#Connie Dot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

since64bce · 2 months ago

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Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS

I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw

CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here) A/N: pls don't report me.

CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)

-I have to group them together Im sorry

-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠

-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth

-Connies fam is the same.

-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.

-BAsically con man🧍‍♂️ and sack nut🧍‍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫

-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk

-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽‍🦲.

-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.

-Actually trump don't want to see them.

-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀

-These children aren't normal

-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw

Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)

-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness

-Unproblematic chad😌

-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we

-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative

-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild

-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️‍🔥💪

-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋

-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman

-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫

-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby

-casual Trump enjoyer

Erwin👱‍♂️ (Facebook warrior)

-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.

-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋

-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍‍♂️💀💀

-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷‍♀️

-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵

-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg

-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮‍💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard

-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either

There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷‍♀️

-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌

-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍‍♂️

-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh

-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊

-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍‍♂️

Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)

-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒

-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫

-Not enough valour for him ig

-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰

-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙

-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮‍💨

-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.

-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅

-And country music of course.

-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠

-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor

-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃

Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)

-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕

-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰

-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him

-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄

-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)

-he used to b part of a terrorist group.

-☠️

-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.

-AND this was before he met God mkay.

-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.

-Its the trauma man.

-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊

-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐

-Immigration.

-He wants em' all deported

-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸🤠🍟🍔

-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.

-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗

(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)

Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)

-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️

-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎

-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻

-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones

-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰

-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.

-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩

-Our modest queen🫡

-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪

-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl

-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days

-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂

PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)

-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹

-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy

-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽‍🦲👨🏽‍🦲

-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting

-Hes too powerful

-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad

-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙‍♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷‍♀️

-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨

-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce

-Now he only gets invited to christmas

-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.

-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏

-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak

Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)

-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.

-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑‍🌾

-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑‍🌾

-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.

-And andrew tate of course👨🏽‍🦲

-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away

-"Wats ur body count???"

-and hes very patriotic too:

-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys

-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺

A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.

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levi501ackerman · 5 months ago

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Steel Heart

Hange x Reader Chapter Index, Masterlist AO3

Summary: The Royal King's Guard will lay down their lives and dedicate their hearts to return you unharmed to Mitras Castle where you will marry and become Queen. The Marelyan Cult who believe you are the key to perform their ritual will do anything to obtain your body and unlock their most powerful weapon. You just want to win the heart of a certain Knight. Posted: 7/1/24

Chapter 1: The First Knight

A resounding boom and piercing shrieks interrupted your dreams. Warm light illuminated your dark room. There were muffled cries heard from behind the closed, glass window. Your heart began to race and you breathed heavily under your blanket, petrified from hearing the destruction outside. Another boom and you hesitantly rose from the bed. Each shaky step toward the window was suffused by anticipation. Though it was night, the buildings on fire illuminated bright light, blinding your vision. Your mouth was agape noticing a dead body on the street you had walked down many times.

The door to your room slammed against the wall and you yelped at the sudden bang. In the doorway was the safest sight—tension released from your shoulders when you saw Fairy Godmother Christa.

“Y/N! Get away from the window!” Christa stormed in and pulled you by the wrist away from the devastating sight.

“What’s happening to our home?!” You burst into tears and another boom followed by a cascade of light appeared from outside. An unfamiliar expression plastered on Fairy Godmother Christa’s face. She aggressively brought her face an inch to your tear-stained one and placed her cold hands on your damp cheeks.

“LISTEN, Y/N!” Her raised voice expected your attention. “You are leaving Shiganshina, right now!” Fairy Godmother Christa took a step back and frantically began searching your closet. She was muttering uninterruptible words to herself. You sniffed and watched as she couldn’t find what she was looking for in your closet.

“What’s happening?!” Your plea went unheard. Christa tossed a hooded cloak toward you.

“Keep the hood on at all times and get your boots on. NOW!” You whimpered as you placed them on. The cottage shook as a blaring explosion landed outside your home. An apprehensive knot curled in your stomach as it felt like whoever was hurting your town, was drawing closer toward your cottage. Ready to hurt you next. Christa hastily escorted you downstairs. You reached the bottom floor, and through a cracked window you saw people screaming and running north. A flash of hot light in the distance cast a silhouette of the neighbor’s homes, shadowed by the explosion.

In the kitchen, Fairy Godmother Ymir was dashing around and stuffing a cloth bag of sorts. Gathering food for an assumed departure.

“I think they’re getting closer . . .” Your voice cracked and you rubbed your eyes. Trembling under the thought that any second your home would explode.

The front door burst open, you screamed falling to the ground, the tall silhouette took up the space of the doorway. You held up your hand and crawled back, whimpering and defeated. Your heart was jumping out of your chest as you accepted your death. The big man walked into the cottage with the sound of clanking metal with each heavy step, approaching your cowering form. Fairy Godmother Christa knelt beside you and attempted to pull you up. You noticed the shiny and large sword at the man’s waist—the weapon you’d be murdered with. Christa shushed you and held you.

“Please stay level-headed, you need to listen.” She left you and moved without a thought of the silver man. He knelt to one knee, placed his right fist over his heart, and lowered his head.

“Your Highness. Sir Miche Zacharius, a Knight of the Royal King’s Guard at your service.” He said with an assertive tone and then he made eye contact with your mixed expression face. He held out a soft hand toward you.

“Y/N, Sir Zacharius will be one of many to escort you to Mitras Castle.” You glanced at Christa, then Sir Zacharius, and lastly his offering hand. You forced yourself to take his hand. Noticing his hand was large and felt rough as he helped you up. He was tall and muscular, larger than any man you’ve seen. You couldn’t defend yourself if he wanted to hurt you.

“This should be enough.” Fairy Godmother Ymir appeared beside you three and thrust the cloth bag into your hand. “There’s bread, oranges, capsules of butter for energy during the long journey, and anything else that would travel well.” She said, then Mitras Castle crossed your mind. The large castle you have heard from stories your Fairy Godmothers told you before bed. You looked between the beautiful women who raised you and a sense of dread grew.

“What’s going on?” You choked out. Ymir’s hand reached for your hood and placed it back over your head. Only realizing it fell off when you were cowering on the ground.

“We love you so much, Y/N. We see you as our own daughter . . . and right now you need to trust Sir Zacharius like you fully trust us.” Christa said and you looked at Sir Zacharius’ tough face. You stepped in between him and your Fairy Godmothers, hiding your suspicious expression from him. “You are going to leave with him and he will protect you—”

“YOU’RE COMING WITH RIGHT?”

“We’re not.” Christ placed a kiss on your cheek and though you felt her soothing aura, she looked frightened like yourself. “We are going to see you in a while, please, stay with Sir Zacharius and do what he tells you. Do not question him.”

“This is stupid! Why can’t you come with—” A sudden flare of pain and pressure was smacked on your face. You held your cheek and Fairy Godmother Christa’s hand was held in the air across her body. You haven’t been disciplined in a while. A wave of embarrassment washed over your chest and a lump formed in your throat as you realized Sir Zacharius witnessed you being smacked.

“Be polite, we have a guest in our home!”

“Y/N, we love you and we can not leave right now. Sir Zacharius will protect you. Shiganshina is being attacked. Your questions will be answered, once you are safe.” Ymir held your shoulders. “It has been an honor raising you, you must return to Mitras Castle and become Queen.” She knelt, followed by Christa and Sir Zacharius kneeling and saluting you.

When the front door of your home opened, the screaming filled your ears. You began to panic just like the people running down the streets in front of you were. You clutched the cloth bag Fairy Godmother Ymir packed and you realized that was what you had left of them. Sir Zacharius held your arm and then you followed him through the streets. A mix of cold midnight air and thick warmth from fire and terror was flurrying. Wind gushed by from terrified people running past you which caused your hood to fall. Sir Zacharius pulled you with his strength, you looked over your shoulder at your cottage, only to have people blocking the final glance of your home. An explosion set off and you ducked your head closer toward Sir Zacharius, trying to hide from the danger behind you. New tears formed in your eyes as your home was being destroyed.

Your lungs were pinching as you were following Sir Zacharius’ dominant pace. You looked at his face, not looking tired or out of breath. You two dodged people running toward you and the inner gate seemed so far. You felt defeated and worried that your stamina would not be able to keep up.

You and Sir Zacharius grunted as a person ran into him. With unforeseen strength you didn’t expect, he pushed the person out of the way with one arm. The man flew to the side, dazed that he ran into the knight and then kept running.

Sir Zacharius guided you through the mob, not letting anyone touch you. As you both ran he was holding and shielding you from the crowd. You noticed his brooding strength as he shoved past the thick crowd, growing thicker as you reached the inner gate.

Knights at the inner gate were shouting orders at citizens trying to evacuate. Overstimulation set in as there was the weight of people being pushed into you, the cries of fearful citizens, and the orders from the knights demanding obedience.

Sir Zacharius walked past with such dominance as if all the panicked people were moving aside for him. He was a force to be reckoned with and you were being guided by him. The uncertain feeling you had in him dwindled. The inner gate was becoming closer and closer. Hope stemmed as it seemed you were getting closer to safety and possibly away from the crowd. You followed Sir Zacharius toward a group of knights. One hostile knight approached you with a drawn sword. Fearing you would lose Sir Zacharius, you kept looking at his sword waiting for him to withdraw his. The two of you went onward toward the knight and he still wouldn’t draw his sword.

“No cutting. You’ll both need papers in order to—” You screamed as you watched Sir Zacharius ram his head into the other knight’s. The knight fell to the ground out cold. Sir Zacharius remained onward. Unfazed. Three more knights came forward drawing their swords, captivating the panicked crowd as a fight was about to break out. Sir Zacharius pushed you away from him and you gripped onto your clothed bag seeking comfort. You didn’t take your eyes off your knight even though people were pushing past you. One of the three knights charged and Sir Zacharius swung his sword parrying the other knight’s attack. You didn’t even notice Sir Zacharius draw his sword. Suddenly, the two other knights charged their offense as Sir Zacharius at the last moment blocked their swords with a clang!

“SIR!” You screamed and he kicked a knight to the ground. Then Sir Zacharius turned and swung his sword so quickly that the sword flung out of the other knight’s hand. The first knight came back and swung close to his face. It dawned on you how close you were to losing your knight. “STOP PLEASE!”

“ENOUGH!!!!” A loud voice bellowed from the inner gate, it made the crowd still for a moment. The voice carried through the crowd. The knight with the sword inches from Sir Zacharius' face—only being held off by Sir Zacharius’ sword—backed off. Relief washed over you and then you turned to the knight everyone was submitting their gaze to. A bald man with a full mustache surveyed the site before him. His eyes landed on you and you crumbled, not knowing to fear or respect him. His demand for attention nearly made the burning city behind you almost forgettable.

As the knights in charge of the evacuation started shouting instructed orders, Sir Zacharius grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him. You clung to him once again, relieved he was able to protect you. He guided you closer to the bald man who didn’t lift his gaze from you. Your eyebrows furrowed in fear or perhaps curiosity as to why he was eyeing you. When the distance was closed between you, Sir Zacharius saluted the bald man.

“Knight Commander, Pyxis.” He said and you remained clung to Sir Zacharius’ side. The bald man smiled with crows feet around his eyes, accentuating a friendly demeanor. He saluted his fist over his heart.

“Dedicate your Heart . . ." He replied to Sir Zacharius. "Your Highness, it is an honor to meet you, Knight Commander Dot Pyxis. Forgive me for not kneeling to greet your Highness, however, it is an act to conceal your identity.” You looked at Sir Zacharius who continued to hold a strong salute for Knight Commander Pyxis.

“T-Thank you, Knight Commander,” you felt unsure how to greet him. You’ll definitely have to get used to the utmost respect people gave you upon meeting them.

“Sir Zacharius,” Knight Commander Pyxis greeted him. They both relaxed and then the commander motioned you and Sir Zacharius to follow him. You passed the group of knights and followed the commander toward a door along the gate. You noticed the air began to feel cooler once away from the crowd and the burning city of Shiganshina. For the first time since waking up, you began to feel calmer. Your feet were hurting and you noticed how tired you were.

After a while through the intricate passage through the wall, Knight Commander Dot Pyxis opened a door to a quiet outside. The three of you stepped onto the grass that crunched under your feet. In the distance was faint booming. You looked along the wall to see in the far distance people were entering from the inner gate. You were astonished at the distance you were from everyone else. The passageway didn’t feel like it would bring you lengths away from the inner gate.

“Princess Y/N, it was an honor to escort you safely. Our future Queen.” You looked back over to see Knight Commander Pyxis saluting you with what he described as properly kneeling. Sir Zacharius knelt and saluted you as well.

“Oh . . . thank you for leading us here, sir.” The two rose from their formal salute. The wind blew, sending a shiver over your chest and arms. You realized how thin your nightgown was and the cloak wasn’t meant for long periods of cold weather.

“Knight Commander Pyxis, we are grateful for your guidance,” Sir Zacharius said.

“Yes! Thank you Knight Commander Pyxis so much for leading us away from the attack.” You added.

“It was an honor to escort our future Queen. Queen Y/N.” He chuckled more to himself. With a final salute, Sir Zacharius and you headed north in the dark night.

There was silence and you no longer felt like you needed to be attached to Sir Zacharius’ side. The sky was lit by stars and crickets were heard every so often. Dead bodies, burning homes, leaving your Fairy Godmothers behind to an uncertain fate, it all started to settle in. You started to cry softly. The attack, the sights of the streets, and panicked people from your home started flashing in your mind.

“Sir Zacharius?” He looked at you and the moonlight illuminated his curious expression. “Why was Shiganshina being burned down?” You sobbed. “Do you know what’s going to happen to Fairy Godmother Ymir and Christa? How am I a Princess?” He turned to stand in front of you, you looked up at him. His tall, burly demeanor no longer looked aggressive, but rather protective. He let out a breath.

“Princess, you must be exhausted,” He said in a quiet voice. “Once we reach that tree line over there we’ll be able to rest and then tomorrow I can answer all your questions.” You nodded at him. The both of you began treading toward the forest. Sir Zacharius really was someone who was going to keep you safe. A tinge of guilt crossed your heart. You regretted ever doubting him.

You remembered your cloth bag and rummaged through to see what Fairy Godmother Ymir packed for you. There was a loaf of bread, some oranges, apples, capsules of butter, and a leather water container. The loaf sounded appetizing and you ripped off a good chunk.

“Sir Zacharius?” You stepped in front of his path. “Thank you for keeping me safe while in the city. To show you my gratitude, I’d like to offer you this bread. A-And I promise when I have something more than this bread to give, I will. I swear, sir.” He stared at your hopeful eyes then glanced at the bread. He awkwardly took it from your hands.

“I appreciate your gift, your Highness,” He said sincerely and you smiled as he ate the whole thing.

next chapter: Chapter 2: Forced Idling

Chapter Index, Masterlist

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