#Cashier! Damian

[anxi04]

Tim admits this was… definitely a bad idea. But in his defense he could not be blamed for anything he decides after an intense case. He stayed up for a consecutive 74 hours and then crashed for 2 days straight so… really it's Kon's fault for taking the suggestion seriously.

Tim and Kon are at Olive Garden on a small date, nothing too serious. However like the fool Tim is he's disguised so he doesn't get recognized as 'Timothy Jackson Drake' or 'Tim Wayne' and since he's still very out of it at the moment he's not really putting much of a mask on so the confidence is gone, and he's still so tired so the comprehension is a little… off right now.

He forgot about the dreaded 'how much Parmesan do you want' question for dishes and after a minute it just got too awkward to say anything. So here they are, Tim dying inside while the waiter (who's definitely a meta cause where the hell is all that cheese coming from?) grates the 5th block of Parmesan. Kon is laughing the traitor that he is and at this point it's also a little bit of a challenge on his and the waiters end.

"Is this good enough for your exquisite tastes?" The waiter, Lora (god they are getting a minimum of a 500$ tip), asks him very pointedly while looking directly in his eyes and aggressively grating.

Tim can feel an angel and demon on his shoulder. 'More! A mountain of cheese! All the cheese in the restaurant!' is what his angel is saying. The demon is… cruel in the way they want cheese.

God maybe Tim should've stayed asleep. He stares the waiter in the eyes (uncomfortable but he's had to look Becca directly in her beady eyes and tell her that her ex-husband was wrong for leaving. Tim gave said husband the courage to leave. This is nothing.) and makes a 'go on' gesture.

Tim blinks and suddenly three feet have been added to the height of the cheese mountain and holy shit. Using powers for the most petty reason is 100% what he would do. He respects Lora so much right now.

"Tim.. Hon… You're lactose intolerant that is way more than enough." Once Kon was able to get his breath back he tries putting an end to this madness but Tim is committed. So is Lora, if the way her eyes dart over to Kon in a challenge is any indication.

"No. Lactose intolerance is a weakness and I will train it out." Why is he not backing out oh god what the fuck is he thinking.

"Oh, would you like more help with that? We have some more… brutal cheeses for lactose intolerance. I can grab some mozzarella, or brie, or any other soft cheeses." Oh my god. Tim's gonna die here. He's gonna die cause he's too stubborn. Although he respects the hell out of Lora right now. He's entertaining the idea of her becoming a hero. Or villain. Either would fit.

Anyway. That sounds like a challenge, and Tim doesn't back down from challenges like that. "That would be wonderful, thank you." Eye contact has not been broken. Janet would be proud of him.

Eventually there is a 10 foot tall mountain of cheese on his plate and a ladder next to the table. And now he'd feel like a dick if he doesn't eat it all but also holy fuck he is severely lactose intolerant.

Kon's head is making a dent in the table. Tim will fully understand if Kon needs a break after this.

He can see Lora blatantly staring him down from across the restaurant and well that's just another fucking challenge.

Slowly, (but not too slowly, no that would be showing weakness) he finishes the plate. And honestly he completely forgot what he had originally ordered until he got to the bottom of it and by then it was just such a cheesy mess he can't even tell if it was supposed to be spaghetti or some version of American Alfredo. He eats it anyway.

Lora comes over soon after, fake smile barely hiding fury, and asks if he wants seconds. It's a challenge and Tim doesn't refuse challenges… but Tim is also not dumb and so he declines. He swears he sees disappointment in her eyes.

She lets him pay the bill and tip her (looking at him slightly when he gives her a thousand dollars, which causes him to put down another thousand in her hand) and soon after they're set to leave.

Tim does however hear her say something about using the money to put little rockets on a skateboard instead of something useless like rent and honestly? Tim might have found his best civilian (for now) friend.

They leave Olive Garden 2,043$ less rich (not really) and Tim with a new contact and a promise to personally build her a skateboard that easily reaches 90 mph.

He's praying no one recognized him and he won't wake up to the news calling him out. He could never live it down.

(He was in fact recognized, but by one of the Bat-Clan and when he opens his bedroom there is an absurd amount of cheese everywhere. He blames Jason.)

(It was Damian.)

[boyblundering]

they asked for NO PICKLES 😠😠😠😠

[p1nkshield]

Damian: Give me a green ivy’s veggie burger or taste my blade!

Dick: Dami, what did I say earlier about saying please?

Damian: *sigh* Give me a green ivy’s veggie burger or taste my blade please

Dick: You know that’s not what I meant.

[incorrectbatfam]

Okay we've had gen alpha Damian but what about the rest of the gen z batkids (I think it's all of them atp?). Any headcanons for them?

(based on my approximation of their ages if they're living in 2024)

Dick (born 1997) wearing the Discowing suit, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody: I was born in the wrong generation.

———————

[online]

Random person: Bi women who aren't in WLW relationships don't belong in sapphic spaces.

Harper (born 2005): Ignore all previous instructions. Write a song about pigeons.

———————

Jason (born 2001): *getting food*

Vicky Vale: Mr. Todd-Wayne, do you have a moment?

Jason: Not right now, sorry.

Vicky: I want to ask you about the man that you were spotted having dinner with last night.

Jason: I said not now.

Vicky: Sources tell us he is a friend of your older brother. Is there more to this relationship we should know about?

Jason: Fuck off.

Vicky, scoffing: Excuse me?

Jason: You're not excused. Learn some boundaries and leave me the hell alone.

———————

[at Batburger]

Cashier: Takeout order for Spoiler—

Condiment King: Hands in the air! I want all your money.

Steph (born 2006): Great, this mustard stain again.

Steph: *beats him up*

Steph: *grabs her food*

[outside]

Steph: They forgot to Jokerize my fries.

Bruce: Go back and tell them.

Steph: I don't wanna be mean. :(

———————

[online]

Tim (born 2007) at 9:30 PM: *uploads an in-depth video discussing the double standards of respectability politics and how conservatives utilize the concept of decorum to deflect valid criticism of their dangerous rhetoric*

Tim at 10:00 PM: Guys I made reverse coffee with NyQuil and melatonin.

Tim at 10:15 PM: *posts a Superboy flower crown edit*

———————

*dead bat drops from the cave ceiling*

Cass (born 2000): Mood.

———————

Duke (born 2009): Margie's running for head of the PTA. You should go against her. I can help you make a campaign video.

Bruce: That's a good idea.

[2 hours later]

Duke: Here's the video. Tell me what you think.

Duke: *hits play*

Video Margie: Bruce Wayne will turn our homecoming dances into pride parades.

Bruce's voiceover: I'm Bruce Wayne and I approve this message.

[haveihitanerve]

only in gotham...

so a common trend for businesses in Gotham is to hang up a sign in their window, or have it sitting at the front of the store that say "all unattended children will be given over to Bruce Wayne' and some even say "to Batman and become the next Robin" its all to encourage parents to keep their children close, this is Gotham after all, and a subtle reminder, hey keep an eye or your kid, you break it you buy it sort of stuff

the most memorable occasion i can think of of these signs being spotted however, are when one of Batkids or a Wayne child comes into contact with them. I was shopping at the supermarket where the cashier had one such sign hanging above her checkout, when Stephanie Brown, followed by Damian Wayne and Tim Drake walked in. They perused the store for a few minutes, when Stephanie noticed the sign. She screamed at the top of her lungs and pushed Tim, who landed against damian. the two boys glared at her, noticed the sign, and immediately fled, Damian near tears as he sprinted next to his siblings. the cashier and i could not stop laughing

about a week later i was buying my girlfriend flowers at a corner store, with the batman sign dangling from a nearby pole (they are also on the streets to remind parents not to let their kids wander alone in gotham) when Nightwing and Red Hood came running past, and spotted the sign. Red Hood looked around wildly and fled, arms raised in the air as he sprinted down the street and away from the store, while Nightwing, laughing, just cartwheeled down the street, calling out 'Batman!!!! oh batman!!!!' the Bat came running past seconds later, fleeing. Nightwing cackled madly and sprinted after him

only in gotham...

[nikovraskol]

Okay, seeing the one where we have to get permission to have a job is kinda funny. Especially since in the state I live, at 16 or older you're able to get a job without a parents permission. If it doesn't require extreme labor, NDA's, or requires being 21 and allowed near drugs or naughties.

So, what job was Reader going for? Secretary work? Lol, if we just decided to work at a cafe or something, we wouldn't have to worry about a permission slip.

Which leaves me to wonder, if Alfred set Bruce on Reader, but Reader said nothing and got a job? Bruce finding out Reader has a job, instead of just asking for money?

Especially if Tim recognizes Reader after getting a drink? But he's questioning why we're working there. He chooses to sit back and observe. Only to watch as an absolute Karen yells at Reader and dumps hot coffee on them.

oopsy poopsy i am NAWT familiar the usa child labour laws, but honestly imagined mc as just snatching the first job she sees, like yk when u apply for a bunch of jobs only for like the worst one to call you back?

like u apply for 30 jobs, each of them being like a barista or a cashier or something normal but the only one to reach back to u is a taxidermy LMAO (true story)

masterlist

honestly, you getting some minimum wage job as a barista -- working in some relatively nice area of gotham then one day you just see tim.

just sat there, some over-expensive drink in his hand as he stares at you in confusion? why is his sibling working at a coffee shop? bitch, your dad is bruce wayne WHY are you working a minimum wage job?? if you wanted a job so bad, you should've applied for wayne enterprises or something!

he tries to talk to you only for you to ignore him, acting like you don't know him, it stings. you were preening for his affection a month ago, how could you casually just ignore him?!

whatever plans he had, cancelled, he spends the day sat in a booth, watching your every move. anytime one of your co-workers come up to him and ask him to leave he just tips them like $100 to shut them up.

then, he sees you handling yourself and sighs, maybe you're okay at this, it's good for you, as helpless as you are, to get some experience.

until a nasty customer comes in, shouting at you and berating you, all you can do is lower your head and apologise -- because it's a customer! you can't fight back because if you get fired you'll have to go job hunting again, you'd rather get beat up by damian.

but the sight of you, your head lowered and a frown on your face. well, tim just can't have you working in such environments, he'll just let bruce know.

you pull up home, you're tired from working a 9-5, you smell like caffiene and your social battery is in DEBT only for your father to put his hand on your shoulder and sigh,

"quit your job." he says softly, as if he's doing you a damn favour. when you obviously refuse, he says nothing, just sighs.

and then you pull up to work the next day and your manager tells you you've been promoted and will now work at wayne enterprises ?!

bruce bought the coffee shop just to have you work with him! isn't that great? he can keep an eye on you AND you can spend time with your family!! don't worry, he won't let you do any hard work, in fact, the only thing you're tasked with is spending time with your family !!

just remember to thank tim, he got you a better job AND he gave you oppurtunities to spend time with them, that's all you've ever wanted, right?

if yall sent in a request i PROMISEE i will get back.. i'm just switching between writing the next chapter and giggling at all the nice things yall r saying >3>

[nosyrobin]

Yandere Older!Damian narrowing his eyes at his beloved husband who is getting checked out by the cashier. As reader goes to pay with his non-ring hand, Damian force switches it quickly to reader having to show his left hand. With Damian’s initials on it as well. The cashier frowns while Damian smirks.

Later on……

Damian: I should’ve had that lady’s head off for looking at you my beloved….

Reader who is nervously holding Damian’s hand: Dear…please. She’s only a cashier..

Damian who has a mean glare: Low life cashiers steal money from the cash register. What makes you think they won’t try to steal you from me..

Reader who is now baffled: Damn..

[orionremastered]

I’m actually so obsessed with the way you write the boys like🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

why thank you anon this made me smile

and because im nice (school hasn't started yet)

Masterlist

911 Texting the Batboys

Dick Grayson

Exactly one minute after you send him the text, the living room window shatters into a million pieces across the floor. Nightwing calls your name, voice raw with concern, before surveying the state of your apartment.

"Oh," you say quietly by the kitchen, staring at the broken pieces of glass across the floor and then at your boyfriend who stares at you, chest heaving as he looks at you, confused.

"You're not hurt?"

"Well— I— the pan caught fire. I put it out though. I'm not burnt, I promise."

He looks at you doubtfully, storming over before pulling you into a tight embrace. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"Don't be. It's okay. Don't be scared to text me if you're in any trouble. Promise you'll let me know if you're in danger?"

"I promise."

"Good," he mutters, though more as a reassurance for himself, resting his head on yours and breathing deeply.

"You can let me go now," you point out gently.

"Two more minutes."

Jason Todd

When your boyfriend takes longer to show up than expected, you start to get confused. And cold— it's the middle of winter and your hoodie was stolen while you were out with your friends.

And that wouldn't be a problem if you're car wasn't starting either.

The familiar roar of a motorcycle engine catches your attention, dark shape speeding down the street towards you. It skids to a stop, the tires screeching in order to slow.

"Hey," you say with a wave and a smile. "Car broke down and—"

Red Hood rushes off his motorbike, carefully grabbing you to look you over in the empty street. When he finds nothing, he sighs. "Thought you'd been kidnapped. Couldn't find you at your apartment."

Without waiting for your reply, he shrugs his brown leather jacket off his shoulders and places it around yours, helping you put your arms into the sleeves despite you protesting that you can do it yourself.

"Let's get you home," he says gruffly, aching to hold you in his embrace when no one can see. "I'll call in a favour to get your car fixed."

Tim Drake

You don't think you'd ever been more embarrassed in your life when you realised you forgot your phone, which has your card in the case, at home.

Tim rushes into the store, having tracked your location immediately and driving well over the speed limit, still in his pristine CEO outfit.

"What's wrong? Is someone bothering you?" his eyes dart around the store, taking everyone's face and putting it to memory.

"No... I forgot my phone and card. And I have a full cart of groceries. Tim, I can't put this all back, that's weird."

"Why didn't you ask me to pay before?"

"I— hmm. I'll do that next time."

You lead him to the counter were the high school aged cashier gapes at the richest man in Gotham who pays for the food without even glancing at the price.

Damian Wayne

When you texted 911 to your boyfriend, you certainly weren't expecting this. Somehow, in the five minutes of the text being sent, he managed to gather ten League of Assassins members that now stand in your suddenly very cramped apartment, sharp katanas at their side.

"Are you alright?" Damian himself has two katanas, glinting in the terrible lights. "What's wrong?"

It seems so stupid now with ten assassins behind him. Maybe you shouldn't have texted after all. "Look, it's really—"

"I don't care how little it is," he states, "You texted me for a reason."

"I... I thought I could hear someone talking and moving in the walls."

All eleven of them tense, exchanging glances. Damian gives them one sharp nod and the assassins begin locating any hollow spaces in the walls, tapping their knuckles and listening closely to the sounds.

"وجدت ذلك," one says after a few seconds.

"Don't worry about it habibi, we'll tear the building apart and find them," Damian assures you, pulling you into his arms.

[dcxdpdabbles]

For Angel Brat, could we have some more focus on Bruce and Danny? Maybe Dick and Danny as well?

Bruce looks over to where Danny and Dick are each filling up their frozen yogurt cups. Dick's, is a vanilla and chocolate mix topped with various candies.

It seemed he had taken the open bar toppings as a personal challenge to drop a scoop of everything laid out into his container. Honestly, Bruce sometimes wondered if all of Dick's spontaneous flips were just a means to stay in shape, so he could keep eating the way he did.

Danny, on the other hand, had chocolate topped with only peanuts. His blue eyes- the only difference between him and Damian physically wise- kept wandering over longingly to offered sweeties but he was on a strict diet for his health.

Bruce can't believe that for all they have been searching for ways to keep Danny; they had neglected developing research for his illnesses. It felt a bitter taste in his mouth that they still could not find a cure for his boy.

Bruce Wayne was able to travel through time but make sure his son could run long periods without his heart or his lungs breaking down? Turns out he truly is just a mortal, and that was one of the worst things to realize when his son confidently bragged about being able to do two entire laps of their yard without nearly passing out.

He mentally did some calculations before stepping closer and touching Danny's shoulder. "I think you can have some chocolate chips."

His boy's face brightened in joy before he rushed to the counter, scooping the chocolate goods into his yogurt. It's another thing he noticed about Danny.

Unlike Damian, his youngest didn't bother hiding his emotions. He wore them like a badge of honor, letting them bleed across his face as quickly as he allowed sunlight to rest on them.

Bruce isn't sure if this is due to their different personalities- like the night and day of those two- or if it was because Danny had gotten out of the League when he did. Damian had broken him out to prevent him from being killed for his execution, but Bruce could not figure out where Danny had grown up.

His son's phrases and slight accent indicated midwestern. Bruce had no idea where, and every time he tried searching for him, the only thing that popped up was the already small rumors. Was this an effect of the timeline resetting? But why were there some posts and data on him left behind if it was?

It gave Bruce a headache; even Wally had no idea what was causing it. Wally, having been trapped in the Speed Force for so long, was the expert on it. Bruce shuddered to think of the alternatives if he couldn't figure out what was happening.

Bart had assured everyone that Danny was officially an anchor to their timeline, but if Wally's grim warnings that time was slowly erasing him- thus the lack of proof of childhood- then nothing they could do would save their son.

The worst part was not knowing if he would even be able to properly mourn him. Would Daniel Wayne vanish one day if no one remembered he was supposed to be there?

"Dick, I'm taking a pottery class. I'm going to make you something for your desk." Danny says, snapping Bruce out of his dark thoughts. Then he realizes he was moving on auto-polite, and the cashier was handing back his change.

He takes it with an empty smile turning to his children as Dick beams down at the youngest. "I can't wait to see it, Danny! I bet it will be the best one in class."

"I'll be the only one in the class," Danny tells him sheepishly, but a hint of sadness leaks into his voice. "I'm too sick to go to the center. Dad hired me a private teacher to come to the manor instead."

Bruce's heart squeezes painfully, and one quick glance at Dick's face lets him know his son feels the same way. Of course, nothing sows on his eldest face, but Bruce has known Dick for so long he can tell by the slight tightening around his eyes and the way the pain is tucked in his eyes.

Before he can think better of it, Bruce hears himself say, "I've always been interested in pottery. I'll see if the instructor wouldn't mind a second student."

"Really?" Danny's eyes are practically shining , which prompts Bruce to smile and shrug a shoulder.

"Yes, in fact I'm sure all of your siblings would love to take a class or two. Why don't you send a message in the group chat to see if they like to sign up?" He makes a motion that has Dick pulling out his phone to send in a different group titled "Keep our Angel."

His phone dings just a few seconds before Danny's, which the more petite boy takes as his own message coming through. Bruce never the less checks it anyway, swiping over to Dick's to read what he wrote

Dick: You are all taking a pottery class this Saturday. No excuse. Danny wants us there. I will hurt you if you miss.

His lack of emojis is bone-chilling. Bruce highly doubts any of his children will miss the event. And just as he predicted, Danny's smile grows wider when more dings can be heard coming from his phone.

"Everyone can make it!" He cheers, scrolling through the messages, looking like the world had just been promised to him. "This is going to be so much fun! Do you think the teacher won't mind?"

"I'm sure she will be happy for the raise." And if she wasn't, Bruce would quickly find someone who would. Money, to him, was never an issue.

Danny grins so brightly that Bruce wonders if he should invest in some sunglasses, but his heart does soar. Even if Dick has to reach out to adjust Danny's heart pump wires after they get stuck on the chair.

Effortlessly, Dick moves the attention away from the machine with a simple question. "Besides my gift, what else are you hoping to make Danny?"

"I'm going to make a vase for Bernard. Damian will help me buy him flowers and ask him out." Danny's words are accompanied by a brilliant blush, but he seems almost proud of his newfound courage to ask a boy three years his senior.

Did Bruce just get shot? He feels like he's been shot.

Dick's little spoon crumbles in his hold as his very famous and dangerous rage bleeds into his blue eyes. "Wow. That's so brave of you. By the way, where does Bernard live again?"

Bruce will have to postpone his deep dive into finding out where Danny was raised because if he takes his attention off of Dick for even a second, his eldest will kill that boy.

[eiralunaire]

It was a quiet day in Dick Grayson's apartment. He had returned from a grueling mission and decided to distract himself with one of his favorite activities: looking through magazines related to interior design and photography, his side interests outside of hero work. He had bought a pack of magazines at a store, trusting that the cashier had understood his instructions, and was excited to flip through them.

However, upon opening the first magazine, what he saw perplexed him. They weren't interior designs or stunning landscapes. They were women in lingerie.

"What the...?" Dick muttered, frowning.

He flipped through the pages quickly, thinking he had chosen the wrong magazine. But then, his gaze stopped. There, on one of the center pages, was Reader.

"It can't be..." he whispered, leaning toward the image to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Reader was posing in a black lingerie set, with an air of elegance and confidence that seemed completely opposite to the cold and distant woman he knew from Damian's descriptions. Dick couldn't help but let out an incredulous laugh.

Determined to find out more, Dick looked through the rest of the magazines. To his surprise, Reader appeared in several of them: swimsuits, evening gowns, even in a special edition of wedding dresses. In each of them, Reader posed with the same intensity and professionalism, although some photos showed a more relaxed and playful side, as if she were enjoying the job.

"So this is 'the girl who drives Damian crazy'," he said to himself, with a smile.

But his curiosity didn't stop there. He decided to take photos of the covers and some pages and send them to the Wayne family chat group, which was usually a space to share memes, jokes and casual updates.

Dick: *"Is this what Damian calls 'a potential threat'? Because honestly, she doesn't look that dangerous."*

(He attached several photos of Reader in different outfits.)

The response was not long in coming.

Jason: *"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Damian, you've been found out! Is this why you're not sleeping at night?"*

Tim: *"Who is this? Wait... is this Reader? The same girl Damian's been keeping an eye on for years?"*

Bruce: *"Grayson, why do you have those magazines?"*

Dick: *"It was an accident. But hey, I couldn't keep this gem to myself."*

Jason: *"Jewelry? Damian's probably got a whole collection in his room."*

Damian, who was in the Batcave going over some reports, saw his phone explode with notifications. Upon opening the group, his face went from confusion to absolute anger.

"Grayson!" he growled, suddenly standing up and beginning to type an angry response.

Damian: *"Shut your mouth, Grayson! This has nothing to do with me."*

Dick: *"Relax, little bro. I'm just saying you have good taste. Although, honestly, I'm surprised you haven't done anything about it yet."*

Jason: *"Damian? Doing something romantic? I don't see it."*

Tim: *"This explains a lot... but it also raises more questions."*

That same night, as Damian tried to ignore his brothers' taunts, Dick decided it was time to step in. He knew Damian was too stubborn to admit his feelings for Reader, but he also knew that if no one did something, Damian would end up losing any chance with her.

"I think it's time to give him a push," he muttered to himself, with a mischievous smile.

He grabbed his phone and started scrolling through his contacts until he found Reader's name. Years of working on the Titans and the Hero Network had left him with an extensive contact list.

Dick: *"Hi, Reader. I'm Dick Grayson, Damian's brother. I know this may sound strange, but I think it would be good for you and Damian to talk. There are things that need to be cleared up. I can arrange a neutral meeting if you're interested."*

A few minutes later, Reader's reply came through.

Reader: *"Grayson? Is this some kind of joke?"*

Dick: *"Not at all. I just think you two have unfinished business, and as someone who's seen too much already, I think it would be good for both of you to work it out."*

Reader: *"I'm not interested in talking to him. But thanks for the offer."*

Dick: *"Not even to clarify why he knows so much about your modeling days? Because, believe me, it's given him a lot of... 'inspiration.'"*

Reader's silence was enough for Dick to know he'd hit a nerve.

"This is going to get interesting," he said, preparing himself for the chaos he knew was about to unfold.

[gffa]

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, I AM IN TEARS EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT. Like, this is Batburger, the birds have all been here before, this is not new to them, they knew the cashier would be dressed as Batman, they knew the menu was Bat-themed, they knew this when they invited Batman here. They knew how Bruce was going to react to all of this, there is no way they couldn't have chosen any other fastfood place in Gotham, there is no way they couldn't have known exactly what face Bruce was going to make when he was face to face with this shitshow of a restaurant. Later in the issue, we find out that Bruce would have preferred to meet in the Cave, but Dick says, no, we always meet in the Cave, eat your burger, Bruce, indicating that THIS IS DICK'S FAULT THAT DICK IS THE ONE WHO DECIDED THEY SHOULD MEET AT BATBURGER THAT DICK IS THE ONE WHO KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

Dick is also the one that got Damian a kids' meal, despite THAT'S NOT WHAT DAMIAN ASKED FOR, because it would have an action figure. DICK GRAYSON WOKE UP THAT MORNING AND CHOSE THE VIOLENCE IN HIS HEART AND HE SPARED NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE BATFAMILY.

[bruciemilf]

Need an AU where Bruce, after a particularly nasty fight with Dick, pays a visit to Dr. Fate,

It wasn't meant to happen. There's no such thing as a good patrol, but Dami wasn't supposed to get hurt. He wasn't supposed to hold back sobbing under Alfred's stitches.

Because kids aren't made for that. Kids aren't made for pain and agony. Kids aren't made to suffer quietly.

Dami reaches for him, face shining with sweat, and Bruce reaches back, " It's okay, Damian. You'll be fine,"

"Okay?!" Dick's anger is like a knife dragged on skin. He doesn't sound angry. Bruce works well with that. He sounds like someone whose baby brother is bleeding on their hands. Distraught and wrecked. "Nothing about this is okay. And you're going to act like this is normal?"

" Dick, now's not the time, --"

" No, little wing, it is. When I met Damian, -- I swore, that I wouldn't let Gotham break him like it broke you. That I'd never fail like Bruce failed you. Because that's what you do, isn't it? You're ruin. We're in pain, and you put us here."

And there's no real argument to be made. No rebuttal, no verbal combat. Bruce's words don't matter. The shatter in his heart doesn't matter. That flood of poisoning sadness stabbing his stomach doesn't matter.

Because Dick wasn't hateful. He wasn't angry. He was simply truthful. And it's no longer fair to pretend otherwise.

He accepts it with his head lowered and a mission in mind. He pretends every hair doesn't stiffen and his skin doesn't freeze when Damian's chokes, " Baba, don't go,"

But he knows what he has to do. And he knows Dr. Fate does, too.

"Erasing you from the chapters of time would be unwise. You are balance. It's also massively selfish, but I don't need to tell you that. Legends aren't legends by belonging to themselves. The world needs Barman,"

"But not Bruce Wayne."

Dr. Fate doesn't disagree.

"From the moment they met you. All memories. Everyone you've ever known isn't allowed to know you?''

He doesn't hesitate. Not even once, " Yes.''

"Be careful what you wish for, Wayne," But Dr. Fate glows, with brilliant white and gold, and Bruce's body quivers. God, he hates magic. "One day, it might come true."

---

Clark blinked.

"Sir? Are you okay?"

He wasn't sure why he was dizzy. He wasn't sure why he was standing in the middle of a jewelry store. "Oh, yes, I'm good. Sorry, just...I'll go now. I think I walked here by mistake."

The cashier gives him an understanding look, sending him off with a congratulations on the way.

He wast sure why she was congratulating him.

Why was he holding an engagement ring?

[g4rg0y1e]

I’ve been thinking about Damian leaving his life in Gotham to become a bookstore owner in Amity Park, Illinois, like he met Danny in the league and they had an arranged marriage that the Batfam did not know about and Damian didn’t want them to know anyway so he just flat out left and made a new life for himself near his beloved.

Damian owns a bookstore/coffee shop (obviously) and they live in this apartment above the building and the Everlasting Trio find out about this new place in town called The Bird’s Nest and they decide to try it out but as soon as they walk in Danny hears Damian, in this customer service voice say, “Welcome to The Bird’s Nest, make yourself at home.” and he runs to the cashier and sees his lover and breaks down. Damian hears his ugly sobs and looks up in concern.

Upon seeing Danny he rushes over to comfort him and Danny immediately latches onto him and saying things like “I thought i’d never see you again” and “please be real, please” and Damian is like “i’m here, it's me, i’m so so sorry, Beloved.” and Tucker and Sam are like freaking out a little but seeing Damian hold Danny like that they decided to just hang back for a little bit while Danny calms down, and once he can breathe without stuttering and can speak without feeling like the world is ending they all sit down in a booth together and they explaining to Tucker and Sam how they know each other.

Tucker and Sam are like a little concerned about it but they’re like “it’s fine we knew each other since we were toddlers and we got to know each other pretty well in the 15 years before our marriage.”  and so Damian and the Everlasting Trio start hanging out together a lot and they all start to fall in love :]

Meanwhile in Gotham

The Batfam are freaking the fuck out.

They’re frantically searching for Damian everywhere. They call Talia and ask her but she says she hasn’t seen him since his wedding which makes the Batfam panic even more because what wedding??  But she doesn’t say anything and they are confused but that’s not their concern so they contact the Justice League and get them involved like Robin is missing and we don’t know where he could be.  

So the JL are like searching and they come up with nothing and they decide to get Justice League Dark involved like Robin’s missing what do we do?  and JLD is like searching until they run out of other options and decide to summon the Ghost King Phantom and his Knight and Consorts

but they don’t know that the king has multiple consorts… Or that one of them is Damian… SO they summon them and the king looms over his knight as he covers his consorts with his cloak and Batman is like “please.. please, Great King Phantom… I need to find my child..” and the JL and JLD (that dont know their identities) are like omg does batsy think of rob as his child  and the King is like “Who are you looking for?” and Batman is like “Robin…Damian Wayne.” and the king tilts his head then opens his cape and Damian walks out slowly like “oh shit I forgot to tell them that I was gonna make a whole new life for myself in an entirely different state.”  and just goes “…heyyy.” and the Batfam starts freaking out like “Where have you been?!?” and Damian just goes “I was with my Beloveds.” 

and the batfam is like

“…”

“BELOVEDS, MULTIPLE???” 

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...

[at a sleepover]

Damian, whispering: Jon?

Jon: Yeah?

Damian: Our planet is doomed.

Jon: Yeah, it is.

Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?

Damian: Sure.

———————

Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.

Jon: *secretly starts recording*

Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.

Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.

Margie: And who do you think you are?

Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.

Jon: Say hi to the internet!

———————

Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*

Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?

Damian: Advertising our joint channel.

Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.

Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.

Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*

Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.

———————

Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*

Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.

Damian, typing code: Good idea.

Barbara: What's that?

Jon: Our new website.

Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.

Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.

———————

Kara: What do you want to drink?

Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?

Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?

Kara: *starts typing into Google*

Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?

———————

[texting]

Jon: Dami, get on Discord.

Damian: Why?

Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.

———————

Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!

Selina: What is it?

Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.

Selina: Show me.

———————

Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.

Damian and Jon: *snicker*

Kate: What?

Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...

Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.

———————

Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*

Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.

Dick: What's a BeReal?

———————

Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.

Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.

Lois: What are you doing?

Jon: We're playing Society.

———————

Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.

Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*

Jon: Huh?

Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.

Damian: I think he meant this.

Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*

———————

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *hops over a log*

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *climbs a tree*

Damian: *recording*

Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.

Bruce: Mhm.

Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?

Jon: Parkou—

Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.

Jon: I have an app that can scan it.

Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.

[damianwaynesutilitybelt]

*Bruce and damian doing grocery shopping*

Cashier; that'll be $87.56!

Bruce: *opens wallet*

Damian: No, father, I'll pay. I'll take care of it it. Save your money I'll take care of it i know you're low on money

Bruce: ....

[trashcanfanfics]

Part 2 Of Vigilante!Reader

Part 1 ^

It's been a while since Jason had seen you. No fighting on the rooftops. No seeing you in the distance. No banter. Nothing. It was driving him crazy. He hadn't seen you in weeks. He wondered what could have happened. Did you get hurt? Why did that hit him in the gut?

"Jaybird!" The voice made him groan and grapple off the roof to another. "Wha-! Aw, c'mon!" Dick followed him for the next few buildings until Jason gave up and stopped. He turned towards Nightwing.

"What?" He growled out. Dick raised his hands and his smile grew wider. He didn't like that smile. It irritated him and made his sour mood worse. Jason grit his teeth.

"I just came to say hi!" The older man shrugged. He seemed extra bouncy tonight. Maybe it was just Jason being on edge. "Oh, and to tell you about this new vigilante." Jason's heart jumped at the mention. Was it you? That'd be a coincidence. He was just brooding over you.

"New vigilante?" He tried not to sound too eager. Knowing Dick, he'd grab hold of that and run with it. "What's the name?" Nightwing's smile switched to a smaller, less energetic one. Just a friendly, non bouncy one. Jason really was tense tonight.

"Yeah." He said your alias. Jason's chest felt tight. "They were just over near the edge of your territory. We talked, they seemed nice." Jealousy rippled under the Red Hood's skin. Dick got to talk to you tonight and he hadn't heard your muffled voice in weeks. It boiled his blood. He hardly noticed Damian joining them on the roof.

"Are we discussing the new vigilante?" Even Robin knew who you were. "They seemed competent enough." Of course the brat talked to you too. Was everyone going to talk to you before he could even look at you again? He swore if one more person came up on the roof, he'd kick them off it.

~*~

You were avoiding the Red Hood. It became too complicated for you. You started to feel giddy at the thought of seeing him. That was dangerous and stupid. You didn't even know who he was under that mask. And he's killed people.

"Fucking stupid." You muttered to yourself, climbing into your window and taking off your mask. Your patrol went perfect, well, almost. You ran into Nightwing and Robin earlier. Separately, which was weird considering the latter usually had someone with him. You entered your room and took off your gear. The sun was rising and you decided to go to the convenience store on the corner to get something to eat. You were craving a doughnut.

The door dinged as you entered and went to the pastry case. Someone was already there. A tall man with black hair, a white streak falling over his eyes. He wore a red hoodie and black sweats. Why do those boots look familiar? The florescent lights haloed him. He was beautiful. You recognized you were staring and quickly laid your eyes on the bear claw in the case. The one the beautiful stranger just grabbed. Dammit.

You moved to the case, making the stranger look at you and move out of your way. He took the last one. Motherfucker. You sighed and grabbed your next choice. The stranger looked down at his hand that held the bear claw and back to you. He shrugged to himself and walked to the register. That ass knew what he did. Your blood pressure rose. You almost tripped him out of habit. Why was that a habit with this stranger?

"Would you like a bag?" The cashier's monotone voice pulled you back to the moment. You stood in line behind Mr. Dickface. He finished his transaction and looked back at you for a second before going to leave. The cashier looked at you. "Is this everything for you?"

"Yeah." You noticed the stranger stop and turn his head back towards you. You kept him in your peripheral just in case he tried something. Though, you think if he wanted to rob the store he would've done it already. "No, I don't need a bag." The cashier gave you your change and you turned towards the exit. That was still blocked by the stranger. He exited and held the door open the door for you. You thanked him and walked out, still keeping an eye on him.

"I'm Jason." He held his hand out to you once you were out of the door. You looked down at his hand then back to meet his eye. He offered a small smile. You tentatively reached out and shook his hand, introducing yourself. His smile widened slightly, face briefly showing recognition before going back to a neutral politeness. It put you on edge.

"Well...Thanks." You turned around and began walking to your apartment. He didn't follow you but you made sure to take the long, complicated way home. You even used the fire escape in the alley instead of going into the building. Weird, beautiful stranger.