#Circling the Drain
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@crassussativum
Finding their way in under the belly of this community had been easier on paper than in practice. A week and a half in and Mav and Dius had only barely scraped the surface. A week and a half full of grunt-work. Following people, learning their schedule, long evenings in a roost nest, listening in, watching. Only to realize that no, this person was clean. Nothing to hide. They’re really as dull as they seemed. And so the next thread was pulled.
The wall inside their safehouse was full of photos, notes, lists, maps, schedules, names... Dius hardly even wanted to look at it any more, it’d give him a headache.
Living this close quarters to Mav had also been interesting. They’d reached some form of status quo maybe, since the first day they’d arrived here. It wasn’t a solid thing though. Some glass shards were still on the floor. And Dius tried not to step on any. Not wanting to upset the balance. He didn’t trust Mav anymore was the thing and he had a hard time figuring him out. His motives, his goals. His bloody reasons for all the weird shit he did or said.
Dius threw out with his arms in the air. “I give, fuck. We’re walking in circles!” He gave the wall an affronted look.
#crassussativum#indomitable!au#circling the drain#(obviously past Dius and Mav#(And idk if I have any goals with this thread. I just threw something out there
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Let's go with desire and hate for all 3 OCs pwease!
Desire -
Lou’s biggest desire was to get her father to leave home and leave her mother. And she was very open about that desire in the past, but dropped it eventually after it became clear that Joe Miller wasn’t going to leave and move to somewhere else in the same city, much less move to a different planet. Over Lou’s career as a bounty hunter and tech consultant, she has been saving money to help him travel and get him treatment. Like A LOT of money. He never takes her up on it though. This is a tragic desire that never gets fulfilled. Her second greatest desire is just to stop feeling so alone.
Nilea’s greatest desire is just to be doing something with her life that she can feel proud of. She never felt like she was doing anything worthy of pride in the military or in C-Sec, and her activities post leaving those careers were met with mixed results on the pride scale. She dropped everything in her life to go and pursue a nebulous goal of finding something to be proud of. It’s not so much that she isn’t open about this specifically so much as she isn’t really open about much.
Inonsi will tell you that her greatest desire is to become the most infamous and creative thief in the galaxy. And she engages in a great many shenanigans to do so. However, the loss of her first love, Tertus, left a hole in the fabric of her heart. She won’t admit this to anyone, even herself. But somewhere, deep inside, she chases that feeling all over the galaxy. Who doesn’t want to have love in their life?
Hate –
Lou hates the picture-perfect expectations her mother had for her growing up. She tried to go along with them and it ended up blowing up in her face (almost literally). And ever since, she has done everything in her power to live her life how she wants. She will tell you she doesn’t hate anything pure and simple, but if she ever finds a certain man named Luther in an alleyway, she won’t hesitate to beat the ever-loving shit out of him, but she hasn’t gone looking for him on purpose. She hates Aria’s taste in club music, but that’s neither here nor there. Otherwise, Lou tries not to hold onto hatred and anger, she really does.
Nilea hates … a lot of things. She’ll tell you that she doesn’t care that her father abandoned her family when she was a kid, but that’s a lie, she hates him for it. She’s pretty sure she’ll never get an opportunity to do anything about that at all, she’s pretty sure he’s dead. The only thing she has to direct her ire at about him is her own face bearing the family resemblance. Nilea hates a woman named Nicolett Key, but left the Citadel and never went back, which is probably for the best because she probably would end up dragging the woman around by her pretty little haircut. Nilea hates Cerberus for pretty obvious reasons and does make herself a thorn in their side on multiple occasions. Nilea also hates bad plans or no plans. And if you have a bad plan she’s going to tell you it’s a stupid fucking plan.
Insonsi hates drinking hard liquor straight and not much else. She doesn’t like to hold grudges, and is willing to let most things wash over her as just another drop in the ocean of experience. The men who killed Tertus are dead already, any thieves who best her just make her work harder to do better. She guesses you could say that she hates her old trainer, Laon, and her stupid, fucking, ancient tree.
#out of context lou posting#out of context nilea posting#inonsi you little menace#pass the knife#circling the drain
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Dyou think I could email my thesis supervisor and just be like ‘I’ve lost all faith in academia and don’t really know what the fucking point of me doing this is?’ Or —
#won’t get a job won’t get published#circling the drain#yeah I’m not a happy camper tonight 😶#personal
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I see pictures of the ‘50s, the ‘60s and the ‘70s and I see there was a difference. But I don’t think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking there’s some kind of change. But after you’ve been around awhile, they both seem unnatural. It seems like we’re going in a straight line, but then you start seeing things that you’ve seen before. Haven’t you experienced that? It seems we’re going around in circles.
Bob Dylan • Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel
#bob dylan#time#progress#revolution#cycle#circling the drain#circles#john dolen#1995#the sun sentinel#broward county#twin peaks#stephen hawking#younger than that now#changes#the times they are a-changin'#time is a flat circle#nihilism#existential nihilism#existentialism
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“Fuck it, I'm just a mess and depression doin' me wrong, it's a shame you mentally weak but your body physically strong”~Donnie Darko
Songs hits different when they hit home. Kain and Darko always speak truth and express relevant emotions.
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Superjoint - Circling the Drain
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[for @xxx-chazwickthurman-xxx - continued from here, ten years late]
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"Yeah," Blitz said, amusement making his tone both warmer and darker at the same time. "Yeah, you seen me on TV. That's totally the only place. We've definitely never met before, like when you were doing another job and trying to screw one of my employees over. Cause that would make this real fuckin' awkward." Today had been a weird one from start to finish, so it felt par for the course that he was running into Chaz now. Of course he was. Why not? He'd had an incredibly long day trying to get his latest contract wrapped up, and all he wanted was to grab a drink... but now he felt like he had grabbed something a little more interesting: an opportunity. Blitz was too damn tired and cranky and irritable to want to drive home tonight. Home was an empty, shitty place… which was honestly all the more reason for Blitz to be there, being the empty and shitty person that he was, but fuck it. Fuck it. He had the keys to a cheap motel room, a cheap cocktail in his hand, and enough self-hatred to make it ‘til morning.
All he needed now was a touch of violence.
This bar felt perfect. It felt like trouble, like danger had soaked into the woodwork somehow, ugly memories and uglier tomorrows blending into the kind of scum that no soap or hot water could ever scour away. Half the lights were out, the darkness felt half-alive, and the looks the people in there were giving him were less than friendly--other than the ones Chaz was giving him, anyway. Chaz. This fucker. The others looked like regulars. A tough crowd. Mostly sinners, but there were some Hellborn scattered around here and there.
Blitz leaned back in his seat, watching the shark, then tapped a claw on his plate of fried cheese dusted with salt and crushed eggshells. "I got dinner." Kind of. "You wanna sit with me, have a bite? Seems like you might, uh, do better if you have something in your stomach that's not just booze."
Like Blitz was one to talk.
Chaz was still charming at least. Maybe there was something missing there, or out of place–like maybe he didn’t completely belong in this miserable bar with these miserable fucks–but he was definitely charming. The way he smiled looked, at least to Blitz’s eyes, polished. Professional. Chaz knew he was a looker and he knew how to use that to his advantage, but he also looked like there were probably doubts in there somewhere, maybe an insecurity or two. Flaws.
And if he was flawed, then, fuck. He was fucking perfect. And he didn’t seem to already be here with anyone… and the way he smiled–was he looking to leave here with someone? Shit, picking someone up might be even more fun than just trying to get himself beaten into unconsciousness.
"Actually, you know what? Hold that thought. Sit down, hang out. I'll be right back."
Blitz took his time, trying to sober up enough that hitting on the pretty shark wouldn’t actually be offensive. He slipped back to the bathroom and washed his hands and face, rinsed his mouth out, and met his own eyes in the mirror…
Which was a mistake. The ugly, heartless, useless piece of shit staring back at him, who just broke anyone he cared about, made that much obvious.
He looked away from the mirror quickly, dried off, and headed back out.
“So.” Blitz sat back down with him, folded his arms over his stomach, and put on a warm, intimate smile. “What’s a handsome fucker like you doing alone in a shitty dive like this? You wanna get outta here, go grab some dinner that wasn’t cooked in year-old grease?”
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*News: Conservative justices decide in favor of absolute immunity for official presidential acts but not private acts*
How can anyone be surprised the judges appointed by 45 served a ruling in his favor? Anyone could see this coming, I'm only surprised how brazen these rulings have become.
"The President of the United States is the most powerful person in the country, and possibly the world. When he uses his official powers in any way, under the majority’s reasoning, he now will be insulated from criminal prosecution. Orders the Navy’s Seal Team 6 to assassinate a political rival? Immune. Organizes a military coup to hold onto power? Immune. Takes a bribe in exchange for a pardon? Immune. Immune, immune, immune." ~ Justice Sonia Sotomayor [lib., one of three who dissented] https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2024/jul/01/supreme-court-trump-immunity-claim-decision-updates
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here we go again
#living here feels like#circling the drain#I’m sick of my sister depending on me AND expecting to do everything w her#and to want to do everything with her#like no#i don’t want all my nights out to be with you#i don’t want to go w you every time you need something from the store#i don’t want to feel like your keeper#i just feel so frustrated and everyone is telling me that i do this to myself#and i make it up in my head or whatever#and it’s like i literally. cannot tell her no#i don’t want to do xxx w her#because then she just says she’ll wait or won’t go#like NO that is NOT the point#the point is that I’m not fuckimg going w you and you need to do it on your own#the point is that you need a fucking hobby outside your bedroom walls#outside the fucking house#one that DOESNT involve me#personal
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disciple luo binghe, running errands for his shizun one day, somehow manages to be in the exact wrong (right) place at the exact wrong (right) time and catches shang qinghua meeting with mobei jun
in order to keep luo binghe from tattling right away, shang qinghua dissembles in a panic and claims that his clandestine meetings with mobei jun are happening because they're lovers and definitely not because shang qinghua is betraying the sect and handing their secrets over to demons in order to save his own hide. when that almost doesn't work, he also tells luo binghe that he knows he's part demon, and that if luo binghe rats him out then shang qinghua will take him down with him. mutually assured destruction
it works, and even though luo binghe threatens him quite a bit (jeez kid calm down, you might be the almighty protagonist but also you're like sixteen) he agrees to keep shang qinghua's fraternizing a secret. but if ANYTHING BAD should happen to the sect or especially to luo binghe's shizun because of this, luo binghe will take shang qinghua down even if it does ruin his life too
shang qinghua, now sweating even more bullets about the impending immortal alliance conference: cool! cool cool cool sounds great cool yeah
so shang qinghua can add "being blackmailed by the punk ass brat I sort of created" to his list of stress-inducing woes. which gets even worse when luo binghe keeps somehow sensing if mobei jun is around for more than a couple hours and showing up, and picking fights with him?? kind of??
wtf has the protagonist been taking tips from liu qingge or something...?
shang qinghua feels like he's gonna have a heart attack when mobei jun just snorts and tosses luo binghe by the scruff like he's an annoying yappy dog
mobei jun actually knows what's up though. teenage half-demon who has never been around his own kind has become spoiled by the lack of competition on this front, and now his hackles are all up because he wants to claim the whole mountain range as his territory, and his instincts are screaming at him to challenge mobei jun about it so that they can decide who is actually top dog. since mobei jun could easily kill him, especially with his blood sealed, and has been clawing rocks and pissing on trees along the borders of an ding peak since before luo binghe was born, he's clearly got seniority here
and since qinghua doesn't want mobei jun to just kill the little shit (fair enough -- that sealed bloodline does look kind of interesting) that means it's up to mobei jun to teach him how to do things like interact with other demons without making a complete fool of himself. lesson one: what to do when you challenge someone out of your league and they win, assuming they don't just kill you
so luo binghe reluctantly gains another demon tutor
meng mo actually approves. he's been out of the loop on demon high society for a long time, and has lacked a body for long enough too that he's forgotten a lot of the particulars of socializing. it'll be good for luo binghe to pick up some manners that aren't just silly human tea ceremonies and things. maybe he'll start addressing meng mo more respectfully for a change!
(lol no)
luo binghe is partly like "I don't need to learn demon social skills since I'm spending the rest of my life as a disciple of qing jing peak" but partly like, well, if shizun knew about this and didn't freak out about it, he'd probably say that knowledge is power and learning how to handle politics and diplomacy of all kinds is important. and despite himself luo binghe is also interested, because this is a whole perspective on his own nature that he's never really gotten advice about
also, mobei jun is the lover of shang qinghua? mobei jun is a demon who successfully seduced a cang qiong peak lord? does he have any advice about that?
(he does -- all of it very bad)
anyway all of this sort of fucks up the immortal alliance conference developments really good, so the system kind of gives up and settles on some other big transformative achievements that luo binghe has to complete in order to be suitably heroic
but shen qingqiu has no idea and so the reprieve just seems to come out of nowhere until several years later, when he walks in on luo binghe with his claws out and huadian gleaming in the company the demon king of the northern desert, the two of them playing weiqi or something while they wait for shang qinghua to get back from some random logistics crisis he had to rush off to
shen qingqiu: ...?!?
luo binghe, panicking: wait shizun I can explain it's not what it looks like SHIZUN I SWEAR I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU PLEASE DON'T BE MAD--!
shen qingqiu: all this time I thought you were sneaking out to meet a girl, and this was what you were doing instead?!
luo binghe: WHAT?? shizun no I'd never do that I swear I don't even like girls!
shen qingqiu: that's not -- wait what do you mean you don't even like girls?!
mobei jun, unperturbed and still focused on the weiqi board: he's gay
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#moshang#most anticlimactic reveal of all time#luo binghe had several plans for how to do it but he kept chickening out at the last minute#so now he's gonna get all his secrets randomly outed by a bored mobei jun who is mad at losing a board game#while sqq's brain keeps stopping and restarting trying to figure out what to freak out about first#lbh: it's the demon thing oh no he's upset about the demon thing#sqq: already knew the demon thing and is circling the drain around 'gay' and 'mobei jun is here' instead#sqq: wait is the girl he's been meeting MOBEI JUN???
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studies from the finale
#nicholas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#trigun#trigun stampede#honestly the grand highlight.#anyway i think i ... drained all my thoughts of ep12 on saturday. i was like... all day drawing stuff for that episode and then circling#those thoughts but mainly#im just excited for season 2. im so so excited for s2. AND IM EXCITED FOR.. all of the steady appearance of trimax stuff again#like when they recited quote to quote of vash and knives conversation when they were on their way up to space#the i'll keep running and after 150 years this is what you have to say godddddd#GODDDDDD i felt so much in that moment. GODDDDDDD#IM REALLY EXCITED... because i dont know what to necessarily expect from s2 too. there is a LOT of setup that happened in s1 and it#will fundamentally change how we view the characters and their relationships to one another i think? especially the main trio and#and and and and MILLLLYYYYYYYY GAHHHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR HER!!! MILLY!!!!!! we all knew she was coming back. it was only natural.#i really hope they keep as Much as they can from the original design. ESPECIALLY HER PERSONALITY. god. do not take away her personality. and#do not take away her bigness i will CRY. but overall im happy the og 4 are going to be back and theyll be closer than before bc of all they#experienced together.... and ahhhh everything with knives... vash and his eriks arc....#im rambling again but there's obviously a lot of hype there...eughh eughehu i love trigun so much i love love love love trigun#ruporas art
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Bitty? Eric Bittle? Eric Richard Bitty Bittle? you put Taylor Swift songs on your playlist of songs reminding you of the Check Please! by Ngozi Ukazu character Eric Bittle?!!!!?!?!?!?!
THIS MAN?!!!
do you have any IDEA why Beyonce getting snubbed for grammys in lieu of the paragon of white woman mediocrity would MAKE BITTY MAD?!!
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So—got to thinking (and talking with @magentamee) about the “it doesn’t have to be a one way” line that @chirpsythismorning posted about and realized that yes, it’s likely an implicit ref to Mike’s queerness…but perhaps less as a comment on the specifics of Mike’s sexuality (gay, bi, etc), and more on Jonathan’s inability to figure out what Mike’s sexuality is given his actions.
I already pointed out in that post that the “one way” alludes to the one way sign into Mike’s closet (aka his hidden queerness), but: given it’s Jonathan who says the line, I think it’s more important to look at his experience with Mike + queerness across the season at that point...namely how (at the time he says this) he’s officially the only witness to the convo where his brother all but confesses to his feelings for Mike—
—aka something which Jonathan is clearly perceptive to the subtextual queerness of, and that we see him respond to (at least in the case of his brother) with gentleness and openness:
Now, given that he sees Will’s queerness so plainly, it would be naive to write him off as not being suspicious of Mike’s sexuality as well (both having seen their relationship up close / wanting to protect his brother, on top of just knowing Mike)—and the subtext makes clear that he is suspious, which we can glean from the repeat “dual meaning” lines from him when talking to and referencing Mike (not Will) after the van scene:
It’s Jonathan who comes at us with the “straight? It doesn’t make sense” and this “it doesn’t have to be one way” lines, both clearly referring to Mike (subtextually, though Mike is in frame/convo both times), rather than Will—intimating that it’s Jonathan, not Mike, who is (at least in these scenes) struggling to understand why Mike is acting the way he is, esp in regards to the way he behaves around his all but confirmed gay brother.
Basically: I think this line refers not to Mike’s experience with his own queerness (liking girls or not) and a lot more to Jonathan’s attempts to make sense of the Mike he's seeing (dating El but flirting with his brother)—
—especially given that Jonathan “people don’t always say what they’re really thinking but when you capture the right moment, is says more” Byers has an open (minded) sign over his head in the infamous boys "on el's mind" shot not seconds after this line is said.
TL;DR: the “one way” line is talking about Mike’s queerness yes—but likely from Jonathan’s “wtf is going on” perspective. The wider context shows the “but what about his attraction to girls” aspect of it all is likely Jonathan’s line of questioning, rather than Mike’s own.
#these were the thoughts circling in my head like a drain watching Zone of Interest of all things. good lord#also: stop taking Jonathan’s purpose away from him in the fandom for 500 pls lol#byler#byler in-law#jonathan byers#mike wheeler#will byers#gay mike wheeler#my st commentary#stranger things
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"They were good guys. And I don't think the people who killed 'em ever knew that."
#critical role#candela obscura#candela obscura spoilers#brennan lee mulligan#sean finnerty#mine **#messed up 2 bits of text but !! yeah i . keep thinking abt the idea of#this homerun being sean's only victory *ever* . in his Entire Life .#and the idea that tony's belief in him and jimmy's words - both dying and thus leading to#sean as his Own ball . circling a storm drain . except without Any of his brothers to fish him out#and i Lie down.......
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So Buck saying to Bobby, “I drove you crazy, but I think you spent so much time trying to make sure I didn’t get myself killed that it made you remember what it is to live” really uhh….really means so much more now huh?
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