to be on the faster and fresher tyre on the end he maybe doesn't need to have a pit stop gap to him

[Lap 37]: And Seb pits!

He takes on another set of hards and comes out in third.

"That's Grosjean in front of you, go and get him." Okay now we're going to unlock bastard Seb. Cheers Rocky.

[Lap 38]: Haven't done a top 5 overview in ages: it's Webber, Grosjean, Seb, Hulkenberg and Alonso

What is a polar bear (Hulkenberg in a Sauber) doing in Arlington, Texas? (P4)

[Lap 40]: Seb is 6 tenths behind Grosjean, with a fastest lap to boot

*jaws music plays in the background*

[Lap 41]: And Seb takes P2 on the main straight!!!!

He is 14 seconds behind Mark who still needs to stop

[Lap 42]: Meanwhile Jenson has made his final stop and is back out in 14th place 🥲

[Lap 43]: Aaaaaand in comes Mark for his final pit stop

ooh for the medium tyres! and he comes out in third place

meanwhile Jenson overtakes Sutil for... P13

so the top 5 is now: Seb, Grosjean, Webber, Hulkenberg and Alonso

ouch, Perez got a rear puncture from contact with Rosberg

[Lap 45]: Webber fastest lap

He's about 5 and a bit seconds behind Seb 👀

[Lap 46]: Alonso gets past Hulkenberg for P4!!

[Lap 47]: Grosjean barely staying in P2 going into turn 1

[Lap 48]: And still Grosjean is ahead going into the first corner

[Lap 49]: 🚨5 laps remaining klaxon!!🚨

and, you guessed it, Grosjean is still in P2. Mark just isn't getting the traction he need out of the final chicane to be able to overtake him on the main straight

[Lap 50]: aaaand now Grosjean and Webber are coming into traffic

1 on 1 battles are so fascinating to watch unfold when your faves aren't involved

[Lap 51]: The way Webber is literally on Grosjean's gearbox now

[Lap 52]: of course Webber took P2 driving into turn 1 for the drama.

It was a saucy move ngl.

[Lap 53]: FINAL LAP!!!

ahem, TV feed please show me my boy

(not that Gutierrez v Rosberg isn't important. I just want to see Seb)

There he is!!!!!

[Finish]: And Seb wins the Japanese GP!!!!!!!!!!! 🥳🍾

P2 - Webber, P3 - Grosjean, P4 - Alonso, P5 - Raikkonen, P6 - Hulkenberg, P7 - Gutierrez (in what was his first ever F1 points!!), P8 - Rosberg, P9 - Jenson and P10 - Massa

Well that was a bit of a slow burn race, but it was really fun to see the 2 stop vs the 3 stop play out and have a proper on track battle between the top 3 cars.

Next race - India 🥹

[dargeereads]

Black Hearted by Julie Ann Walker is out now! Check it out and be sure to grab your copy of the gorgeous romantic suspense today!

Title: Black Hearted

Author: Julie Ann Walker

Genre: Romantic Suspense

About Black Hearted:

He’s everything she ever wanted. She’s everything he never knew he needed. Can she convince him she’s the one?   The Black Knights are back and better than ever!   Samuel Harwood has spent his entire career working in the black and gray areas of international intrigue. Living in the shadows for so long has made him forget who he was and where he came from. Then a blast from the past, in the form of his ex-girlfriend’s kid sister, arrives on the front steps of Black Knights Inc, reminding him of everything he left behind. Except, she’s no longer a kid. And she’s in serious trouble.   Hannah Blue has been in love with Sam Harwood since she was in braces. When someone sabotages her entire life, he’s the first person she turns to. She has critical information about a potential cyber-attack on the U.S. power grid that could end in catastrophic financial damage and loss of life. But the FBI thinks she’s a traitor. And now she’s on the run to save herself and the fate of the entire nation.   Who does Samuel trust? The smart, sexy woman he’s known since he was a teenager? Or the government authorities who give him his orders and cut his paychecks? He’ll make one desperate play to find out. A play that could cost him everything…including his heart.   "A first-rate thrill ride."—Publishers Weekly, STARRED Review for Thrill Ride   "This razor-sharp, sensual, and intriguing tale will get hearts pounding"—Publishers Weekly, STARRED Review for Wild Ride   "Deft characterization, skillful pacing, touches of humor, and red-hot love scenes rev up this highly recommended roller-coaster." —Publishers Weekly, STARRED Review for In Rides Trouble

Order Your Copy!

Amazon | AppleBooks | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

Catching Up with the Series:

Back In Black:

Amazon | AppleBooks | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | BAM!

Man in Black:

Amazon | AppleBooks | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

About the Author:

  Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Julie grew up in a house full of women – she has three older sisters. As you can imagine, there was no lack of drama… or romance. Her mother enrolled her in a book club as soon as she began to read and it was the small spark that ignited her voracious appetite for the written word. Because of Julie’s early immersion in literature, she found writing came quite naturally. In high school, she won multiple writing contests and was the proud senior editor of The Tiger’s Tale – her school newspaper. During her college years, however, she longed for a challenge. “Reading and writing felt like second nature to me, so I looked for a way to flex my mental muscles,” she recalls. After receiving a Bachelor of Science degree, Julie began teaching advanced high school mathematics. “I loved working with the students and facing the challenges of the classroom, but I longed for the occasional snow day when I could race to the local book store, buy two or three new novels, and curl up in front of the fire to read.” It wasn’t until a fortuitous move to Chicago that Julie once more returned to her first passion. Now Julie loves to travel the world looking for views to compete with her deadlines. When she’s not writing, she enjoys camping, hiking, cycling, cooking, petting every dog that walks by her, and… reading, of course!  

Connect with the Author:

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Bookbub | Instagram | Newsletter

[leeenuu]

Cars pass in Independence Square at twilight in Kyiv, Ukraine, Monday, October 31, 2022. Rolling blackouts are increasing across Ukraine as the government rushes to stabilise the energy grid and repair the system ahead of winter. (AP Photo/Andrew Kravchenko)

People return to their shelters as they cross a destroyed bridge after collecting aid, as Russia's invasion of Ukraine continues, in the eastern Donbas region of Bakhmut, Ukraine, Monday, October 31, 2022. (REUTERS/Clodagh Kilcoyne)

Ukrainian soldiers inspect a damaged Russian tank on a road near the recently retaken village of Kamianka, Kharkiv region, Ukraine, Sunday, October 30, 2022.(AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)

A school destroyed by Russian shelling is seen in Pokrovsk, Donetsk region, Ukraine, Friday, November 4, 2022. (AP Photo/Andriy Andriyenko)

People fill containers with water from public water pumps in Kyiv, Ukraine, Monday, October 31, 2022. A massive barrage of Russian cruise missile and drone strikes hit critical infrastructure in Kyiv, Kharkiv and other Ukrainian cities on Monday morning, knocking out water and power supplies in apparent retaliation for what Moscow alleged was a Ukrainian attack on its Black Sea Fleet. (AP Photo/Sam Mednick)

Ukrainian soldiers on captured Russian tanks T-72 hold military training close to the Ukraine-Belarus border near Chernihiv, Ukraine, Friday, October 28, 2022. (AP Photo/Aleksandr Shulman)

Local resident Nina, 72, stands near her house, ruined by the Russian shelling a month ago in central Slavyansk, Donetsk region, Ukraine, Saturday, October 29, 2022. She keeps living in this house and collects wooden debris to make an outdoor fire for cooking. (AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)

A Ukrainian National Guard soldier cleans away a Z letter, a sign of the Russian army, from a captured Russian armoured personnel carrier (APC) outskirts Kharkiv, Ukraine, Thursday, November 3, 2022. (AP Photo/Andrii Marienko)

A view of the Holy Mountains Lavra of the Holy Dormition, damaged after fighting, in the liberated town of Sviatohirsk, Donetsk region, Ukraine, Saturday, October 29, 2022. (AP Photo/Andriy Andriyenko)

A woman reacts next to the body of her neighbor found under debris of a residential house destroyed by a Russian missile attack in Mykolaiv, Ukraine, Tuesday, November 1, 2022. (REUTERS/Valentyn Ogirenko)

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[maleyanderecafe]

Ik this is mostly for comic and anime, game, etc but do you have any novel recommendations? I’m reading “the collector” by John Fowles, have yet to know if it’s gonna be great, but that’s a purity yandere story so far

I did have some recommendations here, but to be honest I don't actually read a whole lot... I can find some webnovels/novels for you, but I haven't read them so I'm not a hundred percent sure on them. I don't think I've read The Collector before but the premise does sound very good for a Halloween book.

A Love That Lurks at the Dining Table - about a girl who loves cooking and an idol that wants her to make lunches for him.

The Impossible Julian Strande duology by Kathryn Ann Kingsley - A girl named Alice works at a mansion with a ghost that has taken interest in her.

Mansions by Whitney Bianca - about a girl who is in a mansion that's basically off the grid, gets kidnapped by the rich male lead.

Untouchable by Sam Mariano - Carter Mahoney takes interest in the female lead and bullies her.

Haunting Adeline by H D Carlton - A manipulator and his lover? The summary isn't really clear.

The Forbidden Games by L.J. Smith - about a game where the main characters are sucked into and have to play so they don't die.

...Like I said, I don't really read as much as I probably should. If you want more recommendations, this thread on the r/MaleYandere subreddit has more recommendations. A lot of isekai webcomics also have their starts in novels too so if you think that the webcomic is going too slow, you could probably look for those too.