#Compuslory Heterosexuality

[candied-cae]

Am I Allowed...?

Chapter 1/1 - - - Read it on AO3

Word Count : 1,717

Summary : While on the road Jaskier sings joyfully a song about a young love, but when he uses male pronouns Geralt starts a tense and confusing conversation. "Wait… So you… liked this guy?”

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Geralt was walking down the beaten path between Jaskier and Roach. They were leaving Timera and headed west towards Cidaris, rumors of some vile beast of the night were circulating and it seemed just the right place to go. While Geralt was focused on making quick time of the travel and making it to some good camping ground by the time it got late, Jaskier was singing merrily. It was some story he’d never heard before, but the bard always seemed to be singing and despite all the songs Jaskier has written about the witcher, he still had some of his own that he let out in his own time. As much as Geralt was trying not to listen, the bard’s lyrics would seem to make their way into his ears.

“Boyhood love, so innocent, so sweet” Jaskier mused.

The Witcher’s attempts at ignoring the bard weren’t so effective when the night air seemed so silent, there was nothing else to put his mind to besides Yennefer, and he didn’t particularly want to think of her right now considering the fight they’d had only weeks prior. So he listened. What Geralt was begrudgingly following in the song, was that Jaskier was recounting one of his first flames from long ago. Jaskier met this girl at some noble party when they were both young and spent an enjoyable evening together. But considering that the bard hadn’t spent ages while they were traveling speaking at length about the girl, they likely never met again, with this song as the only testament to their engagement.

Jaskier went on with his tune singing into the midnight air like the moon was the only audience he desired.

“We danced through the night and spoke until morning dawned,

Though my time with you was brief, I had grown fond

Unfortunately, not all things can last

But I’ll hold onto these memories from so far in the past.

I warn all ye listeners, let not your love out of sight,

For he was beautiful, with those blue eyes glittering in the moonlight…

And-”

“You mean she.” Geralt corrected him.

The bard stopped singing and strumming his lute, in his pause he cast his eyes toward the witcher and asked simply,“ Hm?”

“You meant she. It’s not often you misspeak, but you said “He was beautiful” and you meant to say ‘she’.” Geralt explained plainly without tossing a glance towards Jaskier.

“As pleasantly surprised I am that you’ve been listening to my ballad with ever so baited attention, clinging on to my every word, like if I didn’t finish my tale you’d never be able to move on from-” Jaskier spoke, drama dripping in his voice.

Geralt replied with an annoyed groan, rolling his eyes away from the incessant bard.

“You’d be wrong, however.” Jaskier answered, he pulled the case for his lute off his back and packed up the instrument, keeping up with Geralt’s always impressive strides while wistfully remembering his youth,“ This song was in truth written when I was very young and it’s recounting a night I spent in the company of Duke Eurvindyn of Mayena. I was maybe 13 or so when we met, and the evening included nothing more than drinks and intelligent conversation. But it was fun to entertain the imagination of a wily young lad when I was such a young rapscallion. Likely nothing would’ve come of it had we even tried to-”

Geralt cut Jaskier off and posed a new question,“ Wait… So you… liked this guy?”

“I did. He was beautiful, kind, and charming, he had humor and wit, and though he ended up marrying a boring dolt for a wife, I’m sure he still finds time to be amusing like he was ba -”

Geralt’s eyebrows began to knot “You... You liked this guy and-”

“And what of it Geralt? Is it a problem for you that I did?” Jaskier released a sigh, slinging his lute back onto his back and looking up towards the moon that was glowing overhead.

“I wouldn’t call it a problem.”

“Well what would you call it then? He’s certainly not perfect I will admit, but in my defense, I was 13 and so was he. We were two bored noble boys who found each other far more interesting than the party we were in attendance of. But since then I’ve had my fair share of experiences and just because you haven’t watched me wrap a man around my pinky and lay him for the night, don’t assume I can’t do it or haven't done it. In my many years I’ve enjoyed a plethora of involvements and relations. All of which I’m quite proud of and was happy to participate in.” Jaskier was becoming worked up. While he and Geralt had never explicitly had the conversation, he had assumed that Geralt understood his interests in both male and female relationships. And he certainly didn’t expect the Witcher to be so against them.

“I’m just a bit lost on the- you’re both men.” Geralt’s pace began to slow and he looked at Jaskier while he questioned him, searching for answers.

“Yes, Geralt!” Jaskier fumed,“ I like to drink a few ales with a fellow and then ask him to join me up stairs. I enjoy a feminine guy to prace around a ballroom with. I like a big, strong man to enjoy long walks on the beach with. And I like them just as much as many girls do. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a personal preference and I don’t understand why you’re having such a difficult time dealing with it!”

“‘But it’s just- damned- how is it that…” Geralt was uncharacteristically stammering, but that didn’t dissuade Jaskier from lecturing the witcher.

“The Continent is growing, Geralt, and the people on it are growing too. While you may be a tired old man afraid of change, people these days are changing. It’s beautiful the way things are progressing and while it’s laborious to keep up with it, your best interest would really be to become a bit more flexible and understanding on these sorts of things.”

“But… you could like guys and-”

“Yes, yes Geralt, I can and do like guys. I understand it’s a bit of a shock, but please, do take a minute to calm down and process it” Jaskier finished, keeping his eyes forward and picking up his pace.

Geralt stopped in his tracks altogether, his eyes trained on the path under his feet before letting out little more than a whisper.

“Hm?” Jaskier called back as he kept moving forward.

“... could like guys?” Geralt let out a bit louder this time.

“What was that?” Jaskier flippantly yelled over his shoulder to the witcher.

“ I could like guys…?” Geralt finally asked loud enough to be heard. His fists were balled at his side and his shoulders were stiffened.

Jaskier’s eyes widened and he turned around to face his friend “Geralt…” he quietly let out.

The witcher bit his bottom lip and felt nerves bumbling around in his belly. He searched for the words he needed but found them escaping his grasp. All these ideas were new to him, thoughts he’d never even considered exploring before this night. He didn’t like it. Geralt didn’t like not having a reign on his emotions, he didn’t like being unsure, he didn’t like being confused or nervous. He didn’t like the mess that this conversation was making of his head and everything he knew before.

Jaskier took a step back towards Geralt. Studying everything he could about his old friend, but suddenly he seemed like a stranger. Geralt didn’t freeze up like this, he’d never spoken so unassured like this.

Geralt’s heart felt to speed and his breaths were becoming hitched in his throat. The nerves continued to build and then Roach gave Geralt a bump to his shoulder. He gave her a scowl before looking down at the bard. After another moment of silence he gained just a bit of fortitude.

“I just mean, I’ve heard of men and I’ve met some men, who did in fact like guys, but it just- It always seemed so removed. Like they weren’t really there and maybe it wasn’t really real. Like background characters in a story it didn’t seem important or applicable. It felt so far away from me that I just- But if you do , and I know you’re real, then it must be a real thing. And that makes it an option, but I- I- I just didn’t realize that I could- Icould like guys.”

Jaskier closed the distance he had put between him and his friend. Geralt wasn’t being judgmental or rude, he was just… scared. He put a hand on Geralt’s shoulder.

“Of course you can, Geralt. You can like anyone you want. I’m sorry I didn’t realize-”

Geralt’s breathing quickened, let go of Roach’s reins, and seemed to sink a bit into his knees. He racked his gloved hands into his hair while his wide golden eyes seemed to glow in the dark.

With a shaken voice he looks into Jaskier’s eyes while tears rim his own and asks,“ So… it doesn’t have to be Yennefer? Or Triss? It didn’t have to be Renfri? I could… I could like a man. And it’d be okay? It would- break things ?”

Jaskier bends down to Geralt level and takes the witcher’s hands from his white hair, placing them over Geralt’s heart,“ The world surely won’t collapse, cities won’t crumble, and people won’t die if you like men.”

“So I could… fall in love with a man? And live a life with him , not a woman.” Geralt pled while a few tears spill over his cheeks before he rubs them away furiously.

“Provided that he loves you too and wants to spend that time with you, then of course you can.” Jaskier jokes, giving Geralt a small nudge on his shoulder to which he lets out a dry chuckle.

“I could be happy with a man, and it’d be okay?”

“It’d all be perfectly okay.”

“I could like men and it’d really be okay?”

“Of course”

Geralt closed his eyes and gulped down more of his nerves before looking back into his bard’s eyes and asking,“ I could like you? ”

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My Other Works ❤

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[scienceandstorytelling]

The narrator of "Haul Away Joe," presumably Joe himself, comments that his mother scolded him for not kissing girls when he was young, complains about the two women he's dated, muses that King Louis "spoiled his constitution" when he got his head cut off, and sadly remarks that "storm clouds are gathering." In the chorus, often sung by a group, he is told that "we'll haul away together" and urged to "haul for better weather." It can be deduced that Joe is gay and is being urged to join an all-male sailing crew to escape the compuslory heterosexuality of typical life on land and find romance among his crew mates at sea. In this essay I will

[jennyboom21]

It’s not compulsory heterosexuality, it’s Taylor having boyfriend after boyfriend and the one time it was suggested she has a girlfriend she freaked out. She presents as a straight woman and that’s how 95% of her fans see her . That’s what SHE shows .

It is compuslory heterosexuality. The “one” time it was suggested that Taylor had a gf, Dianna handled it. When it happened again in April, they broke up, but reconciled (later that fall).

Taylor presents herself as a straight woman because she catered to country western fans. She became emboldened with RED (the gay....). She essentially outted herself with 1989, especially with the deluxe lyrics.

[earthmoonlotus]

speaking as a lesbian who struggled for a long time with it, and knows other lesbians who struggled with it, comphet is DEFINITELY a thing outside of TERFs and so forth. Trans women are women, trans lesbians are lesbians, that doesn't mean that lesbians (cis or trans) haven't felt like they were SUPPOSED to feel attraction to men and projected it onto completely unobtainable targets like fictional people or celebrities. I just. Yeah. Comphet's a thing outside of TERF usage of it.

The phenomenon it’s used to describe in the modern context outside of TERF circles is definitely a real phenomenon that’s not just experienced by TERFs. But the term itself was coined by a TERF named Adrienne Rich who coined it partly to explain away bisexuality, among other things that are different from the phenomenon we’re talking about. (Adrienne Rich also helped Janice Raymond with her infamous book that essentially started the TERF movement, too. :/ )

Like, I don’t wanna stop talking about the phenomenon. It’s an awful and important thing to talk about. It’s something I strugged with for years. I just think it would be better to use a different term to describe it, since the term “compuslory heterosexuality” was coined by a TERF, for purposes that aren’t congruent to the phenomenon we’re using it to describe. This is something multiple trans women have talked about, which I have since listened to. (I used to use the term before learning about its origin and seeing trans women criticize it and suggest alternatives.)

I’m not saying the phenomenon - where lesbians spend years trying to convince themselves they like men - isn’t a thing; it very much is, and it’s something I’ve experienced and think is important to talk about. But there are other terms, like “internalized heteronormativity” and “coercive heteronormativity”, that can explain it better and don’t have messed up origins like “comphet” does.

Here’s some further reading if you’re interested

[marley-manson]

so i’m rly rly rly craving a genre show with a gay main character who never has hetero sex and/or romance, at least not on screen

and on the one hand i’m feeling kind of ungrateful bc having main characters in surprise same sex romances in general is new and wonderful and i die of happiness every time

but on the other hand my god out of all the genre shows i can think of with same sex romances (featuring central main first-or-second-billed characters, not like the token gay bff or supporting ensemble cast) i only know of one (1) where we don’t see either character in a het romance/sexual encounter, and that’s yuri on ice. and i think it’s partly why yuri on ice was so damn refreshing and enjoyable ngl

like i say this as a bi but it’s not just same sex romance i’m craving, it’s also an absence of heterosexuality on the way there, and it’s bumming me out how rare that is. like i want a gay genre show.

i think this is also partially due to fatigue from spending most of my life hc characters as bi or gay-with-past-compuslory-het because that’s what you have to do when there’s no canon gay and like damn i just want some characters totally free from het yk? ofc there’s nothing wrong with bi characters or gay characters who had past het romances before coming out to themselves but let’s balance it out a bit plz

[lesbian-ed]

Concerning comp het

Hi! 

After a short discussion concerning compulsory heterosexuality today I decided to write this post. We get tons and tons of questions from you guys about being confused/unsure about your sexual orientation. While we really do want to help you any way we can, we’re starting to feel like we keep repeating ourselves to you; There’s only so many things to say about the same topic. 

So, because of that we urge you to please go through our compuslory heterosexuality tag before you send us a question about it. Chances are that you will find a good answer from us exisiting in the tag already. Most the time when we answer these questions we refer you guys to the tag anyway. 

If you still do have questions after reading through the tag, we will of course be here to answer them for you. But please try and keep them specific and straight to the point, since more open and general questions are more difficult to answer for us. 

/ Mod W 💜

[crjdedicated]

someone: i think this 14 year old growing up in the 90s is a lesbian suffering from compuslory heterosexuality

someone else: this is bi erasure because she said she liked a boy that one time so she’s canonically bi

[taejimin]

Is a lesbian a woman who only experiences attraction to other women?

well yeah but also attraction is extremely nuanced and compuslory heterosexuality is a thing that exists so its rly fucking difficult to separate sometimes so id also add that its a woman who has same gendered attraction to women but also only has interest in dating woman and would never want to have sex with a man, date a man, etc. like. ive experienced attraction to men but would never EVER consider being with a man so im still a lesbian u get me? but short answer: yeah

[sapphicbigsister]

I've always assumed I was straight, and I know I'm attracted to guys, but recently I've realized I have a pretty big crush on my best (female) friend. Now I'm questioning the "friend crushes" I've had in the past and I don't know if maybe they were something more. Im not sure if this is a one time thing or if I could be bi. I'm only 16 so I know some people my age go through phases like this whether they're bi or not. I have no clue where to go from here so any advice is appreciated.

hi bugbug!! first off, go you for trying to figure this all out, it can be quite confusing!! a lot of us struggle to figure out if we’ve liked girls in the past because compulsory heterosexuality makes it difficult to determine what same-sex attraction feels like. this is because our society doesn’t give us any scripts for how that’s supposed to feel, whereas we’re taught from birth how it should feel to be attracted to/attractive to men. i know i and a lot of other wlw have had trouble because my attraction to women doesn’t feel the same as either compuslory heterosexuality (which enforces unrealistic and idealized notions about what romantic love should be) or the same as any genuine attraction to men i may have (i’m bi). so, a lot of wlw, when they’re questioning, do look at their past “friend crushes” and start to see a kind of pattern for how that might have been attraction. for me, i know my attraction to women was so repressed that it’s honestly been so difficult to even recognize that it did occur when i was younger (which, btw, it doesn’t have to for you to be sapphic now - identity and attraction can change, and that’s totally fine). when i was attracted to girls, i think i saw it more as wanting to be them. it can be tough to figure out, but it is so important to remember that you don’t have to figure it all out at once or even ever! just focus on living your truth and letting things come to an understanding for you naturally. it’s ok if you realize this is just a questioning phase or a one time thing, but i just want you to know that it’s completely ok for it not to be, and i don’t want you to feel like you can’t be sure or it is just something you’ll grow out of simply because of your age. it’s also fine to be bi even if you do feel like she’s the only girl you’ve liked. you definitely don’t have to make any decisions about labels or identity, but you also are absolutely allowed to, without fear that you’re “too young” or that you might change later on.

in terms of your crush (v cute btw, i hope this happens!), if you don’t know whether or not she’s into girls, that’s a good place to start imo!! i would try to feel out the situation and if you do find out/know she likes girls, then try to spend some time when it’s just the two of you and look at how she acts around you - is it different than how she acts with other friends? does she use casual touch, is she more affectionate with you, does she make a lot of jokes and eye contact, etc.? even though attraction can be hard to figure out, it’s pretty much similar for most people how they act when they are attracted to someone, so that part shouldn’t be as confusing haha! good luck and have fun exploring, and let me know how things are going for ya!!

love love love,

your sapphic big sis

[saturninemartial]

compuslory heterosexuality is real, ya’ll.

[thewingedwolf]

@sapphicmilady no it’s cool u don’t have to delete it, i don’t think the post is biphobic it’s just like that specific phrase gets my hackles up  and like everyone uses it so like. i don’t care *that* much it’s mostly just me wishing the tumblr app was like. functional and could work with a blacklist lol like i also wish i could blacklist the word “bitch” but i’m not gonna fight a black woman who uses it @ a yt lady who is being racist just bc I personally don’t think it’s necessary.

and not to go all discourse but like. idk i do feel that specific phrase is a little biphobic? and i don’t think it was meant like in a harmful way in a way words like “bihet” and “monosexual” were but i do feel like it tends to leave out specifically people who have been abused like i’ve seen bi women use it to to be like “oh i’m bi but i’m prioritizing women” and i’ve seen it used as a “i’m centering my female friendships and female familial relationships” which is like. i’m just. like i *get it* compuslory  heterosexuality is awful and men ur related to can also be awful but like.idk. i’m not gonna yell at people on the internet for using a phrase that makes me think about my dead uncle lol bc. it really does seem like it was jsut used as a way to like combat compulsory heterosexuality and i think it’s important to talk about that i just. don’t always like the specific way it’s talked about i guess. 

[candied-cae]

Sweet Kisses

Chapter 1/1 - - - Read it on AO3

Word Count : 1,242

Summary : The song may have been called "Her Sweet Kiss", but Yennefer's kisses were anything but sweet. They were sour and destructive. Perhaps there was no one who had the sugar kisses that Geralt desperately desired...

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I’ve lived a long life.

I was already 80 when I met Jaskier in Posada. After our decades of friendship, I had grown to be over 100, and in my long life I’ve experienced a plethora of wonders. I’ve battled innumerable monsters, met plenty of interesting people, and kissed many women. Each kiss was different, yet none were right.

Apparently, Yennefer’s kisses were sweet. I say apparently because I never thought so. According to Jaskier they were. The bard wrote that song about our relationship. “Her Sweet Kiss” was right about a few things. The way we hurt each other, the way Yennefer always pulled me back in no matter how much I knew we’d crash in the end. He saw that clearer than I did then. But the song was completely wrong, too. It’s silly to even consider. “Her Sweet Kiss”? Her kisses weren’t sweet, not at all. He may have called them that for the sake of his poetry, but they weren’t. Her kisses had never been candied, not even in the beginning. They’ve always been sour. Yennefer’s lips were bitter, carrying across the taste of gooseberries like her smell. Every time we collided, a sharp pain was left on my tongue. Like even my taste buds wanted to run. Maybe they could understand the toxicity my mind denied. Perhaps they were the warning signs. And it could’ve been that I was supposed to listen to them and escape the cycle. But I didn’t. For years Yennefer and I came together and clawed at each other until we broke away, only to smash back into one another like we didn’t know what would happen. Her kisses were not sweet. They weren’t. They were tart and left my lips stinging.

But even the pain was preferable to nothing. Being alone would’ve been worse than torture. The true tastelessness that the lonesomeness carries was always so much scarier than anything we could’ve done to each other. So we crashed, over and over, to create something broken. Something over nothing, anything over nothing. Her kisses hurt. Every time they hurt. And while I told myself it was fine and that it was alright, I was never satisfied. I received countless kisses from Yennefer, but it wasn’t enough. She was sour, and I longed for sweet.

Who knew I had such a sweet tooth?

I craved a sugary taste the right kisses would give. I’ve yearned for the reward and solace of confectionery love. But as much as I yearned, they were never to be found.

I’d always been searching, since long before Yennefer. There wasn’t sweetness in Renfri. The wild princess’s kisses were spiced. Her rebellion and fierce will came through her flamed lips. Her defiance and drive made her seasoned. She wasn’t the one, even though I had wished that she were. Even if I lost my sweet kisses to a tragedy, then at least I’d know. But no, they weren’t there.

Sweetness also wasn’t found in any of the whores I’ve spent my nights with. Their kisses were laces with a blandness. They had no love for me, and it was plain on their lips despite the lies they spun. It was a business, and while it was understandable that they try to fashion the best story for their clientele, that’s not what I needed. The falsehoods they whispered into my own lips felt like cotton. Like they’d fill my throat and suffocate me, all while I begged and pleaded just to feel something.

After decades of fruitless endeavors, and the failure that was apparent in Yen and me, I came to believe that I’d never find the right kisses. The lips I sought simply didn’t exist for me. I wanted sweet kisses and a love that filled my heart, but truthfully, no one in this world could love me like that. A witcher. A witcher doesn’t get the luxury of proper love. And that’s just the way it is. The fact that I even entertained the ideal after everything was comical enough. The kisses didn’t exist and therefore I would never get to taste the sweetness.

Or so I believed until I kissed Jaskier.

It wasn’t what I expected. The kiss was more or less a drunken accident spurred by my curiosity. I’ve always been fond of Jaskier, of course, the bard was my closest friend. But the bond we had, the care never seemed to align itself with any other relationship I’ve ever felt. It didn’t feel quite like just a friendship, it was bigger and softer. It didn’t feel like tutelage or brotherhood, the relationship I felt between my fellow witchers was nothing like a feeling I shared with the bard. I didn’t feel like service or entertainment, we never really owed anything to one another, it was a mutual appreciation for the company and assistance whomever it came from. The way we got along, it was its own existence. It was hard to place, difficult to define. It just didn’t make sense as other things did.

But then we kissed.

Who knew that I had never felt an honest love? That everything until then was just the prologue building to the real story? Every love I thought I had felt before didn’t compare to the way my heart opened up as our lips connected.

Who knew that a kiss could taste so sweet? That a kiss from my bard would have this taste? I knew I was looking for sweetness, but the taste Jaskier left was unlike anything I could’ve hoped for. The soft sugar taste I’ve been chasing, I had never even imagined how good it could be. The way the kiss melted and everything was so clear. Like I could finally see Jaskier in a way I never had before. I’d been searching for sweetness for so long, I never thought I’d find it.

Who knew that kissing Jaskier would bring me to tears? That the kiss would feel so good and so right that I’d cry? When I felt the wetness on my cheeks, I was shocked. I’ve never been particularly emotional, but the kiss was so ethereal, so unexpectedly perfect. When Jaskier noticed I was crying you’d have sworn he was watching me die with how he stammered and panicked. It was beautiful, and I kissed him again.

Who knew that the loyal bard who followed me for decades, who journeyed with me while I ran from destiny, was my destiny? That he was right there all along? My bard, my best friend, was walking next to me while I was hopeless and hurting. But I never thought to look over. It took too long to notice he was right there, that he was perfect. He’d always been perfect, he’d always been my destiny.

Who knew that fate wasn’t always a trap? That sometimes it was a warm bed full of love and two arms wrapped around you, holding you tight? I was always so scared. Scared of being controlled no matter how much I’d deny it. But fate wasn’t there to restrict me, it’s a freedom to enjoy the love I’ve always been looking for. It’s safe and warm and kind, and it’s sweet just like I’d always hoped for.

Who knew... that Jaskier and I were always meant to be? Because Jaskier’s kisses were sweet, they were the sweetest things I’ve ever tasted. And I’m so glad I finally found them.

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