#Christy was pan like Merle as well

[southern-titan]

OOOOOH so will is like def bi then?

//He'd never admit to it while sober, but yes. Will is bisexual. But, again, he's also wildly queerphobic, so there isn't really a circumstance outside of being black-out drunk where he would willingly admit to that.

[mythicalsecretsanta]

Cookie Crisis (T)

This gift is for: Ellie (AKA @elliefcutie)

Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy this, I really loved writing it. Hope your 2019 brings you only the best things!

A note on the rating/content. It’s rated G but they are drinking alcohol so I put it as T…idk E seemed like overkill. anyway, tw drinking. It’s platonic love with a whiff of Rhink. nothing remotely explicit or sexual though.

From your Secret Santa, Liz (AKA @mythicaliz)

Link to AO3 or read below:

As much as he loved his peace and quiet, Rhett also loved when his house was bustling with the chaos of both pairs of the Mclaughlin and Neal boys. It was two days before Christmas and both families were enjoying their dose of pre-Christmas excitement. Christy had made an emergency trip back to North Carolina to help after her father had broken his leg. She’d been there for three weeks and was due home the next evening, just in time for Christmas. Link and Lily were home, baking cookies for her church youth group’s Christmas eve party.  It was the first Christmas both families would be in Los Angeles and they were all looking forward to building new family traditions. It was nine pm, dinner was long over, the younger boys were in bed and the older pair played video games in the basement.

Rhett walked into the rec room and placed a bowl of popcorn and two cans of Mello Yello on the side table, and left unnoticed by the two teenage boys. Rhett leaned against the door jam and watched them, their figures, silhouetted by the flashing video game on the TV. Locke sat on the sofa, his gangly awkward body reminded Rhett’s of his own at his age. Some parts too tall already, other parts still somewhat boyish. Lincoln sat on the floor beside Locke. Every day he looked more and more like his father and Rhett couldn’t help but enjoy seeing his best friend grow up right before his eyes all over again.

“Get ‘em!” Lincoln shouted as he and Locke worked in tandem to take down the boss they were fighting. Victorious, they high fived and Lincoln flopped down on the couch beside Locke. The video game beaten and forgotten, the conversation turned to a girl in Lincoln’s class that he liked. Rhett wanted desperately to hear what horrible advice Locke was going to give Lincoln, but instead he decided to give the boys their privacy.

Rhett headed up stars, past Shepard’s room. Shep and Lando had gone to bed an hour ago but he still heard fits of giggles coming from the room. He cracked the door open and the pair were under Shepard’s comforter with a flashlight, telling silly stories and making eachother giggle. Rhett closed the door and couldn’t help but grin.

He felt a slim arm wrap around his waist in a sideways hug.

“You love having them here, don’t ya?” Jessie said as she gave him a squeeze.

“Yeah. It brings back a lot of good memories I have with Link. I’m glad our boys get to have them too.”

“You’re so lucky to have him,” she said as she rested her head on his arm.

“Yeah, y’know I was talking in therapy how it’s taken me so long to admit how important Link is to me. I mean.. I…uh…”

“You love him. And I love that you love him,” Jessie responded.

Rhett’s phone rang and he dug it out of his pocket. “Speak of the devil,” he said as he pulled away from Jessie, pacing up and down the hall as he took the call.

“The kids are fine, Link… oh no what’s going on… okay okay slow down brother, what do you need?”

Rhett sighed and looked up at Jessie, his hand cupped over the receiver and whispered, “You okay to handle the boys on your own? Link’s in a jam.”

Jessie rolled her eyes and nodded.

“I’ll be right over,” he said into the phone and hung up.

“Everything alright?” Jessie asked.

“Yeah, Link’s neighbour, y’know Elise? Her husband is out of town and her son’s appendix burst, she’s at the hospital with him and Lily’s emergency babysitting the two younger kids, which leaves Link to have to make a hundred gingerbread cookies for tomorrow and he’s in a state.”

“Oh gosh, don’t let that man bake!” Jessie said with a grin.

“I’d better get over there before the damn house burns down. Don’t wait up,” he said as he kissed her on the cheek and ran downstairs.

The drive to Link’s was a breeze, he could do it in his sleep. Two left turns, down to the end of the cul de sac. Easy. But it was already nine thirty. Normally he’d be watching something on Netflix with Jessie, thinking about going to bed. But he knew he had a long night ahead of him.

He pushed Link’s front door open and entered the foyer where he hung up his jacket.

“DANGIT!” Link exclaimed with a clatter of pans from the kitchen.

Rhett ran in to see Link holding his hand around his red wrist, eyes full of tears as he cursed up a storm.

Rhett grabbed Link’s hand a thrust it under the faucet which he turned as cold as it would go. He held Link’s hand there for a moment until Link nodded. Rhett got a clean tea towel from the drawer and some ice from the fridge. He balled the ice up in the towel, turned off the water, and held the ice to Link’s wrist.

“Better?” Rhett aked.

“Yeah, thanks,” Link sighed. “I was taking a pan of cookies out and hit the upper rack with my wrist.”

“Well, on the bright side, you only broke one cookie and they look pretty good!,” Rhett said as he picked up half of a broken gingerbread man. He blew on it for a few seconds and then took a large chomp out of the cookie. His eyes crossed a little as he looked around for something to spit it into.

“Oh come on! They can’t be that bad!” Link said as Rhett retched into a garbage can.

“Salty…” he whispered, “So salty!” Rhett chugged a glass of water. “Why so salty?!”

“No, that’s not right, there’s only a teaspoon of salt, lemme taste,” Link said, grabbing the cookie Rhett had taken a bite of.

“Nuh-uh,” Link said as he spit his out too.

“You must have mixed up the salt and sugar,” Rhett replied as he chugged another glass.

“Gosh this is hopeless!” Link replied.”Christy has everything in these unmarked bins, I don’t know what’s what! I’m workin’ blind here!”

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Rhett said as he smoothed out his beard. “Where’s your recipe?”

Link pointed to a stained piece of paper on the counter.

Rhett muttered to himself as he read the recipe. “This seems straightforward enough. I’m gonna order all new ingredients, get them sent over by Postmates, so we know what everything is.” He pulled out his phone and ordered what they needed along with a few other items he deemed essential.

“Okay, while we wait, I’m gonna clean up so we can start with all clean utensils. First, lemme see your wrist.”

Link sheepishly pulled back the ice bag, and Rhett pressed his index finger on the burn.

“Ouch, Rhett,” Link said softly.

“It’s still hot, put the ice back on. You sit down. Maybe put some music on?”

“Alexa, play Merle Haggard’s Christmas Present,” Link said to the speaker on the kitchen counter.

Merle’s soothing voice began singing, “If We Make it Through December.” Rhett sang along as he filled the sink with soapy water and threw measuring cups and mixing bowls in. He took a cloth and wiped down the large marble kitchen island and swept the floor. In no time the kitchen was sparkling and the Postmates guy had arrived with their order. Link unpacked the bags. Flour, sugar, icing sugar, butter, baking powder, molasses, pasteurized egg whites, cream of tartar, spices, eggs, vanilla, milk, parchment paper, a glass jug of eggnog, and a bottle of rum.

“Really?” Link said, gesturing to the rum and eggnog.

“Look, it’s gonna be a long night, and we’re in need of some good old Christmas cheer,” Rhett said with a grin as he grabbed two glasses from the cupboard.

“I meant really? Rum? Were southern boys, we drink bourbon,” Link said as he pulled a bottle of Southern Comfort out of a high cabinet and handed it to Rhett. “Besides, I had a bad experience with rum once. Remember in college?”

“I remember, you were rough!” Rhett laughed as he poured them both a spiked eggnog and held out his glass. “Dink it,” he said.

“And sink it,” Link said, reluctantly clinked glasses and drank.

Rhett read through the recipe again, muttering to himself. “Alright, doctor, two sticks of butter,” he said, with an outstretched palm.

“Doctor?” Link said as he began to peel the wrapping off the butter.

“STAT!” Rhett said with a grin.

“Alright, doctor,” Link rolled his eyes as he handed the butter off to Rhett.

A few minutes later Rhett shut off the stand mixer and scraped the dough into a ball which he placed on a well floured counter.  He shaped it into a disk and reached for the rolling pin.

“Wait!” Link exclaimed, “Quality control!”

Rhett pinched off a small ball of dough and threw it to Link who popped it in his mouth. A bright grin broke out on his face.

“Good?” Rhett asked as he pulled off a taste for himself. Link nodded.

Rhett rolled out the dough in long strokes until it was the perfect thickness. He tentatively pressed the cookie cutter into the dough. He pulled it up, relieved to see a perfect impression of the gingerbread man in the dough. His tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth as he slid a spatula under the raw cookie and delicately placed it on the parchment lined sheet. “Phew!” he said, “One down, ninety-nine to go.”

“This is gonna take forever,” Link sighed.

“You keep cutting these out, and I’ll start the next batch of dough,” he said as he tossed the cookie cutter to Link. Before he began the next bach he topped off both of their drinks. Link was right, it was going to be a long night.

Link cut out as many men as he could from the dough then balled up the scraps to reroll it to make more. He pressed the dough into a disk and began to roll it out again with the large wooden rolling pin. “Ugh!” he said as he struggled.

Rhett turned off the stand mixer and moved over to assist Link. “Here, we need to flour your rolling pin so it doesn’t stick,” Rhett said as he reached around Link and held the handle, his hand over Link’s as he liberally applied flour to the pin. He slid his hands past Link’s waist and guided Link’s hands over the handles of the pins and showed him how much pressure to apply and how to get a smooth, even surface. His beard bristled against Link’s ear as he softly said, “Easy now.”

“Like this, Rhett?” Link almost whispered.

“Perfect,” Rhett replied. He couldn’t help but notice how naturally they fit together. How his height allowed him to see clearly over Link’s shoulder, how his arms fit around Link’s slim waist and how their fingers intertwined over the handles of the rolling pin. “You got it,” he said as he pulled his hands away and returned to the mixer.

“How do you know this stuff anyway?” Link asked as he pushed up his glasses with a floured hand. “It’s not like you bake.”

“Nah, but I do watch way too many hours of Food Network,” Rhett said with a wink as he turned out a second batch of dough.

A few minutes later the first batch of cookies were ready to come out of the oven. “Let me do it, I don’t want you to burn yerself again,” Rhett said as he grabbed the oven mitt from Link. Slowly he pulled them out of the oven and placed them on the stove top. “What d’ya think?” He asked.

“They smell great!” Link said cheerfully, “But I don’t know if they’re done?”

“Remember what Josh said? If they look browned they’ll be burnt. Let’s leave them a few minutes to firm up. In the meantime we’ve earned ourselves another drink!”

Link poured this time and quickly they’d downed another spiked eggnog. The cookies cooled and Rhett picked one up. He broke it in half with a satisfying snap and handed half to Link. They both took a bite and grinned at each other at the delicious result.

They developed a system, Rhett made the dough, Link rolled it out and cut it, Rhett pulled them out of the oven and transferred them to cooling racks and they started over again, pausing for another boozy eggnog in between each batch. Soon, all the cookies were done baking and they had over a hundred gingerbread men in front of them to be decorated.

Link poured various candies and sprinkles into small bowls while Rhett mixed up a batch of royal icing. He spooned the thick white cream into a pastry bag, picked it up, and began to pipe decorations onto the first cookie. He squeezed the bag and the icing shot out quicker than he anticipated.

“Arghhhh,” he exclaimed. Link turned around from washing dishes at the sink and grabbed Rhett’s hand, pulling it up to his mouth and licked the icing that was dripping down the side of Rhett’s hand and his wrist.

“Did you really just do that?!” Rhett said, tears forming as he doubled over in laughter.

“Whut ihs thusss?” Link tried to speak with a mouthful of thick icing.

“Mostly egg whites,” Rhett said, laughing even harder.

“Ugh,” Link said as he spat the icing into the garbage and drained his glass of eggnog.

“You licked me!”

“Well, it seemed like the most reasonable thing to do at the time,” Link replied with a toothy grin.

“Gosh you’d think after thirty five years I would have seen that coming.”

“What can I say, Rhett, I’m full of surprises!”

Rhett washed his hands and picked up the icing to try again. This time, with a more delicate touch, he was able to get better control and pipe icing onto various candies which Link affixed to the gingerbread men to dress them up. Gumdrop buttons, silver ball eyes, licorice scarves. They looked adorable. Homemade, very homemade, but adorable.

Two hours and a few more drinks later, they were almost done. Link’s hips swayed along to Merle singing, My Favourite Memory. “There’s a million good times I could dwell on, but you are my favourite memory of all,” he sang as he washed the last few dishes.

“There’s a million good day dreams to dream on, but, baby, you’re my favourite memory of all,” Rhett sang as he decorated the last two gingerbread men. Theses ones were different than the others. One had icing abs and spiky icing hair, the other glasses and cross hatched icing plaid pants. “Look Link, it’s us,” Rhett grinned as he held up the two gingerbread men.

“Well, ain’t we cute,” Link said as he shut off the tap.

“You wanna eat me, or you?” Rhett asked, holding out the cookies.

“Ha! I’m not sure how to answer that? You I guess?” Link said, taking the Rhett cookie.

“Why’d you pick me?” Rhett said as he bit the head off the Link cookie.

“I dunno, practice for the apocalypse I guess when I’ll have to cannibalize you?” Link grinned as he ate a foot. “Dang these are good. Thank you for all your help, Rhett,” he said. “Crap it’s two in the mornin’. We can leave the rest of the dishes till tomorrow. I just remembered the guest room has no clean sheets right now. You wanna sleep on the couch or with me?”

“You, I guess. Be like our sleepovers we used to have ‘round Christmas time as kids.”

Link yawned and nodded. The pair made their way upstairs. Rhett had a toothbrush in the spare room from times when he’d be there working late so he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He pulled off his jeans and sweatshirt and padded down the plush hallway carpeted in his boxers and black v-neck t-shirt. He crawled into bed and assumed the usual rigid position he took when sleeping with Link, flat on his back to minimize contact.

A few minutes later, after completing his rigorous nighttime routine, Link crawled into bed. “Night brother, thanks again, you really saved me. I just want this Christmas to be so special. Our first Christmas in Los Angeles and all.”

“Happy to help. Hey… Link… ” Rhett whispered but before he could say what he wanted to, Link began to lightly snore.

A few minutes later Link’s arm was around Rhett’s waist, as he slept with reckless abandon. Normally Rhett would gently reposition Link’s arm so they weren’t cuddling. Maybe it was all the bourbon, or the Christmas spirit, or just the fact that he’d finally admitted to himself how important to him Link was, but he left it there.

For so many years of bed sharing he’d always fought Link’s touch but there was a niceness to it. This was their first Christmas away from home, but here, with his grey haired best friend nuzzling into his chest, he knew home wasn’t North Carolina, or Los Angeles or anywhere in between. Link was his home.

He sighed and breathed in the unmistakably earthy, clean smell that defined Link,and the lingering smell of molasses and bourbon. It was almost more intoxicating than the alcohol. For the first time he let his arm wrap around Link’s back and pull him closer. He swore he could feel Link’s lips curled into a smile against his chest as Link sighed contently and snuggled deeper. Rhett smiled too as he drifted off to sleep with his best friend in his arms.

Rhett woke up with the sun streaming through the California shutters in Link’s bedroom. It took him a few to seconds to remember he was at Link’s and it was Link wrapped up in his arms, a leg casually thrown over his, Link’s grey hair a mess under Rhett’s chin. Rhett smiled and gave Link a gentle squeeze. Maybe if things had gone differently in high school or college, or maybe if they’d grown up somewhere other than rural North Carolina, this would be how he would wake up every day, with Link in his arms. But that would be another Rhett in another universe. He was just grateful for all the things he did have. To be able to spend all day with Link, to build a business and live their childhood dreams.

“Hey,” Link said softly. He looked up at Rhett, his eyes impossibly blue without his glasses. “Uh, sorry for all the cuddling… awkward,” Link said as he pulled his leg off Rhett’s.

“No worries,” Rhett said, his arms still wrapped around Link.

“Wanna go get breakfast at the diner? My treat for all your help?” Link asked.

“Sure, can… can we stay here a little while longer?” Rhett asked.

“Sure, brother,” Link said, his head rested on Rhett’s chest again. “Hey Rhett, it’s Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Link. Love you, brother,” he said as he gave Link a squeeze.

“Love you too, Rhett,” Link replied as his arm wrapped around his waist again, with a knowing squeeze. In a few hours the kids would come home, and Link would go to the airport to pick up Christy. There would be church and presents and Christmas excitement, but right now it was just Rhett and Link. They closed their eyes and both dozed off again, stealing one more hour together.