#Cis/trans/GNC/nonbinary/fluid/etc.

[crazywolfsthings]

I feel like people who say that Mizu wants to be a man and enjoys being one are forgetting the fact that Mizu did not choose to dress or act the way they do and was forced to do so as a child because people were looking for a girl, so their maid mom had her behave like a boy for her own safety. This was not his own choice.

And the reason why she gets upset when others insinuate that he's a woman is because women aren't allowed to do pretty much anything in their day and age, as we see when a woman is denied entrance into a town to sell goods to feed herself and her child because a man was not accompanying them.

Being a man provides them with so much more freedom and power to accomplish her goals, and if others discover he's a woman, she'll lose that freedom.

If you view him as trans, then that's fine, but you don't have the authority to say that's canon, and shouldn't get mad when others think about her as a woman or use she/her and they/them pronouns for them. If your argument is that everyone in the show uses he/him pronouns, then know that the creators of the show use she/her. All pronouns and headcanons are valid for Mizu.

[cardentist]

well ! I figured that was gonna happen, so lets not waste a good essay.

I feel like it's not controversial to say that there is a Lot of underlying transphobia in how people with "weird" gender and labels are treated. but in particular I'd like to highlight how multigender/genderfluid/genderqueer people/etc are expected to "pick a side" based on their agab (or perceived agab).

and this absolutely extends to nonbinary and intersex people as well. people viewing nonbinary people by their agab regardless of their identities, presentation, or real lived experiences (or punishing nonbinary people for not fitting what they Assume those things would be based on them Being nonbinary).

as well as the way that intersex people are erased and refused to be understood. it is, for instance, treated as ridiculous or even outright Dangerous to think an amab person could be trans masc or an afab person could be trans fem. ignoring, of course, that there are intersex people who Aren't treated like their agab. who are visibly read as trans and transition in ways that suit their agab.

and of course, intersex people have all sorts of relationships with gender and sexuality that influence their experiences.

but there's Also just this baseline kneejerk rejection of seeing multigender people as anything different from half trans. or rather, people don't like it when people relate to and share experiences with what they perceive as the "wrong" trans labels.

I've talked about this before, but I've been shuffling around labels for a very Very long time. both trying to find something to fit the way I feel, And in trying to figure out my feelings at all.

I've Always identified with both masculinity and femininity in some way, but for a very long time I've never enjoyed being Perceived As a girl. was I genderfluid, was I nonbinary, was I trans masc and gnc, what was I indeed. why was I comfortable, even Happy presenting femininely in some cases, but I feel antsy when my hair gets anywhere longer than "basically bald."

gender euphoria at the idea of going on T and wearing clothes that hide and change the shape language of my body, but Equally receiving gender euphoria at dressing and being perceived as Feminine without being perceived as a cis woman.

and in much the same way, when I Do present masculinely I enjoy not reading as a Cis man. that visible transness. that duality of masculine and feminine.

in the end I've found that my euphoria with femininity hinges on exactly that. I Want to transition, I want a deeper voice, I want my face and body to change. but I Also want to keep some of those traits that are read as feminine. some of the shape language of my body, my boobs, my presentation.

no matter how I choose to label this feeling, this desired presentation and desired interpretation, what this means for me is that I have shared experiences and desires with many other groups of trans people. trans people Can look and want to present as anything mind. but it is, for instance, not hard to imagine how someone in a dress with visible breasts and a masculine voice and facial hair would be interpreted and possibly treated.

and I think binary people really don't Like the idea of sharing experiences with the "wrong" sorts of people. they don't Like sharing experiences with nonbinary people, with multi gender or gender fluid people, with intersex people.

and I think I think there Needs to be some awareness of this. that trans spaces are always going to be fuzzy at the edges. that there will be men who are Also women and women who are Also men, and that not being a threat to anyone who's one or the other.

and I think there Also needs to be an awareness that this intolerance to people with Weird genders and presentations and labels. Is Transphobia, regardless of who it's coming from.

not to inherently demonize anyone struggling with feelings of discomfort, but to ask people to Examine that feeling. especially before they choose to interact with people who are different from them.

everyone has prejudices, everyone has insecurity, everyone has biases and difficult emotions that they're trying to work through. and there's nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be an awareness and recognition of it. to make the active effort not to react to someone you don't understand with a negative kneejerk.

sometimes things that sound unintuitive make perfect sense to the person it's relevant to, sometimes things that sound intuitive are wrong. you don't Have to understand somebody to leave them be to do their own thing. and if you feel that someone's existence is harmful, sometimes it's a good idea to check that emotion.

[mihai-florescu]

This is not in any way to start discourse, i would really love it didnt happen actually, but i want to share why reading Shu as transfem wouldn't be actively going against who they are. I actually agree with most of the points in this ask, but i think there's a bit of unclarity regarding the term transfem itself? It does not automatically mean trans woman, but someone who identifies with femininity.

Shu's relationship with gender is more complicated than just easily defined boxes "man", "woman". You're right, it's not implied at any point that he'd want to transition into a woman, but he does mention a sense of dysmorphia and dissatisfaction regarding puberty's effects ("When I first met Madmoiselle, it was still prior to my encounter with the accursed thing we call puberty... I was a sweet, young boy with rosy cheeks- I would probably have been indistinguishable if you had lined me up next to those dolls over there.") Of course his relationship with dolls goes much deeper than the surface level of femininity, as they represent innocence, purity and perfection that humans lack, as well as an escape. I haven't seen Victoria's original japanese text, I don't know whether the translator took liberties, but the story lends credibility to a Not Cis reading of Shu's character.

As for Raison d'etre, the story makes parallels between Shu and his grandpa, who went to Paris at various points in life and took on different identities that would've been forbidden back home, including that of a woman. Identity is fluid and can change throughout a person's life. It isn't a reach to imagine that at some point Shu might start experimenting with a more feminine gender presentation. He says it himself in the epilogue, the same femininity that was present in grandpa was passed on to him (present even prior to the war and splitting into the Madmoiselle alter).

Shu's gender is a grey area that can't really be argued into a clear answer. Different people will interpret it differently based on their own life experiences (cis gnc, transfem nonbinary, agender etc) ultimately Shu's not a real person. But his relationship with gender resonates with people of various labels. But I didn't come here to argue the validity of the concept of labels, just to say that a transfem reading is not radically shifting Shu into something he's not.

I completely agree with the afab headcanon being redundant and contradictory though, that one actively ignores Shu's story, struggles and journey.

It really weirds me out when people hc Shu as trans, especially transfem, because if that were true he’d be a completely different character.

If he was transmasc, that implies that he’s AFAB. This in turn means that the whole point of his childhood, that being that he was shunned and bullied by his peers and even family members for being a boy and liking “girl” things, wouldn’t even exist because he would’ve been confirming to gender norms the whole time.

If he was transfem, it would make that whole point of his personal journey/story about defying gender norms completely moot. You’d just end up shoving him right back into the box that the whole purpose of his character is set to break, and that’s not a good thing from a storytelling perspective.

I’ve seen a fair handful of people celebrating that he’s “officially implied transfem” after Raison D’etre, and that simply isn’t true. His grandfather is the one being implied to be trans. The way Shu interprets the story of his grandfather is one of two men, and in the play him and Mika put on that’s how it’s portrayed. This is because Shu was looking to relate to the story, contrary to Mika who was looking for the “truth”.

Shu has never been trans, nor has that ever been implied to be the case, he’s always just been gender-non-conforming. I see it as somewhat inherently invalidating to his canon identity to try and push the idea that he’s transfem just because he likes dolls and dresses (especially since most of the people in this fandom seem that have pretty progressive mindsets, so you’d think that a canonically GNC cis character would be well received), regardless of the fact that unlike someone like Arashi he has never expressed a want to actually become a woman.

The same concept would apply to Hajime as well, and I think in his case in particular it’s worth noting that he actively has said he dislikes being seen as a girl, and yet people will still have those transfem headcanons. This is not me trying to say I’m against that type of hc in general, it just frustrates me when it’s used on a character where it actively goes against who they are.

.

[mychemicalraymance]

Has Frank stated he is straight? Genuine question bc i cant remember. Either way this is hilarious that ppl are willing to come at u for suggesting an mcr member may be straight when the same ppl are probably going wild speculating shit about gerard. Like maybe just stick to what we know / what the members themselves have said and stop assuming personal info abt strangers? lol

Hm no usually (at least to me) the people who say this are the ones who seem to think its "creepy" to talk about gerard as anything but a Man who is a cis Guy. I actually love to say gerard way is a nonbinary person and part of the trans community. You have the wrong number here i think. Also im not assuming. I must SAY we live in a society joker face where being gay or trans or gnc etc is considered an aberration and unless you explicitly say with words you are one of those things and make a point to become involved in the community as a participant, you function as a straight person. Thats not the RIGHT thing but it is an understood aspect of identity politics, ESPECIALLY in celebrity culture. Even if we can't find video footage of frnk saying he is straight (i can't remember if there is, I just dont need to bc my point still stands) you CAN find footage of him talking about his life in ways that are inherent to being a straight person and a (respectful) implied separation of himself from the gay community. I know he's not gay the same way most people understand that people in a gay bar are gay. They have to say they're not to be understood as straight.

Like frank and gerard are different and the sticky point of this is that gerard IS involved and aligned with the gay and trans community. The STICKIEST point is that part of why gerard is so beloved and interesting as a celeb is that he defies a straight label but managed to do that without binariatic "coming out" and otherization that is categorical. Gerard being fluid rather than inert in his celebrity social capital via sexuality is like the whole point of WHY it works. Like he is being gay in a way that isn't just saying the words bc thats too easy for celebrity as a concept to subsume.

[tobi-smp]

while I’m feeling frisky

asexuals and aromantics are and always have been a part of the lgbt+ and queer communities. trans people are the backbone of the queer community and any attempt to push them out is terf and radfem propaganda. passing privilege is fake and bi and pan people are exactly as queer as they always are no matter what relationship they are (or aren’t) in. neither bisexuality or pansexuality are inherently bigoted and neither have a set definition, people identify with one vs the other based on the communities that they personally found themselves in, there’s no reason to demonize one group vs the other or try to gatekeep who can use which label. some people personally use the split attraction model and some people don’t and it’s not your place to police who does what with their labels (if an aromantic person identifies Only as aromantic then that’s their right, if an allo person identifies as gay and bi then that’s their right, it doesn’t matter what you think their identity “should be” because their identity is for them).

pronouns are gender presentation meaning anybody can use any pronoun and it has no baring on their identity unless they want it to, this includes people using multiple pronouns, neopronouns, people using pronouns that you personally think contradict their other labels (they don’t), etc etc etc. you don’t have to have dysphoria to be trans and you don’t have to transition to be trans, if someone says they’re trans then they are. we don’t do anyone any favors by trying to gatekeep medical transitioning, making it harder to get what we need only hurts the trans community more and it literally does not matter how other people choose to present (if a cis man wants tits then he should be allowed to have them, if a nonbinary person wants a flat chest then they should be allowed to have one).

intersex people and polyamorous people belong in the queer and lgbt+ community for the same reason that everyone else does, they deserve solidarity as well as a community to help them push for their rights in a society that discriminates against them. nonbinary people are inherently trans and they’re also not a monolith, nonbinary isn’t just a third gender and there are Multiple identities and presentations that can fall under the label (there isn’t one nonbinary look or name or presentation or agab). moreover trans people can be neither binary trans Or nonbinary (with multiple other labels being available (like agender, genderqueer, gender fluid, genderfuck, etc) or with a label they created for themselves). gnc people exist everywhere in every kind of person and ignoring their existence can lead to ignorant takes that ultimately do more harm than good.

people don’t Owe you access to information about them, if someone only openly identifies as queer or if they give you partial information about their identity or if they’re open with some people but not others or if they’re not out at all that is their right, making assumptions about people or getting angry that you aren’t being hand delivered everything about them is fucked up. labels can be messy and fluid and hard to grasp, people can change their identities any time they want whenever they want, they can have multiple conflicting identities, they can create new terms to better describe their feelings, they can play around with terms already available to them to create something that feels right, we’re here to have fun and be happy not to look presentable to heteronormative cishet society.

and finally, oppression isn’t a competition and gatekeeping people from the community or Within the community based on arbitrary oppression points that you made up is actively harmful and very often overtly bigoted. communities exist for the sake of the individuals in them, not to create a new different social hierarchy where you get to put yourself at the top. literally just be nice to people

[kaiynite]

this is a friendly reminder that all (non harmful such as maps or bi/pan lesbians etc) lgbt identities are welcome on my blog! such as Aces and Aros and other along that spectrums, pansexuals of all kinds, polysexuals and omnisexuals and any other sexualities under that umbrella, agenders, binary trans folk and genderqueer and those who's gender is fluid, nonbinaries and xenogenders, those who use neopronouns and polyamorous folks. lesbians whether cis, trans or gnc and gays along those lines. bisexuals, those who are questioning or unlabelled, and anyone else I haven't mentioned whether they feel alone or full of pride. you are valid and I love u. ive been seeing a lot of negativity to smaller identities so I wanted to spread some positivity. love u all <3

[astronomeys]

Hey! I totally get if you don't want to answer this, I'm just genuinely confused and wanted to clear it up. How does a cis person experience dysphoria? Is it like weight related or is it still concerning gendered body parts? (Sorry there's no polite way to phrase this) Thanks in advance

Hi! Not a problem, I think this 100% needs to be a conversation.

It's the same as trans people in that it manifests in a variety of ways. I cannot speak for cis men with dysphoria, but in women, it tends to be more common in gender non-conforming women, butches, and studs than in gender-conforming or femme women. I am a gender-conforming femme cis lesbian with dysphoria in that I on and off feel a disconnect with my primary sex characteristics. I also at one point had dysphoria over my body shape being too feminine in terms of muscle tone and breast size.

For some GNC women, the idea that dysphoria = trans caused them to believe incorrectly that they are trans and transition when they don't necessarily want all the changes with transitioning and aren't actually trans, they're simply gnc and don't feel a connect with aspects of their body. But in the end, they are still women. It's not their womanhood they feel a disconnect with, it's just part of their body or appearance. For these people, a better route than a trans identity/transitioning is body acceptance, community of likewise people, and therapy to get to the core of their dysphoria.

I'm kind of in that boat. Because this whole dysphoria = trans thing was all that anyone every talked about back in the early 2010s, I mistakenly thought I was transgender for 10 years, went on T, and got a bilateral mastectomy. It turned out... I just have a fluid presentation/feeling about myself! That doesn't mean I don't feel like a woman, it just means that sometimes, my body doesn't align with how I wish I appeared or was. At my core, even in those moments where I embrace the fact that I medically transitioned, I am still a woman. Not a nonbinary woman, not a demi-woman, a cisgender woman.

And that's okay!

There is no specific way to be a man or a woman, right? That's kinda what the trans community has spent DECADES trying to get people to understand, right? So why should there be a specific way to be a cisgender man or woman? I love being a woman, but that doesn't always mean that my body reflects how I feel. For me personally, transition was the incorrect decision, and because no one told me that I had the option to be a cis person with dysphoria, I didn't know that transition was incorrect until it was said and done.

This is tangential, but I've since detransitioned in many ways (stopped T/went on birth control, got laser hair removal on my body/beard, just legally changed my name this morning!!!). However, there are still points of dysphoria and, ironically, dysphoria caused by my transition, hahaha.

Anyway, I hope that makes sense. As I was in the trans community for 10 years, I have nothing against them and fully support people being whomever they are regardless of dysphoria, transitioning, etc. But that includes trans AND cis people. If a cis woman wants to go on T but is still a woman, so what? If a trans male never has any physical transition, so what? Be and let be!

[mlmay-event]

✨NBLM participant announcement! (Please read)✨

Hi again, all! I wanted to clarify and reword a few things from our previous posts. The mods have unfortunately seen a lot of nonbinary people feeling unwelcomed, or excluded In this event. This really saddens me, as I (mod Jay) myself am nonbinary! I believe in previous posts I've been rather vague about who can participate, and that's on me. I never wanted to imply any sort of gatekeeping of who is and is not "MLM enough", that is your own personal choice to make.

There have also been a few people I've seen uncomfortable or confused with my wording that "you must lean masculine at least some of the time". As this event is focused on homosexuality and men in the community, we would be uncomfertable with say, cis girls or demigirls for example joining. I was trying to discourage that. however, I was mistaken on what the term meant and it led some to believe that only masculine men could join.

So let me clarify right now: NBLM are ABSOLUTELY welcome in this event! This includes enbies who are not masc leaning in presentation, enbies who do not have typically "manly" traits or hobbies, enbies who identify with many labels, and enbies who are not always male; or are more fluid (such as bigender and genderfluid people). Also, ALL MLM men are COMPLETELY welcome in this event! This includes feminine men, GNC men, men who are not strictly "gay" (such as bisexuals and pansexuals), ace men, trans men who cannot pass or do not want to pass, etc!

If you feel you are not "masc enough" to join, we are reassuring you that YOU ARE! And I'm sorry we ever implied that you weren't. We want you here, we want you participating! And we want you to show your pride and identity, too.

All that we ask is that participants in some way identify with maleness or the MLM label (and of course abide with our DNI's). That is all.

[simplysaphique]

ooo i have a bit of knowledge abt gnc vs nb. being gnc changes based on your culture, environment growing up, perceptions of trad. femininity, etc. i'm an afab italian person (first gen in america, raised super catholic etc etc) so i was meant to marry a man my grandmother picked and baptize my kids and not go to college, by deviating from those standards (queer, atheist, not married at 18) i'm gnc. if i lived my life exactly the same way but i was raised by super progressive (1/?)

american parents that didn't put that value on traditional femininity i might not be gnc. but, i am nonbinary because i know i'm neither strictly a girl or boy. idk if this makes sense and it's all super confusing but i basically separated who i was from who my family wanted me to be. some people are gnc and cis, some are not gnc and nb, but what helped me the most was seeing if my actions and thoughts were conscious or subconscious and then asking myself where they came from. (2/?)

so "i don't want to marry giacomo giuseppe and have twelve catholic babies because that's not what i want from my life even though it's what's expected of me" vs "i feel uncomfortable being called a woman and having tiddies and all that" idk for me being gnc was a lot easier to verbalize, since i knew i was deviating from a norm. if you're nb, that is your norm, even if it's not how people perceive you. you have lived your whole life as a nb person so it's a bit harder to introspect on.

(3/4) i'm sure this makes no sense and is super confusing, but it's just what helped me. seriously the best thing to know is that identity is ✨fluid✨ and if you are nonbinary now and realize in 5 years you're actually a cis woman or a trans man it doesn't make your experience any less valid. also nonbinary lesbians are fucking awesome and def make my queer ass a lot gayer. (4/4)

sorry it took me a while to get to this ask but thank you for sending me all of this ! this definitely makes sense to me, especially the first part. i think i am gender nonconforming but still a cis girl. like my entire extended family is very christian, which i am not. and almost my entire extended family is straight, which i am not. (i have one gay cousin but we’re v distantly related.) i’m not very girly but i’m also not sporty, i feel like i don’t fit either box. and sometimes i hate having a female form but that’s probably just bc of the male gaze and how uncomfortable i am being seen by men in general. thank u sm 💘

[autoraton]

18, 26, 27 :)

18 . Are you questioning your identity?

When aren’t I? I changed from identifying as ace + bi to just queer a few months ago, because I had a weird epiphany where I realised that sexuality is super fluid and prone to change, and that using more specific labels was uncomfortable because it made me feel like I couldn’t change without making a big deal out of it.

With just being queer, it doesn’t matter if I start wanting sex, or stop wanting any kind of romantic relationship, or if I begin only liking girls, or identifying as gnc, etc etc, you know? It gives me a lot more freedom to just keep questioning my identify in a comfortable space.

26 . Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+?

Sexuality-wise, Fabian has big bi energy. Gorgug doesn’t ever really settle for a label or officially come out, he just likes whoever he likes, regardless of gender. Adaine is aro-ace and indifferent to sex. Riz hasn’t figured out where he lies on the aro-ace spectrum, but is inclined to get crushes on his guy friends. Also, he’s sex-repulsed.

Gender-wise, I don’t have any set headcanons because I love all of the trans and gnc Bad Kids headcanons I’ve seen so much that at this point none of them are cis. FTM Fabian is wonderful. Someone sent me an ask about MTF Adaine a while back and no, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I’ve seen content for nonbinary Gorgug that is just top tier, and I also love FTM Gorgug too. GNC Kristen and Fig is fantastic, as well as genderfluid Fig. Also, trans boy Riz.

And I haven’t thought that much about the ACOC gang, but Ruby, Jet and Saccharina are all wlw, and Liam is aroace.

27 . Some LGBT+ pairings you ship?

I mean, at this point we all know how I feel about Gorgug and Riz. Fabian and Ragh is also super cute, and Gorgug and Ragh is super cute, and Fabian and Gorgug is super cute, and Fabian and Gorgug and Ragh is super cute, and — well, yeah, you get the gist of it.

I don’t have any solid feelings for ACOC ships, but... I can’t deny there’s some unreciprocated, repressed stuff between Theo and Amethar.

Wanna hear more about my queer epiphanies and how no character is cishet? Send me an ask, buckaroo!

[genderpunktheo]

I feel caged in by 'cis' but also 'trans' and 'nonbinary'. But i feel if i don't label im not welcome in nonbinary and gnc spaces (those spaces always run together and i think it's wonderful tbh, cause sometimes there's not a clear cut line, but you have to label yourself SOMETHING and im like...dude they all feel like a cage, and im not sure its bc im not cis, it's just i HATE labelling my gender id so tightly. Does that make sense? Anyone else?

A lot of people struggle with labels - for some of us, they’re really useful ways to describe our experiences, for others they aren’t and that’s okay. I know a lot of people who don’t label their sexuality and instead choose to “go with the flow” so to speak. It can be the same with gender for many people. 

I’d like to clarify that “cis” and “trans” aren’t gender labels - that would be things like “man” “woman” “nonbinary” “agender” etc. that give a label to what your gender (or lack of gender) is. They’re names of genders. “Cis” and “trans” are adjectives describing your experience with that gender e.g. cis men and trans men are both men but have different experiences in claiming that identity. 

It’s a little unclear from your ask whether you aren’t sure about what your actual gender is or just unsure about what gender experience to claim but I’m gonna assume that it’s both?? 

It’s probably more helpful for you to worry less about things like “cis” “GNC” and “trans” and instead to just focus on what makes you comfortable and happy, regardless of labels. 

I will say however that “cis” isn’t really a label you can opt-out of. If someone still fully identifies with their assigned gender then they are cis. That’s a fact about how you experience gender, not an identity - in the same way that I don’t consider being “able-bodied” to be part of my identity but it is a fact about my experience and the privilege I hold because of it. 

Having said that, it sounds like you don’t fully identify with your assigned gender unless I’m misunderstanding you. And you don’t have to pick a label for that. 

I know some people use the term ‘non-cis’ - rather than picking a rigid label describing what they definitely are, they choose this more fluid label that describes what they’re not and leaves what they might be open. 

“Genderqueer” is also a label that means many different things to many different people - it was the label I used when I first came out because it was incredibly broad and left me room to explore and figure out what made me happy. For a while, I didn’t identify as nonbinary or as trans and just identified as “genderqueer” in order to express that I wasn’t cis but was still figuring myself out until I found more specific labels that were comfortable for me. 

Or you can just not label yourself at all. 

On the other hand, if you are cis you can be that and GNC - refusing to conform to ideas and expectations of your gender.

I hope you find what works for you anon ❤︎

Note: Genderqueer can, of course, be a gender label and full identity in and of itself. My experience with it is not everyone’s experience. But by nature, it’s a broad term trying to include a wide spectrum of identity so it’s a very useful phrase for people who don’t want to be caged.

[midnight-fox-boy]

More About me/Views/Etc.

Hello everyone~! This post will explain more about me, my views, and anything I flnd important to add. This will be kinda long so please buckle up ;3 

General Information

Age: 19 

Gender: Demifluidflux trans guy 

Pronouns: He/him, they/them is cool too

Sexual orientations: Gay, Demisexual

Romantic orientations: Gay, Demiromantic

Alterous Orientation: Homoalterous

Other: Polyamorous

Relationship status: Taken

I love anime, video games, drawing, singing, and just browsing the web. I like to learn new topics, and explore new ideas and sciences. I want to be a therapist someday, but if it doesn’t happen, that’s chill too. I’m polyamorous currently in a monoamorous relationship. I don’t usually participate in discourse but I do have opinions/views on different topics. I am mentally ill and prefer not to be attacked. If I do something wrong or say something offensive, I don’t mean it, or I’m simply uneducated on the topic when I thought I was. I’m happy to take polite criticsm and never mean to do harm to others. So nothing I say is ill-intended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Views on certain discourse topics

Aspec Discourse: I believe that aromantics and asexuals are inherently LGBTQ+ and should be welcomed. However, it’s up to them if they choose to identify with LGBTQ+ or not. 

Nonbinary discourse. Yes there are more than two genders. And no it doesn’t mean “Neither male or female” Nonbinary means: “Not explicitly a single binary gender” Which can mean someone can be both binary genders, one binary gender and other nonbinary genders, no binary gender, etc etc. So yes. I CAN be a guy and nonbinary. 

Xenogenders: I may not be able to comprehend it 100% But I KNOW that gender is diverse and confusing and you can label your gender however you want. Just be you! You have my support.

Nonbinary Gays/Nonbinary lesbians: YES nonbinary people can be gay or lesbian. Many of them are nonbinary women or men. Meaning they identify with womanhood/manhood no matter how that is. Maybe they have a primarily woman or man gender, maybe they’re man/woman aligned. Whatever. You do not get to dictate who is gay enough or lesbian enough :) 

(NO)MAPS: Are scum. Do not interact, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.If you support them then get the f**k off my blog please! I am a CSA survivor and will NOT tolerate pedophilia.

Am I a transmed/truscum? Am a tucute?: Well, no. I’m none of those. I do not believe dysphoria is required to be trans. As many studies show gender incongruence is all you need, dysphoria manifests in some trans people as a result of incongruence. Gender euphoria also exists. This is not a topic I would like to debate. However, I do believe that dysphoria or incongruence should be medicalized in SOME form in order for trans people to be able to get gender affirming treatments. (Hormones, surgeries). I would love to live in a world where those things are free regardless, however :/ (P.S. I am dysphoric)

Kink/BDSM: Well. I participate in BDSM and kink, but I do not post about it or discuss on my blog. I have spaces for that and this isn’t one of them. So no worries about running into any kinky posts on my blog. That wont happen. If it ever does, it was an accident. 

Transtrenders: I DO believe that RARELY, some cis people will pretend to be trans, not necessarily as a “trend” but to gain something in return, usually online. They may use it as an excuse to chase other trans people, or to have more “power” in a trans based argument. However, when people are accused of being trenders, they are usually not, they are just not what YOU feel gender should be. And people who fear they’re trenders? Impossible. You would know if you were faking. 

Self Diagnosis: I’m divided on this. You shouldn’t self diagnose many things. Like a heart condition, or cancer, or other extremes. But if you know you’re depressed all the time and can’t see a therapist, you probably have depression. If you haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD but experienced something trauamtic and show symptoms of PTSD, You probably have PTSD. If you were confirmed to likely have a certain mental illness but perhaps didn’t fit the “age requirements” for said diagnosis, you can probably take that as an unofficial diagnosis. As long as aren’t flaunting it to seem “cool” (and most don’t) and are using those self dx’s to find help resources online and such, you’re probably good. 

Fujoshis: Touchy topic I know. I do not agree when this word is used in specific contexts.

1) when girls think MLM relationships are “hot/sinful/sexy/dirty” , especially IRL MLM relationships, I think that’s fetishization, much like how many cishet men view WLW relationships  2) when it’s directed as a hate word towards gay trans men. I’ve been called a fujoshi for being a gay trans guy, and many of you probably have to. It’s wrong y’all. Gay trans men are gay men. Gay nonbinary men are gay men. 

Pansexual vs. Bisexual: Both are valid labels. All multisexual labels are valid. Labels are for you to feel comfortable with, and as long as you aren’t choosing one over the other due to biphobia/internilized homophobia, you’re probably good. Bisexual attracted to all genders? Valid. Pansexual with preferences? valid. Bisexual attracted to many genders? Valid. Pansexual and feeling attraction regardless of gender? Valid. Bisexual and identify the same way? Valid! 

Genital preference: Another touchy topic! The sad truth is that genitals DO matter to many people. Maybe it’s from truama, or an actual repulsion to a genital set. However, it should never EVER be used to excuse transphobia. You can not want to date a trans person who is pre-op, that’s fine, your loss not theirs. However, you cannot use that genital preference to see them as lesser, or as not “real” men/women. I personally have a preference for penises, but it’s only a preference. I would still potentially date a trans guy who is pre-op or never-op, but I prefer penises. But as I’m also gay, I likely wouldn’t date a trans woman who is pre-op/no-op. Because well, she’s a woman. So to summarize, genital preferences are OK as long as you aren’t a dick about it, or transphobic. :) 

Trans people and gender conformity: Alrighty. This is a favorite topic of mine. Do trans people owe gender conformity? Do nonbinary people OWE people androgyny? Nope. Cisgender people are gender-nonconforming all the time without dysphoria. We see butch cis women and Fem cis dudes all the time. So I say, why do trans men and women owe something different? While it is true that early in transition being GNC CAN cause dysphoria, that isn’t always the case. Early in transition I usually avoided feminine things and interests unless I was in the comfort of my home, but now I’m open to, and embrace my feminine and androgynous side. I’m in no way a woman, I just happen to enjoy some stereotypical feminine things. Many trans men do. As for nonbinary people, they can present however they want. Androgynous, feminine, masculine, fluid presentation, mixing it up, genderf**k, whatever. Their body, their choice. Sometimes you may be able to “tell” someone is nonbinary by looking at them, and that’s totally okay. There is no “looking nonbinary”. All looks on a nonbinary person are nonbinary. 

Anti/Anti-Anti?: Honestly I’m still confused in all of that stuff. Fiction CAN and HAS affected reality. That’s not to say that you can’t enjoy certain thinsg seen as “taboo” but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. PEDOPHILIA. You should not write, nor consume, fiction that presents a CHILD with an ADULT. It’s true that some pedophiles will write these to bring minors in and harass them. Even then, it gives stories for those sick f**ks to read. Do you REALLY want a pedophile reading your story? I guess I’m anti-ish. You can enjoy things that are otherwise problematic as long as you don’t let it affect how you treat people in the real world. Maybe you liked reading that fictional story about kidnapping and got off to it or something weird like that, as long as you aren’t trying to kidnap anyone or shit like that, I guess you do you, keep it to yourself though.

“NB” - Nonbinary or Non-black?: I went with POC voices on this. I will no longer use “NB” to mean nonbinary on my blog. You will likely just see “nonbinary” or “enby” used by me. 

Aspec, autistic spectrum or Asexual/aromantic spectrum?: I’ve seen very little evidence or claim on the side of “autistic spectrum” being the term. Many responses ive seen and sources claim it means asexual/aromantic spectrum, and has even been echoed by autistic people, a lot of them. If I see evidence suggetsing otherwise, I’m happy to change my language. I don’t want to be ableist. 

Butch/Femme, lesbian terms only?: I say no. I’ve seen a lot of articles, personal accounts, and history on the use of butch and femme. And none suggest they were terms only used by lesbians. From what I can tell, this idea seemed to be spread by “radical” lesbians and TERF’s. In history, many lesbians tried to distance themselves from all men, and encouraged non-lesbian women not to associate with men. This is obviously just a small tidbit of what they did in that time. However, I personally don’t use butch or femme, and don’t really plan to.

Specifically “weird” or crazy seeming kinks/BDSM styles: All I say is, you do you. If all parties are adults and consent to it, good on you. Just, keep it to yourself or in spaces dedicated to those things. As long as you don’t get off to ACTUAL CHILDREN, or try to bone or jerk it to an animal, you’re probably okay. Also don’t do incest, that stuff is bad. 

!!If there’s a discourse topic you’d like to see here, you can PM me or send me an ask. I’m happy to shed my opinions on stuff, but they will go here!!

[alibinary]

Possibilities / possible examples

I’ve seen a lot of people confused about how can they know whether they are mesobinary, viabinary, exobinary or ideobinary, if it’s not solely dictated by gender.

So here are some examples that might help:

Possible exobinary examples

⭑ Lyon is a maverique. Lyon's dysphoria makes them unable to decide on what kind of body they want, because they don't want a "feminine", "masculine", "androgynous" or "neutral" body. Lyon feels erased when people act like people who transition must be either transmasculine or transfeminine, or when people judge their presentation as masculine, feminine or androgynous. Lyon identifies as exobinary because they feel like they are completely out of the binary.

⭑ Allie is polygender. Some of faer genders are masculine or feminine, but most of faer genders are xenogenders, like caelgender, a gender relating to space, and gendoux, a gender relating to pastels. Fae feels like faer genders aren't acknowledged enough; most people who talk about them just do it to say they can't really exist, and Allie's local trans community has shunned faer for talking about faer "weird genders" instead of sticking to using gender identity just to define the body fae wants. Even if Allie has masculine and feminine genders, fae feels like the biggest hurdle fae faces is the lack of acknowledgement for different identities that don't rely on the binary at all, and this is why Allie only identifies as exobinary.

⭑ Yuri is genderless. Yuri identifies as exobinary and wants exobinary spaces because Yuri hates being gendered in any way, and even a lot of nonbinary-specific stuff acts like people can only be man-adjacent, woman-adjacent, feminine, masculine and/or androgynous.

⭑ Stela is a nonbinary girl. But ze is very political regarding hir identity; ze only identifies as a girl for political reasons, and would prefer people acknowledged the possibility of a world without the influence of binary genders. This is why Stela identifies as exobinary.

Possible ideobinary examples

⭑ Violli is an alteandrogyne; someone whose gender is androgyne, but a version of androgyne which is on a mirror universe/on a different plane of existence. Violli doesn't feel like eir identity is that related to binary genders and isn't comfortable with the idea that eir gender is just "in the middle" between male and female, but ey also doesn't see eir gender as completely independent from the binary, so ey just identifies as ideobinary within the alibinary system.

⭑ Giuli is a demiboy. He has a partial connection to the concept of boy, but he doesn't consider himself boy-adjacent. Giuli considers his gender to be a nonbinary mess, with some of this mess pointing to the idea of boyness and boyhood. He considers himself ideobinary because he doesn't feel close to a binary gender and considers his nonbinaryness more important than his boyness, but his gender relies on the concept of being a boy in some ways.

⭑ Jack is an antigirl/ungirl. This means xeir gender is defined as an opposite of girl. Jack doesn't consider xeir gender to be anywhere close to boy, just away from girl, and so xe has trouble figuring out xeir gender presentation and desired transition. Jack doesn't feel like xeir gender identity is free from the influence of binary genders, but also doesn't consider xemself close to binary genders, so xe identifies as ideobinary.

⭑ Wyr is genderfae, which means ver gender changes from time to time, but never to masculine genders. Wyr is sometimes a woman, or partly a woman, but a lot of the time, ver experiences genders that exist completely outside of the binary, such as maverique, neutrois or stargender, and sometimes Wyr is graygender or genderless. Ve also experiences feminine nonbinary genders sometimes, such as femgender. Wyr identifies as ideobinary and exobinary, since ve identifies with being outside of the binary and with having some relationship to the binary but not being close to it.

Possible mesobinary examples

⭑ Robin's gender is in-between woman and proxvir; a gender that is similar to man/male, but separate. To keep it simple, Robin just identifies as androgyne. Even so, zey feels like treating male and female as opposite universes that can't interact together in any way is invalidating zeir gender, and zey doesn't fit in very well with "fuck gender" jokes or "gender is not a thing" rhetoric. Robin describes zeir desired transition and presentation as transandrogynous, because zey wants to be in a state in-between binary genders, although zey finds it hard to find resources that don't equate androgyny with soft masculinity. Because of those things, Robin feels like mesobinary fits zem better than other terms within the alibinary system.

⭑ Jyoti is a neulier/gender neutral/femil/maverique polygender person. This means sie has many genders, and that one of hir genders is woman-like and entirely neutral, another is neutral, another is woman-like but masculine, and another is not male, female or neutral, but is a specific nonbinary gender that exists. Jyoti hates being seen as feminine and is undergoing hormone replacement therapy to be seen as more masculine, even if that means sie may get mistaken for a man. Even so, sie is not a man, and half of hir genders are woman-like, so sie would like to be able to participate in woman's spaces or identify with labels meant for women. This causes some problems, since people want Jyoti to "pick" between identifying as a trans man or as a cis woman, when sie is neither. Jyoti identifies as mesobinary because, even though sie isn't a man at all gender-wise and isn't much of a woman either, sie feels like hir experiences and struggles are close to those of people who are in-between binary genders.

⭑ Taylor is a man/woman genderfluid person. Taylor doesn't relate much to nonbinary-centric terms, such as diamoric or trixic, because hu is almost always either a man or a woman. However, hu doesn't think it's fair for hum to use terms such as sapphic or achillean on profiles since hu won't change those every time hus gender changes, and hu feels awkward on men-only/women-only spaces because people assume you can only be one and not be other the next day. Taylor identifies as mesobinary because, even if hu isn't "in the middle" between binary genders, hu feels like hu experiences similar issues to those who are.

⭑ Eri is a librandrogyne, which means voi is agender with a connection to androgyny. Eri wants voids androgyny acknowledged/respected, even though voi doesn't consider voidself as someone with a gender. Because of this, Eri identifies mainly as mesobinary, even if voi also identifies a bit with being exobinary and ideobinary.

Possible viabinary examples

⭑ Myriam is transfeminine. Myriam is generally fine with being seen/treated as a binary woman, but kit also wants kits nonbinaryness to be acknowledged, especially within nonbinary, trans and queer spaces. This is why kit identifies as viabinary.

⭑ Lex is a mutare, which means neir gender is always changing to something else. However, Lex doesn't mind being seen as a man in general, and some of the genders ne goes through are male-related genders anyways. Lex identifies as viabinary because even though neir gender identity is fluid and has multiple possibilities, ne doesn't like the idea of completely letting go from a binary identity and presentation.

⭑ Karo is a faesari: someone who's on the gender neutral spectrum, but who has a strong attachment to femininity. Gem doesn't really feel like a woman at all, but would like to be able to not care about being seen as a woman without getting or feeling invalidated for "not trying hard enough" to "look/act more nonbinary". Karo identifies as viabinary for that, but also as ideobinary, since gem fits that definition too.

⭑ Aldenir is a melle. As in, her gender is male, but not masculine at all; it's feminine instead. Aldenir considers her gender to be different from binary male, but related to it, and would like to be respected as a nonbinary person (instead of "just GNC") and as someone who isn't and doesn't want to be considered androgynous, neutral, transfeminine and/or a woman. Because of this, Aldenir identifies as viabinary.

Notes

⭑ The examples given are examples. Not everyone who is any of the gender identities listed will define them exactly as I have defined them here, not everyone who has those experiences needs to choose the labels or pronouns I've chosen here, etc.

⭑ These are *possible* examples because I want to stress there is not a huge pool of people who have defined themselves as exobinary/mesobinary/ideobinary/viabinary yet, these examples are all made up so I can show people what I am going for with this system.

⭑ Feel free to tag this blog on posts about using the alibinary system that you want to be shared!

[toontowncreepypasta]

I hope this isn't rude!! I've just been questioning for some time, but I wanted to ask how you found out you were bigender?

nah it's not rude dw. or i guess i should say that i don't find it rude. not everyone would be comfortable answering this. anyways, it's more of a long running problem then 'finding out' it was more like finding the correct label i guess. up until then i had been figiting around with agender, nonbinary, gnc male, whatever. i've had these feelings for a long ass time but i mostly just chalked it up to me "being trans wrong" and figured if i vocalized any of them my transition would be undermined and invalidated by LITERALLY everyone. i assumed that other trans peopel and my friends would assume that i was lying about being transmasc, and that cis people would find comfort in the idea that i was "really cis all along"

anyuways i started testosterone in march and decided i shouldn't monitor my gender based on the idea that my friends are all kalvin garrah ass lickers (surprise! none of them were, literally none. my friends r the coolest people ever and extremely accepting) but the general feelings were an attachment to a lot of the misogyny i experienced as a kid, misogyny i experience now, and the general feeling of "womanhood."

the thing is "womanhood" is something ive been disconected from both by being trans AND by being autistic. no matter what, even if i wasnt trans i wouldn't have ever been a "woman" or a girl in societies eyes. too fat too ugly too weird, etc. and i really started having these feelings the older i got because id relate more and more to conversations i'd hear about how minor events of misogyny. being punished for being masculine, being punioshed for being funny, being punished for being weird or creepy. being punished for being the "weird art freak" when men get away with it all the time.

that being said, i also still heavily identify as masculine. i love my body hair, it gives me gender euphoria. i love my facial hair even if it's pubey and gross. i love the idea of me gaining more muscle and getting top surgery and if there were bottom surgery options i'd like id love the idea of that too. due to this i've had people assume im a lesbian quite a few times, problem with that is is that despite being bi that ratios like 95% men and masc people, and 5% fem people. (im t4t). i also never feel like a woman, or a girl, i never did. but i also never feel like a male or a guy or a dude. im just me. miss faggot. a ladydude. a girl dad.

that being said i thought bigender was essentially ~fancy genderfluid~ and that it changed day to day, which... isn't accurate for me, lol. my gender isn't fluid, i mean it is about as much as it is for everyone else, but im not genderFLUID. my dysphoria fluctuates on if i'm mentally sound enough to not let it bother me, not if i wanna be more masc or fem that day. im a consistant, those feelings don't change like it does for some people. anyways i just asked at one point on some social media "hey is there a gender for being both at the same time" and someone was like thats bigender and i was like ? i thought bigender meant changing day to day and they were like jake....

ANYWAYS. thats it yeah sorry for rambling NBSAHFAHHAHAHA

[sleepy-royal]

Wanna know what's funny is an ironic but sad way?

Transphobic "Feminists" (AKA TERFS/FAKE FEMINISTS) trying to force transpeople, binary and nonbinary alike, into the bathroom of their assigned gender but it bites them in the fucking ass as cis women who "look like men", whether they are GNC or just look "manly", are harassed/pepper sprayed/etc in the fuCKING BATHROOM!

Like gender fluid AFAB individuals are being attacked and harmed over this bullshit propaganda that TERFs shove onto the populace and their cult members.

How did they not see this coming? You can't tell who is trans and who is cis by looking at their appearance(or their genitalia, in a shit ton of cases) as that's called Generalizing and making piss-poor assumptions about some innocent person.

[atomicgingerglitter]

so, long post ahead. beware. this is the story about how i once considered myself "nonbinary." i've always experienced some form of social and body dysphoria. socially, i wanted to be perceived as a man, because of how many times i've been assaulted or harassed in public places. bodily, i've sometimes wanted to get rid of my breasts, or at least greatly reduce them in size. or not be curvy, or have a penis. however, i still identified as a lesbian female. i've been in a loving lesbian relationship for almost three years. after the U.S. presidential election, i was crushed. this prompted me to join several "leftbook" groups on facebook. if you're not aware, it's just a portmanteau of "leftist facebook" and in it, genderist ideals, transactivism, and liberal feminism ran amuck. i was constantly coming across ideas like, anyone is trans as long as they say they are. you are whatever you identify as. etc. this came alongside ideas like, cis women are the worst people alive, and they oppress trans women (which all activist circles should center trans women, according to them). a lot of my friends from high school (i was in my senior year of college at the time, for reference) were coming out as trans, and honestly i felt that it was inspiring. a lot of ppl at my college were coming out as nb. i saw biological females identifying as "nonbinary demigirls" or "trans-masc" and were suddenly absolved of their original sin as a "cis" woman. so, all of this combined with my already existent dysphoria sparked an identity crisis. suddenly, i changed my name, pronouns, and started identifying as "non binary gender fluid." in everyday life, my "gender presentation," if you will, has always been very neutral, but sometimes i will be extremely feminine or extremely masculine so i felt that this fit, and i felt that it's what i truly was. suddenly, my name was "winter" and i went by "they/them" pronouns. also, important to note for later on, my hormones were entirely fucked up, and i hadn't had my period in a very long time. i even almost went to a informed consent clinic to get on T, but thank god i didn't. this identity spanned from november 2016 to about may 2017. in hindsight, i feel so awful for what it did to the people around me. i feel awful for my girlfriend. she's a lesbian, and i know that has to do with two biological females, but, i know she was uncomfortable with the fact that i could suddenly decide i was more a "man" than a "woman." she had to completely change her language around me. i met so many new friends that now only know me as "winter" with "they/them" pronouns. and everyone did so good about it, but i could tell they were on eggshells so they wouldn't offend me. not that i was even that extremist about it, but they were on eggshells because of the other trans people they knew, i would assume. then, around may-ish, i finally got my period after several months without it. i suddenly felt extremely feminine, and being called "winter" and "they/them" pronouns was making me feel extremely dysphoric. then, i read this article that transactivists were sharing all over facebook. i can't remember the name, but the gist was this woman was saying her daughter was a tomboy, not a trans boy. she was basically calling out people who automatically assume that their GNC kids are trans. she was saying it's okay for little girls to like stereotypically masculine things, and it's okay for little boys to like stereotypically feminine things. this made all the transactivists very angry. they basically said that her points were somewhat valid, but it didn't need to be talked about at all because it didn't center transness, and instead valued "non-transness" this is when i realized that i am just a sometimes GNC female woman. i have not said anything about it online, or to some of my real life friends, but all the people i live with and am close friends with know by my actual name and she/her pronouns. i am so scared to say anything, and to live with the stigma of being "detransitioned" to all my real life trans friends. i support my trans friends as individuals, as humans, but i do believe a lot of them have been coerced by the popular transactivist discourse into identifying as trans. when i was really into trans discourse, i remember my mom saying about trans women, "there's no way they have any idea what it's like to be a woman." and she's a centrist southern baptist, so i immediately dismissed her as a blatant transmisogynist. now i know what she means. they have no idea what it's like to be oppressed as a biological female. now, i think it's much more important for BIOLOGICAL males and females to know that they don't have to perform femininity or masculinity. let boys be feminine and let girls be masculine, but don't "trans" them. there is nothing wrong with being GNC, and oppression stems from biological reality, not personal gender feels. i believe that trans people do have their own sets of oppressions, and i truly have sympathy for many of them, but i don't think that should eclipse the activism for biological females. i now believe that me being dysphoric and wanting to distance myself from my femaleness, and womanhood, stems from my existential despair at being oppressed for being female, and the constant abuses i've endured as a female, including CSA. i'm not interested in personal gender feels anymore, i'm interested in liberating the female sex.