#Cat Spray Not Urine
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Just had the worst litter box cleaning experience of my life, but by the grace of God and the wonderful scientists at Nature's Miracle, it didn't take as long as it could have. I wish I remembered what brand of litter that was, because I don't often leave product reviews, but it should be illegal to make a cat litter that bad. Had a thick layer of crystallized litter/urine caked onto the bottom of the litter box that WOULD NOT budge for anything and smelled to high heaven. I only bought it in the first place because I thought McGonagall was peeing outside of the litter box in protest of the new (and far superior) litter, so I'd started looking for a new go-to litter again (McGonagall just had a minor bacterial infection, and a week on antibiotics cleared it up straight away).
Thankfully I only bought one bad of the cursed stuff, because not only does it have BY FAR the worst clumping function I've ever seen, but it does basically nothing for odor control, and it's WHITE so the litter box looks extra gross when it's been used because you can see the yellow of the urine.
Even with the help of Nature's Miracle—the aptly named enzymatic foaming litter box cleaner that has made my life so much easier in many ways, and no one is paying me to say that—I still had to use the litter box scoop to scrape all that mess off the bottom. Usually all I have to do is wipe the box, MAYBE scrub just a little bit on really stubborn spots, but never have I ever had to clean a litter box like this before. It was also the first time I ever had to spray the box down again a second time after I'd already cleaned it out, because the residual smell still on it was just so foul.
A million stars to Nature's Miracle, and a big fat negative zero to whatever the hell that horrendous litter brand was. Negative zero isn't even a real number, THAT'S how bad it is.
#there have been times#before I knew about cat urine containing ammonia and about the dangers of chlorine gas#where I cleaned my litter boxes with bleach spray#obviously I survived that era of my life#without even minor poisoning#but if I had tried that on this mess it would've killed the whole house
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Daphne is going back to the rescue today. She’s going to be adoptable as a barn cat. I’ve tried so hard for three months and made so much progress but the spraying is a dealbreaker for an indoor cat. It is 100% behavioral spraying brought on by foreign presences visiting the house. She urinates the places they were, the couch, the dog bed, the chair. Pheromone defusers haven’t worked. Putting her away while company is there hasn’t worked. She cannot be handled to be medicated. She hates to be handled at all. She’s still a biter, something I hoped would be resolved when she got a sibling but I have put adopting the other cat on pause because of her territorial pissing.
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Month 19 - Leaffall
Sagetooth gasped sharply and lurched upright as a cold touch to her forehead pulled her up from a thick, inky blackness. She looked around at the bed of hastily gathered wildflowers and the cats clustered nearby and wondered aloud, “How long have I been out?”
None of the cats even acknowledged her. Close by, Branchbark and Ospreymask loafed side by side, completely unaware she had spoken. Ospreymask leaned weakly on Branchbark, a patchwork of cobwebs plastered over her dark pelt and Branchbark’s eyes were raw and red. More cats sat nearby, all of them somber and quiet in the pre-dawn light. They looked miserable and something foreboding stirred inside Sagetooth at the sight.
“About an hour, I think,” said a familiar voice. Sagetooth turned her head to see Poppyblaze standing nearby. At her feet lay Lakepaw, stiff and cold and decorated with morning glory and goldenrod flowers.
“Oh,” Sagetooth said simply.
“Yeah,” Poppyblaze grimaced. “I’m sorry old friend. I wasn’t expecting to come for you for a while.”
Sagetooth’s gaze drifted down to the apprentice laying beside her own body, over which she now stood. “She died to protect me,” she said. “Poor kit.”
“She gave quite the fight for her age,” hummed Poppyblaze. “Are you alright if I wake her now? We really should be going.”
“Of course,” Sagetooth said, then inhaled sharply with memory. “Wait, I have to check on something!” She quickly hopped over the flowers woven around her feet and headed for the healers’ den at a brisk pace.
“Don’t go far!” Poppyblaze hissed worriedly. “It’s not safe!” Sagetooth twitched an ear dismissively and continued into the den. There was nothing that would hurt her here and she had important things to do.
As she stepped into the den, the blood that covered the floor made her pause. Even though every scent felt like it was miles away, she could pick up on the pungent odor of blood and urine -- and not just the expected amount of urine that came with the dead. Stepping further in, she found the herb stores in disaster, every herb tossed to the floor, shredded, and sprayed by the rogues. She curled her lip in disgust.
“Honorless brutes,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head. Turning away from that mess, she marched purposefully around the corner to Oddstripe’s empty nest and sighed in relief when she saw the small lump underneath the back corner. The horsetail and juniper she had hidden there was safe. She had no doubt Oddstripe would find it eventually. There wouldn’t be another death like Nightfrosts.
Set at ease, she turned back and padded out into the clearing where Poppyblaze was standing with Lakepaw’s spirit in the middle of the circle of mourners. Poor Lakepaw was softly weeping into the guide’s starry fur.
Sagetooth padded over and said, “There, there, Lakepaw. It’s going to be alright.”
Lakepaw looked up at the sound of her voice and sniffled. “I’m so sorry, Sagetooth,” she whined. “I promise I tried my best.”
“I know,” Sagetooth smiled. “You were a brave warrior.” Lakepaw sniffled again and rubbed a paw over her face, managing to return her smile, just a bit.
“Alright, now, let’s be quick,” said Poppyblaze. “This place isn’t safe.”
“How so?” Sagetooth scowled. “I’ve never heard of anything dangerous in StarClan.”
“We’re not in StarClan,” Poppyblaze explained, leading they over to the Stoneperch. “We’re in a place called the Parallel. It’s the place where the spirit and the physical meet, and right now, Razor’s ghost is prowling around it somewhere.”
“What?” Sagetooth couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How is that possible?! Only Clan cats move on to the afterlife.”
“Oh, Sage,” Poppyblaze shook her head. “There’s so much you don’t know about the universe.” Sagetooth bristled indignantly. If there was knowledge out there, why hadn’t StarClan shared it with her? Why hadn’t Poppyblaze told her about it before?
With a flick of her tail, Poppyblaze sent a shower of stars into the sky, leading up in a series of platforms, and said, “This way! Let’s get climbing.”
“Wowzers,” breathed Lakepaw and Poppyblaze chuckled.
“I like you, kid,” she purred. “Now, come on.” She gave Lakepaw’s rump a nudge with her nose and the apprentice hopped up, easily leaping from platform to platform into the sky. Sagetooth hesitated, shifting her weight.
“You can’t make a slope of some kind?” she asked.
Poppyblaze laughed and said, “Just give me one jump, yeah?”
Sagetooth sighed, grumbling under her breath, and bunched her legs beneath her. It had been a long time since she’d properly jumped and she was not looking forward to it. Still, if Razor was loose somewhere around here, she’d be much better suited to jumping than fighting him. She leapt and was amazed to find herself easily and painlessly landing on the first platform. Her eyes sparkled in wonder and she glanced down at Poppyblaze who laughed again.
“See? You don’t have a body anymore so no more joint pain! Pretty cool, huh?”
“It’s very nice, yes,” Sagetooth purred to herself, stretching out each leg experimentally.
“Great, now let's go, go, go,” urged Poppyblaze, hopping up beside her. Sagetooth nodded and started ascending. She was buzzing giddily at the freedom in her movements, in the way she could coordinate her limbs and move them without the aching resistance she had grown used to for the last few years.
Over their heads, Lakepaw cried out, “Wowzers! Look at the world from up here!”
“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” grinned Poppyblaze. The higher they climbed, the more Sagetooth had to agree. The world was a stunning mess of mauves rustling in the breeze. A hint of orange had just started to peek over the eastern horizon and the contrast took Sagetooth’s breath away.
“Hey, what’s that?” Lakepaw asked.
“Hm?” Poppyblaze perked her ears. She and Sagetooth followed the apprentice’s gaze to the south. Standing in the grass, not too far from camp, several smudges of glowing red broke up the peaceful purple landscape.
“Oh, that’s not good,” Poppyblaze swallowed.
“Razor?” Sagetooth asked.
“Yeah, I think so. I’m going to check it out. I need you to stay here, okay?” She looked at both of them sternly and said, “Don’t go up without me and don’t try to go down under any circumstances, understood?”
“Yeah,” Lakepaw’s fur was standing on end as she nodded.
“Absolutely not,” Sagetooth huffed. “I’m coming with you.”
“Oh, Sage, my stubborn, stubborn friend,” Poppyblaze’s expression was some mixture of distress and admiration. “Now really isn’t the time for this.”
“If it isn’t safe for me to go along then you shouldn’t be going, you reckless fool,” Sagetooth stood her ground.
Poppyblaze sighed. “I guess that’s a fair point. Alright, fine. Stay here, Lakepaw, we’ll be back soon.”
“Okay,” Lakepaw’s voice was shaky. “Please be safe.”
“We will be,” Sagetooth assured her, then looked at Poppyblaze and gestured for her to lead the way. Poppyblaze took a careful step forward into the open air and when her paws moved away, there were starry platforms in their wake. Sagetooth fell into step behind her and they set out over the fields towards the red shapes.
As they drew closer, Sagetooth started to make out the silhouettes of cats. A tall grey tabby stood in the center of the group, flanked by a cream tabby she-cat, a black-furred tom with white paws, and a pair of blue and white cats with notches in their ears. All five of them had the same shimmery pelts as StarClan but the stars were red tinged or dull and grey.
“What are so many cats doing in the Parallel?” Poppyblaze whispered to herself, halting to observe them from a short distance behind and a tree’s length above.
“That big one, is Razor, yes?” Sagetooth asked in the same hushed tone. She’d never seen the rogue’s body, too busy with healing the wounded, but she had heard the stories. She could see the gaping wound in his throat dripping ichor as he hunched over in the grass. He looked like stories of Dark Forest ghosts but that didn’t make any sense to her.
“Mhm,” nodded Poppyblaze. “He destroyed Darkmoon and EarthClan’s guide and tried to destroy me.”
“What’s he doing?” asked Sagetooth. Both she and Poppyblaze squinted at Razor who was doing something with his paws over a space of fresh churned earth. He hooked his claws into something and pulled up dragging a new glowing red shape up from the dirt. In horror, Sagetooth watched the face of a cat burst from the ground, choking and gasping for air as Razor hoisted his spirit up by the scruff. The cat scrambled to his feet and stared around, eyes wide, chest heaving, and Razor smiled with a deep rumbling purr that Sagetooth could just barely hear.
“Welcome to the land of the not quite living, Harry, ” he said, slapping the new cat on the back.
“Oh, no,” Poppyblaze swallowed. “This is bad. This is very bad. Where’s Bakari?”
“Who?” Sagetooth couldn’t help but ask.
“What’s going on? Where are we?” the newly dead cat panted. “Who are they?” Sagetooth’s stomach dropped as he looked directly up at her and Poppyblaze. Razor cocked his head and turned in their direction. When he saw them, a terrible smile spread across his face, made all the more gruesome by the ichor seeping between his teeth.
“Oh, look,” he purred and the whole group of cats turned to look at them, “It’s my little friend. I never did catch your name, sweetheart.”
Poppyblaze bristled and twitched her tail against Sagetooth’s flank. “We’re leaving,” she whispered. “Now.” Sagetooth didn’t need any further prompting, quickly, she twisted on the starry platforms and started bounding back to where they had left Lakepaw waiting. Poppyblaze was close on her tail.
“Come now, don’t be like that!” Razor jeered after them and a couple of the other cats laughed. “Come on down so we can get friendly!”
“This is very bad,” Poppyblaze hissed under her breath. “Worse than I thought.”
“How so?” Sagetooth tilted her ears backward in curiosity.
“How to explain…” Poppyblaze hummed thoughtfully. “So, when a creature dies, their soul is trapped inside their body. If left there, it rots and disappears, just like the rest of them, but if someone disconnects them from their body, they can live for effectively eternity, given the right conditions.”
“Right, as long as they’re remembered, they resist fading away,” Sagetooth nodded.
“Not exactly,” Poppyblaze said, “but that’s not really important right now.” Sagetooth twitched an ear in irritation, wishing Poppyblaze would stop saying confusing and ambiguous new things, but held her tongue so the guide could continue. “Separating a soul from a body is a tricky process, one that guides have been teaching each other for countless millennia. It looks like, somehow, Razor has figured out how to do it, or how to brute force it at least.”
“Alright,” Sagetooth frowned, trying to put the pieces together. “So now, instead of wasting away, the kittypets’ spirits will be stuck on the Parallel with Razor where they can harass spirits waiting to go to StarClan?”
“It’s more complicated than that,” Poppyblaze said to Sagetooth’s frustration. “Usually, Bakari comes and collects the non-Clan cats in this area, but for some reason, he hasn’t been doing that.”
“Who is this Bakari you keep talking about?” Sagetooth grumbled.
“The guide for feline souls,” Poppyblaze’s tail began to twitch, “exempting Clan cats who have their own guides.”
“But that’s not-” Sagetooth grit her teeth. “That doesn’t make any sense! Only Clan cats persist after death. That’s how it’s always been!”
“Sorry, Sage, but that’s just not true,” Poppyblaze shook her head. “Everything has its own guide -- cats, dogs, mice, birds, beetles, twolegs. Everything! There’s even a guide who collects the plants! He’s a big ol’ thing with a prehensile nose and the shaggiest fur you’ve ever seen. Name’s Frost. Lovely guy, excellent conversationalist.”
“Poppyblaze!” Sagetooth snapped, lashing her tail. They were almost back to Lakepaw now and she turned around to glare at the old spirit. “Enough about the plants! I still don’t understand what’s going on!”
“It’s a lot to understand,” said Poppyblaze sympathetically, “but I’ll try to summarize.” She shifted her posture, collecting her thoughts, and said, “Alright, so Bakari usually collects the spirits of cats from outside the Clan. Every so often, a creature with a particularly strong will can separate themself on their own -- that’s how the first guides were created and it's what I assumed Razor had done. When I ran into him the first time, he said that he’d already destroyed two other cats and since EarthClan’s guide had never returned from gathering Darkmoon, I assumed they were the cats he’d destroyed.
“But this is so much worse. I think he destroyed Bakari when he tried to take Razor to the next life. He’s obsessed with getting back to his body like Goldenstar did and said he was going to keep killing cats until someone showed him how.”
“Oh,” Sagetooth swallowed. “That’s definitely not good.”
“And that’s not all,” continued Poppyblaze. “If he’s only killed two cats and they were Bakari and Chestnutsprout, then Darkmoon is missing. He could be here on the parallel or he might be lost in the Clouds! Who knows!”
“Then we need to get back to StarClan,” Sagetooth said. “They have to know.”
“Agreed,” Poppyblaze chewed her lip. “Come on, let’s grab Lakepaw and get moving.” They padded quickly over the remaining distance to where Lakepaw was waiting dutifully for them.
“Is everything okay?” she called as they approached.
“Everything’s fine, dear,” said Sagetooth.
“Not really,” smiled Poppyblaze, “but we’re all safe for now. Let’s keep climbing, okay?”
“Okay,” nodded Lakepaw and they all started up the platforms again.
Sagetooth glared at Poppyblaze. “You didn’t have to worry the kit like that.”
“She deserves to hear the truth,” Poppyblaze shrugged. “Or would you prefer I hide things from her like StarClan hid things from you?” Sagetooth’s anger fizzled immediately.
“I suppose I’d rather not lie to her,” she sighed. After a moment she asked, “Why did StarClan keep the nature of things a secret? What harm is there in knowing other creatures have spirits that linger just like we do?” She trusted that there was some explanation, that StarClan had made the choice with good reason, but she couldn’t think of what it could be.
“A lot of them don’t know,” Poppyblaze admitted, “not any more at least. And the cats who do, well, you’d have to ask them, but I suspect they thought it would keep the Clans in line.”
“In line?” Sagetooth sputtered. “What are you talking about?”
“Well,” Poppyblaze hummed, “if you think that leaving the Clan means you lose your chance at the afterlife, you’re a lot more inclined to stay in the Clan, aren’t you?”
Sagetooth scowled. “I suppose.” This was very troubling. Wasn’t that for the best though? Leaving the Clan was tantamount to death. The poor young cats who were seduced by the lives of kittypets or rogue lovers were abandoning their homes, their traditions, their families. But still, even if their spirits existed after death, they didn’t get to hunt in StarClan’s forests so why lie? Wasn’t the outcome the same either way? The whole situation didn’t sit right with her at all.
“Alright,” Poppyblaze said, as they neared the lower reaches of cloud cover. “We’re about to head into the Clouds, alright? It’s pretty maze-like in there and easy to get lost so make sure you stay where you can see me and let me know if you need to stop or slow down, got it?”
“Yes ma’am,” Lakepaw said, eyes wide with awe.
“Fine,” Sagetooth huffed, still deep in thought. This wasn’t what she had imagined her voyage to StarClan would be like. Still, she resolved to make the most of it and so set her shoulders and raised her head proudly. There would be time to get to the bottom of things and she was going to, that much was certain.
#clangenrising#clan gen#clangen#warriors#warrior cats#warrior cats oc#warriors oc#clangen oc#clan gen oc#Sagetooth#Lakepaw#Poppyblaze#Branchbark#Ospreymask#Razor#Harry#Tinkerbell#StarClan guide#StarClan#tw graphic injury#Darkmoon#Chestnutsprout#Bakari
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||COUNTDOWN || SEASON 4 EPISODE 09 || THE BIRDS & THE BEES ||
#83daysofoutlander☆
The light outside was dazzling after the taproom’s gloom. Brianna blinked, eyes tearing at the shafts of sun that stabbed through the shifting greens of a screen of maples. Then a movement caught her eye, below the flickering leaves. He stood in the shade of the maples, half turned away from her, head bent in absorption. A tall man, long-legged, lean and graceful, with his shoulders broad under a white shirt. He wore a faded kilt in pale greens and browns, casually rucked up in front as he urinated against a tree. He finished and, letting the kilt fall, turned toward the post house. He saw her then, standing there staring at him, and tensed slightly, hands half curling. Then he saw past her men’s clothes, and the look of wary suspicion changed at once to surprise as he realized that she was a woman. There was no doubt in her mind, from the first glimpse. She was at once surprised and not surprised at all; he was not quite what she had imagined—he seemed smaller, only man-sized—but his face had the lines of her own; the long, straight nose and stubborn jaw, and the slanted cat-eyes, set in a frame of solid bone. He moved toward her out of the maples’ shadow, and the sun struck his hair with a spray of copper sparks. Half consciously she raised a hand and pushed a strand of hair back from her face, seeing from the corner of her eye the matching gleam of thick red-gold. “What d’ye want here, lassie?” he asked. Sharp, but not unkind. His voice was deeper than she had imagined; the Highland burr slight but distinct. “You,” she blurted. Her heart seemed to have wedged itself in her throat; she had trouble forcing any words past it. He was close enough that she caught the faint whiff of his sweat and the fresh smell of sawn wood; there was a golden scatter of sawdust caught in the rolled sleeves of his linen shirt. His eyes narrowed with amusement as he looked her up and down, taking in her costume. One reddish eyebrow rose, and he shook his head. “Sorry, lass,” he said, with a half-smile. “I’m a marrit man.” He made to pass by, and she made a small incoherent sound, putting out a hand to stop him, but not quite daring to touch his sleeve. He stopped and looked at her more closely. “No, I meant it; I’ve a wife at home, and home’s not far,” he said, evidently wishing to be courteous. “But—” He stopped, close enough now to take in the grubbiness of her clothes, the hole in the sleeve of her coat and the tattered ends of her stock.
“Och,” he said in a different tone, and reached for the small leather purse he wore tied at his waist. “Will ye be starved, then, lass? I’ve money, if you must eat.” She could scarcely breathe. His eyes were dark blue, soft with kindness. Her eyes fixed on the open collar of his shirt, where the curly hairs showed, bleached gold against his sunburnt skin. “Are you—you’re Jamie Fraser, aren’t you?” He glanced sharply at her face. “I am,” he said. The wariness had returned to his face; his eyes narrowed against the sun. He glanced quickly behind him, toward the tavern, but nothing stirred in the open doorway. He took a step closer to her. “Who asks?” he said softly. “Have you a message for me, lass?” She felt an absurd desire to laugh welling up in her throat. Did she have a message?
“My name is Brianna,” she said.
He frowned, uncertain, and something flickered in his eyes. He knew it! He’d heard the name and it meant something to him. She swallowed hard, feeling her cheeks blaze as though they’d been seared by a candle flame.
“I’m your daughter,” she said, her voice sounding choked to her own ears.
“Brianna.” He stood stock-still, not changing expression in the slightest. He had heard her, though; he went pale, and then a deep, painful red washed up his throat and into his face, sudden as a brushfire, matching her own vivid color. She felt a deep flash of joy at the sight, a rush through her midsection that echoed that blaze of blood, recognition of their fair-skinned kinship. Did it trouble him to blush so strongly? she wondered suddenly. Had he schooled his face to immobility, as she had learned to do, to mask that telltale surge? Her own face felt stiff, but she gave him a tentative smile. He blinked, and his eyes moved at last from her face, slowly taking in her appearance, and—with what seemed to her a new and horrified awareness—her height. “My God,” he croaked. “You’re huge.” Her own blush had subsided, but now came back with a vengeance. “And whose fault is that, do you think?” she snapped. She drew herself up straight and squared her shoulders, glaring. So close, at her full height, she could look him right in the eye, and did. He jerked back, and his face did change then, mask shattering in surprise. Without it, he looked younger; underneath were shock, surprise, and a dawning expression of half-painful eagerness. “Och, no, lassie!” he exclaimed. “I didna mean it that way, at all! It’s only—” He broke off, staring at her in fascination. His hand lifted, as though despite himself, and traced the air, outlining her cheek, her jaw and neck and shoulder, afraid to touch her directly. “It’s true?” he whispered. “It is you, Brianna?” He spoke her name with a queer accent—Breeanah—and she shivered at the sound. “It’s me,” she said, a little huskily. She made another attempt at a smile. “Can’t you tell?” His mouth was wide and full-lipped, but not like hers; wider, a bolder shape, that seemed to hide a smile in the corners of it, even in repose. It was twitching now, not certain what to do. “Aye,” he said. “Aye, I can.”
He did touch her then, his fingers drawing lightly down her face, brushing back the waves of ruddy hair from temple and ear, tracing the delicate line of her jaw. She shivered again, though his touch was noticeably warm; she could feel the heat of his palm against her cheek.
“I hadna thought of you as grown,” he said, letting his hand fall reluctantly away. “I saw the pictures, but still—I had ye in my mind somehow as a wee bairn always—as my babe. I never expected …”
His voice trailed off as he stared at her, the eyes like her own, deep blue and thick-lashed, wide in fascination. “Pictures,” she said, feeling breathless with happiness. “You’ve seen pictures of me? Mama found you, didn’t she? When you said you had a wife at home—”
“Claire,” he interrupted. The wide mouth had made its decision; it split into a smile that lit his eyes like the sun in the dancing tree leaves. He grabbed her arms, tight enough to startle her. “You’ll not have seen her, then? Christ, she’ll be mad wi’ joy!” The thought of her mother was overwhelming. Her face cracked, and the tears she had been holding back for days spilled down her cheeks in a flood of relief, half choking her as she laughed and cried together.
“Here, lassie, dinna weep!” he exclaimed in alarm. He let go of her arm and snatched a large, crumpled handkerchief from his sleeve. He patted tentatively at her cheeks, looking worried. “Dinna weep, a leannan, dinna be troubled,” he murmured. “It’s all right, m�� annsachd; it’s all right.”
“I’m all right; everything’s all right. I’m just—happy,” she said. She took the handkerchief, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “What does that mean—a leannan? And the other thing you said?”
“You’ll not have the Gaelic, then?” he asked, and shook his head. “No, of course she wouldna have been taught,” he murmured, as though to himself. “I’ll learn,” she said firmly, giving her nose a last wipe.
“A leannan?” A slight smile reappeared on his face as he looked at her. “It means ‘darling,’ ” he said softly. “M’ annsachd—my blessing.”
41 JOURNEY’S END
#the frasers#outlander#outlander starz#outlander series#outlanderedit#jamie fraser#outlander fanart#samheughan#sophie skelton#brianna fraser#jamie & bree#outlander books#outlander book#outlander season 4#outlander 4x09
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God, I'd love to rape away that pretty, cute facade of yours. We can talk about cats and books all you want but you know I won't give a shit about that really.
No, what I want is your body.
I'm going to rape every fucking thought out of your head until you're nothing but a nasty, drooling little set of fuckholes. I'm going to call you kitten and collar you but your only thought will be of my cock stretching open your tiny asshole.
I'll use your fucking mouth to clean off my heavy balls, jerking my cock off while I spit heavy fucking drops of saliva onto your pretty, fuckdoll face. God, just thinking about what an obscene sight that'd be makes my cock throb. You'd just be a fucking toy for me at that point, you know? A set of holes designed for my pleasure.
And when I'm done spraying your pathetic face with my thick, creamy cum, I'll fucking slap you across the face, sending you to the floor. I'm going to fish your tongue out of your mouth and press it against the tip of my cock. Just so you can taste every fucking drop when I use your mouth like a urinal.
Would I even need to touch your cunt to make you cum?
- I'm sure you can guess who I am ;)
first of all, u need to take responsibility for the mess you've made in my panties now.
secondly, IM SENDING U MY ADDRESS YOU BETTER BE THERE IN THE MORNING... please be there 🥺 and darling, you never need to touch my cunt to make me cum, your words are more than enough.
mhm, so happy to have my own special writing from you, but you really shouldn't be anonymous; afterall I wasn't hiding myself in your asks, was i?
#sjsksk guys i made him hard#this is also not an invitation to deny me touch#words are hot#but touch is too#SJSKSJ HE WROTE IT FOR ME#bd/sm kink#r@pe k!nk#piss kink#humiliation kink#bd/sm community#bd/sm blog#asks
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Please Help A Mostly Queer Homeless Family Out This Pride Month?
So we have gotten our overdrafts covered! All without overdraft fees (double yay)! So that's one less thing to worry about. I have a loan repayment coming out again tomorrow, now that I have money in my account, and I'm waiting on the other loan to go through since the website says there's a payment pending.
But we need help with three things still:
1 - Gas & laundry money. We have to go to Fallbrook again this week (probably on the 8th, since my mom and I will have mail to pick up that day) to pull all the laundry out of our upstairs storage unit, wash it, and put it back in, along with spraying the front of it with Lysol air freshener and butting in a charcoal deodorizer, because it smells like cat urine and we'll get kicked out if we don't take care of it soon. We don't have the money of strength to move two units out, so we're going to do what we can to minimize the odor. But I need $40 for gas (it's cheapest at the 7-11 in Bonsall, since I can save 11 cents a gallon) and $20 for laundry to cover an extra wash and a dry that will get it all dry.
2 - A hotel room for my mom's 50th high school reunion/a manicure for my mother. I know it seems frivolous, but my mom graduated from a high school in the area and this is the first reunion after one of the big celebratory people in her class has died, plus it's the 50th, which is a pretty big milestone. We need a hotel for three days to keep the cats out of the car and to have a place to shower/get ready/leave the kidlet for the actual reunion (there's also an all-class picnic which is during the day that the kidlet is invited to, but we don't want the cats in the sun all day). We need it for the 24th through the 26th. We want to try and stay at the Motel 6 on Pio Pico Drive, as the room is all tile and the TV accommodates my son's X-Box, which will keep him entertained while we're gone. I'd also like to get my mom a manicure because her nails keep breaking from still being brittle after chemo, and she deserves a treat. We're looking at $400 for all of this.
3 - Anything off our Amazon wish list. We just ordered new medicine storage bags for me and my mom, as ours have been ruined by the cats/time, and we're going to add food to the list as we have storage space in the car for it, but I'm getting signs I'm going to start my menstrual cycle soon, and I could really use the portable heating pad. And anything else already on the list would be a huge help. The list is here.
#signal boost#direct action#mutual aid#please reblog#please help#please share#please donate#urgent#crowdfunding#fundraising#amazon wishlist
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Remus: Virgil's movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
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plagued by memories tonight so I’m going to spit them up and hopefully that brings me relief.
I was an EMT for about 5 years and I think these things are tattooed on my bones. trigger warning under the cut for…upsetting healthcare-related experiences? and the f-slur
I remember bringing a wheelchair-bound elderly man up to his shoebox apartment in the inner city, 12 floors up a derelict building in a tiny, shaky elevator, and being hit with the stink of smoke as soon as I opened the door - cigarette butts stubbed out on every surface, ashtrays overflowing, carpet that started out as brown matted down to black. I offered to help him into bed but he refused. he took off his vietnam veteran baseball cap and picked up a stale pack of cigarettes and told me to go
I remember the man who had been attacked by his neighbors’ dogs, two Rottweilers. his legs were mangled; huge scoops of flesh just gone. he was kind. he asked me how my day was going.
I remember the dead woman in the ER who I was told to bag up and bring down to the morgue. she looked familiar. I remember putting a tag on her thumb but I don’t remember her name. I remember making small talk with the ER tech who was helping me on the elevator ride down to the basement. that sounds like the start of a joke, doesn’t it? a girl, a man, and a dead body get in an elevator. if you think of a punchline let me know
I remember the frequent-flyer patient with a chronic mystery skin infection that caused his legs to leak so much fluid that we had to wrap them in plastic bags or else the gurney would get flooded and it would soak into his pants and spill over the edge onto the floor of the ambulance. the first time I got his call I thought we’d been sent to a haunted house. it was an old victorian in downtown, made of rotting wood and peeling paint. The knob in the front door had been ripped out so I bent down and looked through. There was no answer when I knocked so I yelled ‘hello’ through the hole until eventually someone came down the stairs and silently let us in. Our patient’s apartment was one room, it was dark, it smelled, the bed was as dirty as the floor, beer cans and cigarettes everywhere. There was a tiny, square, box TV playing static. There were spoiled diapers kicked under his desk. He lived alone and apparently had no family. I and every EMT who had ever been sent there reported the situation to social services but nothing was ever done.
there was the woman coming down from a meth binge who kept asking me if I was going to eat her brains. we dropped her off at a psych facility and a few days later I was back with another patient. I saw her again, sober now. when she saw me she averted her eyes and retreated into her room
there was another woman in the middle of a severe psychotic episode who, within 5 minutes of meeting me, looked me dead in the eye and said, “You’re a fat fucking faggot and I want you to die.” She had pissed on all her personal belongings and the back of the ambulance stank so bad of stale human urine that I had to kick the fan on and spray air freshener into my face mask. She spent most of the call insulting and trying to spit on me and my partner. My partner snapped at her but I just ate it. Later, when we were outside cleaning the gurney and waiting for the next call, a stray cat slipped out from behind a nearby dumpster and curled around my boots. he booped my knuckles and mewled when I pet him and the night was good again
I remember being in and out of psych facilities so often and feeling like a fucking imposter because I was burning out, depressed out of my mind and regularly experiencing suicidal ideation. I wondered when I would call 911 and end up there myself. I wondered if it would be my coworkers who would pick me up. the thought of it scared me enough that I never made the call, even when I should have. I started getting high instead
I remember the middle-aged woman having a panic attack. that was at my on-location job, at my city’s arena, where all the concerts and games were held. it was a slow night and too many of us responded. this woman was hyperventilating, the bass from the concert was everywhere, and a crowd of strangers was closing in on her. I got there first, so by default it became my call, which always made me nervous. I sat her down, I kneeled in front of her, she grabbed my hands reflexively and I let her grip on. I coached her breathing. I waved my coworkers back to give her space. I convinced her that everyone there just wanted to help her and that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. it worked. I was soothing, and sure, and strong. it worked.
when it was over she held my shoulder and thanked me. patients don’t usually thank us. when it was over I went to the bathroom and cried. I handled it so well because I had been talking my mom down from her panic attacks for years.
I talked about that call in group therapy the week after. I thought I was going to be proud, that it would be a positive share, but I cried again.
when people ask about what it's like being an EMT, I don’t think they want to hear any of this, they only want the cool stories. they want to hear about the lights and the sirens and to thank you for your service but please, please, don’t. There’s a quote by Anaïs Nin: “I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.”
#just heads up#this is an unedited stream of consciousness journal entry that you can feel free to scroll past#kisha talks
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Help save the adorable Miss Margles
A friend of mine from High School is trying to save his new senior kitties life, but he doesn't have the funds. I thought I'd try sharing this here because Tumblr is the only place I have even a little bit of reach.
Donations and/or reblogs would be greatly appreciated
"Hello! My name is Jay and I recently adopted Margles back in the beginning of July. This senior girlie was found wandering around downtown Tacoma in really horrible condition. When she was found, she was severely underweight, dehydrated, and seemed to be ill - it was very clear that someone had dumped her, or maybe everything went wrong and she ended up alone long enough to deteriorate on the street. My homie MJ fostered her for a while until I was able to adopt her!
Despite her condition, she is one of the most affectionate and trusting cats I've met in a long time, and after bringing her home she loved hopping into bed with me in the morning and licking my face to wake me up to feed her. She also absolutely loves getting brushed/groomed. She has quickly become good buddies with Tommy as well (our other senior kitty) who had been showing signs of wanting a companion before we got her.
This past month has been a lot of back and forth to the emergency vet clinic and our primary vet clinic as we've tried to figure out what's going on with her. She has been having bloody vaginal discharge, been unable to get comfortable, urinating inappropriately, vomiting daily, has had a steadily declining appetite, and could never seem to get enough water. We treated her for a UTI, however her symptoms returned as soon as her course of antibiotics finished.
However, we finally were able to figure out what's going on with her!! She has a severe urinary tract infection with two different types of bacteria that require a longer course of special antibiotics. Miss Margles was also diagnosed with kidney disease, pancreatitis, low potassium, and low phosphate. She is also severely underweight at 4.5lbs (but has been steadily gaining weight since coming to us). Thankfully, all of these conditions are easily manageable through treatment, medication, and supplements, and Meegles should be able to recover and live out her golden years in comfort with Tommy after we get her balanced out.
Although, as someone who is currently working paycheck to paycheck at minimum wage, the bills are quickly becoming more than I can handle.
With appointments averaging around $650, recurring medications about half of that, starting a specialized kidney diet, and the costs of supplements + daily fluid therapy (and of course urine + vomit cleaning spray...) I've reached a point where I've decided to seek out financial support in mutual aid. I am very hopeful that she will make a recovery from her current condition, but I fear that if these bills become too much I will have to try to find her a new home, which is already hard enough for senior kitties, let alone a high medical needs senior cat. I don't want to have to put her through a whole life transition again; especially since I have veterinary assistant experience and work in the animal care field, and am confident with giving her specialized care in my daily routine.
I am currently giving her 4 medications a day + 2 supplements, and subcutaneous fluid therapy once or twice daily. She is also getting monthly Solensia injections for her severe arthritis due to having very low muscle/fat content. Due to the sedative effects of some of these medications, Margles is experiencing extreme muscle weakness and needs assistance getting to the litterbox in time, grooming herself after eating or peeing/pooping, and will only eat via spoon feeding for now. Its quickly become a labor of love, and I know that Margles would be better off remaining in my care as she rides out her golden years.
Any financial support for her medical needs to ensure that she gets to remain in my care would be greatly appreciated! Even like $5 goes a long way. The goal amount is based on what I've spent so far and am estimated to be spending on the next follow up appointment. I will return to working at a vet clinic soon (I am currently working with zoo animals) and should hopefully get some discounts for her lifelong fluid therapy, arthritis injections, kidney disease management, and senior wellness exams in the future, so this is just to help us through the next few visits. Times are rough for us all right now, if you aren't able to donate please boost if you can!
Thanks for taking the time to read ⬛ I will post updates as they come
- Jay"
#gofundme#donations#animal welfare#cat#cute#kittens#calico#tortie cat#lgbt#gay#queer#lesbian#bisexual#bi#trans#transgender
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HE PEED ON MY BED
My poor senior cat is grumpy because I keep nudging him while he's asleep to make sure he's alive
#i had to run to the store for that cat urine enzyme stuff#i didn't bother spraying i just poured a bunch onto the mattress#i guess I've been meaning to wash my pillows anyway...
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The Phoenix and the Crow
part sixteen
pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader
genre: netural
el's thoughts: the next part!! yayyy please let me know your favorite parts or what you are hoping to see next!!
The sick feeling in Y/N’s stomach had nothing to do with the rocking of the rowboat. She tried to breathe deeply, to focus on the lights of the Ketterdam harbor disappearing behind them and the steady splash of the oars in the water. Beside her, Kaz adjusted his mask and cloak, while Muzzen, one of the Dregs, rowed with a relentless and aggressive speed. Hellgate rested on one of Kerch’s tiny outlying islands, Terrenjel.
Fog lay low over the water, damp, and curling. It carried the smell of tar and machinery from the shipyards on Imperjum, and something else – the sweet stink of burning bodies from the Reaper’s Barge. The place where Ketterdam disposed of the dead who couldn’t afford to be buried in the cemeteries outside the city. ‘Disgusting.’ Y/N thought, drawing her cloak tighter around her. How could these people live with themselves? Not giving the dead the respect they deserved. Then again, it was Ketterdam… How many of these people truly deserved an honoring of their name?
Y/N shuffled away from the edge of the rowboat, accidentally brushing her arm against Kaz’s side. If her being this close to him bothered him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he spoke in a quiet whisper, “We’re almost there.”
The tightness in her chest dwindled at his words. She nodded just enough for him to notice her thanks.
~
When the boat’s hull scraped sand, two men rushed forward to haul them farther onto land. The other boats she’d seen were making ground in the same cove, being pulled ashore by more grunting men. Their features were vague through the gauze of her veil, but Y/N caught a glimpse of the tattoos that inked their forearms. A feral cat curled into a crown– the symbol of the Dime Lions.
“Money?” One of them had asked as the crows clambered out of the boat.
Kaz handed over a stack of kruge and once it was counted, the Dime Lion waved them on.
They all followed a row of torches up an uneven path to the leeward side of the prison. Y/N had seen the prison from afar before but looking up at it now… She understood why the mention of the jail instilled such a strong fear in people. She tilted her head back to gaze at the high black towers of the fortress named Hellgate.
A door had been propped open, and another member of the opposing gang led Y/N and the others inside. They entered a dark, surprisingly clean kitchen, its walls lined with huge vats that looked better suited to laundry than cooking. A strong aroma of vinegar and sage filled her nose. ‘Like a mercher’s kitchen.’ She’d thought to herself. The Kerch believed that work was akin to prayer. Maybe the merchant wives came here to scrub the floors, walls, and windows to honor Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce. Y/N resisted the urge to gag. They could scrub all they liked. Beneath the wholesome scent was the indelible stench of mildew, urine, and unwashed bodies. It might take a miracle from the Saints to dislodge it.
They all continued down a dark hallway, and she thought they would head up into the cells, but instead, they passed through another door and onto a high stone walkway that connected the main prison to what looked like another tower.
“Where are we going?” Y/N whispered. Kaz didn’t answer. The wind picked up and lifted her veil and lashed at her cheeks with salt spray.
Nina let out a breathless gasp as she looked around the familiar surroundings. “I thought we were breaking him out. Brekker, you lying bastard.”
Kaz didn’t turn around to look at her, “We are breaking him out. But he was already scheduled. He survives tonight then he gets out.”
Y/N looked between the two, confused as to what was happening.
Nina gritted her teeth, “Hellshow.”
The slow cranking of metal against metal echoed in the arena over all the shouts and loud conversations from the crowds. The two grisha women walked closer to the metal cage, Nina grasped the thick bars between her hands tightly, as if willing the metal to bend at her will. They both watched as a tall man walked out from under the gate.
“Matthias.” Nina’s voice was barely heard over the cheering around them.
The two men in the ring stood there for a moment before the one with ‘cannibal’ written on his back lunged first. A strong punch to the Fjerdan’s jaw caused his head to snap to the side, and with no time to recover another blow was aimed at his stomach.
After taking a few more hits, resulting in the Heartrender flinching at every grunt, the Fjerdan finally snapped. He threw a jaw-snapping punch at the smaller man, spun around, and threw his elbow back landing on the man’s collarbone. The latter fell to the floor giving Matthias an opening to continue his attack. He picked up a leg and dragged the man on his back before crushing his leg in his grasp.
Y/N’s eyes widened at the memory and felt a sickening feeling creep up on her. Such a dishonorable way to keep your life. But then again, what choice did these people have?
The Dime Lion led them around the tunnel to the third archway, where a prison guard dressed in a blue-gray uniform was posted with a rifle slung across his back. “Four more for you.” The Dime Lion shouted over the roar of the crowd. Then he turned to Kaz. “If you need to leave, the guard will call for an escort. No one goes wandering off without a guide, understood?”
“Of course, of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.” Kaz said from behind his ridiculous mask.
“Enjoy.” The Dime Lion said with an ugly grin. The prison guard waved them through.
Y/N stepped under the arch and felt as if she’d fallen into another nightmare. They were on a jutting stone ledge, looking down into a shallow, crudely made amphitheater. The tower had been gutted to create an arena. Only the black walls of the old prison remained the roof long since fallen in or destroyed so that the night sky was visible high above, with dense clouds and free of stars.
It was a different view from when she came with Nina before. Now higher in the stands, the crowd’s shouting echoed and made her ears ring. Around her, masked and veiled men and women crowded onto the terraced ledges, stamping their feet as the action proceeded below. The blazing light from the torches on the walls was hardly bright enough to make out anyone’s face even with a strained effort, but it was bright enough below them to see the red and damp sand of the floor.
Y/N swayed on her feet when she saw a man standing in the caged arena while a desert lizard crawled out from under the heavy metal trap door. Her sight blurred the moment she noticed the man pick up his knife and quicker than she could whisper a prayer the crowd’s volume got louder only this time they were booing. Y/N turned to the man standing next to her. “Why are they complaining? Isn’t this what they came here for?”
“They wanted a fight,” said Kaz. “They were expecting him to last longer.”
“This is disgusting.”
Kaz shrugged, “The only disgusting thing about it is that I didn’t think of it first.”
“These men aren’t slaves, Kaz!” Y/N spoke harshly but kept her volume down. “They’re prisoners.”
“They’re murderers and rapists.”
“And thieves and con artists. Your people.” Nina spoke up from Kaz’s other side.
“Nina, sweet, they aren’t forced to fight. They line up for the chance. They earn better food, private cells, liquor, jurda, conjugals with girls from the West Stave.”
Muzzen, the man who accompanied the crows on the heist, cracked his knuckles. “Sounds better than we got at the Slat.”
The two grisha looked around the stands at all the men and women who came here to support such a violent show, all of them exchanging bets while walking up and down the aisles. The prisoners of Hellgate might line up to fight, but Pekka Rollins made the real money. At least he used to. News got out shortly after Pekka was thrown into the high-security prison where he was brutally beaten to death by a few of the other prisoners.
“Helvar doesn’t…” Y/N couldn’t get her eyes to focus on anything as she spoke and pulled herself out of her own thoughts. “Helvar doesn’t fight in the arena, does he? You bought his name off the list, didn’t you?”
A grim look passed over Kaz’s eyes as he looked down at the inferni. “We aren’t here for the ambience.”
“Are you aware that I could waggle my fingers and make you wet your trousers?” Nina was beyond furious at this point. Her hands clenched at her sides.
“Easy, heartrender. I like these trousers. And if you start messing with my vital organs, Matthias Helvar will never see sunshine again.”
Once the stomach-churning sound of the heavy metal gate being cranked open was heard the crowds went wild. Y/N looked over to see Nina staring down into the arena with a pale face. She had turned to look down and felt her heart drop to her stomach at the sight before her.
Matthias emerged from the mouth of the cave while the unmistakable growls of wolves could be heard from the other side.
The Fjerdan had to fight his most sacred animal.
#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker#six of crows#six of crows x reader#six of crows imagines#kaz brekker x y/n#kaz brekker x you#ellora.writes
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Idea: Stu getting that damn pheromone perfume for… obvious reasons
Lmao yeah, he would definitely do this. Stu's the kind of dude who would see those old axe commercials with the girls horny attacking dudes wearing it, and be like "I wonder if it works on dudes too-" leading to him spraying axe all over himself, leading to Billy hosing him down like a dog who got into some muck and throwing the axe away.
Also ok. I'm so sorry but I have to do an info dump about pheromones, it's not relevant and you can ignore it if you want but I just need to say:
There's only solid evidence of one actual pheromonal effect in humans, and it's the one that syncs up people's menstrual cycles. Pheromones are chemical compounds released by one individual that are picked up by another individual, and they trigger a consistent physical response. An example is that theres a compound in male mouse urine that triggers the onset of puberty in female mice.
Pheromones aren't processed in the same place as other scent information, they're processed by a specialized area called the vomeronasal organ (VNO). Other animals that have a lot of known pheromonal effects (cats, dogs, rodents, ect.) have a pretty big VNO, but in human's the VNO is vestigial, which basically means that evolution has been deselecting it, so it's shrunken, atrophied, and functionless (aside from maybe doing the menstrual cycle syncing thing, but we don't even have evidence that the VNO is responsible for processing that).
There's some evidence of things that could be pheromonal effects, for example, human babies will crawl towards the scent of their own mother's milk, but in order for this to be a pheromonal effect we would need to be able to isolate a single chemical compound that causes this behaviour and that hasn't happened yet. It's possible those babies are just reacting to the scent of their mother, which is made up of a mix of chemicals, so that wouldn't be a pheromonal effect.
Based on how inconsistent the evidence is around pheromones in humans it's unlikely that we have any super strong pheromonal effects, which isn't surprising. We're a species with a big frontal lobe so we do a lot more thinking and a lot less automatic reacting than other animals, so if we do still react to pheromones they probably only act to alter how likely a behaviour is top happen, rather than directly triggering the behaviour, so that makes them a lot harder to study and prove. But it also means theres not likely any specific pheromone that will make you irresistibly attractive to possible partners.
tl;dr: If you see something claiming to contain pheromones that will drive the people wild it's probably a lie
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welcome to emo moss’s menagerie of animal facts !
commencing today because i’ve finally stopped putting this shit off
today’s animal is the FLAT HEADED CAT (Prionailurus planiceps)
the flat headed cat is a small wild cat with reddish-brown fur. they prey mostly on aquatic animals and are extremely elusive, sometimes dubbed “the most unknown cat in the world.” these guys were first recorded in 1827 and despite efforts since then, they are remarkably elusive and hard to find. they are critically endangered, with <2,500 estimated to be left in the wild. they are normally nocturnal, but captive specimens have been known to be crepuscular. they are known for their wide, close-set eyes, small ears, short legs, and (obviously) flat head.
photo credit: joel sartore – national geographic
flat headed cats are very unique because of the nominal flattened shape of their heads. it’s unclear why their heads are shaped that way!
their eyes are very large and set very very close together, giving them the appearance of some sort of extraterrestrial cat thingy. it’s likely because they are nocturnal. these things can look you straight in the eyes if they wish (but they probably won’t, because they’re very shy)
they share a characteristic with cheetahs and fishing cats ! their claws are not fully retractable and they have about 2/3rds of their claws protruding at all times.
these guys are ITTY BITTY TINY. they have a head and body length of about 13-20 inches (41-50 cm) and a very short tail of 5-6 inches (13 to 15 cm)!
their diets are mostly aquatic and they have been known to wash their food in water like raccoons!
both males and females scent mark by raising their leg and spraying urine in their territories.
captive adults were observed groping and pawing along the bottom of a pool with their front paws spread, again very similar to raccoons !
their vocalizations, although we do not know much about them, have been reported to be similar to that of a domestic cat’s. kittens meow similarly and adults have been recorded exhibited purring noises that sound remarkably similar to a domestic cat’s!
after they catch their prey, which is aquatic, they usually take them at least 2 meters away from the body of water so that the prey cannot escape again.
another consistent weird body feature: from what has been recorded, their teeth are unusually long for a feline!
gallery:
#emo moss talks#emo moss’s menagerie of animal facts#animal facts#science#animals#cute animals#wildlife#wildlife facts#science facts#feline facts#cat facts#flat headed cat#wildlife information#animal information#facts#cool facts#fun facts
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somebody in a very long message asked me about skunks and mentioned a few other animals too so I'll do a quick post on skunks and see what I know about those other guys in later posts
also as a side note if you ever just want to chit chat about animals you can always message me or just tag me in your own posts I'm happy to have discussions as well as do these long lecture style posts :)
Skunks
cute little guys <3 I wanted a pet skunk and a pet raccoon as a kid (honestly I wanted a pet everything...) and the good news is you can technically have one! some states (17/50) will allow you to own a pet raccoon or a pet skunk but unless you are very knowledgeable in wildlife care or "exotic" pets I do not reccomend them they are not domesticated like dogs and cats are but can be tame (there's a difference)
anyways some skunk facts;
so their stinky spray is a pretty obvious skunk trait and like the messager mentioned many animals use scent as a way to communicate. pretty much all mammals have a scent gland located somewhere on their body- for many its the top of the head so they can rub pheromones off on trees or other critters to let animals know "hey this is mine" or "hey there handsome.... there's hot singles in your area"
they also mentioned possum and raccoons using scent- opossums are known for playing dead and will secrete stinky stuff to make their act more believable and raccoons? it's their urine and feces that make them stinky
some animals however use scent as a deterrent like skunks do
they are not the only animal that does this all mustelids do (that's the skink, ferret, stoat, etc. fam) and these critters are particularly stinky but don't have the spray adaptation that only skunks really have (as far as I've learned anyway)
both pet skunks and ferrets will often be surgically "de-scented" but usually still have a smell after (I mean... don't we all?)
skunks used to roll with this genus but recently made their own gang called Mephitis (literally means "stink") which has 12 species and includes skunks and "stink badgers" I've also seen some reports of 13 species but I'm not really sure off the top of my head which is true only 4 of them are "true skunks" though
skunks take their scent very seriously guys. some of them will directly aim for the eyes and others will do a little warning dance before spraying they can also adjust their sprays potency and angle and can also choose to spray from both or only one scent gland at a time
(spotted skunk- the dancers)
some can accurately spray 10 feet away but can reach up to 20 or more if they really wanted to soak you but then they have to reload for about 10 days before they can spray anything again
that odor can be smelled from 1.5 miles away! but don't worry 1/1000 humans can't smell it at all and their main predator owls also can't pick up the scent unfortunately for these birds they do still have eyes and a well aimed spray will still take them down
(also the chemical compound in their spray is flammable I have no idea who found that out and why but fun fact!)
if you ever get sprayed don't bother with tomato juice use hydrogen peroxide and baking soda to neutralize the compounds
anyways enough about stink
Skunks are omnivores and some will eat bees aiming for the actual bees over the honey like bears do (yes winny the pooh lied to you he wants that larva not necessarily the honey)
some skunks can be really social living in groups of around 10 and sometimes invite their neighbors to stay with them (there's a few cases of possums staying the night in their den) most of them ate relatively solitary but they aren't very territorial and will overlap sometimes
they are immune to snake venom! another trait that is somewhat similar to their cousins the badgers as they often eat snakes they can handle a lot of poison
alright that's what I know about skunks they're cute little guys but once again
DO. NOT. TOUCH. yes theyre stinky but they are also known to carry rabies if you see one out during the day do not approach it and call wildlife services if you are seriously worried
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His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
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My cat keeps peeing on my blankets when he's upset with me (this is normal behavior for him; nothing is physically wrong - he's just a spoiled brat), so I've taken revenge by making a custom anti-pee spray laced with lime juice. He won't come within a foot of it, and the vinegar/water/lime juice mixture completely eliminates the urine smell
#Tonight it was because I didn't give him extra food after I'd already fed them and he was upset about that#Last time it was because the bf was at his parents' babysitting the dog#I love Gerard but he is a menace and needs to learn the hard way
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