#Christmas Chronicles

[longreads]

’Tis the Season to Kill the Dead-Mom Holiday Movie Trope

"Look, I get it: I’d also be relieved to find out my new bonk buddy wasn’t a philanderer. I’m not mad at Cameron; I’m mad that the dead wife-mom is a plot device in more Christmas movies than I can stuff in a stocking."

Before you curl up with a holiday movie, check out Cat Modlin-Jackson's new Longreads feature. It might just make you think differently about those festive frolics.

[hottestsantatournament]

HOTTEST SANTA SEMI-FINAL

MATCHUP:

Christmas Chronicles (Kurt Russel) VS. Rise of The Guardians (Alec Baldwin)

REMINDER: THIS POST ONLY LASTS A DAY! PLEASE SPREAD SO THAT WE CAN GET THE BEST RESULTS. thank you I love you

[daisymintt]

Santa Rant

You know what I’m getting tired of? The skinny Santa Claus trend. Santa is fat and happy why do they keep making him skinny? In Christmas Chronicles when the kids are surprised by Santa’s appearance Santa says that he’s not “fat and sloppy”. What’s wrong with being fat? And Santa has never been described as sloppy! He’s jolly and fat and theirs nothing wrong with that! Red One they have JK Simmons as a ripped Santa because that’s more “bada**”. Santa can be fat and bada** just look at Rise of the Guardians and Klaus! And the Target Santa is suppose to be “hot” but why couldn’t he be fat and still be considered hot? It’s 2024 people!

[restlesssinner]

Since X-mas is coming up soon, here’s some Santa lore to quiet those non-believers:

The reason Santa makes it to so many houses in one night isn’t just magic, it’s because he only brings presents to kids who write him letters. Do you know a lot of kids who still write letters?

Also, most of the kids that write letters give them to their parents, who then keep the letters for themselves and pretend the presents they buy are from Santa.

And of those kids who send real mail, how much of it do you think is properly marked and delivered? A lot of kids get the address wrong or send it through the wrong postal services, and it’s not Santa’s responsibility to track down every lost letter.

Plus there’s rules. Santa delivers only one present per kid, and to kids only. Also only realistic presents, no “getting your parents back together” or “a jet ski”. Santa’s elves are toy makers, not genies.

And it’s only the kids who are on the nice list, obviously. The kids who asked for stuff but were on the naughty list used to get coal, but that policy has been revoked due to the skyrocketing value of coal.

Any other dumb questions are answered by magic. Why isn’t his sack big and heavy? Portal magic. Why isn’t he spotted by tons of people? Cloaking magic. Why aren’t parents confused by that one present they don’t remember buying. Hypnotic magic.

And finally, no, the Santa Clause isn’t lore accurate. Santa Claus is the supernaturally immortalized form of Saint Nicholas, a former human born 270 AD. The rumors are based on one guy who tried to kidnap him and take his place, but he was promptly dealt with.

Hope this helped, follow for more polytheistic research and world-building!

[average-emo-enigma]

Anyone else have the most massive crush on him?

[damngirlgirl]

holly jolly Christmas✨

[askii-your-girly]

Mr. Car thief, Or is it Mr. Steal Your Heart

"He didn't steal that car, he stole my heart."

Teddy Pierce X Police officers' daughter

Song recommended with this oneshot: Criminal by Britney Spears

Word Count: 750

Warnings: Cussing and/or violent language, Teddy is a bit of a bully and a bit violent, Kissing, making out, reader lying to her father, kabedon.

Reminder: I don't own any of the characters other than you the reader and her parents. Please don't repost without credit, and i'm always open for constructive criticism.Please also remember all of this is fake and Teddy never does have a run in with the cops other than with Santa and Kate, it's just for the story.

Don't forget to enjoy and if you have any requests or want to be tagged in my next oneshot please let me know! I know its very short and rushed but I have to study for finals but I wanted to post again before my Christmas break.

Well shit, how come he didn't even notice her until that video his sister took. A girl that he knew of in his grade was staring right at him when he and his "friends" stole that car. Fuck. What was he supposed to tell her, did he really have to explain what he did to her? Double fuck, her dads a fucking cop. His mind raced of things to get her to shut her mouth about it.

You on the other hand had yet to say a word about it to anyone. How could you tell on him? As pathetic as it sounded you thought he was kind of cute. Well walking back home down an alleyway that you always take you didn't expect to see him there waiting for you.

Teddy found out from asking around what your name was, what route you take to school, and everything in between. Finding your route was just a bit off of his he decided to give you a bit of a visit. Just a bit of a scare, he assumed to get you to keep your mouth shut. Finally you came around the corner of the alleyway.

Walking through the alleyway not knowing he was even there until he pushed your back against the brick wall of that same alleyway. His hand moving to the side of your face, trapping you. Obviously confused and a bit panicked you looked up at him, he was only a few inches taller than you.

"Don't think I didn't see you there, what am I going to have to do to keep your mouth shut about that little thing." Honestly you were a little confused at first before you realized what he was talking about. The stolen car. "Don't make me repeat myself, what do you want to keep your mouth shut." If you were being honest with yourself you wanted him to kiss you, take your first kiss. Taking all the courage you had you spoke in a quiet voice, "A kiss."

He must have thought you were joking since he laughed then realized you were being serious. "You just want me to kiss you? And you wont tell anyone what happened? That seems a bit too easy." Did you really want to tell him that would be your first kiss, no but if it makes it more believable and he would do it. You got to try. Stuttering out some words you were able to whisper, "Well some kids are making jokes about me never having my first kiss so. I thought you know, you don't get into trouble and kids will leave me alone."

He smiled, this was too easy he thought. How could he say no to a cute girl asking him to kiss her. His hand wraps around your waist, pulling you closer to him. "I mean, I can't say no to that." Leaning down to kiss you, it was a lot rougher than you thought it would be. Thinking it would be a quick kiss, him on the other hand was not thinking that. Pushing you up more against the wall, after a few seconds he pulled back, your mouth was a little open getting oxygen. Exactly what he was hoping for.

He kissed you again, his tongue exploring your mouth. A little moan escaping your lips leads him to continue his assault on your lips. His knee moving up in between your legs, leaving your lips for some oxygen you let out a little whine trying to pull him in for another kiss. Laughing he pulled back saying something you could barely hear as he was walking away while speaking, "Maybe next time you catch us, we can continue."

He left you standing in that alleyway with that cute look of desperation and submission. He didn't want to overdo it. I mean it was your first kiss. Making your way home your father questions why you're late and about that stolen car. "I think it was the Pierce kid. I mean he was in the area, there had to be witnesses. You were there right it was him right?" Shyly you speak very quietly and almost as if you're not talking to him.

"Dad, he didn't steal that car, he stole my heart." You walk up to your room, getting a good night's sleep you would need it. How else would you find them stealing another car?

Honestly, I think this is my favorite ending I have made yet. Thank you, guys, for the support!

[madame-helen]

[hurtmuscle]

hiiiiiiii this is my uhh kurt russell sideblog? i guess? mostly it's a place to promote my fic and collect gifs and stuff. anyway go follow hurtmuscle on ao3 i literally only write fanfiction for kurt russell characters so take your pick. gonna tag this like crazy sorry in advance

[dedalvs]

Hello!! I have fallen in love with Yulish and made my own elf character, Rökh. I want to learn the language and make comics in Yulish but I have no idea where I can find more than just the pronunciation form.

Little by little I will be adding everything to my wiki, and that includes grammar. It takes time to add, though, and I've got a lot of different projects. I promise you, though, I haven't forgotten about Yulish. It's one of my favorites, because it's kind of silly, and it's got such a nice rhythm to it. It's one of my favorites to expand when I have free time.

[couldtheyescortelliewilliams]

[hottestsantatournament]

ROUND TWO

MATCHUP:

Black Santa (Turell Robins) VS. Christmas Chronicles (Kurt Russell)

[lirarey]

It's touching when girls get the opportunity to see their fathers who died early.

[queeniesretrozone]

Christmas Chronicles is on the tv and when Kate said “Pilates?” I said “Really? I mean yoga’s one thing but..” and when my mom asked what it was from I said it was a Tally Hall thing (I did say it wrong first tho lol)

[that-one-art-kid]

Is it too early to be watching Christmas movies????????

[gloriatbh]

i fucking love christmas chronicles because imagine going to school after christmas break and saying you met santa claus himself but nobody believes you cuz his stupid ass took the tape