#Christ foot soldier
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ragingbookdragon · 1 year ago
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It comes as somewhat a surprise when the others realize that something has obviously happened between their resident Lieutenant and Private, as she’s quick to fall silent whenever he appears, and even more so make herself scare when she can when he’s around. It’s only the third time that Soap sees it that he says something, because if he doesn’t no one else will, and where’s the fun in that?
He watches her duck her head and leave the break room, Gaz, Soap, Price, and Ghost sitting alone at the breakfast table conversing over soggy cereal and cooling tea; Soap pushes a piece of bacon on his plate and asks, “Trouble in paradise, Lt?” the corner of his mouth arches with a slight grin when he hears the warning grunt come from Ghost.
“No.”
“Seems like it,” he retorts, taking a sip of his coffee. “What’d ya do? Tell her ta fuck off?”
“Drop it, MacTavish,” Ghost warns darkly. “Nothing’s wrong.”
This time, Gaz jumps in. “C’mon, Lt., it’s obvious that something’s wrong. I mean, she won’t even look at you, let alone say anything unless you speak first.”
“An’ she’s callin’ ‘im ‘sir.’” Soap adds, pointing at him. “Christ, Lt., ya musta done a number on ‘er. Poor Puffin. So sweet and kind. Broke ‘er heart ya did.”
Price can tell that Ghost is close to snapping at the both of them but gets to it before he does. “Soap, Gaz, go catalogue our inventory for the mission next week.”
“Aw, but we already d—” Soap falls silent when Price shoots him a look and quietly grumbles to himself as he grabs his plate and cup, Gaz following in suit.
It’s only until the two soldiers are alone that Price asks, “What did happen, Simon?”
Ghost lets out a long sigh and rolls his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Pretty much told ‘er to fuck off.”
Price watches quietly as Ghost begins rattling to himself—he’s never really had to ask the man to explain himself. All he’s gotta do is prompt him to do so and Ghost does the rest.
“I just got mad. She’s always ‘round and practically up my arse, and I got caught up and instead of ‘andlin’ it properly, I shoved my fucking foot in my mouth and scalped her.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I meant to be gentler but once I started, I couldn’t stop. It just kept comin’ out. And now she fuckin’ hates me.”
He pulls his hand down and looks up at Price with a scowl—the man is smiling at him, but it’s that stupid smile that means more than Ghost wants to admit it does.
“Quit that.”
“You care about her,” Price murmurs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, though his admonish is still harsh. “And instead of telling her how you felt like a grown adult, you took the ten-year-old way out and decided to be a cunt to her.”
“I didn’t mean to be such a cunt.”
“But the fact of the matter is that you did, and you’ve screwed up team fluidity and cohesion.” He looks at him. “You know a team divided—”
“Can’t stand,” Ghost finishes with an even worse scowl. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He looks away. “I just don’t know how to even start tryin’ to fix it.”
“Well, apologizing might be a good start,” Price rumbles with a grin. “She’s a good kid, Simon. Her heart’s in the right place, even if it’s a bit much at times. Shows she cares. More than most do in our line of work. She’s a rare one.”
“I know,” he admits in a much, much softer tone. “I just don’t want her to lose that doin’ this.” His eyes meet Price’s, and they hold such a misery. “Look at us, Price,” he mutters, gesturing between them. “Middle age, unmarried, no kids, too fucked up for anything like that. She doesn’t…” he clenches his jaw. “She deserves a better path, a safer path, than this life. She deserves to go out and have a life where she comes home to a family.”
“That’s not your choice to make, son,” he replies gently, but there’s a firmness to it. “If this is what she wants to do, then she will. We can’t make her get out of service.”
Ghost growls low in his throat. “She has so much more potential than being cannon fodder. She could do somethin’ with her life. Somethin’ good. Somethin’ that won’t have her dying face down in the sand with a bullet wound in the back.”
Price simply watches him.
“But she’s so fuckin’ stupid. She wants to be here. She wants to spend whatever time she has dodgin’ bullets and wakin’ up every night in sweat ‘cause she can’t escape the dreams. No one wants to do this. We don’t want to do this. We do this because we have to. But her? She’s happy here.” He lowers his voice, it’s as if he’s in disbelief. “She’s happy here.” He looks at Price. “Why? Why is she so happy here?”
It's another long moment before Price speaks.
“You hear, son, but you don’t listen.” He moves the cup on the saucer. “She bounced around homes growing up, scraped by on the skin of her teeth. She has no one. But here, she has something. She has people who care for her, if nothing else, they won’t let her die alone.”
“Oh what? So, it’s found family bullshit?” Ghost spits. “If she dies, at least the team would mourn her?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve done too?” he replies, and Ghost falls silent. “People like Gaz, Soap, and myself are different than you and she are, Simon. We have homes. We’ve had families that have loved us, that do love us. But you two? Simon, you’ve made a home where you’ve had to. Made a family out of people you’ve bled for, would gladly bleed for. You’ve made something that’s yours. You made a family for yourself. And so did she. She’s made us her family. The one she never had the privilege to call her own.”
Price lets out a quiet hum, and pats his thighs, standing up and pushing his chair in.
“Think on what I’ve said, son. And if nothing else, apologize and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court and let her make the next move.”
As he walks off, he hears, “And if she doesn’t want it?”
He tosses a knowing look over his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll take it.” His eyes twinkle as he adds, “Takes an awful strong woman to care about a man like you.”
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briarscreek · 2 months ago
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141 rescuing a hostage who was in the middle of rescuing herself
it’s your basic situation of traveling a new country for a bit but getting tricked into human trafficking. hey, the tour guide deal online was too good to pass up and you had a coupon. it’s not your fault.
unfortunately for your captors you over prepared for your trip because you had a hunch this might happen while solo traveling.
anyways, the handlers didn’t even do much except hint that you might be worth good money and tie you to a chair. whatever, you’re not gonna sit here on your ass waiting for someone else to help you. with a quick tug on your boot, you pulled the tiny hidden knife free and quickly cut the ropes on your hands. before leaving you checked the dirty room around you for anything that might help you but it was unfortunately empty besides the chair. oh well, next is getting the fuck out of there.
with hurried steps, you sneaked towards the door to find the door knob trying to move on it’s own. it was locked from your side but why would these oafs try to open the door without the key that they have? maybe if you swing the door open you can surprise them with…something. steeling your resolve you quickly unlock the door and swing it open. what you did not expect was a large foot to hit your torso and knock the wind out of you, making you land on your back.
“WHAT THE FUCK?” you rush out now groaning on the floor trying to catch your breath.
“Christ, bonnie ‘re you ‘lright?”
“Nice goin’ McTavish”
“Was your idea to kick it down, Ghost”
“Yea but you didn’t stop when it opened did ya?���
“Shut it, both of ya”
The fourth soldier who hadn’t spoken yet came down to kneel beside you.
“Are you alright?” He offered his hand to help sit you up.
“As alright as someone who got the wind kicked out of them, but yea I’m just peachy” you sat up with a groan.
“American? What are you doin all the way out here?” The one with mutton chops asked.
“Thought I’d frolic around in an abandoned building. What do you think I’m doing here?”
God, these men are just unbelievable.
What a way to meet your future husband, huh?
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moody-alcoholic · 7 months ago
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The Missing Piece
Chapter 1 -Coffee
Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. 4.4k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.
CW: Mentions of sex, description of injuries.
masterlist - next AO3
Enjoy <3
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“Sergeant MacTavish?” You call into the hallway of soldiers lining the wall, you look up and down to see if anyone reacts to the name. 
“Sergeant John MacTavish?” You call again this time a little louder.
“Here lass!” A man calls hobbling down the hall towards you. Your breath catches in your throat, even being on a base surrounded by plenty of hunky men you had not seen anyone quite like him. His broad shoulders, thick arms and tanned skin. His fluffy mohawk, shining almost bronze in the florescent lights. To top it all off his cheeky grin is sending butterfly's racing in your stomach.
He’s being followed by what seems like an even bigger man trying to help him wobble his way down the hall, his sharp eyes focused on making sure his friend doesn’t topple over. The rest of his face is covered by a balaclava with a skull printed on it. It makes you shiver as they walked towards you. You move to the side of the door letting them in. John finds his way to a chair while the other man stands behind him. You close the door to the room going back over to the desk sitting down and opening his file on the computer. 
“Twisted your ankle during an exercise?” You look past the monitor at him. 
“Aye, I’m fine but LT here insisted I get it checked out.” He replies with a smile on his face thumbing behind at the man looming over him. Christ even his accent is sexy, sottish.
“And I’m staying to make sure you do get it checked out properly instead of flirting your way to a bottle of paracetamol and a cold compress.” The man said, his voice was deep, commanding. You could feel heat rush to your cheeks at the mention of flirting, but you push the thought away trying to remain professional. 
“It is good to get it checked even if it is just a sprain.” You move your chair round so you’re sitting in front of him. 
“Do you mind if I take your boot off?”
“I got it lass,” he winked bending down to untie the laces, and pulling the boot off. You could tell by the scrunching of his face and the grunt he made that this was causing him pain. He put his foot back down on the floor his ankle did look swollen. 
“Have you tried ice or a cold compress?” You ask. 
“Aye,” he replies you hear the man behind him sigh.
“What he means by that is he tried for about 5 minuets before he was back on his feet again.” John huffed at being called out, you smile at him and he winks. 
“You’ll need to try for longer then that,” you say acknowledging the tall man behind John who now has his arms crossed. You pick the foot up watching John try to hide the pain, you only lift it up a little before decided it was going to need an x-ray. 
“I will book an x-ray for you in the mean time if you go into the ward they will give you an ice pack and a bed.” You explain moving your chair back to the desk so you could book the appointment. “Do you want any pain relief?” 
“Na, I can barely feel it.” He says a cheeky smile on his face. You nod typing the report and waiting for the paper to print out. 
“I can give you some crutches you really should keep your weight off it.” You stand up going to the printer.
“It’s okay love I’ve got my own crutch here.” He says hopping up on his foot and wrapping his arm round the other man with him. You smile handing the paper to him.
“Give this to the nurse on the ward.” You say rushing in front of them to open the door. 
“Thanks love,” he says beaming at you as he gets lead out by his friend who looks back at you and nods. You close the door to the room taking a breath out. What the hell was that? You find a smile forming on your lips as your heart flutters in your chest. 
————————
Two days later you find yourself as the night nurse. Not that you mind it’s normally the quieter part of the job and there is no one in the ward so you don’t even have to worry about trying to look busy. About an hour into your shift someone comes through the doors. You recognise him immediately as John, from a few days ago with the sprained ankle. He’s hobbling around on crutches now, his friend is not with him either. 
“Hello sweetheart!” He says his voice full of energy, that ever present smile on his face.
“Hey, John did you need something?” you ask coming round from behind the nurses station. 
“Yeah actually, I was told to come pick up something…” He trails off. “Now what was it?” 
“Painkillers?” You ask. 
“No it begin with a T I think.” He looks up to the corner of the room rubbing his chin.
“A tubigrip?” You ask raising an eyebrow.
“That’s the one lass!” He says snapping his fingers, you can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm. 
“Sit up on the bed I’ll get you one.” You say turning to the cupboard of supplies. You pick out two sizes then walk back over to John already leaning down to untie his boots. 
“I can do that.” You insist waving his hands away, he sighs but gives in leaning back on the bed. You carefully remove the boot looking back and checking to see how he reacts. He’s ether getting better at hiding it or painkillers have helped. He only winces when you have to pull the boot over his heel.
“What did the doctor say?” You ask. 
“Sprained, I’ve been stuck behind a desk for the last two days.” He makes a pouting face as you pull his sock off. 
“You should sleep with it elevated that will help with the swelling.” You say pulling his trouser leg up. The swelling has definitely improved since you saw it last. 
“I bet with a few more days of rest you’ll be back on your feet like nothing happened.” You smile at him.
“I hope so lass, my unit’s being shipped out at the end of the week.” He says as you pull the tubigrip over his foot and ankle.
“Oh yeah anywhere fun?” You ask. 
“Ah ‘fraid I can’t tell you that love.” He winks, you can tell if he’s joking or not but you pull his trouser leg back down.
“You can keep your boot on but not too tight, and keep it elevated.” You explain putting his boot back on and loosely tying the laces. 
“What painkillers are you taking?” You ask as he swivels his body round so his feet are hanging off the bed. 
“Paracetamol, oh and the doc said I could take ibuprofen too, but I don’t need it I can barely feel a thing.” You look back at him chuckling, his arms flex as he pushes himself up with the crutches. You feel your cheeks heat up again.
“You should take the ibuprofen at least it will also help with the swelling.” You force out leaning over him to pick up his sock from the bed. He smells good, must be his aftershave. You hold the sock out for him and he sheepishly takes it out your hand shoving it in his pocket. You move back so he can hop out the ward back to the nurses station. 
“Well it was nice seeing you again…” He trails off like he’s trying to remember your name his eyes squinting. You cover your badge teasing him. He chuckles. 
“LT is the one with the better memory.” He says turning his body to the doors. 
“Ashe.” You reply uncovering your badge.
“Well then Ashe it was nice to see you again.” His smile is infectious and you could have sworn he winked at you. 
“Good luck on your deployment,” You call back as he pushes his way through the doors. 
“I don’t need luck.” He winks at you. Okay that time it was definitely a wink and it made the butterflies come back to your belly. You sit down at the nurses station with a smile on your face and heat in your cheeks.
————————
One week later you get a text out of the blue.
Hey, this Ashe? 
It’s an unknown number you’re tempted to ignore it, but something inside you forces you to answer it. 
Yeah, who’s this?
It’s only seconds later a response comes.
It’s Johnny, with the fucked up ankle. 
Holy shit, you almost choke on your drink, coughing as the liquid has now gone in your windpipe. You take a few more sips trying to sooth it. How the hell did he get your number? 
How did you get my number?
From a friend of a friend..
You can’t help but chuckle, is this real? Did he make his deployment? You realise you haven’t seen him round the base in a few days, and you would know you’ve been looking. Sometimes without even realising it any time you see a broad tanned soldier hairs stand up on the back of your neck and you crane to look only to be disappointed. His friend with the skull mask you found out his name was lieutenant Riley. You know you definitely hadn’t seen him. 
Anyway... Want to get coffee? 
Such a simple request has your heart thumping in your chest. 
When? 
You reply without thinking, your leg starts to jump under the table nervousness washing over you. Coffee? With you? Why?
How about that coffee place just outside the base, tomorrow 1300?
Your heart is pounding now your throat dry. Is this a date? No that would be very much against base rules. 
Sure :)
Was the smiley too much, you put your phone down embarrassed. You hear it buzz picking up the courage to look 
See ya there :)
You let out a breath your leg stops jumping. Coffee with Johnny, surely it’s just a friendly thing to say thank you for helping with his ankle. Not that he has too, it’s your job. Maybe he’s just being nice, he is always smiling. Or maybe he didn’t make his deployment and he’s bored. 
————————
You show up early, the butterfly's have not left your stomach since the moment you woke up. You managed to switch your shift with another nurse so you could be here instead. Coffee sounded like too much especially with your nerves you opted for a tea. You find yourself checking your watch almost every second, your back is to the door each time it opens your heart stops and you turn to look. Jesus calm down woman, it’s just coffee. You try to tell yourself. A few minutes later and a few sips of hot tea, you start to calm. 
“Hey there lass.” You hear the familiar Scottish accent behind you. You turn in your chair to see him. You stand up to greet him, he pulls you into a hug, patting your back. He lets you go walking round the table and taking his jacket off. 
His skin looks darker or maybe it’s just the light in the room, his hair looks like it’s been freshly groomed. You get a proper look at his eyes, a beautiful deep blue. You can’t help finding yourself smiling.
“Hey,” You reply.
“What’s your poison?” He asks pointing at your cup, you push a strand of hair behind your ear. It feels like the nervousness radiating off you.  
“Eh tea.” You reply realising you’ve almost finished it. 
“Typical brits,” he sighs playfully.
“Let me get it, you should rest your ankle.” You say quickly stopping him in his tracks. 
“Don’t worry love it’s been solid for a few days now.” You sigh that’s good at least. He walks over to the counter and you take out a deep breath, sitting back down. Your head following him as he orders beaming at the staff his accent cutting through the mumbling of the other patrons. You look back at your tea finishing it off as Johnny comes back with the drinks. He smiles as he sits down putting the tea in front of you. 
“Thank you,” You say warming your hands on the new mug. 
“Ne problem don’t you worry about it, I’m supposed to be treating you,” You feel yourself blushing again as that cheeky look comes back on his face.  
“Why?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. He chuckles.
“You helped me with my ankle, I wanted to say thank you.” He says as a matter of fact. 
“It’s my job,” you reply shrugging, feeling a rush of embarrassment washing over you. No one has ever thanked you like this before. The most the ward gets is a card sometimes. Or if you were lucky someone would tell your CO you did a good job. That was always important for people looking for promotions. 
“You could have just caught me on the base.”
“Yeah,” Now his cheeks looked like they were changing to a gorgeous shade of pink. 
“Did you manage to get deployed?” You ask trying to move the subject on. He smiles leaning back in his chair.
“Na, whole thing got cancelled, I spent a few days in London.” He says smiling.
“Was Riley-I mean-lieutenant Riley was he with you?” You blurt out sipping your tea so the word vomit would stop. 
“Simon?” Johnny asked his smile getting bigger. “Oh yeah we spend a lot of time together.”
“Huh, that’s nice you must be a tight unit.” You say calming myself. So his name was Simon, Simon Riley.
“What about you what have you been up to?” He leans forward sipping his coffee.
“Work, nothing really.” You smile.
“When’s your next leave?” He asks. 
“Two weeks.” He nods like hes thinking about something his lips pressed together. He leans forward on the table more.
“There was another reason I wanted to see you.” He says, his smile disappearing. You hold your breath in anticipation of what he’s going to say next. He takes a breath in for a second looking you in the eyes.
“I really wanted to see you again.” He says, okay that’s not bad. You almost want to laugh at how worked up you got yourself. He just wants to say thank you, he’s buying you coffee because he want’s to be nice. You helped him with his ankle. Now he’s asking if you’re single.
Wait what?    
“Single?” You ask, your brain trying to comprehend what you missed. He nods his smile coming back, at least that puts you at ease. 
“Yeah, I’m single. Are you single?” It seems like the appropriate time to ask him too. His lips are pressed together again like he’s trying to formulate a sentence in his head. 
“It’s complected,” A cheeky smile forms on his lips as he sips his coffee. 
“What do you mean it’s complicated? Do you have a girlfriend?” You ask frowning at him.
“No.” He replies flatly.
“A boyfriend?” He puts his coffee down. 
“I wanted to see you cos I’ve spent the last week tryin’ te get ya out my head and it’s impossible.” He says leaning forward. You blush at his words. 
“What do you mean it’s complicated though?” Your heart beating faster in your chest you can’t tell if it’s the caffeine from the tea or the words from Johnny’s mouth but it was getting harder to concentrate. 
“I’m married to my work.” He says leaning back. You sigh, this has happened before. ‘I can’t be with you the job is too important’ It’s all too familiar, finding love when every one around you is throwing their lives on the front line is near impossible. You’d pretty much given up finding love at work, it’s not even the anti-fraternisation rules. People are just never looking for anything long term. Looking for men outside of work is no better. As soon as they find out you’re an army nurse, or army in general it’s usually met with a slew of sexist comments before you realise looking for love at whatever bar you’ve been dragged to was a bad idea. 
“I get it,” You say trying to hide your disappointment. 
“C’mon lass it don’t mean we can’t still be mates.” He says it sounds almost like a plea. You feel sad and drained, you didn’t know what to expect from the meeting but you weren't expecting to feel like you just got dumped by someone you didn’t even date. You look at johnny his blue eyes look sad, he grips the handle of his coffee mug. Maybe you’re being too emotional, you look down in your tea.  
“It’s okay, you seem like a nice guy but I know how this goes. We’ll talk maybe have sex a few times but sooner or later you’ll move on, or be deployed or I’ll move on or be stationed somewhere else…” You look at Johnny finishing the rest of your tea. And moving to stand up. He reaches out to you trying to get you to stay. 
“C’mon let me at least walk you back to the base.” You can’t help but see the pleading in his eyes his usual smile warms your heart. You go up and place a kiss on his cheek. 
“It’s okay John, I need to go into town anyway.” You smile your hand patting his chest, you can feel the tight muscles under your hand only making it harder to turn away. But you pull your hand off his chest and head for the door.
————————
You spend the next two weeks having to almost actively avoid Johnny. Since whatever mission he was supposed to be on was cancelled he’d been helping round the base with all kinds of different things. You would bump in to him all the time, your eyes always betraying you and wandering to him whenever he was in your view. 
He would always wink at you or smile at you. Good luck if he could physically trap you. He would talk your ears off about anything. The gym is where you would see him the most, usually with Simon or another man you didn’t recognise. He spent a lot of time with Simon, the ‘big scary skull guy’ some of the other nurses would call him. He seemed nice, he’s quiet, the most you hear from him are sighs or grunts. 
“I heard his face was burnt off in a horrible accident.” One of them said one day as you were eating lunch in the mess. Your eyes had barely left Johnny’s face he was sat a few tables ahead of you. He seemed to like the fact you were always watching him. His eyes meeting yours and smiling, sometimes winking making you blush. Sometimes you would look up and it would Simon's eyes staring you down. His gaze would always send shivers up your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck would stand up. 
The nurses round the table are giggling as they spread rumours about him. Nurses sure love to gossip, you try not to participate, there’s not much to do on the base though. Besides everyone ends up knowing everyone's business at some point. 
“I heard he went psycho and took out a whole enemy base in Iraq. He covers his face so no one can ID him.” Another one said. Whatever it was about he definitely seemed to be the talk of the base.
“That’s bullshit, he’d be discharged.” 
“Nope, he’s special forces SAS.” The nurse sitting closest to you whispered as she leaned into the table. It was enough to piss you off.
“We’re not in secondary school anymore! Don’t you have anything better to do?” You snap leaving the table. You knew you could feel Johnny’s eyes digging into you. 
When you’re leaving the base Johnny tries to catch up to you. You don’t want to talk to him, you don’t know what to say to him. You’re leaving the last thing you need is a citation while you’re literally walking out the base. 
“C’mon lass give me 2 minutes.” He calls. Maybe it’s your weakness to help people, maybe it’s because truly deep down you wish you could give him a chance. Something about the break in his voice makes you stop in your tracks. 
“What? I don’t want to miss my bus.” You say turning to face him. 
“I just wanted to say thank you.” He’s smiling, of course he is, he tentatively takes a step forward with his arms outstretched.
“For what?” You ask frowning and shaking your head.  
“In the mess earlier.” His hand rubs the back of his neck as he blushes. “Saved me from having to stop Si- Riley from giving them a piece of his mind.” 
You smile, dropping your head. 
“Yeah well it was nothing. You don’t have to say thank you. You turn looking over at the bus stop. “I really have to go.” 
“No, of course.” He says shaking his hands. “See you round then?” 
“Probably not.” You shrug. If he really is SAS he won’t be around by the time you get your next post. He nods knowingly his smile fading. You smile back at him then turn to leave the base.
When you made it home you welcome the rest. Your small London apartment had been rented out for the few months you had been away, the place was going to need a good clean tomorrow. The thought of sleeping in a bed that had been home to a stranger for 5 months felt icky so you ended up curling up on the sofa turning the TV on for background noise. Your mind turning to Johnny. Wonder what he’s doing? Think he’s still at the base?
Your mind some how turned to Simon too, thinking back to all the rumours you’d heard. None of them even remotely sounding plausible. Who cares, he has his reasons for the mask, it’s none of my business. Your phone buzzed and you reached over to pick it up. 
Made it home safe? 
It was Johnny, he hadn’t texted you since the coffee date. Well date was the wrong word. 
Yeah.
You hover over the send button wondering if this was a good idea or not. You take a deep breath in and hit send throwing the phone to the other side of the couch going back to watch whatever distraction was on the TV. You don’t even remember falling asleep.
...
You’re woken by a knock at the door, you look out the window the sun is peaking through the clouds, you check your watch its 10am. There is another knock. You pull yourself off the couch stiff from sleeping in such an awkward position.
“I’m coming.” You call yawning, looking through the peep hole. 
What the fuck? 
You open the door. 
“John?” You ask shocked.
“Hey,” He says, his smile radiating off his face, his hair is a mess he looks like he’s barely slept. You look at him in stunned silence shaking your head. 
“I wasn’t completely honest with you.” He says. “Can I come in? I’ll be quick I promise.” 
“Not really the best opening line if you want to get into someones flat.” You say.
“Scouts honour.” He says holding up 3 fingers. You roll your eyes and step aside so he can come in. 
“When I said it was complicated, it’s not cos I’m married to the job…” He trails off standing in your kitchen door so there is at least a foot distance between you two. 
“I am married, to Simon.” Your mouth falls open at the revelation.
“Simon Riley?” you ask, almost shaking your head in disbelief.
“Yeah,” He shrugs.
“So you’re gay?” 
“Yeah, well bi, both of us. That’s why it’s complicated.” You shake your head not quite understanding. He seems nervous all of a sudden.
“Well, we both still like women, and, you know-or I guess you don’t know-we experimented threesomes and what not.” He ran his hand through his hair. “There is something different about you, we’ve both been obsessed with you, can’t get you out our heads.” 
“Both?” You ask, your mouth hanging open. Obsessed?
“Aye, Simon’s not good with words though, or at least not till he gets to know ya.” He chuckles running his hand through his hair again. You take a deep breath out.  
“What do you want Johnny?” You ask. Is he asking for sex? A threesome? 
“Have coffee with me and Simon.” He asks pressing his hands together.
“That’s it coffee?” You ask somewhat stunned. 
“Yeah.” He says nodding. 
“You came all the way to my flat to ask me to have coffee with you and Simon?” You fold your arms, you can’t tell if you feel disappointed it’s not sex or annoyed that he’s basically invaded your privacy for something so trivial. He shrugs. 
You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. It’s the first day of your leave and you’ve basically been followed home. You sigh, it’s not like you have anything better to do while you’re on leave, and it is only coffee. You take a big breath in opening your eyes. Johnny’s smiling again, the smile that makes your heart skip a beat and the butterfly's wake up. 
“Okay.” You nod, You don’t get chance to finish your thought cos he’s thrown his arms round you squeezing you. 
“Thank you, thank you.” He says breaking from the hug. Your cheeks are definitely red now, after feeling his body pressed against yours. You can’t help smiling. He reaches over for the door handle.
“I’ll text you a time and a place,” you nod as he goes out the door.
“Hey Johnny how did you find my address?” 
“A friend of a friend,” he smiles up at you from the stairs. You shake your head in disbelief. What the hell just happened? You go back into your flat locking the door behind you and going over to the balcony. You’re looking for a car but you don’t see anything. 
You let out a long breath. What could he want? You push the thought away. It’s just coffee. Coffee with John and Simon who are SAS soldiers. Married and are probably wanting to proposition you for a threesome. 
You go back inside looking over at your immaculately clean bathroom. You better get started, 5 months on base have done you no favours. 
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rileysluvr · 1 year ago
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super short price nsfw because i am his girlie til the day i die. he’s a bit of a meanie in this one tho so read with caution!!
“Again,” he orders.
You take a deep, shaky breath in an attempt to somewhat ground yourself, but it’s a difficult feat when you're being held down on your surperior’s hard lap by his big arm splayed over your hips. A thick, dusty book on the desk in front of you, flipped to the page that entirely covers the military-workplace regulations he was scolding you for until tears began to bead at your waterline. You don’t think you’ve ever been this humiliated.
Your vision is blurry, and it’s at that point where your memory serves you better than what you’ve been ordered to do, which is to read until you can’t. He’s broken you down to a writhing mess atop his thigh as both of yours can only drape over one of his huge ones. Back flush against his chest with his palm rubbing your pussy in all the right ways; you swallow thickly, wondering if you can even go on any longer in this state.
“Fifty-nine, oh-one: ‘Service personnel are to wear-” you pause to breathe, fighting back a stutter, “…appropriate regulation uniform on duty—”
A bashful whimper cuts you off mid-recitement as he somehow manages to shove his two fingers even deeper into your cunt, nudging against your nerves rather harshly. Your legs squeeze around his thigh and your hands twitch in their place wrapped around to your sides. All the willpower in your body being used to keep yourself from bucking your hips forward and earning another half-hour of degrading names and treatment.
“Did you hear me tellin’ you to stop?” he barks, but it’s in that calmer manner that spins your mind around until you can’t decipher the difference between anger and sympathy. You shake your head, and you don’t need to have a visual on his face to feel the disapproval teetering off his bitten tongue and firm expression. “Then why don’t I hear you reading, eh?”
Your voice trembles, almost enough for him to take pity on you; “Sir, please- I’m trying.”
You weren’t even on duty today, for fuck’s sake. You had stopped by to pick up a personal belonging, only to be reminded how your captain views you as his own the second you step foot through the base’s front gate. And you were never good at avoiding his stalking gaze, especially when he’s got access to eyes stationed at every nook and corner.
“Christ, y’need me to spell it out for you? Is that it?” he scoffs. “How many times’ve we been over this?”
The way he berates and babies you has your cheeks stained and glistening with tears, and your mind all jumbled considering how easily he switches back and forth from mean to soft. Soft like how his fingers pull out and away from your cunt and hold themselves just far enough to make you shift your hips forward in search of them, only to be held back by his arm’s weight. Mean like his spat words and the grip with which he grabs your jaw, squeezing tight and puffing your cheeks out a bit in an attempt to get you to focus; to knock some sense into that strained, precious little brain of yours.
“Pretty fuckin’ simple task for a soldier, if y’ask me.”
Because deep down, he truly cares about your well-being. He only wants the best for his girl, and the dynamic between you.
And you wouldn’t want to disappoint your superior even more than you already have, now, would you?
He lets go of your face to allow you to finish, a nervous and newfound quietness croaking in your throat in addition to your already shy voice after his display of aggression; “—except when otherwise ordered by a Commanding Officer…’”
“Good girl,” he drags upon your completion, along with his hand that sneaks back into your panties. You jump from the coldness of his skin but he barely pays any mind to it. “Keep going for me, now, pretty. Go ‘head and skip some.”
It’s a repeated process; you recite what you know, mess up due to his cruel ways of sadistic teasing, and watch on from the outside as your self-respect crumbles so easily. You acknowledge it, you feel it, and you willingly ignore it because you know that whatever he plans on giving you afterwards will far surpass any other means to pleasure.
His time, his teachings and guidance, his own pleasure. They’re better than gifts, really.
“‘No item of uniform which has not been authorized is to be worn.’” You mumble for the entirety of the final sentence, now expecting him to get on you for not speaking clearly enough.
Instead, his middle finger delves between your folds and dips into your cunt at last, ripping a hiss and another whine from high in your throat from his rough treatment.
“And who authorizes your uniform?” he finally asks.
He adds his ring finger and the fullness in your cunt would be uncomfortable if the heel of his palm wasn’t digging into your clit at the particular angle. It numbs the stretch and your worries, so much so you nearly forget what he had asked you.
You gasp, eyes shooting open to meet cold, empty office in stark contrast to the warm, staggering frame pressed up against your back. Every muscle and every flex beneath the cotton material of his shirt being embedded into your mind.
“You do, Sir—mph!—it’s only you.”
An approving rumble from his chest vibrates against your back, and you lean into him with a soft moan when he curls his fingers upward in that way he knows you respond to the best. Head leant back on his shoulder, you hold onto his arm to stabilize your spinning mind once he begins slipping his rough fingers in and out of your sensitive pussy more firmly.
“So you show up to base in this pretty, little dress on your off-day, and expect to leave here without any punishment?”
His words exceed intimidating to a great extent, but the way he coos them so gently right by your ear leads directly to you scrambling them into nothing more than sweet blurbs and mumbles. He continues his short scolding as if he doesn’t know how dumb he’s got you already, ready to make you bite the consequences for your inability to respond to him later.
“Distractin’ me ‘nd all the other men here while we work, like you don’t know what your body does to them. What you’re worth around here, to the lot of bastards falling asleep with their dicks in their hands to the pretty image of you dressed like this,” he emphasizes with the tug of your dress’s ending hem.
“Sir,” you whine, not paying a single nod to his language because your numbed mind can simply no longer compute it. Muffled and unclear, though the mean and deep drawl that bleeds through pushes you all the much closer to bliss.
“Feels good, I—please… ’m so, so close, Sir—!”
You whine and clasp your hand down on his arm for some sort of spiritual stabilization, and he only picks up the pace. He works you up so quickly after edging you for what felt like hours, as this time he gives absolutely no notion to relenting.
“That right?” Of course, you can’t respond with much more than a whimper as you rock your hips back and forth on his hard thigh, his skilled fingers working you up to ecstasy.
“Yes, yes ‘m gonna—it’s too much, Sir, ‘m gonna come—!”
He chuckles, his arm around your waist pulling you impossibly closer into him. You convulse around his fingers and moan through your high as he militantly, yet somehow so expertly, turns your vision to stars and your limbs into a limp mess atop him. It’s like he knows your body better than you do yourself, making you come harder with his fingers alone than anyone has ever. You thank him profusely, soft words of mantra like music to his ears as he decides what to do with you next.
He gives you no time to recover before he’s wrapping both his hefty arms around you and hauling you up in front of him, big palm instantly meeting with your shoulder blade to shove you down on the wooden desk and ripping a gasp from high in your lungs. He leans over you, caging you in as he soothes his hand across your forehead; his version of intimacy, and whatnot.
You’re panting, utterly exasperated, but simply can’t help the way you wiggle your hips back against his to chase that good friction. He laughs at your display of neediness for his cock, knowing it’ll be a much longer while before he’ll let you have it.
“My stupid fuckin’ toy,” he mutters softly against your skin, and it sounds just as good as any flattering compliment would.
He takes the hem of your dress and hikes it up to reveal your ass, humming at the sight before leaning back in to kiss your temple. Facial hair tickling and invading your senses, nearly feeling like a sweet treat to shush the way you whine out with his hard bulge pressed up against where you’re most sensitive.
Thoughts of what he could do to you right now running rampant through both of your minds, none differing from each other nor unwanted from either party.
“You’re gonna let me use this body however I like, until you learn to behave yourself ‘round your coworkers. Till you learn a fuckin’ lesson for once. Sound quite alright, sweetheart?”
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godmadeaterribleerror · 5 months ago
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Chapter 6 - I've Been Searching for a Fortified Defense
Series Masterlist
Author's Note: As we begin our first 5-digit word count chapter (I can’t be stopped, someone take away my keyboard) and I find a stride of about two chapters per week, I want to say that: A) I fully intend on finishing this story. I plotted out the whole thing before I started, have made a few adjustments given the pacing I’ve done so far, and with how it’s broken down right now we’ll reach the end in 2-3 months. B) Thank y’all from the bottom of my heart for reading! If you have theories or thoughts or feedback please don’t hesitate to share them! I love hearing what you think of the plot and the characters, and every interaction means the world to me. Whether you’re only reading or leaving comments as well, thank you so damn much. I’ll see you next chapter (it’s gonna be a doozy) <3
Chapter Title from Bells in Santa Fe by Halsey.
Word Count: 11.2k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: You throw a punch, and Phase One: Operation Quick and Bald goes. Not well, but it goes. Contains usual warnings.
Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, fluff, angst
Read on A03!
Chapter 5 - Chapter 7
Taglist: @lordofthunderthr @kritara
Want to be tagged? Just ask!
Ben dodged the third punch in a row, grinning widely right up until the fourth one landed on his face.
“Ha!” She yelled, drawing back to shake her first out. “Take that, you weirdly fast man.”
Ben rolled his eyes, rubbing his face lightly. It hadn’t hurt—he’d barely even felt it—but She was being real fucking smug for someone who’d only just landed a hit after a damn week of attempting to do so.
“Yeah, sure, Sunshine. Keep it the fuck up, and at this rate it’ll only take you another couple thousand years to surpass Muhammad Ali.”
She raised her brows at Ben, pausing with a tilt of her head. “You were a fan of Muhammad Ali?”
He nodded, giving her a scrunched look of annoyance. “I’m a fucking American, and there ain’t nothing more red-blooded American than punching commies like that son of a bitch did.”
“What?”
“When he fought the Russian, and won. That’s fucking American.”
“Ben, you’re thinking of the plot of Rocky IV.”
“No, Muhammad Ali fought that Russian pussy and kicked his fucking ass.”
“No, Sylvester Stallone fought the Russian pussy and kicked his fucking ass. In a movie.” She laughed to herself. “I’m shocked you even saw Rocky IV, let alone were so impacted by it to let the plot override your knowledge of a real life person.”
“Shut up,” Ben grunted, moving his hands back to a defensive stance. She fucking always won these stupid arguments, and Ben couldn’t actually prove it, but he knew She was changing the fucking internet she loved so damn much to match her claims. “Go again.”
“Someone missed nap time.” She muttered under her breath, even though she knew Ben could fucking hear her, but put her fists up anyways. “Can this be the last one? I’m hungry.”
Instead of answering, Ben just launched himself at her, and She jumped to the side with a yelp.
“What the fuck, Ben!”
He turned and threw another punch, feeling pleased at the smooth way she ducked away and met it with a punch of her own. Her face had lost the pissy shock, laser-sharp concentration replacing it. Her eyes were narrowed, darting across Ben as he moved, her bobbing and weaving wasn’t entirely shit, and her heart was controlled with her breathing. She landed her second punch, this one on his shoulder, and Ben laughed, delivering one of his own.
“Christ, Sunshine, you’re fucking weak.” He laughed, examining Her carefully for any loss of control.
“I’ll kill you with my bare hands, Bitch.” She growled, lunging forward and grunting in frustration as Ben dodged with ease.
“That’s my line.” He taunted. “And you couldn’t even kill a man with an assault rifle if he was a fucking foot away from you.”
“Blow me.”
“I’ve been fucking trying- Fuck!” She landed her third punch, and it burned. Ben reached to touch where she’d hit and felt the skin mending across his jaw.
She was grinning in a wide, toothy, satisfied way. “Suck on that, cunt.”
“Bitch,” he muttered, looking down at his hand to see it raw and red from the contact with his face, with some of his fucking hair stuck to it.
“Did you burn off my fucking beard!” His head shot up to see a half-sheepish, half-amused look on her face, lips curled and eyes wide.
“Oops.”
He yelled her name, and she had the fucking nerve to giggle. “We said no fucking powers!”
“I forgot.” She said lamely, her face less and less apologetic by the second, giggling again as she offered some of the most insincere comfort Ben had ever heard. “It’s not even that noticeable! You look just as good as before!”
His anger faded, and he gave Her a cocky smirk, raising his brows. “You think I look good, Sunshine?”
“I’m being nice. Don’t ruin it.” She muttered, her face adorably flushed, and Ben didn’t miss the skip of her heart.
“Whatever keeps you up at night.”
“That’s not the phrase.”
He winked. “I know.”
She scoffed and turned away, but not before Ben could see the slight smile on her lips. “I’m going to shower, I’ll meet you in the living room in fifteen. If you’re not there, with food, I’m eating the TV.”
Ben frowned, calling after Her figure moving down the hall. “Has the TV been edible this whole fucking time and you didn’t fucking tell me?!”
Her laughter echoed back down the hall. "You're real fucking gullible, grampa!"
“You know I can’t fucking tell when you’re joking about that shit, you bitch!”
“Fourteen minutes, cunt!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to make food in fourteen minutes?!”
“You’re a big boy, you’ll figure it out!”
Grumbling a string of cusses Ben hoped She could fucking feel, Ben grabbed a cup of instant noodles and threw them in the microwave, wondering if She would notice if he spit in hers. After pulling them out, grabbing two spoons from the counter that he almost immediately bent, spilling one of the cups as he noticed the damaged utensils, spilling the other when he noticed the first spill, and having to start the whole damned fucking thing over, Ben made his way to drop on the couch next to where She sat, wet hair clinging to her pretty face.
“Heard a lot of swearing, Pretty Boy, everything ok?”
He grunted, shoving Her noodles against her chest and letting go, not giving a fuck if she had a grip on them. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Just asking a question,” he could hear her shit-eating grin. “Thought it was a free country. Thought a patriot like you would appreciate me exercising my first amendment right.”
“That protects you from the government, not me.” Ben parroted back the words She had yelled at him after he’d made the apparently fucking fatal mistake of saying “first amendment right” in her presence.
She chuckled, her voice teasing. “Didn’t know you were capable of retaining information about something other than yourself.”
“Well, your tits were looking great while you were bitching. It helped.” He grabbed the remote, raising it to the TV. “I made food. I’m picking what we watch.”
“If you pick Game of Thrones so you can watch the sex scenes again, I’m figuring out a way to kill myself and doing it on your bed.”
“Whatever gets you in my bed, Sunshine.” He winked. “And I’m invested in the fucking plot, it’s not just the sex scenes.”
“It’s mostly the sex scenes.” She said, not even flinching at his flirtation. “Just go watch porn. See how fast you can break the fleshlights. If you do all three in ten minutes, Butcher owes me twenty dollars.”
Ben scowled, not enjoying that She’d apparently been making fucking bets with Butcher about his masturbation. “I can last longer than ten fucking minutes, I’m not a fucking pussy.”
“Prove it.”
He grinned widely at Her as her face flushed adorably, her own phrasing catching up with her head. “I’d be honored, Sunshine.”
“You’re like a fucking rabbit in heat.” She muttered. “And if you do last longer than ten, Hughie gets the money, so keep that in mind when you’re jerking it to dragon boobs after I go to bed.”
“The dragons don’t have any fucking boobs, dumbass, the fucking hot lady queens do.” Ben said smugly, ignoring her eye roll. “And I would ‘jerk it’ in the privacy of my room, but someone won’t give me a fucking phone.”
“Yeah, the CIA. I’d actually back you up with Mallory, Pretty Boy. I think giving you a phone would be really entertaining.”
“I don’t need your fucking help.” He snapped, and she laughed.
“Can’t rely on just a handsome face to convince her that you somehow deserve the internet.”
“Handsome face?” He grinned at her, and only the slight stutter of her heart told Ben she heard him.
She made a mock face of thought. “Maybe if we suggested parental controls…”
“I’ll kill you, bitch.”
“I’ll make you the most useless and sad eunuch to ever grace this sorry planet, cunt.”
Ben glared at Her, and she reached over his arm to press play on the remote.
Most of the days since the failed Sister Sage mission had been like this. She and Ben got up, trained, ate, trained more, and then watched TV with dinner until She retreated to her room and Ben fought sleep for the rest of the night, alone. Neither of them mentioned how he’d saved her, or how She had started a habit of slapping Ben awake—he was pretty fucking certain that at this point she had figured out another way to break through the nightmares but was purposely choosing to fucking hit him instead—before she’d sit next to him for an hour or two after. Ben liked this unspoken arrangement, and liked even more how She had silently agreed to it. Just because he didn’t actively hate Her right now didn’t mean he was about become a sniveling pussy mess about feelings. Even if the lack of active hatred had morphed into something pulsing in his chest that he didn’t understand, and didn't fucking want to. Making Her instant noodles and not killing her when she lied to him for fun or called him “Pretty Boy” was as far as Ben would bend.
It had been mostly radio silence from the Boys, though Butcher and Cocksucker had visited two days after they’d dropped Her and Ben back at the safe house, as Cocksucker had managed to break his arm. There had been a long, incredibly boring and poorly told story as to how the injury had occurred, involving a supe, Nikola Tesla and something called a Cybertruck, but Ben had pretty much tuned out the entire fucking conversation once he realized they weren’t here for him at all. The only thing that had kept him from retreating to his room for the duration of the visit was the small falter in Her heart when she touched Cocksucker, her jaw clenched as Ben and Butcher watched Cocksucker’s arm heal into place in a fucking disgusting manner.
When She’d let go, she’d given Ben a weird fucking look with tight lips and sad eyes that he'd only seen before on Cocksucker. It had passed quickly, her face returning to apathetic and bored, her eyes regaining the sharp amusement they usually held, but fuck it had confused him. She and Butcher had started talking about missions and planning and other mind-numbing shit, Cocksucker shaking out his arm as if he didn’t trust that it was healed, and Ben had needed to piss and gone to do just that. Before he’d left, he’d caught Her a look of where the hell are you’d going, he’d grinned back with a wink of why, you want to join me?, and she’d rolled her eyes and returned her attention to Butcher. When he’d returned, Butcher and Cocksucker had left and She was glaring at him, arms across her chest.
“Are you an idiot, or just a dick?” She’d snapped.
He’d frowned at Her, trying to figure out what had made her all fucking bitchy. As far as Ben was concerned, he’d been fucking amazing, only calling Butcher a pussy twice and managing to refrain from talking to Cocksucker at all. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Butcher told me we’re moving on operation Quick and Bald soon. He told me you knew. Why didn’t you fucking tell me?!”
“Oh,” Ben had rolled his eyes. “I forgot.”
“You forgot?”
He’d shrugged. “Well, you fucking know now, so get over it. And what kind of fucking shit codename is Quick and Bald?”
“Fuck you, it’s an accurate and descriptive name.”
“How the fuck could that be ‘accurate and descriptive’?”
“Because two key factors of this phase of my plan are the quick and the bald.”
“Your plan?”
“Yeah, my fucking plan. That I fucking deserved to know the status of.” She’d scowled. “Butcher says it’s almost ready. He’ll get us in two days once it’s in place.”
That had been five days ago. Starlight and Cocksucker had dropped in after two days, full of apologies and updates that Ben didn’t give a fuck about, and when he’d asked Her for more information about the plan, she’d told him to “suck her dick and shove his questions up his ass until they reached his brain.”
So Ben still had no fucking clue what Quick and Bald was about.
Aside from Her lingering anger at him for apparently having the fucking nerve to ask questions about the jobs he had to do—an opinion he had made the mistake of voicing, leading the unwelcome lesson on the first amendment—She was being impossibly easy to talk to, and Ben was getting dangerously close to not only enjoying her company, but finding her comfortable. Part of him was hoping she’d say something very, very soon that would allow him to grip onto hatred, or at least indifference, for the rest of his time in this stupid fucking situation.
Instead, in a way that made Ben think God himself was out to fucking get him, he’d started to tell her things. Fucking voluntarily.
One of those nights where sleep had gripped his head and pulled him under, struggling and roaring, he’d woken up once more from only the force and sting of her hand across his face. She’d sat next to him again, and he’d asked her more questions about before, all of which she’d answered with a faraway, insufferably sad look in her eyes.
“How many siblings did you fucking have again?” He’d pressed once.
“Four,” She’d responded, a wistful smile on her face. “Two brothers, two sisters. All younger.”
“Your parents had four more kids after you? What, were you that fucking annoying they needed to try again four fucking times?”
“No, I was just so adorable they needed to try and recreate my perfection. Once they realized that was impossible, they gave up.” She’d smirked, and Ben hated that somehow he didn’t doubt her words. “Well,” she’d mused to herself. “That and they fell violently out of love with each other.”
“Violently?” He’d made a face, and she’d nodded solemnly.
“I shielded my siblings from a lot of flying plates.”
Ben found another thing to hate. Her parents, and how fucking sad she looked. “You miss them?”
“My parents?” She’d snorted. “I miss my dad. I hope my mom gets her head popped.”
He’d coughed to cover a laugh. “No, you fucking smartass. Your siblings.”
Her answer was quick and soft. “Every fucking day.”
Ben had grunted, watching the distance return to her face, and before he could stop himself, he was talking. “I didn’t have any siblings.”
Before he could curse himself out and try to distract Her with something else, she had been looking back at him with wide, focused eyes. “Do you wish you did?”
“I never thought about it,” he’d muttered. “My father was such a fucking dick I’m surprised he even got my mother to marry him, let alone fucking have one kid. I think he hated me enough to never fucking risk it again.”
“Risk it?” She’d kept her voice impossibly gentle as she’d asked, and it made his skin crawl all weird.
“I was the biggest fucking regret of his life. If he could go back and stop me from happening in the first place, make my mother flush me out, he wouldn’t have fucking hesitated.”
She’d paused, and a very fucking stupid part of Ben had thought she was going to let the conversation go. Of course, he should’ve fucking known by now that She damn well wouldn’t.
“What was your mom like?”
He hadn’t fucking expected that, and it had shocked him enough to answer. “Kind. Too kind for my father, he saw it as fucking weakness and told her all the fucking time. But she was so fucking kind.” He took a heavy breath. “She was full of love, and I have no fucking clue how. It was fucking stupid, all her love, even for my piece of shit father. He’d yell at her and threaten her and mock her, but she still fucking loved him. She fucking loved everything.”
Her voice was still gentle from beside him. “Like what?”
“Animals. Cats specifically. My father had all these fucking hunting dogs he loved more than anything, certainly more than me, and the only good thing he ever fucking did was trade one to get her a cat. It was massive, fluffy and gray, and it was a fucking asshole to everyone but her. It ate like a fucking elephant, shed like a whore in summer, but she loved it so fucking much.” At this point Ben had really wished he would shut the fuck up, but he couldn’t, and he was going to have to figure out a way to blame Her for that later. “She loved art. Painting. She tried to get me to love it too, even though I could barely draw a fucking worm. But I’d try, and she’d frame all my stupid, shitty drawings and hang them around the house until my father saw them and threw them in the trash. She loved music but couldn’t carry a tune if her life fucking depended on it. They’d go to the opera because my father would donate a ton for the publicity, and she’d come back all damn giddy. I’d wait up, just because she was fucking contagious when she was that happy. Even my father felt it, enough to just go straight to bed and not kick my ass for still being awake. She was fucking smart, too. Real fucking smart. My father would joke he wished she was a man, because then her brain would be useful. She would’ve fucking jumped for joy if she saw the world now. Met a fucking woman doctor.” He paused, looking back down at Her beside him. She hadn’t looked away from him, and there was none of the pity he’d expected to see on her face. It was just open, listening intently to his words with no malice or trickery behind her eyes.
“She sounds amazing.” She’d said softly, a small smile he didn’t understand on her face. “And your dad sounds like a fucking cunt.”
Ben had chuckled in surprise. “Fucking understatement of the damn year, Sunshine. That pussy would’ve tried to pry your degree from your fucking hands.”
“Let him try, I’d burn his fucking face off and laugh while I did it.”
“What were you even going to fucking do with a PhD in archeology?" He’d asked, and she’d huffed a small laugh.
“Anthropology, Pretty Boy. But nice guess.” She corrected. “And I’m honestly not sure. I’d quite literarily only just actually received the degree before everything… changed.” She’d sighed. “I had a few job offers, but mostly in academia and business. What I wanted was to work with nonprofits to help people.”
“Help people?” He’d given her a disbelieving stare. “With a prissy fucking degree?”
“Yeah, dickwad. Help people. I was a cultural anthropologist. I specialized in the evolution of cultures and ways to combat systemic cultural oppression.”
He’d stared at Her blankly. “You’re going to have to take down the fucking fancy talk by seven, Sunshine.”
“I studied how the government and culture is mean to people on purpose, and how to make them stop being mean.” She’d said flatly.
“Oh.” He’d rolled his eyes at the dirty look she was giving him. “Oh, fuck off. It wasn’t that painful to say.”
“Yes, it was.” She’d mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re not going to argue with me?”
“What’s there to fucking argue about?”
“I just called your beloved country an ‘oppressive system’.” She’d watched him wearily, but her heart remained steady. “Doesn’t it mar your refined American nationalism?”
“Do you fucking want me to be mad?” Ben had asked, raising his brows at her. “I can definitely find it in me, that’s not a fucking issue. But usually when we fight about this shit, you get all bitchy and don’t talk to me for way too fucking long.”
“I mean, no, I don’t want you to get mad…” She’d frowned, examining him with yet another fucking confusing look. “Does it really bother you when I ignore you?”
“No.” He’d snapped quickly. “It’s just annoying, and I don’t like having to fucking deal with it.”
She’d hummed with an amused smile on her face, and the conversation had moved on to something else. Ben had shoved down the way it had been so easy to talk about his mother with her, until it was somewhere in his gut and he didn’t have to think about the way the feeling rolled around inside him.
And he refused to even acknowledge how when She would smile now, he’d have to fight himself to not do the same.
———-
It had been a week since the Sage incident, a week since Ben had saved your life—you'd locked everything about that particular action from what you thought of it to how it made you feel somewhere deep in your chest—and you were starting to lose your mind a little bit. When Annie and Hughie had stopped by with nervous words about delays in your meticulously prepared and incredibly well-detailed plan, you’d been willing to wait another day, maybe two, before executing operation Quick and Bald. Now it had been three days, burgeoning on four, and you were worryingly close to leaving the safe house just to yell at Butcher. Ben could stay here, or follow you and help you beat Butcher up for all you cared. Which was, admittedly, worrying within itself. Especially because the whole point of operation Quick and Bald was to take preventative measures against Ben’s needless brutality.
Over a month ago, right after you’d moved into the safe house and when you had been ready to throttle Ben’s neck every waking moment—an urge that hadn’t entirely waned, but was now undercut with a weirder, stronger urge to be near him without any murderous intent—you’d spent the hours quarantined in your room perfecting your plan to get Ryan Butcher the fuck out of dodge. When they’d come to pick you and Ben up for the whole Neuman test, you’d left it in the van for Butcher to find, and had been waiting since for him to set up the dominoes so you could knock them over.
At this point, you’d be happy with not even “dominos to knock over” and just “one singular domino to throw at someone." You had begun to develop a habit of staring down the hall from the living room, trying to will someone to appear with at least a fucking update. So far this strategy was not working, and had apparently started to garner attention.
Sitting on the couch, the TV white noise in the background and noodles in your hand cold and forgotten, you felt a foreign rush of oddly tight concern run through your body. You frowned, heard your name from next to you, and turned to find that Ben had been poking your arm.
“Are you fucking alive?” He grunted, watching you with a frown.
“Literally? Yes.” You answered with a tight smile. “You have noodles on your face.”
He reached up to feel for them, not looking away from you. “What the fuck do you mean literally? How can you be fucking metaphorically alive?”
“Mind-body problem, Pretty Boy. And it’s not metaphorically, it’s philosophically.” You lean back, grinning.
“You’re a real fucking pretentious bitch sometimes.” He grumbled, still trying to find the food stuck to his beard.
“If you made me a shirt that said that, I’d wear it.”
“I’m not going to fucking make you a shirt, Sunshine. You couldn’t make me learn to fucking sow with a gun to my head.”
“Because the gun wouldn’t affect you at all?” You pointed to your own chin, mirroring where the noodle was caught.
He sneered. “Because I’m not a pussy.” His hand found the stray piece of his dinner, and he pulled it from his jaw.
“Big words from the man who took two tries to make me instant ramen- hey!” A wet noodle hits you in the face.
“Ramen your ungrateful ass didn’t even fucking eat.” Ben gave a pointed look at the abandoned cup in your hands, the food inside having long lost any heat. “Don’t fucking test me, or I’ll actually spit in your food next time.”
“Drama queen,” you muttered, peeking back at the door. “Like you don’t already do that.”
“I fight the urge to be a fucking bitch, unlike certain women.”
You nod absentmindedly. “Butcher.”
Ben snorted behind you, and a smile you hoped he didn’t see crept onto your face.
“Yeah, sure Sunshine.” His attention returned to the TV, and you did your best to not stare down the hall, trying to ignore the hope that the door now shrouded in darkness would open.
A successful effort that made you jump out of your seat when it did just that with an aggressive bang.
Ben was faster than you, practically launching himself over the sofa and bolting down the hall, a dangerous look of alarm the last thing you saw on his face before he was gone from the room.
“Shit, no! It’s me!” You heard a high-pitched shout from the shadows of the entrance. “It’s Hughie!”
“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You heard Ben’s growl of a response.
Butcher’s voice drawled from the shadows. “Oi, take a deep fucking breath and put the bloody kid down.” 
“Someone fucking answer me first.”
“Put him down, Soldier Boy, before we knock your ancient ass the fuck out.” The impatient, clipped words of MM responded, almost drowned out by Frenchie's shout.
“Can someone turn on the fucking lights? It is as dark as Monsieur Butcher’s heart and asshole!” 
“I- I don’t feel good.” Hughie’s voice stuttered.
“Ben!” You flicked on the hallway sconces, illuminating a scene of Ben’s full body weight pressing Hughie to the wall, Butcher and MM trying with practically negative success to pry him off, and Kimiko gripping one of Frenchie’s arms as his other groped around for direction. You let out a very long, very loud sigh. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“It’s fucking late,” he snapped, not letting Hughie go. “They shouldn’t be here so fucking late.”
“This ain’t your real house, Mate.” Butcher grunted, still trying to move Ben. “We can be here whenever we bloody well please.”
Hughie wheezed out your name in a pleading tone. “Your plan is ready. We’re here to- fuck- we’re here to get you.”
That got you moving, crossing to the end of the hall in quick, frantic steps. “It’s ready? Are you sure?” Hughie gave a weak nod, and you rolled your eyes, shoving Ben shoulder. “Put him down, dumbass. He’s not a threat, and honestly, probably the worst one to have gone after. Just, like, strategically.”
Ben glared at you, but let go. He glanced at where MM and Butcher were still grabbing him, and gave them a venomous look that got them both to let go and take hasty steps back. He shot a glowering look of they could’ve fucking waited until the morning in your direction.
You wrinkled your nose at him. No. Shut the fuck up. You turned to Hughie, not even bothering to hide the desperation you felt in your imploring stare. “It’s all ready? All of it? A-Train agreed to help? We’re sure Ashley has the information? We’re sure neither one is going to tell Homelander, and we’re not about to walk into a fucking trap?”
“Yes, yes, yes, kind of, and yes.” Butcher counted off on his fingers as he answered. “But we’ve got to go right fucking now.”
“Kind of?” Anxious energy rushed through you—that still-strange feeling lighting under your skin—and you ignored the weird look Ben shot you as it did. “What do you mean, kind of? If you fucked this up, Butcher, I swear to God-"
“Calm the fuck down, Love.” Butcher snapped. “It’s going to be fine, we’ll explain on the way. But we need to go fucking now if you want this to work.”
You gave a sharp nod, starting to pull on your boot, glancing up with a pause when you heard Hughie say your name behind you.
“Do you, uh, do you want to get dressed first?” His voice was still slightly weak as he recovered from Ben’s force.
You glanced down at your body, and decided that the oversized shirt and cloth shorts would be fine. They were from the CIA spring fire-proof collection, and that was more than enough. “Nope. Let’s fucking move.”
You were halfway to the door when a crash sounded behind you, and you whirled around to see MM firmly blocking Ben’s path, the crash seeming to have been Hughie stumbling into the wall in an attempt to get away from the standoff.
“You’re not coming, Soldier Boy. This is a goddamn delicate operation, and you’re the fucking reason we have to do it in the first place. We can’t afford you throwing a tantrum and screwing us.”
“I’m fucking coming, and it’s not up for fucking debate.”
Off to the side, Frenchie snickered as Kimiko signed how many times do you think he’s said that before?
Ben shot them an annoyed look, his fists clenching. “What’s so fucking funny?”
“Nothing,” Frenchie snickered, and his tone was so remarkably unconvincing that even if you hadn’t understood Kimiko, you wouldn’t have believed him.
Ben grunted and tried to move past MM, again to no avail.
He glared down at the firmly planted man, a familiar violent glint in his eyes. “You better fucking move now, before I make you.”
“Do your fucking worst, we’ll put you right back in the box. You’re not coming with us.”
“MM,” you said firmly, watching Ben's fists clench as the dangerous glint returns to his eyes. “We need to go.”
MM looks back at you, but remains in his place. “Are you fucking serious? You’re siding with him?”
“I’m not siding with him.” You keep your voice level, ignoring Ben’s smug face and grin. “We can’t leave him. The I go where he goes thing unfortunately goes both ways.”
“The safe house will hold him for five hours.” MM pushed, and before you could even shake your head, Ben cut in.=
"No, it won’t.”
You shoot him a look that says you’re being unhelpful, and he just returns it with his own of fuck off, you know you fucking want me there.
“Please, MM. He’ll stay quiet in the background, or I’ll burn his dick off. Right?” You direct your last words at Ben, giving him a pointed agree with me or I’m knocking you out and leaving you here look.
“Yeah, whatever. But I’m not staying in the fucking van like a pussy. And you’d better explain what the fuck is happening on the way, Sunshine.”
“Deal. But first they,” You narrowed your eyes at Butcher. “Have some explaining of their own to do.”
“Don’t lose your bloody mind, Love, it’s all in order.” Butcher said breezily, shoving past you to open the door. He gave a dramatic wave of his arm for you to exit, and with a look of doubt, you did.
The car ride was already poised to be uncomfortable. Butcher’s car was not equipped for seven people, let alone seven people where three were very large men, three were supes, and nobody wanted to have physical contact with two. As such, Butcher drove, MM sat in the front, you found yourself squished against one window with Ben between you and a remarkably uncomfortable Hughie, as Kimiko sat, slightly elevated onto their laps, between Frenchie at the other window, and Hughie. It was overall an unideal situation, made worse as your own frustration was amplified by Ben’s, and by Hughie revealing that it was, in fact, not all in order.
Your phase one, the original operation Quick and Bald had called for Ashley Barrett’s complete cooperation. You’d even painstakingly outlined all the potential ways to flip her—most involving something along the lines of hey, wouldn’t a job that didn’t make you so stressed you rip out all your hair and have to buy a bunch of wigs be nice?—and different ways to keep Homelander from finding out about her betrayal—Spain was lovely this time of year, and had a thriving BDSM community Ashley would love. While MM had managed to take care of your instructions for A-Train, the half of the plan you’d incorrectly anticipated to be more difficult, the Ashley situation was, in Butcher’s words, very fucking delicate, but we’ve adapted and everything will be bloody fine, so trust me and don’t be a fucking cunt about it.
You did not trust him. I didn’t help that you’d asked for any other possible details, and he’d pretended he couldn’t hear you. This suspicion was confirmed when, despite your incredible clarity that you would never step foot there again, Butcher seemed to be driving right to Vought Tower.
Your eyes had been steadily widening, panic starting to run through you the closer and closer you got, and you flinched when you felt Ben’s roughly shoulder nudge your own.
“What’s fucking wrong with you?” He’d asked in a low voice, barely audible over Hughie’s rambling explanation.
“You should listen,” you mutter back, trying to shut out the confusing concern he always seemed to feel at you, how it felt remarkably genuine, but was laced with anger that felt like it was trying to push out of your body. “Hughie’s explaining the plan.”
“Yeah, but all I have to fucking do is stay quiet, and I get to keep my dick. You’re being fucking twitchy and silent, and your heart is beating faster than it has all damn day, so don’t even try to fucking lie and tell me it’s fine.”
“It is fine, I’m fine-“ You paused as his words sank in. “Wait, what do you mean my heart-“
“Alright, here we go.” Butcher cut off both you and Hughie with a clap of his hands. “Everyone bloody out, let’s get this shitshow on the road.”
“Butcher,” you said, looking around to see you’d parked directly across from the tower entrance. “What the fuck are we doing here?”
“We’re meeting them right there.” MM answered for Butcher, pointing out of his window to something you couldn’t see. “It’s almost midnight, and Annie’s been making sure nobody gets inside but us.”
“But why?” You protest, even as MM leaves the car. “This,” you give a wide, general wave that hits Ben in the nose. “Cannot be the only option.”
“Both of them still have their trackers,” Hughie leans forward with an apologetic look as Frenchie and Kimiko exit the car. “This will look like they’re just getting a midnight snack, and hopefully Homelander won’t get suspicious.”
“Hopefully?!” You feel a rush of anger—not yours—and a twist of fear deep within your gut—absolutely yours. “Hopefully fucking Homelander won’t get suspicious?!”
Hughie gave an uncertain nod before very quickly scrambling to get out of the car. You take a long, deep breath, trying to steel yourself. A rush of what was becoming a familiar fuming and brittle concern ran through you. You look at Ben, to find his eyes locked firmly onto yours.
“Sorry about hitting-“
“I know how to hot-wire a car.”
You blink at him, taken aback by the firmness of his voice. “What?”
His hand moved to grip your thigh, his gaze not wavering. “I know how to hot-wire a car.”
You give him a flat look. “Yeah, I heard you the first time. Why are you telling me that?”
His frustration leaked into you. “Because say the word, I’ll steal Butcher’s car, and we’ll fucking leave.”
“What? Are you insane?”
“You look like you’re either going to start fucking crying or burst into flames, and this is a stupid fucking idea.”
“This was my plan.” You snap. “And I’m not stealing Butcher’s car. Why do you even know how to hot-wire a car anyway?”
Ben’s grip tightened. “No, your plan was stupidly well fucking thought out.”
“That’s an oxymoron.” You mutter, and he ignores you.
“And even if they haven’t completely fucking blown the execution, they completely squashed any chance of safety.”
“It’ll be fine,” you say, the words sounding fake even as you say them. “It’s late. He’s probably asleep.”
“What if he’s not?” His concern was starting to move to your throat, and there was something else, something sitting far deeper in your chest, beating and beating against you. Against you.
“Ben.” You place your hand over his. “I’ve worked too hard on this. This is the only way, and it will be fine.” You say the last words firmly and clearly, trying to make them sink into you. “Now take your fucking hand off of me, and get out of the damn car.”
He pulls himself from you, and even as his touch leaves, the concern and beat linger until he’s gone from the car. You drag yourself across the seats and ignore Hughie’s offer of a hand as you duck out of the car and onto the curb. You notice the 24 hour diner MM must have been pointing out almost immediately, half because—aside from an incredibly sketchy looking deli a few doors down—it’s the only building with its lights still on, and half because two very flustered teenagers are sulking away from the entrance, where Annie stands with her arms crossed. She’s already spotted your group, and has angeled her head in a signal to join her.
“You’re late.” She chides as you approach.
“Well, Starlight, I’d apologize, but it was those two fuckheads,” Ben and MM both receive a jabbed thumb over Butcher’s shoulder. “Who decided to draw out the bloody carpool process.”
“I told you not to call me Starlight anymore, Butcher.” Annie snaps, not giving him a chance to respond before she turns to you. “A-Train is, somehow, running behind as well. Hopefully Ashley’s just being resistant to getting food with him, but they’ll be here.”
“Isn’t running that pussy’s whole fucking thing?” Ben muttered, quiet enough for only you to hear. You step as hard as you can on his foot.
“Shut it, Pretty Boy.” You whisper over his grunt of what probably is more emotional pain than physical.
“Bitch.” He hisses back.
“Cunt.” You raise your voice so the others can hear you. “We should go inside, it’s risky to just… stand here.”
With nervous looks around and stuttered agreements, you all make your way into the diner. The lights are flickering, and it’s eerily empty with only a very nervous-looking blonde waitress at the counter. She makes a very big show of asking how many are in your party, leading you to a large, round table, and laying out the menus with shaky hands. Kimiko, Hughie, Annie, and MM try and offer her comforting smiles, though MM’s is strained as he keeps a vigilant glare on Ben. The waitress is staring at Ben herself, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, glacing back as she leaves to get your and Butcher’s coffee, Annie and MM’s tea, Kimiko and Hughie’s milkshakes, and Ben and Frenchie’s orders of “the strongest alcohol you’ve fucking got.” Your personal bet was it was going to just be very old beer.
“Why is she fucking staring at me?” Ben muttered to you, watching the waitress as she walked away. “Did you fuck up my beard that bad?”
“Your beard looks literally the same.” You dismiss. “And it’s because, as far as the public knows, Maeve killed you in a heroic act of self-sacrifice to stop your evil, anti-American attacks. That, or she wants to fuck you.”
“Hm,” he looks back at you, settling down into his seat. “Am I allowed to bring guests into the safe house?”
“No.” You say, a little more curtly than you intended. Seeing his wide, cocky grin, you clairfy. “It’s a breach of security. She would need to pass a CIA vetting and be approved by, like, twenty people. I don’t think she’d do that just to fuck you.”
Ben shrugs, his smirk only growing. “You did.”
“I’m going to cut off your balls and feed them to you-“
“Hey,” MM cuts you off, saying your name in a brisk, hard tone from across the table. “They’re here.”
You snap your head to the door, where A-Train is practically pushing Ashley into the diner.
You hear her voice clearly over the recession pop humming from the speakers. “Why can’t we just go to the fucking deli? They make these amazing meatball subs and supes eat free, so you could order for both of us- oh fuck no.”
“Oh, shit.” MM mutters, jumping to his feet with Butcher and Annie as Ashley notices them, and promptly tries to dash for the exit.
You don’t entirely blame her. You’d probably do the same. You had done the same, an unhelpful voice reminds you.
“I- Am- Not-“ Ashley is trying to get past A-Train, who hasn’t given up trying to herd her further into the diner. “Fuck- this-“
“Ashley, just listen to them, I fucking swear-“
“Why should I trust you?!” Ashley doubles over, out of breath. “You fucking tricked me! Midnight snack my fucking ass- Fuck no!” She raises a crooked finger at Annie, who has stopped in front of her. “Get the fuck away from me, you bitch.”
“Ashley, please listen to A-Train-“
“No! Just leave me the fuck alone! I don’t want to be a part of your weird fucking eye for an eye justice shit-“
“You kind of already are.” MM says as he locks the door behind her. “You work for Vought, your it’s motherfucking CEO. That makes you a part of this, like it or not.”
“Not!” Ashley shouts. “I don’t care what you have to say! Homelander’s going to fucking kill me, oh my god.” She starts to hyperventilate. “If he finds out I was here, he’ll kill you-“ She points a shaky finger at A-Train. “And then make me go on fucking TV to explain why you’re missing, and then fucking kill me-“
Butcher scoffs. “Bloody hell, lady. Calm the fuck down, Homelander ain’t gonna find out.”
“You don’t know that!” She shrieked. “He knows fucking everything! Especially since fucking Sage joined!” She spins around frantically, and her wild eyes lock onto yours. “He knows about them!” A shaking finger jumps between you and Ben. “Fuck! He’s supposed to be fucking asleep and now he’s fucking not! And he was so fucking angry about her, I’ve never seen him so fucking angry-“
Whatever else Ashley stutters about Homelander’s anger is lost to you as the world freezes. The feeling isn’t just under your skin, it’s up your spine, in your blood, circling around your brain. It’s fucking everywhere and you can’t fucking breathe, her words looping around you.
He knows. He’s angry. He fucking knows. He’s fucking angry. He fucking knows and he’s fucking angry and he fucking knows and he’s fucking angry and-
A white hot, impossibly calm feeling crashes over you. It’s angry, hungry and angry, but it’s grounding, sharpening everything around you. Suddenly the world is back in complete focus, Ashley’s shrill rambling scraping at your ears, and in the distance that weird fucking rhythm is sounding. As the feeling in your body returns fully, you realize Ben’s hand is back on your thigh. You bounce it, looking up to give him a glare, and find he’s not even looking at you. Instead, his eyes are trained on Ashley, narrowed and cold. You give a small cough, and when he glances down at you, the feeling of anger stutters with something lighter, though only for a second.
You give another bounce of your leg, a look of move your damn hand or lose it taking over your face.
No, not until you calm the fuck down his scowl responds.
You huff, standing abruptly, and his hand falls off at the force of your movement. Suddenly you feel a lot less solid, but reason that your legs are shaky from the Homelander of it all, and if any situation calls for fractured nerves, it’s this one.
“Ashley.” You call across the diner, trying not to stutter or chew off your lip as her protests falters and attention turns to you. “If you know who I am, you know I wouldn’t be anywhere near here if we weren’t certain it was safe. Just have some food with us, listen, and then you can go.”
Ashley gives you a scowl that might surpass Ben’s but nods tightly, yanking her arm from where A-Train had been trying to hold her in place. You sit back down as the group at the door returns to their seats, the poor waitress pressing herself against the bar as they pass. Letting out a shaky, unsteady breath, you try and still yourself as you look out the diner window. City lights. Music.
City lights.
Music.
It was safe. He knows and he’s angry but was safe and there were city lights and music.
Your breathing was no longer coming in short, distressed bursts, but getting air in and out of yourself still felt like an act of labor, and you needed to get it the fuck together before Ashley sat down.
City lights. Music.
You can’t hear the song the diner is playing, instead letting your whole mind turn inward, allowing the ghost of music you can no longer sing to wash over you.
Ashley sits across from you right when you regain control, and from the corner of your eye, you see Ben pulling his hand from where it had been inching towards yours.
Her eyes flit, nerves poorly hidden, from you to Ben to Butcher to Annie and back to you, and her voice is high and shaky when she speaks. “Well?”
“Ashley, we need your help.” Annie leans forward, palms flat on the table.
“Well, then we’re done. I can’t help you. They don’t tell me anything, not really.” Ashley tries to stand, but her arm is caught by A-Train. “Really?” A-Train hisses as he pulls her back into her seat beside him. “They don’t tell you anything my ass, we sit in on all the same meetings. And I pulled these files-“ He pulls out a thumb drive from absolutely nowhere and drops it on the table. “Using your name, so you clearly have access to them.”
“What?!” Ashley looks at the thumb drive like it’s going to either explode or start jizzing on her blouse. “Why would you fucking do that?”
“Insurance.” A-Train answers smugly, the thumbdrive clearly having his intended. “I can’t open it, so you’re going to tell them how, and then I’ll erase the records of you taking the files from the system.”
Ashley looks around at your group, shaking her head. “No.”
“Sorry, Mate. We ain’t really asking.” Butcher leans across A-Train, shoving the thumb drive closer to Ashley. “Do us this solid, and A-Train won’t go right up to Homelander and tell him about how he saw you also cuddly and tight with me, Soldier Boy, and his favorite missing person.”
Your heart jumps right into your throat. City lights. Music.
Suddenly, Ben’s elbow is planted against yours, and you’re pulled back down to earth just in time to hear Ashley yell, “This is fucking blackmail! I’ll fucking sue!”
“You cannot sue government officials, madame.” Frenchie says smugly, and Hughie shakes his head.
“That’s- Frenchie, that’s not even kind of true.”
“You’re also not a government official.” Annie adds.
Frenchie looks genuinely perplexed at this and gives Kimiko a confused frown, receiving a shrug in return.
“But,” you pipe up, your voice somehow bored and casual. “I’m legally dead. He’s-“ You jab Ben in the chest, and Ashley’s eyes widen. “Legally dead and an enemy of the state. You can’t sue either of us, not without admitting some Vought secrets that will be very bad PR.” You give her a twisted smile, leering across the table. “Help us, or, even if Homelander believes you, which we both know he won’t, you’ll get fired. And I’m sure they’ll be very understanding and normal about how they do it.”
You feel a flash of weird pride and realize you can see Ben fighting a smile in your periphery.
Ashley has a fearful expression, looking at where your elbow is still connected with Ben’s. “What- what's even on it?”
“Becca Butcher files.” You say, not taking your gaze from her, but you didn’t need to look around to see the sudden, rigidness with which everyone sat. You even felt Ben’s own shock run through you.
You’d be lying if you said hiding the exact contents of the file hadn’t been a very purposeful choice that you and Butcher had made. He’d cornered you, demanding to know what you planned on doing should Soldier Boy go after Ryan, and you’d told him that it wouldn’t be an issue. Ryan looked up to Homelander, that was why he stayed. He’d lost his mother, he didn’t trust Butcher, all the poor kid had was his insane, sociopathic father. Some part of you—small and sad and tired, still sitting on a staircase in Boston—understood that. But with Becca gone, gone forever, Ryan didn’t have a place to run like you’d had. Homelander was the default, and just kind enough to his son that Ryan could force himself to forgive Homelander again and again. Homelander was safe for Ryan.
You were going to make sure Ryan never saw Homelander as safe again. And that started with Becca Butcher and would end with you. So you and Butcher had agreed with a tight handshaked that he'd ripped his hand from right after, everyone was only going to know what they needed to. That was the only way it would work.
“Becca Butcher files?” MM repeats in a slow, incredulous tone. “You,” he turns with a look of shock to Butcher. “You knew about this? You’re fuckin okay with this?”
“I’m doing what has to be done, Mate.” Butcher answers flatly, then says your name. “Tell ‘em the plan, Love.”
“We need to get Ryan away from Homelander. Ryan needs to know about his mother.”
“No,” Ashley was emerging from the shock to try and stand from the table, but A-Train’s arm shot out, pulling her back down once more. “No,” she says again, looking around desperately. “Ryan, Ryan is all he has. All he cares about. You take Ryan he’ll lose his mind-“
“He’s already lost his mind.” Something snaps in your chest—a cruel feeling waking up as you watch Ashley fret about Homelander. “And I couldn’t give less fucks about what he cares about.” The feeling is crawling across your skin. “If this hurts him, good. It could never hurt him enough to make it right.” You hear drums and still can’t place where they’re coming from. “Now listen to the last fucking strand of your morality on your scalp and fucking help us.”
Ashley shakes her head again, this time with less certainty. “It’s- no- He-“ she pulls in a deep, unsteady breath. “He won’t stop until he gets Ryan back. He already is going insane about you and him and how he needs to get you back safe and put him back down, and if Ryan goes to then nothing will stop him-“
The drums are loud now, and something that’s usually there on Ben’s face is missing. Your own body doesn’t feel entirely normal anymore, but it’s not paralyzed or running. You can feel something in Ben caving, falling inward in a growing rhythm, moving in time as something in you grows. It's not in you now, it’s across you, coating your skin and singing with glee.
“Ashley,” the sound of your voice is a little far away, but you can hear it echo through you. It’s wired, hot, a warning.
“I- I can’t.”
“Yes, you fucking can.” You sneer. “You’re just too much of a pussy to do it.” Ben coughs in the way that you know means he wants to laugh, just as the drums stutter and move farther away.
“Please, I don’t-“
“Do not make me stab you.”
Ashley falters, looking you up and down. “You won’t.”
“Trust me, she will.” Ben smirks, giving you a nudge. “She’s surprisingly violent.”
“I, I won’t. I can’t. He’ll kill me-“
“You think we won’t?” Ben growls, any amusement in him gone as you feel something unbreakable and resolved through your body.
Ashley tries to run again, this time actually managing to get up from the table, but is knocked flat on her ass by A-Train before she can take two steps. You stand and give the itch, now under your tongue and your nails, a small scratch.
“Oh, fuck no.” You hear scrambling as you walk around the table and stop, staring down at Ashley.
She’s crawling back from you, back from the fire curling from your whole body, and disgust curls in your gut. For the first time you feel anger—insatiable and gory anger—all of your own. No city lights flash around you, no hollow music dances around your head. You don’t fear Ashley. She’s weak and spineless. She’s willing to cover her hands in Ryan’s blood, in your blood, to keep herself safe from Homelander. She’s staring at you, terrified, and you don’t need to touch her to know it isn’t even a fraction of all the fear you felt in that white room. That white room she knows about, may have seen, and is still trying to keep Homelander happy.
You bend down, letting all your hatred for Vought, for her, cover your features. When you speak, your words are clear and low.
“You are going to tell Butcher how to access the thumbdrive. A-Train and you are going to take some food with you, and walk back to the tower. You aren’t going to tell Homelander about this, and if he asks, offer him some leftovers. A-Train will erase your activity from the files, and you’re going to pretend the whole night never happened. If you tell Homelander about either me or Be-“ You correct yourself smoothly. “Soldier Boy, the last thing I will do before he locks me away again is kill you. Do I make myself clear?”
Ashley nods frantically, flinching when you raise your hand.
“Say it. Say that I made myself clear.”
“You-“ Ashley stutters, hiccuping. “You made yourself clear.”
You draw yourself back up. “Good. Butcher, I’m leaving. You can drive me and come back, or Ben can steal your car, but I’m leaving.”
When you turn, when you see the looks on your team’s face, all the anger is gone, and suddenly there is a crushing, painful weight of shame on your chest. They’re looking at you like Ashley had been, like you’re no better than Homelander. Like maybe you should go back in the room, it would be safer for them, it would be safer for everyone if you were far, far away-
“You heard the lady.” Ben is standing, walking around to your side. “It’s late. We’re leaving. Sunshine?” He offers you his arm, and you stare between it and your own, still covered in flame. Looking up, his face looks bored, as if this is just another Tuesday, and he offers his arm to women who are actively ablaze on a regular basis.
Your face feels slack, and all you can manage is to blink at him. I’ll burn you, Pretty Boy. It’ll hurt.
His brows subtly knit, and he doesn’t move. I’ll live, Sunshine. Don’t let them see you break. We’re going home.
You look back at your team, a wide circle of berth having formed around you and Ben. Butcher is looking between the two of you, and you recognize that glint in his eyes. You’d seen it before, but it’s only been really, truly directed at you once. In a graveyard in Boston, gravestones and bushes around you burning in the dead of winter, holding a bucket of ice that steamed off your skin. Under it, fear begins to creep back into you, exhaustion pushing it forward. Butcher reaches behind him, and your knees feel weak.
But you don’t fall. Zealous anger, strong and raw, spreads through you and Butcher’s movements still. You look down and find Ben’s arm unflinchingly looped through yours, his body at its full height as his eyes rake coldly over Butcher.
The silence hangs in the air, cut through only by Ashley’s quick, sobbed breaths. For a second you think the smoke seeping from you will overtake the room before anyone moves, but Butcher slowly reaches into his pockets, eyes not leaving Ben’s, and throws the keys at Hughie.
“Drop them off, Mate, then come right back. No bloody detours.”
Hughie stares at the keys, looking like he’s going to protest, but Kimiko grabs them before he can.
She turns to you, completely composed, no fear wavering as she locks your eyes with hers. I’ll take you.
Before you can thank her, Frenchie steps forward, signing as he speaks. “Mon Coeur, you cannot drive.”
She frowns. Yes I can.
“No, Mon Coeur, not legally.” Frenchie says, exasperated, and you have a feeling this is not first time they've had this debate.
Kimiko rolls her eyes at you. Fine. She signs back at Frenchie, throwing the keys at him. You’ll do it.
Frenchie stumbles as he catches them, giving Kimiko a shocked look, which she pretends not to see as she walks to the door, signing at you as she passes.
Let’s go before Butcher’s brain starts working.
A small smile threatens your face, and you move, tugging Ben’s arm only once before he falls into pace with you, Frenchie scrambling behind you both.
The car ride back feels longer. The moment you’d stepped out of the diner, your body had extinguished, and you had a worrying sense that the only thing keeping you from collapsing on the sidewalk was Ben’s arm firm through yours. No words were said for the entirety of the drive, you and Ben in the backseat as Frenchie drove and Kimiko lounged in shotgun, and your brain raced. Ben hadn’t let go, and the drums were fading in and out of your chest as he stared ahead into the night.
You arrived at the safe house, only a street lamp casting a dull glow across the street. The chill of the wind cutting against you as Kimiko walked you to the door, Frenchie mumbling something about keeping the car safe from Hooligans. Ben made to step inside, but halted, still not releasing your arm, as you stayed at the doorstep.
At his questioning glare, you tried to wiggle his arm from yours. “Go inside, Ben. I’ll be right there.”
He looked down at where he was still connected with you, and you felt reluctance in time with the drums, but he let go with a scowl. “Be fast,” he grunted, and stomped into the house.
You watched until he’d disappeared fully down the hall, turning to Kimiko only once his back was shrouded in the darkness of the house.
“Thank you,” you give her a soft smile, signing as you speak. “I- I don’t know what happened, I just-“
She shakes her head, and you trail off. I understand. I get angry too. She pauses, hands hovering for only a second. We are not like them. She points down the street, in the direction of the tower, and then past you, into the house. We get to be angry.
“I don’t want to be angry.” You say softly. “He wins when I get angry.”
Kimiko gives you a sad look, placing a hand on your arm. Her own frustration, her fear of Homelander, all the anger at the world, sinks into you. She holds your gaze for a second before drawing back to sign once more. He doesn’t win when you’re angry. He wins when you’re scared. You’re not Soldier Boy. Your anger is good.
You glance back into the house. “I think he- Ben- Soldier Boy- is scared. Or something. His emotions are really fucking confusing.”
You let him touch you. She signs. Does he know?
“He said he didn’t care, because he’s, and I quote, ‘not a pussy with something to hide’.”
But he’s scared? She gives you a questioning frown. Do you think it’s because of Russia? Could you fix it, like you offered for me?
“I’m not sure, but-“ you’re cut off as Frenchie honks the horn, leaning out the window.
“Mon Coeur!” His odd position makes his signing almost unintelligible, which he seems to realize, and raises his voice. “Monsieur Butcher says to get back ‘like a hare with a bomb up it’s arse'.”
Kimiko rolls her eyes at you, but signs a goodbye, giving your hand a small squeeze before returning to the car. As the engine rumbles, Frenchie pulling out the driveway, Kimiko’s calm faith lingers in you, and you walk back into the house, shutting the door behind you.
Almost all the lamps and ceiling lights of the house are off, the TV glowing from where you had abandoned it several hours ago. From the bottom of the stairs, you can see the upstairs hall is washed in a soft yellow, and when you reach the top Ben’s door is open, the light from within filling the hall. You stop at the entrance to his room, his back to you as he pulls a cotton shirt over his head.
You let out a small cough in a weak attempt to alert him to your presence.
“You’re allowed to just come in, Sunshine.” He grunts, still facing away. “I’m not a shy little virgin you need to pussyfoot around.”
You let out a small hum, walking over the threshold and stopping a few feet behind him. “Thank you.” You say softly, and he turns around to look at you.
His eyes are tired. Pained. Something looks like it’s pulling at him and it scares you. You’ve seen that expression before, when you’d woken him up that first day, at the Neuman mission, when you pulled him from nightmares with sharp hits, but never just there. It was always with something. This was like an island, just him and you, nothing pulling it out of him.
“Don’t thank me.” He says gruffly. Even his voice is drained. “You mostly held your own.”
“But-“
“And stop feeling bad about that Ashley bitch. She fucking deserved it.”
You stare at him. “You really believe that?”
He lets out a hollow laugh. “She was fucking pathetic. A fucking pussy. Fucking eating out Homelander’s fucking hand, brown-nosing him until he fucking cums and pays her, letting him take you-“ His jaw clenches. “I fucking meant it when I said we’re not going back Sunshine. I’m not a goddamn pussy liar.”
“I didn’t think you were. But, you…” Your voice fades as you try to find the words. “I could feel you. At the diner.”
“I fucking know, that was the goddamn point. I wasn’t going to let you start crying in front of those self-righteous pussies.”
“No, Ben.” You shake your head. “I could feel you. I could feel it.” You place a hand over your chest. “It was building. There was something beating against you, inside you. And you looked…” You watch him carefully. “Scared.”
“Fucking watch it.” He growls. “I don’t get fucking scared. I’m not-“
“A fucking pussy. I know.” You sigh. “I don’t want to, I can’t, fight right now. I’m so fucking tired. You can scream at me in the morning, but not right now, please.”
He stares at you, and just when you think he’s going to start yelling, he nods. “You’re…” He sounds strange. “You’re ok.”
Just like the last time he said it, the words aren’t phrased like a question. They don’t feel like a question. It feels like he’s just telling you again. But there’s something under it this time, something that makes his words almost unsure. Something that makes up your mind faster than you thought you would.
“Are you?” You ask quietly.
“Of course I fucking am.”
“Ben.” You tilt your head at him. “I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to respond now.”
“You’re being fucking weird, Sunshine.”
“Please.”
He relents with a grunt. “Fucking fine. What.”
“I can fix it.” It’s so hard to keep his gaze as you speak. “It will take time, but I can fix it.”
“Fix what.” He scowls. “There’s nothing to fucking fix.”
“Your PTSD.”
“I don’t fucking have-“
“Ben, I could feel it. It’s dangerous. I could fix it.” You take a deep breath. “I can fix internal injuries as well. I offered to fix Kimiko’s muteness, but she didn’t want me to do it.”
“Then what fucking makes you think-“
“Muteness isn’t dangerous. And it would’ve been harder for me, I might have ended up mute myself. You’re dangerous like this. You can’t fucking control it, and don’t try and lie and say it’s under control. Ashley mentioned putting you back under, and you looked like someone was drowning you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Sunshine.” He leers at you. “You don’t fucking know me, know what it was like-“
“I do. You know I do.” You whisper, and the anger on his face breaks. “More than anyone else, I know. I can fix it, but you’ll have to let me. Just-“ You search his eyes, not sure what you’re looking for. “Just think about it. I won’t mention it again, I won’t even touch you, but my offer will stay on the table. Please, just think about it.”
Before you can leave, he grabs your hand. A rush of painful exhaustion runs through you, and there’s anger, but it’s not full of the fervor you’ve come to expect from him. It’s not even at you. It’s wide and almost consuming, leaving room for only a small kernel of something fragile and warm.
“I don’t care if you keep touching me, Sunshine. I've go nothing to hide from you, and that’s not going to change. But there’s nothing in me you need to fucking fix, so don’t fucking bother.”
“I’m not trying to fix you, Ben,” You murmur. "But remember, you burn, I burn. Please don't burn." Your last words are soft, and the kernel pulses.
“Good,” he grunts, releasing your arm. A small smirk crawls onto his face. “Now I don’t care if it’s here or in your room, Sunshine, but you need to go the fuck to bed. You look like shit.”
Just as he says it, the full weight of your fatigue hits you. You give a mumbled acknowledgement of his words, and try to leave the room, but all the adrenaline is gone from your system and nothing is left to stop the failure of your legs or droop of your eyes. The last thing you feel is something pulling you up before your knees hit the carpet, the last thing you see is green eyes on your own, and you hear an amused snort from above you.
“Goodnight, Sunshine. Try not to dream about me.”
You try to object, but sleep pulls you under before you can even remember why you need to.
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miniwheat77 · 1 year ago
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Shakin’ (Ghost x Reader.)
!I aged Simon up a bit for this chapter. He’s around 44. Smut, unprotected p in v sex, (wrap it up-_-) military talk, teasing, you know the drill babes, absolutely NO MINORS, enjoy!
(Bc I bet Simon totally listened to Eddie Money when he was a teen XD. Obvi my song inspo is Shakin’ by Eddie Money.)
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At this point, everything he did was routine. 141 had Simon busy most of the time so he didn’t spend too much time off base anymore. He had nothing better to do, the most exciting thing he did was stop by a bar with Johnny and Price. That was it. A round of new recruits were coming and this was always the hardest part, getting used to the newbies. Because some of them were insufferable. Ghost liked to be left alone. But the new recruits were always all over him. Trying to make friends and be nice and ask for advice which he didn’t mind, not at all. But sometimes he’d just want to be left alone.
For some reason, there weren’t many women on base. Aside from a couple that didn’t work out for… inappropriate reasons. There was no one but Laswell around.
“Ghost.” The scot accent pierces his ears and he turns to see Soap approaching with a girl by his side. “This is Y/N. She’s one of the new recruits.” He tilts his head to you. Ghost nods his head. “Hi.” You send a small wave his way. “Hey.” He says. “See, he doesn’t bite.” Soap laughs. “No, but I might.” You smile. Your sly smile pierces Simon right to his core, a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time. As you walked away with Johnny, he wondered what the hell that was.
He didn’t know it, but it was the start of something special.
You settle in pretty quickly and Ghost sees how well you and Johnny get along together. He sees the both of you together quite often. Ghost worried about him catching feelings for you, and having you turn out to be like every other girl that’s come onto this base. A barracks bunny.
His worries all came to an end when he watched you resist every guy on base. Seriously, they’ll hit on you while you’re sitting across from the both of them and you’ll have to spin around and tell them to piss off.
You’re usually eating, listening to something Soap is saying and someone will walk up behind you and start trying to flirt with you. He can see the immediate anger on your face, wanting to be left alone.
Something Ghost didn’t expect is the both of you to start spending time together. Without Johnny around. You were a productive soldier. Always offering to help, always busy doing something around the base. You hardly ever complained about something and when you did it’s usually because you hurt in some kind of way. Which he understood all too well. You always offered to help him with anything he was doing. Jumping right up when he was going to do some heavy lifting. So the two of you started hanging out and doing those things together like it was second nature. A routine. Ghost started catching feelings for you pretty quickly and he tried to avoid it.
Especially after he found out how young you were.
You followed him out to load up the Humvee, and you spoke about your parents. Something about the age of your mum made Simon perk up. “Wait. How old are you?” He asks. You smile. “Why you want to know?” You smirk. “Because it sounds like your mum is about the same age as me and that means you’re really young.” He freezes up. “Yeah, I’m 21.” His eyes widen. “Jesus Christ. You do not look that young. You’re really mature for your age.” He mumbles, tossing a box into the back of the Humvee. He hears you chuckle. “Yeah, I get that a lot. But.. age doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.” The slyness of your words have the hair on his neck standing up. “Yeah right, I’m old enough to be your dad.” He rolls his eyes.
You set a box down, only maybe a foot away from him. “Doesn’t scare me.” You smile. Stepping away from him. What exactly did you mean by that? Were you… flirting with him?
“Rosanna’s daddy had a car she loved to drive.” You mumble out the lyrics as you pass by Ghost. You don’t see him yet but he’s there. As soon as those lyrics hit his ears, he smiles. Reminding him of when he was a teenager, being crazy. Something he didn’t seem to think about too often anymore. “Stole the keys one night and took me for a ride.”
“Fuck.” You mutter as the box splits open, the contents of it falling out the bottom. Ghost steps out of the darkness. “What you singing there sweetheart?”
You jump when you hear him behind. “Jesus Christ.” You breathe. Tugging an earbud out of one of your ears. “Gave me a heart attack.” You laugh. Theres something inside of him brewing. Looking at you now, he knows there’s no going back.
He can only pray Johnny has no feelings for you, because there’s no going back. “Price told me to get you and check out some surrounding areas. Take the Humvee.” He nods. “Really?” You ask. He nods his head, lying through his teeth. What Price doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
He could still hear your music through your earbuds.
“Turned up the music just as loud as it could go, blew out the speakers in her daddy’s radio. She was shakin’” he smiles. “Eddie Money ah?” He asks. Hearing you laugh.
“Of course.”
“Snappin her fingers, she was movin’ round and round. That girl was shakin’”
“Come on, let’s go.” He helps you put everything back into the box, telling you to worry about it later. When you get inside the Humvee, he snags one of the earbuds from you. Sliding it into his ear. He pulls out of the garage. He could get in so much trouble over this, but can’t remember the last time he’s done something this crazy. You haven’t done anything and you’ve already lit a fire inside of him.
“We started drinkin’ wasn’t thinking too straight. She was doing 80 and she slammed on the breaks. Got so high we had to pull to the side. We did some shakin’ til the middle of the night.”
He reaches his hand across the middle, resting it on your thigh. You tense up immediately, turning to look at him. “Ghost.. what are you doing?” You ask. His hand glides further up, and he hears you gasp. “Simon-“ you laugh.
“Shakin’, snappin’ her fingers. She was up and down and round and round. Shakin’”
“Cmere baby, sit in my lap.” He forces you over onto him, facing the steering wheel. You can feel his bulge against your ass. You twist around in his lap. Straddling him and keeping your face tucked into his neck so that he can see. He groans as you start attacking his neck. Sucking and biting at his skin. “Fuck.” He mutters under his breath. “Drive me fucking crazy.” He hisses.
“I got a little nervous. She took her coat off. She looked so pretty, ah yeah.”
He takes in a deep breath as you reach for his cargo pants. “Focus on the road. Don’t kill us.” You laugh. “Fuck- doing my best.” He laughs. You unzip his pants, tugging his cock through the hole in his boxers until you could see it. Taking a deep breath. You wiggle your own cargo pants down, off of one leg, freeing up your hips, you straddle him.
“I’m always talkin’ baby, talkin’ too much. I love that little girl and I just can’t get enough. It takes a lonely night with nowhere to go, just call Rosanna and it’s a hell of a show.
And she’s shakin’”
A hiss leaves his lips as he grips your hips with his rough hands. You swallow him up, sliding down onto him. He’s driving fast, way faster than he should. But he’s so fired up from you, he can’t help it. It’s fucking thrilling. Your skin is soft compared to his calloused hands. He grits his teeth, muscles tightening in his body as you slide down around him. Clutching onto him like a glove. The music is loud, nearly hurting your ears as you rock your hips into him. “Fuck- fucking hell you’re a minx.” Simon grits his teeth harder, gripping onto you and rocking his hips up to meet yours. He presses his foot into the gas harder, thanking whatever god is out there that this road is empty.
The pleasure is white hot, wrapping around the base of his spine and working its way up. You make him feel young again, like a crazy teenager. You attack his neck, you’re loud and you can’t help it as you ride him, raising yourself up onto him and moving back down. Riding him like your life depends on it. Chasing after that high. You bury your face into the crook of his neck, crying out. You gasp out when he slams onto the breaks, pulling over onto the side of the road. He forces you to look at him after he throws it into park. He grips your hips tightly, thrusting up into you. “Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.” He growls. He grasps the bottom of his balaclava, tugging it over his head. He grips your chin, pulling you in to kiss him. You’re whining as he fucks up into you.
The windows are starting to fog up, your bodies are sweaty as they move against each other. He feels hot, fully dressed. Feelings just how hot the two of you have made it in the car. The fat of your hips clutched hard between his massive hands. Making you feel small as he fills you up. You stare him in the eyes, keeping eye contact. You smile, making him narrow his eyes. “What?” He asks. “Do I intimidate you Simon?” You smile. He shakes his head. “What are you talking about?”
“You seemed intimidated by me flirting with you.” You wrap your arms around his neck, rocking into him. He’s panting almost. “Just not used to it. Usually it’s the other way around. I’m supposed to intimidate you.” He laughs. Clutching onto the seat of the Humvee. “Fuck- you’re getting me close sweetheart.” He grits his teeth. “Me too.” You breathe, adjusting yourself one last time. He tilts his head back against the seat and you lean in, biting down on his throat, feeling his pulse against your tongue. His breaths pick up. He’s getting close, you can tell. He wraps his arms around your waist and holds you tight. Thrusting up into you. “Fuck- fuck baby. I’m gonna cum.” He gasps. His eyes roll back and his lips part. He gasps, hips jerking up into you. Your eyes narrow shut, closing tight. That knot forming in your belly. The warmth of him sends you over the edge, crying out into the crook of his neck. He holds you tight to him like you’ll fall apart if he lets go.
Your thighs shake as he adjusts you in his lap. “You did so good.” He breathes. “Such a good girl for me.” He breathes. He hears you laugh into him. “Fuck. We’re gonna be in so much trouble when we get back.” You mumble against him. “Yeah, probably.”
“One more, make it worth our while?” He smirks. You glide your tongue over your bottom lip. “Let me restart the song.” You giggle.
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forsworned · 1 year ago
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⠀⠀⠀˗ˏˋsexy stretching ft. johnny 'soap' mactavishˎˊ˗
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꒰ঌa/n໒꒱ not my normal content but i told u guys i'd be doing whatever tf i want on this blog now, no longer putting limitations on what i feel like writing. enjoy for any fans of soap :) (edit: i went back and used a eng to scot slang traslator to make it a bit more accurate lmfaooo, so i hope that kinda helps)
꒰warning(s)heavily suggestive꒱
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Trips to the gym on your days off were routine and habitual, nobody to join your sessions which was your own doing. It felt distracting to have a gym partner. if you needed to be spotted, you'd just ask the nearest soldier. Simple. No fuss, no muss. This time, however, Soap had decided that he wanted to yoke in on your excursion to the facility. 
"C'mon, ye never lemme join." He whined, as he paced behind you trying to match up to your quick stride. Always in a hurry, always with purpose.
You exhaled softly through your nostrils as you peered over at his sheepish grin and stopped in front of him. He looked absolutely mouth-watering in his white compression short sleeve tee that carved into every muscle of his body and hugged his delicious arms, his dark grey 5in shorts clung to his slutty waist that he paired with a matching set of compression shorts that peaked underneath. "I never let anyone join me."
"Sae, lemme be th' first." He beamed, adjusting the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder. You could only roll your eyes as you silently agreed and he could honestly jump for joy at this point. There was no use in telling declining him because he wouldn't shut up about it until you did anyways. It wasn't that you couldn't say no to him, but something about the way he would flash you that cute grin, thick dark lashes that framed his cerulean eyes that didn't allow room for a 'no' from you. Some part of you felt like Johnny knew that. Using his charm and witty, suggestive comments to win you over. It wasn't hard, like, at all.
You dropped your duffel bag with an unceremious thud and began your stretches, Soap mimicking your every move. Another huff left your lips.
His dimples deepened as he chuckled. "What? We're s’pose t’be partners."
"Alright, jeez..." You ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed a mat and set it on the ground. "Make yourself useful and help me stretch my legs out then."
He eagerly agreed as he sat on the opposite side of you to begin your high kicker's stretch, spreading your legs in a 90 degree angle with your feet pressing against his. You quirked a brow at him with amusement at his less than 90 degree angle leg spread. "Is that as far as you can go?"
He scoffed. "Listen, ‘m not flexible lik' ye. Ye'r a lass."
"That's sexist."
"That's basic anatomy."
You gave him a wicked grin before using your foot to extend his stretch, which earned a very satisfying yelp from him. "Get flexible, Sergeant."
Regardless of the dirty look he shot you, he offered out both of his hands to begin your portion of the stretch and if you hadn't been so damn limber it would've definitely cost you some PT time.
"Damn, [name], y’r flexible as hell." Surprise and admiration in his tone as he reclined your form to the fullest extent. The tip of your nose reaching the mat. He felt like he was simulating a slinky. 
"I know." You rise up from your position as he relinquishes you to switch. "Your turn." You gave him the most sinister, spine-shudder inducing grin before clasping onto his hands and extending him beyond his own limits. His breath caught in his throat for a moment preparing himself for the most asshole-tearing, toe curling stretch of his life. He couldn't even make out a word. Just a single droplet of sweat hitting the mat that had sent you into a fit of laughter.
"…jesus pumpin' christ…[name]. I think ye might've torn me a new arsehole." He groaned, as he started to feel the burn.
"Well, these are the consequences of being my gym partner. Gotta get you right." A smug expression on your face as you observed sweat forming on the base of his neck, soaking the neckline of his Under Armor compression tee. 
He chuckled. "Dinnae git a' sly wi' me, [last name]."
"Or what? You're in quite a compromising position, Johnny." You emphasized his nickname in a taunting manner that made the grin on his face spread. 
"I'll show y’ a compromising position." He muttered under his breath.
"Say again?" 
He mumbled a 'nothin' that you mentally noted but didn't argue with. You were merciful enough to slowly let him out of the painful position you placed him in and a sigh of relief escaped his lips. You surveyed him behind your hydroflask as he reached for his hand towel and patted himself down. "Breakin' a sweat, already?"
He flashed you a mischevious grin. "You're gonnae sloch yer words, Sergeant."
You simply ignored his remark as you laid your back against the mat, his strong hands gently grasping at your ankle was only a ruse in comparison to the painstakingly slow, burning stretch that he was inflicting on you. It illicited a small yet entirely involuntarily breathy moan that passed your parted glossed lips with brows that furrowed in an almost all too lewd manner. He hadn't noticed that his crotch was positioned right at your middle and you felt his hardness press up against you. Tension seemed like it saturated the gym air even through the heavily ventaliation. You couldn't help but feel flustered as warmth spread not only to your cheeks but to your groin. As you attempted to sit up from your position, Johnny held you still. "Hips down, Sergeant."
Body rigid and eyes wide as he proudly knelt over you, towering over your form. Primal instincts were nearly about to take over as he admired the way you were beginning to break a sweat. His hands firm on your ankle as he shifted his bodyweight onto you once more, a small huff leaving your mouth not going unnoticed by his curious gaze. He peeked at you under heavy, dark lashes as he keenly observed the way your body shuddered, now convulsing against the mat and his pressed form. Paltry, muffled  whines stumbled out of your mouth completely against your will as he stretched your leg past its original limit. He was practically splitting in you half as he urged his half-chub against your clothed sex. It wasn't difficult to note through the thin cloth of your leggings.
"Tha’s a deep stretch, lassie. Ye sure ye kin handle it?" His Scottish accent was sexy and breathy as if he was in you, stretching your walls. The question didn't feel like it was concerning the calf stretch anymore. 
One too many shaky exhales and a few more drops of sweat later, you could finally muster a, 'yes'. A shit-eating grin spread across his lips and you could only curse him in your mind. No, no, not under your breath. You were now in the compromising position that he was muttering about just a few moments ago. You could curse yourself for allowing him to tag along with you.  Damn him. 
He unwillingly tore his gaze from you for a moment when the realization of you two being out in public dawned upon him, but as he scouted the area it was minimal and still. Only a few soldiers were on the floor, completely zoned in on their own workouts and spread far away from you two. Far enough from any prying eyes and his hungry expression went right back to you, eyeing you like you were mere prey. "Jus’ tell me when." He murmured, elongating your leg even further down and you could look at him with scrutinized eyes as another whine passed and a shudder went up your body. Johnny loved the way you gazed up at him. Lips agape as you struggled for breath, drool slighting the corner of your lips, knowing that at any moment you said anything but, 'yes, sir', or 'no, sir' would end up with nothing but torturous pain. 
But you liked that. You liked, loved even, the way he pushed all your buttons without fail. Helpless and bashful under him. An unsteady breath left his lips as he focused on you and the way your body contorted so sapidly for him.
So, so dirty. He thought to himself. His eyes studying the way you swallowed hard. He wanted to taunt you even more, but Johnny decided to be clement as he relinquished you slowly allowing you to breathe again. You drew a large, labored breath as you sat up not able to look his way as he chuckled at you. 
"You're an asshole." You hissed, as you took a large swig of your drink nearly feeling like you were going to choke from how fast your heart was beating.
"'n' ye liked it." He raised his brows at you, imitating your gesture and taking a sip of his own drink. You averted your gaze, feeling your cheeks warm as he chuckled at your embarrassment. Johnny absolutely adored teasing you, and you welcomed it. 
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multiheadcanons · 11 days ago
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TF2 MERCS DRIVING
scout: scout is actually one of the better drivers. undistracted, and he will lecture anyone who attempts to take his eyes off the road. knows stick shift because soldier taught him how to drive stick shift because “men know stick shift”. however, he doesn’t have his license, so he is legally not allowed to drive for Mann Co. for whatever reason, THAT rule is the one they follow.
soldier: he’s…. definitely capable of driving. nobody would willingly ask him to drive anything that handles better than a campbells soup can, the dogshit cars always act so well maintained with him. he eats at mario kart tho. he’s allowed one (1) shitty car that doesn’t even turn over unless he’s the one with the key in hand. if you ask him about how he happens to start the car he says “just jiggle it!”
pyro: will eat up a vespa. wants so badly to drive a fire truck. can’t for obvious reasons. also eats at mario kart.
engineer: a GREAT driver until you get him on the back roads. then it’s “darlin’, i’ve been driving on texas roads longer than you could see above the wheel, i got this” while your drink is splashing onto your shirt and you’re holding onto the the car handles for dear life and it seems like he’s actively going out of his way to hit every single pot hole and whooping like he’s a kid jesus fucking christ—
heavy: also a great driver! does his best driving on snowy roads, and will not drive a car not within legal parameters. he refuses to allow sascha to be taken because of something as silly as the insurance. easily distracted on the roads though, does better with a passenger princess taking care of directions. brakes for critters, brakes harder for road rage. he does love a good fight.
demo: a bad driver with a lead foot. treats the actual roads like mario kart. he’s also not allowed in the drivers seat of the company cars. that’s why he’s the main user of the teleporters. he uses his turn signals though, and frankly he thinks that’s all that should matter. once tailgated heavy so hard that heavy pulled over and as demo got out, fully ready to fight, and made eye contact with heavy he jumped back in his car and sped off. that was a sobering experience. heavy still laughs about it though.
medic: please do not ask this man to drive. he will be making calls, eating, drinking, changing the radio station, yelling at everyone in the backseat who’s “distracting him”, swerving in and out of lanes, using his knees to keep the wheel straight so he can clap to whatever music he decides on, and if you try to call him out on it, this fucker… this fucker scoffs. “don’t be a baby! i’ve been driving longer than i haven’t been driving, i am a wonderful driver!” with road rage to boot. he is not in his lane half the time. the last time he was allowed to drive for the company he also got into it with heavy. he’s the only one who didn’t get back in his car, but he did apologize. he will fight anyone who asks to fight on the roads, he will race anyone who asks to race. it’s lawless country. sighs about the autobahn often.
sniper: a good enough, responsible enough driver, because he’s the only one (aside from soldier…. technically….) with his own van to maintain. he will never let anyone else in the car if he’s in the car; he has no interest in letting people find out if he’s a good driver or not because his van is his sanctuary and that means everyone else get out. spends most of his time in his van anyway. doesn’t like sedans. does have a habit of tailgating people, and if you are allowed the rare opportunity to be in the vehicle with him and say something about it he’ll go “oh! am i? i’ll stop, thanks for letting me know mate” and then you will never be allowed in the car again. only thing he hates more than passengers are backseat drivers. he will tailgate whoever he wants to. fuck off. has also tailgated heavy so hard heavy pulled over to fight him, and he also got immediately back in his car and waved him off with an appeasing smile. heavy laughs about that too.
spy: you ever wanted to feel like you’re the worst driver in the world? get in a car with spy. feels like james bond. drives with no music, and one of the few times he won’t smoke. feels like an uber frfr. please do not speak to him when he’s driving, he would like to forget about the life he’s actively living and you are a part of that. makes a KILLER getaway car driver. prompt, punctual, professional. won’t drive anything without window tints.
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zepskies · 1 year ago
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Love Actually - Part 2
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Paring: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader
Summary: You and Ben steel yourselves in order to meet your crazy family for Christmas dinner.
AN: Here’s the requested Part 2! It got too long, so I had to break it up lol. There will be a Part 3 after this (final part). I also tried really hard to find an image/gif that would match this chapter better, but alas, there are only so many pictures of this scruffy guy. (And none in a real suit. 😂)
Read Part 1
Remember, this story is set in the same world as “Break Me Down,” and set before “Checkerboard.” But this can be read as a stand-alone! Hope you enjoy…
Word Count: 4,800 Tags/Warnings: Tense situations, bit of angst, lots of sexy fluff
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Part 2: "Season’s Greetings"
Ben checked his watch again. 
He’d lost count of how many times, how many minutes, how long he’d been waiting for you to come down the goddamn stairs so he could get this night over with. 
You’d been getting ready for this dinner with your family for four hours. How long did it take you to slap on some makeup and throw on a dress?
Finally, he heaved a sigh and got up from the couch, adjusting the watch on his wrist. He stayed by the foot of the stairs and called up to you.
“Hey. What’s taking so damn long?” he asked. His brows were furrowed, mouth set in an aggravated frown. “I already told you. I’m not planning on being at this thing all night. So if you don’t come down here in the next ten minutes, I swear to fucking Christ—” 
Ben stopped short, as he heard your footsteps at the top of the stairs. When he looked up with expectant, pursed lips, his face subtly froze. 
“What? What’re you gonna do?” you teased. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you grasped the guardrail and carefully made your way down the stairs. These heels were no joke. 
You had a black suede clutch tucked in your other hand, but Ben was drawn to the bright red of your dress. The color alone appealed to him. It called back a memory of a musty club, rich whiskey, and the dulcet tones of your voice.
But now, this dress was shorter. It also hugged your every curve and stopped just a few inches above the knee. He noticed a tantalizing little slit in the back, at the hem, leading his eyes down your sheer pantyhose and down to the tall, black heels.
His lips formed a teasing smile. “You sure you can walk in those?” 
But you could see the truth in his eyes; he liked what he saw. They raked back up your body, taking in the short sleeves, the slight plunge of the neckline, the red lipstick as bright as your dress, the soft sweep of eyeliner and dark lashes—and you hoped he noticed the way you’d painstakingly done your hair into soft, ‘40s style waves.
“Do I look shaky to you?” you countered.
Ben tilted his head slightly as he stared up at you. “Not one bit.”
He reached out for you on the last step of the stairs. You took his hand and gave him a grateful look, but your hand didn’t stop there. It grazed up the sleeve of his suit jacket as you took him in with a smile.
Not often one to don a simple black suit, Ben went with a charcoal gray against a crisp black undershirt. No tie though, leaving the first couple of buttons casually open. 
“Look at my man, all sharp and modern and sexy as hell,” you purred. He accepted the praise with a pleased quirk of his lips. 
Normally you wouldn’t try to feed his peacock-level pride too much. He knew he was a damn fine-looking man. However, you also knew he wasn’t totally into meeting the rest of your family tonight. You knew you needed to give him a (well earned) ego boost.
“Gotta match my girl,” said Ben. Though he fingered the ends of your softly curled hair with a more genuine glint to his smile. “Though you’ve gone a bit vintage.”
“Compromise.” You grinned, and you leaned up for a soft kiss. 
He met you there, even pressing his luck when his tongue begged entrance against your lips. You held his cheek and brushed your thumb there tenderly, but you soon broke away. 
“We’ve got somewhere to be,” you reminded him. Ben sighed through his nose, though his hands molded to your waist.  
“I didn’t realize you were that kinky,” he said. His voice was deep and suggestive. Your face started to heat up, even as your brows knitted with confusion.
“What?” you asked. 
“I know you’re not gonna make me wait all night to get a taste of this,” he said. And he leaned down to begin plying you with his heavy hands and his lips along your neck. “I gotta assume you want me to fuck you in your mom’s house.”
You uttered a shocked laugh. You batted his shoulder, even though it didn’t even make him blink. His lips curved as they grazed your neck. He inhaled under your ear, making a pleasant shudder run down your spine. He hummed in approval.
“Is that the perfume I got you?” he asked. 
“Mhmm,” you nodded. “I like it a lot. Makes me feel all warm and spicy.”
Ben chuckled into your neck. He did pull back eventually to thumb around the edge of one of your earrings—the second part of his Christmas gift to you. The white stone and silver filigree shone in the light. 
“They look good,” he remarked, giving you a charming smile. “Better on you than the catalogue girl.”
Now that was an image. Soldier Boy: browsing through a magazine of women’s jewelry. You smiled brightly at him. 
“Thank you, baby,” you replied. “They really are beautiful.”
Then you glanced down to find your gift to him on his wrist: a new silver Rolex. You turned his hand over to make sure that it fit him right.
“Not too tight, right? Not too loose.” you asked.
He shook his head. “Nah, it’s good.”
“Just good? Does it still need adjusting? We can go back to the store and have them fix it—”
“It’s perfect, sweetheart. Stop fussing,” he said. Your lips pursed as you looked up at him from the watch. 
“I just want to make sure you’re happy with it, that’s all,” you said. 
“I am,” he replied. But his smile, the hidden glint of something in his eyes, made you blush. Inside, you were warm and pleased.  
“All right, let’s go then,” you said. “I’ve got the rum cake, and the actual rum ready to go in the kitchen. And the presents are lined up by the door. Can you load those up in the car for me while I get the food?”
Ben obliged you, though he soon balked at the army of presents waiting for him by the door. When did you have time to get all of these? He didn’t remember you buying all this shit. 
Though he realized, this must’ve been how you filled your time after work, while he was gone for the past two weeks on that mission. 
As he loaded the gifts into the car, Ben reluctantly remembered that it had been…strange, to be away from you. For the past few months, you two had fallen into a rhythm. Waking up to each other, busy morning routines before work, sharing your evenings afterwards. 
You had also been making it your mission to find new things to do together. Like paintballing, of all things. Or comedy shows, new movies and restaurants, concerts, club nights with your friends. Though it was weird for him, sometimes, to go to a show without all the celebrity fanfare he used to get as Soldier Boy.    
Well, he was still Soldier Boy. He just wasn’t getting paid anywhere near the same as he used to. (But let’s face it, he didn’t need the damn money. He’d earned plenty in 40 years of fame and family inheritance.) 
People still knew his name, still worshiped him at times, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t part of Vought’s machine anymore. No one really told him what to do, but if he wanted this life—here, in upstate New York—he was forced to make efforts to color within the lines of the law (mostly). Hell, he actually worked for a living. Even if it was for the government.  
The point was, he was part of something. And it wasn’t totally shit, even if he was surrounded by morons on a daily basis…  
By the time you opened the passenger side door to interrupt his musings, Ben remembered to actually start the car. 
“You okay?” you asked as you clicked in your seatbelt. You were keeping a close eye on him tonight, trying to gauge his shifting moods. 
Ben hesitated, but when he glanced over at you, he reached over and thumbed at your chin, under those ruby red lips. It made you smile. 
“Yeah,” he replied. Though he let out a subtle breath as he faced the road and took the wheel of the car. Ever perceptive though, you sent him an assessing look. 
“You’re not nervous, are you?” you asked. His brows furrowed slightly.
“Why would I be?” he asked, his voice a bit sharp. Defensive, you interpreted. 
Instead of answering, you leaned over and laid a hand on his thigh.
“Look, my mom already likes you. Louisa’s going to come around,” you said. Your mouth edged into a smile, of sorts. “I just need you to stop me from killing my aunt with a ladle.” 
Ben snorted in response. “All right.”
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When the two of you arrived at your mother’s house, she opened the door to her home and greeted your boyfriend like a long-lost son. 
“Oh, Ben! Come in, please,” she beckoned, grabbing his arm and guiding him inside. “You look so handsome, my goodness!” 
Ben couldn’t help offering a smile. It was infused with his usual charm. 
“Marie,” he greeted with a nod. You shook your head, despite your own smile. Ben liked attention—along with a bit of praise and fanfare went without saying. And you knew your mom wouldn’t be the only one to play into that tonight. 
“Hi, Mom,” you said pointedly, with a hand on your hip. Marie turned to you with a bright smile. 
“Oh! Honey, there you are. Merry Christmas!” She brought you in and hugged you tight. She then fairly gushed as she took in your dress and touched your hair. “Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish you’d come earlier though. I need you to help me and Trina. Come on.”
Marie glanced up at Ben again. “Oh, you too, hun! We can introduce you to everyone.”
Ben nodded. He followed your lead behind your mother, and you inwardly steeled yourself on the way to the kitchen. The familiar smells awaiting you brought you back to the better parts of your childhood. Ones that were filled with music, laughs, and good food.    
And if there was one redeeming quality about your Aunt Trina, it was that she could cook her ass off. Since your mom had always been more of the “boxed meal” variety cook, Trina always took over at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and just about every other family gathering. 
She was putting the ham in the oven while your sister sat at the kitchen table with your Grandpa George, peeling potatoes. The bigger table in the dining room was currently set up with appetizers and wine. 
But the sounds of chatter and pots and pans and cabinets closing—it all stopped when you and Ben entered the kitchen. You felt his hand at the small of your back, and whether he meant it to or not, that familiar touch stabilized you. 
Even Trina stopped giving Louisa directions on how to correctly peel and cut the potatoes for boiling. Her mouth opened when she took in the sight of Ben, from head to toe. 
“Good evening,” he said, if only to break the silence. 
But you knew the rest was up to you. You curled a hand around his solid arm and gave him a smile, before looking to your family. 
“Hey, guys. Merry Christmas!” you greeted. “This is my boyfriend, Ben.”
Trina squealed in excitement. She came over (with a wooden spoon in hand) to give you an enthusiastic hug and kiss. She held your arms and looked between you and Ben. 
“Your mom said you were dating a superhero, but I had no idea…” she twittered. “I mean…it’s Soldier Boy. He’s in my kitchen!” 
“It’s Mom’s kitchen, actually,” you muttered. Trina’s excitement dimmed slightly as she rolled her eyes at you.
“Ever the smart mouth,” she said, playfully whacking you in the ass with her spoon. 
Ben smirked. He certainly agreed with your aunt’s assessment. He turned to her to offer something in greeting, but before he could, Louisa’s voice cut in from across the room. 
“What should we call you? Ben, or Soldier Boy?” she asked dryly. 
You frowned, gave your sister a look. Meanwhile, Ben didn’t quite make it to a smile, but he was civil when he answered her. 
“Ben’s fine.”
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You remained in the kitchen to help out, while Ben migrated to the living room with your grandfather. Ben grabbed a large glass of wine on his way there, along with a few mini quiche to tide him over until dinner. 
He then noticed an old woman sleeping on the leather recliner. 
“Who’s that?” he asked George. 
“Oh, that’s Great Aunt Sylvia,” George said. “She just took an oxy for her hip. She’ll be passed out ‘til dinner.”  
Ben blinked at the casual mention of oxycodone, but he wouldn’t mind a few of what Sylvia was having. Oxy gave him such a nice buzz. 
But instead, he and George sat on opposite ends of the couch while Sylvia snored away. 
For a moment, it was quiet, save for the soft crooning of Nat King Cole playing (and Sylvia). The music came from a small round speaker on the coffee table, Ben noticed. You’d told him about Alexa and Siri and all those techno bitches out there now, controlling people’s houses. He didn’t trust it. 
“You like baseball?” George asked as he turned on the TV. Ben nodded, and the other man put on a game. Mets versus the Cubs, three to one. The men were silent for a while as they watched the game. 
Unfortunately for Ben, that peace couldn’t last. 
“So,” George started. “You’re a supe, huh?”
Ben inclined his head, sipping at his wine. This was what he fucking hated. Small talk. 
“I remember you,” George said. “My wife and I liked that movie you made…King of Kings. With Charlton Heston. What a classic that guy was.”
Ben smiled. “He was a good time. Drank like a fucking fish.”
George raised a brow. “Did he? Well, we all need a glass every now and then.”
Ben nodded, taking a pointed sip of his wine. 
“Heston. One of the few celebrities I gave a shit about when he died,” George said with a shake of his head. “Wasn’t long before my wife’s passing.”
You’d told Ben a lot about your grandmother. When your parents got divorced, she’d insisted that you, your mom, and your sister live with her and George. She didn’t want to take any chances with your dad, who’d been more than unstable at the time in his drinking. 
Ben didn’t often pray. But he drank then with a silent toast, that good ole’ Jon was getting hot coals up the ass right about now. In hell.
Ben then considered your grandfather’s musings, realizing he hadn’t thought about his old pal Heston in a long time.  
“How’d he die?” Ben asked. George glanced over at him.
“Well, official case was pneumonia. But it wasn’t all that clear,” he said. “However, I think he had a flare up.”
“Of what?” Ben asked.
George gave him a wry look. “The fate that all men fear. Ass cancer.”
Ben raised a brow, his mouth twitching. He had a feeling he knew where your sense of humor came from. 
“You probably don’t have to worry about that,” George waved a dismissive hand. “You’re still young. Well, sort of…I mean, being superhuman and all that. I’m sure that comes in handy with the normal stuff, like the sniffles and whatnot…and hey! At least you won’t have to worry about your asshole fallin’ out.”
Ben actually smiled. Now he knew you were related to this man. 
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In the kitchen, you were trying and failing to dodge a game of “Twenty Questions” with your aunt, while you and your sister finished cutting potatoes. All of the questions were predictably centered around Ben. Luckily, you had a plate of mini quiche, cheese, and salami between you and Louisa to keep you pacified. 
“Well, you’ve done well for yourself, I’ll give you that,” Trina said. “But why on God’s green Earth didn’t you tell us you were dating Soldier Boy? How the hell did you even meet him?”
Shit. There was more than one reason you hadn’t told the rest of your family yet, and this was partly it. How the hell were you supposed to explain this? 
Louisa shot you a knowing look, along with a raised brow. 
“Well, I was actually assigned to find him after he…went missing last year,” you said, keeping things purposefully vague. “We met and…things just kind of took off from there.”
Your mom and your sister didn’t even know all the details, but they knew this much. After Soldier Boy used his nuclear power to end Homelander, he’d escaped in the aftermath. 
You’d been working a year in Surveillance at Supe Affairs, but you’d been a private investigator by trade, previously working at your father’s firm. You’d even worked at Vought for a few years, before joining the S.A. 
You were then recruited by Grace Mallory to track down Soldier Boy, along with Butcher and his team. 
…And that’s where things got complicated. 
“But isn’t Soldier Boy the one who killed Homelander?” Trina asked. She stopped in her stirring of the cranberry sauce to look back at you. And you met her stare directly. 
“Yes. He was partnered with the CIA on that.” Sort of. You added, “Homelander wasn’t the hero you all thought you knew, remember? He was a raging psychopath.”
Trina huffed at that. 
“So was your father. And you still worked with him for years,” she remarked, even off-handedly as she went back to stirring.
Your entire body stilled. Inside, your temper was a lit fuse, preparing to ignite. You stuffed a mini quiche into your mouth to stop you from exploding. 
And your mom and your sister recognized the danger. Louisa frowned tightly and touched your arm. 
She had been too young to form a true relationship with your father by the time your parents were divorced, and your grandparents (and later you) hadn’t allowed Jon to interfere too much with Louisa's life. So Jon’s death, a mere seven months ago, hadn’t truly affected her as deeply as it had you. 
And that in itself was complicated. 
Marie paused in preparing the sweet potato casserole to give her sister a warning look. 
“Trina, that’s not fair,” said Marie. 
Your aunt shrugged. “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
Slowly, you stood. You grabbed a hand towel and brushed the velvety remains of potato skin from your hands. You also took the plate of cheese cubes and salami with you. 
“Honey, she just means—” 
“I know what she meant, Mom,” you said. Your mother wasn’t confrontational. She would never tell her sister to shut the fuck up when she was being out of pocket. 
But you had no problem doing so. You walked over to Trina, who saw the look in your eye and actually relented, realizing that there was, in fact, a line, and she had crossed it. 
“Look, I’d like us to continue having a nice evening,” you told her. “Mention my father again, and it won’t be.” 
After a moment, Trina nodded. 
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t mind me,” she said. But then, she smiled. “I’m really happy for you, sweetheart. You’ve got a superhero! Who knew you’d pull that one off, huh?”
Your flat smile remained. “Oh, yeah? How do you mean?” 
Trina faltered. Apparently, she hadn’t expected that. 
“Oh. Well, you know…”
“No. I really don’t. Can you clarify for me?” you asked, using the same even tone you employed with testy co-workers on the Surveillance team. 
Trina sighed. “Oh, honey. You’re a beautiful girl, but…”
“What?” you challenged. “Just say it.”
Behind Trina’s coil of dark hair piled on her head, Marie looked worried. Louisa was also on tenterhooks, gripping the kitchen table. She slowly got to her feet though, in case she needed to intervene. 
“Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Trina said. She gestured to you, after grabbing a cheese cube off your plate. “But your hips, hun. I mean, I enjoy a snack. A bon bon. A chocolate eclair. The occasional croissant, but the weight don’t come off easier as you get older, does it?” 
You were officially burning like a tea kettle.  
“And with a man like that…” Trina fanned herself with the discarded, empty bag of cranberries. “Mother of God. He’s gotta be beating ‘em off with a fucking stick.” 
Your mom pursed her lips at the salty language, giving Trina a sharp glance (for multiple reasons). 
Trina noticed, but she only popped another piece of salami into her mouth. “Sorry, hun.” 
But then she turned back to you. 
“And have you talked about kids yet? That’ll be some serious weight gain.” 
You let out a sharp breath and raised your gaze heavenward, pleading for mercy. 
“Jesus Christ,” you muttered.  
“I’m just sayin’!” she said. “He might have forever, but you certainly don’t.” 
Now that one struck a nerve. Perhaps not the one she intended, but it cut deeply into you all the same. You and Ben had agreed to pin that conversation for now, but the fact was, he would continue to age much slower than you. 
At your steely glare, Trina again raised her hands. This time in placating defense. “I’m trying to help you, is all I’m saying.” 
You gripped the edge of the kitchen counter so tight you thought a manicured nail might break off. You’d reached the end of your tether. 
“I’ve been here for all of five minutes—” 
“Okay, you know what?” Louisa finally stepped in and grabbed your arm. “I need your help. Let’s find the red tablecloth so we can set the table.”
She led you out of the kitchen and into the hall, but you stopped short so fast that you skidded a bit in your heels. You took deep breaths and braced a hand against the wall.  
You turned to your sister. “Why doesn’t she attack you like that?” 
“Oh, believe me,” Louisa said, rolling her eyes. “I had my turn before you got here. I’ve been locked in with these clucking hens all morning.” 
A grin twitched at the corner of your lips. 
“My condolences,” you said. But then, you look at your sister a bit harder. “And you. What’s your problem, huh? How long are you going to give Ben a hard time?” 
It took her a moment, but Louisa eventually sighed. 
“I mean, Aunt Trina’s an asshole, but she kind of said it. He’s literally a century-years-old,” she said. “How do you not have a problem with that?” 
You crossed your arms, though you knew you didn’t have a good answer for that one. 
“Age is…relative.” You struggled against a wince. 
“He lived through the damn Dust Bowl,” Louisa deadpanned. “He’s fucking ancient.” 
You glared back at her. “Okay, enough. What’s your real problem, huh? I mean really.”
Louisa let out another sigh. Her hands went to her hips. You hadn’t had a chance to tell her, but she looked pretty tonight too in her black dress. It flared at the waist and reached her knees, and she’d paired it with some chunky red heels. She was a little taller than you normally, but not by much. As the older sister, you enjoyed finally being taller than her for once in your higher heels. 
Still, you were annoyed with her right now. You sensed she had something deeper against Ben, and it wasn’t all about his age. When she eventually answered, it just confirmed your suspicions. 
“He’s dangerous,” she said at last. “He’s so fucking dangerous.” 
That disheartened you. Your lips pressed, and you held onto your own arms a bit tighter. 
“Not to me,” you replied. Louisa’s frown deepened as her brows knitted together.
“Especially to you,” she said. “He kidnapped you.” 
You gave a wan smile. “Not technically.” 
That had been one of his subordinates, who’d taken you outside of Ben’s orders…
It was a long and complicated story, but basically, it had worked out for both of you in the end. 
Louisa gave you a more incredulous look. “He’s got an atomic bomb in his chest.” 
“He’s working on controlling it,” you insisted. “He’s gotten a lot better!” 
Louisa threw her hands upward in exasperation and turned to leave you in the hall. You stopped her with a hand on her arm. 
“Look, I get it,” you said, meeting her gaze directly. “You’re worried about me. But here’s the thing…you don’t have to do that. I’m the one who looks out for you, remember?” 
Once again, she frowned at you. “Why, just because you’re older?” 
You gave her a teasing smile. 
“Well, yeah.” Still, you grasped both of her arms, now crossed in front of her chest. “Lou, haven’t I always taken care of you?” 
“Okay, yeah,” she said. “But who takes care of you? Who makes sure you’re all right?” 
You gave her a patient, if knowing look. 
She grimaced. “Oh, don’t you say it.” 
“Honestly, Lou. He does take care of me…he makes me feel safe.” You bit your lip, and your eyes began to well up with the sting of tears, emotion rising in your throat. “I’ve never had that. Ever.” 
Your sister released a heavy sigh. “I know.” 
“Then can you actually try to get to know him? Please?” You rubbed her arms, pleading with your eyes. You wanted your family to like your boyfriend, but it was so much more than that. You didn’t want to have separate worlds. Everyone in this house was part of your family, and that now included Ben.
The longer she looked into your imploring eyes, Louisa’s grimace lightened, just a touch. “I’ll think about it.” 
You smiled then, warmly as you hugged your sister. You then kissed her on the cheek, leaving the bright red imprint of your lipstick.
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When you went back into the kitchen, your better mood was ruined pretty quickly by watching your aunt run your mother around the kitchen with demands and instructions. You decided to jump into the fray, taking a large serving bowl out of Marie’s hands before it tipped over.
“How’s the ham doing?” you asked. 
“About half an hour or so, I think,” Trina said. “Maybe forty-five.”
“Okay, and what’s left?”
“Let’s get the desserts ready.”
While your help sorely relieved your mother, it was actually a terrible idea for your mental health. When you could take no more of Trina’s irritating, commanding voice in your ear, you had to take a breath (as well as down a full glass of wine). 
You wordlessly asked Louisa to tag in for you before you traveled into the living room. 
There you found Ben immersed in a baseball game with Grandpa George. Both men only looked up at you when you stood near the couch with crossed arms. Your nerves were on edge, your blood still just short of boiling, but you took pains to look pleasant.
“Who’s winning?” you asked.
Ben quirked a smile at the sight of you, while George gave his more freely.
“5 to 3. It’s close on the Mets,” he said. You realized then that you hadn’t even hugged your grandfather yet. 
“Oh my God, Grandpa! I’m so sorry,” you said with a frown. You went over to hug him. “Trina has me all out of whack.”
George chuckled and patted you warmly on the back. “Why do you think I’m out here?”
You sighed with a wry smile. You then turned to Great Aunt Sylvia, who was still passed out in the recliner. 
“Aunt Sylvia?” you tried. You went over to her and touched her arm. 
“Leave her be, hun,” George told you. “Only the smell of food’ll rouse that woman.” 
Your smile deepened. Then you turned to Ben, who’d been watching you with reserved interest. He’d never seen you with the rest of your family before.
You went to him on his side of the couch and asked, in a tone deceptively light, “How about a tour of the house? You haven’t even seen it all.”
He could admit, it was a fairly big house for just your mother, but he was more interested in the game. 
“I’m watching this,” he said, gesturing at the screen. However, when he saw the tight press of your lips, he knew something wasn’t right with you. You were trying to tell him something with your eyes, he just didn’t know what.
You leaned down, subtly grabbing his thigh.
“I need you,” you whispered in his ear. “Now.” 
The tone of your voice set his blood alight with new interest.
Ben’s resulting smirk was subtle, but edged. 
“A tour it is.” 
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AN: Just when you thought you'd seen the last of my BMD cliffhangers. 😏
How'd you like Ben's introduction to his girlfriend's family? I also sincerely hope you don't have an "Aunt Trina" in your life. 🙄
Next Time:
He grabbed your arms and meant to kiss you, but you stopped him with your fingers against his lips. 
“Two rules: this lipstick doesn’t come off. And no. Ripping. The dress.”
Keep reading: PART 3
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Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Tag List:
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@xoxovienna @katherineann814 @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28 @nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022 @emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @karnellius @kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun @lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420 @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92
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scoonsalicious · 10 months ago
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Unwanted: Chapter 2, Unspeakable - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of alcohol, longing looks/touches, this part's mostly fluff, ngl.
Word Count: 1.1k
Previously On...: And from that night, you and Bucky became best friends. Because there are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and the stuff of your nightmares was one of them.
A/N: I thought the Harry Potter quote was appropriate to bastardize for the Previously On... Don't come for me, lol
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21
From that night on, Bucky found every excuse he could to touch you. It was as though, after so many years of nothing but cold cruelty, he had become addicted to the warmth and softness of your skin. You didn't mind in the least; you liked the way he wrapped his arm around your stomach and rested his chin in the crook of your shoulder when he came up behind you, or the way he pulled your hand onto his thigh and traced the lines of your palm with his index finger while you watched TV in the common room, side by side.
One afternoon, you were standing in front of a monitor in your lab, lost in thought as the numbers from your latest algorithm trial ran across the screen. So immersed were you in the data that you didn't notice the form coming up behind you until two hands grabbed you by the waist, lifting you up and spinning you.
Without thinking, your years of training kicked in, like flipping on a switch. You stomped down, hard, on the top of your assailant's foot with your heel, while simultaneously throwing your elbow back into their solar plexus. The attacker let out a low "Oof" and released their hold on you, giving you the opportunity to drop your weight low and spin on your toes to face them.
Bucky stood stooped before you, one hand clutching his abdomen where your elbow had made contact, the other hand held up in surrender. The other hand?
"Jesus Christ, Buck!" you panted. "You scared the shit out of me!"
"I was trying to surprise you, you hell beast," Bucky said, though he was smiling. Rubbing the tender spot of nerves you had so artfully disturbed, he asked "Where'd you learn to fight so dirty?"
"Krav Maga," you beamed, pleased that you'd managed to get a hit on a super soldier, even if Bucky hadn't been actually attacking you. "Care to tell me how you managed to end up with two fucking arms?"
Now it was Buck's turn to beam at you as he held out his new left arm for your perusal. You took the hand, inspecting it. Black metal gleamed in the light of your lab. You turned the arm over, admiring the craftsmanship. "This is a thing of beauty, Buck," you murmured, trailing your fingers along the gold veins that ran through the metal. Bucky involuntarily shivered at your touch. "You can feel that?" you asked him, awestruck. He nodded, his face awash in delight.
You leaned in to examine it more closely. If you didn't know any better, you'd say it was... But, no, it couldn't be– "Bucky," you said in astonishment, looking up to meet his eye, "is this vibranium?"
Bucky grinned from ear to ear, looking like a little boy who had gotten just what he'd asked for for Christmas. "It was a gift. From the Wakandans, for helping them capture Helmut Zemo." Bucky seemed almost shy at revealing why the Wakandans had gifted him the arm, as though he was still uncomfortable with being acknowledged for doing good instead of being blamed for committing evil.
"This..." you started, at a loss for words. "Bucky, this is amazing! The Wakandans are the most technologically advanced nation on the planet. This makes the arm I've been working on look like a fucking stick."
Bucky cocked his head and studied you as you studied the vibranium appendage. "You were making me an arm, doll?" he asked, throat choked on emotion.
You looked up at him, a blush of color rising to your cheeks. "Well, I was trying to. I wasn't going to say anything until I knew it would work; I didn't want to get your hopes up, but this... this is worlds better than anything I could have manufactured."
Bucky gently pulled his metal arm from your hand and used it to cup your cheek, instead. You leaned into the cool, hard metal. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," he murmured. You gave him a soft smile.
"You're one of my best friends, and you deserve all the good things," you told him with a shrug of your shoulder. "Including two functioning arms."
Bucky pulled you into a hug and you returned his embrace, relishing in the feeling of being completely held by him. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Pocket," he said into the top of your head.
You pulled back to look up at him. "Well, hopefully, you'll never have to find out." You stayed like that for a few moments longer, neither of you willing to be the first to let go. "You know what," you said, eventually pulling away from him, "we should celebrate."
Bucky looked down at you with a glint in his eye. "Celebrate, huh? What should we do?"
"Anything you want," you told him, moving out of the cage of his arms. Arms. You still couldn't believe it. "It's your arm we're celebrating."
He studied you for a moment, and there was a look in his eyes you couldn't quite decipher. As the heat of Bucky's gaze lingered on you, a shiver ran down your spine. There was something different about the way he looked at you now, something that made your heart race and your palms grow sweaty. It was as if every fiber of his being was focused solely on you, his eyes tracing every contour of your face with an almost alarming intensity.
"Can we start those Hobbit movies?" he asked.
"That's how you want to celebrate?" you smiled up at him. "You're such a fucking nerd. Yeah, we can absolutely do that. Oh, shit--" you remembered. "It's Girls' Night tonight. It’s fine– I can skip it."
"No," said Bucky, and the look he'd been giving you had vanished, leaving you to wonder if you'd simply imagined it to begin with, "go to Girls' Night. I know how much you look forward to those."
"I said we'd celebrate, and I want to celebrate," you insisted. "I can bow out of Girls' Night early. I'll just pop in, have one glass of wine, and then I'll be all yours; they can manage without me for a night."
Bucky hit you with his devil-charming grin. "All mine?" he asked, a mischievous lilt to his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you playfully slapped at his chest. "You know what I mean, asshat."
"Another dollar in the jar," he tsked.
"Get the fuck out of here and let me get back to work," you said with a laugh, shooing him away. You followed him with your eyes as he made his way to the door. Right before he went through, he turned around and looked back over at you, giving you a parting smile before walking off.
<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->
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artandthebible · 1 month ago
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Christ Carrying the Cross
Artist: Sebastiano del Piombo (Italian, 1485-1547)
Date: 1515–1517
Medium: Oil on panel
Collection: Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago, IL, United States
Description
Here, Simon of Cyrene assists Jesus, emphasizing the heavy weight of the cross on his shoulders. A Roman soldier stands behind, his jeering face just visible in the darkness. In the background, the tightly packed composition opens up onto a crowd assembling at the foot of the hill of Golgotha, with two crosses barely visible. The luminous landscape is a hallmark of the artist's Venetian training. The painting's dramatic visual impact is a result of the powerful diagonals of the cross; the dynamic, almost sculptural quality of Christ's clothing; and the pathos of his expression.
The Art Institute's version is an autograph replica of a painting—now in the Museo del Prado, Madrid—made for Jerónimo Vich y Valterra, the Spanish ambassador to Rome. Other versions survive in the State Hermitage Museum, Saint Petersburg; the Monasterio de las Descalzas Reales, Madrid; and the Szépmüvészeti Múzeum, Budapest.
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agerefandomstuff · 1 month ago
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Your Soldier Boy fic made me wish I was Butcher’s little sweetheart 😭 he’d be such a funny caregiver!!
Request for Butcher x Reader caregiver? Maybe catching them slipping during a mission and taking care of them when they get back home 🥺
Can be gender neutral or fem leaning, up to you 🥰
um.. this might be a long one that got more focused on the first part "slipping on a mission" then the second part. but um........please, I hope it feeds you a little.
Title: Bad Time to Slip
Word Count: 3550
Description: Y/n is beginning to slip when youre suppose to be on mission. Sure it wasnt the most dangerous mission but you feel an obligation to do it even when things go wrong, like you starting to regress, which only makes you feel worse. Butcher is a little slow to catch on too focused on finishing the job. but one thing is for sure, even if he has the grace of Bambi on ice, he is your daddy.
Cw: -cussing.
-Semi-cannon compliant Butcher being a bit crude and kind of putting his goals above others.
-The Boys world in general needs its own warning.
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It was suppose to be an average mission. Well average for them anyway. Go into the supes only nightclub, get evidence that there was an illegal V distribution ring in the basement, get out, meet daddy in M.M.’s car–NOT daddy. This was not the time for daddy talk! Yet it was all you could think of as you waited anxiously in line, shifting from foot to foot as you held your forged invite and ID. You were Emma Bunton tonight while Hughie was Mel C, names courtesy of Butcher’s humor and adoration for the Spice Girls. You only hoped the security guard wasn't as big of a fan as he was or didn't get paid enough to care about such obvious fake names. 
Hughie bumped your shoulder and attempted to give you a reassuring smile, although his resting anxious face didn't exactly fill you with the warm and fuzzies. In fact, you and Hughie’s nerves were palpable even over the hidden earpieces and through the grainy video feed Butcher and M.M. were keeping an eye on you both over. 
“The way they both manage to rile each ova up you'd think they were in line for the gate o’hell ta meet the big man ‘imself. Christ.” Butcher shakes his head wanting to be in disbelief at the two of yous’ terrible nerves but honestly after knowing you both this long it wasn’t that much of a surprise. More aggravating than anything.
“They haven't even said anything to each other or gotten inside and they're already gonna blow it. We gotta call it.” M.M. reached out to unmute the microphone ready to call you both back in and abandon the mission for the night but Butcher’s hand casually covered the button first, blocking him. 
“Now now.. Hold y’horses. Let's ask em if dey’ll ‘andle it.” Butcher leaned closer to the microphone and pressed the button,speaking in your ears.. “Y’both look like y’bunch of lil scared shitless kids goin ta their first peepshow. Y’both been through worse shite. So wouldja both quit bein a couple o’ sniveling twats or does daddy need ta come handle it for one of ya’s?”
Daddy.
There it was again. 
He hadn't even meant it like that. He didn't know you couldn't get the thought of being cuddled up on the couch against him watching one of the shows you liked to watch and he liked to pretend got on his nerves instead of waiting in line for half an hour while freezing your toes off as the supes around you talked about things that made your skin crawl. Oh how you were thinking of slipping into comfort clothes–or even settling for Butcher’s! One of his sweaters that had mystery stains in it and smelled like nicotine or a button up with one of the cheesy prints he liked that also carried its own very… unique scent to it. Not your current outfit that made you uncomfortably aware of every knot and stitch in the fabric that rubbed you raw or how your toes felt just a little too squished in your shoes. You would take any of his stinky clothes or his stinky couch or his entire stinky self over this stupid mission right now!!
“Ah I um.. I don't know how you feel but I–” You had opened your mouth to tell Butcher that you couldn't do it today. You were giving up on today’s mission because you were slipping and you needed time to get back in the right headspace so you wouldn't muck up the mission today. But.. Hughie had beaten you to it, stumbling over his words as he started to respond to his earpiece only to remember he needed to phrase it as if he were having a conversation with you. “I– um I mean– Annie texted and said I have to go. Sorry!”
You stood there looking at him dumbfounded as he turned in the line and awkwardly pushed his way out of the crowd of people, retreating back to the van and effectively leaving you alone and only a few people from the entrance.
“Oh bollocks.” Butcher grumbled under his breath, seeing you stand there like a sad little guppy in a sea of predators immediately made him turn around and pull his overcoat on. 
“Woah– what? What exactly do you think youre doing?” M.M. asked, shocked but not getting in the way of the man as he tugged out their collection of fake IDs, spending a whole few milliseconds to make sure he grabbed one that would work.
“What’s it look like Beautiful? I just got tagged in.” Butcher shoots him a quick toothy grin, forever seemingly unphased by the world, before hopping out of the back of the van, leaving M.M. to deal with closing the door while he saunters around the building. He claps Hughie on the shoulder as they pass by each other, giving him an apathetic smug look. Which Hughie desperately wanted to take as there being no hard feelings about him suddenly dropping out, but his anxiety made him look over his shoulders a few times as he joined M.M. as if he expected Butcher shoot him in the butt or something while his back was turned. 
All your feelings on the other hand had plummeted to your feet, leaving you frozen in place until someone shoved you forward and forced you to keep following the moving line. As your eyes stayed glued to the six armed man in front of you, it felt like not only did the line seem to be moving much more quickly than it had when you had a partner, you also felt like you were suddenly much… much smaller than before. Everything seemed too big and towered over you. Moments ago you were beside a regular building with other adults roughly your height–Hughie, the stringbean, and a few height enhanced supes being the outliers of course. But all alone, the lights everywhere were too bright, the streets too noisy, and you felt like even the red rope keeping the line neat was taller than you. One more shove to keep you walking might just cause you to fall right under someone’s shoe to get stepped on like some tiny bug. 
You really wish you’d spoken up faster than Hughie. But.. someone had..to do the mission… and you couldn't let the team down…
…..Also how could you possibly ever get out of this crowd now without an adult to guide you through?
You were way too small to do it by yourself. Surely you'd get lost or stepped on or one of the bad supes might pick you up and take you home and do all the terrible things daddy says they’ll do to sweet little kids like you!
As your mind spiraled with regression-brain-fueled fears another hand suddenly clapped onto your shoulder making you jump, apologies tumbling from your mouth as you assumed you were getting pushed for the line moving again. 
“Woah– woah now. Hold on jus’ a minute, doll. Came t’make sure y’alright afta y’buddy bailed. I don't need t’hear any sorries,” Instantly at the sound of Butcher’s crass tone your mouth stopped and your head snapped up to meet his face. You're not sure you'd ever been so relieved to see his scruffy beard before. The tears that were threatening to well up in your eyes paused and you quickly jumped on him, arms wrapped around his neck while your face buried itself in the collar of his duster.
You could've sobbed in the relief to have someone here–not just anyone, but daddy come save you from getting pushed around and stomped on from the scary supes. You let out a shuddering breath then took several long deep breaths in, letting his scent mellow out at least one of your overstimulated senses.
“Oh.. di'ja get lonely already?” Butcher teases his tone more gentle as he wrapped one arm around your waist the other lightly patting your back half heartedly returning the hug while still making sure to be keeping an eye on the surroundings since you weren’t. He presses one quick kiss to the top of your head then pulls you back just enough so you couldn't keep hiding against him. “C’mon then. We’re next, love.”
Always more focused on the mission, Butcher got back to business, slipping his hand down to the small of your back to guide you forward while your gaze stayed on his face, fear written over it as you debated on telling him you were slipping. 
“Da–” You started but he tugged your ID out of your hand and offered it over to the security guard that vaguely shined a blue light over both of them then handed them back, jutting his thumb to the door and never once actually looking at your faces. Butcher slips both IDs in his back pocket and with his hand still on your back guides you inside the nightclub, never giving you the chance to even really start on your explanation before you were inside. 
Once inside your brain really started to get overwhelmed, now fighting harder between slipping further and coming back up from all the… adult scenes before you. Your cheeks burned red but the dark lighting accompanied by the random colorful strobe lights hid the most of your embarrassment. Yet it couldn't stop Butcher from noticing how you cringed at the scent of what you could only assume were drugs, liquor, and sweat. Also maybe.. Piss?
Butcher chuckled at your discomfort assuming it was just you being a normal prude like Hughie acted and switched his hand from your lower back to holding your hand, dragging you over to the bar top. “I’ll talk t’miss barkeep whilst you keep an eye out fer any vials bein passed around.”
While you were glad to not get separated with the hand holding it also made you feel vulnerable not having that protective arm halfway around you like your own shield or security blanket. 
So when you neared the bar you used the thick crowd as an excuse to press as close to him as possible, peeking around his shoulder in an attempt to watch as instructed. But everything still felt so big and every time you peeked out your eyes were either met with a sight you weren’t mentally old enough to see or someone with a terrifying physical mutation that only made you think of the Vought+’s horror movie section. 
To make things worse Butcher was progressively getting more irritated with the bartender, his voice no longer as light and playful as it started but more like he was interrogating. Or…. maybe you imagaining that because you were scared and couldn't hear anything very well over the eardrum shattering music.
Getting the tip he wanted, Butcher threw back a glass of whiskey and shuffled you both away from the bar, too focused on his objective again to think much about how you’d practically been hiding under his coat the whole time. Besides, you being cuddled against his chest wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling thus he didn't think he needed to focus on worrying about you too much in the moment. you were tucked against him not causing problems. Being quiet. Being still. Being rather meek and– actually now that he thinks about it– “Y’alri–” Ah. Nevermind that now. There’s what he was looking for.
Moving on while keeping you close against his side like a mother hen in the grocery store, Butcher pushes his way through the people to an unassuming door near the back. A few people had gone inside sporadically since they'd come in and the few that came back out usually either instantly left the club or were proudly rejoining the party with powers that likely were not that strong before they went in. 
You flinch as someone lets out fireworks from their hands above the crowd, forcing Butcher to also stop in place when you grab onto his shirt with one hand and retreat yet again into him. He glances down at you then at the door, M.M. crackling in your ear to ask why you’d both stopped. 
You were so close. He could bust in, crack some heads, take some pictures and vials, maybe even handcuff some people to make Hughie feel like he was learning to be less violent or some shite–
But.. 
M.M. was right to bring up ditching today. as much as he hated to admit it, you just weren't in it today and he should've pulled you as well and just done this himself. He was better off alone.
Ah hell! He's gotten too damn soft in his old age. His moral compass actually made him feel an obligation to take care of you and he couldn't just… force you through this without feeling a bit guilty later.
“Y’ain’t very big ‘bout now, are ya, love?” Butcher lowered his lips to your ear so you could hear him better. Your heart ached at his tone. That was daddy. You knew he knew now. But god you also didn't want him to. You wanted to be big and finish the mission even though everything was so scary right now. After all it was your job and that's what you were supposed to do!
You looked up at him and shook your head a little, your glossy eyes matching your fearful look which easily gave away your lie. “I can help. I can be big. We can finish. G..get the bad guys.”
He cupped your head, lightly petting your hair back, his mind already made up. “No. Y’done, kid.”
Hot tears came fast after that, feeling like you'd let him and the rest of the team down. M.M. confused voice prattling away with questions and concerned assumptions as you continued to plead with Butcher. “But the mission…? It’s not done?”
“Let the grown ones take over, yeah?” Although his inflection seemed to pose it as a question this wasn't an option. He leaned down just enough to hook his hands under your bottom and hoist you up, not having an ounce of difficulty with how often he’d lifted you by now. Yet if this were any other time he would definitely keep pretending like it broke his back to carry you.
“I..I can still help. L-let me help–” You stumbled out desperately, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders for stability as he started to carry you towards the back exit where it would be a shorter walk back to the van, this time being more cautious as he pushed past people so he wouldn't accidently get his baby squished. 
“I know y’can help. I got it.”
“But–”
“I said no.” His tone quickly shut you up, your little mind too afraid of that firm parental tone to go against it right now. You shrunk into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his chest as you tried not to let the tears fall. “Now if y’keep arguin with Daddy yer gonna get a swat ‘long with gettin decommissioned. Undastood?”
“Yes, daddy...” You managed to get out after he carried you outside, all the noise from the club getting trapped inside as the door swung shut behind you, allowing him to hear your pitiful voice. 
Your barely unshed tears weren’t even brought on simply because of getting chastised, you had gotten in trouble before without crying, it was the accumulation of everything and him using that tone was like the final nail in your regression coffin. It’s like he was saying you weren’t allowed to hold off your regression any longer. You were little now and you couldn’t do your big person job and that was final.
You were getting so far into your head trying not to succumb to full blown crying that you hadn't noticed Butcher had been rubbing your back and whispering little reassurances in your ear until he had stopped to put you in the passenger seat of the van. 
Fearfully you clung onto him after he set you down, not allowing him to buckle you in or pull away to shut the door or heaven forbid abandon you when you needed your daddy so so badly. He chuckled a little at the way you grip at his overcoat and whimpered, looking at him like you were the world’s saddest pup. Even Terror couldn’t produce those kind of puppy eyes yet he managed to swindle Butcher out of just about as many treats as you did. 
“I’m comin back. Don’tchu worry y’lil head. Just gotta finish this up, yeah? Then we can head on out, make us a good hot cuppa, an you can cry y’littke eyes out then. I'll even lettcha wipe y’nasty little baby snot on m’favorite sweata, hows about that?” Using as much grace as he always does, Butcher tries to convince you to let go of him, wiping away one of your fallen tears. M.M. shifted impatiently behind him, having gotten out of the van to accompany him back in to finish the mission you couldn't–
“No, daddy, please– it's too much! I need you! The monsters will find me if you leave and they’ll eat me up like you always say and–”
Oooh… there goes karma. Another one of his hilarious lil jokes coming back around to bite him right in the arse. Even M.M. gave him a disapproving look and a “not cool, man.” to which he just shrugged off and ruffled your hair while he tried to think of a way to temporarily fix this while not technically making himself seem like a liar. Kids needed to have a healthy fear of supes anyway, right?
“They ain't gonna eatcha. This ‘ere van is uh… pretty much invisible an so are you. Long as y’stay inside it.” He tugged your hands off his coat, placing them in your lap and holding them there for a few seconds as he continued. “Besides y’got Hughie with you. What’s still scary when y’got him ‘round?”
“Everything! He’s scared of everything too!” Butcher had to press his lips together to not crack up, knowing you were being serious and genuinely afraid. He clears his throat then wipes your tears away again as he takes a step back.
“Right well… you sit tight. An prove t’him it's not all scary.” He stops midway from closing the door, opening it back up to clarify. “An when I say sit tight I mean I don't want those cheeks moving off that seat less ya need ta take a piss. An even then y’do it by the wheels–an we don’t tell M.M. if y’get any on it,” he pauses with a mischievous smirk, pointing at you in a playful warning and a wink, “Then y’plant y’pot back in this here seat. Good?”
You hugged your arms around yourself, unhappy with him leaving but trusting he would be right back like he said. You nodded once, peeking up at him from under your pinched worried brows. With that confirmation, he shut the door and headed back into the building with M.M.
It took them only fifteen minutes to sneak back into the building, cause trouble, get the evidence they needed only to “accidentally” set the building on fire while making their grand escape. M.M. slammed into the driver’s side door in his attempt to get in too hastily, which gave Butcher just enough time to jump into the back with his manic bloody grin–pleased with the chaos since it went his way–before M.M. could put his foot to the floor and peel out of the alley, supes futilely chasing after them on foot. 
After falling on his butt from the initial speed up, Butcher made his way up to the front, he leaned over your seat–which you were gripping onto for dear life–and buckled you in, giving you a mischievously innocent look.
“Y’did good, baby! Y’did good! Look atcha! Still in one piece, no chunks taken out from monster bites, an still in yer seat! Y’made daddy very proud, love.” He pressed a firm kiss to your temple, blood from his split lip leaving a mark on your skin like lipstick but all you took away from it was his affection. 
With one hand still white knuckling your seat for stability as M.M. weaved dangerously through the night’s streets, your other hand reached out for Butcher’s, worry still etched on your face from earlier. He happily took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles, still very much riding the high of kicking scumbag supe ass. 
“Love ya, kid. We’re gonna sleep well tonight.”
“We are?” There was something about his confidence that began to reassure you, making you finally start to relax ironically amidst the most chaotic part of the night.
“Course! How could y’not when y’ll be cuddled up with daddy? I happen t’know someone who’s given rave reviews ‘bout my cuddlin skills.” He winks at you, squeezing your hand for a split second then letting go as M.M. turned without warning, sending him flying back with an amused slew of ridiculously british curses.
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softspeirs · 10 months ago
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on leave
A/N: Obviously this goes without saying that there's almost no historical basis for this interaction to happen, except that there's a brief window of time in the late summer of 1943 where Easy and The 100th could have interacted... but that's why I love fanfiction. Thanks to @basilone for enabling me. Meet my BoB OC Kat Gray. You can learn more about her in Barren Soul. No pairing for this fic except a hint at something if you take a cue from Bucky Egan.
"You know, it's nice that the Airborne finally decided to show up." Bucky says, tilting his head and gesturing with his glass.
They've been back from Africa for two days, and the brass decided everyone could do with some leave. They've got a few days in London while the new replacements arrive, and it seems that half the units in the US Army had the same idea.
This pub in particular is packed with soldiers, airmen, and civilians alike.
Next to him, Cleven and DeMarco share an aggrieved look.
"What?"
"Can you just--" Gale straightens his jacket, leans in, "--try not to start a fight? For once?"
"Don't count on it." Bucky grins.
A roar from the corner of the room grabs their attention, and they shift on their barstools to watch how the game of darts is getting on. There's a new addition to the roster, Bucky notices.
"You're a cheat!" A man says, and the woman in question raises her eyebrows.
"When have you ever known me to be dishonest?"
"The last time you gave me stitches and told me it wouldn't hurt."
She rolls her eyes. "That was an accident, and you're too sensitive, Luz."
"Interesting." DeMarco says under his breath. "You ever heard of a woman in the paratroops?"
Buck smirks. "What, you haven't read the papers? Experimental unit."
"Any girl who can jump out of a plane is alright in my book." Bucky says, as he takes another gulp of his drink, "Probably a little crazy, but alright."
They interrupted by a First Lieutenant who looks like he's already had a few, but all the same, he squeezes in on the other side of Benny, signaling the bartender. "Majors, Captain." He says, two fingers at his temple in half-hearted salute.
"You with the Airborne?" Bucky asks, louder to be heard over the band.
"101st."
"100th Bomb Group." Buck says, holding out his hand to shake. "Gale Cleven. This is Major John Egan and Captain Benny DeMarco."
"Lewis Nixon." The man says, a few pints set down in front of him by the bartender. Nixon looks up in thanks and then turns back to the men in front of him. "100th Bomb Group... you're flying B-17s, right?" He whistles. "I wouldn't know what to do with a plane like that."
"Jump out of it, probably." Bucky says.
"Nix--" a female voice interrupts them, "Need a hand?"
The woman in front of them is brunette, her hair tightly pinned and tucked beneath a garrison cap. Bucky instantly straightens, grin firmly in place.
"I wouldn't." Nixon mutters, giving Bucky a look out of the corner of his eye. Turning to the woman, his face softens a fraction. "This is Corporal Kathryn Gray."
Introductions are made, and Bucky can't help himself. "What's a girl like you doing with an outfit like this?"
Her eyes narrow, and he gets the feeling he's put his foot in it, though he was just trying to be funny.
"A girl like me?" She asks, her tone neutral, but that steel look in her eyes. "What am I like?"
"Christ." Nixon mutters, running his free hand over his face.
"What?" Gray asks. "Just making conversation."
"Just starting trouble, more like."
"Funny," Buck says. "We just had a similar conversation. He elbows Bucky in the ribs.
"All good over here?" Another Lieutenant appears, this one shorter, eyes hard. His reddish hair and sharp jaw make him stand out among the rest of the group, but Bucky's not stupid enough not to notice the way they're all glancing over to the bar, prepared to close ranks if needed.
He holds his hands up. "Just fine, Lieutenant--"
"Welsh."
Benny interrupts, ever the peacemaker. "Gray, what line of work you in? We were reading about the women paratroops in the paper the other morning."
She turns to Benny with a smile, and Bucky frowns. He had asked the same question! Well, he asked it his way, and Benny has that unassuming way of talking. Even though they're both from the Midwest, somehow Bucky just doesn't come off as disarming as his friend from Chicago.
"Medic," she says proudly.
"Tough job." Buck says quietly, though his lips are quirked to show he means no harm. "What made you go that route?"
"Dad's a doctor. And I wanted to help." She says simply.
"Kat!" A loud voice bellows from across the room.
"Duty calls." She says dryly. "Majors. Captain." She looks back at her own Lieutenants. "Sirs." She says, but it sounds sarcastic. Bucky blinks in surprise at her tone.
Welsh and Nixon both grumble and roll their eyes, neither of them making any move to admonish her.
"She sure made that sound like an insult." DeMarco says.
"Word to the wise, in case you ever find yourself with a woman in your unit-- and you will, soon enough--" Nixon says, "She'll call you by your rank, but don't for a second think that means she takes you seriously or will listen to anything you say."
"And it's useless to try." Welsh says, and holds up his glass for Nixon to cheers.
"Sounds like my kind of girl," Bucky agrees under his breath, and gets another sideways glance from Nixon before he makes his excuses and heads off with Welsh, the both of them greeted with cheers, slaps on the back, and sounds of approval from their guys.
"He was right--" Buck says. "I wouldn't."
Bucky frowns. "What do you mean?"
"Over there." Buck tilts his head in the direction of the opposite corner of the room. At a table with one other man, there's another Airborne Lieutenant. Dark hair, darker eyes, and he's tracking Corporal Gray as she moves in the room.
"Huh." Bucky settles back into his seat, elbow on the bar behind him.
Buck turns around, chuckling when Bucky curses under his breath. "Better luck next time, Romeo."
Bucky watches as Kat Gray as she flits between her men, an easy smile on her face. They nudge her and crack jokes, and all bravado aside, he can see why she fits right in. These guys clearly care about her, and she about them.
She shows it with a quick touch to one mans arm as she leans behind him to talk to someone else, as she winks at another guy who rolls his eyes and nudges her in the arm as he claims the seat on her right.
A half hour later, they're getting ready to clear out when Bucky sees her approach, an armful of empty glasses in tow. She sets them on the bar on the other side of him, and nods her thanks when he takes the last few from her hands.
"How long left on your leave, Major?"
"Just one more day. Then it's wheels up." He says, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.
"Good luck." She says simply. "I can't imagine what it's like up there."
Bucky feels the smile slipping off his face, but he does his best to try to keep it up. He doesn't want to think about flying right now. He doesn't want to think about Curt, or Buck flying in on no engines, none of it.
"You take care on the ground and I'll do my best in the air, okay?"
"Yes, sir."
He can't help it, he laughs. At her confusion, he grins. "I have it on good authority that when you say sir, what you really mean is--"
"Don't finish that sentence," Buck says, amused. "Corporal. Have a nice night. Good luck."
"You two, Majors." She says, and then she's off, a Sergeant and Nixon waiting at the door for her.
He sees the Screaming Eagle on her arm as she goes, and he shakes his head. "Lady medic."
"You're gonna need a medic if you don't get to bed soon." Buck mutters. "Let's go."
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unsteady-calcium · 4 months ago
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PLEASE EXPLAIN THE CRIMINAL MINDS BONES OVERLAP
OF COURSE!
Now, the fandom has many different favourites among the Squinterns. But my favourite is this guy:
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Beautiful jack-of-all-trades, all around good guy, Wendell Bray 🙏 Arguably the only normal human being who has ever set foot on the forensic platform.
God bless.
But, despite him being my best friend, my pal. my homeboy, my rotten soldier. I find it almost impossible to wholeheartedly enjoy his episodes. That is because he unfortunately shares his face with this man:
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Christ Salters, from Criminal Minds season 6 episode 7. I don't feel like listing his crimes due to the sheer number of trigger warnings I would have to put on this post, but you can of course check them out yourselves on the wiki.
But unsteady-calcium, you say. This was only one episode of Criminal Minds, a show which has been going for decades. Surely you can put it out of your mind for the sake of our sweet cheese, our good-time boy? Our golden-haired retriever?
No. Unfortunately I know his criminal minds episode better than the palm of my own hand. For one very simple reason.
Season 6 and 7 of Criminal Minds are the seasons which focus on Emily Prentiss' arc. And, as any self-respecting wlw I have of course watched every episode like a hundred times.
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I wrote a CM fanfic set during those seasons which is like 40k but we dont need to talk about that
So, now, whenever my favourite squintern is on screen, I am cursed to remember that time he commited combine harvester-related serial killings in Indiana 🚜
It is my cross to bear. Thank you for the ask 🫡
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deanoheartspie · 1 year ago
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Something RED 6
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Pairings: Reader x Soldier Boy (Ben)
Warnings: None.
Summary: you knew soldier boy since you were young until the man had gotten tested he had become a whole different person. So when he comes back after Crimson and other supes send him away, it makes him angry
A/N: I love hearing your thoughts! So share what you think.
Edited?: no I'll edit all the mistakes tomorrow. 10/31
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
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Ben had sat at the picnic table devouring his sandwich like it was going to leave him. He had been acting a little weird, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it until he cleared his throat.
“You know, Blondie the rip-off version of me? I'm his dad”
A small laugh left your lips and you shook your head, “That's a great joke”
Ben on the other hand didn't laugh, not one bit for the first time he looked dead serious which made you gasp “How is that possible...?"
“I get called into Vogelbaum’s lab for an experiment, some stupid shit about genetics. I basically beat my meat into a cup.” he stated very short, he ran his hands through his brown hair and sighed.
“I'm in a tough spot here yeah?”
You awkwardly nod, it did make more sense for Homlanders issues now... You were in no position to tell Ben what to do and neither was Hughie or Butcher if they found out.
“Am I the only one that knows?” you ask wondering who knows already and who you'll have to deal with.
Ben nods “That stupid shit is really mine. He's got a goddamn cape for Christ's sakes” he cringes and shakes his head disprovingly, before downing the rest of the whiskey bottle when smuggled into the basket when you had announced that you both were going for a picnic.
It grew silent. There wasn't much else to talk about it, honestly? It felt kind of weird knowing this information but then again... You were curious to what path Ben would choose. The team or Homelander?
“You should lay off the drinking, I can't exactly carry you back the motel” you teased trying to lighten up the mood, “Also back to what your were saying, what's wrong with a cape? They are pretty cool unless you have a boring looking one”
Ben gave you a side glanced and looked at you in disgust. “Y/n. It's a goddamn cape. It's just stupid.” he mutters his point and you raised a brow.
••••••••
“What the fuck is wrong him ay?” Butcher points to Ben who looks like he's conflicting all his life choices.
“Soldier boy you betta not be rethinking our agreement.” The bearded man kicked, Bens foot which nearly ended in a cat fight between the two.
“Butcher leave it alone im handling it.” you said sternly growing annoyed that she had to snap at these men like the we're children for gods sakes they are grown men!
“I talked to blondie on the phone today” Ben tells you before you left the room, stopping in your tracks and turning around.
“You what?!”
“I told him I was his father and all the bullshit.” he said waving around his blunt as he talked.
You were stunned. Annoyed but stunned. Did he know what homelander was like? Because shit like this was going to get them killed.
“Now I need to go tell Butcher this, stay here and I swear to god Ben don't touch anything” you were stressed and on your wits end at this rate. So much was happening and it was all going to fast.
“Butcher. We need to talk.”
•••••••••••••••••••••••
Taglist: @hobby27 @kat-nee @globetrotter28 @tmb510 @beskarfilms @deans-spinster-witch @stoneyggirl2
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blood-feathers · 5 months ago
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...Who the fuck are you talking to, bird?
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Jesus fucking Christ. Can't do anything without you jumping a foot into the air. Now what the hell are you doing at five in the morning? Don't fucking tell me you didn't sleep, we need you for the mission on Friday.
(The soldier is now available for questions.)
(COUGH COUGH WHEEZE)
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