#Comedic monologue

[paloma-ascends-into-hellfire]

Charlotte's monologue from tgwdlm

Back to this series! If anyone needs a comedic monologue.

CHARLOTTE: CCRP Technical, this is Charlotte. How can I help…? Oh, hi, Sam! How are things down at the precinct? … Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Well, my day’s been-... Uh-huh… Oh… How late? Oh… but- but sweetheart…  [She moves away from Bill and Paul.] Sweetheart, it- it’s cuddle night… Well, what do you mean, “so what?”, the counselor says we should do it at least once a month! … Yes, but… yes, but honey, we skipped last month… Well, don’t you think I’m tired, too? … Alright, maybe tomorrow night, then, huh? … No, no, you’re right, we should stick to the schedule. Next month it is! All right, well, you take care, Sam. And Sam, be careful, because I love y- [Sam appears to have hung up.] Sam? [She looks at the phone and dejectedly puts it away.] That was Sam… He’s doin’ just fine… Counselling’s working out real swell…

[verygaypurplething]

Y'all have any monologue recommendations? One comedic the other dramatic, both roughly a minute and a half in length. (Cannot be a bunch of condensed lines from a scene. Preferably clean)

[auditionsuggestions]

I have auditions for beauty and the beast coming up! I would love the role of Belle, my song is live out loud from the little princess. Is there any monologue recommendations? To even be more annoying, any NOT actually from beauty and the beast. TYYY!!! <3

Hi there! I have suggested some material for Belle here (granted they're both comedic so you may want a contrast with Live Out Loud--nice choice on the song by the way). Take a look at Josie from Once Upon a Forest There Was a Bride (something familiar about a strong young woman making a sacrifice for her father's sake).

[mrboosk]

Well, I mean, it's just a very well-written, very like moving personal story

and, um, basically, she has this amazing frame where she's underneath her desk and you don't totally know why, but then you realize that the shooting is happening, and it all takes place inside of her head during like the two hours she had to be under the desk, because she didn't even know when the shooting was over and then once the cops came they sort of made her stay in the office after it was over because they had to, like, remove the bodies that were blocking her door. And, so basically her entire life is flashing before her eyes underneath this desk and you just hear about like al of these sacrifices that she had to make and how she'd like started to hate herself and then, basicaly, in the end, she looks down and she realizes that she's been clutching her stomach for like two hours and reveals that she just figured out she's pregnant, basically, with like twins? And she's forty.

Callie, from Gloria by Brandon Jacobs-Jenkins

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

be honest who out of kevin, neil and andrew would guest star on SNL and how well would they do?

[muffinrag]

the necromancer. THE necromancer. what e v e r. whatever! As if anyone could ever be "THE" necromancer after Dorian fucking Pavus spent 44 playthoughs and 603 hours serving flaming hot cunt. The only necromancer that matters to me is the queen I got sent to the future with. The guy I fucking soul-bonded with the moment I saw his godawful mustache.

as if anybody could be The Necromancer except Dorian. come on.

[aq2003]

omfg . radio play version of much ado with david as benedick from 2001

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 7: Introducing Sparks (Those Mysteries)

The big nagging question that appeared in my mind right after having my first listen of this album, earlier this year on a particularly beautiful and sunny spring day, was "so THIS is one of the weak ones???". Because seriously, this album has it all: the Sparks spirit on full display, the humour, the FUN, the lyrical wit, incredibly catchy melodies, fun and lush instrumentation... It even feels like a bit of a return to the glam era, even if in a slightly different form.

I want to get to the bottom of what makes the humour on this album work especially... I think it's truly one of its strongest sides. There's a bunch of other albums to come later that could also be considered some of the more comedic ones, and I think it's always a pretty similar element connecting it all... What is it? Well, it must just be... one of Those Mysteries. But ok, let's at least give this a try.

Lots of elements here are quite, let's call it, cheesy on surface: the seriousness with which all the different Occupations are treated, the "aAaAAAA" backup vocals on Ladies, the bridge (and, honestly, everything else too) of Forever Young, the high stakes of Goofing Off, the melodrama of Those Mysteries... Maybe it's the knowledge that it's Sparks that lets one see past this "facade". Maybe someone uninitiated could think that this is all just played straight. Or would it become too obvious for anyone to be fooled by the time we get to Goofing Off? And is there anything to be fooled about anyways...?

Because yeah, these songs are funny and poke fun at things, but without veering into actual parody teritory. I've been thinking about a very similar thing with They Might Be Giants, who also use a lot of humour in their music but are NOT a comedic / parody act (...despite seemingly every music reviewer being convinced of the opposite). Maybe it's the devotion and respect with which they both treat their art and audiences: the subject matter might be funny, but that doesn't mean that what they do can be condensed to just some joke (which is, again, lost on some reviewers). So, well, there's definitely a lot more to get into in regards to this topic and more opportunities to do that soon with later albums, so, stay tuned, maybe?

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

They're all so good... And this is yet another Sparks album that I think just flows super well and all the songs make a magnificent whole. But still, here are some personal highlights.

Occupation: literally one of the catchiest songs in existence, it tormented me for days if not weeks on end back in the day. The flow of "You need an-ah, You need an-ah, You need an Occupation" is incredibly good

Ladies: like I described earlier... it's just so funny

I'm Not: beaten by maybe one other song for the spot of THE #1 song that I was unable to stop listening to over and over right after hearing the album it's from

Goofing Off: ok, THIS one's the funniest. And the guitar solo has no right to go as hard as it does

Girls On The Brain: Ron writes about a brother who's "kinda thick" and hands the song to his brother to sing. Ok!!

Those Mysteries: only Sparks could make a song as solemn and sentimental sounding as this that I'm actually a huge fan of

[and-make-it-double]

id kill of an spn time travel fic where both sam and dean travel back in time but they both think that they're the only one back

[allieinarden]

The America Ferrera monologue in the Barbie movie was my personal weakest part of the Barbie movie.

[valhallakonbi]

it's a given that we will never get an arc narrated by ougi because they're too much of a wild card and yet i would kill for something compelling narrated by tsukihi. i need to know what's going on in that head of hers. i need to put her in a petri dish and study her.

[yilinglaozuhot]

Why nobody told me that dexter is a comedy?

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

[auditionsuggestions]

hiii :) i'm doing my first ever audition for a major sketch comedy org (AHH) in 2 weeks and i need to perform a 1 minute monologue. i'd prefer something more recent (ideally 1990s - late 2010s) i want to show some dichotomy and contrast with tone (think aggretsuko in terms of the jarring difference between her soft-spoken professionalism and intense aggression). alternatively, also open to a more ditzy valley girl or frustrated authority/mom figure. thank you!! <3

First off, congrats on taking that big step! So, for something like that, especially a 1 minute monologue it'll more come down to your acting choices than the writing. I'd recommend a character who's a little bit off so the shift feels more motivated. Something like Elise from Incendiary, Elizabeth from Alcott, or (though it's a little older), Guenevere from King Arthur's Socks.

Break a leg!

[muscari-melpomene]

Just completed a musical theatre audition intensive! Great experience! Fucking Drained Me! I haven’t seriously danced in like 3 years and I don’t know if I can stand up anymore!

[bestial4ngel]

Probably good I don’t live in the US. Like guns for sale in WALMART?! I 100% would’ve shot myself by now lmfao