#Cole Turner x black!reader

[actually-mentally-ill]

sorry, did you say,

“toxic, dangerous, sexy af and could probably kill me at any given moment if they wanted”?

…

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Knew Best

Description: Cole shows up at your doorstep to take matters into his own hands. He’s not getting Ghosted again.

Pairings: Cole Turner x black!reader

Warnings: minors dni, smut, rough sex, dubcon, forced impreg, daddy kink, nice guy™️, stalking kind of, dirty talk, name calling, misogyny

(A/N: finally a Cole story idc I love his incel ass 😭 please like, reblog with comments, and follow 💜 ✌🏾)

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It wasn’t like you were trying to ignore him. You were just busy.

As far as first date go it’d been pretty good. Nice dating a guy that actually worked with his hands. There was something pretty sexy about it, except you’d checked your phone and he’d really texted you fucking twenty times in two days. Insane.

Like sorry you just didn’t have your phone on you. Not like you didn’t like him. The sex had been good. His dick had been good as hell. Just don’t know if it was worth the obsession.

Ready to just let it go. No dick was worth all that even if your body did remember everything he’d done to you and definitely wanted him to do it again. Not like it was nothing your vibrator couldn’t take care of. Which is why your jaw dropped as you saw him sitting on your doorstep with a little cactus beside him.

“What are you doing here?” You grumbled as you stopped out of the car.

“You haven’t been answering my calls,” was all he said as he stood up. “I got worried.”

Bit your tongue as he got close to you. Taking a step back. “I was away for work,” was your short explanation. Not like you owed him anything else. Or at all really. What you went on one date and put out. That didn’t make him entitled to you. Even if he did fuck you exactly right. Didn’t mean you belonged to him.

He furrowed his brows, eyes scaling up and down your body. Taking in your messy hair and sweats. Clearly hadn’t been expecting to see him. Which is why he took a deep breath trying to let it go. “Can we talk?”

You knew you should have told him to fuck off. First of all you were jet lagged like hell. Couldn’t wait to settle in and take a shower. Get something to eat. Not in the mood for another fuck boy that thought he owned you.

“Nows not a good time, Cole,” you said with a tight lipped smile. Trying to let him down easily.

That’s when he held up the tiny plant. The cute little cactus he’d originally recommended back when you are shopping for houseplants. Had left empty handed when you couldn’t get over what a dick he was until he ended up cornering to ask you on a date. That should have been your first clue.

“Well I wanted you to have it,” he said, “figured that it could at least keep you company since you didn’t want mine.”

“It’s not that-,” you began to say. Biting your tongue again to stop yourself from continuing.

“Then was it?” He asked. “We had a good time. A great time even. The sex was-,”

You know you were there. “I remember,” you told him trying to not set him off. The smoother this went the better. “I’m not saying we didn’t have good time, but-,”

“But what?” He interrupted.

“But,” you repeated yourself, “I told you I have a busy schedule. If you can’t handle that then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“So, that means a text is too much? You’re too busy for texts? Come on, Baby, you know that’s bull shit.”

You raised one of your eyebrows. “Um,” you chuckled. “First of all I don’t have to do anything and second of all will you lower your voice. I don’t need my neighbors hearing you.”

“Then let’s get inside,” he said motioning with his head.

You looked around with a huff. As much as you’d wish he’d buzz off clearly he wasn’t going to go without a fight. “Fine.”

He at least helped you with your luggage as you finally made it through your front door. That cactus still in his hand until he set it down on the end table.

“Look, Cole, it’s not like I was trying to ignore you or anything,” you said turning back to him. “Not at first at least, but then I saw all those messages and-,”

“I know, but what I was worried,” he said. “You should have texted me back and this wouldn’t even be a problem.”

“But I didn’t have to. You realize you’re not my boyfriend, right? We just had sex one time.”

Cole raised an eyebrow as you tried to ignore how fucking handsome he was. That’s how he got you in the first place. Couldn’t deny the man was good looking as sin. Still gave him zero right to act like he owned you.

“Well, maybe that’s my mistake,” he said. “I obviously didn’t make myself clear that you were mine,” he said, snatching you closer by your waist. “You thought I was just going to fuck you and let you go that easily? Fuck no, Baby,” he said. “I bet if I stick my hand in your panties right now you’d be wet for me.”

“Cole-,” you started to say when he did as he said he would. Roughly shoving his hand down the front of your black leggings, past your panties. Checking to see if he was correct. “Cole!” You put your hands against his shoulders trying to push him off.

Except the farmer was much stronger than you. It didn’t really seem to phase him. Instead he grabbed you with his free hands to turn you around so he could whisper in your ear. “Just like I fucking thought. Fucking slut.” Before letting you go. Almost falling forward and only having the table to steady you. “Now go wash up. I like my whores clean when I play with them.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself as you stood under the shower stream. Letting the hot water pulsate against your skin as you tried to wrap your head around what the hell had just happened. If only you could stay under the water forever.

Cole found the tag he’d slipped in your bag, looking at it in his hands. Good you hadn’t seen it. Well obviously. He wouldn’t be here right now if you had.

Sure he’d let the last girl go. Not needing an ounce of her drama, but he’d really really liked you. If it came in clutch for that why wouldn’t it work this time. Sure it had freaked him out a little when you said you traveled for work, but you’d been such a sweet girl. He’d needed that.

Needed someone who wouldn’t mind being barefoot and pregnant. And it’s not like you’d been enjoying all the traveling. Had told him you couldn’t wait until you could settle down more. If anything he was just giving you what you wanted. The two of you could use some stability.

He looked around your place. No a girl like you should not be living alone in an area like this. That’s okay his family’s farm would be perfect for you. Could maybe work on making the back house a little bigger. More room for you and who knows what might happen. He was really up for anything these days.

“Sweetie,” he said, giving the door a sharp knock. You’d been in there for awhile now and he was getting impatient. “Everything ok?”

Not waiting for an answer when he stepped inside. Shoving the shower curtain to the side and making you jump. Naked body looking so pretty all wet.

“Cole!” You gasped, trying to cover yourself with your hands.

“You’re acting like I haven’t seen you naked before,” he said, narrowing his eyes. Not like you were doing a good job of hiding yourself.

You didn’t get the hint to drop your hands so he reached in to pull them away. Frozen in place as he did so. His eyes immediately going to your tits as soon as they were exposed. Fuck you looked so fucking hot like this.

“You almost done?” He asked.

“Um, yeah,” you answered and before you could be reached forward to turn off the shower water. Not skipping a beat as he handed you a towel.

He watched closely as you finished up your face routine. Making idle conversation. Almost like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you even as you went to your drawer to pull out a pair of underwear. “What are you doing?” He asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. “You don’t need panties today.”

“Cole, I-,” but once again he didn’t let you finished speaking as he turned you around to close the drawer.

“You’re only making it worse for yourself, Baby. You know I’m still pissed at you,” he said, grabbing your hand and moving so quickly it made you drop your towel. Goosebumps appearing on your skin at the cold as he took a seat on your bed. Pulling you down so your ass was in the air. “I’m done playing game with you, Y/N,” he growled. His hands coming to caress your ass.

You yelped as his open hand smacked your butt. Making you jump as your head snapped up. Fingers going to your pussy after so he could get a feel.

“Still wet though. I think you like being treated like this. Bet this is exactly what a little whore like you needed, huh?”

“Cole!” You whimpered.

“Nuh uh.” He smacked your ass again. “You know who I am. You let that shit slip the first time I fucked you. You really thought I was just going to met shit go after that? What’s my fucking name?”

You shuddered as his fingers went back to your pussy. Something felt so obscene about the way he was fucking you with his finger. It was definitely a far cry from the tender loving making that had happened the first time around. It was your fault for letting it slip about what you really wanted that time. How you wanted a big strong man to rough you up and fuck you like you were his, but that night he wanted to take his time and you wanted to let him.

“You’re-you’re daddy,” you whimpered giving him what he wanted. The sooner you did the sooner all of this would be over and the sooner you could go to sleep.

“See that wasn’t so fucking hard,” he cooed finally helping to sit you in his lap his large bulge very apparent against your ass. “That’s my good girl. You’re not going to play anymore games huh?”

You shook your head. “No.”

“Good.” He kissed your lips. “I think you need to make it up to me. Get on your fucking knees.”

You nodded as you did what he said while he zipped his pants down. The next day after your first time your friends had made fun of you for walking funny. You’d been thinking about how he good he felt ever since. Maybe that’s why you’d been so disappointed with how possessive he was.

“Open,” he said, his big dick in your face ready for you to suck. Fuck he was so pretty.

You put your tongue against the head licking the dollop of pre-cum at the tip. Welcoming the salty taste before teasing along the head. Taking a long lick from his balls back up and then down and then back up.

“Stop fucking teasing and suck my dick, Bitch,” he groaned putting his hands in your hair so he could put the tip to your mouth not even waiting for the ok as he forced himself in.

Leaving his fist against your head as he bobbed you up and down so your mouth was full of cock. Spit slobbering all over him and drooling out of your mouth. Fuck you felt so good on him. Fuck he hadn’t realized this is exactly what he’d been missing. He’d clearly needed a little fuck toy of a girl to bring home. How was he supposed to let this go.

You coughed around him as he touched the back of your throat. Thick dick feeling like too much and luckily he took mercy on you as he pulled you off which didn’t last long as he pushed back in. “That’s a good bitch. Who’s my fucking cockwhore?”

You tried to respond around him, but it came out a jumbled mess. Which led to another coughing fit only for him to pull you back off.

“What was that?”

“I said, I am,” you sniffled looking like a fucking mess with drool on your face. Beautiful as fuck to him.

He grabbed you by your face to pull you up again. Slapping your ass again before shoving you back on the bed. He wanted to be nice and hard for you but wanted to save all his cum for when he was inside of you. Pretty pussy spread wide open. Ready for him. Fucking soaked.

“You haven’t been fucking anybody else right?”

“No,” you whimpered. “Not since you.”

Cole smirked as he grabbed you by your ankles to pull you to the edge of the bed. “Yeah you fucking knew better huh? You know what would happen if I found out you were letting another man touch what’s mine?” He asked.

“No,” you whimpered.

Cole leaned down to whisper in your ear. Wanting you to hear it. “Good. I’d fucking kill him. You don’t know what I’m capable of, Baby.” With that he pushed inside of you not bothering to wait for you to adjust to him as he pushed into the hilt. Wanting to feel his balls against your perfect ass.

Fuck you fit him like a damn glove. If anything almost too tight. Hell you could barely take one finger he probably needed to open you up more, but he didn’t want to wait anymore. Needed to make a fucking point. 

“Daddy, you’re too big!” You cried scratching his back. See the first time he’d been nice enough to do exactly that when he saw how tight you were. Didn’t want to completely destroy your hole, but today he wanted to wreck it. You wouldn’t even think about pulling some shit like this after. That was his problem he’d been to fucking gentle.

“Fucking take it,” he growled down at you. Sawing himself in and out. Wanting to leave a lasting impression inside of you that would leave you craving more.

He wouldn’t need to worry if he fucked you too stupid to leave. You clenched around him almost forcing him out but he started going a little slower rolling his hips back and forth. “Fuck,” he groaned into your ear. “That’s it. You love daddy’s dick?”

“Yes,” you cried out into his neck. Arms wrapped around him. Face buried into him like you needed him. One leg bent at the knee at his side. The other around his waist pulling him closer.

“Say it,” he demanded. “Fucking say it.”

“I love Daddy’s dick. Daddy’s dick feels so good,” you were sobbing. Already feeling overwhelmed. Something in your brain snapping. It really wasn’t like you hadn’t told him this was exactly what you wanted. If anything it was your fault for being so honest. He was just listening to you. Fuck he felt so good.

Don’t think you ever felt so fucking full before. Didn’t know you could feel this full. The way you could feel him in your stomach why even fight it anymore. Just give in.

“Daddy, yes!” You whined. Trying to spread a little wider. The build up starting to mess with your head as your eyes rolled back to your head.

“There’s my fucking slut. She fucking loves my dick huh?”

“Yes,” you whimpered. “Yes! Don’t stop!”

“You’re not gonna pull that shit again are you?”

“No,” you whimpered. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s a good girl. Who’s pussy is this?”

“It’s your! Daddy, fuck!” You screamed as you came around him pussy pushing him out.

He stroked himself covered in your juices. Watching you as you tried to catch your breath as he sat up on his knees. Not waiting for you to react as he turned you over. Kissing on the back of your shoulder.

Fuck you felt so good bare on his dick. Hated that he had to humor you the first time with a condom even though he badly wanted to rip it off. It was so good being able to fuck you raw.

He pushed back in this time from behind. Gasping into the mattress. He’d brought your hips up, but as he kept going you collapsed bring him with you. Making his body cover yours. Strong chest against your back making you feel small underneath him.

Your brain officially empty as he hit this spot in you. No thought passing through. All you could do was feel. All you knew was him and what he was doing to you.

“Cole,” you moaned his name into your pillow.

He wanted to correct you. Make you call him daddy again, but you crying out his name sounded so fucking good when he was buried so deep inside of you. Moving your ass back against him. He reached up so he could wrap his hand around your neck.

You got tighter around him your next orgasm clearly not too far behind. He was making you feel so damn good. “‘m gonna cum again,” you breathed. “Don’t stop please.”

“I’m not gonna stop, Baby. Want you to cum for me so I can use your pussy as a toy until I cum deep inside of you.”

“What!” You gasped. “N-no. You can’t. You’re not wearing a condom.”

Cole slapped your ass. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” he said, stuffing you full. Pussy squishing around him.

“No-no I’ll get pregnant,” you whimpered.

“Fucking good,” he growled at the idea of it. Your belly swollen with his baby. Then as soon as you were done with one he’d just fuck another one into you. Keep you nice barefoot and pregnant living on the farm. Fuck you’d make such a cute farmers wife.

Fuck even thinking about it. It made him fucking feral. Turned you on your side so he could fuck into you with stronger thrusts. Getting a good grip on your thigh as he twisted you around. “Cole!” You screamed.

“I’m your fucking daddy. Call me daddy, bitch.”

You sobbed out as your orgasm hit you hard. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit this spot inside of you making you spasm.

“Don’t fucking force me out.” He gritted his teeth then groaned. Fuck you felt so good. Fuck. He doesn’t know how he’d lasted this long. Primal instincts taking over as he leaned back over you.

Pulling out to quickly push back in to your overly sensitive pussy. “You,” gasp, “can’t,” gasp, “c-cum i-in-in,” gasp, “m-m-me,” gasp.

He pushed your hands above your head. “I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he said into your ear. “You’re mine and I’m not even going to stop fucking you like this until I know I’ve bred you.“

You hated the way your body reacted to him. Even though your brain was telling him to make him stop it was like your body fucking craved it.

“Fucking beg for it. Beg for my, Baby,” he moaned needing to hear it. “Tell Daddy you want him to put his baby in you.”

Your mouth dropped open and he found himself wrapping his arms around your head. Making sure his chest was to your tits. Snapping into you.

“Fucking say it,” he demanded.

“I wanna- I wanna- give me your baby!” You finally cried. Giving him exactly what he’d been wanting. Too cock drunk too keep up your protests. He was just giving it to you so fucking good. Would a baby really be that bad.

“Y/N, Baby. That’s it, that’s it.” He groaned before biting his lip. Hips falling out of rhythm as he started slamming into you. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Cole’s stomach spasmed as it finally happened. His seed shooting into you deep. Kept moving into you with force until he had nothing left to give. Exactly the way it was meant to be.

��—————————————————-

You looked out the window, watching Cole work from a distance. You have to admit it was at least hot watching him. Life on the farm wasn’t so bad.

You put your left hand against your tummy. Feeling the fluttering of a kick underneath the swell of your stomach. The little boy growing inside of you almost as demanding as his father. Even though you admitted you’d gotten pretty used to it.

Sure everyone thought you were crazy for getting hitched so soon. Had given everyone those when you know you know speeches and even more so when you found out you were pregnant.

“Mama!” The two and a half year old called from the table. Your head snapping over and away. Little Colin keeping you company as you cooked dinner. His crayons in front of him.

Cole had luckily given you a tiny break after the first, but promised you wouldn’t be so lucky after this one. That as soon as the two of you got the go ahead, he’d be putting another one in. You’d be way too busy to even think about working. Not like he wasn’t doing enough to support you. Sales from his book still riding high and the farm seemed to be doing even better lately.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called as soon as he got in the door.

“Dada!” Your son exclaimed getting up to run and hug him.

Your heart thumped as you hadn’t even seen him walking back over. Crinkling your nose at his outdoorsy smell. “Go wash up first,” you immediately said, before he could place a kiss on your lips.

He rolled his eyes but still connected his lips with yours. He was going to kiss his wife whether you liked it or not. “How’s my boy?” He asked ruffling his son’s curly hair.

By the time Cole had gotten back, he’d dressed in sweats and a white t-shirt. The same thing he’d been wearing when you let him get you pregnant this time around. For some reason it just did things to you to see him like this. You couldn’t believe the bar was really so low for you.

Even now your mouth watering at the sight of him. These pregnancy hormones had done a number on you. He knew it too with the way he grabbed your ass when he knew your son couldn’t see and the way he wouldn’t keep his hands off of you after bed time.

“C’mere,” he said as soon as you were alone. Pulling you into his arms so he could place a kiss on your lips. “How’s my son doing?” He asked after pulling away. One of his hands going to your stomach.

“I think he’ll be ready to play soccer when he comes out.”

Cole pouted before kissing you again. “I’m gonna have to talk to him about this,” he teased. “Needs to be good to his mama.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pulled you in close. “Then mama can be good to Daddy.”

You rolled your eyes before smacking his shoulder. “Oh whatever.”

Cole smirked smacking your ass in retaliation. You couldn’t help but moan as you felt the tap vibrate to your pussy not like you needed the reminder that your body had been craving him all day.

“What’s wrong?” He asked when you got quiet.

“Nothing,” you replied. “I just- no it’s nothing. I know you’re tired.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Nuh uh, you better tell me right now.”

“Nothing I just… miss you,” you replied, biting your lip. “My hormones.”

“Ohhh,” he tilted his head back, mouthing opening in a wide ‘o.’ “Why didn’t you just say so, Honey?” He asked, squeezing your butt making you gasp. “You know I’m never too tired for you. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t take care of you whenever you needed, hmm?”

Cole turned you around in his arms so your back was to his front. Hand going to your stomach. Lips going to your neck.

Honestly you can’t believe you almost didn’t want this life, but now that you were in it you weren’t going anywhere.

I haven’t talk much about Cole but the way I’d let his whiny incel ass fuck me with so much force that it almost makes me feel ashamed

[georgiapeach30513]

A Little at a Time, Part 5

Summary:  you can’t quit running into Andy

Pairings:  Andy Barber X Reader

Rating:  explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, PIV sex, loss of virginity, blood, mentions of cheating, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  8.5K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers by @firefly-graphics​

“Uh,” you look over the lengthy menu of the coffee shop. It was more than just a K Cup and CoffeeMate. The menu was extensive, and you just wanted coffee.  Exactly how hard was this supposed to be?  “Well, what would you suggest?”

The girl slumps her shoulders staring at you. “Coffee.”

“Oh, I, um…I like caramel, and…I prefer creamy coffee. Not too sweet. Mamaw always says you’ll rot your teeth if it’s too sweet. Which she always likes drinking sweet tea all day.”

“What kind of coffee do you want?” The girl says shortly.  She definitely wasn’t making this process easier, and still you apologize to her for the inconvenience, and being too dumb to figure out what coffee you wanted.

“Candace!” Another girl steps up behind her. “Please go make yourself useful and make some cold brew. Sorry. She’s…well, she’s just blunt. With very little patience and rarely is up front. Name is Tori. I’m always here. Own the place. What’s the problem sweetheart? Overwhelmed?”

You give her a bit of a nod, and she looks over your body a bit. Smiling as she steps back. “I’m sure you would love some of the seasonal brews, but everybody needs a go to coffee. You look like a caramel girl. Yes?” She was lovely. Much nicer than Candace before her, and it was like she was reading you to determine your perfect drink. “Okay, today, I’m suggesting a caramel macchiato. Don’t be afraid to tell me it doesn’t work. Or are you a tea girl? Judging by that accent I’m guessing it’s the good ole sweet tea, though. You already have the sugar in there?”

“Yeah. Two cups per gallon. I’m more of a one and half cups per gallon, but my Papaw always gives me a side eye. You gotta steep the bags for a long time. Actually I bought me and Mamaw some tea from Ireland, Lyons tea. Have you heard of it?”

“No,” she giggles at you, sliding over a cup of the iced macchiato that another employee had made, and you give it a taste, moaning at how good it was. “I only keep the best beans here. So you’re into hot tea?”

“It’s not terrible. I like a black tea, but herbal tea wasn’t for me. It’s,” she points at a customer behind you, and you raise your cup. Walking over to find a seat. You liked it here. It wasn’t pretentious, and the owner enjoyed having a traditional coffee shop while still trying to have high quality products and trying new things.

You smile, looking out the window. You liked it. You felt comfortable. You pull out a book, casually reading and sipping on your coffee. Settling back in the cozy chair. It smelled amazing here. It was one of the first times you felt comfortable. Apart from any times that the hot Bostonian was around you.

It didn’t make sense that this man you knew very little about had occupied your time so much.  How you couldn’t stop thinking about him, and his kind smile.  It was like he always appeared just when you needed him.  He laughed at appropriate times, and not at you.  Cole always seemed to talk down to you, and you had known him for years.  

You hang your head down low, wondering why you had ever forced yourself to continue in that relationship.  It was comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.  You had made yourself believe that was all you were going to be good enough for, and yet he still made you too uncomfortable to ever be truly intimate with him.  Every time you were intimate it was always him initiating it.  You sniffle, refusing to let yourself cry another damn tear for Cole Turner.  He wasn’t worth it.

Andy steps up to the counter, getting a quick head nod from Tori who was already making his regular brew while he scans the shoppe.  Landing directly at a table for two with you alone, and one cup on the table.  You looked zoned out while reading a book.  Mostly touching your hair, or rubbing the bridge of your nose.  Not paying any mind to anything around you.

“How long has she been here?” He asks Tori, who smiles at him.  “What?”

“She’s a pretty girl.  A bit overwhelmed with coffee.  Talks a lot.  Not from around here,” Andy nods his head, confused as to what point she was trying to make.  “She’s probably just visiting.  Why waste your time?”

“She’s not just visiting.  She’s living here with a cousin,” his eyes go back to you, and you were none the wiser.  He was able to actually look at you.  You didn’t seem miserable to be here.  You were at peace.  “I’m going to talk to her.”

“Uh-huh.  Is that all?” Andy offers a smile as a response.  Grabbing his coffee to walk over to your table.

He stares at your expression, trying to get a better read on you.  Poppy had told him to give you time, but you looked good.  Happier than the first time that he had run into you.  Definitely happier than when you were at the bar.  Clearing his throat, you look up at him.  With the biggest and prettiest smile, “This seat taken?”

“Oh, lord, yeah…I mean, no.  Yeah, sit down.  Sorry,” you bashfully laugh, trying to control your breathing.  “You like coffee?  I mean, of course you do.  Unless that’s tea, is that tea?”

“It’s coffee,” he chuckles, and you have to look away.  Biting at your tongue, and wiping your hands on your pants.  “You come here often?”

“First time actually.  Just a walk down the road.  You know that you guys have everything within walking distance?”

“Poppy does because of the apartment.  There’s houses further out that don’t.  I’m guessing where you’re from, you don’t have that?”

You nearly choke on your coffee, trying to swallow it quickly to answer him.  Wiping off the bit that spilled on the cup, and apologizing, “No, there’s a McDonald’s and a Dairy Queen.  If you want coffee you pretty much have to make it at home.  My Mamaw and Papaw they’re old school with the drip coffee, but I like a Keurig and a milk frother and I think I’m doing something special,” letting out a nervous laugh, you can’t help but to stare into his eyes.  They were beautiful.  That overflowing feeling of kindness and comfort warming you up.

“So what is it that you do Andy?”

“I’m the assistant district attorney, and you?”

“I taught pre-k.  Nothing quite as glamorous as you.  I put in an application at the daycare.  I haven’t heard back from them though.  I really need to find a job.  I’d prefer not to go through all my savings, and I was blowing through a lot with the food delivery.”

“I think working with children is quite admirable.  It can’t be easy,” you shake your head no, starting to giggle.  Why were you like this?  You never could have an easy conversation, but with Andy it was different.  You weren’t trying to be anybody, but yourself..  “Does working with kids make you want them, or make you want to stay far away from them?”

“I’ve always wanted kids.  Having a child or two is different than having twenty or more four year olds in one classroom.  But they’re just little people, you know?  They have their good days and bad days.  They’re still learning right from wrong.  Being introduced to other kids their own age that have been raised differently.  They’re trying to control their big emotions in these little bitty bodies.  Kids don’t confuse me.  Adults do.”

“Hmm,” Andy had never thought about it quite like that.  It made perfect sense.  By the time people were adults they should know right from wrong.  Should know that cheating on your husband was very wrong.  “So…why Boston?”

“My cousin Poppy.  I didn’t want to be in a small town around people who spread false gossip around like a bowl of tater salad at a cookout.  You have the luxury of not everyone knowing your business here.  I know that your inner circle may know, and some outside of that.  But imagine going to a grocery store and people commenting about your relationship.  Or finding out the immense amount of people that he was cheating on you with.  You start questioning maybe I did something wrong, or maybe if I would have done this.  But the fact of the matter is he wasn’t a good person, and he didn’t deserve me, and doesn’t deserve the friendship of his best friend.  Yeah, he told the town I was sleeping with his best friend.  I still don’t understand why he started that.”

“Wow,” you shared too much.  Whatever this was is completely squashed because you shared too much.  “He sounds like an asshole.  How long do you think he was cheating?”

“Too long for me to stay with him.  Out of sight out of mind.  Figured it would eventually stop.  Made excuses that my mind was running all these crazy scenarios only for those crazy scenarios to actually be true.  So I’m the idiot.”

“He came home every night?” You give him a shrug, and Andy isn’t sure what to think.  Did you really not care, or was there something more?

“I didn’t live with him.  He is a cop and had weird hours.  I hate being in a house alone.  I stayed with him a lot, but lived with my grandparents.  Pretty sure a lot of his cheating was while he was working.”

Andy hated this man and he didn’t even know his name, “So…he was engaging in sexual activity while in uniform?”

“He was engaged in sexual activity as a payment to get out of tickets.  So I’ve been told.  Nobody could tell me while I was engaged.  But they like to talk now.”

“That’s illegal.  Bribery is not just frowned upon, but is illegal an punishable.  I’m sorry.  I know, I didn’t do it, but…on the behalf of mankind that does not cheat, and will value a woman’s worth, I apologize.  Not all men are like that, so I don’t want you to walk around here thinking that we are.  Some are just bad.  They’re going to cheat.  Women, too.  I don’t judge future women for what my ex wife did.  That isn’t fair to me, and most certainly not you…uh…other women.”

You catch it, and Andy is fully aware that you caught it.  He noticed your eyes light up at the comment, and he starts to relax more.  He was hoping you would pick up on the fact that he was interested.  Very interested.  He would never treat you the way that Cole did.  He would want to come home to you every night.  “So you didn’t move in with him just because his work schedule?”

“There’s many reasons.  I didn’t want to live with someone before marriage, but then I would stay days at a time.  It was nice, but there was always something, you know?  Something that never felt just right with Cole, and I think subconsciously I knew there was something wrong, so that’s why I never moved in.  Even my Papaw wasn’t the biggest fan, he would talk to anybody.  He just sat there and stared at things when Cole was around, and never looked in his eyes.  That’s a big thing for Papaw.  Mamaw…she’s your typical southern woman.  She just wants to stuff food in your mouth and hear your flattery.  But even she asked me so many times if I really wanted to marry him.  I was so far in, I felt like I had to.  He proposed, so I said yes.  I’ve always allowed people to tell me what I need to do, including not living with someone I wasn’t married to.”

It made sense.  This Cole, that Andy was definitely going to be digging more into, had used your obedience and people pleasing nature to shift things in his favor.  He knew men just like Cole, and he couldn’t stand them.  Here was this sweet woman who was this angelic little ball of radiance.  You were personable, even if you overshared a bit.  You were eager to make friends, or at least with him.  You adapted to your surroundings, and Cole took advantage of that.

He sits across from you, listening to you talk about your hometown, and home life.  Poppy was never quite this forthcoming. Choosing more to forget where she came from, but you spoke of this place like it was what shaped you into who you were, and you were proud of that fact.  There was a fondness when talking about your grandparents especially.

“Wait, your mom?” He asks when you mention her, and you nod your head, finishing up the coffee, “How does she fit in your life?”

“Oh, that always confuses people.  She’s the mayor of the town.  When my dad passed, she put everything into her political life, and had no room to take care of me.  I moved in with Mamaw and Papaw, and she comes by at least once a week, but she didn’t raise me.  I think it was too hard for her.  I remind her of my dad.  And I don’t have daddy issues.  Cole seemed to think I did.  No, Papaw was a good father figure for me.  He took me fishing, taught me how to play string instruments, even though neither of us can read music.  He came to every one of my basketball games, or t-ball.  He was always present, always steady.  I don’t remember my dad, but I remember every time that my Papaw was there for me.  He’d burn the world down if it meant protecting me.  I became his other daughter.”

“I didn’t think you had daddy issues, Papaw sounds like a good man.  Which string instruments?”

“Uhh…the only thing I’m not great at is the banjo.  All those finger picks.  Mandolin is my favorite.  I can play a fiddle.  Papaw used to help me with the stand up bass.  I couldn’t hold it on my own.  Guitar is his favorite though.  They did these picking nights.  Yes, in the south some people pick on their front porch, this is a real thing.  Mamaw can’t play, but she has this big beautiful church voice, you know?  The one that doesn’t need a microphone.  You feel her words in your gut.  It’s beautiful.  Deep and rich.  I don’t hate my childhood or my mother’s need to have someone else raise me.  I had a good life.  My Papaw, he had this thing for buying weird animals.  We had these peacocks that roamed around the yard for awhile, and there was a buffalo.  He was old and they were going to put him down, but Papaw wanted him to live his last days roaming in a pasture with a bunch of cows.”

“Peacocks randomly walking around your yard.  Sounds…interesting.  So you lived on a farm?” You shake your head no, and now Andy was even more confused.  “A pasture of cows?”

“Oh, that was my Papaw’s brother.  The cows were Uncle Sonny’s, but the pasture touched our driveway.  Papaw talked to the cows.  And of course Barry the buffalo,” you were fascinating.  He could sit and talk to you for hours.  Your face is so animated with every bit of information you give him, and he just couldn’t learn enough.  “We always had a ton of mutt dogs.  And they had official names, but Papaw seriously called them whatever name he could think of at that moment.  Peanut and Snickers were his favorite names.  There was a cat, but she was a useless thing.  A few chickens, but he only bought them because they looked cool.  There was a goat in the pasture, and Papaw called him Satan.  Swore that ugly thing was the devil himself.  He just randomly appeared on the porch making a mess of things, or would be on the hood of his truck.”

“Satan makes sense,” you continue talking to Andy, and he listens to every bit.  It was like reading something completely made up.  It was crazy to think people had grown up like this.  You were able to run around completely unattended and barefoot creating stories of far off adventures, and eat apples with peacocks.  

You were able to walk down this country dirt road and explore all day long.  There was this sense of innocence to you, that he couldn’t place, but with a quick glance at his watch seeing the hours that had passed, he didn’t want this to end.

“Oh, lord, I am so sorry.  I could seriously talk the horns off a goat.  I’m sure you had something you needed to do.  I just sometimes forget all that part of my life.  It’s nice to relive my childhood.”

“You’re fine, honestly,” adorable is what you are.  From the way you talked right down to your sweet accent, you were adorable.  “I’ve loved this.  I, uh…I don’t want to seem forward or anything, but I would like to continue this.  Over drinks or something?”

“Wait…are you talking about a date?”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, but it doesn’t have to be something like that at all.  It can be two people who enjoy talking, and someone wanting to show another someone the city of Boston.”

“No!” Andy laughs when you practically shout at him.  You wanted to explore something more romantic.  This was nice, but Cole never wanted to date.  It was always wanting to get you home, and hoping that with enough making out you would actually have sex with him.  He had fallen in love with your body, but not your mind.  “I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Okay.  So…uh, Friday night at seven work?  Poppy’s bar?  It doesn’t get rowdy until around nine.  Nobody is eating food and everyone is drinking at that time, but I promise the food is amazing.”

“Okay.  Yeah.  Yes…yes, Andy, I think dinner sounds lovely.  Seven?  Friday?  I can do that.”

“I look forward to it,” it was a quick motion, but he lays his hand over top of yours, and you can’t help but to preen up at him.  Andy takes a quick look at your beaming face, having to say goodbye again, because his heart was fluttering.  It felt like a school age crush all over again.

“Poppy!” Your cousin runs into the bedroom that you had been occupying, and immediately starts laughing.  “Help.”

“Where are you going on a Friday night?  I’m off tonight, I thought we were going to…Peach Blossom, this is date clothes.”

“Yep,” you agree, pulling something else out of the closet, before tossing it on the bed.  “Help me.”

Poppy cocks her hip to the side, looking you up and down.  Gauging your demeanor to see if you looked uncomfortable or just nervous, and then back to the clothes.  A new pink Victoria’s Secret bag on the opposite of the floor.  When you catch her looking, you slide it closer to the bed, hoping she didn’t actually see what she thinks she saw.

“Who?”

“Uh, don’t hate me.  But you know that guy I kept telling you I was running into?” Smiling, she nods her head, “Well, his name is Andy.”

“Andy what?”

“Um…I didn’t get that part, but he’s the assistant district attorney, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find, right?  Anyways.”

“Did you actually check?  I mean, is there an Andy that’s the ADA?” You shake your head no, starting to reach for your phone.  “I mean, how do we know anything this man has ever said?  What if it’s all a lie?” She was right.  How did you know?  How did you know anything?  You had seen this man at a grocery store twice and at a coffee shop.  

“Well…I shouldn’t go on the date then?” Poppy wants to keep the charade up a little bit longer, but the look in your eyes when you start to think about canceling was almost hurting her darkened heart.  It was a look she hadn’t ever seen you make when talking about someone you were engaged to.  “But…he seems really nice.  He was just recently divorced.  And we were at the coffee shop for about four hours talking.”

“You talked to that man for four hours?  About what?”

“Things.  Life things.  Like growing up in Georgia, and…Poppy, I really like him.  If I can prove that he is in fact an ADA do you think, honestly, that it would be okay?  Like surely if he works for the government he wouldn’t kill me right?  Or…Poppy!” You scream at her when she starts laughing.  She always had an easier time talking to men.  She exuded sex appeal.  Was a natural flirt with the prettiest lashes, puffy lips, even beauty marks that looked faked.

“Andy Barber is in fact the ADA, you’re fine.”

“You…you know him?” You ask, slinging a shirt at her.  “You know this man, and you made me have second thoughts, because I felt he was going to kill me?  You’re…you’re mean.”

“Ooh, shot to my heart.  And you’re naive.  I just want you to be careful.  Your track record of one boyfriend and one fiancé, and they’re both the same person just doesn’t do you any favors, but,” her fingers begin lifting up different pieces of your clothing, before pairing the perfect outfit for you, “Andy is genuinely a good guy.  He comes to the bar sometimes.  Came a lot after divorcing Laurie.  That’s how we met.  He helped me out with my…well, he helped me press charges, and…this isn’t the time to talk about this because you have a date.  And he’s a good man.  He was there the night you were at the bar asking about you.”

“And you led me on like that?  I can’t believe you, we’re supposed to be cousins and friends.  I really like him.  Like I like him more than I ever liked…Pops, can I be honest with you?”

“Does it have something to do with that bag of what I’m assuming is new lingerie?” You hate to admit it, but there was no denying the fact that you had bought lingerie just for this evening.  It wasn’t overly revealing, and should things not work out, you could still see yourself wearing it.  “Can we openly talk about yours and Cole’s relationship?” You nod your head, knowing that eventually this was going to come up.  “What happened?”

“When we started dating, I did have that whole save yourself for marriage mentality because that’s what the pastor said.  That continued, but then…the first time he touched me I liked it.  But he scared me.  Not like he ever hurt me, but I didn’t trust myself with him.  He always wanted things to move so fast, and never wanted to just talk and get to know each other, and then it got to the point of me saying, well, I’ve already done this, might as well do more, but I never wanted to have sex with him.  He wasn’t special enough.”

“But you were willing to marry him?  Got that big fancy dress.”

“His mom insisted on that dress.  But…I don’t know if I ever wanted to give him that part of me.  It was like in the back of my head he never thought I was that special.  I fit his idea of a wife.  I would look good as the future sheriff’s wife.  But I think we were two people that were just going through the motions.”

“And you think Andy is that person?” The big questions.  You weren’t positive by any means, but positive enough to get something nice for the occasion.

“I don’t know.  What I do know is I have talked to Andy more in the few hours we’ve been together than the three years Cole and I were together.  I don’t know if Cole ever listened to me.  If he did he would have made me feel comfortable around him.  He always wanted to push my boundaries.  Always wanted pictures, or videos, and I just wanted to talk.  He only wanted to talk if it led to, well you know.  With Andy, he listens, I feel comfortable, and I don’t have those reservations.  I just want things to happen as they will.”

“I’m not going to give you a curfew, but I want you to at least communicate to me what’s happening.  Like if you’re going to his house, tell me.  You’re not losing your virginity in this apartment.  I’m not listening to that shit.  You could do a lot worse than Andy.  Hell, you have.  Peaches, I envy you,” you didn’t understand where this was coming from, because it was Poppy you had always envied.  You wished you had her tenacity and her ability to not take shit off no one.

“You had this charmed life with Mamaw and Papaw.  You knew what you wanted, and that was your perfect house with the white picket fence, two to four kids because you didn’t want your kids to be only children.  A cute little dog that kept your kids rounded up and happy, and for some unknown reason you like people in power.  Like Cole, the police officer, and now Andy.  Hell, didn’t you used to have a crush on that one guy that became a fucking lawyer?  You have always known what you wanted, and I wanted it all and wanted to try it all.  What I’m saying is I see now how you wanted everything perfect, but just remember there’s no such thing.  It’s okay to make mistakes, because you will always get back up.  You will not let those mistakes drag you down.  So go out and make mistakes.  Because we’re Jackon’s, we always figure it out.”

“You think Andy is a mistake?”

“I think not going and thinking too much is a mistake.  Have fun with Andy.  Judging by your bag, have too much fun.  If it feels right, it’s right.  But don’t rush it either.  If you’re having second thoughts, I promise that man ain’t going anywhere.  He’ll wait on you,” while you had always been closer to Anna Kate, she always had the ability to agree with you, but Poppy told you what you needed to hear.  And you loved her for that.  The wild child of the Jackson granddaughters.

“Thanks.  I’m going to enjoy myself.”

“You don’t like wine?” Andy asks, laughing when you grimace from the taste.  “You liked what I suggested the other day.”

“Can I have that again?  I’m sorry that was rude,” you hold the glass up, looking at it, and feeling so bad.  “What is this?”

“A merlot.  Quit trying to apologize to me, I suggested it, and you tried it.  You don’t like it, and that’s fine.  What do you normally drink?”

“One old fashioned.  I’m honestly not big on drinking.  I get…I’m friendly,” he holds a hand up for the waitress, asking for her to bring out two old fashioneds.  “You didn’t have to do that.”

“We’re enjoying our food and drinks tonight.  So no dry wines for you.  Old fashioned, huh?  Whiskey.  It’s true what they say about southern women.”

“Not always.  Poppy likes vodka.  My Papaw is the whiskey and bourbon drinker.  Mamaw doesn’t drink.  You drink what you know.  When Poppy, Anna Kate, and I were little we’d sneak to the cellar and get a bottle of Jack Daniels.  No, it wasn’t a big wine cellar.  It was this creepy underground bunker type thing.  You had to walk past this crooked tree.  There was this gnarly stick that kept the door closed, but eventually it was a lock because Papaw’s liquor kept going missing.  Mamaw said we shouldn’t be drinking, but Papaw gave us the key.  We earned a drink after walking past that old shed that had all these pigeons in there and that crooked tree.  I always said it was poisoned, and if you touched it you would be cursed.”

“Did you ever touch it?”

“Hell no.  I believed that.  Didn’t stop us from sneaking down in there.  What about your childhood?”

“Single mother.  Not much to talk about.  I’m more curious about yours.  It seems so…almost made up, but I have no doubts you were doing all of this.  Lived on a dirt road, never saw cars coming down the road unless they lived down it.  It sounds beautiful.”

“You can walk to the house my grandpa grew up in.  It’s more a shack than anything.  There’s no power lines, because he didn’t grow up with electricity.  No running water.  It’s falling down now, but that place held magical powers, too.  It’s funny the things we take for granted, like being able to bathe when you want to.  Being able to take a drink without making sure the buckets were filled with spring water.”

“I’d like to see it someday.”

“I’d like to show you.  Sorry,” you answer too quickly, ruining the moment when your foot knocks on Andy’s.  “I’m such a clutz.”

“Keep it there,” oh boy.  You were feeling things.  Feeling things you had never felt for Cole.  Things that you had thought you would only feel for your husband, but Andy was proving that all wrong.  You were thankful for this tight seating, and Andy’s ability to rub his fingers on your knee.  

A surge of heat rushes to your core, and you feel like you can no longer breathe.  This was very different with Cole, because you want more.  “You okay?” You give Andy a headnod, pepping yourself up to breathe.  Just breathe.  

“Is it hot in here?  Are you hot?” Andy smiles, shaking his head.  You were completely flustered, and it made you more adorable.  Reaching for a glass of water, you take a big sip, and when his hand starts sliding away, you slam your own hand over his, “No, I like it.”

“Okay.”

“I like it too much,” your eyes go wide with your admission.  How was he able to make you feel comfortable, and yet so nervous at the same time?  “I hate myself.”

“It’s fine.  Come here,” you stand up from your side of the table, moving to sit next to him, and he picks up your hand, placing it over his heart.  It was beating out of his chest just like yours.  “You’re not the only one, okay?  It’s like every time I’m around you, this…this is what I feel.”

“I feel my heart pounding…all over,” you cuss under your breath, because you shouldn’t have told him that.  He did not need to know everywhere that you could feel your pulse.  Instead of his hand being on your knee it was much higher on your thigh.  His thumb caresses your leg, but it stays properly over your skirt.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.  It’s perfectly fine.”

“You should drink your old fashioned.  Please, keep talking.”

“And then what happened?” Andy asks, leaning in closer to you.   It was getting late, and you could already hear the amount of people that was piling into the bar.  But it was just a low hum.  The only thing that mattered was Andy beside you.  His head starts to tilt, and you rush towards his lips.  You didn’t care about that careful build up because your body was aching with a need to touch him.

He slots his mouth against yours, and the kiss was an immediate connection.  It seemed silly, but you could feel sparks flying.  Lips parting as his tongue slides past your lips, gasping when it touches your own.  Your body arches into his, and the hand that has been resting at your side travels up.  Far enough up for his thumb to graze over your nipple, and you pull away from him, gasping for air.

“A-A-Andy?” You had to have been drunk off his lips, because what you were thinking in this moment is nowhere near what you normally would, but it felt right.  “I don’t wanna stay here anymore.”

“Oh?  I’m not quite sure I follow.  Did…did I do something wrong?”

“Is there somewhere quiet to go?  Like…”

“My place?” You nod your head enthusiastically, and Andy lays down a hundred dollar bill to cover well over the food, drinks, and tip.  The two of you standing up, walking hand in hand out to the car.  

The further away you get from the bar, the closer you lean into him, but Andy also couldn’t get enough.  There was not enough time to touch you like he wanted to.  Calculating in his head the amount of time it was going to take to drive you to his house, but he was going to make the most of it.  

Every traffic light had him pulling you back in for a kiss.  Hating he had to keep his eye on the light, before the two of you would look back out the windshield.  His hand that rests on your leg, was dangerously high.  He could feel the heat coming off your cunt.  Feeling like a furnace that was radiating a blaze of arousal to his hand.  You needed relief.  He could almost smell how wet you were, and he wanted this night to last on into the morning.  

Pulling into the garage, he rushes to your side of the door.  Crashing his lips against your own as he struggles to open the door.  The two of you hit and knock over too many things off the wall and counter until he stops in the living room.  Waiting on you to decide where to go from there.  Your chest heaves with a fervent need to have him all over your body, but also wanting to catch your breath.  

The couch looks comfortable, so you back him up on it.  Letting him fall to the cusions when you ruck up your skirt, and crawl over him.  Having to pick up his hands to place on your body, “You’re okay with this?” He asks in between kisses.

“Just touch me,” and he does.  He touches you all over.  Squeezing and groping.  Smoothing over your skin, and before you know it he was sucking bruises on your neck, while your body grinds over him, and you moan at the feeling of his cock growing harder under you.  You hate comparing things to Cole, but you had never felt like this.  

Andy’s fingers were capable, but still he gives you a moment to decide if you wanted to continue.  When he realizes you weren’t objecting, he continues his motions in that spot on your body.  Exploring every inch of your supple skin.  It isn’t until his finger slides up and down your drenched and brand new panties, that you gasp, stopping your body.

Andy throws both hands up, panting as he stares at you, “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, I thought…thought that’s where we were going.  I’m…I didn’t mean to.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” you smile, slowly rolling your hips on him.  “I liked it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm,” grabbing the hemline of your blouse, you pull it over your head, and he gets to stare at your pretty little new underwear.  It framed your curves perfectly.  Andy’s hands slide up and down your thighs, causing your kiss swollen lips to tremble.

“Will you tell me if we’re going too far?”

“Yes.”

“You promise?”

“Yes.”

“So, if I do this,” his hand dips back in between your thighs, letting his thumb rub over your soiled panties.  “You like that?” You nod your head, and he slips his hand under the panties.  Pulling the gusset out far enough that he was just feeling your slick on the lace.  “You’ve made a mess for me.”

When he allows his thumb to touch your skin, your eyes close, rolling back in your head, and you let out a deep pornographic moan.  “You like this?”

“Uh…huh,” squeaking out your words when he touches your bundle of nerves.  Giving the little pearl flicks.  Removing his hand, he circles both around your hips.  Readjusting you, and leaning you back so he gets a clear view of your covered and weeping cunt.  

Moving aside your panties, he stares at your folds, before looking back up at you.  Two fingers push into your warmth, and he stares intently as your jaw goes slack.  Your fingers dig into his skin as he scissors into you, “You have a tight little pussy.  Are you still doing okay?”

“Andy…Andy,” you whimper his name as he slowly pumps into you.  He was getting off on your pleasure, and still you wanted more.  “I want you.  I want you!” His fingers drive into you faster, curling up.  Hitting over your spot over and over until your toes curl.  Feelings that you had never felt before.  Body tensing up as he works you over.  Screaming out his name until your juices were pouring out of you, and you couldn’t focus.  The room was blurry and spinning around.  

You grab at his wrist, and he stops completely.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”

“Do what?” Andy gives you a devilish smirk.  Whoever you were with before did not know how to properly care for you if he could never make you squirt like that.  “Peaches, what did you do?”

“I think…oh god, I think I peed.  It’s not funny.  I’m sorry.”

“Sweetheart, has peeing ever made you feel that good?  If it has, I'm very jealous of your bathroom habits.  Honey, have you never squirted?” You shake your head no, because your body most definitely had never done that before.  “What you did was nothing to apologize about.  So…what do you want to do now?”

“You?”

“You want to do me?” Now would be a perfect time to let him know you were a virgin, but you didn’t want him to take things slower.  You were committed to it being tonight.  You wanted Andy.  It felt right.  There was nothing even remotely telling you to slow down.  He made you feel safe, and made you desire more.  

“Yes.  In the bed?”

Letting you stand up, he grabs at your hand, leading you into the bedroom, when he turns around to kiss over your sticky skin.  Hands behind your back when your bra drops to the floor.  Grabbing a handful of your tit, he lets his greedy mouth suck on you.  You shimmy out of your skirt, and reach towards his pants.  Nervously starting to undo his button.  Letting the jeans sink to the floor when you palm his boxer briefs.  

His breath comes out labored, and he just rips his button up off while you gaze at the thick cords of muscles that made up his arms and chest.  Leading you to the bed when he removes his underwear.  You glance down at his thick and heavy cock, and have never wanted nothing more.  Staring up at him through your lashes when you back up on the bed.  Setting in the center, and stare at Andy.  He was a god among men.

Andy reaches into a drawer beside the bed, and pulls out a foil packet.  Bringing it to his mouth his teeth clench as he rips it open.  Blowing the excess out of his mouth before rolling the latex on his fat cock.  Placing his knee on the bed, when he looks at you.  Not your body, but you.  “You sure?”

“Yes,” you whisper, and he crawls closer to you.  Adjusting your legs wider to accommodate him and his broad body.  Andy runs his fingers through your slit, changing to bring his tip to tease at your entrance.  Watching your face as you nod.  Staring at only him when he pushes into your tight channel, making your back arch into him.  You wouldn’t cry, and you wouldn’t scream, but he had set you on fire.  

“Fuck.  Fuck.  You’re so fucking tight.  Shit.  What…this is going to come off rude,” Andy struggles to breathe right along with you.  Drawing his hips back, when he shoves himself back in.  “Was…fuck…was he that small?” You laugh despite wanting to do other things.  Trying not to cry even though it stung like hell. Every movement he made was worse than the one before.

Gripping at his back when he really starts thrusting into you.  It stung.  There was such a fullness to his girth inside your virginal cunt that it overwhelmed you.  Nothing could have prepared you for this.  “Andy…Andy.”

“Fucking hell,” he leans up a bit, seeing the tears in your eyes as he slows down.  Looking down at where the two of you connect to see his cock wrapped in blood.  “Oh my god.  What happened?  Are you okay?  Did I do something?”

“I’m fine.  Just keep going.”

“You’re bleeding.  Did you start your period?  What…?” You lift up to your elbows, horrified.  He had you so stretched out.  No wonder it was slightly painful.  You drop down on the bed, mortified.  “What is wrong?”

“I’m a…well, I was, I guess this is official, but I was a…uh, well, you see…you’re my first person.  This is the first time.  I was a virgin.”

“Oh,” Andy is a bit relieved, and a bit bothered you wouldn’t just tell him.  “You…you didn’t think to tell someone?  I mean, I just assumed.  You said you stayed for days with deputy douche bag, and you never had sex?” You shake your head no, still covering your eyes.  You couldn’t look at him.  “Why?  And please, just look at me.  I’m inside you, I don’t think things get more intimate than this.”

You slowly let your hands fall to the bed below, looking up at Andy.  Things weren’t feeling quite so uncomfortable anymore.  Your pussy was adjusting to his width, and you were beginning to love the way the pressure felt, and even more how close he was to you.  This was awkward, and still so very right.  Even as he starts to pull out, you hold onto him, “Please don’t.  I wanted to wait for marriage.”

“Okay, this…this doesn’t make me feel good.”

“No.  With him.  I went in thinking that’s what I should do, but all those years later, I still never felt comfortable enough to actually have sex.  I was beginning to even dread the wedding night.  I was using the excuse of waiting until marriage, because I didn’t want to fuck him.  But with you…Andy, I wanted this.  I wanted you.  I’m not saying we have to get married.  I’m saying I wanted this.  I wanted you, and I wanted you to have this.  I felt more comfortable with you than with someone who I had slept with, not sex, but slept beside, and held.  I just didn’t want to have sex with him.  I didn’t trust him.”

“If you would have told me…”

“You would have made me wait,” he shakes his head no, smiling down at you.  You were completely right.  He would have made you wait.  He would have enjoyed taking you apart slowly.  “Yeah, you would.  You’re that kind of a guy.  One date wouldn’t have been a long enough time.”

“I could have taken time with you.  I could have used my fingers to stretch you out a bit more.  I could have taken the time, and kissed on you a bit more, tasted you.  Slid into you slower, or hell I don’t even know, realize what I had laying in my bed.  You deserve more than you were given and if that jackass ever pushed you and made you feel like he was owed this, I’m sorry, but I think you deserve more than I just gave you, too.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not mad.  This wasn’t some romance movie moment, but tonight has been the best night of my life.  I came home with you because I like talking to you, and I like the way you make my body feel.  I came home with you thinking that just making out would be plenty, but I did want this.  I like the way you make me feel, yes, but I love the way you treat me.  I barely know you, and still feel like I’ve known you my whole life.  I don’t regret tonight.  No part of it, maybe the not telling you part.  But this feels nice, no?”

“This feels a lot better than nice.  I just wish…”

“I don’t need a bed of roses because those wither away.”

“That sounds familiar.”

“It's a country song, anyways, I want you.  And this moment.  I want you to fuck…make love…have sex, whatever to call it.  I want to feel you all over my body. Please…please just — I want this Andy, I want to feel you take control over my body,,” with a deep breath, Andy slowly pulls himself out of you, and slowly sinks back in.  “Andy, are you clean?”

“Yeah.”

“So am I.  Just don’t come in me.”

“You say that now,” he whispers, pulling himself completely out of you.  Looking at your tight but gaping hole.  He pulls off the condom, touching his tip at your entrance with a moan.  “I do not care what you say or beg of me I will not put my cum in you, and I mean that.”

“Okay.  Just…holy shit,” hands on his back, you scratch down the muscled skin as he pushes through your entrance.  This was such a different feeling.  Skin on skin.  Everything became more sensitive, more intimate.  And he doesn’t stop until he is fully sheathed into your wet heat.  Settling his weight over you.  Using his fingers to push back your hair as he starts a slow and steady pumps.  

“Uh…uh,” a round of whimpering squeaks exit your mouth, and you want to close your eyes, and want to keep staring up at him.  “Andy…An — dy.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore.”

“And it feels good?”

“So good.  So — good.  Oh!” He picks up the pace.  It had been so long since he had someone like this.  He couldn’t remember when he was able to fully feel what they felt like from the inside.  He never trusted Laurie.  But you were freely giving him every part of you.  Every part of you was gripping him tightly; hand on his back, legs around his waist, and your cunt was making it hard to breathe.  You were perfect.

He would have made you wait.  You deserved that, but this was better than he could have imagined.  Your perfect little whimpers, and the way your nails dig into his skin when he hits a certain spot just.  Right.  There.  Lifting your back off the bed, you and him were so close, and fused together.  

“Yeah.  Yeah, you like the way I make you feel, huh?”

“Uh-huh.  Andy…”

“You wanna try being on top?  From behind?” You shake your head no, you didn’t want Andy to leave you for any second.  “Okay, just this once.  You’re gonna have to be a good girl and try other positions eventually, okay?”

“Okay.  Andy…Andy.  I’m…”

“Trust me, I can fucking tell.  You’re doing such a good job.  Have you stretched out and full of me.  Got you right….right…right…fucking — there,” your cunt clenches down tight.  Too tight for Andy to even move.  He lets you ride out your high.  Your eyes were deep dark pools of lust as you gaze owlishly up at him.  Still panting with tears leaking out of your eyes as he pulls completely out of you.  Wrapping his hand around his girth, fisting himself before spurting his thick cream up your stomach.  

Giving a glance down to your ruined cunt when he rubs over your sensitive bean, “How are you feeling?”

“Overwhelmed,” Andy stares up at his spend laying on your body before gathering it up.  Rubbing your clit with the mess, and you sit up.  Moaning at his motions, but also everything else, “What…Andy, what are you doing?”

“Sperm dies outside of the body in about two minutes.”

“Do you always do this?” He shakes his head no, and he wasn’t lying.  He had never wanted to see his spunk leak out of anyone more than you.  Had never yearned to see someone’s cum mix with his own. “Do you want me to go home?”

“I’d prefer you stayed right there.  I need to take care of you.  Clean you up.  Make sure you rehydrate.  Snuggle you.  Smell you.”

“And have sex again later?”

“No.  We’ll do this again,” he slaps at your pussy before standing up, and waddling to the bathroom.  “You’ll need a moment to rest.”

“We could try?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m interested in just a tight pussy.  Tomorrow, breakfast in bed.  We’ll go to the park or something.  Watch a movie.  Doesn’t matter.  Just…” he walks back into the bedroom with a warm washcloth.  Pressing it up against your tender sex, and moving up to wipe himself off you.  “We can just enjoy each other.”

“But I want to have sex with you again,” you beg, tears forming in your eyes. You were going to be trouble.  Your legs were still spread as if he was laying in between them.  Your hole was spread so wide, but it was those pouting eyes.  You had fully trusted him, and was pleading for more.  Your pussy showed the signs of him having been seated so deep inside of you.  

And it was like you wanted him to have a front row seat to view it. He doubted you were quite as cunning as that. There was still this confusion of not knowing of what to do.  Judging by your conversations, you wanted the same things that Andy wanted out of life.  Essentially a perfect match.

Andy had to remember that the two of you were still new.  He didn’t want to jump in too deep into this relationship, but he could see something becoming more real.  He did not feel things this passionately with Laurie.  Didn’t have this strong desire to protect her, stay with her, and dote on her like he did you.  She didn’t even want kids.  Lied to him from the beginning about that.  

You sigh softly, curling into his chest, and he holds you so tight.  He should have known the second he pushed through your entrance that you were a virgin.  The shock on your face, and biting at your lip as your eyes fill with tears.  You were something he hadn’t felt before.  Petting his hands up and down your back, he knows he could keep you like this forever.  

“Andy, I don’t believe in dating around.”

“Don’t worry,” he takes a deep gulp.  “I’ve only got time for one person, and she’s laying in my arms,” there was a soft giggle that vibrates his chest, and he pulls you even closer to him.  He is sure there would be hell to pay with Poppy tomorrow, but right now, he just wanted to bask in the loss of your innocence glow.  The way you randomly kissed over his chest, and your fingers tickle his belly.  He could get used to this.  He never wanted you to leave.  He knew he needed to chill, but he was also going to let you decide what you wanted to do, and it did not appear that you wanted to be anywhere but in his arms. And he was not complaining.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season​ @marveloustaylortot​ @pono-pura-vida​ @sstan-hoe​ @softsatnin​ @missusbarnes-rogers​ @peaches1958​ @seitmai​ @smile1318​ @andydrysdalerogers​ @kittycatcait219 @sarahdonald87​ @patzammit​ @elrw24​ @redbloodedgurl​ @cjand10​ @calwitch​ @sebsgirl71479​

[jamneuromain]

bestie for your bingo challange could you write wedding + cole turner? with him being very excited and happy to finally marry his girlfriend 👉🏻👈🏻

Hi Bestie! Hope you'll enjoy this <333

Breathe In

Cole Turner x You (Reader)

Warning: Fluff, Wedding

W/C: 1.1k

Summary: Cole was marrying you and he feared that things won't go as planned ... or would they?

A/N: My second entry to the bingo challenge hosted by @the-slumberparty.

“For the 11th time today, everything will be alright.” Todd sighed heavily as he gripped Cole firmly on the shoulder, “Stop shaking, you look as if you are about to pass out.”

Cole’s face was pale as chalk. He fidgeted his center, sweating again on his forehead, his breath shallow and rushed. “Did you have the ring with you?” He asked Todd for the 12th time today.

“Right here in my palm, bro.” Todd showed Cole his left fist. A black velvety box was seated in his hand. “Calm down. She’s about to walk through that door any minute and we can’t have you sweat through your suit.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Don’t mention it.” Todd pursed his lips, having an idea quickly spinning in his head, “Though if anyone asks, I call dibs on Lyla. I’m asking her out tonight.”

“The bridesmaid?”

“Hey, it only makes sense.” Todd grins, winking at Cole, “I’m the best man, after all.”

Cole understood that Todd was joking about it to help him feel more at ease. He’s truly grateful to have his best friend by his side during the biggest event of his life.

Todd shoved Cole on the shoulder, and Cole knew that was the signal of the bride entering.

The murmuring guest behind them dialed down to a halt. Followed by rustling noises of friends and family getting up from their chairs to watch you walk down the aisle with you mother.

You, the bride.

You must be wonderful today.

“Breathe, Cole. Don’t suffocate yourself.” Todd spoke from the corner of his mouth, looking at the church gate.

Breathe. Right.

Cole held his breath for a few seconds, before slowly breathing through his nose.

With the corner of his eyes, Cole saw that the wedding band started playing the song Bridal Chorus.

Cole closed his eyes. He tried to imagine you in a white gown, approaching him with your mother by your side. But his brain failed him, failing to present a picture of you in white, since both your parents forbade you to see each other before the wedding. Not to mention your wedding dress.

However, his brain did provide a picture of his asthma acting up. Also the picture of turning to take your hand but tripping one foot with another. And also the picture of him forgetting his wedding vows. And also-

Todd cleared his throat, pulling Cole’s wandering thoughts back to reality.

“Cole,” He heard your mother, turning on his steady feet.

You look … amazing.

His breath hitched in his throat.

The thin lace veil did nothing to cover up your beauty. It made you dreamier. Like a fairy fallen from the sky. Covered in snow. The long skirt dredging around your feet, leaving a train behind your back. And the bouquet in your hands, delicate yellow roses with lavender. The tiniest bit of color that made you come to life.

As if, with a single breath, he would wake up from this beautiful dream.

“Hi.” You whispered; a shy smile crept up your lips.

“Hi.” Almost breathless. Cole felt like out of air, like his asthma was about to attack-

“Take care of her for me, Cole.” Your mother choked out. Tears gathered and threatened to spill from her eyes. A tough woman who once told you to keep a straight face to every obstacle in life, on the verge of crying at your wedding.

You blinked your eyes to make the tears go away.

“I will, Ma’am.” Cole shook your mother’s hand with a firm grip, nearly tearing up too, “I will take care of your daughter.”

Your mother handed you to him, before heading back to her seat.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to join together this man and this woman…”

The priest’s words fell on deaf ears. All Cole could feel was your fingers interlaced with his, your smile, your twinkling eyes, and the beautiful wedding dress.

He probably shouldn’t, but he whispered, “You look stunning.”

“You look handsome too.” A small chuckle escaped your lips, squeezing his hand.

You were lost in each other’s gaze.

“Ahem, vows.” Todd cleared his throat.

Cole thought Todd was going to have bronchitis by the end of the wedding if he keeps clearing his throat. “Yes, vows.” Cole hastily pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, however, with only a few seconds of thought, put the paper back where it came from.

He could barely contain the smile on his face. To be honest, he wasn’t making any effort for it either. Watching you in front of him, he didn’t need any encouragement, or subject to any wedding jitters. You were all that he needed.

“I uh- prepared a whole speech about how I am grateful for having you in my life.” Cole took a deep breath, as the guests hummed or smiled, “But seeing you, no words could describe my feelings and my luck, as I know, that I am going to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.”

A few sniffs came from the front row. No doubt it was your mother dabbing her tears with a handkerchief.

“You’re the most beautiful, smart, and kind-hearted person that I have ever met in my life. And it’s an honor, to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” Cole continues, pouring his emotions into his vows, “I promise I’ll do all the heavy-lifting-” The crowd burst into laughter. “-and try my best not to do anything annoying in your dreams.” Another fit of laughter. “I’ll cuddle you before bed and when we wake up in the morning, that is, if I can get up before you do.”

“Oh, Cole,” you were blinking so hard, temporarily let go of his hand to fan yourself. The effort you made trying not to let tears ruin your make-up and your eyeliner left your face warm, and kept heating up, as Cole went on his list of promises.

“I had in my mind to say that I’ll promise never to make you cry, but I’m already failing at that.” Cole teased you as a trail of tears fell from the corner of your eyes, “However, I promise I’ll try to make them happy tears. Even though your mother will hate me for whatever tears that you spill.”

Your instinct was to cover your mouth when you chuckle. Though you were reminded of the thin veil between your face and your hand.

“Y/N, you have been the best thing that happened to my life.” With a deep breath, the three important words rolled off his tongue, “I love you.”

Find my The Slumber Party Present Bingo Challenge here 👈

Questions? Comments? Requests? 👉Send them to my inbox 👂

[bookclub4m]

35 Non-fiction Graphic Novels by BIPOC Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

This Place: 150 Years Retold

Zodiac: A Graphic Memoir by Ai Weiwei with Elettra Stamboulis & Gianluca Costantini

Nat Turner by Kyle Baker

The Talk by Darrin Bell

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui

I’m a Wild Seed by Sharon Lee De la Cruz

Messy Roots: A Graphic Memoir of a Wuhanese American by Laura Gao

Stamped from the Beginning: A Graphic History of Racist Ideas in America by Joel Christian Gill and Ibram X. Kendi

Wake: The Hidden History of Women-Led Slave Revolts by Rebecca Hall and Hugo Martinez

The 500 Years of Resistance Comic Book by Gord Hill

Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacob

The American Dream? A Journey on Route 66 Discovering Dinosaur Statues, Muffler Man, and the Perfect Breakfast Burrito: a Graphic Memoir by Shing Yin Khor

Banned Book Club by Kim Hyun Sook, Ryan Estrada, and Ko Hyung-Ju

In Limbo by Deb J.J. Lee

This Country: Searching for Home in (Very) Rural America by Navied Mahdavian

Mexikid: A Graphic Memoir by Pedro Martín

Monstrous: A Transracial Adoption Story by Sarah Myer

Steady Rollin': Preacher Kid, Black Punk and Pedaling Papa by Fred Noland

Citizen 13660 by Mine Okubo

Your Black Friend and Other Strangers by Ben Passmore

Kwändǖr by Cole Pauls

Worm: A Cuban American Odyssey by Edel Rodriguez

Power Born of Dreams: My Story is Palestine by Mohammad Sabaaneh

A First Time for Everything by Dan Santat

Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood by Marjane Satrapi

Grandmothers, Our Grandmothers: Remembering the "Comfort Women" of World War II by Han Seong-Won

Death Threat by Vivek Shraya and Ness Lee

Palimpsest: Documents From A Korean Adoption by Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom

Big Black: Stand at Attica by Frank "Big Black" Smith, Jared Reinmuth, and Améziane

Victory. Stand!: Raising My Fist for Justice by Tommie Smith, Dawud Anyabwile, and Derrick Barnes

The High Desert by James Spooner

They Called Us Enemy by George Takei, Justin Eisinger, Steven Scott, and Harmony Becker

Feelings by Manjit Thapp

The Black Panther Party: A Graphic Novel History by David F. Walker and Marcus Kwame Anderson

Now Let Me Fly: A Portrait of Eugene Bullard by Ronald Wimberly and Braham Revel

[rckflg]

CHARCTER MASTERPOST

enjoy :) hope you like this free food

i will link each character’s masterlist in this post

MOVIE MASTERLIST

STAR WARS UNIVERSE

han solo

princess leia

luke skywalker

padme amidala

anakin skywalker

obi wan kenobi

kylo ren

general hux

poe dameron

rose tico

finn

boba fett 

fennec shand

din djarin

paz vizsla

cobb vanth

HARRY POTTER & FANTASTIC BEASTS

harry potter

hermione granger

ron weasley

ginny weasley

george weasley

fred weasley

charlie weasley

bill weasley

neville longbottom

oliver wood

seamus finnegan

dean thomas

cedric diggory

luna lovegood

cho chang

fleur delacour

pansy parkinson

viktor krum

voldemort/tom riddle

bellatrix lestrange

fenrir greyback

lucius malfoy

narcissa malfoy

igor karkaroff

barty crouch sr

barty crouch jr

professor severus snape

alastor moody

sirius black

remus lupin

nymphador tonks

newt scamander

theseus scamander

MARVEL & X-MEN

black widow / natasha romanov

yelena belova

hulk / bruce banner

antman / scott lang

tasm!spiderman / peter parker

hawkeye / clint barton

hawkeye / kate bishop

echo / maya lopez

kazi

nebula

daredevil / matt murdock

mobius m. mobius

deadpool / wade wilson

negasonic teenage warhead / ellie phimister

cable / nathan summers

domino / neena thurman

storm / ororo munroe

mystique / raven darkholm

wolverine / james howlett / logan

rogue / anna marie

phoenix / jean grey

cyclops / scott summers

havok / alex summers

jubilee / jubilation lee

banshee / sean cassidy

quicksilver / pietro maximoff

angel / warren worthington

x-23 / laura kinney

magik / illyana rasputina

wolfsbane / rahne sinclair

mirage / dani moonstar

nightcrawler / kurt wagner

magneto / erik lensher

please let me know which version of the x-men characters you would like me to write for when requesting

BIRDS OF PREY

harley quinn

huntress

black canary

renee montoya

victor zsasz

THE SUICIDE SQUAD (1&2)

harley quinn

rick flag

captain boomerang

polka-dot man

ratcatcher 2

bloodsport

peacemaker

LORD OF THE RINGS

merry brandybuck

pippin took

aragorn

legolas

gimli

arwen

boromir

faramir

elrond

eomer

eowyn

haldir

THE HOBBIT

bilbo baggins

thorin oakenshield

kili

fili

dwalin

THE LOST BOYS

david

marko

paul

dwayne

star

michael emerson

STAND BY ME

ace merill

denny lachance

eyeball chambers

billy tessio

TWILIGHT

carlisle cullen

esme cullen

alice cullen

jasper hale

rosalie hale

emmett cullen

edward cullen

bella swan

charlie swan

billy black

jacob black

seth clearwater

leah clearwater

paul lahote

sam uley

TELEVISION SHOW MASTERLIST

THE MAGICIANS

eliot waugh

quentin coldwater

julia wicker

alice quinn

margo hansen

penny adiyodi

kady orloff-diaz

mariana andrieski

henry fogg

fen

PENNY DREADFUL

vanessa ives

ethan chandler

dorian gray

brona croft

victor frankenstein

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

vanya hargreeves

klaus hargreeves

luther hargreeves

allison hargreeves

diego hargreeves

ben hargreeves

lila pitts

CHARMED (1998)

piper halliwell

pheobe halliwell

prue halliwell

paige halliwell

leo wyatt

cole turner

CHARMED (2018)

macy vaughn

mel vera

maggie vera

harry greenwood

abigael cain

niko hamada

PEAKY BLINDERS

tommy shelby

john shelby

arthur shelby

ada shelby

finn shelby

polly gray

alfie solomons

luca changretta

aberama gold

bonnie gold

johnny dogs

STRANGER THINGS

jim hopper

joyce byers

dr alexei

robin buckley

steve harrington

billy hargrove

max mayfield

NETFLIX’S DRACULA

dracula

SHAMELESS (US)

fiona gallagher

ian gallagher 

carl gallagher

debbie gallagher

lip gallagher

mickey milkovich 

kevin ball

veronica fisher

male!reader platonic &/or smut & fem!platonic!reader only for ian & mickey

CRIMINAL MINDS

spencer reid

penelope garcia

luke alvez

aaron hotchner

elle greenway

kate callahan

CARNIVAL ROW

rhycroft philostrate

vignette stonemass

tourmaline

GRIMM

nick burkhardt

hank griffin

captain sean renard

seargent wu

monroe

rosalee calvert

adalind schade

trubel

N0S4A2

vic mcqueen

maggie leigh

tabitha hutter

DOCTOR WHO & TORCHWOOD

9th doctor

10th doctor

11th doctor

12th doctor

13th doctor

simm!master

missy / gomez!master

dhawan!master

rose tyler

yazmin khan

river song

bill potts

nardole

captain jack harkness

toshiko sato

owen harper

MISCELLANIOUS

PEDRO PASCAL

the mandalorian / din djarin

javier pena

maxwell lord

whiskey / jack daniels

dave york

fransisco ‘catfish’ morales

marcus moreno

OSCAR ISAAC

poe dameron

nathan (ex machina)

apocalypse / en sabah nur

kane (annihilation)

gomez addams ; platonic!reader or familial!reader only

JOEL KINNAMAN

rick flag

takeshi kovacs

pete koslow

erik heller

stephen holder

ed baldwin

ANDREW GARFIELD

tasm!spiderman / peter parker

[6rookie-writer0110]

Master list- 10

Rules & Fandom

They still give reruns of The Young... -  Male Reader x Sif x Natasha Romanoff

headcannon for being Natasha’s tall girlfriend - 

The night is good to kill Nazis -  Black Widow x Male Reader x Silver Sable (SMUT)

Chasing the stars became boring... -   Platonic Male Reader x Natasha Romanov

Let me drink my coffee in the graveyard-  Natasha Romanoff x Reader

I found my destiny on the sand at the beach -  Young Justice x Teen Reader x Avengers

Breathe, pilot inspector-  Reader x Bat Family

Neptune-  Male Reader Wayne x Talia Al Ghul (SMUT)

I don’t want to watch Back to the Future-  Billy Bennett x Male Reader

The milk finished, diablo -  Chase Stein x Male Reader

I have the Godfather on VHS-  Nick Stokes x Male Reader

NSFW; Having sex with Nick Stokes would include…

Stay on the line for a brief survey-  Arthur Curry x Male Reader Curry

Storming the castle but not ready -  Rey x Male Reader x Vi Moradi

New hire, unknown feelings -  Hiram Lodge x Male Reader

Shake the snow globe but don’t break it -  Archie Andrews x Male Reader (SMUT)

Don’t tell them you invited math -  Bobby Drake x Male Reader

Being the Charmed one’s brother and dating Cole Turner would include…

[holylulusworld]

The wolf and the princess - Part 7 - United again

Summary: A princess and a wolf meet under difficult circumstances. Can they give each other shelter in a cold world?

A/N: prompt/idea by @gypsyjucar​​: Ulf Johnsen (Dean Winchester) is the leader of his land with the help of his brother. On a trip to Dean gets captured by the king's guards, the princess, was just walking along the castle when she hears her father and guards talking about a barbarian in the cells and this is where their journey begins...

Pairing: Viking!Dean /Ulfr or Wolf) x Princess!Reader, Viking!Sam (Frode) x Shield-Maiden!Ruby, Castiel, Garth, Cole Trenton, Ivar (Bobby Singer), Rufus Turner, OFC’s

Warnings: angst, innocent reader, mutual pining, longing, shitty father, language, tension, fluff, bad use of Norse language, gentle Dean/protective Dean, fighting, characters death, mentions of past rape (nothing graphic), betrayal

The wolf and the princess Masterlist

Day 7

Ruby is unstoppable. Her blood boils, as the Valkyries call for the fight. 

While you stay behind with Rufus and Castiel, your Viking along with his brother runs after the shield-maiden.

“I must excuse my son’s behavior, princess. Sam is not fond of outsiders, but he’ll change his mind.” The elder man gives you a soft smile. 

His thick brown hair hangs loosely over his shoulders. The single braid he wears at the back of his head is already grey and you assume he must be older than your father, maybe in his late fifties.

“I am Ivar (Bobby). You can call me Bobby as my mom used to call me. I lived in your country for a while.” The Viking explains as he tries to distract you from what happens not so far away.

“That’s the reason you speak my language so well.” Whispering the words, you flinch as you hear the shield-maiden, this goddess of a woman yell orders in Norse. 

“Don’t worry, my lady. Dean is a strong fighter and has a reason to come back.” You know Ivar means well but your hands start to shake when the whole forest falls silent.

“Bad sign…” Ivar curses before he runs after his sons. “Stay here, no matter what.”

Ruby’s lance pierces the first knight’s chest. Even wearing an armor didn’t protect him from the almost indestructible metal of her lance.

“Shield-maiden!” One of the knights calls for his comrades but he doesn’t get far as Ruby pierces his throat with the lance.

It seems like she performs a dance when she twists and turns to take more enemies down. Her black hair falls into her face when she picks one of the swords the knight dropped up to throw at another enemy.

“Skjaldmær (Shield-maiden)!” Sam’s deep voice booms through the night, but Ruby is forcing her way through the enemies. 

She only has one goal – to defeat all knights and earn her king’s approval. Her whole life she had to fight the prejudices of her fellow Vikings.

Her mother fell victim to a knight’s cruelty during a raid when she was barely fifteen. Everyone believed Ruby is a bad omen, that a child conceived due to rape could never be one of them.

While the shield-maiden hates the knights with burning rage, most of the Vikings believed she would prefer living among the outsiders instead of becoming a Viking.

Only Sam was kind to her since they were children. Now she wants to pay him back, wants to make sure no one will ever doubt her devotion to her king, the Vikings, and the shield-maiden.

“Dean, over there. Three more from left. I’ll take the one to the right!” Sam’s eyes drift toward Ruby, but he knows right now he must concentrate on the approaching enemies not to protect his chosen wife.

“I will take them down, bróðir (brother).” Dean falls back into talking Norse, giving orders the knights do not understand to have an advantage during the fight.

“Minn Gramr (my king),” Ruby warns before she pierces a knight’s back who tried to attack Dean. “We need to retreat sooner or later. We can’t withstand more attackers!”

“Hold the line, shield-maiden!” Sam calls for his love, the one he promised to protect as one of the knights tries to carve Ruby’s arm. 

“Ruby is right, Sam.” Silence falls over the forest as Dean and Sam try to hold back more enemies. “Only Thor can help us if there are more coming.”

“Sam, Dean…” Storming toward his sons Bobby attacks the first knight trying to get deeper into the forest. The experienced fighter may be old, but this doesn’t mean he can’t take an enemy down.

“Ivar…” Yelling orders at his fellow Vikings Dean looks at the path he came from. He can’t let any knight get close to you. “We need to withstand.”

“Dean…” Pointing toward an approaching knight Sam gasp as Garth dashes forward, wielding his sword to chop one of the knights head off.

“Where’s the princess? We need to be fast. It was a trap…” Garth calls out as he jumps off his horse. 

Luckily Garth prefers to not wear armor, this way he easily gets off the horse to attack the next knights.

“Trap?” Dean pants as another enemy tries to attack him but he dodges the attack to pierce the knight’s arm with his sword.

“Cole sent men before the king mobilized his knights. I came here to make sure the princess and you were able to escape. I hand Castiel the keys to free you.” 

Carving an enemy’s face with his dagger Garth nods at Dean who takes down the last knight with his sword. “Cole? How could he have known we would enter the forbidden forest?”

“I don’t know, but can you see the black crow on the knight’s armor? It’s Cole’s insigne. “I can only tell I saw Cole’s men from afar and tried to get here as fast as possible.”

“I hate that man. He tried to touch my àst (love), my princess.” Dean grunts as Garth points toward the horizon. “More men are coming. I am afraid, someone sold us…”

“Someone sold us?” Recalling Garth’s words Dean dashes toward the forest to run to your campfire. His mind races, just like his heart as his fellow Vikings follow him.

“I don’t understand how those knights were able to find us that fast. We barely came here and already got attacked.” Castiel eyes his surroundings warily, grazing his fingers over his sword.

“My friend, I got no clue. Maybe they assumed we would try to find shelter in the forbidden forests. Not everyone fears this place, Castiel.” Nodding the knight keeps an eye on Rufus as he subtle shoves you behind his back.

“You may be right Rufus, my old friend.” Castiel can see Dean approach from afar so he takes a step backward, making sure you stay behind him. “I am just asking myself why they were looking here out of all the places on this island.”

“You were always too smart for your well-being.” 

Time runs out on Rufus, so he tries to take Castiel and you down with him. Prepared for the blow that’s coming Castiel dodges Rufus attack with his sword.

“Princess, run!” Attacking Rufus, the knight protecting you since you were born, Castiel glances at Dean running faster to bring you behind his back. “How could you do this? You protect Y/N since she’s a little girl!”

“I gave my vows to the king to protect him and the kingdom. How will people think about our kingdom hearing the princess ran off with a Viking, a wild man. As much as I love the princess, I love my country, my kingdom more.”

“YOU SWORE TO PROTECT HER!” Furious Castiel dashes toward to bore his sword into Rufus's shoulder. “You are lucky I don’t want to kill anyone in front of my princess.”

“Do it! End me traitor! You swore to protect your kingdom and ran off with those barbarians. I know they are not bad people, but we can’t let anyone believe our king is weak.” Rufus presses his hand to his bleeding shoulder, gritting his teeth as Castiel refuses to let him die for his king.

“I am no traitor, Rufus. I swore to my queen to protect her daughter no matter what. I promised her as she was close to death that no man will ever hurt my princess. I swore on all that’s holy to me to make sure Y/N will marry her Viking, the man who owns her heart.”

“We need to go, Lord Castiel.” Garth rushes toward his master, glaring at Rufus as he passes him by.

“That’s the reason you told me to not do anything against Cole. Disgusting.” Spitting into Rufus's face the young knight can’t believe one of the knights he admired is a traitor.

“I know, Garth. Let’s get ready.” 

While everyone prepares to leave the forbidden forest, you watch Castiel restraint, Rufus, to a tree. “They will come for you…eventually.”

“Can we not let him go?” Taking Dean’s offered hand to mount Sleipnir you nod as his eyes tell you Rufus would run to your father or worse, to Cole to tell him who is with you and where you are heading.

“Minn Gramr (my king),” remembering the knights do not understand her language Ruby nods at her king. “We need to go. The little guy told me there may be others following our path.”

“Dean, Ruby is right. We must leave and use the darkness to escape them. I pray Thor will lead our way and we can reunite with our men.”

“United again, bróðir (brother).” Dean raises his ax, smirking as you wrap your body around him once again. “For fate and honor.”

“Ulfr (Dean), minn gramr (my king) we need to be fast. If you want to keep this girl, the princess.” Meeting Dean’s eyes Ruby nods. “You have to do the ceremony on our way to the ships. When she’s yours completely, they can’t part you any longer.”

“Ceremony?” Whispering the word, you look up at Dean. “What does she mean, my king?”

“My princess, my love. It means we have to…” Your king, the wild man smirks and you feel the heat creeping into your cheeks. “If you want me, I’ll give you my whole land, my fate.”

“I want you…” Dean slowly leads his horse, deeper into the forest whispering words in his language you do not understand to calm you.

Resting your head against his chest you close your eyes, holding tight onto him - afraid he could disappear when you open your eyes again.

“I want you to search the forest. Kill anyone you find, no matter if he’s Viking or not. Only the princess is precious. I want her unharmed.” 

Cole orders your father's men around as they are busy looking at the knight's Dean and the others defeated hours ago.

“My Lord, fighting wild man in the forbidden forest at night is not something we are used to. Maybe we should try to reach the shore before they do so.” Cole chuckles humorlessly before he backhands the young knight.

“I am your master now. Follow my lead or end up in the dungeon. Your king wants me to bring his daughter back, so I will do so.”

The dark smirk on Cole’s lips let the knight’s shudder but just like Rufus, they swore their loyalty to their kingdom and the king.

“We need to hide in the deeper parts and start the ritual. Once she became your kona (wife) they can’t take her away from you.” Watching Dean holding you in his arms Sam squares his jaw. 

He needs to make sure to keep his brother and you alive. A difficult task while being hunted once again. 

“I know, Sammy. I just wish we had more time to prepare for the wedding. I wanted to give her the world, our fate. I wish we could bring her home and I’ll make her my queen.” 

Pressing you closer to his chest Dean, aware he could lose you when more knights come to attack him, he drives his horse deeper into the dark forest toward an unknown future…

Tags will be added to the reblog

[jaceyourself]

End of Year Wrap-Up 24/12/2018

Happy Merry to all you readers!

I’ve had a great year but all us music fans have had an even better one! Streaming services mean that now more than ever we can experience the musical output from all corners of the globe (though overwhelmingly the English-speaking parts of it) to understand different points of view, learn of the goings on in other parts of the world and most importantly indulge ourselves in a bit of a boogie. All the moods, genres and feels you could think of are out there, so over the holiday period perhaps try and listen to something new. Who knows it might break the tension with that younger/older relative round the xmas table when you find they also happen to like k-pop/jazz-funk/grindcore or at the very least you can bicker about the tragedy of the current album charts (Greatest Showman: 21 weeks!). To aid you in your quest for knowledge/excitement/small-talk I have spent almost 30 minutes curating a best-of for both albums and singles in the year of 2018. 

(NB even with my album-a-day policy, there’s no way I can get through everything I want to within the 365, so if your fave appears ignored, let it be known that I probably haven’t heard it yet. The full list of everything I’ve listened to this year is at the bottom)

So in no particular order:

Albums 

Jinx Lennon- Grow A Pair!!!

The Beths- Future Me Hates Me

The Pistol Annies- Interstate Gospel

Travis Scott- ASTROWORLD

Mount Eerie- Now Only

Cardi B- Invasion of Privacy

The 1975- A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

The Aces- When My Heart Felt Volcanic

Singles

Confidence Man- Out The Window

Cardi B- I Like It

Janelle Monae ft. Grimes- Pynk

Lori McKenna- People Get Old

SOPHIE- Immaterial

Marie Davidson- Work It

Car Seat Headrest- Stop Smoking (We Love You)

BLACKPINK- AS IF IT’S YOUR LAST

The 1975- It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

https://open.spotify.com/user/jaceyourself/playlist/1kFex3QLVv0l3cCqjVC6dT?si=_GqTJXrOSoSXYaMC9ra_lg

Have a great festive period and I’ll see you in 2019 :D

2018 Albums what I listened to

Floating Points- Reflections – Mojave Desert

James Elkington- Wintres Woma

Miguel- War & Leisure

Ride- Weather Diaries

Sidney Gish- No Dogs Allowed

Emperor X- The Orlando Sentinel, Oversleepers International

Broken Social Scene- Hug of Thunder

MC5- Kick Out The Jams (Live)

Public Service Broadcasting- Every Valley

JJ Doom- Key to the Kuffs

HAIM- Something To Tell You

Camila Cabello- Camila

Sheer Mag- Need To Feel Your Love

Taylor Swift- reputation

Shabazz Palaces- Quazarz vs The Jealous Machines

This Is The Kit- Moonshine Freeze

Japanese Breakfast- Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Tune-Yards- I can feel you creep into my private life

Jupiter & Okwess- Kin Sonic

Various Artists- The Passion Of Charlie Parker

Waxahatchee- Out In The Storm, Great Thunder

Offa Rex- The Queen Of Hearts

Dizzee Rascal- Raskit

Alvvays- Antisocialites

Childhood- Universal High

Marmozets- Knowing What You Know Now

Declan McKenna- What Do You Think About the Car?

Paul Heaton- Crooked Calypso

Lana Del Rey- Lust For Life

Charles Lloyd New Quartet- Passin’ Thru (Live)

Rip Rig & Panic- Circa Rip Rig + Panic

Avey Tare- Eucalyptus

Justin Timberlake- Man Of The Woods

Rio Mira- Marimba del Pacifico

Oddisee- The Iceberg

Aimee Mann- Mental Illness

Katie Von Schleicher- Shitty Hits

Arcade Fire- Everything Now

Girl Ray- Earl Grey

Ezra Furman- Transangelic Exodus

Randy Newman- Dark Matter

Dead Cross- Dead Cross

Chronixx- Chronology

Mondo Cozmo- Plastic Soul

Kesha- Rainbow

Lal & Mike Waterson- Bright Phoebus

Steve Reich- Pulse / Quartet

Orchestra Baobab- Tribute to Ndiouga Dieng

Ratboy- SCUM

Prince- Dirty Mind, Controversy, 1999, Purple Rain, Parade, Sign ‘O’ The Times

Stanley Cowell- No Illusions

Oneohtrix Point Never- Good Time Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Downtown Boys- Cost Of Living

Screaming Females- All At Once

Rob Luft- Riser

Sibusile Xaba- Open Letter To Adoniah

Jen Cloher- Jen Cloher

Everything Everything- Fever Dream

Grizzly Bear- Painted Ruins

Bob’s Burgers- The Bob’s Burgers Music Album

Superorganism- Superorganism

Maren Morris- HERO

Courtney Marie Andrews- Honest Life, May Your Kindness Remain

Stefflon Don- Real Ting Mixtape

Ghostpoet- Dark Days + Canapés

Young Fathers- White Men Are Black Men Too, Cocoa Sugar

Queens Of The Stone Age- Songs For The Deaf

Thurst- Cut to the Chafe

John Moreland- Big Bad Luv

Aruan Ortiz- Cub(an)ism [Piano Solo]

Mount Eerie- Now Only

The War On Drugs- A Deeper Understanding

Various Artists- Pop Makossa

Liane Carroll- The Right to Love

Fickle Friends- You Are Someone Else

Nadine Shah- Holiday Destination

Various Artists- Howsla

George Ezra- Staying at Tamara’s

The Doors- The Doors

Filthy Friends- Invitation

Susanne Sundfør- Music For People In Trouble

LCD Soundsystem- LCD Soundsystem, Sound of Silver, American Dream

Mogwai- Every Country’s Sun

Kacey Musgraves- Golden Hour

The National- High Violet, Sleep Well Beast

The Klezmatics- Wonder Wheel

Hercules & Love Affair- Omnion

Mount Kimbie- Love What Survives

The Aces- When My Heart Felt Volcanic

Matthew Bourne- Isotach

Finished- Cum Inside Me Bro

Forced Into Femininity- I’m Making Progress

Heron Oblivion- Heron Oblivion

Hamell On Trial- TACKLE BOX

Confidence Man- Confident Music For Confident People

Swet Shop Boys- Cashmere

Princess Nokia- 1992 Deluxe, A Girl Cried Red

Steely Dan- The Royal Scam, Aja

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard- Nonagon Infinity

Sparks- Hippopotamus

J. Cole- KOD

Fat Tony- Macgregor Park

L’Orange and Jeremiah Jae- The Night Took Us In Like Family

Little Simz- Stillness In Wonderland

Lady Leshurr- Queen’s Speech

RAY BLK- Durt

Brand New- Science Fiction

Janelle Monae- Dirty Computer

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever- Talk Tight

Fred Thomas- Changer

Myra Davies- Sirens

Laraaji- Sun Gong

The Killers- Wonderful Wonderful

Descendents- Milo Goes To College

Frank Turner- Be More Kind

The Horrors- V

Moses Sumney- Aromanticism

Arctic Monkeys- Whatever People…, AM, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

Oxbow- Thin Black Duke

Dee Byrne’s Entropi- Moment Frozen

Mike Stern- Trip

The Vampires- The Vampires Meet Lionel Loueke

Gogol Bordello- Gypsy Punks: Underdog World Strike, Super Taranta!, Seekers And Finders

Umphrey’s McGee- Zonkey

Hard Working Americans- We’re All in This Together

Courtney Barnett- Tell Me How You Really Feel

Jllin- Black Origami

Various Artists- Rough Guide to the Music of West Africa

Wolf Alice- Visions Of A Life

The Young’uns- Strangers

Fever Ray- Fever Ray, Plunge

CHVRCHES- Love Is Dead

Oumou Sangaré- Oumou, Mogoya

Charlotte Gainsbourg- Rest

Daniel Avery- Song For Alpha

Daphni- Joli Mai

Kanye West- ye

Cécile McLorin Salvant- Dreams and Daggers

Trio Da Kali, Kronos Quartet- Ladilikan

Kelela- Take Me Apart

Bob Dylan- The Times.., Another.., Bringing.., Highway.., Blond.., John.., Nashville.., New.., Blood..

Lily Allen- Alright(,) Still, It’s Not Me(,) It’s You, Sheezus, No Shame

Fanfare Ciocarlia- 20

Wolf Parade- Cry Cry Cry

SOPHIE- OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES

Zara McFarlane- Arise

St. Vincent- MASSEDUCTION

Margo Price- All American Made

Bebe Rexha- Expectations

Motörhead- Under Cöver

Orchestre Les Mangelepa- Last Band Standing

Drake- Scorpion

Various Artists- Gentle Giants: The Songs Of Don Williams

Noga Erez- Off The Radar

Baxter Dury- Prince of Tears

John Maus- Screen Memories

Lankum- Between the Earth and Sky

Shamir- Revelations

Years & Years- Palo Santo

Converge- The Dusk In Us

Canzoniere Grecanico Salentino- Canzoniere

Fred Hersch- Open Book

A. Savage- Thawing Dawn

Big Thief- Capacity

Kelly Clarkson- Meaning Of Life

Dirty Projectors- Lamp Lit Prose

Robt Sarazin Blake- Recitative

Shed Seven- Instant Pleasures

Spinning Coin- Permo

Call Super- Arpo

Laura Perrudin- Poisons & antidotes

Ellen Andrea Wang- Blank Out

Lori McKenna- The Tree

Wu-Tang Clan- Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

Lee Ronaldo- Electric Trim

Deer Tick- Vol. 2

The Paranoid Style- Underworld U.S.A.

Youssou N’Dour- Set, Joko- From Village To Town, Nothing’s In Vain, Seeni Valeurs

Gaika- BASIC VOLUME

Kasai Allstars- Around Felicite

Carly Rae Jepsen- Emotion

Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds- Who Built The Moon?

Anna Ternheim- All the Way to Rio

U2- Songs of Experience

Mônica Vasconcelos- The São Paulo Tapes

Travis Scott- ASTROWORLD

Nabihah Iqbal- Weighing of the Heart

Van Morrison- Versatile

Jim James- Tribute to 2

Criolo- Espiral de Ilusão

Maciej Obara Quartet- Unloved

N.E.R.D- NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES

The Beths- Future Me Hates Me

Maryam Saleh- Lekhfa

Naomi Bedford- Songs My Ruiner Gave to Me

Jens Lekman- Night Over Kortedala

The Spirit of the Beehive- pleasure suck

Tom Rogerson- Finding Shore

Paul Jacobs- Pictures(,) Movies and Apartments

Ariana Grande- sweetener

Rina Sawayama- RINA

Marcel Khalife- Andalusia of Love

Gunter Hampel- Bounce (Live at Theater Gütersloh)

BAYNK- Someone’s EP

Omar Souleyman- To Syria(,) With Love

Blood Orange- Negro Swan

Open Mike Eagle- Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

First Aid Kit- Ruins

Shame- Songs of Praise

Homeboy Sandman- Veins

Playboi Carti- Playboi Carti

Eminem- Kamikaze

Troye Sivan- Blue Neighbourhood, BLOOM

Joey Bada$$- ALL AMERIKKKAN BADA$$

Priests- Nothing Feels Natural

Rhiannon Giddens- Freedom Highway

King Krule- The OOZ

Django Django- Marble Skies

Bon Iver- For Emma(,) Forever Ago

Calexico- The Thread That Keeps Us

Mary Gauthier- Rifles & Rosary Beads

Hookworms- Microshift

Aphex Twin- Collapse EP

Rae Morris- Someone Out There

Field Music- Open Here

Rhye- Blood

Shopping- The Official Body

MGMT- Little Dark Age

Christine and the Queens- Chris

Alela Diane- Cusp

Sonic Youth- Sister

Brigid Mae Power- The Two Worlds

Deafheaven- Sunbather

Various Artists- American Epic: The Collection Disc 1, 2, 3

Rich Krueger- Life Ain’t That Long

Lil Wayne- Tha Carter V

Modern Mal- The Misanthrope Family Album

Rejjie Snow- Dear Annie

U.S. Girls- In a Poem Unlimited

The Orielles- Silver Dollar Moment

Tal National- Tantabara

Marie Davidson- Working Class Woman

Superchunk- What a Time to Be Alive

Brandi Carlile- By The Way(,) I Forgive You

Car Seat Headrest- Twin Fantasy

Loma- Loma

Quavo- QUAVO HUNCHO

Marlon Williams- Make Way For Love

Nipsey Hussle- Victory Lap

Insecure Men- Insecure Men

Kendrick Lamar- Black Panther

Rapsody- Lalia’s Wisdom

Khalid- Suncity

Tracey Thorn- Record

Anna von Hausswolff- Dead Magic

Jinx Lennon- Grow a Pair!!!

Gwenno- Le Kov

Judas Priest- Stained Class, FIREPOWER

Robyn- Robyn, Body Talk, Honey

The Magic Gang- The Magic Gang

Essaie Pas- New Path

Bob Dylan and The Band- The Basement Tapes

The Decemberists- I’ll Be Your Girl

Pistol Annies- Interstate Gospel

BCUC- Emakhosini (Bantu Continua Uhuru Consciousness)

Jack White- Boarding House Reach

Yo La Tengo- There’s A Riot Going On

Sidi Touré- Toubalbero

Lil Peep- Come Over When You’re Sober(,) Pt. 2

The Breeders- All Nerve

The Vaccines- Combat Sports

CZARFACE- Czarface Meets Metal Face

Laurence Pike- Distant Early Warning

Chopteeth Afrofunk Big Band- Bone Reader

Leo Kalyan- The Edge

Hayley Kyoko- Expectations

Tristen- Sneaker Waves

Thelonious Monk- Les Liaisons Dangereuses

Brad Mehldau & Mark Guiliana- Mehliana: Taming The Dragon

Amy Rigby- Til The Wheels Fall Off, Little Fugitive, The Old Guys

BLACKPINK- BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA

Rose Cousins- Natural Conclusion

Nora Jane Struthers- Champion

Lilly Hiatt- Trinity Lane

The Rolling Stones- The Rolling Stones, The Rolling Stones No. 2, Out of Our Heads, Aftermath

MAST- Thelonious Sphere Monk

The 1975- A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Jhene Aiko- Trip

Don Bryant- Don’t Give up on Love

EMA- Exile in the Outer Ring

Small Believer- Anna Tivel

Vera Sola- Shades

Cardi B- Invasion of Privacy

Darkthrone- A Blaze in the Northern Sky

Sarah Shook & the Disarmers- Years

Goat Girl- Goat Girl

Vic Mensa- HOOLIGANS

Unknown Mortal Orchestra- Sex & Food

Alasdair Roberts, Amble Scuse & David McGuiness- What News

Kali Uchis- Isolation

Wye Oak- The Louder I Call, the Faster It Runs

Migos- Culture II

Hinds- I Don’t Run

DRINKS- Hippo Lite

Alexis Taylor- Beautiful Thing

Jenny Wilson- EXORCISM

[jarrettfuller]

This weekend, I got to see I Am Not Your Negro, the new documentary from Raoul Peck on James Baldwin. I had not read too much about the movie but as a fan of Baldwin's writing, I was excited to see it. I was expecting a more straight-forward documentary with talking heads and various commentary on Baldwin and his writing, but that's not what this is at all. I Am Not Your Negro is structured more like a video essay, using Baldwin's writing from an unfinished book and his other essays together with footage of Baldwin, cinema, and current events, to weave together his views on race in America. It's a powerful, dense, and utterly compelling experience.

Here's A.O. Scott, in The New York Times, on the film:

To call “I Am Not Your Negro” a movie about James Baldwin would be to understate Mr. Peck’s achievement. It’s more of a posthumous collaboration, an uncanny and thrilling communion between the filmmaker — whose previous work includes both a documentary and a narrative feature about the Congolese anti-colonialist leader Patrice Lumumba — and his subject. The voice-over narration (read by Samuel L. Jackson) is entirely drawn from Baldwin’s work. Much of it comes from notes and letters written in the mid-1970s, when Baldwin was somewhat reluctantly sketching out a book, never to be completed, about the lives and deaths of Medgar Evers, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr.

And I especially loved Hilton Als review in this week's New Yorker, which highlights the interesting collage of film references used to visualize and illuminate Baldwin's words:

One has the sense, in the sections of “I Am Not Your Negro” that are devoted to Baldwin’s relationship to film, that Peck is stepping in to make the film that Baldwin couldn’t make. From the beginning of his career, Baldwin longed to make movies. In the introduction to his 1955 landmark collection, “Notes of a Native Son,” he wrote, “About my interests: I don’t know if I have any, unless the morbid desire to own a sixteen-millimeter camera and make experimental movies can be so classified.” To my knowledge, Baldwin never satisfied that desire (morbid, perhaps, because he knew of the herculean effort that goes into getting any movie made), but he never stopped yearning to be a filmmaker. Like a number of other significant twentieth-century authors—James Agee, Truman Capote, Susan Sontag, and his friend Norman Mailer—he knew that the page was not enough in the modern world; cinema was a powerful medium with many more “readers.” What would his life as an artist have been like, and what would American cinema be like now, had it opened itself up to him?

This great mix of audio and video highlights what an excellent writer Baldwin was — I was continually taken with his use of language and the rythym in his prose — but also how much of what we're seeing in American culture today were issues Baldwin was writing about.

In The Atlantic, Dagmawi Woubshet writes about Baldwin's sexuality and the notable absence of this fact in the film:

I Am Not Your Negro presents no sense of this essential thread in Baldwin’s work. Only a passing instance gestures to his sexuality in the film, which reproduces a short sentence from an FBI memo that identifies Baldwin as a suspected homosexual. That the film uses the FBI to account for a major element of Baldwin’s life and corpus, instead of the author’s own voice, further compounds the silence. The apparent desire to represent Baldwin as the quintessential Race Man—a public spokesman and leader of African Americans with ostensibly straight bonafides—goes against not only the principles of Baldwin’s work, but also the reality of his fraught position in the civil-rights movement as a queer black man.

Despite this, I think Als is correct in that this film is a great introduction to Baldwin and his work if you're unfamiliar with his work. I consider myself a somewhat new reader, only beginning to read through his work in the last two years or so.

My first introduction, I think, was Teju Cole's excellent essay, Black Body, which is the first essay in Cole's book, Known and Strange Things and one I highly recommend. In the essay, Cole travels to Switzerland to visit the places where Baldwin wrote Stranger in the Village. Finally, a few years ago, Ta-Nehisi Coates wrotes a nice piece for The Atlantic on Baldwin's work and its relevance for our current condition.

[galatially]

All right, I’ll watch the farmer/spy movie 🤣🤣🤣

I haven’t talk much about Cole but the way I’d let his whiny incel ass fuck me with so much force that it almost makes me feel ashamed