#Change My Mind (TM)
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Heyyyyyy @betweenblackberrybranches did you know that I like your automatons designs a lot?
Scans under the cut
#2 versions because yesterday I found out my scanner has two options to scan differently#mind blown#the first is the “photo image” setting and it's more like what it looks in my sketchbook#the second is the “document image” and it changes the color of the paper to white...and adds a lot of contrast too lmao#rambling#automatons au#obv moon because the guy had issues tm and I'm here for that#and because i might have a preference#but don't tell sun lol#i wonder what he's gonna do with that little pendant? is it a gift for someone? *WINK WINK*#ok i'll shut up now#bilolli's art
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i made the mentally ill decision recently to reread homestuck, and all of this needs to go somewhere so
#homestuck#rose lalonde#vriska serket#jade harley#rose is drinking Tab (TM) don't be getting ideas#still on that 2000s fashion kick#even though its not canonically accurate#vriska is a mean nerd change my mind#my art
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Prompt:
Calvin Rose finds a catatonic teenager roaming the streets and… well, the poor kid looks dead on his feet, and it’s raining cats and dogs, he can’t just leave him there.
And, it’s fine. He’s just passing through (can’t risk more with the Court still at large) and will be back on the road come morning. And he’ll sleep easier knowing he kept the kid from certain death.
So, really, how the hell did he end up with the very same kid riding shotgun and nagging him to turn up the radio to Phoebe Bridgers?
#Calvin rose accidentally adopts Jason#stranger to caretaker#talon#court of owls#Calvin is perfect big brother material you can’t change my mind#some roadtrip#some angst#some ‘who tf are you’#coupled with ‘wouldn’t you like to know’#Calvin goes from caring for a catatonic teen to being so good at said care that Jason actually starts healing#the natural way not the green bathwater way#Calvin ‘I liked you better when you talked gibberish’ Rose#Jason ‘a crowbar and a coffin and you’ll have me back to original’ Todd#Calvin ‘… this kid is giving me depression’ Rose#Calvin Rose going out to buy milk and coming back with no milk but Joker’s death all over the news#‘obviously I was just buying milk’#‘yeah? where’s the milk#‘… the store was out of milk’#Jason is SALTY at the batfam#he far prefers the weird murder guy right now thanks#Calvin just likes to get a taste of real family#Calvin ‘look I would sell Jason for a hot cup of coffee but if you look at him sideway prepare to be killed in your sleep’#Calvin rose#jason todd#batfamily#Bruce annihilates the Court so Calvin and Jason make another pit stop#unfortunately the batfam catch sight of Jason in the street#Jason PANICS tm and runs to hide with his totally-not-overprotective ex talon friend#prompts#dick grayson
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my favorite late-seasons tv headcanon (but also a little canon?) is when cas starts to make The silly voices (TM)
they’re not even perfect mimicry, they’re in “his” Cas voice, and they’re so stupid anyone would get secondhand embarrassment hearing them
except dean, that is
dean (a) laughs so hard that he can’t stop/his stomach hurts
or (b) gets flustered
#there should be a fic that is just sam continually being baffled by cas making dumb voices and deans reactions#cas getting sillier and sillier#and sam is like#what ??? is going on here ????#john does this in spnwin so i am led to believe that this was a reference to something cas started doing (TM)#dean may quote movies but cas makes it his business to quote them…in an impression/voice to match#tombstone was not a one off you will not change my mind!!!!!!!!’
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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I've never designed an ohmes-raht in my life
#she doesnt even have a name yet bc i cant settle on anything#originally she was going to have like. regular cheetah colored fur#and when i put that next to faewen their designs sort of melded together#so shes kind of cheetah not really kind of generic wild cat tm#she might change later but. cat lesbian be upon ye dash#in my mind shes much shorter than faewen#probably shorter than Teldryn too? so next to faewen she's going to look So Small#given teldryn already has a foot of difference between ari and faewen (who are the same height)#also someone better at clothing help me design khajiit clothes im so bad at this. yes she lives in solitude no she wont wear nord clothes
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[ID: Image shows U1146 from the Cells at Work anime. He is shown from the chest up, and is facing forward with a neutral expression. /End ID]
#cells at work#hataraku saibou#u1146#this poll has been in my mind n I was finally bothered to make it#debating on doing ones for the other characters rocking classic anime bangs (tm) cause there are quite a few#anyway#my opinion on this is constantly changing#image described
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confessing that i thought i was indifferent about who won between matt and jag but as soon as i realized jag was probably winning i immediately realized i was much more excited for that outcome lol
#i still think on average matt played better but i don’t think a lot of it was on purpose and the jury questions proved it#i have to ponder that more though i might change my mind#but for as much moralizing as that final 3 did… i do think the Better Prrson TM won#bb25
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i need to suck
#tooforwardtotease said mommy milkers andbjlit fundameltlaly change dme.as a perisn#i need them in my mouth#loskng tm fucking mind#need DEATH#mmffggghh#george daniel#the 1975
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[through gritted teeth] i am so normal about this
#no no no it's just like....#the difference between just these two instances from s1 to s3 is FASCINATING to me#he's not asking in the first he's just stating a fact and he's having his belief confirmed#(by a man who's now almost definitely going to be in jail for the rest of his life -#the less extreme of the worst case options jane's had in his head but still nothing to scoff at) he's told with passion and conviction that#the revenge was worth the cost; that he doesn't regret it in the slightest; that it was 'redemptive')#and that's exactly what jane thinks that's what he's built his life around for the past - at least 5? - years#but he IS asking in the second; it's years after the first and he's not the same man he was then#he does still believe in vengeful justice i think but it's not just him that he has in mind now#there's other people to consider - people that found their way into his head and his heart (despite any of his efforts to the contrary)#and he's asking this question to a man who's just been cleared of all charges (were they murder charges? idk i need to watch that ep again)#it's not just him he's thinking of now and it's not just the most concrete costs either#it's....idk it's a shift from the objective costs to the emotional costs; it's the shift from being told to asking i'm just obsessed#(also interesting that these are both men when the only time i can think of off the top of my head where he has this kind of interaction#with a woman is the s1 country club episode? the one with liz forbes? where she breaks down and says it doesn't change a thing#that's a completely new tilt to it too that's something to consider all of this actually has no point but where else am i gonna say it)#tm
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iiii kinda wanna change my name
#i dont mean my legal/deadname ofc obviously i wanna change That#but the name i picked for myself instead a few years ago#i kinda picked it in a hurry bc i was realizing my gender was transing and i needed my deadname detached from me asap#i had a couple of halfhearted excuses for picking it but it was mainly an excuse to switch my online alias to F/eph#since the name started with f#and since then i figured i might as well keep it to continue justifying the eph alias#but. i am no longer so concerned w my own lore tm that i feel i need an excuse for eph#and im realizing that if im gonna be going through the process of medically + socially transitioning id rather do it with a new name#and i do have one in mind#that i think would give me more (gender) euphoria to use and that would lend itself well to both english and my first/home language#unfortunately im not fully out to anyone irl and the few ppl i do talk to online just use eph sooo#i dont rly have anyone to help me try it on. as it were#hmmmmmmmmmmm#personal
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Are you the pan people are transphobic dude
#and y'all can die mad about it for all I care#cope seethe mald#dilate#etc#y'all are just mad because you can't handle different opinions#and that's a you problem#die mad about it#i will absolutely die on this hill whether you like it or not#pan people are transphobic af#Change My Mind (TM)
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Been thinking about it as I approach 5x08 in my S5 rewatch but something something "the actual character arcs are wrapped up steadily either prior to or within the finale" spread out across the main cast is brewing
#specifically how it informs rayllum's relationship arc this season#text post#mine#musings for later#doesn't really work for janai & amaya since they're not big Development characters in terms of#Changing tm but hmm. Yeah#dragons rambles#upcoming#cause like 5x01 and 5x08 are Heavily in conversation with each other#like rayla gets a Tiny arc culmination in 5x09 but viren gets the main one#but everyone else except for claudia arguably ends up the exact same they were at the end of the ep as they were#going in#which isn't the case for anything in arc 1 and even 4x09 had some big developments so#just rotating it around in my mind like a rotisserie chicken
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took a crack at designing a sona! (for pfp purposes)
#tm makes art#sort of half baked... might edit later but don't hold me to that#i gotta make my watermark a tattoo if i do this again that sounds cool#big jackets are a default design choice for me so i might change that too#like they look cool but i actually do have another thing in mind#the jacket was me getting lost in the sauce#my sona
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#haha what do you do when you're having active suicidal thoughts? just ignore them?#i could sh instead and take my mind off it while still hurting myself but in a non life threatening way#i know i have skills i can use but what if i don't want to?#no i need to because i shouldn't kill myself tonight#im going to spain soon and ive wanted to go there for a long time#but i don't even want to go because i am so sick of always being so depressed#and i don't have to feel this way anymore if im dead#but i know i can't do that to my family so i have to keep myself safe and keep suffering#i am kinda thinking of different ways i can do it but im not thinking like specific details or a time frame so i think i don't need hospita#what would going to the hospital even do? best case scenario they admit me to 2 West where my doctor there can be my current doctor#but what then? we're already in the process of changing meds. she can make bigger changes at a time if im under 24 hr supervision#so i guess the goal would be to stabilize me and get me not actively suicidal. but what then? go back to residential or php?#or stay on the path im on now where im supposed to discharge from iop next week and continue tms and weekly individual therapy?#i feel like im going in circles and i make progress just to feel bad again. it never ends.
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