#Childhood friend dies comes back to life and then I lose all of the powers that I didn't even originally have and it still feels like

[flying-cat]

Anyway on another note I cannot explain to you just how Severely disappointed I will be if bnha ends with a confession ending. I hate confession endings outside of romance manga 😀

+big ass rant in the tags

[avtrbee]

safe

✢ summary: just like everyone else, sometimes megumi just wants his mom.

✢ tags: mentions of the death of a pet, implied satoru x reader

✢ a/n: my friend has psychoanalyzed me with a diagnosis of mommy issues and i have always denied them. then i caught myself reflecting on what type of fanfics i write. especially this one.

Ever since Megumi had started school in Tokyo, he was barely home. Of course, he comes home every now and then, and living within the school's dormitories is part of the high school experience- hell, even you stayed in the school when you were a student- but the house is quiet without him, too quiet, which is probably why he does not go home as often as you'd like- that, among other things.

Everyone in your household knew that Tsumiki was what made your house into a home. Your girl always greeted you with a smile and volunteered to make hot meals for the family when you and Satoru didn't feel like cooking. She was warmth, she was energy, she was life. Until she wasn't.

The house became cold without its fire. You couldn't blame Megumi for wanting an escape from the halls that still echo her memory. Which was why you were surprised to see him sitting on the couch with his arms resting on his thighs, hands buried in his face.

"Megumi?" You call. "I didn't hear you come in."

His head lifts up and looks at you. "Liar," he accuses. "You can sense my cursed energy miles away. You knew I was coming home as soon as you felt it ."

His words were harsh but his tone was not off of his usual deadpan manner of speaking. You can't help but smile. He is still the same child who refused to sleep unless he clung to his divine dogs, Tsumiki, you, or Satoru (reluctantly, of course) in some way. He claimed it was for "warmth."

But he knows you as much as you know him. As he made his way to the house, you noticed something- his cursed energy was off. It was more powerful than usual. Of course, it could be a good thing- perhaps he was doing really well in school, but his downcast eyes and even broodier vibe are telling you otherwise. "What's wrong?"

Megumi leans back on the couch, sighs, and contemplates. He stares at your wall that is decorated with framed pictures and pictures you memories from his childhood. You've even framed pictures of his drawings- usually doodles of his shikigami.

He stands abruptly. "Never mind," he dismisses. "I don't wanna- I don't want to talk about it. It's childish and stupid-"

"Stupid enough to make you retreat back home?" You ask. You watch as your question sinks in through Megumi. Slowly, he sits back down. You sit on the other end of the couch.

"What's wrong, 'Gumi?" You ask again. "Tell me." I can fix it. Whatever it is, if I can fix it, I will shouts your inner thoughts.

"I lost one of them," Megumi whispers.

“Oh, Megumi, I-” you say, racking your brain for something to say. Deaths in the jujutsu world is so common that when you’re within the industry for too long you get used to it. “Losing a colleague- this won’t be the first time, baby. Nor will it be the last.”

“No,” Megumi groans out frustrated. There are tears streaming down his cheeks that he angrily wipes away. “My dogs. I lost one. I- Yuki died.”

Your heart breaks at Megumi’s childhood name for his white demon dog. “‘Gumi, I’m so sorry-”

You move to his side of the couch, wide arms open. Megumi falls in, just like he did when he was small. Megumi feels himself melt in your hold, his walls and defenses crumbling away like ash.

Megumi refuses to cry at all times but when you have his arms wrapped around him he finds himself not caring at all. It was like his heart recognized you too.

He buries his head in the crook of your neck and you pretend not to feel his tears.

You hold him until he lets you. Megumi is the one to pull away, and you never do. This boy js fickle with touch, and you always leave the duration of your hugs to his discretion.

You cup his face in your hands, thumbs swiping away the tear tracks. You’ve never seen Megumi this heartbroken before.

“I told him to scout the area and I just left him for a second- and he-” Megumi hiccups. “His head was on the wall. The curse threw his head so hard it made the pavement crack.”

You do not pretend to know his pain for you will never feel it. Megumi’s divine dogs were his first achievement. He smiled the first time he summoned them, even as Satoru threw him in the air in joy. Those dogs would trail after him in the house, obeying his command. You would turn a blind eye to the spare pieces of meat Megumi throws under the table just so they could taste cooked beef.

Megumi would refuse to let them go even when he slept, and was upset that they would disappear when he rested or lowered his guard. As a present, Satoru gifted him customized stuffed animals of the dogs that he never slept without. You were sure he packed those toys with him in the dorm.

When Tsumiki volunteers to run errands, Megumi would summon a dog and follow her. Just in case. They both always came back safe.

“He just did what I commanded, he was good, he was a good boy.” Megumi said, in a quieter voice.

“The best,” you agreed. “But didn’t Yuki merge with the other one? Isn’t that how your technique works when one of them dies?”

“It’s stupid-” A glare from you was all it took. “It’s not the same,” he admits. “I just want my dogs back.”

You give him a sad smile. You pull him close for another hug, and he melts in your arms once again but this time, he does not pull away. You hold him until his tears have dried, until his breaths slowed down, and until his eyes closed for a well deserved rest.

extra note: yuki apparently means snow in japanese. get it? snow=white demon dog (im not creative at all yall)

[fallenhunnyapple]

So the Poll said you guys were interested in the Human Priest!Adam AU which was a bit of a surprise honestly. But I'm very happy to talk about it~

I shared this art before for the AU. I gave a very basic description at the time, so let me get more detailed about it!

It hasn't gone unnoticed that Adam has gotten... Rather vice-ful in Heaven. One might even say sinful. And as such a public figure, that's no good. So they come up with a plan. Reincarnate Adam as a Human and let him live out a life and Prove that he's worthy of his place in Heaven. Of course, they'll take his memories and put him in a religious setting so he'll follow the proper path and prove himself.

He's sent to earth as a younger version of himself, old enough to take care of himself but still rather young, with the excuse of having been in an accident for why he has no memories (it removes the hassle of having to fabricate memories) and gets taken in by the church. He becomes the priest for this small town church. He's rather popular, his attitude, though not typical of a priest, being refreshing after their previous priest. He's made a bit uncomfortable about how adamantly homophobic some of his parish is as a closeted gay man, but he plays it off and over all he's doing well enough for himself at his church. Kinda lonely since its his Parish and not real companionship, he doesn't have any other friends or family. Not to mention he's actually been Good about not being sinful or acting on vices. Life is kinda hard.

Lucifer heard about this whole experiment. It doesn't really matter how, but since he knows, of course he needs to interfere. He... Hasn't actually gone to Earth before. He's sort of Shackled to Hell, its part of his punishment. But he finds some sort of Loop hole, using an Asmodean Crystal and some of his own cunning, he manages to make it there. Of course, he finds he still has his limits, he can't really interfere with most Humans, but Adam is a special case because while he is very much Human, he's still holy beyond any other human currently on Earth, and that gives him the chance to get close. His plan is honestly just to get him to Sin, enough to damn his soul so that Heaven would lose him when he died. He wasn't really planning on getting too Directly involved, but more nudging him in viceful and sinful directions.

And then Lucifer entered the church to meet him. Hallowed ground doesn't Actually affect him, he was an Angel once, he still has Angelic Powers and Abilities. The worst would be a vague tingling.

(take rp snippets. I'm Lucifer and Adam is @fallenguitarhero)

The AU as a whole, though it's definitely full of sexual tension and smut, because of course it is, it's also... Weirdly wholesome?

Adam didn't really have a Chance to make real friends or feel like anyone truly cared about him, he lost his 'childhood' and then was raised by the church and no one from his past ever tried to reenter his life. Aside from the setting though, he doesn't have the long hard life he lived in his memories, so he's basically like Eden Adam all over again, childish in a more playful way, not as bitter or vindictive, not as cruel. And Lucifer is there trying to gain his trust, and having this Adam act so much like the one he befriended back in the Garden, well. Lucifer sees him as sort of a friend too. And its the first time Adam's really felt companionship like that in this life. Sure, Lucifer is the Devil, but he acts like he cares more about him on a personal level than anyone else ever has.

Does that make him more susceptible to falling to Sin? Sure. But he doesn't find himself minding when the Devil makes him Feel Things, from romantic and sexual attraction to true fondness and friendship.

And for Lucifer's part, he's decided he no longer wants to tempt Adam to Sin just to fuck with Heaven. No, he wants Adam to join him in Hell because he was Adam To Join Him In Hell.

⚠️🔞 And since I mentioned the sexual tension and smut-

Essentially, as soon as Lucifer noticed that Adam was showing interest in him from their first meeting, he knew he had to have him Carnally. It wouldn't be enough to simply convince him to sin in other ways, no. He wanted to fuck him because there's no quicker way to Damnation than having sex with the Devil himself, right? Especially as a closeted gay priest. And Lucifer has the very specific goal in mind of getting Adam to let him fuck him in the confessional.

Lucifer doesn't start out pushing sex or anything. He wants to build trust with Adam first. But it's really not that hard to get under Adam's skin, he hardly has to do anything! Adam is a sexually frustrated man who has an inexplicable draw to the Devil and it doesn't take him long to start getting off to the very thought of him, of what Lucifer would do to him. And of course, Lucifer knows. And it only takes a little more poking and prodding and nudging before he can get Adam to agree to indulge in his fantasies and make them real!

And then there's just a fun scenario in my head about them being nasty in the confessional (like Lucifer wanted) and someone entering the other side and so Adam has to do his Job while Lucifer has him fully hilted and seated on his lap with a prehensile tentacle dick that's moving around on its own while Adam has to try Really Hard to not let himself make any suspicious sounds while taking confession-

[skrrts]

Heart's Contradiction Series * Hongjoong (mature!)

✧ gn!reader x hongjoong ✧ reader is a human ; hongjoong is a demon ✧ feat. wooyoung & seonghwa ✧ genre: au, soulmates, villains, romance, angst, emotional, comfort, supernatural ✧ word count: 12,9k ✧ warnings: adult language, death (non graphic) & rebirth, losing something important to you, loneliness, sadness, bittersweet, mdni!

in a world where finding your soulmate is everyone's highest goal, there is more at stake than just finding love. your soulmate is meant to change your life forever, for better or worse. what will you do when, after searching for so long, you come to realize that your soulmate is seen as the villain in somebody else's story, maybe even your own? the legend about the demon who tears lovers apart is as old as the soulmate bond itself, those who cannot endure living without their other half any longer call for him and in exchange for half of their lifetime, are united with their one right away until the monster returns to collect his price. when you heard noises on the second floor of your apartment complex, you didn't really think it through. the moment you pushed the door open and your gazes met, it was over. you know it's him, not because of the red string only visible to you but because soulmates are made of one soul and for the first time, you are sure to meet a pair of eyes that match your loneliness. time is a strange thing, you waited for something for so long, but as always, it's slipping right through your fingers. again.

a/n: this was meant to be the closing piece of the series due to the topics it covers but it ended up working easier for me to write. joong is the villain in the story of soulmates who give in to their longing to find them for a price. please make sure to read the warnings. if you decide to give it a read, thanks a lot 🤎

You made a face when Wooyoung placed the cake in your hands so he could lighten the candles. The topping said ‘Happy You Day’, fitting for somebody who did not like to celebrate their own birthday and your friend respected it by not using that word to decorate it. After years, he figured out you’d accept the cake but not much more. Birthdays just never mattered to you, not only because no family was there to celebrate it with you but you failed to see why one should only celebrate life on one specific day. It was even worse if one believed that soulmates really used to be one soul split into two on that day, even if they only were separated to finally be reunited.

“Make a wish,” Wooyoung smiled and you sighed a little but closed your eyes. What should you wish for? Your life wasn’t too bad, really. You were used to being alone, doing everything by your own efforts but also interests. From your childhood up to this point, you simply got used to that. You had friends, especially Wooyoung, but when you went home after a long day, that was it.

Unlike the entire world, you weren’t looking for your soulmate. There was not one way that worked for each to find them, fate was the asshole to decide over it, so why should you freak out about it? You were tired of the daily acts of desperation in the news: people who commited crimes to be with their soulmates, those who lost all will to live because theirs died or scammers promising to find it for you.

For Wooyoung to always be happy! It seemed like a good wish! You blew out the candles and watched Wooyoung with his cute, little claps and smile. He really was a great friend and you felt bad for being all grumpy about it. “Thank you for the cake, they get prettier every year,” you winked and he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“I am working on it! Ah, I am sorry I cannot stay around this year to eat it with you, and that we are doing this on the street literally,” he sighed, looking at the watch. 

“Nonsense! You will absolutely get the job, this is my birthday after all and with this, I shall give you the power to fullfil your dreams!” You insisted and he was looking at you with a small smile.

“You really are amazing, Y/N. You know, I won’t ever stop admiring you… Hey, let’s meet on Tuesday and we cook together, okay?” You nodded and Wooyoung turned around, waving before he finally went out of sight and you sighed, lifting the cake up a little higher: “Now, what do we do with you? I won’t ever be able to eat all of you by my own until you can’t even survive in the fridge anymore.”

With some skill, you managed to get the cake safely back into your small apartment, placing it in the fridge for later before kicking off your shoes and leaving your bag and jacket by the door. It was Friday, this was probably the best of all birthday gifts because like that you could dodge most of your co-workers with their unserious wishes. 

You grabbed an energy drink, deciding to make use of it and binge-watch a show all night when you fell onto the couch. Upon searching for the remote, you leaned over to see if it fell into one of the cardboard boxes. It had been a few months since you moved in but there just were some you had no reason to unbox, memories of a time gone, unsure why you kept them. 

As you pulled out the remote, your eyes fell on a silly book. You picked it up and brushed over the dusty cover. Humans always loved to scare their children from doing something naughty with stories. The book was about an evil monster, one that came and promised you to find your soulmate but for that, you’d lose something else important to you, so if you saw him, you were meant to rush out of the room, close the door and repeat for him to go away. 

“Tch, considering how soulmates exist, who can blame some for believing this exists too.” 

It was an old story, one ironically everyone knew. It said if you called out for a demon, he would find your soulmate for you but in return, you had to sell your soul to him and one day, he’d just come and claim it and then you died. 

You dropped the book on the table and started the first few episodes of the show but somehow, you didn’t really get into it at all. The cake came back to mind again and you forced yourself up, cutting out a single slice and shoved a fork in your mouth. You did have to give it to Wooyoung , while his decoration skills had room for improvement, the taste always was on point. 

“This is how you spent your twenty-sixth birthday,” you nodded to yourself before suddenly, there was a loud boom which led for you to drop the plate with the cake, it crashed on the floor, shattering.

“Fuck!” you cursed and looked around, grabbing something to start and pick up the shards, followed by a towel to try and clean up. When you sat up, you paused. Not only because there was the same sound again, although quieter this time but most of all you were staring at your wrist.

“Hell?” you were good with cursing today it seemed but as you pulled on the red string around it, the thing wouldn’t move. “What’s this?” you blinked and crossed your legs, grabbing a knife but it seemed as it was invisible to the sharp blade. The third shattering sound from the floor above yours finally let you look up. 

You swallowed thickly, standing up and pulling on your sneakers, together with your phone and your keys. You kept pulling on the string as you walked up, taking two stairs at once. Above you lived a guy in his fourties, a drunkard because his soulmate left him, likely for that. Ah, just because a soul was matching yours didn’t mean all of them received their happy ending, sometimes the human mind just didn’t live up to it.

You stood there, hesitant for a moment, your hand wasn’t shaking when you reached for the doorknob but to your surprise, the door was unlocked. It opened without a sound and you found yourself in the middle of a strange scene. The body of your neighbor was lying on the floor, but it didn’t seem as if he was breathing anymore, a shelf next to him, likely one sources of the noises, and then there was a handsome man around your age that was pulling on a string around his wrist. 

He was cursing and said something you did not understand but he didn’t notice you yet. His brown hair was dancing around delicate features with silver eyes starring at his wrist. His outfit was … a bit strange, maybe it reminded you a little of what you saw people wearing in deserts, oversized comfortable white gowns made of soft fabrics, hinting of the build underneath without showing too much, a satin scarf tied around his neck, ears adorned with a great number of earrings and piercings. They looked slightly pointed towards the end.

It was the moment he looked up that your gazes finally met and it was strange but it felt like looking in a mirror. Not because the two of you would look anything alike but there was something in his expression: you knew the gaze of eyes who had gotten adjusted to being alone because they looked back in form of your mirror’s reflection every morning for the past decade. 

He finally moved, fingers snapping as he seemed to rush to the bathroom.

“Hey! What happened here?” You finally found your voice and walked towards him but you stopped when you saw that the said bathroom door turned into something that seemed to be pitch black water. 

You were staring now and suddenly, pulled forward by your wrist. You stumbled over some pairs of shoes and made a soft sound, this was one time too many but as you tried to get up, the pull continued and before you knew it, your eyes remained on a red string. It looked like the one around your wrist but somehow it was going through the apartment now.

The stranger was busy trying to obviously walk through the water but it seemed, every time he tried, it turned into ice and very slowly, he turned around. 

“They can’t be serious, what’s this?!” For some reason, you were quite sure he was still speaking that strange language but now you understood it perfectly.

Your gaze finally completed the picture, following the red string from his wrist back to yours. As you slowly sat up, you gave it a strong pull and this time, it was him who fell, almost on top of you. He cursed and glared darkly at you.

“Stop doing this! No, this is not right!” he hissed and struggled back onto his feet but it was of no use, neither of you seemed to be able to remove that strange red string, if anything the more you tried the shorter it seemed to get. 

“No no, this can’t be no… oh no, what is this?” he started to walk up and down, and very slowly, you managed not to feel like you were going insane. Your eyes returned to your neighbor and you swallowed.

“Is he dead?”

The stranger shrugged as he bent his hair back: “What about it? His time was up. He got what he wanted, he should not have made such a fuss now that I had come to collect the payment.”

“Payment?” You were suddenly dragged to your feet and stared at him when you were so close. To your surprise, he was warm. It was silly, you figured maybe he was something like a grim reaper but he felt awfully alive like that.

“He sold his soul to me 25 years ago, half of his lifetime in exchange for his soulmate. The irony is, sometimes humans naturally shorten their lives by going for the bond. This outcomes is likely more pleasant than dying from a drunk liver.”

You shivered when he held your hand and when he tried to brush through the black water once again, it worked.  You could see how he swallowed and let go, snapping his fingers and it was just a door again. He was defeated, disappointed confused, scared?

“Stop reading my emotions!” he cursed and you blushed, having been caught for doing something you did not even know you could do.

“I do not really get half of what you are talking about … you got his soul… like in the children’s book?”

The stranger was frowning at you now, confused about the fact that there was such a thing, or maybe, he had no idea what it was? Wait, if you could experience his emotions, did that mean he also… oh. 

“I guess, whatever that means. Do you live inside of this place? Let’s go there.” He started to walk again and you were dragged, hissing: “Could you maybe stop doing this?!” Almost as he was about to tease you, he tugged on the red string again. “The sooner you follow me, the earlier we can cut this off and be done. I have to go back to hell and I won’t go there with you.” 

There were two emotions you sensed: the first one was that this was a lie, the second was desperation, maybe more doubt.

You never heard that any pair of soulmates ever managed to cut their bond, surely some tried but it couldn’t be done. 

Hongjoong’s eyes scanned through the small apartment. He had been a deal maker for around four hundred years, he saw all kinds of homes and this one was not really out of the ordinary. He noticed the broken plate on the floor, splattered with cake. The demon was trying his best to keep his thoughts collected, the last he needed for you was to be able to sense the truth.

He had no idea what was going on. It was easy, every demon found its soulmate within one hundred years of birth, with no exceptions. Until Hongjoong was born and when everyone found theirs, there was none for him. Thus two centuries passed and he simply dropped it. What was the point of being sorrowful about it? If hell said there was no demon for him, good! This job was annoying enough. Humans were silly creatures.

Hongjoong wasn’t the only one but one who took many calls, likely due to not having a soul to share, no reason to desire more resting times. It was the human who called for a demon, not the other way around. It simply was practical, they were so willing to give and demons no longer needed to be violent to regain the energy needed to ensure the balance of the world remained. Not that humans would like to know that either.

He always told them very well what was to take place, the price of it but they never listened. When the time was up and he showed to collect their life time, they grew violent just for not wanting to finish a business they got rolling.

Now, several parts about this made it hard to stay calm: First, why the fuck was his soulmate a damn human, and how was it that he found you now? Souls who did not make foolish decisions usually went into a cycle of rebirth so … where have you been all this time?

No, he was not going to fall into this now! He needed to cut this off before it was too late. Hongjoong’s eyes wandered back to you as you tugged on the string, cursing him since he ignored how you complaint about how you did not clean up, not knowing you'd have visitors and how you ignored him.

Reading the other’s emotion and a string limiting distance was a demonic trait of soulmates, not one of humans. No, theirs never was as intense and sincere, much simpler. Then he only was able to pass through the portal to the gate with you by his side, in touch which meant.

“What? Do you think I am not hot enough to be your soulmate?” you puffed your cheeks. For a human, you were taking all of those new lessons well, really.

If you did not manage to cut off the bonds tho, your time as a human was running out. It seemed that your soul already started to accustomed to his demonic presence and with this, you likely would turn into one. Then, there was no way for you to stay here, your life would be over, and thinking how human souls always begged not to leave behind what they loved...

“What’s with those dirty old shoes inside of a home?” he pointed out, finally giving you some kind of answer. It was of no use, while there was no reason to put you into a spiral of panic for the moment, it would be easier to think if you stopped treating him like a puppy on a leash.

“Before you make a big scene, yes I am a demon and yes, we do have soulmates. Then, this one is a little different, you see when your soulmate is near, the string around the wrist appears and usually, it only leads you together, you follow it and then, each keeps the one on the wrist but that’s it. With us demons, that is different. We experience everything more intense, and because we benefit from our soulmate bonds, in exchange we always have to be together, our radius to be able to walk away is short so I guess, when we threaten to leave, the string reminds us of that.”

You turned your wrist around, looking at the red string and then back to him. At least, you were quick-witted and smart because you already took notice that the string, while there, was invisible to all around you. Clothes, and objects, they just went through it like it was made of air but you could not separate, it kept your souls together and with that, the bodies.

“Can I ask some stupid questions?” you asked and Hongjoong shook his head. “Can I ask for your name? C’mon, you just said we are soulmates, what’s with all of this hesitation?”

“I told you, not to read my emotions!” You were far too good at it. Hongjoong was trying his very best to keep it at bay, somehow it seemed rude to do just that and he wondered when he suddenly became shy around a human. “Hongjoong, that’s what my name means in your human tongue anyway.” 

Yours already adjusted to his though, another warning sign that things were progressing fast.

“Hongjoong, it’s cute! I am,” you suddenly stalked closer, whispering your name to him and he was naturally withdrawing. “What are you doing?”

Oh, how you judged him for this, not only the way how your head tilted and you looked at him: “What is it? What makes you so displeased about me being your soulmate? Is it the look? The name, or because I am human?”

He was glad you did not know that he was considered abnormal because you were gone for so long and he had given up that you existed. Urgh again, he agreed with himself he did not need a soulmate! No, he could not get emotionally attached to you now, not more than the string already forced onto the both of you.

“I do not need a soulmate, my life is busy. I work a lot and demons aren’t permitted to stay in the mortal realm for long. I just told you, demonic soulmates cannot separate and since I am one, this means we are in a hassle.” 

You were so much worse than he expected. Please, where was the terror, the screams, the begging not to be tied to a monster?

“So, just take me along then, problem solved. You said you cannot go without me and it seems easier for me to go with you, I just text my coworkers I found my soulmate and I am running off with him. They likely think I am desperate enough for it.”

You said that with such lightless that for the first time, Hongjoong allowed his emotions to go through, that sense of confusion but mostly, he was finally trying to read yours properly, going deeper than the bits of curiosity, and annoyance. 

Your words were so lighthearted proving you must be used to being like that because deep down, he found a familiar, radiant pain. No, you did not say it because you were reckless and curious, you seemed to believe there was nothing for you here.

Hongjoong forced not to look through your apartment again, now wondering where it was, those human affection everyone held and it was only now that he foolishly admitted he did not look at it from your perspective. Human lives were short, you couldn’t be older than your 20s but with that, you waited for quite some time. 

His silver eyes remained on the splattered cake and he walked over, opening that metal box you all used for food storage. The cake inside told him what he needed to know to put it together. It was your birthday. Humans always celebrate them with their families and friends. You were alone, eating cake. 

“You caught me, it’s my birthday! So in theory, you owe me because I was in the middle of a celebration when your noises scared the hell out of me… I probably should not use this word as a joke anymore huh?” This time, your voice wasn’t as convincing and you bit your lip because you also slowly got used to the fact that the two of you could sense the other’s emotions.

Hongjoong did not want a soulmate. He got used to being alone. It might be silly, foolish even but the demon’s greatest fear was simple: finding his soulmate only to lose them again. You never could truly miss what you did not know but losing it after you had it, oh having felt it, after watching his friends glow up and be with theirs.

The moment he’d give into the longing, there wouldn’t be a way for him to let you go again.

He didn’t want to push the burden of being with him onto you. It would be a lonely life for a former human to live in hell with its limitations just to be called to desperate souls, uniting them with their soulmate only to know the grief you’d push them through by the time when you returned to claim them. 

It didn’t change, Hongjoong had no idea how to cut it off because deep down, he knew that there was no way but it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to save your soul. 

He would.

“Well, let’s celebrate your birthday then.”

This was not what you expected him to say. For the past half an hour, your soulmate ignored you, broadening about your situation and now, he wanted to celebrate your birthday? 

His emotions were confusing because they seemed to change all few seconds, going through confusion, being upset, and sometimes, sorrow. That one hurt, it reminded you of whenever people told you that your loneliness would end the day your soulmate would come into your life.

Nobody ever said how to deal with that creeping fear. Everyone you loved was gone, what if finding your soulmate meant hope just to have it ripped from you again? How funny, you spent so much time cursing and asking simply for a soulmate that could not die, one that was instructable when you were a teenager. Then, there was no way to lose them, right?

Now, this had come true quite literally. 

“What do you mean?” you asked as you watched him carefully taking out the cake and placing it on the counter. There were so many questions you had, about him and hell since it seemed, the two of you would spend… however long you would be able to live with him together there.

“Humans care about birthdays, we do not do that. I mean, we have celebrations but we do not put up those,” Hongjoong explained. You loved to listen to his voice, it was calm and pretty. Ah, he looked like an elf, the longer you thought about it, the less it seemed like a monster. Then, maybe they were like angels in stories, taking a more human shape to please the souls and scare them less but would he have to even try when he came to claim a soul? 

“How do you put these on…” he asked pointing at the candles. There was no way to chuckle about it and he seemed to blush just a little.” Guess, it means you cannot spy fire or something.” Your fingers opened one of the drawers and took out a lighter. 

“Well, first thing you have to learn is that just like humans have countries and differ in appearance, so are demons. It really is just an umbrella term but no, as I told you, I’m a collector. We collect the life energy so I do not steal your soul before you ask about it. That doesn’t work since soulmates exists and you need to find yours again.”

You paused, surprised that he suddenly was sharing so willingly about it and it made you wonder if that was because he was upset your thoughts were so cliche or if it was sincere. “Wait, you are telling me that humans are really reborn and then you have the same soulmate in all of them?”

Hongjoong hesitated before shrugging: ”Something like that? I can’t really go into details.” Somehow, you could sense there was a ‘now’ he did not dare to speak and it just further added to your suspicion that he was trying to hide something from you. He certainly had reasons to dislike you, hell you even could see that somebody living for centuries was not too keen to suddenly have what must feel like half a teenager stuck by his side but was it really all?

“Here, we have those. You push that little wheel and then it makes fire,” you showed it to him, offering the lighter to him. Hongjoong seemed hesitant before he took it and you admired how soft his hands looked, hell must have a pretty impressive skin care. 

It was cute to watch him struggling just a little with it but eventually, all of the five candles were lighted again, minus the one you removed earlier when taking a slice from it.

Hongjoong was holding up the cake and for the first time, you noticed his pretty eyes had no reflection. There was a wave of hesitation all over him and it really was hard to figure out just what was going on in his mind. 

“Here,” he offered it to you and you blinked.

“Actually, I already… wait a second.” You decided against mentioning how you already made a wish because he put the effort in and you did not want to be ungrateful, rushing over to pick up two juice glasses and some mineral water, uncertain if demons consumed alcohol and you honestly did not have any at home anyway.

You poured two before sitting down, smiling, and closed your eyes, thinking how you wished, you could live a life with him from the start. It sounded stupid considering you just met him but maybe then, it would be possible, to be comfortable instead of awkward. 

As you blew out the candles, his expression shifted, suddenly it was strangely soft like he was looking at an old lover he had not seen for a long time and he was just admiring you before being caught and clearing his throat, gaze torn away to place the cake back on the table. 

“Okay then, let’s eat some of it,” he said and cut another piece off, placing it on a plate. You offered him a glass and smiled: “We have to do a toast too, that’s important. Let’s drink, uhm to be good soulmates. Next life, let’s be happy together!”

Hongjoong was making a face, it was as if he was about to say something but he just sighed and accepted the water glass, toasting with you before emptying it. 

“Now eat, you should enjoy the food. We do not really eat in hell;” he mumbled and forced the plate on your lap before looking away again. You mumbled something but took it, this time enjoying the flavor and for some reason, you got sad to think how now you never would be able to tell Wooyoung in person how tasty the cake was or to see how his decorative skills would improve.

You bit your cheek, reminding yourself that the demon by your side could sense it and he already seemed so against your idea to simply go with him. Your decision did not change, it just really made sense in your eyes, you had a few friends, especially Woo but that was about it. Their lives would improve once they found their soulmates and go on without you, nobody would grieve for you being gone for long, it was just how it was.

People were always torn away from you and you were forced to suffer alone but nobody ever seemed to feel like that about you. If they did not die, they just walked out never to return.

“I don’t look like that!” Hongjoong’s offended voice tore you out of your thought train and you looked up, seeing him holding up the children's book, finger pointing at the scary monster. “Sure, I am not the only collector but none of us looks like this! Also, what’s this with we steal your soul and will just disappear if you close the door and speak our name!”

You could not hold back the laugh because the demon was taking this so awfully seriously, you could feel how he was annoyed by the portrayal of the demons who helped humans find their soulmates in exchange for their lives.

“Well, it’s supposed to be a scary story. In the eyes of the people, your kin is somewhat of a villain, you know? Making use of the insecure humans who just want to find their missing piece and soulmate,” you explained and Hongjoong’s eyes glanced over it again before dropping it. 

“Tch, it’s them who calls us and we actually put the effort in to look good, so it is not scary at all.” You leaned in and for the first time, dared to come a little closer to him. “So you look different in hell?”

 Your soulmate was studying you carefully, before shrugging: “Not necessarily, let’s say our features are a little sharper, some of us do have like wings or horns but I’d not say… I have a hard time to assume if you find it scary, humans seem so easily terrified.” 

Interesting, then nobody really could blame them for being upset when angels always were portrayed so beautifully although their original descriptions were rather terrifying.

“What are you doing?” Hongjoong froze the moment you grew bold and your hands rested on both of his cheeks. His breath lowered and he looked down, to see how your fingers brushed along his sharp jawline.

“You are beautiful, you know? I mean it, you really are. I almost feel a little ashamed I am so… simple,” you whispered and to your surprise, he was now turning the tables. His movement was so quick and sharp, you did not see it coming how he grabbed your chin gently, lifting it a little as his white eyes looked over your face.

“I do not see it, you being simple. You are pretty, to me anyway. We are soulmates, you could look any shape or form and we are still meant to adore each other, you know? Now, what do I do with you? Not afraid, eager to move to hell, being so bold with a demon. You really want to come with me?”

You swallowed, throat went dry when his voice was husky at the end, almost a little threatening. Then, very slowly, you nodded. The red string around your wrists relaxed it wasn’t as tense anymore as it was in the past hour.

Hongjoong looked at you for a moment before withdrawing and standing up, when he acted, he always confused you because his emotions never seemed to match. There was this odd feeling of guilt that came over your connection but you had little time to think of it. When he asked you, the last you expected was the snap of the finger and how he simply carried you through the black water.

Somehow, you figured you would have some time to text your goodbyes before moving casually to hell. 

Hongjoong dropped you carefully, watching your expression as you looked around. Ah yes, humans had very specific ideas of what hell would look like and you were likely surprised to realize, that some parts of it did not look so much alike to your own world. The part where most of the collectors resided was not unlike an oasis in the middle of a desert, with elegant buildings craved out of sandstone, vast plants, and plays of water rushing through the city.

“This is different,” you breathed, looking around like you just ended up on vacation. It was hard to deal with your strong emotions, it seemed as time passed by, the bond increased and Hongjoong grew worried about how much time he would have to safe you before you’d turn into a demon. 

It was hard to tell why he was so adamant about it. Was it really only because once he grew accustomed to you losing you would be too painful or was it something else? He could not shake off this fear of how he somehow knew you’d not be able to endure the life of a collector, how every human begging you not to take their life often at their happiest…

His thoughts were interrupted when Seonghwa came around the corner, he was humming, his soul string relaxed. This guy somehow managed to cheat the soulmate bond, maybe because his soulmate was just as gentle and trusting but also cheeky as the older demon. 

It was when his gaze landed on the human that he froze: “You?”

You turned around and Hongjoong was quick to step by your side, forcing you to stand behind you. Not that Seonghwa would pose any threat to you or well, anyone else. Demons were quite strict when it came to soulmates, it was a big thing here, much more than up there for you humans. Hurting another's soulmates was considered the biggest crime.

“It’s complicated… but you need to help us to cut it somehow,” Hongjoong lifted his hand, pulling gently on the string. He was a little taken back to see his best friend all confused as he was looking at you strangely before finally, Hwa’s golden eyes focused on him.

“Okay, slow down there, Joongie. You just found your soulmate, let’s ignore it’s a human, and you want to cut it, now why would any sane soul do this?”

“I agree,” you announced and then just walked past him, causing a blush on his cheeks when you seemed so trusting with Seonghwa like you had known him forever. 

“Nice to meet you! This guy talks about cutting it off since we met, although I told him how I am okay to come here! I mean, my human life isn’t awful or anything but I have an easier time just coming here with him.”

Seonghwa’s features softened too much and Hongjoong was not sure why this somehow felt unsettling. He was trying to get himself together and rushed back to your side: “Why give up a life up there? I am perfectly fine on my own and humans, they have to stop thinking soulmate is the only option… there are plenty of people to pick.”

His best friend looked at him with a gentle smile before poking his forehead: “How about you slow down a little there, sir? You know that there is no known way to break that bond other than death. Not for us, we aren’t humans.” 

Hongjoong opened his mouth to say something but was silenced by Hwa’s strict demeanor. “Why don’t you go and get your soulmate something more comfortable to wear? Since one of the two of you is relaxed, it should be fine. Relax, that way the string will give you some space.” The taller gave his best friend a shove and sighed, only mumbling to himself and walking off.

Hongjoong brushed a strain of hair behind his ear, as he focused to listen to the conversation. Down here, his instincts and senses worked perfectly. Ah, he should have known Seonghwa just would be so open with you. His fingers suddenly felt a little shaky when he went through his room, starting to find something that would fit you.

“He’s really tense… I almost think he does not like me,” you whispered and Seonghwa leaned in, delicate fingers curling a strain of long dark hair around his finger. “It’s because we demons find our soulmates right at the start. You see… we only have this one life. If we fade, that’s it. Humans can be reborn, so I guess, he believes that in your next life, destiny will fix this for you. Hongjoong... tells himself he has long accepted to not have one but look at that.”

Your curiosity was of no help, Hongjoong picked something that should look cute and pretty on you. Maybe it was not the worst idea while he figured out how to fix this mistake.

“If you only have one life… what becomes of your soulmate if you vanish?”

Your question was too bold, humans had no taste for when to be tender with questions as Seonghwa’s features indicated pain. Hongjoong knew there was somebody his best friend knew once who lost a soulmate and there was a rule which made it hard to deal with it.

“As we are immortal unless something causes our death and there is no rebirth for us... losing your soulmate is said to drive a demon insane,” Hongjoong started as he stepped by your side again. “Thus, there is a magic some may consider a curse or blessing. If your soulmate dies, unlike a human who keeps theirs, the string vanishes and the demon forgets about them. Other demons are forbidden to ever speak about it, so the pain will not resurface. It’s rare tho.”

Why were you so sad about this? It was not just the emotions coming over the string but also your features.

“But this seems so cruel? Not to be able to remember the person you spent your entire existence with. I understand it… the pain of loss, of having to go on but I always rather remember than be forced to believe I always was meant to be alone.”

Seonghwa was silent as you said it and Hongjoong stood there, a little lost before sighing: “Anyway. Here, we can get you something proper another time… it should fit you. As you see, we all somewhat wear similar styles, just with changes in detail. It’s always the heat of Summer down here, you will see why it’s more comfortable.”

You turned around smiling: “Thanks, I’ll go and change… uhm.” Hongjoong pointed towards the rooms he just came from: “That’s where I live, take your time.” 

He nodded and only glanced as you rushed off.

“Joong, do you really want to cut the bond?” Hwa’s voice was gentle and if he did not know it better, his best friend seemed almost mourning about it.

“It’s better, I do not think that my soulmate is fit for this life … I do not want to push a human soul through the pain of collecting life energy, I am not sure that …"

He did not need to finish it, Seonghwa understood and the two of them just stood there in silence. 

You suddenly felt yourself shivering, it was hard to explain and certainly hadn’t anything to do with your new clothes which were surprisingly light and comfortable. It seemed the fabrics of demons were woven differently from what you knew from the earth. Hands rubbed over your arms when Hongjoong walked to your side, sighing.

“How are we supposed to do this together? Look at you,” he frowned and you looked as innocently as possible: “What’s with that feeling? You feel it too but you do not seem to mind it at all.”

For a moment, Hongjoong was silent before he took your hand and started to walk with you through the city. It was a strange place, the buildings elegant and carved beautifully. The demons barely reminded you as such, even those who had less human traits than Hongjoong and his best friend.

“You know, Hell plays an important part in the balance of the world. Heaven, Earth, Hell. We are one big circle that supports each other, as odd as that sounds for a human. A part of hell deals with the souls of humans who need to be led back to a righteous part while also harboring … what you likely imagine when hearing demon. To ensure that all stays the way it is, we need energy, think of it like humans need the sun.”

It seemed he was leading you towards the tallest building in the center, for once you managed to stay silent, indicating you were listening and Hongjoong nodded as he continued:

“When humans started to reproduce in great numbers, the energy on earth became too much. Thus, we started to seek ways to slow it down, and as we need energy to keep this alive, humans gave us the answer themselves. When they started to summon demons in exchange for leading them to their soulmates, it was a natural decision. No harm would come to humanity, but help to balance the numbers of souls ever so eager to be reborn at once. You see, a soul isn’t directly reborn. It waits for the soulmate until a matching moment is found and only then do they come back. Ah, let’s not bore you with the detail.”

You wanted to disagree, just needing a moment to put his words into a larger picture as you walked passed a small crowd but nobody seemed to mind a human walked among them. 

You entered a room that looked surprisingly like a library just with files, Hongjoong seemed to naturally find the one he was looking for. He placed it on the table so you could have a look, a woman in her late 30s, made the pact at the young age of eighteen and you slowly understood, thinking of your neighbor.

“Because demons are so sensitive to soulmates, we can forcefully make the string appear and with that, find their soulmate. As I mentioned before, when they agree, the contract is written here but there is one thing humans often do not consider. Their lifetime can change, a reckless decision, an addiction. Somebody meant to reach the age of a hundred might live fifty years with their soulmate but shorten it to forty because of an addiction. That is not our problem tho. When their estimated time is up, you feel this shiver and you will know which one it is as you were the one to have made it.”

Before you could say anything, Hongjoong took your hand and this time, his grip was firm as he snapped his fingers and the water appeared. 

“I do not want to be cruel but I guess, the only way for you to see why you are not made for this is to see both by yourself. Soulmates work together, if you stay with me, every day, every call, you have to come with me, no exceptions.”

Suddenly, you stood in the middle of a fancy house, wide open doors showed a beautiful garden with a play of water and the humming sound of a woman who was watering her flowers. This was somebody wealthy but money could not give you a soulmate, right? “Do you know why she’d have died so early on?”

Hongjoong looked at you, nodding: “It is part of the note but sometimes, it is better not to know too much.” With that, he let go of your hand but the string soon forced you to follow as he stepped outside and the woman turned around. The moment she saw Hongjoong’s beautiful features, she grew pale.

“No,” she gasped, the water jug dropped to the ground, spilling clear water everywhere. “It is much too early! You cannot be here yet, it must be a mistake.” The average human life was anticipated to be around eighty to ninety, now many even reach their hundred. You were not surprised how she must be surprised to face death now, like that. Beautiful but sharp.  

“Your death date has been concluded and thus, I am here to collect the price in exchange for our deal made. It will be quick, you won’t feel a thing,” it was odd for Hongjoong, who usually spoke with so much impatience or worry, to lack any emotion. You swallowed as you reminded yourself how this had been his life from the beginning of his existence and based on his words, he must have lived for quite some time already.

“No listen, my daughter, she’s just done with high school! I just need a few more years!” the woman begged but the demon seemingly remained unaffected. 

"We have fulfilled our part of the deal, now it is time for you to do so as well.”

Her gaze was a mixture of hatred and desperation as she grabbed him, starting to shake your soulmate: “Is this all you monsters have to say?! You make use of poor humans in misery, longing for their other part, and then just treat us like objects! You truly are a monster. Bless god, my daughter already found hers, I will not have to worry she will lose her soul to such a monster like you.”

This was the moment her eyes fell on you, staring like she barely could make sense that a monster would have a soulmate and it made you wonder if it meant those affected by a pact could see the red string connecting your wrist.

“How can you?!” she did not get a chance to finish her sentence, Hongjoong snapped with his fingers and she simply fell to the ground like she just lost consciousness. You swallowed as you watched a ball made of radiant white and golden light seemingly leave the body, the golden one going up, while Hongjoong took the white into his hand and made it disappear.

“It’s a quick death, it just stops. She has not committed any crimes, her soul will remain in the good realms until her soulmate has passed as well and they can start over”, Hongjoong concluded and looked at you.

It was the moment the door opened and a man walked in. You noticed how his red string looked different from yours, it was clean like it was made of one piece rather than the cut-off ends that indicated the connection to another. 

The moment he saw his wife’s body, the sound of his voice, your heart cracked and Hongjoong could sense how you thought of him as cruel, for forcing you through experiencing all of it. He did not pull you away, offered no comfort and did not let you go back to hell because he wanted you to see what it meant to make a pact with the devil, the villain of the story of desperate soulmates.

You hated how tears dwelled at the edge of your eyes but you were not sure why, death stopped touching you such a long time ago.

When you received news of your mother's passing, it was first hard, by the time your grandmother left as well, did you really get used to it or did you barely alter yourself focusing on the memory of the calm face that looked at you in the mirror, asking if being alone wouldn’t be easier, kinder.

Finally, the familiar snap appeared and Hongjoong led you back to hell. 

“Do you want a blanket? I can get you one if you are cold,” Hongjoong’s voice was soft, worried. When you came back, you just curled up as a ball on his bed. The thought of this repeating tomorrow was hard, could you get used to it? You’d have to! Not only because you talked so boldly about being fine like this, but it was not as if you had an option.

Did you want an option?

It wasn’t your question but a wave of emotions formed into words coming from him. Hongjoong had tried to be soft, caring even and it was strange. Finally, he seemed to have enough of your lack of answers, he sat down at the edge of the bed and gently but forcefully turned you around.

Tears remained in your eyes and his fingers were so gentle, it almost broke you. For a moment, you imagined what it would have been like to meet Hongjoong as a human. Somehow, you thought how he would have been somebody gentle and kind, maybe a painter, focused to find beauty in the detail or a florist, creating art that made hearts bloom.

Why was he born a demon, forced to do this work alone?

Alone. No, he wasn’t alone anymore. You should get yourself together! Maybe there was a reason for it, maybe not but it was on you to make the most out of this bond.

“Stay with me,” you whispered and his arms curled around you, pulling you close. “Not like I can go anywhere,” he teased and you chuckled. “True.” 

You allowed your face to burry against his neck, only noticing now how he had this faint scent of wildflowers, maybe a herb your grandmother used for tea, it was hard to tell why but it was familiar, like you once were used to have it around you.

“Tell me about you,” you whispered after a while, no longer crying as his hand kept gently rubbing over your back, his chin resting against your hair so you could hide against his chest from the world. “What do you want to know?” he asked, thoughtful as his movements held for a moment. 

“Mh, anything? We can skip food, since you say you do not eat but what do you like to do? What are your hobbies? Placed to go, things to do? Let’s pretend there are no stupid rules or limitations.”

He chuckled again: “You always ask the big questions or too many at once but let’s see… I like to paint or I used to. For a while, I had the feeling like there was something important I forgot and it would help me remember but all I got together were places I saw but whose meaning seemed odd. Sometimes, on days when the hours I have up there are not spent on work, I like to walk the human world at night. The fake lights making your cities look so breathtaking from afar, fireworks, the scents of food. People just going by with their lives with so little worry about their futures. I also like the beach, we do not have oceans here, not ones made of water.”

It was fascinating to imagine Hongjoong, just walking along those places, eyes bright and shining like the ones of a child.  “We should go and do that then, you know? I can show you a few, we eat food, explore the beach and look at the fireworks. It is Summer now, a good time.” Hongjoong fell silent for some time, you could feel the heavy sorrow like he just was reminded of something.

Maybe he just made a decision.

“I would like that.”

The next two days felt like a familiar fever dream. Waking up holding you in his arms, the way you smiled at him so easily like he was not the one who stole your life, your careless curiosity, the way you enjoyed exploring the city, endless stories to share which made him wonder why you spent your birthday alone.

For a moment, Hongjoong was weak. Suddenly, he enjoyed it, the idea of having you by his side, how it could be like if you remained with him, the life shared together but the day he woke up and started to note the little changes to your features, the way how your ears were a little more pointed.

He realized time was ticking. Soon, he would have to make a decision or there wouldn’t be a way around it. Little did he know how he would find his answer when the call was sudden, a harsh painful cry for a demon to appear. 

You dropped a plate of colors as you felt it, wincing and Hongjoong was quick to be by your side, cupping your cheek: “Don’t worry, it is okay. It is rare for summons to be so sharp, they usually are a little more … desperate.”

It was hard to tell if fate was just cruel tho, to force this one on the two of you after a few peaceful days without interruption. “Are you ready to go?” he asked and you looked at him, hesitant but nodding, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze: “Let’s go.”

The apartment you stepped in was a mess. Books and papers laid around, clothes, a black cat plushie and the smell of freshly baked goods. Nothing he hadn’t seen before. 

It was your reaction that made him pause, the sharp gasp when you inhaled, the shiver that run through your body but before Hongjoong even had time to ask, tears rushed down your cheeks, and the one who called stepped out of the bathroom. 

It was a handsome man around your age, long black waves falling into his face, a jacket clinging to the shoulders. His eyes were wet, the vibe a mixture of desperation and pain. Finally, Hongjoong’s eyes stuck on a photograph. A graduation scene, him and you, posing together with your degrees.

“You are the demon that can find my soulmate?” he asked voice husky, indicating he must have cried for some time.

“Wooyoung?” as you called out his name, the man looked at you. It was hard to tell if it was a curse or a blessing at this point, because you came with the demon and the progress of change started, he did not recognize you anymore.

“You have a soulmate?” he swallowed, his gaze was on you for a moment. Zhe hard gasp leaving your lips were hard to endure. When you moved, Hongjoong just froze. “No, Wooyoung listen! You do not need to do this! Your soulmate will come to you in time, do not give up your life time for this!”

Finally, the demon acted and pulled you back. There was a simple rule, if a demon answered a call, no going back. If the humans wished for the pact, it would happen. The way you tried to free your wrist was hard to take but Hongjoong was firm.

The human seemed confused as he watched the scene, not understanding why the demons meant to help him would suddenly tell him not to.

“I want to do it. I just lost another person … I can’t go on and wait to be alone. I rather die young being loved than be alone most of my life. Do it.”

He was talking about you, both of you knew it and somehow, it finally gave you the rest. You sunk to your knees and cried, the air full of tension. Hongjoong tried his best to deal with the emotions through your bond and it was hard, he felt dizzy and overrun by your grief and sorrow but eventually, he managed. The red string appeared but it was made of a single piece, with no ends for a string.

Wooyoung looked at it before Hongjoong found his voice: “I must reject it. There is nothing I can do for you.”

Confusion radiated from both of the humans and Wooyoung made a step towards the demons.  “What do you mean by that?!” Hongjoong paused. There was one, rare occasion, where even the willingness of a human was pointless: if the soulmate already passed away. It happened often, it was fo those who waited all thei life, thinking how they never found this one person. 

“Your soulmate already passed over for the next life. In this one, go and find a love that your heart longs for, not so much your soul. It does not have to be any less fulfilling just because it is not made of a string.”

This time, Hongjoong spared you the reaction of your best friend, he dragged you through the water before any of you could witness it.

As you dropped on the floor of his home, you cried, you would not stop at all but Hongjoong did not have the cruelty to go down and try to soothe you. Somehow, he knew you would reject it.

“He won’t remember this, the moment we leave, he just will have this realization that he knows his soulmate will not find him but as I already told you… there will be a next life.”

Of course, it offered you no comfort. The tears would not stop. Finally, Hongjoong swallowed and he went on his knees, he was terrified for you to push him away because hewas about to steal the life of likely the one human you did care for, the one that baked you the cake and he did not even hesitate.

To his surprise, you allowed him to pull you closer, burying your face against his shoulder.

And as he held you, experienced every one of your emotions, he knew. You were not meant for this life and now, the answer was simple.

When he first waited to find you, he always said he’d do anything for his soulmate, once they would be together, make them happy. In a time before he told himself he was better off alone.

He would protect your soul now too, which would wither like a flower if you stayed.

There was no way to cut the string of souls.

Except one.

“You look different…” you looked at him. Seeing Hongjoong in streetwear, he was almost looking human, just a little prettier than any you encountered. “Blue hair would suit you well, you know? Goes with your white eyes.”

Hongjoong blushed, this was the first time he was doing it so obviously but it made you giggle. “What about it? I do not get why you guys like those jeans so much… the tank top is okay but why do you wear it when you need a jacket on top? Wouldn’t it be easier simply to wear a long sleeve to begin with?”

You still were surprised when he took you to a mall earlier, asking you to pick an outfit for him and then, one for yourself. It took your hours but he insisted on taking your time. Of course, you guessed he wanted to distract you from what happened yesterday, something you tried your hardest to push aside, forget but Wooyoung’s face still haunted you in your dreams. 

Maybe this was a good idea, getting out for a little, spending time with your soulmate. You could not just let Hongjoong down, could not tell him this was too much for you, not after all you forced him through, promises you made so carelessly.

“It’s because if it gets hot, you just take off the jacket and won’t sweat but if a wind is coming up, feel warm and snuggly. You also can give it to your partner, you know? That way, they can show it off, it’s like a more comfortable way of soulmate string.”

Hongjoong just looked confused but you liked it, your arms curled around him as he snapped his fingers and opened a portal. It must be late afternoon, the smell of the ocean was quite strong, and there were many voices, giggles of couples, and laughs of families alike.

A festival? Ah, that was right, there was one around a week after your birthday. Had only such a little time past by since you met Hongjoong? Just one week? 

“I was thinking, you could get us some food, we do… whatever humans do here and then, enjoy the fireworks.” Hongjoong seemed almost shy, forcing his gaze away as he asked you to go for that. It was almost like a date and the thought excited you! “Leave it to me, we can do all of the things. Ah, is it okay to be like this?”

You gently tugged on his arm and his gaze met you, it was soft and loving as he nodded: “I do not mind it. Humans can see us since we came here on our own accord but they should not spend any special notice of us, since my magic shelters us just enough.” 

You thought again of just how warm he was, the way his skin was soft and he smelt so nice, like a memory. “Noted, I promise it will be fun and then we can go back in no time.” Hongjoong shook his head: “Don’t worry… about that. Just let’s have fun okay? Like there is no tomorrow.” 

Ah, he was always so dramatic but then, this surely was his first time here, so you wanted to make the most out of it. 

You did not waste time, you dragged him over to all kinds of stalls, all the times you watched others do this with their lovers. There were silly games where you had to catch rubber ducks, the owner was sure Hongjoong was cheating just because he was too good at it.

Food was a whole different thing, demons were not required to eat, but they could if they wanted to although, Hongjoong noted how their flavor wasn’t as developed as the one of a human. Still, you ended up buying some chocolate strawberries and feeding them to him slowly. The way his face flushed when he dropped the first, nervous when he was chewing the second, and deciding how he liked it. Everything was new to him and his curiosity was quite obvious shared over your bond.

It was good because it helped you to relax and forget about the worries for a little. The sun was sinking deeper when there was a cliche moment, of somebody playing music and couples watching, some dancing and enjoying the play of the violin with an acoustic guitar. 

“I always wanted to learn how to play one of those but then I just skipped it, didn’t have the patience,” you admitted, pointing at the violin. Hongjoon hesitated, lurking over to a human couple before he placed himself right behind you, arms curled around your waist as he rested his chin on your hair.

This time, it was you who blushed but you relaxed into the hug, allowed to enjoy his presence, the way how your heart was beating louder now. “Learn it, you never are too old to learn, you know? Even if it takes a long time, do what your heart calls for, remember that the only limits are the ones given by yourself and social expectations. You are not too old to learn, and you can be happy without your soulmate, love will be there if you want it.”

His words touched you and you looked up, trying to get a glimpse of his face but he did not move. “Well, I have a soulmate so I do not have to worry about that.”

You chuckled and for a moment, you were sure to catch his smile before he let go of you, squeezing your hand as he nodded towards the beach. “It will get dark soon. We should head to the beach, for the fireworks. I’d like a spot alone for us.”

Was it already this late? “Ah sure, let’s go!”

Hongjoong helped you to get over some rocks which were intended to keep people away but it did not seem to bother the demon. He held you gently as he led you down a path and found just the perfect spot in the sand. As you sat down, he noticed your shiver and obviously, remembered something. Hongjoong stripped out of his jacket and placed it over your shoulder.

It was the moment when your gazes met and if you did not know better, it seemed his heart was breaking. Thre was a brief moment of sadness but it was washed away by happiness so quickly.

“You know, I lived a long life, and I think, considering all, it was a happy one. I look at it and I think, I received everything a demon could hope for.”

His hands cupped your face once more and you blinked: “What’s with all of this past tense?” You wanted to sound casual but somehow there was a hint of worry, like you should be alarmed but your thoughts were interrupted once more as you kissed.

You gasped because the kiss was far too familiar to be a first one like the body remembered something the mind did not. Slowly, your eyes shut and you gave yourself into it, it was sweet and tender, longing for one another. Your arm curled around his neck and for some time, you simply remained just like that, only interrupted by the cracking explosion of fireworks over the sea, the sun now gone for good. 

Hongjoong gently broke the kiss, his fingertips brushing your hair away as he smiled, this was the happiest smile you had seen from him.

“Let’s enjoy the firework”, he whispered and pulled you closer, his arm curled around your shoulder. You snuggled against him and only slowly, forced your gaze to look at the colorful lights painting a picture over the ocean. You had seen many fireworks before but this one felt more breathtaking.

“Y/N…” Hongjoong mumbled.

“Hm?” 

“You should always celebrate your birthday, you know? Make it big, go and wish for whatever you want. Eat cake at the busiest places.”

“Mh, we can do that together,” you nodded.

“I’d have liked to celebrate more birthdays with you cause I hate the thought of you doing it alone,” he whispered.

Finally, the fear set in with you as you turned around and noticed how soft white light was radiating from Hongjoong’s body, something you saw before, a soul passing.

“Why would you say that?” you whispered. Oh no, no no.

Hongjoong smiled: “Live a happy and silly long life, okay? You got still good sixty years ahead of you, do all those things you want to.”

He was disappearing. Seonghwa said the only way for a demon to die was when something harmed them or they spent too much time in the human world. But you weren’t here for longer than maybe four hours… but it was based on a week, not a day. The shopping trip. Oh no.

“Don’t leave me,” you whispered but he tightened his embrace again. 

“You aren’t alone, silly. People are here for you, maybe not the way you think of them but here, for birthday cakes and text messages. To love you. Just trust it.”

Hongjoong looked at you and smiled, his hand placed on top of your head, ruffling your hair.

“But I want to be with you! Hongjoong!” you called out but the sad smile already told you that it was both, too late and him having made up his mind.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I need you to live a long and happy human life, okay? I won’t ever forget you.”

He leaned in, his lips closed as he slowly seemed to vanish. “Close your eyes,” he pleaded. As you looked at him, you regreted how little time you spent with him, how you did not just sit down, admiring his beauty for hours and... and you tried your best to close your eyes when the tears would not stop following.

Please, not again, not again. Please, do not take him away from me.

You begged to somebody, anybody but just as all the times before, they would not answer you.

As you kissed you, the sob ran through. 

“Thank you, Y/N, for finding me,” he breathed. He did not need to say it, you felt it. Once and for all, as clear as the sky above your head.

Hongjoong loved you. It was such a strong feeling, overwhelming but comforting, you wanted to whisper it back but it was stuck. Yet, somehow you felt he was smiling like he was telling you he knew you felt the same. As he leaned back, you felt his breath tickling your face, his hand on top of your head.

“Count to ten,” he whispered. You forced your eyes to remain shut, counting. Yet his picture in your mind clear as the day.

The confusion when you first met, the little annoyance, the blush, the look in the morning and his smile earlier.

10…9 … 8…. 7 …. 6

“Next time,” he whispered.

5… 4… 3…

“I’ll find you,” you promised.

…2

"Please wait for me."

….1.

The last firework exploded over your head and you opened your eyes. You blinked, confused and looked up. “Uh, what the fuck? Why am I crying over some fireworks?” Fingers stopped as you tugged on a jacket that was far too big for you but you liked the scent, wildflowers, something familiar.

As you carefully made your way up to the road again, you still did not manage to stop crying, just what was it? Some threw glances at you as you must seem like you just had the worst week of your life. Why was your heart so full of sorrow?

“Y/N? Hey, there you are, I was looking for you the entire week and then your location was very vague! Are you okay?”

Wooyoung’s face showed up and you blinked, his slender hands reached for your face and he scanned over you to see if you were injured, maybe hurt somehow. “How did you find me?” you asked, just to say anything but your friend seemed confused about the question. 

“You sent a text?” he pulled out his phone. “I admitted it didn’t sound like you but then, you did not show up at work for a week. I guessed something must have happened.”

A week huh? You looked at the text, coming from your number and this was the first time you noticed that little heart next to your name, making your cheeks heat up. 

text: firework, today, pick me up after. thanks.

Why was that? Then suddenly, it hit you like a realization and you looked up to Wooyoung. Ah, this was why it was hurting so much.

“I figured out that my soulmate is already… gone. I guess, as much as I always said it’d be fine without one… learning there really isn’t one was a bit much., especially if you never really met... or well, I am not sure how to describe the feeling”

Wooyoung seemed to be surprised before understanding: ”It’s probably insane but…same?” For a moment, the two of you just stood there, people passing by who went on their way home after the firework was done and the festival shut for the day. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” his voice was soft, and there was some colors on his cheek. For a moment you looked at him and realized, Wooyoung had been part of your life for so long, always putting effort in but you had been so busy with your loneliness that you overlooked it.

Now you saw him clearly.

“I’d like that.”

Seonghwa relaxed against the small food stall, the owner ever so busy preparing more snacks. His soulmate joined him, a sweet smile on her lips as she followed his gaze. 

You and Wooyoung were chasing one another along the sandbank before he would catch you and pull you into his arm, soft kisses given to one another. The two humans seemed relaxed and happy, with each of them having a red string attached to their wrist, made of one piece, indicating their soulmate already moved on from this life, waiting in the next.

“I admit, I did not believe it was possible,” Seonghwa sighed but he was smiling. “Demons aren’t reborn but then, maybe they are? I am not sure if these two demons just have been so excellently stubborn that they managed to define our nature.”

His long arm curled around his soulmate, placing a kiss on top of her hair. 

He remembered the day like it was yesterday, the way how your past life looked at him so confidently, you never lacked confidence once you made your mind. When you knew you could not live for eternity like that, collect souls because you knew, Hongjoong would not be able to withstand it forever. He just was telling himself it was what he would do. How he dreamt of all those human things, caught in a life of pain. So when you left a century ago to set it into motion, so he could able to be free with you one day, you did so thinking he’d follow you no matter what.

Seonghwa's gaze lingered on your wrist. A demon’s string disappeared when they died, it made sense why yours was gone until you met Hongjoong. You weren't a demon anymore but human, his fading when you died the first time but returned once reunited. Fate never changed its mind once picking soulmates for one another.

Seonghwea sighed, looking up: “I bet, my best friend is somewhere vibing right out there, grinning like an idiot because he really managed to be reborn as a human, forever together with his beloved.”

He laughed: “Good! I do not expect anything but many happy lives from now on, Joongie.”

A life or so later …

“Y/N, you need to bring a date,” Wooyoung wined on the other line of the phone. It was hard to ignore your best friend even while being in the middle of a painting class. “It is my wedding, just bring anyone, really! I get it, you are super old-fashioned waiting around for Mister Soulmate, whom I feel sorry for based on your expectations: handsome, warm, smelling like flowers. Not easy to fulfil all of that”

You rolled your eyes as you dropped the brush and looked at your piece of art. “Well, being a professional violinist and having a needy best friend already keeps me busy, so I am good. If you care, I will bring somebody for the wedding. Now go, you do not want to miss your final suit fitting.” Wooyoung muttered but ended the call.

“Mh, this is familiar,” Jongho suddenly appeared next to you, making you jump. “How are you so quiet?” You asked but your fellow art lesson classmate grinned at you: “Secret, but I mean it. I think, there was a similar painting. Ah, wait a moment.”

He returned with a flyer from the art class: “Here, it’s one of the examples. It was painted by a former instructor a few years ago, Oasis in the desert. I mean, it isn’t exactly the same but it’s the same place? You said you just painted it out of your imagination?”

You could not deny how striking similar they were, just that you were by far not as talented as this person, barely an amateur painter as a small escape from your busy life as a violinist. ”Not at all… maybe it was a photo I once saw.”

Jongho frowned a little: “If you say so… You could just ask him tho? He’s a famous painter these days but I heard, he was giving a lecture today, on the other side of the building.”

You made a face, wanting to say if that would not be a bit strange but decided to keep the thought for yourself. “Anyway, I have to go. Need to get a wedding gift, I see you for the next class.” You waved, taking your bag and making your way to the exit.

It was the noises of falling shelves making you jump. You looked around until you noticed an open door of one of the art rooms. As you took out your phone, just in case it was an emergency, you paused.

“Hell?”

You blinked, looking at a red string around your wrist. For a moment you paused, in awe that it showed. You heard about it but you were about to give up. The noise again, a gentle hiss and you finally forced yourself to move.

A head of blue hair caught your attention first as you entered the scene of a few dozen empty canvases having fallen over and likely in an attempt to pick them up, led to more fall down, just that the man now was busy tugging on a string on his wrist.

There it was so clear, the red string, it remained visible just for your gazes to meet before all that was left were the strings, indicating that they had another end it belonged to.

“Are you okay?” you asked, unable to hide that little grin as your soulmate’s cheeks flushed and he managed to get himself up.

“Uhm, yes! I was trying to prepare an art lesson! Well, it seemed the art disagreed with me there,” he blinked and you could not deny how pretty he was. The blue hair seemed a little strong against his pale skin and features that almost felt a little unnatural for a person, too many piercings decorating his ear, an oversized jacket clinging to his shoulder like it was meant for somebody else.

“Need some help?” you asked and closed the door. He looked at you, almost lost when you stepped to him.

“That would be nice,” he whispered and blinked, pressing a hand against his eyes. “Uh… I swear I usually do not cry when I am meeting people.” Yet there he was, crying and somehow, you almost felt as if you could feel it.

“No worries, I get that,” you replied and closed the distance, suddenly hugging him.

He smelt like somebody familiar and before you know it, his arms curled around you. “Took you long enough, I was waiting forever,” you whispered, not sure why you said it.

It felt right and somehow, he knew exactly what you meant.”

Hongjoong sighed: “Sorry for being late.”

closing note: if you read up till here, thanks a lot. it was meant to end with hwa's pov but you know.

[alllsunday]

A few thoughts on how Portgas D. Ace is the epitome of the Tragic Hero. For one, his entire life was a tragedy.

“A tragic hero is the protagonist of a tragic story or drama, in which, despite their virtuous and sympathetic traits and ambitions, they ultimately meet defeat, suffering, or even an untimely end. They are often imperfect or wounded with some sort of fraught experience, and typically have some sort of fatal flaw.”

He fits the criteria :

1.) “High status/noble”

Ace is the sole heir of the notorious Pirate King and the only known female Will of D carrier. Yes, he’s not a noble, but he is obviously a high status pirate and a person with the “noble” qualities Aristotle was talking about even if he wasn’t literally one. Honourable, generous, polite.

2.) “Flawed”

The fatal flaw (hamartia) that brings about the hero’s downfall, destruction caused by their own hands. In Ace’s case … well, if I had to narrow it down, I’d say wrath, arrogance, and never backing down were the most key to his downfall, but the title of #1 has to go to his hubris (excessive arrogance/pride). It was because of this he went to Wano to challenge Kaido, the monster not even Oden could slay. Izou himself pointed out Ace’s arrogance. It was because of this he challenged Whitebeard, went after Teach, and ultimately ended in tragedy. Ace had been the strongest almost his entire life, losing was.. new. It doesn’t matter, cause everytime Ace is in a situation where he fucks up he always gets himself out of it, and when it comes to fighting as a whole, strength is his one constant. Even in the face of Teach’s power, he underestimated him, thinking that he’d win, which brings me to my next point :

3.) “A reversal of fortune”

“The character should suffer a terrible reversal of fortune, from good to bad. Such a reversal does not merely mean a loss of money or status. It means that the work should end with the character dead or in immense suffering, and to a degree that outweighs what it seems like the character deserved.”

Ace was a traumatised and heavily wounded character who spent his childhood suffering. It was not quite a childhood. As an older teenager, he was tearing up the world of piracy (the first pirate of the new generation, super rookie, all at an insanely fast rate, even much moreso than Luffy) before joining Whitebeard and settling down. Though not eradicated, his internal struggles cooled down slightly. Maybe by the time he was a fully wisened man and not a boy fresh out of his teenage years, he could have been on the road to healing - but his belief that he could obviously beat Teach, his subordinate, was the catalyst for the events that were to come.

It was seemingly going alright - Ace had fit in, made friends, had the family he had so needed.

That flipped over almost instantly, and ended in his painfully premature death. During the fight, Ace realised he’d been overconfident. But this time he couldn’t back it up. Teach had won.

On his deathbed, Ace finally realised that he wanted to live. Death was the thing he’d wondered about for his entire life, and now that he was actually on the brink of it - he had changed his mind. After 20 years, he genuinely wanted to keep going for the first time. Yet it was snatched away from him.

To add insult to injury, Sabo’s death, one of Ace’s many traumatic experiences, ended up being a misunderstanding. Sabo was alive and didn’t remember him… until he had died.

[wutheringskies]

Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian aren't the same.

Jin Guangyao is one of the best written characters I've come across. A villian that doesnt look like one, doesnt act like one, is likeable, has strong motivations and a defined personality and extremely fun to read fanfics about. But what I dislike is the role that fanon gives him; specially his role in the story with allusions to Wei Wuxian, casting Jin Guangyao as someone similar to Wei Ying. The "poor children turned to forced villains" trope. This meta is about WHY that's NOT true.

The humiliation of his mother didn't give him the right to burn down an entire brothel. (personally, I found it satisfying but). The desire of acceptance from his father was a motivation for his crimes, not a factor that validates those crimes. Often, Jin Guangyao is treated as the counter part of Wei Wuxian. They both share only three similarities, however:

1. Both came from low backgrounds and struggled a lot in their childhoods. Meng Yao had food, but witnessed constant humiliation. Wei Ying had nothing, and then got tangled into the fucked up dynamics of the Jiangs.

2. Both were found to be much different than what people believed them to be. Wei Wuxian was supposed to be evil, hateful, a murderer who kills just to satisfy his blood thirst and need for power, a monster. Jin Guangyao was supposed to be the guy who worked hard and rose to the top, humble, kind, honest and pure of heart.

3. Both had their reputations destroyed from targeted rumor mill.

That is all.

Other than that, Jin Guangyao is NOT at all similar to Wei Wuxian by any measure. He had to do bad things because he desired power, and to gain, power in a corrupt world, you need to be even more corrupted. He killed all those who looked down upon him (not bodily harm him). He clenched his teeth and killed everyone who protested against him or questioned him. He silenced everybody before they could silence him. He isn't SOLELY responsible but he only played the cards that would bring HIM benefit, not the cards that were righteous, or good, or kind.

Wei Wuxian never desired power, was willing to give up a limb for the safety of his sect. When has he ever raised his sword or his flute if not in self defense? When has he ever attacked first and when has he ever killed an innocent? The only innocent he's most directly responsible for is Jin Zixuan and that was too, in an ambush, where he was asked to back down.

Not just that, everyone is always talking about the Nightless City massacre but never about the Burial Mounds Seige 2.0 where all of the cultivators WOULD have DIED, if not for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

If your reasoning behind justifying Jin Guangyao's actions and murders is the "intention" then you come across as hypocritical if you condemn Wei Wuxian for the Nightless City massacre, ignoring everything that led to it. His prowess in cultivation, his natural genius, and his terrifying powers that he built himself even after losing a core are not crimes that he should be punished for, but he was. Because he's supposed to be just the son of a servant. How dare he be so powerful? So many attempts on his life were made and he survived them all. So many attempts to summon his soul, and they didn't work.

Is surviving a crime? For the Jiang Cheng stans who always thrust the survivor narrative onto JC, this is a question for them. Was Wei Wuxian wrong to have survived incidents in which he was being attacked? Should he have died for doing absolutely nothing wrong, other than having a different voice? For standing against a structure that always prioritizes one being above all, being the ultimate voice that cannot be questioned?

Here I'm going to quote some parts from the ExR translation of Villanous Friends:

He Su, “What was the irresistible trend? What was stirring up trouble? Jin GuangShan wanted to establish the position of chief cultivator only to imitate the QishanWen Sect in being the only ones at the top. Do you think all the world is ignorant? You frame me like this only because I spoke the truth!”

When you really succeed, all of the world of cultivation would see the true face of the LanlingJin Sect. Do you think killing me alone would put you eternally at ease? How wrong you are! We, the TingshanHe Sect, teem with talent. From now on, we’ll unite and never surrender to you Wen-dogs of another skin!”

Sounds familiar?

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it?”

Wei WuXian added, “Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

These were voices that questioned the greater powers. This is what happened to these voices:

Jin Guangyao: That’s not the way to go about things, is it? The TingshanHe Sect rebelled and schemed to assassinate Sect Leader Jin with all its forces before it was caught red-handed. How could that be called without a reason?”

Flashback to Wen Chao, asking if the disciples in the Xuanwu Cave were rebelling when they protected Mianmian who was asked to be the live bait of a monster.

Also, flashback to Wei Wuxian standing up for the Wens and being called a rebel when he stood up for the Wens who were being used as live baits to strengthen the Jin.

The ones over there cried, “Brother! He’s lying! We didn’t, we didn’t!”

Flashback to Wen Ning "losing control" at Koi Tower probably due to Xue Yang's invention. But the point to be taken away is that Sect Leader He Su's younger disciples, who are harmless, are framed as murderers. A position similar to what Wei Wuxian was put into.

He Su, “Utterly nonsense! Open your eyes and fucking look! There are nine-year-old children here! Old men who can’t even walk! How could they rebel against anything?! Why would they assassinate your dad out of nowhere?!”

Funny how the evils of society comprised of old grandmas, uncles, a toddler, a doctor, a fierce corpse, and a cultivator with no status, no core, no money, no voice living in a cave with a pool of blood, digging the Burial soil to grow some potatoes.

And not those who were sitting on their thrones, reveling in riches and ordering people around.

Jin GuangYao, “Because you made a mistake and committed murder, Young Master He Su, while they refused to accept Koi Tower’s conviction of you, of course.”

"A mistake" reminds me of the incident at qionggi path. Even if Jin Zixuan hadn't died that day, they would've kept cornering Wei Wuxian until he'd have no other choice but to go on the offensive (which is what he did.)

Turns out even being sooo powerful that he could shake mountains, he eventually died.

Yet, at such a place, nobody would listen to his protests. Sitting before him were two villains who already treated him as though he were dead. What they enjoyed was precisely his dying struggle. Smiling, Jin GuangYao leaned back, waving his hand, “Hush him up, hush him up.”

"You shut them in live?"

Xue Yang turned around, curling his lips, “Wei WuXian never used live humans, but I wanna try.”

So, Xue Yang is an actual demonic cultivator who's protected by the Jins, murdered 2 entire clans and this is the third one and godness knows how many more. Absolutely very few people give actual fucks about what cultivation methods to employ. The one who really cared was perhaps, Lan Wangji.

Jin Guangyao as you can see isn't being "forced" to kill people because he's of lower birth and nobody accepts him :(

He's killing people to silence those who speak against his and his father's (and they both are one and the same entity. he's acting on his father's orders which he could've disobeyed and run away but he would lose his sect reputation and standing.)

Why does his reputation and standing mean more than the lives of all these 70 people ?

Were they trying to kill him? No.

Did they attack him first to the point he would lose his life? No.

Would they have thrown him into a whore house? No.

Let us please not compare Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao.

MXTX wants us to know what's said and told may not be right. Wei Wuxian isn't fond of the techniques that are used to confirm Jin Guangyao's demise. He's critical of how nobody else is concerned. He's unsure of what NHS's motivations are - does he now want complete power? or did his plan only extend up to his revenge? He's critical of how only yesterday people were all over this guy and today they hate him. Critical of how society works on what is favourable and not what is true.

But he's not SUPPORTIVE of Jin Guangyao. He's sympathetic to people turning onto you, but not empathetic towards Jin Guangyao. He believes Jin Guangyao to be a cruel man.

Those are two different things.

Nobody knows better than Wei Wuxian how it feels to be set up at every step:

1. Firstly he was used as a punching bag for Madam Yu and an emotional one for JC throughout his childhood

2. The Wens completely played him up, setting him as the cause of LP's fall.

3. Then, he was played by the Jins and the cultivation world until his death by validating JC's jealousy against him, by villianizing him and estranging him, by setting up the ambush, by sending JZX, by making false promises, by not checking for validity, by controlling Wen Ning, by setting up the seige parade, by getting JYL there, and finally the seige. (even after his death disrespecting his all)

4. He was brought back to the world on the revenge plans of NHS and tossed like a tennis ball from the plans of NHS and JGY. Yi City arc? children would've died -> NHS. Burial Mound seige 2.0? everyone would've died -> JGY. if LWJ wasn't with him at every step of the way, Wei Ying would've once again been in such a spot. Without any status or authority he would've gotten no help, no aid, and been villianized once more. He would've been stabbed and captured with nobody to save him. He would've made himself the bait without anybody to fight the monsters off.

Each of us have individual capacities and also, each of us have the one thing we cannot let happen:

1. Wei Ying can't let injustice prevail and sit by the side doing nothing

2. Jin Guangyao can't take in being stripped of power and being a lowlife again.

Those are two very different things. JGY made every decision he could to escape his grand fear, which was personal. I don't condemn his motivations personally cause I find them hot. Similar to how I find his character hot. Yet, he's not the hero on the opposite spectrum. He's not the lowlife who was killed because people can't handle people from lower birth statuses being on the top chairs for making decisions - but that is also true - but is not the reason behind his tragedy. Not the sole reason and also not the most important reason.

The most important reason is as it is said: he believes himself to be different and values his life over others, similar to Xue Yang. Their personalities vary greatly, yet his "true" friends were Xue Yang and Su She. (He showed glimpses of the truth and of his reality to LXC. So, he's hiding the truth and LXC doesn't wish to dig deeper anyways thus not a true friendship.) One wished to take revenge in extremely unfair shares, a clan for a finger. A clan for a son. The entire cultivation world could die but he couldn't be badmouthed or put on trial or killed. The other - Su She, wished to be recognized by those who he equally hated, despised and considered arrogant and also was jealous and envious of. So, these two traits - great desire for revenge onto everyone who's ever said anything mean about him, and the desire for power. You may argue how this developed from his childhood trauma but you can't argue that this justifies his cold blooded crimes because it doesn't. Another thing I'd like to add is that, his friendship with Lan Xichen also shows his personality; not wanting to take the messy, big path (such as showing up to your own death planning party, or planning a death party) and his relatively calm nature. Yet just like the friendship it is fragmented and fake; a composure that is stuck onto the cold, and hot brimming desire for power.

There was one character who had to kill a large number of people or would have no other option left and it wasn't Jin Guangyao. There was one character who was hated by society solely because of his background and his desire to protect people and it wasn't Jin Guangyao. There was one character who had to give up everything for what he believed in and it wasn't Jin Guangyao. There was one character who ended up being the indirect reason for the passing of loved siblings due to the unjust society.

and it wasn't Jin Guangyao.

(but there were two characters who had confirmed sex before marriage. one of them was Jin Guangyao)

[jnnul]

work in progresses (iii)

a/n: right...so i'm aware that wip ii is not technically completed yet but i keep outgrowing fics so these wip lists are just going to keep being made until i have the energy to return to older fics and finish them. but please be assured that everything is being written! slowly but surely, everything is being written haha <3

good liars

sum: you are the rebel child - it's a role that you embrace proudly, and one that you've undertaken since childhood. after all, your overachieving and perfect older sister could never be the rebel. no she had the perfect manners, personality, and even the perfect fiancé; one who shone as bright as a star.

but even perfection has its flaws, which you discover when you find out that your sister had died under suspicious circumstances, forcing you into taking over everything she'd represented: being the heir to a long dynasty of wealthy nobles, showing the class difference between haves and have nots, and being the wife to the perfect star.

but the brighter a star shines, the longer the shadow so as you try to discover what truly happened to your sister, you realize just how dangerous power can be - all because of a man named choi soobin.

est. word count: 20k words est. release date: september 2024 status: writing (8.3k written)

DNA.

sum: hong seunghan has everything to become a tennis legend like his father - money, resources, connections, and a passion for the sport. the only thing that he doesn't have is inborn talent; not like his father did, at least. the pressure of being at the top and having everything to lose is something that his father could never understand.

but shin yuna understands him. as an actress and the daughter of a critically acclaimed actress, she understands him better than anyone else can. and seunghan is comfortable in this - in her embrace.

but there you come. you don't have anything seunghan does. you don't have money, resources, or connections. but you have the one thing that seunghan doesn't: natural talent. when the two of you are paired as doubles partners, seunghan is forced to decide between comfortable love and challenging love - one that forces him to push his boundaries, and could potentially make him lose everything. is dna everything?

est. word count: 15k words est. release date: early august 2024 status: writing (2k written)

ten days to fall out of love

sum: you and jaehyun jung just aren't meant to be. that's what your friends think, anyway. and you can't even blame them. you logically know that this is no good for either of you. you fight, and he ignores you for days and you crawl back to him begging and pleading, and then it's sheer bliss of sex, pleasure, and sweet words for two days before it repeats all over again.

so your friends come together to stage an intervention and present the two of you with an ultimatum: ten days to fall out of love. but ten days is a long time to try and figure out how to fall out of love with the one person who sets your skin on fire with his touch and your soul into flames with his love.

maybe ten days is all you need to figure out how to fall back into love. and maybe it's all you need to say goodbye once and for all.

est. word count: 18k words est. release date: end of october 2024 status: writing (1.1k written)

lucky 777

sum: in this edition of seoul searcher magazine, you - y/n l/n - are the main focus! when your editor-in-chief/best friend, julie han, sets you up on seven blind dates with seven different men to bring you out of your dating slump, you find the material you need to bring yourself out of your writing slump as well.

as you navigate love in the 21st century, finding yourself, and pushing the boundaries of everything you ever thought you were, you realize that life is more simple than you'd ever thought it to be.

7 dates with 7 different men but only one of them catches your eye...

est. word count: 12k words est. release date: july 31, 2024 status: writing (800 words written)

blue jeans

sum: you had two big problems in your life: you were in the wrong career and hopelessly single. in a world where soulmates were the norm, the latter issue seemed rather improbable but it was true; you were still single, even though it seemed that everyone seemed to be moving forward in their lives with their love and career, while you were stuck in the same place.

but after a fated encounter with a stranger, you get the chance to switch to the career path of your dreams: modeling. and between struggles at work and your love life struggles with a model named leehan that you keep running into, you discover that the most important love is not the one you have for your career or those around you but the love you have for yourself.

est. word count: 10k words est. release date: september 2024 status: writing (1.3k words written)

beautiful you

sum: hospital life is not easy. as a neurologist, your hours aren't nearly as gruesome as some of your colleagues and your closest friends but the sheer mental pressure is enough to make up the hours - after all, the basis of human life, the brain of your patient, is being put into your capable hands.

as it can be imagined, dealing with patients and their issues is enough of a time commitment; you quite literally do not have the time for love or relationships out of the time that you squeeze out for your friends. but the presence of a new neurosurgeon, hwang intak, somehow seems to affect this strong decision you've made for yourself and somehow, there seems to be more than 24 hours in the day when it comes to thinking of the handsome new surgeon.

est. word count: 12k words est. release date: october 2024status: writing (2k words written)

conceited

sum: it's the olympics and the reigning champions of the olympics, the usa, is back with the intent to clean sweep every cateogry they've been nominated for - as per usual. but even amongst athletes of the same country, everyone seems to have something to prove.

for yudai koga, it's proving that the usa's throne for men's track will never be emptied for another country to sit upon. there's a level of cockiness that comes with being a champion who's never been defeated and somehow, yudai koga wears it beautifully.

for you, on the other hand, it's proving that the golden era of usa's women's swimming team is not over just yet. after a stunning defeat at the olympics four years ago, you and your team is back with vengeance running through your veins.

but that many young, capable, and beautiful people in the prime of their lives, medals aren't the only thing on everyone's minds. and with that, welcome to the olympics! break records, not hearts this season.

est. word count: 20k words est. release date: mid august 2024 status: planning

young doves lay their heads here

sum: three days. that's all the time you had with kim mingyu. he had to go back to korea in three days, even though you didn't know it at the time, to continue fulfilling his duties as one of the members of the biggest boy bands in korea. three days. and in three days, the two of you experienced happiness, sadness, anger, betrayal, love, and heartbreak. all in the span of seventy-two hours.

and then he's gone and you're left with the memories of someone who'd lit your soul with cold flames of passion and soothing touch in a way that only he could balance.

on the other side of the world, mingyu is alone with his memories and he regrets everything. he regrets leaving without saying the three words that had ran through his mind every moment he was with you. he regrets not keeping in contact. and so, mingyu makes the leap of his lifetime to find the dove that had taught him what love was in less than three days.

est. word count: 30k words est. release date: december 2024 status: writing (1.2k words written)

goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!

sum: cha eunwoo was a man of few words. few words, but many thoughts. he'd been cast as the prince in every social setting he'd ever been in, and as though the role was real, he felt the heavy chains of having to be a stoic, perfect, regal person. even his callsign was prince; there was simply no escaping it.

not even at topgun, where cha eunwoo was entering to become the greatest pilot of all time. princes can't be anything less than perfect, after all. turns out, he's not the only one with his eyes on the throne (however reluctantly it may be), and cha eunwoo's life is turned upside down by you (sometimes quite literally) - callsign venus. topgun is the place for unexpected feats, after all.

est. word count: 40k words est. release date: january 2025 status: planning

[shamera]

March-April manhwa reccs

In the vein of my last few reccs, here is the latest instalment in Shams-reads-too-much (I know it's only mid-April). This time, I'm back to the top 3 format but with a list of Honorable Mentions because oh boy, the readin' don't stop!

3. The Guild Member Next Door [30 chapters so far]

How is no one talking about this one? The first BL series to make it on my top lists, this is an online gamer meet-ugly cafe story that had me cackling through every chapter. It will brighten your day (threat). The story of an office worker slash secret gamer who starts playing the MMO Illusion and tries to join Poseidon guild only to immediately get PK'ed and accused of being a stalker's alt account, and in his revenge he befriends the entire guild as an FU to his attacker, only for his attacker to in-game propose to him to troll him in return. An adorable and hilarious story following the two as they purposefully step on each other's toes all the way until they're friends in-game, never realizing that they actually know each other IRL!

2. Martial God Regressed to Level 2 [one season]

Let's just say in chapter 1 all of humanity dies, so we already know how this story's going to go. Another OP protagonist whom I really enjoy, starting from scratch in hopes of saving the world. It's Seong Jihan's relationship with his family that makes this series hit different, as he not only uses his knowledge to try and prevent humanity's tragedies, but also does his best this time around to save his niece from her downward mental spiral and become a good role model for her after her father walks away. With little to lose now that he knows what's to come, the MC is more than willing to make enemies out of everyone to ensure they step up their game before the real fight for humanity begins.

1. SSS-Class Suicide Hunter [3 seasons]

This was already on Honorable Mentions back in December, and I know my recc list is meant for new reads, but I had to slap this down again after the PHENOMENAL season 3 ending. We've already seen Kim Gongja's crazy fights to ascend the tower, but the sheer hope. The belief in a better world that these characters have, and their determination to make it so, brought me to tears at the end of season 3. The story of a hunter with negative survival instincts, and a power that allows him to regress to a day before he dies every time he dies... it's not the type of story that I expected to see such delicate beauty within suffering, but here we are, with an MC ready to delve into storybooks to empathize with and relieve the suffering of the characters within, no matter what it takes. I'm so excited for season 4 and the next storybook, I am vibrating.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Raising a Sacrifice

This series is impossible to describe and impossible to put down for long. This is the ultimate fantasy time-loop transmigration system apocalypse god-maker BL I have ever read? It's what happens when the apocalypse keeps resetting and you can never escape that last year no matter how many times you die, and the toll on one's mental state when you start trying-- everything. Murder. Genocide. Madness. And falling in love, again and again and again. And being alone again, after every reset. Thousands and millions of times until you lose all hope, until one day... the MC wakes up with memories of being murdered by his faithful knight, and now there's finally two people with memories beyond one timeline.

Medical Return [complete!!]

The story of a surgeon who led a pitiful life, only to return to his childhood once more by the grace of the gods-- and this time he's determined to not lead the same life again! Now if only the world got that hint, as he seems to be continuously steered back onto his original path, while trying to dodge the tragedies in his life and save just one more person others gave up for dead. This time around, he has a little outside help to finally uncover just why his life went so wrong at every turn the first time and help him retain that inherent goodness without being taken advantage of once more. With an MC with a deposition truly befitting a good doctor, this is for all fans of hospital dramas, and is complete!!

Kill the Villainess [complete!!]

The only way to return home is to play the role of the villainess, Eris, who is condemned to death after attempting to kill the heroine. There is no way to escape that fate, as Eris can't even succeed at taking her own life before she completes her part in the plot. The story of a villainess trying to die to change the story, yet unable to as she continues to uncover backstory beyond the original novel to find the reason why her soul was stuck in this world and unable to leave, while attempting to bypass paths that would trap her in the novel forever. At what point will her actions make her a true villain, and just what is she willing to do in order to return home to the real world?

Little Mushroom

...my cheat this month, with me using the novel cover and everything. (Please read the books, there are only 2 novels and the prose is breathtaking.) The manhua is absolutely gorgeous beyond compare, and the story covers a sentient mushroom post-apocalypse who is journeying into a dangerous human settlement trying to find the spore that was taken from him. In a world where threats to humans loom at every corner and shadow, drastic measures are taken to protect those who survive, employing "Judges" with absolute power to kill if they suspect a being of not being human. It's the story of a non-human and a Judge finding themselves and each other by navigating the active end of the world.

My Darling Signed In [complete!!]

Cute?? Adorable???? Another online gamer couple who meet in real life, this BL story is genuinely all fluff as the MC is found to play a beautiful female elf online, yet their beau falls in love either way as it was the same charisma and personality that drew them in. A green flag couple with turns that surprised me every time with how wholesome things are. It's 2 seasons and complete, featuring them from collage to work space through their ups and downs, navigating their relationship and growing as people all the while continuing their game. Do you need a cute read with a guaranteed happy ending? Here it is!!

Zero Day Attack [1 season done]

Another BL on the list?? This month is full of surprises, as this time it's about a hacker who had to go into hiding after being exposed and is now a barista by day while working to find the man who betrayed him by night, all the while running away from both the organizations he hacked and his old colleagues who are looking for him. Things get complicated when a man who shows up at the cafe he works at won't leave him alone, and blurs the line between his search for revenge and the fake life he's currently living. This one eked its way above Netkama Punch for the mystery and intrigue (as well as having a main couple who is obsessed with each other without wanting to bring harm to the other).

I Will Change the Genre

A transmigrater meets a regressor, and suddenly the novel plot is going very, very awry! In the novel, Judith Maybaum is the hateful aunt of the main character who betrays her nephew and dies for it, yet "Judith Maybaum" isn't actually the same character now, and her nephew is also acting very odd when the story starts rolling. She's determined that her nephew will not go through his lonely and sorrowful life this time around, even if it means giving his custody to the Duke Winterwald, yet for some reason the protagonist clings to her and calls her 'mother' when the Duke comes to take him away! A touching and funny story with, once again, a green flag couple as well as an adorable aunt and nephew pair, both with foreknowledge of the future in different ways as they mess things up and unravel a story that neither of them knew.

GOOD ENOUGH I READ EVERYTHING: -Netkama Punch -The Bromance Book Club [complete] -The Live [complete] -I'll Be the Matriarch in this Life -Reincarnator -Dark Mage Returns to Enlistment -The Main Characters that Only I Know -My Lucky Encounter from the Game Turned Reality -The Archmage's Restaurant -I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away -I Created an Urban Legend -The Regressed Demon Lord is Kind

[tornrose24]

Thinking back to those RE AU doodles and my ideas that I shared with @artistcaptainbendy So I decided to compile the details as a small story. So due to favoritism, Scratch/Todd (AKA the Donna Beneviento equivalent) is first.

Want to read another background story of one of the lords? Click here.

//////////////////

The Ghost

It was because of a moment of despair that he agreed to the Cadou experiment, and it was by sheer luck that he survived and was granted an unusual power. It was because of this power that he was put under the service of the Father and given a title of lordship.

Before that, he was a complete nobody.

He had lived in the village all his life–his only friend had moved away in his childhood, and she had begged him through many letters to leave and join her. Yet his fears of the unknown kept him rigid and unmoving.

He was once a nobody, but now he was a somebody–someone who ranked above all the other villagers.

He was torn between enjoying the power and prestige while feeling even lonelier than before.

His feelings towards the others were mixed. The Lady–with her charm and kindness–was secretly his favorite. The Witch–with her care-free attitude and rebellious streak–would have been his favorite if she hadn’t distrusted him. The Scientist… was a complete moron.

He didn’t buy into the Father’s beliefs and words in the church–the other three didn’t either for their own various reasons. Unfortunately, they only had the illusion of power–the Father was the true ruler over all and ensured their roles would benefit him.

In his case? He had been forced to spy upon the villagers, the outsiders, and anything and anyone deemed a threat. He wouldn’t be in danger either–his body could stay at home while his soul could take on a ghostly shape and could be invisible to the naked eye. Of the other three, he had been tasked to spy upon the Witch, but she was too clever and too smart.

He lived in an enormous house granted to him, deep in the woods, beyond the cemetery, and near the waterfall. Few bothered him and he preferred it that way–after all, some habits died hard, and he liked being alone, even if it felt like a lie at times.

His introverted nature made him an enigma to others. He willingly attended certain events, yet kept to himself. Unlike the others–each of whom had a daughter by blood or by adoption–he had no heir to his family name, and there wasn’t any good romantic prospects for him in the village.

All the while, he was forced to live by a rule imposed upon him by the Father���to never reveal his powers to anyone. It was a rule he could live by, and for the longest time, he liked that not many knew of what he could do.

•••••

Eventually he was spotted in his ghostly form by a girl who wandered too close to the cemetery.

She was the daughter of a family that recently moved into the village–a way to ensure bloodlines could stay clean and untainted. He was on the way back on another assignment of spying on another when they crossed paths. She assumed that he was a mere ghost, but rather than be afraid, she reacted with joy. He was horrified to have been spotted, but more so when the girl insisted on befriending him, even if he never agreed to it.

No matter how he tried to force her away, she ended up coming back with food the next day. His weakness for food was what won him over, but the experience of someone treating him as an equal–not someone to be feared or ignored–was what drew him toward the girl. Like him, she too knew the pang of loneliness and losing friends, yet her compassion was not only new but also genuine. When she asked for his name, he instead gave her the childhood nickname his old friend gave him.

Before he knew it, a forbidden friendship grew between him and the girl, who he made her swear never to tell another soul about him. For once in his miserable life, he was finding something to look forward to–something to find joy–as he began to treasure the girl’s friendship and the small miasdventures they had. Ironically, the Ghost was more alive as a mere soul than he had ever been before in his life.

Yet he lied and claimed that he did not know of his past life, and when she showed interest in seeing his house, he panicked and told her that it was dangerous. When she invited him to her home, he told her that he could not meet her family, and she could not tell them about him.

He wanted things to be as they were–he wanted her to think he was the Ghost. If she knew his true identity, then she would never want to be around him. It would also put her at risk.

******

In the end, the friendship was discovered, regardless of all he did.

It was at a meeting with the Father and the others. The Father demanded to know what he had been up to with his gift and if he had been squandering it for petty reasons. He of course lied, but he was a terrible liar and they all knew it.

The lie had been exposed as the girl was presented before him–she now knew how dangerous they could be, but worst of all, she instantly recognized him and now knew he was one of them. She now knew who he really was–not a mere cantankerous spirit, but instead a man who had been gifted with an extraordinary power. A man who happened to be amongst the most powerful in the village.

He was presented with a choice as punishment–have her eliminated, or have her be given a cadou and accept her as his heir. Either one was a death sentence.

He chose the cadou.

*****

For weeks he wallowed in misery over all that happened and isolated himself even more so than before. He knew the girl would hate him forever if she survived.

Miraculously, the girl survived the operation. Furthermore her gift–while unexpected–was deemed useless to the Father who saw her as an unfit vessel. Unfortunately, she was to never leave the village.

Despite knowing the truth, and knowing what their friendship cost her, she still came back to her friend. She went past the cemetery, knocked on his door, and while he tried to protest and plead for her to leave, she firmly stayed and told him the thing he didn’t realize he needed to hear–

“I still want to be your friend.”

She forgave him, knowing that he was trying to protect her. She accepted him as he was, knowing that he was still the same person that she befriended. 

According to the rules, her being appointed as his heir meant that she could no longer live with her family and had to live with him instead. However, he ensured that she could still visit her family and that she would be provided for. It was not how he would have liked things to go, but as long as she was happy, then he was happy. He no longer had to hide any part of himself from another person and she accepted him flaws and all. He just hoped that someday he could atone for almost ruining her life.

With the girl in his life, the Ghost never had to be alone again.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natsu Harem: Fairy GET! 3/14

Who next~...? Ah, yes. (人◕ω◕)

A childhood sweetheart, Miss Lisanna Strauss. (人◕ω◕)

When did they meet?

Among Fairy Tail's current generation, they all arrived at the guild in the mid- to late X770's. For the most part. Natsu arrived in X777, and the Strauss Siblings came to be part of the family in X778.

Whereas Natsu grew leery and terrified of Lisanna's older sister, he forged a special bond with Lisanna as kids. (人◕ω◕)

Happy's egg fell from the sky, and Natsu found the thing, determined to hatch it, believing it to be a dragon egg. (人◕ω◕) Naturally, Lisanna-chan invited herself along to help care for it... And act as a sort of mommy to Happy when he did hatch. Happy might not have been the dragon Natsu wanted, but soon enough they all became one happy family~.... For the most part. (人◕ω◕) ... Lisanna-chan did get these weird ideas into her head sometimes, as noted by Natsu's reactions above.

As a young boy, Natsu didn't always appreciate Lisanna, at least on the surface. Yet even so, he did love her in his own way. She became a precious friend, much easier to get along with than that blockhead Stripper and pole-up-her-butt Erza. Sometimes they went out on jobs together. Sometimes they just camped out together with Gildarts and Happy.

Until that fateful mission for the Strauss Siblings... all was well. But when it did arrive, and Elfman lost control, he wound up... killing Lisanna. Or so they all thought. Elfman and Mirajane were both devastated as Lisanna died in their arms... Elfman resolving to never use his Takeover again - too scared of losing control. And Mira just... lost her powers. Relegated to being a barmaid and becoming a much kinder, gentler person that more openly treasured her friends and family in the guild.

Meanwhile the Earthland Lisanna was sent to Edolas, unbeknownst to everyone... The Edolas Lisanna had already died on a job, and that's who perished in Mira and Elfman's arms. But for the Lisanna that Natsu and everyone else knew... She was seemingly trapped in Edolas forever, no idea of how to get back. So Lisanna made the best of her situation, bonding with the Edolas Fairy Tail.

And then through a miracle, Lisanna-chan returned to Earthland with everyone after the Edolas debacle concluded. She hadn't seen her family and friends in Fairy Tail for a few years, and while she felt terrible about leaving her Edolas siblings without their sister... Lisanna was glad to be home. She was welcomed back with open arms... And soon enough the S-Class trials were upon them, then the Tenrou Island team missed out on seven years because of Fairy Sphere protecting them...

When did they grow closer?

This is a little trickier question. (人◕ω◕) From X778-782 when Lisanna "died", she and Natsu became quite close. But then coming back in X784... she didn't get as much on-screen time with Natsu. In a subtle way, their friendship seemed to have taken a hit, at least with Lisanna not joining Team Natsu, not even on the occasional job.

... But I have my theories that despite what we were shown, Natsu and Lisanna's bond was as strong as ever. (人◕ω◕) Returning home after 2 years, Lisanna had a lot of catching up to do with everyone, especially her siblings... Team Natsu was always on to the next adventure, and Lisanna-chan couldn't focus on them exclusively... But even so~...

Natsu was still special to Lisanna. (人◕ω◕) She picked up on Erza's dancing habits, spinning Natsu around. And she remembered having ideas of marriage with Natsu, as evidenced by that moment during the Grand Magic Games~...

... Not to mention that jail cell scene in Tartaros. (人◕ω◕) Natsu's only shared a cell with one other girl in Fairy Tail... But more on that one later.

The point I'm laboring toward is that despite what we see in the main series, there was plenty of room for Lisanna to come trodding back into Natsu's life at any point after returning. The S-Class trials did happen, and they were technically rivals then... But they had different opponents during that arc, and there was a lot going on. Then they missed out on seven more years. Once that blew over, I'm sure they shared some time together, whether or not Lisanna also spent time with Team Natsu.

At some point she must've found out that Natsu erected a grave for her at the spot they helped hatch Happy together in a hut... Lisanna might've felt bad for worrying him like that, for worrying everyone. But even so, she's not gonna let them treat her like glass. She's strong in her own right, and Lisanna wants to protect everyone, too~... So like her sister Mira, most of her time with Natsu is spent with him when he gets back from jobs, catching up with him and rekindling that bond of theirs~... It's not that hard. (人◕ω◕)

When does friendship turn to something more?

The answer is anytime, really. (❋•‿•❋) However, if I had to take a stab at a more concrete time... I'd say when Igneel died. Remember what I said about making this series having fanfic in its veins...? Well, it begins to kick in now. One thing that's always rubbed me the wrong way about everyone splitting off after Tartaros is that some people never seemed to try harder to stay in touch with certain others. In this case... Lisanna and Natsu. Sure, Natsu had training on the brain... And Lisanna was there when Makarov disbanded the guild.

... But Lisanna knew the dragons perished. She knew how much Igneel meant to Natsu. Lisanna would have been among the first to track Natsu down and give him comfort. She was one of Natsu's first serious friends, and she wouldn't have wanted Natsu to be alone after losing the father he tried finding all of this time. Naturally, Natsu would be dragged along with the Strauss Siblings during this year-long guild hiatus. Because Lisanna-chan isn't the greedy type to hoard Natsu for herself. ... Unlike certain others. (❋•‿•❋)

Natsu, Lisanna, Elfman, and Mira could get strong together. Although Elfman miiight be a little defensive of the Dragon Slayer getting a little too intimate with his sisters. (❋•‿•❋) But it's not like he can say "no" to Lisanna, who wants to cuddle with her Pyro~... In this time together, he could hear about what the siblings went through during the Tartaros arc. While Natsu might punch Elfman or something to that effect for choking Lisanna, he'd know that it wasn't Elfman's fault, and the guy was feeling bad enough for all four of them, especially after he blew up the guildhall.

Natsu would also hear about Fairy Tail disbanding... And train that much harder so they could all come back together a year later. (❋•‿•❋) But in terms of him and Lisanna.... This year together is an excellent period for them to become a couple. They'd have Mira's blessing. ... And a little more, but we'll hear about Mira-chan later. (❋•‿•❋)

Even though Natsu's instincts are to protect Lisanna, he knows she's strong enough to stand on her own and have his back. Happy still views her as a Mommy, too. (❋•‿•❋) And after Alvarez blows over... Perhaps Lisanna-chan makes good on that childhood dream of tying the knot with her dense Pyro. \(❋•‿•❋)/ She does have to work that much harder to get him to understand romance, but I feel after a while Natsu would mature in his own way and roll with the dates and eventual marriage scene.

... Not to mention the eventual "mating like rabbits" scene. (❋•‿•❋) Lisanna is Mira-chan's darling sister, after all~... She's petite. But she also has L E G S~... \(❋•‿•❋)/

[suite-purgatory-a-hh-what-if]

Minerva "Crymini" Collins

Crymini or her old named Minerva was raised in 1974 in Marlybone, England; raised by an upper-class family and middle child of triplets. She lived a good chunk of her childhood in the comfort of her upper-class life; around the early 1980's was a surge a new genre that intrigued her: the punk scene, the music, and the clothes and everything intrigued her.

By 1987, Minerva entered her teenage years, marked by rebellion and self-discovery. She was started to attach herself to the punk scene, she idolized punk icons and sought to break free from her upper-crust life. At 13, she drastically transformed her appearance with a Blonde Chelsea cut, jean jackets, and Doc Martens. Her family and friends were shocked at her sudden change in her, but Minerva felt alive for the first time ever and she didn't want it to go away for a long time.

After school one day, Minerva noticed a group of similar teens with choppy hair and tattered denim jackets in a graffiti-covered alley. She approached the group despite how older and gruffer they looked, she took the chance to join their gang and soon enough she was having the time of her life; soon enough she was skipping school and drinking, smoking, and causing chaos in the neighborhood and she especially had fun "Taking down the man,"

They would beat up any kind of authority which would be bumbling cops or simple individuals; the rush of feeling much more powerful was the exhilarating rush to her that made her feel even more power than ever; Minerva's home life would be even harder with concerned parents and siblings trying to calm her down but she would always try to fight them back(physically and verbal) and would mostly win.

However her life would soon come short when one day her group was fighting a rival skinhead group and they were out for blood; each punch, fist, and stab made the street look like a bloodbath, it wasn't until a gun cocked and *CRUNCH!* Minerva had stomped a guy in the throat with her doc Martin they all scattered and everyone tried to run in different directions back to their homes; Minerva's parents had questioned why are her shoes red; which made Minerva run; she was trying to run back to one of the houses of her gang so she can spread the message of leaving but before she could do that she was caught in a police standout and while she was beating the eve loving shit of some cops. She got shot in the eye. Lodged so far near her brain she died that night.

Oh moment later she awoke in hell; and she despised her new form, she was blue all over and she thought she was some smelly mutt(she’s a hyena) at first until she laughed. Her first two decades in hell was pretty normal, she stole from people, slept in trash, drank beer, and fought small gangs in hell, when she realized that this was getting her no where, she needed a job somewhere, she wanted to work at a club but that was a no good.

But she heard that a rising new Overlord was looking for security by the name of “Velvette” and thought ‘fuck it what do I have to lose’ went in and boom! Got the job. The next few years were spent with little to no problems, she got a comfy apartment, got to fight random fucks who were coming on to her boss, and she got cash, it was going well for her, well until Velvette started to work with those other two overlords Valentino and Vox and began VVVcorp. More of Velvette a security started to be replaced with tougher and stronger ones, she was getting worried.

So in a need to prove that she was stronger and better, she planned an event to prove that she was better but it failed badly and Velvette requested a netting as to where to the two sinners verbally fought each other and it wasn’t until Cry slashed Velvettes face that she was in trouble.

She was fired from her position as a bodyguard and was demonated to VVVcorps lab rat, to test products on her, range from shampoos and perfumes from Velvette to tech from Vox, she was working day and night for the next decade.

One day however, a break was given to Crymini she was given a opportunity to be free from VVVcorp, they said that the princess of hell is making a rehab program to redeem sinners and if that’s possible all new sinners and half soul contracts could be lost and the fact that Alastor is working with the princess so he might have worked a deal with her. Her assignment is to get videos and pictures of the hotel being crap so they can run propaganda against them to make sure a sinner can never come to the hotel.

And her reward? Well not only will she be given back her claws, a new apartment, but her contract will be terminated and she will be set free. Will Crymini commit to this? Or will she find someway to be redeemed in all of this.

Facts about Crymini:

Growing up she was the middle child of her three siblings and her parents took way more attention to her siblings rather than her(Mom and lil sis; Dad and Big bro)

After she was demoted from her job Velvette afterword had to get Crymini declawed and her fangs filed so that she couldn’t hurt anyone else

When she was alive she had an overbite

She despises the color blue so much, due to the fact that cops wore the color so much that she always affiliated that color with the popo. And her new hair always grew blue so she tried dying it back to her human hair color.

Her fave food is mainly whatever junk food she can grab her hands on(and hard liquor)

If their ever was a canon drinking contest in the hotel between Crymini, Husk and Alastor Alastor would lose, Crymini would get second place and Husk would win.

Even though she may seem like a bratty teen, she deep down wants people to like her and accept her.

She has a secret hobbie where she likes to go to pet shops and pet all the cute and fluffy animals down their.

When she was demoted to her Lab rat she cried in her room at night for 3,000 days due to the stress of her new job.

She (in my version) is sapphic; has kissed with a few girls in the past but doesn’t know if she’s fully a lesbian, bi or anything else.

[hamliet]

I have noticed this volume has been mostly highlighting Penny and Oscar's bonds with Ruby. What do you think of this?

Well, Penny, Oscar, and Yang. And also Summer. Basically, all of Ruby's important people, and all of her foils, are present, because Ruby is being primarily asked "what are you?"

Who is she? Who does she want to be?

The reality is that we are all somewhat made up of our loved ones. They really are a part of us. So, Penny and Oscar of course reflect this.

Beyond that, I do think Penny, to a degree, represents Ruby's child self. People aren't wrong noticing the parallels between Penny and Little, who is also Ruby's childhood self. Growing up can be painful.

Penny is present, becoming the past. Oscar is the future. But Penny is also a part of that future.

Let me explain. Penny represents a part of Ruby's life that, like Summer, she can never get back. But that doesn't mean that it can't come with her. Think of Lewis, remembering Alyx.

Penny and Purpose

From the moment Little was introduced, they asked Ruby if:

to Ruby Rose... is your purpose?

And when Penny appears this volume, it's usually to do with Ruby's purpose of being a Huntress and of being a friend. Let's look at what Neo's Penny says to Ruby.

Penny: Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal festival. I died in Atlas too, didn't I? Can you imagine what that's like? To be completely and utterly failed time and again by someone who meant the world to you?

Of course, this isn't Penny. This is illusion!Penny, Neo's interpretation of Penny. Penny spent her whole life having someone else speak for her, decide for her, until the only decision she could possibly make was in how she wanted to die. It's tragic and wrong, but it's not hopeless. It doesn't mean Ruby failed Penny.

But, Penny's whole tragedy was that people kept reducing her to her purpose. The Protector of Mantle. The Winter Maiden.

Now illusion!Penny reduces Ruby to her role as a friend and implies that Ruby was a bad one, when of course that is not true. Penny and Ruby adored each other.

Alas, Ruby thinks she failed Penny. Penny was suicidal and offered Ruby her power. She offered Ruby what she thought her value was--her purpose.

Ruby refused and became determined to make Penny human. Alas, Penny being human meant that she could die more easily (and permanently, and also, everyone who is human dies).

But, Penny's death was not a suicide. It was a murder in a battle, and no, her murderer was not Jaune. Her death was not about purpose, but about affirming herself as Penny Polendina, as a friend, as someone who loved her friends.

As @aspoonofsugar recently said:

Penny's destiny is friendship. So, when the time comes she chooses to fight to protect her friends, even if it means putting the relic and the Maiden powers in danger. When Cinder strikes her and Penny has to choose who should get the power she chooses Winter (who she wants) over Weiss (who needs the power at the most in that moment)... Penny spends the majority of her arc by trying to be the hero and to balance what she wants with what she must do. Still, in the end she chooses her friends over her duty as a Maiden.

I think knowing that, in the end, Penny did have the power to make her own choice about who she wanted to be, even if that choice was so cruelly limited, will give Ruby what Penny wanted for Ruby: hope. Penny believed in Ruby.

Oscar and Ruby Rose

Oscar's whole struggle in the story is his identity. He is terrified of losing himself, of becoming just another one of Ozpin's lives. Ruby is the one who tells him that he will be okay, who comforts him

Ruby: You're your own person.

In the Neo hallucination sequence, Ozpin then beats Ruby with a cane screaming that Ruby isn't cut out to save anyone. In other words, she is beat up by proof her words were wrong, and by the idea that Oscar Pine no longer exists. Only Ozpin does.

But in this scene, Ruby screams back at him, grabbing her scythe and--

Ozpin: How many more lives do you have to ruin before you realize you're not cut out to save anyone?

Ruby: NO!

What happens then? Turns out it's the exact same trick the Curious Cat pulls on Weiss the very next episode in getting her to "kill" Jaune this past episode (in case the parallels between Bumbleby, White Knight, and Rosegarden weren't immensely clear this volume.) Neo transforms into Oscar, showing Ruby that all her efforts to save herself actually just kill Oscar.

And all Oscar says to Ruby is her name.

Oscar: Ruby...?

Ruby isn't enough. Penny quotes Ruby's stated purpose (which is the same question Little asked her)--saving people. Oscar quotes her name as his dying words. Even if she can't save him, is it still enough to be herself?

The vision says no. Essentially, by using Oscar, Neo tells Ruby that she will never save anyone, and that being Ruby isn't enough. Even Oscar in the end will realize that, and it will kill him to realize it.

Losing Penny means that she will not be able to save Oscar--in fact, she specifically won't be able to save him from becoming Ozpin, since in trying to stop Ozpin from beating her she kills Oscar. It's not worth trying when it just hurts, and makes the people you love feel betrayed.

Ruby finally drinks the tea when, in her vision, Oscar dies. This is symbolic of Ruby's dreams for the future evaporating. Now, while I do think the story strongly indicates endgame Oscar/Ruby, I don't think Ruby is in any way ready for romance right now (as shown by her bewilderment over Bumbleby and missing Weiss flirting with Jaune while Yang and Blake tease Weiss over it).

But story-wise, Ruby seeing what she fears--someone she loves (because she loves all her friends) dying just like Pyrrha, just like Penny, just like Ironwood, just like Ozpin--convinces her she doesn't want to go on. When she believes she's killed her own future, she drinks the tea.

But none of it's true.

That isn't what happened to Penny.

Being Ruby Rose is going to be enough, even if she can't save everyone (and I do think later on, in the last volume, Ruby will face having to accept the loss of Oscar--only to then get him back because, well, it's like the oldest fairy tale trope in the books).

The memories of Ruby's loved ones--like Summer's weapon in the Blacksmith's vault--can inspire her to be herself. They don't have to punish her. They can be a cloud of witnesses cheering her on.

Side note: Oscar and Penny (and Yang when falling) masking Neo also (like again with the Cat using Pyrrha and Penny against Jaune and then masking Jaune with himself to trick Weiss) offers a thematic punch too. What if your enemy is your friend? What if your friend could be your enemy?

What if they're human, too, and matter to someone?

These are themes I very much expect to be explored in Vacuo, through Mercury, Emerald, and Cinder.

[dreamingkdrama]

Relationship analysis:

Seo Hwi x Nam Seon Ho

They are close friends from childhood who have always supported and helped each other. But things changes when they are challenged with reality of the regime, their past, prejudices and intrigues of the powerful men fighting for the influence.

Happy careless times will end when their ambitions put them against each other and Seo Ho driven by his desire to be appreciated by his father beats Hwi unjustly and win the exams. Hwi is dragged out of the arena and Seon Ho's father then send him away to lifetime service in army so he isn't longer a thread to his family

Seon Ho regrets his actions. He takes care of Hwi's sister Yeon, but his guilt won't stop him from trying to get more power to be able to take revenge of his father (and also get his respect, he has some really serious daddy issues). Meanwhile, Hwi is going through hell in battlefield when leaders decide to abandon his unit. Seon ho thinks Hwi is dead.

When they finaly meet again, Hwi saves Seon Ho's life begging the doctor to heal his wound he got in the fight. Hwi still thinks about Seon Ho as his dearest friend and is happy to see him. Seon Ho isn't that happy. Maybe he was feeling the guilt and sadness when he thought that Hwi is dead, but now he probably doesn't know what to do.

It seems that Seon Ho kind of regrets his actions but he decides to stick to his new role and tells some terrible things to Hwi. He admits it was him who sent him to army (but it was actually his father) and now he was sent here to kill the rest of his men. Is it some kind of reverse psychology that makes him do even worse things than he originaly regrets? I have no idea. Seon Ho also tells Hwi that his sister is dead and he will kill him too if he will come back to take revenge on his family. It's probably attempt to protect Hwi and his sister from being killed by his father who is really capable of anything. But it really isn't the best way to protect your fried's life by hurting him more.

From that day, their paths starts crossing more often and Seon Ho is acting like Hwi isn't longer his friend. He convince his father to use Hwi and make him obedient by keeping his sister hostage, which probably saves lives to both of them. But I don't understand why is Seon Ho acting so cruel even though he clearly cares about Hwi and all of this just keep hurting Hwi more and more. More open communication would help a lot. This treatment makes Hwi to change sides and join prince Bang Won who is opponent to Nam Jeon (Seon Ho's father).

Hwi is acting like he has nothing to lose. He doesn't care about himself anymore and there are many situations when Hwi almost dies and Seon Ho is trying to save him over and over again. But now he has not enough power to protect his former friend.

They now stand on the opposit side of the power struggle knowing that one day they will have to face each other and we know this will happend from the opening of the first episode.

As the events progress they meet each other in a fight few times but they have such a love-hate relationship that they are not able to kill each other. They always wound the opponent slightly so he can't fight anymore, but he survives. Seon ho even tells to Hwi: "Your sword still feels affectionate."

Hwi is very generous to Seon Ho, he saves him many times, he stops him from suicide and he apologies for being too overhelmed by revenge that he doesn't saw how much was Seon Ho suffering. But, hear me out. Seon Ho surely has not an easy life, he surely was protecting Hwi and Yeon, but a lot of suffering that he and Hwi were going through was also his fault when he was blinded by his plans and ambitions.

Almost at the end, they again find the lost bond they once had. This however destroy the alliance between Hwi and Bang Won, who is Seon Ho's enemy and who was sparing Seon Ho's life because of his friendship with Hwi. When Seon Ho tries to assasinate Bang Won and fails, Hwi comes to save him. Hwi beggs Bang Won to let them go and promise that he won't be thread to him if he just let save his dearest friend. Bang Won release them and tell them to never come back.

Hwi and Seon Ho are thinking about living better life without intriques and violence, but they are already too deep in the game and they realise that their frieds will always be in danger if they are alive. They decide to make final action. They fight their way to the palace where Bang Won just took the throne and change their lifes for lifes of their loved ones (precisely...Seon Ho sacrifice himself so Hwi can reach Bang Won and then Hwi sacrifies himself for the deal). They die together like friends. It's really epic and I am really glad for this ending, it was kind of poetic.

So, lets make some conclusion. Seon Ho is really shitty friend. Yes, he did protect Hwi and his sister, but his behavior and bad communication helped to make total emotional wreck out of his friend. Seon Ho was very immature from the beggining and he really lack someone who would love him in childhood. I think his psychical instability origin in very young age. He is lucky that he has such a good friend who will not even forgive him, but also undestands him. I am not sure I would be so sympathetic towads him if he wasn't portrayed by Woo Do Hwan who managed to make this character more layered. Hwi's feeling for Seon Ho are not very healthy. But overall, I am glad that they find the way to each other at the end.

What do you think? Did I missed something?

[darkdisrepair]

imogen temult: a retrospective

in honor of the new year, here's a meta about our favorite purple haired girl, by looking back at what's transpired in 2022 and what she has ahead of her in 2023:

topics:

imogen, liliana, and gelvaan | imodna trauma | fcg and therapy |

tw//suicidal ideation, trauma, death

imogen, liliana, and gelvaan

let's start with the most glaring recent plot point- and one of the most painful.

liliana working with otohan was something i had started to guess ever since we learned that she was alive.

did i want them to be gay for each other? i mean, yes.

but how devastating for imogen, to learn that the mother she has been looking for her whole life is working with the person responsible for so much of her trauma: otohan haunts her dreams, killed three of her friends, and- there are probably better words for it- but tortured imogen's powers out of her, essentially.

for someone who claims to have left her daughter to protect her- how is keeping her in the dark about otohan any better? how is any of this secrecy helping her more than just telling her what she's discovered?

and it's worse because imogen craves her mother's love. imogen craves to be loved, in general. she wants so desperately to have a parental figure- someone to relinquish responsibility, someone to cry to, someone to ask advice from- and the more i think about her backstory... she's not given much of it, is she?

shunned by her town, abandoned by her mother in childhood only to be abandoned, again, when she rejects imogen's attempts to meet up, estranged from her father...

all the mentor figures in her life- laudna, bertrand, and eshteross- have died. she has seen all of their bodies, she has seen their blood and for bertrand and eshteross- she has seen them walk into the storm.

i can't help but think: imogen loses, and loses, and loses. the world has taken so much from her and it's heartbreaking because people need things to cling on to.

the lord of the rings is a perfect example of this: tolkien made the shire so idyllic, so beautiful, because the hobbits needed something to fight for. something to come home to.

gelvaan might be beautiful but it is not her safe haven.

her ritual contribution proved that. "i don't know how much longer I would have lasted," imogen said, and that, too, is devastating.

the town drove her to at least contemplate suicide, and even in sleep, gelvaan is supposed to be comforting but heralds a storm.

not that places mean everything, in terms of what to fight for, but that would make it easier, wouldn't it? to have somewhere to come home to, at the end of it all, that isn't haunted by dreams of red storms and the memories of how painful life was, there?

imodna trauma

well speaking of how painful life was- laudna's death still haunts imogen (and laudna but that's a different discussion).

in some ways, their distance now reminds me of the rock "breakup" and yet, it's even sadder this time because they're not not talking because they're angry or betrayed- it's because they both are so insistent that the other be okay that they don't allow themselves the grace to admit that they themselves aren't.

imogen is trying so hard to return things back to normal. she doesn't want to talk about her powers, she doesn't want to talk about laudna dying, she doesn't want to think about it.

i think it's because she can't, because if she starts i don't know if she knows how to piece herself together.

i think imogen is afraid to confront the depth of her pain over laudna's death, in particular, because she's afraid of "breaking" again, like otohan broke her.

it's hard to explain: but laudna's death and otohan pushing imogen to a breaking point was more than just what it was. it also creates this extremely unhealthy relationship with dealing with emotions/having an emotional outlet.

because really the only time in canon that imogen has really, truly been able to break down is in times of immense trauma, and against her will- and that caused a dangerous release of power that (in imogen's mind) could very well have been the final blow in all of her friend's deaths.

so now, you have both the physical trauma of losing her friends to otohan, but also this mental block of "if i let myself feel, i will hurt the people i care about."

bell's hells and therapy

and the pain and the stress doesn't ever stop coming, for imogen, and though the group notices, i don't think they really understand her well enough yet to really see that otohan trauma (and imogen might not, either).

now, this is no hate on fcg- but he in particular seems to call out imogen's pain the most, while presenting very surface-level solutions.

"i'll create a safe space," they say, but then they allude to imogen crying a lot and being fragile and then don't actually?? listen??

i think fearne/ashley has done the best at starting difficult conversations with imogen, and has, more than anyone, pushed both imogen and laudna to having hard conversations in the past.

she tried to get imogen to talk about her new ruidius friend and she asks imogen if she thinks she intended the blast, and she really does seem to listen.

but fcg is prone to bringing things up and then using spells/conventional therapy techniques, or what they see as "what SHOULD be done when x boxes are met" without slowing down and really getting everything out of the therapy that is actually important.

(this is no hate to sam i think fcg's perspective is FASCINATING i just don't think it's right for imogen)

[tessastarlight]

Sidon x Yona thoughts (Part One)

Warning: this is just me rambling

The reason why I love these two together is because they’re both selfless and they don’t revolve around each other that much. I love it when couples do things outside of their relationship. They know their duties as future king and queen. Yona has to heal and tend to people who were infected by the threat, while Sidon has to keep the domain from being contaminated any further. I say that these two are a power couple. They’re both friends since childhood and yes, they both need to catch up, but their people comes first. Couples need to be apart in order to be together.

I never really ship Sidon with anyone (until now) because I’m way too picky about romance and shipping. Also, I don’t want a ship to take over an entire story. Sidon is going through a lot of shit. He lost his sister (and possibly his mother), his father almost died, and his home and people are at stake. Do people not understand how afraid he is of losing Yona, the only woman in his life!? If it weren’t for her, he’d be mentally exhausted and the domain would be in more danger. He cant do things on his own and he was stuck in Mipha Court for a while.

After the sludge monster attack, Sidon went to her first going off on how scared he is if anything happens to her. He even begged her to stay at the domain where it’s safe. Also, he even refuses to work with Link because his fear was holding him back, and Yona was the one who notice this.

Like Mipha, Yona is strict with him when she has to be because he’s letting his fear take over him. She convinced him TWICE to assist Link with the sludge, but he was hesitant which caused Yona to be a bit frustrated, justifiably so. I’m really glad that Yona is not like those bitch-ass characters who’ screams, “Stop acting like I’m weak and a damsel in distress! I don’t need YOU controlling me!” Instead, she understands how worried he is of losing someone he loves again, and she appreciates he worries for her safety, but there are more important matters at hand. After several attempts convincing him, he finally entrust Yona to guard the domain once again knowing that she’ll be fine. It’s all about trust and communication. Even the other Zora’s knew that the communication was lacking and they’re glad that these two were able to have that chance. (If you spoke to Chroma and Rivan, they ship them lol)

(Okay, I’ve been on this site for a while, but I forgot this thing has a limit, so part two I guess)

[ofdylan]

[ lily collins, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! DYLAN METCALFE just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for MOST OF HER LIFE, working as a FICTION WRITER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 34 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit CYNICAL and HOTHEADED , but i know them to be TRUSTWORTHY and PROTECTIVE. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to MANHATTAN!

Hellooo my lovelies! I'm Lola and it has been a very hot second since I've rp'd, so please bear with me as I settle back in. Below the read more you'll find some backstory and information on Dylan, as well as some wc/plot ideas. Please don't hesitate to reach out via dm and I am so beyond excited 💜

tw: parental death, drugs, alcohol, overdose

Name: Dylan Rose Metcalfe Age: 34 Pronouns: She/her Birthday: October 5th 1989 Job: Fiction writer Romantic/sexual orientation: Biromantic/bisexual

Past.

As the second eldest daughter of the Metcalfe family, Dylan always believed that she was destined for greatness, even if it wasn't exactly the same as her father's. While her father dreamed of someone continuing his legacy, she always had a penchant for writing.

When she was 10 and her father suddenly died, Dylan watched as her mom fell apart. She became a ghost of the woman she once was—losing herself in drinking away her grief. It was then that Dylan decided to never let herself fall in love.

Even though she wasn't going to take over the family business, Dylan and her father were close—much more than she was with her mom. His loss didn't just ruin Dylan's belief in love, but also her self-control and hope for the future. As a result, she began partying at a young age—getting drunk or high as young as 13. She didn't see the point in trying to be good without her dad—and if it wouldn't amount to anything.

One night when she was 16, she took things too far and was arrested. Her mom easily made it all go away, and it only proved to Dylan that being anything else but a spoiled party girl was pointless.

After her best friend and her overdosed in one night, she realized if she didn't start caring about something she would die. The wake up call of sorts didn't completely root out her cynicism, but it did convince her to start trying to be a better person. She devoted herself to being there for her younger brother and older sister, and even did her best to help out her mom when things were the worst for her.

She decided against going to college—mostly because she barely graduated high school. Instead, she backpacked around Europe, deciding to work whatever weird jobs came her way and embrace meeting new people.

But she still didn't have a purpose until she started working on her first novel. When it was published and received star reviews, she realized there was something meaningful in this world. In the end, her writing saved her life.

Present.

After traveling around for years, she decided to settle back in NYC when she was 27. She likes being back "home" and enjoys the never-ending pulse of the city. It helps ease her worries about the future and the regrets of her past.

She doesn't think there's anything missing from her life. Well, at least, that's what she tells herself. She lives in denial about how lonely she is, and how much she still misses her father and dreams about a different life where he never died.

Her wild days of her youth might be mostly behind her, but her nature still leans towards her penchant for chaos. She doesn't mean to, but she has caused more than a few scandals in her time in NYC—both as a teenager and now as an adult.

The relationship she has with her writing is still the longest one she's ever had. Most of the time she focuses on one night stands and does everything in her power to protect her heart. But her work always comes first, sometimes to her detriment, but also to her success.

WC.

A friend from her childhood she's still close with. While Dylan was careless with herself when she was younger, she was never one to hurt her friends. Her trust is hard to earn, but once someone has it, they have it for life.

The ex-best friend who she overdosed with. This is someone who Dylan was inseparable with, but after the night they both could've died, their friendship fell apart. Dylan still carries guilt for what happened, and wishes she could fix it somehow, but has no idea if that's possible.

The almost high school love. Dylan likes to believe that she's never let herself fall in love, but the truth might be far more complicated than that.

Enemies/rivals/etc. Dylan is competitive and definitely has one hell of a temper, so there's a high likelihood she's made some enemies/rivals who she's pissed off more than once.

Honestly I'm down for almost anything and also love plotting based on chemistry, so keep these kind of short 💜💜