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berries-hcs · 1 month ago

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Old Habits Die Hard (pt. 2/2)

Welcome to part one of my first fic for here, crossposted on my ao3 Bugga_blue https://archiveofourown.org/works/59123362/chapters/150748117 Summary:

Maybe he was coming down with something? His vision did give him an immune boost, making him more resistant to colds that would take over the city as soon as the weather turned, but he had always been a sickly child. It had driven Crepus mad seeing Kaeya come down with something new every other week until his immune system finally adapted after years of living in the city. There were no other symptoms though, his throat wasn't sore and he didn't feel feverish. His thoughts were clouded and heavy, but not in the way it would feel if he were ill, it almost was like-

Oh.

The realization took him by surprise, enough so that he stilled in the center of his room staring at the floor where the was a patterned decorational rug that had likely been there longer than he was alive. It wasn’t unexpected, per se, but he thought he’d have more time before it set in fully.

Or, where Kaeya regresses for the first time in a long time without crashing and has to fight off regressing while on duty Word Count: 5k

Kaeya wished he could say it had been a fluke, but that wouldn’t be true.

After that first day of feeling fuzzy, it was as if the habit had returned with the intent to make up for lost time. He and Lisa never talked about that night, but if the book left on his desk told him anything, he was willing to bet she had understood what it meant. He hadn’t read it of course, but bringing it back would mean he had to acknowledge what happened for her to have thought to leave it there in the first place.

Regressing was quickly becoming a weekly occurrence, and yet somehow still managing to catch the Captain off guard. There were still occasional nights where it came on due to feeling overwhelmed or needing an escape, but more often it would start during the day, growing into the afternoon until he couldn’t deny its presence. There weren’t any specific causes he could identify for it, once a crystalfly that had followed alone him on his patrol route, another by Jean’s gentle and sisterly care coming to check in on him in the Cathedral after he’d taken a bit of a beating from a few treasure hoarders, even Albedo speaking scientific jargon at him about the alchemists newest line of research and experiments. But the one he was finding to be the most recurring and troublesome was the Angel's Share.

More specifically, nights where Diluc was the one serving drinks to him after a long day at work.

Kaeya was always able to keep up with the banter and jabs at first, sitting at the bar while they had what small amount of time they could catch up with each other without feeling too forward or out of place. But, the longer the night would go on- and the more drinks his brother poured for him, the more Kaeya’s brain would be lulled back into that hazy fog.

It had started reaching a point where partway through the night Diluc would cut him off, thinking Kaeya was already drunk! Oh and how he would pout, both for the sake of his image, and also because the alcohol helped remind him to keep up with acting like his older self would.

Diluc never had a good explanation for cutting him off either which was really starting to grate on the younger's nerves. It hadn’t slipped past him that it only occurred on nights his brain had decided to feel more childish and fuzzy, but even if he wasn’t always exactly right Kaeya was confident in still being able to act like his normal self when small well enough that no one would find him suspicious unless they knew what to look for.

Tonight just so happened to be one in the same, Kaeya sat at a barstool up towards the counter, chatting with Diluc between the other serving customers. During the gaps he’d watch his brother diligently make each drink, serving them with efficiency and ease. One after another patrons drinks were poured and sent out in record time.

When he wasn’t serving, Diluc took to food prep and washing glasses while he and Kaeya made small talk. He couldn’t have told you what they talked about even just five minutes before, easily getting lost people-watching while sitting in the other's presence instead.

He was well aware that it was happening, already able to feel the fuzz coming on after he’d finished his first drink, but Kaeya thought he was slowly becoming okay with it being there again. It took adjusting to, but it was something he had used to find comforting, so welcoming it back wasn’t as hard as he thought it might be.

With a last sip the cup in front of him was emptied, one that Diluc took while squinting at the younger accusatorially. He didn’t replace it, even when Kaeya tried to call him back over to get his attention, bringing the glass to the sink to quickly wash and dry.

“Hellooo~ Diluc, can you hear me all the way over there? Are you not going to get me another drink?” Kaeya asked, voice taking on a low whine as he obnoxiously waved one of his hands over the bartop.

Diluc spared him a glance before his eyes moved back to the glass he was wiping down. “I don’t think you need another drink Kaeya,” he spoke with an air of finality. Usually benign spoken to in such a way would have a simpler customer huffing and moving on to the next bar willing to serve them, but Kaeya was anything but a simple customer.

“Wha- What do you mean? My mora says otherwise, that was only my first drink of the night.” With an elbow propped up on the counter, Kaeya leaned against his first petulantly. “I assumed you’d remember that, you are the one who served me after all.”

Diluc scoffed- scoffed! Kaeya let his eyebrows furrow, the more childish part of his brain getting huffy at the denial this early in the night when he truly hadn’t done anything wrong. “Well, can you at least give me a reason- a good one, for why you won’t serve your most valued customer?”

He watched while the other set the glass to the side, watching as the bartender reached for another to polish before looking up in disinterest. “Firstly, you are far from my most valued customer, don’t humor yourself. But if I must give a reason, you’re acting dumb enough already that I thought I’d spare you the drinks, it's obvious you don't need anymore.”

Kaeya let his jaw drop in offense, stumbling over his words as he tried to think of any good response but only managed a squeaky “That’s not true!” before Diluc had gone back to sorting his glasses. “What is it that I’ve done that you’ve deemed stupid? Not only is that not a good enough reason, but I’m hardly even tipsy. There isn’t anything I’ve done that you could pass off as me being drunk like you like to do so often.”

Something in his chest hurt, and Kaeya didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Even on his more annoying nights, Diluc had never stepped in so early, and truthfully Kaeya had just been sitting quietly and observing. There wasn’t a single thing he had done to cause a disturbance or rile up customers, things he had done before and only gotten off with a warning. The more upset he got the thicker the fuzz layered in his brain, though he tried his best to push it away. It wouldn’t do him any good to have his valid tantrum turn into something even more childish than he would have on a different day.

And so he continues to pester, not relenting and even bringing other patrons to his side when Diluc didn’t seem to waiver in his stance. “Charles wouldn’t cut me off for good behavior, do you prefer me to be causing a scene? Is that it?” Kaeya asked, huffing and tapping his foot against the bottom of his stool. “You’ll only serve me when I’m filling the role of an unruly patron? Out of all the people, I would think you’d celebrate me wanting to sit quietly in your sight so I can’t cause an issue without your notice.”

Other customers eyed the pair with unease, most confused at the two’s dynamic or curious as to why the bartender would refuse service for seemingly no reason.

With a sigh Diluc picked up a glass, seeming to realize how much attention they’d gathered, and quickly made Kaeya’s drink before sliding it to him over the countertop. He didn’t look at him, but Kaeya couldn’t help but stare at the other, not noticing how even once getting his way the pout remained as he sipped the drink.

After the first time Diluc didn’t put up much of a fight when Kaeya asked for a new drink, which he was thankful for. It allowed Kaeya to fall back into the peaceful and somewhat hazy mood he was in before, soaking up the atmosphere and chatting with friendly customers while Diluc made their drinks for them. He thought that they worked great together as a pair, Kaeya keeping the customers distracted during rushes which gave Diluc more than enough time to make everyone's drink down to the last detail.

If Diluc appreciated it he didn’t say, at least not with words. After the main evening rush had passed though, the older slid Kaeya a small plate of fruit and cheese. He spun around quickly after, but Kaeya was still able to catch the smile that had unwillingly curled on his brother's lips. Kaeya was finding that the fuzzy part of his brain quite liked this. It faded in and out a bit when he had to put on his persona chatting to customers for Diluc, but now it had come back full force with a pleasant buzz added from the drinks he had kept steadily coming. His feet swung back and forth on the tall stool, thumping against the footrest at the lower portion as he nibbled on his snack.

Diluc began to chat with him again, telling stories about what different workers at the winery had been getting up to. Kaeya missed them badly, it had been so long since he had a chance to stop in for more than just official business, and even then any knights were scarcely allowed at the winery. At one time, when Diluc was busy fixing a large group’s drinks, Kaeya leaned down to let his head rest, using his arms as a makeshift pillow. The bar wasn’t slow by any means, but the main crowd had passed which left a nice hum of various conversations overlapping. The noise was soothing, and without conversation to distract him, Kaeya let his eye close.

It had only felt like a few seconds before he was waking back up, arms stretching out in front of himself reminiscent of a cat from where he was still hunched over the bar counter. Something stood out to him however, the quiet. Kaeya looked around only to find the tavern nearly empty, nearly since the only person left was Diluc who stood to his side.

The redhead said something, his own arms crossing with an unreadable expression on his face, but the words processed at a delay leaving the younger to blink up at him emptily, waiting for him to repeat himself.

“Come on, I said let’s head out. Everything’s closed down, we need to get you home… unless you’d rather spend the rest of the night breaking your neck sleeping like that?”

Kaeya huffed, rubbing at his exposed eye as he sat up on the stool. There was something that fell behind him, but Diluc was quick to pick it up off the floor and wrap it back around Kaeya’s shoulders. It was… his jacket? But why was Diluc putting his own jacket over Kaeya, and why had it been there in the first place?

“But…” Kaeya mumbled, looking once again behind Diluc to the empty room. “But it’s too early for you to close down. Where’d everyone go?”

It wasn’t making any sense, he’d only closed his eye for a moment.

“They all left nearly half an hour ago, I’ve closed the rest of the bar and now it's time for us to leave as well.”

Something about Diluc was off but Kaeya couldn’t quite put his finger on it. His voice was softer, and while he’d gotten used to more than just grumpy looks coming from the other it almost looked like Diluc was amused or nostalgic, like he was remembering something pleasant. “Come on, it’s late. We should get you home now Kaeya.”

Kaeya got to his feet unsteadily, nearly tripping as his foot got caught on one of the bar stool legs before he could tuck it under the counter. Diluc steadied him, not even trying to hide the smirk that followed the uncharacteristically clumsy display. Before he could argue, Kaeya was being shuffled to the door, Diluc blowing out the few remaining candles as they passed them before walking them both out and locking the tavern up behind them.

Looking down the cobbled pathway he was already bracing himself for the walk home. It wouldn’t be so far, but for some reason the trip felt much more daunting than it usually would, even compared to other nights leaving the tavern with his thoughts fuzzy from more than just being tipsy. He took a deep breath, bringing his hands up and lightly patting his cheeks, before taking his first step down the dimly lit street. Or, at least it would be his first step if Diluc’s hand hadn’t landed on his shoulder to stop him from taking off.

The redhead shot him a confused look and a half-mumbled “Hang on a moment,” before tucking the keys for the Angel’s Share further into his bag with his free hand. “Let me walk you down, just need to attach them to the inner chain.”

Diluc was ready after that, straightening up and sending Kaeya a small smile as he moved to head down the same path Kaeya had been planning to take on alone. He even went so far as to look back after the first few steps when the other didn’t immediately follow. “Kaeya? Come on, let’s go.”

In lieu of a response Kaeya allowed himself a few confused blinks before moving to catch up, even more surprised when Diluc’s hand reached out to wrap around his wrist while they walked. Whether it was because he wanted to make sure Kaeya didn’t stop walking again, or just out of instinct Kaeya wasn’t sure, but what he did know was that it made him stumble on his feet enough to be glad for Diluc’s hand there to steady him with how quickly a wave of fog rushed to cloud his brain. It felt just like when he was seven or eight, Diluc tugging him along into the woods that lined the winery while their father worked to go play knights. Diluc had always been the one tugging him along, making sure he kept up so he wouldn’t get lost or hurt, not that Kaeya minded or wanted to be far from his newly found brother back then.

By the time he blinked out of the onslaught of memories, they were already approaching his home. Personally, Kaeya couldn’t wait to be able to flop down in his bed. He was half tempted not to bother even changing out of his day clothes- even with fresh air hitting his face the sleepiness still weighed heavily with each step he took.

Diluc was practically dragging him to his door, spinning to face him once they got there with an expectant look.

“Where are your keys, we’ll need those to get in won’t we?” The elder’s voice took on a familiar tone. The same he used to use when they were both still in training and he thought Kaeya had done something amusing. Kaeya didn’t quite understand what about him needing to pull out his keys was so tease-worthy, but nonetheless reached to where he kept his side pouch to pull them out.

Before he could reach in front of Diluc to put them in Diluc had plucked it right from his hand, unlocking it and pulling them both inside before flicking the lights on.

It was bright, and Kaeya had to blink away spots from the sudden shift. Diluc didn’t seem nearly as phased, which Kaeya could admit made him pout. Instead, he was able to drop his hold on Kaeya’s wrist and move further into the house, leaving the knight standing off to the side of the entranceway rubbing at his one exposed eye.

After about another 30 seconds he was able to look around the room without squinting, finding Diluc carefully investigating the different corners of his house, even going so far as to wipe dust from a side table on his way to the kitchen. Without a word he was pilfering through Kaeya’s cabinets, pushing glasses out of the way as if looking for something specific.

“What are you…” Kaeya trailed off, Diluc didn’t even turn to look at his half-mumbled and if he was being honest with himself, childishly sounding start. All he could do was restart and hope his brother really hadn’t heard. “‘Luc, what are you looking for? You got me home just, I just want to go to sleep now and you have a long walk back to the winery.”

“I’m looking for a suitable cup,” Diluc said, sending one of his well-known exasperated looks over his shoulder before turning and continuing to search through the top shelves of his kitchen. “I don’t trust you not to spill in the state you’re in now. I know you used to have one with- There it is! Finally, but, it's covered in dust Kaeya how long has it been since you…”

Kaeya watched the other pull a small cup out from where Kaeya had pushed it deep in the back of his cupboards. It was a pale blue, rather simple design outside of the few stickers that were faded and worn from years of use, then a lack of use in the more recent years, but what made this cup more ‘suitable’ as Diluc had put it compared to his other glasses was the lid. It was a children's cup that had a lid with a spout to stop it from spilling, and the sight of it alone brought heat to his cheeks after years of trying to forget it existed while being unable to make himself throw it away.

That cup, he decided right then, was his newest enemy for the night.

He tried to think of something to say, Diluc was looking at him expectantly, but his words were failing him as different excuses passed by his thoughts.

“Um… That’s… not mine.” He mumbled, walking to the kitchen to try to stop Diluc from turning to wash it. Diluc scoffed and brushed off the attempt to grab the cup from his hands and turned the water on.

“I don’t- Diluc I don’t do that anymore. I don’t need the cup just… just go home, you got me back here and-”

Ignoring him Diluc filled the cup up and twisted the lid on tightly.

“You don’t do it anymore? Well to me it sure seems like you might. What was the nickname we used to use for you again?”

“Diluc you’re not- You’re not listening to me” Kaeya knew what name, of course he remembered, but if Diluc said it he might not be able to put on his act anymore, and he wasn’t sure how that would go for either of them. “I don’t do that anymore, I said. I’ve not for a long long time, I don’t need the cup.”

Kaeya tried to pull the cup out of his hands, it felt much to dangerous and embarrassing to have Diluc holding it. Diluc wasn’t phased, just letting the younger try to wrestle it out of his grasp while bringing the other hand up to his chin in thought, as if Kaeya wasn’t trying to shake him to stop. “That’s it, Dewdrop, wasn’t it? Though I’m afraid Snowdrop might be a bit more fitting all things considered.”

If he wasn’t blushing before, Kaeya was sure his face must be bright red now. Not only was the fact Diluc remembered bad enough, he remembered enough specifics to know his nickname and make new one’s playing off of it. It was getting harder and harder to think, Kaeya knew realistically he was only slipping further into his headspace no matter how much he tried to fight it off. So much for thinking he was doing a good job at hiding it.

“I don't- that’s… That’s not me, you’re remembering wrong.”

Diluc tilted his head to the side, but the smirk on his face stayed. “Really? Could have fooled me, you said you didn’t do it anymore but you still can. You are right now, whether you admit it or not. You were always quite stubborn when you were-”

He moved from where he’d been holding onto Diluc’s arm, hands flying to cover his mouth instead. “No! I’m not- don’t. Don’t say it ‘Luc.”

Seeing how worked up Kaeya was getting Diluc softened, moving the hand off of his mouth and his voice shifting from that playful teasing tone into a caring one that made Kaeya feel like his brain was melting. “Why can’t I say it Kae? Why’d you stop regressing, it helped you a lot when we were younger. Can you try to explain it to me?”

Kaeya looked away. He didn’t want to have to explain it.

Even still he let Diluc take his hand and listened when the other led him up the stairs and peeked at the different doorways until he found Kaeya’s bedroom. He let Diluc be the one to search his dresser to find pajamas and followed instructions when he was asked to change while Diluc left the room to get a drink of his own.

But Kaeya couldn’t pull himself out of his thoughts, not that they had any direction at the moment. He was stuck in a circle, but Diluc was here, and Kaeya was quickly finding it harder and harder to put on any type of a front even to himself. It felt painfully familiar, Diluc used to know every way to pester, to tease, exactly what buttons to push in and out of Kaeya’s regression. Knowing how much Diluc knew and could use to get a reaction from him only made the fuzz stronger.

He wanted it, he wanted Diluc. He wanted to not want it.

That was the main issue, wasn’t it? He wanted to not want it, but he did want it. He felt better in the months of playing around and fighting it off like some kind of game than he did trying to ignore any urge until it nearly stopped entirely.

He didn’t have time to dwell on that thought when Diluc knocked before slipping back into his room, his cup in hand that he was sipping from.

Kaeya hadn’t managed to change, getting too lost in his own mind which Diluc sighed at. He set his cup down on the taller of Kaeya’s dressers before sitting on the bed next to Kaeya and undoing the laces at the back of his corset.

He did try to squirm away, blushing again at the gentle attention, but Diluc weaseled his hand down the front of his corset and landed a few well-placed squeezes that had him flopping backward onto Diluc’s chest to get away. It didn’t do much good when the hand itself was trapped in his own corset but Diluc managed to get the corset undone between Kaeya’s kicking and squirming. By the time he got it fully off Kaeya curled into a ball against the older’s side, residual giggles escaping much to Diluc’s amusement.

“I see that method still works then?”

Kaeya had a feeling his glare didn’t quite land how he wanted it to when he was still red in the face and giggly, but he tried nonetheless.

Diluc easily brought Kaeya back up to a sitting position, though still leaned against his chest. He didn’t fight it this time, instead choosing to hide in Diluc’s shoulder and absorb the warmth he let off, though he didn’t seem against it. He used the opportunity to free Kaeya’s ponytail from his hair and lean over to grab the brush off of his nightstand.

They didn’t talk while Diluc slowly worked the tangles out, starting at the bottom and working up until he had to lean the very nearly asleep Kaeya up from where he’d been using Diluc’s shoulder as a pillow, much to the bluenette's chagrin.

The movement was met with a whine and pout, but after a bit of prompting Kaeya let Diluc sit him up to brush out his bangs. Before he was allowed to flop back down, which was the plan, he said something though Kaeya found himself staring blankly at the other as the words failed to register.

Diluc tilted his head a bit to the side and frowned, grabbing onto Kaeya’s nightshirt before repeating himself. This time Kaeya knew to expect him to talk so made sure to listen carefully.

“Let’s get you dressed before you fall asleep in your work clothes, you’ll smell tomorrow if you sleep like this.”

Kaeya whined but didn’t cling when Diluc stood, or put up a fight when he brought Kaeya to stand after. Diluc mostly encouraged Kaeya to change on his own, minimally helping during the process outside of helping to get his shirt off when the chain got tangled in his hair. Diluc let Kaeya slide his pajamas on himself, thankfully not needing any help to get them on. Even if his half-asleep self wouldn’t have thought much of it or even was registering the assistance already given, he’s sure he would have died on the spot waking up tomorrow if he’d needed help dressing. Worse he wouldn’t be able to even face going to the tavern for weeks.

Diluc motioned for him to lay back down in bed, which Kaeya was fast to follow, huddling under his blankets and preparing to curl up when he saw Diluc turning towards the door and straightening his sleeves. Before he realized what he was doing Kaeya gasped, grabbing onto Diluc’s wrist before the other could step too far away.

Diluc turned to look at him, his gaze questioning but quiet. He was waiting for Kaeya to make the first move, but Kaeya was struggling to bring his eyes past where their hands were, instead turning to look down at his lap.

He knew Diluc was waiting for him to say something, but the words evaporated in his mouth the moment he tried to conjure them up.

Diluc took a step closer again, putting a hand in Kaeya’s hair and crouching down to put himself in Kaeya’s line of sight. “Oh… You’re very young aren’t you Kae? I… Would you- Should I stay?”

Kaeya tugged on his arm again, scooting to try to pull the other back into the bed. He wasn’t sure what Diluc was really asking, but he knew the word stay and that would have to be enough. “Stay. ‘Luc stay?”

Diluc crumbled, his entire posture softening as he crouched back down to be at face level with Kaeya, the act itself making him feel impossibly smaller. Diluc didn’t fight back when Kaeya grabbed his hair with one hand, he was saying something but Kaeya couldn’t focus enough to listen. He could make out individual words, but when said all at once they got jumbled in his brain. Sometimes Common was harder to remember than it should have been, no matter how long it had been since he’d first started learning.

None of that mattered though. He was so tired, why wasn’t DIluc lying down in bed?

Diluc pried his hand out of his hair and straightened up. Kaeya was surprised to hear a soft whine from somewhere nearby, even more surprised when Diluc shushed him. That… was him?

Both of Kaeya’s hands quickly flew to his mouth, doing their best to stop any more shocking sounds from sneaking out.

Diluc chuckled at the dramatics, moving to Kaeya’s dresser again. He was confused, but it wasn’t long till Diluc began to pull clothes out and hold them up to himself. Then it clicked, of course Diluc was going to need pajamas if he was going to stay over, how did Kaeya forget?

The younger padded out of bed to the small closet space where he kept some clothes that were out of season for him. There were a few which were oversized so if needed he could layer without complication. He had a tendency to run colder than others without noticing, so between Jean and others, they always made sure he remembered to bundle up.

Diluc followed him over, peering in before taking out a larger shirt and quickly trading it for his own. He must have found some of Kaeya’s loose-fitting pants in the drawer which would work well enough for sleeping in. It was only a few moments before Diluc was ushering Kaeya back into bed, his own cup being sat down next to where Kaeya’s sippy cup was on the nightstand.

The redhead lifted the blanket, letting Kaeya crawl back under before laying down and trapping Kaeya on the inside of the bed. It didn’t matter though, Kaeya was determined to worm his way on top of Diluc the moment the other was even starting to lay against the pillows. Diluc only laughed at the eagerness, wrapping one of his arms over Kaeya’s shoulders to hold him closer.

Kaeya, in turn, clings to Diluc’s shirt as if to hold him in place- not that there is much of anywhere he could go like this. When Diluc speaks he feels more than hears Diluc talking, letting out a small hum of his own to match before huffing when his pillow begins shifting again. He didn’t go far this time, only stretching one arm out to grab something, bringing it back to the bed to hold with both hands. It was a rather odd position for Diluc, but apparently, there wasn’t much else choice if he were to keep his arm around Kaeya still.

And he was talking again, only this time he didn’t stop. Kaeya could hear something shuffle over his head, almost like a page turning, but it was too much effort to peel his eye open to see what Diluc was up to. Quickly, Kaeya was being lulled to sleep from the rumbling of Diluc’s chest and the sound of his voice.

Waking up in the morning Kaeya found himself clinging to a pillow in place of human warmth. It was a slow process, but memories began to slowly fade in and when it finally clicked his eyes shot open to look around his room. Surely it had to be some strange hyper realistic dream of sort because there was no way what he remembered could truly be what happened. At least, he wanted to believe that before he stretched, hand knocking into the blue sippy cup on the nightstand.

He scooted to the edge of his bed, the cup itself enough confirmation as he needed to send heat to his face, but more interested in the note that seemed half hazardously written underneath.

Dewdrop, I hope you slept well, and understand I had to leave earlier this morning to return to the winery and tend to a few early morning tasks. Do keep the cup from gathering dust, lest I need to come dig it out again… though I don’t mind bringing you home from the Angels Share since this is seeming to be a habit you fall into there. We can talk more another evening, perhaps when you aren’t a child.

Take care,

‘Luc

Well, Kaeya thought to himself. This was surely going to be an interesting development. He looked outside, able to see where those in the city were starting to go about their daily tasks, shops opening and townsfolk mulling through the cobble paths. Maybe this being a reality wouldn’t be the worst thing.

#genshin impact #kaeya alberich #little!kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #cg!diluc #jean gunnhildr #lisa minci #ragbros #reconciliation #part 2/2 #age regression fic #age regression #age re #genshin agere

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berries-hcs · 1 month ago

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Old Habits Die Hard (pt. 1/2)

Welcome to part one of my first fic for here, crossposted on my ao3 Bugga_blue https://archiveofourown.org/works/59123362/chapters/150748117 Summary:

Oh.

Or, where Kaeya regresses for the first time in a long time without crashing and has to fight off regressing while on duty

word count: 7.5k

One mission after another, hilichurl camp after camp, and helping knights with their tasks, commissions, and posts across Mondstadt - it was a sure thing to say Kaeya felt exhausted. But if there was one thing he could do, almost too well if you asked Jean or Lisa, it was to put on a ‘brave face’ consisting of playful smirks, sarcastic comments, and weaving his way through conversation with instinctual ease.

Even so, as the week drew on he found his masks slipping, becoming increasingly more difficult to call upon any time a stray knight would slide up to him to chat about their latest reports, or one of the kids in training would run to him for tips and advice. Even the knights he usually would choose to talk to in the halls to ‘avoid the paperwork in his office’ as some liked to accuse him of feeling stunted, even to the point of causing his heart to jump in his chest when rounding the corner to hear their routine friendly greetings.

Of course it was hidden flawlessly, a smile making its way across his lips and words flowing, though he couldn’t tell you what had been said on either end. He kept walking, spinning around with a raised coffee cup, freshly poured, and gotten on his way in. The cup warmed his hands, fingers near always freezing and stiff until he’d been awake for a few hours without it, and the way the warmth eased itself throughout his whole body each sip helped to calm the frayed nerves.

He was running on a mere three hours of sleep for the day, which over the past month was becoming a new norm as more conflicts between the abyss and Fatui began to ramp up. The night prior he had gotten back from a mission too late to pick up groceries, so he also was without his normal breakfast. Today he was planning to stick to his office so coffee would have to sustain him till lunch. Still, something lingered, a haze that he tried to convince himself was just a groggy and hunger-fueled fluke, doubtful as it was. There had been many mornings he had come to headquarters without having eaten or having pulled an all-nighter - somewhere he failed to make it to his house at all before the next morning, and it had never led to such a lapse in his facade.

No, he knew what it was and was lucky few and far between those at headquarters would know what to even look at in that regards. Jean and Lisa both had sent him home before, knowing once he went quiet that something was up, but this was more than him in a set mindset zombie-like state. He wasn’t that far gone, and still felt plenty if not hyper-aware of his surroundings.

This wasn’t anything physical, which significantly limited the list of options to rule out, the list more of wishful thinking than options he would truly believe. He set his cup down on his desk and mindlessly began rifling through files. Pushing the thought away Kaeya decided to focus on his work, settling with an older file yet to be processed and preparing to read over reports until they all blurred together.

The day passed slowly, much slower than it usually would have felt even for a day in the office. Could he be blamed for how distracted he was, growing stronger every dull paragraph he read? More than once he found himself standing to pace the length of his room, not able to stay seated but unable to stomach leaving his office to walk the halls. The thought alone made his heart spike in his chest and stomach churn with unease.

Oh.

Kaeya dove deeper into his mind, waiting to be sure before he let himself even half consider his suspicions as more than a faint memory twisted with lack of sleep and recent nostalgia. But the signs were all there, lack of attention span, fidgeting, his coffee being left unfinished on his desk due to a lack of sweetness he hadn’t been able to properly explain (or didn’t want to admit to) why he was craving. And most telling, the persistent thin layer of fuzz coating his thoughts like dew on morning grass, encompassing everything but so easy to brush to the side.

The moment it was acknowledged he could feel it spread thicker, thoughts sticky and hazey as if submerged in syrup. It had been years since this happened outside of him crashing after strained weeks and stressful evenings. Why now, it had been so long since his thoughts had been taken over by regression outside of a dire and desperate need for his mind to cope, to heal, and have just the slightest break.

He wasn’t able to take a moment to even process the resigned realization as heels rapidly clicked down the hallway towards his office. Kaeya scrambled back behind his desk, lacking the usual grace and respect he prided himself on, sitting and grabbing his drink just in time for a knock to land heavily on his door before cracking open.

Jean peeked her head in before sliding through and closing it behind her. She brought an air of professionalism that waved off of her, and for a moment Kaeya was jealous while his heart raced behind his ribs. He kept the cup to his lips longer than needed to hide the grimace as the flavor of cold dark coffee lingered on his tongue. He forced himself to swallow and lean back, setting the cup down before crossing his arms across his chest as if that alone would keep his heart from jumping out.

“Jean, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He spoke, forcing his voice to be smooth and teasing.

The woman in question relaxed behind the walls of his room, her shoulders easing and sagging in a rare display of calm, matching him with her own playful tone. “Seeing as you haven’t left your room since getting in I thought it best to make sure you hadn’t been captured, or caught in some prank like when Albedo-”

“I can assure you nothing of the sort has happened-” he cut her off, unable to force the heat off his cheeks remembering that particular event. His honor never fully recovered, even to this day. “I’ve simply been doing my work I’ll have you know, Acting Grandmaster.”

“And speaking of, you were meant to bring me down the paperwork on the most recent raid on the Fatui camp at 12?” The statement was posed like a question, one of her perfect eyebrows arching as a smile grew on her face.

Kaeya looked from her to the clock placed on his wall… Fuck. When did it get to be half past one? At least the panic helped him shake off the fuzz blurring his thoughts, though he never felt the same pressure with Jean as he did regular townsfolk to keep up appearances. Jean knew him too well for his persona to work on her.

He jumped forward in his seat, racing through the completed files and grinning as he held up the ones she needed. “Aha! here it is, must have just lost track of time. You know me, I am very studious when it comes to my work, it's difficult to pull myself away at times. I’m sure you understand?”

Jean took the files with a scoff. “Oh yes, you’re known for being the most dedicated knight in our forces when it comes to paperwork,” She sneaked, voice laced heavily with sarcasm as the two grinned at each other. This was not the first time they’d done this song and dance.

Before he could swallow it down a chuckle made its way up from his chest. Well, at first he assumed it would be a chuckle, though as he heard it bounce off the stone walls it was much higher pitch than anything he would normally have let past his lips. Kaeya Alberich did not giggle.

His eyes momentarily widened, shocking himself, though Jean only looked caught off guard for a moment before falling into her own laughter. Instead of leaving like he expected, she pulled a chair out from in front of his desk, setting the folder in her lap as she sat down.

“How are you then? Work must be pretty interesting to have kept you at it so long?” She asked, the care in her voice made something bounce in his chest though he tried to push it down. Her voice was lighter than how it had been, similar to how she talked to Barbara or some of their younger staff. No matter how respectful she tried to remain in her position she always softened her voice when talking to Klee or the other children in Mondstadt. This was the jean he remembered playing cards with during evenings in town, the one who on the odd evening would sit outside under trees and let himself feel-

Kaeya buffered, shaking his head and shifting in his seat as he pushed the memories away. If he let himself reminisce right now he was sure he wouldn't be able to fend off the attack, and yes he was going to call it an attack, on his mind.

“Same old work as always, it’s a wonder I haven’t fallen asleep at this rate- a very duteous sleep! I can assure you that that’s never happened before.” He grinned at her cheekily, the banter was always easy when they rambled together, both gripping about their day. It was their way of checking in with each other, not many others were around who either would fully let their guard down with, especially not without letting their concerns spread to citizens.

It was that same ease that made Kaeya put his guard down enough not to notice the fuzz slipping further and further forward. How his smiles got bigger and he fell into the habit of talking heavily with his hands he had long tried to get rid of came back as if he had never pushed the instinct down to start with. Jean watched with a look he couldn’t quite place but it made his chest feel warm.

“Make sure you get some lunch,” she motherhenned. “Don’t think i haven’t noticed you skipping your breaks recently.”

The bluenette sighed, looking wearily out the window. From his office he could see the shops in the city center, surely it wouldn’t take long to go down and find something to bring back up but the thought itself made him feel ready to slump to the floor in dramatics.

Jean must have sensed his shift in mood, tilting her head and following his gaze. Quiet filled the room, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. After a few moments Jean seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts, instead giving Kaeya the an option that could have made him sing her praises a million times over. “Well, I do have to go down to visit Barbara at the Cathedral. I was planning to pick something up myself, I could always bring you something back as well if you’d like?”

The other hummed in thought, eyes peeling away from the streets of his city, but not saying a word.

Jean stood, readjusting her cape and tightening her ponytail as she prepared to head into town. “I was thinking Good Hunters sounded wonderful on a day like this, what would you like from there?”

“Pancakes?” He said hopefully before he had the chance to catch himself, memories coming forward of their delicious brunch deal, though the pancakes went all day long as they were also a popular dessert. He could practically smell how it would be topped with whipped cream and fresh berries, with a sweet honey drizzle to tie it all together in one tooth-rotting delicious snack.

He was rudely pulled out of his daydream by the cackle Jean let loose, leaning on her chair for support. “That’s hardly a lunch! If anything I believe that would send you into a sugar crash. What about your usual, the roasted fowl with potato and carrots?”

Kaeya pouted as she wiped the mirth from her eyes, “No-,” he corrected, “If anything the sugar would give me the energy I need for these bor~ing reports I need to sort through! And a heavy meal like the fowl would be sure to put me to sleep.”

“Knowing you, you’ll just be hyped up like a child let loose in a candy shop”

The comparison was enough to make Kaeya sit up straighter, seeing the flicker of suspicion, and was that eagerness? In the grandmaster's eyes. It had only been a second, and within a blink the look was gone, instead replaced with a dramatically annoyed expression she reserved exclusively for her Cavalry Captain.

Before he had a chance to come up with a retort she was swiftly turning on her heel, shoes clicking on the stone floors as she moved off the carpet in front of his desk. “We shall see, I trust you’ll do your due diligence while I make a trip for us both then?”

“Of course,” Kaeya spoke, clearing his throat when his voice sounded slightly too high for his taste. “I live to serve after all.”

She left the room with a hash laugh that echoed down the hall, leaving Kaeya alone to wonder. Surely she hadn’t been suspicious, right? Nothing outright about his behavior would have been enough to give him away or had been overly childish. Of course, she had known about his habit, one of the few friends he had trusted to indulge in it with back before things had taken a turn.

The longer he tried to analyze the interaction the more he could feel himself struggle to keep his composure. Though difficult, Kaeya tried to focus back on his work for the time being, if she returned only for him to have zero progress then that would be even more of a giveaway to her suspicions.

Resigned, he picked his pen back up and used all of his willpower to focus on the files in front of him.

Perhaps Jean had been right, though he was loath to admit it- such a statement wouldn't be able to have been pried from his lips under even the most excruciating torture. But, he had to admit the sugar from the pancakes she (begrudgingly) returned with had helped to give him a much-needed boost within the first half hour, but quickly shifted the quiet fuzz that had been lurking still into an ever-present buzzing in his thoughts. Words became harder to focus on and though at first he found himself fidgeting more than signing with his pen, now he needed to force himself standing just to keep his head from drooping onto his desk - which may have happened once already and the sharp pain that came from unexpectedly falling face first into his work was enough to make him not want a repeat. His nose was still sore if he focused on it for too long.

That was how he found himself leaving his room only a few hours away from his shift coming to a close to hide away in the library where Lisa could chat him up and wouldn’t question him aimlessly flipping through books. He did pass a few knights, though they seemed to catch on that their usually boisterous Captain was lacking his usual bounce as the conversations didn’t last long.

He was happy to finally make it to the library doors, hyping himself up as he got closer to put on a big burst of energy- while Lisa wouldn’t question him letting her carry the conversation while he looked at books he still had a reputation to uphold about his energy. If he gave too much away about how tired he felt then she would not be one to let it drop.

With a fashionable wave of his cape, Kaeya burst through the doors with a big smile. Lisa spun around in shock at the noise, but calmed once she saw who it was.

“What a grand entrance, to what do I owe the pleasure Sir Kaeya?” She lulled, her voice sweet and silky as she moved to lean against one of the nearby tables.

While Kaeya had focused on getting the energy forward to pass off his exhaustion, he hadn’t had the foresight to think of what to say once he was inside. It wasn't something he usually had to even consider, his and Lisa’s dynamic came so naturally he would usually end up speaking before the words even registered through his mind, shocking himself with what he said as well. So when he paused even just for a second Lisa was quick to take notice.

Kaeya cleared his throat, looking anywhere but where she had raised her eyebrows to him in question. “What, am I not welcome to come and visit one of my fellow protectors of Mondstadt? That would be such a shame, but I suppose if my presence is unwanted I can-”

Even as he was the one to say it the thought of him being sent away sent a pang straight through his chest he hadn’t been expecting. The insecurities and fears it brought up were childish, and he was only stronger now after the reasons they had been put in his mind in the first place. That didn’t mean the thoughts didn’t make the ever-present mindset grow stronger.

Lisa laughed to herself, waving a hand through the air as if to dismiss thoughts she couldn’t have known he was having. “Of course a cutie like yourself is always welcome in my quarters, in fact, I’ve missed you with how busy the knights have kept you as of late.”

“You’ve been kept plenty occupied yourself, it looks like both of us have neglected the other as of late,” and it was true. Lisa was juggling her librarian duties with the townsfolk on top of being put in charge of research gathering and pooling resources for various ongoing investigations with the Knights of Favonious.

Kaeya wanders around the room, floating from shelf to shelf as they chit-chat back and forth until his responses are more of hums than anything else. Lisa notices, he knows she does, but he finds her voice so soothing he can't be bothered to try to pretend to be sociable right now. It’s doing nothing to help how sleepy he feels, but he can’t force himself to leave either. It’s nice.

At some point she returned to her desk, mindlessly sorting books ordered into boxes ready to be shipped out. Kaeya had become fixated on quite a few shelves with more colorful books than those he would usually pick up. He made another agreeable noise as the librarian continued to talk, he heard something about flowers and the upcoming spring season, but if he was being honest the words had stopped registering as anything more than a comforting noise. He pulled out one of the books, the cover had a white fox on the front of it with a large snow creature standing ominous in the background, half hidden by snow flurries and swirls of wind.

“Did you hear me cutie?”

Kaeya looks up from where he was tracing the front cover with his finger along the wind. “Hmm?”

“An eloquent response,” She teased, “I asked if you were free this evening, but I see you’ve taken interest in one of my books. Which is it? Perhaps I can tell you if it has what you’re looking for or direct you to what you need.”

The ice wielder looked at her frozen in place, but when she met his eyes at his lack of response he found himself looking back to the book in his hands rather than hold her gaze. “I- um, yeah I should be free tonight?” He said as if he wasn’t sure of the answer himself. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t be free, but with how heavy his brain felt and his regression steadily coming closer to the front out of seemingly nowhere, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle much more than going home and sleeping the evening away.

“Good, I’ll come meet you in your office at the end of the day and we can head down to the Angels Share together then?”

“I-”

“No If’s and’s or buts! It’s been much too long since we last got together outside of work, now about that book you have-” Instead of waiting for a response the seal on the bind of the book began to glow and it flew from Kaeya’s hands straight to Lisa’s. By the time he had registered what was happening it was much to late to be able to grab it back.

“Oh.”

Kaeya was paralyzed as the book landed in her hands, she looked confused, eyebrows bunching and a slight pout showing at the corner of her lips. Thoughts began to run through his head out of his control. Had he been caught? What was she going to say, what did she think? ‘Oh’ wasn’t a very telling response now was it? Surely he could come up with something to say to dismiss that he’d been looking at the book at all, but in this moment of panic all excuses he could have came up with were being frowned out by the onslaught of anxieties and concern.

“Have you never read this one sweetheart? It’s a nice story, Klee comes back to check it out every once in a while. A lone fox lost on a mountain, and- well, it wouldn’t be very nice of me to spoil the ending now would it.” she cracked the book open, the confused look on her face fading to a fond one.

Sweetheart, The nickname echoed in his mind as he watched her step closer. Lisa’s nicknames almost never phased him, it was simply just something anyone who knew her would have to come to accept. But for some reason this time it sent waves of the fuzzing buzzy feeling over his whole body. He had to fight the urge to curl into himself even, just a simple nickname shouldn’t have had anywhere near that strong of an impact. He wasn’t even sure why it had.

“I’ll see you later tonight!” he said quickly, already halfway out the door and all but running back to his office to get away from the suffocating fuzz. There was no denying it anymore, even to himself that he was steadily becoming more regressed as the day went on, but that had simply been too much at once. It had been so long since he let himself be overtaken by the soothing waves that layered his thoughts to wash away the bad. So long that instead of the calming effect it used to have he was left feeling lost and more anxious than anything else.

He didn't know how to do this anymore, and the Knights Headquarters was the last place he would have ever wanted the habit to make its return. Well- one of the last places, it was at least high on the list of where he couldn’t under any circumstances let it happen.

Once back safely behind the closed doors to his office Kaeya let himself slump in his chair, legs instinctually curling up to his chest as he dealt with his thoughts.

What could he do? He had never been very good at pushing his regression away, those who who had known about it- oh had they loved to tease him for it. Diluc used to deliberately rile him up so he wouldn’t notice it happening, then by the time he caught on he was too far gone and left pouting at him and Jean. Something they would only use against him to tease with, but he felt even less capable of trying to push it away now than back then, having gotten used to it only coming forward when he had exhausted every other method to distract himself from coping.

The more he tried to bring his personal forward, the more drained he felt, and then the more detached and fuzzy his brain left him. He knew he would have to gather himself to go out, there was no backing out of plans with Lisa now, it would just draw her to observe him closer as if he were a book she had yet to understand or read. He looked up to his clock, only two more hours before he would be expected to go out and put on the same face he did for the rest of Mondstadt. He had time to figure this out, he always did.

Holding a deep breath Kaeya steadied himself, clearing his throat and bringing his legs back down so his feet touched the floor. His mind was still coated in the thick fuzz, but if he had no other choice he would make a game out of this. He could bring his mask out whether he felt like his usual self of… like this.

And so he did, making a game of how quickly he could read through assignments while still paying attention to the important details, and having fun assigning groups for quests he thought would be funny combinations. If he deliberately left the heavier or more intense assignments for another time then no one else would be the wiser.

That's how Lisa came to find him later that evening. Luckily the time seemed to fly by quickly this time around, and the two headed off with one in much higher spirits than their last talk only a few hours prior.

Kaeya was excited, the sugar crash from his lunch having come and gone leaving him once again with more energy than normal as he was happy to leave the castle. He has to stop himself from letting the extra bounce he was feeling show in his steps as the two walked- much too slowly for his taste- down to the bar. Now that he wasn’t trying to force the fuzziness away he was quite happy to be social. IT had been so long since he had gotten to hang out with others without the pressure or other horrible things looming over him. Though he’d prefer not to be dealing with it at all, he could at least use the fuzziness to take advantage of how carefree it let him feel for the moment.

Lisa seemed oddly entertained by his antics, which was enough to let him know he wasn’t doing a very good job of acting like his usual self, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind. At one point she had even reached to ruffle his hair! They had already left the castle and he was sure to talk her ear off about how he had a public image to protect, and he wouldn’t stand to have her ruining it by messing up his perfectly kept hair, though that only made her laugh.

The pair made it to the tavern, slipping inside and moving to find a table in the corner. It was only early evening, so the bar had yet to fill up, but with many getting off work it was sure to become quite lively in just a little bit of time. Lisa offered to order them a snack to eat while they chatted as well as to get them both drinks to start with, so Kaeya let himself adjust in his chair to look around the bar.

Of course, it hadn’t changed since the last time he was there just the day prior, but he took comfort in how familiar it felt. That comfort only grew when Lisa came back to him with a platter full of fruit, cheese, and crackers on one arm and their drinks in her hand. He took the glasses, setting them gracefully off to the side. His smelled sweet, but the smell of alcohol hit him first.

He… hadn’t considered that. Though there had been a few nights he would feel the familiar fuzz after a few too many drinks, he couldn’t remember a single time he had started drinking already being regressed. Something twisted in his stomach at the thought unpleasantly. Rather than sipping straight away as he normally would, he plucked a fresh apple slice off the platter and munched on it while Lisa took a sip of her own colorful cocktail.

The other didn’t seem to notice his reluctance to drink straight away, something that was very uncharacteristic of Kaeya, but after a few minutes of chatting and snacking he braved the drink. He knew it wouldn’t have been made any stronger than it normally would, but he had to hold back an obvious grimace as the taste washed over his tongue. He knew from experience that if he drank enough he wouldn’t notice the alcohol at all, so it was only a matter of being able to get to that point.

He took big sips and washed them down with sweet grapes and berries to cover the taste before it lingered too long. One drink in and he was starting to get the buzz he was used to. It mixed with the childish fuzziness was leaving him happy with big smiles that came easy and loud laughter when he and Lisa joked and exchanged stories.

She was finishing up a story about a recent potion she’d been testing that had taken an unexpected turn, leaving a slight pink fog that lingered in the ceiling of her home office for days when she noticed both of their drinks were empty. “How about you head up this time sweetheart, I think i might need to excuse myself to the ladies room for a moment,” She said standing and moving her cup toward the wall where they could collect a pile of empty dishes.

Kaeya stood as well, turning to hide the blush that snuck across his cheeks while setting his glass down. Lisa and her nicknames were going to be the end of him tonight at this rate.

The two split off after she gave him the name of her order, and Kaeya made his way to stand in line at the counter. It had gotten much busier between when they first arrived to now. At some point there also must have been a shift change he hadn’t been able to see behind the wall. He had been expecting to see Charles behind the counter, but instead he was met with familiar red hair and a scowl.

Kaeya shook himself off and quickly tried to lay his normal persona on thick as he walked up to the bar with a smirk that felt hard to hold. “Master Diluc! What brings you here tonight?”

The man in question, who the younger refused to let his thoughts linger on- that would only spell disaster given how the blurriness of alcohol mixed with his carefree childish state- fixed him with a glare and a raised eyebrow. “I do work here, or have you already soiled your memory with alcohol tonight Sir Kaeya?”

Kaeya waved a hand through the air nonchalantly, ignoring how the tone he took made him want to curl into a ball right there on the floor. “Of course not, I’ve only had one drink so far tonight, and plan to get another if you’d please. One for me and Miss Lisa, I believe she ordered one of your specials last, and well, you know my usual I trust.” His words felt stilted, like they wouldn’t flow freely no matter how hard he tried, only this time not being due to a drunken slur.

Diluc turned around to prepare both drinks, managing to sequentially ignore him as well.

He had always liked watching Diluc work, even when they were younger, though those memories were quickly pushed to the side with how they made his chest ache. Diluc was always confident in his actions, seamlessly making the drinks without even looking when reaching for toppers or to place bottles back on the shelf. He was fluid, and Kaeya knew that at this point Diluc could likely have made the drinks blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back.

“Your drinks,” The older sighed. “Do try to behave yourself tonight. You already look dreadful, you don't need a hangover on top of it.”

It was more of a backhanded comment, but Kaeya couldn’t help but swell under the attention. Their dynamic had shifted after months of working together to share intel back and forth, finally giving each other a chance to have a better understanding. That didn't mean the jabs went away, but at moments like this Kaeya could see that his brother did care for him, this was just his way of telling him to take care of himself. It made his chest do flips and he couldn't stop from beaming at the other as he grabbed the two drinks and took off back to his seat with a quiet and probably too happy “Thank you! I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He was so fast to retreat that he missed the look of pure confusion that crossed Diluc’s face, eyes following until Kayea rounded the corner, breaking the line of sight. Kaeya sat down but still wasn’t able to get the smile off his face no matter how hard he tried, something which Lisa was quick to notice and tease on.

“Well what’s gotten you so smiley today, someone come over to chat you up that you’re smitten for while I was away?”

Kaeya made a face, alcohol beginning to settle in his system helping to distract from any thoughts of how his behavior differed. Lisa laughed loudly, a hand falling on her chest as she giggled. “Well, my mistake then. Go on Frostbite, what’s gotten you so giddy all of the sudden?”

“‘S Nothing,” He said, hoping that the dim light of the tavern would hide the blush that crept up his cheeks. Lisa and her nicknames . They’d be the death of him, though Frostbite was a new one. “Just had a nice chat while you were gone and was thinking of that.”

“Mhm?” She hummed softly, eyes twinkling in the low candlelight. “And who did that happen to be with then? I think I’ll need to talk to them too, learn their secrets on how to get you to smile so sweetly. Oh- and the blushing too! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen our lovely Calvary Captain so riled before.”

In the most mature response he could manage, Kaeya stuck his tongue out before huffing and pouting into his drink. “Well, if you're going to talk to me like that I won’t be saying another word.”

“Aweee, But Kaeya~”

“Nope! Not another word.”

Lisa giggled some more, moving from her side of the table to slide next to Kaeya and pull him into a side hug. It wasn’t unexpected, she always tended to be more physically affectionate when tipsy. “But you’re so cute Cutie! I’ve just got to know who can make my friend smile so nice. Perhaps it was something from this morning, you were awfully happy before we even had left Headquarters too,” She thought out loud, debating the cause right in front of him. Kaeya only grew more and more flustered as she listed off how obviously his behavior had differed, He thought he had been subtle!

Having enough of the teases, and with his face burning bright red, he covered his mouth with one hand and leaned to try to see around the wall. He had to make sure Diluc wouldn’t be able to hear of course first. He couldn't bring himself to tell her about the fuzzy feeling that had been plaguing his mind all day, but explaining how he had talked to Diluc and it had gone well would have to be enough to satisfy the Mages curiosity.

“I just didn’t realize Diluc was working the bar tonight, our relationship has grown a bit less tense recently and- well. It was nice to see him and not be snapped at,” he said. Sure, even that wasn’t exactly true but it was enough for Lisa to give him a soft look, almost as if she could start crying at any moment, and pull him into another, more firm, hug. Kaeya might have been embarrassed at the display if it wasn’t something that occurred at least once every time the two drank together.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so happy for both of you!” Lisa gushed on and on, rambling about how she loved to see his relationship getting better with his brother. Though she hadn’t known Kaeya well before Diluc had left, she’d known of him from how Diluc would proudly and teasingly share stories of his little brother to anyone who would listen.

With how hot his face felt Kaeya was surprised his heart could keep enough blood circulating. Diluc had talked about him to other knights? That alone made his heart sputter, so he excused the way he leaned heavier against Lisa on the little he had had to drink, though even he knew it was nowhere near enough to explain the behavior. It made him feel warm and soft on the inside, and his brain staticy and like mush. He hardly even recognizes his voice at first when asking Lisa for stories of Diluc’s knight days. It was soft and quiet, so very unlike his persona.

It was childish.

Lisa fell into the few stories she had, sliding in jokes and sweet comments as they both sipped on their drinks slowly. She released him from the hug, but even so, Kaeya found himself scooting his chair to be close anyway, his head falling on her shoulder while listened, and her hand absentmindedly finding its way into his hair, unknotting pieces as she spoke.

He wasn’t surprised to have drifted off to sleep at some point, Lisa slowly shaking him awake when she noticed. “Come on, let’s get you home. Okay, sweetheart?”

Rubbing his eye Kaeya didn’t have it in him to fight, mumbling something indecipherable as she gathered their things. Lisa had both of them moving before Kaeya was entirely sure he was awake, looping his arm around her own and practically pulling him to the bar so she could pay their bill.

He heard the conversation between her and Diluc, but was struggling to process the words through the sleep-addled fog in his brain. They turned to leave and Kaeya waved to his big brother, mumbling a quiet “Night ‘Luc,” as they shuffled past other patrons to the door.

He was glad Lisa was walking him home, because one moment they were leaving the bar and the next time he remembered opening his eyes Kaeya was just a few houses down from his apartment, Lisa speaking to him softly in a way that was playing with his heart.

There was a soft whine, and the ice wielder only had a few seconds to be shocked as he realized it had come from himself before Lisa was shushing him. “I know Snowflake, nearly there. I just need your keys then we can get you settled in bed, okay?”

They paused in front of his door, Lisa looking at him expectantly. “Your keys, Kaeya?”

Oh. Right.

Clumsily Kaeya turned to where he kept his pouch, looking to Lisa in confusion when it wasn’t tied to the loop of his belt. He blinked at her slowly until she pieced the mystery together herself. She held out the bag with a giggle, covering her smile with one hand. “I've got your bag right here Cutie, here you go.”

Finally, Kaeya reached into the bag, feeling around the various supplies until he found the small piece of metal. Shakily he held the key up to the lock, fumbling to get it to go in properly. Lisa softly steadied his hand, praising and telling him he had done a good job in a voice that made another whine build in his throat, though given her giggles as she brought him inside maybe it had been real after all.

The two scoot through the doorway, Lisa quickly bringing him to his room and telling him to get pajamas on while she heads off to do something else. He could hear her fumbling around his kitchen while he stood in his room alone, finally beginning to feel more awake though the fuzz clouding his head still made it hard to think too much. Pajamas sounded like a very good place to start though.

Carefully and painstakingly Kaeya worked to loosen the straps of his corset. Normally he would be extra careful to keep the strings near, but tonight he just wants it off as soon as he can get it, wiggling it down his hips the moment it's loose enough to slide off. The rest of changing is much easier, and he relishes in how soft his indoor clothes feel. It was just old shirts and sleep pants, but to Kaeya there couldn’t have been anything better in the moment.

It was tempting to fall into his bed right then and there, but he remembered Lisa had left him to change before wandering down to the kitchen. Curious as to what she had gotten up to, Kaeya left his room to go look for the other. She was still in the kitchen, a glass of water for herself, and one on the countertop untouched.

Sleepily, he wandered closer. He wanted to ask her what she was doing, but the thought of talking felt like some feat of grandeur, so instead he settled for tilting his head to one side.

They don’t talk about it. Instead, she ruffles his hair and picks up the untouched glass of water and they walk back to his room together. She sets the cup on the side table next to his bed and pulls his blankets back for him to lie down, which he happily does.

The blankets are pulled around him loosely, and he’s quick to hide his face in his pillow at just how tiny the action of being tucked in makes him feel.

“Is there anything I can get for you Frostbite?” She asks, but Kaeya isn’t sure what she means. Instead of pushing the matter when he doesn’t reply, Lisa smiles softly, gentle hands brushing his hair behind his ear, and wishes him a good night’s rest.

Kaeya wants to do the same, but his words come out as more of a mumble than anything else. He’s falling back asleep so fast he can almost convince himself that the lips pressing against his forehead and how the blankets tuck tighter around him must be a dream.

#genshin impact #kaeya alberich #little!kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #cg!diluc #jean gunnhildr #lisa minci #ragbros #reconciliation #part 1/2 #age regression fic #age regression #agere #genshin agere

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