#Considering their personalities it'd be so damn funny

[leviraaaaaa]

“Your hands are fucking cold.”

You freeze when one of his eyes peer open, your hands pausing on his face where you were tracing his cheek.

You'd been awake for a few minutes now, watching him sleep. As the light sleeper he was, you knew you shouldn't be touching him when he's asleep. But he was lying just beside you, all curled and comfortable, his dark hair disheveled and his face so soft, you couldn't resist.

“Did I wake you?” You whispered.

“No.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes again. “Been up for a while. Just resting my eyes.”

You smile a little, scooching closer to him under the blanket. You could feel his body heat through the thin shirt he wore. “Never thought I'd see you lazing around.”

“It's weekend.”

“Since when do you care about weekends?”

“Fucks sake.” He groaned in response, scowling. His eyes opened as he shot a heatless glare at you. “It's one day I take a break and I'm facing a fucking interrogation. I'm getting up.”

With that said, before you could process what was happening, there was an empty space beside your arms and a blatant lack of warmth. You blinked confusedly.

"Hey—what? No!” You protested, but you were slightly late. He was already out of bed. You pushed yourself up to a half-sitting position, trying to keep your eyes open.

“What no?” He asked, glancing at you sideways as he stretched out his arms.

“Get back under here! I'm sorry!”

“Weren't you the one pestering me that I was laying around?” His raised his brow.

“Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want you to leave!” You whined.

He sighed, turning to the bedside table. He picked up the watch that lied on it. “It's way too late anyways. I need to get my shit done.”

“What shit?” You grumbled, half rising and crawling to the edge of the bed. You tilted your head to get a glimpse of the watch in his hand. “It's seven.”

He raised a brow at you questioningly and you are appalled.

“Levi, it's seven. On a weekend. Seven.”

“What's your point?”

You gaped at him for a few seconds, mouth parted. What kind of a psychopath were you dating?

“Sleep in?” You suggested, like it was obvious. “Please?”

Levi scoffed like you said something funny and you weren't sure how you should be feeling.

“You never get any rest!” Annoyance creeped into your tone as you glared at him. Why did this man hate life so much?

He doesn't respond, blatantly ignoring you as he slipped his feet through his slippers.

“Levi. Just sleep a little more. Come on.”

“I've slept enough.” He mumbled. “It's seven in the fucking morning.”

The absolute disgusted face you made at that statement was unreal. The absolute mortification you felt at that statement was unreal. You knew your boyfriend had serious issues, with insomnia and shit, and that he woke up early. He always left bed before you even woke up but you never thought it was serious to the point he got up at seven on a weekend. What time did he get up on normal days then?

You brainstormed fast. You really, really wanted him to come back here.

“Look!” You pushed your arms out the blanket, wiggling them around to get Levi's attention. It did. Levi was frowning, confused. “Look!”

“What?”

“Cold hand. Colder feet. I am freezing.” You said seriously “As my boyfriend, it'd be very rude of you to leave me to freeze to death.”

“You're under a damn blanket, stop being dramatic.” He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, and? You're warmer.”

“The fuck?’’ Levi looked at you. “Am I your personal human shaped heater or some shit?”

You considered. “...kinda?”

“You little shit.”

“No, okay, listen.” You sat up fully straight now, all sleepiness gone. You were on a mission and you were not going to rest until you succeeded. “I don't know who told you what but it's not a crime to sleep on weekends.”

Levi did not look convinced. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at you. “Sure you'd know all about sleeping in. Takes the whole squad to wake you even on regular days.”

You shrugged. If he was trying to shame you, he was failing. You were a proud bed-rotter and not even Levi could overcome your love for naps (he came very close). “Yes,” You agreed, then pulled up the blanket and patted the empty spot beside you where he was resting before. “Now get in and let me teach you the blessings that weekends are.”

He stared at you. You stared back.

“Ackerman, do not make me come out there and drag you in, okay? I am cold, I will be colder. And then I will be pissed for the rest of the day.”

He watched you for a couple seconds, all grumpy and gloomy and serious, your messy hair on your head like a dark cloud hanging over. With your sleepy eyes and pouty lips, it was tempting. Highly. Even for him.

He considered. Paperwork. Erwin. Whatnot. He glanced back at you.

Dignity. He prayed silently. Walls, spare him dignity. Fuck it, he should really get going.

Should he?

Screw dignity. He caved.

“Fine.”

Your eyes instantly lit up, almost jumping in happiness when he sat back down. Enthusiastically, you pushed the blanket on him, wrapping your arms around him the moment he lied down, trapping him to ensure he can't change his mind. Your legs find his legs and you pushed them between them, scooting closer until you're practically flattened against him, snuggled against his chest, absorbing the warmth he offered, your eyes closing almost immediately. An arm wraps snugly around your waist and you swear you're half asleep right then and there.

“I didn't come back for you.” You hear him say. A man's gotta defend his pride after all. But you noticed the flush on his cheeks.

“Sure not.” You reply as you yawn.

“Serious. Don't think this'd always work. I just didn't have the mood to deal with paperwork.”

“Uh huh.” You were not convinced. Not the slightest bit.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“I'm not.”

“You are. You're turning this into some gooey shit and it's weirding me out.”

“Okay. Whatever.” You nodded mockingly. “Says the guy who's here cuddling with me and getting blushy blushy. I'm sure this isn't gooey shit.”

“Fuckd sake.” He draped an arm over his face in fluster. “If you don't shut up, I will leave.”

“Shutting up.” You bit your tongue. Miracles were ever so rare, what idiot would you be to push your luck?

You kept silent a while, watching him as his eyelashes fluttered shakily. He was still stiff, his muscles tensed. The dark shadows had definitely lessened, you noticed, ever since you'd been pestering after him to get enough sleep all week. It's working, he had definitely been less tired. But it's not enough. This insomniac bastard can hardly get 4 hours of sleep on average and that did not sit right with you.

He was tired. You knew. You could tell

“Levi.”

He doesn't speak, only hums softly in response.

“Sleep. Don't just lie down.”

“Can't.” He shook his head slightly. “Can't sleep so late.”

“It's seven.”

There's a hint of a smile on his face. “I think it's already been settled that we have very different views on what's early and what's late.”

You rolled your eyes. “Stop criticizing my sense of time and go to sleep and let me sleep as well.”

“Can't.” He told you simply, his voice soft. “Doesn’t mean you can't. Go to sleep, I'll be here.”

Shaking your head, you push yourself up slightly. Your fingers trailed up to his neck and he freezes slightly. You traced the feeling of his undercut under your fingers, scratching down with your nails. “Let me help you then.”

His eyes open to find yours questioningly. You smiled, shifting closer and traveling your hands higher until they were running between the dark strands of his hair. You pull at them, just the way you knew he liked and it works, his shoulders almost instantly relaxes visibly and a soft sigh escapes him, his eyes fluttering shut. You shift up, higher until you can press his head to his chest and that's all it takes. It's like he melts into you.

“Shit.” He groaned softly.

“Feels good?”

He doesn't say anything, but his breathing relaxes, starting to get even.

“Go to sleep, Lev.”

He doesn't protest anymore, closing his eyes.

You play with his hair a little more, another hand softly massaging one of his shoulders. A couple seconds passed by in silence and through, you could only listen to his heavy breathing.It's okay if he didn't sleep fully. You just wanted him to relax. Absentmindedly, you traced one of the hair strands that fell on over his forehead. His bangs came almost upto his eyes now.

“Huh,” You sighed softly. “Levi. Your hair got longer—oh…. asleep?”

Oh shit, he actually fell asleep.

And no amount of titans you've ever killed could ever give you the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment you felt at that second.

You stared at his peaceful face happily for a few seconds. Then, still hands on his hair, you felt yourself dozing back to sleep. It's like watching him relaxing has made you feel relaxed as well. And no sooner, you were drowning in his arms, drifting to a far away world.

.

Levi wakes up after 3 hours.

At first, he's confused. He's sitting up in bed wondering how it'd become this late. How could it be that it was past 10 and he was still in bed?

But then he looks at you, so deep in sleep like you wouldn't even feel if the world just ended and he remembers.

Right. Of course it was you.

Did you know how easy it was for him to sleep when you were around?

He stares at you softly, all curled up under the sheets. He shifts a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. You groaned quietly at the touch, but that was about it. You did not look like you were going to wake up anytime soon.

He watches you, considering.

Dignity. He prayed. Dignity has been long gone since the day you came into his life. He really, really should be getting up now.

Should he?

Screw dignity. He caved.

Might as well go for another hour.

[gemgdynamight0]

My hc is that during one of his meetings with hatsume and Melissa (there were so many meetings to discuss funding for the suit but also because Katsuki knew ofa quirks better than anyone else since he was the one who trained with deku the most), one of them told him his gauntlets design look so inefficient and mentioned they've already designed sth for him to change that. And that's how we have the new gauntlets, I think Melissa or hatsume suggested them to him. I also think he became bestie with the girls through all these years.

[cravingpepsimax]

entirely unrelated to anything youve been posting but mabill is making me ill right now. nobody gets them like i do. especially like. dark mabill. like everyone’s seen those “oOoOo what if ford was secretly actually working with bill” aus. let mabel be evil. mabel deserves to be a fucked up monster taking over the world with an evil triangle demon boyfriend. she’s had so many flop romances if she’s gotta be a little bit evil for this one to not be a flop then she gets to be a little bit evil. as a treat.

GOATED GOATED GOATED

considering mabel (unknowingly!) already did that in canon... like. ok all i'm saying is it'd be funny if she was in mabelland, was left there for long enough for her to find out, and was like "damn!!! he could do that? i'm in" JFDSKLJFKLS

i think at first mabel would come in with good intentions -- bill's lamented mabel being so much like him and yet not being evil enough, the other way around could happen, too! mabel's got a big heart and i could totally see her looking at bill and going "i can fix him" JSDKLFJSL

i'm not super into mabill but it is fun imagining their dynamic, romantic or not. i think their dynamic would involve a LOT of projection on both sides. mabel's chaotic and hedonistic with a bit of a selfishness streak and bill's going "SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR" while bill's fun-loving and loud and also happens to spoil her so mabel's going "he's just like me fr!!". truly the ultimate "i can fix him/i can make her worse" dynamic.

tho i do think bill would eventually realize mabel's redemption plan but at this point, he likes her, and it's wayyy better for her to not try to defeat him (he does NOT want that zodiac to work EVER) so he'd totally play into it while also slowly corrupting her. telling her about his backstory the same way he did w ford. mabel's a very fantastical person so she'd totally be like "omg........................... tragic backstory reveal......... redemption arc is a GO" meanwhile their interactions are like

bill: HEY THERE SHOOTING STAR WANT ME TO MAKE THIS UNICORN NOT A TOTALLY BORING WAD mabel: i dunno... isn't making someone they're not kinda bad? bill: YEAH BUT NOBODY ELSE WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS UNICORN BEING BAD IT'S A NET POSITIVE mabel: hm.. you're right! go for it bill, zapping that unicorn and giving them an entirely different personality and making them submit to his will: SEE? THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU! YOU GET IT mabel: :D

just. constantly playing into mabel's selfishness and how she treats things like fiction to make her into a worse and worse person while she lets it happen because she still thinks of herself as Doing Good because she is Redeeming Bill and that's better than destroying him, right??? (at first it's in an abstract sense but she legitimately starts to like/love him so it becomes personal)

peak as hell. do you think she'd draw him like those tumblr sexyman designs? discuss.

[macking-cheese]

i read the synopsis of ur mindtrapped au and hhhough brother it has me feeling THINGS /pos. i LOVE the concept of bee getting mind controlled esp since he's considered prime's most loyal scout- it also makes me wonder just what happens with that final battle. do the terrans have to fight optimus and elita without bee's help? does breakdown step in to help?

and I SAW THAT NOTE about the chip being clamped around his spinal cord/movement cord. i can only imagine the sheer horror if they tried to deactivate and remove the chip, but instead of blinking back to awareness bee just drops, collapsing and going completely limp....

Yes yes yes!!! I'm torturing myself trying to focus on the plot leading up to that but I'm so excited to get to the events during and post the big battle!!

Breakdown does show up to help and it stirs a huge mess of emotions, and while I originally planned on keeping Bee as far as possible from the terrans for most of the fight, I think I want to squeeze in some terrible author mischief hehe. Maybe Breakdown fails in distracting him and lays there watching Bee stalk off to find the kids praying that things don't get too messy.

And things get messy alright *evil finger twiddling*

And while he never personally got to know the terrans, they were just kids in need of help. He knew that they held a special place in the Autobots' sparks, especially Bumblebee's, and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to them, and that spurs him to get back up and fight again no matter what.

At some point he gets absolutely bodied by Elita-1. Messy as hell. He loses his left arm in that fight. (I think it'd be interesting if the two had an interaction post-fight, where they have a nice long chat about things and both leave with a mutual respect for one another. She apologizes for tearing him up and he apologizes for being a shitty Decepticon in general, and for not being there when Bee needed it most. He vowed to step up and be the no. 1 supporter through Bee's recovery later in the story)

On the other end, the terrans are straight up NOT having a good time. Any attack can hardly get through, considering they're just kids up against the two BIG ASS WARFRAMES known as Optimus and Megatron. A huge majority of the reason they're still alive and intact is because they know their best bet is strategy. Hiding, sneaking, playing defense, using their opponents' own skills against them, things they learned from Bumblebee. At some point Twitch and Megs get their own "breaking through" moment, her getting a good attack in that partially damages the badge on his chest. (I'm experimenting with neopronouns for Cybertronians, being more frametype or status based than gender expression based. For example a seeker would use designations different than a standard ground-frame. I can share more if that is an interest to anybody. I say this because in the fic I will be writing them using different pronouns)

Anyway, Bumblebee comes back in eventually and it's obvious how his fighting is different than he would act in his right mind. It's sloppy, brutish, completely on the offense. Jawbreaker immediately nopes out of that, but is pressured into giving a few attacks by Thrash. Thrash is scheming up a way to immobilize the scout to keep him from jumping them so they can help their siblings. Nightshade and Hashtag are off trying to evade Optimus to get to the big monolith and shut it down. Twitch is having her moment with Megatron.

Swindle jumpscare RAHHH

So he and co show up and I think it'd be funny if Hardtop knocked Bee over in his alt-mode (a little throwback to when Swindle got pounced on the second Bee saw him), and they take over the fight while Soundwave orders the kids to go on get. Thrash and Swindle have a swift, bitter exchange before he and JB run off to join Nightshade and Hashtag. Soundwave immediately clocks onto Megs and Twitch is sent to join her siblings too.

I'm honestly not sure how the fight with OP would go down. I'm sure it'll be a tough one. However I think it'd be cool to get a moment where Jawbreaker takes advantage of being a dinobot and manages to lure Grimlock into landing some good hits on the Prime.

I think I need to stop otherwise this'll get so much longer and spoil more of the fic. I am so glad you like it!!!! It is currently eating me up inside to work on this, and I keep getting urges to draw for it but I don't even know what I'd draw. I have a bad habit of overthinking things and trying to pack in extra details and the hyperfixations are NOT helping. Please expect a possibly unnecessarily long description of how Bumblebee crawls through a vent. I'm so normal about him.

[baekuras]

Couple of random thoughts coming back to me from the livestream

I LOVED Alanna and her warders working so well together! it was beautiful to behold and I wish it ended better for them but oh god they were more effective than I expected!!!

I also now even more need Asmodean to get his ass in here and work with Rand just so that there is a chance Moiraine will go "I disapprove" and I get to give her a long sidelong stare at the Lanfear shenanigans that happened because m'AM (to be fair there are worse Forsaken to work with in these specific circumstances but I just think it'd be funny for me personally)

I embrace the possible chaos that Aviendha and Elayne will bring bc damn gurls that's earlier than expected but good for you!!

i am so glad Moggy didn't lick the spit of her new grey man off her fingertips because i was kind of expecting it considering her......enjoyment here

I also very much tried to stare at every background extra to see who was doing what, especially with Moiraine warning them to lay low and the boys immediately going out and boasting(mostly Mat)(fair but also....i have SEEN many a people look, and then move, and be relevant a few shots later-YOU HAVE BEEN MADE KNOWN EVERYONE)

i also need the extra bits from the trailer after the episode pls i need to skim through everything i blinked like twice and missed smth pls

[twilightkitkat]

You mentioned an alien AU and so I must ask you about humans are space orc's because I've also considered doing an AU of that for Deadclaws

I think it'd be really interesting to consider space/dimensional travel poolverine.

I feel like Logan and Wade would end up wanted intergalacticically. It'd be an interesting storyline if one of them was on the run from the space cops and the other got dragged along.

I could see that with Wade, it'd be because he was trying to protect his family and got caught up in some shit. Logan would be the mysterious criminal whose crimes we only find out later (mass murder and/or framed) and Wade was trying to do some illegal shit anyway so dragged him along.

Actually, a funny idea would be that they both meet in jail on some planet. Logan had been thrown in there and was the "tough prisoner" who'd beaten up the others (aliens included). Wade got thrown in there recently and saw him and decided to take his own advice and "befriend the biggest guy there." Who also happened to be his cell mate (who was unfortunately in solitary confinement when he first arrived).

Wade ends up helping Logan escape to Logan's complete and utter disbelief and they hijack a spacecraft and fly away. Wade is cackling as he nearly crashes the damn thing and Logan is clinging to his seat for dear life.

They end up on the run across planets and wind up trying to investigate the people who messed with Wade's family who end up being part of this intergalactic terrorist organization. They also end up getting stranded on odd alien planets along the way with weird survival conditions... Yuck.

Eventually, they end up acquiring A Crew which consists of Wade's movie canonical friends and Laura, who's basically their daughter. They wind up making a base on some planet away from everyone for some peace and spend their days traveling through space and taking on stray missions...

But there's a twist.

"Worst Wolverine" isn't the original Logan. He's an alien. A shapeless parasite who wandered from person to person for over 200 years and became practically immortal when he possessed a body because he strengthened their healing and regeneration. Who took over the original Logan's body after he died (or well, his brain shut down but his body was salvageable). He'd gotten the original Logan's memories and emotions after possessing him, all except for one traumatic day. The day the X-men died.

He'd taken him over after Logan had been brutally murdered by a gang of aliens who'd put an ability-restricting collar on him. He felt all of Logan's emotions and guilt and because of the fragments he thought he was the one who murdered them. So he let himself be captured and rot in jail as atonement. Until Wade came along and convinced him that life was worth living.

(Until he realized that he hadn't killed them. He'd gone berserk trying to protect them. It finally clicks in place when he confronts the organization that had taken Wade's family and they recognize him.)

[beanghostprincess]

How funny would it be if there were rumors around the Cross Guild that Someone Is A Vampire.

Someone visiting for one thing or another catches a glimpse of a person in the dead if night sneaking our of the medical tent with a bag of blood. There are no alarms going off, no sign of their presence beyond a brief moment of Sighting Them, a soft growl, and then the person vanishing into the darkness.

The rumors spread across the Seas. Cross Guild has a Vampire. It's embellished and it grows more and more as the story is told. Eventually someone asks a member if the Guild, "do you have a vampire?" And the mercenary hesitates, pales slightly. "... He is more than that." That's all he'll say on the matter. The way he reacted, the way he seemed almost afraid, it makes people think and wonder.

A Vampire! And in this marine hunting organization? To be so powerful, he must be very strong! In a ... a position of power....

They look at the posters.

Mihawk is the first to be suspected. He hits almost every cliche. Pale? Goth? Drinks "red wine" all the time? Weird? Piercing eyes? Never smiles? Oh Absolutely It All Makes Sense.

There are some who suspect Crocodile. He has that Vibe, they say, ya know the one. It wouldn't be surprising, that's all they're saying.

Meanwhile nobody looks twice at the clown. He's an Emperor, some think idly, if he were a vampire, the world would know by now.

Shanks is giggling, twirling his hair, kicking his feet across the grandline at this point bc He Knows The Truth.

Buggy is a paramecia type devil fruit user - it effects the body and it's derived from the abilities of a Devil. Typically, they are considered the weaker forms of Devil Fruits bc they rarely awaken or offer further abilities. Buggy is, was, and always will be a special case.

To any knowledge, Buggy is the last of his kind. Crocus had his work cut out for him when trying to get a baseline for Buggy's health when he joined if only because so many things were Off or outright Not There or There When There Shouldn't Be. It was impossible to tell what was Devil Fruit vs Biology. So when Buggy began getting sick, losing weight, growing lethargic, it was a frenzy to find answers.

The solution presented itself in typical Whoopsies How Did That Happen fashion - Shanks got so mad about not being able to help, being scared for his best friend, his Buggy, that he punched a wall - tore his knuckles up. He hissed, shook his hand out, hopping around because ow ow ow fuck shit ow-

And then Buggy was staring.

Shanks, more distracted by Buggy being AWAKE, simply lunged for his friend, and was a little surprised when Buggy didn't push him away or hiss or scream - just took his hand, staring. "Oh," he chuckled awkwardly. "Don't mind that, just me being an idiot, ahah... hah... b-bugs?"

Buggy licks his hand.

Shanks is perturbed.

Crocus runs a few more experiments.

Okay yeah Buggy's a vampire. Cool. Good to know. Why? Not sure, but damn if it isn't something, huh?

Anyway, Cross Guild but the two goths have vampire allegations thrown their way every day, meanwhile their ACTUAL vampire boyfriend is loudly complaining that his polka dot thigh high are missing, oh where is his green scrunchy, honey have you seen his hot pink shorts or his rainbow glitter eyeshadow palette-?

This is hilarious and probably the best thing I've seen today I-- I love this. But ngl, I find this so good for so many Shuggy/Cross Guild concepts with Buggy as a vampire and drinking their blood 🙏🏻 Let them make out because the other three are extremely fucked in the head. It'd be great if Buggy treated being a Vampire so casually while the three of them are down bad for him drinking their blood or smth.

[cry-ptidd]

Actually, i have an interesting question. I've never seen Anderson/Yumi/Heinkel and Laura crossover in your comics. And honestly, when I try to think about what that would look like, all I see is blood. BUT STILL.

It's funny to me to think that an Anderson/Laura ship would be pretty traumatic, even though Laura's story started a long, long time ago. And the old traumas have, in theory, healed a bit. But yet, Anderson is fucking crazy, not an asshole, so...

Yumi/Laura could be pretty cute, I think, especially considering Yumi's sweet personality and how she's generally a good girl even when she's in a berserk state.

Heinkel/Laura could probably be funny, because they're both completely mad (NOT IN A BAD WAY).

The reason I haven't done much Iscariot/Laura is because I have no idea what to do lmao. I would LOVE to make more of them considering I really like the Iscariots, but imagination completely evades me on this one. Anyway,

Anderson x Laura

- personal rating: 4/10?

- HCs: This would take a BILLION years to happen, but I like to think Anderson would actually sympathize with Laura if he ever heard her past. He's a caring man at heart and she used to be a good Christian girl who earnestly loved God but her faith was crushed by the lust and hubris of evil men. He knows damn well the corruption that takes place in the church, and the one thing he hates is people using scripture to justify their evil deeds.

- OTP level: eh, 3/10?

- Would I have liked to see it canon: This would never work in canon. Ever. Not even hatefuck they genuinely hate each other for so many reasons. Laura is probably the only one on the Hellsing side Anderson can't respect even if he can acknowledge her strength in a fight. Laura fucking hates his guts bc he's a loud bitchy Christian zealot who tried to kill (and insulted) Integra and he makes her work overtime. She'd spit on a Bible just to spite him

- General opinion: I want them to interact more SO bad, but they'd genuinely not work romantically. Even if Anderson was a woman Laura would hate her. That said, I need to make more content of these two hooligans because they're both genuinely medically insane

Yumi/Laura:

- personal rating: 6/10

- HCs: Laura would probably get really confused about Yumi's DID. She wouldn't understand why she's acting completely differently and why she's responding to a different name. It'd probably take a little while for her to get used to it, and she'd probably stare at Yumi constantly until she gets it.

- OTP level: 5/10? I never really thought about this one

- Would I have liked to see it canon: I don't think it could be canon. That said, I could see it as more of a fandom rarepair that would get excellent fics with a shitton of religious metaphors.

- General opinion: This one is probably the cutest from Iscariot x Laura? I really like it actually. Laura would probably lil bro Yumi a lot considering their age and experience difference, and she'd also probably be quite patronizing about Yumi's faith. However, I think Yumiko would be kind to Laura.

Heinkel x Laura

- personal rating: 4.5/10

- HCs: Laura would be so bitchy to Heinkel and vice-versa. It's a constant back and forth of sarcastic quips until they're called off. Laura calls Heinkel a dumb brat and Heinkel calls Laura a bitch hag. Both are seething

- OTP level: 4/10

- Would I have liked to see it canon: Not in canon for me. I could see it, maybe in fanart or a fic, with some enemies with benefits and constantly trying to one-up the other.

- General opinion: I feel like Laura would find Heinkel incredibly annoying. She'd see them as an absolute stupid brat that follows her superiors like a lapdog, and Heinkel would probably say she's doing the same but without a purpose. If either fell down the stairs the other would laugh at them

[nenoname]

Kinda wanna rant a little about what you have also remarked about Hirsch's shallowness

Recently in a tweet thread as he discussed what Mario chatacters would the main GF characters play, and his reply for Ford is rather dismissive and lame as he claims he would rage quit.

https://nitter.poast.org/_AlexHirsch/status/1907502521838612829

Honestly why deny that Ford would take this moment to bond with the family? If anything Stan would try to rage quit or rig the game.

Also on a tangent but at another panel when Hirsch was asked about Dipper's bubble, he said it would be some X Files fantasy. And now its being popularised with cracklinhaze's X Falls.

https://www.tumblr.com/murmaiderii/764630878309761024/panel-highlights?source=share

But I also kinda disagreed. Dipper isnt easily fooled. Even Bill said he has a will of titanium. He's far too inquisitive and paranoid to be taken in by something like that. Just as Mabel's bubble is formed from her greatest character flaw (denial and refusal to acknowledge reality for what it is), a similarly perfect trap for Dipper would be based on his greatest flaws: insecurity, low self-esteem, and an inferiority complex. Dipper is constantly questioning his self worth and his future. So I dont think Dipper's bubble would not be a Paradise Trap as was Mabel's. Dipper's would be a prison to break down his will and isolate himself so he can't let others down. To just say Dipper's bubble is another paradise trap is quite a disservice to his paranoid and inquisitive nature. He would see through Bill's tricks and it wont work on him.

Again, its very telling that if not for the writers, he actually has no idea of how to handle his own characters

eh while i do agree alex definitely needs his other writers to help round out characters and see different perspectives, i don't exactly really have any issue with the specific stuff you brought up

mostly cos the mario kart stuff is just another on a whim sorta hc tweet that isn't taken seriously considering his answer for mcgucket is "rolling in rusty springs" but also personally i don't mind the ford answer cos it makes me think of hanzo (my old hypocritical blorbo of many years ago) and i do relate to being a petty bastard cos of my competitive nature conflicting with my inability to also not do the start boost kjsahdskahda i would think it'd be pretty damn silly if alex was full on "ford claims he's above all video games" cos there's definitely a bunch of genres he would like and it's more funny if he had a specific grudge against kart games only (and like not racing or driving games in general. specifically kart)

i think stan's urge to rage quit would be tempered from soos having him play games with him for a decade but i think he also would also be petty at the game too and try to distract others for an advantage while unintentionally sabotaging himself

and it might be a bit of stretch (considering it's pre weirdmageddon so the general character dynamics are different) but i am reminded of ford going "why don't we all play dd&md together" wanting to bond over something he's specifically interested in, instead of taking a 20 min break from the game so the others could watch their show they've been excited about for days kashdskahd (i get why ford didn't want to watch ducktective cos why watch a season finale of a show you've never seen with zero context? but it does make the end of the ep having the characters go "yeah!! let's watch the finale!!!" and it immediately cutting to ford not being there kinda sad)

-

anyway while that type of trap is more character fitting, i think the bubbles are more about bill thinking that the perfect prison is one that the prisoner would never want to leave so i always assumed any character's bubble is always paradise lotus eater machine deal with implied hypnosis (which is why you see mabel snapping out of it and being kinda shocked that she was oblivious to the place being obnoxiously bright and playing the same song constantly)

and the thing is, dipper+wendy+soos all were swayed by her bubble too even when they knew exactly what's going on and that they had to stop bill. wendy and soos fell for the "just five more minutes can't hurt...." temptation and got stuck hitting that snooze button!!! and i feel like with soos' example of his fantasy dad, it shows that even though he moved on and does think of stan as his dad, the bubble itself kinda encourages character regression? idk

but i guess that's also supported by dipper getting a fantasy wendy who's basically like "all the stuff you worked through over the summer and that speech you literally gave to gideon a few hours ago about accepting that you won't always have your feelings returned but should be the best person you can be anyway? forget that!!! go be happy in this fantasy and never think feel bad again!" and he only broke through that cos fake!wendy winking reminded him of the shapeshifter

i think an interesting trap for dipper would be preying on that "don't trust anyone" mindset that ford unfortunately ended up encouraging further in last mabelcorn with bill getting a front row seat to that entire incident via the banners 😭

[nkn0va]

Chie, Wagner, and Orie with an s/o who swears like a sailor?

I am so sorry for disappearing for so long. I'm on my training arc right now so writing has been put on the backburner

-Chie was used to people her age being a bit more on the reserved side, not really speaking their minds as much as she does. Which is why she's rather taken aback the first time she meets you.

-You have a short fuse, and you are not shy in letting people know when it's run out. The poor person on the receiving end is not leaving that encounter the same.

-She started to sort of take it upon herself to try and keep you from exploding like that when you two eventually started dating. It's not easy, but her optimistic attitude does seem to have an effect on your for the better.

-Although she wouldn't admit it aloud, she does find it funny when you get sassy, having to stifle a laugh when you say something so unexpected it's somehow amusing.

-She's learned insults she never could've imagined before. While she might not be using any of them, it's fun to see what you can come up with.

-You left quite the first impression on the Fourth Executor to say the least. She'd just transferred to your school and the first time she sees you is chewing out some idiot who thought it'd be a good idea to try and bully you.

-Wagner's first reaction was to think rather lowly of you, letting your temper get the best of you like that. However, it wasn't like she didn't have her moments like that too, quite the opposite actually.

-Yes you seemed to impulsively swear...a lot, but you were a normal person with normal human emotions, albeit with a short fuse. When you weren't exploding you could be surprisingly entertaining.

-That's probably the main reason she entered a relationship with you. You were a much needed refreshing change from the monotonous life she was forced to live in a country of people that seemed hesitant to speak their minds. You were no such person.

-She knows damn well her family wouldn't be the most fond of someone like you, but she can cross that bridge when she gets to it.

-Of the three, Orie is by far the most taken aback by your language when she meets you for the first time. A sheltered life in the Licht Kreis meant growing up around well-spoken polite people.

-Clearly this was not the case for you. You wore your mind on your sleeve. Whether that was for better or worse was up to interpretation, but you certainly didn't hide what you thought at any given moment.

-You were one of the last people Orie ever expected to catch feelings, for, let alone actually enter a relationship with. It was far different than she was expecting, though maybe that was for the better.

-She went in expecting constant pressure to keep you happy and be careful to not offend you, especially considering your temperament. She was pleasantly surprised to realize that you were more than willing to put in work and show that you appreciated her as well, even if your ways in doing so were a bit...on the nose at times.

-Knowing someone whose as honest and straightforward as you has her back is a comforting feeling, one that she doesn't know how she went her entire life without.

[sketchehm]

This might be too drama focused...but being a Peruvian American and seeing what's been cropping up, what's considered racist and what isn't...

How more people haven't brought up how latam humor is more related to American pre-2010s humor? Because the similarities are damning

I do think Peruvians are racist, or at the least, have a lot of racist behaviors, and this of course doesn't mean to everyone and is a general oversight. I have no say for the rest of latam or spanish speaking population in general and this is coming from personal experience. I've heard my own family throwing around racist jokes to each other all the time, my entire life! They all laugh and have fun! I've watched peruvian TV shows and comedy shows and seen racist and xenophobic behaviors and everyone is laughing. I'm laughing. Because it's all chalked up to be something funny, not as an attack. We are all laughing together. My black aunts/uncles/cousins are laughing with my nonblack dad/aunts/uncles/cousins racist jokes to each other. Just because everyone is having fun doesn't mean it isn't racist.

But if I heard it all in English, I knew it'd be a whole different story for me. I'd be ashamed of myself. It wasn't until I was watching these Spanish speaking streamers and started truly translating everything in my head that I was realizing, oh, hey. These are jokes that used to be made all the time in America and are now looked down upon.

Cause America has gone through a lot to overcome that kind of injustice. I grew up in America, I've learned all about it, watched it on the news, seen it online.

I think anyone from the english speaking community seeing someone from the spanish speaking world make a joke that is considered racist to them, then it's racist to them. That's that. If they're saying hey, you're acting racist for saying this joke. Then you are acting racist to /them/. You can be a good person and have all your friends laugh at your jokes. But if a stranger overhearing you tells you that you're acting racist. Maybe consider where they're coming from.

Seeing spanish speaking fans trying to say "oh well you'll have to cancel the whole lot of them cause they all make a, b, and c jokes. That's just how everyone is." Well to me, that's how "all" Americans used to be too.

I'm not trying to be like...bigger than thou. Because I have laughed along plenty with streamers and their very much not okay jokes. There's such a difference for me of what's acceptable if it's spoken in Spanish or English and I'm not proud of myself for having that distinction either.

The blackface is racist. Easy as that. Peruvians have some of the most dark skinned toned population. So it's become a joke. Let's make that the prime joke about peruvians. Lets make fun of them just for how their skintone is. Let's normalize it beyond belief to forget any kind of transgression it might cause. And when some kid starts hating the way their skin is cause other people keep making fun of it, well tough shit I guess. Take it as you will.

Peruvians aren't upset about it, so why are Americans? Well you don't know every Peruvian. My family makes racist jokes because it's normal to them. They forget it's racist when it's within a group who knows they aren't meaning to be racist. Doesn't mean they still don't have racist roots. Doesn't mean the joke wasn't initially born with the intention to belittle others. It doesn't mean there are plenty of resources out there describing Peru's racist past and present.

Americans, Black Americans, because that's who are being attack by the spanish speaking community from what I've seen, are just more aware of that injustice because they've been victim to it. They know the signs more. Respect to them all having to live through it. Seeing it crop up again, it must be so demoralizing and hurtful.

I love being Peruvian. Have witnessed so much Black Peruvian culture and seen how loved it all is. Doesn't mean people aren't being racist without knowing it.

I know the cc's aren't trying to be offensive. I know these jokes made in latam are just of the times. Doesn't mean it should be defended, I think. Its offending people and that should be recognized.

I don't have much of a closing statement, but I feel I wanted to say something considering who I am. Both my parents are Peruvian and I was born here in America. I'm as tan as every other Peruvian. I visit every couple years since I was 2yrs old for about a month or so. I love Peru and it's culture and am very proud of it. But I know it isn't perfect. I know my own views aren't perfect, but I hope they are understandable.

[goshdangronpa]

Dandadan x Tokomaru

Surprisingly not much would change than I expected. Komaru takes the role of Ayase and Toko takes the role of Okarun. It would start similarly with Komaru noticing Toko all alone and taking an interest in her after she noticed her reading an alien book that Hiro loaned to her.

Komaru already believes in ghosts so that fits. Toko doesn’t actually believe in aliens but she finds it so absurd to believe in ghosts she just has to prove this prep girl wrong. Komaru getting defensive makes the bet to prove whether or not Ghosts/Aliens are real.

Toko goes for the Turbo Granny that Komaru has been following sightings on. Meanwhile Komaru goes to find aliens based on what Hiro blabbed to Toko (something about aliens abducting his burger).

They’re both correct. Toko sees the Turbo Granny and faints as she about to possess her and Komaru gets abducted by aliens. Komaru awakens psychic powers and Toko gets Turbo Granny abilities. Similarly Komaru uses her ability to prevent Turbo Granny from fully possessing her and Syo comes out and helps defeat the aliens causing the ufo to crash.

After all that crazy stuff happens. They call Hiro first cause he must know something and he recommends asking his mom, Hiroko (who’ll be taking the role of Granny Seiko). With Hiroko’s help they defeat the Turbo Granny trap her in one of Komaru’s old plushie (Could be a Monokuma doll).

The duo also realizes something. Toko fainted before the Turbo Granny possessed her. it was actually Syo who got possessed and in turn now she retains the abilities of the Turbo Granny. So if Toko needs to use the Turbo Granny’s power she’ll switch to Syo instantly. Speed of the turbo granny with Syo’s scissors makes her quite a force.

Komaru’s psychic abilities are shown with her ahoge acting like a radio antenna. After being told to visualize it like truth bullets, She can “Move” grab or “knock back” things with her mind. Maybe with practice she can do more.

Hi, anon! Thanks for sharing this with me, I'm pleased that people feel they can share fun Danganronpa ideas with me like this.

Personally, a big part of the appeal of Dan Da Dan's central pair is that Okarun DOES believe in aliens. In that way, he and Ayase match each other's freak. Perhaps a different ship might be better for this scenario ... but that's not why we do these things. I'm lowkey developing a Little Shop of Horrors AU, and I'll be damned if it's not tsumioda!

Just gotta find a way to make it work, then. In that light, it's at least true to Toko's character that she'd make this claim just to stick it to someone she considers foolish. She makes this bet thinking she'll win either way, and she's dead wrong. Scenario saved!

It'd be interesting to have Hiroko in the Seiko role. For starters, she'd know more about aliens than ghosts instead. Maybe she's a longtime hippie, the kind who's visited UFO hotspots around the world and has dubious claims of experiences with aliens? Additionally, she has no relation to the Ayase analogue. She's the mom of a classmate whom Toko doesn't even consider a friend. Might be terribly funny if Komaru mistakes Yasuhiro as a rival for Toko's affections.

The ideas for Genocide Jack's possession and Komaru's psychic powers are my fave parts of this whole thing. Looking forward to the moment when Komaru makes the Loch Ness Monster dance. Now who'd take on the roles of Aira and Jin ... (Is Yasuhiro already the latter?)

[haliotropes]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (PT. 3)

(Pt 2)

Rating: M

TAGS: language/frightening scenes including stalking/hangovers/implied past abuse/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a cop

"Sure you don't need sunglasses?"

You shield your eyes from the garish sun that punishes you from the window beside you.

"Shut up," you mutter. You're letting the smell of your coffee settle before trying to drink it. Mark, on the other hand, is halfway through his second cup and eating breakfast.

The tinny sounds of the cafe are ringing in your ears and pounding against your skull. You groan.

"I'm fuckin' glad you stopped me when you did," you admit.

"I woulda let you go all night if I wasn't directly overseeing your safety."

"Good to know."

"Aren't you gonna order?"

"Do you want to see me throw up all of yesterday onto this freshly mopped floor? It's a near trick- I use it at parties."

"A simple 'no' woulda sufficed."

"Toast. I need toast."

If you'd had your head up, you would've seen Mark wave over a waiter. He clears his throat and you lift your face from where it rests on your palms.

"Oh. Um, two slices of white toast, please, with butter and jelly."

The waiter nods, says it'll be a couple minutes, then leaves. You don't have it in yourself to lay your head back down.

"Why'd you drag me out here?" You mumble.

"You don't like breakfast?"

You glare at him.

"Alright, fine. Just wanted to let you know that, if all goes well for the next week, you'll be rid of me. Got the update this morning."

You perk up a little. "Does that mean the Jigsaw killer stopped?"

Mark chuckles. "That is proprietary information. All you need to know is that they think you're safe enough to not need me."

You watch him eat. You've always considered it one of the most vulnerable states a person can be in. If someone eats in front of you, they trust you, at least a little. You notice the way his jaw ticks, his hair falling in his face every so often. He really is quite handsome, and in a different timeline you'd probably be attracted to his arrogant personality. But definitely not here. Not now.

The waiter brings your toast and you start it slowly, but soon are consuming it with little thought to your stomach.

"Any big plans for the day?" He asks.

"Well, I don't have work. Probably go running, read, grocery shop. Regular, boring stuff. Why? You wanna do the domestics with me?" You joke. Mark shrugs.

"Hey, sounds to me like looking after you is like a day off. Where do you run?"

You stare at him, your mouth hanging open in a way that is, frankly, embarrassing. He looks at you in confusion.

"What?"

You shake yourself out of the stupor.

"The park off 7th. It has a track back in the woods."

"Damn, you're really trying to put yourself in the most vulnerable positions."

You sigh in exasperation. "It's the same shit I've always done-"

"I'm just joking."

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny," you mutter. Mark deadpans.

"Haha."

True to his word, Hoffman shows up to the walking trail at the park...and he's in running gear. He's in a sleeveless hoodie and basketball shorts. The only thing he's missing is a sweatband.

And you. You nearly piss yourself laughing.

"Holy shit!"

"Thought you'd get a kick out of it."

"Aw, did you get all dolled up for me?" You say between snorts.

"I'm not jogging in a suit," he remarks, now frowning at your comments.

"Are the tags still on it?"

"You know I can leave you out here."

"Then it'd be time to update your resume."

You two begin with a brisk walk that turns to a jog. You go like this for about ten minutes of uninterrupted silence until you come to a pond.

"Hey, I always stop here. Wanna sit?"

Your both out of breath and Mark merely nods as you both plant yourselves on a bench. You take a moment to relish in the warm breeze as it passes over your skin and through the thick pines above.

"Why here?"

Mark's voice breaks you from your reverie.

"It started as a place to go to feel safe. Now it just feels familiar. It's my favorite place besides home."

"You felt unsafe?"

You give him a tight lipped smile. "Haven't we all? Besides. I'm moving on."

It's not untrue. But your words carry a sense of space and time. You have neither.

You're almost disappointed when Mark doesn't do the grocery routine with you. You think of all the opportunities it would give for you to poke fun at him and him do the same to you.

He's nicer than you had expected, for a cop. He can be a pain in the ass, usually is, but he also seems to have your best interest at heart. He's laid back (maybe more than he should be) now that you're not constantly antagonizing him.

All in all, it's growing more bearable.

You even sleep better, knowing that there's someone who's got your back.

You hadn't told them everything. You do like Mark's company, his watchfulness.

You're laying in bed. It's 1 am and you're still awake, but only because you'd finally managed to start a consistent patch on your knitting. The only lighting is the lamps which you know is bad on your eyes, but you like the dimness. It's where you feel at peace.

You don't see it at first. You're looking up to catch a glimpse at the tv, playing some late night crime drama, when you notice something out of the corner of your eye. It's the window at the end of your room.

There's no question or no hesitation. They're eyes. And they're staring right at you.

At first, you don't move, as if it's dinosaur rules. Like those eyes will forget you. Then they blink, and they're gone.

You shoot out of your bed and nab your phone from the nightstand, pressing 3, for Mark's speed dial number. After a few rings at a nail biting pace, he answers.

"Hello?"

You lock your bedroom door and sit with your back to it.

"Someone's outside my apartment."

"What? You sure?"

"Of course I'm fucking sure! He was outside my window. Jesus, Mark, please get here."

"Alright alright, I'm on my way. Call the police too, just to be safe. Make sure your doors are locked."

"Okay. Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Mark? Hurry. Please."

You hang up and clutch the phone to your chest. You debate sprinting to the kitchen for the knife but you can't move. The idea that you may not have locked your front door haunts the back of your mind.

Time is meaningless and empty as you sit. However long it's been, you hear a pounding on your front door. Your bones are solid concrete and don't allow you to move. Eventually, the banging stops.

Then, a face at your window. You scream.

"Y/n!"

It's a muffled sound for the glass but you know the voice isn't the one you fear. Mark's outside. You scramble up, throw open your bedroom door, and unlock the front door. Mark's hands find your shoulders as you hyperventilate.

"Oh my god, Mark."

You're crying. You're sobbing.

"You're alright. You're safe."

No, you were not alright or safe. He had been outside your window. He knows where you live.

A pained sound escapes you and you clutch onto Mark's jacket before falling into him. If you had your wits about you, embarrassment for relying on him so vulnerably would seize you. But instead he guides you inside, closing the door behind you, as you shake with your sobs. He sits you on the couch, then leaves, then returns with a glass of water. But you can't hold it without spilling it everywhere.

"What did he look like?"

What do you say?

"Um...I didn't see him."

Mark's hold on your forearm, barely perceptibly, tightens.

"At all?"

You shake your head and your eyes burn.

"No."

"I was just outside your window. With the lighting available and the surrounding area, it's almost impossible to have not seen him. So, what aren't you telling me?"

You very quickly realize how close you are to him, the way his body cages you against the couch. A man easily twice your size, a cop, with a gun, is towering over you.

You stand and shake out your hands. Mark watches you.

"How long until the cops get here?"

"Any minute. I made another call on the way here."

You slow, look at him.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

His eyes narrow at you.

"I was out on another call. What's your point?"

"Nothing." You shake your head again and hold your arms, pacing back and forth. He stands from the sofa. When he does, you flinch.

At this, he freezes.

"Y/n..."

He takes another step forward. You step back.

"Okay. I understand. But you're safe. You're okay."

You scowl. "I don't fucking feel okay. Right now I'm alone and vulnerable with a cop that I know doesn't play by the book."

"What happened to you wanting me here?"

"I don't know. What happened to you making me feel safe?"

"Feel has nothing to do with it. You're safe right now; I'm doing my job."

You're both still, and you dare not to breathe until you hear the sirens tearing down the street. Mark sighs out his nose and goes through the front door to greet the police. You sit on the couch. Your whole body feels cold.

He has a point. What did happen to that trust? Did it suddenly melt away?

But you know. Your trust has snapped. It was tenuous to begin with. That's not your fault. If he was really good at his job, he should've clocked it by now. You're a textbook case.

Other police come in to get your statements. Someone suggests that Hoffman stay the night, or that you get taken to a safe house, but you insist upon neither. You'd really hate to have a repeat of earlier, but you can't stand to leave right now, nor are you totally comfortable with Hoffman in the house with you. They all decide to have a couple officers post up outside for the remainder of the evening.

"Well," Hoffman huffs at the door. "Let me know if you need anything else. Though I doubt you will."

A small drip of guilt tugs at your gut but you wave it away. You're so tired.

"Right," you say, tapping on the doorframe.

"Just remember. I've done nothing but help you. And I don't appreciate you all but making accusations against me."

Danger pricks at the back of your neck. "You're not making a great care for yourself right now."

Mark inhales, stiffens, then relaxes as though he's made up his mind about something.

"Right. Well, get some sleep. Maybe close your curtains."

You slam the door behind him and lock it. You return to your room and cuddle up into bed, but despite your exhaustion, you can't sleep. And even though you can't think about Hoffman, you take his advice about the curtains. But you can't turn away from the window either. So you stare at the ceiling. Think about tomorrow. You know you'll be called into the station. You know you'll have to face Hoffman.

You can't quite get a read on him. Only hours ago were you having a genuine connection with him. He responded immediately to your call and came to your side. And yet...

He's an intense man; there's no denying it. But if you can't get a grip on it, you'll drown under its weight.

So is it him? Or is it your own mind betraying you? Sabotaging your connection with another man, even as an acquaintance?

Before you know it, the sun has come up. You get a shower and dress as normal. You eat breakfast. You take the call to the station as normal. You leave your apartment, heart sinking when Hoffman's car is absent, and you try to walk to the main road for a cab as normal. But nothing about this is normal because he's seen you and you've seen him.

And you're beginning to think you'll never have a normal day again.

[badgalsasuke]

tumblr(.)com(/)badgalsasuke(/)762613948687253504 isn't this person argueing that naruto's canon ship makes no sense compared to sasuke's canon ship? I assume the other part she's talking about is gonna talk about ss. I'm too lazy to go to her blog but I'm 1000% sure this person is ss shipper since I saw her once argueing for ss and how it's not homophobic to ship ss instead of sns

I'm gonna combine your asks into one post.

I have no idea if she's a SS shipper, based on her user I assumed she was idk a NRSK shipper or a Inosaku shipper bc they trash NH too. I kinda forgot that SS shippers also like to trash NH and viceversa when I rebbloged that post.

That being said, I haven't seen exactly what she argued when she said that shipping SS isn't inherently homophobic. If she was saying stuff like Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is like siblings and stuff like that, then that'd be homophobic but since I don't know exactly what she said, I can't say.

But, yeah SS and NH tend to be hypocritical and their cognitive dissonance is astounding. I don't know if I should delete that reblog, bc even if she was being a hypocrite, that post is still correct lol

If she were to argue (or if she already did, I'm too lazy to check her stuff) Sasuke would pick Sakura over Naruto I wonder what type of arguments she would make, considering it's far more obvious that Sasuke would pick Naruto over anyone else than Naruto picking Sasuke over anyone else (and Naruto picking Sasuke over others is already damn obvious).

I mean we all saw how Sasuke saved Naruto with his hawk and left Sakura and Kakashi to die even though Naruto didn't need to be saved and told him to specifically save Sakura and Kakashi LMAO

Or when Sasuke said he didn't care if Sakura and Kakashi live or die, he only happened to save them from the tsukuyomi with his susanoo bc they were close to Naruto and he intended to save only Naruto

We also all saw in Naruto Gaiden how Sasuke basically went zero contact with Sakura but sends letters to Naruto and has secret meetings with him often. Plus the famous panels of him getting worried for Naruto when he was stabbed but not giving a fuck when Sakura was sent to another dimension.

So, yeah it'd be funny to see how SS shippers argue (without using fillers) that Sasuke would pick Sakura over Naruto considering that has never happened in the manga.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

[NSFW AU prompt] Bunny Prince Ouma and His Guard Saihara

Apollo: Thought of two more royal aus Either Prince Shuichi x Personal Assistant (or really any servant) Kokichi Or Bratty Prince Kokichi x Personal Guard fed up with his shit Shuichi

[I asked about the first one, but literally everyone else picked the second, and I am glad we went with it]

Apollo: I read a story for a different fandom ages ago where the guard got so fed up that in the middle of the night, they dragged the prince to the empty throne room and fucked him on his throne so whenever he had to sit in there, all he'd be able to think of is the time he got fucked by his secret boyfriend I think they were planning to marry once he became King or something

Bunny: see the thing is kokichi is not actually even close to a spoilt, utterly out-of-touch, silver spoon little princeling. but i am not thinking with my first head here okay put him in ruffles

Apollo: He's not out of touch but sometimes he acts like it and Shuichi has to put him back in his place because how the fuck are you meant to run a kingdom when you're acting like that?

Bunny: consider: he keeps running away to Shenanigan in the village near the castle and shuuichi has to chase him down i love when shuuichi grows enough of a spine to be someone's rock

Dra: Help he pretends to be a commoner,,

Bunny: he wears the silly vampire cloak all hooded and creeping thru the commoner alleyways

Apollo: He tries to act all innocent after running off so when they're alone in Kokichi's room, Shuichi spanks him as punishment before walking out to stand guard because he's not fucking Kokichi as part of the punishment

Hina: Is he out of touch or acting?

Bunny: see i think it would be interesting if he THOUGHT he wasn't out of touch he could also be adopted by the king and queen as a pr move, if you want to give him a more canon-adjacent backstory

Apollo: Yes. He's just some kid they adopted and he KNOWS it was nothing more than a PR stunt so screw it. He's gonna be a dick when possible then get dicked down by his sassy guard boyfriend

Bunny: adopt him as a pr move?? he'll be nice long enough to cement his place and then become a pr nightmare better get a personal guard to reign him in and keep him from shenaniganizing… sure that'll work……

Hina: What if they caught him stealing from the castle or SMTH? And they were just so generous and recognized a “soul in need” that they took him under their wing themselves

Bunny: i need shuuichi to say "your highness" in the most disrespectful way possible points if he's in front of the king and queen and saying it ostensibly respectfully but all kokichi can hear is the way he said it last night he knows he doesn't mean it squirming in his lil throne

Apollo: They ask if he's okay and he has to lie. Shuichi is just smirking because no one is looking at him anymore other than Kokichi. The only other people who know about them is DICE and the other staff. Kokichi is actively destroying any hope of his parents hooking him up with someone from another kingdom

Hina: Are they trying to marry him off

Bunny: how sex-positive is this kingdom? is kokichi's virginity cared about

Apollo: I mean a lot of kingdoms try to marry off their kids for stronger connections and shit so I think it'd be funny if Kokichi's ruining all of their attempts to he can stay with the hot guard I find both options hilarious. Either they want him 'pure' for when he eventually gets married or they don't care he's slept around as long as he behaves damn it!

Hina: Do they care about homosexual couples or nah?

Apollo: Nah they're chill with that if they weren't Kokichi would ruin them

Bunny: 'kokichi' and 'purity' in the same sentence are already so fucking funny but yeah i can go for some good Defilement™ just be SUBTLE about being a whore jesus christ STOP EYEING UP THAT DUKE YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US

Apollo: "Now honey we know you're…Exploring yourself but please try to behave." "Uh huh sure…Anyway, you reckon he'd be down to fuck?" "Kokichi!" "What? I'm just asking!"

Dra: Are we allowed to angst in here/hj

Bunny: chanting ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, ASS-

Dra: I can't believe I'm bringing Islam here again but Fun fact when they tried to kill the prophet someone else slept in his bed and they almost cut his head off Saioucoded methinks

Bunny: maybe someone's a royal purist and mad he got adopted?

Apollo: Maki is the assassin which hurts because both Kokichi and Shuichi knew her growing up. Kokichi from the orphanage and Shuichi via Kaito. So now Shuichi is forced to fight one of his friends

Bunny: why did shuuichi get hired. how did he gain a reputation as a brat tamer

Hina: Remember how he wrestled an alligator?

Apollo: NEW IDEA: Kokichi's parents are Nagito and Hajime who are just pretending they don't know that their son is a fucking whore for his guard. They're supportive but are still trying to figure out a way to bring it up.

Bunny: awww but i wanted them to suck nagito and hajime would be actually decent parents how am i meant to cheer for their banishment like this the idea of them just. trying to figure out how to breach the subject is SO funny though

Hina: You see. I love the idea of Hajime fucking hating Shuichi in this context, so.

Apollo: Hajime being the dad to rant about Shuichi not getting permission to date let alone have sex with their son while Nagito is just sitting there like Isn't young love adorable?

Mauri: something something kokichi watching shuichi train and getting horny bc of how easily he could throw him across the room (but wouldn’t bc shuichi is a sweetheart) Apollo: YES! Kokichi keeps sneaking away from his lessons because god DAMN his boyfriend is hot and can do whatever the fuck he wants to him

Mauri: “your parents will have my head if anything happens to you, especially with your own guard-“ “shuichi beloved shut up and let me give YOU head”

Dra: How petty do we want Shu in this

Bunny: extremely wait, toward who?

Apollo: OKAY BUT NAGITO IS THE ROYAL BORN WHO DATED THE 'COMMONER' WHICH PISSED OFF HIS PARENTS AND THEY KEEP TRYING TO PRESSURE THE PAIR TO AT LEAST MARRY KOKICHI OFF TO SOMEONE OF 'DECENT' BLOOD AND THEY KEEP GOING TO HIM WITH PHOTOS OF PRINCESSES AND (EVENTUALLY) PRINCES BUT KOKICHI IS TURNING THEM ALL DOWN BECAUSE FUCK HIS HOMOPHOBIC CLASSEST GRANDPARENTS!

Mauri: ,,,can fantasy elements be introduced bc i want kokichi helping tenko woo the royal mage himiko [I cut out a portion when an arranged marriage was suggested between him and Tenko]

Dra: Can we creature the characters [pleading face emoji] just slightly Maybe not straight up critters but some small traits sjfjd

Apollo: Himiko is Kokichi's magic teacher and he spends the whole time trying to hook her up with Tenko

Bunny: THAT DOESN;T SPECIFY WHETHER I CAN PULL OUT THE BUNKICHI PARTY POPPER YET DRA /SILLY his ears flattened under the cloak hood,, shuuichi yanks it off and they just ! straight up

[ideas for Shuichi] Sini: Half elf? Dra: Pointy ears,,,, Sini: To match bf in a way Apollo: Kokichi keeps poking his ears so Shuichi just gently tugs on his Lulu: Shu high elf. Intense parental pressure to be confident and proper. <- doesn’t know what the conversation is about Dra: That or he should get a tail that can also drag Kokichi when wrapped around him/hj

Bunny: aww shuuichi can't drag kokichi around by his ear like this huh…sacrifices must be made for bnuy i suppose did we ever decide what DICE are to him?

Apollo: Ooooo what if Nagito brought all of them back with him after learning they knew Kokichi before he was adopted and brings them all to Hajime like Babe can we keep them? Look at them! They're adorable and Kichi's friends! [pleading face emoji]

Bunny: (hajime vc) YOU ALREADY GAVE ALL OUR ROOMS TO THOSE LITTLE CANDY-COLORED HEATHENS JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A CASTLE DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE INFINITE ORPHAN SPACE

Sini:Nagito stop adopting strays challenge

Apollo: Hajime loves his stupid husband but damn does he wish he had more impulse control

Bunny: the castle was so cold and quiet when he was young. never again it's full of laughing children now. if they steal all his food then that price must be paid sndsbjfgsf the kitchens are TERRORIZED they could just ask but they like theft. it's funny

Apollo: Kokichi hugs his parents and mumbles a thank you before running off to play with his friends (when they're not working at least the ones old enough. The only catch was they needed to work which none of them minded because it's easy and fun work)

Hina: Nagito’s parents like. “Y’all need an heir” and Nagito is like, “I’ve got twenty.”

Bunny: "they'll just bite each other for the crown. it's fine" "togami's parents did that i'm pretty sure" "they'll prove the strength of their hope" ok so that's the Lore established. what's the third act conflict and why is it grandpa and grandma hiring an assassin

Apollo: Can't deal with all the poors 'dirting' the castle and it started with the purple brat. If it weren't for him, they might have been able to convince Nagito to dump Hajime and find someone else (it wouldn't have worked) so now they want the twink gone

Bunny: psssst shuuichi i found a way for you to endear urself to the parents you may or may not have to get stabbed

Apollo: Want to know how to get the Kings to approve of you constantly fucking the Prince? Just get stabbed!

Bunny: okay but for real kokichi not moving an inch from his bedside,,,

Apollo: He starts arguing with whoever tries to get him leave and says they'll have to drag him kicking and screaming from the damn room if they want him out

Bunny: shuuichi's gonna drag him kicking and screaming when he wakes up cracks an eye open like hm i sense poor self care kokichi's fucked in more ways than one! he ties kokichi down and it's NOT EVEN SEXY. the BETRAYAL it's the best nap he's had in years though

Mauri: consider: shuichi gets stabbed and its the first time he's seen kokichi genuinely cry everyones worrying over kokichi bc assassination attempt and hes just screaming at everyone to help shuichi, dammit

Apollo: Nagito tries to pick him up to take him to safety but Kokichi is struggling and screaming that Shuichi needs help. Shuichi's the one in danger not him

Bunny: shuuichi would be [uno reverse emoji] were he not mostly unconscious at this point kokichi feels Cripplingly guilty for every time he's ever bothered shuuichi. if he weren't such a brat shuuichi wouldn't even have to be here

Mauri: hajime sends a reluctant kokichi out to talk w shuichi alone and shuichi is Panickign n then hajime gives him the most awkward blessing to court his son in history

Beez: kokichi not leaving shuichis side until he recovers. . .. . . augh

Bunny: bunny ears drooped all the way down :(((

Mauri: someone tries to get kokichi to leave and he does the thump

Bunny: you can't see his face bc it's buried in shuuichi's torso but if you even suggest leaving you hear a muffled thump

Apollo: He starts crying because he wants to hug Shuichi but he doesn't know how to without hurting him and what's worse is that Shuichi got hurt because of him

Mauri: the first thing shuichi does when he wakes up and is lucid is ask if kokichi is unhurt and kokichi just starts Sobbing

Bunny: SADDEST BNUY OF ALL TIME shuuichi gently scooting over so kokichi can wiggle into the hospital bed

Mauri: shuichi uses all his strength to provide ear scritches so kokichi will forgive him (kokichi forgave him a while ago hes just sad and needs physical comfort)

Bunny: back on the thumping. mikan is flashing back to every time she's heard a distant DON'T YOU THUMP AT ME from down the hall and Understanding YES!!! pet the boy tender kissies except shuuichi tastes SO FUCKING BAD from not brushing his teeth for several days oops

Mauri: baby bunkichi where hajime tries to give him carrots and nagito just does the most offended horrified gasp bc THOSE ARENT GOOD FOR THE BABY

Bunny: baby bunkichi seeing some bright colorful candy, eating it immediately, and getting sick bc it turned out to have gelatin in it

Hina: How did Kokichi become bunny

Bunny: beastfolk just Exist in this world and he's adopted remember

Apollo: Hajime being clueless is so hilarious. He wasn't prepared for kids and now he has a hybrid for one. He's so confused but he's trying

Bunny: nagito bans all non-vegetarian candy from the castle FOREVER tiny kokichi wailing like he's DYING from a tummyache nagito is this close to making gelatin ILLEGAL FOREVER it's less that he has an allergy and more than he literally can't digest it bc. yknow. herbivore

Mauri: derailing back to horny bc i just think tail scritches during sex

Bunny: kokichi doing these jerky excited little bunny thrusts that are not satisfying at All. shuuichi thinks he's adorable but he does grab his hips and make him slow down still

Beez: will never be over the fact that bunny tails r lengthy shuichi gives it a lil tug n it just stretches out n he goes [eyes but fast emoji]

Apollo: Okay but I adore when Shuichi has to slow Kokichi down and remind him that they have all the time in the world so there's no need to rush through anything

Mauri: kokichi bottoming and he gets too excited and starts thumping except hes basically just kicking shuichis back really hard

Bunny: counterpoint: shuuichi forcing him to go slow and steady and getting little angry thumps if he's edging his prince in the name of royal virtues like restraint and patience that's his business

Apollo: Hajime tells Kokichi he has to learn patience and Shuichi's like Bet

Bunny: the funniest part is that it works shuuichi gives him the Look and he gets so polite and patient all of a sudden

Apollo: Hajime just dies inside when he realises the guard he hired to protect Kokichi, basically trained him to be kind and obedient and there's only one way that could have happened

Bunny: shuuichi walks by with kokichi slung over his shoulder and hajime is just what have i done

Apollo: Nagito is just trying not to laugh because now that Hajime has given Shuichi the go ahead to court their son, everything is about to get worse

Bunny: a couple nights after shuuichi is hired as a guard, kokichi gives him the slip and runs down into the city. he's far from the first guard hajime has hired to keep him under control; he's confident shuuichi will either quit or be fired like all the rest. shuuichi tracks him down with ease, sneaks up behind him, and yanks his hood off, bc i still think his ears doing the ! is adorable. kokichi nervous-laughs - none of the guards have actually caught him before - and tries to charm his way out of it. shuuichi tells him firmly that he's going home, NOW. (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for authority). kokichi runs for it, and shuuichi gives chase. they're evenly matched at least in brains, and the race goes on for quite a while. (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for predator/prey). shuuichi slings him over his shoulder (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for strength) and carries him back to his rooms. (kokichi discovers he needs to lay the fuck down). (shuuichi discovers that Brat Prince Cute Oh Fuck) he is laying flat on his back on his big round prince bed trying to breathe normally

Hina: Is it just bunny ears and a tail he’s got or anything else?

Bunny: just ears and a tail, physically well that's not quite true i suppose a herbivorous digestive system counts as does a mildly rabbity brain/instincts but he hasn't got any other externally physical traits

Mauri: twitchy nose but that can be a regular human thing tbh

Apollo: He's just a flustered mess because holy shit not only did this guard catch him, he's hot as fuck and now Kokichi knows a lot more about himself than he thought he ever would Wait Don't rabbits go into heat or something?

Mauri: quietly holds up breeding kink

Me: yeag, finally something catering to me

Apollo: Hajime awkwardly warns Shuichi that during his heat, there's a chance Kokichi will try to run again but this time to find a partner…He's unaware that the two are already are fucking. Nagito already knows that the two got together. He hasn't told anyone. He just picked up on the looks so he tells his husband that he won't have to worry about him finding a stranger to fuck Shuichi didn't know he had a thing for breeding until a horny ass Kokichi begged him to

Mauri: would condoms have been invented in this time period

Me: irrelevant <3 cream pie time

Mauri: bc i can see nagito lecturing kokichi and shuichi on safe sex bc he wants to be a good responsible parent shuichi is Slowly Dying

Apollo: Nagito is explaining safe sex while Shuichi is sitting there pretending he didn't fuck his son that morning Kokichi, mid heat: Breed me damn it Shuichi: Oh fuck why am I so into that?

Bunny: shuuichi doesn't even have a dick (and wouldn't be able to impregnate kokichi if he did) but kokichi is. a lil stupid rn he's heatdrunk no one tell him that's a strap

Me: fuck it, this is a fantasy au with creatures, there are potions for it (probably ones that would have to be regularly consumed like how taking hormones works, but for Everything and Instant bc it's Magic)

Beez: himiko casts whatever the opposite of penis explosion is on him

Apollo: Himiko finding out Shuichi is trans: Skidaddle skidoodle your pussy is now a noodle!

Me: or that

Bunny: damn i LIKED the pussy /lh she magics his strap into connecting with his nerves, best of both worlds Me: we've all thought of detachable boobs before, now get ready for the sequel: detachable schlong, you know you want it, call now for a discount-

Apollo: Shuichi: Awkwardly trying to explain what happened Kokichi: So you have both now? Cool! Hajime: I saw Saihara down herre ealier…Everything okay? Himiko: Yeah he just wanted a spell to help with his junk when he fucks Kokichi Hajime: WHAT? Himiko: I mean he wanted a cleaning spell for when Kokichi drops something and fucks it up!!! Nagito just smiles because so helpful! while Hajime is trying not to cry because he did NOT need to hear that

Bunny: hajime is also trans nagito is having Scheming Thoughts

Apollo: Okay but Kokichi knows he can talk to Nagito about anything so when he's asked if the spell works, he says yes (naturally he doesn't go into detail about it) so Nagito now knows what he's getting Hajime for his birthday! Okay but Nagito's parents show up and at some point see Kokichi kissing Shuichi on the cheek (who lightly hit his ass for it) and rush of to report it to their son and Hajime just stares at them blankly and says Be glad that's all you saw. I walked in on them making out yesterday. He just doesn't care anymore As long as they don't fuck where he can see/hear it, he'll turn a blind eye

Kai: dexterous tails are underutilized in saiouma porn

Apollo: Kokichi would enjoy that a lot tbh

Me: Would he be demon-ish and leathery or furry like Kokichi? But tbh I just jump to tentacles when it comes to extra dexterous limbs Tail is good but they're more bunny prince and his bodyguard switch

Bunny: OKAY IM LISTENING

Me: https://www.tumblr.com/vespertin-y/730446928861626368?source=share you put the post on my dash

Bunny: I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THEM

Me: and you're going to be held responisble we have to cook now

Bunny: shuuichi deserves to be taken care of too,,,, a relaxation day BY ROYAL DECREE [knife emoji]

Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B5NkVqfIVo getting in the top Ouma mindset [LIZ - When I Rule the World] but also the post got me by thinking about devotion so I am not sure what direction to take it like I said, I love service-y, worship level devotion vibes, but in a service top Shu & demanding pillow princess Ko but with the whole vibe of this, I want to up this to 11, have a staright up dominant Kokichi? with the twist that I added the song for, it's a switch making a threat out of explaining what they'll do when they will "rule the world" (aka dominate)

Bunny: EITHER IS SO GOOD thinking about the first time shuuichi is healed enough for sex n kokichi taking care of him,,

Me: omg, like after the assassination attempt right? they go gentle for once nice and slow

Bunny: shuuichi goes to dominate him like usual and kokichi is just NO >:( LAY DOWN UR GETTING A MASSAGE YESSS…scar worship <333

Me: Kokichi can deal with a role reversal and pamper him a little, he earned it

Bunny: both of them did it just slowly devolves into lazy cuddlefucking,,

Me: Kokichi discovers that he actually enjoys being on the other side of servicing quite a lot, providing and caring tickles the same itch in his brain as the breeding kink bossy but in a "It's my turn to take care of you"

Bunny: it starts as just repayment but then he realizes he Likes it and it's nice to see shuuichi fall apart for once. he didn't realize he'd get so flustered sndsdsjbf local stoic guard melts into a puddle of goo over neck kisses

Me: (cw corny)"It's a ruler's responsibility to care for his people. Now let me give you your reward for serving the country" you know what would make this better? pregnancy (just kidding.. unless?)

Hina: How would you add that

Me: via cream pie?

Bunny: oh they're gonna be in so much trouble

Dra: Didn't they say Shu was afab dkfjd

Me: yeah, when it's Kokichi bottoming breeding is just a kink, when Shuichi is bottoming it's an option

Bunny: they wouldn't do it on PURPOSE at this point imo but. birth control fails sometimes! hinata trying to breach why kokichi's fave guard looks suspiciously round

Me: they keep it a secret?! not again what, is he matching with a horse? [inside joke, I might explain one day] just get quickly married so the child isn't born a bastard smh

Bunny: they're not SUPPOSED to get married class differences remember they'd have to fight for it

Me: love wins, the assassination was foiled, they can do what they want

Bunny: OHHHH yeah i forgot who hired the assassin oops SHOTGUN WEDDING TIME I GUESS shuuichi getting his suit tailored in an extremely suspicious way

Me: one day tho, one day the kid is going to do the math

Bunny: sorry ur parents are whores allister. it happens

Me: he's like: you said you wanted me [face holding back tears emoji] and one of them replies: planned and wanted is not the same

Bunny: does shuuichi stay as his guard after marriage?? he probably can't huh the other guards call him when they need someone to actually go get kokichi sndhbkshfg hello mr your majesty sir can you go get your husband he's bothering the kitchen again

Dra: Help they just mix words in there

Bunny: they're new okay theyre a lil nervous the other guards may be hazing them a little bit. it's fine

Me: Thinking of komahina reactions too They announce the engagement And Nagito is like "why so sudden?" Knowingly They say it's because of the assassination, their enemies are gone, something about realizing they could lose each other

Bunny: knowingly [sob emoji] i mean, that's not a lie

Dra: Yknow how the "I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing"

Bunny: butcha didn't BD and hinata just sighs

Dra: He did not and now they have a heir djfjd

Apollo: Kokichi 100% skips out on his duties to watch Shu train and then they make out and/or fuck in a hidden corner because Kokichi gets so turned on

Bunny: little bunny face peeking up over the training ground barriers [sob emoji] i need him to have a bunny nose. for my own mental health

Apollo: People quickly figure out he's there but never say anything because well he is the prince. Plus it makes Shu work harder to impress him

Bunny: kokichi, after seeing shuuichi decapitate a training dummy: CAN YOU DO THAT TO ME shuuichi's showing off now

Apollo: Kokichi's internally whispering Don't jerk off don't jerk off because he's gotten too horny

Bunny: just absolutely Dying seeing shuuichi's back muscles flex NSJDNSJFH

Apollo: It's a pain to his poor teachers because he skips out on his lessons to watch Shuichi then get fucked. They end up rescheduling to make sure he has the time free

Bunny: they've gotta reschedule around him being able to walk shuuichi's training opponent seeing bunny ears out of the corner of their eye and immediately knowing they're gonna Die

Apollo: They see him limping and sigh

Bunny: he fake cries until shuuichi agrees to carry him

Apollo: The idea of moving Kokichi's lessons to his room is quickly shut down because no one wants to go in there knowing the prince is either getting railed or is railing his boyfriend practically every night

Bunny: bold of them to think they can find a room where they haven;t fucked

Apollo: Exactly. They just like to pretend there's untouched areas Love how Kokichi's og disappearances were to escape his guard to go fuck around in town but now his disappearances are so he can fuck his guard

Bunny: he still disappears into town but it's partially so his guard will find him and fuck him

Apollo: "You can just ask" "I'm a bunny. I like the chase." "No you're just a whore." "Only for you babe."

Apollo: Once again thinking of Prince Kokichi and Guard Shuichi.

Imagine getting assigned to the Prince (nerve wracking enough) who's known to run away and piss off all his guards until they quit or do something that ends up getting them fired (or Kokichi might actually lies).

You're nervous, you chase him down when he escapes and all of a sudden, he starts trying to seduce you.

Is this a test? Is he trying to get you fired?

What are you meant to do? You accidently flirt back once and you get pulled aside by one of the Kings.

You think you're about to be fired. You failed somehow and now you're gonna be fired…But the King just says you're a good fit for his son and sends you on your way.

Like Kokichi is known to fuck with people and give them little 'tests' and has also flirted with his guards in the past so poor Shuichi is just screaming inside because he doesn't want to lose his job but Kokichi just wants to kiss him and maybe get fucked

Dra: Is that one of the reasons Shu was kinda cold/stoic at first djfjd

Apollo: Yeah. It's an important job to watch the Prince and others keep failing but god damn Kokichi is cute and flirting with him??? What's he meant to do?

He accidently calls him cute once and freaks out because Ko just bluescreens Kokichi meanwhile is annoyed because the hell is he meant to do? Just kiss him? Without consent? He tries to get it through Shu's thick skull by like feeling his arms and stuff and telling him how strong he is It's not working

He trips like a dumbass or something and Shuichi asks if he's okay only to get a I'd feel better with a kiss from you handsome and just doesn't know how to react He's trying his best and it's just not working

springbug: stoic/quiet guy getting flustered by little shit sunshine is my favorite trope and reading this au makes my heart happy

Me: I was thinking about them too, but the time period around when Allister is born, people in the castle start thinking it was a good thing, Kokichi seems to have mellowed out, became responsible and careful, but after a few months the fresh-baby phase that lowers horny hormones ends and the newfound mutuality of protectiveness saiou have now turns from a blessing to a boost effect on the nightmare that they returned to being they thought Kokichi was bad when all he thought about was getting fucked

he just enters a phase when he's so over-protective it's downright possessive, Shuichi has to make him calm down, tone it down, it was nice getting a little spoilt, but he can take care of himself he just got carried away with the whole thing, but Shuichi put his foot down and put Kokichi back in his place

it was escalating for a while tho, he was letting him at first, thinking that Kokichi can just get that anxious energy out, but he was only getting more intense about it, nearly losing Shuichi, and then the pregnancy, and then planning a wedding, and then birth (he was holding Shuichi's hand through it, and it's a shock he hasn't fainted, he was horrified), and it sinking in that they're parents, taking more responsibility, he just sinks really deep into the Protecting & Caring mindset, it's hard for him to let Shuichi do something on his own without hovering

and it gets bad enough for Shuichi to stop it at that point, because sex is a huge outlet for this & Kokichi latched onto that right away, but in their sex life this far Shuichi has been mostly dominant so he gets tired of this pretty quickly he doesn't mind Kokichi being clingy but being treated like glass in bed is where he draws the line

Ves: kokichi being anxiously overprotective is Good Stuff this saiou r just constantly bullying the other into selfcare huh kokichi bullied Too Hard and had to be bullied himself kokichi almost fainting during the birth [sob emoji] he was more scared than shuuichi fr

[days later] Me: art corner reminded me of the bunny prince au because Shuichi's easy temporary transitions with potions, and Kokichi's breeding kink bc he's a hybrid, and the genuine confusion just got me like Shuichi believed they could both be pregnant, and you know what? I want to believe too [it was a joke comic, Kokichi tried to tell Shuichi he's pregnant, and Shuichi went "I'm pregnant?"] tired: getting pregnant at the same time as your friend so the kids will become friends too wired: getting pregnant at the same time as your husband so you're experiencing everything together something something equal distribution of responsibilities in a relationship this is after Allister and their shotgun wedding and the whole mess is sorted out, they healed from the assassination attempt Shallot and Scallion time they talked about wanting a second kid & Kokichi maybe half-joked about it being his turn (he is into the idea. but doing it for real is… intimidating), so they have more in-depth conversation about pregnancy & when Shuichi talks about it, he doesn't omit how overbearing Kokichi became (he needs to keep on reminding him, it won't happen again) and basically after going over how different their experience & perspective on that time is brings them to the conclusion that it'd be best for them to experience it together this time, instead of just switching roles

Bunny: god help the castle servants there's Two Of Them now

Me: most of them are veterans atp, but imagine being new and not expecting anything like this on your new job cleaning the castle they're def more careful about privacy than when they were younger tho, cause Allister is running around

Bunny: how old is allister?

Me: a toddler ig? circa 3-4?

Bunny: and is it old enough to understand his dads' feet are too swollen to play with him - OH NO ye that's gonna result in some growing pains poor kiddo

Me: I just had him in mind little enough not to be too used to being a single child, just big enough to be running and not crawling so older than that is a no, bc 6yo is a mental only child apparently, and I want to avoid giving kid the angst about it as widely as possible

Bunny: i was two when my first brother was born and i asked my parents to send him back but allister's sweet, i think he'd get over the jealousy bump fast enough he's the type of kid to spend a really long time peering over the edge of the crib i think hes curious

Me: yeah, he's just ["many thought, head full" creature reaction image] his dads both think "he has it after me" he's looking with those big eyes it's a family trait (it's autism)

Bunny: they show him how to hold a bottle and he feels like it's Magic

Me: wait I just had the best idea I had in weeks the babies are going to inherit some of Kokichi's bunny traits

Bunny: INCREDIBLE BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL SHOWSTOPPING AMAZING- TINY ITTY BITTY BUNNY BABIES. IM GONNA EXPLODE AND DIE they're gonna be fucking terrors they can get away with anything-

Dra: Poor palace workers,, Saiou's pda was already horrible for them and now there are more of them

Bunny: god bless the kitchen workers

Dra: Are the kids picky [sob emoji]

Bunny: i imagine they're obligate vegetarians like their dad, so kinda - but i meant they're gonna be raiding the kitchen constantly do yall remember the triplets from brave

Beez: instead of bears theyre bnnuys

Dra: They get byunnier when given greens/silly

Apollo: Thinking again of Kings Hajime and Nagito being disappointed because instead of focusing on his lessons, their stupid bunny son is too busy fucking his personal guard.

Shuichi just feels awkward because yeah they're dating and all but please babe I think your dad is ready to explode because you skipped a math exam to suck my dick

Kokichi like always, does not care

springbug: nagito just sighs and tells them to be safe meanwhile hajime is staring off into space, questioning his entire existence

Apollo: He adopted this kid, hired his gremlin friends, finally found a guard said adopted brat hasn't scared off and that's because he wants to get into his pants and actually managed to succeed in that goal I mean…He is a rabbit hybrid though so they can't really blame him for wanting to fuck his guard a lot…That's the only reason. It's pure instincts. Totally nothing else

Bunny: when they realize shuuichi is the in, kokichi is DOOMED they just have to mention the exam being important and shuuichi will give kokichi the Eyes hes the chink in the armor that is kokichi being a shithead Apollo: Basically he's the ticket to get Kokichi to actually do shit because of how whipped the prince is His dads? Kokichi whines and complains, dragging his feet to do the task Shuichi? Well, he might whine and stuff but with a look (and possibly like a finger snap or something) he's off to do it

Bunny: shuuichi holds both carrot and stick tremble before his power Flaire: Oh Shuichi has a 'carrot' and 'stick' alright Bunny: kokichi does enjoy the rewards of getting good scores i mean he is trans here so he probably does have multiple dicks laying around, actually… kokichi tries to name them shuuichi wants to die Flaire: Kokichi does name them The only question is, is one colored like a carrot and is it Kokichi's favorite? Bunny: YES he pretends to be offended at first won't use it he is genuinely a little mad when it turns out to be Very Good Flaire: He gets back at Shuichi by incredibly Playing It Up once he gets over it and making Shuichi the embarrassed and cringing one Bunny: the dirty talk is actually fucking insufferable shuuichi wants to throw the thing out a window after a while Flaire: …but it is a little bit hot And Kokichi's clearly having a great time So Shuichi can… tolerate it

Me: anyway, the side of Kokichi being distracted by Shuichi was covered before, yeah, he ogles him training, whatever but what about the side of Kokichi being a brat testing Shuichi's limits in the early days, he's figuring out what can he still get away with and how exactly he can get away with it, now that he knows Shuichi can chase him down He Is Going To Find Those Buttons And He Will Push Them Can he distract Shuichi by acting sexy? Can he bribe him? Can he get the punishment that's actually a treat to him if he plays his cards right? Apollo: He messes with Shuichi's room hoping to get punished for not only breaking in but for messing with his stuff springbug: he can and he will Me: I think it takes at most a few weeks for Shuichi to figure out the punishment thing and start punishing him by blueballing him instead, telling him that he has to earn a reward, but he remains the master of being distracting as for bribery… Sometimes Shuichi is willing to be bribed, it doesn't hurt, he can entertain him, but other times it only gets him in more trouble, because if it's serious Shuichi is going to be pissed off

can't solve all his problems by being submissive and breedable, sometimes has to do his job [pensive emoji]

Also. The very beginning. When Kokichi was teasing and hinting. Back when Shuichi was nervous about the job. Everything to me. Yeah, he can chase him down and put him in his place, but why can't he get in the place where he should be, between Kokichi's legs? Why so shy, mr. bodyguard? I just think. The thing where he points a finger at Shuichi's chest and runs it in a little pattern while flirting, is that anything? Bunny: it is not anything it is Everything Me: Lots of cringe attention grabs like bending over & various stretching while Shuichi is looking And you know Ouma's flirting is corny af Flaire: It sure is, Source: I can write it Me: full of puns, he's making insinuations about how Shuichi should be under him because of status Flaire: Oh god Shuichi thinks Kokichi is just insulting him at first doesn't he Me: sure, why not Flaire: Kokichi says one(1) thing about Shuichi being beneath him and Shuichi immediately internalizes it as proof Me: but can't have this Saihara be too dense, he's already been catching on the other hints Kokichi's been giving, but the bad flirting throws him off for a bit, because it slots into reaffirming the worries he had, seeing it as the reason why he shouldn't pursue anything with Kokichi so Kokichi shot himself in the knee with this but it's okay, Nagito's "accidental" meddling will fix it, it's just a small comment from him, but being told he's good for Kokichi means a lot to shu he totally thought they were already together, he didn't mean to meddle, he would never Bunny: of course not!! Apollo: He would never meddle in the love life of the weird gremlin he's grown attached to!

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Update on me

Apparently being a danger to myself and slightly towards others isn't a silly goofy thing. The worst part about being suicidal is eventually people start taking you VERY seriously 😭 I'm not saying they shouldn't but God damn. Y'all, I got discharged from my IOP. They're not equipped to deal with my case and they're reccomending me inpatient which I'm kind of on the fence on.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Since I last posted, I almost had the cops called on me for a wellness check because my friend was frantic over what I was saying and said he thought I should be hospitalized and he couldn't go to bed unless I assured him I'd be safe. I decided to write a letter to my mom that I ultimately sent in a text. She responded very well. Better than I could have hoped. So things were going well until today. Today I had therapy and I was more honest than ever and she was like "you can't continue the IOP program with these thoughts. You're saying extremely concerning stuff. You need a higher level of care" and EVERYONE who means anything to me has been saying that I need to be hospitalized. I'm kinda pissed about it. I have a job and I have school. I can't just disappear for a month but I don't think there are any other options. I was considering in person therapy but I think that therapist would be in the same boat. If I were to do inpatient it'd have to be at the end of December. It doesn't seem like anything else is helping tbh. I am absolutely a danger to myself and apparently nobody finds that very funny 😭