#Comfortable car

[wasyago]

on a lunch break

[conspicuous-clown-car]

these three fuckers on their way to be a part of my fantasies that help me fall asleep every night

[gayofthefae]

You know how I know Mike is queer?

These are the same person. Mike is an inherently caring, loving, and protective person. It's what Will called out in 4x08 and reminded us of with Mike's desire and practice in attempt to be a "hero" and be able to help the ones he loves.

But when El tells him she feels unloved by him, he doesn't comfort her. At all. He defends himself. He doesn't even say "yes I do". He says "I say it". Even when he's arguing that he loves her, he is defending himself, not comforting her. If he was comforting her he would have reacted to her crying at all. He doesn't. He just becomes increasingly desperate and escalates the tactics that are making her cry more.

Because the accusation is that important to him. Not many things could be so important to him that he would deprioritize her or taking care and protecting and comforting those he loves. He even does quite well at it at the start of the scene. We have PROOF that he is pretty stable these days with any sort of accusation or invalidation with how well he takes "you don't understand" and simply asks questions without any sort of offense. So he CAN take it. He takes it IN THIS CONVERSATION.

But when she says he doesn't love him, he stops the "they just don't know you". He stops the "don't say that about yourself, you're lovable," which is what this is really about for her. If he had said that even if he couldn't say it himself, it might have still helped a little bit: frame it as his own fault if he can't. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he went with how it reflected on HIM that he couldn't say it and defended himself AGAINST her. FOUGHT her on it.

There are few things that can make him fight a person. And they've all actually been pretty similar. They're all El:

"You're prioritizing El over Will"

"There is something off about your relationship with El"

"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"

"He's right that your and [El's] relationship wasn't a good one"

"Your and El's relationship wasn't a good one"

"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"

"You don't love [El]"

He is comforting. He is kind. He prioritizes others' comfort and safety consistently. He takes other accusations fairly lightly and focuses back onto the person making them and their emotions. And yet, what does he say in those instances and only those instances?

"SHUT. UP."

"You lying piece of shit. You're crazy!"

"It's not my fault you don't like girls!"

"He's just some crazy old man"

"You're conspiring against me!"

"We're friends! We're friends!"

"You're being ridiculous. What is this?"

People who say his character has gotten worse are stating it under the idea that he is always like this. The entire discovery so many people, including myself, had that he's queer was because we noticed that his outbursts were consistent. People think he's random and angry because they think the situations are random: Lucas, Hopper, Will, Max, El. But they're forgetting to note what each of those people questioned about him right before.

The biggest proof is that he doesn't ever talk like this outside of these situations. It's lighthearted debates and empathetic conversations.

Mike Wheeler is a kind person. If he said "You're being ridiculous. What is this?" it is not just because he's scared of vulnerability or commitment.

[thelailasblog]

[f1-stuff]

Abu Dhabi GP '23 // SF Full Access

[inamindfarfaraway]

Batman fun fact! Did you know that Scarecrow’s toxin doesn’t always cause fear? Sometimes it does the opposite! In Detective Comics #571, he wields a variant that completely inhibits the biochemical fear response, preventing people from feeling any concern for themselves or using basic common sense. He runs a racket administering it to star athletes, who take huge risks and get badly injured. Then they’re willing to cough up a lot for an antidote. Batman and Robin - here Jason Todd - catch on, but Bruce is dosed with the reverse fear toxin; since his intelligence is his greatest strength, being too overconfident and reckless to think twice about anything makes him his own worst enemy.

This premise was adapted in the Batman: The Animated Series episode “Never Fear”. There we see that with no fear of losing his moral integrity, Bruce becomes cold and merciless to criminals. Robin - here Tim Drake - has to catch somebody he leaves to fall off a building, tie him up to stop him endangering himself and others and give him the antidote to prevent him murdering Scarecrow.

But in the comic book, Jason is kidnapped by Scarecrow. He gets gassed and hallucinates Bruce dying and telling him that it’s his fault. He isn’t around to keep Bruce in check as he goes to rescue him through a series of death traps that he can’t resist cutting it as close as possible in. So how does Bruce not go off the deep end? How does he not lose sight of what’s important? Not lose himself?

Because even a drug designed to shut down stress at the most fundamental level can’t overpower his true worst fear. The Dark Knight might feel fearless…

but a parent never is.

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a Tiktok that starts with him wedging himself between Steve and Wayne on the couch. He gives Steve a smile that all mischief as he says, “You know what being in Wayne trailer reminds me of?”

Steve, who knows what that kind of smile means: Don’t

Eddie: Remember before Wayne knew we were dating-

Wayne: *scoffs at the notion that there was a time before he knew they were dating*

Eddie, rolling his eyes: Okay, fine. Wayne always knew because we were super obvious, whatever. He has excellent gaydar. Before we told Wayne.

Eddie: Steve would stay over a lot and if a Wayne wasn’t working, he’s sleep on the couch so he didn’t suspect nothin.’ That was the arrangement until Wayne said…

Eddie, in his Wayne-ist voice: Eddie, get your boy in your room so I can hear myself think at night.

Eddie: ‘Cause you know, Steve snores and it was keeping Wayne up.

Steve: I didn’t snore back then!

Eddie: You definitely did, but my point is. Talk about the quietest blow-

Steve, smacking Eddie’s arm: Shut up! That’s not- We did not! Ever. Not where - So, just be quiet.

There’s a beat of silence and Wayne turns the page in the newspaper he was reading. Then he says completely straight-faced “Sure was a squeaky bed” and Eddie busts out laughing.

Steve just leaves.

[minijenn]

Something something comfort characters something something sassy brown haired blorbos something something give me five more of these blonde bitches something something

[patricks-hockstetters-lighter]

COMFORT CHARACTER CAR

im all sorts of messed up

[steviesbicrisis]

💫 Steve Harrington's House 💫

So, after this post, I couldn't let go of this house. I decided to rebuild it in The Sims and then I had so much info I felt the need to share it. Other than commenting on some crazy aspects of this mansion, I think it can give some input/ideas for possible scenarios in fanfiction! (for one, I'd like to know what Eddie thinks about half of the features of this house lmao). My process was: canon information > actual house information > gaps I filled the best I could Disclaimer: keep on describing Steve's house however you want to!! I'm sharing this in case you wanna be as close to the actual house as possible!

Listings: Zillow | Trulia | Homemetry

Credits: Sticky notes by rawpixel.com | Washi tapes by rawpixel.com | background paper by starline all on Freepik

[bisexualmcqueen]

been trying to get the cars groove back have a sketch dump

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡

[thelailasblog]

[fidgetspringer-art]

'I hold on to that and I think of the Volvo covered in algae and moss, and I wonder if this was the last thing it experienced before it became a haunt'

From Mil-Liminal, the podcast by @raptorjules

[madi-writes-things]

Stay… (Jake Webber X Reader)

Summary:

“I’m at the hospital” “What do you mean?!”

Word Count: 1,046

TW: Hurt/Comfort, Arguments, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Head Injury, Use of Y/N

You almost never fight, but everyone has their breaking point… and tonight appeared to be both of yours. It wasn’t even anything big. Jake had to go to an important dinner meeting, and you felt left out. By the time he got home you were already in a mood, which only pissed him off. He was just trying to help, but you refused to tell him what was wrong.

“It’s not a big deal.” you lied through your teeth. It hurt your feelings when he didn’t invite you to dinner, when you knew for a fact that the other influencers had brought their partners. “Don’t worry about it” your words were laced with venom.

A look flashed across his face that was unreadable, but his words quickly filled in the context. “Oh… so that’s what we’re doing?” He was really starting to get mad now. It was too late to tell him that it really didn’t matter, and that you just want to forget about the whole ordeal. “You refuse to tell me why your mad, and you just get pissy when i ask… I’m done trying to have a rational fucking discussion with you”

You knew that he was right, but his words just made you more upset. “I shouldn’t have to fucking tell you why I’m mad Jake, maybe if you thought about anyone other than yourself you could figure it out!” At this point tears were streaming down your face, and you could see that they had started to form in his eyes as well. You didn’t mean for it to come out that harsh, but you also didn’t know how else to make him understand that he really hurt you.

“I can’t stand you when you act like this…” He turned to walk to your shared room as he said this. The pain in your heat grew tenfold hearing him say he couldn’t stand you. You knew he didn’t mean it, but that didn’t soften the blow. You immediately walked into y’all’s room and stated grabbing clothes from your drawer, quickly packing them into a tote bag. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He looked confused.

“Since you ‘can’t stand me’ right now, i figured I’d get out of your hair… I’m going to a friends house.” You watched as he tried to think of something to say, before eventually deciding to let you go. You both needed some space and time to reset.

You quickly packed enough clothes for a week, before going down to your car. You wanted him to stop you, but you knew that he wouldn’t. You don’t blame him, you knew he didn’t want you to go… but you also know that he needed space too. As you started driving you realized that you didn’t know where you were going, you decided to find a lot to park in and call a friend.

As you exited the highway you noticed that traffic was coming to a stop, so you started to slow down. A strange sense of panic rushed over you as you looked in your rear view mirror. Oh shit oh shit oh-

***

You woke up 3 minutes later to EMS crowded around your car. You quickly roll your window down and ask what happened. As they explain what happened you reach up to touch your throbbing head, only to see blood on your hand as you pull it away. You got very light headed at the sight of the blood, and suddenly everything was dark again.

***

As soon as you got to the hospital you knew you needed to call Jake. You waited until thy were done with your exam, partially because you wanted to know how bad it was… but mostly because you were scared that Jake wouldn’t answer. How were you supposed to know that Jake had been crying since you left, just hoping you would call. The phone rang three times before you heard a sleepy voice greeting you.

“Y/N?” You realize that you didn’t responded fast enough when he speaks again. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m in the hospital.” Your voice breaks a little at the end, you haven’t stopped crying since you woke up in the ambulance. Unfortunately for the EMS people you refuse to talk abut anything other than the fight.

“What do you mean!?” This broke you, you couldn’t handle the thought of Jake being mad at you anymore. “Y/N, where are you?”

You told him what hospital you were at, and that you were okay. Jake was there in less than five minutes, you didn’t question how he got there so quick. As soon as you saw him you started crying… again. You could see the look on his face change from worry to relief to shock within three seconds of finding you. You understood why… the nurse had let you look at yourself in a mirror, and it wasn’t good.

Once he registered that he had found you, he rushed to you. “What happened, are you okay?” He reached up to inspect the bruises and small cuts on your face. You flinched away. It hurt to move your face, and someone touching it right now wasn’t something you wanted to think of.

“I’m so sorry… for everything” Jake quickly assured you that hew was sorry too, and that it wasn’t your fault that any of this happened. “They said that i could go home as soon as i got a ride.”

***

As soon as you and Jake got home he started making a bed on the couch. It didn’t register what he was doing at first. “You can take the bed, I’m sure it isn’t good to sleep on the couch after an accident.”

He was being so respectful, but all that you wanted was for him to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay. “Don’t…” It was so quiet that he almost didn’t hear it, you didn’t know what to say. “Can you please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone.” He followed you to y’all’s shared bed, doing his best to hold you without upsetting a bruise. You fell asleep to him telling you how much he loves you, and you’ve never felt safer.

———————————————————

I hope that y’all enjoyed it, feel free to send a request my way.

-Madi <;3

[strnilolover]

NNN - matt sturniolo - never been good at goodbyes

⚠︎TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠︎ : Car accident, Death, Crying, Grieving, Funeral, Slight Depressive State, Slight Descriptive scenes, and More.

Other Information : This will start off with Matt’s pov then switch to readers. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS FANFICTION AND NOT REAL LIFE. Matt is still very much alive and will be for years.

⚠︎THIS CONTENT BELOW MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME READERS. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED. IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING IN THE WARNINGS PLEASE DO NOT READ OR READ AT YOUR OWN RISK⚠︎

Matt’s POV

Matt normally never had bad bad days, always being able to keep himself under control and keep things from getting to him. It was something he’d grown so used to doing after years of practicing and years of therapy. But, not all days were days he was able to control — and though that bothered him, he knew it wasn’t always something he could control.

Today had been a particularly stressful day for matt. There were meetings upon meetings and overall he just wasn’t feeling the best all day. He never liked to blame the way he was feeling on his anxiety, but he couldn’t help to think that maybe something happened this morning that just ticked him off and made him feel off all day.

So he decided to take a late night drive, after dropping nick and chris off at home. Matt’s hands gripped the steering wheel, his fingers tapping along to the rhythm of the music playing from his playlist. The streets were quiet tonight, then again, he did decide to drive through the country side so he didn’t have to deal with other cars and people.

As he steered the car on the smooth roads, he could feel his mind starting to become more at ease. His mind now thinking about you and how he was ready to tell you about his day once he got home. It wasn’t often that matt didn’t text you before he did anything, and he didn’t text you to tell you he was going out for a drive — his mind being too caught up in his thoughts before hand.

As he continued to drive, his phone buzzed from the passenger seat, and he smiled to himself, already guessing it was you. You were probably wondering why he hadn’t texted you at all yet — or goodnight yet. He resisted the urge to pick his phone up, knowing that was too dangerous, telling himself he’d text back once he was home. Just a few more minutes, he thought.

You always texted him if he wasn’t responding in the normal times he did, but a lot of the time you understood why he didn’t answer or why he couldn’t. He could probably already assume that you typed out a little thing about him not texted and then a good night — since you weren’t one to stay up too late like he was.

Matt continued to hum and tap his fingers along to the music, watching as little droplets of rain his his windshield in tiny patters — which caused his to reach and turn the windshield wipers on.

The roads started to become damp from the rain as the downpour started to pick up and his headlights cut through the darkness as he rounded a bend. There wasn’t much light along the road, his only source being his headlights in from of him and how they reflected off the road signs. But, when he went to make a particularly sharp turn — thinking he had it — he lost control of the car.

He felt the tires slip, the car skidding on a patch of wet road. His heart lurched as he tried to steady the wheel, but it was too late. The car spun, a flash of panic shooting through him as he lost control, his mind racing to make sense of what was happening.

“Fuck — Fuck Come on,” he shouted, desperately trying to regain control. But the car kept sliding, veering and turning. And as the car hurtled forward, time seemed to slow, and he felt a strange, overwhelming calm settle over him. He knew it was too late, and honestly all he could think of was your face, the warmth of your smile, the love you shared. In that moment, everything else faded away, and all he could think of was you.

He wished he could see you one last time, to hold you, to tell you just how much you meant to him. A small, bittersweet smile tugged at his lips, a final act of love as the world around him dissolved. He felt tears well in his eyes and slip down his face as his eyes quickly caught a glimpse of bright headlights heading straight for him.

“I love you,” he whispered, just as everything went dark.

Your POV

You slowly stirred in bed, the gloomy light pouring into your room through the blinds. You were by no means a morning person, and you never have been.

You groaned, turning to stretch your legs and arms as you snuggled deeper into the blankets before opening your eyes. The light wasn’t too harsh, considering it had been raining all night so it didn’t take you long to adjust before you were reaching over to your night stand and grabbing your phone from the charger.

You squinted as you turned your phone on, yes the light from day didn’t bother you — but the phone screen was a whole other story. You looked at the time 11:24am before slowly unlocking it, hoping to see a notification or two from matt in your messages, but to your surprise there wasn’t any. None responding to your texts from last night either — maybe he just got really busy again?

Furrowing your brow, your fingers typed across your keyboard, sending him a quick

Good morning love! Hope you slept well. Text me when you’re up?

Before setting your phone down on the bed beside you. It wasn’t — strange — per say for him to not text you for this long, but you understood that sometimes he just got too busy to check his phone for long periods of time. With a sigh you pulled the covers off of your body, swinging your legs over the side of your bed as you sat up.

You had some things you needed to do today — grocery shopping, dropping some things off by the local animal shelter and a few straggler errands. Your hands rubbed your face, stretching once more before you rose to your feet, pattering your way over to your bathroom to get your things ready for a shower.

You couldn’t help but to think of matt, i mean why hadn’t he texted? or why hadn’t his brother said anything to you in place of matt texting? You shook your head, looking into the mirror briefly. ‘I’m sure i’ll hear from him at some point’

You turned away, reaching the shower as you turned the knob to hot, closing the curtains as steam filled the room. You discarded your clothes, stepping into the hot water — your muscles relaxing slightly as the water cascaded down your body. It both woke you up, but it tempted you to fall back asleep — though you couldn’t and continued on to wash your hair.

Once your shower was done, it was around 12:30pm and you rushed to get dressed. Grabbing a plain white shirt and some black sweat pants, slipping on matt’s red zip up jacket. You grabbed a pair of socks, sitting on the edge of your bed as you slipped them on along with your shoes — quickly getting up and grabbing your phone from the bed.

You checked your notification board, but there still wasn’t anything from matt. You felt a pang in your chest, but pushed it aside, sending one more text before you were out your bedroom door — making your way into the living room.

I hope you’re doing okay baby! I have to run some errands so i may not text much. Love you bunches! ���️

Your steps were small, striding toward the front door as you grabbed your bag and the keys to your car. You paused for a moment, feeling like you were forgetting something — but after trying to wrack your brain, you came up empty handed. So, you walked out your front door, closing it and locking it behind you before making your way to your car.

Slipping into the drivers seat, you started the engine, your eyes catching a glimpse of something in your passenger seat. You stared at it curiously before picking it up — it was one of matt’s rings, wedged into the seat. You held it up, smiling to yourself at matt’s forgetfulness in leaving things laying around. ‘I’ll just have to give this back to him later’

You thought for a minute of what to do with his ring before deciding to put it on your finger. After situating it, you put the car in reverse, making sure to look behind you as you pulled out of your driveway. You had a pretty packed day ahead, but all you could think about was hopefully seeing matt at the end of the day.

4:45pm

You were utterly exhausted, pulling your car back into your driveway you had left hours ago. It felt as if the day had dragged on, still no messages from matt which was starting to worry you. You had even sent chris and nick both messages asking if they knew where he was or if they were busy — but they hadn’t responded either.

You parked your car, turning the engine off as you stepped out of the drivers side door. Quickly, you popped the trunk, wanting to grab all the groceries and take them inside in one go. Which was … pretty successful, you had a few items slip, but got them inside without much of a fuss.

You grunted as you carried the groceries inside, closing the front door with your foot before making your way over to the kitchen. Setting down the bags, you started to unload them, making sure to set aside the items you were using to cook dinner.

7:15pm

It had been all day — all day and matt still hadn’t texted you back. You started to grow worried, he had never gone with long without texting you — and neither did his brothers. This pit formed in your stomach, the feeling making you feel absolutely sick to your stomach.

Suddenly, you heard a knock on your door — the sound snapping you from your thoughts. Your body moved from the couch, rushing to open it, hoping to see Matt standing there, laughing at how worried you’d been. But when you swung the door open, you found Nick and Chris standing there, their faces pale, eyes rimmed red. The air around them felt heavy, as if carrying an invisible weight that fell on you the moment you looked into their eyes.

“Hey,” Nick started, his voice thick, barely holding back the tremor. Chris had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his head down as though he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

Your heart began to race. “What’s going on?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Where’s Matt? I’ve been trying to reach him — and you guys all day! but none of you have been answering me.”

Chris looked away, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before Nick stepped forward. “Can we come in?” Nick’s voice was strained, like each word physically hurt him. The pit in your stomach felt almost too much right now, filling every corner of your mind.

You stepped aside, and they entered quietly. As you sat down on the couch, Nick and Chris took seats across from you. For a moment, there was only silence. The two of them shared a look, and you could see that neither of them wanted to say what they’d come here to tell you.

Chris was the first to speak. “Last night, Matt… he… he was driving,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “He… there was an accident.”

You stared at them, every word hitting you like a punch to the gut. “Is he okay?” you asked, your voice a desperate whisper, searching their faces for any sign of hope. You wanted to hear that he was in the hospital, that he’d be okay, that they were just here to tell you he’d need time to recover.

Nick swallowed hard, his eyes filling with tears he couldn’t hold back any longer. “He… he didn’t make it.” he choked out, his teeth gritting together.

The room went silent, the words echoing around you, wrapping around your heart and squeezing until you couldn’t breathe. You stared at them, waiting for one of them to take it back, to tell you it was a horrible mistake, a cruel joke. But their broken expressions only confirmed the nightmare that was unfolding before you.

“No,” you murmured, shaking your head, tears blurring your vision. “No, that’s… that’s not possible. He was… he was just here yesterday.”

Chris reached out, placing a gentle hand on yours, his own voice choked with grief. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and you could see the pain etched deep into his face. “We came as soon as we could, we didn’t want you to find out any other way.”

You pulled your hand away, curling up on yourself, as though somehow shrinking would lessen the pain ripping through your chest. Every memory of him, every laugh, every touch, every whispered word flooded your mind, filling you with a love so intense it was unbearable.

Nick spoke softly, his voice breaking. “He loved you, you know? So much. He… he never stopped talking about you, how much you meant to him.” His words felt like a double-edged sword, cutting into you and yet comforting you at the same time.

You buried your face in your hands, sobbing as the reality of it all began to sink in. Matt was gone. The person who made you laugh until you couldn’t breathe, who held you close on quiet nights, who loved you more than anyone ever had… he was gone.

Chris wrapped his arm around you, holding you as you broke down, his own tears streaming down his face. Nick sat beside you, reaching over to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder, though his own strength was failing. The three of you sat there, bound together by your shared grief, the silence heavy with the weight of all the things left unsaid, all the future moments that would never come.

You shook as the sobs continued to wrack through your body, sniffling, you wiped your nose — desperate to try and find the right words. “Y-you — why…why didn’t y-you guys tell m-me sooner?” you gritted out, the tightness in your chest making it hard to speak. Nick and chris shook their heads, not being able to give a proper answer.

You knew they were feeling it too — he was their brothers. Your head rose out of your hands, tears streaking your face as you looked at them. Your arms coming up to wrap around them and hold them close to you. You all cried together — and as you looked over to chris, you noticed matt’s ring on your finger, and that made you break.

12:54am

Later that night, you found yourself scrolling through old messages, rereading his words, listening to his voice notes, clinging to every last piece of him you had left. His laugh, his voice, the way he always said “goodnight” and “I love you”—they all felt so close, yet impossibly distant.

You couldn’t help the tears that left your eyes every time you skimmed over the words — or listened to the recordings. Every time felt like a stab to your heart, like it was being chipped away at more and more. Your best friend was gone — the love of your life…your soulmate…and you would never see him again.

When you finally put your phone down — the tears hadn’t dried. Your head rested against your pillow as you wore matt’s hoodie, hugging a stuffed animal that he got you close to your chest — your fingers fiddling with the ring on your finger. Every time you thought of him, a new wave of tears fell down your face.

You didn’t get much sleep that night — or in the week that led up to his funeral.

One Week Later

The day of the funeral arrived much sooner than you were prepared for, though, in truth, you didn’t think any amount of time could have readied you. The past few days had passed in a fog, each moment blending into the next, leaving you feeling numb and disconnected from reality. It was as if a part of you had been ripped away, leaving a hollow space where Matt had once been. Now, you were about to say goodbye for the last time, and every step felt heavier than the last.

You stared at yourself in the mirror — the black dress you wore clung to your skin, and you desperately wanted to get out of it. But you couldn’t…not now at least. You hadn’t felt well enough to drive, so instead you had nick and chris send an uber — because you didn’t trust yourself.

The sky was overcast as you made your way to the cemetery, a dull gray that matched the ache inside you. There were people gathered around, friends and family, familiar faces etched with grief. As you approached, you saw Nick and Chris standing together, their faces pale and somber, each of them carrying their own unbearable weight. They looked up as you joined them, offering you small, broken smiles that only deepened the sorrow in your heart.

“Hey,” Nick said softly, pulling you into a gentle hug. You clung to him, feeling the grief between you, a shared wound that neither of you could heal.

Chris joined, wrapping his arms around the both of you, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into their strength. “He loved you so much,” Chris whispered, his voice cracking. “He’d want you to remember that.”

You nodded, unable to speak, afraid that if you opened your mouth, you’d break down entirely. Instead, you stayed close to them, feeling a strange comfort in their presence as you all prepared to say goodbye to someone you loved deeply.

The ceremony began shortly after, the words of the officiant filled the air, and you found yourself drifting back to memories of Matt. You remembered his laugh, the warmth of his embrace, the way he’d look at you like you were his whole world. Every shared moment played through your mind, each memory a bittersweet reminder of all you’d lost.

When it was time for people to come up and say a few words, you felt a lump form in your throat as Nick and Chris took turns sharing stories about Matt. They spoke of his kindness, his humor, his fierce loyalty, and the way he could make anyone feel like they mattered. Their words brought laughter through the tears, but it was the kind of laughter that hurt, a reminder of what could never be again.

And then, it was your turn. You hadn’t planned to speak, afraid that the words would betray you, that you’d fall apart in front of everyone. But as you looked at the faces of those who loved Matt, you realized that he’d want you to speak, to let the world know what he’d meant to you.

So With shaky steps, you walked to the front, your eyes falling on the casket. The reality of it hit you all over again, the finality of it, and you took a deep, unsteady breath before you began.

“I don’t think any of us are really ready to say goodbye,” you started, your voice thick with emotion. “Matt… he wasn’t just someone I loved. He was my best friend, my partner, my everything. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. And now, I’m… I’m not sure how to move forward without him.”

You paused, tears blurring your vision, but you forced yourself to continue. “I’ll never forget the way he made me laugh or the way he’d stay up late just to talk, even if he had a million other things to do. He cared so deeply, for everyone in his life, and I feel so grateful to have been loved by him.”

A small, sad smile tugged at your lips. “Matt was… he was the best part of my life. And even though he’s gone, I know he’ll always be with me, in the memories we shared, in the love he left behind. I’ll carry him with me for the rest of my life.” the last lines felt heavy on your tongue, almost inaudible as you cried.

You couldn’t look at anyone as you returned to your seat, feeling drained, the weight of your words settling over you. Nick and Chris reached out, each of them gripping your hand as the ceremony came to an end. As people began to disperse, you stayed behind, wanting one final moment alone with him.

“You coming?” Chris asked as he stood up, nick looking at you as well. You sat there, shaking your head as you looked up. Your eyes were sore and red — they were raw from all the times you’ve cried within the last week. “m’gonna stay here for a few moments.” you whispered, and they both gave you an understanding look before they headed inside the building to talking with the other people.

The grave site grew quiet — everyone else having retreated, leaving you with only the gentle whisper of the wind. You rose from your seat, walking over and kneeling down, placing a hand on the cool surface of the casket, the final barrier between you and Matt. The tears welled and flowed freely now, unchecked, as you whispered all the things you wished you’d had the chance to say.

Taking a deep breath — you choked on a sob, leaning forward to press your forehead to the casket, feeling the coldness of it seep into your skin. “I love you, Matt. I always will. Thank you for loving me, for giving me so many beautiful memories. I’ll keep you in my heart, forever.”

The clouds above began to drizzle, and you allowed the rain drops to fall over your skin. Sitting there on the ground, your knees digging into the dirt — you cried, whispering over and over again hoping matt would hear you.

“I-I’ll be with you one day, my love.” was the last thing you choked out before pressing a kiss to the top of his casket — rising to your feet and turning away.

4 years later

Today you were going to visit matt’s grave — something you have been doing for the last four years ever since he passed. It still wasn’t easy — and you don’t think it ever really is going to be.

But, you learned to become strong, not just for yourself — but for your daughter too.

A few weeks after matt’s funeral had happened, you had noticed your period was late and you hadn’t been feeling the best. And even though the thought of possibly being pregnant filled you with dread — it also made you feel happy.

So when those two pink lines had shown on the test — you were overly overwhelmed. You were carrying matt’s child — a piece of him that you would keep close to yourself forever. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing that day, calling chris and nick to tell them — they were with you every step of the way.

You were currently getting your daughter buckled into her car seat, making sure she was safe and secure before you even thought about driving anywhere. Once you were sure she was strapped in safely, you closed the car door — climbing into the front and setting off to the graveyard.

“Mommy, where are we going?” your daughter asked, always so curious to know where you were going to take her. You smiled, looking into the mirror before training your eyes back in the road.

“We’re going to go see daddy, honey.” you said, putting the turning signal on to turn into the driveway of the graveyard. Your daughter let out a sound, turning her head to look out the window. You felt a pang in your heart, you always did whenever you visited matt — but this time, you were bringing your daughter along.

You drove a little more up the road, pulling over to the shoulder as you killed the engine. Stepping out, you came around to open the back door — unbuckling your daughter and carrying her out on your hip. Slowly, you walked over to where matt’s grave was, sitting down softly in the grass as you sat your daughter on your lap.

Her curious blue eyes looked at the headstone — reaching her little hand out to trace the words that were engraved into it. “Mommy…why is daddy’s name written on here?” she asked — her little head turning up to look at you.

You laughed sadly, feeling the tears well in your eyes. “This is…this is where daddy is resting baby-“ you say, patting the ground where he was buried years ago. “-i’m sorry you never got to meet him baby.” you whispered, sniffling softly as your hand came up to wipe your tears away.

Of course you’ve told your daughter about matt — about her dad. She didn’t fully understand it yet, but you hoped she would as she grows older. She deserved to know how wonderful her daddy was — and even though she’s got two amazing uncles to show her that, you wanted to show her in your own way too.

“Let’s…let’s put the flowers down that we brought for daddy, okay baby?” you said, handing her the little flowers you brought for matt. She smiled brightly, her little hand taking them from you and placing them on the ground in front of your bodies.

You sat there for a little while, talking to matt and telling him about everything that has been going on. Even introducing him to his daughter for the first time — the words getting caught in your throat as you did. Of course you told matt about her on other visits, he was the first person you told when you found out you were pregnant before nick and chris.

But, after a while when the grey clouds started to roll in — you decided it was time to go for the day. So you carefully stood up, placing your daughter on your hip as you reached a hand forward to matt’s headstone, whispering a goodbye as you began to walk away.

“Bye bye daddy!” your daughter called back — and your chest tightened.

You never were good at goodbyes, were you?

© strnilolover