#Christine the car

[ashyslashyy]

a story in three parts

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[the-shipping-forecasters]

The Monster/Human Romance Special: Part 2

This week, we wrap up our foray into non-human romance. We've been calling it monster/human, but honestly only one of our fics can really be called a monster fic this time round... But to make up for that we've got not three but FOUR whole fics to cover today, mostly because James is indecisive and couldn't pick between two excellent fics (in two wildly different tones)

In tonights episode of The Shipping Forecast:

Nick combines his love of 80s horror and his hatred of Tesla in Lady about Town.

James Ruins everyones childhoods in C Is For Monster Fucker

Grace returns to tradition, and by tradition we mean seducing the fish himbo, in Zora Courting

And then James again, back to wholesome dragon ladies, with Tohru And The Disappearing Shirt (She Still Can’t Be Trusted With Laundry)

Fics and Timestamps

Lady About Town by d__T (9:30)

C Is For Monster Fucker by ImYouButStronger (23:45)

Zora Courting by Jadeile (38:00)

Tohru And The Disappearing Shirt (She Still Can’t Be Trusted With Laundry) by belmione (1:09:45)

Full episode here (and any reputable podcast provider)

Or here

And join us again in two weeks, new topic new fics!

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[tvmilfs]

[number1spongebobfan]

Lady and the Seven Sea Creatures (Epilogue)

SpongeBob was stricken the most with grief once he found Lady lay lifeless on the floor.

“If only we’der told her not tee let anyone in!” cried Mr. Krabs.

“Lookee’ here fellas!” exclaimed Sandy. “It’s the evil queen running away from us! Thinking she’s some kind of fugitive!”

Percy and the sea creatures ganged up on the wicked hag. Then SpongeBob had an idea; since he was so bad at driving, he could try steering Christine out of oblivion!

SpongeBob jumped onto Christine’s shoulders. He yanked on her pointed witch hat. Christine spun around. She tumbled down a cliff and crashed, with SpongeBob luckily hopping off her in time.

Patrick: Ding dong the witch is dead!

Gary: Meow.

The sea critters put Lady’s body in a glass casket, for she was too beautiful to be buried. They stared at her for months on end. They were very, very sad.

Prince Splatter and Prince Dodge searched for the princess far and wide. The kingdom was in chaos ever since the queen’s death.

When Splatter and Dodge found Lady, they argued over who would be the one to break the spell. But Splatter was the ruder and dumber out of the two. So it would soon be settled that Dodge was Lady’s true love.

Dodge kissed Lady on the lips.

She woke up.

Everybody was so happy. Dodge carried Lady in his arms. Lady said goodbye to all her friends. She promised she’ll see them again someday.

“And they all lived happily ever after,” said Mr. Conductor, who was finishing the story that he told Lily’s family. “The End!”

[certainwoman]

Christine (1983), dir. John Carpenter

[theblackestofsuns]

"Christine The Car"

Perla La Loca (2007)

Jaime Hernandez

Fantagraphics Books

[talesfromthecrypts]

Christine (1983) dir. John Carpenter

[caleod]

23-10-24 "Rust"

[your-unfriendlyghost]

“Christine”

So I recently read the Stephen King book “Christine”- y’know, the one about the evil haunted car- and because Outsiders still has me in a chokehold I had to redraw the movie poster but with them lol. (Think of it as early Halloween art idk)

I mean c’mon it makes sense- Steve is a car-loving kinda-reserved guy with a more-popular-and-attractive best friend like Arnie Cunningham. Soda’s a well-liked popular guy who still loves his best friend more than anyone like Dennis Guilder. Evie, or my version of Evie at least, is a tough but sensitive girl who’d want to save her boyfriend from a possessed car like Leigh Cabot…

Original poster + alt version w/ all the textures I like to add usually:

[bigboppa01]

[the-mighty-python]

Christine and her namesake!

[starry-bi-sky]

What would a mother not do for her child What lengths would a mother not go There's a bond that exists between mother and child With no end to how strong it can grow It's a promise for life between mother and child It begins from the moment of birth.

================

She is six years old, and standing on the porch at her Auntie Alicia’s cabin. She is six years old, and holding an old rifle in her hands, standing at the railing and pointing the nozzle at a large target a couple feet away. There’s a pair of old ear muffs covering her ears. Behind her is her daddy and her sister, and Auntie Alicia. She can’t see them. 

Danielle Martha Fenton is six years old, and her momma has her arms wrapped warmly around her, keeping the gun steady for her. It’s heavy and the butt digs into her shoulder uncomfortably, and she feels nothing but determined. And nervous. 

Her momma was teaching her and Jazzy how to shoot, and they’re down in Arkansas to visit Auntie Alicia for her second “Divorce-iversary” as Auntie calls it. She keeps a hunting rifle in her gun safe for the rabbits that like to nibble on her garden. She mostly grows rhubarb, which goes untouched. But her carrots and greens and other veggies like to be tempting snacks for the game. 

Regardless, she is six years old and learning how to shoot. Her momma and her daddy (mostly her daddy) have been banned from every shooting range outside of Amity Park in a hundred mile radius. So Auntie is the best place to learn, or so momma says. 

Danny thinks it's just an excuse to see her sister, not that she's complaining. She loves visiting Auntie.  

She’s already seen Jazzy do this, her momma told her before the muffs went on to shoot when ready. No use trying to fire when you’re not; you can’t afford to miss when shooting ghosts. 

Danny breathes out steady, just like momma taught her, and quells her trembling little fingers. She focuses down the barrel, and pulls the trigger. 

Immediately, the recoil throws her off, the side of the gun that her cheek was resting on knocks against her skin, harsh enough to bruise if it weren’t for her momma’s steady hands holding onto her. The bang of the gun startles her more than she thought it would, and her heart leaps up and runs a jackrabbit through her chest. 

The gun is carefully slipped out of her hands, and Danny lets it go easily, her cheek smarting in pain and her eyes wide and following up to momma. Momma turns the safety on, and with a gentle hand, pushes against her chest. Danny takes a few steps back, and slips the ear muffs off her head. 

Mommy is smiling big at her, something that Danny can’t help but replicate on her own face as her heart swells. “Did I get it, momma?” She asks, watching as she passes the gun off to Auntie Alicia, who steps over to take it.

“I’m going to go see, sweetie, but I think you did.” Momma coos, before planting both her hands on the porch railing and, in a single leap, vaults over the side and onto the grass. She’s dressed all comfortable for the summer heat, with her hair all tied back and in shorts and a tank top and nice boots. Danny’s ribs swell hopefully, and she stands on her tiptoes to watch her walk over.

“I’ll be hard-pressed to believe if you didn’t, Martha Mae,” Auntie tells her, grinning like a cat, “that was a damn good shot.” 

‘Martha Mae Knight’ was Danny’s granny’s name. Auntie Alicia calls her that because of her middle name — and because, by her words, she has her momma’s weird-shaped eyebrows and piercing blue eyes. The kind that could scare a hawk into singing like a robin. It was Danny’s favorite nickname ever.

Daddy laughs brightly, the sound painful on her ears but twice as nice, and despite the distance, Momma whirls her head around to shoot Auntie a glare; “Language, Alicia. Not around my girls.” She warns. Her accent always comes through when they’re around Auntie. It’s Danny’s favorite thing to listen to. 

“Do you think so, auntie?” Danny says, bright-eyed and ever-optimistic. Auntie Alicia nods fiercely as Momma finally reaches the target and searches for the bullet hole. Daddy then comes up behind her, still laughing, and claps a hand onto her shoulder so hard that it makes her knees hurt.

“Of course she did!” Dad boasts, as bright as the sun and twice as warm. He shakes Danny affectionately, wobbling her on her feet and pulling her straight into his side. She goes so willingly with a burble of giggles. “She’s got the eyes of a Fenton! And our family are darn good shots.”

Auntie eyes him up and down, her smile immediately fading off into a pressed line. “I’m sure you mean she’s got the eyes of a Knight. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn at twenty paces, Jack Fenton.” 

Jazzy holds back giggles from where she’s standing by the door, her ear muffs in hand, and Danny watches her Daddy’s dark eyes immediately narrow. Just like Auntie’s, his smile tapers off into a frown. 

Before he can say anything, there’s a cheer from the yard, and they all turn to Momma clapping her hands in delight. 

Danny immediately pricks her ears up, and would’ve darn near rushed over to the railing if it weren’t for her Daddy’s hand on her shoulder. She yells instead, excitement thrumming like a hummingbird against her ribs, “Did I hit it, momma?!” 

Momma beams at her with all the pride in the world, “You sure did, Danny!” And she turns to press her finger against the target, right on the inside red ring of the battered old bag. “Right here, sweet girl!” 

There are cheers from all around, and Danny’s heart bursts inside her lungs with shiny, sunshine glee. She puffs her chest out big, and smiles so wide it hurts the cheek where the gun smacked her. Her Daddy shakes again, squeezing her tight against his side in a hug that Danny happily reciprocates. 

“What’d I tell you, Martha Mae?” Auntie tells with a big wink and a wide grin, the gun still gripped tight in her hands as Momma makes her way back over. “You got a Knight’s eye.” 

When Momma makes it back over the railing, she hugs Danny tight and praises her shot. Danny looks her in the eyes and chases the feeling, and asks to shoot again.

[postfuturistikarcturus]

What if they were friends and caused mayhem on the road together?

[hearmeoutworthypoll]

christine from christine (1983). beautiful car & theres also a possession thing happening and she kills people but its FINE

A 1958 Plymouth Fury. Possibly evil from its creation or possessed by the original owners who died in it, maybe also absorbs souls of its victims.

Possessive of its owner and makes the them obsessed in return like a toxic relationship. Kills anyone who threatens Christine or the owner. Regenerative powers

Reminder, the premise is “would a normie think it’s weird to find them attractive?” (Would they have to “hear me out?”)

[number1spongebobfan]

Lady and the Seven Sea Creatures (Part 10)

A/N: I based the second panel off this scene from Sleeping Beauty (fanpop.com)

SpongeBob and his friends had to mine today, so they left Lady in charge. Lady happily cooked a full meal for her "kids", with Percy to keep her company.

Christine, now an old car hag, poked by the window. Lady was frightened at the sight of her.

"Would you like an apple?" she asked, holding a basket of apples.

"No thank you," politely declined Lady. She couldn't trust a stranger.

Percy furiously nipped at the hag's cloak, but she kicked him away.

The witch bit one of the apples: shamelessly lying to the princess that it was safe. Then she handed the poisoned apple to Lady.

Lady took a bite of the apple.

"I feel funny . . ." thought Lady. She started coughing and choking. Black soot dripped off her mouth. At last, she fainted.

"She's scrap!" hissed Christine. "Now I'm the fairest in the land!" Percy had to get SpongeBob's help!