#Cat Pee On A Mattress

[werebutch]

Kind of a weird cat overall

[ineffablehogwash]

Doodled my stinky big dumb idiot cat, Takeo

[eyefocusing]

what happened to your bedframe in the end

before the mattress in the picture my family had been living with some friends and the bed i used was theirs, so when we moved out we suddenly had a lot of furniture to get and i decided itd be cheaper if i just slept on the floor.

and thennnnn quite honestly i got annoyed at the comments on that post and got myself a (regular) bed frame a few months after posting that. and then we moved again and my room was so small that i had to sell that bed frame and get a loft instead if i wanted to actually have any space. and now ive had my loft for six years! and i have a different mattress than the one in the pictures too

[exculis]

God I'm so glad I'm sleeping on the floor tonight my body is already fucked enough as it is. That bed would've just fucked me up more. I 💛sleeping on the floor

[terezillustrations]

Considering I use my bed as my work desk and my cat is currently using my bed as his toilet, for the next few days until I get a desk put in, I will be unable to work on my art projects. Gonna take the time to show him that, even though I’m *very* frustrated (especially considering he peed right on my equipment while I was gone last night - it still works though), I still love him and I want to figure out what’s going on health wise that’s got his house-training all twisted up. Send me patience😓

[whateveriwant]

The 141 getting you to stay in bed

It gets a little spicy towards the end so 18+ please

Soap

Waking up to the feeling of a numb arm is extremely unpleasant, but you suppose it comes with the territory when trying to cuddle 200+ pounds of rugged Scotsman

You manage to free your trapped limb and roll to the other side of the bed, but that space behind you remains empty for only about three seconds before Johnny's pressing himself flat to your back 

Now with his arms around your waist, he holds you tight to him, mumbling unintelligibly against the back of your head

He drifts back to sleep quickly enough, his grip on you starting to loosen, only for it to tighten again when he feels you try to wriggle out of his hold

The incoherent grumbles from his throat grow increasingly displeased the more you try to shift away from him, until finally he huffs a grumpy, “Quit it,” into your scalp, hooking his leg over yours 

If you still don't listen, he'll have no choice but to take drastic measures to keep you still. Fed up with your squirming, he simply rolls on top of you, pinning you to the mattress below him

You can try beating on his back, telling him that you can't breathe, but he just shrugs and says, “Use my breath.”

Don't even bother trying to explain how oxygen doesn't work like that, because he doesn't care. “Tough,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck. “‘Cause I'm no' movin’.” And by extension, neither are you

Gaz

Kyle is also a stage 5 clinger, but he's less boa constrictor and more baby koala

So when your alarm goes off at 8am precisely, it's no surprise that the man behind you grumbles in protest

“It's Saturday,” he bemoans. “Why you getting up so bloody early?” When you tell him you like to keep your routine even on the weekends, he just groans and mutters, “Five more minutes.”

You can try to squirm and wrestle out of his hold, but he'll just tighten his arm around your midsection, keeping his front firmly glued to your back

But you need to get up! You have to pee for goodness’ sake! 

“Use the empty bottle on your nightstand,” he mumbles into your hair, peeking an eye open as you crane to look back at him. The look you give him at such a horrid suggestion has him sighing. “Alright, fine,” he relents and releases you. “But be quick. Bed gets cold without you.”

Once you've answered the call of nature, don't be surprised to find Kyle waiting for you directly outside the bathroom. He's wrapped up in your comforter like an oversized burrito, only his face and feet visible as they peek out from under the plush cover

With a sleepy pout, he holds his hand out for you, tugging you back to bed with him. Oh, he’ll make sure you get those five more minutes alright. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming

Ghost

First of all, don't even kid yourself into thinking you'll stand a chance of waking up before him or sneaking out of bed without him knowing. This man is the epitome of a light sleeper, whenever he does sleep, that is

So when you do finally wake up, it comes as no surprise to see Simon already up too. But just because you're both awake now doesn't mean you have to immediately be productive; quite the opposite, in fact

With how busy and stressed he is all the time, Simon loves nothing more than to just lie in bed with you and do nothing for hours

If you try to get up, he's stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, his voice quiet but firm as he commands, “Stay.”

You'll lay back down for a bit to appease him, but it won't be long before you feel guilty since you have so many things you should be doing instead

But actually, no, you don't have  anything to worry about. He's already taken care of everything before you woke up, he humbly informs you

The cat's been fed, the bin’s been taken out to the curb, he's even gotten your breakfast typed up on his phone – just give him the word and he'll place the order

So now when he opens his arms for you, having you bury your face in his chest, you've got nothing to worry about except savoring this moment with him 

Price

John is also a very light sleeper, so it only takes .02 seconds of you trying to stand from the bed for his bear-like snores to cease and his eyes to flit wide open

He'll grab you by the shirt hem, mumbling, “Where’re y’ goin’?” But it doesn't really matter what your answer is because his response is always the same: “No y’r not.” And pulls you back down. “Y’r stayin’ right here.”

He'll lie on his stomach, face smushed in the pillow, a big, warm hand tucked under your shirt resting against your belly

With nothing better to do, you scroll through your phone, catching up on your socials, the news, etc., but it's not long before you hear him grumble, “Put that away, will ya? ‘S too early to be meltin’ your brain with that thing.”

Well, what does he expect you to do? Lie there and stare at the ceiling for an hour? “Expect you to be good,” he tells you. “Don't make me get the handcuffs out again.”

Now that you have to laugh at. If he thinks it's too early to be on your phone, it's definitely too early for that

He smirks, opening his eye just a sliver, and the hand on your stomach begins to rub soft circles. “Is that so?” he taunts, his touch sneakily edging downwards. And when he slips beneath the band of your shorts, well…

Let's just say you're not leaving that bed anytime soon

[alouanii]

How to Clean Cat Pee from a Mattress?

Cat pee on a mattress can be a frustrating and challenging problem for pet owners. The smell can be overpowering and penetrate deep into the mattress materials. Thankfully, with the right products and techniques, you can fully remove cat urine and its odor from a mattress. This complete guide will teach you effective methods for cleaning cat pee from a mattress.

[anintellectualblonde]

Actually actively at my wits end with my cat. I love her so much but I am not sleeping and having active breakdowns over the smell of ammonia and enzymatic cleaner in my room. I feel like I've tried everything

[okwonyo]

LOVE ANTHEM, 或 𓈒𓈒 cuddling with them.

( 𝒷 ) INTRODUC𝓲NG 𖥔 엔하이픈 ୨୧ f .. r 7OO fluff established relationship cautions ˚ non-idol au kissing skinship

jiah says : it has been a while since i last wrote headcanons huehue ㅠㅠ hope you enjoy 🪽

( ˊᗜˋreblogs&feedbacks · C𝑙𝑖CK )

HEESEUNG

would smoothly slide his hand in yours when you passe by— eyes still focused on the game he is playing. would then tug closer to him, gently and slowly, before resting his hand on your waist and making sit on his lap.

would wrap his arms around your form, stroking your thigh gently, fingertips brushing on your skin as his free hand’s fingers dance on the keyboard. and when he wins; would hug you tight while relaxing on his chair with a proud smile, even turning around with his chair.

him : “i deserve some reward for my hard work, right?” you : “of course, baby”

JONGSEONG

after landing a playful slap on your butt—to which you would yelp—whereupon he sees you laying on your stomach, would come lay on top of you instead of the mattress. ignoring your pleading for air, would rest his whole weight on you.

would at some point start landing wet kisses on your cheeks, sliding next to you so he can have a better angle and can free you from your agony. would then pull you in his embrace, still kissing your cheeks repeatedly.

him : “i want to eat your cheeks” you : “please don’t, i kinda need that”

JAEYUN

would already be following you around the house for a while. with his starry eyes and kicked puppy expression staring right at your back while you do the most random things ever. telepathically asking you for some cuddles.

his face would enlighten when you finally give him some attention. would open his arms for you to hide in and would sinm his nose in the crook of your neck— smelling your comforting scent. an embrace that will eventually end into long cuddles.

you : “jake, i need to pee” him : “just 5 more minutes, please”

SUNGHOON

would look for comfort in your arms after a long day away from you. it would be heard in the way he sighs in relief as soon as he steps foot in your house, his hurried steps approaching to the bedroom you would be laying in.

would love to be on top of you, his head resting on your chest while your fingers wrap around his hair strands. his hand would often take yours and put your hand palm on his cheek, then would turn his head to kiss it— all over.

him : “i missed you so much” you : “you are such a big baby”

SUNOO

would be really good at making you feel like you are the one who wants to cuddle— when you are, in theory, not. would know that if he stays next to you long enough, shoulder brushing yours but not really, you would soon ache for his touch and end up pressed against him.

would have such a cute smile on his face whenever you cuddle with him. would hold you on top of him as if you were an immense plushie with his arms squeezing your waist tightly while your face is in his neck.

you : “you could just ask instead of putting up a whole act” him : “where is the fun in that?”

JUNGWON

would have no shame or restraint in literally jumping on you the second he sees you lying somewhere without him. his laugh would resonate in the whole room when you let out a loud ‘oof’ and try to push him off of you. putting up a fight for anything with him would become a habit.

would love to tease you whenever you are locked in each other’s embrace: tickling you or pinching your sides when he feels like it— you would not even react at some point. but, would also calm down when you rub his back gently, purring like a cat.

you : “jungwon, i will kick you if you don’t stop” him : “you love me too much to do that”

RIKI

would prefer to cuddle during bedtime, when you are both on the verge of drifting to the dream world and your eyes are too heavy to stay open— when he doesn’t have to verbally ask. his shyness would wear off as soon as the tiredness would show it’s nose.

gently pulling the cover over both of your bodies, would scoot closer and put a single arm around you. then, would pull you close to him, to his chest, to his heart. like a real koala, would cling into you like that during the whole night— even if you end up in the weirdest positions, he would be holding you.

him : “wh’ d’you hate me?” you : “i just need some water”

💌 taglist ─── open, mwah ♡

[draczrys]

please i need modern!lucerys headcanons 🙏🙏 if you don't do modern aus ghost!luke i think would be fun

harry gilby my fav luke fancast <333

SWEET BOY. ❨ modern!lucerys velaryon headcanons ❩

his love language is quality time

"i'm home!" luke's voice rang out through the small london apartment, pulling you from your book to find him bundling three bags through the front door.

"i thought you were spending the day with your mum and jace?" you asked, brows knitted, setting down the ear-marked novel to turn on the couch.

luke shrugged and abandoned the tesco bags at the door, an arm on either side of your head whilst he ducks to peck your lips. "but you're going away tomorrow for a few days, so i wanted to spend the day with you instead."

your lips pull into a small smile, reaching up to find his cold lips again. luke chuckles against them, nudging at your nose. "pick a movie, i'll go put the snacks in a bowl."

he’s a cat person

a month into living together, luke arrived home with a bashful grin and a suspicious lump under his coat. after bracing you, he produced the most adorable little black kitten from his pocket. between the animal's big eyes and luke's pout, how could you say no?

arrax quickly became part of the family, growing into a beautiful sleek cat, always following luke around the apartment. he was smitten with the animal, constantly sneaking him treats and lifting him into bed when you weren't looking.

"he's going to get hair all over the fresh sheets, luke," you warned him, slipping into pyjamas. but it was too late, arrax was snuggled up beside his neck, the duvet pulled over them both. your two boys were impossible to say no to.

he’s an expert date planner

`'close your eyes." you didn't need to, considering luke had both hands covering your face and stopping you from seeing anything at all. you could feel him grinning with excitement, guiding your unsteady feet along the path.

a small gasp escaped you as your vision returned. the gardens of his mother's estate, dragonstone manor, had been transformed by candles and fairy lights. in the grass was a blanket and cushions, accompanied by a basket overflowing with food and a bottle of champagne. the stars up above shone down on the scene, a soft song playing nearby.

"oh, luke..." you murmured in wonder, turning back to him with wide eyes. "this is beautiful. what's the occasion?"

he shook his head, taking your hand. "no occasion. just wanted to have a nice night."

"we could have done that at home on the sofa," you giggled, following his lead over to the blanket.

"shush, you deserve the best. quick or the ice cream will melt."

he can cook really well

the smell hits you at the top of the stairs, before you even unlock the front door. the entire apartment swells with the homely scent of rosemary and garlic, luke's quiet humming leading you into the kitchen.

"what-cha doin'?" you sing softly, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

"making dinner," he matches your tone, smiling. turning in your hold, he carefully balances a wooden spoon towards your lips, the other hand acting as a safety net underneath. "try."

your lips part, letting him slip the spoon onto your tongue. the flavours burst in your mouth, unable to stop the soft moan that leaves you.

"holy shit," you murmur, peering over his shoulder to the pan. "it tastes like heaven."

luke smiles proudly -- no, cockily, his talents assured once again. rolling your eyes playfully, you pinch his side and roll up your sleeves, quickly delegated to vegetable chopping.

clingy bf!!

you've been awake for at least an hour now, basking in the weekend rest and the warm arms of your boyfriend. he's still fast asleep, snoring on your shoulder. you were perfectly comfortable, but the urge to pee had come on in the last five or so minutes.

as quietly and gently as you can, you slip slowly out of luke's grip and towards the edge of the mattress. you're almost there, having not disturbed him, but then he stirs. his grip on your waist tightens and quickly pulls you back into his side, never opening an eye.

"luke, i gotta pee," you whisper through a smile, but you don't dare fight his grasp.

"no," he groans, hugging you tighter and burying his morning curls in the crook of your neck. "stay. you're warm."

you giggle, head turning to press a quick kiss to his temple. "m'gonna pee all over you if you don't let me go. i'll be two minutes, max."

"fine." he groans again, reluctantly lets his hold on you loosen, letting you slip out from the duvet and onto the cold ground. "but be quick, i'm counting."

[dimepdf]

★  𝐆𝐎 '𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃, 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓 + 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. sometimes its alittle hard to get it on with your boyfriend Eren has trouble not sounding like a modern day porn star.

─── ☆ notes. eren yeager brainrot goes brrrr .

─── ☆ length. 1.9k ( 15 min read ) .

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni,  established relationship, sub!eren, soft dom!reader, mommy kink, teasing, petnames, oral sex (m), teasing, vocal sex, grinding, clothed sex, unprotected sex, cowgirl, begging, consent is sexy, so are whiny men, pee after you're done y'all pls, taiyo supports the practice of safe and healthy banging, reader got that million dolla pasayyy | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

When you first met, the first thing you noticed about your boyfriend Eren was that he was very awkward and skittish. 

Despite being taller than everyone he encountered, he had a bad habit of not being able to maintain eye contact.

He also bit the tips of his glasses when he was anxious and flinched at literally anything, such as if he were a cat with its fur sticking up when frightened.

Given that you were a naturally loud and touchy person around the people you felt more comfortable with, you had found his difficulty to become not startled at literally anything quite annoying.

However, as you were able to help him emerge from the small shell he had created for himself, you began to love all of his qualities and found them to be even cuter as the months of your relationship proceeded, especially when it came to his responses in more private situations.

Eren found it to be more of a problem because he noticed how much you enjoyed agitating him to see what would happen.

It was his fault for not actually telling you about it since he had secretly liked the attention, instead just turning it into the endearing little dynamic you two would adopt, always having him flustered over every little thing that you would do.

Given that you were his first (and only) girlfriend since middle school, it was just in your nature to make him blush for your own amusement since you knew Eren wasn't the most experienced man when it came to the romance or sex scene. 

The extent of his sexual experience is limited to him spending a lot of lone time holed up in his room seeing how many times he could make himself cum with just his hand to keep him company and the secret nsfw Twitter account where he would post audios of him whimpering on. 

Another thing you had noticed about Eren was how easily he had seemed to melt under your touch, with big dark heart eyes and a small exhale of contentment from his lips.

That was how you knew that you had him wrapped around your finger.

He would frequently find himself trying to stifle the stream of uncontrollable groans coming from his mouth by biting into the arm of his sweatshirt.

Of course it was all your fault—like it always is—the effect of your alluring compliments and nudging sexual bluntness, knowing just the right things to say would tent an erection in the poor boy's sweatpants.

Your eyes were glued to the issues, even with your hand pressed right against him, stroking him by the hilt as your fingers continued to entice every little noise that passed from his lips. 

It was becoming more difficult for Eren to not announce to his poor roommates that he was not only breaking curfew by having you over but also in the middle of trying to handle his needy girlfriend, who just couldn't seem to keep her hands to herself.

"Maybe we should do this, ah—another time, lovebug?" Eren muffled through his sweater sleeve, he pleads as you had him with his sweaters tugged down resetting in his boxers laid snuggly in between his parted legs. 

His other hand fisted into his comforter, trying to focus his strength in one place, with his hair disheveled from you shoving him against his mattress the second that he had managed to shut and lock his bedroom door.

"Why, what's wrong?" With your lips pouted you ask out in a false naive tone, chuckling as Eren shuddered at the feeling of your warm tongue swiping up the underside of his dick while not breaking eye contact. 

“Um, I don't know—it's just my roommates are home.” he whined. 

You hummed attention flittering from his face to his dick, your thumb dragging over the precum that oozed from his tip feeling pride in the way you had made his thighs twitch, sending a spark of pleasure down his spine straight to his dick.

"And?" You meant no real harm by it, not being able to keep track of how many times you and Eren had fooled around knowing that his roommates had been just behind the door. 

You also had nothing against his roommates and thought Levi and Armin were good people, but right now you only had one thing on your mind.

You had a committed desire for the sexual hunger that told Eren that you were only minutes away from destroying him, and who was he to deny you of what you craved so eagerly? There was a dark glint in your eye to prove it, that told him all he needed to know.

"You need to take responsibility you know, looking like that just to rile me up." You purred, and Eren knew he was the one not being fair in the first place. 

The second he had stepped foot out of his room to see you with his shaggy long dark hair tied up away from his face with one of your brown hair clips to show off the naturally sculpted face now displayed in full view for the world, it was as if Eren hadn’t noticed his true beauty.

"Plus," you smirked, sitting up to crawl up his legs to hover on top of him just above his pelvis, with your palm pressed flat against his needy erection. "I’m not the one being loud now, am I?"

You wanted to laugh at the struggling exhale that parted from Eren’s mouth, looming over him with such majestic beauty that he couldn't even comprehend how to form anything but a cute whimper, his hips lifting farther into your touch, his body reacting for him.

Eren's body was just so red and flushed with heat, not to mention how chastising your touch was against his skin, that he felt as though he had walked into an open flame. 

His body shook with each tease of your fingers, from the pale pink kiss against the spread of his cheeks to his dark blown-out pupils glittering with lust. 

Eren looked up at you with nothing but utter admiration in his eyes.

You attempted to conceal the fond smile that was sure to appear on your face at the sight of your boyfriend trembling by tucking your bottom lip in between your teeth. 

Eren clamped his hand over his mouth, pressing his fist against his mouth, his teeth grazing against his pale knuckles as you guided his tip between your thighs, grinding against his full hardness.

A struggling noise comes from his throat, and you quickly rid him of that privilege by removing the palm planted against his torso to instead pin his arms beside his head. "P–please, I can't if you keep teasing me, mommy."

Eren chased after the tempo of your hips after you cut him off, grinding against him with just the layer of your underwear slid to the side out of the way of any interruption. 

Your mouth parted as you finally took him inside, sliding him into your bundle of nerves with a wet sound as you slapped down with a bit more rough force against his lap that made him want to drool. 

Eren's intention to keep quiet to avoid attracting the unwanted attention from his poor roommates vanishes as he relaxes against your touch and leans back against his pillows while cowering out your name as if pleading for you to spare him from your chaos.

The pressure of having you hold him down as you shift your weight up and down on his length completely destroyed his composure as your scorching insides melted what was left of his sanity.

Because you wanted to milk Eren for all that he was worth, you weren't one to show him mercy, but that didn't stop you from ruining a perfectly good orgasm for a little bit more teasing.

You were a brat at heart.

As Eren sighed idly, his brows furrowed and his eyes shimmered with threatening tears, you withdrew your hand from his wrist and firmly steadied yourself against the headboard.

"If you're really that worried, I guess we can just stop if you want to?" You cooed, with a small roll of your hips.

Eren wanted to sob, but not in a really sad way; rather, I'm convinced my girlfriend might be some type of succubus way that had him rutting against your still hips shifting under your weight. "No, please, I wanna so bad mommy. I need you, please."

“Hm, I don't know, the last thing I ever wanna do is make you uncomfortable baby.” You had the audacity to say as if you weren't just purposely clenching around him. 

“Please, I'll be good,” Eren whined, pitching his hips up, his hands trembling as he seizes you by your hips changing the pace of your moments to something more tolerable. 

“I just want you to fuck me.” and just that easy had he flipped a switch in your brain, your hands settling pressed against his chest to keep your balance as you followed through with his wishes the squeak of his poor mattress springs not even being able to cover up the sounds of poor sounds. 

It was an agonizing pleasure to still himself as you rode on top of him, holding back from messing up your steady rhythm with the absolute feral feeling that he had built up in his system. Devoting the rest of the control that he had left in his body to cover his mouth, struggling to hold back every gasp and moan praying that his roommates would spare him with mercy the next morning.

“Aww poor baby.” he shivered at the proud smirk on your face, “want me to help?” Eren could only nod obediently, completely had he lost control of his voice not trusting what noises would part from his lips next.

The hand resting against this torso trailed up to grip around his neck leaning down to kiss him, deciding that covering his mouth with yours was a more effective way to muffle him.

Eren responded enthusiastically, allowing his body to melt under your kiss, falling intoxicated to the feeling of your body grinding against his, the amount of friction and ecstasy happening to his body enticing his orgasm closer and closer, panting under your soft lips. 

You were the first to come undone, it was common with all that teasing would you always be the one too excited to hold yourself together in the long run.

The stutter of your hips and the tight clench of your muscles making his brain switch into faulty mod.

Just seconds after had Eren let out a whine of pleasure, you leaned back holding onto the headboard lazily as his hands moving to hold you into place the sound echoing through his shoebox size of a room. 

The noise was definitely heard by the dorm's other occupants as they could only hold so much strength in the trust of a wooden door between them. 

Post-nut clarity hitting Eren like a bus, the sound of your laughter being the first thing he could process after his string of groans. His hands instantly went to cover his face as you snuggled closely against him, giggling at his shy reaction.

“You did that on purpose,” he murmured, mentally preparing himself to have to face the awkward eye contact he would have to endure getting up and walking to the bathroom. 

🔖 @kawatabae / @haitaniwhor3 / @pluzo / @hey-gurls69 / @momoewn / @sheluvzeren / @kogoshidied / @zombieghoulfriend / @hoohoohope / @pidwidge / @jadeisthirsting / @prblmtic / @zuuki / @watyousayin / @rumi-rants / @justanotherkpopstanlol / @awkwardaardvarkforever / @chloee0x0 / @lexiinanime / @melty-kisses / @kageyama-i-want-tobiors / @namidaass / @princesstiti14 / @unholybabyface / @wenumsmol / @kiyomeichann / @ziggy-09 / @tojidilfs / @anotherlovelyruin / @s-witch-bitch / @laylasbunbunny / @celi-xxmoon / @toji-dabi-wife / @dilfs-lover / @dunixxd / @kik7 / @keiva1000 / @songbirdgardensworld

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[archangeldyke-all]

Baby love pics alongside my ask

Modern au Sev and reader who run a puppy foster home? Maybe Sev gets really attached to one of the pups and wants to adopt her for herself? Idk do what you want with this

mars there are tears in my eyes, baby love is not a baby anymore 😭 what a big girl!!!

men and minors dni

with slayer and sugar growing old, their faces getting white and their energy levels getting lower, you and sevika have had more free time on your hands. your sunday morning hikes with your puppies (slayer in a little carrier on sevika's back, sugar proudly carrying the biggest stick she can find the entire walk) have gotten much shorter as their joints get sore, and your nightly walks around the park have turned into walks around the yard-- both of them losing their stamina.

and you know it'll fucking suck once they pass on. and you know it'll suck for sevika even more, because she's never lost a pet before. she doesn't know how hard it'll hit her.

so, after a bit of research, some meetings at the local shelter, and a few trips to the pet shop-- you and sevika decided to become foster moms for dogs.

slayer and sugar are chill enough in their old age to provide the perfect, calming enforcement for anxious or previously abused dogs. the temporary additions to your family will keep you and sevika active while your dogs age, and they'll help soften the blow when it's time to say goodbye to sugar and slayer.

what you fail to consider, is that both of you are total fucking suckers-- and being foster parents means having to say goodbye to the dogs once the shelter finds them a family.

you accidentally adopt 3 dogs before you give up on fostering.

the first dog you foster is a grumpy old beagle named bernard. his previous owner was a ninety year old woman who died, and who couldn't walk much before that. therefore, bernard fat. so fat, that he can barely walk.

you both fall in love instantly.

with your help-- but especially with his new friends in slayer and sugar-- bernard starts to come out of his shell. his half block walks before he collapses turn into a full lap around the neighborhood in no time; he absolutely loves peeing right on top of where his big sisters just went.

and as he starts getting healthier, his bad mood starts to vanish, and you and sevika are both shocked to find that bernard is a lapdog.

he was too heavy to jump before, but now that he can, any time either of you are sitting, bernard's not far behind.

so, of course, when bernard's healthy enough to adopt out to a family, you and sevika become heartbroken at the idea of saying goodbye to your little old man.

you adopt him.

the next dog you get is a puppy, a sweet baby mutt who was the only surviving member of her litter-- found in the dumpster behind an italian restaurant.

you name her s'ketti, short for spaghetti, and on the first night of her staying in your home, sevika turns to you in bed and nudges you.

"y'know we're not getting rid of this dog right?" she asks.

you giggle. s'ketti's made herself comfortable right between you and sevika, and she's snoring the most precious little snorts as she sleeps peacefully for the first time in her life. "we don't even know what her breed is, sev. she could end up being a hundred pounds."

"you didn't answer my question."

"...obviously we're not getting rid of her."

you decide that maybe a cat will be easier to foster. you and sevika are both dog people-- maybe having a cat it'll be easier saying goodbye.

but then you meet pinecone-- a skinny street cat who you both get to love on and fatten up-- a sweet baby who opens up to you and sevika and the dogs so kindly and patiently-- a cat who will yowl until you put her on a leash and take her on walks with the dogs-- and how can you not fall in love?

"we can't go back to that shelter asking to foster ever again, they're gonna laugh us out of the place." you sigh one night as you cuddle into bed besides sevika. you've had to upgrade to a king mattress to make more room for your clingy fur-babies.

"but... we can go back asking to adopt right?" sevika asks as she shoves sugar out of her spot in bed.

"we do not need another animal!" you giggle as you gently nudge gnocchi and slayer off your pillow.

"i feel like pinecone needs a cat friend, y'know?" sevika asks. you cackle.

"pinecone's fine! look at her." you nod to the foot of the bed where pinecone's licking a snoring bernard's tummy.

"okay... i feel like i need another cat friend, then." sevika sighs.

you just cackle and pull your wife in for cuddles.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom

[x-junwrites-x]

if requests are open I wouls loooooove a super fluffy silly edd x reader (gender nautral pref) I just wanna snuggle him so bad I wanna kiss him upppp

A/N: Hey Anon, thanks for the suggestion! Man, I should write more things featuring the cola king himself. I hope you enjoy!

-Jun

-------------------------

Snuggles: Edd x Reader(fluff)

tw: none

You woke up slowly, a groan escaping your lips at the crushing weight so presently on top of you. Your eyes cracked open, faced with a head full of brown messy hair as your boyfriend slept soundly on top of you. You nudged your boyfriend on the shoulder sleepily, feeling his head nuzzle further into your neck as if out of spite. 

“Baby,” You mumble out in a whine, voice cracking around the edges from disuse throughout the night. You rolled your eyes as silence met you. Silence except for the snore that made its way between the curve of your neck and collarbone. You scoff, rolling your eyes as you try clawing the mattress besides you for some leverage. The sheets bunch up in your grip, doing nothing but mock you for your attempts. 

“Baby, you’re lucky you’re a cute sleeper. I swear I’d boot you off bed privileges otherwise.” You teased, tracing a hand up his spine to bury your fingers in the shaggy hair at the back of his head. He groaned slightly at the feeling of you scratching his scalp, sleepily mumbling something against your neck. 

The two of you had gone to bed curled up around each other, somehow finding your way under his bigger form at some point and sleeping soundly despite the weight. You and Edd had always joked that he was your weighted blanket, which you loved about sleeping with him, except when you needed to pee. Like right now. Your brows pinched at the thought. 

“Babyyy.” You tried again, lightly tugging his hair between your fingers. You felt his arms wind around you, nuzzling into your chest. “I gotta go to the bathroom, honey bear. Get upppp.” You whined, finally dragging your free hand down under his sleep shirt that had rode up during the night. Your nimble fingers traced idle patterns against the warm skin of his mid back before going in for the kill. Edd yelped in surprise as you began tickling him, leaving your side to roll away.

“Okay, okay! I’m up.” He squirmed against the assault, starting to laugh high pitched. You laughed along with him, cackling as he swatted your hands away like a cat. 

“Aw, but you’re adorable when you get tickled.” You mused, sitting up on the bed to meet his glare. 

“No fair, I was cut off guard.” He pouted, rolling on his back to stare up at the ceiling. He stretched, hands in fists above his head. His t-shirt rolled up, showing his cute tummy to which you stared unabashedly at. “Stop.” He whined, pulling his shirt down after a second of noticing your stare.

“Hmm, no. You’re tummy’s cute.” You smiled, as he covered his face with his arm. “Alright, I'll leave you so I can go to the bathroom.” You got up, not before he reached out to grab your wrist. You looked back at him, eyebrows raised. 

“C’mere.” He tugged you, bringing him closer to him. He cupped your face, smiling at you before he laid a big kiss on your cheek. You giggled, leaning to kiss him on the lips. He hummed, letting out a chuckle when you peppered kisses over his cheeks and forehead. 

“Love ya.” He pressed a final kiss to your cheek, letting you go. Your cheeks warmed, shuffling towards the door before turning around. 

“Love you too.” You blew a kiss at him cheekily. He laughed as you closed the door behind you. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting my mother to stop making so much noise in her own house when I’m staying here?

So me (22M) and my mother (62F) have a complicated relationship. She is very very toxic and always has been - she used to induce illness in me and make my pre-existing disorders worse so that she could keep me with her when she separated from my father, she never let me leave the house because she would tell me I would be harmed or something would happen to me if I was away from her, she would control everything I did and what I ate or drank, where I went, etc. The house she and I lived in was an incredibly bad environment for me. It’s not taken care of, it’s dirty and unhygienic, I was constantly ill and having allergies set off, she would try to feed me dirt-covered food I watched her pick up off the floor, the shower didn’t work and she wouldn’t let me go elsewhere to bathe. I kept talking about moving out, especially once I got into a serious relationship with my girlfriend (26F), but it would always devolve into an argument with her telling me I wasn’t going anywhere, that my girlfriend would leave me, that she’s the only person who’ll stick by me, and so on.

All of that is basically background context to counterbalance the (fair) preconceptions of “you’re guests you’re imposing on her you can just leave” etc you’re about to have.

So I finally moved out this year and in with my girlfriend and it was wonderful. However, my mother was blowing up BOTH of our phones 24/7 telling me to come back, and it reached the point she was contacting Other people (family, our friends) to get Them to tell me to move back in with her and asking where I was at all hours of the day, who I was with and what I was doing. I was ignoring her as best I could. Then a couple of weeks ago mine and my girlfriend’s house flooded after our upstairs neighbour burst a pipe in the building and water began fountaining through all our electrical sockets and lights and pouring from the ceiling. We had nowhere else to go except to stay with my mother until the house was repaired and made safe again, especially because so many of our belongings were ruined.

So we’ve been back here since. We’re forced to sleep on the couch together in the living room because in the time I was gone she somehow let bugs infest my old room and her cat pee all over the mattress of the bed.

Now, my girlfriend and I are both very non-confrontational and I’m usually super hard to annoy, but I’m also autistic and highly sensitive to noise. And my mother is. Very noisy. She blasts the TV at full volume all day even when she leaves the room and gets angry if you turn it off even if she’s not watching it, she’s a chainsmoker who’s constantly hack-coughing, she’ll have the radio playing OVER the TV, she shouts out the windows to her neighbours, she keeps all the windows and doors open, she’ll play music at full volume without headphones on, etc. I have noise-cancelling headphones from when I still lived here but she’s often so loud it doesn’t muffle it at all.

Recently it’s reached the point where she’ll wake up during the night, say 2-4am, come through to the room we’re sleeping in where the TV is, and just turn the TV on, turn the radio on, start singing along to music, slam doors, VACUUM. For the past 2 weeks she’s been waking me and my fiancée up every single night, often several times, and we’re at the end of our rope with it.

We can’t afford a hotel and have nowhere else to go, when we try to ask her to keep it down at LEAST during the night she says she can do whatever she wants because it’s her house and says we’re being ungrateful, and when we’ve offered to try to clean up my old room so we can sleep in there she snaps at us not to touch anything of ‘hers’ and gets mad because we’re implying her house isn’t clean, that we don’t want to be near her, that we must be telling everyone her house is shitty, etc.

Yesterday I got into an argument with her because I was having an extremely bad sensory day, my girlfriend said she had a migraine, and my mother responded by turning up the TV. When she saw I was holding onto my headphones and my girlfriend was near tears, she turned it up even louder and smirked at me. The argument basically ended in her screaming at me that if she was so bad we could leave, I impulsively said okay we would, and then she got physically aggressive and barred the doorway and told us I wasn’t going anywhere because she’d make sure of it.

It’s just. Exhausting! GF and I are constantly sleep-deprived, drained, grumpy, tired, and dealing with headaches on top of the stress of trying to financially recoup from the house flood and deal with getting everything fixed, and half of me is mad at my mother for not having even basic respect for us sleeping or our issues when half the time she is not even watching the damn TV or in the same room as it, while the other half of me feels conflicted because it’s her living room and we’re sleeping in the TV room and she’s putting us up when we have nowhere else.

AITA (/are we the assholes) for wanting her to accommodate us despite being guests?

What are these acronyms?

[justnother-user]

Matt, Mello, and Mello/Matt HCs I’ve had stuck in my head for months

Matt

• Uses 3-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash

• Black nail polish

• Bi, no preference

• Saggy pants, belt only for looks (fashion over function <3)

• Smokes newports

• HATES VAPES

• Finger guns in pictures

• Has the crunchiest hair from the constant dying and bleaching

• Goes to sleep at 6am and wakes at like 9am (barely functioning)

• GAUGES!!! (like small ones not the huge ones)

• Burnt out from the pressure at Wammys

• Has used heroin like 3 times minimum (idk why)

• Dimples

• Canadian, brought to England

• Super dehydrated (pees out battery acid)

• Glasses (googles have his prescription on them)

• Jewish (non practicing)

• Bullies kids on Roblox

• Hates the French

• Wears boxers

• Hates Mountain Dew

• Sleeps on an air mattress (always wakes up basically on the floor)

• 80% of shirts are stripes (me too king 🫶)

• Almost better than Near when it comes to technology

• Flip phone has a little Pac-Man ghost charm on it

• Has a tamagotchi

• Can’t cook for shit

• Uses astrology as an excuse not to do stuff (“Mercurys in retrograde sorry can’t do it :P”)

Mello

• Coke head (again idk why it just suits him)

• Plays the piano (badly)

• Bi, preference towards men

• Big coffee lover (black coffee, anything with milk and sugar is “basically a milkshake”)

• Catholic (mostly for the aesthetic, but does go to mass on Sundays)

• Wears boxer briefs

• Lowkey knitter (like knits in secret)

• Constantly overheating

• Reading glasses

• Prefers dark chocolate (hates white chocolate bc “its not real chocolate”)

• Pescatarian

• Russian or Latvian (no one really knows, he doesn’t care)

• Internalized homophobia

• Cat person

• Tried to get into sewing but kept messing up

• Vision loss in his left eye from the explosion

• Left handed (tried to make himself ambidextrous)

Mello/Matt

• Mello buys Matt nice lighters and ashtrays but Matt never uses them because “they’re too nice”

• Mello paints both of their nails and gets mad when Matt accidentally smudges them

• Mello cuts Matt’s hair, if he doesn’t Matt would be walking around with a mop head

• Matt does sudoku while Mello does crossword puzzles

• Mello is a total passenger princess when in Matt’s car

• Mello knits Matt beanies

• Mello helps Matt dye his hair

• Matt has cyberstalked Mello’s exes

• They both have cheated on each other but they don’t care (yes they do)

• If it wasn’t for Mello, Matt would have no social life

• SUPER on again/off again

[lefaystrent]

Friendly Neighborhood Criminals

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic Patton/Dark Sides

Summary: Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.

-------------------------------------------------------

Patton can't quite figure out how he ended up here.

Well, he knows he's in his apartment. He had saved up for months just to afford the deposit. And the landlord had been so sweet to take a chance on him with his credit, or lack thereof. Now he has a space of his own, a one bedroom with hardwood floors he can slip and slide on socked feet. He can go to the fridge when he wants and not be yelled at for eating the food or drinking the water.

And sometimes! Sometimes a black and white kitty cat roams the front steps. Patton's fairly certain it belongs to one of the neighbors, and she wears a collar. He's not supposed to pet cats because of his allergies, but he likes to let her rub her sides against his pants leg while he talks to her. It's nice because she doesn't tell him to shut up or tell him he's stupid or call him ungrateful.

This apartment is his new chance at life. A slice of freedom. And he's proud of it.

But then one night, three men break into his apartment. They probably think he isn't there because there is no vehicle parked in his one assigned spot. Owning a car seems light-years away in terms of money. It's not like he really needs one either! He has a bus pass and two legs to walk on!

Regardless, the three men break into his apartment, picking the locked front door, and they come in uninvited to see his apartment that he is very proud of.

His apartment that has no furniture.

"What the fuck?" Patton hears one of them say. As soon as he heard them picking the lock, he panicked and cowered behind the bedroom door. He huddles now on the other side, peeking out the crack and scared that closing it will make too much noise.

"Is this one empty?" another asks. They walk into the center of the small living area. It's an open space that melds into the kitchen, separated only by a short island counter.

"No, I've seen a guy coming in and out. Someone's been living here."

"Maybe they just moved out?"

"No, I just saw him earlier today. There haven't been any moving vans."

"Uh, bedroom then?"

"Oh God," Patton shudders in fright. He knows he's not supposed to think the worst in people, but these guys came in without permission with clearly bad intentions. What if they are looking for him? What if they want to hurt him? Or kidnap him? They had obviously been watching him for some time.

"Maybe. Let's check it out."

Terror slams into him. He throws himself away from the door and spins in the middle of the bedroom, searching for any place to hide. But there isn't one. There are no curtains, no bed to crawl under. There is a blanket on the floor with a pillow. He's been saving up for an air mattress as his next goal. He's been looking forward to sleeping on something somewhat soft.

The tiny closet has no room to hold him, and the window jams up nine times out of ten. They'll hear him if he attempts pushing the pane up and–

The door creaks as it sways open. Three men stare at a scattered-brain mess.

"Oh shit, he's here!"

"I thought you said he left!"

"I thought he did!"

Patton can't take it anymore. He throws up his hands and screams, "Please don't kill me! I can give you my wallet. There's not much in there, I'm sorry. Just please don't kill me!"

"Dude, is that where you sleep?" one of them gestures to the blanket pile on the floor.

Sniffling back tears, Patton responds, "Do you want my blankets? You can have them."

"Do you seriously live here, or are you squatting?" another says. He's wearing a hat. It's a very nice hat and Patton would tell him so if he wasn't about to pee his pants.

"I live here....it's my apartment."

"There's no shame if you're squatting. We won't tell anyone. Do what you gotta do."

A hysterical giggle tumbles out his lips. Patton shakes his head hard enough to give himself whiplash. "No, it's my place, I pay for it, I swear."

"You mean you live like this?" This one wears a dark hooded jacket, hood up.

"Y-yeah?" Patton stammers. He can't understand why they're so hung up on where he lives.

"This is..." the third one strokes his mustache, "Yeah, I can't even make fun of this. This is just sad."

"Do you have food in your fridge?" the hat guy demands. "Please tell me you at least have food in your fridge."

"Uh....uh... yes? Are you hungry?"

In answer, the hat guy strides with angry purpose into the kitchen. Patton can't see him from this angle anymore, but he hears the fridge open.

"There's literally only spaghetti in here!"

"It's...it's cheap to make." Patton doesn't know why he's explaining himself. Had he known that three men were going to break into his apartment, should he have prepared better meals for them?

"Can I have some?" the guy with the mustache asks, only to be cuffed by the hoodie guy.

"Dude, not the issue here."

"Why is there only pasta?!! Why don't you have any tables or TVs or a fucking bed?!!!"

The hat guy had gone past the boiling point. He hollers and slams cabinet doors like no tomorrow. Patton flinches and remembers too vividly of the atmosphere before the apartment. Before he was safe.

"I'm sorry," Patton defaults to how he's supposed to respond. He has been bad and he has to make amends. The tears overflow now and he can't get his shaking hands to wipe the wet streaks away. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh shit, he's breaking. Virge, do something?"

"What the hell am I supposed to do?! I am not mentally equipped for this!"

"Janny!!"

The hat guy comes whirling back with all the fury of a storm. His shoulders heave. A gloved finger points straight at Patton.

"You!" he roars. Well, it's more like a hiss, but it sounds like a roar to Patton's sensitive ears.

"I'm sorry!"

"You have nothing to apologize for! Obviously, society has let you down. This is unforgivable. Deplorable! You deserve better than this."

"I do?" Patton questions, glasses askew and eyes wide.

"Yes. Come boys, we're leaving."

"Wait, why? Where?" Virge exclaims, waving his hands back and forth at everything and nothing at all. "What are we doing? This isn't the plan."

"New plan! Operation Do-It-Ourselves commences now."

And that is how Patton finds himself standing outside his apartment the next morning watching the three theives from last night moving furniture into his apartment.

He doesn't question if the furniture is stolen. He doesn't ask why they're going through so much trouble. He doesn't ever call the police.

He watches them bicker as they wedge a sofa through the door. He mumbles an answer when they politely ask him which wall he wants it pushed against. He eats the breakfast sandwiches that they brought him, and he feels like he's having an out of body experience.

Janus, the hat guy, directs the other two with confident authority. Virgil, the hoodie-clad one, fills up the fridge with groceries. Remus, the man with the mustache, shoves a mattress into the bedroom.

"What's happening?" Patton mutters to himself later. He thinks he's being quiet enough, but Remus hears him and throws an arm over his shoulder.

"Janus has adopted you. This is how it starts. It's best to just go with it."

Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.